The Mom Psychologist Show: Recent Episodes
Dr. Jazmine
Are you ready to feel more confident in your parenting, connect with your child in deeper more meaningful ways and reclaim your joy in parenting? Each week Dr. Jazmine reveals her best tips, strategies, and mindsets around positive parenting, child development and mental health. Teaching you how to discipline with clarity and respect, handle tantrums without losing your sanity and potty train like a pro - The Mom Psychologist Show breaks it all down (and so much more) with a new episode each and every week!
Now that it's officially gift giving season, I wanted to be sure to address the issue of teaching kids manners.
I know it's so tempting to demand our kids tell the gift giver THANK YOU. And I know during these moments we want to make sure our child shows their gratitude for the things they receive.
But rather than force gratitude, I'm a huge fan of teaching kids why showing our appreciation for others' kindness is important and modeling the skills we want to teach them.
Now hear me out - I'm not against prompting our kids to say 'Thank you' and I'm definitely a fan of teaching our kids' manners. Let's just be sure to mix in some teaching and modeling. And remember, kids can show their appreciation with their actions (hugs, high fives) not just their words.
So in this episode, I'll share tips on how to teach kids gratitude and things to say during those awkward moments when your child receives a gift and says...nothing... 😑
// Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop //
We talk all year long about positive parenting but I wanted to be sure to provide holiday-specific tips because this time of year tends to bring JOY and CHALLENGES.
It's exciting but can also feel stressful, busy and overwhelming for both parents and kids.
What I want to first point out is that if your child seems more difficult this time of the year than normal, this is a commonly due to underlying stress.
Children aren't really good communicators and can't sit us down and say, "Mom, dad, I'm feeling stressed right now. I feel like I have no down time and seeing all these people feels both exciting and overwhelming. I need some help coping..."
Ha! Wouldn't that be nice!
Instead, they will show their stress with their behavior, like crankiness, sassiness, defiance, clinginess, and of course, tantrums. 😰
So the key is look out for these signs and when we see them, try our best to lower their stress.
Of course, we can't prevent ALL stress – we just want to be more mindful of this especially during the holiday season.
So in this week's episode, I'll share my top 3 positive parenting tips for preventing stress during this holiday season!
// Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop //
My two preschoolers started school back in August and we are still getting in the swing of things.
We were late the first day of school, due to all the traffic, & it was literally my worst nightmare. 😅😂
Now that we've been practicing our school morning routine for several months, I thought it would be fun to share some behind the scenes of what our mornings tend to look like.
I'm always curious how other parents manage the hectic morning routine so I figured many of you might be curious how we navigate hectic school day mornings with two preschoolers.
Now huge disclaimer - No mornings are ever perfect or exactly the same. This is the general flow we usually follow that's been working for us, but by no means, is our routine the be all, end all.
//Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop //
Ah, chores! Similar to mealtime, bedtime, and potty training, chores are a perfect breeding ground for power struggles!
Now I actually like to frame chores as family contributions because it helps set the stage for why we do these things in the first place.
It's important we establish routines around family contributions because it sends our kids the clear message that they matter! Our kids come to learn that they play a huge role in keeping the family running smoothly and their contributions make a difference (which boosts their self esteem and feelings of significance).
It also teaches them:
- Life skills
- Work ethic
- Appreciate the work of others
- Curbs entitlement
- Teaches independence
I'm a huge fan of beginning to teach this practice during the toddler years because again, it sends a strong message that everyone contributes to the family (all year long) no matter how young or busy you are.
But I get it, it's not always so easy to motivate our kids to actually want to do their chores so in this week's episode, I discuss:
- The best (and easiest) way to enlist more cooperation when it comes to chores
- Simple ways to start a chore routine
- 3 tips for enlisting more cooperation during chores
Don’t forget to download my free chore checklists for a list of age appropriate chores and a chore chart to help you get started! - www.themompsychologist.com/chores
I think one of the most powerful gifts we can give our kids is the gift of knowing how to be smart with our money.
After all, money touches every area of our lives (whether we talk about it or not) and it also ties into our overall sense of safety & security.
Yet, did you know... The majority of families tend to shy away from having conversations about it (even though kids begin to form their core beliefs & habits about money by age 7!).
