The Unfilteredd Podcast

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode?In this episode, we focus on overcoming the loss of faith through five self-reflective questions:

Who and/or what did I have faith in? (00:02:10)
Do I believe that God is sovereign? (00:06:59)
Do I believe that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior? (00:11:36)
What and why did I allow the narcissist to take away what God has given me? (00:19:24)
Do I believe evil exists? (00:29:02)

Submit a Question/Topic for This PodcastThe content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast.

More Information About the Host & Olga LeonovaThe host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours.

Abigail Loubser is a Specialist Wellness Counsellor. She has experienced personal struggles relating to silent abuse within the family, divorce, family addictions and secondary trauma associated with a crime. Abigail uses counseling techniques that are based on the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and which incorporate both strength-based interventions and narrative therapy whereby the counsellor will focus on a hopeful future for the client.

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Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode?In this episode, we focus on the treatment of Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

What are the different/most typical stages of healing NPD?
What modality of therapy or treatment do you employ when aiding individuals with NPD or high narcissistic traits?
Could you talk about the three most challenging obstacles in treating NPD or individuals with high narcissistic traits? And how do you navigate these obstacles?
Could you share your experiences regarding the “average” outcomes when treating people with NPD or high narcissistic traits and perhaps discuss the most “successful” case you’ve encountered in your career?

Submit a Question/Topic for This PodcastThe content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast.

More Information About the Host & Olga LeonovaThe host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours.

Olga Leonova is a Licensed Professional Counselor from Oregon. She has been helping her clients heal from trauma, sexual addiction, and the life impacts of other problematic sexual behaviors and choices they have made that led them to feel shame, anxiety and depression.

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Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode?In this episode, we focus on guilt and narcissistic abuse:

What does guilt-tripping mean and what is the motivation behind a narcissist’s tendency to make others feel guilty?
How can I recognize when a narcissist is trying to make me feel guilty?
How can I set boundaries with a narcissist to prevent them from making me feel guilty?
What are the long-term effects of a narcissist’s guilt-tripping behavior on their relationships?
Why do some people fall for a narcissist’s guilt-tripping tactics and blame themselves for everything?

Submit a Question/Topic for This PodcastThe content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast.

More Information About the Host & Mark ShoafThe host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours.

Mark Shoaf is a Licensed Professional Counselor from Pennsylvania. Mark’s professional focus includes working with individuals, couples, and families affected by depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder and personality disorders, stress, relationship conflicts, drug, and other psychological challenges. His goal is to bring help, hope, and direction to clients through the therapeutic process by the use an integrative approach – which means that he combines the best practice from a range of therapeutic approaches, primarily: Cognitive, Psychodynamic Therapy, Gestalt, and Rational Emotive Therapies.

Free Resources* Join Our Free Community * How to Set Boundaries with a Narcissist * 5 Strategies for Overcoming Guilt with Dr. Tanya Holthus, PsyD (Ep 107) * 10 Tactics Narcissists Use to Make You Feel Guilty

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode?In this episode, we focus on five strategies that you can use to overcome people-pleasing that narcissistic abuse causes:

Enhance your awareness and question your fears (03:23)
Slow down and focus on your breath (11:08)
Focus on your body posture (17:52)
Simplify and go slow (29:00)
Get really solid in your "why" (41:02)

Submit a Question/Topic for This PodcastThe content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast.

More Information About the Host & Hannah AldereteThe host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours.

Hannah Alderete is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor from Washington. She compassionately helps adult children of narcissistic parents who struggle with people pleasing, social anxiety, chronic self-doubt, and guilt/shame, find their authentic voice so that they can shed all the ways they’ve had to hide in order to survive.

Free Resources* Join Our Free Community

Suggested Podcast Episodes* 5 Strategies for Overcoming Fear of Being Alone with Robyn Reeves, Psychotherapist * 5 Strategies for Overcoming Powerlessness with Jessica Hass, LCSW * Deep Dive into Your Core Beliefs with Lua Weatherdon, LCSW

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on five strategies related to overcoming self-blame that narcissistic abuse causes:

Set boundaries to create space for yourself to explore the feelings and thoughts of self-blame (01:03)

Practice discernment (12:30)

Prepare yourself for grief and painful feelings such as sadness and anger, which might come while you progress in overcoming the self-blame (24:19)

Differentiating (31:25)

Reclamation of yourself (41:59)

Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Leanne Cameron The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Leanne Cameron is a Registered Counseling Therapist, and her passion is working to support individuals who feel disconnected from their authentic selves. Her self-discovery and empowerment journey led to her wanting to help others understand what their journey can mean for them and that it is never too late to improve your life. Leanne believes that once underlying emotions and beliefs are identified, we can liberate ourselves from destructive patterns and live more authentically. Free Resources

Seven-Day Journaling Program: Core Values

Join Our Free Community

Suggested Podcast Episodes

5 Strategies for Overcoming Self-Doubt by Alexandra Walsh (Counselor)
Strategies for Healing from Narcissistic Abuse with Psychotherapist Cynthia Eddings
Steps to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse with Dr. Taylor Damiani

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on six topics related to attachment styles:

What attachment styles gravitate towards each other and why (01:43)

How do attachment styles get damaged in relationships and how can someone recognize if their attachment style has been damaged in a relationship? (06:13)

What role do communication patterns play in damaging attachment styles, and how can these patterns be improved? (16:16)

How do different attachment styles impact the way we express and receive love? (23:35)

How do attachment styles impact our ability to set boundaries in relationships, and what are some ways to improve boundary-setting skills to prevent damage to attachment styles? (31:31)

How to repair an insecure attachment style (39:31)

Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Monica Amorosi The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Monica Amorosi is a licensed psychotherapist and has experience working with the full spectrum of interpersonal violence. In her initial clinical work, she provided treatment to adult perpetrators of abuse, giving her insight into what drives abusive or narcissistic behaviors. Over time, her work shifted to address complex trauma for the most vulnerable victims of abuse. She has helped people escape violent situations, establish better functioning, and work towards rebuilding a healthy life after abuse. Free Resources

Free Mini-Course: Improving Boundary-Setting Skills: Anxious Attachment Style

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Suggested Podcast Episodes

Nurturing Trust, Communication, and Emotional Safety in Relationships with Dr. Taylor Palmitier
Building Healthy Relationships Post-Narcissistic Abuse: Boundaries, Accountability, and Much More with Dr. Yun Chen

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on the J.A.D.E technique and how to use it in interactions with narcissists. Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Ellen Biros The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Ellen Biros is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in the assessment and treatment of individuals with personality disorders, substance abuse issues, and emotional regulation problems. She is the author of “Recovering from Narcissistic Mothers: A Daughter’s Workbook.” Ellen has spent over 15 years helping clients identify and recover from emotional abuse and manipulation. She is a national continuing education speaker and has authored a variety of continuing education seminars and webinars. Ellen is also the author of multiple psychotherapeutic articles. Suggested Readings

How to Stop a Narcissist from Gaslighting You (3 Steps)

