Training4Manhood: Recent Episodes
training4manhood
Guys, this is a podcast for males of all ages looking to understand what it means to be a man and live out those principles to the fullest.
Host: Dan Panetti
What is the “main thing” that you should be focused on and working toward at each stage of your life - as a young man, as a husband, father, employee? I thought about each stage and came up with the following words:
Young man - growth
Employee - integrity
Marriage - love
Parenthood - model the way, “follow me”
Also, guys, one great way for you to mature is to take your eyes off your own needs, wants and desires, and to look to SERVE others (yes, sounds a lot like Scripture and Zig Ziglar!). Dr. Jason Snyder taught on this at Prestonwood - check out his sermon Adopting the Posture of Jesus.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
Scripture tells us in Luke 2:52 that “Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and with man.” How are you growing and maturing as a man? This year, let me strongly recommend that you read good books!
The value of reading is really far more profound that many of us realize. Reading trains our brains to process information in a much more meaningful and deliberate manner, far different than when we take in information from images. Listen to this podcast and determine that this year, you’re going to read some good books!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
Last week we talked about the decision-making matrix - learning to LISTEN to God…and this week we turn our attention to the time before we make that decision - the preparation season, where we learn to wait on God as He leads and guides us! Interesting that there is a preparation time in Scripture - usually represented by the number 30, a season of maturity and growing. Scripture tells us in Luke 2:52 that Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and with man in the time before he turned 30 years old and launched his public ministry. And several other prominent figures in Scripture had meaningful preparation times as well.
So, what should you be doing in your season of preparation?
- Discipleship - Titus 2 instructs the younger men to seek godly wisdom from older men, in your season of preparation, seek wisdom from godly counsel
- God’s Word - deepen your knowledge of God through His Word - study, memorize, and meditate on God’s Word
- Serve - preparation time isn’t just “sitting on the sidelines” but is a time to grow and mature - serving others is such a great way for us to grow in the grace of the Lord who came not to be served, but to serve - follow His example!
- Pray - as you wait, you can get frustrated and anxious - share those feelings with the Lord and as you communicate with Him…He will share with you as well.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
How do you make decisions about what college to attend, what job to take, whom you should date and/or marry? Those are really important decisions and for many people, the criteria they use to make their decisions is filled with worldly wisdom about money, power, prestige…but lacking in wisdom from above!
Hopefully you will listen and learn from my own personal experience and God’s Word about how to listen to the “still small voice of God” and walk in obedience to His calling and purpose for your life.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
There is a great description of a young David - before he defeated Goliath and before he took the throne of Israel - that I believe gives us a glimpse into the character of a “man after God’s own heart.” These character qualities are not only valuable for us to consider and contemplate, but also to recognize that just a few verses before this description is made of David that God reminded Samuel that “the Lord sees not as man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).
What are those character qualities of “the heart” that were important enough for God to record and share with us today - the description of David is found in 1 Samuel 16:18 and is the topic for our discussion today:
One of the young men answered, “Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him.”
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
I am teaching through the lives and ministries of Elijah and Elisha in 1 and 2 Kings - amazing stories of God doing some “impossible” things - which made me ask, is God able to do the impossible today…in my life and circumstances? I believe the answer is YES…and you need to know and live in that truth!
One area where I have seen God do some amazing work in the lives of people is in the area of unforgiveness - that God has radically transformed a person’s perspective on a situation allowing them to forgive a person who did unspeakable (unforgiveable) things to them - but God…because they have received the forgiveness of God, they are able to forgive others. To read more about this, check out John Bevere’s outstanding book The Bait of Satan.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
When people say that America was founded on Christian principles, what do they mean? Is American “a Christian nation?” What about the “separation of church and state?”
Speaker of the House Mike Johnson has written down 7 Core Principles of Conservativism that are really the 7 Christian principles that helped found this country and give birth and direction to future generations and lawmakers. In this episode, I walk through these 7 Principles and explain why America really was founded on Christian principles and encourage you to examine the evidence for yourself.
The 7 Principles are:
- Individual Freedom
- Limited Government
- Rule of Law
- Peace Through Strength
- Fiscal Responsibility
- Free Markets
- Human Dignity
To better educate yourself on these Christian principles, let me recommend that you read The Federalist Papers and examine the writings of our early Founders themselves as well as the foundational documents of our country - The Declaration of Independence and The Constitution.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
Guys, being a dad is awesome…and an awesome responsibility. As I reflect on the journey of parenting, there are some important truths that I want to share with younger guys about some important life lessons of being a dad.
You’ll hear it often - the days are long, but the years are short. Time really does fly as a parent - so don’t miss it! The younger years, those developmental/formational years of your child’s life are paramount - and I know your work outside the home is important, but your work inside the home is even more valuable! Men, be involved and connected to your family. My friend Ricky Chelette always says that kids need three things from their dad - affection, affirmation, and attention. Those are vital to the development of your children!
Also, I just wrote my first book about the importance of making sure that you focus your time, energy, and attention on the spiritual formation of your children. Temporary things, like sports and academics, demand so much attention and easily consume all of our focus and energy - but building your child’s character and spiritual life are the most important job you have as a dad!
Anyway, hopefully some good content delivered in this one for younger dads wanting to be the best dads they can be!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Kelly Cassels
What should you be doing today to be able to celebrate a meaningful Father’s Day in the future? I had an awesome conversation with my brother-in-law Kelly about how to move past the anger and hurt from the past to a place of experiencing the joy of being a dad with a family that loves and appreciates you!
Kelly and I both agree that the most important thing you can do is to get your life right with the Lord - to accept the free gift of forgiveness and salvation made available through His only and only Son Jesus Christ! Once that relationship has been forged, then prayerfully ask God to help you be the man that He has created and designed for you to be - and be ready to see God at work!
And Scripture tells you how valuable a meaningful relationship of an older man with a younger man is to the wellbeing of both! Titus 2 tells us that an older man should be teaching younger men. If you’re an older guy, look to discipline a younger man. If you’re a younger guy, find an older man walking with the Lord and glean wisdom from him.
And finally, just a word of encouragement to that older guy who looks back over his shoulder and sees a wake of disappointment left behind - today is the day of salvation and transformation - God isn’t done with you yet! Surrender your life to the Lord and ask God to restore the years the locust has eaten - and see what He will do!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Parker Panetti
Great conversation with my son Parker about the biblical themes and allusions to Christ in the movie The Sheep Detectives. Fun to watch and listen to everything through a biblical worldview lens - helps discern truth from error and see all stories as pointing to THE great story of Jesus Christ!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
A good definition of a man is a male (God designed) that is doing manly things! What are those manly things - go to God’s Word and see what things He tells you that men should be doing - in many ways, God paints a picture for us of what a man is - a fortified city, a strong tree, a pillar, a soldier, a steward…and you can learn from those pictures what characteristics God’s Word is teaching you about manliness.
Game Plan:
- Spend time in God’s Word - seek out His definition for manliness, not the world’s.
- Spend time with godly men - build community, accountability, maturity
- Take time to assess where you are, how you can mature, what obstacles you need to overcome.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
I often get asked this question from younger couples…and for many, they are looking for the right “formula” in how to say things to better communicate with their spouse. Now, when I look at many of the world's suggestions/tools, they aren’t wrong…but these communication strategies aren’t the whole story…or even the heart of effective communication - so what is?
The key to effective communication in marriage is the condition of your heart. Is your heart fertile soil where the love for your spouse is cultivated and growing? Jesus teaches a powerful lesson about the condition of your heart in Matthew 13 and the Parable of the Sower.
Your heart is either hard and surface, shallow and rocky, filled with thorns and weeds, or fertile and nourishing. Work on the condition of your heart…and your communication will grow and flourish as your heart grows and matures.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Dr. J. Josh Smith, Senior Pastor, Prince Avenue Baptist Church
I have really enjoyed the writing of Josh Smith. His earlier book The Titus Ten: Foundations for Godly Manhood was an excellent read and a great resource for men’s groups wanting to dig deeper into the Word of God and life together.
His most recent book is The Man for the Day: Answering the Call to Godly Manhood and it is a much more personal look at the daily walk with the Lord for men - it is both challenging and encouraging at the same time - again, a great resource for men’s groups or for men to read as individuals.
In this second episode, Josh talks about the importance and process of repentance, such an important tool for every man wanting to get closer to the Lord. He also shares that one of the most dangerous things is a man with uncontrolled anger. Josh is calling on men to be bothered by the things that bother God…and to respond to those issues with godliness. Josh also reminds us that God uses our weaknesses surrendered to Him to help mold and shape us into the godly men that He can use!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Dr. J. Josh Smith, Senior Pastor, Prince Avenue Baptist Church
I have really enjoyed the writing of Josh Smith. His earlier book The Titus Ten: Foundations for Godly Manhood was an excellent read and a great resource for men’s groups wanting to dig deeper into the Word of God and life together.
His most recent book is The Man for the Day: Answering the Call to Godly Manhood and it is a much more personal look at the daily walk with the Lord for men - it is both challenging and encouraging at the same time - again, a great resource for men’s groups or for men to read as individuals.
In this first episode, Josh helps men who feel discouraged and distant from God with practical wisdom and a plan to learn how to walk with God today - focusing on doing the small, consistent things. He also reminds us that a new work from God requires a new surrender from us - we have to actually want to trust and follow the Lord!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
From my Top Ten, here are the second five books that I have found to be a great read:
- A Practical View of Christianity by William Wilberforce
- The Bruised Reed by Richard Sibbes
- Holiness by JC Ryle
- The Prodigal God by Tim Keller
- Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices by Thomas Brooks
The “Five Categories” are:
- Family and Relationships
- Passion and Devotion
- Biblical Literacy/Discipleship
- Spiritual Disciplines/Maturity
- Cultural Awareness
- AND…Thought-provoking reads/good literature!
The importance of reading your Bible - Dr. Jason Snyder’s sermon The Book That Built America.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
From my Top Ten, here are the first five books that I have found to be a great read:
- The Godly Man’s Picture by Thomas Watson
- Life without Lack by Dallas Willard
- The Indwelling Life of Christ by Major Ian Thomas
- Serious Times: Making Your Life Matter in an Urgent Day by James Emery White
- Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp
The “Five Categories” are:
- Family and Relationships
- Passion and Devotion
- Biblical Literacy/Discipleship
The importance of reading your Bible - Dr. Jason Snyder’s sermon The Book That Built America.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
1 Corinthians 13:11 - When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
How can you mature from boyhood to manhood:
- Mature from being reactive in your speaking to reflective - thinking about what you say, why you say it, and how it will be received.
- Mature in your thinking from being stuck in the here and now to thinking about how things will impact the future
- Mature in how you reason and understand things, not with you at the center, but with Christ at the center and you playing an important role in stewarding the things that He has given you.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
Tricia and I went and saw the movie A Great Awakening - and it was incredible. The movie highlighted the fascinating friendship of George Whitefield and Benjamin Franklin and there were many outstanding history and life lessons. One of the things that the movie examined was the powerful and important letter/speech that Ben Franklin gave at the Constitutional Convention in 1787 about how “God governs in the affairs of men.”
I hope that you’ll not only see the movie, but also pause to reflect on the lessons presented - especially the idea that God governs in the affairs of men - that God is Providential. My daughter is actually reading a truly wonderful book titled Providence written by John Piper - highly recommend you get a copy for yourself and read it!
Finally, let’s take the passion of George Whitefield to share the Good News of Jesus Christ with any and everybody as a reminder to do so in our lives as well!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
This episode started with a question - “why don’t more people celebrate Easter?” I thought that was a very profound observation and it got me thinking…first about the difference between Christmas (celebrated by most) and Easter and then into some deeper questions about what many are missing because they are focused on the natural world…and missing the supernatural!
Here are links to the books I referenced in this episode:
- Old Paths: Being Plain Statements on Some of the Weightier Matters of Christianity by J.C. Ryle
- Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
- Providence by John Piper
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
In 1 Samuel 17, we read about how David was chosen to be the representative for the nation of Israel to fight against the giant Goliath. For forty days, Goliath demanded for a man to be chosen, to come down to fight him - and one day, we will be asked if we have a champion, an advocate, to stand and represent us on the most important day - the day we stand before a holy God!
As Jesus was on trial before Pontius Pilate, Pilate sends Jesus out to the crowd and says, “Behold the man.” What a powerful statement - Jesus is THE MAN - our man, our representative before God - and can you imagine having a better advocate for yourself than the Son of God?
Training4Manhood is a ministry to help equip you to be God’s man, but the most important issue is whether you have accepted the Son of God to be YOUR man! As we enter into the Holy Week in preparation for Easter weekend, let this be a time for you to consider the life and statements of Jesus - I believe that Jesus is the Son of God, sent from heaven to be my representative, my sacrifice, the payment for my sin - and I pray that you reach this same conclusion!
Choose a MAN for yourself!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
The conversation started with this line, “All you can do is live a good life and hope for the best.” I know many people believe this to be true…but is it? And is this the best we can truly hope for? It seems strange to me that we can know more about what we need to get on our final exam in our freshman English class to secure an A in the class than most people believe they can truly know about where they will spend their eternal destiny.
But, I don’t believe that God wants us to live with this insecurity and anxiety, when assurance of our eternal destiny can be known…for sure!
In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, God wants us to know that we are all born with the same spiritual condition: death. We are all separated from God because of sin. But in Ephesians 2:4-7, God tells us how we can have the assurance of our salvation - “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ - by grace you have been saved - and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.
Now that’s “Good News” - or the Gospel of Jesus Christ - that you can have the assurance of your eternal destiny WITH God made available to you paid for by the blood of Jesus on the cross! If you’ve never accepted this “free gift” (see Romans 6:23), today is the day of salvation and assurance! As Easter approaches, this truth is what Christians worldwide for centuries have been celebrating - that Jesus Christ paid the price to make men alive - transformed by His grace into “new creations” for His glory!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Campbell Panetti
If you’ve been hanging around T4M for a while, you know that we take the designation of “friend” to be very important. I often share a quote from George Washington - here it is in its entirety:
“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to appellation.”
Recently my youngest, Campbell, approached me with a new thought and addition to this conversation - he was saying that there are different levels of friends, too - that those who are your most intimate friends are your fellowship - and we see this modeled in the life and ministry of Jesus as well. Jesus had the 12 disciples, but He often took the 3 (Peter, James, and John) while leaving the others.
Apparently this concept is supported by science and research as well. According to psychologist Robin Dunbar, the maximum number of close friends that a person can have is about five people - you can have a larger circle of friends (about 15 people) and another circle of about 50…and the maximum number of people that a person can have “meaningful contact” with is about 150 people.
The last part of our conversation dealt with the idea that “friends accept each other as they are.” I don’t wholeheartedly agree with that assessment - I think Scripture teaches us that friends are important tools to sharpen and improve us, often through saying hard truths and constructive criticism. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” The only way for iron to sharpen iron is for there to be honest and open conflict/friction to remove areas of weakness or sin. Hopefully you have friends around you who are working to help you be a better version of yourself!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
My very first episode of T4M was about this idea - who is going to pick up the sock in the living room? Yes…that’s what men do - they do what needs to be done, even if it comes at a cost to them! Manhood isn’t about advancing yourself, but about using the gifts, talents, and resources that you have to advance others!
One man who embodied this concept was General George C. Marshall - and a great book that you can read to learn more about his life, work, and character is Soldier, Statesman, Peacemaker: Leadership Lessons from George C. Marshall by Jack Uldrich.
The quote about Abraham Lincoln that is attributed to Robert G. Ingersoll is “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” Awesome concept that Lincoln lived out so well.
Another great resource to learn more about the concept of humility is Andrew Murray’s classic Humility: The Path to Holiness.
And I couldn’t remember the title of Tim Keller’s awesome (and incredibly short) book on this as well - The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness: The Path to True Christian Joy. Trust me, you’ll want to read this and give copies to friends!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
In reading Mark chapters 14 and 15, you’ll discover two very different leadership “styles” - one of Jesus who modeled service, surrender, and sacrifice - and one of Pilate (Roman prefect/governor) who modeled position, performance, and power.