And I know, there's a lot of buzz around whether or not kids should to get an allowance.
In this week's episode, I share:
-Whether or not I think giving kids an allowance is a good idea
-The one huge (& common) mistake parents make when it comes to teaching about money
-The huge paradigm shift that must happen in your family when you start teaching about money
-Helpful resources and tools to teach your kids about money
-And so much more!
Resources Mentioned: https://a.co/7yxcc5o
// Join the waitlist for my private parent coaching community, The Mom Sisterhood - http://www.themompsychologist.com/sisterhood
// Don’t forget to download my free chore checklists for a list of age appropriate chores and a chore chart to help you get started! - www.themompsychologist.com/chores
I know for many of us, becoming a calmer parent is one of our top priorities. And I love this for us because this places less of the focus on trying to fix and control our child and instead, focuses on what we CAN control, which is our own behaviors and choices as parents.
But let's be real - Handling our parenting triggers and staying calm in the moment is a lot easier said than done.
And we're not always going to get this right.
In this week's episode, I want to share a simple step by step guide to managing parenting triggers in the moment. Towards the end of the video, I also share my own personal experience with anger and what helps me to manage my own parenting triggers.
Don’t forget to check out my free resource, "A Simple Guide to Becoming a Calmer Parent" -- www.themompsychologist.com/calmparenting
Let's face it - The pressure on us parents is endless and we're often stressed, which makes it hard to stay calm.
Though I know, becoming a calmer parent is often what we want MOST. So why is it so easy to feel triggered and angry at our kids even when we don't want to be?
In parenting, anger is used to defend against our sense of self. Anger makes us feel powerful and it makes us feel like we're DOING something to change our circumstance (And help our kids learn better). But oftentimes, our anger backfires because it escalates the situation and leaves us feeling guilty and ashamed.
So in this week's episode, I share 3 common reasons why you're so angry with your kids (with examples and thoughts many parents have).
Understanding the WHY is the first best step to becoming a calmer parent.
Hope you enjoy!
//FREE Resource: A Simple Guide to Becoming a Calmer Parent: http://www.themompsychologist.com/calmparenting //
I can't believe I'm in my 3rd trimester already!
If you missed my announcement episode and you're like "Huh, wait what?!" - yes, ya girl is pregnant and due in late November/early December.
I can't believe I'm in my 3rd trimester already!
If you missed my announcement episode and you're like "Huh, wait what?!" - yes, ya girl is pregnant and due in late November/early December.
Adding a new member to the family is such a big change for everyone so I wanted to share my experiences and answer your questions like:
❓How do you balance staying present and calm during pregnancy (especially with other kids)?
❓How are you preparing your daughters for the new baby? How are they reacting to your pregnancy?
❓What's different and the same about this pregnancy compared to your other two?
❓Do you know the baby's sex?
❓Do you have a baby name picked out?
So potty training was a success for a while, but now your child is showing regressive behaviors
- Demanding you put their diaper back on
- Insisting they're still a baby
- Backsliding into more and more accidents
We consider a child to have regressed when they return to a former or less developed state.
In this episode, I'll share:
- Common reasons for potty training regression
- My step by step process to handling potty training regression like a PRO!
PS: Don’t forget to take my NEW free potty training quiz, “Is your child ready to potty train?” - -https://www.themompsychologist.com/pottyquiz
Have you started potty training and now you're second guessing your decision?
Are you constantly wondering, "Is my child really ready? Should I have waited longer? Do I continue or stop now?"
Maybe they're having so many accidents, couldn't care less about wetting themselves, or is refusing to even sit on the potty...
You know your child has to be ready to potty train in order to ensure their success, but how do you make this judgement call?
Well in this week's episode, I'll be sharing 5 common signs your child is NOT ready to potty train!
PS: Don’t forget to take my NEW free potty training quiz, “Is your child ready to potty train?” - -https://www.themompsychologist.com/pottyquiz
In the psychology world we call this "after school restraint collapse" but in real life this looks like your kid being a hot mess after school:
- Tantrums/meltdowns
- Grumpiness/moodiness
- Anger
- Yelling
- Refusing to listen
This often happens because if you think about it, all day long, our kids are trying to holding it together. They try their best to keep their true, messy emotions to themselves so that they can do well in school/daycare and we love that for them.
