What Did I Say?: Recent Episodes
Dan Rothenberg
Join Dan Rothenberg (therapist, life coach, comedian and father) for a conversation about parenting teens and young adults. This podcast is especially useful for parents TRYING to do more communicating and less helicoptering with their kids. Dan will interview a variety of guests including therapists, bestselling authors and comedians. Let’s laugh, learn and struggle together!
In episode 27, "Adults with ADHD Parenting Kids with ADHD," host, Dan Rothenberg interviews Justin Gillespie, a therapist and owner of a center for people with ADHD in Plymouth, Michigan. They delve into the challenges and experiences of adults with ADHD who parent children with the same condition. Gillespie emphasizes the importance of parental involvement in therapy and the necessity of creating a structured home environment tailored to a child's individual needs. They also discuss the genetic component of ADHD, the impact of rejection sensitivity dysphoria on self-esteem, and the importance of parental self-care. Gillespie highlights the crucial role that parents play in shaping their children's self-perception and self-talk. The episode also touches on the misdiagnosis of ADHD in adults, particularly women, as bipolar disorder.
In Episode 26 of our podcast, we welcome guest Coach Steve Anderson, a dedicated father coach who's passionate about helping fathers be the best they can be. Steve shares his experiences and insights on fatherhood, discussing the challenges fathers face and the importance of being present and understanding for your children. He talks about the balance of guiding and advising, while also providing love and unconditional support. Steve also shares his unique perspective on fatherhood from his experience as a substitute teacher. This episode is a must-listen for any father seeking guidance or anyone interested in the complexities and rewards of fatherhood.
0:00:00 - Introduction and welcome of guest, Steve Anderson0:00:18 - Steve's introduction and The Best Dad Project0:00:54 - Discussion about the focus on fatherhood0:01:16 - Steve's personal experiences with his own father0:02:01 - The challenge of becoming the dad your children need0:02:24 - Discussion about coaching and therapy0:03:32 - Focus on the future and being the dad you want to be0:04:18 - The challenges and opportunities of parenthood0:05:09 - Discussion about Steve's relationship with his own father0:06:21 - Working with teenage boys and the long game0:07:00 - The challenges faced by fathers today0:07:38 - Discussion on neuroscience for coaches0:08:29 - The difference between counselling and coaching0:09:16 - Discussion about emotional expression0:10:36 - The importance of acceptance in fatherhood0:11:05 - Discussion about learning from other fathers0:12:02 - Discussion about parenting decisions and challenges0:13:30 - Individual treatment of children0:14:18 - Personal experiences with parenting0:16:00 - Steve's experience as a substitute teacher0:18:31 - The complexity and challenges of school0:19:36 - Imagining school as a job
In Episode 25 of "What Did I Say?" hosted by Dan Rothenberg, presenting the second part of a three-part parenting seminar titled "Do's and Don'ts". With over a decade's experience working with teenagers and young adults, Dan shares his insights on parenting techniques that promote a healthier family dynamic. He encourages the use of logical, short-term consequences instead of emotionally charged ones, arguing that this helps young people learn more effectively. The episode also explores the importance of respecting a teenager's privacy and the negative impact of over-monitoring. Lastly, Dan advocates for allowing children to experience their emotions fully, asserting that it's a part of their emotional intelligence growth. Tune in for an insightful discussion on parenting.
Chapters
0:00 - Introduction and Welcome
0:20 - Overview of the Session
0:30 - Personal Experience as a Parent
0:40 - Do #1: Use Logical Consequences
1:00 - Explanation of Logical Consequences
1:30 - Example of a Logical Consequence
2:00 - Importance of Consistency
2:10 - Example of an Emotional Consequence
2:30 - Negative Effects of Uncertain Consequences
2:40 - Importance of Respect and Agency for Adolescents
3:10 - Concept of Short Term Consequences
3:30 - Notion of Control Over Kids
4:00 - Don't #1: Over-Monitoring Kids' Texts and Social Media
4:30 - Explanation for Not Monitoring Content
5:00 - Negative Effects of Invasion of Privacy
5:20 - Importance of Trust in Kids
5:30 - Effect of Mistrust on Motivation
6:00 - Importance of Approval from Parents
6:30 - Do #2: Allow Children to Feel their Feelings
7:10 - Distinction Between Feelings and Emotions
8:00 - Importance of Feeling Feelings
8:30 - Negative Effects of Diving into Anger
9:20 - Encouraging Room for Children's Feelings
9:30 - Misinterpretation of Allowing Feelings
9:50 - Difference Between Feelings and Emotions
10:10 - Negative Effects of Not Allowing Children to Feel
10:50 - Example of Expectations and Agendas
11:10 - Concluding Remarks
I provide therapy services that focus on three issues that are vital to the success of young people:
- Values: Who am I and where am I going?
