The Really Useful Show: Recent Episodes
Neil
The Really Useful Show lives to deliver what it says: really useful content. 26 episodes each year cover really useful topics from A-to-Z (fortnightly). The other 26 episodes explore 'really useful' attitudes, skills, and knowledge - building a collectable and transformational portfolio of shows to help you gain and maintain an 'edge'.
Music to My Ears
I’ve found her… at last!
“Who?” you say.
“My Piano Teacher,” I say!
At last, I have found the perfect piano teacher… for me.
Danielle (who I shall be raving about by name in online reviews, so no secrecy necessary about her name) is the most encouraging and affirming teacher I have ever met. (And I mean the most affirming and encouraging teacher in any subject.) More than this, she meets her students where they are – musically. Then she sets a course for where they want to get to.
All my previous teachers were good teachers. They taught well. But they taught their agenda. It was ‘their way’ or ‘find another teacher’. That is no bad thing because all of them had a proven way that worked. I find it fascinating, though, that I didn’t stick with them. Their way wasn’t the best fit for my way.
Danielle uses all kinds of magic to make it work. As an educator of some sort myself, I notice that she is using ‘Pacing’ and ‘Leading’. By this, I mean she ‘paces’ me, her student, in my map of the world first. She was very astute at uncovering exactly what I wanted to achieve. She began our classes with my desired destination in mind, and we started with patterns that would be of immediate value to me.
Here’s where the ‘leading’ comes in. (‘Pacing’ and ‘Leading’.) Once deep rapport was established, Danielle very gently nudged me towards the less exciting disciplines that were not on my agenda: note-reading, scales, and a couple of children’s books to learn the basics that are essential to strengthen my own agenda! She knew best.
I believe she’s got the order right: listen to what the ‘student’ desires and dreams of, give them 80% of the time on that, and then lead them, 20% of the time to the other material that you know is good for them.
As in Piano Teaching, so in Life. Perhaps Danielle’s approach would work for bigger issues. Perhaps Danielle’s approach would work for bigger issues… on a global scale.
There is a deeper magic, though. I have a chaotic personality. I’d love to be disciplined and tidy and diligent and organised… but I never will be – not if history is an accurate predictor of the future. Yes, people can change, but I doubt I will – not at that fundamental level. This is where Danielle wins over every other teacher I’ve ever met. There is not one word of criticism from her. Not a word. Only encouragement. I feel like a flower, battered by the winds of Winter, beginning to grow taller and stronger to face the hope of Spring. I’m sure her gentle approach will bear fruit. Encouragement can do that for a person.
Here’s the weirdly wonderful part. I now enjoy every practice session I take time for. I even find myself humming the children’s tunes; oh, “Firefly,” how I love thee!
May we all ‘Be More Danielle’. May we listen to what ‘they’ want first and help them move towards their dreams, and only when we have rapport – deep rapport - may we then make helpful additional suggestions. And may we become more encouraging with not a word of criticism. Pace, lead, encourage.
Perfect.
I quote the Moodscope.com site:
What is Moodscope?
Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.
Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it.
[End Quote]
I believe in Moodscope so much that I have written (for publication each Monday) a blog for many years. Of course, I am in no way pretending that I have the answers. Rather, my blog is one person's perspective on the journey, he hopes, to good mental health.
Today's blog is about experimenting with giving to others first before asking for or expecting anything in return.
It was recorded in difficult circumstances when storm Eunice took out our electricity. This means it is not up to the usual broadcast quality, being recorded, as it was, on mobile, battery-powered kit.
Here's a good song that goes with this: youtu.be/DL7-CKirWZE
Silent Seeds
When this is published, I will have just had my first day in full-time employment for decades. It will be a massive relief to close the door on activities that haven’t borne fruit – years of work with nothing to show for it.
…or is there nothing to show for it? I thought this new chapter would provide an elegant way to say, “No,” to the further investment of my time in daily video production. On the Friday before starting the new job, I fulfilled a promise to myself to create 90 videos, less than a minute long each. These videos have a single focus: an inspirational quote from one of the thinking giants of history. They’ve taken a lot of time and effort to produce – with no clear benefit to me other than proving to myself I can keep a promise. No, the benefit was focused on sharing value with the people who are kind enough to look at my Social Media feeds (LinkedIn and YouTube in this case).
I think Caroline’s tireless efforts at Moodscope are similar. Caroline is wonderful at finding a quote to go with each blog, and I don’t perceive any financial benefit in this activity for Caroline. That’s not what is motivating the generous investment of her time.
Thus, what I am about to say to myself, I say to Caroline, and I say to you: we don’t know the extent of the good we do. Our seeds are, for the most part, ‘silent seeds’.
I say, “for the most part,” because as soon as I’d decided to save time and stop producing daily inspirational posts, some of my seeds started talking back! I believe it is five people who have said to me this week how helpful they find the brief posts. One even said it had inspired him to have a go at video himself. Now I feel like I can’t stop sharing what inspires me. Do I have to do it daily? I think I do. I believe in ‘Daily Bread’ – fresh inspiration each and every day. So does Caroline.
