Welcome To The Suburbs: Recent Episodes
Greg Phelps and Andy Symons
Ride along with two great friends on a road trip through life as they navigate ridiculous detours, side trips and pop culture experiences. Their humor and undeniable chemistry comes from a two decade friendship, infused with Greg’s experience as a touring comic and sketch comedy writer and Andy’s career as an audio engineer for acts as diverse as John Mellencamp, Aerosmith, and Bob and Tom. Laughter suppled, snacks not included.
In Season 3, Episode 74 of Welcome to The Suburbs, Andy and Greg dive into one of the funniest listener-question episodes yet. From PSAS and breast augmentation “research,” to Greg’s Mount Rushmore of comedy and Andy’s Mount Rushmore of legendary sound engineers, nothing is off-limits in this rapid-fire Q&A fueled entirely by loyal listener Ricky.
Greg shares outrageous stories from the comedy circuit—including the night Tommy Chong missed his cue because he was getting high behind a dumpster—and explains why orange milkshakes may turn him into a human vibrator. Andy reveals the behind-the-board world of live mixing, the concerts he’ll never walk out on, and why he will never do stand-up (despite Greg’s best efforts).
This episode is classic Suburbs: irreverent, warm, weird, and occasionally educational.
🎧 Send your questions to: thesuburbspodcast@gmail.com
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Dr. Bob joins Andy and Greg in The Suburbs for an unexpectedly educational deep dive into cannabis-infused drinks, bizarre medical mysteries, and why armadillos might be the next big Indiana problem. From auto-brewery syndrome and tetanus shots to Swedish fish with THC, the guys keep the laughs coming while learning just enough to be dangerous.
Then Greg wraps up with a lake house confession involving a trash pump, a Rural King return, and an employee who forgot she was on the clock. It’s a perfectly suburban blend of humor, science, and questionable life hacks.
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Halloween season hits the suburbs, and things are heating up—literally.
Andy recounts the infamous Airbnb “heatwave” that nearly melted his five-star rating. Forget the fact these were house guests. Greg flashes back to his childhood drive-in days before diving headfirst into a pop-metal concert that leaves him surrounded by college kids, mosh pits, and existential questions.
They also cover:
- Haunted houses and “Here Come the Gummies”
- Ripple Suites’ mysterious new tenant, “Jenny on the Spot”
- Why Florida insists on keeping buildings ice-cold
- A Fox Hollow Murders grocery-store encounter that gets way too personal
Suburban life, nostalgia, and absolute nonsense—it’s all here in Season 3, Episode 72.
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Fall has arrived (sort of), and Andy and Greg are back with a fresh mix of suburban stories and tangents. In Episode 71, they cover:
- Giant skeletons, over-the-top yard displays, and where exactly you store a 10-foot Grim Reaper
- The mysterious loophole that lets THC drinks hit Indiana liquor store shelves while everything else stays off-limits
- Greg’s billing fiasco with “Dear No Name” and a customer service rep who thinks mailing it fixes everything
- Dogs, dentists, sleep doctors, and the fine art of making sense of nonsense
From absurd Halloween clutter to real-life healthcare head-shakers, it’s another ride through the laughs and frustrations of suburban life.
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Andy and Greg kick off fall with laughter, nostalgia, and a brand-new Roslyn Retreat jingle that turns into an unexpected recording adventure. Greg shares the hilarious story of conquering his fear of singing, stepping into the studio, and discovering the difference between a “jingle” and a “lingle.”
From late-night paranoia catchphrases like “bringing living room,” to tales of million-dollar guitars hidden under farmers’ beds, to softcover porn books disguised as history class reading material—this episode blends music, memory, and mischief in true Suburbs style.
Oh, and yes, we’re taking mailbag questions now—so send yours to thesuburbspodcast@gmail.com.
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From stuffed chicken thighs and cereal-for-dinner debates to Broad Ripple driveways, short-term rental surprises, and HVAC scams — Andy and Greg are back with another laugh-out-loud episode of Welcome to the Suburbs.
In Episode 69, the guys swap stories about managing rentals, neighbor drama, “quick response” QR code revelations, and even how to choose the perfect stripper name. You’ll hear about unexpected guest check-ins, a DIY grocery run gone wrong, and the infamous 44th repair item at the Broad Ripple Suites.
As always, expect a mix of hilarious suburban storytelling, life lessons, and plenty of unexpected detours.
Subscribe, share, and laugh along with us — because life’s too short not to find the humor in the chaos.
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Andy and Greg kick off Season 3, Episode 68 with a chilling dive into the Fox Hollow murders—creepy mannequins, strange obsessions, and suburban horror. From there, things take flight (literally) with owl stories, tree-climbing misadventures, and cliffside panic at Havasupai Falls. Add in some neighborhood oddities, HOA hilarity, and family stories that blur the line between truth and tall tale, and you’ve got another ride through the suburbs that’s equal parts eerie, funny, and all too real.
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In Season 3, Episode 67 of Welcome to the Suburbs, Andy and Greg wade into the deep end of summer with a mix of the bizarre, the spooky, and the hilariously mundane. From a comedy club condo with a bathtub full of spaghetti to neighborhood ghost sightings, no story is too strange.
They unravel the tale of a mysteriously locked door, a little girl apparition, and even a ghostly grandma. The guys also tackle the pressing issue of missing People magazines, postal service adventures, and the curious world of “Gaylords” (the warehouse kind).
Rounding things out are hot takes on Cirque du Soleil, zombie house flipping, and the fine art of scripted spontaneity.
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Andy and Greg are back with another late-night ramble through suburban life—this time tackling everything from questionable sleep aids to nostalgic rock trivia.
Greg recounts his epic sleep study fail, his reluctant romance with a CPAP machine, and the insurance company’s passive-aggressive text reminders.
Andy dives into the hilariously sketchy marketing of the “Pillow Mate” speaker—ideal for listening to cricket matches (because, why not?).
Along the way, they detour into Emerson, Lake & Palmer album art, Sting’s accidental Money for Nothing lawsuit, Robert Palmer’s mysterious career, and why the Indianapolis Museum of Art now hates dogs.
It’s a ride filled with absurdity, nostalgia, and just enough suburban chaos to make you laugh out loud.
Grab your favorite pillow (but keep it away from electrical wiring), settle in, and enjoy another unpredictable trip to The Suburbs.
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Greg and Andy return with a laugh-filled episode that proves no topic is too small—or too outdated—for the suburbs.
From banks that don’t carry cash to fax machines that cost $6, the guys dig into the absurdities of modern (and not-so-modern) life.
Greg shares a “Tiny Town” update about his sister’s attempt to subdivide a lake house master bedroom, leading to a hilarious comparison to Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge debacle.
Along the way, we meet Bob’s Bank, discover why Red Mesa won’t stop texting, and revisit Andy’s traumatic ice skating history. It’s fast, funny, and oddly informative—just how you like it.
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It’s officially summertime, and Andy and Greg are back with another episode of Welcome to the Suburbs—where laughter comes with legal disclaimers. Greg breaks the news about Ripple Avenue Suites’ shady former tenants (spoiler: the Asian Flower Spa lives on… in spirit and search results). And no, it wasn’t about massage—unless you were interested in a “happy ending.”
From sweepstakes winnings to glitter drywall, mouse drama at the lake house, and whether gym class was actually “PE,” the guys navigate their usual chaos with an extra side of booty dust.
Also in this episode:
- Cashier’s checks for life
- Legal advice from a practitioner who appears to be legit
- Strangers knocking at the wrong spa door
- The ethics of rodent removal
- A deep dive into chicken neglect at the Indy 500
Subscribe, laugh, and maybe check your address on Google Maps—just in case.
