u awake?: Recent Episodes

View Details

Is social media making us more disconnected? 💔

Is social media addiction now just ‘the way it is’? 💊

When was the last time you were bored? 🥱

In this special guest episode, Khema (@khema.1) and Nalanda (@nal.jakjan) chat with our friend Asanga about the vortex that is social media and our technological devices. We talk about conscious consumption and output of content, to add to the important and developing conversation on social media in this day and age 💻📱

Our guest

Asanga is a Sri-Lankan Australian who grew up in the south east suburbs of Naarm. He currently is based on Ngunawal Country and works in public policy. He has a deep passion for advocating for multicultural young people having worked and volunteered for a number of youth advocacy and service delivery organisations. You can frequently find him tinkering with his camera or trying to improve a wayward jump shot.

Timestamps

(00:56) Introduction to Asanga

(03:01) What is your relationship with social media?

(03:46) Asanga’s relationship with social media

(07:06) Different uses for social media

(08:31) Nalanda’s relationship with social media

(11:40) How do you handle triggering content?

(14:06) Khema’s relationship with social media

(15:58) Sutrayana vs Vajrayana

(16:38) Not censoring content and observing how your mind reacts

(17:20) Different avenues for content consumption

(19:04) The algorithm can hijack you (and your senses)

(20:08) Conscious consumption

(20:39) Not looking at Instagram stories

(22:36) We are settling for mediocre connections

(23:50) But we are also conNECTED AF

(26:27) Superficiality of content

(27:40) An outlet for DNMs

(29:34) Micro-rejections, praise and blame

(32:32) Posting for yourself > for others

(35:33) Not quantifying memories

(36:23) You have to be prepared for feedback

(37:56) A powerful tool for social impact

(40:01) Delivering the positive impacts of social media (e.g. BeReal)

(42:48) Our relationships with our devices

(50:30) When was the last time you were bored?

(51:42) Being glued to your device is socially acceptable

(52:33) Restraint from consuming content

(53:05) Society catering to our phone addictions

(54:07) How loneliness shows up under anesthesia

(55:00) Not being on your device is unusual

(55:55) Aimless scrolling

(56:36) Strategies to limit use of device

(58:31) Downtimes and holidays

(01:02:20) No phones at the temple

References

The Rejected Generation: how we’re being shut out, and what it’s doing to us (Microrejections)

Gen Z is lonely – here’s how it shows under anesthesia – Dr. Kaveh

Sabbath and the Art of Rest

Substack

The Eight Worldly Conditions

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast

DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode!

This episode was recorded in 2023.

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask for the listener’s forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

🚨 Trigger warning: suicide, loneliness, depression 🚨

Jaded (adj.) The end result of having a steady flow of negative experiences, disappointment, and unfulfilment fed into a person where they get to the point where their anger circuits just sort of burn out and they accept disillusionment.

If you have reached this stage in your life, congratulations! You are well and truly a full-fledged adult! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Jokes aside, as we grow older, it’s hard not to feel jaded as the Disney-induced rose-tinted glasses start coming off and the harsh realities of life set in🌹👓💔

Tune in to Nalanda (@nal.jakjan) and Khema (@khema.1) chat about the hard-to-swallow pills in life, from losing relationships to existential loneliness, with advice from our Ajahn.

