The Upstream Podcast with Salman, Like the Fish: Recent Episodes
@salman.likethefish
A podcast born to leave behind a legacy for the next generation through the wisdom cultivated in the upstream.
What if the biggest risk isn’t leaving… but staying?
S?E? The Cost of Staying — ft. Crash
Staying in the job that drains you.
The relationship that asks you to abandon yourself.
The familiar life that feels safe—but no longer feels true.
In this episode of The Upstream Podcast, my friend Crash and I explore “The Cost of Staying.”
Crash walked away from a career just one year before earning tenure because remaining meant compromising his integrity. Later, he left behind the comfort of home, moved to Virginia, and stepped into an unfamiliar life—without knowing exactly where it would lead.
I share my own experience of leaving a stable position to build a practice where I could finally work in alignment with who I am.
These weren’t fearless decisions. They were terrifying.
But fear doesn’t always mean you’re making the wrong choice. Sometimes fear is simply what you feel when you’re about to stop betraying yourself.
And leaving isn’t always the answer. Sometimes staying—with honesty, effort, therapy, and intention—is the courageous choice. The real question is:
What is staying costing you—and is that cost bringing you closer to your truth or further away from it?
You don’t need to change your entire life today. But maybe you can change one thing you’ve been afraid to change. Make the call. Set the boundary. Submit the application. Have the conversation. Take one honest step.
You may not know exactly where you’ll land.
You just have to know when it’s time to jump.
What’s one change you know, deep down, is aligned with your path?
TheUpstreamPodcast #TheCostOfStaying #ChooseYourself #LiveInAlignment #PersonalGrowth #CourageToChange #TrustYourPath #AuthenticLiving #TakeTheLeap #JustKeepSwimming
“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.”
Goethe
There’s a chasm between where we are and where we want to be—whether in our health, mindset, spirituality, or relationships. Most people believe that if they just had the motivation, they’d have everything they desire… they’d be unstoppable.
But the irony is, what’s stopping us is often ourselves.
We might hear a word of encouragement or even receive crystal-clear instructions on how to reach a goal—something that lifts our spirits and gives us hope to change the parts of our lives we say we’re desperate to transform. But that boost? It’s just a spark… and that spark will fade.
Unless it’s fueled by one thing: action.
Without action—without hearing and then doing—we stay the same. The spark stays a spark. Months or years pass, and regret creeps in. Not only because we didn’t become who we could’ve been, but because we end up lacking—lacking the ability to provide for ourselves and our families, lacking health, resilience, and peace… lacking time. It’s a poverty of body, mind, and spirit.
Join me and Tyler McCormick as we talk about how one unexpected conversation became a catalyst for real, urgent, and life-changing action.
‘Without a vision, the people perish.’
We can’t hit target if we don’t aim at it. And we cannot aim at it, if we cannot see it. So what then? We can be aimless, and aimless we will carry on. But as the proverb says, if we have no aim, no vision, we wither: mentally, emotionally, professionally, spiritually, and physically…even relationally.
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Now what if one has an actual limitation. They can either allow that limitation to become a reason to having limited aims, or they can can proceed despite limitation and aim for the highest good of themselves and potentially overcome not just themselves, but whatever arena of life they are striving in.
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Join me and my guest @mullin_sean, a man who is blind, yet pursuing the aim of being a top competitor in Jiu Jitsu, in an arena with other athletes without any disabilities or limitations. See what he’s been able to do, despite having to overcome obstacle after obstacle, and adversity after adversity. He is truly and man with vision.. one who is not perishing but thriving and climbing higher and higher to the top.
When a man embarks on the journey of fatherhood, his life undergoes a stark transformation. Suddenly, he finds himself entrusted with the profound responsibility of nurturing a co-created with his beloved and the divine Creator. How he embraces and enacts his role as a father profoundly influences the trajectory of his child's life, shaping their future in profound ways.