- Anxiety Management: The stress and fear blocking our journey.
- Resilience Building: The ability to bounce back and learn from challenges.
Clarifying strengths and values creates the opportunity for young people to find an authentic and achievable path to success. I work with young people to go down this path while managing the stress and fear along the way. Anxiety goes down, resilience goes up and values move forward. The result: Completed homework – Increased Self-Esteem – Self-Motivation – More Confidence in Relationships – Ability to Combat Bullying
If you think your teen might benefit from my services, feel free to contact me today!
𝗗𝗮𝗻 𝗥𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗴Licensed Therapist
Website: https://danrothenberg.com/
Phone: (503) 333-8988
Email: info@danrothenberg.com
In this episode of "What Did I Say?", host Dan Rothenberg delves into the first part of a three-part parenting seminar titled "Values Vs. Emotions". As a therapist who works with teenagers and young adults, Dan discusses the impact of parental interactions on kids and the reciprocal relationship between parental actions and the anxiety experienced by both parents and children. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the values and core interests of adolescents and how supporting these values can foster a positive relationship. Dan shares a relatable story about a fictional teenager named Rowan, who undergoes a transformation from pursuing his passion for art to succumbing to peer pressure and engaging in bullying behavior. He explores the role of emotions and how they can derail individuals from their values. The episode concludes with two suggestions for parents: focusing on supporting their child's values by approaching them with curiosity rather than judgment, and becoming aware of repetitive lecturing and letting go of the need to constantly remind their child. By managing their own anxiety and providing a supportive environment, parents can help their children navigate the challenges of adolescence while staying true to their values.
In this episode of "What Did I Say?" with Dan Rothenberg, the focus is on the college admissions essay. Dan is joined by guest Ben Urwand, an expert in college essays. They discuss the challenges students face when writing this important essay and provide valuable insights and advice.
Ben emphasizes the importance of authenticity and individuality in college essays. He highlights the misconception that students should try to mimic successful essays and advises against reading examples of essays written by others. Instead, Ben encourages students to reflect on their own experiences and find their unique voice.
The conversation delves into the common pitfalls of cliches and gimmicks in college essays. Ben stresses the need to avoid cliched statements and instead focus on genuine personal stories that respond to the essay prompts. He shares examples of successful essays that effectively showcase diversity and individuality.
Throughout the episode, Dan and Ben discuss the process of brainstorming, drafting, and revising college essays. They offer practical tips on how to overcome writer's block and perfectionism, encouraging students to write freely and without judgment in the initial stages.
This episode of "What Did I Say?" provides valuable guidance and a fresh perspective on writing compelling and authentic college admissions essays.
In this episode of "What Did I Say?" with host Dan Rothenberg, join us as we dive into the crucial topic of advocating for our kids at school. Our special guest, Scotti Weintraub, the founder of Reframe Parenting, shares her personal journey and the inspiration behind her mission to help parents navigate the challenges they face when their children are struggling in school.
Scotti opens up about her own frustrations as a parent and the difficulties she encountered when her kids faced various challenges in their academic journey. She discusses the overwhelming feeling of receiving negative feedback from teachers and the sense of frustration and helplessness that can come with it.
Throughout the episode, Scotti provides valuable insights on how parents can effectively communicate with teachers and professionals in the education system. She emphasizes the importance of approaching these conversations with curiosity and collaboration, rather than blame or defensiveness. Scotti shares practical strategies and tips for gathering information, asking the right questions, and building a supportive team of professionals around your child.
Join us for this thought-provoking conversation that sheds light on the importance of advocating for our kids in the school system. Whether you're a parent, educator, or someone passionate about supporting children's success, this episode will provide you with valuable insights and practical strategies to help navigate the complexities of advocating for your child's education.
To connect with Scotti Weintraub and learn more about her work, visit her website at reframeparenting.com or follow her on Instagram @reframeparenting.
In this episode, guest Mel Berwin discusses the concept of radical acceptance in parenting. She shares personal experiences and insights on how accepting the reality of our children's challenges can lead to more productive conversations and effective problem-solving. Tune in to learn how embracing radical acceptance can positively impact our relationships with our children and support their growth and well-being.
