Doctor Who: The Ood Cast: Recent Episodes
Chris Fosten, Chris Mead & Laura Mead
The Ood Cast is not your average Doctor Who podcast.
We aim to express the joy, the chaos and the glory of our favourite show through laughter, rhyme and song.
"To be honest, a lot of things have made me cry over the past few days but this was a different kind of cry."
Reviews: Message from the Doctor
Air Date: 25th March 2020
Song: Doctor in a Cupboard based on Michael in the Bathroom from Be More Chill
Sketches: Hide & Strax by Chris Mead
Haiku: Even in hiding/ she's saving us from ourselves/ darkness never wins
Additional notes: Even though this is our shortest episode ever (and still approximately four times longer than the thing it's reviewing) this also features the BIGGEST GUEST STAR we've ever had on The Ood Cast. So thank you to Dan Starkey (taking a break from nursing and destroying his enemies in battle).
"Even when her mind is wiped. Even when she's returned to being a child and the Time Lords are trying to integrate her back into society and be a normal boring Time Lord. That name comes back. That same TARDIS comes back. That need to go out and help people comes back. It's so deep within her that even if you wipe her brain and try and start again. She's still going to become that amazing rebel."
Reviews: The Ascension of the Cybermen/ The Timeless Children
Air Date: 23rd February & 1st March 2020
Song: There Is No Escape based on You Can Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac
Sketches: Doctor Queue by Chris Fosten. Jimmy Riddle by Chris Fosten. Ko Sharmus by Tom Salinsky. Remember Where We Parked the TARDIS by Chris Mead & Chris Fosten. Shooting the Cybershit by Chris Mead. So I Guess Basically Anyone Can Get Into the TARDIS now? by Chris Mead. Taking the Credit by Michael Gilroy-Sinclair. The Celestial Toy Shop by Chris Fosten. The Master Workshops New Names For A Cyber Patrol by Chris Mead. The Timeless Podcasts by Chris Mead.
Haiku:
Miracle child lives/ while last humans just survive/ unsafe haven waits
The Doctor listens/ surrounded by strip lighting/ tiny death goes large
What's making us feel g-ood?
Loz: Talking about mental health
Alpha: Rule of Three podcast
Sigma: Jagged Little Pill: the musical (recommended by Emily Jenik)
Additional notes: In the old days of the podcast we used to write too much, talk too much and have grandiose ideas that we were never going to pull off. We've calmed down a little over the years but this is a brief return to the grandiloquent Ood Cast of old. We had a blast.
"I don't think I've really seen people on Doctor Who eating ever."
Reviews: The Haunting of Villa Diodati
Air Date: 16th February 2020
Song: Unfinished Cyberman based on Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve
Sketches: Taking the Tour by Chris Fosten. Lord Byron Introduces his Latest Work by Chris Fosten. Cyberwoman II: Cyber Boogaloo by Chris Mead.
Haiku: Cellar-based poet/ finds clever metal dollop/ lone tin-man inspires
What's making us feel g-ood?
Loz: Future Man
Alpha: A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon
Sigma: Andrew Ellard's tweetnotes
Additional notes: Bit of behind the scenes info - we all realised we couldn't do our normal recording day, so this episode became a bit of a mission to schedule. When we did finally get into a room together it was a very silly recording session with a lot more tangents and A LOT more talking over each other than normally happens. We think the results are chaotic but fun. Hope you agree?
"She's not tackling her own trauma at all because she's spending all her time entertaining her companions."
Reviews: Can You Hear Me?
Air Date: 9th February 2020
Song: What if Gods Were Arseholes? based on One of Us by Joan Osborne
Sketches: Nightmare Season by Chris Fosten. Alternative Reactions by Chris Fosten.
Haiku: Dark visions point them/ to jailed nightmarish prankster/ they stay bottled up
Additional notes: Laura had a cold recording this episode. In the edit there were A LOT of cuts which were just removing mucus-choked sneezes and coughs. Like a lot a lot. You wouldn't believe how many.
"Do you think the Doctor has got better at steering the TARDIS or do you think the Doctor just hates Adric?"
Reviews: Praxeus
Air Date: 2nd February 2020
Song: I am a Bird based on I'm Like a Bird by Nelly Furtado
Sketches: Two Oods Roaming by Chris Fosten. Un Chat by Chris Mead. The Operation by Chris Fosten.
Haiku: Alien virus/ might solve plastic pollution/ goes for birds instead
Additional notes: This is a catch-up episodes and was recorded in two parts because we ran out of battery the first time. The splice is somewhere in the middle of Loz's anecdote about the fish parasites. See if you can spot it. Also, why is the cat French when under 4% of Ontario's population is Francophone? It's because the double-meaning of the title "Un Chat" made us laugh.
"This is an amazing story arc. I think it blows all the previous story arcs out of the water."
Reviews: Fugitive of the Judoon
Air Date: 26th January 2020
Song: Ho Flo Blo Ro based on Heart Beats by José Gonzalez
Sketches: The Keepers at the Gate by Chris Fosten & Chris Mead. The Chris Chibnall Gang by Chris Mead. Dead Punny by Chris Mead.
Haiku: Rhino police force/ find new depths to the Doctor/ contract is cancelled
Additional notes: We had such a good time recording this episode. We were also trying to record the next episode at the same time (we're a week behind due to a festival in Amsterdam). We wrote all the extra sketches and songs but were foiled by our recording equipment running out of batteries. We also spoiled our own Doctor Who audio adventure project - The Nth Doctor. Oh well!
"That's a genuinely warm feeling I get when he ... talks about buses."
Reviews: Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror
Air Date: 19th January 2020
Song: Danger High Voltage (Tesla edit) based on Danger High Voltage by Electric 6
Sketches: Creating Fear by Chris Fosten. No Patents by Chris Fosten. Bread Ahead by Chris Mead.
Haiku: Inventor wanted/ by sparky alien queen/ their end is a shock
Additional notes: Some of us didn't watch the episode itself until a few hours before recording. That makes for some frenzied sketch writing. Also Loz wasn't here this week but still manages to be in the episode a lot. Technology, eh?
"I don't think she's talking entirely to them. And I don't think she's talking entirely about Earth. I think she's talking to herself and she's talking about Gallifrey."
Reviews: Orphan 55
Air Date: 12th January 2020
Song: Benni based on Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson
Additional notes: We will always remain a positive and upbeat podcast about Doctor Who, even when there are parts of an episode that aren't to our tastes. In fact, the more janky bits there are, the more material there is for sketches and songs. Hence, this week, we were extremely happy Oods. BENNI, ARE YOU OKAY?
"Can you slide shambolically?"
"You can - it hurts though. It's hell on the knees."
Reviews: Spyfall Parts I & II
Air Date: 1st January 2020 & 5th January 2020
Song: Spyfall based on Skyfall by Adele
Additional notes: It really doesn't seem that long since we were all together but it is DEFINITELY over a year. Scary how fast time moves but probably appropriate given our subject matter. In terms of amazing making of info for this episode - we've upgraded our editing equipment and lost our sound effects library in the process so the sound of the omelette being whisked was recorded LIVE in the Ood kitchen. Wow!
“The battle of number 46 plus a naan bread is a lot easier to say.”
Reviews: The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos
Air Date: 9th December 2018
Additional notes: It was great to have all the Oods back in one place for this episode. As well as the review, we look back on Series 11 as a whole and think big thoughts about wonderful Doctor Who.
“A deep, steep inlet of the sea...”
Reviews: It Takes You Away
Air Date: 2nd December 2018
Song: Portal Connection based on Rainbow Connection by Kermit the Frog
Additional notes: Yes. We were slightly drunk during this episode. That might be seen as slightly unprofessional but hey, ain't nobody being paid for this s*!%. Recognise the voice of the President? It's none other than Erik Stadnik, legendary podcaster and the fifth Ood (of our hearts).
“The Morax King looked a bit like Earthworm Jim…”
Reviews: The Witchfinders
Air Date: 24th November 2018
Song: I Vomit Mud on You based on I Put a Spell on You by Nina Simone
Additional notes: As well as the normal Ood review, this specially extended episood has a bonus review from comedic superfans Gemma Arrowsmith (of Big Finish fame), John Henry Falle and Jenny Rowe. There's also a sketch co-written with Michael from the Tin Dog Podcast. It's a busy one.
“We are the candy floss surrounding the razor blades of public opinion…”
Reviews: Kerblam!