But what that often results in them feeling exhausted, overstimulated and drained when they return home, especially for kids who are adjusting to a new school, routine or longer school day.
In this episode, I share exactly how to prevent and manage after school tantrums!
Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop
Nothing sours a game faster than hearing our child whine and cry after losing.
"I give up!"
"That's not fair!"
"I don't want to play anymore!!"
And now we're regretting even playing the game with our kids. It's tempting to say back:
"Don't be a sore loser!"
"You can't win all of the time!"
"Stop that crying."
"If you're going to keep being upset, we're not playing this game anymore!"
But if we step back and think about it - participating in games and sports demands a lot out of our kids.
They have to balance:
✔Remembering the rules & following directions.
✔Regulating their emotions
✔Practicing impulse control (Wait their turn, sit quietly)
✔See things from others' perspective
✔Understand fairness
✔Recognize mistakes + think of ways to improve
✔Celebrating the success of others
It's a lot for our kids to navigate so in this week's episode, I'm going to share 6 tips on how to teach your kids how to lose gracefully and practice good sportsmanship.
Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop
Tired of Your Kid Interrupting You? Fix it With My Easy 4 Step Process! It's important we as parents set boundaries when it comes to kids' interruptions.
If we don't, and we allow our kids to constantly interrupt us, we run the risk of teaching them that:
👉🏽What they want/need trumps others' wants and needs
👉🏼You don't need to think before you speak or wait your turn Interrupting others can have negative implications when it comes to them making and keeping friends and having positive sibling relationships.
So in this episode, I'll break down
✅Why kids often interrupt
✅My 4-step process to cutting back on all the interruptions with respect
✅Bonus tips to ensure success!
Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop
The biggest discipline mistake you might be making is ... Pretending your boundaries and parenting decisions are solely based on your kids and what's is best for them. It's easy to rationalize that our boundaries have more to do with what's most logical or responsible, when truthfully.... a lot of times, our boundaries and parenting decisions are based on OUR emotions.
➡What we as parents need
➡What we as parents prefer
➡What we feel most comfortable with
➡What we think is most socially acceptable And that's nothing to be ashamed of. We are humans, after all! I think we just owe it to our kids to be honest and upfront with them. Or else, we run the risk of them feeling ashamed and to blame for every - little - thing.
Also, constantly blaming our boundaries on our child also creates unnecessary distance in the parent-child relationship that is completely avoidable.
So in this week's episode, I’m going to break down:
✅Exactly how to take this approach without raising people pleasers or making your child feel responsible for your feelings!
✅Why this approach actually does more to empower your kids and leads to more connection in the parent-child relationship!
💥FREE DISCIPLINE GUIDE💥 Age Appropriate Discipline for Toddlers & Preschoolers: www.themompsychologist.com/free-guide//
As parents, it's easy to get into negative and unhelpful cycles with our kids especially when it comes to discipline. I'm here to help you get unstuck.
In today's episode, I'm going to break down 3 common myths when it comes to child behavior and discipline and the truths you need to know!
//FREE DISCIPLINE GUIDE: Age Appropriate Discipline for Toddlers & Preschoolers: www.themompsychologist.com/free-guide//
It's the morning time, and you need your child to get dressed, brush their teeth, eat breakfast but every where you turn, they refuse.
Or what about bedtime when it's time to do the same thing, get dressed, brush their teeth, go potty, and hop in bed.... Nope, they'd rather jump around and play.
It's no secret, routines are one of the hardest parts of parenting.
They are the perfect breeding ground for POWER STRUGGLES.
We need our kid to do something that they probably don't want to do and it has to do with their BODY. We obviously can't skip routines, so how do we get through it without a fight??
In this episode, I'll share
✔Common reasons kids resist routines
✔3 tips to increase cooperation and cut back on power struggles during routines
✔A free resource that will help you if/when they refuse to cooperate
//FREE DISCIPLINE GUIDE: Age Appropriate Discipline for Toddlers & Preschoolers: www.themompsychologist.com/free-guide//
Forced apologies – telling your child "Say you're sorry!! Right now!!!"
I know it comes from a good place - we want our kids to be respectful, have manners and have empathy. We want them to be caring and recognize their mistakes and then take action in making amends.
