Definitely Storytime: Recent Episodes
Jamie Kalmbach
New chapters every Monday and Thursday
Times are tough, and books are important. Who has time to read? And who has the cash to throw at audio books? Especially when you aren't sure you'll even like it?
Let me read to you, because it's Definitely Storytime. Your source for free, public domain audio books.
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We conclude our story with marriage. Or is it plural?
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We learn some particulars, follow some logical conclusions, though are left to our own as well, and next steps are begun.
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Mrs. Dashwood is now fully aware of Willoughby's own attempt at vindication, and they all three talk it out. Margaret is reunited with her family. Some news arrives from Exeter which leaves Elinor shocked in spite of her own careful reasoning. Wanting for more information, they all end up face to face with the person best suited to provide it. But then what?
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Separation from beloved friends means finally going home, and it also means yet another unhappy obligation for Elinor.
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We finish with the rest of Mr. Willoughby's excuses and laments. Mrs. Dashwood is finally delivered to Marianne and Elinor, and comes with news of her own.
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What is Mr. Willhoughby doing at Cleveland? We are about to find out, as well as to get some answers to the question "How could he?"
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Marianne is very ill. Some believe it will kill her, others are sure she will recover quickly and easily. Who is correct? And who is the final, surprise visitor?
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The company makes their way towards home. Marianne, being cavalier with her health and comfort, catches something.
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Elinor makes a dutiful visit to her brother's family. It goes about as well as can be expected despite the mildly unexpected communications.
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Elinor relates to Edward the generous offer from Col. Brandon. He seems to make an assumption or two of his own. The truth does out between Elinor and Mrs. Jennings, however. What do you think is her reaction?
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Misunderstandings abound. What news one understands to have occurred is false, and what tidings one brings with a belief in their being glad is also mistaken.
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More details are out about the state of Edward and Lucy's situation. Did you catch the lie?
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The secret is out. What are Elinor's feelings on confronting it openly with Marianne? How does Marianne take the news? How does she keep that confidence?
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A change of routine for the Dashwood sisters is not as welcome as some might think...
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More gloating from Lucy, and a rather uncomfortable encounter...
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We finally meet Mrs. Ferrars, whose good opinion on which so many rely. The evening ends in tears.
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As Miss Dashwood attempts to get Marianne and her life back to some level of normalcy, their social engagements must increase. Mr. John Dashwood has some interesting ideas about his sisters and their prospects.
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What is worse than bad news? Having everyone you know talk about it, or talk about how they are not going to talk about it, or knowing that you also have terrible news and cannot talk about it? Maybe.
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Grief and attempts at validation and catharsis progress and are undone. A source of some relief is offered, but while painful to receive, is worse to relate.
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The truth of the situation with Willoughby is known by Mrs. Jennings, and therefore all their acquaintance. Meanwhile Elinor's own heartache is kept hidden, though still painful.
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Willoughby is finally encountered. Something attempting an explanation is produced, but what truth is there to it?
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Where is Willoughby? Will Elinor finally get some easiness of mind about her sister?
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A journey, an arrival, and distracting expectations. Will Marianne finally see Willoughby again?
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Elinor seeks further information, and comes to painful conclusion. Multiple invitations are declined, but is one finally accepted?
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Elinor explores her feelings of the burdensome news. Is she sad? Outraged? Injured? Will she be able to be near Miss Lucy Steele with composure, or must she feign illness to avoid her?
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A more intimate knowledge of the Miss Steeles brings no pleasure to the Dashwoods. One is ridiculous, and the other...is something else...
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A goodbye to the Palmers offers no respite for the Dashwoods as more company arrives at Barton Park, and they are forced into company with them.
Note: the word "niggardly" appears in this chapter. It predates the n-word, and is not believed to be the basis of the n-word by people more knowledgeable than I on etymology. Read more here https://www.etymonline.com/word/niggard
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An attempt to gain some information from Mrs. Palmer about a mutual acquaintance is made. What could be learned of the absent Mr. Willoughby? And what news is circulating about Miss Marianne?
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Sad departure, and an...interesting...arrival.
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While the visit is short, it manages to be a bit of a roller coaster in terms of clearing up some issues while others remain obscure.
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Even more disappointments befall the Dashwoods. Confusion, concern, grief, and melancholy reign until the arrival of a visitor can sufficiently distract from pain, at least for some.
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A disappointing day can lead still be turned around, for good or ill. Wondering and postulations about Brandon's business abound, while seeming promises are on the horizon...
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Some few embarrassments occur, and some much anticipated outdoor fun is planned.
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An accident and a charming new acquaintance. Comparisons of suitors are made. Who is the better man?
