ReRooting: Recent Episodes
Rebelle Summers
Rebelle Summers is a writer and audio engineer/producer who, after being notified they had to leave their home within 30 days in May 2021, embarked on a life-changing path. ReRooting is the audio diary of their thoughts and experiences as they create a new path for their life. After being uprooted they examine the roots they come from in search for the next place to plant them.
Over concern for their safety due to the recent conflict and the major uptick in antisemitism globally, this will be the last episode of ReRooting. For now. Rebelle discusses the week and their experiences of growing up and living in an antisemitic world amidst trying to figure out what to do to ensure this reality stops playing out. Thank you to all the listeners and loved ones who have been on this road with me and hopefully we will meet again.
Rebelle looks back at the past year and at some childhood memories that have floated to the surface.
At an ungodly hour, Rebelle briefly touches on some aspects of how body image issues have cropped up in their life and reflects on what routes they began taking to learn more about how they felt about themselves.
Rebelle briefly talks about pre-travel freakouts before they head to Gibraltar, but mostly focuses on the enormous presence of Hawaii on their life in the wake of the wildfire on The Big Island and the community of Lahaina in Maui. If you are able to, please donate what you can to help the locals. Here are some orgs directly helping the community:Maui Strong Fund: hawaiicommunityfoundation.org/maui-strongMaui Mutual Aide Fund: www.bit.ly/mauimutualaideLahaina Fire Recovery Efforts: Lahuifoundation.orgMaui Humane Society: www.bit.ly/mauihumanesocietyChefs for Hawaii: wck.org
Rebelle begins to clarify what has been pulling them to do genealogical research, specifically looking into their Sephardi lineage.
In lieu of a full episode and due to a tight schedule, Rebelle gives a quick update and lets listeners and loved know where they can find Rebelle's latest work.
Rebelle gives a quick update on life, thinks more about time blindness from their previous convo with Claudia, gushes about Barbie
Rebelle and friend Claudia talk about their struggles navigating a neurotypical world with neurodivergent brains, their feelings about many-legged creatures, work and writing milestones, and London Alpacas.
Rebelle talks developments in their ancestry research as well as tries to process what it means and looks like in practice to be an American in this moment.
Rebelle touches on their struggles with saying what they mean and want in the moment and expressed what they wished they were able to have said in response to a family member they disagree with.
Rebelle finally begins to grieve the loss of their home that prompted this two year sojourn and reflects a little bit on why finding a sense of belonging has felt so difficult.
Rebelle reflects on what it means to be mediocre and comes to no conclusions and possibly confuses themselves even more. Featuring surprise guest, Baloo.
Rebelle talks about their struggles with perfectionism and the reemergence of those tendencies from the past few weeks.
Rebelle takes a walk and thinks about the many doors of places they can only return to in memory.
Rebelle discusses their frustration over the overarching narrative that posits that people get through hard times only through bravery, hard work, and resilience without taking into account the contexts in which many people's hardships derive from. Most of which have to do with people being in situations where have limited or no access to resources. Placing blame on an individual not being "strong" enough to leave an abusive relationship, too lazy for being hungry, unhoused, and without consistent work puts the focus on the wrong people and issues and creates a volatile and, for too many, fatal reality.While Rebelle recorded the episode prior to the murder of Jordan Neely, they added an intro to pay homage to him and those that continue to be discarded by society. To become more educated on how to practice critical thinking and being an ally/accomplice to create a more just world, check out:Ashtin Berry @thecollectress on Instagram Anti-Racism Daily @ardtakeaction on Instagram and sign up for their newsletter
Rebelle makes the decision to leave the house they'd hoped to be in for six months. They talk incompatibility and no longer tolerating certain dynamics or contorting themselves into situations they didn't want or sign up for.
Rebelle sits on a bench in Central London thinking about how loud athletic footwear stores are, needing better arch support, and poets inspired by David Bowie.
Rebelle talks about learning to be more comfortable with people having misconceptions of them, while also feeling braver about correcting folks or bringing concerns about those misperceptions to those they are in relationship with.
