Here's what I know about you: You're in a good relationship with a partner that you love, yet you spend most of your time feeling grumpy, frustrated, and out of control of your emotions. You overthink everything and always imagine the worst-case scenario. This leads to you bottling up your emotions in an attempt to make them go away, resulting in an explosion, completely disproportionate to the problem at hand. Welcome to The Grumpy Girlfriend Podcast. Here, we will cover everything you need to know in order to access that fun, care-free, and independent version of yourself you've always wanted to be. Hosted by Katrin Berndt, LCS Certified Life Coach.
We all want partners who love and respect us. But does that also mean that they should obey us?
In this week's episode, I talk about love and respect vs. obedience and why it's so easy to confuse the two. Even though obedience feels good, it does not have a place in a healthy, adult relationship.
Life would be a lot easier if everyone just obeyed us all the time, but that's not how it works. And we need to learn to be okay with that.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/elitegirlfriendpodcast
Expecting ourselves to be on top physically and mentally 24/7 is entirely unreasonable. Being an Elite Girlfriend is not about being super-human and never struggling with anything.
In this week's episode, I share what it means to show up as an Elite Girlfriend even when life gets you down. Whether it's hunger, stress, lack of sleep, grief, PMS, or any other issues you might be struggling with.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/elitegirlfriendpodcast
Is there a superior way of living your life regarding being calm and collected vs. emotional and explosive? Is one better than the other or can you just pick and choose which fits you?
In this week's episode, we explore the possible pros and cons of the two and I explain how I personally decided what was right for me.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/elitegirlfriendpodcast
Your partner is not a problem to be fixed. They are not your child, your project, or your responsibility. And 9 times out of 10, we stay out of your partner's brain because you have no power there anyway.
But in this week's episode, we do dive into your partner's brain. We explore how it works and how it might show up in your relationship. Understanding how their brain works can be a very powerful way for you to stop judging and show some more compassion for the person you love.
PS. I just changed the name of my Instagram to EliteGirlfriendPodcast! So head on over there to follow. xo
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/elitegirlfriendpodcast
"I'm obviously triggered right now and all I want to do is ___... I know I shouldn't, but doing ___ is also reasonable in this situation! HELP!"
Sound familiar? If you have ever struggled to decide whether or not to act on something because it's both unhealthy AND reasonable, this episode is for you. I give you my rule of thumb for situations like this and give you a peek into the next step once you master the first one.
Remember! Not acting on reasonable behavior is not a forever kind of thing. But when it's being fuelled by negative, unhealthy emotions, you need first to break that cycle before you can take the healthy action.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/elitegirlfriendcoaching
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are clearly triggered, you feel awful, you can feel the urgency inside of you to act, and you know exactly what you want to do to punish your partner in that moment?
If so, this is the episode for you. I will walk you through three powerful questions to ask yourself in that moment that will help you slow down, pause, and regain access to your "intelligent" brain.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/elitegirlfriendcoaching
One of my most important coaching tools when working with my clients is to never trust that we have the same definitions of what things mean. Good communication, healthy boundaries, love, empathy... what do all these things reallymean?
How we define our own positive (and negative) traits really matters and it's important to not mislabel your unhealthy, disempowering behaviors.
Listen to today's episode to learn more about 5 common traits that are often mislabeled as "positive" but are really unhealthy in disguise.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/elitegirlfriendcoaching
Fake it till you make it is nothing new. But it has always puzzled me when it comes to becoming a new and improved version of yourself. On the one hand, it doesn't help at all. On the other hand, it's one of the biggest keys in any transformation journey.
Tune in to this week's episode to learn the do's and don'ts of faking it and what makes the difference between eventually making it and just continuing your downward spiral.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/elitegirlfriendcoaching
Ladies!! I have not forgotten about you. I promise. The season of change I've been in for a long time now is culminating and I'm making a lot of big decisions in my life and business.
Listen to this episode to find out all about my new plan and then check out my brand new (tiny) Instagram account here:
https://www.instagram.com/elitegirlfriendcoaching/
"I just want to feel better." Sound familiar? Then you're a lot like my clients who struggle to dream big and go after their fullest potential.
In this week's episode, I talk about the benefits of setting big goals, aiming high, and deciding to transform your life completely rather than just tweaking what you've already got.
That growth experience and the process of becoming you 2.0 is too good to miss out on just because your brain is a little worried about the effort required. Let's go.
Work with me:
https://katrinberndt.com/program
I'm not taking any prisoners in this week's episode. It's time we have a serious conversation about "What if I'm right to be anxious and jealous?"
I have a very firm belief about this thought and looking back at your past self, with 20/20 hindsight. I decided very early on in my journey that I would never think this specific thought, and in this week's episode, I'll share why.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Your thoughts create your feelings and your feelings drive your actions. So if you want to change, you need to change your thoughts. Simple enough, right?
Well... wrong. It CAN be that simple in very rare cases, but most of the time it requires a lot of hard work. And that's the hard work we are going to talk about in this week's episode.
No more "half-assing" it and then complaining that it doesn't work, okay?
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Social media is full of shitty relationship advice that usually just perpetuates the anxiety, jealousy, insecurity, and confusion that grumpy girlfriends struggle with.
The advice we talk about in this episode is not objectively good or bad, but from the perspective of being a grumpy girlfriend, it does little to help.
In this week's episode, I debunk some common, shitty relationship advice and expectations that fuel your grumpiness.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Are the certain topics in your relationship that just keep causing you pain? Frustration? Anxiety? All you want is for reality to be different than it is... because YOU ARE RIGHT. Your thought is true. And reality is just not playing along.
In this week's episode, we talk about hugging the cactus. Something all humans do in their lives. But our capacity to let go of the cactus and take a step back will directly determine how much pain and frustration we live with on a daily basis.
How to Stop Being Grumpy:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-series
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
This is a guided coaching episode that I recommend you listen to if you have been triggered by something in your relationship.
The goal of processing a trigger like this is to flush the fight or flight response out of your system so you can access your intelligent brain again. We don't want to trust and act on our perception of reality when our emotions are heightened and our nervous system is entirely shot.
Always acting on your triggers and urges is not healthy for any relationship.
How to Stop Being Grumpy:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-series
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Have you ever thought that your partner is the problem in your relationship? That their behavior is the problem that needs to be solved? Then this is the episode for you.
We are never more disempowered than when we give someone or something else in our lives credit for being the "problem"... because that also makes them the solution. In this week's episode, I share what needs to happen in order for you to be able to solve the problem in YOUR life!
How to Stop Being Grumpy:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-series
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Do you ever feel obsessed with your partner? Does it feel good... or not so much? Could it even become unhealthy if it goes on for too long? A while back I got a question from a girlfriend who struggled to differentiate between her feelings of love and what felt like an unhealthy obsession. So let's figure it out together!
In this week's episode, I am joined by Daniel Penner Cline and Ron Cecil from the Cutting for Sign podcast. We discuss obsession in relationships and in true Grumpy Girlfriend Podcast fashion, we break down exactly what love and obsession mean and take it from there.
