poembutter: Recent Episodes
Loré Yessuff
Howdy!
In mid-Jan, I interviewed one of my favorite writers, Ross Gay, about his approach to artmaking. His philosophy on art & life is so wise and anti-capitalist. I specifically enjoyed his perspective on playing vs achieving. You can find the full interview on the Creative Independent website.
I’m still meditating on this conversation and feeling immense gratitude for the fact that it even occurred. My favorite part of the interview was the exchange of joy. I’ve attached a snippet of the audio, so you hear it for yourself.
Take care,
Loré
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit poembutter.substack.com
Hello there,
I hope you are ok as can be, eating comforting snacks, oiling your winter dryness, taking good care.
Recently, I’ve been feeling mad existential. Doubting everything, unbelieving and unfolding. Crying myself into circles. Warring with my body, slow to tend to the spirals my mind makes. I’m sure you know, I’m sure you do.
Luckily, there are companions in my life who guide me to love my body again, who kiss my forehead, gently check my bitchiness, text me funny things. I’m sad these days, but I’m lucky too.
Writing has been tough lately. Both the act and the idea. Tonight, a friend asked me why and I realized it just came down to not believing in myself.
I’ve started writing haikus every day (or every other) to remember the joy of writing and to have some f*g fun. Here are a few:
loaves on 2nd ave
a yeast communion
packs of abundance and time
hope its not a waste
nostalgia strawberry
that saccharine relic
surprised my toes and then smiled,
I almost walked past
vomit?
it looked like summer—
public display of regret
kissing the concrete
Take care,
Loré
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit poembutter.substack.com
I’m finally sharing my first audio diary/collage/full podcast episode/whatever u wanna call it. This one is about failure, contentment, and how “chasing the American dream” is a scam. Most of the recordings are from mid-September/early October, but I’m still hauling through the same feelings.
My audio editing skills are quite bad. I’m not being modest! The audio levels are wacky, the cuts are inconsistent. I was hoping to create some beautiful This American Life meets The Heart-esque s**t, but it’s going to take my current skillset a while to catch up to my vision. Thanks for your patience as I grow and thank you even more for being here. <3
music featured in the episode — Wrong I - h hunt
I’ll leave you with a quote from Ira Glass that everyone should read:
Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, and I really wish somebody had told this to me.
All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But it's like there is this gap. For the first couple years that you're making stuff, what you're making isn't so good. It’s not that great. It’s trying to be good, it has ambition to be good, but it’s not that good.
But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is good enough that you can tell that what you're making is kind of a disappointment to you. A lot of people never get past that phase. They quit.
Everybody I know who does interesting, creative work they went through years where they had really good taste and they could tell that what they were making wasn't as good as they wanted it to be. They knew it fell short. Everybody goes through that.
And if you are just starting out or if you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Do a huge volume of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week or every month you know you're going to finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you're going to catch up and close that gap. And the work you're making will be as good as your ambitions.
I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It takes awhile. It’s gonna take you a while. It’s normal to take a while. You just have to fight your way through that.
take care,
Loré
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit poembutter.substack.com
take care <3
P.S. - much gratitude to Kelleigh for helping me understand the art of letting go, may the same love & wisdom return back to you tenfold.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit poembutter.substack.com
this week I couldn’t afford therapy,
so i bought flowers instead
the florist calls their names
as if they are her children,
Bird of Paradise!
Eucalyptus!
Blazing Star!
and in this plant shop, i am
afforded an abundance antithetical to
the american dream,
which is to say, for a second,
it feels ok to stop striving,
which is to say, for a second,
everything my hands can hold,
flowers and fingerprints,
everything my hands can hold is enough
as tears decide a direction on my cheeks,
I cradle the flowers firmly,
prepare them to eat
the sun
take care,
Loré <3
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit poembutter.substack.com