Rebelle scratches the surface behind their reasons for being and choosing to remain childfree.
Rebelle talks about some of the challenges in their current living situation and reflects on how much of that has been impacted by childhood experiences and what their needs are.
CW: Abuse/Domestic ViolenceRebelle considers love as a verb and the consistency and trust that is foundational to loving relationships. They also reflect on the grayness of these conversations while remaining steadfast about what behavioral dealbreakers are for them in relationship where they used to have none.
A congested Rebelle (not COVID-19, just a Spring cold) recounts spending a couple of days in Norway, how it feels to travel and what that clues them into about what home and stability could look like for them, and what it feels like to know when they have enough.
During a week of processing waves of grief around family, specific thoughts and feelings about Rebelle and their relationship to their mom bubbled to the surface.
Rebelle is joined in conversation with their new housemate, Jane. They work through what it means to heal and live in the transitions.
In a ReRooting flashback recorded on March 9th, 2022, Rebelle - after multiple waves of panic - reflected on their first week after arriving in London. They spoke excitedly about the fellowship application they had just submitted (and was later rejected), how they hoped job applications wouldn’t take as long to do (LOL), and that Hannah Gadsby was coming to town and maybe they would buy themselves a ticket (Listeners and Loved Ones, they did buy that ticket and had a glorious time).
Finally out of brain fog, Rebelle reflects on the meaning attached to being in a “good” mood and on what living as a hermit in Lisbon has meant as their time in Portugal approaches its end.
As Rebelle tries to manage another week of small successes with feeling majorly depressed, they talk about the difficulty and importance around untangling their thoughts and feelings from how things were in the past. A quote by psychologist Nedra Tawwab on the impacts of manipulation on the brain inspired the thoughts in this episode.
Rebelle’s Fibromyalgia flares up and they are reminded that it is ok to feel disappointed and down about life sometimes.
Rebelle discovers possible family ties to Portugal and a renewed sense of purpose for the the rest of their time there.
A recent job inquiry has Rebelle relistening to her past work in music. They think about the projects themselves, how their relationship to making music has shifted since they left the industry 6 years prior after a fibromyalgia diagnosis, and the cosmic hilarity of it all.
Recorded a few days before the 2023 New Year, Rebelle reflects on some significant growth.
Rebelle visits the only synagogue in Lisbon. The Sha’are Tikvah Synagogue was just built in 1904 and is only one of five synagogues in all of Portugal. The only way to enter the synagogue is to either be a member, schedule a guided tour, or fill out a request to attend services.The Spanish and Portuguese Inquisitions decimated the Jewish populations of the Iberian Peninsula beginning in Spain in 1492 with the Alhambra Edict, followed by the Portuguese in 1496. The Portuguese Inquisition was formally established in 1536 and was not extinguished until 1821. For more information, head to cilisboa.org
Rebelle talks burnout and trying to make finding a more permanent home a reality by the end of next year.
Rebelle lands in Portugal and thinks back on their first solo trip exactly 10 years prior.
For the Season 2 premiere of ReRooting, Rebelle invites their friend Alissa to talk about how their friendship has grown over the past year, the role games play in bonding with others, and how to navigate change in others and within ourselves.
Note: Alissa sometimes refers to Rebelle by their birth name, Katie.
In the one year anniversary and season finale of ReRooting, Rebelle chats with their childhood BFF Sami about a friendship that has spanned three decades, Sami as a witness to a year of rerooting, and experiences that shaped them both.
Note: Sami sometimes refers to Rebelle by their birth name, Katie.
Rebelle talks about how taking circus classes has shown how far their relationship with their body has come as well as expresses sadness and fear over not being able to vote in the 2022 midterms due to their housing status.
Rebelle makes it to Chicago and begins to process the previous whirlwind week in New York working at NYCC.
On the eve of working NYCC 2022, Rebelle reflects on their feelings of choosing to come back and what else has been on their mind for last couple of weeks.
