The Attic Breakdown: Recent Episodes
Angela, Heather & Danielle
Jordan’s inflamed brain, twerking chickens, awkward potatoes, and Dr. Mulan. Romanoff trivia, happy hauntings, JT backed money, and also Steve may not be funny.
Deaf doctors, a haired guy, 24 inches down, and space boners. Sexy lions, shitty mama bears, indigenous Scott’s, handsy bra fittings, and also Jordan’s sorry.
Knee lifts, Ben's first cameo, Lasik propaganda, and tampon bait. Vice Presidential eyeliner, a faux hawk crisis, crotch catch, and also Heather’s disobedience.
Guess who’s back, lightning crotch, sock wipes and slippery cheeks. Apathetic concern, Olympic indifference, Heather’s personality transplant, and also stressful phone numbers.
RIP Rosalynn, puffy pods, and kitten CPR. Lockjaw fright, befuddling braziers, gerrymandering, and also Angela’s jarred urine.
The hates, bedtime wedges, Jordan’s party foul, and Angela’s dead face. Creepy pen pals, forgotten gifts, 3 thank yous, and also a rousing game of 21 questions.
Rubbers, healing linen, and a volcanic heat wave. Trench foot, lobster rights, R.I.P. Weston, and also Viking ice baths.
Attitude alert, twenty undies, musty trauma, and depressed magicians. Monster families, car poison, electric windows, and also bullsh*t thermometers.
Water > milk, the only three periods of time, a composer faceoff, and smooth knee pits. Gratuitous boobs, nude chain-smoking, and also Heather's unresponsive solar plexus.
Tuscan grope timers, stick horses, and gnarly birthing baths. Airport amputations, playground parakeets, and also low-voltage chakra vibrators.
Sciency websites, hypertensive crystal experiences, clearing the 8th hole, and the 5 religions. No but yes, vomit on your sweater, uh-huh, and also a tempur-pedic phone bed.
Ghost poops, golf game, shark slides, and Christian camp swimwear. Retired hot girls, methylated b’s, absorbent crackers, and also, new age goggles.
Full-grown clowns, Horror (Whorer) Conventions, and fruit loops with warm milk. Tooth breaking Takis, perfectly purple ping-pong paddles, and also may there be two sets of footprints in your sand.
Numbering the holes, a bullsh*t linen closet, expired antibiotics, and projectile butt plugs. 8 Strapping men and a come-along, toothbrushing hazards, how are we even alive, and also Crocs with tha fur.
Transcendental bacon, marked “safe” from puffer fish, and edgy roses. Sink holes, adults riding bikes, tainted mustaches, and also a very sticky pouch.
Hundred and oneth, death or eternity, geriatric dancing, and how do you insert an tampon? Observation expert, knocking the top off it, front tuck protocols, and also out of the shell peanuts.
A strategic love match, cursing professionals, a lot of stair climbs, and Boeing porn. Chandelier babies, succinct prayers, unapproved Papyrus, and also Danielle knows some things about ears.
The sickies, Josiah’s crackers, old man hoops, and Lenny’s cool factor. Laughter is the second best medicine, panicky bank withdrawals, Spring Break breakdown, and also a license to shave.
Vomit Pajama, Great Grandpa's nap breaks, rolling around in diseases, and standing up podcasters. Late model cheese, days of yore, ass towels & poop sponges, and also how do you pour up?
Turkey drop, sexy jawlines, recycled drums, and a Lego bombing. Robot shadows, Danielle’s anatomy demonstration, move over Rose, and also Heather gets a dental device.
The scent of garlic, shocking foot grabs, it’s a shame about people, and are you pregnant? Laws of attraction, submarine shenanigans, silent bunnies, and also let’s learn about fowl!
Use your eyes, measuring the Earth, Jordan might be interesting, and what is the biggest tire? Test driving chat-bots, Jimmy Carter says “hello”, a bag in a tree, and also don’t wash your ear holes.
Running an orange light, insensitive crop tops, mental floss, and babysitter shock. “P” is for penis, reckless streams, mouth control, and also Angela’s residual rasp.
Down volcanoes, wives like glass, Listerine damage, and attic foreskin. Angela’s secret football life, double knot fury, shoeless and braless, and also spontaneous blankets.
Limited commitment, award fails, tavern tales, and you can't escape the heat. Killer "F's", a pressured performance, and also how do volcanoes even work?
Limited commitment, award fails, tavern tales, and you can't escape the heat. Killer "F's", a pressured performance, and also how do volcanoes even work?
An overdue apology, oral erosions, flammable baby pants, and the Warlocks of Walmart. A boozy Christmas, bothersome hands, overrated coconut balls, and also the answer is “no”.
