Encouraging Being with Jay Close: Recent Episodes
Jay Close
These short episodes are like a mini-retreat with Jay, who is working on being in the moment with you. Jay is an “Encouraging Being” who is encouraging "Being” in you as an alternative to constant doing and thinking. Let Jay encourage you to be in each of your present moments. You may find the peacefulness and contentedness that can come from getting in touch with yourself and God. Life is hard. And we are overwhelmed by the pandemic and life's demands. But you were created by God with peace inside you. You just have to take regular time to look for and experience it.
Some people, relatives included, make your life difficult. Why not just cut them off? They may be toxic or they may just take a lot of effort. Your life might be easier without them. So, act as if they moved to another state and have no contact.
Or maybe there is another way...
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Your breath can agitate or calm. Of course you breathe naturally, but with just a bit of effort you can develop a tool to help you find calm in your storms.
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From the news to your own life, things can get to be too much to handle. Lately that seems more likely than ever. Wars, crises, personal problems all add up to go beyond our ability to cope. Here are some ideas to help.
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Deferring maintenance is a sure way to breakdown. And not just with our cars, houses, or machinery but with you! Go too long and the cost of repair is much higher. Listen up for maintaining your unique self.
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If you find it easy to relax, you don't need this podcast. But if you drive yourself so hard that you never let down, then you need to learn to relax. If you struggle with the anxiety so common to so many now, then you need to learn to relax. Our personal lives plus the wars and weather crises in the news fuel fear and worry. But you can learn to do something about it. Listen for a different way.
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Wonder is all around and in us. It's good for you! I challenge you to find ways you might invite more wonder into your life. Why? Because it deepens your insight, expands your experience of your world, and might make you a better person!
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Are you staying busy and keeping up with your social media? Are you keeping everybody else happy? If so, you are probably out of touch, living life on autopilot, unaware of yourself and your impact on others.
Are you out of touch? This episode helps you see if you are, and tells you what to do about it.
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Everyone loves the holidays and everyone gets stressed. Take some time to settle down. Use some skills that are built into your system to grab a few moments away from the tension. Listen to this brief podcast and give yourself a break!
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When you see the sky it can reveal lots of things. it can be blue sky happy weather, dark sky ominous precipitation coming, or the smoke of a tragedy nearby. What do you see in your life? Are you looking? Once you see it, how do you understand and respond to it? This episode explores all this with some encouraging answers!
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It is our expectations of life that get us in trouble! If you didn't go into situations expecting things to go your way you wouldn't get so upset when they often don't. Expectations are a disease that we all have to varying degrees. Controlling dictator types are the worst, but you have it too, even in small things. We want family to behave certain ways, our work to go our way, even the weather to please us.
It's all a set up for frustration and resentment. But we can do something about it.
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When you watch someone die on your phone it is traumatic. When we learn shocking news almost continually we get overwhelmed. It shouldn't be this way, but it is. How to manage? How to not lose your mind or your emotional balance when the world is so crazy?
When we are wounded we need healing. We can't go on collecting wounds and ignore the urgent care we need. There's no cure for this, but there is help.
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We are often so hurried or preoccupied that we miss the sacred when it is right in front of us. What if we noticed more? You might see more if you slow down just a bit, looked and saw. And then you could also let yourself be seen!
Listen to this episode for some inspiration for seeing the sacred in the everyday.
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Wouldn't you like your view to be clear? Who wants obstructions in the way when they are trying to see? It is the same in life as in windows, we want to see what we are looking for, not clutter. But what can you do when there are obstructions? Fight reality or complain? Maybe there is another choice.
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Your life will be ruined if you choose wrong, right? It all hangs on each choice. Is decision making easy or hard for you? Do you fear making the wrong decisions? You might be surprised that there is some comfort in accepting your imperfection, your inability to know that each decision is the right one.
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Consider the joy of a box that holds useful things. We are like boxes ourselves, containers holding things. Sometimes we hold little, sometimes just right, often we hold too much. Look around you and see the boxes. They are there. And they are most useful when they hold just the right amount, not too much, not too little. For a lot of reasons, we lean toward holding too much. We should hold faith, commitment, love, and whatever style we are created to be. And we must let go of what we don’t need.
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The bucket of your life that is always pouring out. Lately it is not getting enough to refill it. Self-care isn’t keeping up with your sacrifice of time and attention on others. It seems impossible to keep up with the bad news as the stresses of our world have gotten worse. Listen in for some understanding and tips for carrying on in tough times!
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Have you noticed that your thoughts come and go all day? Each of us has our own internal running monolgue. Sometimes thoughts seem to chase and torment us. Other thoughts delight us. Either way, we can spend too much time on some of them. We may even "entertain them." Do you want to spend energy "entertaining" your thoughts? Or maybe it would be better to choose which thoughts you want to give time and energy!
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If you don't have the skill of interrupting you need it! Your life and contentment depends on it. Consider why and how to interrupt in your inner life so you can "take your thoughts captive" and not be captive to your thoughts!
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Good sleep requires preparation, and some mental discipline at times. First, put away all screens 30 minutes or more before lying down. Do exercise earlier as well. See your doctor if your lack of sleep is causing physical symptoms. This episode gives a method that has worked for Jay. And it relates to being more in the moment. It might just do the trick for you!
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Just for fun, here is an episode on spiders! Experiences with them and lessons from them. Don't underestimate small things, especially in nature.
See what you think!
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When the world around you seems to be going crazy, what can you do, where do you go to come back to center?
