Fixed on Change: The Parenting Failure Expert Podcast: Recent Episodes
Debbie Wheeler
Welcome to "Fixed On Change" with Debbie. This podcast reveals simple ways to heal from destructive habits and thoughts that lead to a destructive lifestyle. Whether it's addiction, chaotic relationships or dissatisfaction with life Debbie will inspire, encourage and motivate you to face your fears, resolve your conflicts and embrace failure as an opportunity to change from the inside out with God at the center all things are possible!!
We are living in a time when families are getting more and more disconnected from each other as well as socially thanks to technology. If our families are to thrive we need to be intentional about staying socially connected.
ashleykahn.co Parenting Coach is available to to help moms and grandmas make a difference in the next generation!!
Parents and grandparents lets recognize the empowerment of resilience. Families thrive with healthy coping skills to overcome adversity and the next generation needs it to thrive.
ashleykahn.co Parenting Coach is available to to help moms and grandmas make a difference in the next generation!!
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Often times we do everything in our own power to fix, correct and control relationships that have gone awry. It is at these moments God is calling us parents and grandparents to surrender and give it to the only One who can work in the hearts of loved ones, after all He did create us!!
There are many relationships that are broken in families today. Whether it be with parents, siblings, extended family, no matter who it is resolution begins with prayer. Only God can “work all things together for good, for those who love God and are called according to his purpose”. Romans 8:28
Unifying the family is more critical today than it has ever been. Families are separated by counties, states, and countries. Technology can keep us connected, however being intentional will take some effort. Your influence and wisdom is needed for this next generation.
Adult children are making choices that are tearing parent’s apart. It’s time to speak what’s on our mind and hearts in a way that’s non threatening while speaking truth in love. That’s where “PAUSE“ becomes the prerequisite.
Families are moving and separating physically putting long distances from each other. The loss is real and grieving is necessary. Feelings fly when expressed, and can open the doors for solutions to staying connected.
Strong roots for families is what needed in this day and age. Families need to influence and model morality in a world that has gone so immoral. We need to be solid role models and maintain our familial connections to hold family members accountable.
Many of us have been dealing with problems in our life for a very long time. Once we ask Jesus in our hearts there is more to living a satisfied, fulfilling life in Christ. Many of us have not received Jesus as the master, the ruler of our lives and that can be scary. Don’t let fear keep you from God’s Best.
S-6-#10 Devil’s Playground
When we experience difficult situations that cause pain in our lives, we are tempted to blame God for the distress. However, painful circumtances may be the result of someone else's choice or our own choice. Pain has a purpose: to draw us to a relationship with our Creator. A wandering parent apart from God sits in the devils playground.
S-6-#9 Going Deep
What did Jesus set a parent “Free” from? Acting out in our sin nature is like wearing handcuffs with your maladaptive behaviors, habits and attitudes all over it. Only Jesus has the key to unlock it's hold on you to empower a parent from the inside out.
S-6-#8 Joy In Pain
For the child of God, “Pain is inevitable, misery is optional.” The Bible tells us God is trustworthy and is faithful to his own so, “Why is it so hard to trust a perfect God who promises our problems and painful circumstances are opportunities for joy?? Learn how God's ways are "higher" than ours and so is his power!
S-6-#7 Delightful Dependence
The best decision we parents can make is to learn to depend on God for all that we are as parents. We fail when we fulfill parenthood in our own strength. “the battle belongs to the Lord.” There is strength in weakness, because God shows up in the lives of the humble.
We are guaranteed problems in this life. The Bible calls them "trials and tribulations." Situations that are out of our control, we often try everything “we know” for immediate gratification however delayed gratification is what God requires of us. Learn why!!! .
S-6-#5 Agony of Anguish
Parenting can be physically, mentally, emotionally and relationally, draining. You may have been feeling this way for a very long time. Like any other painful feeling seeking immediate relief becomes an all consuming desire. Looking to idols that replace God to relieve our pain like addictions, obsessive compulsive behaviors will lead to destruction. Only God can heal you from the inside out and make you the parent he created you to be.
Stress can magnify behaviors and attitudes the appall us. We may want to blame our loved ones for the parent we’ve become but, know this: nothing will come out of us that hasn’t already been brewing for years. Truth is we’ve been parenting in our “sin" nature while neglecting our “spiritual” needs.