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What do a fourth-grade ceramic mug, Fifth Third Bank’s ridiculous math, and a suspicious $9.82 million inheritance letter have in common? Absolutely everything in this week’s episode of Welcome to the Suburbs.
Andy reads a letter from a “legal practitioner” offering him millions from a mysterious overseas relative. Greg makes a banker cry. Together they explore the emotional baggage of sentimental keepsakes, estate planning gone sideways, and why cinnamon shouldn’t smell like dust.
Also in this episode:
- The art of letting go (of spice racks)
- That awkward moment your bank greeter breaks down in tears
- Slayer’s greatest hits… and greatest tits?
- Why Roombas should never take your fast food order
Tune in for laughs, life, and legal scams.
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Greg bought another house… maybe. In this episode, Andy and Greg dive into the potential of a second Airbnb property—a rundown rental filled with broken vacuums, creepy tenants, and enough duct tape to make MacGyver proud. But is it a gold mine or a future episode of Hoarders?
Also on the docket:
• A chemical peel gone wrong
• A building inspector with stogie-and-thermos energy
• Bagging etiquette at Walmart
• And Greg’s night at the sleep study center (spoiler: no bolts in his neck)
Whether you’re into real estate, ridiculous retail encounters, or respiratory therapy, this one’s got you covered.
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In this episode, Andy and Greg dive beard-first into a tangle of hilarious and heartfelt tales—from a mysterious missing painting and a very questionable uncle, to mustache-clad IndyCar superfans and sketchy roadside motels. There’s also a dog who finally learns to eat on his own (after four years), a fish funeral that rivals ancient civilizations, and a bizarre addiction to Vicks inhalers. Whether it’s the Mustache Club, awkward hotel encounters, or getting called out at the speedway, this episode has everything you didn’t know you needed.
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Andy and Greg head back to school… art school, that is. In this episode, Greg shares his wild ride through metal sculpting, finger-welding, and an intro-to-oil-painting class taught by a barely-awake instructor. From making a fish out of scrap metal to navigating toxic paints and art-class chaos, they cover it all—with plenty of laughs (and a few bandages) along the way. Grab your smock (or your mom’s blouse) and join us for another hilarious trip to the suburbs!
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After 35 years of marriage, Greg has finally learned that guessing gifts before unwrapping them is not a love language. Even when he means well, his psychic present-sleuthing sucks the joy out of the moment. To help, he’s turned to acting classes—because pretending to be surprised is apparently a skill.
Elsewhere in suburbia:
– Greg’s double-shot vaccine appointment turns into a tequila-scented CVS horror show.
– Jennifer pays the HOA fee on time—but not a moment sooner.
– A well-intentioned meeting at the bank with his sister ends in tears… and puke.
Acting skills help, but you won’t need them to enjoy Season 3, Episode 59 of Welcome to the Suburbs.
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When Greg’s dad was alive, he was an endless source of rants. Checking in with him was like uncorking a genie of angst—30 minutes of pure frustration directed at everything from junk mail to the cost of mulch to the absurd volume of acorns. In this episode of Welcome to the Suburbs, we start with one of his classic rants—this time about Hulu.
Meanwhile, Andy shares the one minor detail he forgot before his wedding: getting legally divorced. Turns out, being emotionally divorced isn’t enough for the Indiana judicial system. Who knew?
The guys also dive into the grandparent naming debate. Greg thinks kids should choose naturally. Andy’s mom, however, insisted on being called Grandma-Ma—because apparently, she thought she was in The Sound of Music. Speaking of which, Greg would rather watch almost anything else—including movies that don’t even exist yet.
Inspired by a book from Greg’s daughter, the guys compare their top 10 movies and music albums. Andy’s take on Greg’s list? “You sound like a toddler.” And Greg’s music taste? “Basically Dave Matthews’ Greatest Hits with a couple of Zeppelin tracks to throw me off.”
Andy also just went to a vinyl record show, where the entire place smelled like a mix of old cigarettes, weed, and Grandma’s attic. He even passed on one album because it reeked so badly. Greg wondered if it was a stop smoking album—maybe the original owner didn’t even finish it before the cigarettes took them out.
What made Andy’s top 10? What’s Greg’s actual worst movie of all time? And what’s the deal with kids and weird grandparent names? Tune in to Episode 58 for all this and more!
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Greg and Andy are back in the studio for Episode 57, and things are already off the rails.
Greg and Keely are on Day 3 of a six-day grandparent experiment, babysitting their three-year-old granddaughter—and let’s just say it’s not going smoothly for Greg.
Greg, in an effort to be the fun grandpa, has reduced his granddaughter to tears multiple times—all thanks to a toy cell phone and a deep commitment to realism. He’d pretend to answer the phone, then rattle off his Social Security number, PIN, and grandmother’s maiden name before looking at her and saying:
“But she didn’t order a John Deere 700 series tractor with port and starboard attachments. Did you?”
Cue: 10 minutes of uncontrollable sobbing.
Keely laughed—until she didn’t.
“Grandpa, you’re scaring her.”
Lesson learned: Know your audience. Also, check your credit report after spending a night at Meemaw and Grandpa’s house.
Kidneys, Weddings & Questionable Life Choices
Meanwhile, their daughter Carly is off in Mexico, stying hair an event. Her husband, Matt, tagged along because, well, it’s Mexico. And he’s always wanted to wake up in a bathtub full of ice, missing a kidney.
Andy then takes the conversation in an entirely different direction: Jennifer’s wedding dress shopping adventure.
Somehow, it devolved into a My Little Pony-themed birthday party for grown women.
Long story short, Prosecco-fueled giggles led to a wedding dress that Jennifer absolutely did NOT want.
Was it bedazzled, and rainbow colored? Greg asked.
Can alterations fix a bridal regret? Maybe. But step one: Put the champagne flute down before swiping the credit card.
Britney Spears, Katy Perry & Andy’s Unwanted Pop Culture Knowledge
Turns out Andy just finished reading a book about Britney Spears. Greg, however, was subjected to an unrequested crash course in Britney’s life when Jennifer’s trashy tabloid magazine arrived in the mail.
Andy, clearly proud of his newfound knowledge, keeps dropping facts like he personally wrote her Wikipedia page.
“You should read her book,” Andy suggests, sincerely.
“NO.” Greg’s response is instant.
“How about Katy Perry?”
“Still no.”
If Greg ever reads a Britney Spears memoir, it’ll be because he’s a highly accomplished man with absolutely nothing left to do.
Final take a way from this episode, if Greg’s granddaughter opens a line of credit in his name next week, at least he’ll know she definitely didn’t order a John Deere 700 series tractor with port and starboard attachments from a toy phone.
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Here’s a shocker: The wife of a Wisconsin kayaker who faked his own drowning to abandon his family and run off to Eastern Europe is now filing for divorce. Didn’t see that coming, did you? Episode 56 of Welcome to the Suburbs takes a deep dive into Ryan Borgwardt’s ridiculous escape attempt, how authorities tracked him down, and why guys like this make our job easy.
If this is your first time listening, don’t be fooled into thinking we’re a True Crime podcast. No, we just prefer making fun of dumb criminals over solving cases.
But that’s just the beginning…
- Rosslyn Retreat Needs a Jingle – Andy is determined to get Greg to write lyrics for their Airbnb, promising that national recording artist Jimi Ryser will craft the melody. Andy is convinced that once guests hear it, they’ll extend their stay. Greg points out that their first guest asked for two extensions. Andy asks, “Extension cords?” Greg responds, “Yes. She wanted to fake her own death by hanging herself in the bathroom.” Welcome to hospitality. Andy asked if their insurance covered that? Greg said, only liability. If I' there encouraging her to jump, we're covered
Should Greg and Keely Buy a Lake House to Airbnb? – Andy suggests they rent a backhoe and dig their own lake. You know I used a backhoe for my summer job landscaping Eagle Creek Golf Course. At that point the conversation goes off the rails as Greg reveals the other employees were ex-cons from the Haughville neighborhood in Indianapolis. The college kid got his education from former felons.
