PDValentine: The Naked Satanist: Recent Episodes
PDValentine
In the thirty years since Paul Douglas Valentine founded the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation, he has represented Satanism honestly, boldly, and with a tireless desire to reveal it for what it truly is - egotistical atheism. No other person or organisation waving the Satanism banner has come close to achieving Valentine’s success in self-promotion, global recognition and respect. His YouTube videos and BlogTalkRadio shows offer us intimate glimpses into the complex yet always entertaining workings of his mind, and his often self-depreciating sense of humour is refreshing in an arena of petty, hateful, and calumnious imitators. Hop aboard the Valentine express; no tickets are needed and it’s a ride well worth taking!
To those of you who suck up and pander to every friggin' ethnic group, etc., just to be politically correct? Bite me! It's 2013 NOT 1965.
The older I get the more I have zero patience for the sheeple embracing the silly and destructive belief in gods. These self-righteous fools think they have the answers when instead they have nothing but fear of reality.
Fear of vaccines, inbreds fearing that the goverment will kick down their doors looking for guns, America is making a fool of itself based on the paranoia of those who should never own a gun or vote.
What's great about this month? The ushering in of a new year and my 57th birthday. Not to mention the 27th anniversary of the founding of the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation.
You asked for it, you got it! I'm entering year #6 of my hosting The Naked Satanist here on BTR. I swear I will be back to the two hour format soon.
Yesterday's show was the last straw for my daughter Meghan. She begged me to try doing a show today without saying "but um" or "but anyway" - and without profanity. This is going to be fun...
I don't know how so many people can believe in "ancient prophecies", but it's no surprise that the vast majority have southern accents.
Yeah... It's going to be one of those meaningless shows. But I'll enjoy it and that's all that matters.
If you have fragile sensibilties and are easily offended, go suck your thumb and don't listen to this show.
It's been a rough, rocky, sometimes heartbreaking last few years, but through the angst, heartache and tears is the realization life is good. At least for me.
President Obama's overwhelming victory last evening proved America's desire to continue moving in a positive forward direction.
It's sad so many people live such shallow lives that embracing mythsis important. Today I take them on.
A day of selfish indulgence surpassing even Thanksgiving needs just one more thing - ME!
I actually hadn't planned to do a show today but my friend Jon has a rare day off so... Consider this an early Christmas gift. Bastards.
What do Edgar Cayce, Anton LaVey, L. Ron Hubbard, and Aleister Crowley have in common? They are all thankfully dead. That pretty much sums up the direction of today's show...
I always see a spike in Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation merchandise sales as Christmas nears, and so far it looks like this will be the best year ever. I'll give my reasons for the phenomenon.
Ten years ago today I arrived in Michigan for the first time since my 1988 appearance on the now defunct Detroit show Kelly & Company. Despite some deep losses and heartaches, this has been the best decade of my life.
With the hurricane approaching we need to take proactive measures, folks. That includes yanking out the credit/debit/PayPal cards and donating to the Red Cross and Salvation Army right now. And don't forget animal shelters.
My friend Joanna has an organization which uses the unfairly maligned Bull Terrier as therapy dogs. She can't do it alone, folks, so I'm doing a weeks worth of shows to help raise both funds and awareness for her cause. Your participation will be greatly appreciated.
My friend Joanna has an organization which uses the unfairly maligned Bull Terrier as therapy dogs. She can't do it alone, folks, so I'm doing two weeks worth of shows to help raise both funds and awareness for her cause. Your participation will be greatly appreciated.
My friend Joanna has an organization which uses the unfairly maligned Bull Terrier as therapy dogs. She can't do it alone, folks, so I'm doing two weeks worth of shows to help raise both funds and awareness for her cause. Your participation will be greatly appreciated.
My friend Joanna has an organization which uses the unfairly maligned Bull Terrier as therapy dogs. She can't do it alone, folks, so I'm doing two weeks worth of shows to help raise both funds and awareness for her cause. Your participation will be greatly appreciated.
My friend Joanna has an organization which uses the unfairly maligned Bull Terrier as therapy dogs. She can't do it alone, folks, so I'm doing two weeks worth of shows to help raise both funds and awareness for her cause. Your participation will be greatly appreciated.
Then again thinking back on some of the things I've done amongst the trees, thickets, and moors, I probably already have.
It was expected. Sadly. Not twenty-four hours after Bin Laden was destroyed, the pretentious, self-righteous pantywaists are saying civilized folk wouldn't celebrate his death because - are you sitting down? - he was was human too. Excuse me while I get my sickness bag. It's got Bin Laden's face on it.
America built a good portion of it's greatness upon our ability to rally together in times of need. The horrific storms that struck Tuscaloosa, etc., and are now reaching up to New England provide yet another chance for us to set aside differences and come together as a caring, cohesive whole.
Without a doubt, 99.9% of the people who have stabbed me in the back throughout my life have claimed to be Christian. If I'm wrong and Jesus does indeed exist, these folk are in for one Hell of an afterlife.
There's a very real chance of severe storms here this afternoon, which is why my closet is fully stocked (I'll explain on the show), the sunflowers are already three inches high, and there are idiots claiming to have formed the first "Satanic Alliance". It's going to be one of those shows...
Sure I've had my share of potholes, bellyflops, and flying bricks, but my life continues to be one of happiness, love, and world dominat- Huh?