How to Live With a Narcissist When You Can’t Leave

Suggested Podcast Episodes

Overcoming Emotional Dysregulation, Relational Trauma, and the Addictive Component of a Trauma Bond with LCSW Ellen Biros
Never Be Manipulated Again: Rewriting History, Countering, Lying, Social Circle Manipulation, Pseudomutuality with Dr. Taylor Damiani

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on four topics related to healing from narcissistic abuse:

How to cultivate patience in yourself when building healthy relationships (01:24)

How to recognize when you're becoming impatient (06:52)

How to develop empathy skills in a healthy way, and red flags of falling back into old patterns of being overly empathetic to the point of neglecting your own needs (15:13)

How to work through the negative emotions and beliefs that may be hindering your ability to feel and express gratitude, and practical ways to incorporate gratitude into your daily life (32:20)

Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Jane Ajaya The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Jane Ajaya is a clinical social worker and has worked with individuals, families and couples in private practice. She helps relieve suffering with individualized and comprehensive care including all aspects of human being, emotional, interpersonal, physical and spiritual. Ms Ajaya teaches skills to advance personal freedom and growth, such as mindfulness and emotional and nervous system regulation. Suggested Podcast Episodes

Nurturing Trust, Communication, and Emotional Safety in Relationships with Dr. Taylor Palmitier
Cultivating Patience and Mutual Growth in Healthy Relationships with Jane Ajaya (LCSW)

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on five topics related to building healthy relationships:

How to practice patience and empathy when you are not understanding or agreeing with the other person's perspective (01:45)

How to recognize and appreciate small progress in your relationship, rather than focusing on what needs to be fixed (06:50)

How to find a balance when one partner or family member is naturally more patient than the other (23:37)

How to build a culture of patience and understanding in the relationship, rather than getting caught up in blame or anger (30:40)

How to balance being patient with each other's flaws with holding each other accountable (44:51)

Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Jane Ajaya The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Jane Ajaya is a clinical social worker and has worked with individuals, families and couples in private practice. She helps relieve suffering with individualized and comprehensive care including all aspects of human being, emotional, interpersonal, physical and spiritual. Ms Ajaya teaches skills to advance personal freedom and growth, such as mindfulness and emotional and nervous system regulation. Suggested Podcast Episodes

Nurturing Trust, Communication, and Emotional Safety in Relationships with Dr. Taylor Palmitier
Building Healthy Relationships Post-Narcissistic Abuse: Boundaries, Accountability, and Much More with Dr. Yun Chen
Building Healthy Relationships after Narcissistic Abuse with Elizabeth Miller (Psychotherapist)

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on 5 topics related to narcissism:

The connection between narcissism and dopamine (01:33)

Co-morbidities in narcissists, such as gambling and addiction (14:48)

How the link between narcissism and dopamine explains the provocative behavior of narcissists (20:45)

The genetic profile of a narcissist (30:05)

The differences between narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths (38:30)

Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Ann Betz The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Ann Betz co-founded BEabove Leadership and is an international speaker and trainer on the intersection of neuroscience, coaching, and human transformation. Ann speaks internationally on neuroscience, leadership, and coaching, and she excels at making the complexities of the brain come to life with depth, humor, and simplicity. Suggested Podcast Episodes 86. Understanding Narcissistic Abuse from the Neuroscientific Perspective with Ann Betz

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on six topics related to healthy relationships:

How to build healthy conflict resolution skills in your relationships (01:32)

How to know when conflict is becoming unhealthy or manipulative (08:11)

How to build honesty in your relationships (14:48)

Warning signs of someone being dishonest or manipulative (21:20)

How to acknowledge and accept differences in others without feeling triggered or defensive (27:29)

How to cultivate empathy and open-mindedness, and navigate disagreements or conflicts in a healthy and respectful way (37:58)

Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Elizabeth Miller The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Elizabeth Miller is a psychotherapist certified in treating personality disorders, specializing in treating narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). She also works with individuals who are or have been in a relationship with someone with NPD. In addition, she has worked with numerous couples and families to navigate the complicated process of divorce, parenting plans, and property division. Resources The Mindful Guide to Conflict Resolution: How to Thoughtfully Handle Difficult Situations, Conversations, and Personalities

Suggested Podcast Episodes

Nurturing Trust, Communication, and Emotional Safety in Relationships with Dr. Taylor Palmitier
Building Healthy Relationships Post-Narcissistic Abuse: Boundaries, Accountability, and Much More with Dr. Yun Chen

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on three topics related to narcissistic abuse:

What do narcissists want? (01:23)

Why do we give them what they want? (11:10)

Why is it so unlikely that a narcissist will change? (26:55)

Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Elizabeth Miller The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Elizabeth Miller is a psychotherapist certified in treating personality disorders, specializing in treating narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). She also works with individuals who are or have been in a relationship with someone with NPD. In addition, she has worked with numerous couples and families to navigate the complicated process of divorce, parenting plans, and property division. Suggested Readings

What Is Narcissistic Supply and Why Do They Need It So Badly?

Why Do Narcissists Feel Empty Inside?

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on 5 topics related to narcissistic abuse:

What happens in the brain when we experience abuse? You know, when someone physically hurts you, you might get a broken arm, a bruise… does something happen in the brain when somebody emotionally/psychologically abuses you? (01:43)

What are your thoughts on EMDR? Can it heal memories of abuse? Can you explain EMDR and its potential effectiveness from the neuroscience perspective? (16:15)

Can you speak about trauma bonds, how they form, and how to break them from the perspective of neuroscience? Are there some practical things that we can do to help our brains to break these powerful bonds? (23:22)

I am unable to carry out tasks I could have done before (like multitasking 8 things at once and enjoying it). I find myself staring at something I used to be able to do without thinking, it’s like I have a major brain fog. Can you explain if the abuse and manipulation that I went through is to blame for this and if yes, how? What has happened to my brain and how can I recover it? (38:42)

What is your opinion on “inherited family trauma.” Is there evidence of trauma imprinting its effects on the brains of future generations? If you believe there is evidence of this, what is the importance of dealing not only with your own personal trauma but also processing the trauma your parents and grandparents experienced and how does this look in practice? How do you process your parents and grandparents' trauma? (45:52)

Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Ann Betz The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Ann Betz co-founded BEabove Leadership and is an international speaker and trainer on the intersection of neuroscience, coaching, and human transformation. Ann speaks internationally on neuroscience, leadership, and coaching, and she excels at making the complexities of the brain come to life with depth, humor, and simplicity. Suggested Readings How to Break a Trauma Bond with a Narcissist in 11 Steps

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on five strategies for overcoming self-doubt:

Build a healthy support network (03:38)

Practice reaffirming your own voice of who you are (11:03)

Recognize and understand the impact of self-doubt (18:30)

Separate confidence from narcissism (26:07)

Get to know you (31:30)

Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Alexandra Walsh The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Alexandra Walsh is a licensed mental health counselor. She is the owner of the mental health group practice, The M.A.D. Therapy and creator of the mental health hub, The M.A.D. Beyond. She is mad about providing therapy to survivors of abuse. She has specialized training and experience working with people in narcissistic or pathological love relationships, navigating a relationship with a personality-disordered person, and healing from emotional, psychological, and narcissistic abuse. Free Downloadable Resources