Every Friday after they were paid, they’d cash their check and drink. After recovering from a crushed pelvis, the result of losing control of a backhoe after drinking, Jim, one of the Haughville gang, got into a knife fight at a party and cut his finger off. His Haughville brethren rushed him to the hospital where it was reattached. As they left the hospital Jim realized it was early enough to go back to the party to finish the fight. “Hold my finger. I’m gunna kick his ass.”
- Fast Food & Worm Burgers – Andy asks Greg if he ever worked in fast food. Nope. But Greg’s brother Tom worked at Wendy’s when the “ground worms in the burgers” rumor was at its peak. This launches Greg into a wild story about worm hunting in Huntsville, Alabama, where his ex-girlfriend’s dad showed him how to summon giant gray worms by banging on the ground near rotten logs. Andy, horrified, asks, “Big like snakes?” Greg, unimpressed, responds, “Snakes come in different sizes. That’s like asking, how long is a ball of string?”
- Speaking of Snakes… – A python in Florida was caught eating a white-tailed deer. Greg wonders if the snake was incredibly fast or just had the reflexes of a center fielder. Either way, Florida stays undefeated in the “What the Hell is Happening” department.
- Turkey Neck Gravy & Andy’s Nausea – When Andy finds out Greg once made gravy out of turkey neck meat, his stomach turns. What was the occasion? What’s Greg’s secret recipe for neck meat gravy? Only one way to find out.
Join us for Episode 56 of Welcome to The Suburbs—where fake deaths, felon wisdom, and fast food horror stories collide!
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Greg kicks off the episode with a sigh of relief: "Life is good—no one’s spilled my bodily fluids over any parking lots." But that doesn't mean he’s not stirring up some suburban chaos.
First up, Greg embraces his new role as "trailer guy"—but vows never to be that trailer guy stranded on the roadside without a spare tire. Andy points out that some boat owners don’t even think to bring a spare, leading to Greg’s latest revelation: "If you can drop 200K on a boat, maybe spring for the extra tire."
Traffic woes continue as Greg finds himself stuck behind the worst kind of suburban drivers—the ones who create their own lanes. Instead of sitting idly by, he takes matters into his own hands, pulling his 4-Runner and utility trailer onto the shoulder to block them. Andy dubs it "setting a pick." Greg takes it a step further: "I did set a pick, but he rolled, and no one picked him up. So he drove to the hoop."
Meanwhile, Rosslyn Retreat still needs a theme song. Andy suggests recruiting Jimi Ryser. Greg envisions a motion-activated musical greeting—"except guests would think they were walking into a raid."
The duo then reminisces about a recording session with Flo & Eddie of The Turtles, where backing vocals weren’t the only thing getting smoked. Andy reveals the session ended with a stand full of roaches—prompting Greg to compare it to today’s potent morning commutes: "A Graphix Bong couldn’t even handle that!"
And finally, Greg recounts another lake house sibling saga—this time involving a kayak, winter storage, and the potential for petty revenge. Will he cut it into pieces and leave it in the bathroom? Or will a wind-up kayak in the toilet suffice?
To wrap it all up, they dive into a series of faking death fails—from a botched Indy plane crash to a televangelist’s tragic aviation misadventure. Because if you’re going to fake your death, maybe don’t do it in a way that could actually kill you.
Join Greg and Andy for another round of suburban absurdity, where traffic justice, family drama, and bizarre life choices all collide!
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Are you a Disney family? NO, was Greg’s answer. Disney apologists say, it’s not an amusement park. You’re right! It’s not amusing. The sidewalks are narrow, food is bad. The rides suck. Greg’s favorite part? Leaving. How did the kids feel? Grace liked the Mini ears. You can buy those online after going to an Amusement park.
Did you know Ruth’s Chris has a dress code?
If you were thinking about wearing “pool attire” think again as Andy found out when they arrived for dinner one night. He had to take to water wings back to the car.
What happens when an escape artist is frozen in a block of ice? They get him out by carving him into a bowl of fruit.
So many questions about the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame! First and foremost, How did the Bangles get in before Jimmy Buffet and Foreigner? Shiny objects win over quality. Judged on the body of work? Do you mean catalog or the other kind?
Jimmy Buffet sang about the sun and the surf and ironically did of skin cancer. That’s when Greg showed Andy a wound on his forearm. There’s some skin cancer now.
Greg, I showed the resident a pink place on my arm and he hit it with liquid nitrogen to the point I thought it was a test of pain tolerance. I ended up with a giant blister. Keely said, you need to get that looked at. I said, that’s what happens when you get it looked at. Later, it popped when she brushed against it. She got blister juice on her.
Say good night Gracie. I’ll take your freaky shit, but I draw the line at blister juice.
So many questions. So many funny answers on Season 3 Episode 54 of Welcome to the Suburbs.
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In Season 2, Episode 53 of Welcome to the Suburbs, Andy kicks things off with a pressing question: “What’s your favorite part of shopping at Costco?” Greg’s response? “Leaving!” It’s crowded, people block aisles chatting like they’re at a dinner party, and he’s convinced Prosecco on tap and a string quartet are next.
So, what did Greg actually buy? Milk, eggs, and… a natural gas generator. Andy chimes in with, “Some people eat lunch there. Hot dogs are a dollar! I’ll even grab snow tires while I’m at it.” Meanwhile, Keely and Grace turn grocery shopping into a mother-daughter date, savoring flavored coffee samples and bakery treats at Fresh Market—because apparently, it’s a trip to France without the plane ticket.
When Keely asks Greg about his childhood breakfast, he reveals it was grapefruit with sugar on top. “The citrus was healthy,” he explains, “but the sugar made me shake so much my second-grade teacher thought I was afraid of her.” Andy jokes, “Arm me with a hammer and feed me Sugar Smacks, and I could take down a concrete driveway!” Greg adds, “You could fell a 300-year-old oak with a serrated knife.”
Andy talks about sugary cereals being the only treat in his house growing up, likely because his parents didn’t know the sugar and chemicals were slowly killing them.
Keely, on the other hand, is the type to pop into Walmart Neighborhood Grocery for a single ingredient. “They make it sound all folksy, but it’s just a brainwashing tactic,” Greg says. “No one knows how to use the self-checkout, and half the people would kill you over a can of beans.”
Finally, Greg asks about Andy’s “fancy basement” (or as Andy corrects him, the “lower level”). Greg, ever the connoisseur, points out the connotation difference. Andy clarifies, “Aldi is the basement of groceries compared to Costco. The meat’s frozen, the brands are off, and you have to rent the shopping cart.”
We’re diving deep into grocery store culture in this episode of Welcome to the Suburbs.
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Welcome to Season 2, Episode 52 of Welcome to The Suburbs Podcast! This week, we dive into Greg and Keely’s unforgettable cottage renovation adventure. What some saw as a teardown, Greg and Keely envisioned as a charming retreat with endless potential. Endless being the key word
The 86-year-old, 600-square-foot cottage sat on an acre of land with lake access. Its charm? Questionable. The roof leaked, the furnace was dead, and the water system had... let’s call it "personality." Harold, the previous owner, left behind decades of eccentricities: cobwebs thick enough to trap a bobcat, an elaborate system of fish tanks and bird cages, and a shed that critters turned into a luxury Airbnb.
The shed, full of duct-taped tools, leaking buckets, and solidified fertilizer, was a time capsule of Harold’s resourceful yet quirky approach to life. Outside, the overgrown flower beds were buried under layers of mulch, quilts, and car floor mats, while piles of tree parts and hidden concrete added to the chaos.