Timestamps (01:06) Jaded about friendships (02:21) Over-dependence (03:16) Rock bottom (07:00) Self-reliance (08:14) Trust issues (09:40) Ajahn’s triple-0 (10:42) Giving without expectation (12:19) The jadedness doesn’t benefit you (12:51) Don’t blame other people if you didn’t communicate properly (13:14) People have a right to be selfish (14:04) It’s hard to ask for help (15:41) Family, career, partner > friends (17:14) Nothing has changed, it’s the view that needs to change (17:42) False sense of security (19:08) Dhamma offers another way (19:17) No expectations > low expectations (20:09) Most of the time people’s actions say more about them than about us (21:17) Taking kindness personally turns into entitlement (22:25) No ‘personal’ relationships (25:05) People’s actions have to do with their qualities (25:25) Needing to feel special and seeking out emotionally unavailable people (26:47) Needing someone during really dire situations (27:13) Family ties (29:20) The vulnerability of disability and losing independence (31:42) Identifications challenged (33:00) There are people out there who have it harder (but don’t dismiss yourself) (35:15) Step 1: Acknowledging that I am helpless right now (37:02) Karma is changeable (37:56) Happy endings (38:23) Enough of Samsara (39:21) Suffered enough (41:07) Sitting with the discomfort (42:04) Burning room (44:47) We’re all just on painkillers (45:12) Family bonds are different (46:25) There is a happiness that is permanent and lasting (47:13) Reality is daunting (47:55) Listen to the whispers (aka intuition) (48:50) A hundred lifetimes of men (49:52) “You can call me anytime” (51:13) Anna Akana (52:18) Psychotherapy vs Dhamma (57:24) The other shore is probably so much better tbh (58:45) Everyone else is suffering too (01:00:00) You’re playing god for yourself (01:01:25) Escaping life and the fear of death

References

Vaṭṭaka Paritta: The Baby Quail's Protection

The Buddha’s Relationship Advice by Ajahn Thanissaro

For When the World Can’t Help You by Ajahn Thanissaro

Why I stopped drinking by Anna AkanaHow to validate yourself by Anna Akana

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast

DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode!

This episode was recorded in 2023.

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask for the listener’s forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

Ahhh, the Five Precepts… the bread and butter of Buddhism 🍞🧈

Are they cut-and-dried rules or are there ‘loopholes’? What do you do if you break a precept? What’s the point of keeping sīla (morality) anyway? Is it EVER okay to lie? And will a tiny sip of alcohol really harm anybody?

In this episode Khema (@khema.1) and Nalanda (@nal.jakjan) share their practice of the precepts, stories of when their sīla practice was tested, and reflections on this simple but incredibly profound teaching. 😌

Timestamps

(00:49) Wim Hof Breathing

(04:16) Motivation for the episode

(04:48) Khema’s relationship with sīla

(07:39) Nalanda’s relationship with sīla

(09:37) Ajahn Dtun on sīla

(12:03) ‘Loopholes’ in sīla practice?

(14:00) It’s a training, not a performance

(15:40) Sīla as a lifestyle

(16:46) Gentleness when you make mistakes

(17:12) It ain’t a sin

(17:57) ‘I undertake this training…’

(19:01) Rising up to occasions that test your sīla

(20:13) ‘This is what normal people do’

(21:30) Sila = Brahmaviharas

(23:18) Story #1: Skilful speech (Valentine’s Day drama!!)

(30:50) Story #2: Copyrights

(33:37) Story #3: Alcohol in food

(41:14) Trusting the Buddha & wise shame

(42:25) Finding the middle

(43:06) What about swearing??

(45:18) Integrity uplifts the mind

(46:13) Sīla makes you a safe person

(47:11) The Five Precepts ARE the higher Dhamma

(48:43) Sīla is letting go of ego

(51:50) Going against the stream

(53:11) Thought experiment: Imagine if everyone kept the Five Precepts…

References

Damian’s breath group: Yarra Valley Breath & Cold Connection

Wim Hof Method

Vinaya (Buddhist Monastic Code)

• https://accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/bmc1.pdf
• https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/bmc2.pdf?ref=opendharma.com

The Five Precepts (Access to Insight)

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast

DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode!

This episode was recorded in 2023.

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

When you hear the term ‘self-love’, you think bubble baths, manicures, ice cream. 🛀💅🍨We’ve discovered after some years of experimenting that, no, it is not, in fact, about bubble baths, manicures and ice cream - it’s about being a friend to yourself 🥰This is actually the practice of mettā or loving-kindness, which is an important foundation of the practice. We feel it’s not talked about enough so we are! Tune in to hear Khema (@khema.1) and Nalanda (@nalanda.jakjan) discuss loneliness, independence, self-empathy and mettā 💕Timestamps(00:48) - Catch-up(03:33) - Motivation for the episode(06:11) - Gentleness in the practice(07:42) - Loneliness(08:35) - Advice from Ajahns(11:45) - Self-love, self-empathy(13:47) - Fill your own cup first(14:48) - Like a friend would(15:27) - Notice the way yoau talk to yourself(19:25) - Like serving a client(22:12) - Glitches in the mind(23:16) - You can’t do this practice without metta(26:12) - Being intense but also having metta??(27:45) - The criticiser and the critised(29:37) - Independence is a quality of the stream-enterer(30:52) - You seek out what you lack(31:31) - Being independent vs needing support(35:33) - Attā hi attano nātho(36:41) - What if you have a negative personality?