Their mind-numbing pablum is laughed at by the intellectually sound, but there are many who believe everything they say - despite science, history, and common sense. The Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation has worked hard to fight against such potentially dangerous lunacy over the last quarter century, and will continue to do so.
True egotistic, atheistic Satanism has always focused upon the bettering of the Self through education, experience, and introspection. Since the late 1980s it has been infested by schoolyard cowards who dreamt of power, and the bullies who wanted even more. When all is said and done and the vitriol stops spewing, the nouveau-satanist is at once both the coward and bully who quickly falls into the trap of believing his/her own lies.
The rigid format of recurring shows at a set schedule is not for me. So I'll once again do these whenever I damn well please.
The five nights a week format just wasn't worth it; I have a life, and I'm not being paid enough to set my schedule aside each night to do this. My guest this evening is my wife.
Insight, opinion, and truth by the world's most recognizable and successful purveyor of True Satanism.
We're expecting temps as high as 81 and I'm loving it! Too bad I have a groin pull and can't play in the dirt...
Insight, opinion, and truth by the world's most recognizable and successful purveyor of True Satanism.
Insight, opinion, and truth by the world's most recognizable and successful purveyor of True Satanism.
Insight, opinion, and truth by the world's most recognizable and successful purveyor of True Satanism.
The Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation can legitimately boast a global membership featuring folks from Antarctica to Africa, from Detroit to Drumnadrochit. Throughout our twenty-five years of existence I've offered personal access that no one else can claim, thus why I do most of my YouTube videos and BTR shows. I've done programs at 3 A.M. for members who wanted to hear it live and call in, and that was the only time they could do so. I deeply respect the WCSL members and have no problem going the extra mile for them. Today's show is for a gentleman in Finland who Joined three days ago and will listen with a group of his buddies. Not doubt all will be drunk.
I say it often and I mean it; life is good. But don't worry, I'll find something to bitch about.
From it's inception, the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation has stood firm against bigotry of any type. Whereas the Church of Satan and it's clones seemed to turn a blind eye to members who were clearly racist, I stated from the beginning that the WCSL was a reflection of the modern, homogeneous, and all-inclusive society we lived in, and no one would be excluded based on ethnicity or sexuality. For twenty-five years the WCSL has been proud to boast the most diverse and eclectic membership of any Satanic group on Earth. Unfortunately the popularity and easy access of the internet has helped in the creation of a plethora of hate groups - many under the guise of Satanism. It's become a popular and quite possibly dangerous sub-culture that needs to be watched closely.
Today I will be channeling the thankfully dead Howard Levey (Anton LaVey), founder of the Church of Satan and author of the collection of idiocy known as the Satanic Bible.
Ten minutes ago my wife got t-boned by some idiot in a Cadillac who swore he didn't see her. She's safe but sore. The show I had planned for today was already going to be another one of my extremely popular and much downloaded bitchfests, Mary's accident adds even more fuel to my fire.
For a quarter century the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation has been THE Satanic organization for those who embrace Satanism for what it is - egotistical atheism (which is why it is at once both celebrated and reviled). Today's show will be an examination of where the WCSL has succeeded and the mercifully few mistakes that were made along the way.
The solstice is nigh and I swear I can hear my garden calling out: "Paul! Paul! Come sink your trowel deep inside of me!"
I really should stop drinking so early...
So the new era of BlogTalkRadio.com has kicked in. Those of us who don't pay for the "premium" service ($399 per year for the basic package) have been relegated to a mere thirty minutes per show/per day. Quite possibly this evening's show will be a failed attempt to compress all that is me into a half hour. Feel free to tune in to what may be a train wreck of monumental proportions. I know at least I'LL have fun.
On this day I celebrate not only my 55th birthday but the 25th anniversary of the world's largest, best, and most controversial Satanic organization— the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation. For a quarter century we have refused to play by anyone’s rules but our own, and proudly set the standard for what true Satanism is: egotistical atheism. Feel free to join in and share the celebration!
I know I said today's show was scrapped, but my girl wants me to do it. Sooooo... My kids rule.
On January 8, 2011, I will have three things to celebrate: my 55th birthday, the 25th anniversary of the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation, and my last day as Director of the aforementioned organization. Tonight's show will be a retrospective and feature the incoming WCSL director Jonathan Scungio.
Whether you're home or on a break at work, there is nothing better than spending that time with me. And really, whom else consistently lasts at least ninety minutes? No one.
New-Age Satanists are disillusioned by the fact that true Satanism is no more or less than egotistical atheism. To compensate, dozens of self-professed Satanic "churches" have sprung up run by, and populated with, a pathetic collection of angst-ridden sociopaths who believe in an actual sentient force they reverently call Satan, and seek to form a central "Satanic hub". Besides being potentially dangerous, these fools are quite simply wrong.
Andrew Ryan Skelton, 9, Alexander William Skelton, 7, and Tanner Lucas Skelton, 5 have been missing from their father's home in Morenci, MI since Friday. Their father said he gave them to a woman he met on the internet before his failed attempt at suicide. And it gets worse. Tonight's show may not be pleasant but I need to vent.
I am the best example of productive and superior human evolution. And should you disagr- Damn! I'm out of beer. BRB
A lady from my home town asked me to do a show today, and that's all that needs to be said.