What do you think you embody as a leader…in your home, at work, in the community?
Some great resources to help you wrestle with these concepts are:
The Awe of God: The Astounding Way a Healthy Fear of God Transforms Your Life by John Bevere
A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society by Eugene Peterson
Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…and Others Don’t by Jim Collins
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
In Mark 14, we are told the story of Peter warming himself by the world’s fire and while he is getting comfortable, that comfort results in his conformity to the world! The question we have to ask is where are we warming ourselves by the world’s fire? Where are we making little compromises to fit into the popular opinion instead of taking a stand on what is right and true?
Sure there are great heroes who have made bold stands in the face of overwhelming opposition - and maybe you or I will be called to face that kind of decision - but most of us are faced with far less dramatic situations where we are asked to make stands for truth and the only thing is might cost us is social capital or at worst our jobs.
This world needs men who take a stand for truth regardless of the cost. Don’t warm yourself by the world’s fire…stand on the Word of God.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
Some claim that Jesus wasn’t the Messiah because they judge a rabbi (Jewish teacher) by his followers. To that I would say two things. First, be careful about ignoring the truth of a message because of the messengers. But, secondly, I would say, ok…let’s evaluate the impact that Jesus has had on the lives of countless individuals and their communities and cultures over time.
A few resources to help you wrestle with these concepts:
How Christianity Changed the World by Alvin Schmidt. Description of the book from Amazon: Western civilization is becoming increasingly pluralistic, secularized, and biblically illiterate. Many people today have little sense of how their lives have benefited from Christianity’s influence, often viewing the church with hostility or resentment. How Christianity Changed the World is a topically arranged Christian history for Christians and non-Christians. Grounded in solid research and written in a popular style, this book is both a helpful apologetic tool in talking with unbelievers and a source of evidence for why Christianity deserves credit for many of the humane, social, scientific, and cultural advances in the Western world in the last two thousand years.
Hopefully this conversation is a powerful reminder that others are evaluating what is important to you by looking at your life. If you're a follower of Jesus Christ, I hope that others can see that you've spent time with Him today!
Amazing Grace is both a movie and a book (well, it’s a song, too, written by John Newton). The book Amazing Grace by Eric Metaxas is an outstanding biography about the life and impact of William Wilberforce, credited with the elimination of slavery in England. The movie Amazing Grace (2006) stars Ioan Gruffard and Benedict Cumberbatch - find it on your favorite streaming video service.
Braveheart (1995) - incredible film starring Mel Gibson as William Wallace. Find it and watch it.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
Here are some helpful additional resources to further your Biblical worldview development:
- Biblical Worldview: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Shape the Worldview of the Next Generation by Josh Mulvihill
- What Is Wrong with the World?: The Surprising, Hopeful Answer to the Question We Cannot Avoid by Timothy Keller
- Worldview Academy resources
- Summit Ministry resources
- What’s Your Worldview by James Anderson
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Randell Holmes, Jr., college student/athlete at Texas A&M University, author of Daily Devotional for Teen Boys
Welcome back to our conversation with Randell Holmes. This week Randell starts off firing from both barrels as he challenges us to grasp the difference between what he calls “fruitfulness over faithfulness.” Many young men are more concerned with the “fruitfulness” of the things of this world - God is concerned with your faithfulness to produce SPIRITUAL fruit in your life and your community!
I mentioned the incredible book Thoughts for Young Men by J.C. Ryle and the question that Ryle asks, “Where are the godly older men?” Ryle thought there were so few godly older men because the enemy and worldly ambition bent them closer to the temporary things of this world and they never grew up tall and strong for the Lord’s service. Randell reminds us that a lot of young men don’t believe that following God is “truly worth it.” Scripture reminds us in Psalm 84:10 that it is better to be “one day” in the presence of God than a thousand elsewhere! You might ask, “Is following God truly worth it?” Randell’s challenge to you is that you’ll never know unless you truly try it. That reminds me of an incredible statement from the British author G.K. Chesterton who said, “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried.”
Our next topic of conversation brings up the idea of Christian hedonism put forth by John Piper in Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist. Piper says that God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him. Check out this article from Desiring God’s website for further explanation. Randell reminds us that Romans 8:5-6 addresses this same concept - that when our minds are set on what the flesh desires, that “mind governed by the flesh is death.” But those who set their minds on “things above” or the “Spirit” have “life and peace.”
Randell’s recommendations for this year:
- Recognize that you cannot manage sin. Sin will take you farther than you wanted to go, keep you longer than you wanted to stay, and cost you more than you wanted to pay. “Be killing sin or sin will be killing you,” John Owen.
- Make a priority to open up God’s Word. The same breath that God breathed into Adam is breathed into us through His Word.
- Find a mentor who will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
Final word from Randell - if you’re not a believer/follower of Jesus Christ - you’re missing out on God’s purpose for you! Find a good church, open the Word of God, ask some questions and get some answers about the true meaning of life!
Randell’s book is part of a 3-part series that covers young men from youth through college:
- Devotions for Preteen Boys by Randell Holmes, Jr. and Chandler Fletcher
- Daily Devotionals for Teen Boys (ages 14-16) by Randell Holmes, Jr.
- Daily Devotionals for College Men by Brett Trefren
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Randell Holmes, Jr., college student/athlete at Texas A&M University, author of Daily Devotional for Teen Boys
As a young man, Randell found his identity in football…but in college, something changed. To be honest, what changed was Randell himself. God truly got a hold of Randell’s heart, his life, his passion and his trajectory in life changed forever! Randell went from a “football player” to a young man passionately pursuing a relationship with the Lord.
Great reminder from Randell that walking with Jesus is a relationship…and for a relationship to grow and mature, it takes intentionality - time, energy, focus. If you want to get closer to God, get in the Word, spend time in prayer, and find an older, more mature Christian man to disciple you. Some guys don’t want to “get closer” to God - they are fine with “distance” because then they control the relationship - but that’s like having a Ferrari and driving it in first gear - it’s time to shift and accelerate that relationship!
What’s next for Randell - well, he’s off to an incredible place called Campus by the Sea, a Christian camp on Catalina Island in sunny California! Join me in praying for Randell and this incredible opportunity to impact the lives of others! And don’t forget to come back next week for the incredible continuation of our conversation with Randell.
Randell’s book is part of a 3-part series that covers young men from youth through college:
- Devotions for Preteen Boys by Randell Holmes, Jr. and Chandler Fletcher
- Daily Devotionals for Teen Boys (ages 14-16) by Randell Holmes, Jr.
- Daily Devotionals for College Men by Brett Trefren
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Campbell Panetti
What “tools” would be good to have developed (or at least been exposed to, be familiar with) by the time you’re 20-years-old? This is a fun and meaningful conversation with Campbell about important “life skills” - not only how these skills are developed, but what skills should we concentrate on to truly be on the road to “success” in life?
The tools/skills that we addressed in this episode:
- Have a worldview informed by the Word of God. You should have a good appreciation and knowledge of God’s Word - which should be growing and maturing every year!
- Understand how to treat a woman well. As a young man, it starts with appreciating your mom and sisters (if you have them). By age 20, you need to value and cherish the biblical role of a woman…and be intentional about developing mature relationships, including the importance of purity and influence of what you see and hear.
- Begin to grasp how powerful the impact of music is in your life. Pay attention to what influences the person you’re becoming.
- Begin to grasp that you are body, soul, and spirit - what you put into your body and mind influence the person you become. Eat well and read good books - a good goal for a 20-year-old is one book a month?!
- Stop making excuses, don’t look back, focus on where you want to go and get moving in that direction!
- Life skills to be able to take care of yourself…and begin to take care of others. Do laundry, cook a couple meals, clean up after yourself! Appreciate the small things that it takes for people to function in society!
- Understand and appreciate the meaning and importance of what a true “friend” is. You have colleagues, acquaintances, classmates, teammates - and friends. A friend is someone who has your best interest in mind and is willing to do what is necessary even if it costs them.
- Understand and appreciate the value of your time…as a resource, time is way more valuable than people think…don’t waste your time. The days are long, but the years are short.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Campbell Panetti
What “tools” would be good to have developed (or at least been exposed to, be familiar with) by the time you’re 20-years-old? This is a fun and meaningful conversation with Campbell about important “life skills” - not only how these skills are developed, but what skills should we concentrate on to truly be on the road to “success” in life?
The tools/skills that we addressed in this episode:
- Tools for spiritual formation - your faith has become your own, not your parent’s faith. You can “feed” yourself in your spiritual formation.
- You have someone pouring spiritual truth into you…and you’re pouring spiritual truth into someone else!
- Know how to work and have a strong work ethic.
- Understand the value of relationships/connections and how to build and cultivate them.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
Trust
- Psalm 127
- Isaiah 40:30
Facing the Giants movie
Tim Tebow interview with Kirk Cameron: Here’s How We Start Making a Difference
Train
- 1 Timothy 4:8
- 2 Timothy 2:15
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guests: The Entire Panetti Family!
Our family has been selecting a “Word for the Year” for quite a while and I wanted to share this process with each of you because I really believe it can be such a valuable and rewarding experience - honestly, the process of looking for the word is, in my opinion, the most valuable part - spending time in God’s Word and in prayer and expectation - asking God what He wants to do with you this year, considering ways that you can and should grow in maturity and grace, and actually reflecting on God’s goodness and provision over the past year - it’s such a rewarding and wonderful exercise for every believer! I hope that this becomes an annual tradition in your life as it has in ours.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
I believe that too many men fail to make significant and meaningful plans for the future because they either falsely believe that they are “fine” and don’t really need to change…or they’ve tried the world’s concept of temporary changes and are tired and disappointed with the lack of true purpose. Well, that is a great set up for my word for 2026 - Purpose, that I took from Psalm 57:2 where God’s Word says, “I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.”
Did you know that God Most High HAS a purpose for YOU? He does. And He wants you to know Him, know His plan, and live in such a way that you advance His purpose for your life. If you are looking at your goals for 2026 with that mindset, asking God what He wants to do in and through you, your goals will reflect a much different concept than just self-promotion.
Guys, my prayer for you is that you do the hard work of preparing yourself to truly know God…and make Him known through your life - all that you say and do would be a reflection of His goodness and glory for the world to see. Jesus told his disciples in Matthew 5 that they “are the light of the world.” I think you can agree with me that this dark world needs more lights…lights that shine brightly and point the way to the hope that is Christ Jesus! As you look at all the Christmas lights on your Christmas tree - that’s exactly what they are doing…pointing you upward toward heaven to see the true Light of the World!
Praying for you to have a Merry Christmas - and to prepare yourself for an incredible New Year - ask what God wants to do with your life…and then walk in a manner worthy of your calling in the coming days ahead!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Host: Dan Panetti
In Democracy in America, French writer Alexis deTocqueville makes the statement that democracy/liberty enables men to do “great things.” But, he also emphasizes that America’s top priority shouldn’t be producing men who can do great things, but producing “great men.” What makes a “great man”? As you consider your goals and “Word for the Year” consider what you’re pursuing - great things…or being a great man? Proverbs 22:1 tells us that a good name is to be chosen rather than great riches - so there is a choice to be made, a decision, a direction that differs between the two end goals - which will you choose to pursue?
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Psalm 57:2
I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose for me.
God is at work…what is HIS purpose for YOUR life? Don’t get caught in the comparison game of temporary things, seek the greater good of a bigger God who has designed you for His good works…and walk in them…meaning that you need to move at God’s speed, not the hurried pace of this world to enjoy God’s purposes being revealed and perfected in your life. Men, don’t miss this - your eternal rewards are tied to your eternal investments into God’s purposes for your life.
Resource Suggestions
- The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Tim Keller
- The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs
- Life Without Lack by Dallas Willard
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Is your home a peaceful and nourishing place - what can you do to make it a more inviting environment? The change you want…starts with YOU! In Jeremiah 13 there is a profound question - can an Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots? The idea is how can a person change who they are - and this is the idea that God offers you a new life, to be born again, transformed into a new creature in Christ - all amazing concepts that begin with accepting the free gift of God’s grace by faith made available through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ! From there…get plugged into a good Bible-teaching church and SERVE others - and I believe that your environment will begin to change…as you do!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Comparing Feedings of the 5000 and 4000
5000
- Jewish
- 5 could represent Torah/Law - Jewish
- 1000 could represent everyone - multiplication…
- Jewish boy had the bread - Jesus
- Crowd told to go sit on green grass - seed (Jesus) had already come to the Jews
- 12 baskets of leftovers gathered after people satisfied - represents the 12 tribes of Israel
4000
- Gentile
- In between the two stories - the story of the Syrophoenician Woman’s Faith
- Let the children be fed FIRST
- Not right to take the children’s BREAD and throw it to the dogs
- Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs…
- 4 could represent the 4 cardinal directions - NESW - to represent ALL people of the earth
- 1000 could represent everyone - multiplication…
- Disciples had the bread - they were Jewish, Gentiles didn’t have access to him yet…
- Crowd told to go sit on the ground - the seed (Jesus/Gospel) hadn’t been tossed out, taken root, and grown yet…
- Ok for dogs to sit on the ground…
- 7 baskets of leftovers gathered after people satisfied - could represent the 7 days of creation - the entire world - the Messiah is for everyone - the whole world…
Genealogy of Jesus in Matthew…
Abraham
Isaac
Jacob (twin, but Esau not mentioned, line doesn’t go thru him)
Judah and his brothers (mentioned, but not by name, line doesn’t go thru them)
Perez and Zerah (Zee-rah)
- Twins - both mentioned, by name
- Line goes thru Perez
- Why are both names mentioned?
- I think it has to do with the meanings of their names…
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Jack Cassels
Great conversation with one of my nephews, Jack Cassels, who came prepared to share how faithful God has been on his journey and some of the great life lessons he’s learned along the way. Love how Jack uses God’s Word as his guide for life and submits himself to its authority. Love how Jack has intentionally built authentic community and accountability in his life. And love how Jack loves the Lord, his family, and life! Listen and learn.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
There are so many competing voices today, how do you know which are good and right and true? Hopefully our conversation will help you learn to discern and surround yourself with godly wisdom and individuals who can help you walk in the truth!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
I really enjoyed this meaningful conversation with Chas about the power and influence of suffering and the importance of finding your true God-given identity to counter the lies from the world. We talked about the book Living Fearless: Exchanging the Lies of the World for the Liberating Truth of God by Jamie Winship and we would both highly recommend that you either take a listen or grab it and read it.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guests: Sir Duncan, William Price, Brady Taylor, Dakota Kennan, Ty Olsen, Jake Edwards, Nathan Litwiller, and Grayson Frank
This is the continuation of our conversation from last week with some of the guys from Parker’s wedding party. Last week we heard from Sir, William, Brady, Dakota, and Ty - this week we’ll hear from Jake, Nathan, and Grayson.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guests: Sir Duncan, William Price, Brady Taylor, Dakota Kennan, Ty Olsen, Jake Edwards, Nathan Litwiller, and Grayson Frank
Wow, what an exciting weekend celebrating the wedding/marriage of our son Parker. I wish we could have recorded the incredible speeches at the rehearsal dinner - funny, uplifting, encouraging, and challenging - and that got me thinking that I needed to catch the guys in Parker’s wedding party and record some of their thoughts - so, on Saturday afternoon, I tore the guys away from watching college football to record and share their thoughts and wisdom about marriage, relationships, life together with friends and family…and these young men shared some remarkable insights and wisdom.
I hope that you are encouraged as you listen - these young men are all in their mid-to-late twenties and doing life well - in a godly community, pursuing Christ, serving in their churches, loving God and others well. They haven’t bought into the lie that Biblical headship means putting others down to elevate self, or that submission means “less than.” They believe that leadership means serving and they aren’t just about talking the talk, but they are walking the walk…not perfectly, but in the grace of God and the truth of His Word.