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We meet more of the society of the neighborhood. How do the ladies like them?
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Farewells and greetings. What did John Dashwood do to fulfill his promise to his dying father? How do the Dashwood ladies like their new home and landlord/neighbors/extended family?
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Mrs. Dashwood and her daughters still reside at Norland, and a possible new attachment is formed. Still, the need to remove themselves becomes suddenly necessary, and a new residence is offered just in the right time to be accepted.
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Meet the Dashwoods. We enter the story with two deaths, and some interesting characters.
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The conclusion. Does Jane regret her choices?
We also have some information on the author, as well as the words regarding her novel as written by Charlotte Brontë.
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Once Mr. Rochester actually believes Jane is truly there with him, there are questions. What future is before them?
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Jane arrives at Ferndean. In what state will she find her beloved Mr. Rochester?
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Trigger warning: mental health crisis and detailed death.
Jane makes her trip to Thornfield. What awaits her there?
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Jane's resolve is tested. She hears a cry on the wind, or is it in her head? Will she follow it, or will she follow St John?
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A proposal. And a time limit given for her decision.
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The holidays bring a reunion. But the leisure and the company are not enough to stop Jane's heart and thoughts from turning towards her lost love.
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Quite a lot of discovery. Truly life-changing disclosures.
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Jane is settling into her new position tolerably. Her familiarity with others allows for a (shockingly?) frank and revealing conversation.
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Sadness, but not necessarily regret, meet Jane after the first day of her new job, though a new sight into St John offers some distraction.
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This sanctuary is given a time limit, but it also grants a new prospect for Jane's future...
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In what place has Jane found herself? What are her rescuers like? Will she be safe there?
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How much longer can Jane survive at this rate of starvation and exposed as she is to the elements? In what form might she find aid?
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Lost, alone, and destitute, what is to become of Jane Eyre?
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We come to the end of Mr. Rochester's version of events; his thoughts, his motivations. Was he justified? Were his intentions and desires acceptable excuses for his actions? Is Jane right in her decision? Was the voice she listened to good and correct, or malicious and harmful?
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TRIGGER WARNING: suicidal thoughts
What can be Mr. Rochester's tale? What can excuse his treachery? Can he be forgiven?
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Post wedding day confrontation. What can be said? What words exist to make the situation tenable?
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The wedding day is finally here; meet Mrs. Rochester!
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On the eve of marriage to her beloved, what can Jane so distressed?
Note on text: When articualting her thoughts on attaching the luggage labels, there is an abbreviation used be Jane: D.V. It stands for the lating term Deo volente, which translates to "God willing."
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What does Mrs. Fairfax's reaction mean? How will Jane answer to it?
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A new day. A new future on the horizon.
Disclosure: I don't love love the use of the term "Jew-usurer" on the surface, but here, with the previous name-drop of King Ahasuerus, it is clear that Jane is referring to Esther 7. For those curious; usury can be simplified as a very old term for interest in the financial sense. The addition of "Jew" by Brontë was more to do with the Old Testament reference than with any ill-intentioned racism. In this situation, Jane was aligning herself with Esther, not bashing Judaism.
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Change is coming for Jane. What does her future bring?
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Partings and reunion. Goodbyes are made, as is a homecoming.
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A final violence of Mrs. Reed's against Jane is revealed, and the Reeds living will be divided from each other it seems.
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What misery are the remaining Reeds.
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Jane takes a trip.
I want to specifically state that the n-word is not used in this chapter, but a word that sounds similar. That word is niggard, as in acting niggardly, which means to be stingy. It dates to the 14th century, and is not a slur.
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A strange night passed and stranger conversation. Where does one go from here?
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A scream in the night. What fresh nightmare is this?
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An interview with the seer. Is she what she seems? What magic does she wield? And what does the master of the house do upon his return?
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Whatever do the guests get up to when the master of the house is away? And who are the two strange newcomers?
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Games. It's all fun, unless it isn't.
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The party commences. We meet the guests, and see exactly how Mr. Rochester and Ms. Ingram get along.
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Some intrusive thoughts, it seems, are challenged, and new life and bustle come to Thornfield.
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What happens next? Save a life, and then what? Let's find out...
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A calamitous night. Does it end in catastrophe?
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The truth about Adele, and, as a byproduct, the truth about Mr. Rochester too. How will Jane take it?
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Some "pleasant" evening conversation.
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A proper introduction to the master of Thornfield, though no less strange and unconventional.
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A change. A moment of chaos in the mundane. But was it momentary? Is more change on the horizon?
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More new meetings, and a haunting laugh. Thornfield is both beautiful and dark. But what of its master?
