Decision Masters: Recent Episodes
Kirsten Parker
How do you make decisions? How do you feel about your choices? This podcast will help you SIMPLIFY decision making and empower you to TRUST every choice you make. (Yaaaas!)
I've been coaching big-brained high-achievers for years, helping them drop lifelong habits of overthinking & harsh self-criticism — so they can make powerful, authentic, self-honoring decisions every day.
And now I'm sharing the science-based, tried-and-tested strategies that will work for YOU. Tune in every Thursday for tools to get out of overwhelm, angst & confusion - and finally feel present in your life, grounded in who you are, and certain of where you're going.
Why does the act of deciding inspire such feelings of fear & finality?
Well, turns out it's not just you being dramatic and/or indecisive...!
Etymologically speaking, it actually makes a lot of sense that we take decisions so dang seriously.
This episode explains why "deciding" really does inspire fear, and how indecision becomes the norm when FEAR is your decision-making baseline.
To get free from indecision, you have to shift your baseline out of fear.
We explore 4 steps to do just that in this episode!
More links!
- Decision Masters Podcast Ep #29: The Cure for "If Only..." Agony
- The FREE Get Shit Done Decision-Making Workshop is available for FREE Instant Access
- Get the Clarity Workshop right frickin' now
- Book your free consult to talk about hiring me to help you make faster, easier, clearer decisions & unleash your Inner Decisive Self!
More Links!
- Victoria Yates' Website: https://www.victoria-yates.com
- Victoria on IG: @nondiet_rn
- Redefining Health Podcast: Wherever you podcast
- Work with Victoria to have peace and freedom with food and your health
- Work with Kirsten to make life decisions easier, faster & more aligned
You're unclear on your goals — but you still have time & energy you have to...use up on stuff.
WHAT NOW.
This episode gives you actionable guidance for when you're in this super common, usually uncomfortable place.
We go into detail on how to:
1. Remove the pressure to know ALL the answers RIGHT now
2. Use this sneaky question to get unstuck: “If you did know what you were going to do next, what would you say?”
3. Identify your Vision, Goals & Values to get clear on what you want
More links!
- Get the Clarity Workshop right frickin' now
- Book your free consult to talk about getting coached on clarity & prioritizing
Sometimes, there really is no tidy, perfect solution where everyone’s happy and you get everything exactly how you wanted it...😬
BUT that doesn’t mean you can’t still feel totally in charge of your choices and be intentional about what you do.
If you feel backed into a corner, like you can't have one thing without sacrificing another — or like you have to give up one possibility to pursue the other — this episode is for you.
These strategies'll help you see:
- How your intentions/desires/goals are NOT competing after all
- How they’re more FLEXIBLE than you thought (meaning you can still have some version of what you want!)
- OR, when it comes to those times you do have to choose, this'll help you make a clear-headed, authentic decision you can stand behind
More links!
- The FREE Get Shit Done Decision-Making Workshop happens Aug 10th - put it on your calendar!
- Ready to talk about working together? Book your free consult to share what you want to work on and find out how Coaching will guarantee growth & change!
a) This episode was inspired by conversations on TikTok — come hang out with me if you’re over there! @thedecisioncoach
And b) if you’re getting any value out of this podcast, I would love love to hear about it. If you have the bandwidth & inclination, you can leave a rating and review to let me know what’s resonating, what you’re trying out, what’s helpful. (Thank you!)
A lot of what I’ve heard from people lately is about “prioritizing.”
How do I choose what to do first, how do I feel ok about what’s not getting done while I’m doing something else, how do I not self-sabotage and say I’ll do this but then put it off forever...?
If you’re listening real-time, make sure you sign up for the upcoming workshop: the Get Shit Done Decision-Making Workshop happens Aug 10th.
Today we’re looking at how to prioritize when you don’t know where to start.
I give you a series of high-quality questions to ask to organize your brain chaos, prevent back-n-forthing, and make a decision you trust about what to prioritize!
MORE LINKS!
- The FREE Get Shit Done Decision-Making Workshop happens Aug 10th - grab your seat!
- Clarity Workshop: Clarify your Vision, Goals & Values (and if goals feel murky right now - this gives you 3 different Goal Setting techniques to work with your brain, where you are today, and get your goals clear, concise & on paper)
- Ready to talk about working together? Book your free consult to share what you want to work on and find out how Coaching will guarantee growth & change!
- Here's the full episode page if you want complete notes 🤓
If the idea that "You don't have to be productive all the time" sounds scary AND wonderful, this episode is for you.
Hard-working high-achievers learn the mindset that To work is to succeed & earn value...To rest is to quit, fail and basically be worthless.
It's no suprise that, at some point, we get sick of this mindset and realize we'd love to rest AND get stuff done — and stop feeling so crappy about ourselves.
This episode gives you 3 things to do to start implementing this new way of being.
3 ways to escape the Productivity Police you've feared all your life but no longer wanna run from!
I know you want to get stuff done — I’m with you — but I also know you want to enjoy daily life more and stop feeling like you never do enough.
Deep down, you and I both know you’re doing A LOT — and we also know that beating yourself up is not the winning strategy to get your next goal accomplished.
Have fun creating a world without Productivity Police! I guarantee you’ll get more meaningful stuff done, but more importantly, you’ll feel your best doing it.
More links!
- Come to the Get Shit Done Decision-Making Workshop on Aug 10th
- Want to work together and really get sh done? Coaching helps you capitalize on your strengths, change habits that get in the way and stay accountable to the goals that matter to you. Book your consultation here** to talk about working together.
There's a LOT of potential in the year ahead.
But diving straight into a Goal Game Plan can set you up for burnout & misalignment if you don't take the time to reflect on the year so far!
This guided exercise is designed to help you reflect & reset in a structured, intentional, doable way.
Download your free REFLECT + RESET GUIDE here (or visit kirstenparker.com/60)
Have fun envisioning the year you want — and seeing how it's so possible for you!
If you use all the information of where you're coming from and what won't work well to get where you wanna go, you'll make it easy to get there.
Enjoy!
More links:
- Download your Mid-Year Reflect + Reset Guide
- Grab your Free Crash Course on How to Say NO: A quick but in-depth training & downloadable that'll set you up for any situation where you want to say NO and stick to it, guilt-free!
- Ready to work together to turn your Vision into reality? Book your free hour here.
If you're a hard-working high-achiever who's "a bit too hard on yourself"...you may be talking yourself out of one or more of these 4 things on a daily basis without even knowing it.
Which matters because these 4 things are VITAL to a fulfilling, whole, happy, authentic life.🚨
And we can get in the habit of automatically depriving ourselves of them.
This episode walks you through how to spot it if it's happening (it can be SO subtle) — what the ripple effects are (and will be) if you keep on doing it — and simple things to try this week to start changing this habit asap.
I challenge you to see what happens when you STOP talking yourselves out of this stuff. I'm guessing if you give it a try, you won't go back!
More links!
- Grab your Free Crash Course on How to Say NO: A quick but in-depth training & downloadable that'll set you up for any situation where you want to say NO and stick to it, guilt-free!
