Go With Your Gut: Recent Episodes
Lauren Dreher
This is about mindset. It’s about learning to shift that mindset and not shying away from those things your gut tells you to do even though your head yells at you to stop. We are faced with decisions regularly that force us to go with our gut. That means regardless of internal or external opposition, we move forward. It means we listen to our intuition, and trust ourselves to figure out whatever will come our way.
Parenting is hard. In general, parenting is hard. So how do you do it for ADHD kids if you do not have ADHD, or if you do and maybe you are a late diagnosis.
I'm not here to tell you how to parent or that you are doing something right or wrong. I am here to share my experiences, insight, struggles, and resources in hopes that it will help ease the hardness of parenting. We've all figured out that there is no one-size-fits-all for anything parenting. Today, I'm sharing my personal experiences of ADHD parenting, figuring it out for myself and my kids. Along with it, below are some resources that I mentioned. Otherwise, please reach out to me if you have questions, comments or suggestions on what you hear or would like to hear.
Impact Parents
CHADD
Holderness Family Book: Thriving on ADHD
SOOOOOO many golden nuggets here today. Talking about anxiety and executive function.
Encompass has 5 steps:
-Task awareness
-Prioritization
-Awareness of un-manageable tasks
-Organization of workspace and time
-Reflecting and correcting without judgement
We dug into two of those and ways to help and support. Resources and strategies, camps. Not to mention she explains rigid and binary thinking.
No doubt you will have some lightbulb moments.
To connect with Jessica:
jessica@encompassfct.com
www.encompassefct.com
LinkedIn: Jessica Shore
Teaching is hard enough as is, so how to you successfully support neuro-diverse students to help them be successful?
Enter Candice. She has neurodiverse kids herself along with a solid background in teaching them. Listen in for her advice, tips and tricks on how to get to know them, support them, and understand them.
I loved that she also got into how to help the class understand them because they have to learn to function and get a long with people.
For resources and support:
Impact Parents
CHADD
Follow me:
Facebook: lauren dreher speaker
Instagram: laurendreherspeaker
Impact Parents Resources (link)
-Website
-Sanity School/Sessions
-Freebies
-Podcast
-Newsletter
-Behavior Therapy
CHADD
Local CHADD Finder
Penn and Kim Holderness Book
Listening to her gut and intuition literally saved Rosanne's life. From a tick bite. You read that right.
Rosanne has lived through many health situations. Out of the many things she has learned:
-Ask questions
-Advocate for yourself- and go with your gut
Ways to connect with Rosanne:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/rmessiam/
https://www.sustainablesolutionscoach.com/
The term ADHD can be such a heavy trigger word and quite overwhelming. Where do you start? What does it take? Who the heck do i talk to?
Tune in as I talk about the step by step process of what will likely happen and when to start the conversation (hint,hing: never too soon)
What to look for, what to expect, and how to move forward.
https://go.impactparents.com/t?orid=148432&opid=5
Schedule a call with me:
https://calendar.app.google/2iqZBK2CR21fabrg7
CHADD:
https://chadd.org/
Here's your list of potential symptoms for young girls and boys:
Girls:
-Internalized symptoms
-Use coping strategies to help hide
-Reads ahead in assigned book, but fails to do homework
-Spends time on homework, forgets to turn in
-Sits quietly in class and doodles instead of listening and paying attention
-Constantly lost in own thoughts
-Trouble making/keeping friends
-Often called a chatterbox
-Obsession on topics
-Potential overstimulation
Boys:
-Can't sit still
-Disrupt learning
-Spend hours on video games but get frustrated after a few min of homework
-Easily distracted
-Appears to not be listening
-Obsession on topics
-Forgets small things
-Can't follow more than 2 instructions at a time
-potential overstimulation
Coping:
-extra time to get chores/homework done just right
-avoid things they find challenging
-Create conflict to deflect attention from problems
To schedule a call with me:
https://calendar.app.google/QVL7KyqGGuBC4uw66
ADHD information:
https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/adhd-in-girls#girls-vs-boys
Impact Parents resources:
https://go.impactparents.com/t?orid=148432&opid=5
Background on me, what it looked like and how I figured it out.