I will be bowing out as director of the WCSL on January 8, 2011. It's time for me to focus upon more immediate things like family. Though I don't regret a moment of it, twenty-five years is enough.
A tad more than one hundred downloads here on BTR are needed to reach 51,000. If that doesn't prove the global interest in both me and the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation, don't forget your helmets and tell the shortbus driver I said hello.
Oh yeah - Happy 43rd Birthday, Lee!!!
I'll be addressing the morons who are voting Republican just because our President is black, and the twits with no background in business and finance who claim not only that TARP hasn't worked, but the auto industry bailout was unnecessary.
Or I may just do the usual and speak for 90 minutes about how wonderful I am.
Unlike the rest, I truly care for my fans and the WCSL members.
Well, depending on my beer supply of course.
He just called from the airport and asked me to do a BTR show so he could listen to it when he gets back home to San Diego. I'm his dad, I'm going to say no?
I had a great time with you, son. Next time try to stay longer than eighteen hours. That's right, I counted! Love you!
For years I've been ridiculed for my shameless self-promotion by those who should know better, especially those who call themselves Satanists. I couldn't care less. I know what true Satanism is and I refuse to let the rants from inbred, unwashed fools derail my cause.
(Actually 7006) We did it! The Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation can legitimately lay claim to seven thousand paid members since its birth on 1/8/1986. Thanks to all who wanted to be along for the ride!
It's friggin' 84 degrees here. Also I'll touch on subjects such as Eddie Long, Peter Gilmore, Boyd Rice, and Reiki.
One of the best aspects of the internet is it's ability to shine the clarifying light of truth on fools. For decades my detractors used every trick in the book to discredit me and screamed in frustration as each attempt failed. Now they're getting really desperate; the proof being the gutter level aspersions they've been casting via YouTube, BlogTalk, and numerous chat rooms. Obviously they're too stupid to understand it doesn't hurt me in the least. And never shall.
A very dear friend of mine is laid up due to injury and asked me to do a show this evening. We saw Linda Ronstadt together thirty-one years ago and during the show I proposed to her. Rightly so she balked. Ah well, our daughter is amazing and fortunately more like her mom than me. Except in appearance; Roseanna looks like a female me.
I rarely do early morning shows but it's a glorious day outside, breakfast with my wife was great, and I'm in the mood.
To avoid the show ending eighteen minutes in due to the phone dying, today I shall attempt it via Skype.
I know it isn't autumn yet but based on the weather outside it feels like it, and this is when I begin to get most wistful. The chill in the air, the wind, the scents: all work successfully to focus my mind on those I've loved and lost.
It may not happen in my lifetime, but the natural evolution of humanity dictates that a civilized society must recognize any acceptance of myth and magic as being reality for what it is - dangerous and counter-productive.
It's occasionally stressful being the best, but someone has to do it and really, seriously, I'm the only one who can pull it off.
Arrogant, self-righteous bastards are already chastising me because I've had a few beers. Not surprisingly they are the same losers who trash me no matter what. Yawn! I don't live for the gutter snipes.
Religious zealots of any stripe are a pain in the butt and often outright dangerous, yet the born-agains tend to be the most annoying.
I will be filling these ninety minutes with stories about how many places my Mr. Wanky has been. Or not.
If Crowley can claim this crap so can I! Like LaVey, he was disgusting and a total charlatan. How sad that losers still embrace both.
Tonight's show focuses on the ethereal energy found within Hot Pockets. Also, Simon Keller will buzz his head LIVE! All proceeds will go to the Jesus Was An Egyptian fund.
Don't want to fry on the hot sand? Rather not gag at the sight of wildebeests in string bikinis? Well then grab a beer, lean back in the La-Z-Boy, and enjoy another rip-roaring episode of The Naked Satanist!
What better way to cool off in this oppressive heat than to grab an ice cool adult beverage and listen to me?
Take two. The noon show had to be ended early but I don't want my fans to feel cheated so I rescheduled it. Be there or go f**k yourselves.
If I have to add anything to that? Do us all a favour and arrange for your sorely needed dirt nap.
All twelve of my BTR listeners asked me to slate a show for today so they can be there live. Being the man I am with a firm understanding of the fact that my fans are why I am indeed a cultural icon and international Satanic superstar, I agreed. You little bastards better show.
It's a beautiful day, my health is fine, I'm in a good mood, yet all this is tempered by the loss of the lovely Lucia. Today's show will be a general mishmash as usual, but I'll be offering anecdotes about a truly beautiful lady I was honoured to have as a friend.
I understand that to function as a productive member of society, life demands a level of maturity in both? interaction and decision making. Nevertheless, I refuse to lock away my extremely vital inner child; I've seen just how destructive that has been for those who do.
Je n'ai pas parlé français depuis que j'étais un enfant et une famille rendue visite à Montréal, satisfais ainsi soutiens avec moi. Je vous déteste tout.
Among other things, this episode will be a challenge to the detractors, haters, and trolls who trash me from the security of their dank subterranean hovels. Sober up, folks! You can do it. Now pick up the phone...
