Get Out of Porn Podcast: Recent Episodes
Joe Wilkie
The "Get Out of Porn Podcast" is a weekly podcast to do just that: to help listeners get out of porn. Brought to you by Joe Wilkie, M.A., LPC, who specializes in sex addiction in his private practice, this podcast is intended to be both practical and insightful. By discussing topics such as triggers, accountability, emotions, trauma, inner child, brain chemistry, betrayal trauma, and more, this is not your typical behavioral addictions podcast.
One of the hardest parts of healing from porn addiction is helping the spouse heal from the betrayal and emotional wounds. To do so, they need ways to ground themselves emotionally. In this episode, Joe discusses how they can do so.
It this week's episode, Joe takes a look at common withdrawal symptoms to porn addiction and how to handle them.
In this episode, Joe discusses how to confess a relapse, specifically after a long period of sobriety. In it, he shares specific tips on eating the frog, maintaining a positive sense of self, and more.
In this episode, Joe discusses finding motivation wherever possible to get out of the addiction including engaging in November's 'No Nut November.'
In this episode, Joe examines what each day looks like as an addict, a person just getting sober, a person six months sober, and a person 10 years sober. How is the day structured differently? What sort of things are done each day? How does the day of a man who is 10 years sober differ from the man just getting sober? Each question and more is answered.
Those familiar with the 12-step program will understand outer, middle, and inner circle behaviors. In this episode, Joe defines middle circle behaviors and talks about potential behaviors for porn addicts to avoid. He also discusses microcosms and how the little things in your life tell much bigger stories.
One of the hardest parts about sobriety is rebuilding trust with your significant other after you've been caught or have come clean. In this episode, Joe talks about how to rebuild trust and gives advice to the addict and to the wounded partner.
In this episode, Joe talks about the need to find a positive replacement for porn with the new found time, energy, and money that often accompanies sobriety. It's not enough to just quit porn. Sobriety must come with positive life changes.
In a recent episode, Joe discussed the role of the father in a son's porn addiction. In this episode, Joe examines the role of the mother including struggles with overbearing mothers, how a mom can best support her son, and how the addict must learn to love him or herself.
Our society has created a pendulum for men that swings between the woke fear of "toxic masculinity" and finding our masculinity in our high libido or in things like big trucks and country music. We struggle to know what true masculinity looks like and how it can help us get out of porn. In this episode, Joe takes a look at how pursuing manhood and masculinity can help us better our relationship with ourselves and thus help us find freedom.
We know how important positive attachment with your parents is when it comes to porn addiction, but there's a special importance placed on fathers in particular. In this episode, Joe discusses actions to take if you are the addict who has a poor relationship with your father as well as if you're the father who is looking to help your son.
In your sobriety, it's common for your wife, girlfriend, parents, friends, or others to criticize or fail to believe in your sobriety. This can trigger us to act out if we're not careful. In this episode, Joe discusses how to appropriately handle criticism and stay present with those criticizing your efforts.
It's the age-old question in psychology: Is this problem more due to nature or nurture? In this episode, Joe discusses whether porn addiction and its roots are more due to nature or nurture.
In this episode, Joe talks about the three hydras of recovery and how living intentionally solves each.
In this week's episode, Joe takes a look at some of the best trauma techniques to help you process through your trauma.
What is Big "T" vs. Little "T" trauma? What is complex PTSD? What if I don't have any major traumas and yet I'm still addicted to porn? In this episode, Joe answers all of these questions and more.
In this week's episode, Joe talks about the unforgivable sin pertaining to porn addiction. Your mind might run to horrible types of pornography or certain sexual acts, but it is none of those things. It has to do with the heart.
Joe is back with another episode on eight common myths many believe concerning pornography addiction, especially those in Christianity. Working through these unhelpful myths are key to overcoming the addiction.
In this episode, Joe gives advice to the unmarried porn addict, the unmarried non-addict, and the significant other of a porn addict.
Have you ever known something without actually knowing it? You logically grasp it, but you fail to feel it. In this episode, Joe discusses the disconnect addicts often have between knowing something and failing to feel the truth of it.
In this episode, Joe explains more terms concerning sex addiction including future tripping, recovery, and trauma.
In this episode, Joe looks to define terms that he regularly uses but that some listeners may not understand. What does "Dysregulation" mean or "Foundation"? Those terms and a few more are defined in this part-1 episode.
Is masturbation wrong? This is a common (yet taboo) question among teens and adults alike, especially in Christian circles. Everyone knows porn is wrong, but what about masturbation? In this episode, Joe discusses why it's wrong and what someone can do to get help to stop.
Do you listen to your betrayed spouse when they are triggered or do you find yourself becoming defensive or detaching emotionally? In this episode, Joe discusses attuning to your spouse and truly listening to them in order to understand them.
When discussing addiction, you'll often hear about codependency and how addicts will take advantage of enablers in their life in their codependent marriage and relationships. But what about when an addict is the emotionally available and enabling one? In this episode, Joe discusses how many porn addicts actually seek codependent relationships where they fail to set boundaries with others.