References:

• Dhammapada verse 160

• Upaddha Sutta

Resources:

• Virtual Metta Retreat (series) by Ajahn Sona

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcastDM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about!

This episode was recorded in 2023.For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener’s forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

Today’s episode is a long-awaited catch up episode recorded at the end of last year in 2022 with Khema (@khema.1) in Malaysia and Nalanda (@nalanda.jakjan) in Thailand. We finally have the opportunity to share this episode with you all and this time in video format! The episode features stories from Nalanda’s trip to Chiangmai in November 2022, visiting Thai forest monks in the North, learning about the history of the places that she visited with the Vimokkharam committee and our Ajahn, Ajahn Hāsapañño.

Timestamps:

(1:28) - Food poisoning

(8:51) - Reflections on Thailand vs. Melbourne

(10:04) - Chiangmai Trip

(10:13) - Wat Dhammasanti (Luang Pu Insom)

(12:25) - Wat Tham Dok Kham (Ajahn Mun)

(12:40) - Wat Pah Achan Man Phurithatto (Luang Por Moo)

(13:21) - Wat Pah Kantitham (Luang Por Lai)

(14:01) - Wat Pah Panyawuttharam (Prah Ajahn Khemanando)

(17:21) - Places where Ajahn Hāsapañño tudonged.

(17:40) - Phrao market

(18:02) - Hill tribe people

(20:01) - Wat Doi Mae Pang

(20:36) - Wat Pah Nanachat

(21:02) - Ajahn Sumedho

(22:45) - The Hard Drive

(25:14) - Nalanda's string of bad luck

(25:25) - Birds

(27:24) - Luang Pu Waen Suciṇṇo (Wat Doi Mae Pang)

View Details

Generosity can be a very confusing, complex concept in society.We could be guilted into giving - "You have so much, and they have so little - if you don't give, then you're just selfish and privileged."We could be giving to save face - "If I don't do this favour for them, what will they think of me?"We could be giving out of pity - "These poor people have such sad lives - the least I can do is give them something..."We could be giving out of other various negative intentions or emotions. It might not feel good because there can sometimes be a sense of reluctance or the feeling that we've been pressured into giving when we don't really want to.In this episode, Khema (@khema.1) and Nalanda (@nalanda.jakjan) discuss generosity and how they view and practice giving, following the guidelines given by the Buddha, which makes it a straightforward and uplifting act for the mind 🤲✨💖Timestamps  (0:51) - Motivation for the episode (01:38) - Generosity in mainstream culture (02:21) - Feeling pressured to give (04:32) - Pressuring people to give (12:11) - Suspecting that you’re giving to a scammer (15:32) - Giving can be complex (16:15) - Do your research before giving (17:51) - Giving to ‘save face’ (20:51) - It's not worth giving if you have break sila to do it (21:31) - Giving to preserve harmony (22:10) - Buddhism provides a clear guideline for giving (23:01) - Give where you feel inspired (23:49) - Giving out of pity vs compassion (25:20) - Give at your capacity and with equanimity(27:16) - Generosity as a practice, not an obligation (27:55) - Equality/ eradication of poverty is just a lofty ideal (30:01) - Status of giving in society is degraded (30:55) - Types of gifts (31:20) - Purity of the giver and receiver (32:20) - Giving encouragement (33:26) - There are many opportunities to give (34:07) - Hilarious stories of bogus monks, haha (38:26) - Knowing how to judge (39:07) - Generosity as a way to uplift your mind (40:31) - Giving with expectation of something in return (41:46) - Gift-giving - 'troublesome' cultural ritual?(42:57) - Intrinsically motivated to give (43:39) - Marie Kondo it - "does it spark joy?" ✨References:The Economy of Gifts by Ajahn Thanissaro MN 142 Dakkhiṇāvibhaṅgasutta: The analysis of religious donations Divine Abidings and their perfection (Brahma-vihara) [Info on near and far enemies] Three (not four - sorry!) types of giving - The Perfection of Giving by Acariya Dhammapala Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcastDM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about!This episode was recorded in 2022.For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener’s forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