Your want to feel safe and grounded. Your nervous system is seeking balance. And we will do almost anything to get balance, often unconsciously. But how we get there includes some unique techniques.
First you must: 1. Identify that you are upset and what upset you, 2. Consider whether its in your control to change, 3. Change it or learn to live with it.
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You’re riding along and someone says, “brace yourself.” What do you do? You tense up. Tensing up is common these days for all kinds of reasons.
But it's helpful to notice when you do it, and learn ways to manage it. The reflex actions like tensing that we do often leads to more harm than good. Consider what else you can do in this episode.
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Here's a great summary of how we often live life: wishing it could be different. We often miss the reality of life because while actual events are happening we are full of thoughts of how it ought to be instead. Like a childish tantrum we say, "I don't like this! I want something else!"
This causes us to miss out on real time experience, the imperfect relationship, the less than perfect day, the imperfect you. We’re not present because we reject what is really happening. What if you accepted some of the bad? You might experience the great along the way.
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When life is on automatic pilot, lots of blind spots keep you from seeing, even seeing yourself clearly. Look! Notice what is there, in yourself, and around you.
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We live in an unsettled time. Many different things, from personal to global can make us wary, tense or upset. We go on living but with an unsettled background running all the time.
What can you do? Can't control nature or politicians. But we can do some things ourselves to move away from a constant state of vigilance.
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The very word "distraction" indicates being taken away from something and led into something less important. When life distracts us, we lose focus on what we thought we wanted to be doing. We are captured by some seductive idea or passtime that sucks up time and attention.
That's normal, but not a good thing. This episode explores distraction and what you should do about it!
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Is there anything worse than blending into the woodwork, not being noticed, not being understood? It's painful when it happens to you, right? But we can do that same disservice to others.
What if we didn't go through our days on autopilot, too busy, or too preoccupied to see the real people all around us?
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How much power do you want? Does life leave you feeling powerless? Do you want to have power to control things? How much do you already have? Maybe there is another way to look at power.
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Under the surface of every living person is a set of Agendas. They are powerful, and if you don't know they are there, they can be dangerous. Do you want to know what is driving you and hurting others around you? You can be more aware, and possibly let go of unrealistic expectations that make life harder.
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When life gets complicated, we wish it was simple. And it's complicated a lot! Listen in for some ideas to manage life's complexity, and struggles. Maybe the answer is kind of simple.
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Choose your own life as the place where you live instead of the stories about other people's lives. From your own life and in your own body you can have life that is wide awake, not distracted and mindless. Here's a challenge to fight back against all the noise of marketing, intriguing stories, and problems that are not yours.
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Do you trust easily or do you find it hard to trust people? Either way, trust is important in your life; it's important in everyone's life!It's like a superpower when you've got it, it's like kryptonite when it is missing.
If you just don't want to trust, you are setting yourself up for hard times. But of course trust has to be handled carefully.
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It seems there are a lot of voices saying, “be afraid, be very afraid.” There are scary things happening in the world and in our lives.
What is the way to respond to fear? We can give in to fear, then it seems to grow larger. We can ignore fear and maybe get ourselves hurt.
Check out this episode for tips on managing what you find scary!
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All of life is holding on to some things and letting go of others. What do you hold onto that makes too much demand on you? What should be experienced and then let go?
Consider the philosophy of a cat. They own everything, and nothing. And it works out pretty well for them.
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It is so easy to criticize others. It seems some people just ask for it by doing stupid things! And yet, if we spend enough time criticizing it kind of wears on you. All that negativity thrown on other people splashes back on us.
It's a common problem. Listen in to this episode on moving to a different attitude.
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Can you get to a calm place when things are swirling around you? Or when life gets tough, are you tossed about like the wind into despair? Your brain can react to the slightest thing, or it can be trained to react appropriately to real threats.
Here's how to set yourself up for success when you need resilience. You can't make life's problems go away but you can ride the waves.
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Are you struggling to stay out of another's business because they can't seem to manage without you? Consider what you can do.
You can love another person and not try to control them. You set aside agendas and convincing yourself that you know better (even if you do sometimes).
This is a boundary; a strong place that is both separate and connected to others. This kind of connection is between individuals who know (as best they can) who they are and who they believe the other to be.
Check out this episode to rethink rescuing or carrying another person.
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Rested. The opposite of tired. Remember rested? Do you know anyone who says, “I’m just so well rested all the time!” Probably not! You’re tired, I’m tired. We are tired a lot of the time. Joint and muscle aches signal fatigue. Explore together ways toward a rhythm that includes rest!
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Life takes a lot out of us. So like the bank, we have to have deposits we have earlier put in so we can withdraw them when we need to. I'm talking about the ability to stay calm when things are irritating or taxing. The "calm bank" can be built up so withdrawals don't leave you bankrupt, or stressed out or chewing somebody else out!
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This meditation is to get in touch with the part of yourself that struggles to find joy when bad things have happened.
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Can you really know anything in this age of "fake news?" Can you know yourself or anyone else? An ancient verse says we can know when we get still. Listen in to learn more...
An archive podcast from the first season of Encouraging Being.
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You want things that are wrong fixed. Everybody does, to some extent or another. Let's talk about it. What do we do with our natural desire for problems to get solved when so often they don't get fixed, or they take longer than we want them to take.
Here are 5 reasons why, and a meditation to experience.
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You can notice the small and the large,; you can focus on whatever you choose. It may seem that your mind takes you away or the world decides what you will pay attention to at any given moment.
