BackPorch with Dale and Jonalyn: Recent Episodes
Dale and Jonalyn Fincher
This happily married couple of 20 years, both with seminary degrees, deftly side-step the political noise and navigate you back to a more human Christianity.
The Finchers take a listener's question about the muddy waters of honor, obey, and love for our parents when they aren't so honorable. Can we honor them without submitting to abuse?
Books for growth that Jonalyn recommends Howard Halpern,'s Cutting Loose and Cloud and Townsend's Changes that Heal and Boundaries.
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This is the one to hear. Let’s look at the temptations that Jesus faced, how he faced them, and how they could have derailed him. First, we must know Jesus’ mission before we can understand why these temptations were so strong. We walk through these scenes and see Jesus emerge on the other side, a king ready to for his work. Favorite line: “When God makes you steady you are no longer interested in what is trendy."
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Why do so many in churches hate rights? Why do many on the Left and Right think Rights are just excuses for people to be bad without consequence? Some even think rights means only people we agree with get to talk. Favorite Quote: "The purpose of free speech is so that truth has a chance in the public square.” In this podcast, we’ll discuss what rights mean, the difference between legal, human, and natural God-given rights. And why rights are absolutely necessary for us as humans to steward the life and gifts God has given us.
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Dale and Jonalyn talk about their own struggles in marriage and some important tips to, not only save a marriage, but to make it an enjoyable partnership. Favorite line: “Health grows trust.”
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We go 9-5 every day. We have a network of drama in our friendships and family, We are glued to social feeds and headlines of celebrity and political gossip. What are we in this life for? Do we have our eyes set on that? How should we expect God to show up? Favorite line: “If you want to see the Red Sea part, you need to first be a slave in Egypt.”
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How do you respond to friends who accuse the unvaccinated and unmasked of selfishness? Jonalyn unpacks the ways the current sound-bytes follow spiritual abuse gaslighting techniques. Favorite line: “Do your inner convictions match your life’s choices?” Dale explains how our need to belong gets in the way of our need to be wise. Learn how to respond to the vaccine police both in your heart and in public dialog.
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What do all evil things have in common? Dale reveals the infantile society among us. Confusion too is a fruit of evil. Notice how laughable so many ideas on social media were a decade ago but now bring sorrow when implemented. We'd joke "That'll never happen!" But then it does. When evil starts to lose power, it amplifies good words to keep evil’s grip. They use Twitter, which was founded in democratizing free speech, into a platform that pretends it and redefines free speech. Calling people who call out misinformation as "misinformed" and calling out those who speak against propaganda as "promoting propaganda." Listen in as the Fincher’s move us from darkness to light in this moving broadcast.
Favorite line: "It’s not evil itself but evil's wake that what brings us grief."
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Dale and Jonalyn talk about their experience with COVID. They share their experience being shamed for not getting vaccinated. And they talk about how bankrupt public trust has become in the current medical community. Favorite line: "Doctors have become the DJs of medical research. 'Let me play what’s popular and what I’m told you need to hear'."
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The Finchers discuss the problems with thinking humans are worthless. Dale gives a timely definition of sin as pollution. Jonalyn talks about how easy it is think you’re confessing when you’re actually groveling. They explain how confession is supposed to work. Favorite line: "Lost things are wanted things. And humans are lost, therefore, all humans are wanted."
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The Finchers explain how our personal stories are directly connected to why we trust abusive political leaders. Dale defines abuse, politics, rights and his personal test for a political philosophy. You won’t want to miss the Finchers sharing their individual stories of identifying and healing from abuse. Favorite line: “Saying I’m wounded is not the same as healing.”
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From dating to marriage, from church leaders to politicians, what is the criteria we use to hand over our trust to them? Dale offers some questions we should all be asking in this post-Covid world. Jonalyn shares the practical examples too about political yard signs.
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Are racism and rape really the worst kinds of sin? The culture of our church, background, family and political party can re-prioritize which sins matter most. Dale shares a recent Bible passage from Genesis on the story of Judah, Tamar and Onan. Listen to the many prejudices we bring to reading this story as we try to get at what the author is actually saying.
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Where is the hope today? With so much dark clouds of bad news around us, the Finchers share how they look for the unanticipated "forks in the road." They call it “God’s irony.” Favorite line: "What has happened in the past is no guarantee of what will happen in the future."
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Dale and Jonalyn talk about what’s driving all the confusion today about sex and gender. They explain why LGBTQ has come to offer belonging and why belonging matters more than reality for many people. Favorite line: “An appetite is not an identity.” Jump to minute 25 if you want our working definitions.