- Ready to take charge of your time, productivity, mindset, and how you treat yourself...? Yup, you're ready for Coaching. Set up your consult to see if this is right for you.
How much of your daily frustration comes from dealing with stuff not being the way you want? 😤
95...maybe 96% minimum?
This is real!
At some point, it stops mattering if it's a broken dishwasher or a severed finger (not to be gross) — but frustration can become the go-to reaction to almost ANYTHING not going "our way."
And while this often seems justified (or at least unavoidable), it's wasting a TON of your time & energy.
Getting so worked up...potentially judging/shaming yourself for it...then needing to cool off and deal with the thing that upset you in the first place...Not super efficient. And definitely unpleasant!
In this week's episode, I invite you to tune into your Resistance Scale.
You'll learn how to pay attention to how resistant you are automatically to whatever's happening in reality...and how to decide how resistant you WANT to be.
The truth is, frustration isn't always a useless "bad" thing. Sometimes it has helpful information to deliver.
This episode will help you learn how to spot that data when it's there — and how to be less reactive (get less frustrated!) when it truly won't do anything but waste your precious resources.
More links!
- Grab your Free Crash Course on How to Say NO: A quick but in-depth training & downloadable that'll set you up for any situation where you want to say NO and stick to it, guilt-free!
- Let's work together and make this habit change a reality: Book your free hour here.
This week, we're NOT talking about how to catch up on the mountains of stuff you're behind on.
No time management — No delegating — No uber-efficient productivity plans.
In reality, those are all Tylenol. 💊
Sometimes they help make the pain go away.
But they never address the root cause of the problem. Which means it has full permission to keep showing up, for the rest of time.
And we really don't want that because...thinking "I'M BEHIND" every second of the day feels terrible.
So in this episode, I challenge the entire notion of "behind." 🤯
I ask some questions that may bend your brain a bit.
And then I ask some questions that just might set you free.
In my experience, no one's life (or career) has EVER caught on fire when they let go of the idea of "I'm behind." So that's what I propose we do.
You just might take back control of your workload, your pace and your sense of inner peace — worth it!
More links!
- Grab your Free Crash Course on How to Say NO: A quick but in-depth training & downloadable that'll set you up for any situation where you want to say NO and stick to it, guilt-free!
- Ready to take charge of your time, productivity, mindset, and how you treat yourself...? Yup, you're ready for Coaching. Set up your consult to see if this is right for you.
Are you paving your own path?
Running a business or side-hustle, working multiple jobs, crafting your own career??
This is the episode for you!
I talk with two clients who've both changed careers and are now in charge of their own work — and how they each use Coaching to improve their work AND their lives.
Kelsea is a Co-Founder of a Tech Startup, and Diana is a Voiceover Actor. YES. 🙌
Here's what you'll get in this interview:
- How much time & energy decisions consume (And how to get efficient with 'em)
- Overcoming the challenge of creating your own structure as a business owner
- How you can set clearer priorities AND boundaries by differentiating your CEO Mindset from your "Employee Self"
- The SURPRISE key to success when you're "carving your own path" (hint: It's totally Self-Compassion)
More links!
- Grab your Free Crash Course on How to Say NO: A quick but in-depth training & downloadable that'll set you up for any situation where you want to say NO and stick to it, guilt-free!
- Ready to take charge of your time, productivity, mindset, and how you treat yourself...? Yup, you're ready for Coaching. Set up your consult to see if this is right for you.
Are you walking around your life with ridiculously high expectations of yourself in everything you do?
My guess is...probably. 😬
'Cause even though it's exhausting to always go "above & beyond" - that's also how you've created a TON of success for yourself.
So how do you manage it? How do you balance "high standards" with "I want to actually rest sometimes and not burn myself out doing A+++ work on even the tiniest thing that I know doesn't really matter!"..??
That's what this episode is all about! 🙌
How to life the Curse of the High Bar.
It's not about "giving up and doing crap work for the rest of time" (also I've met you...that'll never happen 😅)
But it IS about giving yourself the option to give less time, money & energy automatically - because in all honesty, we can stand to lower the bar in a LOT of places in our lives. And nothing will catch on fire.
As you break the habit of always expecting above & beyond from yourself, you'll free up so many resources to spend on things YOU truly care about - Which will let you love so many more of your choices!
ENJOY.
More links!
- Grab your Free Crash Course on How to Say NO: A quick but in-depth training & downloadable that'll set you up for any situation where you want to say NO and stick to it, guilt-free!
- Let's work together and make this habit change a reality: Book your free hour here.
We think about guilt in a couple of backwards ways.
Either we feel it ALL the time, and think we "should" / deserve to...
Or we think we're WRONG for feeling it at all, because we "should know better" and this is a silly habit to have as a grown adult.
I vote NO to both options.
You do not owe it to the universe (or yourself) to feel guilty 1900 times a day. You simply aren't stealing and murdering enough to warrant that amount of remorse!
NOR should you be able to turn this emotion off like a lightswitch, simply because you're able to "rationally" see that it doesn't make sense in a given scenario. (If only humaning were that straightforward, no?)
But humaning is messy. And guilt is an emotion you're going to feel. So let's get intentional about it!
In this episode, I break down the steps we work through in Coaching to rework how GUILT works in your life.
Remember it's a process that requires practice to change this habit. But if it means feeling 90% LESS guilt for the rest of your life, and making WAY more authentic, aligned decisions...worth it!
More links!
- Download the Free Crash Course: How to Say NO to a Request or Invite (without being a terrible person, ruining a relationship, or ending up doing it anyway!)
- Book your free consult to talk about working together
I don't think I've seen anything complicate decisions more than the agony of "If only..."
This one teensy thought is such a doozy 'cause it wreaks havoc on past, present and future choices.
And if you're listening today, I bet you're ready for the cure — so you can stop:
- Playing out the same mental movies about how past decisions could've gone differently
- Second-guessing every choice you consider today
- Catastrophizing about what you might regret ten years from now
Based on my own personal experience and hearing this from dozens of clients, I also know it's a kind of singularly crappy pain to wholeheartedly believe things would be better...you would be happier or more successful...IF ONLY you'd decided X instead of Y.
But how do you let go of that idea when "If only...." feels so true about the past and so scary about the future?
I'm going to tell you exactly how in today's episode — because there IS truly a cure.
Listen in to find out why this mental habit is so dang compelling — and how to change it (forever).
More links:
- The FREE Decide-a-thon happens Dec 5-7: Come clear up ALL the confusion & doubt (with help!) http://kirstenparker.com/decide-a-thon
- The Decision Masters Program reopens with some brand new upgrades in January! https://kirstenparker.com/dmp
It's National Gratitude Month...
But if you're like me, gratitude has felt temporarily delicious at times, but also overwhelming & chore-like. 😬
This happens to A LOTTA people who genuinely want to appreciate the good stuff in their lives, not overly focus on the negatives, keep their perspective in check...
Somehow something as simple as a FEELING can get super complicated.
So this week — get ready there's a terrible cliche rhyme coming!! 😱— we're gonna DE-PLATITUDE GRATITUDE.