Yet, no father walks this path flawlessly. Many carry unseen wounds, unresolved and unhealed, which can inadvertently be passed down to their own children, burdening them with generational baggage. However, within every generational lineage, there emerges a trailblazer—a man who courageously breaks the chains of the past, reshaping the narrative for the betterment of future generations.
Join me, along with my dear friend Freddy Banales, as we delve into the complexities of navigating fatherhood without a complete roadmap, healing from our own pasts, and striving to honor our own fathers while fulfilling our roles as loving husbands and fathers. This conversation is particularly meaningful to me, and I hope it resonates deeply with all fathers and soon-to-be fathers out there.
Keep swimming, friends!
We won’t go into the dictionary’s definition. That would be too easy, and quite frankly, it doesn’t reach the depths or heights that would satisfy this inquiry.
In this episode of "What is a Man," we delve into the landscape of what it is to be a man through the lens of a discussion with my guest, Matthew Pride. Exploring the pillars of being a man, we navigate through societal expectations, values, as well as philosophical and theological thought.
Plot twist…there will be a part 2 as we couldn’t answer this question fully in one hour! More to come friends! Just keep swimming…
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"... is this true? I can't recall anyone ever questioning this statement, especially when it comes to fitness.
We all know the general benefits of exercise and fitness, but how much exercise should we be engaged in, and what kind? ... At what kind of intensity? How much recovery is needed for the level of exercise we engage in? Where is the tipping point of doing "too much," to the point where there are diminishing returns?
Join me and my guest Crash, owner of Venator Human Performance and Jiu Jitsu Black Belt instructor as we have a conversation about whether or not our fitness is killing us or actually benefiting us for the long term.
With so much focus on people, particularly men to be "vulnerable," within the last few years, it became evident to me that there wasn't enough guidance on how to actually be vulnerable. Even more lacking is the insight on who we should or shouldn't be vulnerable with and how much should we reveal of ourselves. Because it's a hot topic, it seems as the more vulnerable you are, the better. However, vulnerability carried out this way could have unwanted consequences.
Join me and my guest, Crash, as we discuss walking this tightrope of vulnerability in our relationships and share our own experiences, good and bad. We hope it will be helpful for you on your own journey to hone your own vulnerability in your life.
Physical fitness is important, not just for our bodies, but for our minds. But what happens when you have all the fitness in the world, but you are unable to defend yourself and/or others in a physical confrontation? Strength, and even instinct, will most likely not be enough against a would-be attacker.
Why be hard to kill? There’s an old Chinese Proverb that says, “It’s better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in war.” That is to say, it’s better to be prepared and know how handle oneself in a physical altercation, than to not know and be thrust into a situation that one has no experience in.
Being hard to kill from a physical stand point is one level. There is also the mental and emotional level which is absolutely necessary to handle the chaos of life when it eventual comes, and it will. There are things we can do to fortify our physical bodies to withstand potential threats. There are also things we can do that would benefit our emotional and mental well-being to fortify us against the definitive trials of life.
Join me and my friend and teacher, Crash, BJJ instructor and Fitness Business Owner, as we discuss just how we can make ourselves hard to kill from the physical, mental, and emotional perspective.
We've all heard the phrase, "Survival of the fittest." I believe the great poets Mobb Deep emphasized that only the strong survive.
While this may be true, it is intense. In today's modern world, we are provided conveniences that centuries ago, human beings couldn't even fathom. Surviving in a sense is not so difficult that you need to be the fittest any longer.
However, being fit-ish is not just helpful, but necessary if one wants to live optimally. We don't all need to be professional athletes or insanely strong, or fast... but if aren't leaning towards being fit-ish, our bodies go neglected and eventually let us know it. Considering that the body, mind, and soul are one, this doesn't go so well for us.