My episode on Cutting for Sign:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0gabUiyPgX0B9D0W6jFQgw?si=cbf95c1eb5024e1b
Find Ron and Daniel:https://www.instagram.com/dpennercline/
https://www.instagram.com/roncecil_/
Cutting for Sign:
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cutting-for-sign-with-ron-cecil-and-daniel-penner-cline/id1544882464
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Wd3kmJZIS0jCB46AbtiET?si=dd59a8461d994f9d
You've heard of people pleasing... saying yes to things you don't want to say yes to in order to manipulate people's thoughts and feelings about you. But what about retrospective people pleasing?
In this week's episode, I dive into one of the biggest grumpy girlfriend red flags that I see when working with my clients. The "after all I've done for you" entitlement that shows up after reality doesn't turn out the way you thought it would (or should).
How to Stop Being Grumpy:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-series
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
No one has missed the importance of setting boundaries in life in order to stay safe and sound. But for a lot of grumpy girlfriends, this is an area of confusion, frustration, and trouble. Is it possible to set too many boundaries?
Tune in to this week's episode to learn about what boundaries are, the most common boundary struggles for grumpy girlfriends, and how to make sure you're not giving your partner responsibility for managing your emotional life.
Other episodes to check out:
For Couples: “I get to do whatever I want” explained
Am I putting up with too much?
Am I overreacting?
When your partner’s behavior goes against your values
When your partner IS doing something wrong with Karilyn Ivers
The Manual
Wanting something vs. having a manual for someone
How to Stop Being Grumpy:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-series
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Is your brain constantly looking for signs that your relationship is about to end? Are you on high alert for signs your partner is cheating on you? No matter what your partner does, do you always interpret their actions in the worst possible way?
Then this episode is for you.
How to Stop Being Grumpy:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-series
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Spinning in indecision is the best way to waste time in your life and relationship. Yet we spin in indecision and struggle to make decisions because we are so afraid of making the wrong choice and wasting time. Ironic, huh?
If you are struggling to make a decision in your relationship right now, try creating a decision container and go all in on any decision within a set period of time. This will help you actually get the ball rolling and start seeing some results.
3-Part Video Series You HAVE TO Watch:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-series
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Who we are, what we struggle with, and how we feel depends on the thoughts we think. So the only thing standing in between you and the girlfriend you want to be are the thoughts you repeatedly think and believe.
Here are 23 thoughts for you to practice believing and finding evidence for in order to make this year your least grumpy year yet! Let's go!
3-Part Video Series You HAVE TO Watch:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-series
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
What is it really like to be the partner of a grumpy girlfriend? Pure misery? Or not so bad? Well, if you ask my boyfriend, it was a walk in the park. 'Cause he had no idea I was being grumpy, to begin with.
To celebrate episode 100, I invited my boyfriend Sonny to join me and answer your most burning questions about his grumpy girlfriend-boyfriend experience. Enjoy!
3-Part Video Series You HAVE TO Watch:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-series
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
A few years ago I was diagnosed with GAD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. So I've struggled with anxiety a lot as an adult. But... today, I don't struggle with anxiety anymore. I don't struggle with overthinking.
In today's episode, I share with you the thought exercise or the tool that I used to manage my overthinking and eventually overcome my intense anxiety. WWNPD?
3-Part Video Series You HAVE TO Watch:https://www.katrinberndt.com/video-series
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Week in and week out, we talk about thought work, processing your emotions, and adjusting the way you think about things in your relationship. This week, we are going to talk about situations when you might not want to do the thought work!
There are certain situations where you actually want to hold on to the way you think and feel, and just change the circumstance instead.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/coaching
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Phew. I have been feeling so overwhelmed and sick of relationship content on social media these past few days (weeks) that I just needed to come on here and vent to you guys.
If I'm feeling this way and I'm not even struggling in my relationship, I can just imagine how it must feel for you. You're at risk of getting whiplash from all the back-and-forth advice ranging from one extreme to the other.
I hope you like this episode even though it wasn't 100% structured or planned out in advance. Sometimes we just need to get stuff off our chests. :)
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/coaching
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Do you ever get into arguments with your partner about things they should or shouldn't be doing because you worry about what other people will think? Then this episode is for you.
Without being fully aware of it, other people's opinions play a huge role in our relationships, what we are okay with, and what we argue about. And this fear of judgment is something that is a lot more present for women than men.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/coaching
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
It's time to dive deep into relationship truths and assumptions operating in our subconscious minds. These truths were made up to create false safety and control in monogamous relationships, but what they're really doing is just fuelling your relationship anxiety.
How many of these 7 "truths" do you subconsciously believe to be true?
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/coaching
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Intrusive thoughts are the worst. They just pop up out of nowhere and ruin your mood completely. I know you've tried not to think about the thoughts when they pop up, I know you've tried to police your brain... it just doesn't work.
In this week's episode, I share my take on the "problem" with "intrusive" thoughts and offer you an alternative solution that doesn't give all your power away to a neutral sentence in your mind.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/coaching
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to your worst nightmare. In this week's episode, we are going to walk through the experience of finding out your partner has been cheating on you and see what happens.
A lot of girlfriends ruin their good relationships because of the fear they feel about getting lied to and cheated on. So what better way to stop fearing it than to put yourself in that situation and show your own brain that you are capable of handling it.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/coaching
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Christine is looking forward to a mid-week movie night with her love, Jack. But her brain has decided to put a halt to those plans. She starts getting grumpy and subconsciously chooses to run with it by gathering more and more evidence during the evening.
Listen to this episode to learn how I would coach Christine through this situation and what I recommend that she do instead.
This week, we are trying something new on the podcast. I have already shared this fictional coaching concept on my blog and it received terrific feedback. Let's see if it translates into the audio format as well!
Read the written version of Movie Night at Jack & Christine's: https://katrinberndt.com/2022/10/25/fictional-coaching-movie-night-at-jack-and-christines/
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/coaching
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
We're allowed to want things from our partners and relationships, and we can be sad if we don't get them. But we also shouldn't have a manual for our partners and base our emotions on what they do or don't do.
What exactly is the difference?
In this week's episode, we dive deeper into Wants vs. Manuals and define the key difference between two concepts that often come up here on the podcast. Enjoy!
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/coaching
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Have you ever gotten upset about something in your relationship and later realized that it wasn't even a problem, to begin with? You're not alone. I myself had an experience just like this a few weeks ago.
In this week's episode, I share the concept I call "fast forward and let it go", which helps you question if something is a problem or if it's just based on unrealistic assumptions and fantasies.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/coaching
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Do you ever wish that your gut would just tell you what to do? Do you ever put your life in the hands of “fate” rather than making a decision? Do you ever refer to something being a need and therefore out of your control rather than asking for what you want?
Then you're a completely normal human being.
But what is it about these things that make them so appealing? Why do we prefer to reference intuition or fate instead of simply owning that we are making a choice based on what we want? That's what I'll be talking about in this week's episode.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/coaching
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Are there certain things your partner wants or needs you to do, and if you don't do them correctly they get upset? Then chances are your partner has a manual for you. And the tricky part here is that if you think they shouldn't have a manual for you and you think their manual for you is making you annoyed and upset... well, then you have a manual right back at them.