Here’s an idea or two. Don’t be a silent seed. If you’ve benefited from Moodscope – explicitly tell Caroline – even if you’ve told her before. Let her know that her daily investment is paying off in your life. Secondly, have faith in your own silent seeds. Every bit of good you do – every kind word, every kind deed, every kind look – is a viable seed. You will most certainly never know the full extent of the good you’ve done but I can assure you that your kindness is bearing fruit.
We scatter seed on the ground…“Night and day, whether she|he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though she|he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain – first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head…”
You can trust your seeds – every seed of kindness. Your job is not to check in on the seed. Your job is to have faith that, no matter how ‘silent’ your seeds are, they are growing. Don’t quit.
Diving for Pearls
We go through Life paddling, swimming, or diving. I awoke today realising I would benefit from reading some of a friend’s work on Motivation. I didn’t want to read a whole book – diving deep into this important topic. Am I lazy? It would’ve been more convenient for me to swim a bit in the content – perhaps watching some videos instead. Less time, less effort but also less reward.
I’m the same about many matters in Life… even those skills and areas I really care about. Take guitar, for example, I’ve been playing for 50 years! In truth, I’ve been swimming for 50 years – using the same skills over and over for 45 years in all likelihood. I’m OK, but I could be so much better. I do enough to (usually) get by and enjoy it. Software is the same – I’ll learn enough to get the result I want, but rarely will I dive deeper.
Here’s the real shocker: I’m a swimmer when it comes to mental wellbeing. I started to dive into a course with Kings College but it wasn’t water I enjoyed diving in.
I’ve got a friend called Oli who is a Diver. I think you know him! He dives for pearls. When we discuss mental wellbeing here in this blog, it is clear that he has dived deep into what makes us tick and continues to dive. It’s like it’s his vocation – his mission, his passion. And, like many other divers in this community, he brings up pearls from the deep to show and tell. Oh, and he’s a pretty ace guitarist.
Do I want to, “Be More Oli,”? Nope… I like Oli like he is, but I don’t want to be him. I want to be more me… with added twist of diligence for zest. I want to choose one or, at the most, two areas to go diving into. Am I lazy? I think I have been. So now the choice is to get less lazy and do the work necessary to go diving… but where?
The answer is almost irrelevant because this blog was secretly about you – secretly until now, that is! You can’t go diving all the time, so I’m certain you spend your life paddling, swimming, and occasionally diving. I’d like to know two things: where have you dived in the past (= in which areas are you an expert), and more exciting, where would you like to go diving in future? What would you like to explore in depth? Not necessarily for fame, fortune, or a career but because it would delight your soul to discover pearls in that place?
It’s OK to paddle and swim along most of the River of Life, but when that River reaches the Ocean, and you want the deeper rewards, you’ve got to dive for pearls.
I won't say too much here or it will give the game away.
We begin by finishing this phrase: "This too shall..."
What leaps to mind?
If you'd like to watch an informal video based upon this simple message - filmed in an interesting 'venue' - it's here: https://youtu.be/ZQxYlvU4NCM
Don't Feed the Wolf - Overcoming the Addiction to Anxiety
I realised the other week that I seem to be addicted to anxiety. If there is nothing to worry about, I worry about there being nothing to worry about, or I invent things to worry about.
Being addicted to a behaviour is less easy to recognise than substance abuse… and yet, here I am being abused by a repeated pattern of thinking. A tiny amount of research reveals that there is a vast range of addictions on offer. You and I can even become addicted to exercise… allegedly!
I wondered if there was anything to learn from the 12 Steps of the Alcoholics Anonymous model. It was surprisingly spiritual, which may make it unsuitable for Moodscope. However, it is clear that acknowledging the problem and having peer support are really important elements – as is the regularity of the meetings.
These strike me as elements already existing in the Moodscope Model (if there is one we can formalise.) We all acknowledge an issue, we have peer support via the buddies, blogs, and comments, and we can get support on a daily basis.
What fascinates me is the ‘ecology’ of any addiction. There is a positive gain that needs to remain even if the path to it is changed. I worry because it keeps me safe and makes sense of an often confusing and uncertain world. If I ask myself, “What would I rather have?” the answer is, “Peace of mind, and confidence in the future.” The quest thus becomes finding a more delightful path to peace of mind and future confidence (or hope!)
I’ve called out the problem and decided to change. I have a new goal – to seek peace and hope. I’ve got you here to support – and I occasionally get professional help. Is there anything else that can be done? I think there is: don’t feed the wolf.
I remembered that wonderful story of the Indian brave who was struggling with behaviour too. He asked his grandfather how he coped. His grandfather confessed he still had trouble with the very same behaviours. Grandfather said there were two wolves fighting inside him – one seeking a better set of behaviours and the other hell-bent on self-destruction.
“Which one is winning?” the young Brave asked.
“The one I feed the most,” answered his grandfather.
I hope this is helping others too. For me, I need to cut down on any stimulus – including human company - that feeds the anxiety. Then, with your support, maybe peace will prevail.
MOODSCOPE
If you want help overcoming anxiety, look at www.moodscope.com - a non-judgmental supportive community for those facing up to depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety.
Never underestimate the power you have to make someone's day.
A simple, selfless act of kindness can energise their resilience so that they can better face any challenges the day presents.
The video version of this podcast is here: https://youtu.be/LDwArRqPyhE
Credits...