Slippery Solo cups, a double bunny life, sexy chapel vibe, and Heather’s top hat. Trial by social media, chocolate monkey butts, Charlie’s finger, and also please quit stimulating your nipples.
Sister-grandma, hairy raisins, RIP Tommy, and oozing personalities. Denim spleen injuries, ghostly scratches, the implosion of Ye, and also fighter pilots nailing the car washes.
Hipster cyclists, hot meals, and competent handymen. Exploring regrets, a lingering handshake, the real MVP, and also the one glass of wine guide to parenting.
Gratuity coercion, tequila misgivings, time changing babies, and podcast cash flow.
Scary house discoveries, Jordan's unexpected kindness, privileged starvation, and also how to retract your material.
Rogue hairs, glossy pages, dry tips and capillary quit. Kidney stone misconceptions, Top 10 Tay Tay, primal rotisserie, and also holding hands with your foot.
Feet that gave up, basic LASIK, and emoji etiquette. dismissive “k’s”, period fights, random bleeding, and also agreeable arguing.
We understand letters, Vegas payback (smote my God), barnacles with friends, and Angela clotheslines herself. Apocalypse training, Venmoing outer space, Jordan’s rhymes, and also amputees on railways.
Heather’s beef with chicken, energy drink evolution, and inky commitments. Triggery baggage and the love yucks, a puzzling spring break, and also transportation menstruations.
Popper face cream, lazy-mouthed people, call me Claire, and accosting Adele. Uzbekistani Chickpeas, Eataly in Italy, revisiting the fair, and also congregating rabbits.
Refreshing pours, celebrity SAT's, swearing slip ups, and a fevered Santa inquiry. Disappearing noses, Octopus heart, and also doing bad bathroom.
Awkward aisle encounters, wing mom, and a bone to pick with RDJ. Reckless podcasting, inky tantrums, a nude satellite attack, and also sinful butts.
Crock pot evolution, salmon chunks, Matthew Gravy, and maxed out followers. Daddysitters, floating freezers, the glad game, and also mind your own business.
Shirtless septuagenarians, security tissues, and bedtime blanket watching. Backwards Branson, species vs. feces, Jordan gets re-born, and also is lewd nude?
Henry's magical paintbrush, canine moisture strips, dangling teets, and the Santa shimmy. Soothing egg cartons, cobras and tigers, and also our successful striving.
Joined at the hip, lazy pumpers, the honor system, and missing waiting. Renouncing the Mayflower, flying monkeys, justice comeuppance, and also a brunchy hangover.
Topography struggles, sparkling water, and 500 f-bombs, Heather’s local bar, and the Anniversary blazer. The gospel of Hamilton, homeless not toothless, Breaking Bad, and also half opened bottles.
Party pressure, doubting Depp, MPG stats, and 2-footed drivers. Popped sequins, laughing away the pox, and also Angela’s sensual page turning.
Road trip roadblocks, tire pressure trials, and who names their kid Claude? Melatonin meltdown, mattress armholes, contact toss, and also thirsty pheromones.
Murderous mammals, voracious vultures, off-roading coolers and 2-inch articles. Moldy butts, paper crop tops, fashionable armpits, and also an inconvenient flight.
Bike short announcement, bootleg lenses, stealing tow trucks, and our famous neighbor. Overly-tight swaddles, a graveyard of facts, dum-dum boats, and also galactic screen savers.
The nature of a biscuit, parenting peak, compromised soup scoops, and unexpected catfish bait. Name that model, the right to be cranky, and also Heather’s senior center letdown.
Revenge elephants, sophisticated VCRs, the brink of insanity, and Heather doesn’t ever think about Hawaii. Environmental shrinkage, farewell tomatoes, plants vs. humans, and also where on earth is the cloud?
Jordan’s fixed mindset, jubilee holographs, thoughts on the founding fathers, and don’t say “we”. Hungry rescue rats, the power of “unsend”, unpopular cheerleader opinions, and also Aquaman is the worst.
Henrietta meow cat, MTG’s peach tree meat, and heat strokes + tequila shots. Who’s smart, a randy bang, seasonal babies, and also a lesson on dung.
Birthday apathy, memory lapses, new shoe alert, and is Danielle’s back on the juice? Drain the swamp, multiple choice monkeypox, and also my parents’ parents are my grandparents.
Sock-slip, baby haze, catch phrase confusion, and fat shaming tweakers. Blue laws, coffin knocks, pink medicine, and also a VERY vocal Brad Pitt.
Delivery day, wilderness cooking, tv binge, and tots running errands. Team mega pint, 2 Target carts, crypto confusion, and also grocery store stamps.