Enjoy these two episodes of Wisdom from the Wedding Party - and be encouraged to build your own godly community of men who will strengthen and encourage you to be the best men you can be!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Mark chapter 3
As you read about the crowd that followed Jesus, Mark turns his attention to those whom Jesus called out to be His disciples - and then listened them by name. Those twelve moved from the crowd, to the CALLED-OUT - from darkness to light, from death to life - and that is my prayer for each of you. Being called out means that you have been called INTO the family of God, INTO a relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ, INTO a new identity as a child of God, and INTO the meaningful, eternal work that the Lord has prepared before hand for you to walk in!
But, Jesus also reminds us that we should “count the cost” of following Him - of moving from the crowd of interested and intrigued to the family of God. Think about what it costs those twelve disciples that we mentioned earlier - the eleven that stayed faithful to Jesus all paid a tremendous cost for their relationship with Him. But, as Peter reminds us in John chapter 6, there is no other alternative to following Jesus that makes any sense at all! As Jesus says in John 14, He is the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE - if you want access to the Father, it is available through Jesus Christ, His only begotten Son (John 3:16).
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Proverbs 27:6 - The wounds of a friend are faithful…
What does it mean to be a “friend” and why is it important to use that word with precision and clarity? I think about the biblical admonition to be a friend…and George Washington’s statement that “True friendship is a plant of slow growth that must withstand the shocks of adversity before it is given the name.” A proper understanding and expectation of what a “friend” is will be helpful in finding good friends…and being a good friend!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Dr. Steven Lytle, Sparrow House Counseling
Far too many young men struggle seeing a clear and accurate picture of God, as their Heavenly Father, because of the real or perceived shortcomings of their earthly fathers. Dr. Steven Lytle reminds us that the role of the father is to provide for this family, but it is so much more than just putting food on the table and a roof over their head. A father is also meant to provide his attention, affection, and affirmation. Listen as Steven and I discuss how men can be the best father-figures for their boys, but also how the greatest calling of every father is to point their children to the loving embrace of their Perfect Heavenly Father!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Jordan Salim, Founder and CEO of 3:23 Financial Services
The views expressed in this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered financial, investment, or legal advice. 3:23 Financial Services LLC is a registered investment adviser in the state of Texas. 3:23 Financial Services LLC is not affiliated with this podcast, and any financial advice is only provided through a formal advisory relationship with the firm.
Continued our great conversation with Jordan Salim, this time we talked about various financial missteps and pitfalls to avoid. This is helpful advice for every young man as you look to not only live well within the financial resources that the Lord has blessed you with and that you’ve worked hard for, but also as you look to be a mindful and cheerful giver meeting the needs of others and advancing the Kingdom of Heaven!
Some resources that were referenced and recommended during this podcast include the following:
Your Life…Well Spent: The Eternal Rewards of Investing Yourself and Your Money in Your Family by Russ Crosson
Every Good Endeavor: Connecting Your Work to God’s Work by Tim Keller
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Jordan Salim, Founder and CEO of 3:23 Financial Services
The views expressed in this podcast are for informational purposes only and should not be considered financial, investment, or legal advice. 3:23 Financial Services LLC is a registered investment adviser in the state of Texas. 3:23 Financial Services LLC is not affiliated with this podcast, and any financial advice is only provided through a formal advisory relationship with the firm.
Had a great conversation with Jordan about what financial “stewardship” is and what it means today. This is helpful advice for every young man as you look to not only live well within the financial resources that the Lord has blessed you with and that you’ve worked hard for, but also as you look to be a mindful and cheerful giver meeting the needs of others and advancing the Kingdom of Heaven!
Some resources that were referenced and recommended during this podcast include the following:
Your Life…Well Spent: The Eternal Rewards of Investing Yourself and Your Money in Your Family by Russ Crosson
Every Good Endeavor: Connecting Your Work to God’s Work by Tim Keller
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
1 Samuel 16:18 - David was described as “a man of good presence.” God was telling me to go back and look at that definition of “good” again - there is MORE there! What does it truly mean to be a man of good presence…listen to this episode and think through the concept of goodness, God’s design and purpose for His creation (including you and me) and if we are truly being the men that God has designed and purposed for us to be!
Referenced The Awe of God by John Bevere - check it out, powerful read.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
God’s Word speaks about the importance and value of work - we are demonstrating to a watching world the character and nature of our God when we work and are creative and use our gifts and talents for the betterment and wellbeing of others, too! Let’s appreciate that we can be rewarded for our labors - if you need an accurate description of the problems with a socialistic economic system, check out Frederic Bastiat’s The Law - great, and short, read!
Young men, now is the time to develop your biblical worldview of work - before you give yourself to a world system that will take your youthful years and leave you little to no time for developing your relationship with the Lord, your family, friends, or for taking care of others in need. The world system will reward you for sacrificing your family (and your morals) to the advancement of your career - don’t play the fool and sacrifice the eternal rewards for the temporary ones! Remember the question from Jesus in the Gospel of Mark - what does it profit a man to gain the whole world…and lose his soul?
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
If you want to know more about how divorce adversely affects children, check out Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce by Elizabeth Marquardt (with a foreword by Judith Wallerstein, author of The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: The 25 Year Landmark Study)
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guys, just got back from a wedding…and have “marriage” on my mind - wanted to share some thoughts - hopefully helpful thoughts - about the importance of marriage and how to do this powerful relationship “right.”
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Jeremiah 12:5
If you have raced with men on foot and they have wearied you, how will you compete with horses? And if in a safe land you are so trusting, what will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?
Challenge - find time to pause and reflect - assess your life, mission, purpose, trajectory in life - are you walking in a manner worthy of your calling, are you serving God’s purposes and using the gifts and talents to advance His Kingdom? Take time to dive deep into God’s Word, look for God’s wisdom and direction for your life, surround yourself with godly people to encourage and challenge you - and then live with significance and purpose, pausing frequently to assess your journey!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
1 Timothy 3:8-13
Qualifications for Deacons
Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.
Paul continues his list of qualifications for men, this time for the position of deacon, the chief servant of the family of God.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
1 Timothy 3:1-7
Qualifications for Overseers
The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.
Men, a great list from Paul written to a young Timothy about qualities for leaders in the church - should be qualities that all young men aspire to!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Gabe Boyd
Gabe and I agree that one of the most valuable things that a young (well, any aged guy for that matter) man can do is spend time in God’s Word. Why? Well, take a listen to this conversation that I had recently with my good friend Gabe Boyd about the value of knowing God’s Word in the life of a man. And we also talk about a couple practical steps that each man should take toward this endeavor - get a good Bible that you can read and understand, read it and find others to read it and discuss it with you, and find a good, Christ-exalting, Bible-teaching church to join and grow in your faith journey.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
I was listening to Pastor Jack Graham, Prestonwood Baptist Church, and he shared in his sermon on the life of David about some ways that the enemy attacks a man - he said that the enemy will use silver, sloth, sex, and self. In this episode, we’ll dive into each of these and talk about God’s perspective on each…and how to best counter the efforts to take us out!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Looking at the Book of James, there are some powerful verses in chapter 3 that share the difference between “worldly” wisdom and “heavenly” wisdom. These attributes of wisdom from above are great markers of maturity in the life of a man - and we examine each attribute in this episode. James reminds us that at the core of immaturity is self-centeredness, while the individual that plants the seed of selflessness will reap a life of peace.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
2 Chronicles 24:12 - And the king (Joash) and Jehoiada gave it to those who had charge of the work of the house of the Lord, and they hired masons and carpenters to restore the house of the Lord…
“It is a much easier thing to build a temple for God than it is TO BE A TEMPLE FOR God.” C.H. Spurgeon
A Good Start: A Book for Young Men and Women by C.H. Spurgeon
How can we BE a temple for God?
Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 5:23 that we are body, soul, and spirit - what do each of these components mean and how can we improve in each?
- Spirit
- Must be “born again” - and being made alive in Christ means that you see the rest of reality through a different lens
- Soul
- Mind - we don’t want to conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our MINDS - trained to think differently, learning to use your mind to advance the Kingdom and not just yourself
- Emotions - good indicators, bad masters - listen and learn
- Will - what are you doing that is worthy of being a child of God?
- Body
- Be careful of vanity and chasing after temporary things
- Can you serve the Lord…your family…and others in your present physical condition?
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Psalm 127
Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives sleep to his beloved.
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Ricky Chelette’s Three A’s:
- Attention - I see you
- Affection - I love you
- Affirmation - You have what it takes to be a man
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
The Book of James in the Bible gives the reader great wisdom and insight into God’s economy and how the maturity process of a believer generally works - it is usually not through ease and comfort that one grows and matures, but through hardship and difficulties - learning to hear the voice of God and trust Him through the process.
In James 1:19-20, the author tells the reader to “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Learn from the wisdom of the great saints of the faith - including Job, who learned that speaking about things that he didn’t fully understand was foolish and immature. I hope this examination of these verses in God’s Word reminds you to first connect your life to God, made available through the sacrifice of His one and only Son Jesus Christ…then, trust and obey as you walk with the Lord, learning to listen to His voice and trust His ways.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Jack Cross
Great conversation with a young man looking forward to his future and asking all the right questions about how to make sure that he keeps his priorities of God and his family at the forefront while also looking to succeed and excel in his career. Hope you enjoy this conversation - and hope it helps you to evaluate your own priorities and the decisions you’ve made - always good to take some time for self-reflection and self-assessment - and never too late to do the right thing!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Gabe Boyd
The Netflix series “Adolescence” has taken the UK and 93 other countries by storm with its powerful and problematic portrayal of the life and struggles of a 13-year-old boy who takes the life of a female classmate. In the midst of the chaos, Netflix asks, but doesn’t provide answers, to some powerfully disturbing questions - the most important being, “What is a man?”
Appreciate Gabe Boyd for helping think through this conversation - hope it’s helpful to you as well.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Greg Tuohy
“To carry a message to Garcia” is demonstrating initiative, commitment, dedication, and tenacity to a purpose. The question from this story by author Elbert Hubbard is why more men struggle to develop these vital qualities. I enjoyed reading this short and poignant book and loved finding out that the saying, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” is actually attributed to Hubbard! I hope you enjoy the conversation with Greg Tuohy about the importance of and strategy to develop these qualities of manhood!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Let's learn from the story of Rehoboam's Folly...(1 Kings 12)
- Cultivate the community of men you’re already in!
- Listen to the wisdom of God that is available to you - through His Word and His people.
- Pursue wisdom (deepen yourself)
- Connect your life with a wife who is walking with the Lord. The most attractive woman is one who loves the Lord!
- Actively pursue wisdom from older men who love the Lord.
- Take advantage of good books, podcasts, etc. from other godly men.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
US Birth rate 1.6
Young women are pursuing education instead of family - in part because there is an idea out there that men aren’t worth marrying…
What is the “right stuff” to be a good husband?
- Good isn’t good enough - must be godly
- Right relationship with God…
- No man is in his right mind until he is right with God…
- Walk in the Spirit, not in the flesh
- Importance of knowing God’s Word…mirror and window…
- Right relationship with God…
- Value of a Godly role model
- Watch how a person treats those “less than” himself - Matthew 25 principle…James 2 - no partiality, preference because of a person’s status or position…
- More is caught than taught
- Hard work, stewardship - the value of time and money
- Holding doors for ladies (others)
- Why?
- Demonstrates the value of the other person
- Uses your gifts and abilities (strength) to benefit others (not just about bettering yourself)
- Teaches patience
- Biblical principle - the first shall be last and the last shall be first - idea of servant leadership - Jesus came not to be served, but to serve…one simple way to serve others…
- Why?
- The value of being “early”
- Again - demonstrates the value of others
- If you’re late, you can’t help out…things are already done…
- People can count on you - reliable…
- Importance of words
- Speak life into others…build up, not tear down
- David - prudent in speech…
- Self-control (Titus 2)
- Psalm 16 - “pleasures” of God vs. pleasures of the world (Heb. 11:25 - fleeting pleasures of sin)
- Will power to say no - and let your yes be yes and your no be no
- Importance of discipline - David and Adonijah - never said “no”
- Connection to parents more important than connection to peers - Rehoboam…
- Biblical perspective on women
- Helper - other than, not less than
- Cherish - husband means cultivator - she should be “better” with you
- 1 Peter 3 - “fine china”
- Love - what’s in her best interest
Men - sacrifice family for career - now women want to do that as well…
Children - quiver full of children is a blessing
- Importance of others ahead of yourself
- Dependence on God - not self-sufficiency, but God-reliance!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
- Importance of Marriage and Family - Purpose
- Importance of Mentoring - Person
- Importance of Maturity - Process
Titus 2:2
Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, in steadfastness.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Guest: Adam Griffin, Lead Pastor at Eastside Community Church, Husband, Father, Author
Loved chatting with Adam Griffin - guys, he’s doing it right - take notes! He’s going to cover a lot of ground, hit on several different important aspects, so pay attention, lean in and listen, and then get up and get busy putting into action what you heard. Here are a few of his books that should be helpful as you desire to grow in your spiritual walk and help others along the way!
Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, and Milestones by Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin
When Wrong Seems Right: A Kids Bible Study on Making Good Choices by Adam Griffin
The Boy Who Was Bold by Adam Griffin
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Psalm 144
Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle…
It is a battle against the world system to prioritize your spiritual and family life.
It is important to invest into your family…because a blessed nation is one filled with blessed families! What does a blessed family look like - David answers that question with verse 12:
May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown, our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace.
Sons will be like plants full grown…or a well-manicured lawn.
Pruning is necessary - say no to them…and teach them self-control, the ability to say no themselves to things that aren’t in their best interest!
As young boys grow into godly men, they will be like “full grown plants” - trees that are straight and strong that offer protection and provision (fruitfulness) for others.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
In Joshua 1, God encourages Joshua three times with the phrase “be strong and courageous” - what did that mean for Joshua…and what does it mean for you today?
Be strong and courageous for…
Purpose - to advance the Kingdom of God, to inherit what God has for you
Be strong and very courageous, being careful to do…
Path - do not turn to the right or the left, stay on the path of God’s will for your life
Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Power - God is our power source - not your own strength…but His
Examining how this plays out in the life of David might help us better understand this concept.
David has a purpose - to battle against evil
David had a path - didn’t let the armor or discouragement of others dissuade him
David had God’s power - his faith in a mighty God
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
I was up at Sky Ranch recently and had the opportunity to watch students take a “step of faith” off a 30 foot tree - harnessed up so that they wouldn’t fall - but still a pretty brave step to take…and it got me thinking that this physical picture of a step of faith is a good metaphor for our spiritual step of faith that each of us must decide to take…or not.
This also got me thinking about those who say that they have “walked away” from their faith - and how impossible that concept truly is. Christianity isn’t a set of principles, dos and don’ts - it is not a transaction that you can do…and undo. Christianity is transformational - Scripture compares it to being “reborn” - and when you take that step of faith, the Bible says that you are a “new creation” (2 Cor. 5:17) and the old things are dead…so you couldn’t go back even if you wanted to!
The good news is that taking this initial step of faith and surrendering your life to Christ transforms your mind - just like the physical transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly, you are spiritually transformed. Pastor Tommy Nelson at Denton Bible often uses this little phrase to drive home the point that following principles and rules isn’t going to transform your life - but a relationship with Jesus Christ will:
"'Do this and live!' the law commands, but gives me neither feet nor hands. A better word the gospel brings, it bids me fly and gives me wings."
Guys, take the FIRST STEP of transformation from boyhood to manhood - and that step is placing your faith in Jesus Christ.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Getting ready for a puberty talk to 5th grade boys, the CHANGES that happen in our bodies got me to thinking about the PURPOSE for those changes - what is God preparing our bodies for…
- Work
- Women
- Worship
- World
- Wonder/Wisdom
Walk with me on this journey that looks at how creative God is at preparing us for the work that He has created for us to do (Ephesians 2:10) - but if we go through these life changes and never “spread our wings” and fly as the new creations in Christ, then we miss what God intended for us. Change indicates purpose. Don’t miss yours.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Dr. David Cobbs, PhD, is a Clinical Neuropsychologist in Dallas, TX
This is the second part of a meaningful and practical conversation with Dr. David Cobbs - he begins by sharing about the “mechanisms” that he’s put in place to draw closer to others and to God - some call these the “spiritual disciplines.” You need to put these practices in place not only to hold you accountable, but also so that you can look back and do some healthy self-evaluation so that you can do better moving forward!