Trying to measure up to the expectations of the ‘perfect loving’ parent can create internal conflicts because we “know” we have fallen short of our own expectation to be that nurturing, loving parent our children can honor and respect. It all begins with change from the inside out! Learn how those inner conflicts can lead to healing from within.
Are you overwhelmed and disillusioned with your role as a parent? Are you disappointed with the man or woman you’ve become? Unless we take a clear look at how our sin nature can wreak havoc on our role as parents, we will have difficulty experiencing the joys of parenting.
S-6-#1: Introduction: God Is Good
Trying to parent in our own strength will ultimately lead to destruction. I know. I've experienced it!! I believe the missing piece to our strength, wisdom and endurance as parents is that we have neglected a relationship with God and traded it for people, places and things. It's time to get connected.
Can you trust your thoughts? Some thoughts are trustworthy and many of us don’t trust our thoughts enough that's creating a problem for codependency on the other hand. There are many thoughts that we should challenge rather than trust. Find out today. What is the difference?
The “upside down” parent, takes everything personally which can destroy the relationships because not everything is a personal attack. To the “upside down” parent, the child's behavior directly reflects their identity as a parent, a human being and ultimately who they are at the core. There is hope to be turned right side up!
Our culture is consumed with “self”. The golden rule ‘treat others the way you want to be treated” applies to the relationship between a parent and child. When “self” gets in the way it hinders our ability to “treat others the way you want to be treated” because you can't see past your”self. It's so easy for a parent to become patient, however there is always hope.
All too often we make judgments about other people and even our flesh and blood. Being stuck in unforgiveness carries baggage of resentment, bitterness and blaming. I venture to say at one point or another we've all been there and done that but it's time to learn something new to strengthen the relationships in your family.
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One of the lies I believed is that I didn't need to “really” read, study and learn what the Bible has to say about life and how to live it. So for many years I lived a good life but not the best life that God had to offer me. With God, it’s never too late to start.
Conflict is inevitable, hostility is optional! Angry fights create an environment of stress, worry, anxiety and stress and at its root is selfishness. Learn what it means to be selfless creating an environment that can amicably engage in conflict and at the same time role model healthy relationships in love.
Words have impact, both to build up and tear down. Our thoughts about our loved ones will eventually come out in our words and they can destroy relationships. Asking God for the wisdom to use your words to build healthy relationships is the key to healthy families.
Do you really understand what “love” is? The bible is clear “love” is an action and often we confuse it for a ‘feeling’. As a parent we ‘know’ love needs to be part of our character however, sometimes the guilt we feel when we fall short knowing our actions don’t align with the powerful and all consuming "unconditional love." There is HOPE.
Is it difficult for you to show respect to your partner, your child? Are you unhappy with the way the relationship is going? Is it time to lower your guard and align your behaviors and attitudes with your values? If you value respect learn to offer it and be satisfied with yourself!!
Is your way the only Way? Are you open to listen or compromise with your child, your partner, and learn to come to a unifying agreement to agree or disagree. Learn what it means to solve problems with your family members and minimize conflict in your relationships.
Parenting is all about the prep work before we see the results! Like any goal there is a process of steps that lead to the final accomplishment. A parent must learn to be patient with the process of parenting because laying a solid foundation for your child will take TIME and lots of it.
Parenting is an opportunity to change behaviors and attitudes that hinder healthy relationships with your child and it starts with the feelings you’ve been avoiding. Feelings are meant to be felt and all too often we desperately try to avoid them at all costs because of the pain they invoke. It's time to expose those fake feelings for the real ones!
“I wish I knew then what I know now, because I thought I knew”. Are you measuring your effectiveness as a parent by your external successes? You know, it’s how accomplished your family is, how your family is presenting using external values like appearances, economic status? The problem is we often neglect learning how to lay down the foundation of strength that begins internally and the external will follow.
Just as there are millions of people in this world, there are millions of expectations and perceptions of how a parent is to play out their role in the family. For many, striving to be the “perfect parent” looks different in every family, but is “perfection” going to bring the joy of loving relationship every family member needs? I think NOT! Perfecting Parenting makes for a teachable parent, one who is willing to learn!!!
Often times we parents "believe" our children can’t see or notice how our actions behind closed doors are different than how we present to the public.Wow nothing could be further from the truth! They "see" the inconsistencies whether you know it or not.
Being honest with our self evaluation is the beginning of living as a parent of "integrity". Your actions and words tell a story about you to your family. Don’t let fear hold you back because, God’s Love will encourage you forward.
