"25th of Feb"

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? I, personally, am a firm believer that every. single. thing. transpires with a purpose. Since before I can remember, I have lived with perpetual anxious energy. My heart would thump in my chest if I had failed, underachieved or I had let someone else down. I believed that I had to be perfect and if I wasn't reaching that, I was not doing well enough. I made up worst case scenarios in my head and my palms would sweat, if I felt as though someone was even remotely upset with me. I over think minuscule details and obsess compulsively about almost everything. I had a permanent cloud fogging my brain, almost reminding me that I would never be enough. I had battled momentary bouts of depression on a minor scale and encountered challenges and obstacles, like anybody else, but amidst all of this chaos going on in my mind, my life was good. Fast forward to the 25th of February 2016, when the rug was pulled out from underneath me. This was my “definitive” moment. This is my “story”. My life was moving in one direction & then all of a sudden, it wasn’t. This change of direction, this sense of destruction and debilitation, being entirely out of my control, was incredibly confronting for a “control freak” like myself and forced me to embark on a raw journey of self discovery. Whilst onboard this, I hit rock bottom. Metaphorically, I lost everything but most significantly, I lost myself. Upon discovery it became apparent that most individuals have a moment in time that has been definitive in the evolution of their own story. This amalgamation of discussions will endeavour to open up the conversation on other people’s journeys, their fork in the road, their battle, their struggles, their lows & how it ultimately defined them and how they finally got to where they are now. My name is Alanna Smith & this is my Podcast "25th of Feb." Thanks for coming on this journey with me and so many others, as I try my best to destimgatise the battle of mental illness.