Leg spikes, Jordan’s annoyance, giggly weed, and peptide boosters. Chokey Dum-Dums, dental danger, insecurity flare-ups, and also a jump roping sister.
Man curves, full nudal frontity, and name that bodily fluid? Early-late 30’s, pub funerals, surgical magnet blob, and also Jordan and Angela share a cry.
Precarious sandwiches, frosting hits, constipated debates, and a cranky uterus. Paralyzing darkness, a rabid fox, bitchy bookends, and also blowhole skylights.
Staple angle, flamingo 492, feminine juniors, and new oceans. Abdominal shark hand, tractors & kimchi, and also rando granny casseroles.
Tornado tales, toenail real estate, and creepy whistles. Who’s a fella, wilderness burial, and also basketball for dummies.
The 5th degree, abominable twins, and fertile road kill. Reversed sex, liquid vision, mushroom coffins, and also Dropout Dolly.
Toilet paper panic, time management issues, and Jordan’s coddled anus. Trinity River Acquisition, Soviet show cats, cranky eyes, and also the business of church.
Curbside coffee returns, sturdy water jugs, and what’s that chainsaw for? Botched baptisms, hot for Halle Berry, backyard crypts, and also how do trees work?
Panning for gold, microphone microbes, and a darker Saget saga. Peanut butter people, soggy tacos, hung up on hangers, and also a master class in hydrodynamics.
Space burials, Jordan’s flowy gown, bodiless heads, and a mannequin romance. Hip-Hop interrogation, wing sweats, ValentiMes Day proposals, and also how many “F’s” does it take to make an “E”?
Morning show realization, underage death talks, and muting the vent-a-hood. Eloquent Colbert, Cuban for President, beautiful garbage, and also let's all sing for the gold!
Wordle faux pas, patinaed knives, clop-clip, and re-brand cutoff. Fitness stink eye, under-appreciated bridges, Kirk & Al squared, and also dying…twice.
The fight, Ukrainian confusion, Lithuania Airlines, the misuse of “also”, and no one knows war profits like Danielle. Angela’s creepy bulletin board, unplugging Christmas, fatty blood, 7 men in a cave, and also, how to muzzle a shouting bellybutton.
Ordering etiquette, sober birthdays, concert poultry, and toxic positivity. Jordan's tiny towel, a shady massage, thread count confusion, and also Angela fears the left turn.
Shareable Afrin, immeasurable outcomes, bitchy diary entries, and why is Danielle such a dweeb? A phlegmy decline, trendy lip flips, fantasy camping, Heather’s high-top tragedy, and also Gene’s generous shots.
Pandemic potty mouth, half-read articles, Heather's scent adventure, and Don't Look Up. Homework fails, seductive felines, Carol from Michigan, and also how the guy with the pipe revived his wife.
Failed bedtime prayers, hitting all time lows, and how Betty White saved 2022? Reviewing our freshman year, Mount St. Heather’s imminent eruption, and also why do you have to be so sciency?
Angela’s mouth makeover and Canada confusion. Provinces, Parishes, and Villages, oh my!!! Cinnamon science, and also, why are you gurls always so sweaty?
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Puzzled about side pieces, rock bottom pretzels, and Angela ruins a gender reveal. Death by land or sea, travel anxiety, Boyz 2 Men GOAT, and also if you want to call, just send an email.
Sad elvish goodbyes, Jordan’s character flaws, the dickish donut ask, and Heather’s infinite inbox. The JFK affect, musical entrances, and Danielle’s requested closing.
Sketchy meat, the freaky-deaky Kardashians, and what’s so great about Pete Davidson? Heather’s 7-Eleven fashion faux pas, a lottery tutorial, and also the METAmorphasis of Facebook.
Jordan’s big feelings, the value of a timer, and the Banana Boat contradiction. Stalin’s monkey army, royal imposters, Alexie's restricted play, and also should we eat out?
The doll kicked across the hall, freezy tanks, Grecian flex, naked and shamed, bones or no bones and life before cell phones. How to divide a decade: science vs math and also do you believe in miracles? Yes!
Fraudulent tax bills, testosterone averse lice, and who has the alpha womb? The dreaded return of the low-rise, and also, don't take pills from Angela.
The well-known unclimbable birch, Tripping trombones, Ray Ban scams, poop drops, and the business of pirates. Flinstones overdose, the escape to international waters, and also a disastrous closing.
Quality costume control, McKamy Manor, and Squid Game spoilers. Talking Tina, a witch’s invitation, and also explaining doggie decomp.
Original Biden or original Bush? Defensive aliens, refuse to be cancelled culture, and a Christian’s guide to sex. Also, Jordan’s cheugy sandwich selection.
Museum-ready button-downs, welcome back Seinfeld, unwarranted proctology, and does anyone have change for a trillion? Also, who shrunk the Pringles?