It’s time to get out of the “comfortable destructive zone”. Taking an honest look at relationships that are chaotic, and crisis centered is the first step for making changes that will bring peace and joy in your family relationships and it is possible!!! Change is not easy, it's necessary to have the family you've always wanted!!!
Often times we parents can focus on one aspect of parenting such as providing for a child’s physical needs: food, shelter, clothing…while unintentionally neglecting the emotional, spiritual, and mental health needs that guide a child to be a healthy functioning adult. It's never too late to refocus, if I could do it so can you!
Healthy anger is essential to keep us safe ,on the other hand, out of control anger is destructive. Parenting is not easy and can definitely trigger the worst in a parent. The truth is these maladaptive coping skills is like a mirror to our soul showing us what needs to be changed.
How can I fail as a parent? That’s certainly a question I would guess nobody asks, but in many ways we unintentionally do. Are you disillusioned, and overwhelmed in your role as a parent? Do you feel like a failure? No worries, God created the roles of parents and he has the plan for you to be an effective parent your children need. Learn from me, my failures your success!!!
There’s no such thing as the Perfect Parent but, and here’s THE ‘BUT’ we can be the “Perfecting Parent” on a journey of discovering and gathering information to practice skills we can develop, modify and adjust to be the parent God has called us to be thus receiving the joys and satisfactions of being the parent you are called to be. “Raising Mother’s” Empowerment/Transformation Coach www.ashleykahn.co
Resources:
Raising Mother By Ashley Kahn Podcast
freeasabird.libsyn.com
“Raising Mother’s” Empowerment/Transformation Coach Ashley Kahn www.ashleykahn.co
Dream Blankets
https://frankie-dean.com/
Often times we believe our job as a parent is to “fix” what’s wrong or broken as we see our children acting out in behaviors that make us uncomfortable and uneasy. This perspective can be a source of stress, anxiety and depression. But what if there was another perspective on the ‘duties’ of a parent that can guarantee more peace, love and patience. This episode we will dive into a parent’s ‘fixing’ trigger and learn to refocus our attention internally rather than externally.
Resources:
Raising Mother By Ashley Kahn Podcast
freeasabird.libsyn.com
“Raising Mother’s” Empowerment/Transformation Coach Ashley Kahn www.ashleykahn.co
Dream Blankets
https://frankie-dean.com/
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Have you experienced trauma as a child or adult? Most of us have, just living in an imperfect world with imperfect people makes us susceptible to trauma in our lives. Did you know that unhealed trauma can disguise itself in maladaptive coping skills manifesting itself in how we parent. Unhealed trauma can show up as rage, anger, abuse, anxiety, depression, addiction….As parents and grandparents we want to begin to develop healthy coping skills that manifest in healthy parents who manage their emotions, as they provide the nurturing and support their family needs.
Resources:
Raising Mother By Ashley Kahn Podcast
freeasabird.libsyn.com
“Raising Mother’s” Empowerment/Transformation Coach Ashley Kahn www.ashleykahn.co
Dream Blankets
https://frankie-dean.com/
Connection is the key to influence in any relationship but especially when it comes to parenting. Like a plug without an outlet, parents who aren’t able to connect with their children will experience devastating consequences such as rebellion, addiction, trauma… As relational human beings we are created to connect with our primary care takers. When that doesn’t happen everyone loses with painful results. Learn how to begin the process of connecting with yourself, your child and your family and experience the freedom to be the parent you were created to be.
Resources:
Raising Mother By Ashley Kahn Podcast
freeasabird.libsyn.com
“Raising Mother’s” Empowerment/Transformation Coach Ashley Kahn www.ashleykahn.co
Dream Blankets
https://frankie-dean.com/
To say we don’t have barriers in our relationships from fears, expectations and judgements is to not be honest with ourselves. Being a ‘perfecting parent’ requires honesty. We are not perfect parents but we can begin to be aware of barriers we have that hinder our relationship with our children and family. Taking down the barriers can be scary but also healing. Be brave and begin the process of being honest with yourself and others.
Resources:
Raising Mother By Ashley Kahn Podcast
freeasabird.libsyn.com
“Raising Mother’s” Empowerment/Transformation Coach Ashley Kahn www.ashleykahn.co
Dream Blankets
https://frankie-dean.com/
God designed families for a place of belonging and acceptance in order to grow and develop into emotional, mental and spiritual maturity. Discover the role a parent and grandparent plays in the ability for a child to form connections in their environment.