In this week's episode, I give you some suggestions on how to deal with your partner's manual for you and how you can stop making it a problem for you.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/coaching
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
What's your partner's job in your relationship? Is it to make you feel good? Keep you safe? Share all the daily chores? When we have a long job description for our partners, it makes it difficult for them to do everything right and thus making it difficult for us to be happy.
We often judge the quality of our relationships based on our partner's ability to "do their job."
In this week's episode, I want to offer you a new job description for your partner. This might be a little extreme for some of you... but I really encourage you to play around with the idea to see what your life and relationship would look like if it were in fact true.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/coaching
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Are there things in your relationship you want your partner to want to do, but they're just not that into it? Maybe they are happy to do it just to make you happy, but that's not what you want. Ugh, so frustrating.
In this week's episode, I break down the key reasons you want your partner to want to do the thing (hint: it's not what you think) and how to solve this problem. Because continuing to argue with reality and wanting your partner to be different just isn't cutting it.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
"I have no reason to feel this way" is one of the most common sentences I hear from grumpy girlfriends all the time. We look at our partners and how they act and compare those circumstances to our thoughts and feelings... and get an error message. It just doesn't add up.
In this week's episode, I break down what it means to have "no reason" for being worried, anxious, or jealous in your relationship. I also walk you through how to manage these "unreasonable" fears.
Work with me:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/contact
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
What if we could boil down girlfriend happiness to three key choices you need to make on a daily basis? That's what I did in this week's episode. If you make these choices consistently and you practice genuinely believing in them, you will be able to finally enjoy your good relationship.
Schedule Consultation:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Are you struggling to let go of and move on from your partner's ex? You're not alone. The ex-issue is an extremely common source of grumpiness for a lot of girlfriends and in today's episode, I'll break it down for you.
You might think that your unique ex-cocktail of information is the worst-case scenario and that other people have it much easier. But trust me, you can freak out about literally any circumstances and facts about your partner and their exes. So perhaps, it's not the facts of the situation that are the problem... ;)
Schedule Consultation:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Have you ever thought that you need to be grumpy, negative, and rude towards other females in your partner's life just to not give your partner any ideas? That perhaps, if you were to be kind, open, and positive you would be giving your partner the green light to "go for it"?
Most of us don't consciously think this way, but it's an underlying belief that often results in us seeing other women as a threat that we need to deal with by being mad at them.
In this week's episode, I break down the logic behind this thinking and show you how to use logic to start shifting it. Your brain thinks it's doing really productive work when doing this, but it's not creating the results it thinks it is. Tune in to find out why!
Schedule Consultation:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Social media is full of shitty relationship advice that usually just perpetuates the anxiety, jealousy, insecurity, and confusion that grumpy girlfriends struggle with.
When you're not 100% happy in your relationship, most advice is simply to "dump them", but for those of us who realize that we are the cause of our unhappiness and not our partners... well, that advice doesn't help much.
In this week's episode, I debunk some common, shitty relationship advice and expectations that fuel your grumpiness.
Schedule Consultation:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Do you easily get resentful or upset when your partner is spending time with friends or on hobbies they enjoy? Do you feel lonely and attribute that to your partner not spending enough time with you? Then you might be guilty of blaming your partner for your boring, unfulfilling life.
In this week's episode, I talk about how you being dissatisfied with certain areas of your life can easily rub off on your relationship and you can start creating problems where there are none, just so you don't have to face the truth of what's going on.
Schedule Consultation:https://www.katrinberndt.com/girlfriend
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
This week, we are joined by my former client Katharina who came to me 9 months ago and wanted help processing her emotions and gaining clarity surrounding a pending open relationship with her boyfriend.
In this conversation, we dive into the changes she has made, what she has learned through coaching, and her take on processing emotions and why it matters.
If you want to come in contact with Katharina to ask questions or ask for advice, just send me an email at katrin@katrinberndt.com and I will forward it to her.
Schedule Consultation:https://www.katrinberndt.com/girlfriend
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
It's time to revisit the topic from episode 12, which is your capacity to have. This time I want to talk about it from a jealousy perspective and how our limited capacity to have actually increases our jealousy and makes it a lot harder to overcome it.
If you've ever thought that "everything being fine" is too good and too easy to be true, this is the episode for you. Enjoy!
Schedule Consultation:https://www.katrinberndt.com/girlfriend
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
I have a special treat for you this week! Tune in to hear the story about my former client Allison Anderson who went from being a grumpy girlfriend herself, struggling with her partner's drinking habits, to becoming a certified life and relationship coach!
We talk about the before and after, what it took to make these changes, the power of passing through neutral on your way to making a change... and so much more. Enjoy!
Check out Allison here:https://www.instagram.com/allisonandersoncoaching/
Uplevel Your Relationships Podcast
Schedule Consultation:https://www.katrinberndt.com/girlfriend
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Okay, so you know you're supposed to process and allow the emotion when it enters your body so you don't freak out and take it out on your partner... But how the heck do you process the horrible feeling of jealousy in your body without your partner noticing something is wrong?
In this episode, I explain to you why this question might be rooted in some problematic assumptions and beliefs but also how to actually do it. You'll get to listen in on what my inner monologue usually sounds like when I process jealousy myself.
Schedule Consultation:https://www.katrinberndt.com/girlfriend
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
In this episode, I share the most common mistake that my girlfriend clients make when they first start working with me. This progress hack is also something you can practice on your own when coaching yourself. You'll never be able to guess what it is!
Schedule Consultation:https://www.katrinberndt.com/girlfriend
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Our human brains have a habit of labeling things as good or bad, right or wrong, great or stupid. This is a very useful feature in a lot of situations, but when it comes to personal development, it can often get in the way of the progress we want to make.
This week's episode talks about non-judgmental observation and why it's the key to making significant changes in your life and relationship. Can you observe and watch what is happening inside of you without labeling it as good or bad?
Join The Girlfriend Glow-Up Mastermind:https://www.katrinberndt.com/glowup
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
The quality of your thoughts will determine the quality of your life and relationship. If you are thinking really low quality, complaining, grumpy, indulgent thoughts... well, that will be reflected in your results.
In this episode, I offer you some high-quality thoughts to think that will help you expand your mind, help you find solutions, and empower you to take control of your life.
Warning, it might be very uncomfortable to entertain these thoughts initially. That's okay. Nothing has gone wrong.
Join The Girlfriend Glow-Up Mastermind:https://www.katrinberndt.com/glowup
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
I always thought that "changing your life", "going after your dreams"... and "not giving up" was so abstract and vague. I kinda got it but mostly I didn't get it at all. Until I found this life-changing recipe that explains it all so clearly.
Our goals and dreams are just some simple math, massive action, and failures away. And that's a pretty small price to pay for living the lives we want!
I want YOU to blow your own mind, the way I have done.
Join The Girlfriend Glow-Up Mastermind:https://www.katrinberndt.com/glowup
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Do you ever feel overwhelmed by all the work you "should" be doing on yourself in order to improve? You're not alone. In this episode, I share 5 simple, fun mind games you can play on yourself in order to practice self-coaching.
I have been doing these exercises for years now and they really help me see things in my life more clearly and allow me to achieve the results I desire.