If you’re a “Type A” personality - meaning that you’re driven - it means that you have that personality that could be successful in your spiritual and family life too…if those things are your priority! You have to make the commitment to prioritize the important things…and then follow through with those commitments.
If you haven’t been doing this in the past, NOW is the time to make the adjustment - and find people around you to help you and hold you accountable. Consistency is key. Also consider your Return on your Investment (ROI) - as you invest in others, seeds of connection and commitment are planted and you will reap the harvest of good relationships in the future.
Single guys - start putting these disciplines in your life and you’ll attract a spouse who sees these things as valuable and meaningful. It is critical to surround yourself with good friends who “spur you on to love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). Start with getting your relationship with God “right” first…then all your other relationships will be dramatically affected by this foundational relationship.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Dr. David Cobbs, PhD, is a Clinical Neuropsychologist in Dallas, TX
Loved hearing the story of David’s spiritual journey - how the power of POSITIVE peer pressure can help push you toward good things and keep you from bad things! David really started to grow in his spiritual life in high school - the younger you can get on the path of right living, the better off things will be in terms of living without regrets and disappointment!
True friends share life together. It’s good to have good friends and far too many men do not have quality friends around them. Remember, a good definition of a friend is someone who shares the most truth with you. How do you develop meaningful relationships with others - David will tell you that you have to be intentional about spending time together - as Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, “doing life together.”
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Robert Christian
Guys, if this message is meaningful to you and you’d like to email Robert Christian directly, you can reach him at robjonchris@gmail.com
Words of wisdom and encouragement from Robert:
- You are qualified
- God is a good father
- God wants the best for you
- God will discipline you
- You are created to glorify Him
- You do that through obedience
Resources for more encouragement:
- Man Alive by Patrick Morely
- Kingdom Man by Tony Evans
- The Resolution for Men by The Kendrick Brothers
- Abba's Child by Brennan Manning
- Happiness is a Serious Problem by Dennis Prager
- Knowing God by J.I. Packer
- Disciplines of a Godly Man by R. Kent Hughes
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Judges 3:31 reads, “After him was Shamgar the son of Anath, who killed 600 of the Philistines with an ox goad, and he also saved Israel.”
What is the life lesson we can take from the story of Shamgar:
- Shamgar used what he had.
- Shamgar used what he had exceedingly well.
- Shamgar used what he had for a purpose greater than himself.
What do you have that you can use for the glory of God? And what is your purpose, because your purpose will determine your plans and preparation!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guys, consider these three areas of blessing that you can provide for those in need:
Presence - the importance of the “ministry of presence”
Prayer - pray for people in need, let them know that you prayed for them!
Practical - don’t just ask what you can do, look for practical, common sense ways that you can help out!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
I took this word from the title of a book by Puritan author John Owen - Spiritual-Mindedness.
For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
Romans 8:6 (For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.)
Taking control of your thought-life - valuable life skill for everyone, everyday!
2 Corinthians 10:5 - take every thought captive to obey Christ
So our thoughts are the best and surest way of showing us what we are in ourselves. “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” (Prov. 23:7).
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Colossians 3:1-2
The strength of the mind is wasted by fruitless thoughts.
The first object, then, of our spiritual thoughts is to consider what God is saying in the daily circumstances of life.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Kylen Perry, pastor at Watermark Church, Dallas, TX
Every man is made, but are you reactive (responding to life’s situations) or proactive (learning, listening, seeking to grow and mature)? Discipleship is a proactive relationship where individuals share what they are learning in terms of their spiritual life with others.
Resource recommendation: J.T. English - Deep Discipleship: How the Church Can Make Whole Disciples of Jesus
- There must be space for learning and gathering
- There has to be relationship and training in godliness
What men have you “dignified the voice of” in your life - that you’ll listen to their wise counsel and they can speak hard truths into your life? We all need “truth tellers” in our lives - and we need to be open to receive truth from those people.
Mark of maturity - you can learn to listen to truth…regardless of the person who delivers it or how it is delivered.
Where can you find those “truth tellers” - those older men who can disciple you - they are part of the body of Christ, the church.
One of the best things you can do as a young person - commit yourself to a cause greater than yourself! There is no greater cause than advancing the Kingdom of God and growing closer in your relationship with Christ.
Isaiah 66:2 - But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.
God will not anoint any other version of you other than the one that He created and designed for you to be!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Psalm 111 and Psalm 112 are parallel passages to make a point. Psalm 111 talks about how great our God is - and Psalm 112 talks about the greatness of man…whose God is great.
Psalm 112 talks about what should be truly important in the life of a godly man - his family…and his “home life” - wealth and riches are in his house…
What are the character qualities to help you produce this great home life?
- Gracious, merciful, and righteous
- Are you nice, kind?
- Generous
- Are you sacrificial - willing to do for others without return?
- Just
- Do you do the right thing…even if it costs you?
- Heart is firm - integrity
- Do you do the right thing even when no one is watching - or even when others ARE watching?
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
If I had to summarize Gladiator II, it would be the line from Proverbs 22:1 which tells us that a good name is to be chosen rather than great riches! The “good name” of Marcus Aurelius and Maximus is passed on to an inspires the life and efforts of Lucius - who sees how the pursuit of money and power ends up in corruption and deceit - and in the end it is worthless. Great question from this movie - what do you give “worth” to in your life - what do you worship? Many worship the gods of convenience and entertainment. I believe there is more to life - and I think that Gladiator II is not just an entertaining movie, but one that can make you think and wrestle with the great ideas and meaning of life…if you’ll let it!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
As I reflect on things going on in my world, I’m thankful for a God who knows when to step in…and when to step back.
And I’m thankful for my wife who balances our family and provides a wonderful counter perspective that helps me navigate better.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
This is the description of David recorded in 1 Samuel 16:18:
Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him.
Part 2 examines the first three qualities:
- Prudent in speech - do you use your words well, do you weigh them before you speak, do you consider how your words are being received by others?
- Man of good presence - how do people feel when you walk into a room - glad that you’re there, or not so much?!
- The Lord is with him - do you know that as a child of God, the Lord is with you and goes wherever you go, watches whatever you watch - is the Lord pleased to be in your presence?
These are great character qualities to develop in your own life - as Thomas Watson reminds us, you can judge a flower by its buds, you can judge a man by his youth!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
This is the description of David recorded in 1 Samuel 16:18:
Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him.
Part 1 examines the first three qualities:
- Skillful in playing - David practiced, worked hard, didn’t quit when things were difficult…
- Man of valor - David was a man of integrity, the same man when no one was watching…or everyone was watching…
- Man of war - David was willing to fight for what he believed in, to protect the name of His God, to protect the weak or innocent…even if it cost him
These are great character qualities to develop in your own life - as Thomas Watson reminds us, you can judge a flower by its buds, you can judge a man by his youth!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Gabe Boyd
This is a throwback episode looking at one of the episodes that Gabe and I recorded talking about some important elements of what it means to be a man - this is the statement that we created to summarize those elements:
Men speak truth, serve others, love deeply, endure joyfully, and humbly walk with the Lord.
The concept of serving others embodies the idea that you see others and desire meet their needs even if that comes at a cost to yourself - this requires humility and an other-centeredness that is rare today - but so important for the maturity and development of a boy into a man!
The action steps that we included in those episode notes three years ago are still so good - so here they are:
Action Step
- Take notice of those who serve you! Show appreciation to those who serve you… (special note - waiter at restaurant...tip well)
- Take one person and find a way to serve them…
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Primary vs. General Election
- The Primary Election is your opportunity to select the best candidate within your party to represent your party in the General Election
- The General Election is your opportunity to select the best candidate over the other party’s candidate to put those particular principles into action
What if you don’t want to “align” with a particular party?
- Example - you like Shohei Ohtani as a player and you want him to win - he’s currently playing for the Los Angeles Dodgers in the World Series - for Ohtani to win, you are saying that you want the Dodgers to win. If the New York Yankees win the Series, Ohtani does not. Period. So, it doesn’t matter if you like the Dodgers or not - it doesn’t matter if you like party politics or not, if you want particular views and values to be advanced, you will need to align with the party that advances those views and values and vote accordingly.
What if you don’t like the Electoral College and how the President is selected?
- Again, the Electoral College is about winning a majority of the votes from the majority of the states - like winning 4 out of the 7 games in the World Series - it’s not about how many runs (or votes) that you get, it’s about getting the majority of the runs (votes) in the majority of the games (states).
Finally, what if you think that your vote doesn’t “count?”
- Doesn’t matter - it’s your vote - and you have both a responsibility and opportunity to cast a ballot - take it.
- Also, voting for candidates “down ballot” is tremendously important - not just voting for the President in this election.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Perspective
- God’s at work, you can’t see everything…
- Stop comparing yourself to others
- We are too often the heroes of our own story…
Prayer
- Ongoing conversation with God - help me see what you want me to see…and learn…
People
- Have a proper perspective of others - use the word “friend” sparingly!
- Take the focus off yourself - be a blessing to others…and you’ll be blessed!
Here’s what I’m not saying…
- You don’t get to write your own story in life - you are not the master of your own fate, captain of your own soul - sorry William Ernest Henley
- But, regardless of what happens to you, you can control your attitude
- I’ve seen hardships make a person better…and bitter. Choose better.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Jeremiah 12:5
“If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?
The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness: The Path to True Christian Joy - Tim Keller
- Learn to celebrate the victories of others - their victory isn’t your defeat…
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Everything physical is a picture of something spiritual…
Genesis 1:26-27
Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
In the creation of physical life, there is one who initiates, gives…and one who receives…
In the creation of spiritual life, there is one who gives (grace)...and one who receives (new life)...
Our physical bodies point to God’s design for relationship and redemption!
When sin corrupts God’s design, our physical bodies point to the coming Redeemer - God institutes physical circumcision, the cutting away of the male flesh to point to the Messiah, who is the Good Seed (semen)
The spiritual reality that corresponds to this physical picture is the idea that as the receivers of God’s grace, our hearts are circumcised and new life is created.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Parker Panetti
Daniel 1:8 - Daniel resolved not to defile himself.
What areas of your life do you need to resolve to do and NOT do to be the man that God has called you to be?
Find some godly men and ask to spend time with them, ask them what things they would recommend you do to improve your position in life.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer - The Cost of Discipleship - the way that I read Bonhoeffer is that the mediocre faith that so many have simply isn’t even an option for those children of God who have been bought with the blood of Jesus!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
What is the goal of the conversation - to win the argument or engage with the person?
Biggest suggestion - learn to ask more questions instead of presenting more information
Matt 10 - be as wise as serpents and innocent as doves
1 Chronicles 12:32 - “understand the times” like the men of Issachar
Psalm 119:130 - The unfolding of your words give light; it imparts understanding to the simple.
2 Cor. 10:5-6 - tear down arguments set up against the knowledge of God…taking captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ…
Colossians 2:8 - See to it that no one takes you captive by vain philosophies and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ…
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Lessons from my own experience and God’s Word:
- You don’t work for the pleasure of man, but for the will of God - Colossians 3:23
- Don’t miss what God wants to do with your work - 1 Samuel 16
- Hard work is a blessing when done to advance the kingdom - Joshua 14 (story of Caleb).
- Leadership matters - Phil. 2:3-4 (Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others).
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Mike Thornberry, Stephen Bryan, Aaron Ulmer, and Chris Housewright
We recorded this podcast to use for our parent podcast at the school, which also has a video element, so if you’d like to watch this podcast, check out the PCA YouTube page.
The Forge is the latest movie from the incredible Christian movie producers the Kendrick Brothers (Alex, Stephen, and Shannon), who brought Facing the Giants, Fireproof, Courageous, and War Room to the big screens. This new movie is about the process of making a man - and it’s a powerful story of prayer, forgiveness, redemption, and salvation!
The Forge opens in theaters across the country on Friday, August 23, 2024.
In the movie, Joshua Moore (older man, business owner) asks a younger Isaiah some important questions that cause Isaiah to pause and evaluate his life and future - here are those questions:
- 5 years from now, where do you want to be?
- What ways do you want to grow in the next year?
- What kind of man do you want to be?
- What do you want people to think when they see you coming?
The Forge isn’t a “self-help” movie about making better decisions - Isaiah surrenders his life to Christ and as he begins to follow Jesus, his life and decisions are radically changed! The Forge also highlights the importance of walking in community - surrounded by others to hold us accountable and encourage us on our journey!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Gabe Boyd and Mike Thornberry
Chapter 7 Stand Up to the Bullies
If you want to change the world…don’t back down from the sharks.
Chapter 8 Rise to the Occasion
If you want to change the world…be your very best in the darkest moments.
No matter how dark it gets, you must complete the mission.
- Mission above the man - Jim Eliot - he is no fool to give up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.
Chapter 9 Give People Hope
If you want to change the world…start singing when you’re up to your neck in mud.
The power of one person to unite the group, the power of one person to inspire those around him, to give them hope.
Hope is the most powerful force in the universe.
Chapter 10 Never, Ever Quit!
If you want to change the world…don’t ever, ever ring the bell.
If you fill your days with pity, sorrowful for the way you have been treated, bemoaning your lot in life, blaming your circumstances on someone or something else, then life will be long and hard. If, on the other hand, you refuse to give up on your dreams, stand tall and strong against the odds–then life will be what you make of it–and you can make it great. Never, ever, ring the bell!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Gabe Boyd and Mike Thornberry
Chapter 4 Life’s Not Fair - Drive On!
If you want to change the world…get over being a sugar cookie and keep moving forward…
Dan - we live in a fallen world, sin has corrupted everything, we should expect unfairness…
- Jesus was the only perfect person - and look how the world treated him - unfairly…we should expect the same…
Those that strived to be the very best expected that they would be rewarded for their stellar performance.
Chapter 5 Failure Can Make You Stronger
If you want to change the world…don’t be afraid of The Circus
The Circus, which had started as a punishment for failure, was making us stronger, faster, and more confident in the water. Marc and I were determined not to allow The Circus to beat us.
You will pay for your failures. But, if you persevere, if you let those failures teach you and strengthen you, then you will be prepared to handle life’s toughest moments.
I realized that the past failures had strengthened me, taught me that no one is immune from mistakes.
Chapter 6 You Must Dare Greatly
If you want to change the world…slide down the obstacle headfirst.
Those who live in fear of failure, or hardship, or embarrassment will never achieve their potential.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Gabe Boyd and Mike Thornberry
Chapter 1 Start Your Day with a Task Completed
- Make your bed - physical
- Time with the Lord - spiritual
Gabe - we live in a chaotic and undisciplined world…this is one thing I can control.
Making my bed correctly was not going to be an opportunity for praise. It was expected of me.
- Don’t look for the praise of men…Col. 3:23
Chapter 2 You Can’t Go It Alone
If you want to change the world…find someone to help you paddle.
Seven men, all working together
The small rubber boat made us realize that no man could make it through training alone.
Now, lying in bed, all I felt was self-pity…but, my wife Georgeann, reminded me of who I was
- Tough love
- Good spouse - calling you up to all that God has for you…
Chapter 3 Only the Size of Your Heart Matters
Instructor challenged a guy - “prove me wrong” (motivation)
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Looking at the story of David, Nabal, and Abigail in 1 Samuel 25
This is the question I want each of us to wrestle with - why are we doing what we’re doing? What is our true motivation behind our decisions?
Good friends - a community of individuals who can challenge you to think about your decisions - is such a blessing - build that community!!!
The Chosen - if you’re looking to learn more about the person and life of Jesus, reading God’s Word is the BEST way - but watching The Chosen is a great addition as well.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say, on the Lord. Psalm 27:14
Feel stuck in a place, job, relationship? In a difficult situation? What’s the plan? Wait on the Lord.
- “On the Lord” is the most important part of that encouragement - not your plan, but His.
- Wait - trust, obey, listen, learn.