It's the only way to bypass the BS and get you actually experiencing the benefits you want from this legitimately life-changing practice.
And we do that by letting you have an EXPERIENCE of gratitude, instead of talking about how it works, how good it feels and how you should do it.
Tune in for a step-by-step walk-through of gratitude — and bookmark this episode so you can do this over & over!
Happy Holidays! ...Or ARE they, though...😱
Obviously I want you to feel in charge of your choices 365 days a year, but this particular season is one where it can feel particularly challenging to make powerful, authentic decisions. So can any season with charged importance, right? Weddings...summer break...take your pick!
So let's make it easy to make choices you love, no matter how important this time of year is coming up (no matter when you're listening)!
Listen in for the top 3 problems that lead peole to make decisions they don't feel super in charge of (and often feel bitter about later)...and my 3 PRO TIPS to solve for them.
Plus, you'll get all of Kenny's and my most personal examples of how we keep making decisions based on what WE want (Wedding, Thanksgiving, Christmas...check!) 🎄
If you're facing any of these challenges right now (or you anticipate you WILL soon enough)...this episode is a must-listen:
- Obligation, tradition or just an overwhelming plethora of options are making decisions impossible
- You're angsting 24/7 about how your choice might disappoint or upset people
- It feels like you're facing nothing but crappy compromises where you can't really get what you want, no matter what
I promise - I've been there, I get it, and you do NOT have to keep feeling this way.
Let's make this year the LAST year you don't feel 100% in charge of (and in love with) your choices!
More links:
- Register FREE for the 3-Day December Decide-a-thon! Bring all your confusion & overwhelm - Leave with decisions made: https://www.kirstenparker.com/decide-a-thon
- Check out the Decision Masters Program, where you'll get crystal clear on what you want & take charge of your choics for good: https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp
Oooo we're in for a treat today, friend! 🎉
Coach Sara Fisk is in the house and she's here to make not people pleasing a doable, easy, best-gift-to-yourself-ever thing.
Listen in as we geek out on:
- How to say no to people (even if you love them!) and live to tell the tale
- What it feels like to stop defaulting to doing things the hardest way possible
- Why you should spend more time on the question "What do I really want?"
- How "people pleasing" isn't an entirely terrible thing (great news! you don't have to try to stop forever!)
- What the BRAVEST thing you can do really is
About Sara Bybee Fisk:
Sara Bybee Fisk is a Master Certified Coach and Instructor who teaches women how to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from their lives. She is an anxious optimist and born again feminist who listens to more books than she actually sits down to read. She loves a good hike, good dark chocolate and good conversations. Her big dreams include learning to sail and to sing and dance like JLo and helping thousands of women create the big, juicy lives they want to be living. She is a wife and mom of 5 and she enjoys those roles most of the time.
More links!
- Sara Fisk's Website: https://www.sarafisk.coach
- Follow Sara on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach
- Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching
- Listen to Sara's & my mutual coach Maggie Reyes' interview on the Decision Masters Podcast: Episode 21 "How We "Type A" Women can Thrive in Our Marriages": https://kirstenparker.com/21
- Get on the waitlist for the Decision Masters Program: https://kirstenparker.com/dmp
Happy Halloween Week! 🎃
Halloween is a super meaningful holiday in my family, so meaning is on my mind.
This week, I invite you to focus on just how POWERFUL you are when it comes to choosing what's meaningful in your life!
Here's what we get into:
- 2:30 - How your brain processes the world through stories and what this means for how powerful you are
- 5:00 - Why Halloween is a big ass deal for the Parkers ;)
- 8:30 - The 2 key things that happen when you think ahead to what you WANT to be meaningful
- 12:30 - Working through Challenge #1: People don't agree with us on what's important!
- 16:00 - Working through Challenge #2: We don't prioritize or experience the meaningful thing exactly how we wished
Want to know the #1 thing you need to kickstart your momentum? Take the Momentum Quiz! www.kirstenparker.com/quiz
Enjoy!
At a business retreat in beautiful Jackson Hole, WY last week, I realized I've done some "mis-hires" lately!
I was there to work with my new business coach, alongside 20 other female entrepreneurs (so fun).
And getting such specific help, to provide specific solutions in my business, revealed the help I wasn't getting before.
The emotional guidance, the business strategy, the likeminded community...it turns out, I was actually relying on my poor sweet husband for a lotta that stuff...😬
And while we genuinely enjoy talking about our work with each other, he is not the best person for THAT job.
This prompted me to consider...what else might I be hiring out in less-than-optimal ways?
I encourage you to ask the same question. And to make it easy, think about it this way:
Am I getting everything I need?
The thing is, Kenny is amazing at listening, giving thoughtful feedback & being generally enthusiastic about my business (he's the best!)
But his amazingness notwithstanding - I wasn't getting everything I need from him, when it comes to professional guidance & human connection.
And that's ok.
It's not a knock on him. And it's not even a failure on my part.
It's just really good DATA to have, that I'm using to make GREAT DECISIONS going forward.
So take this question and run with it. Are you getting everything you need: in the emotional, physical, professional, financial, joyful arenas of your life?
Check in, if you've subconsciously hired a friend to be your therapist...or a mentor to be your life coach!
I promise: When you start identifying the help you really need, and start hiring the BEST people for those jobs, your relationships AND your success will thrive!
MORE LINKS:
- Enrollment CLOSES for the Decision Masters Program this Friday 10/28: Book your free consult now to get daily support through February 2023!: https://www.kirstenparker.com/schedule
If you want to make decisions without drama — and be confident enough in them that you don't self-sabotage or second-guess...this is the episode for you.
Let's break down what EXACTLY makes me (and my clients!) good at decisions.
Notice what YOU'RE aready good at, and what would make a difference in your own decision making!
P.S. Make sure to check out the Decision Masters Program, because that's exactly where you'll turn these skills into habits. With accountability & guidance, we make it easy!
👉https://kirstenparker.com/dmp👈
In this episode:
- Find out what each of these 5 habits means, and how to use them to influence your OWN decision making:
- I value my time.
- I plan to fail.
- I decided in advance what matters to me.
- I am unavailable for self-shaming.
- I have support.
MORE LINKS:
- The Decision Masters Program (enrolling now for November 2022!): https://kirstenparker.com/dmp
- The Clarity Workshop (self-paced on-demand goodness!): https://kirstenparker.com/clarity
Head's up: You need a Logline!
Why? 'Cause whether you're selling a service, product or project...looking for your next career move...or even inviting someone to attend your event or read your blog post — guess what: you're PITCHING!
Which just happens to be the Zone of Genius of this week's interviewee: Laura Brennan, the Pitch & Development Consultant 🙌
In this interview, Laura tells you what a LOGLINE is (and how powerful it can be!):
- It's your "True North"...How you keep moving in the direction you want
- Your Decision Lens...What helps you say aligned Yes'es and No's
- And it's how you communicate who you are & what you're offering clearly to everyone else!
Bottom line: If you want to make your own decisions easier, and help the right people get jazzed about what you're up to, you need a Logline.