Apply for 1:1 coaching today:https://www.katrinberndt.com/apply
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Do you fear not finding out that your partner has cheated on you? Or lied to you? Why is that? Not knowing something doesn't hurt. Not finding out about it isn't painful. So what is it we are actually so afraid of?
Tune in to this week's episode to learn how you can shift the way you think about "not" finding out. I also explain why the way you treat yourself significantly changes depending on when you find out in relation to when the circumstance occurred, and how to shift it.
Check out the graphics I created to go with this episode here:https://www.katrinberndt.com/70
Apply for 1:1 coaching today:https://www.katrinberndt.com/apply
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Ready for some tough love? It's time for you to stop abdicating responsibility for the choices you are making in your life and relationship. Saying "I don't know", "I just can't", or "It's not working" is your brain's way of not having to own the results you're creating.
Instead, start making conscious decisions. Be disciplined with yourself. Stop choosing not to do the things you need to do in order to create the results you want. At some point, we need to actually get to work and not just passively sit and hope for something to change.
Apply for 1:1 coaching today:https://www.katrinberndt.com/apply
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
The time has come for The Big Manual Episode! This is one of my favorite relationship coaching topics because when I learned about manuals, my entire life changed. It truly changed how I thought about and showed up in my relationship and I'm very excited to share it with you today.
We cover manuals, boundaries, requests, preferences, expectations, and consequences. What they are, what they are not, how to tell the difference, and what's appropriate in adult romantic relationships. Enjoy!
Apply for 1:1 coaching today:https://www.katrinberndt.com/apply
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Time for some listener coaching! As always when I coach and answer questions, I have to make some assumptions that might not be 100% true for the person who wrote the question. But without those assumptions, it's very challenging to give any kind of advice. So remember that as you listen to the episode.
If you want more specific, detailed coaching on your struggles, I recommend signing up for my 8-week coaching program where I guide you towards your personal girlfriend goals.
Send in your application for 1:1 coaching today:https://www.katrinberndt.com/apply
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Being dumped, cheated on, and/or lied to is painful. Horrible. We don't want to experience it if we don't have to. But there is a huge difference between the clean pain that is expected and appropriate when shitty things happen to us, and the dirty pain we pile on top of it.
Tune in to this week's episode to learn about clean pain and dirty pain, and how being able to tell the difference can actually decrease the emotional suffering you experience if that worst-case scenario were to happen.
Send in your application for 1:1 coaching today:https://www.katrinberndt.com/apply
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
One of the most common answers when asking what the meaning of life is, has to be "to be happy", right? So many of us go through life searching for the external circumstances that will provide us with 100% happiness. But that hunt for the impossible actually decreases the positive and increases the negative that we experience.
Tune in to this week's episode to learn more about the 50/50 split of the human experience, what it means, and what happens when we are determined to argue with and avoid it. It might sound like a downgrade to accept that life is 50/50, but it actually makes life so much better.
Send in your application for 1:1 coaching today:https://www.katrinberndt.com/apply
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
The level of comfort we feel in the relationship context is completely based on our past experiences, coping mechanisms, and strategies. As we became emotionally and sexually active, we learned what to do and how to do it in order to feel safe and secure.
But what happens when those learned behaviors are holding us back from living life to the fullest and having all the experiences we want to have? We can't keep the same level of comfort as we start knocking down the walls in order to make a change. We need to go back to being blushing teens, fumbling around in the dark trying to figure everything out. And it's going to be awkward.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Having our needs met is often a really important part of relationships... according to most relationship advice. But as you probably know by now, I'm not a huge fan of "most" relationship advice. Especially not when it's disempowering and causes problems in your relationship.
Tune in to this week's episode for a new way to look at wants, needs, and "having them met". My goal is always to take all the power you are leaving on the table and put it back in your hands. Even if it might be uncomfortable at times. This episode is a part of that puzzle.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Searching for answers is a very human thing to do. We want to understand the reason, the cause of what is happening. Sometimes, because we think the solution lies in the reason why we are the way we are. And sometimes, in order to have something to blame.
But what happens when finding answers becomes more important than finding solutions? In this episode, I share my own devastating journey of trying to explain why and my key takeaways in hindsight, now that I'm out on the other side.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
This week, I thought it was time for another guided coaching on processing uncomfortable emotions. Learning how to sit with your feelings and not try to make them go away is a true superpower that it's never too late to learn.
Get comfortable, close your eyes, and let's feel a feeling together.
Check out episode 37 to learn more about processing emotions, why it's so important, and what the consequences usually are if we don't learn how to do it.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
The topics I cover on this podcast usually assume that you have a loving, supportive partner who is not doing something seriously wrong or bad in your relationship. But how do we apply thought work and mind management when the partner is actually doing something that could be harmful or dangerous? When they're not being loving and supportive all of the time?This week, I'm joined by addiction relationship coach Karilyn Ivers and we talk about how to navigate a relationship where everything isn't great all the time. How do we use boundaries in a productive way? How do we take responsibility for ourselves? And how do we approach conversations about things we're concerned about?
Find Karilyn Ivers at...https://www.karilynivers.com/https://www.instagram.com/karilynivers/
Your Partner's Addiction Podcast
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt/
Join the March round of How to Enjoy Your Relationship:
https://www.katrinberndt.com/group
After hearing Serena Williams' wedding vows, I started thinking about how easy it is for partners to end up on opposing teams. Do we really have each other's backs? Do we always prioritize "speaking our truth" and playing the Devil's advocate over supporting and connecting with our loved ones? Do we really want what's best for each other?
In this episode, I share my thoughts on the balance between being who you are and holding on to your own thoughts and opinions, while also being there for your partner and taking their side.
The doors to How to Enjoy Your Relationship are officially OPEN!! Join the next round here: https://www.katrinberndt.com/group
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
What does relationship coaching have in common with padel and playing the piano? The process of learning something new, of course. Even if the skills we're learning are different, the process remains the same.
Today, we are going to dive into the world of learning! I will share what I have noticed and experienced in the past couple of years when it comes to learning, and also talk about the four stages of competence. I find this concept so fascinating and I hope you will too.
The doors to How to Enjoy Your Relationship open on Monday, February 14th but you can join the waitlist already now by going to https://www.katrinberndt.com/group!
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
So far on this podcast, we have talked about your grumpiness. But that doesn't mean that your partner is never the grumpy or upset one in the relationship. This can be tricky to navigate, no matter where on your own grumpiness journey you're at.
In this episode, we are going to talk about your partner's grumpiness and what happens inside of you when your partner expresses upset emotions.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Take a pinch of childhood trauma, add some cheating and divorce, then sprinkle it with falling head over heels and getting your heart completely shattered before a romantic trip to Italy... what do you get? A best-selling book that has helped countless people all across the world, if you ask actress and author Gabrielle Stone.
Join us today as we talk about the journey that ended up as the book Eat, Pray, #FML, what Gabrielle has learned along the way, and how to use a thought onion to figure out what's really going on inside your mind.
Find Gabrielle Stone at...https://www.eatprayfml.com/https://www.instagram.com/gabriellestone/
@gabrielle_stone on TikTok
FML Talk Podcast
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt/
Has your partner ever done something that goes against your values and what you believe to be right? This can be a very difficult situation to navigate because not all of our values are equal to us, so what is cause for ending a relationship, and what can be worked through? Is there a right or wrong answer?