When we think of Buddhists, we can imagine them being pretty zen and peaceful people, meditating on a cliff somewhere. In reality, while we're not inherently angry people, we do experience anger in day-to-day situations. In this episode, Khema (@khema.1) and Nalanda (@nalanda.jakjan) share epic stories of our internal and external struggles with people, from Nalanda battling it out with a guy at Chadstone car park, to Khema standing her ground with an airport Karen, we'll share tips of how we deal with our anger, while growing to become more assertive in our adult lives.      References:  Akkosa Sutta.  (https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn07/sn07.002.than.html) Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast       DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about!      This episode was recorded in 2022.     For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener’s forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

Kids: to have or not to have? 🤔 That is the question.

We're reaching that age (mid 20s, to 30s) where we're starting to think about things like marriage and maybe starting a family... 👪👶🍼  As we look around us, our friends are getting engaged, married or already having children. Will I be a good parent? Do parents even have time to themselves, let alone find time to practice meditation? And what is it that makes us want to have children?    Tune in for this discussion between Khema (@khema.1), Nalanda (@nalanda.jakjan) and our very special guest/ friend/ older 'sister', Narissa (@narissa.jd) 💖  Timestamps:  (02:05) - Do you want kids?   (06:51) - Is it just a ‘biological clock’ ticking in?   (08:05) - Can you still prioritise your practice if you have a kid?   (11:04) - Developing unconditional love   (13:21) - Reasons why people want kids   (15:14) - How people react when you say “I don’t want kids”   (18:28) - Having kids ‘as investment’   (22:00) - Considering our partners in the decision   (24:35) - Pressure from parents to have kids   (27:26) - Having children to ‘improve the world’   (29:32) - The Story of Dipa Ma   (32:23) - Giving human birth as a gift   (34:10) - “I would kill for my child” - is that unconditional love?   (37:18) - Trauma, healing, attachment theory, responsibilities   (40:57) - Just do your best <3 

References:  Karaniya Metta Sutta  Dependent Origination  Indian couple sue only son for not giving them grandchildren  Dipa Ma – Mother, grandmother, yogi | Priyavajra 

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast    DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about!    

This episode was recorded in 2022.    For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener’s forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

Another episode on parents! Our relationships with our parents are always morphing as we find a comfortable footing with them as adults. We've had some insights since the first 'parents' episode (ep #7: parents are human too) and we'd like to share them with you. Khema (@khema.1) and Nalanda (@nalanda.jakjan) talk gratitude, entitlement, boundaries - and how our parents are a little bit like devas or angels 😇🧚🏻‍♂️🥺🥰🙏🏻

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast

DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about!

This episode was recorded in 2022.

Please note that our reflections on parents and family reflect our individual experiences and are not intended to be generalised to all families. We recognise that each individual has a unique experience of parent-child and familial relationships, depending on factors like cultural context and individual family culture and values.

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener’s forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

Kicking back off with an intense topic… which hopefully teaches you how to deal with intense pain 🤪 - or how to decide when enduring with pain is unnecessary 😌

Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) share their experiences from knee pain in meditation to period pains to broken bones 🦴 

References:   

Samyutta Nikaya 36.6 Sallatha Sutta: The Arrow 

Healing through pain (from Khema’s blog) 

Follow us on Instagram:

www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast  

DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about!   

This episode was recorded in 2022.  

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener’s forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

It’s the last episode of the season!!  

In this special episode, Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) speak to two guests (and dear dear friends!!) - Gwen Lyne and Dara - about speaking up and learning how to say 'no' as young women. They share funny stories of times they were not able to speak up, and how they have reflected on and learned from those experiences. TL;DR: speaking up is definitely a skill and a part of Right Speech!  