Join my guest Father Gino Delarama and I as we discuss his fit-ish journey. His body eventually let him know that it was time for a change. What he didn't realize were the positive benefits towards his mental, emotional, and spiritual health. He shares all that with us right here on another episode of Upstream.
Also, this recording was saved by AI. I neglected to record myself and utilized AI to help recreate my voice so I could put this together. Really grateful that this content did not end up getting lost forever. Bare with me on this one, but also, check out what AI can do!
Keep swimming, friends.
"Lesser men have done greater things...." The first time I heard this quote, it was like a lightswitch went off in my brain that I didn't even know it was there. The man who shared this quote with me, Shaun Puluse, took the time to sit down and speak further about the context of this quote in his life.
This episode is one of my long awaited episodes. When Shaun shared this with me, I was just in the beginnings of starting a private practice and had nothing but doubt and fear in me. Now that I'm quite literally living the dream, when I come across someone who was in my position of making a change and experiencing trepidation, I share with them this very quote.
Shaun and I go back a few years now, but I had no idea the trials he had faced in his history, and yet throughout all, he's on the other side and working on finding and being his best self. And on this episode, he lays it all out with a courage unsurpassed by any other. We hope you take away all you can from this one. Love y'all!
One of the strange challenges of our current times is the idea of masculinity. The "culture," which is always shifting, seems to have deemed any facet of what masculinity is as "toxic." Be not mistaken! There is no such thing as "toxic masculinity." What some may call "toxic masculinity," is not masculinity in the least bit. It is a counterfeit. It is putrid. It is an utterly false replica of authentic masculinity which has culture bucking back at the reality of authentic masculinity as a whole.
Join me and my guest Eddie Bastidas, a man who I've found to demonstrate authentic masculinity, even the in the most trying times. This one isn't just "for the boys." We encourage everyone to listen in as we dive in and explore what it means to be authentically masculine.
Everything we do and don’t do has a consequence, for better, or for worse. Whether it’s our relationships, health, finances, or spiritual life, everything is always changing and how we carry on (or don’t) effects these domains.
If we find we are in a space in life that we did not intend to be in, we would benefit from taking extreme ownership in that we are the reason that we are where we are, and start sowing seeds today that will change the course of our future.
If on the other hand, we appreciate the space in life we are in, it’s a good time to make an assessment as to what brought us there and continue to make the adjustments to create a fuller, more fulfilling life… not just because it benefits us, but because it’s of benefits to all around us and society at large.
Join myself and two of my best friends and co-teammates of the infamous Masters Division CrossFit team Jumbo Shrimp and Fish, Dan Pitre and Chris Tufel, as we discuss the pursuit of a life well lived through sowing seeds today for our future.
Vibes. We feel them. Good and bad… we could be wrong about them. But over the long term, if we are honest with ourselves, one can not deny whether or not the people whom we spend time with are building us up, or painfully tearing us apart.
So what do we do? Especially when it’s a friend since childhood?… or even a blood relative. How do we break the cycle of a toxic relationship? And what does a toxic relationship mean? Simply put, around a toxic relationship, we become something OTHER than our best self.
Join myself and John Aventuna, Army veteran, my cousin, and one of my best friends, as we process the letting go of toxic relationships as we strive to be our best selves for the ones who really need us at our best.
‘Only the disciplined ones are free.’
-Eliud Kipchoge
Ugggh…. Who wants to hear about discipline? That word has been dragged around the proverbial social media/high performance/self-improvement space for far too long. What comes to mind for most are the dirty synonyms of pain, torture, and drudgery.
The fruits of discipline are spoken of much more. They are pretty…. They are sweet… They are desired by everyone, yet, so few enjoy these fruits for too long…such as physical health, mental well-being, positive relationships, well earned income, etc.
Our human existence is one of freedom of choice, and yet, our choices have consequences, good and bad. There is always a natural order that can not be bent. No one has freedom to change natural order, though we may bend and mold ourselves through discipline to achieve our highest self in the existing natural order of life.