Music
Sunny Days
Jimmy Gunnarsson - used under licence from Storyblocks.com
Image
Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay - used with permission
I wonder if René Descartes would be gracious enough for me to adapt his famous, “I think, therefore I am”? His was a way to prove our existence. Mine is a way to improve our experience of our existence. Why? Because our thinking often drives the way we feel.
I was having a complete hissy-fit the other day, a bad mood that grew progressively worse. “Could it be,” I thought to myself, “that moods are purely chemical?” If so, my thinking was agitating those chemicals!
A little Internet surfing seemed to confirm that every emotion is a complex cocktail of chemicals rushing through the bloodstream. How are these chemicals triggered? They are triggered by our reaction or our response to a stimulus. If something makes us jump, the “fear” emotional reaction is necessarily fast – leaving no time to think before the cocktail is released. However, in most circumstances, we have time to think, we have time to respond, and thus have time to change how we feel.
Feeling cross was a real downer, something I want to learn to influence even if I can’t quite control it. It was therefore interesting to be reminded of the contribution Edward de Bono has made to improving our thinking. Edward died on the 9th June – a great loss to the world of thinking.
One of Edward’s most famous techniques is “Six Thinking Hats.” Playing on the idea of, “Putting on our Thinking Cap,” de Bono suggested we would have a better experience of life if we learned “Parallel Thinking” – to think in multiple ways. He asked us to put on one Thinking Hat at a time.
We put on the White Hat to think about facts and to use our powers of logic.
The Black Hat is the one to wear when thinking about what could go wrong – the worst-case scenario.
To balance this with optimism – the best-case scenario - he said to wear the Yellow Hat.
To create options, alternatives, and possibilities, we put on the Green Hat.
The Blue Hat is the management hat, put on to lead and organise the thinking process.
But by far my favourite is the Red Hat which allows us to express our emotions without needing any argument to justify them.
Returning to my hissy-fit, a wise friend would let me keep the Red Hat on for a few minutes while I ranted and vented! They could then ask me to put on the Black Hat to exaggerate the worst-case scenario (i.e. “The day was ruined, I wouldn’t get any work done!”)
Rant and gloom and doom over, I could put on the White Hat to calmly look at the facts.
After this, the Yellow Hat would help me think through the best-case, and the Green Hat would facilitate the generation of positive options to improve the day. Finally, the Blue Hat would help me organise what to do next.
Frankly, it’s cute even if over-complex for most situations, but it made me think…
…and the more I thought about it, the calmer I became. Surprise, surprise – I ended up having a pretty good day. I think, therefore I feel.
A brush with near death leads naturally to a time of reflection and an outpouring of gratitude for recovery. Here is what happened.
Image credit: Alexas Fotos on Pixabay.com
Music credits: Storyblocks.com "Soft Emotional Piano Quiet Storm"
"Wistful Thinking," by Lance Conrad
What will you do today that your future self will thank you for? One action is certain: the decisions you make. What you decide today will lighten or darken your future. We've all make poor choices from time to time but those choices were based upon incomplete knowledge. Hindsight is the luxury of those who possess more knowledge after the event.
We may not have foreknowledge of the future, but by adjusting the frames we use for foresight, we can improve our decision making and thus build a better, brighter, bolder, bigger future.
The video related to this topic is here:
https://youtu.be/Ic1OwF6UOCw
Song credit.
Music is used under licence from Storyblocks.com
"Summer Tropical Pop," by Kamil Guszczynski
Enjoy this inspirational podcast intended to help you and I break out of a bad mood and access, instead, a positive state of feeling good!
Links to my two bouncy songs:
Links:
Justin: https://youtu.be/ru0K8uYEZWw
John: https://youtu.be/iEEuG5XML-A
Image Credit:
Image by Digital Photo and Design DigiPD.com Pixabay
https://www.moodscope.com/welcome is a powerfully supportive and affirming resource for those dealing with the challenges of good mental health. I have take the 20 Moodscope Cards and their descriptors and created Mental-Health-Friendly Affirmations.
Lowering my voice, here are those affirmations recorded to provoke the ASMR effect.
This gentle recording is my second iteration of experimenting with seeking the ASMR effect. I hope you like it.
Best said: this is deeply relaxing. Please don't listen to it while your attention is required on anything else. This is especially so of driving or operating machinery.
You are so determined, you are resolute, you show so much determination
Your mind is as untroubled as a still lake, at peace. Being still.
You are inspired today, you feel the desire to do something.
You have forgiven yourself for all the things you may have done that you felt were wrong or foolish. Now, you have become someone who learns quickly and moves on.
You are growing in wisdom.
You have the ability to pay close attention whenever you choose.
You are learning to remain free from worry. You are creating positive expectations about what will happen today and in the future.
Now you can be excited – you can look forward to things.
You find it easy to let go of irritation… and your new found hunger for learning empowers you to transform each irritant into a pearl of wisdom and insight.
You are enthusiastic – showing eagerness.
You have let go of all hostility. Instead, you choose to feel friendly towards others.
You are active. You feel full of energy.
You let go of all agitation and edginess.
You are interested, you want to be involved in something.
You are no longer susceptible to feeling alarmed.
You are strong. You feel able to cope with any difficulties the day may present.