In this thought-provoking episode of our podcast, we delve into the significance of cultivating resiliency in ourselves and our children. Join us as we explore practical strategies for navigating through uncomfortable emotions, resolving conflicts, and fostering emotional strength. Discover the power of role modeling and its profound impact on shaping our children's ability to overcome challenges, embrace adversity, and thrive in a rapidly changing world. Gain valuable insights and actionable tips on promoting resilience, instilling values, and empowering our kids to stand firm in their beliefs while adapting to the ever-evolving landscape of life. Tune in to this insightful discussion and embark on a journey towards building emotional fortitude that will set the stage for a resilient future.
In this episode, host Dan Rothenberg dives into the topic of resiliency and how it impacts the success of children. As a therapist and resiliency coach, Dan shares his expertise on how to help children and teens increase their resiliency in various aspects of life. He discusses the importance of role modeling and fostering individual values in children, as well as the significance of emotional and psychological flexibility. Join Dan as he explores the concept of resiliency and shares practical insights for parents and caregivers.
In this episode of “What Did I Say?” with host Dan Rothenberg, guest Jessica Villegas, a coach for teenagers and young adults, discusses the importance of coaching in this age group. She emphasizes the significance of understanding one’s values and how it can lead to success in life. Jessica also shares her expertise on parenting, the challenges of adolescence, and how coaching can be a valuable tool for both parents and young individuals.
Throughout the discussion, Jessica highlights how coaching can help young people develop their sense of self and make informed decisions. She talks about the role of parents in guiding their children through their teenage years and how the coaching process can help bridge the gap between parents and their kids.
The conversation also explores the struggles of adolescents, including social anxiety, self-esteem issues, and the pressure to fit in. Jessica offers practical advice on how coaching can help young people navigate these challenges and develop a deeper understanding of themselves.
Overall, this episode is a must-listen for parents and young individuals looking to gain insight into the value of coaching in their lives. It underscores the importance of authenticity, being judgment-free, and serving as a cheerleader and teammate in improving relationships.
In this episode, Amber Liechty, LPC discusses the importance of teaching consent to children from a young age. She explains that children who understand the concept of consent are more likely to have healthier relationships and to be better equipped to navigate sexual situations as they grow older. Liechty stresses the need for parents to actively model healthy relationship behaviors and respect for body autonomy, and to create an open and safe space for their children to ask questions and discuss sexual topics without judgment or shame.
Liechty also points out the alarming statistics of sexual assault among minors, citing that one in three girls and one in six boys will experience sexual abuse before the age of 18. She emphasizes that teaching consent is crucial in reducing these incidents, as it helps to empower children to recognize and assert their boundaries, and to understand the importance of respecting the boundaries of others.
Moreover, Liechty stresses that teaching consent is not a one-time conversation, but rather an ongoing dialogue that should be tailored to the child’s age and level of understanding. She suggests that parents should start by teaching the concept of consent in non-sexual contexts, such as asking for a hug or sharing toys, and gradually building upon this foundation as the child grows older.
In conclusion, Liechty’s message is clear and urgent: teaching consent to children is essential in promoting healthy relationships, preventing sexual assault, and empowering young people to make informed decisions about their bodies and their lives.
Bio for Amber: Amber is a passionate advocate for healthy sexuality education. She envisions a world where every teenager has access to safe, helpful, and clear information about their human body and relationships. By providing guidance and hope for a healthy relationship with sex and the human body, she believes we can create a world with significantly less sexual harm and more love for oneself and one’s body. Amber is a part of the healthy sexuality movement and encourages others to join as well. With a focus on empowering the next generation, she hopes to create a more fulfilling and less harmful life for all.
Link to Deep Space PDX https://deepspacepdx.com/
Bio for Dan: Dan Rothenberg is the owner of One You Coaching & Counseling, where he combines coaching and therapy to help young people reach their goals and potential. With ten years of experience as a licensed therapist, Dan is skilled in using therapeutic techniques to help clients manage anxiety and resolve past experiences. He specializes in coaching teenagers, helping them increase their confidence and motivation to tackle their responsibilities and move towards their potential. Dan’s approach focuses on identifying clients’ strengths and channeling their energy productively to accomplish their dreams.