Laura tells you exactly how to create one and how to use it to make clear decisions — in your business, networking, and even pursuit of answers!
She also wants to change the world's mind about the icky awkwardness of networking.
"Networking and sharing what you're up to...That's how we have great lives!" (She gives you a brand new way of thinking about this so it's something you actually look forward to - YES)
Plus, the 3 Interviewee Questions!
1. How has coaching helped you? You follow me along with other coaches, you've done my paid and free workshops, you have your own coach...How do you get value from it?
One of the things I found early on with you is that, you have a way of looking at coaching and thought work that was a little different from the way my brain worked — and I loved that. It gave me a new lens, a new way of looking at things.
One of the things you said that blew my mind was: You can make a decision, and then practice making those decisions in a low-stakes environment. You can practice being the person you want to be in "low stakes"...so that when the stakes are high, it's there — You don't have to reach for it.
And I was like, "Hold the phone, what! You can just practice this!?" That gave me so much clarity. Because it allowed me to not have to think about high stakes. It allowed me to just look for the possibility of showing up the way I wanted to show up, in low stakes environments.
2. What kind of decision maker do you consider yourself to be?
Oh, I'm a pretty good decision maker...I tend to make decisions out of who I want to be in the world.
[Laura also shares a personal story here, about a big life choice her family made when her mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and how this reflects her opinion of her own deicision making!]
3. What's the most self-honoring decision from this week you want to share with us?
Listen in for Laura's vulnerable & inspiring answer involving — what else — her Clown Class!
ENJOY!
Ready to end overthinking & make fast, easy, clean decisions ever day? The Decision Masters Program starts Nov 1, 2022! Book your free consult now: https://kirstenparker.com/schedule
MORE LINKS:
- Laura Brennan: Pitch & Development Consultant: https://PitchingPerfectly.com
- The Decision Masters Program (enrolling now for November 2022!): https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp
- The Clarity Workshop (on-demand self-paced workshop!): https://www.kirstenparker.com/clarity
YOU GUYS, Life Coach & Marriage Mentor Maggie Reyes is in the Podcast House today, whaaaat!?
Refill your coffee & get ready to talk about:
- How Core Values for your marriage are a real thing
- What "open-heartedness" is (hint: you wanna know!)
- How to use Values to simplify decisions you make separately AND together
- The life-changing mindset of SOLUTION-focus (read: opposite of problems-only-pov)
- Two different ways coaching can help you answer BIG STRESSFUL QUESTIONS
Did we basically fit 5 entire episodes' worth a' JUICE into a single interview? YES.
Besides those bullet points, we get into why Type A smarty pants people like us have difficulty with things being EASY. (Ever start a fight out of nowhere for no reason...? Listen up.)
We dig into a Core Value of mine that I talk about all the time - Happy Open-Hearted Marriage - and she explains exactly what "open-heartedness" is:
- Why marriage research says we should care about it
- How you can use awareness of how "open" you are (or not) as a tool for decision making (woot!)
And you know we couldn't not talk about our collective bad habit of All or Nothing Thinking:
- We're either on the same team or we're disagreeing
- We're either connected or I'm upset about something
- But wait...turns out BOTH things can be true at the same time!
And she shares the quote that SHOOK ME when she offered it to me in one of our group coaching sessions earlier this year.
ENJOY!
Ready to stop living in Overthinking agony? Let's make every decision EASIER.
The Decision Masters Program starts NOV 1 - Book your free consult now!
MORE LINKS:
- https://maggiereyes.com/
- The Marriage Life Coach Podcast: https://maggiereyes.com/podcast/
- SOUL-Centered Communication episode from Maggie's podcast: https://maggiereyes.com/podcast/39/
- https://www.instagram.com/themaggiereyes/
- The Decision Masters Program (enrolling now for November 2022!): https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp
- The Clarity Workshop: https://www.kirstenparker.com/clarity
Feeling pressure about big QUESTIONS?...Doing it ALL?...Choosing RIGHT...? This interview is for you!
If you've ever been curious about what coaching helps people with, my client & friend Nina's answer is a brilliant summary: "I stopped worrying about all the things I'm not doing, and I just kept doing the next, best thing."
That mentality (GOLD!) is what allowed her to take the insane pressure off herself to know - and do - ALL the things, and STILL set her life up in an intentional way, so she gets to do work AND art that she enjoys AND parent (etc...) on her terms!
In this conversation, you get to hear:
- How challenging it was to not know what was next, and how coaching helped!
- "The major thing that coaching helped me with is taking the pressure off. When you feel like it's these BIG life decisions, and ohmygosh I need to figure out my ENTIRE next chapter...How am I supposed to move forward in that headspace? It's so much pressure."
- What it looked like (literally) to take "one step at a time" on the way from I don't know all the way to a new career (which, ps, she never could have imagined at the beginning of her search!)
- How letting go of the idea that "things need to be linear" made everything easier (even though it's a HARRRD paradigm to unlearn)
Nina's favorite tools from coaching?
- Taking action from alignment 🏃♀️🧭👌 — Literally being ok not knowing the exact results a decision will yield in your life, but being confident in that decision because you can trust you're in alignmentwith what you value, what you want & how you want to feel!
- Celebrating WINS 🥳🙌🍾 — YEARS ago, I shared a practice of regularly recording (and celebrating) wins & successes at the end of every month...and Nina's been doing it ever since! She shares how this is a huge antidote to the What even happened this week / month / year and Surely I'm not being productive enough problems!👌
- There is no such thing as a "wrong decision" 🤯🤯🤯
Plus: The 3 Interviewee Questions!
1. What would you say to someone considering getting coaching?
Well, the fact that you know about coaching, and that it exists, means this is a thing that you've looked into and are thinking about...I would say: do it. Do it! Because you're the type of person who would do coaching.
2. What kind of decision maker would you call yourself today? Ok, I used to be really indecisive. That's like, Past Self, "used to be." And I feel pretty proud of myself that, now, I'm a clearer decsion maker.
I'm not someone who's like, "Oh, I know right away." But I am someone who's done enough of the work, and has enough of the tools, that I can say, "Oh I know what I can do to be clear and feel good about the next decision."
3. What's the most self-honoring decision you've made in the last week, that you want to share with us?
Listen to Nina's PURE GOLD answer, which she prefaces with "...this is gonna sound so stupid." I swear: the little things ARE the big things.
When your decision making is more authentic & self-honoring in the SMALL (..."stupid"...) stuff, you're 500x more likely to be inclined to authentic decisions when it comes to the the BIG stuff.
Nina Harada is a writer, artist, parent, fellow podcast host, and digital editor at LA Parent Magazine. She wears a lot of hats, both in life and in work, and she's realized that's where she thrives. (She's also a Gemini, if that explains anything).
Nina's coaching story summed up:
"When I first sought out coaching, those multiple hats were confusing to me. I wanted all the things and at the same time thought I didn't know what I wanted. But one of the many takeaways from coaching is realizing there's time for it all. If it's meant for me, it will be. This eased my anxiety. Now I'm not worried about all the things I'm not doing — I'm focused on what I am doing and just keep doing the next best thing."