Air Date: 17th November 2018
Song: Pop based on Stop by The Spice Girls
Additional notes: Back together again for this episode. And many thanks to listener (and honorary Ood) Emily Jenik for her Yaz sketch this week. Also Kerblam! is the first Doctor Who episode with an exclamation mark in the title. But Kerpow! is by no means the first Ood Cast episode with an exclamation mark. We are excitable in that way.
“People are unfathomably cruel to each other. Nationalism and tribalism … that turns people into caricatures of the worst aspects of humanity.”
Reviews: Demons of the Punjab
Air Date: 11th November 2018
Song: Both Sides of the Border based on Both Sides of the Story by Phil Collins
Additional notes: Once again the Oods are split up for this episode but it’s probably appropriate for the subject matter that we’re geographically dispersed. If you’re interested in seeing the Children in Need segment that we mention, there’s a great article on it here.
"If the Pting guzzles energy then the Doctor guzzles knowledge…"
Reviews: The Tsuranga Conundrum
Air Date: 4th November 2018
Song: Nom Nom Nom based on You'll Be Back by Hamilton Original Broadway Cast
Additional notes: Chris Sigma has been wanting to make Loz do a Hamilton song for YEARS. The Doctor mentioning the musical during the episode was all the excuse he needed. Thanks, Chibnall. CHIBNALL!!!!!
"It was like being slapped directly on the nose by a side of ham…"
Reviews: Arachnids in the UK
Air Date: 28th October 2018
Song: Spider-Doc based on Spider-Man by Moxy Fruvous
Additional notes: This week's song is insanely catchy and took Loz a huge amount of time because she had to create all the layered harmonies from scratch.
"To navigate by our hearts is only, and VERY, human..."
Reviews: Rosa
Air Date: 21st October 2018
Song: Stormcage based on Starman by David Bowie
"Apologies for those of you listening through very high fidelity headsets as you'll probably be able to hear everything that's sliding around my eustachian tubes..."
Reviews: The Ghost Monument
Air Date: 14th October 2018
Song: No song this week either due to Loz still being ill (sorry)
Additional notes: This episode was recorded using the equipment we used for the very first Ood Cast ever and was edited mostly in Saudi Arabia - very suitable for an episode concerning a desert planet.
"I feel so many things inside myself. I have so many emotions..."
Reviews: The Woman Who Fell To Earth
Air Date: 7th October 2018
Song: No song this week due to Loz being ill (sorry)
Additional notes: At one point during the editing of this episode on a train, Chris Sigma got so engrossed that he missed his stop and ended up in Guildford. Great showbiz story that.
This is it. The last episode of the season. Chris Sigma, Stephen Davidson and Zara Swanton rip up the Ood One Out rule book and just talk about the sixty or so things they loved about The Doctor Falls. PLUS we're back to a full compliment of sketches, songs and oods for one final hurrah.
Join Chris Sigma and improviser/actor/Big Finish designer Tom Webster as they trawl through the embarrassment of riches that was World Enough and Time. There is also a lot of talk about The Five Doctors. Probably more than is necessary.
Some pretty impressive guerrilla-podcasting this week. This whole episode was recorded, edited and uploaded in under 2 hours from start to finish. So expect a certain ... artisanal roughness ... as the Sigmas review The Eaters of Light.
The ood one is well and truly out this week as Laura and Alpha review Empress of Mars. What did they think of this rollicking tale of subterranean adventure? Plus Ice Warrior beat poetry ... as you do.
The Sigmas review The Lie of the Land and contend with sleep deprivation, politics and ridiculous accents.
Ood One Out Chris Sigma is joined by playwright and improviser Tom Salinsky for a chat about The Pyramid at the End of the World - a meditation on love, war and happenstance & winner of the 2017 award for longest title of an episode of Doctor Who. Also there's a bit of Beckett and a Commoodity-chosen song about the end of the world as we know it.
Oods Alpha & Sigma are joined by the Story Beast himself, John Henry Falle to discuss Extremis, a none-more-Moffat tale of virtue, hope and valour in the final hour.
The lonely ood, Chris Sigma, is joined by Bryn Salisbury and Dylan Emery to review the episode Oxygen (continuing the preference for very short titles this season). Plus These Suits Were Made for Working, Classic Andy, Chris Apha's HaikWho and we get Siri to help us record. There might even be a special guest... (there is a special guest).
Sigma is joined by Angus Dunican to review the latest episode of Doctor Who, Knock Knock. Plus there's the usual songs, poetry and comment from the other Oods.
Join Chris Sigma as he reunites with Andy to review Thin Ice. This week we also have the first in our rolling roster of honourary Ood co-hosts - Emily Jenik.
Sigma and Alpha reunite to review Smile - a sort-of spiritual sequel to Blink in that both titles revolve around things you can do with your face.
This week Chris Sigma is joined by long term co-host (and excellent life-partner) Laura Mead to review the Doctor Who Series 10 opener - The Pilot.
"It was a bit like Sean Connery trying to do an American accent through an electrified sock..."
Reviews: Time Heist
Air Date: 20th September 2014
Song: Spoon Forehead based on Goldfinger by Shirley Bassey
Additional notes: This episode was recorded in the present day of 2015. Next week we return to 2014 - yes, our brains hurt too.
"This is like the Sharon Stone's crotch of monsters..."
Reviews: Listen
Air Date: 13th September 2014
Song: Listen based on Real Love by John Lennon
Additional notes: This is the first episode after Chris Sigma returned from his three month sabbatical to the States. We had to edit out the snogging.***
*true
"He had a bouquet of quivering fronds..."
Reviews: Robot of Sherwood
Air Date: 6th September 2014
Song: Ood-e-lally based on Oo-De-Lally by Roger Miller
Additional notes: We recorded this during the week that Robot of Sherwood went out and then promptly forgot to release it until April 2015. So we did the sketch about Jeremy Clarkson BEFORE he actually got fired for punching someone. Timey, and indeed, wimey.
"Talk to the plunger coz the eyestalk ain't listening..."
Reviews: Into the Dalek
Air Date: 30th August 2014
Song: A Dalek Called Rusty based on Money for Nothing by Dire Straits
Additional notes: What of the absent Ood Sigma? He was actually in Texas this week and completely forgot to record a review or write any sketches. This is why the discussion is a little more highbrow and intellectual than normal.
"This is a Doctor who doesn't really care if people like him."
Reviews: Deep Breath
Air Date: 23rd August 2014
Song: Brand New Face based on Super Bass by Nicki Minaj
Additional notes: Sigma wasn't actually in Texas during his segments. He was in Chicago. This is why he mentions eating "Chicago Mix" popcorn and not a massive slab of barbecue beef brisket. Cheese and caramel really do go together incredibly well.
"It's a wonderful idea. The Doctor stops running is a wonderful idea."
Reviews: The Time of the Doctor
Air Date: 25th December 2013
Song: It's Time (of the Doctor) based on It's Time by Imagine Dragons
Additional notes: This was the first time we had recorded together for 6 months. It was so lovely to all be in the same room again and we had a cracking time. Laura's impression of Handles was so funny that we kept spoiling the take by laughing over the top of her recording. We are professionals.
"I punched the air in delight!"
"No, that was my face."
Reviews: Day of the Doctor
Air Date: 23rd November 2013
Additional notes: This episode was recorded in January 2014 which is an embarrassingly long time after the anniversary episode aired. However we didn't publish the podcast until July 2014 so the whole January thing isn't looking so bad now, is it?
“Like mayflies, we are! Fluttering around with no mouths...”
Reviews: Doctor Who Live - The Next Doctor
Air Date: 4th Aug 2013
Additional notes: Peter Capaldi is credited in mega zombie flop "World War Z" as W.H.O Doctor. Did the producers have a secret portal to the future? Probably not, judging from box office receipts...
“I find the sight of a man begging for the lives of his friends… quite sensual.”
Reviews: The Name of the Doctor
Air Date: 31st May 2013
Additional notes: This episode, our season finale, contains our most ambitious sketch to date with 17 podcasters from 3 separate continents getting involved. Thanks to The Doctor Who Podcast, The Tin Dog Podcast, Radio Rassilon, The Minute Doctor Who Podcast, Doctor Who: The Writer's Room, The Doctor Who Book Club, Two-minute Time Lord, Radio Free Skaro and Verity! for their wonderful vocal stylings. Happy summer everyone (or winter).
“We have to get the thrip-wibble to modulate the tharack bar.”
Reviews: Nightmare in Silver
Air Date: 16th May 2013
Additional notes: Guest star Warwick Davis has been in more SF films than you can shake a lightsaber at. But we chose to name this episode after a Ricky Gervais mockumentary he starred in. It isn't very funny. At one point, he gets stuck in a dog flap.