Link To OneYou Coaching & Counseling https://oneyoucoach.com/
In episode 17, guest Brad Baldridge discusses budgeting and paying for college. He explains the importance of early stage planning and late stage planning, and how families can navigate financial planning for college. Brad offers tips on how to find scholarships, negotiate with schools, and pick the right schools for your child. He also talks about the changing system of need-based aid and FAFSA, and how families can stay up-to-date with the latest rules and regulations.
In this episode, Dan talks to Lonnie Woodley and Rosie Napoli. Lonnie is a therapist, former school psychologist and principal (also the father of actor Shailene Woodley but we didn’t really get into that our of respect for her privacy). Rosie Napoli is also a parent, former therapist and social worker. Dan, Lonnie and Rosie explore how parenting is a permanent job that is constantly changing depending on the child’s developmental level. Tune in and enjoy this discussion about the joy and challenge of moving towards a finish line that doesn’t exist.
In this episode, Dan shares his golf metaphor for parenting and how it can help kids aim for success. He reminds us that just like in golf, we don't always have to know exactly where the pin is, and it's okay for our kids to start by heading in the general direction of their goals. As parents, our role is to help our kids grow qualities like practice, patience, and determination, and the rest will take care of itself. Tune in for some great parenting tips that will help your kids succeed!
📢 Parenting Tip Alert! 📢
Looking for ways to handle your child's behavior? Check out this great tip from Denise, a seasoned parent. She suggests focusing on natural and logical consequences and teaching your children how their behavior affects others and their relationships.
Remember, your children are people too and should be treated with respect. Help them develop into thinking adults who can reason and make sound decisions.
Thanks, Denise, for sharing your wisdom with us!
Denise McLain, LCSW is former head of Intensive Services for Foster Youth at Penny Lane Centers where she supervised Dan as a new therapist.
In this episode of ‘What Did I Say?’ Dan uses a relatable football metaphor to discuss the importance of teamwork in parenting. He emphasizes that success is not possible without a plan that everyone has bought into. Join Dan in this insightful episode for more parenting tips and tricks that are sure to help you tackle the challenges of parenting with ease.
Dan and comedian Alicia Dattner discuss dating and love addiction as depicted in her hilarious solo show “The Oy of Sex.” Dattner discusses her search for self-esteem through dating and kissing boys and her recovery to self-love. Dan and Dattner also discuss childhood experiences that effect our ability to advocate for ourselves during adolescence and adulthood. Dan ends the show by identifying the parenting take-aways we can put into action today to help our teens and young adults gravitate towards fulfilling and healthy relationships. This is a fun and informative episode! Go to: www.aliciadattner.com to check out Alicia Dattner’s performances, writing workshops and other events.
Dan and guest Karen Kopulos (aka. KK) dive right into a conversation/education about what parents can learn about pronouns and inclusion in order to better connect with their teens and young adults. KK explains how many Gen Z and Millennials have gained an understanding of gender and sex that is more expansive than what we grew up with and how we (parents) can help bridge that gap with education. KK also educates Dan on the history of Trans inclusion and the importance of creating safe spaces for all vulnerable young people whether it be our children or their friends. Don’t miss this one!
KK is a therapist, educator and advocate for trans youth and their families. She works at The Wild Heart Society www.wildheartsociety.org. Also, check out the podcast, “The Camp Wildheart Podcast” to learn more about trans and queer affirming parenting and other important issues.
Dan opens the show with his guest, Richard Halpern who is a parent coach and former school counselor in Oregon and Washington. Dan and Richard dive into a conversation about divorce/separation including helpful tips for parents that are currently going through separation. Richard also explains the effect that divorce, and separation has on youth of all ages. Richard discusses how to “turn lemons into lemonade” and offers a roadmap for a healthy transition from spouse/partner to coparent. Dan wraps up the episode with helpful takeaways which include his personal experience as a product of divorced parents.
Visit Coach4parents.com and book a free consultation with Richard Halpern if you are going through a separation or in need of any parent coaching.
Dan opens the show with Amber Liechty where they begin their discussion about the effects of porn on teenagers and in general. Amber illuminates on related issues such as how to discuss sex with our children, role modeling affection with our partners and consent. Amber is truly gifted at articulating and educating us on these challenging topics. Dan felt hopeful at the conclusion of this discussion and so will you.
Some information and links referred to by Amber:
https://www.missingkids.org
https://www.bellesa.co
“The Price of Pleasure” Available on Kanopy and other platforms.