Resources:
Raising Mother By Ashley Kahn Podcast
freeasabird.libsyn.com
“Raising Mother’s” Empowerment/Transformation Coach Ashley Kahn www.ashleykahn.co
Dream Blankets
https://frankie-dean.com/
Sometimes we parents can be like robots with repetitious words and actions but little connection with our children. Learn what it means to start the transformation process of becoming a conscientious parent to start the healing process of becoming the parent you were made to be with genuine connection that influences and transforms.
Resources:
Raising Mother By Ashley Kahn Podcast
freeasabird.libsyn.com
“Raising Mother’s” Empowerment/Transformation Coach Ashley Kahn www.ashleykahn.co
Dream Blankets For Children
https://frankie-dean.com/
This season is specifically for parents. That’s you Dad, Mom and Grandparents. Becoming a parent is no doubt one of the greatest joys in life at least it was for me. At the same time, it was also the most puzzling, confusing and paralyzing time feeling depleted emotionally, physically and relationally. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There is hope, help and history is a great teacher.
This season my daughter, Ashley Kahn, a “Mother’s Empowerment Coach” will be sharing foundational truths that will transform you and the trajectory of your family. This is one of those “I wish I knew then, what I know now” moments. You will not want to miss an episode. Listen attentively, be prepared to take action, and ultimately experience the ‘joys’ of parenting at any stage of life. Don’t miss an episode subscribe today and share it. Your fellow parents will thank you.
Resources:
Raising Mother By Ashley Kahn Podcast
freeasabird.libsyn.com
“Raising Mother’s” Empowerment/Transformation Coach. Ashley Kahn www.ashleykahn.co
Dream Blankets For Children
https://frankie-dean.com/
I believe God created me, you and your child. As the Creator he “knows” your bundle better than you do. The problem is once we become parents we believe we “control” all aspects of their development placing a heavy burden to be ‘perfect’ parents If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, confused and defeated you’re in the right place.
As parents we can lighten the load, begin to trust God, release our counterfeit ‘control’ and seek God to provide patience, and wisdom to be the ‘skin’ your child desires for connection to effectively and gently guide and direct.
Resources:
Raising Mother By Ashley Kahn Podcast
freeasabird.libsyn.com
“Raising Mother’s” Empowerment/Transformation Coach Ashley Kahn www.ashleykahn.co
Dream Blankets
https://frankie-dean.com/
Our expectations of our children can cause conflict in the relationship. It’s not uncommon for us to compare ourselves to other parents and compare our children to other children. Parents can easily feel like failures, yet we know all families have their own struggles. The good news is as we change our beliefs and our expectations we begin to heal ourselves and our thoughts transform with a desire to "connect" with our children rather than expecting perfection.
Resources:
Raising Mother By Ashley Kahn Podcast
freeasabird.libsyn.com
“Raising Mother’s” Empowerment/Transformation Coach Ashley Kahn www.ashleykahn.co
Dream Blankets For Children
https://frankie-dean.com/
Our relationships, problems and troubles in life are a test of our character. God’s word reveals the perfect character of God and reflects the truth of what’s ‘in’ us for the purpose of correcting and guiding us into right living. God’s Word is meant to transform our actions, thoughts and attitudes. “You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.” James 1:24
Pleasure is the manifestation of purity, as in the precious metal of gold. Likewise spiritual purity is pleasurable to God and you and I!!! Time and patience in the midst of our trials will bring ‘joy’ as we begin to shed our out of control behaviors, self centeredness, and our will for God’s will to live a life of integrity here on earth! “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you”. James 1:27
Jesus came to save you and I from our destructive mind, will and emotions, all centered in our “souls”. God’s word changes our heart when we ‘peer’ into it with eagerness to transform our character, our souls, into spiritual maturity that makes us perfect and complete. “But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.” James 1:25
Do your words reflect the person you want to be? Our words tell a story of what’s in our hearts. We can deceive ourselves by our fancy words and knowledge of God’s Word without being transformed from the inside out. “If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are filling yourself and your religion is worthless. “ James 1:26
As children of God we are to reflect God’s image in our character, our behaviors, thoughts, and attitudes. Glancing at God’s Word is not enough to change us from the inside out. Trials and troubles help us to recognize what behaviors and attitudes need adjustments.