As the renovation uncovered layers of Harold’s life, Greg and Keely faced unexpected challenges and found humor in the absurd. It’s a story of determination, grit, and—most importantly—a reminder that every project tells a tale.
Don’t miss Andy’s hilarious commentary and wisdom in this unforgettable episode. Tune in to Welcome to The Suburbs Podcast: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly—Greg’s Cottage Renovation.
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Part 1: What happened at the concert, stays at the concert, unless it’s COVID. Then you take it home and share. Greg was at the John Hiatt show, took a look at the age of the crowd filing in, then said, “based on the age of this crowd I bet everyone sits during the show.” John Hiatt superfan shot him the stink eye as she parked her walker to take a toke of oxygen. One toke over the line sweet Jesus.
Part 2: Greg and Keely were sharing appetizers at restaurant in Chicago recently when Greg shot down a bad oyster. He googled, how long does it take to get sick from bad oysters? The answer: Up to 48 hours. Then spent the rest of the trip “on the clock” as he analyzed his stomach then looked at his watch hoping the other shoe didn’t drop, along with everything he had for dinner. Andy wasn’t so lucky. Either was Jennifer. He asked for water. She threw it at him.
Part 3: Naming plants. Witch Hazel, St John’s Wart, Toad Lilly. We’re all of the good names gone by the time they got to those? The guys talked about Greg and Keely’s Airbnb. None of the neighbors were happy their new purchase would become a short-term rental. Their mind went to a home that attracted police action. Greg’s mind went to, sexy cop role play. Furry handcuffs anyone? What if you used those and then had an allergic reaction to the fur? One minute you’re under arrest, the next minute you’re under duress with hives and wheezing. Where’s the chic from the Hiatt concert? I need some oxygen!
Part 4: the guys talk about Darwin at work. In the satellite communities around Indy, building codes for swimming pools have changed because too many people died from jumping off their roof into the pool but missed. Studies show that 70% of the time alcohol played a role in those deaths. Socker!
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It’s time for the 50th episode of Welcome to The Suburbs Podcast. 50th! Like birthdays and statehood, the 50th episode is a nice benchmark. Andy asked me to recall some of our reoccurring characters. Ironically we’d just spent Thanksgiving at the lake where my sister reared her ugly head like a nose full of pimples on prom night. We also talked about Joe and Mary and the idea of developing a reality show titled, short legs, big attitudes.
I asked Andy if his 50th birthday was memorable. His response, yes. Jennifer took me to Manhattan, I caught to flu and our pool’s filtration system died. We returned home to lung cookies and a cement swamp.
Part 2: flying out of Tampa on Southwest Airlines after business meetings the gate attended challenged Greg’s commitment to line etiquette. His response, this is something I’ve been doing since kindergarten, I believe I understand the concept, which led to a display of her obvious dissatisfaction with his mocking of her sacred protocol.
Meanwhile, at the next gate, a man and woman dressed as friends of Alexander Hamilton became minor celebrities to other travelers. People wanted selfies, someone dressed as Ben Franklin was offering copies with his 1700’s printing press. Because it was old technology, the flight left before anyone had a copy. Did they have a musket? Andy asked. No, it didn’t clear the security check point. Either did the tomahawk.
Part 3: psychics speak with sprit guides when meditating. Are spirit guides God’s way of delegating communications to mortals? If so, are those guides bound by a code of ethics? Can they tell enlightened seers everything about the future? Does it depend on the commitment of the seer? Like a subscription rate. The more commitment, the richer the information.
What about spirit animals. Do docile animals make better spirit animals than say, a rattle snake or a mountain lion?
We’ve had a lot of laughs over the last 50 episodes. There is so much more we covered in this episode too! Happy 50th Andy! Listen in on our conversations and laughter by downloading episode 50 of Welcome to the Suburbs Podcast. Please share it with a friend or 2…too🙂
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Did you know, if you pay a little extra when you get a ticket, the state won’t report it to you insurance company? That feels a little like payola? The only thing missing, you’re not paying cash to a guy wearing a pinkie ring at a clandestine location near the river.
Jennifer had experimental joint surgery on her toe. The joint wasn’t something they fished out of a bowl of chicken knuckle soup. It was actually titanium. Lesson learned, don’t have that type of surgery over a holiday weekend. Her trip to the ER for pain meds included stepping around puddles of bodily fluids from someone who tried giving advice to a kid who jumped the line at Meijer. Ok kidding. Just love the opportunity to call back jokes from previous episodes
Razor scooter rental is a part of life in many cities. Greg and Keely tried to rent them on a recent visit to St Pete the only ones left were scooters with seats. They were available because no one wants to look that tragic Keely, who’s more secure, couldn’t care less what people thought. Greg felt like he needed white driving gloves, a clutch purse, and rain bonnet.
It’s Episode 49 of Welcome To The Suburbs Podcast and Papaw’s coming in hot!
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Part 1:Andy was lead engineer in the Crumbling Down recording sessions with John Mellencamp. He takes me back to those sessions for a peek behind the curtain to understand what it was like making that song with John. From John’s vision of the song to the rough cut. With a surprise appearance by John’s gum guy.
Ray Combs built a comedy Club in downtown Cincinnati. The green room was upstairs overlooking the show room with a big picture window. Celebrities who knew Ray were invited to watch the show from the anonymity of the green room. It was there Greg met Pete Rose and together they watched John Fox defile Ray in front of a sold out audience.
Part 2 Stories from the ER.
An extremely obese woman who’d recently given birth, visits the ER with abdominal pain. She shared with the staff the technique she and her husband used for getting pregnant. That didn’t have anything to do with her pain. What the scans revealed is something I’ll never forget, but I had to share. Along with several other remarkable tales.
Part 3 Cleanup in isle 7.
What happens when you mix an elderly woman, a thug, Greg and a line of people in the self checkout line at Meijer? It’s either a trip to the ER, a life lesson or a life coaching opportunity on the virtues and pitfall of calling out a thug when he cuts an older woman in line. It’s our closer, but it’s not curtains for Greg. Episode 48 of Welcome To The Suburbs Podcast is filled with funny and insightful stories of life.
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Part 1: Horrible bosses, everyone has probable come across one. Greg and Andy met while working for one, Jeff. His billowing voice would shout commands over the intercom followed by his extension 202! His extension number became synonymous with an emergency similar to 911. If Greg heard, Andy Symons, 202, he knew Andy was going to the lions.
High volume profanity, blood pressure checks, and receptionists who quit during lunch of the first day were daily treats. Andy was fired, Greg quit and so began the adventure of land in a new work environment with another horrible boss.
“Working for narcissists is one of Greg’s spiritual gifts” - Keey
Part 2: The black Tie Affair. Being fitted for a tux recently reminded Greg of Senior Prom and the tragic look he sported, a white tux. Andy wore a powder blue tux fluffy bow tie and cummerbund. Life happens on the way to being fitted. A trail that led to massive road construction, and reliving that failed prom night.
Part 3: Caught in a Small Town Fair. Have you ever taken a wrong turn and ended up in the muddled of nowhere? One fall day while driving their daughter home from fall break from IU, Greg and Keely took a left hand turn that put them square in the midway of a small town fair. Pulling slowly forward put them in a congested midway of fair growers, elephant ears, taffy and the tilt-o-whirl. What happens next? That part of the fun of listening to Season 2 Episode 47 of Welcome To the Suburbs Podcast.