It's been claimed that Fangoria magazine's Scream Greats Vol. 2: Satanism & Witchcraft killed the series, but that is absolute nonsense. What ended it was not anger at and rejection of this installment by Fangoria readers and horror fans in general, but instead the company's own disinterest in continuing it. My pride in this is not just the fact that it features me and my then fledgling (one month old) Church of Satanic Liberation. Rather it is a valuable expose of factions on both ends of the spectrum - including mine, warts and all. That and the film clips are priceless. In its initial release, the truly disturbing parts of this production were the obvious psychopaths claiming to have been witness to child sacrifice; acts which NEVER took place. According to an FBI report several years later, the whole "Satanic child abuse" hysteria was groundless, including reports by women claiming they'd been raised to be "breeders for Satan". There are indeed comedic aspects. I believe the Warrens and Lady Rhea steal the show here, surpassing even my all too obvious drug induced (Comtrex and beer) ramblings. Why? They took their nonsense and themselves seriously. That was a trap I never allowed myself to fall into. I've invited several members of the crew to take part. We'll have to wait and see. Overall, Scream Greats Vol. 2 is an interesting, important, and comical look into a major social issue of its time. Watch it with an open mind.
It's a mostly ignored truth that the majority of those who embrace Satanism are under-educated and socially challenged. On the other hand, Wicca/witchcraft can point to some of the most astute minds in history as founders, members, and teachers. There is no denying that the Left Hand Path has its share of silliness, but better that than the darkness, anger, and violence that Satanism is so good at fomenting and encouraging.
My dear friend Diana has a twenty acre no-kill animal refuge featuring over thirty cats, several oppossum, vultures, and even a groundhog. She and her husband are hard workers with their own environmental services business, but the economy's bellyflop and last winter's record snowfall have hit them hard. In an attempt to help a truly wonderful lady and her cause, I will do a show at this hour each evening from tonight until April 14th to hopefully raise both awareness and cash. All donations will go directly to her account, and I'll spice things up with special offers. Thank you.
My dear friend Diana has a twenty acre no-kill animal refuge featuring over thirty cats, several oppossum, vultures, and even a groundhog. She and her husband are hard workers with their own environmental services business, but the economy's bellyflop and last winter's record snowfall have hit them hard. In an attempt to help a truly wonderful lady and her cause, I will do a show at this hour each evening from tonight until April 14th to hopefully raise both awareness and cash. All donations will go directly to her account, and I'll spice things up with special offers. Thank you.
My dear friend Diana has a twenty acre no-kill animal refuge featuring over thirty cats, several oppossum, vultures, and even a groundhog. She and her husband are hard workers with their own environmental services business, but the economy's bellyflop and last winter's record snowfall have hit them hard. In an attempt to help a truly wonderful lady and her cause, I will do a show at this hour each evening from tonight until April 14th to hopefully raise both awareness and cash. All donations will go directly to her account, and I'll spice things up with special offers. Thank you.
My dear friend Diana has a twenty acre no-kill animal refuge featuring over thirty cats, several oppossum, vultures, and even a groundhog. She and her husband are hard workers with their own environmental services business, but the economy's bellyflop and last winter's record snowfall have hit them hard. In an attempt to help a truly wonderful lady and her cause, I will do a show at this hour each evening from tonight until April 14th to hopefully raise both awareness and cash. All donations will go directly to her account, and I'll spice things up with special offers. Thank you.
My dear friend Diana has a twenty acre no-kill animal refuge featuring over thirty cats, several oppossum, vultures, and even a groundhog. She and her husband are hard workers with their own environmental services business, but the economy's bellyflop and last winter's record snowfall have hit them hard. In an attempt to help a truly wonderful lady and her cause, I will do a show at this hour each evening from tonight until April 14th to hopefully raise both awareness and cash. All donations will go directly to her account, and I'll spice things up with special offers. Thank you.
My dear friend Diana has a twenty acre no-kill animal refuge featuring over thirty cats, several oppossum, vultures, and even a groundhog. She and her husband are hard workers with their own environmental services business, but the economy's bellyflop and last winter's record snowfall have hit them hard. In an attempt to help a truly wonderful lady and her cause, I will do a show at this hour each evening from tonight until April 14th to hopefully raise both awareness and cash. All donations will go directly to her account, and I'll spice things up with special offers. Thank you.
My dear friend Diana has a twenty acre no-kill animal refuge featuring over thirty cats, several oppossum, vultures, and even a groundhog. She and her husband are hard workers with their own environmental services business, but the economy's bellyflop and last winter's record snowfall have hit them hard. In an attempt to help a truly wonderful lady and her cause, I will do a show at this hour each evening from tonight until April 14th to hopefully raise both awareness and cash. All donations will go directly to her account, and I'll spice things up with special offers. Thank you.
I had the pleasure of speaking with someone who”s made an extremely lucrative living by knowing the business, and was honoured by his following statement: “With your ability to keep your name and product viable for twenty-five years you are, yes, a cultural icon. You knew the value of selling out and never apologized. I can’t see me buying any of your things or joining your group but I respect your tenacity and self-deprecating humour.” I can’t wait for the trolls to challenge me on the “meme” bit.
An incident which occurred this morning underscored the awful reality of how children are far too often used as pawns, bargaining chips, and excuses. It must stop.
I can't help but suppress a chuckle and bite my lip when the self-righteous advocates of "organic" gardening chitter and squeal at my use of Miracle-Gro, proving they are yet another pathetic group of sheep with no science? behind them.