Its a process and not a fast one. Be self aware about yourself and your kids. Do it for yourself and your kids.
Follow me for more:
Instagram: @laurendreherspeaker
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/LaurenDreherSpeaker
LinkedIn: Lauren Dreher
ImpactParents: Link
Parent guilt. When you love to be with your kids and your family, but you also love to do what you are passionate about. Where does the guilt come in? When you feel bad because even though you love your family, they share your happy place with other things. Lets change the script on that. We're all individuals who have interests outside of our family. Listen in to hear a deeper dive into this.
Thrive, skill level up, learn, thrive, repeat. That should be the process right? When you go from thriving to comfortable and start getting that gut feeling you’re ready for something else, it’s time to level up and skill up. Get a certification, learn a software, innovate a process or product. Shift what you’re doing and put your personal touch on it.
Flipping your life upside down is hard. Karen learned how rewarding it was to take those small (still not easy) steps to change things.
Learning to listen to your gut and improv can look very similar. Mary Hynes has is a pro at both!
In a situation where you used to be thriving but now just surviving? Ask yourself a couple questions to figure out steps forward
Dr.Sariya Saabye talks about her shift going from a practicing physical therapist and treating patients to listening to her gut. The results speak for themselves. Sometimes it takes throwing logic out the window to get the results we want.
Think you’re too deep and invested into your current life to switch it up now? Think again. Take it from introvert and former Wall Street slayer Craig Siegel. Being miserable in a life that might look good isn’t worth it. All it takes is a decision to reinvent yourself and taking action on what you want.
Change your language, change your life. The way you talk to yourself matters. So does the way you talk to others. I’m referring to diminishing language. It suggests the things we say are not important. Listen in for more details.
There are times and places where we need to use the chain of command. Other times, things only get done or shed light on because we get resourceful and become a torpedo.
When you operate daily in your natural flow state, things and the people around you begin to shift with you. Listen in to find out more.
What do you do when you’re stuck, frustrated, or maybe just conflicted? You lay everything out (probably on paper) and reprioritize. What needs to change, what needs to gone to an end? What just needs to look different? Questions that aside from a bit of guidance or input, nobody can decide but us.
Growth is typically defined as a "soft skill." Lots of times, thats true. It has to do with our mindset, our beliefs, our perspective to name a few. Bryan and I discussed growth from a technical view today because it can be that too. When it means new skills, learning what to focus on when all the things you have are top priorities. Looking at those priorities from an ROI (return on investment) perspective. What can you focus on first that will move the needing and perhaps cause the ripple effect and cause change and growth in other areas also in need. Sometimes, these things aren't quite what we think as you can learn. Bryan mentioned an assessment you can take that highlights different personality traits. Along with his intuitive and different perspective, sheds new light on how just a small degree of difference can make all the difference in the world. And whats better, he suggested you text or call him.
To contact Bryan: 913-333-7670- call or text email: bryan@thestairwell.org
Your body shows physical signs of mental stress, worry, or even not being clear minded. Dr. Pat talks about how our brand and our gut health are directly connected. She gives some tips on things that should be in your daily routine to get clear headed. Take the tips that work for you!
website: healthteamnetwork.com linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/drpatloulogne email: drpatb@gmail.com
Hard things are worth doing. Sometimes it doesn't make sense, and lets be honest, we just don't want to. Life gets messy and we get side tracked, thrown off course, and distracted. We need lots of reminders to trust in things bigger than ourselves. We need support. Sometimes, we need to experience the hard things and make it to the other side in order for that other side to make sense. Sherri and I discussed all the things that happened FOR her in order to get her book written. Lots of curve balls and trials. She describes how she attempted to avoid doing the things she didn't understand, but followed her gut and did them anyway.