- Wait doesn’t mean “do nothing”
- You can work while you wait
- Grow deeper - Jer. 6:16 - ask for the ancient paths and walk in them
- Serve others - look around at how you can help others…
- Be confident (vs. 3) - decision, not a feeling
- Don’t walk to the right or to the left - don’t take a misstep
- Let the Lord strengthen your heart - waiting is preparation time for the next opportunity/challenge
- Waiting on the Lord isn’t easy - “be of good courage” - it takes courage to wait, to trust the Lord
- Life is a series of seasons - just because this season is tough, doesn’t mean that you’re not growing and getting ready for next season…
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Things I know now that I wish I had known then…
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Importance of godly mentors
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Importance of reading - you will draw from the books that you’ve read years later…
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You learn more from failing than succeeding - so try new things…
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Understand the power of commitment
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People matter
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Best part of a new project - demo day
Bible calls this sanctification - to set apart, make holy - consecrate (with force to make sacred)
Tear up the carpeting
- NO going back!
- You see all the EXTRA work that you didn’t know you had before…
- It’s Worth it!
I want to be a better man, a better husband, a better dad, a better employer/ee, a better friend, a better…
Biblical principles of change…
- Romans 12 - God is in the business of change - don’t conform to the old patterns, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…
- Ephesians 4 - put off the old self, put on the new self…
- Colossians 3 - put to death what is earthly - put on as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive…And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
- God is prepared for us to move in a new direction - Deuteronomy 17 - the laws concerning Israel’s kings - they didn’t even have a king…
- God’s principles are timeless - He doesn’t change - the real change we need in our lives is the constant transformation of our old selves into the image of Jesus…
5 Things to Help You Change
- Read more - you become a more reflective person, less thrown about why the winds and wilds of the day…
- Deepen solid relationships with people who challenge you to be better…
- Honest assessment of your situation, life, attitude, circumstances - the carpeting is old, it needs to be torn up and tossed out…
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help - Biblical counseling, mature Christian friend, God’s Word as a light unto your feet and a lamp unto your path…
- It’s Worth it - it will cost you, but it’s worth it…
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Michael Lee Stallard
I was first introduced to Mike Stallard as the author of Fired Up or Burned Out: How to Reignite Your Team’s Passion, Creativity, and Productivity. He then turned his passion and research to the power of connectivity and wrote Connection Culture: The Competitive Advantage of Shared Identity, Empathy, and Understanding at Work where he shared the importance of vision, voice and value for a connected work environment.
Mike is a wonderful resource not only from his books, but also as a speaker for businesses looking to create that unified and connected work culture. You can find out more about Mike and his vision to help leaders create connected cultures on his website MichaelLeeStallard.com.
Prior to founding E Pluribus Partners, Michael was a managing director on Wall Street. Earlier in his career he worked in the technology sector. Michael is married to Katharine Stallard. They have two grown daughters.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Abide in Christ - Andrew Murray
Vine - plant that is only for the fruit
- How can you tell the vine that has the most fruit?
- It hangs the lowest - humility is the key…
Self-assessment
- Be quick to listen
- Not listen quickly…then move on…
- If you want a different song, stop playing the same notes
- Change is hard, but there are times when it’s necessary…
Take the next right step
- Don’t complicate things
- Don’t make excuses - do the will of your father
Jesus our example
- Didn’t make excuses
- Did the will of his father
Consecrate yourself
- Sacred - set apart - choose to live differently, other-worldly…
- I’m so busy - those are decisions you’re making - your choices
- You’ll reap what you sow…
- Your decisions demonstrate your priorities
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Harrison Leak and Parker Panetti
How do you decide what to do, where to go…what’s that process look like for a young man who is trying to honor the Lord?
Great resource: Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will by Kevin DeYoung
Money shouldn’t be the primary motivator for what position you take - there are other things that are more important. A great resource in helping you balance those concepts is Your Life…Well Spent: The Eternal Rewards of Investing Yourself and Your Money in Your Family by Russ Crosson
When considering the concept of “success,” think about the line from CS Lewis that humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less. Along that same line, Tim Keller has an outstanding resource titled The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness: The Path to True Christian Joy.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Dr. Jason Snyder and Dr. Jonathan Teague
Excerpts from the conversation:
Lie #4: Transgenderism is normal.
- Scripture does not support transgender ideology/belief/actions as normal, healthy, or to be supported or endorsed.
- In today’s culture, “love” has been redefined as acceptance and endorsement as I am and you are not allowed to say anything in opposition to my beliefs.
- And since God is “love,” when culture redefines love, it redefines the very nature of God to fit its own desires. This redefined god is not the God of the Bible. How to address this concept - go back and learn about the God of the Bible.
- Read Rosaria’s article entitled, “Why I no longer use Transgender Pronouns - and Why You shouldn’t either.”
- WPATH: The truth about “gender affirming healthcare”
Lie #5: Modesty is an outdated burden that serves male dominance and holds women back.
- Guys, the issue of modesty isn’t just a woman’s issue - as men, dads, we need to address this issue in our homes…and lead by example. We don’t need to buy into the “modest is hottest” false narrative, we need to understand that modesty is the desire to be holy and honor God with our bodies.
- Men, if the pornographic culture is shaping the way that you view women, you will not understand the importance and value of modesty.
- The issue of modesty is less about “protecting men” and more about presenting women as daughters of the living God who are more than mere physical beings - ladies, you are body, soul, and spirit - don’t allow the culture to elevate your physical attributes over the other important aspects of who you are!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Happy Memorial Day!
The word graduation comes from the concept of “steps” - taking the next step. What is the next step in your life - college, work, marriage, family? What are you doing now to prepare yourself for those next steps?
Some good questions to ask yourself on your journey:
- What has God been teaching you recently?
- How are you feeding the spiritual man?
- Word of God
- Words of wisdom - godly people and good books
- Work
- Fellowship - we are relational beings
- Rest
- Luke 2:52 - Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and with man…
- How are you feeding your flesh?
- Pride, envy, lust, disobedience, impatience, anger
- Romans - be killing sin or sin will be killing you
- How are you feeding others?
- Service and sacrifice
- Titus 2 - older men train up the younger men - urge the younger men to be self-controlled…
- Friendship - a plant of slow growth
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Dr. Jason Snyder and Dr. Jonathan Teague
Excerpts from the conversation:
Lie #2 - Being a spiritual person is kinder than being a Christian.
The Gospel doesn’t just make us nicer versions of ourselves. The Gospel gives us a new nature and the power to live for the glory of God.
What is your working definition of “good”? If your definition of good is absent of absolute truth, then it is subjective and lacking. For a Christian, “good” is defined by the nature of God and is not held captive by “the spirit of the age” or what is defined as good or popular during this particular day.
Make sure that you have an eternal, unchangeable standard for the foundation of your worldview and definitions.
Lie #3 - Feminism is good for the world and for the church.
Most individuals that we know who are supportive of “feminism” as a worldview have specific, individual negative experiences in their own lives from a man who abused his position of power and authority.
Feminism attacks God’s design for gender and sexuality, the family, and culture at large. Feminism is incompatible with Biblical personhood because it contradicts the creation ordinance.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Genesis 26:25 - Building Altars, Pitching Tents, Digging Wells
Five Practical Steps for Building Altars
Commitment
- Building family habits of spiritual consistency…takes commitment to say no to lesser things to advance the more important…
- Prioritize spiritual things - don’t let select sports, etc. take top place
Contentment
- Beware of the sin of envy and comparison, the thief of joy…
- Use money to buy more time with your family, not more things
- You have been blessed to be a blessing…
- Haggai 1 - be careful of paneled houses when the house of God isn’t finished!
- Raising Spiritual Champions by George Barna
- Only 8% of young people believe that wealth is given by God to manage for the advancement of God’s kingdom on Earth - they are far more likely to believe that they have earned what they possess and are free to use their wealth as they see fit without regard to spiritual principles or God’s expectations
- Deut. 8:18 - But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth…
Consistency
- Thomas Watson - we call a thing by what it generally is
- David - a man after God’s own heart - massive sin, massive repentance
Communicate
- Listening is more important than talking…learn to listen and hear what is being communicated…
- 2 Samuel 11:3 - And David sent and inquired about the woman. And ONE SAID, “Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?”
- Learn to listen to things we don’t want to hear…
Care/Compassion
- Love well - care about the well-being of those around you…
- Do the little things to make their situation better
- Don’t settle for the shortcuts - JFK, we go to the moon because it is hard
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Dr. Jason Snyder and Dr. Jonathan Teague
Excerpts from the book:
Lie #1: Homosexuality is Normal
I lamented male-female relationships that called for a woman’s submission, even if voluntary. My feminist worldview/religion declared any male-female sexual relationship that rejected sameness (the idea that men and women are interchangeable) and called for a wife’s submission to her husband foundational to rape culture.
The order of creation made the point: the sexes are equal in essence and different in social roles.
It was utterly and completely shocking to realize that my lesbianism was truly a sin.
Godly womanhood does not erase a woman’s strength or identity; rather, it applies God’s grace to me.
Biblical sexuality is natural, God-blessed, and procreative. In contrast, homosexuality is unnatural, sinful, and barren.
What if it feels right?
That sin nature is why homosexuality can feel normal and natural to some people.
The Bible is truer than our feelings.
WORDS matter. And Jesus is still the Word made flesh.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Russ Crosson, chief mission officer and senior partner of Blue Trust, author of Your Life…Well Spent, The Truth About Money Lies, What Makes a Leader Great, and Your Money Made Simple. You can reach Russ at 1-800-987-2987 or via email at russ.crosson@bluetrust.com
Men, it is so important to realize the difference between investing your time, energy, and resource into your prosperity (wealth/money) vs. into your posterity (children/legacy)
Prosperity - the accumulation of goods
- The process of working is a real blessing
- God empowers us to enjoy the fruit of our labor by giving us the proper perspective about it
- We are successful when we are in the process of being obedient and carefully doing all that God’s Word says to do
Posterity - the heritage we leave to coming generations
- Money is simply a tool to invest in our posterity
- When you make spending decisions, ask, “How will this expense affect our entire family?”
- Principle of Replacement - the addition of new time commitments to my schedule usually involves a trade-off between work and posterity time
- Only say yes if the activity can replace something else that’s already in your schedule that doesn’t detract from your posterity time
Only change vocations to better fulfill your purpose and maximize your time flexibility - not to make more money
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Dr. Jason Snyder and Dr. Jonathan Teague
Some incredible excerpts/statements from Five Lies:
This book is for Christian, especially Christian WOMEN.
- But still a valuable read for guys - which is why we are tackling this book on T4M
But some of us believe, as I do, that God’s design for women determines our roles and our priorities. The Christian family matters, and its neglect is deadly.
- God’s design for women is biologically to bear children - and the greatest calling and responsibility for Christians (men and women) is to train children and raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord…
- This will require a sacrifice from both men and women in terms of their priorities and opportunities…
This book [the Bible] offers one simple answer: the world is in chaos, and the church is divided because we have failed to obey God and value his plan for how men and women should live.
The creation of man and woman, also known as the “creation ordinance,” is CENTRAL, not peripheral, to the GOSPEL.
God is holy, and therefore ignorance, iniquity, and ungodliness reflect our sin nature in Adam.
Three “exchanges” of truth for lies in Romans 1:21-28
- First there is the exchange of the Creator for the creature, or the exchange of God worship for idol worship
- Second is the exchange of truth for lies
- Third comes the exchange of natural sexuality (heterosexuality) or dishonorable passions (homosexuality)
The Five Lies:
Lie #1: Homosexuality is normal
- Lie #1 claims that the word of God doesn’t apply to homosexual orientation because homosexual orientation represents a person’s core truth
- But if you exchange the Creator for the creature, you impose God’s attributes on man.
Lie #2: Being a spiritual person is kinder than being a biblical Christian.
Lie #3: Feminism is good for the world and the church.
- In 2023, we cannot even define what a woman is or defend her right to exist
Lie #4: Transgenderism is normal.
Lie #5: Modesty is an outdated burden that serves male dominance and holds women back.
My reason for changing my mind can be stated in two words: Obergefell (as in Obergefell v. Hodges, 2015) and Bostock (as in Bostock v. Clayton County, 2020)
- Obergefell legalized same-sex marriage
- Bostock made sexual orientation a protected class
Thomas Watson in The Doctrine of Repentance
- Recognition of sin
- Sorrow for sin
- Confession of sin
- Shame for sin
- Hatred for sin
- Turning from sin
Thomas Watson comments:
“Loving of sin is worse than committing it. A goodman may run into a sinful action unawares, but to love sin is desperate…”
After Obergefell and Bostock, LGBTQ+ describes who someone is rather than how someone feels.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Melvin Hunt, man of God, husband, father, coach
Melvin uses the “camouflage” of basketball to be able to train young men - for success on the court…and off!
Best advice that someone else has given you? Melvin’s daughter Braya reminded her dad to “be you.” In a world that tells you to be someone else, there is rest and comfort in knowing that God has a plan for your life - and that He created you just the way you are!
Second best piece of advice was from Coach Riggs - you steal a page from every man’s book, and soon you’ll have your own. We learn from others. Thomas Watson’s line is, “Great men are the mirrors by which ordinary men dress themselves.” What great men are you seeking to emulate? Are there younger men looking to learn from your life?
As you move up in life, don’t forget where you came from. Seeing the “big world” can give you perspective, but remembering where you came from can keep you grounded. Both are valuable.
Community that knows you is valuable on your journey - give others permission to speak truth into your life…and learn to listen!
In life, there are principles and preferences. Stand on the principles, soften on the preferences.
There is a huge difference between chasing good things…and not “God” things. That extra “o” changes things. Want nothing more than you want God.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Michael Perron, Minister of Life Recovery at Prestonwood Baptist Church
Sit down with a piece of paper and write out: What is success? How do you answer that question?
Guys, at some point in life, you might make a decision that runs counter to the opinion of your father - which is an important step of growing up - to learn to pursue the acceptance of God as opposed to the acceptance of any man.
If your definition of success deals with anything “extrinsic,” you’re going to be frustrated. Success needs to be something that is intrinsic, internal - your character, integrity - having that peace of mind that you’ve made good decisions and can sleep well at night!
Guys, are you satisfied with life? Are you “worthy” of being satisfied? Are you living today trapped in the past failures of your life?
Great resource: The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs
Guys, do you ever consider the decisions that you’re making will impact future generations?
A good name is better than great riches. Proverbs 22:1 What “name” was left for you and what name will you leave for your posterity? As your children see you being obedient to what the Lord has for you, it will mark your children!
Randy Pausch The Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams (YouTube video)
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Dr. Steven Lytle, PsyD, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Founding Partner of Sparrow House Counseling
Guys, the journey to manhood begins early in life. Moms are great at giving a foundation of unconditional love. Dads are great at giving encouragement to a young boy and calling him upward.
Great resource - Fathered by God by John Eldredge - a young man needs to go through some developmental phases of maturity:
- “Cowboy” phase - not a lot of wisdom, but a lot of energy. Separation individuation is an important process. You’re experimenting, and failing, and learning! Most important social influence is actually your parents - better to be connected to parents than peers! But your peers/friends are an important element in your development - so be wise in whom you allow to speak into your life.
- “Warrior” phase - the launching time for a young man, rules and accountability are set by you, not others. Learn to appreciate how God wired you. You don’t have to compare yourself to others who are designed for a different plan and purpose!
Another great resource - Love, Identity, and Purpose: Finding Purpose in Our Identity as God’s Children by Terry Moore
- “Lover” phase - the time to find your passion in life. This is the time you look for your wife to share your life and passion with.
- “King” phase - now you’re the expert and are doing the work you’re called and equipped to do.
- “Sage” phase - this is the time that you’ve accumulated a lifetime of wisdom - now is the time to pass it on to others!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Nick Henderson
Far too many men are lonely and isolated - the value of authentic community is underplayed in our culture today, but is necessary for truth growth and maturity!
Guys, we need to move from casual conversations to personal conversations…then next to intentional conversations - don’t settle for casual conversations - casual conversations don’t build authentic community!
There is a huge difference between a man who offers his opinion and one who can share the truth of God’s Word with you.