SHOW NOTES:
Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen, My Brothers Keeper: What the Social Sciences Do (and Don't) Tell You About Masculinity .
Matt Walsh debating/discussing transgender identity on Dr. Phil.
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Dale shares with Jonalyn a Bible story he taught his boys. Jacob and his generational sin of deception get a full airing in this one. Jonalyn brings up Martin Luther King and Ravi Zacharias, purity and judgmentalism. Favorite line: “The purpose of our life is not to get things done or be used by God.”
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Dale and Jonalyn discuss some possible reasons wealthy people are so devoted to the fashionable, both in business and goverment policy. And why trends seduce us. Favorite line: “We will devastate ourselves to fit in. We are not ourselves.”
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How do we talk about sex in a natural human way with our kids? Favorite line: “You’ve been given an incredible power. God lets the wicked and righteous have this power. Your sexuality is like pulling Arthur’s sword out of the stone. What good are you going to do with it?”
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Jonalyn shares a story of a friend who was stuck in Hawaii because of a positive COVID test. The Finchers squarely face the reality that no one in government power actually wants you to be healthy, pursue your dreams, grow in personal power. In fact, it's the opposite. Favorite line: "The War on Drugs inserted the government into our health."
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The Finchers discuss about how Christmas is not just a holiday, not just a family and friends get together. They talk about the virtue signaling on social media that draws attention to the sadness of the holidays, why empathy is actually a dead end. And they share what Merry Christmas means, even to those who mourn. Drawing our attention to that, reminds us why this holiday endures. Favorite line: "Hanukah and Christmas are not competing holidays."
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Dale and Jonalyn discuss what makes a bad word “bad.” Find out what an "unwholesome" word really means. They talk about how they’re parenting their kids through the challenges of YouTube videos. Favorite line: “Some words are worth a thousand pictures.”
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Dale and Jonalyn talk about a student in their local high school who was suspended for saying "There are only two genders." Dale explains how to respond to this injustice silencing our children's God-given intuition and reason. He explains why postmodern ideas are all about power and not goodness. Favorite line: "Today people are required to draw a line in the sand before they think about and understand the big issues."
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How do you stay steady in the middle of so much conflict in this world? Dale explains his tools for walking into the hard places of politics, rights, and social media.
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What do we do with unmet expectations? Are expectations the problem today? Dale and Jonalyn tease apart expectations from obligations and show an important role expectations play in all our friendships. Favorite line: “God expects us to expect everything from him.”
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This is part 3 in the series. Part 1 is "Are church buildings necessary?" Part 2 is "What does church mean?" In this final episode, we bring this together in practical ways to be the church.
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As a followup to the episide "Are church buildings necessary?", Dale and Jonalyn explain the Scriptural concept of church. Fasten your seatbelts!
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Dale shares a WSJ headline "Children Hospitalized due to COVID-19 at All Time High" and explains how the news media manipulates us. If you've ever wondered about the motivation behind headlines, if you wish you were less whipped around and confused by the news, this one is for you. Favorite line: "When you see any headlines don't assume it is true and I should do something. First question should always be 'What do they want me to believe?'"
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Dale and Jonalyn discuss what this word means, why it's polarizing and anxiety-inducing. They also share why so many so-called women's rights advocates don't honor women or understand women's uniqueness. They also explain where they agree (teamwork between men and women is the goal) and disagree. Favorite line from Dale: "You don't knee-cap men in order for women to get ahead." Favorite line from Jonalyn: "A women and a man will approach the same passage of scripture differently. "
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Jonalyn received this question about another church building campaign. Dale talks about the similarities between current church buildings and community centers. They also discuss the reason churches often build larger facilities and the call to build something larger and more enduring. Favorite line: "With these doors, I can tell something important is going on here."
Subscribe to BackPorch with Dale and Jonalyn on Soundwise where you'll find Dale's "Stories of Jesus for the Modern Family."
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Dale and Jonalyn talk about what it means to have God-given rights. How do we know God gives us these rights? Jonalyn asks Dale to explain Edward Snowden's crimes in the right to privacy context. They also talk about parents reading their kids diaries. Favorite line: "A right is the moral boundaries around your person."
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In one of our first podcasts, Dale and Jonalyn talk about their five-year-old's question, "What does grave mean?" They discuss death, resurrection, and how to explain our hope in the new heavens and earth to our children. Jonalyn also explains how white and black are not skin colors in Scripture, they are metaphors connected to light. Favorite line: "In our country we always want to point at race to reconcile people to each other. That has and continues to get us nowhere. You only do that when you don't have God."
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