Take Eliud Kipchoge… the first man to ever run a sub 2 hour marathon… that’s 4 minutes and 34 seconds PER MILE… for 26.2 miles! He accepted the natural order and bent himself over time, through discipline, to create a moment in time that will forever be in the history books of running and sport.
Join me and my guest Matthew Gardner as we speak about our experience completing the 2021 Lake Placid Marathon… His first marathon, and my first in person marathon since 2006. The experience was one of a lifetime and the lessons we both learned through training and completing this marathon together are ones we are hoping may be beneficial to anyone listening.
‘The best way out is always through.’
-Robert Frost
No one wants hardship. No one wants trials. No one wants pain or suffering. No one wants to feel the harsh reality of desolation. But no matter who we are, ‘the rain falls on the just and the unjust.’
No matter how ‘good’ we are… or ‘bad,’ … rich or poor… seats of influence or not, we will experience the full range of life. This is objective truth. However, these challenges that come and how we interpret and walk through them are entirely within our control. We have free will.
Join me as I sit and hear @austinkap’s journey through one of the most difficult moments in his life along with my good friend @rodrigoagreda. Through deep depression and isolation, Austin’s journey through it all has forged a different man… a clearer mind, and a more open heart.
Nothing worse than a beloved band, whose music holds a special place in our lives, breaks up. The chemistry between the members formulates a certain unidentifiable "something" that just can't be replicated. But as fate would have it, it is a fact of life: Bands break up...and sometimes....so do friends.
There are many reasons for this, but one in particular is resentment. How many offenses or judgements.. or criticisms go unspoken of despite the need for these things to be addressed properly?
What if more people voiced their issues with one another in a productive, healthy manner? Well, this is exactly what happens on this episode. Without preparation... without any knowledge of the topic at hand, I sit down with my longest time friend and bandmate to have a very difficult discussion about unspoken issues. Why? Because relationships that hold value deserve the attention.
We can move on from relationships, or we can make attempts to salvage and grow them. Is there anyone in your life you need to have a sit-down with?
What does it mean to 'exorcise' something? It means to drive out or expel. Well, exercise is a concrete and tangible way to 'exorcise' the risk of illness, but also the mental demons of anxiety and stress. The triple threat is truly fitness, faith, and friend/family for my guest Rodrigo Agreda, 2 time CrossFit Games Bolivian Champion. Listen in on how the interplay of these three crucial components of his life have brought him the level of athletic success, a thriving personal coaching roster, an unshakeable mindset, and a new found growth in his own journey of faith and what it means for him.
Trust. What does that word mean? How does it apply to our relationships, our means of income, our goals and aspirations? How much of this intangible resource do we give away? How much of it do we hold back and from who or what?
And when the trash hits the fan and we lose faith in the act of trusting, what do we do? Do we just throw our hands up in the air? Or do we trust the still, small voice inside that quietly whispers, ‘something's not right… something has got to change.’
Join us as we sit with Khalil Malamug, renowned barber, multiple business owner/entrepreneur, MMA athlete, and car enthusiast who's making big waves with his Cars and Coffee meet ups. His personal journey through 2020 has redefined exactly what trust means to him.
'It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered.’
-Aeschylus This whole project was birthed out of one seed of honor. About a year ago, Matt Pana of @likewisepodcast asked me to be on his podcast. I had no idea why he would want to speak to me or what we would speak about. I was truly humbled that he shared with me that I had been someone he had looked up to as a drummer. I played drums for many years because I enjoyed it and was not intending to have any impact or influence on anyone. To hear him honor me in this way and to be able to speak on his podcast gave me encouragement to pass along honor. Every episode of this podcast was birthed out of this initial conversation with Matt. I have had the extreme gift of interviewing and honoring 12 other people and to share their wisdom with others. Just think about the possibilities that could be realized if we honored other people more where it was due. How much further could they go in life... and how much more impactful might they be in the world. Join Matt and I as we discuss this topic and rehash the past year in this final episode. For all those who have listened and been on this journey with me.... I appreciate you and hope that in some way, these conversation have been helpful.