Dan opens the show by discussing his new practice OneYou Coaching. Dan explains the difference between coaching and therapy to help you, parents, to find the right professional to help your child thrive. Dan then has a conversation with the founder of Youth Coaching Institute, Dr. Leah Mazzola. Dr. Leah is one of the leaders in the field of youth coaching. She lends us her expertise on how to set our children up for success at school and how to define success in a way that is healthy and balanced. Towards the end of the discussion, Dr. Leah opens up about her personal experience as a mother and wife. This includes the parenting 180 she experiences when she attended graduate school for child psychology. Regardless of the age or GPA of your child, you don’t want to miss this episode.
Dan opens the show on camera for the first time since What Did I Say expanded to YouTube. Dan gets right to the interview with Michael The Chairman, podcaster, youtuber and standup comedian. Michael has been disabled and bound to a wheelchair since he was born. Michael and Dan discuss meeting challenges with humor and Michael expands on his experiences with bullying and gaming when he was in high school. Michael explains to Dan how he took the power away from his bullies when he approached then with Love? What?? This is not only an inspiring discussion but has many useful takeaways for all parents which Dan discusses after the interview. Don’t miss this episode especially if your child is being bullied.
Dan begins the show answering a question from a viewer about how to react to your adult children when they bring up unresolved issues from the past. Dan then interviews Valerie Edwards, a dietician from the Portland, OR area that specializes in teenagers. Valerie enlightens us about how to facilitate a healthy food culture in the home and the potential harm to a “diet culture.” Valeria also discusses how we, as parents, can model a healthy relationship with food. Dan wraps up with another question from a listener from his home town of Michigan.
Dan begins the show with a quick story about how to model integrity for our children. Dan then interviews therapist, Amber Henin, who shares her expertise about ADHD from a professional and personal perspective. Amber runs groups for youth and adults in the Portland, OR area and explains how we can reframe ADHD from a disorder to a strength that society and has difficulty understanding and supporting. Amber explains how parents can honor that strength in their children rather than adding pressure and expectations that might push them away. If you have a child with ADHD, this is a must interview! Dan wraps up with a story from his childhood illustrating his own ADHD struggles and how his parents learned to support him. Dan concludes the episode with a question from you about walking the walk of his own parenting advice.
Dan opens the show about family vacations and how we as parents sometimes squeeze the fun out it them with unrealistic expectations. Dan then interviews his friend and comedian, Dan Gabriel, who talks about the “cult of Los Angeles Baseball.” Dan Gabriel enlightens us on how to raise a child in competitive athletics without squeezing the fun out of that. Dan shares his secrets about how to foster excellence without projecting our anxiety onto our kids and the importance of treating each child as an individual. Dan wraps up with some important take-aways from the discussion including the importance of instilling self-motivation in our kids. Finally, Dan takes a question from you. Also, for your comedy fans, Dan and Dan banter a little about the old days.
Dan opens the show with a quick pitch about the importance of connecting with our kids when they are young, so that they want to speak with us when they’re older (and we’re old.) Dan then interviews Greg Behrendt, comedian and author of the 2004 best seller He’s Just Not That Into You. Greg’s book established him as a relationship expert when it comes to dating, but now Greg opens up about his relationship with his daughters. Greg’s story of how drugs, alcohol, cancer and career success impacted his experience as a father is inspiring. Dan then debriefs on some important points form the interview such as parental roles and technology. Dan closes answering a question from you.
Dan opens the show with a parenting tip on how to successfully praise our sensitive teenagers. He then moves on to define and discuss the effect of “Small T” traumas on our teenagers and young adults. This leads into the main interview with therapist/trauma specialist, Hanika Foster, who expands on how to support our teens when they encounter Small T’s and how our unprocessed trauma can impact our parenting. Hanika also discusses her treatment specialty, EMDR, as a means of successfully reprocessing trauma. Dan wraps up with a quick debrief of the interview including a quick discussion about supporting our children’s dreams (a little off topic but I got inspired).
Welcome to the What Did I Say Podcast!
This episode I kick off the podcast with how to address BS in the teenager parent dynamic. I then give a quick plug to one of my parenting Bibles, The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary, PhD.
We then head to the interview portion with my friend and colleague Tricia Colcord, founder and CEO of Healing Solutions Family Therapy Center.
Wrapping up the episode I do a short monologue about how I try to apply Tricia's wisdom into my life as a parent.
Hope you enjoy it and looking forward to your feedback!