The Affirmation Exercise for Overcoming Self-Doubt

Overcoming the Self-Doubt Bundle with Therapist Insights

Other Resources

Narcissistic Family Dynamics: Healing Family Wounds & Turning Pain Into Power (Ecourse) by Alexandra Walsh Suggested Readings 10 Ways to Trust Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse Suggested Podcast Episodes

Steps to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse with Dr. Taylor Damiani
Strategies for Healing from Narcissistic Abuse with Psychotherapist Cynthia Eddings

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? We've finally reached Step 10! Today we will focus on breadcrumbing and hoovering. Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Lucianne Gerrard The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Lucianne Gerrard is a Registered Counselor and Narcissistic Abuse Specialist. With her foundation of personal experience of narcissistic abuse in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future. Free Downloadable Resources

Releasing Intermittent Reinforcement & Mixed Messages (PDF)

Reassess Your Relationship and Discover Your Path Forward (PDF)

'How to Emotionally Detach from the Narcissist' Series Episodes

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Part Two of Step 1

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Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? Today's discussion will focus on observing the behaviors of a narcissist from a distance. Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Lucianne Gerrard The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Lucianne Gerrard is a Registered Counselor and Narcissistic Abuse Specialist. With her foundation of personal experience of narcissistic abuse in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future. 'How to Emotionally Detach from the Narcissist' Series Episodes

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Part Two of Step 1

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Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, Lucianne will guide us through the power games and strategies narcissists often utilize to dominate relationship dynamics. Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Lucianne Gerrard The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Lucianne Gerrard is a Registered Counselor and Narcissistic Abuse Specialist. With her foundation of personal experience of narcissistic abuse in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future. 'How to Emotionally Detach from the Narcissist' Series Episodes

Step 1

Part Two of Step 1

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Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? Today we'll expose the hooks narcissistic individuals use to pull us back into relationships and interactions with them for their own benefit. Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Lucianne Gerrard The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Lucianne Gerrard is a Registered Counselor and Narcissistic Abuse Specialist. With her foundation of personal experience of narcissistic abuse in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future. 'How to Emotionally Detach from the Narcissist' Series Episodes

Step 1

Part Two of Step 1

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Step 4

Step 5

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Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we dive into the all-important subject of setting boundaries. Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Lucianne Gerrard The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Lucianne Gerrard is a Registered Counselor and Narcissistic Abuse Specialist. With her foundation of personal experience of narcissistic abuse in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future. Free Downloadable Resources 7 Powerful Exercises That Can Help You Maintain the Boundaries That You Set With the Narcissist (PDF)

'How to Emotionally Detach from the Narcissist' Series Episodes

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Part Two of Step 1

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Suggested Resources

Boundaries After a Pathological Relationship by Adelyn Birch

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we're zeroing in on rebuilding ourselves, whether we're currently experiencing narcissistic abuse or recovering from it. Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Lucianne Gerrard The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Lucianne Gerrard is a Registered Counselor and Narcissistic Abuse Specialist. With her foundation of personal experience of narcissistic abuse in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future. 'How to Emotionally Detach from the Narcissist' Series Episodes

Step 1

Part Two of Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Step 4

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on radically accepting that we cannot change the narcissistic individual. Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Lucianne Gerrard The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Lucianne Gerrard is a Registered Counselor and Narcissistic Abuse Specialist. With her foundation of personal experience of narcissistic abuse in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future. 'How to Emotionally Detach from the Narcissist' Series Episodes

Step 1

Part Two of Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on the 'Drama Triangle' and how it manifests in interactions with a narcissistic individual. Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Lucianne Gerrard The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Lucianne Gerrard is a Registered Counselor and Narcissistic Abuse Specialist. With her foundation of personal experience of narcissistic abuse in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future. 'How to Emotionally Detach from the Narcissist' Series Episodes

Step 1

Part Two of Step 1

Step 2

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on recognizing the signs of a narcissist. In Step 1 of this series, we focused on understanding what we seek in relationships with narcissists and how we can fulfill these needs ourselves. Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Lucianne Gerrard The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Lucianne Gerrard is a Registered Counselor and Narcissistic Abuse Specialist. With her foundation of personal experience of narcissistic abuse in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future. Free Downloadable Resources

How to Spot a Narcissist: Insights from Therapists

How to Tell if You Are Experiencing Narcissistic Abuse

Suggested Podcast Episodes

How to Emotionally Detach From the Narcissist Step 1
How to Emotionally Detach From the Narcissist Part Two of Step 1
An Exploration of Narcissistic Traits: Examples of Entitlement, Envy, Impulsivity, and More with Psychotherapist Cynthia Eddings
An Exploration of Narcissistic Traits: Examples of Superficial Charm, Intense Mood Swings, and More with Psychotherapist Cynthia Eddings

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on three topics related to healing from narcissistic abuse:

How to overcome the guilt that narcissistic abuse creates (01:30)

How to overcome the self-blame that narcissistic abuse creates (18:51)

How to overcome the anxiety that narcissistic abuse creates (25:40)

How to overcome the low self-esteem that narcissistic abuse creates (46:15)

How to overcome the confusion that narcissistic abuse creates (01:00:29)

How to overcome the rumination that narcissistic abuse creates (01:11:41)

Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Cynthia Eddings The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Cynthia Eddings is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery. She is the author of ‘The Narcissism Recovery Journal: Prompts and Practices for Healing from Emotional Abuse’ and has been featured in publications including The Zoe Report and Woman’s World. Cynthia’s area of expertise stems from personal experiences. She understands the dynamics of narcissistic abuse from the perspective of having parents with high narcissistic traits and falling into the same patterns in adulthood. She enjoys working with clients who want to heal from narcissistic abuse, and she does so by helping them uncover their authentic selves. Free Downloadable Resources Creating a Simple and Detailed Self-Care Routine

Suggested Readings

10 Ways to Build Self-Esteem After Narcissistic Abuse

10 Ways to Trust Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse

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What Are We Discussing In This Episode? In this episode, we focus on seven narcissistic traits:

Intense Mood Swings

Lack of Self-Awareness

Superficial Charm

Tendency to Project

Preoccupation with Appearances

Disregard for rules/social norms

Difficulty forming and maintaining relationships

Submit a Question/Topic for This Podcast The content for this podcast comes from our amazing community members. If you want to submit a question/topic for the podcast, please click here to join our free healing community. Once you’ve joined, you will see the thread to submit a question/topic for this podcast. More Information About the Host & Cynthia Eddings The host, Juliana Akin, is a co-founder of Unfilteredd, a lawyer, and a survivor of narcissistic abuse. She creates content about narcissism and narcissistic abuse to share her personal experiences with healing because she hopes that by sharing her journey, she can help you navigate yours. Cynthia Eddings is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery. She is the author of ‘The Narcissism Recovery Journal: Prompts and Practices for Healing from Emotional Abuse’ and has been featured in publications including The Zoe Report and Woman’s World. Cynthia’s area of expertise stems from personal experiences. She understands the dynamics of narcissistic abuse from the perspective of having parents with high narcissistic traits and falling into the same patterns in adulthood. She enjoys working with clients who want to heal from narcissistic abuse, and she does so by helping them uncover their authentic selves. Suggested Readings

How Do You Know When a Narcissist Is Projecting?

8 Examples of Narcissistic Projection

How Do Narcissists Act in Public?