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A new chapter and a new beginning. Much is learned, and yet so much is still unrevealed.
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A secret mission, a reunion, and the start of a new phase.
Note: You can hear that I am still not fully recovered from recent illness. I sincerely hope it is not too distracting. I apologize if it is.
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Beauty and loss.
Note: I am recovering from RSV, so my voice is a little off. I am not in pain, and didn't want to make you wait any longer for this chapter, so I hope you'll forgive the lingering roughness.
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Jane begins to feel at home.
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Mr. Brocklehurst comes to Lowood, much to Jane's dread.
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A new normal, and a new friend?
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Jane's first day of school.
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A journey and a strange new place.
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The conclusion of chapter four, wherein Jane experiences much change.
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Waiting, isolation, and a meeting with a stranger.
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Some change may be on the horizon.
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And the hits just keep on coming.
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Charlotte Brontë's much celebrated, and frequently adapted for film, book begins here.
Welcome to Jane Eyre's childhood.
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Here we conclude our story. How ends this tale for our characters?
Are you satisfied? Did it end how you expected? Who wins the misery competition?
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A cat and mouse game of pursuit bringing us to the end of Frankenstein's own narrative.
Part two contains the conclusion of the frame...and the finale of our tale.
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"I will be with you on your wedding-night!"
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What should be a day of happiness is yet fraught with a sense of evil foreboding. There are also fish.
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And then it got worse...
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A revocation, an escalation, and a murder.
What trouble has Frankenstein found this time?
And if his creation is a demon by Viktor's own accusation, what kind of devil does that make him?
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A stunningly visual travel chapter. Viktor and Henry are touring England, mainly, and end up in Scotland for the commencement of Viktor's next task.
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How will Viktor answer to his detested creation?
Do you agree with Frankenstein's choice?
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The Creature recounts his fall, and his crimes. And he makes a demand.
Will Viktor comply?
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Some literature is found, and helps form some thoughts, considerations, and resolutions within the creature.
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EPISODE WARNING: There are some racial terms used that are no longer considered appropriate. They were considered correct in the 1800s. There are also some racially and religiously insensitive concepts expressed, as well as some assessments that are no longer accurate, if they ever were.
We learn more about the creature, and his internal thoughts and processes, as well as learning about the lives and histories of the cottagers.
A new occupant is introduced, and their story told.
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More of the creature's tale. Who are his neighbors, and how does he see them?
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The creature's first days and months, and his introduction to the world and humanity.
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Frankenstein continues his vacation, and meets a surprise.
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Victor grieves, and then goes on a grief-driven journey in an attempt to make himself feel better, but is still grief-stricken.
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What will be the fate of poor, accused Justine? Will Frankenstein and his irresponsibility claim another victim?
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The return of the prodigal son. But what did he see en route?
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Denial and avoidance seem to be the themes here. Out of sight and out of mind, eh Vic?
I want to point the use of some terms that are no longer considered correct for regular use. You will likely know them when you hear them. Please understand that, at the time, they were not considered at all derogatory, and Shelley simply used them as the most correct word choice at the time. That should be apparent within context, as there was nothing being insulted when they were used, but I just wanted to make it known that certain terms have only become insulting relatively recently, and were not so when Shelley wrote them.
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It's Aalllliiiivvveee.
The poem in this chapter is credited via footnote to Coleridge's "Ancient Mariner."
Like one who, on a lonely road,/
Doth walk in fear and dread,/
And, having once turned round, walks on,/
And turns no more his head;/
Because he knows a frightful fiend/
Doth close behind him tread.
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In which Victor's disturbing obsession begins to bear its eventual hideous fruit.
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Some tragedy as Victor heads to school wherein he will learn all he needs to in order to make some terrible life choices.
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The early life of Victor Frankenstein as told by the man himself to his rescuer.
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Frankenstein is a framed narrative aka a story within a story. These letters from a brother to a sister set up the relating of the main story. These letters are the frame, and are meant to add an introduction to the tale proper.
Enjoy.
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This is what Mary Shelley herself wants you know.
Here lies the author's introduction to the story, with an explanation of how it came into existence, as well as her preface to this iconic tale.
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The conclusion of A Descent into the Maelström, as well as some select Poe poems for the season 4 finale.
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Our final Poe story for season 4.
If you have thalassophobia, you may want to skip this one.
Ever wondered what happens to things when they are pulled into a whirlpool?
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The conclusion. This answers the how. How did Dupin succeed where G— failed?