You have let go of fear – it’s OK not be be frightened about anything.
You are alert – you are quick to notice and act.
No longer do you have any need to feel extremely anxious or distressed. You have let go of anxiety and distress. You have chosen peace.
Now it is OK for you to feel proud, to enjoy a sense of achievement from your activities today.
You live a life free from regret. Guilt is a thing of the past – it has gone – you’ve let it go and closed the door on unhelpful feelings.
You are free to be more you.
Be reassured, there is no disturbing content! The title refers to a decision made by YouTube.
Here how seredipitous events are leading me towards recording more ASMR recordings.
Here's to Sculpture, to Friendship, to Resilience, to Relaxation and to Serendipity.
The video referred to in the podcast can be seen here: https://youtu.be/Jhqa6jisxUU
https://youtu.be/Jhqa6jisxUU
It is a recording aiming to achieve the ASMR effect.
And, if you'd like to view a video version, a vlog, of this Podcast, you can see it here:
https://youtu.be/4gdVHA_gjeI
https://youtu.be/4gdVHA_gjeI
Explore with me how "Parts Integration" - a technique used by therapists and others who understand Neuro-Linguistic Programming - can help you move from internal conflict (and thus unhappiness) through to feeling more whole.
Working with my therapist, Kim Searle, I have experienced many breakthroughs. This podcast shares how my Inner Critic has been transformed into my new hero: TruthSayer - the LieSlayer!
Novelty
“Novelty,” is a wonderful word with an even more wonderful gift in store for us. It’s based on the Old French, “novelete,” meaning, “innovation,” and, “newness,” and, “new fashion.”
It also means something unusual or new… and it means good news for mental wellbeing. Why? Because our prefrontal cortex - in that wrinkly bit of the brain - craves novelty.
I’m a bit torn with this blog in that there are way more serious problems going on in the world at the moment, way more serious problems than… boredom. But boredom is an enemy of good mental health. Whilst it may seem like a First World Problem, it’s a worldwide Human problem. Our psychological wellbeing is a bit fussy. It demands stability on the one hand AND novelty on the other! Too much novelty and we quickly feel overwhelmed. Too much boredom and our motivation dissipates, and our energy disappears.
The issue for me is that I haven’t felt ‘excited’ for way over a year! I’ve been creative, I’ve been interested, some really nice things have happened… but there’s been no excitement. Excitement is energy for me. Is it the same for you?
Thinking about this, I wondered what stimulates ‘excitement’ for most of us. Novelty is high on what triggers excitement for me. Then, the other night, we had an experience that made everything a lot clearer. We’ve got a wildlife camera that captures some of the adventures our local hedgehogs get up to in the dark. This is interesting.
The other evening, I put the camera out late and disturbed one of the hedgehogs who was already eating. Popping the camera down, I withdrew enough for the hedgehog to relax and to continue with its activities. Watching the hedgehog ‘live’ was exciting! Watching the hedgehogs on camera is only interesting. You had to be there to enjoy the excitement!
I realise that excitement is ‘now’ – in the present. It’s a ‘live’ experience. It’s not past and it’s not often future. And excitement requires ‘being there’ – ideally in an engaged state participating in the events. I say it is not often future, but there is an exception – anticipation. Anticipation is an important aspect of excitement. The journey to the holiday can be exciting too. The quiet before the curtains open up on a show or concert can be electrifying and exciting.
You know all this. Why am I mentioning it?
I believe pursuing some excitement will do you and me the power of good over the coming weeks. I was curious about what you get excited about and was keen to stir us all up to actively pursuing what we find exciting as soon as possible.
So, spill the beans! What counts as ‘exciting’ in your life? When are you next expecting to enjoy that excitement? For me, it needs to be a novelty. New food. New locations. New friends. New customers. New projects. New clothes (though not the Emperor’s!)
[Image is from "The Emperor's New Clothes."]
Have you been suffering from boredom?
I know many of us have much to be grateful for, and seemingly no genuine cause for complaint, but, nevertheless, boredom can prey upon us and destroy our fruitfulness and productivity.
In this tale and inspirational podcast, I share the story of how the Wizard of Poz can help us all overcome the Dragon of Boredom by wearing and using the armour the Wizard offers us.
Heroic Imperfect
I’d like to invent the Heroic Imperfect Tense! This is the active state where you and I become progressively more vivacious and satisfying versions of ourselves without needing to be perfect at any point along the journey. As a plaque I have puts it so well: “Flawesome!”
It would be a tense used that conveys we are perfectly OK with not being perfectly OK!
I watched the silly film, “Shazam!” last night… and loved it! Spoiler alert! It’s a 14-year-old boy who gets gifted with Superhero powers which manifest themselves in the form of an adult body. Yes, a 14-year-old’s mind, values, and experience suddenly given super-powers and looking like an adult. What would you do?
You don’t need to imagine the chaos that follows… watch the film – it’s a real ‘feel-good’ treat.
The key joy in this film for me was Billy/or/Shazam’s lack of perfection. The character is a Flawesome work-in-progress, and all the more interesting for this. He’s a troubled soul that finds a way to do something he’s proud of. In the process, he discovers himself and what he truly values.