Is It Possible to Have a Healthy Relationship With a Narcissist?

Suggested Podcast Episodes 59. An Exploration of Narcissistic Traits: Examples of Entitlement, Envy, Impulsivity, and More with Psychotherapist Cynthia Eddings

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In this episode we're going to talk about what happens after being in a tough relationship with someone who thinks mostly about themselves. We'll chat about why we might still feel drawn to people who act like this, why our bodies can start feeling sick from the stress, and how we can start to feel better and heal. Plus, we'll give some ideas about how to handle it when these folks try to trick others with their stories. Meet Gina Polesetsky Gina Polesetsky is an LMFT in California with a background in trauma-informed care including specialties in EMDR, Gottman Couples Therapy, and ACT. Much of her practice is focused on working with trauma processing and skills building through, and in recovery from, narcissistic, interpersonal, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. Suggested Resources The "Cycle of Violence" and "Tools of Manipulation" Resource Pack

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In this episode, we're discussing life after narcissistic abuse—how to ensure mutual compromise, hold others accountable, and maintain independence in new relationships. We'll also explore strategies for healthy conflict resolution and discerning honesty. Meet Dr. Yun Chen Dr. Yun Chen is a licensed clinical psychologist and he specializes in the treatment of anxiety, depression, chronic pain, trauma, OCD, and related disorders. He also has an extensive experience working with couples. He practices cognitive behavioral couple therapy (CBCT) and emotionally focused therapy (EFT) to promote relationship strength for couples whose relationships are under stress. Suggested Podcast Episodes: 65. Nurturing Trust, Communication, and Emotional Safety in Relationships with Dr. Taylor Palmitier

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In this episode we'll explore various ways survivors of narcissistic abuse can build and maintain healthier relationships, focusing on trust, communication, shared interests, and emotional respect. Meet Dr. Taylor Palmitier Dr. Palmitier is a licensed clinical psychologist. She is the founder and owner of Southern Palm Psychology & Wellness, a psychology and wellness practice that provides therapy services to children, adolescents, and adults. Dr. Palmitier specializes in anxiety and mood disorders, parenting and pediatric psychology, trauma related disorders, relational stress, and obsessive compulsive disorder. Suggested Resources

Better Boundaries Workbook by Sharon Martin

Healing from Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas

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This is part three of the mini series “Unpacking the Challenges of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist”. This episode further unravels the trials of co-parenting with a narcissist, focusing on their disregard for boundaries, excessive micromanagement, use of parenting as a competition, tendencies to sabotage, deflect criticism, create enmeshed relationships, and make impulsive choices. Do you have a question that you want answered on the podcast? Are you interested coming to the show as a guest? Do you want to leave feedback? Reach us at podcast@unfilteredd.net Meet Stephanie Newberg Stephanie Newberg, is a licensed psychotherapist, working with individuals, couples and families. She has been in practice for more than 25 years specializing in family and couples therapy, bullying, grief and loss, parenting support and the implications of divorce on children and families. In addition, Stephanie is a trained family and divorce mediator/ co-parent counselor and has received intensive training in sand tray play therapy for adolescents and children. Suggested Podcast Episodes

Unpacking the Challenges of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist with Stephanie Newberg Part II
Unpacking the Challenges of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist with Stephanie Newberg Part I

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This is part two of the mini series “Unpacking the Challenges of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist”. In this episode, we further unravel the challenges of co-parenting with a narcissist, touching on the heavy emotional toll, manipulation through triangulation, and attempts at parental alienation. We'll explore the hurdles their uncooperative nature presents, the intimidation they may wield, and the double standards they often live by. Do you have a question that you want answered on the podcast? Are you interested coming to the show as a guest? Do you want to leave feedback? Reach us at podcast@unfilteredd.net Meet Stephanie Newberg Stephanie Newberg, is a licensed psychotherapist, working with individuals, couples and families. She has been in practice for more than 25 years specializing in family and couples therapy, bullying, grief and loss, parenting support and the implications of divorce on children and families. In addition, Stephanie is a trained family and divorce mediator/ co-parent counselor and has received intensive training in sand tray play therapy for adolescents and children. Suggested Podcast Episodes

Unpacking the Challenges of Co-Parenting with a Narcissist with Stephanie Newberg Part I
Discussion About Parental Alienation With Sarah Finch

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In this episode we delve into the complexities of co-parenting with a narcissistic individual. From irresponsibility and maintaining public image, to power struggles and inconsistent parenting, and much more, we explore the different challenges one might face when co-parenting with a narcissist. Do you have a question that you want answered on the podcast? Are you interested coming to the show as a guest? Do you want to leave feedback? Reach us at podcast@unfilteredd.net Meet Stephanie Newberg Stephanie Newberg, is a licensed psychotherapist, working with individuals, couples and families. She has been in practice for more than 25 years specializing in family and couples therapy, bullying, grief and loss, parenting support and the implications of divorce on children and families. In addition, Stephanie is a trained family and divorce mediator/ co-parent counselor and has received intensive training in sand tray play therapy for adolescents and children. Suggested Readings

How to Tell If You’re Co-parenting With a Narcissist

Why Is Co-parenting With a Narcissist So Hard?

What Is It Like to Co-parent With a Narcissist?

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In this episode we focus on three topics related to narcissistic abuse: managing emotional dysregulation (01:33), dealing with complex relational trauma (24:43), and overcoming the addictive component of trauma bonds (36:32). Do you have a question that you want answered on the podcast? Are you interested coming to the show as a guest? Do you want to leave feedback? Reach us at podcast@unfilteredd.net Meet Ellen Biros Ellen Biros is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in the assessment and treatment of individuals with personality disorders, substance abuse issues, and emotional regulation problems. She is the author of “Recovering from Narcissistic Mothers: A Daughter’s Workbook.” Ellen has spent over 15 years helping clients identify and recover from emotional abuse and manipulation. She is a national continuing education speaker and has authored a variety of continuing education seminars and webinars. Ellen is also the author of multiple psychotherapeutic articles. Free Downloadable Resources:

Creating a Simple and Detailed Self-Care Routine (PDF)

Releasing Intermittent Reinforcement & Mixed Messages (PDF)

Suggested Readings: Why Do Trauma Bonds Feel Like an Addiction?