“It was like Batman with old people.”
Reviews: The Crimson Horror
Air Date: 9th May 2013
Additional notes: Two sketches this week had to be completely re-done because Sigma used the laptop's internal microphone to record them by mistake. The Northern gentleman in the first sketch (with a voice like melted chocolate) is special guest star, Jim Atkins. The other one is Alpha. He is trying out a range of accents.
“Overall I enjoyed it ... as I would a drawer of cables.”
Reviews: Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS
Air Date: 2nd May 2013
Additional notes: The talented chap who provides our theme song this week was one of the brilliant students we met during our recent trip to San Francisco. We climbed a big hill to visit his school. In San Francisco you have to climb big hills to do pretty much anything. It's part of the deal - along with awesome dim sum, killer views and hanging off of trams. Also our thighs got pretty trim.
“It's a thing in a thing in a thing...”
Reviews: Hide
Air Date: 25th April 2013
Additional notes: Immediately preceding the recording of this episode the Ood Cast consumed an entire Thorntons Easter egg that didn't even belong to them. See, we're not all sunshine and smiles ... we have an edge. Try not to cut yourself.
“The Ice Warriors are a double threat, if they could dance they'd be a triple threat...”
Reviews: Cold War
Air Date: 18th April 2013
Additional notes: This entire episode was recorded with all the Oods sitting crossed legged on the floor beside a low table. All except Chris Sigma. He had a luxury bean bag.
“When I saw my wife, I was so aroused I vomited up a fruit salad!”
Reviews: The Rings of Akhaten
Air Date: 11th April 2013
Additional notes: During this week the Sigmas have escaped London and travelled to all three countries in Great Britain. Lots of planets have a north...
"I'll tell you right away who I think is wrong ... The Doctor!"
Reviews: The Bells of Saint John
Air Date: 2nd April 2013
Additional notes: The music in this episode spans some 500 years. The day of release was exactly 5 years after the Ood Cast published their first blog post. Happy Anniversary, us!
"Strax's potato bumble fun."
It's February. And what's the first thing you think of when you think of February? That's right...
Christmas.
So with that in mind, the Ood Cast present their review of the Christmas special - The Snowmen.
What would Strax have done in biblical times? What other tall tales did Clara tell? How did Sir Arthur Conan Doyle explain away Madame Vastra to his agent? Can Jenna-Louise Coleman do just the two accents?
These are all questions. Good ones. And we'll answer every single one of them in a vigorously dramatic format. All that and a couple of spirited musical interludes besides.
Come with us on our hideously delayed sleigh ride of wonder.
IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR.
FEBRUARY.
"To fire monkeys into people's bums..."
You know when you win a Christmas hamper at the raffle? You're really excited but then you peek underneath the bottle of cava, bits of raffia and Elizabeth Shaw mints, and you find that someone's padded out the bottom with dusty tins of spam, pineapple chunks in sugar-free syrup and those crackers that taste like baked paper?
This episode is nothing like that.
The Ood Cast (Audio) Annual 2012 is exploding from top to bottom with Christmassy goodness (a bit like Andy), including an opportunity to win a spot as a guest host, the Audio Ood Cast Monster Guide, a story from Michael of Tin Dog Podcast fame, puzzles, fact files, an 80's smash hit and most importantly, THE LITTLEST DOCTOR!
Listen until you feel bloated and sick, then swear off us, promise you'll do better in January and wait for two weeks before giving in and listening again. We know that's what you'll do.
We'll be doing it too.
"It's like a chinchilla!"
In several shades of grey, slightly fuzzy around the edges and beloved of children everywhere, it's the first ever episode of Doctor Who - An Unearthly Child. But what will the Oods make of their first review of a classic episode? Will Andy oscillate with whirling paroxysms of joy? Will Loz fall asleep live on air? Will Sigma reference pagan rituals and summon demons from the netherworld? Will Alph tread the knife edge of politically incorrect comedy without slipping and accentally slicing himself in half like a Damien Hirst sculpture?
Find out ALL THIS and MORE in Episode 10!
Now with added 60's funky time bending flummery.
"Eat a spider & then sit through Vengence of Varos."
At the Ood Cast, you won't be flabbergasted to hear that we hate to see lovely old British institutions taking a hammering from people who really couldn't do any better themselves.
That's right, we're talking about the BBC!
Haterz back off!
Sure, it's not perfect but it's still one of the UK's best features. Along with cream teas, the NHS and Bill Bailey.
So for this episood, we chose to sit the mics next to a speaker grille and record a solid 25 minutes of Radio 4. Because we're highbrow and that.
Also, Goaty. Gotyay? Goatee? Gotye. Because it's slightly more melodic than other cult YouTube sensation 'Gangnam Style' and Laura's Korean is limited to 'hello', 'thank-you' and 'you cannot buy a monkey at this market'*
*True
"May the best of your past be the worst of your future…"
In which we consider the Ponds as companions, people, fictional characters and plot devices.
Join the Ood Cast for a lovely chat about the beautiful and spirited Ponds.
As the Autumnal evenings pull in, pour yourself a hot chocolate and settle back to listen to us discussing these most complex and compelling of modern companions, taking in the entire sweep of their journey with the Doctor.
PLUS the untold story of Amelia Pond's origin, a Bond/ Doctor Who cross-over theme song and an EPIC RAP BATTLE OF TIME.
Begin!
"What the heckington?"
Fingers on nodules, everyone - it's the Ood Cast's semi-regular quiz show format, this time hosted by the redoubtable Laura Sigma.
But what has Loz got in store for her co-hosts? Fiendish musical offerings? Insane leaps of pure fiction that bear little to no resemblance to rational thought? A bit where language breaks down completely?
You bet your sweet brain cells she does. All that and more besides.
Who will win? And what does that say about that person exactly?
Experience the game show that Laura herself describes as "pretty mental".
"You know how mosquitos fly through the rain…?"
She was just a girl. A girl with long legs and an even longer memory. And the skinny guy- fading from the corners of her vision like a puddle disturbed by a footstep - was a nurse. They called him "Mr Sweetdreams" on the night shift because his use of topical anaesthesia was legendary.
She could still hear voices on the wind from the past - talk of dames, plot holes and dry towels, of laughter, longing, loss and a shadowy character spoken of in whispers as The Moff. Why did he enjoy inflicting pain on those who loved him? Was he a misanthrope? A genius? Or just a really twisted scotsman?
What ever he was, she knew she had to get out of town - and fast. But where could she run from that creeping grey menace? Was it ageing or angels that she feared? Was it even fear at all - or the urging of something even more primal - that drove her forward. She shut her eyes - stretched out her pale hands - and gave chase.
"I think he looked rather jolly ... with his cheek tusks. I'm calling them chusks."
The surface of the cube is cold to the touch. Cold but with something surging behind it, like a heart beat.
Like a storm.
You run your fingers along its hard edges, trying to discern something of its function in its form but come up blank. Your mind can't wrap itself around the concept of it. Too advanced, too alien.
You turn to leave and that's when it hums to life, glyphs picked out in a pulsating blue flicker across its dark surface. And that's when you understand, that's when you hear - a history of Earth in five waves of a sonic screwdriver, real lions at Nelson's column, the bonobo tariff, four, mad chattering voices uniting in praise…
You turn and run but already you know it's too late; can already feel the hairs rising on your neck as the bolt of electricity arcs across the void and connects with your heart. And as you slip into the darkness beyond your last thought hangs for a moment in the fading theatre of your subconscious …
That podcast was totally worth it.
"I did like the cyborg - his face looked like pork scratchings stapled to a ball bearing…"
When I was a child, my favourite story was about a podcast that went on forever. A podcast packed with tales of the Old West, talking hammers and a double macchiato and cactus cake meal deal.
A podcast that came from the internet.
By the time this episode arrived, the listeners of the Ood Cast were used to the strange and the impossible. But were they ready for guest stars from Radio Free Skaro, The Two Minute Timelord, The Doctor Who Podcast, Radio Rassilon, The Doctor Who Book Club and The Minute Doctor Who Podcast?
Where they came from didn't matter, as a man once said "You can find them all at www.doctorwhopodcastalliance.org".
Do I believe the story? I don't know. But next time you're on the internet, ask someone why they don't have a marshal or a sheriff or a policeman there?
"Because that would be almost impossible to enforce in a global digital community" they'll say.
And then they'll smile like they got a secret.
Like they got their own special podcast to listen to. Their very own podcast that came … from the internet.
'Ow, my plums.'