We know porn affects our mental and emotional health, but it also affects us physically. In this episode, Joe looks at pornography addiction's effect on testosterone in men.
The statistics concerning porn use among women are eye-opening. Over 50% of teen girls are seeking out porn at least once a month. In this episode, Joe discusses the stats and why women run to porn.
Why did God create us with a sex drive? What was His purpose for creating sex? Just to have kids? In this episode, Joe takes a look at God's purpose for sex and why pornography use completely distorts that reason for sex.
Therapy can be daunting and anxiety-inducing, especially if you're wondering whether you've chosen the right one. In this episode, Joe gives practical tips to assist you in finding the right therapist to help treat porn addiction.
Have you ever known anyone who heads for the ditch when things are going good? It's almost like they can't stand things being normal or "too good." This happens in addiction quite a bit. In this episode, Joe explores why some addicts self-sabotage and what they can do about it.
"Joe, what books do you recommend for someone trying to quit porn?" I've heard this question so many times, so I decided to cover it on today's episode. I have listed my personal favorite books, content blockers, and websites to visit for those looking to break the addiction.
Books:
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"TINSA" - Dr. Michael Barta
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"Out of the Shadows" - Dr. Patrick Carnes
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"Open" - Craig Gross
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"Every Man's Battle" - Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker
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"Your Brain On Porn" - Gary Wilson
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"Pure Desire" - Ted Roberts
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"Holy Sexuality and the Gospel" - Christopher Yuan
"Rethining Sexuality" - Dr. Juli Slattery
Content Blockers:
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Covenant Eyes
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X3watch
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Pluck Eye
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Fortify
Websites:
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Fightthenewdrug.org
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WhenIamweak.org
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XXXchurch.com
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Yourbrainonporn.com
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Nofap.com
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Defendyoungminds.org
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Changinglanesministries.com
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Purehope.net
What can the church do to help those in the addiction? In this episode, Joe discusses 7 practical tips for church members and addicts alike.
"Just read the Bible and pray to overcome your porn addiction." Have you ever heard this? If so, you may have tried it only to realize it's not quite that simple. In this episode, Joe discusses what to pray for, what not to pray for, and its usefulness in fighting the addiction.
We should never plan to fail, but in seeking sobriety from pornography we must set appropriate expectations for ourselves. In this episode, Joe explores why this is important and how to avoid the pitfalls of shaming out due to relapse.
Getting sober is incredibly difficult. Staying sober can be equally as difficult if we don't put the right habits in place. In this episode, Joe explores a few basic tools to staying sober.
The holidays can be tough on addicts for a few reasons - brand new devices for Christmas, unstructured schedules, boredom, etc. In this episode, Joe discusses how an addict can navigate the holidays.
How do you talk to your children about porn and sex? How do you tell your children about your addiction? In this episode, Joe looks to answer these questions about these and more.
Touchy Subjects: https://www.amazon.com/Touchy-Subjects-Talking-Social-Touchscreen/dp/1497352002/ref=sr_1_1?crid=30VK56KVG9EZ2&keywords=touchy+subjects&qid=1671219079&sprefix=touchy+subjects%2Caps%2C139&sr=8-1
Identity is about our relationship with ourselves. Most addicts either hate themselves or have virtually no relationship with themselves. In this episode, Joe discusses why that's a problem and why a person's relationship with God must be at the core of his or her being, driving a better relationship with oneself.
In this episode, Joe explains the role of attachment wounds on porn addiction including the core negative beliefs that arise from poor attachment.
In this episode, Joe explains Internal Family Systems and our various internal parts including how IFS can be used to overcome porn addiction.
In this episode, Joe takes a look at the cognitive triangle and the underlying emotions to the addiction. He gives practical advice as to how an addict can begin to understand and process through his or her trauma and negative emotions.
In this episode, Joe discusses the brain science behind the addiction. There's a chemical reason the addict doesn't "just stop." This episode is intended to help you learn the terms of the brain science and get more educated surrounding the nature of this addiction.
Should you tell your fiancé about your porn use? How do you come clean to your wife about your addiction? Why is it so difficult to do so, and why does she react so poorly? In this episode, Joe explores these questions and more concerning how to talk to your significant other about your porn use.
In this episode, Joe describes the shame cycle and why it is so detrimental to the addict. He discusses how to break free from it and avoid its harmful effects.
In this episode, Joe discusses the importance of getting accountable, what to look for in an accountability partner, and how to be one for someone else.
When quitting porn, it's imperative we make some basic behavioral changes. Which ones? In this episode, Joe explores which changes will help you the most and why.
In this episode, Joe explains white knuckle change and discusses why it doesn't work in breaking free from porn addiciton. He also explores ways to start working toward lasting change.
In this episode, Joe examines whether your porn use is merely a bad habit or if it can be classified as an addiction.
In this episode, Joe explains what triggers are, discusses common triggers for looking at porn and how to avoid them, and briefly explores the deeper issues often underneath each trigger - trauma capsules.
In this first episode, host Joe Wilkie M.A., LPC introduces the podcast and discusses how most people wrongfully view pornography abuse as the problem. Instead, it's the symptom of the real problem.