Get in touch with Sheri and Get her book: https://linktr.ee/sberger7
Learning to trust your voice can be hard. We don't want to sound un-confident or get rejected. How do you go about trusting that voice? You want to seize opportunities but find yourself hesitating. You want to speak up, but don't. Karen and i discuss some pieces of her book, Trust Your Own Voice, and how we make ourselves invisible. Whether you are around colleagues who tend to be dominating or family and friends. Listen in to hear Karen's tips and more!
Karens book: https://karenlaos.com/book/
Karen's website: https://karenlaos.com/
Socials: instagram: karenlaosofficial facebook: Karen Habegger Laos LinkedIn: Karen Laos
Why?! Do you find yourself asking this a lot? Why are things not happening? Something keeps getting pushed off, or doesn’t go your way. There are lots of reasons. We tend to get that forward momentum and then try to force things. “I’m being consistent, I’m doing all the things, why?” Take a few minutes and consider the teams don for the season may not be all about you, but what you need to do for others. Have faith that, when the time is right, if you keep your consistency and do the next right thing, your time will come.
Living with intention. What does that mean? It means going about your day in a way that is meaningful for you. Perhaps taking actions to help move you toward a goal. Maybe it means being present in the moment.Today I chatted with Isabelle Black about what intentional living has meant. You'll hear that it intention is not always easy or understood. If you take time to pause and listen to what your gut is telling you, the result may surprise you. Isabelle shares a story of life and Spirit giving her what she needed when she didn't know what that was, but chose to follow that instinct. We talk about how following that instinct gave her what she needed in that short time and brought to her the tribe she needed long term. Find Isabelle at:Instagram: healerofhumanityFacebook: Isabelle Luz Comacho Blackwww.activateyourpowernow.com
Life is messy. We try to force what we want sometimes and we can feel that something is off. There are many different way in which to correct that energy because we don't usually have extra to spare. James and I discuss how he figured out he needed to follow that windy path and its led him to a place of peace. That didn't mean that everyone approved of what we was doing, or even understood what he did. What made the difference is listening to his gut and following what it was telling him was right for him. We try to set an image for people and we wonder why we get "off course." We are supposed to connect with other, but not necessarily cater to them. James describes his journey of figuring out that the perfection is not real or obtainable, but that there is beauty in embracing the imperfection of life. Find James Love at:instagram: lovelargernowfacebook: James LoveKeyhole wellnesswww.activateyourpowernow.com
What would Lotus have missed out on if she hadn't followed her gut? It turns out, a lot. Learning to follow that gut instinct is hard, espeically in the beginning. You have to get past the fear by facing it head on, you have to get past the people who may not support you how you'd like. You have to tune out all the noise that is telling you ...you can't, won't, shouldn't, you'll never make it. Fear stops a lot of people from doing what they want and being who they are. Most of the time, that fear isn't real. We make a bigger deal of it than need be.How does one overcome? Tell the fear to "sit down and shut up" and then do what scares you anyway. The more you do it the easier it becomes. Lotus gives us this perspective: if you can learn to trust yourself and go with your gut when its hard, think of what can happen when its easy.Watch or listen in for more!Find Lotus at:lotus@lotusricheignites.comYoutube: m.youtube.com/ @lotusriche www.lotusricheignites.comFacebook: Lotus RicheInstagram: lotusricheignites
Do you seek external validation? It could be at work, at home, or anywhere else. Some people are great at giving praise and showing appreciation. Other are not so much. If you are expecting it from those who don't do that, could you be setting yourself up for failure, or anger?If praise and validation don't come natural to some people, but we expect it, maybe its time to let those people off the hook and look at what they do to show appreciation.