Desperation, frustration; one can hear the gnashing of teeth. I love it! TNS continues with another show focusing on true Satanism (i.e. me) as many watch in awe and scream "How did he do it? We were so sure!"
You'd think people would know by now that so long as I bear the mirror to the soul and the torch of truth I will win in the end. Is that bubble wrap I hear a poppin' or...?
It's hard not to be amused by those who claim an intimate knowledge of Satanism while failing to grasp what it truly entails. They act as if it's an extension of the occult but it most definitely is not. On tonight's show I'll give my take on the difference between true atheistic Satanism and actual devil worship, and I'll explain why I have no patience for dolts who either literally or figuratively pray to and genuflect before still another man-made entity. i shall also admit to my thirty-five year involvement in the Left Hand Path — thus the show's title.
It’s sad that this far into the 21st century there are still millions of the unwashed masses embracing the belief that the United States government is there only to enslave us. This show will address that idiocy.
Major differences separating me and the commoners include not just my goods looks, intellect, wit, and compassion, but also the fact that I ALWAYS admit when I'm wrong.
The Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation has reached yet another milestone no other Satanic organization can claim - 6000 paid members! This show will focus on the WCSL, it's inception, and where it has succeeded and — according to some — failed.
Listening to this show will be an absolute waste of time and may be a breach of national security.
You’d think the elitists who embrace Satanism would do their best to illustrate why it’s worth the time and effort. But noooo! Most of those who take the label are charlatans and little more than misanthropes and social pariahs playing dress up.
Anyone who has spent even minimal time in any area of the occult must in all fairness admit to the pretentiousness, misplaced egotism, and calumny rampant within it. Tonight's show will focus on those who have centred me in their crosshairs over the years, and their less than mature responses when the light of truth exposes them for the backbiting, dishonest vermin they are.
The term Satanist is thrown about carelessly with little regard for its actual meaning. Very few understand that legitimate Satanism was built upon the unbridled magical truth and energy found in Socks. The Talismans of the Toes
Valentine's Day. Is any time more appropriate for the total destruction of my haters and trolls? Nope.
This show will feature an appearance by my wife.
The dumbing down of America (and society in general) has been occurring for decades, yet the internet, net speak, apathy, and namby-pamby political correctness have been important catalysts in it’s breathtaking acceleration. Then there’s the ability to instantly make “friends” just because they add you to this that and the other thing. I refuse to be part of it.
The first half of 2009 was easily the most successful point in The Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation's history. Our membership spurt was surprising even for me, and personal appearance deals have guaranteed that early 2010 will be both busy and quite interesting. The last six months of '09 were quiet where the WCSL was concerned, but my personal life was anything but — a small act of kindness set the stage for a young boy and his mom becoming surrogate family; supposed friends decided my wardrobe was in need of a bull's eye; old loves from decades past resurfaced:new friends blessed me with their presence; and once again my sexual dalliances of the 80s resulted in a child I knew nothing about. I need a nap.
As most know by now, Ronnie James Dio was diagnosed with stomach cancer last week. Everyone I've spoken with says it was caught very early, has not spread, and the prognosis is very good. The show will focus on the man, his music, and his heart of gold.
Did you hear? I'm guilty of everything from theft to abuse. Jesus... Remember, folks, I've said from the beginning that I'm the LAST person one should put on a pedestal. Allow me to be me and you won't feel the need to make me into someone or something I am not. And If who and/or what I am isn't enough? Bite me.
This afternoon I had an interesting discussion with my son Christopher about friendship, family, and the very real need to occasionally cut and run. There comes a time where one must stand their ground and demand that individuals who constantly ask for more prove their own worth. I refuse to be a patsy.
My challenge still stands. Jason Hawes, Grant Wilson, Steve Gonsalves, Dave Tango; take me on. I dare you to bring in a true skeptic. I'm not against show business (obviously!) but do any of you care that you're perpetrating bullsh*t?
In too many instances, those who embrace and claim me as a "friend" are psychotic and freakish nurturers who see me as a cause, a mission, a reason to smile at their reflection. STOP! I'm not your emotional sustenance. Accept me as who and what I am or leave. I have as much a right to my opinion as you. The pond I swim in is mine.
The fact I just don't care about theism/metaphysics in general has garnered my the label of 'apathetic' which, to anyone who knows me, is as silly as it gets. The difference between those who embrace theism and metaphysics (while eschewing science) and me is quite simple; they are repulsed by the very real possibility this is all there is, while I embrace the atheistic concept and live my life accordingly. Though they label me a disbeliever, I am not. I am a skeptic, a nonbeliever. Big difference, folks.
Last night's attempt imploded eighty-seven seconds into the show. Ah well... I'm a trooper who realizes just how much your getting through the day depends on hearing my voice. I love you all! ...Riiiiiight...
Apparently the mentally ill who think yellow Play-Doh tastes best didn't quite get my last show. This is for them.
I hate you all.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that the main reasons I'm reviled and the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation is slammed, are my wonderful personality and the WCSL's success. The clueless accuse me of not being a "real" while the covetous grind their teeth in dismay at each new member the WCSL acquires. I'm sure it's no surprise to most that I wouldn't change it for anything.