Riddell pushed his way through the undergrowth, the thick, verdant leaves of the jungle tugging at his shirt sleeves and the exposed skin beneath. An array of flying insects buzzed ceaselessly around him, drawn by the salty tang of the sweat pooling in the furrows of his forehead and the shifting plain of flesh between his shoulder blades.
And yet the mighty game hunter didn't move an inch. Despite the irritants, the discomfort, the yearning pain in his thighs, he remained motionless.
She was beautiful.
Less than 15 feet away, the Ood Cast Season 5, Episode 3 stretched its long neck and let out a low, satisfied roar. The beast was clearly at peace.
Vulnerable.
From his hidden perch Riddell could clearly see every inch of his prey. The ferocious looking claws, the parody songs, the review of Dinosaurs on a Spaceship, even the welcome presence of a return appearance by the Littlest Doctor.
He was near enough to see the whites of its eyes ... and the hilarious spoof sketches about secondhand dinosaurs, T-Rexes in the bath, killer kestrels & a robotic Laurel & Hardy.
This was his chance. His whole life had led up to this moment.
With a measured exhalation Riddell brought his rifle up to his shoulder and aimed for the heart...
"I think that sounds a bit like an ill cockerel..."
This week, flogging a dead cybermat, the Ood Cast return to the concept of "Sexy Daleks". There’s also an earnest debate, peculiar mouth noises, a wet shave and some filing cabinets. Not to mention a new companion, an exciting twist and the Special Weapons Dalek.
Elsewhere, an industrial manufacturer gets an order they just can’t handle, Skaro may or may not have been destroyed and Alpha's being a good Dad.
Yes, a brilliant first episode has flashed past our screens. We've tried to review it but to be honest, it’s all a bit of a Blur...
We're just flirting to keep you interested.
“Run a bath, lie back, relax and prepare to have your animal instincts awoken.”
We don’t know about you, but our eyeballs are glowing white-hot in anticipation of the start of the next series. It’s a bit like '42'. We are running out of cucumber slices. To try and whet our appetites, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE OODS got out pens, paper & ipads and set to work creating a smorgasbord of plays, stories, memories, poetry and vignettes to amuse, move and inspire you. And to take your mind off reading any spoiler-stuffed reviews (we’re looking at you, Dr Who Magazine)...
Join Alpha, Andy, Sigma and Loz from cradle to- well - now, as they explore what goes on in the writer's room, how to ride a triceratops, why the Doctor fought a dragon and the more sensuous side of the Daleks.
(clue: it’s ribbed for your pleasure)
Whoopee!
"And the winner is..."
The Oscars. The Golden Globes. The BAFTAs. Rear of the Year.
These are some award ceremonies we have heard of and, in some cases, been nominated for (Andy came fourteenth in the 1987 Rear of the Year - we're very proud).
A little late to capitalise on the awards season, perhaps, but the fevered minds at The Ood Cast are rolling out the red carpet for the great, the good and the naggingly-unsatisfactory-in-some-minor-way to assess Series 6 as a whole and divvy up some hand-cast trinkets to the things we loved and those we loved a little less.
(Come on, you're not listening to a normal podcast here ... we love everything!)
So take your seats, adjust those tuxedos and swishy dresses and enjoy The Ood Cast Awards 2012!
"She has a nice round face with dimples on it ... and I quite like her hair."
Doctor Who is nearly 50. It has been around for almost half a century and yet remains one of the most popular, creative and vital shows on television.
And the secret to this ridiculous longevity? Sure scripts, actors and production values play a part but the key ingredient, we would argue, is change.
The ability to renew itself, to change almost entirely and yet remain completely recognisable has emerged over the years as the programme's greatest strength.
Now join the Ood Cast to celebrate the latest in a long glorious line of changes as Jenna-Louise Coleman is announced as the new companion. Hear their opinions on the future of our beloved programme and then be prepared to be whisked into the recent past as Chris Sigma presents his feedback from the official convention.
Past, present, future - all of time and space is waiting for you.
Plus some people explode.
"It’s a pantomime about Fascism."
Oooh, you lucky, lucky listeners.
Have we got a treat for you?
Gareth Roberts, writer of our Favourite Show Ever and hot off the desk from publishing his most recent novel, the Douglas Adams-inspired Shada, has floated down like a lovely hairy cherub wearing a Skype headset so we can ask him embarrassing questions on your behalf.
What's it like working on the show? What's the worst idea he's ever had? What’s going to happen in Season 7? What if the Fourth Doctor had touched the wires together in “Genesis of the Daleks” and Robert Shearman consequently had to write an episode called “Clam”?
All this AND CLAYTON HICKMAN IN THE BACKGROUND!
Monkeys, monkeys!
"You spoke, we listened ... and then we ignored you."
Everyone loves a good quiz, right?
We do, anyway. It's just that some things don't work for quizzes - especially not Doctor Who. We proved that conclusively the last time we tried it.
And we're experienced enough as podcasters to know not to keep flogging the same dead horses once we've checked for a pulse. Not even we would try a crazy idea like that again.
But on the other hand, the title Regeneration Game is too good/bad a pun to not use again. So get brushing up on your borderline-Who-related trivia and brace yourself for levels of logic and gravitas you'd usually expect from the Ood Cast.
Answer: A deluded group of obsessed podcasters that insist on chasing pun-based hilarity in formats that no one quite seems to expect.
BUZZ!
Contestant: What is ... the Ood Cast?
"It was a bit like being on Endor but with Willo the Wisp..."
Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas.
It's March, you say?
Well, it's a show about time travel. What do you want from us?
Yep. It had to happen at some point, we finally got around to reviewing the Christmas special. Was it a festive treat with all the trimmings or a disappointing mess composed of dry meat, lumpy gravy and too many sprouts?
Christmas metaphors. We're using Christmas metaphors now.
So listen to this frothy audio concoction of a Doctor Who podcast to find out & along the way enjoy such wonders as a 3 minute version of the story, a jolly morning at the Androzani barracks, a Take That song about alien trees and even a very special (fictional) guest star.
And the triumphant return of the Ood Cast Christmas theme song.
Jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jing...
"Fifty episodes. We have been doing this crazy, stupid, over-ambitious podcast for fifty episodes."
So this is it. Fifty episodes of the Ood Cast- we hope you've had as much fun listening to them as we had making them.
Thanks to everyone who emailed in and helped us create this 'Best of...' episode, we have a veritable pick n' mix of fan favourite sketches, a harp rendition of our theme (see, we're dead classy), our most requested songs and all sorts of memories from how we stumbled our way onto the Dr Who podcast scene.
Not to mention Laura wetting herself again over the Myrka having a poo.
She's an odd one.
But we wouldn't have it any other way.
Right, we better get started on episode 51...
"The Doctor's Mum is so fat."
Greeting Travellers, time has ground to a halt, all moments are now, come play at eternity in the blink of an eye.
In this week's Ood Cast you'll find 80s blue lightening, Time Lord chat up lines, a review of The Wedding of River Song, some exploding tonsils, Latin mispronunciations, atrocious Birmingham accents and a chronological retelling of the story of River Song set to music.
There's also the usual Ood Cast News, mimes, flights of fancy and words of whimsy.
Look us in the eye and tell us you're not excited.
"Listeners, if anyone does know what Laura is talking about, please write in and let the rest of the Ood Cast know..."
Hi. How're you doing today? Welcome to the Ood Cast Store.
Within these aging walls you'll find whole worlds to explore. We stock everything any self-respecting Whovian may require. Why not take a look around?
Ground Floor: A review of Closing Time.
First Floor: Two goats & a penny.
Second Floor: Doctor Who Monsters vs Customer Services.
Third Floor: Perfume & Ladies' Underwear.
Fourth Floor: Cyber Sex & the City.
Fifth Floor: The Power of LURVE.
WE'RE FREE!
“I'd like a pint of ginger beer, please.”
A thorough and enthusiastic review of The God Complex this week spirals off into a debate as to which holy figure would do most damage in a hotel environment. Not an essential underlying theme to the episode but an interesting diversion and the sort of thing we feel we do well at The Ood Cast.
When not debating the finer points of sacred vandalism or making oblique references to ill-fated Australian pop stars we also find time to cross-pollinate Doctor Who with classic British sitcoms, listen to At Home With The Minotaurs, spin a bit of Fat Boy Slim and squeeze in an inordinate amount of mooing.
Mooooooooooooo!
(There we go again)
"That's my favourite ever barn dance..."
In this week's Ood Cast we review an episode where Amy waits over 3 decades for something interesting to happen. Regular listeners can probably relate...