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A letter has been stolen from a most exalted person, one that she needs the other most exalted person to never discover. The thief is known and is blackmailing her, and yet the police have been unable to recover it. Discretion is as critical as repossession is paramount. But with the meticulous searches already rendered, what is there left for Dupin to do? Can he succeed where G— has failed?
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The conclusion to The Mystery of Marie Roget, and my post story immediate impressions.
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Determining what didn't happen, and postulating on subterfuge...
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There is a lot of science here...and not all of it is current.
Are you following Dupin's logic?
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What has occurred that has never occurred before?
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The sequel to The Murders in the Rue Morgue.
We are back with our narrator and his friend Dupin for yet another mysterious case of violence and death. Who is responsible? How will Dupin solve this puzzle?
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We come to the answers.
Had you worked out the solution?
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Where do the clues lead?
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The second installment of the first modern detective story.
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This is quite possibly the very first modern detective story. Meet the father of Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot as he solves the brutal murders of two women in an internally-locked apartment when witnesses cannot even agree on what they heard happen when the murders occurred.
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Live, Love, Go Mad.
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Let's not be left hanging...
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No one expects the Spanish Inquisition...
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Plague comes to the party to eat the rich, as they say...
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Is procrastination a perversity? I knew someone who called humans drinking cow milk a perversion, so I guess anything is possible.
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A prophecy...
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Strange tombs...
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So much falling...
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Can a place have its own atmosphere? Can there be a place that oppresses and diminishes the area and life?
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By Edgar Allen Poe
Our narrator has a curious obsession (or is it more apt to say an obsession with curiosity?), and a shipwreck.
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All by Edgar Allan Poe
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Pardon the delay, but I promise season 4 is coming...
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By Tom Godwin
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By Paul W. Fairman
Warning: Ableism.
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A short story by Frizt Leiber.
How does one gather a pail of air? And to what purpose? And what was that moving light in the darkness?
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Frederik Pohl's short story about, well, it's really a bit of a mystery isn't it?
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By Frederik Pohl
Listener discretion advised: tobacco use, homophobia.
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A short story by Ray Bradbury.
A cabal of suicidal elderly women kidnap the be-costumed, would-be flimflammer that sold them tickets on a rocketship to God, and take matters into their own hands. Do they meet their maker? Aliens? Or hallucinations?
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A sort of prequel to Welcome to the Monkey House.
Warning: topics include suicide, violence, guns.
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The end and the aftermath
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Murder and Terror
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A plan foiled, and more plans made.
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Plans, assaults, rage, regrets.
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Hard lessons for a newly invisible man.
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The invisible-ing is described.
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Warning: I censored three words out of this chapter.
Some explanations are given.
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Some respite, and a name.
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New people (one who calls everyone the short term for donkey), a firearm, and an altercation.
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An unhappy assistant and more crimes.
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A great ruckus is described.
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An accomplice.
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Warning: we are dealing with the kind of fellow who would kick a dog unprovoked.
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A robbery and haunted furniture!
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A dog attack and theories...
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The H.G. Wells classic, The Invisible Man, begins here. What do the residents of Iping have in store for them?
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This contains some information about the content in season three of Definitely Storytime. It's a ramble because I am a rambler. You may amused, or simply informed about what to expect. Give it a listen, or let season three content be a surprise.
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The final chapter. How does all this madness end?
Please keep listening after the episode for some bonus content.
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A discussion on changed ways. What will be the result?
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Is Dorian hallucinating?
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Is Dorian okay? Well, no, of course not, but we already knew that.
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Listener discretion is advised: violence, drugs.
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What kind of person can attend a dinner party after a forced body disposal?
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"Sur une gamme chromatique,/
Le sein de perles ruisselant,/
La Vénus de l'Adriatique/
Sort de l' eau son corps rose et blanc.//
Les dômes, sur l' azur des ondes/
Suivant la phrase au pur contour,/
S'enflent comme des gorges rondes/
Que soulève un soupir d'amour.//
L'esquif aborde et me dépose,/
Jetant son amarre au pilier,/
Devant une façade rose,/
Sur le marbre d' un escalier."
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Warning: Violence, gore. Some content not suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised.
A parting of ways.
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Dorian meets with an old friend.
Warning: Some content is not suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised.
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Content not suitable for all audiences, so viewer discretion is advised.
A long, drawn-out description of all that has occupied Dorian over the course of several years. Think of this a literary montage of years passing, but also very detailed. Do you like jewels? Tapestries? Well, this is your jam.
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The picture gets a new home. Is is really safe?
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A close call and a confession.
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Your friendly reminder that I do not endorse any of the opinions held by any of these characters.
Some shocking news. How will Dorian take it?