Heather and Jordan's trash can standoff, Uncrustable safety tips, TikTok toilet thieves, and please don’t talk about Brooks. Also, can we survive without the Real Housewives?
Thick wrists, gargantuan mums, and over the top HOCO proposals. Rock bottom lakes, and reliving the VMA’s glory days. Also, Jordan does not care about your stupid gender reveal.
Interview envy, Karen chaos, COVID controversy, and hanging onto our humanity. Also, what's your craziest carpool fantasy?
Dying to eat hotdogs, salty knuckles, and accidental ASMR. Forlorn felines and messed up maps. Also, Bjork on the mind and Heather’s Def Leppard obsession.
Jordan's phlegm, our identity crisis, and the abominable platypus. Death with dignity, milk crate mountains, and also, did a sperm cloud kill Amelia Earhart.
Our 8-legged co-host, Val vs. Brad, and who doesn't like a little sexy soot? The height of our stomachs, and also some bully-induced podcast reviews.
The Great Coffee Caper, bathing habits of the rich and famous, and the importance of Nair care. Also, where can I find the mysterious silver can?
Some magical little bits and pieces of previous recordings that tragically landed on the cutting room floor!
Jailhouse justice, schoolhouse spankings, and is Simone Biles just a real big quitter? Also, #ItsBritneyBitch!
Veterans in diners drinking coffee, I am not a robot, and is Heather drunk? Also, do shepherds still exist?
Storybook stalker mom, #FreeTheNipple, and our thoughts on bumper sticker people. The overly-handsy gameshow host, and also, Jordan's encounter with Dr. Death.
Party favor foul, celebrating cellulite, and anemia is beautiful too. Also, RIP Richard Branson?
Knees are legs too, jumping off countertops, Satanic Panic, and are all right turns alright? Also, please don't thank us with a cookie.
Attic absenteeism, intelligence vs hard work, and we assemble our zombie apocalypse dream team. Also, Heather shares her strategy for keeping her kids off of America Idol.
The fifth-born, Panama vs Pennsylvania, and our plans for interdimensional portal survival. Also, Danielle tries to pick a fight with Paris.
Please don’t sing Happy Birthday at me, and it seems our (thinning) hair is running the show. Crossfit bashing, too tired to hustle, and also smelling is overrated.
The evolution of moles, Jurassic park vs The Fast and The Furious, and are the best seats really in the middle? Also, Danielle confesses to crushing on… Jesus?
Van Gogh in 3D, roast beef bed sheets, and just how "cheugy" are we? And also, is Jordan really a BCSB?
Don’t ever tell me what to do! It takes brains to pick a lane, and clocks makes no sense. Also, are we required to do drugs at Burning Man?
Sorry not sorry, Heather's grocery aisle showdown, and ooohh that Instagram high. Also, we are out on those wrinkly little cookie intruders.
Burial vs. Cremation, rubbing stones and graveyard sleepovers. Bidets, squatty potties, and also who else needs a poop knife?
We took some time off from recording this week, so we thought we'd share with you a bit of gold that never found its way into an episode. New episodes coming soon!
Alone does not equal lonely, don't ask Angela to witness your crimes, and also could the parking garage be the eighth wonder of the world?
Your brain needs a doctor too. Jeans = enemy. Loose pills, dried contacts, and also f*@# van life!
That one time Jordan ripped Danielle's heart out, the late onset of our musical enlightenment, and also I think we just canceled Ricky Nelson.
Is 2 too many, mom guilt, one size definitely does not fit all, and also how do you kill a robot?
Growing increasingly frustrated with the attention Jordan has garnered from our listeners, the girls decide to take matters into their own hands...
What is our purpose? The 5 love languages, and also I'm gonna need you to buy me stuff.
1 year anniversary of the longest Spring Break in the history of ever, and are you also stuck in the Whataburger drive-thru?
Maybe don't buy your skincare products at Costco, and is neck replacement surgery a thing? Battling menu peer pressure, and also f*** space!
We can't TikTok. Do we suffer from imposter syndrome, and what kind of monster leaves a 1-Star rating? Can you minor in archeology? And also... #freebritney
The evolution of our "style" from Tweety Bird high-tops to Golden Goose sneakers. The pros and cons of wearing silk, 6+4 = 10, and what's the deal with Singapore?
Our slightly unhinged penchant for tidiness and how to purge with care. Anxiety, can the Enneagram help us with it, and if not will 100mg of Zoloft do the trick? Also, Heather seems to be confused about silverware.
Who the hell are we, and did we possibly grow up in a cult? Our thoughts on the merits of swearing, and also, how did Danielle almost get kicked out of a homeschool prom?