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In this episode we focus on the narcissistic abuse cycle. We define it, break down its various stages, and provide detailed examples of each stage. Do you have a question that you want answered on the podcast? Are you interested coming to the show as a guest? Do you want to leave feedback? Reach us at podcast@unfilteredd.net Meet Dr. Sara Spowart Dr. Sara Spowart is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and she helps individuals to create the life of their dreams and to be strong and resilient in the face of any obstacle. She specializes in a range of issues from supporting children, couples and families who are struggling, to helping victims of violence, abuse and trauma. Free Downloadable Resources The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle Tracking Form (PDF)

Suggested Readings: The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle: A Complete Guide to Safety

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In this episode, our goal is to enhance your understanding and recognition of narcissistic traits. We will delve into:

Grandiosity (01:44)

Grandiose Fantasies (06:42)

Lack of Empathy (11:44)

Need for Admiration (18:08)

Sense of Entitlement (20:59)

Lack of Accountability (26:38)

Difficulty with Criticism (36:53)

Need For Control (40:36)

Lack of Boundaries (46:18)

Intense Envy (54:33)

Impulsivity (57:15)

Exploitive/Manipulative Behavior (01:00:25)

Do you have a question that you want answered on the podcast? Are you interested coming to the show as a guest? Do you want to leave feedback? Reach us at podcast@unfilteredd.net Meet Cynthia Eddings Cynthia Eddings is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery. She is the author of ‘The Narcissism Recovery Journal: Prompts and Practices for Healing from Emotional Abuse’ and has been featured in publications including The Zoe Report and Woman’s World. Cynthia’s area of expertise stems from personal experiences. She understands the dynamics of narcissistic abuse from the perspective of having parents with high narcissistic traits and falling into the same patterns in adulthood. She enjoys working with clients who want to heal from narcissistic abuse, and she does so by helping them uncover their authentic selves. Suggested Readings:

Why Do Narcissists Get So Jealous?

Why Do Narcissists Want to be Admired and Praised?

8 Ways Narcissists React When They Can’t Control You

Why Do Narcissists Disrespect Boundaries?

How Do Narcissists Manipulate You?

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In this episode, you will learn how to protect yourself from the following manipulation tactics. Rewriting History (02:26) When someone rewrites how events occurred to their advantage it is called rewriting history and it is a form of gaslighting.

Countering (13:16) When someone argues against almost anything you say.

Lying (20:46) When someone tells you something that isn't true or purposefully omits true information, it is called lying and it is a form of gaslighting.

Social Circle Manipulation (28:30) When someone manipulates the people you know, controlling your social circle.

Pseudomutuality (36:15) When problems are solved by simply ignoring them.

Do you have a question that you want answered on the podcast? Are you interested coming to the show as a guest? Do you want to leave feedback? Reach us at podcast@unfilteredd.net Meet Dr. Taylor Damiani Dr. Taylor is a coach and licensed psychologist based in California. She helps adult children of narcissistic parents stop walking on eggshells and step into their power and purpose. Her clients are acutely perceptive of others’ needs, but struggle to put themselves first. Dr. Taylor Damiani helps them come home to themselves and grow in self-love, acceptance and worth. Suggested Readings:

How Can You Tell When a Narcissist Is Lying?

Why Do Narcissists Lie?

Why Do Narcissists Believe Their Own Lies?

Why Do Narcissists Gaslight?

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In this episode, we are going to tackle some tough questions about healing from abusive relationships. In this episode, we will provide you with actionable strategies to manage depression, rebuild self-esteem, break the cycle of self-devaluation, and effectively grieve as a crucial part of the healing process. Do you have a question that you want answered on the podcast? Are you interested coming to the show as a guest? Do you want to leave feedback? Reach us at podcast@unfilteredd.net Meet Helodia Dastine Helodia Dastine is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and her extensive experience in the field, allows her to offer clients a deeper understanding of themselves and their problems, practical solutions that last, and the skills to master their own life. Suggested Readings:

10 Ways to Build Self-Esteem After Narcissistic Abuse

10 Ways to Love Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse

10 Ways to Grow as a Person After Narcissistic Abuse

10 Ways to Trust Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse

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In this episode Lucianne Gerrard, a registered counsellor and narcissistic abuse specialist will answer the following seven questions from our community:

What are some of the most important things that you should do to support someone who is experiencing narcissistic abuse?

Do narcissists withhold sex, praise, or any other forms of intimacy on purpose or is it something that they cannot control/something instinctual for them?

Can you give some examples of intimacy avoidance? I am not sure if I am experiencing it so I would like some examples of it.

How do narcissists react when someone triggers their feelings of shame?

I am working in a narcissistic environment and I feel like I have enabled a lot of the abuse going on. I am scared that if I stand up to my boss, I’ll lose my job. Can you give me 5-10 things that I should know about narcissism so I can keep my job and protect my colleagues? Of course, speaking to HR is on the top of my list, but narcissists are slippery so I don’t want to approach this the wrong way.

Raised by a strict, narcissistic mother, Lucianne Gerrard was trained to always put her mother first, then everyone else second, and never think about herself or her own needs (because that was selfish).

With her foundation of personal experience of NA (narcissistic abuse) in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future.

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In this episode Carolanne Marcantonio, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Sex Therapist, will answer five questions from our community:

What are the most important boundaries you should set in a romantic relationship? I have been in an abusive relationship in the past and I don’t want to make the same mistakes.

How do you create healthy boundaries in a romantic relationship? I struggle standing up for myself.

I have been dating this guy for a month now. I have set my own boundaries but how can I figure out his boundaries? I ask because I think knowing your partner's boundaries is a really good way to figure out if they are someone you can trust or not.

I don’t want to rush into a relationship but I feel a strong connection with this woman. What are some healthy forms of intimacy I can use so I don’t make her think that I don’t want her.

What are some of the warning signs to look out for in the bedroom? Some abusers hide their dark side until they got you hooked.

Carolanne Marcantonio LCSW, SIFI, CST is the co-creator of the sex therapy association Wise Therapy located in New York City. Wise Therapy is a LGBTQIA+, poly and kink affirmative Sex Therapy association. Carolanne provides therapy to couples individuals and polycules. She is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (CST). Carolanneearned her Master's degree in Clinical Social Work from the Silberman School of Social Work at Hunter College in Manhattan.

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In this episode Dr. Karen Kuemerle-Pinillos, a PhD Level Clinician and Licensed Clinical Social Worker, will answer six questions from our community:

I have been in a narcissistic relationship for 4 years. The gaslighting has just been too much for me. I feel helpless, powerless, and I have been indecisive lately because of self-doubt. How can I overcome/heal from this?

What are the signs that someone is gaslighting you? I have so much self-doubt about the stuff that I am going through and I am having a hard time separating the lies/manipulation from reality.

Why do narcissists bait you? Do they get some sort of satisfaction out of it or is it all just one big manipulation.

How should I respond to a baiting narcissist?

What are some of the most important things that you should do to support someone who is experiencing narcissistic abuse?

What are some of the most important boundaries that you should set with a narcissist? I know that narcissists don’t respect boundaries so I am looking for boundaries that I can set with myself. For example, don’t believe the future faking.

Dr. Karen Kuemerle-Pinillos is a bilingual-bicultural, Spanish-English, PhD Level Clinician, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), researcher, advocate, and coach. She has had the privilege to be in the mental health field for 21 years serving individuals, couples, and families in different settings such as inpatient treatment, intensive outpatient substance abuse treatment, intensive at home family therapy, outpatient individual, and couples therapy. She is currently serving individuals, couples, and families in her private practice.

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In this podcast episode Sarah Finch, an integrative counsellor and narcissistic abuse specialist, will answer the following questions about narcissistic mothers:

What Do Narcissistic Mothers Do to Their Children?

Do Narcissistic Mothers Know What They Are Doing?

How Should You Treat a Narcissistic Mother?

How Do You Emotionally Detach from Your Narcissistic Mother?

How Do You Recover from a Narcissistic Mother?

Juliana Akin is going to share her personal experienced about each of the questions after Sarah's professional insight and knowledge.