In this episode, I use the example of drinking and driving and talk about the thought work that is available to you in this situation and what it might look like. These concepts can be applied to any disagreement you have with your partner, about anything from Covid vaccines, politics, religious beliefs, or how to treat yourself or others.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
There are two main reasons why our brains want to get upset to get attention in relationships. Either to prove themselves right or prove themselves wrong. In this week's episode, I dive into these two options, what they look like, and why they always result in the opposite of what we want.
I also talk about the 4 step process of rewiring your brain in these situations and no longer giving in to the urge to react immediately when your brain gets the impulse to cause a fight.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Happy New Year!! In today's episode, I talk about setting intentions for the new year, what to think about, and what to look out for. I also share with you some of my personal and professional intentions for 2022.
Sign up for the How to Enjoy Your Relationship coaching program today:https://www.katrinberndt.com/group
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
There is no doubt in my mind that you've got what it takes to become the girlfriend you want to be in 2022. And there is no doubt in my mind that I am the person who will help you make that change.
Tune in to the last episode of 2021 to find out why I believe so strongly that you've got what it takes and that my program is what you've been looking for. I can't wait to work with you inside of the How to Enjoy Your Relationship program in 2022.
Sign up for the How to Enjoy Your Relationship coaching program today:https://www.katrinberndt.com/group
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Win a free coaching session with me to work on a specific relationship-related struggle you're facing right now. To enter the giveaway...
1. Go to my Instagram and find the post on my feed marked Podmas Giveaway.
2. Share the post on your story (make sure your account is open) and tag me.
3. Keep an eye out for the winner announcement on New Year's Eve.
4. Submit your entry before the end of Thursday, December 30th!
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Thank you so much for hanging out with me during Podmas and a VERY Merry Christmas to you all!
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 23 exercise: What are your thoughts about your partner, their ex, and holiday traditions? How can you use Dorothy's advice to be more present and grateful in the moment?
Follow Dorothy...https://www.instagram.com/breakupcoachdorothy
https://dorothyabjohnson.com/
How to Get Over Your Ex Podcast (iTunes/Spotify)
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 22 exercise: Imagine what could be possible for you in the future without referencing the past. What do you come up with?
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 21 exercise: What is something you can let people be wrong about this holiday season? Do you have family members that have the wrong opinion about you? What would it be like to allow them to be wrong?
Follow Sarah...https://www.instagram.com/sarahplowmancoaching
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
When we don't understand something, our brains fill in the gaps in order to stop being confused about it. Deciding that we hate something or disagree with it is always a way better option than staying confused or uncertain.
In today's episode, I want to help you become certain of the fact that thought work matters. This is the work standing in the way of the extraordinary life you want to live.
Sign up for the How to Enjoy Your Relationship coaching program today:https://www.katrinberndt.com/group
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 19 exercise: Is there anything you're saying yes to right now that you actually want to say no to? Or is there something you're saying no to that you want to say yes to? Why?
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 18 exercise: Practice identifying if you're feeling an emotion that started in your brain as a thought, or if you're feeling a sensation that is being created by your body without your brain's participation. Notice what happens in your brain when your body is experiencing sensations like hunger, tiredness, or pain.
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 17 exercise: Can you recognize if a scarcity mindset is causing some troubles for you ahead of the holidays? How would you think about it differently from an abundance perspective?
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 16 exercise: What expectations do you have ahead of the holidays when it comes to your kids, spending time together, traditions, and having that magical Christmas experience? Do these expectations serve you or are they setting you up to have a meltdown of your own?
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 15 exercise: Process the emotion that keeps coming up and then follow the 4 steps in the episode to do the thought work around the sentence you're thinking in order to commit to a new belief.
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 14 exercise: Follow along in the episode and process an emotion that you're struggling with ahead of the holidays.
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
In today's episode, I speak to Melissa Francisco about hormones and their impact on how we think and feel throughout the month. Melissa was diagnosed with PMDD in her 30s and has since then learned how to keep track of her cycle and set herself up to be successful throughout the month. Through all the ups and downs.
Find Melissa Francisco at...http://transitiondesigns.com/
melissa@transitiondesigns.com
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt/
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 12 exercise: Identify a disempowering question you ask yourself a lot and try to turn it into a more empowering question that actually has a useful answer. If you want some help, head on over to my Instagram and we'll do it together.
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 11 exercise: Mark your calendar. On December 14th at 7 pm (CET) I will be coaching you live on Instagram. Bring your questions and let's have some fun together.
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 10 exercise: How do you feel about the quote "Amor fati", love of fate? Does it resonate with you or can you not really see the purpose of applying it in day-to-day situations?
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 9 exercise: Would you rather manage expectations and avoid some disappointment, or enjoy expectations and manage your mind when they're not met?
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 8 exercise: What's on your instruction manual ahead of the holidays? What is supposed to happen, what are people supposed to do, how are they supposed to do it? See if you can come with a couple of things on your list.
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 7 exercise: What are your thoughts about giving and receiving gifts? Do they create an enjoyable experience or a lot of drama?
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
If our thoughts create our feelings, naturally we can just change our thoughts when we feel bad and we'll feel better. Regardless of what's going on. At least if you ask someone who has just started learning about thought work.
In this week's episode, I want to offer you a deeper understanding of the Model, thought work, and how to neutralize a circumstance in order to get your power back. It's not at all about feeling good about bad things that happen. Tune in to find out what to think instead.
Check out my free 3-part video series about why we become grumpy girlfriends and how to stop:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 5 exercise: How can you apply the tools and exercises from day 1 to 4 to your specific relationship issue? Do a thought download and see what comes up.
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 4 exercise: Think about your thought bruise from yesterday and try to wiggle it a little. Can you see that this thought is optional? What are some other thoughts you could be thinking? Remember, this isn't a positivity exercise. It's an exercise in choosing thoughts that serve you rather than pointless thoughts that just cause you meaningless pain.
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 3 exercise: Grab a pen and paper and set a timer for 5-10 minutes. Pick a topic for your thought download and then start writing down everything that comes to mind about that topic. What are you thinking? Why is it a problem? What are you making it mean? Then try to identify the most painful thought -- your "thought bruise". PS. It might be disguised as a very pretty-sounding thought.
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 2 exercise: Acknowledge and hold space for the fact that there are no past or future feelings. All emotions are experienced in the present moment, even if we're having thoughts about the future or the past. How does that apply to your relationship?
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Welcome to Podmas! Every day leading up to Christmas I will be posting short and sweet podcast episodes that will help you manage your thoughts, process your emotions, and lay a solid foundation for an enjoyable holiday season.
Day 1 exercise: Notice and name what you are feeling when thinking about this year's holiday season. Happy? Excited? Sad? Anxious? Name the dominant emotion and describe how that emotion feels in your body.
See you back here tomorrow!
Share your thoughts about today's episode on the corresponding Instagram story:https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
If we could only get rid of all other women in the world, our relationships would be super lovely, right? We would have no problems whatsoever and everything would be rainbows and daisies. Or that's at least what a lot of us think.