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Andy drove to Nashville, Indiana to see April Wine in concert this fall. He noticed that police cars were abundantly sprinkled along the interstate in construction zones. They had to be prop cops. Surely there weren’t really policemen in those cars. The opening act was Sweet. You may remember their hit Love Is Like Oxygen. Ironically, oxygen tanks were worn as concert apparel by concert goers along with walkers and canes. What is the average age of concert goers when Flomax is the drug of choice?
Greg talked about smuggling southern comfort in the hood of his parka while attending concerts in high school and college. Harder to pull that off for summer shows.
They both snuck cameras in to concerts. Greg’s was confiscated when he pretended to be the paparazzi. Into concert jail it went along with 100’s of bags of pot and liquor. Something the venue staff enjoyed in abundance.
Andy’s question: did you do this when seeing real Foreigner or fake Foreigner? Greg’s response; Foreigner when Foreigner was Foreigner. Are we clear on that?
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Part 1.
You know you’ve made the right career choice with the building is in fire and you’re so caught up in your work, you have no idea. What’s that knocking? Siren’s? Do you smell smoke? Why is it so hot in here?
Part 2: After nine months of being the personal representative of his dad’s estate, the word beneficiary is cringe worthy. It’s like a game of Monopoly without the rules, Boardwalk, Park Place and landing on Baltic Avenue requires a death certificate, payments to people in jail.
Part 3. What do you do when the needy people in your life have all moved on? You buy an Airbnb to attract more. Is buying one an investment in property or patience?
Part 4. Greg’s awkward conversations with strangers.
It’s all of this and more in S2 Episode 45 of Welcome To The Suburbs Podcast: Monopoly is a 4 letter Word.
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S2 Episode 44 of Welcome to The Suburbs Podcast. Teenage High Jinks & The Chucky Cheese Band
Part 1: What happens when practicing abundance leads to a plethora or ants and bees.
Part 2: Driving home from school, a bet, snowballs, left turns, wrong turns and time spent in a policeman’s office culminated in what Greg’s dad referred to as his, Highway to Hell.
Part 3: when a bike trail through the woods leads to a police pursuit via helicopter over a misunderstanding and a bad idea. While Greg spent his teenage years figuring out who not to be, Andy was practicing the violin and polishing his halo. Are you starting to see a theme?
It’s all here and more in Episode 44 of Welcome to the Suburbs podcast.
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S2 Episode 43: He Ate What Worm?
Andy is just trying to buy McDonalds for the band when Ms Biddy accuses him of hijacking a handicap spot out front. Jennifer provides proof of why she can park there. So Miss Biddy, wanting to be mad, convicts them of other people’s misdeeds. Makes sense?!?
Andy is driving he and a friend to a photo shoot when a bee flies into the car. Fearful, his friend swats it… at Andy. There were 359 other directions to swat the bee or just let it fly back out of the window.
What do bathroom attendants, IMS bathrooms and sex clubs have in common. Andy’s explanation is hilariously a part of Episode 43 of Welcome To The Suburbs Podcast.
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S 2 Episode 42: Taste the Rainbow!
Andy Googled welcome To The Suburbs and up comes a song, Welcome to the Suburbs by The Kotton Mouth Kings. An underground group of Weed Rappers from L.A. Greg, overlooked the obvious and asked, Cotton Mouth like the snake? Ridicule ensued.
Part 2: What happened to George? I haven’t seen him lately. That was Greg’s question to his ski brother Steve. Well, no one’s seen him because he was pulled over by the DNR for drunk boating And tried to get away by jumping off the boat and swimming for it. What exactly is “it” Andy asks freedom? In section 2, the take of Not George and not driving.
In the water, driving a motorized vehicle isn’t taken as seriously as on the road in a car. People are high on life and tequila. Weekenders tend to imbibe while driving. Greg talks about his neighbor who is the poster child for money can’t buy intellect when you have a 3 stooges mindset.
In section 3. Catching up with Joe and Mary. The grumpy, dysfunctional dwarf marina owners of Lake James.
It’s season 2 Episode 42 of Welcome to The Suburbs: Taste The Rainbow!
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When Andy asked Greg about his job he never expecting to unleash a cast of character voices and descriptions that tumbled out of Pandora’s box.
Dating someone new is a bit awkward especially when their pet doesn’t like you. Andy talks about Jennifer’s Pekingese and it’s “gizmo head”. Like an owl with fangs waiting to nip at Andy’s every move.
Have you seen the movie, Reefer Madness? The way they depict Jazz Musicians who smoke marijuana is the way Greg describes what it’s like to drink espresso in the evening. Getting the new espresso to work in the morning, that’s a story for this podcast.
What happens when you take your granddaughter to the zoo to see their polar bear only to find out it died? Andy thinks they should dye the hair of a Kodiak…while it’s sleeping?
Download episode 41 of Welcome To The Suburbs and join in the fun.
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Nearly being tased by the yellow shirts at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway or being pulled over by an irate member of the Coastguard. Which is worse? Andy then tallies the number of law enforcement Greg has met while being pulled over. All branch except the Space Force. Greg decides it’s time to get his pilots license. Stay tuned.
Andy reveals he still suffers from ptSd bright on by a dining class he was forced to take at Butler University as a part of broadcasting clearly I can’t sing. Greg wants to hear 2 lines from a popular show tune. Andy assumes the fetal position.
Have you ever returned a rental car in less than stellar shape? Keely hit a deer causing major damage and a week later totaled the rental by hitting a tree. Greg was awakened at 2:00 AM and thought she said the tree was growing in the road what road has a tree growing in it? The answer to that and other funny situations are packed in Episode 40 of Welcome to the Suburbs.
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Episode 39 of Welcome To The Suburbs asks the question, have you heard Pat Boone’s album that covers Led Zeppelin, Ozzy Osborn, Judas Priest and others? Even better, have you seen the cover?
Restoration Hardware bought a 41,000 Square foot mansion in suburban Indy It’s their store, showroom and restaurant the property was owned by monks. Andy did work for those cats and the Islamic Center. How do you proof chant tapes or CDs for content. Andy’s question.
Meditation becomes the question. Something Greg needs to practice. It could help prevent being tased by the yellow shirts at IMS when they’re disagreeable.
Does New Mexico have zip codes like we have in the United States? That was a question asked to Andy by the shipping manager one day. How would you answer him? Andy’s answer was perfect. Season 2 Episode 39 of our comedy podcast is live. Enjoy!
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Talking with strangers resurfaces as Andy talks about watching Greg go up to a random guy in the seats at Indy 500 practice and comes away with a dinner invite and a place on his Christmas card list.
Greg became the surrogate son of Chuck and Melba. An older couple who bought his dad’s house and SLK. Like family sometimes acts, they needed coaching on personal boundaries.
The guys marveled at Chuck’s soul patch handlebar mustache and his 2 block test drive of the SLK before offering to write a check for the asking price. Greg didn’t realize the sale of both house and car included a new role as their emotional support person.
Greg was asked to accompany them to a standing room only trip to the BMV. Chuck drew number 101 as they announced 45. Now serving 45. What happens next? Tune in to episode 38 of Welcome To The Suburbs to find out.
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Andy watched, and could provide no information on the race and the name of the horse that won, only that it was a close finish and a camel didn’t win.
Greg watched zero minutes. But he has seen camels in the wild.
On Easter, Greg’s cat delivered the head of a bunny at the front door. Greg’s kids were greeted with that sight as they went out to hunt Easter Eggs.
Geoffrey the wonder dog sees the bunnies as an automated game of fetch. They sprint off, he catches them and bring them to Greg. Some rinse peacefully while others are so traumatized they die of a heart attack in his mouth.