Boundaries are great, but they have to be enforced to work. Lots of people struggle with this because we want to make people happy. That means dropping what we're doing to help, or saying yes when we should say no.Do you find yourself saying, "i'm not sure what i did this week, but i was super busy?" If thats you, you may need some work. Today's hustle culture leaves no room for extra time. That is, unless we prioritize and make room. It's one thing to enforce boundaries with others. We tell them we can't or we'll do something later. "Lets get something on the books."The bigger question is, do you enforce boundaries with yourself? Taking time to get things done, taking breaks, actually eating lunch, carving out time to make progress on your goals. It's easy to place the blame on someone else as to why something didn't happen. It doesn't feel so great to have to accept responsibility as to why we didn't accomplish something for ourselves. Let your gut tell you where you need improvement. Listen to your body, is it telling you to slow down? Maybe to enjoy life? Maybe that you need to take some things off your plate. You are the only one that can make the change to get the results. And those speak for themselves.
Life is full of contradictions. Have you noticed that? When you get something good, a big break, if often comes with a burden. The difference is what we choose to focus on.If we get a new job, there's going to be a learning curve and likely more responsibilities. Those might stress us out. We can either focus on the good parts of the new job and accept the burden that comes with it and be happy, or focus on the bad and be miserable. Have you noticed that what you choose to focus on, you make big? Meaning, you focus on the burden, you tend to not be as happy and enjoy life. You focus on the break and just accept the burden, you can live much lighter.
Do you get frustrated with hearing "no". Maybe you don't even hear that word but you get frustrated trying to do something and it just won't happen. We can be told no in a lot of different ways. After a while, that starts to ware down on us. At some point we start to wonder if we just need to cut bait. Take to your gut when that happens, and listen to your instinct. Maybe you need to try something else to get to that yes.Listen in!
What can we control? Very little honestly. Ourselves: our actions, reactions, mindset, how we treat others. Other than that, we have very little control. But lots of times, we sure as heck try to control much more. In fact, we try to force things.Have you ever had so many spinning plates and all of the sudden you were forced to either leave with the inability to be connected, or you got sick, or something to that extent? Life has a funny way of forcing you to let go of control and let things happen as they need to happen. Maybe you even get frustrated with whats going on and wonder "when will it end?" Consider that things may not change until you've changed. Until you've learned the lessons you need to learn in your current season or stage of life.
Whats your vision? For life, for family, for where you want to be.I've heard a lot of people get frustrated because others don't understand or buy into the dream. They don't have to, its not their dream or vision to understand. We also try to force our dreams and visions onto others. Not everyone will "get" the vision, and thats ok. Develop the vision, feel the vision, come up with the tiny steps to get there, and then voice everything. How? Listen in or watch
Does anyone misunderstand you? Do you understand yourself?Two questions i've had to answer myself but i couldn't for a long time. I found that I couldn't expect anyone else to get me when i didn't totally get me. I wanted to be like so wether I was given a box or got it for myself, i tried to fit in it? Can you relate?I've found I don't fit into a box, there is a mold specific to me that i fit into. So when others try to put us in a box with a label and can't, they don't know what to do or think.
What habits die hard? Overeating? eating junk? Maybe getting frustrated? When we think of bad habits usually its because we're going through a stressful season of life, some type of change, something to make our bodies and brains go into instinctual mode of fight or flight. We go into survival mode.Some habits you might now think about is having anxious thoughts, maybe projecting old, current, or new insecurities onto others. Maybe you get defensive when someone challenges you or gives you some feedback you weren't expecting.No matter who that person is: someone you look up to, someone you are not a fan of, someone you don't care to hear feedback from. Consider they might have something you need to hear. Even if you don't retain everything they said, some of it might be useful.
Leadership doesn't have to be confined to a job or a title. You can lead wherever you want, and likely you already are, just don't know it. There are qualities that most people like to see from leaders but there is no one size fits all to what it could look like for you. You can be a leader at work, regardless of the title, an outside organization, or even for your family. Listen in or watch to take a deeper dive with me.
What you focus on, you find. Doesn't matter if its good or bad. I hear so many statistics about how people don't measure up to the analytics. They don't meet what the numbers say they should do. Do we ever stop to think if they are the numbers we should be focusing on? Or do we automatically take it to heart and start to feel like we're not doing good enough. Negative outcomes and setbacks are a part of life and reality. And yes, its good to know that its a possibility and be prepared, but why do we focus on it? When we need to keep our eyes on the goal and spend our energy on the things we want to happen and enjoy. When we are able to keep or mind on the positive things, let the negative things and critics roll off our backs and keep moving forward, the setbacks don't hurt near as bad as if we sulk in them. When that voice starts blowing things out of proportion, go with what that gut is telling your and keep moving forward.