But in this episode, I discuss:
✔3 Common reasons why forced apologies often backfire ✔Why forcing our kids to apologize doesn't actually teach empathy and respect
✔How to go about teaching lessons in a developmentally appropriate way that doesn't lead to power struggles.
[Check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop]
I know for many of us parents, having "the talk" with our kids can feel daunting.
❓Where do we begin?
❓What do we say?
❓How do we avoid scaring them? ❓Are we giving out too much information? Not enough?
Generally speaking, sex education and conversations about sex and private parts often begins with your child's normal curiosity about their bodies.
Here's some best practices when it comes to these conversations:
✔Follow their lead. Let your child set the pace on what they learn.
✔Answer their questions openly and honestly but also simply and matter-of-factly.
✔Be sure to only answer THEIR question
✔Be careful not to create shame around their questions or bodies in general.
In this episode, I share:
➡How to best respond depending on your child's age/stage ➡How to respond to common questions like, how are babies made?!
➡My favorite children's books for teaching about sex, private parts, body consent and safety and more! List of
Check out my Amazon Storefront @themompsychologist for a list of recommended books.
[Check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop]
Learning how to ride a bike without training wheels a is huge developmental milestone.
I’ll never forget the day my mom taught me how to ride a bike. I remember how confident and accomplished I felt when I finally got it down.
Well, we recently taught my 5-year old how to ride a bike without training wheels and I want to share with you what it was like for us and practical tips for curbing our own anxiety as parents so we don’t pass it on to our kids!
In this week's episode, I share:
✅ When to teach your kids to ride a bike without training wheels
✅ Things to know before you start
✅ Things to teach kids before you start including what safety rules to teach
✅ Step by step how we taught our daughter
✅ Tips for managing child and parent anxiety
PS: Be sure to take my free 2-min quiz to find out your parenting style and tips for better connection and cooperation! Link in my bio or go to www.themomopsychologist.com/quiz
Aggression is overwhelming, confusing, and triggering... Am I right?
Oftentimes, when kids feel overwhelmed and can't find the words to communicate their feelings and get their needs met, they resort to aggression (whether that's hitting, kicking, biting, throwing, etc).
During the toddler and preschool years, this is especially common because at this age they:
-Lack the communication skills. -Are easily overwhelmed and frustrated.
-Are incredibly impulsive. They are about the here and now and rarely plan ahead.
-Self focused and have a hard time stepping outside of themselves to see how their behavior will impact others.
-Have a healthy need for power, control and independence. Given their age and abilities, though, they are often not able to do what they want to do.
In this week's episode, I share 3 secrets to preventing and taming childhood aggression!
Now keep in mind, secret # 3 might look different if you have a young toddler who is not yet communicative. You can still tell the story for them, establish clear boundaries (e.g., "Hitting hurts.") and help teach them the words to get their needs met, though, so don't skip these steps!
//Watch my free discipline workshop to learn how to get more cooperation without yelling ➡ http://www.themompsychologist.com/workshop //
Discipline is hard especially if you're trying to be a positive parent and you're trying not to yell, punish or bribe your kids into cooperation.
You might often wonder...
💭"Am I being mean?"
💭"Am I being too inflexible?"
💭"Am I being too permissive?"
💭"How do I set limits so they listen without hurting our relationship?!"
If so, this episode is for you!
In general, discipline takes
- An understanding of what your child can/can't do from a developmental perspective
- Connection before, during, and after setting limits
- Regulation of our emotions (and our child's)
- Clear instructions
- Thought out boundaries/consequences
In this episode, I'll share 3 common mistakes parents make when disciplining!
Surprise! I'm pregnant with baby #3! 🎉
It feels like I've been keeping this secret for FOREVER so I'm so excited to share it with you guys!
In this week's episode, I catch you up to how my pregnancy is going so far including my honest emotional reaction to being a mom of 3 and how I've been feeling physically. I also share how we told our daughters + how they are feeling about being big sisters.
Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop
Few things are more triggering than seeing your kids fight nonstop with each other. And when there's aggression involved, our brains go into emergency mode and want to make it stop right NOW.
And rightfully so. Our main job is to keep our kids safe and aggression towards others is a threat to safety.