I don’t want to be a superhero, but I do want to have a life I’m progressively more satisfied with. “Heroic,” is probably too much too but I’d like to do well! Caroline is brilliant at finding the right quote for the blog each day at Moodscope, so I thought I’d learn from her and share three gems that resonated with me.
Benjamin Disraeli said, “Nurture your mind with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes.” (Lex said, “Start with watching ‘Shazam!’”)
Theodore Roosevelt said, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
Frankly, I think we are uncomfortable around those who are too perfect. They do not compare favourably with most people’s self-image. Let me close then with what I thought was an insightful quote from Edward Everett Hale:
“I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”
May you have an inspiring day where you find the motivation and means and opportunity to do something imperfectly heroic!
The Man with Two Brains
“The Man with Two Brains,” is a comedy movie starring Steve Martin and, largely, the voice of Kathleen Turner, released in 1983. It’s silly but fun.
Last week, I finally got down to reading a book a friend had loaned me a long time ago. It’s called, “Turbo Success,” and was published in 1993. To be honest, I didn’t read it until last week because I’m tired of Self-Help ‘Success’ books. Why? Because, I may be a special case, but they don’t seem to work for me!
This one had something different and reminded us of having two brains (at least!) Ron Holland, the author, focuses very much on the Verbal Brain and the Visual Brain. His assertion is that our positive intentions – our dreams and ambitions – have to enlist the help of both brains. If we have positive affirmations, that takes care of the Verbal Brain. But if what we are seeing with the mind’s eye doesn’t match what we are saying, he says the mental pictures will take precedence.
This could be nonsense! However, it did highlight that I wasn’t investing time in imagining the better future I often talk about. In fact, my images of the future have been pretty grim! It’s been great to begin to change what I’d unwittingly been visualising.
Bluntly, when one is feeling low, having ‘positive’ people round can be… …irritating! I’d like to be upbeat today without being overwhelmingly or unrealistically positive. Let’s think in terms of ‘possibilities’ instead.
One of the possible changes I’d like in the future is to have a home of my own that I own – debt free. The affirmation just rolls off my tongue now, but there was no visualisation. That was easy to change. A couple of years ago, we stayed in my dream house – Pengwyn near Tintagel, in Cornwall. I took some photos! It’s been a simple matter to go back and revisit those images. The key, Ron says, is to see yourself in the visualisation. Just looking at the pictures is too passive – we need to be acting in our own visualisations. In response, I’ve been imagining opening the gate… walking down the steps… entering the front door… sitting at the kitchen table… you get the picture! If it never works, it’s been lovely to imagine and to remember.
Does it work? Time will tell, but it does make sense for all of us to think that we have two brains, and that when they work together, we get better results faster than when they are at odds with one another. If you’d like a happier future – what does that look like? I’ll close with a great quote I saw in a Garden Centre: “If you have a library and a garden, you have everything you need,” Marcus Tullius Cicero. Guess what else I’ve been visualising!
Signing out then, as, “The Man with Two Brains…” at least!
If you'd like to view a video of this podcast, here's the link:
https://youtu.be/RKOcuZtfCto
Our Financial Advisor loaned us a book by Ron G Holland, "Turbo Success - How to Reprogram the Human Biocomputer."
It's sat on my shelf for well over a year.
Wish I'd read it sooner!
The content of this inspirational podcast has largely been inspired by Ron's writing. Although the book was published in 1993, it has already delivered some breakthrough distinctions I really should have known years ago. I hope it works for you too.
Credits:
Image from Freepik.com Artist: sarayut_w32
For those of you who also listen to my "Renew the Mind" faith-based podcast, know that this is duplicated on that channel.
https://renewthemind.buzzsprout.com/
Prophecy – Creating Your Future – an inspirational podcast with Lex McKee
One of my favourite wisdom sayings is the answer to the question, “When is the best time to plant a tree?” The answer is, “Twenty years ago.” The next question is, “OK, so when is the second-best time to plant a tree?” The answer, of course, is, “Today!”
Seeds growing through to fruition fascinate me. So do dreams. My dreams at night are surreal. Nevertheless, I can usually trace the ‘seed’ of each surreal element back to something I’d been thinking about during that day. My thoughts created the basic elements for my dream.
This has convinced me that what we think about, or what we say, and what we do become the essential elements of what we become. What we think|say|do today will be the tree of tomorrow – our future selves. In this sense, the think|say|do combination is a prophecy – more a forthtelling than a foretelling, or perhaps a mix of the two.
If I have a part to play in creating my dreams of the night, why wouldn’t it be true that I have a part to play (though not total control) of creating my dreams in Life?
The Life I am living today is the ‘fruit’ of the ‘seeds’ I planted, if not yesterday, perhaps even twenty years ago. I know, through therapy, that much of what I’m living today was planted fifty-five to sixty years ago! Therapeutic gardening of the mind requires weeding as well as planting! Pruning as well as nurturing!
And if it is true that I have a part to play in creating the Life of my dreams, what could I think today, what could I say today, and what could I do today to create a better tomorrow?
I’ve been videoing an insightful professional psychotherapist. In the first video, “Overcoming Depression,” he offers many practical ways to move forward. None of them are big steps. His core message is ‘movement’ – if you are stuck, move! Do something simple. His examples include baking a cake, mowing the lawn, doing the washing up, walking the dog… tiny, easy, physical movements. Each of these becomes a seed to grow into a more confident person who begins to feel greater degrees of freedom.