Boundaries are tricky. Especially when it come to enforcing them with the people who depend on you most. We can make the choice to not respect our limits and not enforce our boundaries, but then where does it get us? Usually to a place we don't want to be and we find ourselves not being who we want to be.We all have to start somewhere. We all have to know what we need as a person and individual. This also means doing the inner work to know what is is you need and what your limits are so that you can enforce those boundaries.Listen in for more details.You can find Elizabeth at https://www.emotionallyhealthylegacy.comFor the freebies: https:/www.emotionallyhealthylegacy.com/gowithyourgutInstagram @emotionallyhealthylegacy
Motherhood is hard. Add a child struggling with addiction to that mix, that's another story. There is an inner gut wrenching to see your child in pain, be is physical or emotional, and not be able to do much about it. Jen and talked about how to deal with that pain. We talked about how to recalibrate and figure out who you are as an individual outside of loved ones. There is such guilt in seeing you child in that state, and still choosing to take care of yourself. Because you can't really care for someone else well without taking care of yourself. It takes getting to know yourself and your body, and of course going with your gut and managing your mindset. Find her on instagram at:https://www.instagram.com/trulyconnected11/Her website:www.trulyconnected.ca/
"I've been busy!"-What have you been busy doing? When the new year comes, do you take time to look at what you have accomplished? Or do you just move forward full steam ahead.Lots of companies take some time around the holidays to show their employees how much they've done and how far they've come. Lots of people have a folder for their performance review to be able to tell their bosses what all they've done, how they've added to the team, the good things they've done. We don't tend to do that for ourselves though.Even if for a small chunk of time, write out the things you've done and accompished for yourself, your family, organizations, etc so that you can have a visual of why you've beens so busy and what all you've accomplished. Its not bad to be humble, but we can still be proud of how far we've come over the past year. That way, when you tell people you've been busy, you can add to it "but i've come a long way."When you have a written list of the things you've done, you can also use that to build on what you want the next year to look like.
We all want abundance, but it goes much deeper than money or finances. If dig a couple layers down, what do we spend money on to obtain abundance?Buy yourself a weekend away. Experiences with friends or family. Maybe you get yourself the equipment to do things you love. Lots of times, we can find ways to get these things without the finances. So what does abundance look like in your life? Time with family, the ability to create things. The ability to create things that serve others?
We have a tendency to want to label things to organize them. Not just on drawers or cabinets, but ourselves, relationships, etc. What labels have been put on you that need to come off? Maybe someone called you lazy, stupid, impatient, or incapable and its not true but it took root. It make take peeling some layers as its been stuck for a while, but I'd bet with some persistence, some of those can come off. Maybe you were called something and you choose to take it as a positive regardless of how it was meant, because why not?!Have you put labels on yourself that need to come off? We also tend to need to put labels on processes, relationships and other things because we need to decide what we think about them, how we feel about them, and where we want to file them. Listen in or watch for a deeper dive
Its the most wonderful time of the year. But what if your not a huge fan? Whatever your reason is for feeling the need to hunker down instead of burst with cheer, your not alone. This season is also a time for reflection on where you want to go next year and what you want to accomplish. What better way to escape from festivities than to dream a bit. Instead of setting a new years resolution, come up with an end of year goal, end of next year that is. First: Figure out where YOU want to be at this time next year. Now what are a few things, maybe one per quarter that you could accomplish? Now what small things can you plug into your schedule and calendar to make those happen?Second: Look at all the things you have going right now. Even if they are good, what needs to be taken off your plate. Meetings, committee's, memberships, etc. Some of those things may just not serve where you want to go anymore.Listen or watch for a deeper dive and explanation.