You were created with eternity in your heart and no person, except Jesus Christ himself, will ever be able to fill that level of love, intimacy, and depth!
Christ had a method, a message, and a model for spiritual transformation. The model was life-on-life discipleship. The method was building relationships. Men, if you’re lonely, go find a disciple-maker.
Sin struggles are cheap substitutes for God’s best for you.
Men, step out in faith.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Nick Henderson
Guys, what do you find your identity in - your work, success, family, friends, behaviors, failures? Scripture tells you that “as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving” (Colossians 2:6-7). Faith in Christ begins with receiving the free gift of salvation by grace through faith (see Ephesians 2:8-9).
Men, what is holding you back from God’s best for your life - secret sins, pornography, addiction? There is freedom found in a relationship with Jesus Christ who offers forgiveness and redemption from sin and replaces your old sin nature with a new heart. In the Gospel of John, Jesus claimed to be “the light of the world” - and whoever follows Christ walks in the light and not in the darkness. Jesus also says that freedom from sin is found in a relationship with him! Don’t allow the shame of your past hold you back from the goodness that God has for your future!
Guys, it is very important to have good, solid, Christ-centered community to encourage and equip you to grow as a man of God.
The Christian life isn’t a call to a life of convenience and ease - it’s a battle cry against sin, against the flesh, against the powers and principalities of this world that set themselves up against the knowledge of God.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Ethan Severin
What does it mean for a young man to really trust in the Lord?
Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
When you trust in God, will that mean that you always get what you want from a good and loving God? No. God’s ways are higher than our ways…sometimes love hurts or is disappointing or painful - we have to learn to trust the heart and plans of a good God will run counter to our own self-interests in many ways.
Psalm 23 - The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Jim Elliot - He is no fool to give what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.
Men - you can’t trust someone you don’t know. You must know God personally to learn to trust Him. Can you know God? Yes. God reveals Himself through His creation, through His Word, and through His one and only Son Jesus Christ! God created us to be in an intimate and personal relationship with Him made possible by the work of Jesus Christ who lived the perfect life that we couldn’t and gave His life as a ransom for many (Matt. 20:28).
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Tricia Panetti
So he built an altar there and called upon the name of the Lord and pitched his tent there. And there Isaac’s servants dug a well. Genesis 26:25
Guys, if you want to be the men that God has designed for you to be - start right now where you are. Start practicing for future relationships with the ones that you have. Start preparing for marriage by treating the women around you with honor and respect - your mom, sister, teachers, etc.
Guys, being a better communicator starts with being a better listener. Practice being a good listener and putting into practice the wisdom and advice that others share with you.
Guys, if you want to lead another person and your family spiritually, start with leading yourself spiritually - don’t just rely on others to feed you, learn to feed yourself…don’t rely on others to serve you, serve others.
Joshua 24:15 says, “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua made that decision to follow the Lord and to lead his entire household toward the things of God. And he demonstrated the character of Christ with his humility - leadership is about serving God and others. If you want to practice leading a family, practice putting the needs of others ahead of your own!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Tricia Panetti
So he built an altar there and called upon the name of the Lord and pitched his tent there. And there Isaac’s servants dug a well. Genesis 26:25
Guys, if biblical manhood was not modeled for you in your home, the ideal for manhood is Jesus Christ and you can know Him and learn from His ways!
Consider the qualities that Tricia wanted in her husband:
- A servant-leader
- Good manners, values others ahead of himself
- A good listener
- Helps you be a better version of yourself!
- Actively engaged and serving in a community of believers
- Being discipled…and discipling others
- Pursuing purity in the relationship
- Not allowing alcohol to adversely impact life’s decisions
Guys, being the man that a quality woman would desire to lead her starts with being a follower of Jesus Christ.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
So he built an altar there and called upon the name of the Lord and pitched his tent there. And there Isaac’s servants dug a well. Genesis 26:25
The Bible starts with a wedding and ends with a wedding - so marriage is important from God’s economy!
You need to find someone who is building altars and pitching tents - so you can do that work together and dig those wells for others!
Consider the wisdom found in Proverbs 31 about the important qualities and characteristics of a noble wife…
- She works hard
- She is clothed with strength and dignity
- Her inward character outshines her outward appearance
- She loves the Lord
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Parker Panetti
It’s not what you know, it’s who you know…
Knowing the “right” people can greatly enhance your life.
How do you develop meaningful relationships?
Genesis 26:25 - we don’t do this alone - a life is built in community…
So he built an altar there and called upon the name of the Lord and pitched his tent there. And there Isaac’s servants dug a well. Genesis 26:25
Harvard Study reveals the #1 key to happiness is meaningful relationships!
Jesus - didn’t come to share information, but build relationships…
Three things you can do to build meaningful relationships:
- Be the kind of friend you want to have
- Be gracious and forgiving
- Desire and work for the best for others around you
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections
What do you want said about you at your funeral…?
Kind of a pointless question - people are going to say nice things about you - it’s your funeral, celebration of life…
Go back to Genesis 26:25 - build altars, pitch tents, dig wells…
So he built an altar there and called upon the name of the Lord and pitched his tent there. And there Isaac’s servants dug a well. Genesis 26:25
Build altars
- Comparison with pitching tents…
- Pitching tents is important too…just not as important…what will people remember you by - those things that are your top priority
- 1 Timothy 4:8 - training for godliness - compared to your physical training - so you need to do things in the physical world with excellence, dedication -”bodily training is of some value” - but training in righteousness has value for this life AND the next… and then do things in the spiritual world BETTER!
Building altars, pitching tents…
- Pitching tents is also important - need to have physical, material things in proper perspective as well…
- Your home, work, things - don’t allow them to become idols
- Examples - kids sports, keep in perspective - coach who wouldn’t take trophies for 2nd place - but I was there for 2nd grade football…
IF - and only if you have these two things in their proper perspective, can you see the importance of digging wells…
- Being a blessing to others…
- God’s economy - what if what you sacrifice here is stored up for you in heaven?
- Sacrifice and buy a cheaper car - so that you can use that money to bless others - what if that becomes a blessing to you for eternity?
- Focus isn’t on your prosperity - temporary wealth and comfort - but your posterity - your legacy - children, both physical and spiritual…
- Children - physical and spiritual - who are you investing in?
IF you’re build tents and pitching altars, you won’t see the needs around you, won’t want to make the sacrifice to be a blessing to others - you’ll give from your excess…and that includes your time, talents and treasure…
Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth by Richard Foster
Inward: Meditation, Prayer, Fasting, Study
Outward: Simplicity, Solitude, Submission, Service
Corporate: Confession, Worship, Guidance, Celebration
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
So he built an altar there and called upon the name of the Lord and pitched his tent there. And there Isaac’s servants dug a well. Genesis 26:25
What’s the difference between building and pitching?
Building vs. Pitching
More permanent vs. More temporary
Costlier vs. Cheaper
Planning involved vs. Can just pitch a tent just about anywhere
Skill/labor involved vs. Just about anyone can pitch a tent
Building an altar - metaphor/ picture of your spiritual life/dwelling
Pitching a tent - metaphor/picture of your physical life/dwelling
“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” ― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
The comparison - you should spend more time, energy, and resources on building your spiritual life than your temporary physical existence…
Time - how does your time compare between what you’re investing in building your spiritual life vs. your physical life?
Talents - how are you using the talents that God has blessed you with to build your spiritual life - His eternal kingdom - vs. building your physical existence?
Treasure - how are you using the blessings that God has given you - for your own personal pleasure and comfort or to be a blessing to others?
Digging a well
- If you’re not doing the building and pitching correctly, you won’t be able to dig the wells…
- More concerned about yourself, won’t be focused on others…
- For the flourishing of the community - you are blessed to be a blessing…
- Not for your prosperity, but your posterity - those who come after you - leaving a legacy for the next generation…
- What wells are you digging for others?
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Raising a Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis
Men need affirmation, attention, and affection. Where are you getting those filled in your life?
Truths shared with Campbell:
- Remember to continue to sharpen your blade.
- Remember that once your blade is sharpened, go out and use it!
- Who are the men who are modeling life for you?
- Continue to learn and grow, you haven’t arrived yet!
- Don’t be self-centered; pay attention to the needs of others!
- Are you a man of good presence?
- Are you mature or silly?
- Honor God, commit your path to Him…no matter the cost
- Slay the giant - not just the one outside of you, but the one inside you!
- Set your mind, not on earthly things, but on heavenly things!
- Evaluate the seeds that you’re sowing now…you will reap what you sow
- Love others well, value others.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Nick Bellamy, CFP at Northwestern Mutual
If you’d like to contact Nick Bellamy for him to help you address your financial planning, he can be reached at 214-707-1699 or via email at nick.bellamy@nm.com
6 in 10 Americans say that money can buy happiness. If you’re in a stressful financial situation, there is a certain minimum that you need to cover your basic needs and additional money can actually make a person feel better about life.
Nick - having money isn’t the issue, having a vision for what to do with your money is the key!
Nick - people live in a world where they feel like they’ve paid for perfection and if they don’t get it, they are frustrated!
The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs - examine the difference between your expectations and reality
Nick - the goal of a Christian is to connect your heart to your money - to use the resources that God has given you to advance the mission that God has called you to!
Dan - how is your money making your family better?
Your Life…Well Spent: The Eternal Rewards of Investing Yourself and Your Money in Your Family by Russ Crosson
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Preston and Parker Panetti
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” Mark 8:34-36
Steps for Success:
- Setting correct goals
- What are your goals for life?
- Are you building your life on the rock…or the sand?
- Evaluating yourself
- Honest and thorough self-assessment…often…is important
- Don’t be afraid of asking other wise individuals in your life for their assessment as well
- Growing your heart, mind, and strength
- This is an ongoing process - once the seed of success is planted, you need to allow it to grow and mature
- Look to grow and mature in all aspects of your life, don’t allow the Enemy to get you to become one-dimensional
- Building strong community
- The Enemy wants you to be isolated and alone - look to build a strong community of wise counsel
- Remember friends are people who tell you the most truth, who seek your best even if it costs them!
- Inviting wise counsel
- Look for constructive criticism, words of wisdom and correction may sting for a minute, but will be sweet in the long-run
- Inviting wise counsel means that you have to ignore unwise counsel - be careful who you let speak into your life
- Discipling younger believers
- Everyone needs a “Paul” to pour truth into them…and a “Timothy” to pour truth into!
- If you don’t have that “Paul” at this moment, at least find a “Timothy” to pour into
- Reaching lost people
- One of the greatest motivations for growth and maturing is having to answer the questions of others
- Don’t be so focused on your own journey that you forget to take others with you!
- Expanding your heart, mind, and strength
- Even Jesus grew in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and with man (Luke 2:52) - and so should you!
- If you’re not expanding…your probably shrinking
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Parker Panetti
Different times, places, and cultures have different “heroes” or men who are elevated, appreciated, and valued for a variety of attributes. The Spartans valued warriors, the Athenians valued the intellect - today different people are valued in our culture for things such as wealth and athletic ability. As a young man looking to grow and mature, who are you looking to emulate, to follow, to allow to speak into your life?
While this is a fun and informative conversation and concept to wrestle with, the reality is that Jesus is the only man worthy of our emulation. Scripture says that Jesus is the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2), the image of the invisible God, and the firstborn of all creation (Colossians 1:15). This year as you look to grow and mature as a man, consider the model that Jesus is as a servant-leader, as one who was willing to lay down his life for others, as one obedient to the will of his Father. Spend time learning more about Jesus - and as you draw close to Him, He will draw close to you!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Preston Panetti, Parker Panetti, and Campbell Panetti
The boys and I attended CrossCon2024 and wanted to share with you some highlights and encourage you to start off your year with a spiritual emphasis and focus!
Good resources:
Don’t Waste Your Life - John Piper
Serious Times - James Emery White
A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life - William Law (Ty Olson favorite)
The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Word of the Year 2024
- Dan - Hallelujah (Praise the Lord)
- Preston - Accountability
- Parker - Consistency
- Campbell - Steadfast
- Others - #1 response this year from people - “Joy”
Jeff’s Donuts
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Host: Dan Panetti
Setting the right tone for 2024…
Great verse to help you set goals for the year - Luke 2:52 - Jesus grew in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and with man
Wisdom - mental and emotional growth
- Mental - mind - what are you reading, how are you growing in this area?
- Emotions - what do you need to work on to get better this year?
Stature
- Body - what areas can you improve on with your overall health and well-being?
Favor with God
- Read the Bible, spend time with God, memorize and meditate on Scripture
Favor with man
- Relationships
- Marriage
- Kids
- Friendships
- Work
- Community - this is an election year - get out there and make your community better!
Word for 2024
I’m excited to announce my word for 2024 - Hallelujah, which means Praise the Lord.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Host: Dan Panetti
Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis
It’s always winter, but never Christmas…
The Hunger Games - how did President Snow go bad?
God revealed His plan of redemption and restoration in the Garden, immediately following man’s sin - see Genesis 3:15
The Old Testament of Scripture is FILLED with so many prophecies about the coming Messiah so that man wouldn’t miss the incredible gift that God was sending for us - some of the most important of those prophecies are found in the Book of Isaiah in chapters 7, 9, and 53. The prophecy that the Messiah would be born in the “little town of Bethlehem” is found in Micah 5:2.
The genealogy of Jesus, the one born of a virgin in the town of Bethlehem, is found in Matthew 1:1-17. Jesus is a descendent of Abraham, the father of the promised nation of spiritual children, and David, the symbol of the king.
In Matthew 1:3, Jesus is said to be a descendent of “Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar” - the twins Perez and Zerah are both mentioned in the lineage of Jesus, but for what reason - because Jesus isn’t just coming once, but twice - and both Perez and Zerah give us insight into what we should be looking for - first, one who “burst forth,” the unexpected one from insignificance; the second, bearing the scarlet thread on his body.
Christmas - everything points to Jesus…
Christmas tree - gifts at the bottom - and it points to the heavens…with a STAR on top - reminds me of Numbers 24 - Balaam’s final oracle - verse 17 - I see him, but not now; I behold him, but not near: a star shall come out of Jacob, and a scepter shall rise out of Israel…
O Holy Night, song by Adolphe Adam
O Holy night! The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
'Til He appeared, and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn'
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Bruce and Chris Curran
Above all else, guard your heart, for from it comes the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23
You can tell the condition of a marriage by watching/listening to the wife.
Suffering removes shallowness. If you want to go deep with God, you’re going to have to go through difficult times. Tough times produce dependent people - people willing to lean not on their own understanding, but in all their ways they learn to submit to God and trust His goodness and plans - see Proverbs 3:5.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 Maybe some of the difficult things you’re going through are going to be used by God for a greater purpose - His purpose - not only in your life, but in the lives of others, to expand the Kingdom of heaven!
Some trust in chariots and some in horses [and some in doctors], but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. Psalm 20:7 Who will you put your trust in - your business, your health, your education, your past accomplishments…or will you put your trust in the One who created the heavens and the earth and holds all things in His hands?
As they get older, Bruce and Chris have learned to care about “less and less” - God is concerned about people - what are your primary concerns? And sometimes you have to “go 30 miles in” before you see it - you have to go deeper.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: John Elmore, Teaching Pastor, Watermark Community Church
John - the idea of sin and struggle is the most requested conversation - people have forgiveness from sin, but not freedom. God wants to redeem, reengineer, and repurpose your past for His purposes and glory!
John - the most used thing in his life to share the gospel is how God redeemed him from his past - your mess can become His message!
How do I get free?
- For the unbeliever, freedom starts with surrendering your life to Christ and accepting the free gift of salvation by grace through faith. Sin is a supernatural problem and demands a supernatural solution!
- Making the commitment by the power of the Holy Spirit to walk in the freedom that Christ earned for you one day at a time. A lifetime of freedom is made up of days of freedom, one after another. Galatians 5:16 - But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
- Repentance is a continual, ongoing surrender to the Lord. You need to ACT. Ask God daily for help - the Holy Spirit is the “sin killer,” this is the negative work of the Spirit - the Holy Spirit negates bad fruit in your life. Commit to the pursuit of holiness. Daily encouragement is the key to battle against sin in your life - there are no neutral days - you are either moving toward holiness or away from it! Talk/Text about your journey with another person who is standing in the gap praying for you and encouraging you.