What do you do when the opening act of a concert isn’t a music artist it’s a juggler or, in the case of Mellencamp, a documentary on movie classics. The crowd became unruly
The Room Place is closing. We’re letting you know in case you missed the 9,000 signs lining the street out in front of the store. 9,000 in case you miss the first 5,000
We don’t have any signs, we aren’t closing but we’d like you to join us for Welcome To The Suburbs: Season 2 Episode 36 George, Tell Me ‘Bout The Rabbits
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What’s your thread count? Do you like it hot or cold when you sleep? Pets on or off the bed? Why do you keep kicking me? What the heck is Egyptian Cotton and why is it prized? Do you fly in your dreams? Do you have a reoccurring dream about insecurities? Do you sleep walk or have restless leg?
In episode 35 of Welcome To The Suburbs Andy and Greg laugh about everything that happens between the sheets.
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An emotional response to crickets in the yard is dramatically different than hearing nothing when you’re on stage to tell jokes or play music.
Episode 34 of Welcome to the Suburbs we share stories of hearing the sound of crickets, professionally.
Act 1: PolkaBoy developed a no wedding policy because…well let Andy tell you. It’s painfully funny.
Act 2: We’re the social Security Administration, we’re buttoned up, we’ve got it all figured out. That’s what they tell you. Executing that mindset, Cue the sound of wind and crickets
Act 3: As Greg works to untangle the estates of his recently diseased parents his sister demonstrates how a narcissist is like a vaudeville ventriloquist.
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We spend our entire lives surrounded by strangers. Most of the time we give them a smile or glance and move on.
Greg is extroverted and it’s easy for him to strike up a conversation with anyone. The Uber driver, cashier, or random person on the street. Keely can’t relate at all and prefers to just pass through life without exchanging pleasantries with people she doesn’t know.
In episode 33 of Welcome to the Suburbs: Andy plays the antagonist and points out the absurdity of Greg’s quest to interview people inline at the grocery and seemingly everywhere lately. Keely has a different approach. She puts him in timeout.
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Greg wants to know why guys have to take something that’s supposed to be relaxing, like fishing and turn it into a competition? He’s not talking about fun little wagers, it’s the idea that fishing’s not fun unless you catch more than the other guy every time you go.
Andy on the other hand is happy not catching a single fish, if he gets to wear a shirt full of product patches. Shirts covered in patches are badass he says lol.
Jennifer’s dream was realized when they went to a restaurant that had Prosecco on tap. Andy’s buzz would come from finding a patch for his shirt that said Prosecco lol.
Andy was in the studio recording a death metal band. He struggled to find space to mic the drums because they were covered in skulls. Some people prefer to keep their skeletons in the closet. This guy finds percussive inspiration with his.
Introducing Episode 32 of Welcome To The Suburbs: Laughter Supplied, Snacks Not Included
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What is something you did in 2023 that you never imagined you’d do? That question was posed to her Facebook followers. Greg realized she and her followers wanted cuteness rather than his answer.
Find my phone, water proof my watch, remake Snow White as a live action movie. Three action items sometimes easier said than done, unless you’re Peter Dinklage.
Using don't as a positive with the following: push back with Andy’s mom, order the blue wine, or play handzies with Dave Dougan’s wife.
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Gabe the pup takes a trip to Florida with Andy and Jennifer. Without realizing it a webcam is his babysitter.
Greg’s sister wanted to use webcams to keep the caregivers hones but didn’t realize you pay for storage enter Girl Math. A way of justifying the spend on anything from Starbucks to Costco sandwiches.
Scarface rugs sold in gas station parking lots around Indy. Who buys them and does Al Pacino get a residual check from Scarface Rug guy for the use of his likeness.
Both of Greg’s parents die within eleven days of each other. He becomes an event planner and his sister begins using girl math to plan the wake.
Different than the day Greg’s stepdad died and the funeral home sent Curly and Moe to take the body.
Episode 30 touches on life, Death and Taxes. Please share the laughter with a friend. Sharing helps us grow. Passing laughter is better than sharing the flu.
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My dad built a home on a scenic wooded lot on a ravine. Then he became obsessed with the oak and hickory nut trees, their leaves and squirrels. Rants by the bushel basket.
Andy practiced his FM DJ voice on a seat Nazi at a YES concert who determined he didn’t have the right to sit in the seats he bought. He’s telling me this while enjoying an orange milkshake. They make orange flavored milkshakes?
Someone stole my credit card number and went on a tennis shoe shopping spree in Atlanta. Apparently they had big feet, expensive taste and I hope they match the orange jumpsuit they’re wearing while drinking orange milkshakes.
Andy and Jennifer unknowingly rented a place in Mexico near the presidential vacation home. You don’t want to block in the Toyota pickup trucks with machine guns mounted on the back.
Season 2 Episode 29 of Welcome to The Suburbs is ready for download. Share it with friends. We’re available everywhere you enjoy podcasts.
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It’s hard to believe we’ve been releasing new episodes of Welcome to the Suburbs Podcast for a year! This is our Valentines Day episode. Nothing says, “I love you,” more that eating homemade brats for dinner, dying parents, or yet another traffic violation.
We round out this episode with celebrity love and fun facts about Lindsey Sterling, the dancing violinist. Yep that Lindsey. Andy didn’t send her a Valentine card, but she is on his Christmas card list. Season 2 of Welcome to the Suburbs. Please share a laugh with those you love. A card gets tossed, but laughter spreads endorphins.
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Jennifer has 2 lbs of hardware that spans her spine from top to bottom. She subtracts 2 lbs at weigh in because it’s not diet related.
Andy was preparing for their trip to Rome when he noticed his renewed passport listed him as female. Does he travel to Europe in drag or drive to Chicago last minute to revise his revised passport? Plus other stories of being the dumb American in Rome.
50% of Greg’s time is spent as his mom’s caregiver. She’s reached the point with her dementia that she’s wearing diapers and needs 24/7 care. Dark humor lurks around every corner of his 7-day shifts. In this episode it’s Apple Watch VS reality and creative ways to wear depends.
Episode 27 is ready for download. Please help us grow by sharing it with your friends and family.
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Andy finds himself at the center of an FBI sting operation as the cast a net to capture a guy who is bootlegging Time Life 4 disc sets of music. Andy cooperated and they catch the guy as he picks up the discs then calls from prison to say, you’ve ruined my life.
Awkward moments as you discover you’ve been mispronouncing a common word your entire life. For Jennifer it was serrated knife. For Greg, it was spelling the word your “highness”. Andy’s take, that makes you sound stupid. Greg’s response, yes it does.
What do you do when your spouse wants to go to a concert of organ music? You befriend the bartender and enjoy wine from the bar with the music in earshot
Greg resorts to counseling to overcome the negativity his sister brings to their caregiving partnership for mom. Her nastiness crept into his mind while her works, sleeps and even intimacy. He talks about the disconnect between he and the pharmacy as he tries to pick up a prescription of viagra.
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‘Twas the night before Christmas and in Andy’s house there is a note to Santa with practical gifts that only a precise child wants, except maybe a protractor unless that was included in the 5 piece desk set or the label maker.
Meanwhile, Greg was at his grandmas house for dry Turkey and gravy made from sage, flour, more sage, milk and some extra sage. After 60 years of the sage gravy the family voted for another gravy. His sister stepped up to the plate to make an equally overpowering gravy with thyme.
Picking Christmas trees, Christmas guilt and a Christmas badger make appearances in Episode 25 of Welcome to the Suburbs.
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One of Andy’s first jobs was scaling the steps at Riverfront Stadium schlepping snacks to fans at Reds games. No bat stretchers or diplomas were required but good cardio, calf muscles, and barking were recommended.
Greg’s first spring break trip without parents didn’t require cardio, but IndyCar pit crew skills became a necessity. As if multiple tire changes weren’t enough the trip took an ugly turn when he was handcuffed on suspicion of murder while hitchhiking to buy tires.