While I'll be on three different continents representing the WCSL early next year, my detractors are still waving the PDValentine is a fraud banner. Sad but predictable. Also, my last show was quite an emotional roller-coaster for me due to an appearance by my daughter Amanda. Too bad I didn't see the e-mail she sent me several minutes into it. Rather I noticed it the next morning. It trashes me from start to finish and will be read in it's entirety today with point by point rebuttals.
I'm still the best, most entertaining, most talked about, and overall cute and lovable Director/Magus/High Priest/Grand Poobah in Satanism.
You'll get it unless you spend your alone time picking nits off your mate - and eating them.
I have said for years that there haven't been enough abortions, It was basically done to annoy the far-right born-again freaks, and I didn't really believe it. Now I'm not so sure...
And no doubt the fact I'm such an all-around amazingly wonderful person plays a significant part.
(Did I mention the Joy of Satan is easily one of the most laughable "Satanic" clubs out there? I'll explain why.)
Random Saturday silliness. I'll be covering topics ranging from why I believe Beefaroni is an Illuminati plot to Debbie Gibson being hot.
Anton LaVey was human garbage. He beat his wife, his pets, put his children in dangerous situations, and did NOTHING about the fact his daughter Zeena was raped and impregnated as a thirteen-year-old. Then again her mother was equally silent... Nice family. Yet there are those who worship the ground this dysfunctional group walked on, and believe his mostly plagiarized Satanic Bible is Holy Scripture. These genuflecting sychophants should never breed.
The occult is no less infected by parasites than any other belief system. Elitists thinking their excrement doesn't stink to the drug addled and alcohol soaked cretins; tonight I offer them an open forum to explain the vitriol and lies they've aimed at me over the tears. I'm betting no one shows.
Racists of ANY bent (whites, blacks, asians, Mexican, etc) need to grow up. And sexists? Get a hobby!
It's been an exhausting five days. A great deal of introspection occurred but ultimately I came to the conclusion I shall NEVER be stymied by those who choose to judge based on an image they refuse to understand.
While I'm the last person to chastise anyone for a healthy embrace of the past, stagnation occurs when one chooses to live there. Trust me, folks, I understand how easy it can be to want to live on beautiful memories, but nothing good comes out of looking backwards while life is moving full speed ahead.
While pretentious occultists embrace spending a vast portion of their lives reading meaningless, boring, and irrelevant books dealing with, well, meaningless, boring, and irrelevant garbage, the WCSL is intent on education in the fine art of Nothingness.
I’m always amused by the envious bile duct scrapings who trash me for my techniques and business acumen, yet emulate me the moment they get an audience. I call them out this evening. John Allee, Lillee Allee (Lisa Chapman), Tani can-you-be-any-crazier-than-I Jantsang, Peter (Rodentboy) Gilmore, Peggy what’s-wrong-with-goose-stepping Nadramia, Stanton I’m proud-of-my-father-even-though-he-knocked-up-a-13-year-old LaVey, Ygraine Gabrielle Mitchell (née Gidney), every eyeliner-wearing poof wiccan with his sham wife; we’ll see if they can live up to their own hype by joining in the discussion.
Relationships are complicated we know, but occasionally they implode/explode for no logical reason. If you're unfortunate enough to be the recipient of the fallout you soon realise sometimes it's best to cut your losses and run.
Ronnie James Dio — arguably the finest voice in Heavy Metal — turns 67 today and I would be remiss if I didn’t pay tribute to both the man and his music. Tonight’s show will feature both classic cuts and gems from the rare soundboard recording of the Milwaukee 1994 Birthday Show. AND! As a bonus the fifth caller gets a free copy of it — no matter where in the world you live!
In honour of Independence Day, this evening’s show will celebrate not only the United States of America being without a doubt the greatest country on Earth, but also the WCSL’s global recognition as THE pre-eminent Satanic organisation.
The WCSL has reached the 4700 paid member pinnacle! This evening’s show looks back at the inception of The WCSL and all who helped influence me, the organization, and my desire to expose the Church of Satan for the sham it is. I’ll also reveal the cool offer we have if we can acquire 5000 paid members by New Years Eve.
For the last twenty-three years June 8th has been Vilify A Vegan Day when all good PDV lovin’ WCSL members (and Satanists in general) expose those self-righteous, pretentious pri*ks for what they are. From stuffing their mailboxes with Whoppers, to leaving slaughterhouse sounds on their voicemail, we red-blooded carnivores will not allow vegans to stay long atop their ivory towers. Nay we say! Drag them kicking and screaming to a barbeque and force them to watch Babe rotate on the spit! Squeal like a pig, boy! Squeal like a pig.
I promised one of the most important people in my life that I'd stop drinking until July 4th (I know, I know, but baby steps are better than nothing), and today is day two. I'm edgy, my hands are shaking, and I want to throw things at my doves who refuse too shut up. But otherwise it sure is a fine day!
I hate you all.
Many believe that yesterday is nothing more than one's vault for memories, but the fertile ground our experiences were cultivated in is equally capable of bringing forth the ability to lift veils and open doors - to allow us the chance of bridging many chasms. My life is proof of that.
If the psycho born-again Christers had an ounce of common sense they'd know only fiscal Satanism can save the best system on Earth - capitalism.