Sarah has experience working with women who have suffered trauma, addiction, domestic abuse and has a good understanding of the dynamic between the narcissist and the co-dependent in relationships.

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In this episode Lucianne Gerrard, a registered counsellor and narcissistic abuse specialist will answer the following seven questions from our community:

I have been rejecting her hoovering for months and she is getting so angry about it. I don’t understand why she can’t see why I am rejecting her. She abused me for years, ruined my life. How does she still feel like she has a right to be in my life?

I’m having a hard time figuring out the difference between gaslighting and when someone is just disagreeing with me. How can I tell the difference between the two? I don’t want to write people off who don’t deserve it.

What are 5-10 tips that you have that can help me safely detach myself emotionally from the narcissist in my life?

Can you please give me a few examples of scapegoating in a family setting? I am not sure if I am the family scapegoat or not.

I have been struggling with self-doubt my entire life. When the narcissist in my life starts to use projection, how can I spot it? How can I stop gaslighting myself into believing their projections?

Raised by a strict, narcissistic mother, Lucianne Gerrard was trained to always put her mother first, then everyone else second, and never think about herself or her own needs (because that was selfish).

With her foundation of personal experience of NA (narcissistic abuse) in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future.

Podcast Music: Creative Commons Music by Jason Shaw on Audionautix.com

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In this episode Natalie Feinblatt, a licensed clinical psychologist, will answer five questions from our community:

How do narcissists use mirroring on their external environment to build their identity and construct a positive self-perception?

I am taking care of my narcissistic father who is 70. He is becoming less and less independent everyday and it is really bothering him. He gets so angry and abusive when anyone offers to do something for him. Why is his independence so important? Is there a narcissistic trait to blame for this?

Every time my phone rings, I am terrified that it is the ex calling to hoover me back into the relationship. I feel so powerless when he starts speaking nice to me. Why does hoovering work? I know he is abusive, why do I still fall for his tricks?

I can’t stop forgiving my father for the abuse he puts me through. I think it is called the honeymoon phase but after every time he abuses me, he takes me out to eat, pays my rent, tells me he loves me, etc. How can I escape this cycle of trauma?

Why do narcissists gaslight? Why is it so important for them to control our reality?

Natalie's main specialties are helping people heal from addictions and trauma. A subset of her trauma work is assisting those who have been in cults, high demand groups, abusive churches, and other situations involving coercive control and/or narcissistic abuse. Dr. Feinblatt can use EMDR and/or Brainspotting in her trauma work with clients.

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In this episode Dennaé Dumas, a Licensed Master Social Worker, will answer five questions from our Community:

How do you learn to trust yourself again after being in a toxic relationship?

I don’t want to ruin my marriage but my past experience with abuse is haunting me. How do I keep this healthy relationship alive while healing from a toxic one?

Why does being in a healthy relationship after a toxic one feel so hard? Are my expectations corrupted?

I know I made the right decision by leaving. She was narcissistic and our relationship was toxic for so long. But I am just curious, can toxic relationships ever work?

What are some signs that a relationship is broken beyond repair?

Dennaé Dumas holds both a master’s degree in Clinical Social Work and a Master of Business Administration from Columbia University. She specializes in sex and couples’ psychotherapy.

Dennaé is a culturally competent, trauma-informed psychotherapist who believes in a collaborative therapeutic relationship. She works with individuals, couples, and multi-partner relationships using a holistic approach to psychological and emotional wellness. Her clinical methods pull from many treatment modalities including CBT, DBT, IFS, EFT, IMAGO, Gottman Method, mindfulness, trauma-informed practices, somatic treatments, and psychodynamic psychotherapy to offer the best care possible for her clients.

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In this episode Dr. Karen Kuemerle-Pinillos, a PhD Level Clinician and Licensed Clinical Social Worker, will answer five questions from our Community:

Is it possible for a narcissist to be trauma bonded to a narcissist. If so, are those types of trauma bonds different from the trauma bond a non-narcissistic person develops for his/her abuser? I ask because my narcissistic brother seems to be trauma bonded to our narcissistic father. He grew up as the golden child and has always sought out our father’s approval despite the abuse he is experiencing.

Throughout my childhood my narcissistic mother had probably 20-30 boyfriends who were always "the one". A few months in she would find a reason to cut ties with them and then move on to the next partner almost immediately. How are narcissists able to move on so quickly and why do they do it?

I believe that there are many healthy relationships that have an intense start that could be considered love bombing. Obviously, those days don’t last forever, but they don’t end in the same way that the love bombing phase in narcissistic relationships do. How does the love bombing phase end in a narcissistic relationship? What are some of the signs of forthcoming abuse that we can watch out for?

I was in a physically abusive relationship for nine years but I can’t figure out exactly when the abuse went from psychological to physical. What are some signs that I could have looked out for that would have helped me see that the abuse was becoming more and more violent?

I have been the scapegoat in my family for my entire life. I have been able to go Low Contact for the past 3 years and it has helped a lot but I struggle with self-esteem issues every day. I think it would help if I could just understand WHY I was the scapegoat. Why did they choose me to be their emotional punching bag?

Dr. Karen Kuemerle-Pinillos is a bilingual-bicultural, Spanish-English, PhD Level Clinician, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), researcher, advocate, and coach. She has had the privilege to be in the mental health field for 21 years serving individuals, couples, and families in different settings such as inpatient treatment, intensive outpatient substance abuse treatment, intensive at home family therapy, outpatient individual, and couples therapy. She is currently serving individuals, couples, and families in her private practice.

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In this episode Conor Deeney, psychotherapist, trainer, and consultant, will answer four questions from our community:

My biggest struggle is dealing with hoovering. Every time it happens it triggers the positive memories that I have with the narcissist and my brain begins to justify all of the abuse. Besides going no contact, what can I do to stop justifying the abuse and falling for the hoovering attempts?

I am in the process of breaking my trauma bond. What are 5-10 signs that I can look out for that indicate that the trauma bond has been broken?

Can you please give me a really detailed example of mirroring? I feel like the narcissist in my life is just copying my identity but I am not sure.

One of the ways that my narcissistic wife dominates me is by starting an argument and blocking me before I can get my point across. It makes me go crazy every time and I am tired of her having so much control over me. What are some ways that I can validate myself in those situations so I don't fall for her baiting tactics?

Conor is a senior psychotherapist specializing in trauma and attachment at Psyche Therapy Centre, and a trainer and consultant at the Attachment and Trauma Treatment Centre for Healing (ATTCH).

Conor is a passionate person who is focused on helping people heal from the negative experiences in life, and has vast experience within the helping profession in a variety of roles across the U.K. and Canada.

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In this episode Dr. Erin will answer four questions from our community:

I am going to be getting a restraining order on my narcissistic ex. What are five things that I should know about narcissistic behavior to prepare myself for this?

When the narcissist blocks me, it triggers my fears of abandonment and I feel like I am going crazy. What are a few things that I can do to overcome this fear that I have?

I have been struggling to find a therapist who understands narcissistic abuse. What are some questions I can ask a therapist in the initial meeting to figure out if it is going to be a good fit for me?