John - leaders go first or others may never - if you want to walk in the light and have fellowship with one another, you need to lead others by your example!
John - today is the day of your salvation and freedom from sin. Text a brother in Christ and begin this daily commitment to walking in the forgiveness AND freedom from sin!
Resources
- Freedom Starts Today: Overcoming Struggles and Addictions One Day at a Time by John Elmore, 2021
- The Mortification of Sin: Dealing with Sin in Your Life by John Owen (1616-1683)
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Cort Quigley
Christianity doesn't make a man soft, it transforms him into the image of Jesus - THE man’s Man, the sinless Man, the Man who laid down His life for the sins of others.
Men - don’t be afraid to seek help - if you see someone who has what you want, do what they did - mentorship/discipleship is about finding men who are walking the walk and learning from them. Godly men help build godly men.
Men - you ARE leaving a legacy - and it’s either a positive one or a negative one - for your work AND your family!
Video games - being the hero in a game isn’t the same as being a hero for those you love!
Comparison is the thief of joy…be careful comparing yourself to others…
Friends are the men that call you to the carpet, expect more from you, want better for you, even than themselves! The only way you can get to the point where you’re willing to help others, even if it costs you, is to be transformed by the power of Jesus who modeled this ideal with His life and can empower you with His grace and love!
Marriage is a 100/0 covenant - you are going to love your wife no matter what…and she covenants to love you no matter what - it’s not a 50/50 agreement where you serve because you’ve been served.
Men - be the guy who cares about the lives of others - but, if you can also meet others where they’re at, if they need a friend who listens, be that friend.
Men - doing hard things is just part of life - if you can do some hard physical things, you can do some hard spiritual things!
Men - great perspective on the “stuff of this world” - if God gives it to you, you’re supposed to use it for His glory - more stuff = more glory for Him - is that your perspective on things?!
Men - it doesn’t matter where you came from, it matters what God thinks of you and where He can take you as you walk in obedience with Him!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Dan Panetti
The American Conservative
Male Malaise Is Not Just About ‘the Culture’
Big Business and Big Education have a hand in our boys’ failure to thrive.
The businesses that are attacking our boys - screens - video games and porn
Response to issues:
- Screens - video games and porn - address, limit…take responsibility for their negative impact - this is first and foremost a parenting issue…but if parents are not going to step in and provide guidelines and limits, then you as the young man wanting to mature and be successful have to do it yourself…
- Education - going to have to learn to play the game…read, study, don’t take short cuts, don’t be stupid in class…
Psalm 144:12
That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace.
Success in the home needs to be the top priority of the children of God!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Nick Bellamy and Johnny Farr
Chapter 11 False Gods
Principle: You are parenting a worshiper, so it’s important to remember that what rules your child’s heart will control his behavior.
WORSHIP - everything your child has ever said or done is rooted in worship. Worship is that inner desire for wonder, amazement, and awe that every human being possesses. It is that craving to be fulfilled. It is that constant search for life. It is wanting personal meaning and purpose. It’s that universal hunger for inner peace.
Your kids were made for God. The capacity of your children to worship is the most important biblical insight for parents. Since your children are worshipers, a vital skill for you is to learn how to lead them to confession. To say your children are worshipers means you have no power to free them from their biggest problem. Because your children are worshipers, your only hope for them is the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Chapter 12 Control
Principle: The goal of parenting is not control of behavior, but rather heart and life change.
Psalm 51
Your children need to see their sin, so they’ll cry out for God’s mercy.
Your children need to understand the nature of sin, so they don’t minimize its danger
Your children need to understand that their problem is not with their parents, but with God
Your children need to understand that sin is a nature problem that produces behavior problems
Your children need to understand that since sin is a heart problem, the only solution is a new heart
Your children need to be taught to run to the only place of hope: the forgiving grace of God
Chapter 13 Rest
Principle: It is only rest in God’s presence and grace that will make you a joyful and patient parent.
Your job is to do everything within your power, as an instrument in the hands of the Redeemer who has employed you, to woo, encourage, call, and train your children to willingly and joyfully live as disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ.
It’s not enough to tell your children what to do and what not to do. This passage calls every parent to a deeper goal. You must teach your children how to think about everything in a way that is pointedly God-centered.
Chapter 14 Mercy
Principle: No parent gives mercy better than one who is convinced that he desperately needs it himself.
Parenting is about being God’s ambassadors in the lives of our children.
Mercy is parenting with a tender heart.
Look for every opportunity to shower your children with grace.
Be careful to help your children see the heart behind behavior.
Remind your heart each morning to rest in the presence and power of your heavenly Father.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Nick Bellamy
Titus 2:2 - Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.
What do each of these characteristics mean…and how can you grow and mature in each of them?
Sober-minded - sensible, set apart, temperate, vigilant, meekness
- When you set your mind on God’s purpose, you can more easily battle against the temptations of the world/flesh that seek to distract and discourage you.
Dignified - to make worthy, venerable, honorable, grave, serious
- 1 Peter says that we are “royalty” - But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9
Self-controlled - safe in mind
- Young men start with self-control, but it’s a much needed character trait for all of life!
Sound in faith - sound means to have health, to be uncorrupted
- We want to be godly, not good. There is a difference!
Sound in love
- What do you love? Are the things that you love the things that God loves?
- Incredibles - “I am your wife. I am the greatest good you’re ever going to get!” Men, remember that - invest in your marriage, cherish your wife.
Sound in steadfastness - endurance, patient, cheerful, constancy
Send an email with these six characteristics to your friends and ask them to evaluate your progress in each!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Nick Bellamy and Johnny Farr
Chapter 8 Authority
Principle: One of the foundational heart issues in the life of every child is authority. Teaching and modeling the protective beauty of authority is one of the foundations of good parenting.
It’s important to always keep in mind that as a parent you are never just dealing with the words and actions of your children. You are always also dealing with the thing that shapes, directions, and controls the behavior of your children: the heart.
Sin makes us want our own way. Sin convinces all of us that we know better.
Mom and Dad, you have no ability at all–by the tone of your voice, by the force of your personality, by your physical size, or by your threats–to deliver your children from their addiction to self-rule.
But Jesus does have the power.
What is obedience? It’s a willing submission of my heart to the authorities that God has placed in my life.
Do you humbly own the rebellion of your own heart as you deal with the rebellion of your children in a way that causes you to exercise authority with patience and grace?
Chapter 9 Foolishness
Principle: The foolishness inside your children is more dangerous to them than the temptation outside of them. Only God’s grace has the power to rescue fools.
Your children disobey because of the pride, rebellion, autonomy, self-sufficiency, and desire for self-rule that control their hearts.
If the heart of your child does not change, his behavior won’t change for very long.
Proverbs 22:15 - “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” Foolishness - the propensity of our children to live as if God doesn’t exist.
Chapter 10 Character
Principle: Not all of the wrong your children do is a direct rebellion to authority; much of the wrong is the result of a lack of character.
It’s not enough to just emphasize the beauty of submission to authority. You must also emphasize the need for character development.
Your children don’t so much need character management as they need worship realignment.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Clint Davis, M.S., LPC, CSAT, CCTP, EMDR Provider, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist
Clint Davis Counseling
ClintDavisCounseling@gmail.com
318-562-6903
Clint Davis Asking Why podcast
Check out Clint’s new book: Building Better Bridges: A Guidebook to Having Difficult Conversations That Can Save Our Children
Transformation happens through relationships.
When sex is introduced into a relationship, the “emotional ceiling” is set in that relationship - meaning that the relationship is incapable of growing deeper beyond that point.
As men, we should lead in relationships by desiring what is best for the other person - respecting them, protecting them, honoring them, cherishing them - even if no one else is.
One of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. Not that you’ll be able to “control” everything; but you, empowered by the Holy Spirit, can control your thoughts. Walking in the Spirit is life, walking by the flesh is death.
Purity isn’t about your works and actions, it’s about how God sees you through the lens of His Son - redeemed, made new, family!
When we want our spouse to fill the eternal void in our lives, we crush them under the weight of eternity. But when Christ fills that void, then we are able to love another with the power of Christ.
Biblical living actually works - walk in His truth not only for your own benefit, but so that others can see the truth and be set free from the lies of this world!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Nick Bellamy and Johnny Farr
Chapter 4 Inability
Principle: Recognizing what you are unable to do is essential to good parenting.
It is vital that you believe and admit that you have no power whatsoever to change your child.
Parenting is not about exercising power for change in your children. Parenting is about your humble faithfulness in being willing to participate in God’s work of change for the sake of your children.
Parents, here’s what you need to understand: God has given you the authority for the work of change, but has not granted you the power to make that change happen.
Chapter 5 Identity
Principle: If you are not resting as a parent in your identity in Christ, you will look for identity in your children.
If you are not resting in your vertical identity, you will look horizontally, searching to find yourself and your reason for living in something in creation.
How do you know if you’re putting your identity on the shoulders of your children?
- Too much focus on success.
- Too much concern about reputation.
- Too great a desire for control.
- Too much emphasis on doing rather than being.
- Too much temptation to make it personal.
Chapter 6 Process
Principle: You must be committed as a parent to long-view parenting because change is a process and not an event.
Parenting is not a series of dramatic confrontation-confession events, but rather a life-long process of incremental awareness and progressive change.
The Bible states very clearly that one of the most dangerous aspects of sin, which all parents deal with personally and which all parents deal with in their children, is the fact that sin blinds.
What, by God’s grace, is clear to you is not clear to them. What seems obvious to you is not obvious to them.
Spiritually blind people are blind to their blindness.
Chapter 7 Lost
Principle: As a parent you’re not dealing just with bad behavior, but a condition that causes bad behavior.
Our children are not just disobedient; they are disobedient because they are lost.
Two big lies ever lost child believes:
- The first lie is the lie of autonomy. What this lie says is that I am a completely independent human being, and because I am, I have the right to live my life any way I choose to live it. It is the belief that my life belongs to me and that I should be able to do whatever I want with my life to make me happy. Part of this lie is the belief that no one should tell me what to do.
- The second lie is equally dangerous. It is the life of self-sufficiency. This lie tells your child that he has everything he needs inside himself to be what he needs to be and to do what he needs to do. He doesn’t need your help, rescue, instruction, wisdom, or correction.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Chris Sherrod, Marriage and Family Director, Watermark Community Church, Dallas, TX
What is the “state of marriage” in America?
- Over the past 50 years, the marriage rate has dropped by almost 60%
- The number of women entering their first marriage between the ages of 40 and 59 has jumped 75% in 1990
Men, how can you be “successful” in your marriage and leading your family?
- OYOG - Own Your Own Growth. Leading your family starts with your own spiritual growth and maturity! You can’t teach what you don’t know; you can’t pass on what you don’t have. Oxygen mask example - put yours on first! The fruit of godliness starts with the seed of godliness being planted in you first. If something is important, you make time for it; if it’s not important, you make excuses.
- Leading means “encouraging faith in their heart.” You need to know what encourages faith in your wife and children. Leadership isn’t just a one-way street, you need to learn to ask questions…Jesus asked more questions than He answered!
- Ephesians 5 concept - love, serve, and lead. God wants your dependence, not your performance. Love your wife unconditionally, as Christ loved the church (sacrificially). This is a daily opportunity! Take the initiative to “wash her with the Word” - whatever that looks like for you, look for opportunities to engage each other with the Word of God!
- Great question to ask: “How can I be praying for you?”
- Deut. 6 - “teach your children” from a Biblical perspective means to “sharpen them.” When can you do this? Find windows of opportunities - in the morning, at dinner, when you put them to bed, etc. Great resource for this is Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms by Justin Whitmel Earley.
- Create a place in your home that has your “Ebenezer stones of remembrance” - symbols of God’s goodness and provision in the history of your life and family - and go back and tell the stories of what God has done for you to your kids and grandkids (see Psalm 78).
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Nick Bellamy and Johnny Farr
Introduction
Good parenting, which does what God intends it to do, begins with this radical and humbling recognition that our children don’t actually belong to us.
Good parents don’t always produce good kids, and parents should constantly be asking themselves where they get the set of values that tell them whether they have “good” kids or not.
Chapter 1 Calling
Principle: Nothing is more important in your life than being one of God’s tools to form a human soul.
How has the value of career success impacted your commitment to the work that God has called you to as parents?
- Your Life…Well Spent: The Eternal Rewards of Investing Yourself and Your Money in Your Family by Russ Crosson
Your work as a parent is a thing of extreme value because God has designed that you would be a principal, consistent, and faithful tool in his hands for the purpose of creating God-consciousness and God-submission in your children.
Your kids will never be what they’re supposed to be or do if they lack God-consciousness.
Chapter 2 Grace
Principle: God never calls you to a task without giving you what you need to do it. He never sends you without going with you.
No child really wants to be parents by parents who think that they’re able. “Able” parents tend to be proud and self-assured parents.
And “able” parents tend to want their children to be trophies, a public demonstration of their ability.
God’s greatest and most wonderful gift to you as a parent is himself! He knows how hard your task is.
Here’s the humbling conclusion that God, in grace, led me to: I am more like my children than unlike them - and so are you!
Chapter 3 Law
Principle: Your children need God’s law, but you cannot ask the law to do what only grace can accomplish.
If rules and regulations had the power to change the heart and life of your child, rescuing your child from himself and giving him a heart of submission and faith, Jesus would have never needed to come!
A child who does not see himself clearly will resist his parents’ wisdom, guidance, discipline, and correction. Why? Because he doesn’t think he needs it.
It’s not our children’s sin that is in the way of good parenting; it’s our tendency to make parenting about our little kingdom of wants, needs, and desires, and our tendency to want our children to serve the purposes of our kingdom rather than submit to the purposes of God’s kingdom.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Mike Johnson, Congressman from District 4, Louisiana and newly elected Speaker of the House of Representatives
Guys, I’m replaying an episode that I record with Congressman Mike Johnson about a year ago - he’s sharing his Seven Core Principles of Conservatism and I want you to know what an incredible godly man Mike is and listen to him speak about the guiding principles that helped shape our nation into the great country it is today! Join me in praying for Mike and his wife Kelly and their children as Mike takes the mantle of leadership in the House. Also find Mike’s podcast Telling the Truth if you want to listen to a great podcast about government from a biblical perspective!
Seven Core Principles of Conservatism
- Individual Freedom
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- Individual liberties should be protected against the imposition of government intrusion - life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness 2. Purpose of Government is to secure our God-given rights
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- Limited Government
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- When government expands, liberty contracts 2. Legitimate government exists only by the consent of the governed 3. The Constitution provides important safeguards - separation of powers, federalism, etc.. 4. Best protection against government largesse - involved and informed electorate
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- Rule of Law
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- No king above the law, everyone subject to the law 2. Law must be implied partially and fairly to everyone 3. Each branch of government must perform their function, but not overstep its boundary
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- Peace through Strength
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- Provide for the common defense - citizens, property, interests abroad…part of the Preamble of the Constitution 2. Must remain the strongest power 3. National security includes border security
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- Fiscal Responsibility
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- Most significant threat to national security - our national debt
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- Free Markets
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- Allows for innovation and expansion - gives people the liberty to take risks and pursue their dreams 2. Competition should be encouraged 3. People and the private sector outperform government every time
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- Human Dignity
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- Everyone created in the image of God and has intrinsic value
- People should be measured by the content of their character
- Hard work should be the pathway out of public assistance
- Protect the life of the unborn - from womb to tomb
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Trog Trogdon, Kingdom Focus Coaching
Email: info@kingdomfocus.life
Trog - if you had a Ferrari in the garage, would you be content with reading the manual or would you rather drive it?! The walk of obedience, with God, is better and more exciting than driving the Ferrari!
5 Question Method of Discipleship
- Bible study - what passage of Scripture have you been memorizing or meditating on this week?