But exercise your ability to choose. It will settle your mind, create some calm. Just notice. Don't worry about doing it perfectly because you won't. But you can see, you can know what is right here now in your experience. And it will be good to see it!
This is a revisit to an earlier episode.
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What about keeping things, or letting them go? Which should we do? Everybody needs to hold on sometimes, but other times let go. Letting go might need a bigger place in life, and this episode explores why and how.
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Catch yourself when you get distracted! Notice when you "are all over the place." Everybody seems to do it but there is a better way. Getting this right can reduce anxiety, lower anger, and build up a sense of peaceful confidence.
Humans are marvelously complex. But we can only handle so much. Learn a simple means to be a better person, and get some relief from the tide that seems to want to wash you away.
This episode from the archives is a powerful summary of key concepts in being more focused and balanced in life.
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How do you know? How do you know anything? We take in information through our eyes, ears and other senses. We accept it or not. Or we might get a "gut feeling" and "know" something that way.
This episode explores knowing and challenges you to know deeply.
From the archives, this episode originally aired in 2022.
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Sometimes the world looks beautiful to us, sometimes it seems horribly broken. The same friend who loves you hurts you. The same dog who consoles you bites. We can complain but it doesn't change anything. And having feelings is real and honest. But the negative feelings or facts don't have to take over. They can be just part of the story.
Listen to this episode for a way to see the beauty when the ugly has shown up. Find the sacred in the ordinary.
This archive episode is from 2022.
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From the Archives
How can you Be okay, when so many bad things are happening? This episode encourages you to live in the moment even when the present moment kind of stinks!
The news has been horrible, with loss and grief, painful violent situations that keep hurting people, like shootings and covered up sexual abuse, and war. These stories run in our minds as we work, sleep, eat, and interact with family.
Hopefully where you are right now is safe and pleasant enough. Being more aware of yourself now can be calming, and help you sort out what is most important for you.
At any moment terrible things are happening: So, this is the sad state of the world, but…
At any moment on the earth, good is happening. How do we live with the good and the bad?
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From the Archives, enjoy this episode on Being Still as an emotional and a spiritual exercise.
Listen in for practical tips on living life as something other than "busy person." Go deeper and practice being still for a short time. Meditate a few moments on the scripture that tells us to "be still..."
Being still, if only for a short time, makes you calmer. And if you are calmer, you will handle the world differently!
Originally published 2/1/22
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If you are struggling you need refuge. It may be from fear, confusion, or feeling alone. In times like that we may look for sanctuary. This episode has tips for finding and getting access to sanctuary in your life.
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If you see things different than me you are wrong of course. And you probably think the same about me. If I work with you, go to school with you, am married to you, I just need to get away from you because your different worldview is harming me.
Sounds extreme doesn't it? But this is how many people operate.
Maybe there is another way, through humility and grace.
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It may not feel like it, but we have lots of choices when it comes to how we live our lives. There are invitations to good and bad things all the time. First we must recognize they are invitations we can choose or refuse! Then we can make choices instead of allowing life events to push us around.
Listen in to see if you got your invitations. And then decide if you will accept.
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Home is a powerful, dear word that represents something we all need. Explore in this episode what home is for you. Discover some deeper senses of home in your life, that you already have and that you can nurture.
Having a clear understanding of what you have and want in "home" can help you get there.
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Catching a beautiful sunrise, or any moment is noticing something that can never be repeated. Often, we are in a fog of thoughts and plans and miss the beauty right now. And the bad times across the world often keep us from this present beautiful moment. Check out this podcast for some inspiration to live your life to the fullest!
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Something is in the air, and it's not good. There is a level of overwhelm people are feeling that has side effects. We become defensive; we pull away.
Inspiring anyone to do more right now is a losing proposition. Feeling motivated ourselves to do more is, well difficult.
Let's explore this together. Is there anything we can do to manage the unmanageable? Listen in!
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Are you better at holding on or letting go? We really need to be able to accept and give to life life well. Breathing is a good image of the rhythm we need: Pull in, push out. Receive, give. Hold on, let go.
This episode encourages you to Let Go and Let God. But also to receive what you need, like oxygen.
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Humans can be negative. Our culture is negative much of the time. This can result in being against things, maybe a long list of things.
Some have described this time as one of outrage. People find things to be outraged about. But instead of just being against things, consider this:
What do you to stand for?
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Is it just children who do things to get attention? Or do adults need attention to live happy, healthy lives? Do people around you freely get your attention?
This episode is about giving attention to neighbors with a wave, and encourages you to think about your need, and other's needs for attention.
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Being aware of your life includes everything. Like a toddler noticing a butterfly, adults can enjoy and related to nature too. It's all around you. Is nature the enemy (think mosquito control, traps for rodent pests and so on)? Or can we humans learn a thing or two, be enriched by wild nature and maybe help it survive?
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Innocent children have a wonderful way of looking at the world. And they are in the present moment far more than adults. We can learn a thing or two from them!
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Dogs have a great way of looking at the world. And they live in the moment. We can learn from them, and experience from them some great qualities.
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Thoughts are always with us. We can't stop them. Or can we?
First it helps to realize, as some people say, their "mind is always buzzing." the thoughts fly at them and energize, stress, and confuse. It is exciting to have your mind spin like that, and it can cause anxiety.
What if you could do something different in your life than just be a victim of your thoughts?
This episode can help you begin to take control of your thoughts.
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This episode could be called the Parable of the Creek Drain. From the story of doing the wrong thing with a drain into a creek we learn being in this moment is sometimes correcting past mistakes. When you see that you screwed up there is no better time to fix it.