“For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror”.
James 1:23
Have you ever lied to yourself? It’s easy to do, especially when we spend our time presenting ourselves to the world with our successes, appearance, finances. Spending time with God will reveal truth with the love you and I need to be the man or woman God has planned for you to be. “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. “ James 1:22
Life can be difficult battling our own will, knowing we are in a spiritual conflict, yet having difficulty changing our destructive behaviors. The Good News is we don’t have to do it on our own. Jesus is alive and ready to gently guide us to the path of peace. Our part is to humbly accept the word. “So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. “ James 1:21
When anger is out of control, it’s time to slow down, because anger can cause a domino effect of resentment, bitterness, substance use, not to mention broken relationships. If we want to experience love, joy and peace in our life, learning to practice patience will develop in us the fruit we need to live the ‘abundant life’.
“Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires”. James 1:20
Getting to ‘know’ our spiritual Father starts with listening before we speak. Becoming a new creation in Christ is a journey of becoming like a child learning to trust, respect and honor God. It all begins with seeking to ‘understand’ and becoming a good listener getting to ‘know’ your father’s voice.
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry”.
Knowing “God is Good”, is one thing, living like “God is Good”, is the challenge. We need to remember as children of God, we have been “chosen” by the Creator of the Universe. God’s power lives within every believer to overcome challenges, addictions, and problems in our life. Learn to live like you are his ‘prized possessions’.
“He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.”. James 1:18
On the one hand trials and conflicts in life can feel like being in a dark valley. On the other hand, the only way to mature and grow is in the valleys. You will see the light as you cling to God’s Goodness where you will confidently experience the abundance of God’s presence and protection. “Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow”. James 1;17
Lying to ourselves can be a habit we’ve perfected to the point we aren’t able to discern reality from fantasy. Deception is real and our enemy the devil is a master at it. Learn what the Bible says about being deceived. Deception can be a distraction from continuing to grow and mature and self deception can be the culprit.
“So don’t be misled, my dear brother and sisters”. James 1:16
Are your relationships in chaos? Are you having difficulty navigating life and disappointed with where you are at this time in your life? Learn how sin affects your relationship with God and others. “These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.” James 1:15
Our internal conflicts with lust and pride can give us a clue on how much we sacrifice God’s treasures, in the pursuit of pleasure. Learn how you can overcome your internal and external conflicts and receive all that God has for you. “Temptation comes from our own desire, which entice us and drag us away.”. James 1:14
When facing difficulties, it’s ‘tempting’ to blame God for ‘tempting’ us. In God’s love, he allows you and I to face trials for us to see what’s in our nature. It’s for our benefit we are being confronted with an honest evaluation of what we’re really like.
“And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me”. God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else”. James 1:13
Are you secure in your position with Christ? How has it affected how you feel about yourself? Do you have full confidence as a child of God you will endure whatever trial comes your way? Learn how taking on God’s perspective of yourself will reap blessings.
“God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12
The heart, at the center of our being, is what drives our emotions and desires that direct our ‘will’ toward action. It is tempting to have a heart driven toward success in many areas including financial prosperity. Having a heart set on ‘success’ by way of possessions and achievements can create a false sense of security. The problem with a heart set on what we can visibly see is that is can visibly vanish too. Being honest about where our heart is today is the beginning of true blessings that will last. Where is your heart today? “The hot sun rises and the grass withers: the little flower droops and falls and it’s beauty fades away. In the same way, the rich will fade away with all of the their achievements.” James 1:11
Being “Fixed On Change” will bring a temporary barrenness in your journey. Humble obedience allows God to clean out the unproductive soil to be replaced with new fertile soil to produce Godly character which is our hope. It won’t always feel good and you may feel distant from God at times. Having the mind set of a child to humbly trust God is in control and the outcome will be good requires perseverance to complete the work God has begun "in" you. “And those who are rich should boast that God has humbled them. They will fade away like a little flower in the field.” James 1:10
Humility, abundance, God, addiction, wise, provision, barren, rich, poor, teach, serve, love, trials, dependence, grateful, foolish, character, trust, fail
Do you feel an emptiness? That feeling that something is missing in your life is real and there’s a reason for it. Only God can fill you completely and make you whole. Learn the value of being poor physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally to experience ‘divine joy and happiness’ in the midst of difficult circumstances. “Believers who are poor have something to boast about, for God had honored them.” James 1:9