One of the great values in taking tiny steps is that, if there is a setback, it’s just a step back – a tiny step back to reset our expectations, learn, then try something else.
Holding on to the thought that what we think, say, and do today will influence the future, what would you choose to think, to say, and to do today to head in a direction you’d prefer?
What small steps will you take today?
Perhaps, in part, we can prophesy our own future…
Credits:
Image - Wisanu Nuu on Freepik.com
Music - James Grant "Ambient Voiceover 1" on Storyblocks.com
Spring Offers
Spring offers us in the UK many moments for positive reflection and renewed hope. Three weeks ago, I was looking at how dull the back ‘lawn’ looked. It hadn’t grown over Winter and had been beaten down by workers rebuilding the fence. If a lawn can look neglected and dejected, it did. Then something magical happened…
Overnight, daisies began appearing in encouraging numbers. I thought to myself, “Who told the daisies?” meaning, “Who told the daisies it is time to thrive again?” What was the signal?
“What a difference a day makes,” says the song. Since then, I’ve had more ‘moments’ with Snowdrops and Camellias, Daffodils and Celandines, Cherry Blossom, Grape Hyacinths, and now the Magnolias and Blackthorn blossom. They all ‘know’ something. The Rooks are rowdy and busy building. The Blackbirds and Sparrows are raiding the garden for nesting materials. It’s clear that Spring is offering them a strong message that it’s time to get busy. And, of course, the birds sing their thanks in increasing numbers and volume levels each dawn.
Especially exciting for us, our resident hedgehog is awake and active and on camera again!
I have a new thought for you… at least a thought new to me. I wondered if I was hearing Spring’s offer of something new too. Humans are often detached observers of the Seasons changing rather than active participants in each new chapter. Those who participate will do things like ‘Spring Cleaning’ and the Garden Centres begin to thrive with the sale of new seeds, plants, and fixtures to cheer up the gardens.
Thus, my question is to both you and to me: are we going to participate? If the answer is, “Yes!” I’d love to know what are your Springtime activities that bring you hope and energy.
And for those readers who are at the start of their Autumn Season, what changes are you enjoying?
Imagine if Batman tried to live his life as if he was living out Superman's adventure. The consequences would be pretty dire.
Too many of us spend our lives trying to live up to other people's expections, to live out the adventure they think we should enact. The consequences can be pretty dire.
We must choose our own adventure.
Many good people have had over a year of setbacks because of circumstances beyond their control.
When we 'feel' unproductive, it is all too easy to attach our worth to our earnings, and then, when wealth no longer flows as a direct consequence of effort, to doubt our talents.
This message reaffirms the fact that you have a unique talent - maybe even more than one.
You are NOT the problem.
Current unfruitfulness may be for many reasons:
- Wrong Soil
- Wrong method of Sowing
- Wrong Season
- Wrong Strategy
The message is that you are OK.
Your talent is valid and viable.
Your circumstances need to change.
The Art of Eating Frogs
What is the best way to eat frogs? Whilst I am certain there are some excellent recipes, my two answers in this message begin with this one: in small bites.
The metaphor is used in time management training to refer to tasks we don’t want to do. Erroneously ascribed to Mark Twain, the quote is, “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”
In other words, get the distasteful tasks done first, and attack the biggest challenge first.
I’ve been eating three bullfrogs recently. One of the most distasteful ones is my accounts. This is a tadpole I leave alone all year, waiting for it to grow enormous, and then I try to eat it all at once. The sensible members amongst us will say, “Eat it in small bites! If you do your accounts each week, or even each month, you could avoid all this misery!” And they’d be right. Yet, still, I procrastinate.
My second answer is my favourite. If you’re going to eat a frog, add some delicious side dishes!
There I was, suffering. Then the thought came to me, “Listen to some music.” I love music and I believe a part of me didn’t want music on in the background in case the bad taste of the accounts spoiled my great taste in music.
I obeyed the inner voice, and, for a while, my experience of trudging through the accounts changed into more of a dance. The choice of music turned out to be mission critical. The best music for turning eating accounts into an art form was Nouveau Flamenco and relaxing harp music. If you’re open to recommendations, I’d suggest Marc Antoine – a French Nouveau Flamenco player, and, “Harp Music – Soft, Beautiful, Relaxing, and Healing Songs,” by, I think, “The Harp of Love.”
The impact of dreamy harp music reminded me of the story of King Saul – who was troubled by mental torment. The only relief he got was when David played the harp. Accounts, for me, are frogs of torment – a plague of them. Harp triumphs over torment!
Here’s the BIG thought. The Harp music was already ‘charged’ for me with positive associations of a peaceful state of mind. When I played it at the same time as eating the accounts, the sense of peace stored in the harp music was stronger than the sense of disgust experienced in the accounting. I realised that I could borrow from the stored power of the harp to transform the energy drain of the accounts.
And here’s my question to you: where do you borrow energy from to feel better when facing up to something you’d prefer not to do?
Does music work for you too?
Or is it something else?