"I can't help it, its inherited." Do you ever find yourself using this as an excuse for a behavior your not real proud of? There are lots of things in life that could be inherited but are "dormant" in us. We can do things to be proactive and make sure it stays there. Now, does it always work? No. I'm talking about things like criticism, negativity, perfectionism. If multiple people, even generations of your family all do one of these things or something like it, do you accept the status quo? If it "runs in your family" does it need to keep running in your family? Or can it stop and run into you?Watch or listen in for more!YouTube Link: https://youtu.be/4D0SvUdU5tM
Growth and Change. Things that happen over and over through life. Throw in motherhood, and the world seems to flip upside down. Not necessarily good or bad, but it does flip. Routines change, activities change, friends change. We as moms know we'll change, but for some its more drastic than others. What do you do when pieces of your identity change and you don't know what they look like but you can feel it?
Alison Avayu and I talked about what that looked like for us. We talked about the struggles and mom guilt that comes with not being able to do everything for your kids and being ok, and needing to know who you are as an individual outside of motherhood. Its scary to need a change but not know where to go. That helplessness.
Watch or listen in
Alison's social media/freebie links:
www.instagram.com/alisonavayu
www.facebook.com/alisonavayu
Https://liveyourlifeelevated.newzenler.com/f/motherhood-elevated-freebie https://liveyourlifeelevated.newzenler.com/f/motherhood-elevated-1-0?fbclid=IwAR20UYBV9XqpD6lqxPetgkgivHsvOkIqsaQhbxsOeNjNC_8_57auBliOaFo
New perspective on anxiety. Did you know freezing and overcompensating are both ways that we all numb anxiety? I got to chat with LMFT Rachael DeKoning who has a therapy company and specializes in anxiety. We talked about some things I hadn't considered were anxiety and she added a couple metaphors to help us understand how we can view how anxiety affects us and how we can cope and manage.
Watch or listen in.
About Rachael's company: www.doorsofhopekc.com
What is it? Where does it come from? Do I have it? How do I deal with it? All good questions. I think anxiety is very misunderstood, both by people who have it and those who don't. Living with anxiety and living with someone who has anxiety are both hard. Learning how to manage and support is so important and quite crucial to those relationships because it takes both people. The person who struggles to know what they need and the other to know how to support and what they need. Its different for everyone. Listen or watch!
Imposter Syndrome affects the majority of people in some way. We chalk it up to part of our personality that we don't like as much. It could come off as a weakness. Maybe it is something that was accidentally instilled in us growing up. I talk about some different types of imposter syndrome that you may not be aware of, some you may relate to. Maybe I can shift your perspective and help you listen to your gut in order to move past imposter syndrome.
I use the word can't a lot and later conclude that I can, I just don't want to. Why? Because i'm tired, or its hard and I don't want to try, or because i want to finish what i'm doing.
Very rarely do I find something that can't happen. The thing we need to do might be difficult or take a long time to figure out, but most times can be done.
Its a change in mindset to replace can't with won't. Because then the decision falls upon us. Won't is not a bad thing, it just makes us take ownership. We won't do something because we need to stay focused on the task at hand. We won't do something because we know it will be a bad experience or dangerous.
How would your mindset change if you started saying won't instead of can't? "I can, but won't", "I can, but not right now."
Most times we CAN, but WON'T
Pain. Its not fun, but its a neccesary part of life. It means change, it means difficulty, it means growth. The hard part is that we don't like feeling that pain. Its uncomfortable and it never comes at a good time. Have you noticed that when you go through those hard seasons and get some grit, your come out better? It's easy to look back and see how things happened for you instead of to you.
This episode, I talk about looking for that opportunity in the difficulty. That's right, while your in it. What do you need to learn from this? Don't get bitter in that pain, let it make you better. Have that solid belief in yourself that you'll figure out what you need to learn if you trust and believe that you are in a hard season that is pushing you into a new level.
How does fear affect you? Do you turn away and numb it somehow? Or do you think "challenge accepted" and go right towards it?