But good things come to those that ... well, you know ... so join us as we split the episode into two time streams, attend a dinner party hosted by fictional robots, give head rubs, talk earnestly about the meaning of things, get new equipment and discover who Gregory McCaramel is.
News, reviews and haikus to chase away post-Doctor Who blues.
It's a kindness.
"... as if every single fibre of him was steeped in the blood of kittens."
With gateaux, mockney and added Americans, the whole Ood Cast are finally back in the room together as they gently fillet and fry (with a wooden pan) Mark Gatiss' latest episode, Night Terrors.
Enjoy a trip to a UK retail favourite, poke fun at small children, analyse the London Riots in the context of time-travel and hear us accuse politicians of being a bit rubbish.
We wouldn't want to be in Westminster right now. We bet they're quaking in their boots.
If all that sounds a bit full-on then fear not, we also talk a lot about Doctor Who, between songs of revolution and early 90s bubblegum techno-pop.
Something's in the wardrobe - and it's not Mr Tumnus.
"It's a little, tiny gypsy. I imprisoned him in my nose."
Ood cast, ood cast, uber alles...
The Oods are back with a vengeance - spluttering slowly to our recording booth and pulling together another slice of silliness and sycophancy for your delectation.
Sadly missing Chris Alpha for the inaugral episood of Season 4, we've roped in a colleague from across the pond to add some salt to the rim of our margherita of joy - Erik from the Dr Who Book Club.
So come on - let's kiss Hitler.
Kill.
We meant kill.
"They've taken her, you see. They've taken my fiancée."
This is it. The final episode of Season 3. The intricate, gossamer threads of our artful narrative finally weave together to reveal the epic truth. Join the Ood Cast as they plunge headlong through time & space in a thrilling, last gasp dash to save one of their own.
Witness samurai sword wielding Time Lords, robotic Canadians, ruddy-cheeked podcast proteges and dastardly revenge-stricken megalomaniacs in camper vans. Thrill to the sounds of weirdly accurate baby noises, lactating Sontarans & playdough manipulating Daleks. All this, a review of A Good Man Goes To War and a song about Headless Monks sung simultaneously by fourteen different podcasters scattered across the globe.
Featuring the vocal talents of Radio Free Skaro, The Two Minute Time Lord, Radio Rassilon, The Doctor Who Podcast, Bridging The Rift, Tim's Take On, Adventures in Time, Space & Music, The Minute Doctor Who Podcast, The Crossover Adventures, The Doctor Who Book Club, The DWO Whocast & The Flashing Blade, this is one barn-storming audio joy blitz.
Guest starring Clayton Hickman & Gareth Roberts with amazing cover art by Louis B Tosche of the Mostly Harmless Cutaway Podcast.
In the language of the Forest, we'd be called The Ood Cat (they don't have a word for podcast).
"Ging-ganger-goolie-goolie-goolie-goolie-watcha-ging-ganger-goo!"
On this week's Ood Cast, Laura is unavoidably detained, so the boys have the run of the studio and a little organised chaos reigns.
They debate the rights and wrongs of the fate of the gangers (very fleetingly) then discuss clumsy moral dilemmas and whether Andy was actually right about something or if he just thinks he was...
On top of that (oh yes, there's more) we have a bit of a look at a day in the life of a pile of discarded flesh, participate in a game show with a difference and have a listen to the Doctor and his double getting to know each other.
All that, and a song too.
So, do you wanna be in our ganger?
"It just looked like a crazy jacuzzi that somebody had sharted in..."
On this week's Ood Cast, the Oods are spooked out, concerned and over the moon with things all at once as they review The Rebel Flesh. But even slightly freaked out, we still manage to run at you with some freshly-concocted Oody goodness, like a madman with a stick.
So watch out this week while we dissect what happens when you use the flesh technology to fool your friends into thinking you have a real girlfriend, unearth an advertising treat from the future (it's acidic and terrific) and take a look into an official inspection of another mining plant's secretarial staff.
All that and Chris Alpha catches us on series 6 through the medium of haiku while Laura duets with her own ganger.
Classic.
"Toast: It's like someone took bread and really kicked it up a notch."
You remember that phrase 'Event TV'? Well, having waited for 9 years to see a) Doctor Who back properly and b) 6 more years to see an episode written by Neil Gaiman, certain members of the crew of the good ship Ood were a little excited to say the least. And what a treat we were given...
So now it's our turn to share the joy - this week's Ood Cast is the usual mix of cheery discussion (with a bit of added over excitement), music and sketches.
We see what the Doctor makes of an interior designer's version of the console room, catch up on what's cool with the Doctor, find out exactly what his bedroom is like and are yet again plagued by technical difficulties...
But don't worry, we soldiered on. After all, we're Oods.
Oods are cool now.
"The dog star looked a little bit like Anish Kapoor's Leviathan ... except for a sort of glowing white version of it."
Avast ye net lubbers!
Grab your hook hands, strap on your wooden legs and join the Oods on the high seas this week as they slightly review Curse of the Black Spot and then have a look at what happens when they're let loose on the suspiciously-coloured remaining drinking supplies.
There's pirates ... in space, Downton Abbey ... at sea and in space (kind of), a special section where the Doctor kindly explains how things work to us stupid humans and then we see what happens when the Doctor and the TARDIS want to go somewhere a little piratey but just can't quite understand each other.
All that and a magnificent song from Laura - all together now: "Whooooo lives in a spaceship just above the sea? Spongebob Bonneville..."
(not really)
"You should all devote countless hours to rubbing baby oil into our huge freaky heads."
Equipment malfunctions be damned- this week three of the Oods brush aside a major technical hitch and are joined by the 2 Minute Time Lord and Radio Free Skaro motormouths Chip and Steven as they bring you their review of 'Day of the Moon', the episode so scary that Laura attempted to hide behind both parents and her fiancé at the same time, whilst trying to appear nonchalant.
It didn't work.
With cracking sketches and a tribute to the King of Soft Rock, this glitchtastic Ood Cast will hopefully be worth the wait...
"That is the best insult ever. You're just far too clever and inventive..."
Remember the old days, when everyone's favourite podcast with a tenuous Ood pun for a title used to release new stuff every week? We're finding it hard to remember too. But those days are back!
We've talked Andy down from the ceiling, lifted Chris Alpha's jaw from the carpet, dried Chris Sigma's tears of joy and tempted Loz back to a studio environment with a promise that she can play Fruit Ninja afterwards if she's good... and all to talk about The Impossible Astronaut for your listening pleasure.
Along the way we pack in a peek at a White House emergency, have a driving lesson, interview the newest creatures on the block and see what life was like for the Doctor-worshipping inhabitants of Easter Island. And that's as well as the regular Ood Cast News and a musical treat...
It's great to be back! Geronimo!
Or something.
"I've got scurvy now, scurvy is cool."
Well here we go again ...
Season Six is so close we can taste it. The expectation of its riches, its promises and dark rewards, fill our every waking moment. The sense of something spectacular is palpable. The ghost train is opening its doors...
Join The Ood Cast, as they guide you through the next seven weeks of televisual wonder in a preview episode gilded with the kind of balls-out crazy speculation that could get a person arrested. Prophets or madmen? Seers or fools? Decide for yourself as you hear what kind of hat the Doctor will wear in EVERY EPISODE, what’s impossible about the impossible astronaut and something about apricots.
All this and a review of the Doctor Who Experience PLUS highlights of Season Five recapped in a four minute mega-medley of over 35 popular tunes with the same chord sequence.
Remember what’s past, look to the future but beware SPOILERS.
(and by SPOILERS we mean, ill-informed guesswork and a sprinkling of nuts)
"I think I can make the noise of a door creaking open with my hair..."
Bit of a weird one for you this week as The Ood Cast go back to basics. Four people, four microphones, in a room, talking. Yes, this is the Oods unplugged and unhinged without the aid of a script or a safety net.
(And because we recorded it three weeks ago we're also woefully out of date when it comes to details of Season 6 so definitely no spoilers)
There's even less cohesion than usual as Andy, Laura, Alpha and Sigma jump from one topic to the next with the linguistic grace of a herd of buffalos with big feet dancing swan lake on a minefield. Comments that have no immediate relevance, a review of Space & Time, hysteria, memoirs, podcest and a very special birthday wish all make an appearance.
And, okay, there are a few short sketches about the Brigadier and a cover of a song by the lovely folk at Radio Rassilon too.
But mostly it's tales told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing...
We wouldn't have it any other way.
"And even if it was the real Adric, you'd hardly go to him for advice on how to not crash into the Earth, would you?"
