I Married a Narcissist. Thanks Mom.: Recent Episodes
Brandon and Jennifer
Raised by or married to a Narcissist? Been gaslighted in every discussion? Is your currently relationship toxic or covertly abusive? Know a victim of Narcissism? We discuss the trials and tribulations of being raised by a Narcissist and eventually marrying one and its effects and ramifications. We explain through real life experiences, how and why we ended up in a desperate situation, a terrible marriage, a distressing divorce, and a brutal custody battle. We share the method in which we were able to discover the life vest that kept us afloat among the rapids. If we did it, so can you. You are not alone and hopefully by sharing our experiences, you will find the courage and help that you deserve to live a healthy and fulfilled life. Join Jennifer and Brandon as they get uncomfortable so that you don't have to anymore.
It has been a while since our last podcast, but we are back with episode 14. Thank you for your patience.
We discuss current events in our life: (False CPS allegations and claims we hired someone to follow our daughter and her mom). Court orders us into co-parenting counseling (because that will solve everything!!) We read a letter from my mom to my attorneys in response to our attorney telling her not to stalk our 13 year old. We continue our story back in 2019. Nex takes a 6 week vacation. When she returns she gets fired from the supervisor and doesn't attempt to see kids for over a year. We end up in Court and Family court services several times during the pandemic while doing home schooling. We get a new Judge and the kids end up in re-unification therapy.
We apologize for the delay, but we have been in the thick of it with current court battles and false allegations, as we briefly discuss in this episode.
We do bring you up to speed with plenty of Narc material regarding my mom and my nex. We resume after the burglary and end with a mysterious death.
Thank you for listening and thank you for your patience. This stuff never ends.
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thx-mom.com
We apprise our audience of our current status in court and brief summary of last episode 11. We then dive in. The fraudulent check and police report filed on my Narcissist Ex goes nowhere. My ex, while in impatient rehab, is able to leave a couple days a week.
Supervised visits with the children continue with a few Shenanigans along the way.
My Narcissists Ex and I use a Pro-Tem Judge to settle finances and property. The Pro-Tem Judge is flawed for sure and loans my ex money to pay for her horses. We read a real life email and text from the Judge. The Judge erroneously inserts himself into custody where he doesn't have jurisdiction. Jennifer and I set him straight. We manage to get the local house for sale since the Narcissist Ex is in rehab at least 5 nights a week and vacated from the house. Everything is a struggle. I need to thoroughly clean up the house since it was being used as a halfway house. She tries to set me up with a stolen jewelry box.
Then the worst happens. Jennifer gets burglarized and violated by my Narcissist Ex. Something we could have never expected and still has its effects. We explain what was taken and the maniacal behavior these deranged toxic people have and the steps they will take to inflict harm on good people.
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In the episode, we answer some questions from our audience. We pick up the story from where I was implicated for an attempted murder. I move to a house so I can get the family dog back. My mom moves into a bedroom to "help" me during this incredibly difficult time. Nex goes missing and then pops up just to lie to the kids about the school burning down and she is on the Fire Department. I navigate the criminal, custody, and divorce cases concurrently. A few more examples of the shenanigans the Narc will employ simply to make life hard. Nex does everything she can to avoid taking responsibility of a car crash. Perjury doesn't exist in family court.
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thx-mom.com
We jump right in. We talk about the Nex letting the family dog out and threatens to surrender him to the Humane Society because I am can't have dogs in my rental. The Nex falls in the cross walk at school with my daughter. The school calls the police. I try to get an Ex Parte and it is denied by the Judge. We expain Ex Parte. The Nex shows up to school inebriated with my son in the car. I notice a pipe and she speeds off and I call the police. I file my second Ex parte after the Nex tampers with Soberlink. I am so concerned for the kids safety, but have to get Zen. In the middle of the night a Homicide Detective show up. I am framed for a shooting, and the Nex's boyfriend goes to hospital from a bullet wound to his hand. We can't make this Sh*t Up!
Thanks for listening.
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thx-mom.com
It is the holidays and we wanted to stick to our bi-monthly episode release so mixed it up and went with a greatest hits, of sorts, with text book correspondence that we have received from my dysfunctional family.
We were, of course, assaulted via correspondence this past holidays by my Nex, my mom, and my brother and share those examples. We also had to participate in a Family Court Services via Zoom while trying to enjoy holiday break with the kids. . We try to sprinkle some levity in this episode.
Hopefully, some of the texts and emails that we share give you some familiarity and comfort so you know you are not alone.
In the next episode we will get back on the chronological insane train, which happens to be my past.
Thanks for listening.