More links:
- https://www.ninaharada.com
- Follow on Instagram @ninaharada (for life, adventures & California-specific adventures)
- Follow on Instagram @ninaharadaart (to see her oil painting, watercolors, collage & affirmation decks)
- L.A. Parent Podcast: Real Parents, Real Conversations
- The Decision Masters Program (enrolling now for October 2022!): https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp
Ever get scared things are going TOO well for comfort?
Want an insider's look at how coaching really works?
This episode's for you!
In Part 2 of my conversation with client & friend Ariell Ilunga (Part 1 was Ep 18), we "clean out a cobweb" happening in her mind: This thought that "Something terrible has got to happen to balance the scales. You can't be happy for very long."
We give her space to explore what she's thinking & feeling honestly — no judging / avoiding / rushing away (how we do, in coaching 😉)...and we explore what she wants to do with that. How does she want to use it for her growth, how can she engage with it on purpose, going forward. De-lish!
Highlights:
- "I feel like I'm watching it unfold now, as opposed to actively pushing things around to make it happen. Which is really...gratifying and grounding, but also trippy at the same time, and weird and scary."
- "I visualize a lot...and at some point, there's gonna be this window where I have everything I want. I have my family, this amazing partner, these beautiful children, we're in our home that we bought...never thought that was gonna happen...and I have my store. And I'm standing there, and have all of it: everything I could possibly want."
- And then this fear comes up: "Something terrible's GOT to happen to balance the scales. You can't be happy for very long."
- Our coaching goes into the human tendency to Upper Limit our own happiness and we end up asking the question "What if you had such a wide window of tolerance for emotion that you could handle having everything you wanted, to the point that you didn't have to escape that feeling and rush off into your next To Do List?"
- And Ariell OWNS that she's already consciously changed her relationship with fear (she no longer tries to avoid it or shut it down immediately)...and she can exercise that SAME SKILL with other emotions, like joy, contentment, gratitude...YES!
- "What's dangerous about this? What will it cost me to let myself fully enjoy this moment?"
- We also craft Ariell's next Vision (the self-concept she's building on purpose): "I'm a person who isn't afraid of Joy. I know I'm capable of letting all of it in." SO GOOD 🤩
This interview was so jam-packed I HAD to make it a two-parter...buckle up!
In this episode, my client Ariell gets totally honest about:
- What it took to go from "leaving this job doesn't even feel like an option" to "It's now or never: I'm going to start my own business"
- The many layers of FEAR involved along every step of the way (leaving her job, becoming an entrepreneur, even walking away from an investor/partner and a big pile of money after a year of negotiations!)
- How it feels to be living her truth
"I'm not forecasting, and I'm not living in the past, and I'm living true to myself for the first time ever."
Plus: The 3 Interviewee Questions!
- What would you say to someone considering getting coaching?
Short answer: Do it.
Even if you have no goals, you're still gonna have to be a human. Your fears will still show up, indecisiveness, cloudiness...joy, abundance, all of these things are still gonna show up.
I think the best part about having worked with you and continuing to work with you is: Having tools to manage all of that. For me...I didn't know I could ask my Fear a question, a year ago. I didn't know I could talk with my Fear.
You're still a human, and you're gonna have a lot of feelings. They're not going away — that's not the goal. This whole stupidness around "Don't make an emotional decision"...ALL decisions are emotional! And the problem is, we don't know how to process our feelings, and turn them into powerful tools to make decisions.
2. What kind of decision maker would you call yourself today?
Clear. Grounded. Tethered, in a good way, to something.
You know Tetherball? That pole? I have that. If you root it to something, you can sway the course of your life. I don't think I'm a perfect decision maker, whatever that is, but I have this root thing I can keep coming back to, that helps me stay rooted & grounded.
3. What's the most self-honoring decision you've made in the last week, that you want to share with us?
Ariell's multi-point answer includes celebrations about parenting, boundaries, money choices, vacation, a margarita and a well-deserved lounge chair nap - SO GOOD!!
Ariell Ilunga is the Founder and CEO of Carla's Fresh Market, a reimagined neighborhood grocery store. They'll be opening their first brick & mortar in early 2023 and are currently selling elevated pantry staples online at Also have a Pop-Up Pantry that pops up all over Los Angeles, selling curated pantry items.
More links:
- Carla's Fresh Market Online Store: https://www.carlasfreshmarket.com/
- Find out where the next Live Pop-Up Pantry will be in Los Angeles: https://www.carlasfreshmarket.com/pop-up-pantry
- Follow on Instagram @carlasfreshmarket
- The Decision Masters Program (enrolling now for October 2022!): https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp
Meet Decision Masters Program member Kirsten Parker! (Nope, we literally never get tired of that 😅)
KJP shares extraordinary wisdom & personal stories in this interview! Including:
- How she stopped overthinking the decision to start her own business and leave her job of 22 years 🙌
- That the "biggest helpful change through the program" was changing the habit of getting stuck in other people's opinions, ideas & judgments 🧘♀️
- Why it's vital to update your goals & values rather than stay stuck in your old definition of "success"
- What making a Clean Decision feels like (and why her decisions don't feel muddy & never-ending anymore!) 🦸♀️
- And how, despite our enthusiasm for getting Gold Stars with all our decisions, it's the ultimate gift to embrace surprises and not judge them as completely good/bad in the moment
Here are just SOME of the highlights:
How she made the MILLION decisions involved in changing careers efficiently with the help of the DMP...
[2:50] "I mean, there's like a million decisions...So that's all buzzing through my head. I'm scrolling through your site and it's like, 'Would you like to make decisions more efficiently?' And I was like, 'Oh, Uh, oh, this is for me.'"
[6:47] "Being able to hear myself more clearly was so critical. It was so important. And what that means to me is not just, you know, write down my priorities and goals — but hear what I want in my heart, more clearly.
And it takes some practice to be able to do that, and some tools, because the outside voices are very loud. There's a lot of people outside of me who have opinions and preferences and would be highly inconvenienced by this impending decision. And I felt very paralyzed by that."
Our decisions and other people...
[7:45] "I had that sense of responsibility toward everybody else, but I didn't have that sense of responsibility toward myself, and my purpose, and my life...I think I really needed to marinate in that, but not get STUCK there."
But how can you care about the people you care about AND want them to think you're making good decisions...at the same time that you prioritize YOURSELF and make decisions YOU think are right?
Kirsten explains how this worked for her, and how it wasn't the "drastic 180" you might think!
[13:40]"By making decisions that felt true to me, and then telling people about it — that in & of itself inspired people!"
Choosing not to be a "Talk-it-Out Person" anymore...
[15:30] She successfully ended the "perpetual feedback loop" (when you think about deciding something, ask for people's opinions on it,and simply REPEAT).
[17:20] KJP explains how she went from a self-proclaimed "Talk-it-Out Person" who didn't know what she thought or felt about something until she got others' feedback on it...to someone who KNOWS what she thinks, KNOWS what she feels, and can just DECIDE and go!