I want to distance myself from my narcissistic mother but guilt and shame are holding me back. I was the “helper child” for most of my life so I feel responsible for her well-being but she is destroying my physical and mental health. How can I overcome these feelings and move forward in life?

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In this episode, Nicki Paull, an Australian Professional Counsellor and Therapist with expertise in Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome recovery, will answer five questions from our Community:

I am three weeks away from going No Contact with my abuser. I can't use the Gray Rock Method because it triggers narcissistic rage. A close friend of mine told me that she provides her abuser with small amounts of admiration to reduce the amount of abuse she is experiencing and told me it has worked. Are there any other sneaky techniques like this that I can try?

I fall for the love bombing and honeymoon phase every single time. What are some boundaries that I can set with myself to protect me from this powerful form of manipulation?

I am trying to break my trauma bond right now. What are some of the best ways that I can take care of my mental and physical health during this tough period in my life?

How does a narcissist’s behavior change as they get older and less mobile? Do they get more abusive or do they start to become more empathic?

What are some of the signs that I can look out for that indicate my abuser's behavior is getting more violent? I know it might sound like a silly question but when I am in the thick of it, I can't tell, it is all a blur.

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In this episode, Karina Ramdath, a Registered Social Worker and Therapist, will answer six questions from our Community:

How can we protect ourselves from gaslighting? I know that we can’t control the narcissist’s behavior, but how can we stop the gaslighting from taking control of our minds?How do I create a safety plan? What are the most important things that I need to take into consideration?What do I need to do to get closure from my ex narcissist? I don’t mean getting closure from them. I just mean getting closure from the situation, moving on, and healing.My biggest weakness is rumination. I am constantly ruminating about my narcissistic ex. Why does rumination occur and how can I stop it from happening?I am battling flying monkeys right now and it is destroying my mental health. What are some things that I should do to protect myself from them and why?Why do narcissists use projection? I can’t bring myself to accept that he honestly believes that I am the one who was cheating, or I am the one with the gambling problem. It is the most delusional thing that I’ve seen!

Karina Ramdath is a compassionate, skilled therapist, who works with survivors of childhood sexual abuse, trauma, and other complex mental health concerns. Karina’s professional focus is to support people by validating their experiences and acknowledging their resilience.

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In this episode, Janet Bayramyan, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Trauma Therapist, will answer five questions from our community:

What are some of the key characteristics of a healthy relationship?Every relationship has arguments/confrontations. How can you tell the difference between abusive arguments/confrontations and healthy arguments/confrontationsWhat are the 5 boundaries that every healthy relationship has?After being in an abusive relationship for so long, I find myself feeling uncomfortable and wanting to distance myself in a healthy relationship because of how unfamiliar they feel. How can I adjust myself before I lose someone who truly cares about me?I often find myself dropping good people out of my life because of the abuse I experienced in the past. For example, last week I distanced myself from a coworker because she questioned my perspective of things and I felt like I was being gaslighted. Looking back, I wasn’t being gaslighted, she was just voicing her opinion. How can I prevent this from happening again?

Janet believes everyone has a powerful story, and she also believes in everyone’s inner resiliency and self-empowerment. Janet believes that everyone who has experienced life’s ups and downs are incredibly resilient, and she likes to see herself as a guide to support in getting to a place of inner acceptance and harmony.

Janet Bayramyan is an EMDR certified psychotherapist. She is also trained in Attachment Focused EMDR, the Havening Techniques, Brainspotting, and other trauma modalities.

Using the lens of EMDR, Janet helps clients understand and process the impact of trauma and move through states of protection and connection in their nervous system to establish an embodied sense of safety.

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In this episode, Nick Kerry, a qualified psychotherapist who specializes in narcissistic/codependent relationships, will answer five questions from our community:

I plan on breaking up with my narcissistic girlfriend soon. What should I expect? How do narcissists react to breakups?Do you have any advice for surviving a narcissistic work environment? I can't just quit, I really need the money right now!Why does my narcissistic father always start huge arguments right around my birthday? Do they need supply so badly that they can't handle a day of me being celebrated?Why types of post divorce abuse should I be prepared for if I ignore my narcissist ex's hoovering attemptsMy daughter has been manipulated by my mother into turning against me. How can I rebuild my relationship with my daughter as quickly as possible?

Over the last ten years, Nick has specialized in psychological support for those experiencing narcissistic abuse.

Nick has developed a professional online mentoring service, delivered by people who know what it is to have experienced the emotional and psychological traumas of narcissistic abuse. Having learned to manage their own traumatizing histories, as well as having completed the Narc & Co mentoring training program, they are uniquely placed to support his clients in their recovery and healing. All mentoring work will be supported and supervised by Nick Kerry.

His website offers information which, hopefully, will help you to decide if you can benefit from the service on offer. He believes that though traumatic life-experience is created in a relationship, nevertheless it can be healed by a relationship based on mutual trust, respect, and learning.

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In this episode Karina Ramdath, a registered social worker and therapist, will answer five questions about trauma bonding:

What is a trauma bond and how are they created?How can you tell if you are in a trauma bonded relationship?Once you realize that you're in a trauma bonded relationship, what are the first, and most important, steps that you should take to break the bond?If you had to recommend three things that someone can do every single day to cope with the painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions that being in a trauma bonded relationship creates, what would they be and why?What are the short and long term effects of trauma bonding?

Karina Ramdath is a compassionate, skilled therapist, who works with survivors of childhood sexual abuse, trauma, and other complex mental health concerns.

Karina’s professional focus is to support people by validating their experiences andacknowledging their resilience. Karina brings a wealth of experience from hospital inpatient mental health, community and rural addictions and mental health, urgent care / emergency care services, and international community work to supporting people across the lifespan and from various ethnic and cultural backgrounds.

You can contact Karina via email or phone:

info@sweetvioletcounselling.com403-918-2342

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In this episode Natalie Feinblatt, a licensed clinical psychologist, will answer five questions from our Narcissistic Abuse Support Platform Community:

What advice do you have for those practicing radical acceptance? I find it so hard to just accept that what I experienced is abuse. How can I take small steps towards radical acceptance every day?I was the scapegoat of my family. How do I deal with the grief and shame that comes with that role?What are some of the reasons that people get stuck in narcissistic relationships?How can I manage the anger and grief that I have towards my non-narcissistic parent who was an enabler my entire childhoodWhy do narcissists hate when you go to therapy? Whenever I go to therapy it starts a huge fight!

Natalie's main specialties are helping people heal from addictions and trauma. A subset of her trauma work is assisting those who have been in cults, high demand groups, abusive churches, and other situations involving coercive control and/or narcissistic abuse. Dr. Feinblatt can use EMDR and/or Brainspotting in her trauma work with clients.

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In this episode Sarah Finch, an Integrative Counsellor and Narcissist Abuse Specialist, will answer seven questions from our Narcissistic Abuse Support Platform Community:

What is parental alienation and how does it work?

I am going to be divorcing a narcissist this year. What are the warning signs of parental alienation that I should look out for?

How can you reconnect with your child after parental alienation?

Do you remember the effect that parental alienation had on your child? I would like to know more about what parental alienation does to a child.

How can I manage the painful emotions/feelings/thoughts that parental alienation creates?

Did your child ever share with you about how the alienation made him feel?