Recorded on September 24th 2022, Rebelle takes a minute to reflect on their new surroundings with a non-spon sweet treat.
Recorded on September 14, 2022, Rebelle rides a wave of overwhelm and feelings of longing for the familiar.
Rebelle processes what it means to have relationships while experiencing instability, autism, and ADHD while also trying to figure out how past and present trauma impact their ability to fully show up.
Rebelle talks about coming out of a recent bout of depression and how it can manifest itself for them.
Tired and annoyed by words like “nomad,” Rebelle looks back to their past musical history in an attempt to create a more accurate description of their current life.
Rebelle talks about finding empowerment within the struggle of adjusting to another new place
Rebelle grapples with another change of plans through a conversation with a younger version of themselves and is visited by a very surprising guest.
Recorded on July 31, 2022. Rebelle recounts a confusing conversation with a family member while back in LA.
Rebelle continues working out their next steps and attempts to gain more clarity through examining some aspects of the life they used to lead with their family and extended family of origin.
Rebelle moves again, manages physical pain, and finally gets some good news on the job hunt.
Rebelle unpacks some of the underlying driving forces of some of their decisions and wonders if there’s a way to discover a clearer sense of purpose.
Rebelle reflects on the recent SCOTUS systemic fuckery, feeling like going back to the US was a mistake, and reaffirming that settling and making a life outside of the US is the right call for them.
Rebelle tests positive for COVID-19 on what was supposed to be a quick trip to Scotland
Rebelle talks about posting this episode late due to a fibromyalgia flare up and the building stress of coming back to the US.
Rebelle reflects on contentment, the difference between chaos and unpredictability, and what it’s meant to learn to trust themselves during the past year.
Feeling more adjusted to life in London and a semblance of a path ahead, Rebelle starts giving more serious thought to what they want to do and what that question means to them.
The leaked SCOTUS document implying an imminent overturning of Roe v. Wade in the US weighed heavily on millions of minds this week. Deeply saddened, angry, and unsurprised, Rebelle gets to the heart of why they are pro-abortion and pro-lives of the living.
After a too-short chat with a cousin and fellow world roamer, Rebelle talks about the extraordinary in an ordinary existence and the ability to keep imagining when life turns out in previously unimaginable ways.
After a week of relative calm in a new and more comfortable location, Rebelle contemplates the way grief on pause from the last two years finally begins bubbling to the surface and reminds themselves that transformation and loss go hand in hand.
In a calmer moment of life, Rebelle identifies and unpacks some internalized misogyny and racism regarding the valuation of certain types of work, gendered roles, and the ways in which those messages informed many decisions they made. This was originally recorded on 3.27.22
Not even a week after moving into a new home and neighborhood, the presence of an abusive and erratic neighbor prompts Rebelle to cut her time there short and move themselves to a safer location.
As Rebelle moves from South London to north of The River on the tail end of an allergy/cold combo, surprising feelings arise when left wandering through a Westfields.
Recorded on 3.18.22 after a night out with new friends. An update on how it feels to be in London the last few weeks and a love note to all those who have supported this change.
Recorded on 3.16.22. In a moment of deep hurt and anger, Rebelle tries to verbally process an email from her estranged father shortly after receiving it that set off alarm bells. Topics include the cycle of abuse, when loved ones protect and make excuses for abusers, and what she wants her relationships to look like.
Recorded on Dec. 31, 2021, a week after her uncle died and a few very disappointing, yet, affirming conversations with some family members. Rebelle thinks about home, how it’s changing, and what it means to her.
Rebelle explores what it feels like to finally have some breathing room and things to look forward to.
Rebelle talks about EMDR while getting pounced on by a furry friend. Originally recorded on Jan. 21, 2022
Rebelle talks about some of the challenges of navigating life with C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
CW: Death and Loss
As another year comes to a close and a new one starts to open up, Rebelle talks about how death has shaped the entirety of her life and, in particular, these past two years.
Rebelle goes back in time and talks about their reasons for initially leaving NYC in 2018, after receiving a fibromyalgia diagnosis a few years earlier.