"I don't need to run it by everybody else first!"
What really happens when you set a goal then "change your mind"...
[21:50] "The reality is: life happens, and things change! And YOU change as a result. And because you change, it is totally acceptable to have different goals, and different values...And not just 'acceptable' but NORMAL...It'd be so weird if you had the exact same values and motivations as when you were 20!"
[23:00] "It was so freeing - SO FREEING - to say, 'Yes, that's what I wanted then, and that was ok. And here's what I want now, and that's ok. And in the future, there's gonna be something else that I want, and that's ok too!"
[24:00] The exact tool that helped her NOT beat herself up for changing her mind or giving up on things she'd invested so much time, money, ETC into...(Hint: it's Compassionate Self-Forgiveness)
How emotions about losing her first husband to ALS showed up in her decision to leave her job...
[28:15] "Surprises" are impossible to judge as "good or bad" in the moment.
[31:40] The importance of being able to process ALL of that emotion in order to make CLEAN decisions about her career.
Clean vs. Muddy Decisions...
[34:40] In the past, decisions felt very muddy & "I never felt like they were over."
"Now, being able to make these CLEAN decisions so I know these are my values, this is where I'm headed, this is what I want...I can handle other people's opinions in a way that's sensitive & thoughtful...It's very clean and easy [to make a decision]. And it's very clean & easy to change your mind and decide to do something else. And it's because I'm a Decision Master!"
Plus: The 3 Interviewee Questions!
- What would you say to someone considering the DMP but not sure if coaching's right for them...?
When I joined, I thought "Ok, I'm gonna get these tools, I'm gonna be able to apply these tools, and move forward and make good decisions." Which happened, YES.
But, the magic was those group sessions. Where you would coach, and I would hear you coach someone else on a decision challenge they were having, and I would hear exactly what I needed to hear in that moment for the thing in my life.
And that's a secret magic sauce that you can't get anywhere else. It's so powerful to go through that experience with others. It really magnifies the ability for you to make progress.
SO if you're a person who's considering meeting with Kirsten, spend that time! Take an hour...that coaching really helped. It helped me see who I am, and maybe some of the kind of "practical pitfalls" I was having in the past, and how I might move forward.
And it's been life-changing.
2. What kind of decision maker do you consider yourself to be?
Calm, confident, enlightened, clean.
3. What's the most self-honoring decision you've made in the last week, that you want to share with us?
Tune in for KJP's answer about not overthinking her family's upcoming vacation — so good!
Kirsten Parker:
As a professional executive communications coach and adviser, Kirsten Parker helps corporate leaders increase their impact by becoming better, more influential communicators. She's worked with more than fifty C-level execs of Fortune 500 companies, and now helps consulting and IT executives one-on-one to become more impactful and influential communicators. Kirsten's clients achieve increased visibility and recognition at work and generate a legacy of impact for years to come.
More links:
- Kirsten Parker Coaching & Consulting: https://kirstenjparker.com/
- Kirsten Parker on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kirstenjparker/
- Decision Masters Program: https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp
- Enneagram Personality Assessment: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/rheti
- The Compassionate Self-Forgiveness Process (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uh82Tqm36j8) by Dr.s Ron & Mary Hulnick (https://www.ronandmaryhulnick.com/)
FEAR gets in the way of...what...99% of our decisions?
But really, it's uninvestigated fear that's the problem.
If we're being honest, fear itself is a super useful, necessary part of life that we don't WANNA get rid of!
But we DO wanna stop making decisions out of habitual, default, auto-pilot reaction to fear.
(That's, of course, how we end up NOT going for that big scary thing we want...NOT doing the thing we know will grow us...NOT getting out of the situation we know is no longer aligned -- No thankee.)
Ready to become FLUENT in your fears, so you can trust every choice you make? 👉Get the deets on the DMP: Enrollment opens soon!👈
https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp
In this episode, we talk about:
- The biggest misunderstanding we have about needing to "conquer" fear
- Why it's so dang important to name what you're afraid of specifically
- What I suggest you STOP doing immediately in response to your fear (hint: judging, invalidating & "logic-ing" against it)
- The 4 Fear Questions that will change the way you interact with fear for LIFE - so you can make your way to a confident, clear decision that serves you every time nerves, worries & concerns come up!
Enjoy!
MORE LINKS:
- Find out how the Decision Masters Program will help you end overthinking & trust yourself!: https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp
After a particularly charged week (I describe in this episode how I just finished a weekend of "2 weddings and a funeral"...but really though...), I'm feeling rather raw, drained & also very PRESENT.
There were a lot of highs and lows over the last few days, and I knew that would be the case going into it. What exactly that would look like, however, I couldn't plan.
And for a PLANNER...that's not always the funnest feeling! 😐
I had ideas about how I wanted things to go, and how I didn't, and beyond that, I was just kind of -- open to what was going to happen.
If you think about it, this is how we might ideally approach a LOT of our life plans -- from big happy events to emotionally heavy ones to the almost mundane, everyday scenarios that end up comprising so much of our overall lives.
Intentional and open.
Over this weekend's events, I found myself thinking often of a foundational concept we study in the Decision Masters Program: Putting surprises, failures & feelings into every plan.
It's a concept my clients master, and while it the result isn't "flawless, fearless humaning" (...not the goal!...) it DOES make an astounding impact on how you move through your daily life. From how you respond to problems, to how present you feel, to how yourself you are through all of it.
Ready to trust every choice you make? 👉Get the deets on the DMP: Enrollment opens soon!👈
https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp
In this episode, we talk about:
- The 3 components of a plan that truly set you up for success (yes, beyond meticulous troubleshooting, arranging & contract signing!)
- How "planning" on surprises, failures & feelings looks in real life, and what impact it has on your experience
- What mistakes to avoid when putting this concept into practice in your own life
Enjoy!
MORE LINKS:
- Find out how the Decision Masters Program will help you end overthinking & trust yourself!: https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp
Real-time, it's August...but somehow my brain wants to already start freakin' out about 2023!
If you have anxious anticipation about anything coming up - especially "making the most of the end of the year!" - this is the episode for you!
I share how doing a (super quick) Decision Audit for MYSELF led me to make a fun, powerful, easy decision to join my next Coaching Mastermind 🎉 and how you can use the same process to find out what decisions YOU might wanna make next!
Ready to trust every choice you make? 👉Get the deets on the DMP: Enrollment opens soon!👈
https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp
In this episode, we talk about:
- How that anxious anticipation feeling doesn't have to be a straight-up distracting exhaustion-fest! (Truly, I used that feeling as a cue to examine my choices, and it helped.)
- How to do an "audit" without judgment (it's not only possible...it's necessary! 😉)
- How you can use this practice to feel empowered, self-directed, and - YES - great about the end of the year 🥂
Enjoy!
MORE LINKS:
- Find out how the Decision Masters Program will help you end overthinking & trust yourself!: https://www.kirstenparker.com/dmp
- The Marriage Life Coach Podcast Ep #85 – Managing Money in your Marriage with Debbie Sassen: https://maggiereyes.com/podcast/85/
"Who am I, what do I want, where do I wanna go next?"