The past can't be changed but sometimes you can act today to change direction. What do you need to change? Wallowing in regret or guilt won't change it. take some action, then lean into today and what the future has for you.
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Most of us like to hold ourselves together emotionally; we don't want to break down.
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Waiting. No one likes it.
But we all have to wait sometimes, lots of times during life.
Rushing on in our minds just makes us unhappy, dissatisfied, grumpy.
How can we wait well?
Find out in this episode!
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Do you find sudden change easy or hard? Are you headed, in some aspect of your life, in a way you just need to repent of and turn around?
Or have there been times that you went along, and you should not have? You gave in to another’s will but should have spoken up. Are you on a path that will make you resentful and unhappy if you don’t change? Maybe it is time to claim your right to an opinion and desires for direction over your life.
Check out this episode for some inspiration to make wise choices about your life.
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To be in the moment can make you especially honest; you have to face what is actually here, right now, instead of what you want to be happening. If you tell someone else what you experience and it crashes into their desired experience, you risk offending them.
This episode explores how we let others control us sometimes, to avoid offending anyone. Listen in for what we can do instead.
A rich awareness can happen when we see more than the obvious. A street may be made of asphalt or concrete but either way, it is more than the materials it is made of.
All that is around us holds deeper meaning than the obvious, if we will just see. Look into the eyes of an animal, beneath the surface of the water, into the heart of the person.
Just hold on! And we do. We hold on to lots of tension.
This tension is in our heads and gets into our joints and muscles. It makes headaches, and it makes bodies ache.
What do you do to relieve tension? Have you found anything that works for you? There are thousands of suggestions out there. The promises of relief come in programs, apps and pills. Just do this one thing or take this medicine. Or do this list of things and tension will go away.
Check out this episode to hear my view of what really relieves tension. It may not be what you think!
Nature has lessons for us humans. We're different than animals, of course. But we can learn a thing or two from them. Sometimes their behavior reminds us of ourselves.
Do you let the first impulse drive your reaction to things? What if you could do something differently? What would you do?
There are many noises in our world, literal noises, and things that create noise in our hearts. What is noise to you? Have you thought about it?
Don't let the noise throw you off course. Check out this podcast episode for a thoughtful consideration of noise and how to deal with it.
Life is hard so rest is important. You need to push through the tough times! Right? But regular rest is needed and sometimes what you are doing just needs to stop; you need to quit!
Go further along on the walk by the Lake with Jay, learning some lessons that can be learned. Don't spend life in a mindless trance; be present where you are, see the sights along the way! And when it is time to rest, rest; when it is time to quit, quit!
Wherever you walk, it will be a different experience for you if you just pay attention. It's so easy to be in a beautiful place and have your mind on other things. Then you miss the beauty around you; the experience is less than it can be.
Come along on a hike in this episode and see what you can experience with just a bit of thought and focus. Take a few minutes in a guided time of noticing what you have been missing!
The story of Jay's dog Callie and her tendency to get stuck smelling illustrates how we humans get stuck on ideas. You have had it happen, we all have. You don't have to be "OCD" to get your mind caught in a loop of thinking over and over about the same thing. How to get out? Listen in to this episode for a challenge to get those thoughts unstuck, and how to do it!
Everybody has heard the saying, "if you don't use it, you lose it." It's true, unfortunately! It's true of physical muscle and it's true of your spiritual side. If you don't exercise it, you lose strength and resilience.
This episode teaches a skill you can use to help maintain and grow.
And there is inspiration to keep up the good fight, as often as possible, as regular as possible.
Being aware of what we eat can help with weight management. It can also be a spark to help us be more aware of everything we do. If you notice as you consume that donut or second helping of fries, you might choose to slow down or stop. If you notice when you drive too fast or lose your temper, you might slow down or stop. This episode is a challenge to pay more attention, and reap some great benefits.
Just tasting your food is a benefit of mindfully eating. Too often with fast food or rushed habits, we gulp, chew, and swallow while thinking about something else. So only if the food is strong in flavor (good or bad) do we even notice what we are eating. What a shame! take a few minutes to slow down and listen through this episode.
Your mind is bent toward jumping from thought to thought. Especially the attention deficit mind, and let’s be honest, we are all attention deficit these days. Quick, short, exciting stimuli bites are all around us on our phones, on TV and elsewhere. We have been programmed to be impatient with the slow, to get bored quickly with anything that doesn’t engage with the loud, violent, and stimulating.
The anxiety grows and the ability to handle the anxiety decreases. Only changing the behavior of feeding this “multiple points of attention” monster will increase resilience and calm.
Continual improvement, maximizing your life, having everything! There is pressure to always get better, to never be satisfied, to be your own self critic.
Getting better is great. being in a state of punishing yourself, not so great.
There is a better way. Listen in for some practical ideas.
Serenity, what a nice idea. Everyone is so stressed. How do we find serenity? There are serenity spas, serenity this, serenity that but a true inner peace isn't found in products.
The Serenity Prayer asks for and shows the way to true serenity. This podcast digs into those steps and encourages you to live wisely, with acceptance, and to take action when possible. Then the magic of receiving and developing serenity work together.
We all injure ourselves at times, or get hurt in ways that are not our faults. Pain hurts but we can make it worse, or better, depending on what we do next.
This episode gives some concrete tips on managing pain, and even managing feeling stupid when you are the cause of your pain!