They're back - the Ood Cast is whole once more.
Witness Andy & Alpha's triumphant return in a blaze of domestic bliss, voyeurism, Myrka-wrangling, donkey-diving and flat out convention-running mayhem.
Yes, this week on the show our prodigal podcasters are treated to their very own mini-convention stuffed to the gills with special guests, music and cockamamy insight.
And in what we promise is the very last piece of Gallifrey One coverage, Sigma & Loz debrief us on the adventure of a lifetime amidst luggage-shaped life rafts and falling debris.
Not your usual convention.
But then again what do you expect when the ticket's free?
"Chris was representing. I was repre-snoozing..."
It's the final part of our Gallifrey coverage. The dream is ending.
(Alph & Andy will be back next episode, we promise)
But what have we got in store for you until then?
A familiar voice in a La-la-land sketch with a twist, last day memories and analysis, quiz battles, personal highlights, podcest, pretty words and a geek anthem to blow your socks off.
So long LA, it's been emotional.
Epic & emotional.
And fairly calorific.
"Oh... it's made out of raffia. Yaaaaaay?"
Welcome, brave audio travellers.
It's Day Three of our Gallifrey coverage and Laura & Sigma are bouncing off the walls pepped up on a sugar rush delivered straight to the heart by America's finest cuisine.
Stuffed with subs, porked out on pancakes and filled with Philly cheese steaks our podcasting pair bring you a round-up of Saturday's experiences including their respective panel highlights, a discussion about the Masquerade of Mandragora and why they don't get the whole Tikki thing.
Plus a typical American daytime commercial and a song where Laura takes the three most recent incarnations of the Doctor to task for their various foibles.
That's right, we said 'foibles', we're not playing around here.
"It's like looking in a dark wood and finding all the squirrels have the faces of friends."
Welcome back.
The first full day of Gallifrey has been and gone & the two globe-trotting Oods have been stunned by the sheer generosity and warmth of welcome they've received on the West coast of the Americas.
Join them now for a short recap of the day, an explanation that sheds some light on Laura's childhood, a daring escape in a dimensionally-transcendental suitcase and a song about convention badge ribbons.
Feistier than an entire lagoon of Amy Ponds.
"In a special treat for listeners in the UK, Andrew & Chris will be recording themselves crying gently into their tea."
In the first of a series of mini-episodes, Sigma & Laura set off for the Gallifrey convention in Los Angeles, leaving poor old Andy & Alpha behind to fend for themselves in the chilly gloom of London Town.
Listen as our heroes share their hopes & fears for the coming week before a special song at the end rubs it in, Denver-style.
Then keep listening every day this week for updates on the convention, interviews (if we pluck up the courage to talk to guests) & other stuff that we'll no doubt think is funny at 2 in the morning when we're three sheets to the wind.
You can also follow us through the lens of the Twitterverse at @theoodcast and #gally.
Happy trails.
“True or False? A Sontaran’s favourite food is potato waffle?”
Strap yourself in for an entirely new podcasting experience as The Ood Cast present The Regeneration Game. Yes, no one has ever tried it before, it’s a quiz show based on Doctor Who.
Genius.
No, wait, come back, this is different, honest - this is a new kind of quiz. A quiz where intelligence, an agile brain and an exhaustive knowledge of the subject will have no bearing whatsoever on whether you end up winning.
Maybe it’s because the questions are mostly made up? Maybe it’s because Chris Sigma hasn’t brought a pen and paper to write down the scores? Maybe it’s because truth is an abstract concept which can only be explored and never known?
Whatever the reason you can be sure of an adrenalin-filled question-base thrill ride of an episode including title mash ups, mime, Dalek co-hosts, over 9 flavours of jingle and an appearance by “The Moth”.
Let’s get QUIZZICAL!
“And sometimes he puts his chin on his neck and looks a bit like a skinhead Ronald McDonald...”
Ravenous for some fun? Listen to the hungry Ood Cast as they speculate which Doctors would make the best-of-the-comestibles, encounter a brief hiatus anytime they try to say the word 'gaseous' and indulge themselves in ridiculous flights of foley.
Also, overhear why the Gelth truly deserved extinction and why Doctor Who is like a milkshake (back on the food again? We've got to start having dinner before we record...)
"Every time he had to act with Katherine Jenkins he forgot his lines and went all giggly."
Welcome, Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls, Frozen Collateral & Dickensian Urchins, to a bumper Ood Cast Christmas Special.
If you thought all the festive treats were over then think again - we've slaved for days over a hot mixing desk to bring you something very special indeed. So why not peak inside our oven (podcast episode)? There you'll find bickering families, imaginary childhood friends, exploding grass, jealous ice-pops and a bunch of eight year olds dissecting Ghost Light.
All that plus our review of A Christmas Carol (by way of bonsai, first kisses and adjustable time ratios), a song about upload schedules and the answer to the question "What would happen if Steven Moffat wrote an episode of The Ood Cast?"
AND a sneak preview of what you should expect from us in 2011.
Merry Crystal Feast, Everyone!
“I really enjoyed them skirting round the issue and occasionally touching it and jumping away like some sort of frightened cat.”
On this week’s Ood Cast, still a member down, Laura, Andy and Chris Alpha take the Slitheen by the skin suit and use their time wisely. Not by invading the Earth using decoy pigs in space suits (or even pigs in blankets – it is the festive season after all), but by revisiting series one’s Boom Town. They wonder out-loud into handily positioned microphones whether the episode was as shaky as the planning permission for that nuclear power station in the episode must have been….
We discover (not necessarily this order): just what happened at that Cardiff Council planning meeting when the power station was approved; why Chris Alpha wanted to make a snowman instead of watching the episode; why they all agreed that they did and did not like it; and that Laura had absolutely no inspiration for a song this week.
Only joking. Of course there’s a song.
“If I’d gotten in there I’d have flattened myself against the doors and built up some sort of coat stand barricade…”
You know when you go shopping, and something just leaps out at you? Literally?
Well, this week on The Ood Cast we are Sigma-less for the first time, and have a good look around before trying a spot of nostalgia to mask our temporary loss by going back to the very beginning of the good Doctor’s return to give the traditional Ood Cast treatment to the Series One opener, Rose.
We whisk you through a head writer’s neighbourhood gossip, the costume selection process, and we have a go at explaining one of the enduring mysteries of the new series – just why did the Eighth Doctor regenerate?
All this and some poetry, and there might well be some songs too. You never know…
"Come along, Smith!"
Yes, come join the Ood Cast as we dip our toes in the warm, nostalgic waters of The Sarah Jane Adventures and our first review for the series, Death of the Doctor.
Unsettlingly Andrew-less, we draft in a close family member to discuss days gone by, whether people's heads fit their shoulders, the ways we deal with bereavement and how Santiago is like a chicken.
There's also sketches about the dangers of a whole species having the same job and what would happen if RTD went more RTD than he'd ever gone before.
GLORIOUS!
"It's like asking Superman to weed your herbaceous border... "
An exciting landmark episode of The Ood Cast this week as we conduct our very first interview with someone who is actually involved professionally with Doctor Who.
Listen as we struggle valiantly to maintain a thin veneer of calm while quizzing Mr Clayton Hickman on Sarah Jane, The Brilliant Book, his time at Doctor Who Magazine and anything else we think would be sensible and interesting to talk about.
Then continue to listen in horror whilst we get over excited and ask him to divulge secrets to Season 6 and which monster he would get intimate with to save the universe? All this and a telling off, a lost bet, a murder, tales from the wilderness years and an Elton John song about the dark side of fandom.
You're welcome.
"What happens if you cut off his legs? If you bisect the Doctor, do you get two Doctors?"
In this fortnight's episood, we get mildly heated over regenerative issues, dissect some classic British comedy TV, find out what a Splish is, create some memorable nicknames for former Doctors and tackle both Madness and The Beatles (no, it's not about 'Turn Left').
Join us for a packed episode- and find the answer to the riddle - 'Why did the Timelord jump out of the tree?'
There might even be a special guest or ten ...
"Steven Moffat? He's a squat, wiry haired, plump, plum-eared genius ..."
Theatrical nudity, sycophantic grovelling and an Ice Warrior with a grudge.
The Ood Cast is back with more unflattering descriptions of the leading lights of our televisual lives. Find out what happened when Sigma met the Moff, listen to the Ood's first script collaboration, get an update on the operating status of the Littlest Doctor and spoiler alert find out key locations for the Christmas Special ...
Also, win a drink on us, and listen in horror as we jump the (space) shark.
