A Widow's Perspective: Recent Episodes
Dakota Kimble
Rebuilding your life after loss is not easy but with a new perspective you can give yourself permission to live again.
Bernice Butler, author of “Just Say No, It Takes Just One Step of Faith,” is entering her ninetieth year of life and is still going strong. Her journey included highs and lows but Faith and determination never allowed her to give up. Bernice’s life has impacted not only her family but the community around her. Her lived experiences are an inspiration to anyone who reads or hears her story. We invite you to join us for a great conversation on surviving life.
We all have expectations about our lives, relationships, and life in general. A hope or belief that something will happen, oftentimes, in our favor. Expectations can define our very existence, which can be problematic if not based on reality. For some, there is a belief that others should be in agreement with what we are expecting to happen and are devastated when the agreement does not happen. Relationships have been destroyed when expectations are not mutual. But what happens when it doesn’t appear that God agrees with our expectations? Join us in a real and relevant conversation with Pastor Patty Lisbon as we discuss, When God’s Will Does Not Meet Our Expectations.
Acceptance in grief doesn’t mean you are ok or in agreement with the loss of your loved one, job, or whatever happened to you. For me, it meant to finally acknowledge the life I envisioned with the one I loved was over. However, there was still life for me to live and I had to figure out how to enjoy it to the fullest. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you forget about the one you love, which I thought I had to do to move forward. I discovered that you could remember, cherish the memories, and move forward. Acceptance is coming to grips with all the emotions of loss, processing the emotions but not allowing the emotions to keep you hostage. Acceptance is your freedom to live life abundantly.
For some people, depression will be a response to grief. The sadness, confusion, and heaviness are just a few of the symptoms. You may not have the energy to get out of bed or handle your basic needs. You may feel stuck. It can be overwhelming. If you can't push through it, or it lasts for a long time, and/or affects your day-to-day activities, seek help from close family or friends, pastoral counseling, or a mental health professional. Your mental health is essential and you are needed.
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional, I'm sharing my personal grief journey. For help, contact the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.
Grief is a natural response to loss and a fierce opponent. It can be relentless, show up at inopportune times and can wreak havoc on our physical, emotional and mental well being. However, we are not alone in this struggle. God will deliver and sustain us. He will not allow us to be consumed.
The loss of a loved one can be traumatic and stressful. Depending on the nature of the relationship, it can impact you emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually, and sexually. Loss is Real, Palpable, and Personal.
Real because it happened.
Palpable because you feel it.
Personal because it is your experience.
You are the only one who knows how the loss impacted you. It is your reality.
A change in status (social, finance, health, education, or marital, etc) can influence how we view life or affect the quality of life. Depending on the nature of the change, we may not be able to control it, but we can control how we respond to it.
Sometimes the plans for our lives don't go as expected. Life can take an unexpected turn and we are left with questions, but no immediate answers. After nineteen and a half years of marriage, my husband died suddenly. I was not prepared to move forward in life without him and thought that my life was over. However, my journey taught me that when we say yes to God, we don't always know where our yes will take us.