Taking out the garbage is a job somebody has to do often. What lessons can be learned from the process? Does competition, distraction, or just not paying attention get in the way of a fuller life for you?
Be more in your life instead of distracted from it.
Do you ever need to “clear your head?” I do. Things build up that need to be cleared out.
What needs to be cleared? Distractions that built up need to be cleared. Worries and fears need to be cleared. Sometimes self-criticism need to be cleared.
This episode explains what, when, and how. Listen for some practical tips to clear your head!
Sometimes other people's mistakes are funny! And our own trip ups can make us laugh. But it is too easy to judge other people and ourselves. After judging others we may feel superior or after judging ourselves feel inferior. Judging can be harsh yet it is something we all do sometimes.
This episode offers a way to rise above our natural tendency to be a critic.
“I don’t know how to relax," someone said. Do you?
When you are on vacation, do you carry yourself differently? I hope you do. Many of us just are more relaxed when away from our daily responsibilities.
Life events create tension in almost everybody. But you don't have to keep that tension, you can learn a way to approach life more relaxed.
Are you stressed out or afraid? Isn't everybody? These are stressful times we live in but we keep plodding along. Do you find ways to distract yourself? That helps only for a little while, and the stress may grow while we live distracted.
Check out this episode to consider what we are up against and some ways you can let go of worry!
Everyday things can be tiresome. Lots of life is what we have to do, not what we want to do. So how can you make life easier? How can you throw off the obligations and enjoy yourself more?
Jay shares stories of fighting and embracing the rhythms of the day. Listen for some tips to getting to the fun stuff on the other side of your obligations.
Sometimes a memory or a problem gets hold of you and won't let you go. That is what this episode is about. Jay talks about why that happens and what to do about it.
People compare themselves to others, and to perfection. The result? Dissatisfaction. When we focus on what we don’t have, life is not peaceful.
If you notice this problem, what can you do about it? This episode gives ideas on beginning to move toward a more contented life.
Hint: it involves being here now, and finding gratitude to quench the desires for more.
Life is full of expectations. Or I should say, we are full of expectations. We expect many things from the people and circumstances around us. Find out in this episode what is terribly wrong about that, and when it might be okay.
What if you let go of expectations?
Daydreams can be delicious and fun. They can be harmless ways to soothe yourself when right here and now is not so pleasant or doesn’t fully capture your attention. But as a frequent habit, drifting off away from the present reality is not so good.
Our imaginations are the source of great creativity. We can imagine something, and then decide to work toward it. But a downside of imagination is escapism, being mindless.
Being mindless is the opposite of mindful awareness of the here and now. Being mindless is the path to missing your life while it is happening, of being so caught up in the past, or some imagined future that you miss. right. now.
Don't give your life away to daydreams!
Nobody likes to be scared. But there seems to be plenty of opportunities in life to be scared. And some people are more likely to respond to life with fear and anxiety. Are you one of those people? If so, you need this.
This episode gives some tips for managing fear. You'll hear about Jay being scared of a medical procedure and what he did to manage it.
Check out this all to human emotion and how to be more in the moment to live with and move beyond fear.
You may be amazed at where you can go from the couch, without even turning on the TV! It's a step by step guide to being aware of your body.
This special episode shows how you can be more present with where you are in any moment, even on the couch in your home! There is a great big world that is beyond distractions and people shouting for your attention to sell you something. That world starts in you and your body's experience of this very moment you are living in.
Come along! Better yet, let this story inspire you to go on a trip yourself, into greater awareness of your own life.
Stopping to observe anything can calm you. Observing nature teaches us important things, even something as simple as watching the rain.
This episode takes you into an experience of being with a coming rainstorm.
Will you notice and learn? It only takes a bit of time and attention.
You might participate in the grandeur of creation!
We can notice whatever we choose in life, or notice all of it, or none of it. This episode is about paying attention on purpose. Our minds and lives are more peaceful when focused than when we are distracted by a dozen things.
Noticing nothing is unfortunately what we often do. Walking, chores, or even driving can be done with half attention, doing something but having your mind on something else. The distracted person often hasn’t thought to try to be in the present moment, they are robotic in action, mind disconnected from body.
I's easy to feel unsettled. Looking and listening can help us settle down. It doesn't take away the things that worry or disturb, but it can give some perspective and a lightness to replace the heaviness.
Can you remember the last time you noticed a moment that created awe and wonder in you? Maybe it was in nature, or it was watching a child, or it might have been something within yourself. Awe is that feeling of something bigger than you, something of beauty, of wonder. Maybe you too saw life winning out in risky circumstances.
Any moment, when we are fully present and not distracted, can be a moment of awe. Allow whatever you feel to come. Perhaps it will put life in perspective. You are not the center of the universe, and yet you are a special part of a beautiful universe.
This episode explores some small special moments that can inspire you, inspire you to notice the awesome in your everyday life.
Less is More is a saying that we sometimes understand and sometimes not. Is it true? It can be a guide for living more in the moment.
Less is More. Notice only one thing at a time.
Check out this podcast about focus on one thing at a time, doing less and having it count for more.
What if we had more fun? What if we looked for fun along the way in life? We could even plan for fun things in each day. This would be in contrast to taking life so seriously.
What if we were tuned into ourselves enough that we let fun happen when it came up? And we scheduled it into our days too. This podcast encourages being open to fun, even in the middle of serious times. Checkout ways to loosen up and enjoy your life, not just endure it!
In this time of high stress for almost everybody, we need some extra care. But many of us were taught to only care for others, not require anything beyond the basics for ourselves. You don’t want to be a burden, or to seem selfish by asking for help or anything that looks like luxury for yourself.