These are the questions that kept me STUCK for y-ee-ee-eears, and not just when I was unclear about my career path.
When you don't know how to simply & confidently answer these questions, ANY decision can overwhelm you. 'Cause how do you know the "right, best choice" to make (...for your next job OR for your next lunch date...) if you aren't clear on what you really want?
What we explore in this episode is how to answer that question - TODAY. Like, right now.
Yup, no matter how many unknowns there are in the mix!
Get your FREE Decision Anchor Template to make your Vision, Goals & Values official! Get it at https://www.kirstenparker.com/13
In this episode, we talk about:
- How being clear on your VISION for "who you want to be" is like deciding the genre of the movie you wanna live in for the next 6 months. Superhero epic? Romance? Intellectual documentary??
- Why you don't need to ACHIEVE your Goals in order for them to serve their purpose in your life (whaaaat? I know.)
- How determining your Current Core Values will give you instant clarity (and what they have to do with the sexy Steadicam work my husband does 😅
- The difference it makes to walk into a room thinking of yourself as a CLEAR vs. "confused" person!
Enjoy!
MORE LINKS:
- Get the On-Demand Clarity Workshop: https://kirstenparker.com/clarity
Not knowing what you want, what to do, or even who you are is probably one of the worst feelings on the planet.
And when you're wrestling with "clarity questions," it kinda doesn't matter if they seem SUPER HUGE or annoyingly small...
'Cause the truth is, EVERY decision is harder when you walk around your life thinking I don't know.
I don't know can start to flavor everything you come into contact with -- like pickles. (And I hate pickles...😣)
In this episode, we talk about:
- Why you can trust yourself if you don't feel totally aligned with something in your life (EVEN if it looks good on paper or you've worked really hard for it)
- How having questions DOESN'T mean you don't know what you want
- The 3 things I did (that YOU may be doing too) that were super ineffective to solve my clarity problem...but really effective at creating more stress 😉
Want to know the #1 thing you need to kickstart your momentum?TAKE THE MOMENTUM QUIZ! 👉Get your Custom Action Plan to Kickstart your MOMENTUM!👈 https://www.kirstenparker.com/quiz
What even IS a decision? 🤔
Before you dismiss this as a silly question, I'd love for you to try answering it.
What are you doing when you "decide" something? What happens in that moment?
Turns out, this answer makes a big difference in how you treat your decisions!
My job is to help people hear themselves clearlyabout what they want, and set themselves upto TRUST what they decide to do about those dreams. (So I've thought a lot about this 😅)
Today, I'm sharing some KEY things Overthinkers like us need to know, so we can stop holding ourselves back from entertaining, let alone going after, our biggest dreams!
In this episode, you'll learn:
- A super specific (super POWERFUL) way to define decisions
- The vital step you might be skipping when you "set a goal"
- The permission you might be waiting for from yourself, in order to turn a Dream into a Goal
Want to know the #1 thing you need to kickstart your momentum? Take the MOMENTUM QUIZ! 👉Get your Custom Action Plan to Kickstart your MOMENTUM!👈www.kirstenparker.com/quiz
Enjoy!
Ok I admit it. I'm an efficiency enthusiast. 🤩
I love when things work well and no time's wasted. (You? SAMESIES??)
But I used to be addicted to productivity. Fixated on getting more done, faster...just for the sake of (...um...the same brainwashing we all got, not much more).
Today, my deep & passionate love for efficiency 😉 has a much calmer quality to it.
I love "saving time & energy" for the same reason my prone-to-hyper-productivity clients do: because we know how precious our resources really are. And we wanna be more selfish with them!
This is why the "E" of the SIMPLE Principles of Decisions stands for Efficiency.
Want the complete set of SIMPLE principles in Workbook Form? 👉Grab your Checklist here!👈 www.kirstenparker.com/checklist
In this episode, you'll learn:
- How to save time and energy on decisions that you didn't even know were costing you
- Why we're prone to hesitating and dragging decisions out (hint: Hollywood plays a big role in this..!)
- What happens when you change the habit of believing "decisions need to take a long time"
Enjoy!
You can feel confidently, powerfully decisive allllll day long 🤩 as long as you think you have OPTIONS.
So what happens when you inevitably find yourself stuck in a situation where you see NO options? 😐
...Or the options you do see are Crappy Version A and Crappy Version B? 🤔
You devour today's episode and restore your full sense of agency, of course!
The "L" in the 6 Principles of SIMPLE Decisions stands for Lots of Options. It warrants an entire episode because soooo many of us have built a habit to see zero options, at least in certain contexts.
While you may feel totally empowered and autonomous in your career...you may feel limited & stuck at home. Or vice versa! Or - you may be facing one of those decisions where you truly feel like you have no choice - that you HAVE TO do the thing.
Want the complete set of SIMPLE principles in Workbook Form? 👉Grab your Checklist here!👈 https://www.kirstenparker.com/checklist
In this episode, you'll learn:
- How it's possible to CHOOSE an option you're not JAZZED about (i.e. in hard, painful, human situations)
- Why feeling ownership over your choices is one of the most FREEING habits you can build
- A practical exercise that'll get you OUT of "All/Nothing Stuckness" and expand your thinking (in ANY scenario)
What to we REALLY want? Well, it depends on what level you look.
At the deepest level, we want to make powerful, authentic, self-honoring choices that help us BE who we wanna be.
But at the surface, we often simply want to make choices that help us avoid discomfort. Our default "wants" (aka our habitualized instincts, which we're not consciously choosing) can be to NOT rock the boat...to NOT make people upset...because that stuff's usually uncomfortable!
The problem arises when prioritizing our comfort means deprioritizing who we want to be.
When that starts happening, it's time to get honest that all this "comfort" doesn't feel as good as we think! And it's time to start prioritizing YOU in your decisions (yup...MORE than other people).
In this episode, I share a story about a client deciding "It's more important for ME to be HAPPY with my decision than for other people to NOT to be UNHAPPY about it." - Pure gold!
This is the "P" of the 6 Principles of SIMPLE Decision Making: Prioritize You.
Want the complete set of SIMPLE principles in Workbook Form? 👉Grab your Overthinker's Checklist here!👈 https://www.kirstenparker.com/checklist
In this episode, you'll learn:
- How incredibly normal it is for smart, self-aware people to have this pesky habit of prioritizing others' over themselves
- The difference between "prioritizing yourself" and "being selfish" (spoiler: not the same)
- TWO incredibly doable options for making a clear, powerful decision that BOTH start with the question "What do I want?"
Enjoy!
Who else's brain gets hung up on Step 36 when you're on Step 2! 🙋♀️
Today we're talkin' about what used to be my #1 Problem and how I got outta that habit for good.
Stressing about NON-Makeable Decisions used to keep me from seeing any option in front of me. 😣
It made decisions seem impossible, super high stakes, and better to just put off 'til "I had more answers"...which turns out is only a really good plan for making things take way more TIME than they need to.