Fear comes at us in lots of different ways: fear of failure, imposter syndrome, the "what if" game, and so many more. Marianne and I talked a lot about what it looks like for us to challenge that and work through it. Turning that nervous energy that comes from fear and using it as adrenaline to take that action.
Ever find yourself tired and feeling in a rut or stuck? Ready for something new but don't know where to go? Conflicted. I've been there. I've got a couple of ideas to help you get some clarity and figure out what next steps to take or what new things to do in order to gain some forward momentum.
Being stuck in that spot can be very lonely even if your surrounded by people.
In a rut? Too comfortable? Not sure why you love your job/what you do but your not happy? Have that "restless" feeling that you can't get rid of? Maybe you do feel stressed because you have grown as much as you can where you are.
These are my signs that its time for a change. Change is hard, uncomfortable, and if your a people pleaser it means you don't want to disappoint anyone by moving on.
When I have that feeling but I'm not sure what the bigger picture or the road to the goal looks like, I have a couple things I've learned to do. Watch to find out what i do and how you might be able to apply to where you are.
Does opposition frustrate you? It did me. My reaction was to figure out how to get out of the opposition. What if you (and me) shifted that perspective. We love to easy times because its just that, easy. There will always be those hard times, and opposition. Jobs, relationships, medical issues, finances, etc. Instead of looking for the way out, what if we looked at opposition as a good thing.
The hard times push us, and make us grow. Look at opposition as something that will make you stretch, expand your comfort zone (if it doesn't shove you out) and spring you into a new level of success. Does it hurt while in it, yes. Growth is painful. Like fear, if you work through the opposition instead of try to get out of it, it will spring you forward.
Whats your reaction to confrontation? Avoid at all costs. Avoid until no longer able to? Or are you someone who welcomes confrontation if it means getting things resolved?
I discuss my thoughts and how my ways of navigating confrontation have evolved over the years. Watch for some of my tips on how to achieve long term resolution with some short term discomfort and how to approach confrontation.
Anger is tricky. Comes on fast, or sometimes takes a while to build up. Not to mention it makes itself known no matter where you are. Some of us like to sit in it, others push it away because they always stay positive. But is either one good?
No matter what, anger is something we all feel from time to time. Its also something we cause from time to time. The important thing, is learning how to manage it whether you feel it or cause it.
Even if you claim to always find the bright side, that doesn't mean you can't be angry or frustrated. In fact, in my experience if I claim to always be positive, I still have that anger on the back burner that I didn't deal with and it starts to grow. If instead I deal with the anger, it passes much faster and I can move on.
On the flip side, if we make someone angry, we have to learn to let them deal with it how they prefer. Everyone deals with it different and some take longer than others. If your a people pleaser, you most likely want nothing more than to hear you are forgiven. And quickly. Thats not always how it works.
Watch for more detail!
What do you do when things feel off? I don't mean being sick, I mean those time when you can't quite put a label on it but you know something isn't right. What do you do? I've had some clear times in the past years where I had to #gowithmygut and listen to what my intuition was telling me.
What action do you take when you feel this way? Do you push the feeling down and keep going? Do you numb it? Or do you buckle down and figure it out? I talk about my experience with all this on the #gowithyourgut podcast
I got to chat with Joann about so many different things. How she got started in a career and how the road she took looked very different from what she pictured. That road to the unkown can be terrifying, but can also lead to great results. Along that road sometimes we discover gifts (aka purpose) that we may brush off.
If we can learn to fight off the fear of the unkown and go with that gut instinct of where we're supposed to be, its very rewarding. This means sometimes tuning out those outside voices that tell us we're nuts, we're going to make it, we can't do it, we're not good enough, we don't have the right experience. Sometimes this also come from the inside. If we can learn to tune into that gut and go against the normal grain, we can make big things happen.
Tune in to hear more!
If your gut was trying to talk to you, would you know how to listen? Charli and I chatted about it all. Getting to know yourself and your body. How you feel things like stress and fear. Being able to turn the energy that comes with fear into adrenaline to move through it and still take the action.