I met Father Bernard twenty-one years ago in a tiny cafe in Westville, CT. He'd heard of me and told a local store owner he would like to meet me, so I was quite interested in what he had to say. We spent three hours in the cafe before we headed back to his home/chapel where the conversation continued until 2 AM. An amazing man who believes the church was destroyed by Vatican 2, he was quite vocal about his disdain for Pope John Paul 2 and his belief that priests molesting kids should be shot. Father Bernard has an amazing sense of humour and absolutely brilliant but he's French - which means he's also completely insane. Nevertheless I dearly love the man and I am elevated by his friendship.
I've always said proudly (and loudly) that with me what you see is what you get. I didn't lie.
I have a child who made her existence known seven years ago when she was twenty-three. She is jaw-dropping beautiful and brilliant but, as with her mother, her disconnect with reality is all too obvious; thus making any chance at a normal father and daughter relationship nearly impossible. Today she used my brother’s death as an excuse to once again trash me and, quite frankly, I’ve had enough. Call this intervention or me just screaming at shadows, but I’m calling her out.
Despite what some choose to believe, I am not stupid or naive. Thus when I began the YouTube and BlogTalkRadio publicity building for the WCSL, I was well aware of the potential pitfalls and danger. Face it, for every ten or so good folk, a few whack jobs are lurking and waiting to pounce on those of us who have happy, loving, and productive lives. Their demented minds foment plans ranging from character assassination to outright physical harm. Who can say what urges them on? What experiences fractured their logic and blackened their souls? Quite honestly I don't care. But any of them who dare to get too close to me or my family will regret it.
Tonight's BlogTalkRadio show will showcase me as the global star I am. Maybe - just maybe! - I'll touch on subjects other than me.
Nicolas Sarkozy is a fool. If America cares whether or not he walks out on President Obama during the G20 Summit we are pathetic. When was the last time France was relevant? And by the way? Our wines are far superior.
Join us as we celebrate The Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation surpassing the 4500 paid membership mark, my YouTube videos receiving over one million views, and the scurrying of our detractors back beneath their rocks.
Don't ask... Tonight’s show will feature appearances by Cap’n Crunch, Malibu Barbie, Anton Gilmore, Julia Child, and some weird fuzzy chick.
Anyone familiar with my organization knows it has always been as legitimate and transparent as possible and WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) was the rule from day one. As the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation grew into the global force it is, the Church of Satan and its "hierarchy" pummeled it and me every chance it got. Now The WCSL sits atop the peak and guess what? You got it! The attacks are nonstop... In tonight's show I call on any CoS member to add their voice and explain why they are so afraid of the competition.
How interesting... Many Christians are supporting me and a large chunk of so-called Satanists are trying to destroy me.
It's fun being me!
On January 8, join me as I celebrate both my fifty-third birthday and the twenty-third anniversary of the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation’s inception. 2009 promises to be an important and fascinating year for us, and it begins with the reformatted Paul Douglas Valentine Show. Potential guests include Jason King, St. Francis of Assisi, his buddy the sultan Melek-el-Kamel, Venus Satanas, Edgar Cayce, Elvis, and John of Patmos. (Guest list subject to change without notice!) Did I mention I got a horse for Christmas and you didn't? I hate you all.
The most important asset to a true (i.e. atheistic) Satanist is a great sense of humour. Unfortunately theistic Satanists in general seem incapable of understanding the daily need for a good laugh.
The WCSL logos and name are considered the most recognized and promoted of any Satanic organization in the world. And me? A year-long online WCSL survey (with 2300 avowed Satanists making up 60% of participants) suggests my name recognition nearly matches that of Anton LaVey and is far greater than Peter Gilmore's. It's wonderful being me!
(This is a redo of last night's show which was truncated and deleted by me.)
A bunch of shows on various networks purport proof of legitimate “hauntings”, etc. I say bullsh*t.
The WCSL continues to insinuate itself into the global marketplace. Our ranking as the world’s premier Satanic organization remains firm and unchallenged.
Apparently my detractors are too dense to understand that all the free publicity adds to my popularity and bank account — AND that I’m orchestrating it all.
Hear that sardonic laughter? That’s the Satanic investor making money as the fraidy cats mew in terror.
While organizations such as the Church of Satan, First Church of Satan, Joy of Satan continue to steadily decline in membership and relevance, The WCSL is the Satanic Energizer Bunny©.
What else can be said? This show will honour the Master of Metal.
Maybe this time BTR will be working properly...
The show last evening was truncated due to BlogTalkRadio having a glitch. Here’s hoping tonight’s broadcast is error free.
This is an invitation to all my detractors: call in and prove your worth. It won't happen of course, but aren't dreams fun?"
Got questions? Ask them. Compliments? Let’s hear them. Insults? Bring ‘em on. Money to spend? I’ve got just the place for you! Today’s show will also include fan and hate mail, music, and of course my unique perspectives on life, love, and the wonder that is Me.
The WCSL Store’s biggest seller is the thong. We offer several images but the most favoured are those featuring me. Tonight we will explore the global phenomenon known as Paul Douglas Valentine — International Satanic Superstar. For those of you who think a seven course meal is a ring of kielbasa and a six-pack, this means the show is all about ME.
Yet another idiotic stereotype the mentally deficients rampant within the Occult tend to embrace. Kind of like the moronic “High Priests” who form their own “churches” and take on the Anton LaVey look. Jesus... This is a chance to hear from those who indulge in all that nonsense. If they dare call in...