Did you know that one in 6 men will encounter a clinically significant depressive episode in their life? Think of your closes 6 friends...well, 6 friends, you’re pretty lucky (joke to break the seriousness of this topic), but that is a staggering number.
Even if not ‘clinically significant,’ as in meeting all the criteria a provider utilizes, don’t we all have somewhat of an idea of how that may feel?
For some, the descent into that chaos of depression is an abyss that seems insurmountable, and even worse, many tangible things can be lost along the way down: a job, a relationship, health, you name it. Time and healing, therapy via counseling and/or medication, self-reflection, and acceptance are crucial to getting back on one’s feet.
Join me and Pete Isip, once barely acquainted, now friends, as we discuss our unlikely encounter in a very random outpatient therapy program that was the very spark to this deep dive on recovery and rebuilding after a mental health crisis
"There's nothing certain in life except for DEATH and TAXES."
Death.. we don't like to think about it. Matter of fact, how often do we take a step back behind the veil and think about the "matrix," that we're in so-to-speak. Have you ever asked yourself why you are here? How did you get here? Where are we going after "this" is over. Who or what put me here in the first place? What is death going to be like? Is there life afterwards? What about the in-between?
Near-death experiences have skyrocketed since the dawn of CPR and though many survivors may not be spiritual, or even of the same religious persuasion, it is baffling how many experiences share commonalities.
Join me as a sit and talk with Paulo Santos, a man who has been at the brink of death after contracting COVID in the very beginning of it all. Medically speaking, he should not have survived COVID. Now he lives to tell about his experience. A true journey beyond life, and into the realm in-between life and death.
Join us as we close out this segment on the spiritual awakening that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous can provide one who has tried everything else to maintain sobriety from alcohol and drugs. This program can provide the willing participant to regain control of their life, not just over substance abuse, but even for the non-addict who struggles with engaging in behaviors they can not break, thinking patterns that are self-defeating, and resentments that breed a life of drudgery.
See what I did there? ‘w-AA-y.’ Thats because this episode is all about how the program of Alcoholics Anonymous would be massively helpful to anyone, and not just those who are working towards their recovery from illicit substances or alcohol.
I’ve had the honor and privilege to work along side patients and their counselors on their road to recovery and have witnessed tremendous change from the inside out. Some would call that a ‘spiritual,’ change. From what I’ve seen over and over, anyone seeking lasting change in anything in life, there is something that goes deep within and beyond behavior.
C.S. Lewis once wrote, ‘You don’t have a soul. You ARE a Soul. You HAVE a body.’ For our body and it’s expression in this world to change, our souls need healing and growth.
Join me and CEO of Bluecrest Recovery Center as we discuss the benefits of AA for the general population. The man is wealth of wisdom gained through the upstream of life without a doubt!
Ahhhhh relationships.... such a complex and personalized topic. But what is the point of relationship? We were never meant as human beings to live life alone. It is in our DNA. The human race would not be here to this day otherwise.
Culture is constantly changing, but the truth remains that some relationship are life giving, while others are ... well, NOT.
Every relationship we enter into is a gamble. We don’t have much control of our attractions, but we do choose who we decide to commit to. But when is it time to call it quits? When do we make a formal commitment? And when we’ve made that commitment, how do we keep it?
Join me and artist, musician, and one of my best friends as we discuss life in committed relationships from both sides of the fence; myself married 13 years, and Aremo, 2 years into a committed relationship. Maybe you’ll have some clarity on whether or not you’re in a relationSHIP or a relationSHIT
Listen as the tables are now turned and Angel plays host as we journey through this writer's experience into working through mental health issues never before lived.
Mental health.... just those words alone bring about stigma. It’s not sexy. It’s not commonly spoken about with even our closest associates.