There's so much to say about sibling conflict but in today's episode, I want to talk specifically about the dynamic where an older sibling (I'm imagining toddler or preschool age) becomes aggressive towards their younger sibling (an infant, young toddler).
How do we respond? What's the best way to intervene in these situations? Let's discuss.
➡Register for my upcoming live intensive workshop on June 2 at 12 PM PST on How to Reduce Sibling (and Peer) Rivalry & Foster Connection
You will learn how to navigate:
✔Sibling rivalry & jealousy
✔Sibling & peer aggression and arguments
✔Toy battles and sharing
✔How to promote positive sibling and peer relationships
You’ll also get to participate in a Q&A and receive handouts to help guide and remind you of what to do during moments of conflict.
And for everyone who registers for the class, you’ll have UNLIMITED access to the class recording!
Go the http://www.themompsychologist.com/siblingclass
The toddler years are full of so many transitions. From bottles to cups, pacifiers to other comfort items, cribs to toddler beds, and diapers to underwear - it’s a lot of transition and it can feel stressful for both kids and parents. You might be wondering — Which one comes first? Is it pacifiers, toddler beds, or potty training?! What’s the best order? How do I minimize the tears and make it as smooth as possible? In this episode, I share exactly what order to do all these transitions in and why! DOWNLOAD MY FREE POTTY TRAINING CHECKLISTS for a complete list of signs to look out for, potty training essentials, and how to mentally prepare yourself and your child for potty training: https://themompsychologist.com/pottychecklists
I know in the parenting world, it's easy to focus on the areas we need to grow and the areas our children need to grow. But today, I want to share signs you are GROWING as a parent. I know it's easy to focus only on the areas where we need to improve (discipline, validating feelings, boundaries, etc) that it's so easy to lose sight of our WINS. I'm a huge fan of celebrating our wins as parents because if we start to pay attention to them, the wins start to stack up! All of a sudden, we're WINNING! In this week's episode, I dive into the 6 signs you're growing as a parent and breaking generational cycles! JOIN THE MOM SISTERHOOD FOR PARENT COACHING & COMMUNITY! http://themompsychologist.com/sisterhood
Are you feeling burned out and miserable as a mom? Do you feel like life is passing you by while you sludge from one pointless task to another? Maybe you've started to regret becoming a mom because you miss your old life before when you could sleep in, be more spontaneous, and relish in your own desires and needs without having to constantly consider another's. Then, once you realize you're having these thoughts, here comes the MOM GUILT. "I'm such a bad mom! I can't believe I miss my life before kids. I love my kids. Why am I thinking like this?!" If you can relate, please know I see you + you're soooo not alone! This week, I'm bringing another episode of Ask Dr. Jaz where you ask questions and I offer my thoughts. And a fellow mom from our community, bravely shared that she doesn't enjoy motherhood and often regrets her old life. Come hear my advice for Emma (and all moms out there) struggling to find JOY in motherhood! PS: Be sure to take my free 2-min quiz to find out your parenting style and tips for better connection and cooperation! Link in my bio or go to www.themomopsychologist.com/quiz
IN A RUSH?! How to Be a Patient Parent When You're in a TIME CRUNCH! STORY TIME & TIPS | The Mom Psychologist A quick story time about morning impatience, rush, and stress to show how I used my power of awareness to harness more patience and calm. JOIN THE FREE 5 DAY MINDFUL MAMA CHALLENGE for greater self-awareness, patience, and presence! ➡ http://www.themompsychologist.com/challenge
When we're frustrated at our kids, we tend to move with haste. Everything feels like an emergency that needs to be handled immediately.
I know it sounds almost too simple to be effective, but talking out loud can help you slow down.
Taking time to label your emotions, talk through what's happening in the moment and how it's impacting you can have such a powerful impact.
Doing this teaching your child:
✔Intense emotions are normal
✔How to handle intense feelings in the moment in healthy ways
✔Feelings aren't good or bad. They just are. It's what we do in response to our intense feelings that matters.
✔Feelings come and go
In this video, I'll share exactly what to say in the moment when you're feeling frustrated in front of your kids.