But here's the good news: We don't have to get rid of half of the world's population in order to have the relationships we want. We just need to tweak the way we view and think about other girls, our partners, and ourselves. Tune in to this week's episode to learn how I did it for myself!
Check out my free 3-part video series about why we become grumpy girlfriends and how to stop:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
How many times have you asked yourself, your partner, your friends, or your mom if you're overreacting? It's such a common question we ask to validate how we feel and how we're reacting to a situation in our relationship.
The problem is that this question is not very relevant. It's a low-quality question to ask because the answer doesn't provide you with anything useful. Tune into this episode to find out why and what question to ask instead!
Check out my free 3-part video series about why we become grumpy girlfriends and how to stop:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
We all have a habit of focusing more on the worst-case scenario than the best-case scenario. This is just normal human behavior. But when the worst that can happen starts taking over your relationship and you spend most of your time freaked out and trying to prevent it... that never turns out well for anyone.
In this week's episode, I talk about the worst that can happen, what it actually is, how to make peace with it, and how to move forward.
Check out my free 3-part video series about why we become grumpy girlfriends and how to stop:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
When learning how to change your behavior, stop being a grumpy girlfriend, and start enjoying your good relationship, it's easy to be overwhelmed by all the new things you need to learn. So many new skills to practice and apply in order to get results.
In this episode, I want to show you that you already possess a lot of the skills you need in order to make a change. You're just applying those skills in different areas right now, or you might have drawn lines without even being aware of it. You actually do have self-control and you are able to manage yourself, even if you're not currently doing it in the ways you might want to.
Check out my free 3-part video series about why we become grumpy girlfriends and how to stop:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
I'm sure you've heard the famous quote about being right or being happy. It's especially true in relationships, so in this week's episode, I dive into what it means, how we can apply it, and how to go about being wrong about something.
The relationship you want, the happiness you desire, is on the other side of being wrong about something you currently believe to be true. Let's find out what that is.
Check out my free 3-part video series about why we become grumpy girlfriends and how to stop:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
After being in a relationship for some time, you'll probably start experiencing some upsetting events that cause you a lot of pain. Sometimes they happened years ago and you're still in pain about them, which makes you withdraw or act cold towards your partner in the present moment.
In this episode, I share a worksheet that my clients get access to inside of my How to Enjoy Your Relationship Coaching Program that is all about upsetting events and how to move forward.
Here are the questions on the worksheet:
Check out my free 3-part video series about why we become grumpy girlfriends and how to stop:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Buckle up, because this week we are diving into trust and flipping it all upside down. My hope with this episode is that it helps you shift your thoughts about trust, what it is, who benefits from it, and what happens when trust is broken.
Trust is not something that gets put into our bodies based on other people and their actions, and trust is not something that is removed from our bodies based on their actions either. We need to learn to view trust as an inside job that is a gift to ourselves, more than anyone else.
Check out my free 3-part video series about why we become grumpy girlfriends and how to stop:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Thought errors are thoughts that pop up and encourage negative behavior. We don't judge thoughts as errors based on the thought's validity, on how the thought makes us feel, or what someone else thinks about it. We judge a thought error based on what it makes us do and what our opinion of that action/reaction is.
Tune in to this week's episode to learn all about uncovering thought errors and what to do with them once you start becoming aware.
Check out my free 3-part video series about why we become grumpy girlfriends and how to stop:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
In this episode, I share the four most common mistakes that most of us make that prevent changed behavior. In order to override our automatic programming, we need to start activating our prefrontal cortex as much as possible, yet we constantly set ourselves up to fail in the heat of the moment. Time to stop that!
Tune in to find out what the four mistakes are, how to avoid them, and why it's important.
Want to start your journey towards finally enjoying your relationship? Read more at:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Let's talk about obstacles, what they are, where they come from, and how to become aware of them so we can ultimately overcome them.
It's not uncommon for my clients to tell me "they know better" and completely dismiss the fears associated with being happy, relaxed, and joyful in their relationships. But when we dismiss the fears and concerns we are actually ignoring our biggest obstacles and making it impossible to overcome them. So it's time to stop that once and for all!
Ready to learn how to manage your primitive brain? Read more at:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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When I was a grumpy girlfriend, I was not someone you wanted to share truths with because of my reactions. Since my brain was on high alert all the time, constantly looking out for danger, the smallest little truth or uncomfortable information would set me off completely and I would freak out and either lash out or withdraw and act passive-aggressively.
In this week's episode, I share the work that I have done in order to change that. I have practiced handling truths with grace in order to be a safe person for my partner to talk to if needed. This is not work that we do to benefit someone else. It's work we do in order to trust ourselves and be confident that no matter what happens, we won't react completely out of control and potentially do things we regret.
Ready to do the work? Read more at:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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In this bonus episode, I walk you through the process of processing and feeling an emotion of your choice. Feel free to come back to this episode at any time and practice your ability to sit with discomfort in your body.
To learn more about why we do this and the effects it can have on our lives and relationships, listen to episode 37 - How to Feel Your Feelings.
Ready to become an emotionally empowered and relaxed girlfriend? Let's do it together.
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Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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We resist, react to, and avoid our emotions on a daily basis and call it "feeling". But the purpose of all these strategies is to get relief. To get rid of the feeling, fix the problem, and start feeling better. It's ironic that we think feeling a feeling is the same as trying to make the feeling go away.
As you can imagine, it's the complete opposite. In this episode, I talk about feeling feelings, what it actually means, and why it's so important that we start practicing feeling our emotions instead of trying to make them go away.
PS. Check out this week's bonus episode to listen to the part where I guide you through the process of feeling an emotion of your choice.
Emotional processing is one of the keys to being a happy, relaxed girlfriend. Want to learn how? Go to:
https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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We all know what we need in order to stop being grumpy girlfriends. We need more confidence, fewer insecurities, more independence, less doubt. Simple. Easy. Let's go. The problem is that when we need something we don't yet have in order to start making change, that change immediately becomes inaccessible to us.
In this week's episode, I lay it all out for you. Exactly what you need to start making a change today and the best part? I promise you, you already have it.
Enjoy!
Got what you need? Head over to my website and fill out your application today.
https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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In this episode, I coach you guys on some of the issues you submitted to me on Instagram during the week. We cover topics such as attraction, random sadness, keeping the spark alive, and what's normal when it comes to the amount of sex we're having.
A common theme in a lot of these questions is that we look outside of ourselves to find explanations and solutions to emotions created inside of our brains. The questions I answer in this episode show a wide variety of how that issue can show up in our lives.
Enjoy!
Read more about my 1:1 coaching program here:
https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Do you keep score of who does what in your relationship? In this week's episode, we're joined by Dr. Abby Medcalf who believes that competition is the real reason why relationships fail. Not a lack of communication or incompatibility. So what does it mean to compete for love and resources in the relationship and how does it impact your connection long-term? Tune in to find out.
Find Abby Medcalf at...https://abbymedcalf.com/
https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving/
Relationships Made Easy Podcast
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt/
Asking for help from your partner seems pretty innocent, right? It's something you should be able to do and they should be there to help you out when you need it. But is it really that simple? For a lot of grumpy girlfriends, the act of asking for help is more so a test and a shortcut to grumpy town than a genuine desire to get help with a task or chore.