What do you need from friends and family? Do you need more hugs or “rubdowns”? Do you need more unhurried time to catch your breath? Do you sometimes need others to make over you and express their love to you? We are all different, but we all need our tanks refilled. An empty tank doesn’t lead to joy.
Even if you won’t take care of yourself for you, do it for the people who depend on you. Get in touch with what fills you up and ask for it!
My client asked me, “So should I challenge myself and ignore this stuff? Or should I just give in to it and go with the flow?” He was dealing with some serious anxiety that was affecting his appetite, his interest in daily activities, and his energy level.
My experience is that when things are talked about in a “either-or” way that the answer is usually in the middle. I said to him, “I think you need a little of both. You need some going with the flow, allowing whatever happens to happen. And you need to challenge yourself.”
Many people I know are anxious these days. Maybe you know someone who is anxious; maybe that person is you. The answer for anyone is some going with the flow, allowing whatever happens to happen, and to challenge yourself to not give in to life limiting choices.
Letting go and riding the wave of what comes seems lazy or giving up control. But trying to control is the problem, isn’t it? So much of life is out of our control yet we work so hard to maintain the little kingdoms we rule over in our lives.
Surrender is the best strategy for staying in some level of control. This is a paradoxical idea, it seems like a contradiction. But because our health, the behavior of those around us, and even our genetic makeup are not our choices, we do best to ride the waves of life. And when things are hard, it is also good that we push ourselves to work harder and with determination.
With both the toddler and the fearful man, the challenge was accepted and overcome. Anxiety is defeated by going at the thing that is scary, not avoiding it. But this is not done recklessly. Anxiety can also be draining, so rest along the way is needed. Accepting life as it comes can remove you from a combative stance. You don’t always have to be at war with life, you can manage changes as they come along.
Let’s try something now:
Take a moment now to rest your eyes in whatever position you are in, sitting or lying down. Take a few short breaths. Take them deeply, slowly, then notice your thoughts.
Next, notice how your thoughts make you feel. Do your thoughts soothe you, or upset you?
Then consider the truth or untruth of your thoughts. Do thoughts come to mind that try to draw you in but are not true? Simply notice your thoughts and notice yourself. Challenge yourself to see that you are not the same as your thoughts. You can put some distance between the real you and thoughts you have.
Fearful thoughts can be strong but are often exaggerations. You have all kinds of thoughts, true, false, and confusing. But you don’t have to act on thoughts or accept them.
An idiom is a shorthand statements that we use instead of explaining something in detail. They can be fun or confusing. Think about, " It's raining cats and dogs," or "you missed the boat." Some idioms are wise sounding parables like, “All good things come to an end.”
I said "all good things come to an end" to the dog the other day (not that she understood me) because I made her come in the house when she wanted to lay out in the sun.
I heard myself say it and thought, “there is wisdom in that old saying.” There are a lot of things I hate to see come to an end, like vacation, a good meal, a fun time with friends, and family holiday gatherings.
We were in a beautiful beachfront condo. The ocean waves crashed outside in a steady rhythm just right for sleeping and soothing to walk alongside. Just looking at the waves and the distant horizon made me feel peaceful.
There is something about the ocean that puts us in a good mood. I have a friend who periodically has to travel to the beach to relax. Some health experts say that negative ions found in the air at the beach improve our health. My wife and I love walking awhile up or down the beach, noticing turtle or crab tracks, shells, seagulls, seaweed and tall grasses blowing in the wind.
While on vacation I notice things I wouldn’t at home, like the skies. At home, I miss the skies, I don’t notice them unless I consciously look up. On vacation I notice the skies, the beautiful sunrise or sunset, the cloud formations, or a cloudless blue sky.
But did you ever go on vacation and find it unsatisfying, or really awful? I have heard stories about great expectations dashed by how the day-to-day vacation turned out.
I have gone expecting to be relaxed. And I expected to be happy the whole time and having my wife be spontaneously entertaining, or at least agreeable with everything I wanted to do. Of course, she also expected me to be pleasant and agreeable with her and I am not always. Vacation sometimes flounders under the weight of too high expectations; the vision is unrealistic from the start.
I’ll tell you one thing that is the cause of this problem. I’m at the beach and it’s good but I want more. We have a nice meal and I want all of them to be this good or better. When everybody gets along, I want that to be the case all the time.
I get upset when these expectations aren’t met. And when do I have these expectations? When I am in the middle of other experiences. The problem is not being in the moment and experiencing what is happening right now.
It’s just mindless life taken along on vacation, being distracted, and thinking about the past or the future instead of living in the present moment.
I can’t stop my mind from wandering. But I can notice when I am distracted and bring myself back to now. This is a process that happens again and again if you want to be more aware of your life.
Noticing your mind has drifted off is itself awareness. Then you can bring it back by focusing on how your body feels, the feel of the air around you or sounds that you hear. At the beach you can hear the ocean waves. Listen for a few minutes to a recording I made at the beach. Listen for the details, the different sounds within the sound. Let it relax you. Perhaps you can picture yourself there!
We seem to pay more attention to what we don’t have than what we do. People want something different than their current circumstance.
What do you wish wasn’t so? It can be as big as your job or as small as your fingernails. We use energy wishing that something wasn’t so, negative energy, fighting against reality.
I’m not scolding you or myself; we all want things we don’t have at times.
What if instead of indulging our desire to stop change, we embrace what is reality? When things are sad or hard, we naturally wish it wasn’t so. But after that initial feeling we may do better to accept it.