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thx-mom.com
We jump right in. I am on my 4th day of a camping trip and get a call from kids friends mom and rush home. Kids are subjected to more chaos. I am getting a glimpse of some personal healthiness and how dysfunctional home life is. I turn over my businesses to focus on family and myself. I find Al-anon for help and immerse in self care (walks, music, meditation, more walks, work outs, therapy). I get healthy enough to see the light and get the courage and clarity to get a divorce in order to get my kids and I to safety. Struggles with the ex over custody and her deviousness and conniving behavior. The kids are involved in a near fatal car crash and I am awarded full custody and going on 5 years now.
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thx-mom.com
I married and stayed in a dysfunctional marriage with a Toxic / Narcissist for 16 years. We explain to the audience how I ended up there and why I stayed in the dysfunction. We discuss the red flags I overlooked and the bad therapists along the way. We bring the audience up to speed on some of the tactics the Narcissist will use during arguments and how nothing is ever their fault. We talk about how the Narcissist is never satisfied and they enjoy raising the temperature and chaos to always keep everyone on edge. If anything is ever brought up they don't like, they double down or revert to the nuclear option of involving the kids. They used scorched earth tactics and don't care about the damage they cause. I finally take some self care and it helps me see the light so I can put the oxygen mask on.
Nex - defined as Narcissist-ex
Shannon Thomas Quote:
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In the episode we discuss self-esteem and its relevance to the victims' independence and the Narcissist's lack self-esteem as well. We speak to inappropriate loyalties to the Narcissistic parent and its hindrance on the relationship with the victims partner or spouse. Loyalties and devotion to both the parent and partner can't coexist. We bring the audience up to speed on where's Dad in all this. We highlight some of the ways you can deal with a Narcissist and the methods we tried (Gray rocking, low contact and no contact) and their results and share a real text exchange of trying to Gray Rock.
We reveal that we had to finally send a cease and desist letter to Brandon's mom.
We summarize from Dr. Kenneth Adams book - Silently Seduced.
https://www.amazon.com/Silently-Seduced-Parents-Children-Partners/dp/0757315879
We briefly talk about the Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene and the section about Narcissist.
https://www.amazon.com/Laws-Human-Nature-Robert-Greene/dp/0525428143
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thx-mom.com
Jennifer and Brandon explore what it is like to set up boundaries with a Narcissist and how the boundaries are received and mowed over. We share a email and text with the family that highlights the dysfunctional responses that are received when you are just trying to be healthy and sound. We discuss our personal journeys and difficulties in this process. We define "Hoovering" and "Gaslighting" with real life examples. We speak about Self Esteem and how the Toxic person will erode on this until you simply don't exist anymore.
Shannon Thomas
https://shannonthomas.com/
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thx-mom.com
We dive right in with another text from the main flying monkey Rob, my brother. We discuss Covert vs. Overt abuse. We speak about enmeshment and how asking a victim to "get back in line" is just as damaging as the abuse.
Your family is not a life or death sentence. You don't have to put up with it. "Sometimes you have to give up on somebody, not because you don't care. Because they don't" Jennifer Greene.
We tell a small story about my mom ending up in Hospital for breaking in a house. We read an exemplary covert abuse email from the Narcissistic mom and discuss covert and emotional incest. We tell the audience about the insightful and healing book "Silently Seduced" by Kenneth Adams that explores covert incest and emotional abuse.
Dr. Kenneth Adams - Silently Seduced
https://www.sexualhealth-addiction.com/books/silently-seduced/
Psychology Today - Written by PHD Robert Weiss - Interview with Kenneth Adams
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201510/understanding-covert-incest-interview-kenneth-adams
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thx-mom.com
We start with a text from Brandon's Dad, a well intended Flying Monkey.
We describe our experiences with flying monkeys, both the ill intended and well intended and explain the differences. We speak briefly on our knowledge of the types of Narcissists and where my mom falls on the spectrum. We also express our fondness of the book "Out of the Fog" by Dana Morningstar and its impact on our healing.
https://danamorningstar.com/
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thx-mom.com
We start this episode with "I want to meet with your therapist" email from Brandon's mom. Yes. You heard that right.... We discuss boundary setting with the Narcissist and ways they react. The Narcissist reverts to childish tantrums, making the victim feel guilty and obligated, and they commission their Flying Monkeys. We explain the "Park Incident" where we get stalked and Jennifer goes to buy ketchup to avoid a dustup. We briefly apprise the audience on our stolen car false police report.
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Check us out at :
thx-mom.com
We start off the episode with some of incredible repercussions of when when you are raised by a Narcissist and then end up marrying one. We introduce the audience to the hosts Jennifer and Brandon and a little of their background. We then dive into an epic email Brandon received from his Mother on his 46th birthday. We touch upon family triangulation and enmeshment. We highlight the importance of breaking the harmful Narcissistic pattern and breaking the cycle so not to continue to pass it to the next generation. We end the episode with an email from the Narcissist mom, aka The Subject Line Terrorist.
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