In this week's episode, I share my past struggles with asking for help and using it to test my partner. I also talk about why "If you want it done right, do it yourself" is such a good rule of thumb in any relationship.
Read more about my 1:1 coaching program here:
https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Have you ever thought to yourself "Am I putting up with too much in this relationship..?" or "Would other people actually put up with this behavior?". In that case, this episode is for you.
This week, I break down the exact definition of putting up with something and in the process, I show you the 4 different stages you might not be taking responsibility for if you feel that your patience is wearing thin.
Read more about my 1:1 coaching program here:
https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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We all have various triggers for our emotions that are recurring in our relationships. Certain things our partners say, certain things our partners do, or other people's actions can send us into a spiral of negative thoughts and shitty emotions. These recurring situations can be worked on and mastered, but what about the situations we can't prepare for that catch us totally off guard?
In this week's episode, I share my strategy for dealing with emotions that catch me off guard that I haven't been able to practice or prepare for ahead of time. The solution is really simple, but it's also one of the most challenging things you'll ever do.
Read more about my 1:1 coaching program here:
https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
If thoughts create feelings and no other human can make us feel anything, does that mean that love and romance and all the fairytale things we all dream of go out the window? This kind of black and white thinking is the brain's way of saving energy when learning new things, but as you guys know by now, this podcast is not about saving energy. It's about growing through the discomfort. And sometimes, that discomfort comes from nuanced thinking.
What is the main difference between the fairytale narrative we all grow up with and the way I teach about relationships, and which one is truly more negative and counter-productive when it comes to the ultimate goal of love and connection?
Apply for a free 60-minute consultation here:
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Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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When I first started learning about these concepts, my brain would argue with them a lot and come up with all the reasons why it makes no sense and why it might even be harmful to think about things this way. So if that's what your brain is doing, totally normal. Promise. Or at least as normal as I am hehe.
This week, I dive into 6 common misunderstandings about the work that I do, about thoughts creating feelings, what it means, and how to relate to neutral facts in the world.
Apply for a free 60-minute consultation here:
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Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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Did you know that almost all adults spend their entire lives in emotional childhood? This is how we are taught from a very young age to relate to our emotions and the world around us... but it is also the quickest way to strip yourself of all your power.
In this week's episode, I talk about emotional childhood, what it means, and why it is beneficial to learn how to take responsibility and ownership of your own emotions in your relationships, especially if you're considering leaving a relationship you're unhappy in.
Apply for a free 60-minute consultation here:
https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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It's a lot easier to identify the habits and behaviors we have that we don't like than to figure out how to change them and make it all better. This is a perfect environment for self-judgment to come alive. When we want to stop doing something but we don't know how... we revert to beating ourselves up in hopes that it'll somehow work.
In today's episode, I talk about how to change self-judgment into self-evaluation and growth so that you can start focusing on the future. That way you can figure out exactly what needs to be worked on for you the be the person and partner you want to be.
Download the Discovery Worksheet here:
https://www.katrinberndt.com/27
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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Has your partner ever used "your thoughts create your feelings" against you? Do they rejoice when they find out that they don't actually have to follow the manual you have for them? Then this episode is for you... and your partner.
It's not uncommon to think that if we're not responsible for anyone else's feelings and we get to do whatever we want, that we would go out and be assholes to everyone we meet. But I want you to question whether or not that's actually true.
Apply for a free 60-minute consultation here:
https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Have you ever experienced problems in your relationship that your partner is completely confused by? They don't agree at all that it's a problem and you're confused why they can't see what you see so clearly.
In this week's episode, I talk about this difference in opinion, where problems actually come from, and how to navigate a solution to a problem the two of you simply can't agree on. All of the examples of solutions I mention in this episode are available to you at all times, but they might not always apply and might not always be appropriate. That is for you to decide.
Apply for a free 60-minute consultation here:
https://www.katrinberndt.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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For a lot of girlfriends, the idea of being cheated on (or being cheated on again) is the biggest underlying fear in the relationship. The fear can create all kinds of jealousy, pressure, and anxiety, but also completely disconnect you from your partner.
In this week's episode, I'm joined by relationship coach Marie Murphy, Ph.D. who works with people who are having affairs. We talk about why people cheat, who is responsible and if there's anything you can do to prevent it from happening.
Find Marie Murphy at...https://www.mariemurphyphd.com/
https://www.instagram.com/mariemurphyphd/
https://www.facebook.com/MarieMurphyPhD/
Your Secret Is Safe With Me Podcast
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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Are you familiar with the term sister-wives? It's basically when you live in a polyamorous relationship with one husband and multiple wives. Perhaps not something that is a part of your day-to-day life. But you actually have three sister-wives. Inside of your own brain.
In this episode, you will meet your sister-wives, Suzie, Beth, and Marina (very much inspired by the TLC/Netflix show One Husband, Three Wives). These three ladies all have an important role in your life and in your relationship grumpiness.
Tune in to find out who they are and how to deal with them all individually.
Apply for a free 60-minute consultation here:
https://www.katrinberndt.com/apply
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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Welcome to the big chore episode! This topic is one of the most common causes of grumpiness in any relationship, and even those who are generally happy can struggle with chore drama.
In this episode, I share with you the story I used to tell about our chore situation at home. A story that made me extremely grumpy and resentful. I also share the story I currently tell, what's true for me now, and how this new truth makes me feel.
If you struggle with chore grumpiness, this episode is for you!
Apply for a free 60-minute consultation here:
https://www.katrinberndt.com/apply
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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Are there certain "truths" you're afraid of in your relationship? Topics you try to avoid or questions that are left un-asked? Most likely your brain has already decided what is true, and that truth hurts so bad you try to run away from it.
What if there was a way you could process and question this truth before you bring it up with your partner? A way to take your power back and not allow this made-up truth to make you feel helpless and out of control?
Listen to this week's episode to find out how!
Apply for a free 60-minute consultation here:
https://www.katrinberndt.com/apply
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Are you living life on an airplane or on a bus? When things don't go according to plan do you just say "fuck it" and ride it out or do you try to pivot and change how you're reacting?
In this week's episode, I share a tool I have created for my Girlfriend Glow-Up clients who often struggle with judgment and self-criticism when experiencing a setback. It's totally normal to not be perfect from day 1, but can we create a strategy to always choose the next best thing to do in those situations? Listen to find out!
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
What's the difference between mature girlfriend questions and grumpy girlfriend questions? That's what we are going to dive into in this week's episode.
It's important that we understand what kind of questions to ask ourselves regularly, 'cause the brain is a question machine. The problem is that it's also an answering machine, so unless we consciously answer the questions that are being asked, we are going to get very habitual, often negative, and unproductive answers.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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On this week's episode, Breakup Coach Dorothy and I dive into all things breakups. Are they as bad as we imagine them to be? If a relationship ends, was it all a lie? And most importantly, how do we know when it's time to cut the cord?
Dorothy also talks about the difference between being attached and being committed in a relationship and to your big picture goals in life. For a lot of grumpy girlfriends, that attachment is what gets them stuck in these negative thought spirals that we discuss here on the podcast.