Food for the Soul
Last time, I shared a message about choosing The Road More Scenic. This time, I’d like to share my surprise when ‘scenic’ can be synonymous with ‘intentionally different’. Whilst there are many beauty spots in Poole, Dorset, Stanley Green Road isn’t one of them! It was, however, an alternative way to my destination, so I took it.
They say, “A change is as good as a rest,” but sometimes a change is as good as a wake-up call. Coming round the corner, hungry after an early visit to the Dentist, I noticed, “Rob’s Filling Station.” This is a play on words because Rob’s Street Food outlet is part of a complex of automotive industrial units.
I asked Rob if he was OK with old-fashioned cash. “Oh, yes!” he declared, and went on to explain the punitive costs of accepting cards. He expanded, explaining that even if people didn’t have cash, he trusted them to bring it later on… and, if they were so desperate for food that they didn’t pay, he said, “I say ‘let them have it!’” I smelt a story! Clearly, Rob wasn’t in this for the money.
I said, “There’s a story there, isn’t there?”
Without hesitation, Rob explained how his 17-year-old son had died in his Mother’s arms from an aortic inherited problem. He confessed that they shouldn’t have had children as his wife’s life expectancy was 32 years because of the same health issue, though, thankfully, she is still going strong in her 50s. The 17 years with his son were all amazing and he valued every one of them.
Rob has used his experience and suffering to re-evaluate what is important in life. Aside from delivering food for the soul alongside the most magnificent Street Food, he has been instrumental in providing opportunities for others. These include setting several disadvantaged connections up in business and being in influencer in raising awareness and attracting the funding for a World Leading centre for Laparoscopic and Robotic surgery here in Poole. That’s a longer story!
Who knows what good souls and great stories await us when we deviate from our habitual ways and discover the new. I was shocked, humbled, and delighted to have met Rob and ‘Uncle Mark’ his brother-in-law. Thus, I shall be returning to record their story so that more people can experience an attitude that I covet.
Rob has an attitude of gratitude for every day. Every day is a bonus. Money is merely a means to make a difference, and there is much ‘difference’ to make in the World. I try to be grateful but have to work at it… Rob’s a ‘natural’! I left inspired as much by his food for thought, his food for the soul, as by his delicious dishes.
Roads are often used as a powerful metaphor for our life’s journey.
M Scott Peck wrote the famous, “The Road Less Travelled.”
Robert Frost wrote a favourite poem of mine, “The Road Not Taken.”
But I’ve chosen a different road that I’d like to share with you. It’s the longer way to go, which I call, “The Road More Scenic.”
[I’ve recorded a short relaxation video to share these beautiful places with you: https://youtu.be/E6OIAUSZkVM.I hope you enjoy it.]
On business that took me to Woodfalls in the New Forest last week, I deliberately took the Scenic Route allowing me the joy of the Avenue of Beech Trees at Moor Crichel (twice) as well as part of the Avenue of Beech Trees at Badbury Rings (twice though not shown on the video.)
I suspect 25 minutes was added to my journey (with Lady Penelope riding shotgun). In return for that investment, my spirit and soul were fed, and my body too with a picnic in the car in the pouring rain outside St James' Church, Alderholt... magic (thought sad that St James is no longer, "Open for Prayer.")
Other high points include the Pyramid of Moss and Brick near Hale Park House - I have no idea what this fascinating construction is for. Perhaps you can guess if you watch the video.
Breamore Mill - stunningly squatting beside the River Avon and astride the mill race. The lit Christmas Tree was a nice touch too.
The Tree of Life and Hope at Wimborne St Giles (my title... they may just call it, "Bob," or, "Uncle.")
Ten thousand Snowdrops and enough Mistletoe to bruise your lips for a Century. I’ve never seen so much Mistletoe.
En passant, spotting of the ruined Knowlton Church and the Philosopher's Tower (also not featured), Dorset landmarks dipped in history.
To conclude, the Norman bridge at White Mill, over the River Stour, which is likely to be the oldest bridge in Dorset. On this day, the Stour swollen by so many showers… a raging, rushing, river commuting to the sea.
Then there were Egrets. Egrets? I've had a few...
My point? Enjoy the journey... the destination may be a bit grim and final.
On our route we were overtaken several times by drivers clearly in more of a hurry... but for what?
Press Pause and enjoy the journey.
Now, it’s your turn. What treasures do you delight in when you go out of your way to take The Road More Scenic?
[And if you fancy another uplifting bonus, check out this gorgeous song by Darrell Scott, “And The River Is Me.” https://youtu.be/ZieYi8t_m3M ]
I look forward to reading about your treasures.
How would you like to move towards Mood Mastery - Mastery of your Emotions? Moodscope.com is here to support that drive towards inner peace
I've been a Moodscope User - a member of the community at www.moodscope.com - for years. Why? Because I regularly have to take decisive action to maintain a state of good cheer and good courage.
Arrayed against me are formidable foes, who sometimes seem invincible... but they aren't. They are pointing in the wrong direction! The main driving force of my life is towards inner peace, harmony, and mood mastery. And I have formidable friends working towards this with me. Their names are Mr Interested, Lady Inspired, Professor Excited, Sir Active, Mrs Determined, Dr Strong, Lord Proud, Rev Enthusiastic, Ms Alert, and Team Attentive!