State Fair freak shows are a thing of the past. That’s a shame because Joe and Mary could have a side hustle for sure.
Held at gun point while in college Greg talks about negotiating tips he learned on the fly after he was abandoned by his friend.
Exciting and humorous stories from college in episode 24 of Welcome To The Suburbs.
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Andy’s in the recording session takes an ugly turn when he accidentally shatters the neck of his client’s favorite 12 string guitar. Years later it was brought back to life. Life, life! Give my guitar life! No bolt in the neck like Frankenstein.
It was a normal holiday weekend of playing with the kids. Keely was at work. They decided to pretend they were skiing on rollerblades. An emergency trip to the dentist ensued and the rest of the story is a family legend.
Andy was invited to a Bob & Tom Golf Outing. It was the last time Tom played golf. Why? It had to do with a ball, a pond, and a slice… of comedy.
All here and more! It’s Welcome To The Suburbs Podcast at its finest!
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For the last year as we’ve talked about my sister and I taking care of mom, Andy has asked me about the org chart. I’m baffled by the need for one. I’m also baffled by the need to be in charge when it comes to family responsibilities. How about working as a team to move the ball forward? My sister has to be in charge and when she doesn’t get her way, she says things like she wishes I was dead…because that’s how motivational speakers teach leadership, with threats and name calling.
Carly and I went to Farm Aid this year. Katy Perry’s hair color, rock star outfits and terrible dining voices dominated our conversation. Keely teases me about my questions about coordinating outfits. A conversation Neil Young and John Mellencamp have never had about stage clothes. Carly thinks I’m a boomer for caring about their outfits. I don’t care. I appreciate they’ve given me something to mock on our podcast.
We’re back to the org chart to finish out the episode and my decision to go to counseling to understand how to manage conversations with people who have borderline personality disorder. Life has sent a slug of those people into my life and they’re descending on me like zombies. I’ll use my FM DJ voice and pepper spray…just not indoors around people. So I have to lure them outside with fresh meat, the spray them…or not. Download episode 22 of Welcome To The Suburbs and laugh along with my solutions.
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Something was eating my grandma’s tomatoes. Was it an insect or animal? My brother aimed to find out and find out he did when a skunk took exception to being singled out.
Years later the phelps women wanted chickens which meant they’d become mine. Day one of tending the chickens for Carly while she was gone. I came upon a murder scene. A hawk came to dine at Carly’s chicken coop. Tears and more tears ensued because suburban chicken farming isn’t about eating the chickens.
Andy asked about my dad’s KISS rant and we went totally off the rails. One thing is clear, my dad either doesn’t like KISS or he doesn’t want to be kissed by Gene Simmons. Clear as mud?
It’s Episode 21 of Welcome To The Suburbs! Come along for the ride.
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Andy was working with John Mellencamp during the Crumblin’ Down sessions. He shares a story about John being raised by his grandmother. She was feeling old and told Jesus they were ready to come home. John said, hold on grandma! I’m not ready. I’ve got a lot more livin to do!
One morning this summer, as it was getting light, I noticed a pair of women’s legs standing by a tree in my front yard. The rest of her body was obscured by leaves. So, I couldn’t tell who she was.
I walked outside to see what was up and she’s mysteriously disappeared. In her place was a Tupperware container of cat food. I looked up to find a cat stuck in the tree. I grabbed the ladder from our garage, rescued the cat without being clawed.
The woman came back, still obscured by leaves. I walked around the house to meet her, she’d gone again. No sign of her in any direction. I kept the Tupperware lol.
Andy’s mom makes different casseroles with the main ingredients being cream of mushroom soup and rice. When she added shrimp to that mix for dinner, Jennifer couldn’t stomach it. She needed a plan B. Not wanting to hurt his mom’s feelings, Andy climbed out of the bedroom window, like a jail break and went to McDonalds. We had a great time recording episode 20 of Welcome To The Suburbs. Enjoy!
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Since COVID customer service seems to be optional depending on your negotiating skills. Andy’s tactic includes using the angry customer voice. Greg chooses FM disc jockey voice that somehow morphs into begging.
In Episode 14, Greg joked about how he’s a magnet for Conservation Officers and their ticket book. In this episode Andy talks about negotiating his way out of a ticket with ease. Greg has gotten out of tickets, but it always includes faxing, FedExing and other forms of hazing by the DNR. If you can’t laugh about it, you’re taking life too seriously.
Grab your favorite beverage and a snack. We hope you enjoy Episode 19 of a Welcome to The Suburbs.
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Episode 18 of Welcome To The Suburbs is packed with stories of food. Is Chicken Knuckle soup really a thing? Jennifer catches the wrath of a lunch lady when ordering a panini of all things. How we get there and what makes food funny is part of this week’s journey.
We also stop for a visit with Greg’s dad. He’s challenged with moving from dial up to DSL even though we are living in the era of fiber optics. Stubborn people and the battles they choose! lol 😊
Enjoy this edition and don’t forget to tell a friend about us. Sharing laughter is a great way to be and it helps us grow the podcast!
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In episode 17 of Welcome to The Suburbs Greg and Andy laugh about the psychology behind Halloween costumes and amateur fireworks displays.
Then there are the awkward recording sessions with clients who have copious amounts of ambition and zero talent.
The best, big fish story ever told.
In high school Greg and his dad take a trip to Acorn, Kentucky in search of the cabin where he was born. They meet cousins who live in the hollars and have a very different way of living that has to be seen to believe.
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A famous comedian said, Life is what happens on your way to pick up the dry cleaning. So true.
It’s the detour taken by our Uber driver on the way to the airport.
The people you encounter on flights.
The Airbnb accommodations and chance encounters with animals and people that color each day.
Andy and I visit the comedy of travel in this episode of Welcome To The Suburbs
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Greg buys a 100 year old cider press and sustains a lingering injury in the non contact activity of making apple cider. The injury has him searching through their linen closet, Keely’s vault for lotions, ointments and pills. He’d bleed out before finding a bandaid.
Greg’s injury leads to a conversation where he talks about a dermatology appointment where the casually dressed doctor was more interested in seeing below the belt than the mole on Greg’s head.
Andy professes his fandom for Danica Patrick or is it Milka Dunno… or is it both if they’re at each other?
Andy was passed on the inside by a guy who wanted to be first at the med check because he needed an STD screening.
In college Greg paid a guy to sneak him into a Rolling Stones Concert in Detroit where the opening act was Carlos Santana.
Have you ever delivered a eulogy? Greg talked about delivering one that went so well, the minister couldn’t follow him. The guy was so rattled, the family asked for their money back. Did they get the refund? Find out in episode 15 of Welcome to The Suburbs.
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So how many times do you think you’ve been pulled over, 100? That was Andy’s question to me after I described the many times and reasons that I’ve been pulled over by conservation officers. It’s over 20. Throw in random traffic stops, the total is closer to fifty. It’s been a running joke in my family since my high school days. I’m not careless. It’s some type of karmic debt. My friends alway had a way with words. They always got off with a warning. When I get pulled over it’s like the ticket has been written, they just need a name to complete the transaction. Then my car or boat comes into view and the rest, well you just have to hear it to believe it. In episode 14 of Welcome to the Suburbs Andy and I talk about my knack for being pulled over and stories from his honeymoon and Greg lives a coming of age movie at the lake during his junior and senior year of high school
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I’m not sure why we named this episode, Episode 13. People are a little freaky about number 13. I’m superstitious, Andy isn’t either. But hotels don’t have a 13th floor.
Since we stayed with the number maybe we should release it on Friday instead of Monday.
Maybe we should name it Rhode Island in honor of the 13th state rather than giving it a number.
In Greek Mythology Zeus was the 13th and most powerful God. We could name it Zeus.