Ah, it's good to be back!
"I'm going to sex it right up ... like a sexy bent shoe."
That's what happens when you leave two recently engaged Who fans alone with a microphone ...
This week, Chris Sigma and Laura present a whole hodge podge of tidbits scattered from the final two episodes, present the winner of the lyrics competition, discover just how tantalising a cup of tea can be and listen to the existential crisis of a Star Whale. It's a bit schizophrenic- but with a person who's had ten other personalities being our starting point, who can blame us?
"It's like dissecting a kitten. It's just not as cute when it's all in bits everywhere ..."
On this week's bumper and rather euphoric Ood Cast, the reverie of a season finale goes to our heads ... or is that the wine?
Either way, we have loads of fun, and its probably unintelligible to anyone who wasn't there. Sorry about that. Well, we're not - you don't have to pay for this ...
As well as our late discussion of whether Steven Moffat pulled off his first attempt at a finale, we have a bit of a nose around a museum gallery of unusual fossils, find out how Rory gets on at a job interview, drop in on the results of the fire safety investigation into the TARDIS explosion and see how many of us it takes to stop Andy talking his way through the entire show.
We're almost at the end of our season, with the finale just around the corner ... but are we threatened by how good The Big Bang was?
You bet we are...
"He fall into the crack and he never come back ... that's a-Rorrrrrrry ..."
This week, the Ood Cast try and ignore the temptation to run around screaming like excited children (we did that after the recording had finished) and take a trip into a land of childhood memories and councils of war...
We see what would happen if the Anti-Doctor coalition had picked a different book from Amy's shelves and our helpful fly-on-the-wall learns how all those different species put aside their differences to trap their slippery target.
We find time to talk about The Pandorica Opens too, of course, and the weekly song makes a triumphant return ...
"I'm trying to think of a biscuit that rhymes with Pandorica ..."
On this week's sparkling Ood Cast, we embrace World Cup fever ... and talk about "The Lodger".
Join us as we find out what happened when the footballing might of Gallifrey's sole player took on the ringers of Skaro's planetary playmakers; blow the whistle on a secret habit that the Littlest Doctor thought he had hidden from everyone; discover what some football pundits made of James Corden's constant presence on our screens at the weekend, sympathise with Laura's sore throat, get slightly put off by the Master of theatrical gestures and also hear what topical thing Alpha thinks should be in the next series of Who.
So, squeeze yourself through those turnstiles, get a mug of bovril and settle down for kick off with the Ood Cast.
Plunger ball!
"Finger nails are good at scratching ..."
In this week’s Ood Cast, a host of stars...
We join Richard Curtis as he receives some feedback on his first draft of Vincent and the Doctor, talk about beauty and colour and other giant horse-turkey related nonsense and tag along with a tour of a rather interesting gallery.
And we’re joined by a star completely of his own making: Laura’s dad – who blows us away (like pencil shavings on his sketch pad) with this week’s song.
All that, plus the Ood Cast news and a very special visit from a tiny scale model TARDIS ... carrying the one and only Littlest Doctor.
How can you not join us?
"David Tennant will bring his flugelhorn."
This week's Ood Cast is a voyage of discovery.
We take a sneak peak into the TARDIS to see exactly what the Doctor said to Ambrose on the way home from her brave attempt to provoke an inter-species war; we find out what the machinery of the podcast would be like with an essential cog wiped from existence; discover that we can still be touched by an episode ending; present a fitting and lovely lament to the passing of a certain character; and more importantly, realise that it is still possible for one man to disappoint us and make our review section less excitable than usual ...
(Begin fist shaking ...)
All together now:
CHIBNALL!
"Right, we're going to convert this woman, but we'll start with the bikini areas ..."
This week on The Ood Cast, we all go a bit mental. There's a review of "The Hungry Earth" in which we mercilessly rip into Chris Chibnall before all agreeing that we rather liked the episode, some truly terrifying accent work, Laura explains why Jon Pertwee reminds her of a sheep that does taekwondo, Andy makes one too many pun-based Dad jokes, Alpha educates us on the provenance of the Silurians and Sigma delves into the psychological differences between men and women when watching scenes involving physical pain.
There's also some made up news, a subterranean job interview, a visit to the British Secret Service, a segment set behind the scenes at a Doctor Who production meeting and the results of our Underground song competition.
Did you miss us?
So much.
"The only thing missing for me was three of them in a bath rolling down the hillside."
On this week's Ood Cast, we face the consequences of leaving too much psychic pollen lying around our perfectly appointed studio and that's as well as dropping in on the Doctor "acquiring" said narcotic substance, hearing what happened to the frozen Peruvian folk band, discussing what we made of The Shaun of the Summer Wine (sorry, Amy's Choice) and, last but not least, a visit from a legendary 70s rock group ...
So, make your choice ...
"Funny how you can say something in your head, and it sounds ... fine."
We sharpen up our canines in this week's Ood Cast - and that's got nothing to do with dogs and pencil sharpeners...
Join us to revel in Venetian wonder as we find out what the aftermath of the freak weather was for gondoliers, and how this event affected the course of opera... We drop in on another parents' evening and hear what happened when a popular fishing programme took the show over to the waterways of Italy.
And that's as well as the usual mix of Ood Cast news, songs and aural dance...
"Only in Doctor Who would you have a conversation ... with a man in the process of having his neck snapped."
Pull up a comfy chair and relax - it's nice in here ...
In this week's Ood Cast, we treat you so very, very well. As well as the regular news and the usual review, we explore the musical side to the Byzantium with two songs - TWO!
We do actually talk a bit about Flesh and Stone too, as well as grabbing a sneaky peek at the future of Church fetes, and maybe ... just maybe, there's a Myrka joke hiding in there somewhere ...
So, pour yourself something to calm the nerves and have a listen ...
We'll get you sorted out.
"I can save the day from ANYTHING!"
Dare you come out from behind that sofa?
Of course you should. We've got a new Ood Cast for you.
And this week, we talk about every aspect of "The Time of Angels" except for the angels themselves, we welcome the first Dalek agony aunt, face up to the most daunting Who villain ever and the littlest Doctor pays us a visit...
We also eavesdrop on the end of a long day for a Weeping Angel as well as a ballad to make even the most stoney-hearted heavenly creature crumble...
So, download and feast on this!
"Would you like some cake? Dalek cake?"
Yep, the Daleks are the scariest of all the enemies the Doctor has ever faced. And they now serve Earl Grey ...
This week on the Ood Cast, the boys are left alone to discuss Victory of the Daleks, we get a Speech Therapist to analyse the speech patterns of the tin-plated despots in an attempt to see whether their problems are just psychological, and we're treated to a glimpse of what happened when some of them agreed to attend a group therapy session...
So sit back, relax and get your nearest mutated Kaled to serve you a brew. Oh, and would you like a biscuit with that? As reliable as they may be at improbably balancing tea trays on sink plungers, they always forget the digestives...
Stupid Daleks.
"What do you save? Humanity or a huge manatee?"
Tired of hearing the same four voices week in, week out on The Ood Cast? Well, this week we do away with Chris Alpha entirely and replace him with a nice man from the BBC. Our new friend Geoff is polite, well spoken and enthusiastic. His hobbies include underground travel, cyber begging and annoying David Tennant.
And boy does he have a story to tell.
Elsewhere on the show we have even more new voices in our tenuously acronymed feature MOP on Moff, a review of The Beast Below, a sketch about the parent/ teacher interview from hell (or Lancashire) and a lovely song about Star Whales.
Join us next week when we'll probably be breaking out the ring modulators (and Alpha will be making his triumphant return).
This isn't going to be big on dignity.
"Automatically, as soon as you heard it, you had your pulse rising, you were jollied along, it was like riding a horse full tilt into the jaws of danger."
Finally, we have new Doctor Who to talk about. After a year of intermittent fits and starts, one-off specials and tortured swan songs, we've suddenly got pure unadulterated Who delivered direct to our brain boxes, jolting us out of our navel-gazing like a hit of adrenalin straight to the heart. BAM!
The 11th Hour has blazed across our screens, as surreal as it was beautiful, full of cocksure swagger, tingling spines and slightly dodgy CGI. But was it everything we hoped? Is the future of our beloved programme in safe hands?
Find out in this week's slightly extended episode of The Ood Cast, a heady brew of fevered discussion, zero tolerance, fickle youngsters, heartfelt balladry and lion metaphors.
Where do you want to start?
"Wide-spread contagion amongst cast and crew, means that Silurians are being made to wear verruca socks whilst on set."