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Disclaimer: The values, views, and opinions held by the characters within are not shared by your humble narrator. Spoiler alert: we are not meant to like Dorian, so we should not like his beliefs.
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Disclaimer: Dorian Gray's opinions, are not my own. I do not support his repulsive views.
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Sybil Vane
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Disclaimer: The views and beliefs held and expressed within this book are not my own, nor do I condone the misogyny and antisemitism that is helping define Dorian Gray and friends' deeply disturbing personalities. Some content is difficult to read, and very likely difficult to hear. It will only worsen as Dorian Gray's picture grows more grotesque.
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A little party, and a lot of talking.
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Is a monster made, or discovered?
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This includes a preface by Oscar Wilde.
Enter the Lord, the artist, and the subject.
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The conclusion to the well-loved classic by Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol. There is an "about the author" after the story.
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The fourth installment of the Charles Dickens classic, A Christmas Carol. I think I only cry a little.
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I present A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, stave 3, for your listening pleasure...
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The second installment of Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol.
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'Tis the season to spread some holiday cheer, and bask in the sorrows and terrors of this heartless and miserly humbug while we drink our minty cocoa, decorate for Yuletide, and snuggle near a fire, thinking of the gifts we are eager to bestow. Or maybe that's just me. And if it is just me, all of this will be followed by a rewatching of several Doctor Who Christmas specials, including the one with Charles Dickens, at Christmas, surrounded by ghosts...
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And After
We come to our conclusion, and we get our final loose ends tied.
I sincerely hope that you all enjoyed the tale and the telling, and that you'll come back for our next tale...whatever it is!
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A Supper Party At The "Savoy"
A gathering...and some answers...
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Mr. Brown
What proofs are we to learn about the nefarious Mr. Brown? Let's find out...
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Jane's Story
We finally get to to learn of events directly from the elusive Jane Finn. While we do get quite a number of answers, there are, of course, more questions.
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Julius Takes a Hand
Julius and Little Willie get into some excitement. But to what end?
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A Race Against Time
Tommy makes his own recruit, and follows leads. Is this another dead-end?
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In Downing Street
What does Peel Edgerton know, and what exactly has Tommy worked out?
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Tommy Makes A Discovery
Well, he actually discovers several pieces of new information...
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Too Late
Rather an ominous title, is it not?
What has Jane Finn to say? Does she have the document?
Will we get any news of Tuppence?
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Jane Finn
Well well well, it seems we must now be worried about Tuppence.
But we now have some concrete news of Jane Finn!
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The Telegram
An incomplete reunion is had, but who is missing?
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Annette
Who is this Annette?
How is my French?
How in the world does Tommy get out of this mess to surprise Tuppence in chapter 15?
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Further Adventures of Tommy
What, exactly, has Tommy gotten up to all this time? We finally have some answers.
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Tuppence Receives A Proposal
How are they ever going to find Jane/Janet?
What is this proposal business?
Will we hear about Tommy?
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A Consultation
What about Dr. Hall? What information can he provide, and what will the team do with it?
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The Vigil
What will Rita tell the trio?
And can there be any news of Tommy?
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A Friend in Need
They may have a plan for dealing with Ready Rita, but has Rita got a plan for dealing with them?
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Julius Tells A Story
(WARNING: use of word "hell" in this chapter)
What account can Julius make of his whereabouts, and what plan will be made for the next steps?
Will we discover any news of Tommy?
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Enter Sir James Peel Edgerton
Who is he to Rita?
And what in tarnation is happening to Tommy?!
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Tuppence Enters Domestic Service
How well can Tuppence play a maid?
And what news of Tommy?!
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The Adventures of Tommy
What has Tommy gotten himself into? And how in the world will he get himself out? Or does he?
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The House In Soho
Can Tommy keep up the tail?
Where does the adventure take him?
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Plan Of Campaign
What clues have they got? Will they lead anywhere?
For this episode, and here on out, please consider the use of the word "ass" to be defined simply as "donkey." Thank you.
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What can we make of Mr. Julius P. Hersheimmer?
And what of that unremarkable Mr. Brown?
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Who is Jane Finn?
Well, listen in to find out...
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A set back.
What are the young adventurers to do when they have to sleuth in earnest?
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Who is Mr. Whittington?
What could he possibly want with Tuppence?
Will our heroine's wit be sharp enough to cut Mr. Whittington's ire?
Let's find out...
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The adventure begins.
Introducing Tommy and Tuppence, our plucky protagonists.
What perils could possibly await such a pair?
Let's find out...
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I am reading Agatha Christie's The Secret Adversary. Here lies the prologue. I hope you enjoy a good mystery...
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