By strengthening just a single one of my allies, I can win the day.
Equally, by weakening just a single one of my foes, I can with the day.
You can too.
You can join the battle and win.
Moodscope is here to help you.
The test enables you to understand where you are starting from today, and make an informed decision as to how you will improve your position as you move towards Emotional Mastery.
Storytelling is the cornerstone of Civilisation and Society.
Our stories define us.
They also dictate the future.
When Dr Martin Luther King Jnr shared the famous, "I have a dream..." speech, he told us a credible story of what a better world would be like, a world we could play our part in co-creating.
What the world needs now, is love, sweet love - of course - but what the world needs more is better stories we can see ourselves playing out part in bringing to pass.
Working hard for something you desire is both good and rewarding. Too much success on this path, however, can lead to an exaggerated sense of control. It's a cause and effect thing where hard work always leads to success. This is not the whole truth. There is a deeper magic where you can allow the Universe to gift you success in response to slowing down, becoming quiet, and listening to the voice of Wisdom.
For my 60th birthday, my friend, Emotional Master - Kim Searle, sent me a wooden plaque on which was written a new adjective: "Flawsome"
Someone who is "Flawsome" knows they are flawed but also embraces not only their flaws but also their awesomeness - hence "Flawsome"!
Learn how this sits beside the Japanese concepts of Wabi-Sabi and Kintsugi to offer all of flawed human beings hope for the future.
Credits
The original image is from Sebastien Marty on Pixabay - used gratefully with permission
Become a Key Person of Excellence - then you will stand above all the competition as Everest stands above the other peak performers.
Just as Everest is hard to climb, you will be hard to beat.
Personal freedom is a Life's Quest for me.
I'm fascinated by human behaviour, how we make decisions, and how we often disempower ourselves.
"The Joy of Ownership" shares a powerful yet simple strategy for taking control of our own personal destiny - 75% of which may well be in our own hand (that's a teaser for an exercise in the content.)
Video links:
1) Boids
https://youtu.be/nbbd5uby0sY
2) Stephen R Covey on the "BIG Rocks"
https://youtu.be/zV3gMTOEWt8
3) Stephen R Covey on Weekly Planning
https://youtu.be/7yMh2QNRc_M
Heather Barries is the Entrepreneur-in-Residence at Portsmouth University.
Heather is also a true "Connector" in the sense of the identity as used by Malcolm Gladwell in, "The Tipping Point."
In episode 2 of The Really Useful Show (Revisited) you will enjoy a wealth of insights from The Wealth Chef, Ann Wilson.
THANKS TO YOU
You can easily join and support this growing movement here:
https://ko-fi.com/magnanimous
I promise to be a good steward
Thank You!
Years ago, I launched The Really Useful Show - using the Alphabet as a catalyst to select topics for each show. Each topic attracted a Guest Star who naturally was a good fit.
At this point in history, I believe it is time for a New 2020 Vision - vision of courage in the face of fear, and a vision of boldness to seize the brave new world of opportunities before us.
If you've ever doubted the efficacy of collaboration, the power of symbiosis, and the impact of synergy, just consider the impact of one nation on the rest of the world's economy, wellbeing, and health. We are ONE species whose future wellbeing and wealth is inextricably linked to the context in which we live and move and have our abundant wellbeing. You'd think Chernobyl would have given the world a clue, and then followed by the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster, yet we are all well-aware of our psychological tendency to pretend 'it won't happen to us'.
Well, it has.
Now is the time to embrace collaboration (with those who share your values and vision).
With 7.8 Billion beings on Earth, and rising, you have enormous odds in your favour to find a tribe of 144 Core Partners. [144 since this seems to be the magic number for sustaining meaningful relationships.]
Thus, I am resurrecting The Really Useful Show to bring to your attention the bright lights in the firmament that is the Human species. Beginning with Daniel Wagner and Ann Wilson, I'll be adding weekly to the Cast of Guest Stars who make a positive difference in this time of requirement for us to show up and shine!
Are You Ready to Join a Group that Lives and Thinks B1G1ger?
The United Nations has/have 17 Sustainable Development Goals taking us through to 2030. I've added the link to B1G1's activity towards the goals because the United Nations are understandably careful about who they are seen or perceived to be associated with. B1G1.com is the action-impact-focused hub for a multitude of carefully curated projects that allow businesses of any size to have powerfully-positive influence on the wellbeing of the world.
B1G1 is at the heart of what The Really Useful Show stands for. I hope you'll join us as members of B1G1.
By the way, if you, personally, are ready to join an intimate community of 144 entrepreneurial thinkers, I have founded The Mindset and Motivation Members Club - "Creating Courage in a Changing World." Each club is limited to 144 members. This first club will be hosted by me, but there are opportunities to join other clubs if the door closes on this one before you're ready, willing, and able to join us.
Connect with me on LinkedIn to secure your place in this bold venture. As Daniel and I discuss in this show, who you associate with will impact on the results you get. That's why I'm a fan of Strategic Coach.
Here's Daniel's show (with the music stripped out for copyright reasons and the inspiration turned up!)
You can easily join and support this growing movement here:
https://ko-fi.com/magnanimous
I promise to be a good steward
Thank You!