Find Breakup Coach Dorothy at...How to Get Over Your Ex Podcast
https://www.instagram.com/breakupcoachdorothy
https://dorothyabjohnson.com/
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Have you ever changed or improved your behavior in order to improve your relationship and then been extremely confused by your partner's response? Perhaps they didn't at all respond in the way you think they should have or perhaps they just didn't show enough appreciation for all the hard work you put in.
This week, we are talking about improving our behavior and leveling up... with strings attached. With a manual for how your partner must respond and how they must show appreciation for this amazing gift we are giving them.
Sign up for The GF Lab Workshop:https://www.katrinberndt.com/gflab
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
What does Blake Lively and attachment theory have in common? In this week's episode, I share the findings of a little survey I did on my Instagram account all about relationship role models.
Is it a good idea to compare ourselves to others and what exactly decides if it is a good idea or not? I think it's time we start using our role models to our advantage and learn how to compile all the valuable information we can get from them in order to apply it to our own lives.
Sign up for The GF Lab Workshop:https://www.katrinberndt.com/gflab
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt
Buckle up, because this week we're diving headfirst into the cliché of being present in the moment rather than getting lost in the future or the past. But don't worry, I'm not just telling you all the things you already know.
In this episode, I talk about why our thoughts about the past and the future matter so much and how those thoughts impact the present moment. Our thoughts don't have the power to change the past or control the unknown in the future... but our thoughts have an amazing super power in the present moment, and that is what we will explore today.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt/
How much control do we have over our own sex drive and how does the wording "sex drive" play a role in blocking our access to pleasure? This and more is covered on this week's episode with Master Certified Life Coach and Sex Coach for Women, Danielle Savory.
I, myself, learned so much speaking to Danielle on this episode and I can't wait for you to hear what she has to say on the topics of sex, pleasure, and desire vs. grumpiness. It's a combo that a lot of women deal with so I'm sure you'll be able to relate to a lot of the things we talk about.
Find Danielle Savory at...https://www.daniellesavory.com/
https://www.instagram.com/danielle.savory/
It's My Pleasure Podcast
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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What happens during the Honeymoon Phase and what happens once it's gone? This week, we are diving into the thoughts and feelings we have at the beginning of the relationship vs. the thoughts and feelings we have 5 years down the road.
How much power do we have over these phases and how big of an impact do the hormones have? Tune in to find out what we can learn from the Honeymoon Phase and how we can incorporate it into our day to day lives.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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Most of us can probably relate to self-sabotaging our relationships in some way. But why do we do it? We know better and we really do love our partners... so why are we trying so hard to ruin it? Why are we constantly searching for evidence that the relationship is going to end?
In this week's episode, I talk about our capacity to have and what happens when our current reality exceeds our current identity and what we believe to be true. That cognitive dissonance is so uncomfortable for the brain that it is going to anything in its power to make reality fit our beliefs, even if that means ruining a good relationship.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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This week's episode is all about the journey. How do you talk to yourself about the changes you want to make and the growth you want to experience? Are you beating yourself up thinking that you should be different than you are, or are you exploring how you could be different in the future?
"Should" is one of the most pointless things to think unless the thing you're thinking about is perfectly aligned with the reality of what's going on. If your "should" is arguing with reality or the past, you're just hugging a cactus and not letting go.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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The idea that women are confusing and men are totally confused is reinforced daily by our western society, pop culture, and social media. And we just fall into that way of thinking and believe that that's the way it is. Women want men to take initiative and "just know" what to do, men have no idea what to do. Women get upset. End of story.
But when both parties suffer from this way of thinking, why in the world do we keep doing it?
In this week's episode, I talk about how we constantly set ourselves up to suffer by arguing with the reality of who our partner is and how they choose to live their lives. When we argue with reality, we lose 100% of the time, as Byron Katie says.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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How do we know if what we are feeling is a problem or not? In this week's episode, I talk about the information we need to gather in order to determine what is a problem and what isn't. Just feeling an emotion in your body is never going to be enough information to determine if it's good or bad, useful, or a problem to be fixed.
And what happens if we go through life thinking that anything that feels bad in the body is a problem to be fixed? Buffering is a very common way for us humans in the 21st Century to handle emotions because it makes us feel as if we've gotten rid of the emotions we didn't like. But the truth is that we're just masking it with a bunch of external things that give you a temporary dopamine hit.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt/
This is not another resource telling you that your partner's ex is an ex for a reason and that all flowers are beautiful in their own way. This is my story and how I overcame the crippling jealousy that I suffered from for over 5 years.
I understand that my journey and my way of thinking will not resonate with all of you. That's okay. If one person listening to this episode is helped by hearing the struggles I've had and the progress I've made it will be 100% worth it.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt/
Most of us have heard of confirmation bias. That we seek out information and evidence that supports what we already believe to be true and dismiss or ignore evidence to the contrary. But how does this affect our romantic relationships?
In today's episode, I talk about the ways confirmation bias shows up in relationships and how it often causes us to put our partners in a box that they struggle to break out of. In order to create an environment that promotes growth and development, we need to dump our confirmation bias and befriend the discomfort that comes with cognitive dissonance.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
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Have you ever noticed that you are upset or frustrated with your partner on their behalf? You know they are doing something stupid that might cause them to suffer or be in pain in the future, so you try to convince them to do things differently. You "know" how to prevent their suffering and when they won't listen to you that makes you even more frustrated.
Yeah, I know exactly what that's like. This week, we are going to discuss where this behavior comes from, why we do it, and how to let go of the responsibility for their pain. Their life is not in your hands, and once you realize that you will have more time and energy to focus on your own.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt/
Why do you want to be in a romantic relationship with someone? What's the point, for you? Such a fundamental question that I don't think we spend enough time thinking about. This can, in turn, lead to us losing sight of what we're trying to get out of the relationship we are in, which then can lead to excessive grumpiness in our day to day lives.
Tune in this week for an interactive episode and I would love to hear your thoughts, and even your partner's thoughts, after we're done.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt/
What happens to the love and connection in a relationship when your brain is constantly on the defensive? In this week's episode, I talk about standing up for yourself in a relationship, what that means, and what happens when it goes too far.
How can we use boundaries in order to ensure our own safety and fulfill our own needs, and then let go of our desire to change or control how our partner acts? Tune in to find out.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt/
Deciding when grumpiness or upset emotions are justified and when they aren't, when they are "correct" and when they aren't, can be a struggle. I'm sure you have, at some point, asked a friend if the way you reacted was exaggerated or totally normal. We do this in an attempt to not only feel justified but also get validation from someone that isn't us so we don't have to carry the burden of choosing our emotions on our own.
In this episode, we are going to sort it all out. Is grumpiness ever objectively justified and what is the purpose behind it? And most importantly, who decides?
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt/
Before we can start digging around in all of our grumpiness, I think it's important to understand where it comes from, to begin with. What actually happens when we start nurturing the grumpy-seed in our brains that then grows into an uncontrollable monster?
The reason we become grumpy actually doesn't have anything to do with our partners and how they act. I know that might disappoint you, but I promise it's the best news you've heard all day.
Contact:https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt/
Welcome to the Grumpy Girlfriend Podcast!
Hosted by: Katrin Berndt, certified life coach.
https://www.katrinberndt.com/
https://www.instagram.com/katrinberndt/