JOIN THE FREE 5 DAY MINDFUL MAMA CHALLENGE for greater self-awareness, patience, and presence! ➡ http://www.themompsychologist.com/challenge
Let's face it. We all need breaks from our kids. It's impossible to be "ON" 24/7 as parents. Trying to be ON all the time leads to us yelling, losing our cool and doing and saying these we later regret. That's why I think it's so important for us parents to regularly take breaks from our kids. This truly is an excellent skill to model for kids. They'll learn this from seeing us do this over and over again. Ideally, our kids will come to expect this from us and even take their own breaks when needed. Think of parenting as a marathon, not a sprint. Every day, we're running a marathon and we will need periods of rest and mental breaks to get back in the race. In this week's episode, I break down how to tell your kids you need a break, step by step! I also share troubleshooting advice when they get upset by our need for a break and how to take breaks when with infants and young toddlers. Take my free 2-min quiz: What's Your Parenting Style?http://www.themompsychologist.com/quiz
Figuring out how to redirect behavior and increase your child's cooperation can feel tricky in the moment. We know that our language is important but it's easy to feel flustered and fall back on old habits and say and do things we hate, like yelling, punishing, and dishing out empty threats. Ideally speaking, it's important to think ahead on how we want to show up in the moment and what we want to say so that we can show up in the ways we want most. In general you want to: ✔Provide information on why you want to do something different ✔Give them an alternative to try in the moment ✔Make a plan for when they can get their need/want met ✔Let them know of the consequence if the behavior continues ✔Choose clear language that directly sets expectations for behavior In this week's video, I break down each point and provide examples and phrases to try in the moment. This will help you feel more prepared for how to handle difficult parenting moments. Take my free 2-min quiz: What's Your Parenting Style?http://www.themompsychologist.com/quiz
Transitioning out of naps can feel tricky to navigate. ❓At what age do kids drop naps for good? ❓What to do their naps start to interfere with bedtime? ❓What to do if they resist staying in their room during their usual nap time? It's tricky, partly because every child's sleep needs and routine are different. In general, I recommend keeping naps for as long as possible (as long as it's not interfering with bedtime sleep). And when they stop napping (or naps stop being helpful), quiet time can be a great alternative to try. During quiet time, kids engage in play and other activities by themselves. Their area is quiet and away from stimulation. They may even still have their sound machine on and the room can be dim. They're not interacting with anyone else or on their screens. Why is quiet time important? Everyone (including our kids) needs time during the day to rest and recharge. We are more likely to get irritable and overstimulated if we're around people all day and don't have time to ourselves. This is also an important skill to learn (The art of being alone) and this time alone encourages creativity, innovation, and self-reflection. In this episode, I share: ✅How to know when it's time to shift from naps to quiet time ✅How long quiet time should be ✅What activities are best for quiet time ✅How to implement quiet time if you live in a small house and/or your kids share a room ✅How to respond if/when your child resists quiet time and leaves the room QUIET TIME ESSENTIALS (AMAZON AFFILIATE LINKS): https://a.co/3PWEcVL Don’t forget to check out my free discipline workshop, “How to Get Your Child to Listen Without Yelling” - www.themompsychologist.com/workshop
Undergoing major life transitions like starting a new grade, moving to a new home, or welcoming a new sibling can be really stressful for kids.
Common signs of stress in kids include tantrums, regression (including sleep and potty training), body complaints (stomachaches, headaches, etc), general anxiety and worry, anger, crying, separation anxiety, and/or new or recurring fears.
In this week's episode, I share:
✅How to start the conversation with your kids about their stressful experience(s)
✅How to help your child problem solve and cope better with stress
✅Several other practical tips for stress management for kids.
Join the waitlist for my private parent coaching community for ongoing parent coaching and encouragement - http://themompsychologist.com/sisterhood
So you've been trying all the latest tips and tricks when it comes to positive parenting. You've been reading up on tantrums and you're trying to validate your child's feelings and label their emotions because ultimately you want to raise an emotionally intelligent child who makes good choices. The only catch is it seems to backfire in the moment. Rather than helping to calm your child's tantrum, your words seem to escalate them! You go to talk about feelings, and it only activates their feelings even more! What gives?! Well in this episode of Ask Dr. Jaz, I breakdown the common reasons why your words backfire and how the experience may feel for your child. I also dive into what to do and say during these stressful moments if your words seem to hurt rather than help. PS: Call (916) 581-0177 to submit your question for a chance to be featured in a future episode.