How excited are we? I mean, just how EXCITED are we?!
With just a handful of days until the new series starts, we’ll tell you exactly how excited we are in this week’s Ood Cast. But that’s not all we have to say.
We’ll talk about news things – in our own way; knitted, sewn and generally marvellously created things, and we hear how the Doctor gets on when he has to stop on a distant planet for a... comfort break. We also have a bit of feedback from our incredibly intelligent, discerning listeners, and a special musical treat in store too.
"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the sea's asleep and the rivers dream. People made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice and somewhere else the tea is getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do."
If this episode of the Ood Cast was a breakfast cereal, it'd be so packed full of nuts, chocolate shavings, oats, wheat, honey, marshmallows and dried fruit that no one would ever want to eat anything else again. We're lousy with content this week - Sonic Wiimotes, Global Statistics, Rose/ Amy Cat Fights, Pre-School Doctors and Classic Quotes from all eras of the series.
And if that wasn't enough, we finish with a scene set on the Vinvocci home world in which we attempt to explain why the Immortality Gate acted in such a bizarrely lethal way towards the Tenth Doctor in The End of Time.
There's even a sound effect of a space ship landing. You don't hear that every day.
"I like to think of the Doctor as a Liver Fluke. Now if you don't know what a Liver Fluke is, it looks a bit like a fried mushroom and you tend to find them in abattoirs ..."
This week on the Ood Cast we discuss Chris' attempt at a unified theory of time travel within the Doctor Who universe. That's right, we spend half an hour earnestly debating a fictional concept. That's how we roll on the Ood sphere.
Apparently.
Despite acknowledging early on that the real reason that Doctor Who's approach to time travel doesn't make sense is because the writers make it up as they go along, we press on regardless and come up with a pretty reasonable explanation that encompasses water mazes, fixed points in time, a technological reading of evolution, calcified internal organs and the fact that the Doctor is probably part-TARDIS.
Bon appetit!
P.S We believe our theory of time travel to be bullet proof and challenge you to find examples that prove us wrong. Write to us at theoodcast@me.com or at www.facebook.com/theoodcast. Or you could address your tweet to @theoodcast. Go on ... we dare you.
“There’s texture to it, there’s weirdness to it, there’s a Hinchcliffe Doctor Who-ness about it.”
And so with the grinding and wheezing of millennia-old engines, the second season of the Ood Cast pulls itself into corporeal existence. This week on the show we get a bit over-excited about the new series, wave aside petty disputes about season numbers and bow ties, reaffirm our mission statement to be a force for optimism and enthusiasm in Doctor Who fandom and then spoil it all by talking about James Corden. We then descend into a heated discussion about things that are pink and deadly. Plus, in an Ood Cast exclusive, we present an audio trailer for Richard Curtis’ episode of the new series. All this and a jingle about geeky pedantry.
Classic Ood Cast!
“Perhaps it's time. This is only the furthest edge of the Time War. But at its heart, millions die every second. Lost in bloodlust and insanity. With Time itself then resurrecting them, to find new ways of dying, over and over again. We have become a travesty of life. Isn't it better to end it? At last?”
The end of an era, the passing of a baton. Another man saunters off.
This week, the intrepid crew of the Ood Cast tackle the final episode of the Tenth Doctor’s reign.
We took advice from Tom Baker’s final words as the Doctor (“It is the end. But the moment has been prepared for”) and made sure we all had drinks and snacks to take our minds off the upsetting events that unfolded on the screen.
It was the end. And we had certainly prepared for it. So well, in fact, that we were able to record a podcast afterwards.
So, listen in to see which of us was teary-eyed, which was just a bit ticked off that he took so long to actually shuffle off his tenth mortal coil, and just how much of that last sentence I invented...
It is said that in the final days of Planet Earth, everyone had bad dreams...
To the west of the north of that world, the human race did gather in celebration of a pagan rite. To banish the cold and the dark.
Each and every one of those people had dreamt of the terrible things to come. But they forgot, because they must. They forgot their nightmares, of fire, and war, and insanity.
They forgot. Except for four...
Legends tell that these four intrepid humans used their rememberances only for good. To guard against evil, protect against invasion.
But the legends are wrong.
They used it to record a podcast.
And this week, in Episood 5, we look at the End of Time (Part 1).
Tap tap tap tap.
Tap tap tap tap.
Do you remember the old days of "Classic Who"? You know, the days when budgets were the size of your mum's weekly housekeeping allowance which meant that stories were claustrophobic and terrifying, even when the monsters occasionally seemed to be constructed from items you saw her making a cake with the week before?
No? Well, it doesn't matter... Not all of us do either. But we've seen a lot of it on VHS...
But Doctor Who and isolated bases on the surface of a strange planet is a marriage made in heaven, right?
Download the newest episood to find out what happened after we watched The Waters of Mars in a darkened room, complete with a few glasses of liquid handy, which members of our happy band then refused to touch a drink for considerable time afterwards.
Oh, and to find out what exactly caused an argument that might yet cause the premature end of the podcast ...
Save your tissues though, because we've almost got to the final of the 5 death rattles Messrs Tennant and Davies served up for our viewing pleasure. And those were where the real tear-jerking moments were... (well, that's what it said in the Radio Times...)
It's episode three of The Ood Cast and this week we're talking about the first installment in the 'He will knock 4 times' saga that ends the Tenth Doctor's life - the aptly named Planet of the Dead.
Flies in boiler suits, dodgy CGI, a wrecked double decker bus, Lara Croft and fires of iniquity all feature in our rambling review of the story. Allies are made, old enemies revealed and friendships tested - and that's just during the podcast. The story itself is even more exciting.
Join us as we discuss cinematography, production logistics, morality, travel cards and Laura's huge crush on David Tennant.
Next week: The Waters of Mars and one almighty bust up that threatens to destroy the Ood Cast.
Forever.
A hearty, and slightly world-weary welcome to you.
Think back to Christmas Day 2008. The evening.
There you are - on the sofa – feeling a bit bloated because your nan insisted that you had that third helping of turkey and at least two goes at the Christmas pud. You’re becoming steadily more pickled as the afternoon draws on, and your eyes are feeling a bit heavy.
Then something lovely hits your screen. You hear some familiar music. You haven’t been paying attention to the first couple of minutes because you saw that a few weeks before on Children In Need night. But now you’re a bit more interested.
You start searching your mind for what it is like a brain surgeon wearing boxing gloves...
And then you see him. A skinny man with an unmistakable pin-stripe suit, spiky hair and glasses. You know what this is...
You yawn. Then your eyes start to flutter as you desperately try not to fall asleep. But you can’t combat such a force... Just before you do, you see a blurry thing that looks a little like a creature made from a milk bottle top and strips of crepe paper (a la early 1980s Blue Peter).
And the rest is darkness.
Wonder what you missed? Well, let us discuss it in your ear. For in this instalment of the podcast, The Ood Cast Episode Two, we will be discussing The Next Doctor... because it started off the year of specials.
So come and join us.
Please.
We miss you when you don’t let us talk at you.
It’s here. The Ood Cast: Episood 1. (That's right, we're busting out puns right from the get go - that's just how we roll.)
The most important thing we want everyone to know before we start (and we say it on the podcast too) is that we love the show. Utterly. Even when we are disappointed by what we see, we love it.
Even, it seems, when we have quite large, uber-geeky reasons for never wanting to see that hour of TV again, we still do. And we still go and buy the DVDs.
Because, to us, Doctor Who isn’t something we can take or leave. It’s almost the thing that has been with us since we were wee bairns in the highlands. Or small children from the south of England (delete according to the way you wish to think of us).
In the words of countless Mitchell characters in Eastenders (so I’m told), “It’s family”. And it is.
Chris has always said the Doctor has had a massive effect on the way he chose to do things (I’m still a little unsure about the blazer and the celery in the lapel, although I’m sure we’ll all get used to it), but for the three of us who make up the male contingent of the podcast, it’s something that rings a – cloister - bell. (Ha! See what I did there?! Oh, never mind)
Laura brings a fresh and sharp view to proceedings to prove that we are just old school idiots sometimes. And that sometimes we do have a point. But not all the time.
We would readily admit that we are sometimes critical. But it’s simply, and only, because we love the show and like to sit around daydreaming about what we’d like to see happen next, or how something should be done. That could be just me.
And sometimes, life really doesn’t come to any harm if you ask a few questions about things.
Join us for our little journeys through (limited) Time and (cramped) Space. We’d all love you to.
This song is ending, but the story never ends ... I'm kidding, that was a terrible line.