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast  

DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in season 2! Stay tuned!  

This episode was recorded in 2022. 

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

As we transition into adulthood, there are some serious growing pains - especially in our relationship with our parents.   

How do we reconcile the idea of them being these amazing, perfect beings from our childhood and the fact that they are... well, just humans, who experience their own difficulties as individuals?   

Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) share their difficulties and lessons from their relationships with their parents.   

References: 

Anguttara Nikaya 2.31-32 Kataññu Sutta 

Voice Hugs Podcast (by Rowena Tsai & Vivian Van) 

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast   

DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode!   

This episode was recorded in 2022. 

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

We are fans of Japanese 🇯🇵 and Korean 🇰🇷 dramas - and we’re sure many of you are too. In our very first guest episode (!!!), our friend Minhyeok joins us all the way from Seoul to dive into the world of dramas. 

How have these romantic stories affected our real-life relationships? How have they shaped our view of romance? We investigate the many cultural perspectives within these Japanese and Korean dramas, note how each society is reflected in these stories, and also how life is portrayed unrealistically within them.     

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast   

Follow Minhyeok’s poetry page on instagram: @hwamok._.happy   

Khema’s IG: @khema.1

Nalanda’s IG: @jakjan.nalanda   

DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode!  

This episode was recorded in 2021.  

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

How often do we do things just because we think society expects it of us?

How often do we go after things that we don’t really want?

These questions are part of the turbulent process of trying to answer the questions: Who am I and what do I want?

In this episode, we talk quarter-life crises. They’re definitely a thing. As ‘non-starters’ who have had many roadblocks in starting our careers, we understand the pain. It can get frustrating comparing where we are with where our peers are at - but things happens in their own time. Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) share about social pressures that they have faced as young adults and what they have learned.

References:

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast

DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode!

This episode was recorded in 2022.

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

There probably aren’t many things in life that feel worse than losing a pet - but as with all suffering, it can teach you. Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) share their stories of navigating the process of taking care of furbabies close to death and dealing with the very difficult experience of loss. We also discuss euthanasia, karma and rebirth.  

References:

Petavatthu (Access to Insight, Sutta Central)

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast  

DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode!  

This episode was recorded in 2021. We would like to dedicate it to Phoebe (2018) and Scotch (2021). 

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

As Buddhists it’s easy to think that we’re not ‘allowed’ to have depression or anxiety - after all, we’re meant to know the way out of all suffering, right? This week, Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) chat mental health, stigma and the extra layer of difficulty surrounding these issues as Buddhists, and finding the middle way in practice. 

References:

AN3.65 Kalama Sutta 

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast  

DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode!  

This episode was recorded in 2021. 

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

Do you get nervous around monks? Feel like you have to stand a little straighter? Feel like you gotta be extra holy? We understand. This week, Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) reflect on their experiences and misconceptions around monks and how that has changed over time. Over time, we’ve learned that monks are very human and that the fear doesn’t serve you. We also talk about the importance of being discerning in choosing which teachers to follow.  

PS HAPPY WESAK!!!!

Resources:

Majjhima Nikaya 47: Vīmaṁsasaka Sutta 

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast  

DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode!  

This episode was recorded in 2021. 

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

As practicing Buddhists, we sometimes feel a pressure to compare and judge ourselves based on how much we have ‘achieved’ in our own practice, how many Dhamma books we have read, how many hours we meditate and what Jhanas we have attained. In Episode 1, Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) chat about greed in the practice, meditation retreat PTSD, guilt and shame, and learning to take a chill pill and transcend all of that.  

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast  

DM us if you have questions, comments or a topic you want us to talk about in a future episode!

This episode was recorded in 2021.

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.

View Details

After about a year in the making... the u awake? podcast is finally here! Khema (@khema.1) & Nalanda (@jakjan.nalanda) tell you a little bit about themselves, reminisce about their spiritual journeys and share their hopes for the podcast.  

Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/uawake_podcast

This episode was recorded in 2022.

For any words said negligently or that may have caused offence, we ask the listener's forgiveness and take full responsibility.