It’s a scary thought that one can descend off into the lower side of the mental health spectrum, but the reality is we all have a certain level of resiliency and threshold to cope with life.
The pandemic has added another layer of anxiety that hangs on the backdrop of the complex life that we are all already living. There are those in the field like myself and Angel Bosquez who are in the thick of serving those who seek mental health services.
Join us as we share and get vulnerable about what it’s been like from the perspectives of two men working in mental health, fighting for our own.
We’ve heard it said before that it’s not what you know but who you know.
As human beings, we are meant to be in communion with one another, like it or not. We were not created to be isolated creatures. And within the depth of our being is a yearning to be good to our fellow humans, and ideally, make a lasting positive impact on humanity. This, inherently, leaves us with a feeling of accomplishment, joy, and peace.
Join me as I speak with Eric Nowoslawski, a man on a mission to leave this Earth better than it was when he arrived. What makes this man tick? Why is he so driven to be generously altruistic? What drives a man to want to live a life that contributes to the betterment of society at large? Listen and find out!
You may or may not be aware of the undercurrent of, "Cancel Culture." It is sweeping away whole careers, movements, companies, cultural icons, even history; so much has been "cancelled," without any chance for redemption. This plays out with an even more furious pace given the usage of social media platforms, where news, valid or not, goes from the clouds to our hands exclaiming, "Cancel (fill in the blank), they did (fill in the blank), and so it goes.
All of this is taking place on the macro level, but this also takes place on the micro level.
The micro level is the level of our interpersonal relationships: our friends, family, loved ones, co-workers, relatives, and even acquaintances. A difference of opinion or viewpoint, or maybe even a misunderstanding can cause one to "cancel" on the relationship for good. And why cancel? Does this provide more peace? Security? Does it quell?
Join me as I speak with Mute; photographer and artist and good friend of mine, who I almost cancelled! So much was gained from our interaction and we want to share that with you. If you've ever felt like "cancelling," someone, this just might be the episode you need to hear.
Do you have power in your life? What is power anyway? And if you don't have power, how can you acquire it?
Join me and my guest John Troche, Substance Recovery Specialist and Interventionist as we explore the concept of power and how possession, or lack there of it, can make or break our lives.
We have a deep intuition that there is a part of us that has not been actualized. No matter what level of consciousness, something so germaine to being human is this wisdom that we can be something different, maybe even better, than what we are now. For some, that inward call is left unfilled. Why? Could it possibly be because of a lack of power?
Let's change the script. Let's find out what power is and how we can get it so that we can be everything we were created to be, so that we can help those around us who we were meant to serve.
All of us have either had a giant to face, are currently facing a giant, or will have to face a giant in our lives. The ‘giant’ of a new endeavor: a marriage, a new job... the ‘giant,’ of a conflict that you would rather not deal with... maybe with a friend, co-worker, a boss... maybe in your marriage or relationship. And if we are really honest with ourselves, the ‘giants’ inside of us... our pride, shame, guilt, low self-esteem...
The truth of the matter is that giants never back down. Giants don’t have mercy and give you space or time to manage your reaction to the giant. Giants taunt and tower over their would-be victims. The only remedy to rid oneself of the giant is to face it.
Join us this Tuesday as we speak with Paul Hart and relate a familiar allegory in which the main character must face his own literal giant.
If you have anything in your life that feels like a giant that you have been seeking courage to fight back against, this is a must listen.
Listen in on one man's journey as he enters into the desert of a social media detox. A REAL detox.
Isn't it ironic that we're speaking about distancing oneself from social media, yet social media is the channel that this message is being delivered? Maybe, but we are not advocating a detox necessarily. However, if you have the slightest suspicion that toxicity is finding its way into your life through social media and you're curious about how your life could change from a social media holiday, wonder no more! Let my guest, Dan Ivanir tell you all about it!