There is a time to turn from how you wish things were to what really is now. In the stages of grief, the last stage is acceptance. It isn’t closure which is having things all tied up neat.
Do worries get you out of rhythm? That can lead to pulling back from life in fear.
My friend with heart problems is using awareness of the present moment to help him. For him, being in the moment is calming and helps answer anxiety’s call to worry. He’s getting medical care but he wants life be more than trips to doctors and taking pills.
What worries do you have? What comes to mind that especially troubles you? You can develop some tools to help make things more manageable.
Having problems to be solved is everyone’s lot in life but worrying about them is optional. When they come to mind, pause, and listen. Just listen to the sounds of life around you.
The rhythm of life includes many hard things. What we don’t want to do is to give over control to the hard things by letting them dominate our minds. Take care of what you must, but what is out of your control, let go.
People used to just sit for hours on porches. Maybe you never did but saw someone older than you sit around and talk. Remember Andy & Barney on the TV show sitting on the porch talking or playing guitar? Some folks had a knife and stick and whittled while they sat.
If you didn’t whittle, there was always talking, or rocking in a rocking chair, or listening to nature. If you lived near a road, you could watch the cars go by.
Does that seem an incredible waste of time?
We have believed lies. They include: “You must maximize your productivity,” and “Doing nothing is a waste of time.”
Doing nothing is neither a waste of time nor easy. It takes concentration and effort to turn off the impulse to do, and to instead spend time “being.”
But it has great rewards.
Do you know what you want or need? If you stay lost in thought, you will be confused about it. Sometimes dogs know better than humans.
What do you want? In this very moment, what do you want?
What do you want for today?
This episode explores being aware of yourself to the level that you know what you want, not what others want for you.
What do you want right now? If it is something you can do, you can choose it if you are aware of it.
It is good to live in the moment. But let’s be honest, some moments are hard to be in.
The news has been horrible, with loss and grief, painful violent situations that keep hurting people, like shootings and covered up sexual abuse, and war. These stories run in our minds as we work, sleep, eat, and interact with family.
Hopefully where you are right now is safe and pleasant enough. Being more aware of yourself now can be calming, and help you sort out what is most important for you.
At any moment terrible things are happening: So, this is the sad state of the world, but…
At any moment on the earth, good is happening.
Men are bad about this. Really everyone, male or female has thoughts going on in their head, much of which isn't said. Sometimes they are words of encouragement, kind curiosity, and love.
These caring thoughts just need to come out. It doesn’t have to be a big speech but just a comment to bring them into the light.
Things often go unspoken because we fear if they are spoken, they will grow and take over. We may avoid saying something because it could make someone cry.
When you speak up with care and compassion, the results can be much better than keeping those thoughts to yourself.
Most of the time a tender or important feeling is brought up, the people who share it feel closer to each other afterward. It is a moment of connection.
Holding it in, the opposite of speaking up, is a way to keep distance. It keeps distance from the emotions, protects the person from “losing it” and it keeps distance between people. No closeness can develop between people who protect themselves.
Go On and Say It!
How does the phrase “brute force” strike you? It seems this is the way of humankind, we often “brute force” our way.
It seems standard procedure to scrape off the top and “brute force” nature, because it just harder to “finesse our way.”
Do you prefer to use brute force or finesse? Which do you prefer having used on you?
My wife saw the flashing lights coming through the blinds on the front of our house. She opened to find an ambulance parked at our neighbor's house. Both have struggles, so we did not know which one the ambulance was there for.
My mind can spin away in moments like this. It is tempting to go into some active problem solving mode or to choose a distraction. But being here, living in the the fearful or sad as well as the happy is more truly alive.
Life has unsolvable problems like death. We don’t want to think about loved ones dying or dying ourselves. But denial doesn’t make it go away.
It is good to think of someone you love who has died. You can honor them with your memories and not come apart, and not live only in the sadness. The memories you have are the gifts your loved one continues to give you when you pay attention.
Notice this current moment. You are alive, and that is a blessing.
Isn't all that loud singing of birds in the Spring annoying?
Do you complain about what happens to you rather than observing it and learning from it?
It is easy it is to see the negative, and hard to accept things as they come.
Become a better observer, and you have a skill for being in the moment. Or you will miss a lot of what is around you.
Right now is full of interesting things.
The earth is still spinning on its axis, wonderful creatures of all shapes and sizes fill the land, the skies, and the seas. You can experience some of them. And when you do, there can be gratitude, instead of focus on what is missing, what went wrong, or what annoys.
Listen in to a recording made by me on a walk with my dog. You may hear her bark at a goose, the goose squawk, and then a splash when the goose lands in the pond to get away from the dog. But notice the bird songs and other sounds before and after. You can hear layers of sounds near and far away.
As you listen, let the sounds of nature calm you and bring you joy!
It’s kind of casual looking to stand in a twist, but it isn’t good for your joints or muscles.
You may find that you, like Jay, tilt to one direction too!
Having our bodies in twisted or slumped positions hurts over time. It crowds organs, causes muscles to lengthen and shorten unnaturally, and makes joints hurt. So, when you can, you should work to stand and sit properly to maintain this great body that you are.
Yes, the real you is not just a mind that your body carries around, as we sometimes think.
Fully occupy your wonderful body, and give it a chance to stand up straight!
Are you annoyed when a traffic light turns green and the car in front of you just sits there? My guess is, the driver is looking at his phone; what would you guess?