I know the topic of rewards while potty training can be a bit controversial and many of us have mixed feelings. In this week's episode, I share my candid clinical recommendations as well as my personal experience when it comes to rewards and potty training. But I'll cut to the chase in this email - I think it's up to the parent/caregiver to decide. Every parent is so different and what motivates one child might not motivate another. I think it's important to decide what's best for your family even if it takes a bit of trial and error to get there. This week's episode dives in to what positive reinforcement is, the different forms (including rewards) and some things to consider about each form. Now one thing I didn't mention in the episode that I want to make clear is there's a difference between rewards and bribing. Rewards are pre-planned and intentional. It follows the behavior you're trying to teach while bribes precede the behavior. A reward sounds like, "WHEN you sit on the potty, THEN you'll receive this." VS a bribe sounds like, "I'll give you a piece of candy IF you sit on the potty." Bribes are often done out of desperation and overwhelm. Visit https://themompsychologist.com/pottybootcamp to check out my potty training class!
The number one question I receive when it comes to potty training is, "How do I know when they're ready???"
Here's the thing - there's no magical age when it comes to potty training.
Every child is different and should start when they are developmentally ready.
In general, you want to look out for developmental signs of readiness including:
✔Physiological development
✔Motor development
✔Cognitive and language development
✔Emotional and social development
In this episode, break down exactly what the most common signs are in each category. Keep in mind, they don't need to show all signs to be deemed ready and there are things you can do to help prepare them for potty training (discussed during the episode).
POTTY TRAINING CLASS: Visit http://www.themompsychologist.com/pottybootcamp for all the details.
The early days and weeks of potty training can be really tricky! Accidents and resistance are par for the course. But with all the struggles, it can be hard to know what to do and say while potty training. In this video, I'll breakdown: ✔Top phrases to avoid saying while potty training ✔Why you want to avoid these phrases ✔What to do and say in the moment for more potty training success! Need more potty training support? Don't miss my live potty training class on Feb. 16th! Click the link for all the details! http://www.themompsychologist.com/pottybootcamp
Of course we hope our children never encounter an unsafe stranger. We hope they will never be in a place where they have to scream and defend themselves against an unsafe person or stranger.
But, just as with other important life skills, this is an important life skill to teach our children. Begin to teach them about strangers around age 4.
You'll also want to teach about body boundaries and consent. Unfortunately, some familiar adults can prove dangerous as well.
In this episode, I share:
✔Important things to teach before teaching about stranger danger
✔How to define who a stranger is and who a trusted person is
✔What to teach them to do and say if they find themselves in an unsafe situation
✔And more!
In parenting, we tend to fall back on phrases when talking with our kids. We use the same phrases over and over again. Some of these phrases work and others, not so much. It's so important to reflect on the language we use, especially if our goal is to elicit more cooperation and help our kids make good choices. In today's episode, I'll share 6 common parenting phrases to stop using. For each phrase, I'll share why we often say these phrases in the first place, why it backfires on us, and most importantly, what to say instead and why. Hope you enjoy! PS: Check out my free discipline workshop, How to Get Your Kids to Listen Without Yelling, at www.themompsychologist.com/workshop!
Giving our kids the language to use during social situations is KEY. When we teach kids exactly what they can say to get their needs met in social situations, we are building their self awareness, confidence, and ability to advocate for themselves. In general, I'm a fan of teaching good manners (e.g., please, thank you, excuse me), how to advocate for boundaries, how to ask for help, how to communicate their feelings and needs, and how to initiate conversations. In today's episode I will the exact phrases, word for word, to start teaching your child to say. You'll want to start teaching these phrases as soon as possible. Even if you have an infant. You can start teaching them through your modeling. Kids are always listening and picking up on our language (for better or worse, lol). Mind as well be intentional about the language we use so they can start advocating for themselves. Teaching these phrases will cut back on tantrums and aggressive behaviors because now they have the language they can use instead of lashing out with their bodies. It's a win-win! Hope you enjoy! PS: Check out my free discipline workshop, How to Get Your Kids to Listen Without Yelling, at www.themompsychologist.com/workshop!