Chaos, instability and confusion are not God’s ways. God’s perfect will is found in His Word. If we want to have direction, peace and stability in our lives meditating on God’s Word is the way to go. Learn how meditation can be transformational in your life. “Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do”. James 1: 8
As Christians we can say, “I love God”, but do our lives reflect our trust in God? Do we ‘worship’ God alone? Or is alcohol, drugs, other people, money, a career the god or god’s we really worship? God is true to His Word, when He promises he will deliver. When we fulfill the condition it truly is “simply simple” to believe, but we make it more complex than it us because our will fights it. “Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.” James 1:7
Trusting God for our circumstances can be difficult. At times, when we think we know better. At other times, we think He’s not working fast enough. Learn what it means to give your situation to God and leave it at His feet. He’s worth waiting for. “But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. “James 1:6
Are you independent, interdependent, codependent or dependent? Learning to effectively balance all ‘dependents’ provides the wisdom we need to navigate through life’s conflicts and it starts with total dependence on God in order for our conflicts to produce change 'in' us. “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking”. James 1:5
Spiritual fitness is not on the forefront of our minds, but it is on God’s agenda. Developing endurance is the fundamental component of resilience: the ability to adapt to adverse circumstances. Hope for the child of God is recognizing the purpose of trials is to produce spiritual maturity. “So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing”. James 1:4
The character of God’s son, Jesus, is one of humility and strength likewise God wants all of his children to “Stand Strong”, staying connected to overcome and learn from our trials. Why? The Bible promises ‘joy’ for those are strengthened in the trials. A relationship with Jesus is the only relationship that can overcome addictions, traumas, PTSD, depression and so much more. “For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow”. James 1:3
Troubles and problems in life are inevitable. As believers we are equipped with everything we need to ride tumultuous waves to experience “Joy” in the midst of difficult circumstances. James, a leader in the church, encourages and teaches us how we are to respond to ‘trials’. “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.”. James 1:2
Leaders are followers. Learning to follow before we lead is a step in humility and a difficult one at that. As James points 'the way' to a life of abundant blessings, we follow even when the road is difficult at times, trusting God at His Word. “This letter is from James a slave of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ. I’m writing to the ‘twelve tribes”, Jewish believers scattered abroad”. James 1;1.
Are you ready to change the trajectory of your life? The Bible is our “instruction manual for life”. Life is difficult when we decide to live it apart from God, however if we decide to whole heartedly follow God, our internal and external conflicts will have a purpose and that is to mature mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Ready to live a life that is filled with mental clarity, emotional strength and spiritual maturity? Follow me as we journey through the first chapter of the book of James. Guaranteed to change your life for the 'good' because "God is Good".
Understanding our limitations, with honesty and commitment to change both mentally and emotionally, is the beginning of discovering “interesting insights” about ourselves. As the work of being “Fixed On Change” continues, our weaknesses will become our strengths.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am a Christian woman of God with a passion to teach biblical principles, in a way that people who are curious about making God part of their life can practically understand how to live out the Christian faith.
This episode I will share who I am.
“If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you!”. Fred Devito The benefits of facing a problem, a challenge or a conflict in our lives strengthen our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being. Troubles and problems in life have a purpose. Find out how?
Have you ever felt alone, even though you are surrounded by people? Have you ever felt that life is unfair? Have you ever compared your life to that of others? Unfairness in life is all over the Bible. You’re in good hands. Learn how God weaves challenges in our life to fulfill his purpose turning challenges into opportunities!!
Don’t let life pass you by another day without understanding why spending time in the presence of God is the power you need to change the trajectory of your life. Do you want to believe? Then it’s time to receive His Peace and Grace as He begins to drastically transform you from the inside out!!
As a Christian, you have the “Helper” AKA: The “Holy Spirit” alive within you available to help you to fulfill your purpose here on this earth as you become free of everything that holds you back from living a full, satisfying life like addictions, bitterness, unstable emotions, anxiety. …If you ever feel powerless, today you will learn how you can be empowered.
Our perception of God can come from a variety of sources such as parents, friends, care givers, teachers, pastors and any other person, or book… Who you believe God is will have everything to do with your ability or inability to give and receive love, forgive and trust yourself as well as others, and so much more. The Bible gives us everything we need to learn about the character of a Loving, Forgiving, Merciful God to change the trajectory of your life!