People drive without paying attention.
When your mind goes into a trance you do things only half paying attention. You get them done but don’t remember them afterward. Typical things we do can be unexciting, so we add other stimuli like radio, TV, conversation, or daydreaming.
In the movie City Slickers, Curly tells the “secret of life” by holding up one finger. Then he said, “It’s one thing, just one thing.” When asked what one thing he meant, he said, “That’s what you have to find out.”
Listen in to find out that one thing!
There are times when we experience something really nice, and we just want it to last. Being in nature can create a good memory that you can savor.
The less than pleasant creates an experience you may want to avoid. When the unpleasant happens we want to get it over with as soon as possible, and forget about it.
But neither the good or bad things last, they come and go.
This episode encourages living in all the moments of life, and letting them come and go as they will.
I can look at a situation and decide what it means and get it completely wrong! Then, if I get it wrong, I react in the wrong way.
I’m guessing you have done this too.
Sometimes it’s because we are just not paying full attention, so we get half the facts, draw a conclusion, and its off target.
Other times we get our conclusion wrong because we come to the situation with a perspective, like colored “lenses” that affect what we see.
This episode gives you some tips to deal with this human tendency to get it wrong.
We need to be more fully in the moment, with humility.
And having the attitude of a learner makes you open to different information. That different information may change your perspective.
Ever lost something valuable? And then when you were honest, you knew you lost it because you were not paying attention?
Then it takes more time to fix things because of a lack of concentration. That is aggravating!
It's a problem, but very human tendency to be distracted and miss important things.
You need to improve your attention, but how do you do that?
This episode includes easy to follow steps to improve your concentration, and a scripture reflection on disciplines that enrich life.
“I never felt better in my life!” he used to say.
He was a “glass half full” person.
It’s easier to be a “glass half empty” person. Problems parade in front of us on the news, and sometimes even in our own families. Sometimes the problems seem greater than in the past. So maybe it’s impossible to be a “glass half full” person now?
Or maybe we need to limit our exposure to the many things we can do nothing about. Challenge yourself to be in the moment, not caught up in negativity.
And being more positive and grateful can be more peaceful.
Life is often overwhelming. And now there is a war going on.
It is in Ukraine, not near most of us, but it is disturbing. It feels nearby and it adds to the tensions in the world from the pandemic, political fighting, social distancing, family and work problems.
To be in the moment requires a way to stay balanced within yourself and not be thrown off by fear, anger, or confusion. And to respond however best to help.
This episode explores this hard time, and offers a few moments of finding peace.
Take some time for peace right now.
Being distracted or zoned out is a life out of touch with yourself and the sacred.
Do you know anyone who checks out from reality? Once in a while is OK, but too often it is a life pattern. And patterns take us someplace. When things go bad, it is usually more like a steady drip, drip, drip than a cataclysmic event.
Being more aware of the present moment can be the cure to many of our problems. A guided experience of being aware of your body, thoughts, and moods in this episode shows the alternative to "zoning out."
Jay also shares a scripture that tells the good things we should think about if we want peace!
The simplest things can be interesting if we pay attention. But we are often of two minds, doing one thing and thinking about something else.
This episode encourages you to just notice where you are right now and what is happening. It can be fascinating! And it has the added benefit of calming your mind and spirit.
Listen in on a story about my dog that illustrates that life is both good and not so good.
When we make time to be in the moment, we see that each moment has potential to be good or bad. Learning to accept the present “now” includes accepting the bad with the good, knowing that each come and pass away. Pleasure doesn’t last forever, and neither does pain.
My hope for you is that you will be covered with “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
When life gets tough we humans seem to do a couple of things, we escape/numb out, or we try to control. What do you do?
“Be still and know that I am God,” from Psalm 43 comforts and challenges. The message includes being still, and in the stillness coming to know that God is God.
If you sit with stillness, as this verse says, you will have many thoughts and moods come. But I believe when we sit in expectation, and with at least a little faith, we can access some peace.
Will you try to settle into the stillness and let go?
Are you tempted to give up, to go into a room, close the blinds and hide? Or will you choose a distracting or addicting behavior and numb out?
You are created to be, not just do. When the things you try to do fail or fall short of your hopes, you can still be.
Whatever is happening, perhaps your existence was intentional, not an accident, that you are a beloved child of God.
Take some time with Jay to experience some moments of "being."
You know some things and people in a surface way, like trivia facts or friends on social media. But, hopefully, you know other things and people more deeply. This episode teaches about "knowing" at that deeper level.
Look closer at other ways of knowing than just gathering information, or hurrying through relationships and decisions.
Stress is rampant, and people are on edge.
You will get practical tips on living life as something other than "busy person." Go deeper and practice being still for a short time. Meditate a few moments on the scripture that tells us to "be still..."
Being still, if only for a short time, makes you calmer. And if you are calmer, you will handle the world differently!
Your mind, like mine, is a thought creator. One thought leads to the next and we go down thought streams and rabbit holes that we never imagined. In some moments of clarity you may realize you have been in a trance of thoughts, letting your thoughts run away with you. Taking time to be right here, right now can be an antidote to mindless thinking.
Consider the word “Be.” What is it like to just “Be?” It is more than just existing, it is being aware of yourself and your surroundings in this present moment.
Each episode of this podcast will have a story, a time for getting centered with the present, and a reflection on ancient wisdom. You will be able to find your own experience in what is shared.
The story will inspire you, even if you are not a dog person. Then you can experience a brief exercise for touching peace within yourself and receiving peace from God.