Any ethnic group believing their bloodline is better than another’s is idiotic and not very educated in recent genetics finds about common ancestry. The worst of the bunch seems to be the white pride/aryan psychos. If you’ve ever watched their YouTube videos and read their comments, well, you quickly understand that their philosophy is rarely embraced by anyone with an education and teeth. Jesus...
Reports have it that The Hambuglar, Wendy, Big Boy, Li'l Debbie, the Pillsbury Doughboy, Mrs. Butterworth, Aunt Jemima, George Michael, and Captain Morgan were guests.
(National F**ktard League) With every show and YouTube video I produce, more and more of the mentally unstable focus their spittle-spewing vitriol on me. I’m obviously doing something right.
People are generally ignorant. Look, I’m not a misanthrope — nor am I a sociopath. Nevertheless, in my fifty-two years I’ve noticed that people tend to eschew logic for comfort. This really needs to change.
It‘s bad enough to have the images of 9/11 rammed down our throats yet another year, but this is like Halloween for the conspiracy theorists. They care NOTHING for those who died and/or their families. I dare Alex Jones and his ilk to call in.
My guests will be Ahura Mazda, Tiamat, Buddha, Jesus, The Great Spirit, Allah, Yahweh, Satan, Kali, Enki, Damballah, Odin, Set, and Jughead.
My friend Jason King makes his first appearance on The Naked Satanist. For those of you barely past writing in the dirt with a stick, make sure you have your dictionary and thesaurus handy; Jason is not the typical knuckle-dragging, semi-literate, borderline articulate Satanist. He‘s a lot like me (though I’m much more cute and loveable).
The silly Christers believe Sunday is their sabbath. I say bollocks! As I am a true international Satanic superstar (and a god in many eyes) I now claim this day as mine, and it shall henceforth be known as Son (of Doug) Day. You may all pay homage this evening at 5:30.
Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick pleaded guilty to two felonies and was immediately removed from office. This arrogant thug got what he deserved. Detroit is a great city and it needs better leadership, and hopefully this will lead to just that.
Also, I’m getting really sick of people wearing their heritage as a badge of honour that cannot be questioned or lampooned. It’s the INDIVIDUAL not the bloodline.
The new breed of Satanists believe the Al-Jilwah, the so-called "Black Book of Satan", was dictated by Satan himself to 12th century Yezidi prophet Sheik Adi. Riiiight.
These two extremists care nothing about individual rights or the Constitution. And in my ladies opinions she's putting her career before her children — especially her newborn Down Syndrome baby. Yeah... We need HER a heartbeat away from the presidency.
These two extremists care nothing about individual rights or the Constitution. And in my ladies opinions she's putting her career before her children — especially her newborn Down Syndrome baby. Yeah... We need HER a heartbeat away from the presidency.
For the entirety of the twenty-two year history of the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation, Both the organisation and I have been the recipiants of an interesting array of insults, accusations, and outright threats. This evening I address all that AND challenge those behind it to respond. That includes Jack Winters (Lucindio666), Lord Egan (John Allee), Kenny Pruitt, Jim Von Helton, Rex Church, and Peter Gilmore.”
Yesterday’s two attempts at shows (6 & 11) were an embarrassing disaster. Let’s see how today goes. My guest will be Chloe815 (Saundra/Sexy Legs).
There are some f**ked up people out there, and for some reason they have focused on me. Just call me a mutant magnet.
I’ve tried various formats and show times and have concluded the original is the best: weeknights at 6 - 7 PM eastern.
With the exception of Ronnie James Dio’s, my groupies/fans are the best on Earth. And I explain why.
I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour.
(If you believe that nonsense? Kill yourselves.)
I’m honoured by it. The fact so many people think I’m worth their time and angst is amazing.
I became a last minute baby-sitter (and still recovering from last night’s Motorhead, Heaven & Hell, Judas Priest show).
This piece of human garbage challenges Anton LaVey for the Most Disgusting and Psychotic Individuals in Occultism award.
For years I’ve been slammed by radical theists and deists for embracing atheism. Also, from the beginning I’ve posited that a belief in gods, demons, etc., is a sure sign of mental illness. This show will hopefully bait some of my detractors to call in to attempt coherent explanations of their silly convictions..
The dumbing down of America is crippling us; too many people of questionable breeding stock are producing dullards who embrace every idiotic conspiracy theory out there, and our educational system (especially in the south) is close to worthless.
The grandkids are here so tonight's show should be interesting. There will be, of course, no cursing, swearing, or coarse language. 100% kid friendly. Don’t like it? Tough.
Everything from Mothman, Ouija, Tarot, Sasquatch, 9/11, and alien abductions. Wednesdays will be when I focus even more on silliness and the loons who embrace it.
I invite any whackjob to call in today. That includes Josh Skye, David Icke, Jim Von Helton, Jeff Peckman, etc. We’ll talk about Bohemian Grove/human sacrifice, ancient Martian civilizations, Greys — whatever.
But come armed with more than anecdotal evidence.
So many of you lost sleep, threatened suicide, and sought psychiatric help due to my absence, I feel it’s my duty to return. For personal reasons I should wait longer, but you — my legions of loyal fans — need me.