Listen in if you wanna get outta this habit too - and start taking real STEPS FORWARD (even if you have no idea where you're going 20 steps from now!)
Want the complete set of SIMPLE principles in Workbook Form? Grab your Overthinker's Checklist here! https://www.kirstenparker.com/checklist
In this episode, you'll learn:
- The well-intentioned origin story of this frustrating-as-heck habit (which is the key to stop judging yourself for it)
- The difference between Being thoughtful & responsibly troubleshooting and Angsting over unanswerable questions
- The two scary things you need to get good at to start making Makeable Decisions only: 1) Accepting uncertainty and 2) Trusting yourself
Enjoy!
"Intentional decision making" is all well & good, but what if you're STRESSED and you have a decision to make?
Our tendency, as super-hard-on-ourselves semi-perfectionists, can be to push through the stress or collapse into it completely. And neither scenario sets us up for our most powerful, authentic thinking.
Learning how to make decisions that serve me AND be a human person who experiences stress has been one of the surprising challenges of my life, but the great news is...if an overthinker like ME can do it, anybody can.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- How "intentional energy" can be accessible without becoming a robot in total control of yourself 24/7
- 2 MEGA effective strategies to deal with stress if you have a decision to make
- Plus the slightly hilarious story of my surprise engagement ;)
Want to know the #1 thing you need to kickstart your momentum? Take the Momentum Quiz!
https://www.kirstenparker.com/quiz
Enjoy!
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
- Kelly McGonigal: The Upside of Stress: https://amzn.to/3tWp5AD
Have you ever had a decision to make (big OR small) that your brain refuses to concentrate on?
You start out thinking about this wedding invite you just got, and all of a sudden every unknown about the year ahead seems urgent, and you find yourself trying to make all 1900 decisions at once. Or you start with next week's presentation, and ten minutes later, you have 7 tabs open as you simultaneously build a PowerPoint AND Google alternative careers.
Trying to decide ALL THE THINGS (aka Snowball Thinking and/or Pinball Thinking) is a way we Overthinkers mega-frustrate ourselves. Not only does it perpetuate the story that "We can't focus," but this habit also creates huge DELAYS in decision making as it DRAINS your precious energy.
The "S" of our Principles of SIMPLE Decisions stands for Singular.
Want the complete set of SIMPLE principles in Workbook Form? Go to www.kirstenparker.com/checklist now!
In this episode, you'll learn:
- Why this usually frustrating habit actually makes human sense
- How to be nicer to yourself as you change this habit
- How building the habit of finding the MVP (Most Valuable Problem to solve first) will get you out of perpetual Snowball Mode and clearer on the next best step every time!
Enjoy!
Do you love a LIST as much as I do? Then YAY this episode is going to light you up. To solve overthinking, we have to make it SIMPLE. Otherwise, it's too big and vague a problem, which makes it impossible to solve.
So to SIMPLIFY your decisions and make this a problem of the past, I'm offering you a handy dandy checklist: The 6 Principles of Simple Decisions.
Ready for the super helpful worksheet? Go to www.kirstenparker.com/checklist now!
In this episode, you'll learn:
- What the 6 Principles of Simple Decisions are (yes, they spell out the word SIMPLE, natch 😉)
- How to give yourself quick permission to stop overthinking and make everything EASIER (yes, right now)
- That these habits may sound big & frustrating but can change WAY FASTER than you think!
Enjoy!
The #1 problem I get asked to help solve is answering this question: "How do I know I'm making the right choice?"
This question can cause so much anxiety - and it can keep you from making a decision (or trusting it, if you do make one) for YEARS.
So we're answering the question once and for all, so the next time it comes up, you have a helpful answer. One that guides you to a decision you can trust!
Want a super handy roadmap for the journey? Go to www.kirstenparker.com/guide to grab The Ultimate Guide to Easy Decisions now!
In this episode, we'll explore:
- The most common way people gauge if a decision was "right" or not - and why it's super dangerous
- The unconventional way I suggest defining a "right decision"
- The unexpected (awesome) ripple effects this will have on ALL your decisions (and thus your entire life)
Enjoy!
The gap between Ideas, Decisions and Actions is where we Overthinkers tend to hang out and get stuck. Believe me, if this were a nice place to visit, I wouldn't have anything against it.
But in the gap, we're experience a ton of fear, which we're not addressing head-on, so the whole experience there is pretty stressful and unproductive.
Luckily, the more aware you are of when you're goin' into the gap, the faster you can change the habit of going into Overthinking by default, as soon a decision presents itself. Soon, you'll barely even go in the first place!
Want a visual & PDF to make all this crystal clear? Go to www.kirstenparker.com/2 for this episode's downloadable!
Here's what we cover in this episode:
- How not making decisions and implementing them quickly is draining your energy & causing unnecessary friction every day
- The 5 most common ways to know you're in the gap
- How to quickly & easily get outta the gap (aka how to stop overthinking and get to the next decision!)
Enjoy!
Becoming an EX-Overthinker sounds so lovely...But how do we fit that into our already jam-packed schedules?
The good news I want to offer you today (read: shout from the rooftops) is that you ALREADY possess the 3 Main Skills you need to feel total badassery when it comes to decision making.
So all we need to do from here is highlight how you're already GOOD at this stuff, then strengthen those skills on purpose. Your mastery will only grow from here!
And believe me when I say I've been there. Just like my big-brained, high-achieving clients who think "they shouldn't be so anxious or get in their own ways" so much - I know what it's like to feel like you're miles away from where you want to be.
From your energy (like, how grounded-to-frantic you feel on a daily basis)...to your mindset (i.e. how you tend to think about yourself, or what's possible)...to your life direction (which you may or may not feel totally purposeful in)!
But I promise, if I can become an Ex-Overthinker, and my clients can become Decision Masters, SO CAN YOU.
Want a super handy roadmap for the journey? Go to www.kirstenparker.com/guide to grab The Ultimate Guide to Easy Decisions now!
BEST NEWS: Over my personal journey into EX-Overthinker-dome, and through several years of coaching Overthinkers, I've got this nailed down to a science. In this episode, you'll learn:
- How possible it is to go from Overthinking on the daily to feeling calm, clear & in charge of your choices
- The 3 Main Skills that make it EASY to know what you want and cut through the noise of overthinking
- Exactly how to hone these skills, which you're likely already way stronger at than you think
Enjoy!
How do you know you're making the right decision? That's the exact question we'll answer on this podcast.
Hi, I'm Kirsten! I'm the Decision Coach for Overthinkers.
I've been coaching big-brained high-achievers for years, helping them stop living in fear of regret, option paralysis and the dreaded FOPO (fear of people's opinions!).
And now I'm here to help YOU get out of Overthinking agony and make every decision EASIER.
We'll use science-based, tried-and-tested tools to change lifelong habits, and you'll turn Calm, Clear & Confident into your new baseline.
When you make powerful decisions quickly, the results compound. Let's build your Decision Mastery so you can get to the good stuff!
Make sure to download your FREE Overthinker's Checklist: The Ultimate Guide to Simplify Decisions now: https://www.kirstenparker.com/checklist