What does it look like to be scared and still figure out how to move forward. Charli has been a business owner for years and describes how she is still afraid to do things, yet doesn't let that stop her. Check it out for her tips.
Find Charli at: www.charlikmatthews.com www.empoweringwomeninindustry.com instagram @charlikmatthews facebook @ Charli K. Matthews
So often people look outside themselves for belief that they can do something. Big or small. I’ll take you through the things I did to develop that within myself.
So many people function from a state of overwhelm and just learn to cope and function. I’m no different. But I also know that it gets lonely in that state. It feels like something has to give. Today I talked about some things going on with me recently and how I’ve navigated my own overwhelm, because it’s definitely been there.
We tend to use our use our limitations and faults as an excuse as to why we can do things or why we aren’t good at something. In my experience, that’s a choice we make. We want to brush them off and push them down because we don’t like that they make us feel weak. What if we accept they are part of us and work to channel them or manage them. Pushing them down is like being on a diet, it’s all you can think about. Think about how you can find the strength in limitations and faults instead of letting them limit your capability and accepting defeat
Do you ever feel like your working so hard at something and it just won't happen? You feel like your forcing it? Or, you feel like something is just not happening for you, so you want to just give up? I've been there.
I talk in my book Go With Your Gut: Then Keep Going about my faith. Its been a crazy journey but one thats made me grow. In this episode, I chatted with Christian business coach Elise Smith. We talk a lot about having that pivotal moment when she chose to go with her own gut and had that "ah hah" moment.
We also talked about what it looks like for both of us to lean into our faith and trust in the process. Learning to trust in the process, take the action that needs to be taken, and then let God handle what we no longer can. Blind faith.
Emotions. Not a subject most people like to talk about. Why because they are messy, complicated, and make a lot of people feel weak. I wanted to talk about why we should "feel the feels." Not in a weak way, but in a "deal with your crap so you can move on" sort of way.
Years ago i learned to start doing this and its been messy, yes. But its also helped me be able to manage myself better and move on with things that don't need to take my energy. I found that when we don't deal with our emotions, it can lead to quite a few physical problems further or sometimes not so far down the road.
Whether your "good" at the soft skills, it might be worth your time to polish them. Also because more and more companies are finding the value of emotional intelligence in their empoyees.
How does fear make itself known? In so many different ways. If you can relate to me and it either used to paralyze you or still does, its hard.
So how can we shift our mindset and flip the narrative to turn the adrenaline from fear into motivation. I'll tell you a couple different scenarios in which I had to do this for myself. It takes practice and we won't be perfect (or even close) the first time.
Perfectionism. I've never been a perfectionist but I have had qualities quite similar. I have a strong belief in progress over perfection. I've wanted to do a lot of things that I had no experience doing. But over the years, I've learned to trust myself that I will figure out how to do it. That is, if I want it bad enough.
I get very excited to do things and then i get discouraged when it doesn't work or go as planned. The difference i've found is changing my mindset about this process. I go into something knowing it won't be perfect. Knowing it will take a learning curve and it will get better. I have accepted and am willing to be bad at something, in order to eventually be good at it.
Nobody likes “dark times.” This times when your struggling through hard times, conflict, maybe some challenging relationships, or internal stuff. What things can we do to move through? How do we come out of those times stronger and better?
Nicole comes from a technical background in IT but knew there was something more for her. She tells us how she worked through taking that leap of faith and going for what she wanted. We talk about that moment of figuring out what we want and what that means moving forward.
We talk about what it was like for Nicole to work through those tough internal moments and the steps she took to break through those barriers.
You can connect with Nicole via he website www.nccalhoun.com or via linked in at http://www.linkedin.com/in/nicoleccalhoun
Fear of Judgement (internal or external) has been a big factor on if I move forward with something or not. I’ve had to learn to change my thinking and shift my mindset because mostly they were things I made up. They were not true. So I’ve learned and I’m still working on this, to move forward regardless of what I’m telling myself might happen.