Sometimes situations get worse before they get better. If you’re in that predicament right now, it’s not the time to give up no matter how tempting it may be. Perseverance is a strength in character. It teaches us to stick to the goal despite the difficulty and we learn the skills needed to overcome failures and reach a goal. Press ON!
Our past failures can rid us with guilt and shame that keep us from moving forward in freedom. Paul was the persecutor of Christians and yet God called him to spread the Good News of Salvation. God’s Love is transformational. God has a purpose for you as much as he did for Paul. No matter what your past is colored with, only God can make you clean and whole!!
Pride says, “I can do it on my own”. Humility says, “I am willing to listen and learn”. One of the most difficult things for us to do is “Ask For Help”. If you have asked Jesus in your heart, you have “the helper” aka: The Holy Spirit living in you. Learn what it means to be equipped and empowered to be the man or woman you were created to be!! You’re never alone you have a ‘helper’.
Song: “Less Like Me”: Artist: Zach Williams
Is your life turning out the way you thought it would? Are you feeling powerless or like a failure as a parent, partner, or human being? We all hit a wall in our lives that can become the turning point at which we change directions to become the man and woman we are created to be. This wall may be your opportunity for change. Find out how and “Be Empowered”.
Unhealthy relationships within the family can play havoc on each members ability to be resilient in the face of adversity. Destructive behaviors as codependency, alcoholism, perfectionism, out of control behaviors, passive-aggressive communication... and more contribute to a weak foundation of unhealthy relationships. Strong families take intentional work to build upon and it’s never too late to shore up the foundation in your home.
Powerful emotions have a purpose. We are meant to feel every pleasant and unpleasant emotion. The problem us many of us have not learned to regulate our emotions. When emotions dictate our behavior we become like a wild fire out of control destroying everything and everyone in our path. A man or woman who has learned the value of emotions will have healthy relationships that walk with self respect and earn the respect of others.
Caught in a cycle of chaos, unhealthy choices, or disappointed with your life in general? Self sabotage is a real dilemma, but it’s not a destiny. You can break the cycle and release the chains that keep you stuck. Learn how to break the chains that keep you tied to the Same Old Prison.
Music: “Chain Breaker” by Artist: Zach Williams
Struggling with difficult relationships? Are you in a cycle of chaos? Resentments breed addiction and lead to a life of destruction, like a tornado wiping out any beauty in your life. While resentments ‘feel’ empowering, they are actually disempowering. Can’t seem to let go? Learn what it means to be empowered and what it means to have a life ‘worth living’.
We learn from a very early age what it’s going to take in order to get what we need in life. What we need is nurturing, belonging and love from our family. When a child is scolded and shamed they learn to follow the rules resulting in a loss of identity, at the mercy of other people, often leading to anxiety and depression. Learn how to break the codependent cycle.
Parent’s, children, and partners…often disappoint our expectations of the ideal relationship we fantasize about. The good news they were never meant to be the ultimate satisfying relationship. The only One who is perfect in Love is Jesus. You and I were created for perfect Love and Jesus is the only one who accepts you as you are, flaws and all, now that's unconditional love!
Perspective can either cloud our vision or allow us to see clearly God's plan when we encounter problems. The journey may seem like a battle but in God's hands we come our victorious. Learn how to see life's difficulties from God's perspective.
Song: Battle Belongs: Phil Whickam
Safety is one of our basic needs. Understanding the need for an environment that allows one to process feelings can be the solution to relieving emotional pain with addictive substances. Learn the importance of 'feeling' feelings.
Our past mistakes and failures can haunt us and prevent us from learning, growing and changing. Debbie will encourage you to not only forgive yourself but also forgive others too for your own well being.
Song: "Sparrows" Cory Asbury
Relationships can be difficult when there are trust issues. God invites us into a relationship with Him, however our perception of God's character may be the reason it's difficult to trust Him fully. Debbie will inspire you to trust in the only relationship that fulfills every need as you get to know the true character of God.
Change takes courage, a virtue most are not willing to develop. You will be inspired to embrace the challenge to change as an opportunity to become the man or woman of integrity, authenticity and honesty.
Getting real and honest with yourself and others, is not only healthy, it’s the only way to truly live a life of freedom. You will be encouraged face your fears for the beauty of humility, vulnerability and lovability that will improve the quality of your relationships.
Matthew West: Truth Be Told