The moon has 13 phases in a year. Apollo 13 didn’t do to well with their visit there, but they made it back to earth and it was a pretty good movie too. This episode doesn’t leave the earth, but it’s funny.
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Andy helps Greg find the humor in caring for his mom as she slips further into dementia. How she gets lost in her shirt as she puts it on, thinks the stairs in her home lead to a secret passage, and her sudden love for the 70’s band Foreigner leave the guys with tears of laughter.
Andy has a portfolio of signs to remind himself that the soldering iron is on or the back gate is open. His Alzheimer’s starter kit. He also relates that audio engineering is 10% technology and 90% psychology as they laugh about awkward moments in the studio.
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What happens when you give a dementia patient meds in a pill container with Monday-Sunday compartments? They forget they took the pills, what day it is, and if it’s night or morning. So they eat all of them at once like they’re jelly beans.
Greg’s family tries 3 versions of the same method. All 3 result in their mom eating all of the meds at once. Sweet irony that the definition of insanity is being applied by dementia caregivers.
Andy’s parents medicated the kids every time they went on family vacations to Florida. The kids were in Benadryl comas offering the parents a peaceful drive.
If you tell a friend of the opposite sex you love them, with no context of what that means, do you think it could be misinterpreted? Unwilling to believe that his affirmations of love have been misconstrued, Greg’s friend starts searching the internet for medical conditions that explain why he’s getting the cold shoulder from his neighbor friend after using the L word.
It’s all here and more in Episode 11 of Welcome To The Suburbs
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ComedyPodcast #FunnyPodcast #Benadryl #MedicatingKidsWithBenadryl #Denial #Live #DementiaCaregiver # Dementia #WelcomeToTheSuburbs
What happens when you give a dementia patient meds in a pill container with Monday-Sunday compartments? They forget they took the pills, what day it is, and if it’s night or morning. So they eat all of them at once like they’re jelly beans.
Greg’s family tries 3 versions of the same method. All 3 result in their mom eating all of the meds at once. Sweet irony that the definition of insanity is being applied by dementia caregivers.
Andy’s parents medicated the kids every time they went on family vacations to Florida. The kids were in Benadryl comas offering the parents a peaceful drive.
If you tell a friend of the opposite sex you love them, with no context of what that means, do you think it could be misinterpreted? Unwilling to believe that his affirmations of love have been misconstrued, Greg’s dad starts searching the internet for medical conditions that explain why he’s getting the cold shoulder from his neighbor friend Joan after using the L word.
What happens when you give a dementia patient meds in a pill container with Monday-Sunday compartments? They forget they took the pills, what day it is, and if it’s night or morning. So they eat all of them at once like they’re jelly beans.
Greg’s family tries 3 versions of the same method. All 3 result in their mom eating all of the meds at once. Sweet irony that the definition of insanity is being applied by dementia caregivers.
Andy’s parents medicated the kids every time they went on family vacations to Florida. The kids were in Benadryl comas offering the parents a peaceful drive.
If you tell a friend of the opposite sex you love them, with no context of what that means, do you think it could be misinterpreted? Unwilling to believe that his affirmations of love have been misconstrued, Greg’s dad starts searching the internet for medical conditions that explain why he’s getting the cold shoulder from his neighbor friend Joan after using the L word.
Greg’s neighbor tries numerous high pressure tactics to get him to join her folk music zoom group.
Meanwhile her husband retired without realizing the implications of being around her 24/7. Now he can be seen walking the neighborhood day and night. Maybe it’s folk music overload.
Andy’s friend serenades memory patients with an accordion the results were miraculously hilarious.
Andy and I are from Indianapolis, home of the Indy 500. It’s the largest single day sporting event in the world. When Greg started going back in the 70’s the infield was like a combination of Marci Gras, Woodstock and The Rolling Stones,Altamonte Speedway concert.
Andy’s friend bought a van for $500, built a platform on top with huge speakers. Maybe they drove it home. Maybe they didn’t. It was about the day, not the drive home.
Pack a cooler with food and your favorite beverages. In this episode of Welcome to the Suburbs the guys talk about the event, people, and traditions of the Greatest Spectacle in Racing.
Greg and Keely celebrate their 33rd anniversary together, a wedding that almost didn’t happen because the minister caught wind that Keely was married and divorced in college. The same minister baptized Greg’s grandad in his swimming pool.
Andy wants to give up going to church for Lent.
Greg talks about being fired as a customer by the little people who own the only marina on their lake. Little people, big attitude. Andy thinks that’s the perfect bumper sticker. What do you think?
Greg’s sister tries using a pill calendar to dispense Julie’s dementia medication but she didn’t grasp date or time. So she took them all then whispered in Greg’s face with morning breath to tell on herself.
Greg’s sister calls him out on manscaping and his mom requests $2,000 from her retirement account because she wants to make sure she has enough money to buy tea if she’s at lunch.
In Episode 7 of Welcome To The Suburbs, Greg realizes that caring for the dementia patient begins to feel like the movie Cuckoo’s Nest.
With Michigan dispensaries a very short drive from Greg’s cottage in Indiana, he decides to drive up to buy some gummies. What could go wrong? He could forget his mom after dropping her off at the grocery. She could meet him in the parking lot with a basket of groceries she didn’t buy. She has dementia which is a better excuse than watermelon flavored Sativa edibles.
Andy talks about the cold chill he felt when going back to school after 40 years and having to take Algebra. With the exception of teaching, what profession even uses algebra?
When is it ok for your doctor to be referred to by their first name? Should a Neurologist go by his first name? When Greg’s sister suggests they visit a neurologist for their mom named Doctor Steve, Greg says no, I don’t want a guy who sounds like the host of a YouTube children’s show. They started looking at memory doctors when his mom began miming words she couldn’t remember. His sister thought it was stress. Stress from what? Living a retired lifestyle on a lake? Turns out it was Lewie Body Dementia. Look for her on the Muppets with Dr Steve next week.
Greg admits to crying in the dentist chair while having braces put on last month. It wasn’t fear, pain or anything related to the procedure. They we’re playing Animal Planet on the monitor and he became emotional over the show. For Andy it was the music in the musical, Hamilton. As he was crying, his wife Jennifer was looking for Kleenex and an open seat, away from the tears.
Episode 5 of Welcome To The Suburbs, the guys laugh about getting emotional in public.
Also
As Greg is digging a grave for their lab, Nick, the police arrive looking for a body.
Andy searches for something, anything, that their dog Gabe will eat. As Jennifer chases him around the house with food in a spoon.
In Episode 4 of Welcome to the Suburbs: How does someone decide to do standup? For Greg it was his friend Mark White who turned him on to a George Carlin album in the second grade.
At a comedy club in Fort Wayne, the Doctor of Comedy buys a new tape recorder to capture the laughs during his guest set, Steve Harvey delivers a different diagnosis of the set. Andy laughs about his music career starting in the 4th grade.
Episode 3 of Welcome to the Suburbs Podcast: How cool would it be to work in the recording studio with one of your favorite bands. Andy talks about the surreal experience of working with Aerosmith. Coincidentally, in high school Greg was the passenger in a race between two muscle cars that turned into a police chase, with Aerosmith playing.
Greg finds out on a birthday date with his wife, that his birthday is only 6 months after his parent’s marriage. How did he not know that? He also shares the awkward tradition of his parents giving each other money rather than gifts and the guys reveal pointers of what not to say on the first date. Funny moments of life are shared in this episode of, Welcome to the Suburbs Podcast.
Do you have that one selfish neighbor who can't get it right on trash day? In this episode of, Welcome To the Suburbs, Greg mocks and Andy collaborates in their stories of neighbors and their selfish garbage habits.
Also in this episode, what does a vanity plate say about a person, beyond the intended message?