How did you get the parental alienation to stop?

Sarah has experience working with women who have suffered trauma, addiction, domestic abuse and has a good understanding of the dynamic between the narcissist and the co-dependent in relationships.

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In this episode, Nicki Paull, an Australian Professional Counsellor and Therapist with expertise in Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome recovery, will answer five questions from our Narcissistic Abuse Support Platform Community:

How can I deal with my narcissistic in-laws? My wife isn’t a narcissist but her parents are just awful. I don’t want to just throw all this information at my wife at once. I just want to help her heal.

One of the problems that I run into when setting boundaries is that people tell me that my standards are too high. How can I prevent these kinds of comments from causing me to doubt myself?

Even though I know all about gaslighting, I still fall for it! Do you have any tips for dealing with gaslighting?

I have been in a financially abusive relationship for years and I want to escape. How can I hide money from the narcissist when they have full control of the family finances?

What are the most reliable red flags that I can search for in people to steer clear of narcissistic abuse?

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In this episode, Karina Ramdath, a Registered Social Worker and Therapist, will answer five questions from our Narcissistic Abuse Support Platform Community members:

How can I work towards becoming indifferent to the narcissist in my life?

How can I protect myself in couples therapy with the narcissist? Everything that I say gets used against me later on. I don’t want therapy to be ANOTHER place that I get minimized.

How can I stop poking at the emotional wounds the narcissist left? It is like as soon as I am doing better I have to look at an old photograph.

How can I escape financial abuse? The narc in my life has full control of the family finances. I have a job but he has access to my account. What steps would you recommend that I take to get out of this situation?

The abuse that I have experienced has caused me to overeat to deal with my emotions, how can I change this behavior?

Karina Ramdath is a compassionate, skilled therapist, who works with survivors of childhood sexual abuse, trauma, and other complex mental health concerns. Karina’s professional focus is to support people by validating their experiences andacknowledging their resilience.

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In this episode, Janet Bayramyan, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Trauma Therapist, will answer five questions from our Narcissistic Abuse Support Platform Community members:

The narcissist in my life always gets away with his abuse. How can I manage the injustice of narcissistic relationships?

I’m not sure if it is rumination, fear, anxiety, or what but all I can talk about is the narcissist. I haven’t seen her in a year but I can’t stop talking about her. Even my family has pointed out this problem. How can I fix it?

The narcissist in my life always tricks me into doing something and then shames me for it. How can I avoid this dynamic?

I have started dating again. I am wondering how I can tell the difference between love bombing and a healthy and passionate connection.

The narcissist in my life always starts arguments before we go to sleep. How can I stop him from depriving me of sleep?

Janet believes everyone has a powerful story, and she also believes in everyone’s inner resiliency and self-empowerment. Janet believes that everyone who has experienced life’s ups and downs are incredibly resilient, and she likes to see herself as a guide to support in getting to a place of inner acceptance and harmony.

Janet Bayramyan is an EMDR certified psychotherapist. She is also trained in Attachment Focused EMDR, the Havening Techniques, Brainspotting, and other trauma modalities.

Using the lens of EMDR, Janet helps clients understand and process the impact of trauma and move through states of protection and connection in their nervous system to establish an embodied sense of safety.

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In this episode Angela Avery, a licensed professional counselor, will answer five questions from our Narcissistic Abuse Support Platform Community members:

How do you overcome the sense of loss after a narcissistic relationship? I feel like I wasted so much of my life.

The narcissist makes me feel really bad about setting boundaries. He calls me controlling, arrogant, childish, and so on. I know that he is just manipulating me but it still makes me second guess myself. How can I overcome this?

I want revenge on the narcissist, does that make me a narcissist? What are some healthy forms of revenge that I can take without being narcissistic?

What are some of the ways that narcissists manipulate us into being comfortable being powerless and vulnerable?

How can I deal with my kid who is lashing out at me to get the love of their narcissistic parent?

Angela Avery, LPC, NCC, CCATP is a board certified Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery, high conflict divorce and teenage girl experiences.

As a mother, and a narcissistic abuse survivor, she has first-hand knowledge of the toll it takes on a person’s mental, physical and spiritual well-being. She believes healing is possible and hopes to be a truth-teller, opportunity-seeker and life-rebuilder on your journey towards the future.

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In this episode Lucianne Gerrard, a registered counsellor and narcissistic abuse specialist will answer the following seven questions from our Narcissistic Abuse Support Platform community:

I have a narcissistic mother that I love so much and I feel like I can’t let go of her. How did you work past the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that you had invested in your mother? How were you able to acknowledge that someone so important to you was abusive and no longer could have a significant role in your life?

I have been using the Gray Rock Method on my mom for 4 months now and I feel so guilty for doing it. How were you able to maintain the boundaries that you set with your narcissistic mother?

I know that I should go No Contact with my narcissistic parents, but my self-esteem is so low! The thought of cutting them out of my life makes me feel disgusted with myself and ashamed. How did you deal with low-self esteem when protecting yourself from narcissistic abuse?

I think the hardest thing for me is the Gaslighting. It makes everything so confusing. I don’t know if I am seeing things clearly or not. How did you spot the manipulative tactics that narcissists use?

How did you take back your power? I feel like my narcissistic parents have so much control over me and I don’t know what to do.

I feel like I am not ready to fully restrain myself from engaging in significant interactions with my narcissistic family, let alone go no contact. What were some smaller boundaries that you set with your narcissistic mother that helped you get to a place where you felt comfortable setting bigger boundaries?

How did you stop being afraid of the narcissist? I don’t mean afraid because they might physically hurt you. I mean afraid of being discarded, shut out from the family, shamed and humiliated publicly, and so on.

Raised by a strict, narcissistic mother, Lucianne Gerrard was trained to always put her mother first, then everyone else second, and never think about herself or her own needs (because that was selfish).

With her foundation of personal experience of NA (narcissistic abuse) in relationships with both parents, sibling, partners, and friends, together with her years of studying the academic research on narcissism, she feels that she is well equipped to help people (of any age) heal from their narcissistic abuse, validate their feelings, support understanding of the narcissistic techniques that seem to be universal and help them build a happier, safer, narcissist-free future.

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If you need help escaping a physically abusive relationship, please click HERE to find people and organizations near you that can help you!

Suggested Reading: How to Know if a Narcissist Will Kill You (16 Signs to Keep You Safe)

In this episode Janine Hayter, a psychodynamic, CBT therapist, and narcissistic abuse specialist will answer the following question:

"Hey there! I've been in an abusive marriage for three years. I've gotten really good at managing the emotional abuse but I'm wondering what advice you have for escaping the physical abuse?"

Janine Hayter qualified as a psychodynamic psychotherapist in 2011 and then went on to gain a further qualification in 2020 as a CBT therapist. Her interest in narcissistic abuse came from her own personal experience of a 14 year marriage to what she believed was a narcissist, and the damage the marriage had on her physical and emotional health.

Through research and knowledge she was able to understand what happened to her and why it happened. She now uses this knowledge and experience to help other survivors who are either still living with their abuser and are fearful and confused or they have left and are now trying to put back the pieces of their life and find themselves again.

The Unfilteredd Podcast: Recent Episodes

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