- Bible Reading Plan & Study Material - what questions or thoughts do you have from your Bible reading time this week?
- Prayer & Journaling - what else has the Holy Spirit been speaking to you during your quiet time with him?
- Serving Others - how have you loved or served your neighbor this week (and what impact did it have on you)?
- Sharing the Gospel - how have you shared your faith in Christ this week or planted gospel seeds?
First three questions are about the development of your inward men, the others are about building community and impacting the world around you!
Know…where you are in your walk with Christ.
Grow…in Him.
Go…teach others.
Trog - You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. Yes, but I can salt the oats and walk him on a hot day!!!
Trog - if you really want to experience God, go and make disciples (Francis Chan).
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Trog Trogdon, Kingdom Focus Coaching
Email: info@kingdomfocus.life
Proverbs 20:5 - The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.
What is God doing in your heart? Trog calls this process “Directed Discovery.”
Trog - “If you stop learning, you stop living.” We are always being discipled, it’s just a question of who is discipling/training us.
The Bible is the only book that reads you while you read it! The Bible is the only book that when you read it, the author is there with you!
Trog - are you wanting to get high from the world’s standpoint, or are you wanting to be with the Most High?!
Psalm 16:11 - “...in your presence there is fullness of joy…” Why are you looking for joy in the temporary things of the world that won’t satisfy? It’s like eating rice cakes - God is the sustainer of life, He can fill the deepest void and longing of your life!
Trog - “rejection is God’s protection.” God loves us enough to not let us stay where we are - when God wants to move us, at times it can be painful - but it’s worth it!
Discipleship is us helping others discover God’s plans for their lives - “directed discovery”!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Shea Sumlin, Lead Teaching Pastor, Northway Church, Dallas, TX
Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labor of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. Habakkuk 3:17-18
So many in our generation are averse to suffering. But suffering is coming. What can you do to best prepare for suffering and learn from the hardships you’re going through?
“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” C.S. Lewis
When suffering comes, rest on these Biblical principles:
- God’s Promises to His people that He will work out all things for the good of His people
- God’s Providence that demonstrate that He is in control of all things
- God’s Presence that He will never leave you or forsake you
Generations: The Real Differences between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers, and Silents - and What They Mean for America’s Future by Jean M. Twenge, Ph.D.
Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices by Thomas Brooks
One of the purposes of suffering is that you’ll be able to take the comfort that God has shown you and share that with others going through difficult times. Read 2 Corinthians 1 for more on this.
How to best prepare for suffering:
- Get in the Word so that you can draw close to God and gain an eternal perspective on things
- Build deep Christ-centered community
- Prayerfully seek God and His Promises, His Providence, and His Presence in the midst of tough times.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Dan Panetti
Guys, we have an incredible opportunity to do relationships well - the way that God designed and intended for them to be done - and to get the incredible results that God designed - that our relationships would enhance and empower our lives and better those around us! But, it will come at a cost - we have to be honest about what it will cost and be willing to invest our time, talents, and treasure into meaningful and significant relationships!
In this episode, we talk about the strategies to walking out these meaningful relationships:
- We have to be willing to be counter-cultural. While others are settling for self-serving relationships, we are going to be working for God-honoring, self-sacrificing relationships.
- We have to put to death the deeds of the flesh - as John Owen wrote, “Be killing sin, or sin will be killing you.”
- We have to go slowly in our relationships, establishing proper boundaries that honor, respect, and cherish the other person and God’s design.
- We must work to protect our sisters in Christ.
- We must walk with the wise if we are wanting to grow wise.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Dan Panetti
“This book will keep you from sin, and sin will keep you from this book.” John Bunyan
Holiness is the goal.
Sin separates. God has a design for sex - and God’s way works BEST!
Purity protects - men, you are called to keep, cultivate, love, cherish, nourish, sacrifice, honor, and protect!
If you’re in a dating/marriage relationship, and the woman you are with is not getting better because of being with you, then you’re not doing it right!!!
Holiness costs - you were created for deep, intimate, meaningful relationships. Lust short-circuits and short-changes what God has intended. Love costs.
Satan lies - don’t believe the bill of goods that the world is trying to sell you! Sin will take you farther than you wanted to go, keep you longer than you wanted to stay, and cost you more than you wanted to pay!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Cory Butler, Lead Students Minister, Citizens Church
Numbers 1-5 are on last week’s episode with Cory, this week we are looking at numbers 6-10.
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Long obedience in the same direction
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Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society by Eugene Peterson
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Hebrews 12:10-11 - For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
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Awareness of how culture disciples (trains/teaches/shapes) us
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Reminder to connect yourself first to Christ, then children to your parents - not their peers - if children are connected primarily to their peers, their growth and development will be limited and lack creativity
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Feelings are good servants and terrible kings (so many boys don’t know how to feel)
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One of the good things that has been brought forth from the COVID crisis was the increase in people seeking professional licensed counseling - remember that as Christians, we should be seeking BIBLICAL counseling!
- The Place We Find Ourselves, a podcast from Adam Young, LCSW, MDiv.
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Proverbs 12:15 - The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
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Hard things aren’t necessarily bad things (some of the best things require the most work)
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Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations by Alex and Brett Harris
- Serious Times: Making Your Life Matter in an Urgent Day by James Emery White
- The only thing that grows without work is weeds. If you want to cultivate a garden, it will take effort.
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Catching Foxes: A Gospel-Guided Journey to Marriage by John Henderson
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You can be humble and strong (Biblical paradox, concept of “meekness”)
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Humility: The Journey Towards Holiness by Andrew Murray
- From Humility: No tree can grow except on the root from which it sprang - if your root is humility, then humility will be the fruit of your life. The chief mark of counterfeit holiness is its lack of humility.
- Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers by Dane Ortlund
10(a) - put Biblical definitions on things - don’t look with the world’s eyes, but through the Word of God - this is the development of a “Biblical worldview.”
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Cory Butler, Lead Students Minister, Citizens Church
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Embracing limitations - learning to rest and cease striving
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Understanding and appreciating the importance of Sabbath rest!
- The cultural pull is “to do more” - this will be connected to #3 - your commitment to one thing means a rejection of something else!
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Good resource to address the place of technology in your family is The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place by Andy Crouch
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Listening to the HS and obeying Him - which means prioritizing time to listen
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Distraction is the greatest threat to our spiritual lives right now. Prayerlessness is us thinking that can we do the things that God has called us to on our own - not possible!
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Saying yes to something means saying no to something else
- Your Life…Well Spent: The Eternal Rewards of Investing Yourself and Your Money in Your Family by Russ Crosson
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You need to say yes to reading - develop a reading plan and have others hold you accountable to reach your reading goals.
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Modeling/Imitating the life of Jesus
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Be “interruptible” - look for God-moments and divine appointments!
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Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms by Justin Whitmel Earley
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The beauty of discipline - enjoying that self-control that comes from the HS
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Don’t look at fasting as a lack of something good, but preparation for something great!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Coach Jeff Clarkson
Guys, who were the most influential coaches in your life? What character qualities do you admire the most about them and their influence?
Coach Clarkson - it’s often said that sports builds character, but they also reveal character!
How do you walk the line between the competitiveness of athletics and the walk of the Christian to “think of others as better than yourself” (Phil. 2:3). The issue here is identity - do you find your identity primarily as an athlete or a follower of Jesus? Your identity will shape your attitude.
A great rivalry on the court/field and great respect for each other off is the goal of athletic competition.
If your identity is as a follower of Christ, remember that you take that with you on the court - you never put your identity on hold. What you do reveals your identity. In athletics, most of what is measured has nothing to do with a person’s character. You’re going to improve in the things that you measure - remember that! If you become a better basketball player and a worse person, that’s a bad trade-off in life!
There are things that happen in sports…and life…that are not “fair.” The question is what are you going to do with those things - they can either defeat/deflate you or you can learn from them and move forward. Coach Clarkson - it’s not the mistake, it’s what you’re going to do after - “What’s next?!”
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Dr. Justin Hillhouse, Missions/Men’s Ministry Pastor, Cottonwood Creek Church
Men, we need to learn to own our mistakes, take responsibility for our actions, admit when we’re wrong - just call it like it is!
Guys - we are our own biggest fans - we love us some me! Funny, the Bible actually calls us to love others like we love ourselves!
A good friend is the one who tells you the most truth - are you a good friend to others…do you have good friends who are willing to tell you the truth?!
What we do affects others.
To read more about the fascinating story of King David numbering the people and his consequences, look at 2 Samuel 24. To read more about the story of King David owning his actions against Nabal and Abigail’s stepping in and calling David out, read more about it in 1 Samuel 25. David, like us, at times owns his mistakes (sins), and at times he doesn’t. But when confronted with his sin, David repents of his actions and turns back to God.
HOW do I own my own mistakes? Start small. Own the little things and you’ll develop the habit (and character) to own larger ones!
Are we honest people - think about the amount of TIME you “steal” from your employer! Most people work an average of 20 minutes a day. That is unacceptable. Men, do you work as unto the Lord (Colossians 3:23) - which means that we need to work hard and with integrity, regardless of who is watching or what we’re being paid.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Gabe Boyd and Michael Thornberry
Point Man: How a Man Can Lead His Family (Revised & Updated Version) by Steve Farrar
Chapter 9 Save the Girls
Girls need relational connection.
Girls long to feel safe.
Girls process their world differently than boys do.
Girls face significant challenges as they enter their teens.
Girls need healthy boundaries.
Girls need dad’s active engagement.
Girls need to be assured of their innate beauty.
Chapter 10 Telling Your Kids What You Don’t Want to Tell Them
Howard Hendricks - why should we be ashamed to discuss what God was not ashamed to create?
A man is responsible to teach his children about sex.
Better to be “attached” to parents and learn from them than from peers!
Chapter 11 Start Your Own Nation
Even the poorest man that has a family is to be prophet, priest, and king in his own home. Oliver Heywood
Jeremiah 29:5-7 - seek the welfare of the city - start families, be prosperous…even in the midst of the evil around you…
Be a good citizen…elections are just around the corner!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Chas Taylor
Everyday I spend time with God - because that’s important in discerning the voice of God. “Spending time” with God includes reading God’s Word - do you have a reading plan that helps you to focus and allows others to hold you accountable. It can also include prayer - a two-way street of communication between you and God.
Psalm 118:8 - It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.
Are you trusting in God and His direction for your life? First step is being OPEN to LISTEN to the voice and leading of the Lord! The second step is to be OBEDIENT to what the Lord shows you!
Discerning the voice of God is both “super personal” and involves the affirmation of Godly counsel and community.
How do we put ourselves in a position to hear the voice of God? God invites us to surrender ourselves, our priorities, our plans to His purpose.
Discerning the voice of God requires patience - and remember that God might be answering other questions than the particular one that you’re focused on at that time - God’s timing is perfect.
Discerning the voice of God is helped by removing the “noise” around you so that you can listen more closely! You might need to have some quiet time - some “wilderness” moments that you can plan to get away from the normal/noise that can help heighten our senses to hear God’s leading in our lives. Fasting can help you “focus” on the things of God by giving you a physical reminder - when your body tells you that you’re physically hungry, take time to fill your mind with the Word of God - fast from the physical to focus on the spiritual!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Gabe Boyd and Michael Thornberry
Point Man: How a Man Can Lead His Family (Revised & Updated Version) by Steve Farrar
Chapter 6 Husband and Wife Teamwork in the Marriage Cockpit
Teamwork within marriage…
- Mutual understanding of the Romo-Whitten Principle
- Mutual accountability
- Mutual submission
Man as a poor understanding of authority when…
- He lacks interest in his wife’s input and disregards her feelings
- He forbids the children to discuss his decisions
- He trusts few people
- He displays an intense need to control those closest to him
A mature man…
- Loves his wife sacrificially
- Loves his wife with understanding
- Loves his wife with verbal praise
- Encourages his wife to use her gifts
One way that some men keep from being mutually accountable is through intimidation.
Chapter 7 Restoring the Ancient Boundaries of Gender and Marriage
A child’s sexuality is at the very core of his identity.
In our culture, two things are being assumed…
- Gender is not fixed; it is fluid
- Marriage is not restricted to one man and one woman…
Genesis 1:27
- Our maleness and femaleness is an essential part of our humanity as God has created us
- It is good to be male and it is good to be female - because in either case, we bear the image of God
- We have neither the right nor the power to change the sex that God has given us because it is a part of his created order
Chapter 8 How to Raise Masculine Sons and Feminine Daughters
“Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children.” William Penn
Ephesians 6:4 - Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
How can a father embitter this children:
- By overprotection
- By favoritism
- By discouragement
- By forgetting that a child is growing up, has a right to ideas of his own, and the need not to be an exact copy of his father
- By neglect
- By bitter words and outright physical cruelty
Fathers should raise their children with tenderness:
- Listen to them and respect their feelings
- If you have been wrong or too harsh, be man enough to confess and ask their forgiveness
- Listen to the input your wife gives you about each child
- Be “high touch” and dispense liberal doses of encouragement
- Consider them temperaments
Give your children the three A’s
Attention
Affection
Affirmation
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Dan Panetti
Men think it a shame to be ignorant of their trade, but no shame to be ignorant of God. Thomas Watson
Truth knowledge brings a man out of love with himself. The more he knows, the more he blushes at his own ignorance. Thomas Watson
Colossians 1:9-14
And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has QUALIFIED you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
1 Timothy 3 - good to desire to be an overseer…
Competency and Character - which one is more important in your life?
HOW do you develop this godly character - 1 Timothy 3:8 - TRAIN…just like an athlete practices, works hard refining their craft, you have to do the same thing!!!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Point Man Book Study (2 of 4)
Guest: Gabe Boyd and Michael Thornberry
Point Man: How a Man Can Lead His Family (Revised & Updated Version) by Steve Farrar
Chapter 3 Real Men Don’t
Real men don’t commit adultery.
“Affair” vs. “Adultery”
An affair is “an escape from reality, or a search for meaning outside the marriage.”
Usually happens in the life of a man who is either bored or frustrated with his marriage.
When you leave your wife to commit adultery with another woman, you take yourself with you. And you are your biggest problem.
1 Samuel 2:30 - “Those who honor Me, I will honor.”
The lure of adultery is that another woman will truly meet your needs.
Chapter 4 A One-Woman Kind of Man
Commitment - Cortes - “burn the ships”...no turning back…
Guys, if we are going to save our boys, then we must save our marriages.
Be careful of adopting the thinking of today - don’t I have a “right to be happy”?
1 Timothy 3:2 and Titus 1:6 - character qualifications for spiritual leaders in the church…
- Includes being a “man of one woman” - or a “one-woman kind of man”
A one-woman kind of man is a man who demonstrates his commitment by disciplining his eyes.
W.M. Taylor said, “Temptation rarely comes in working hours. It is in their leisure time that men are made or marred.”
Temptation itself is not sin but a call to battle…
Chapter 5 Anorexic Men and Their Bulimic Cousins
“We owe the Scripture the same reverence which we owe to God.”
John Calvin
Strategy #3 - To effectively sever and alienate a man from the spiritual disciplines that will keep him fit and effective for spiritual battle.
Problem 1 - men don’t know the Word
Problem 2 - men don’t know how to apply the Word to their lives…
Howard Hendricks - “In the spiritual realm, the opposite of ignorance is not knowledge, but obedience.”
How to fight spiritual anorexia and bulimia - Psalm 1
“His delight is in the law of the Lord and in His law he MEDITATES day and night.”
Spiritual Plan to Read the Bible:
- Plan a time
- Plan a place
- Make a list
- Begin with Scripture
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: J. Josh Smith
Senior Pastor, Prince Avenue Baptist Church
Josh began his ministry as senior pastor of Prince Avenue Baptist Church on January 14, 2018. Josh was the senior pastor of MacArthur Boulevard Baptist Church in Irving, Texas for 12 years before coming to Prince. Josh received his Bachelors in Cross-Cultural Studies from Liberty University, a Masters of Divinity from Southeastern Seminary, and a Doctor of Ministry in Expository Preaching from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his wife Andrea, have four daughters and one son.
The Titus Ten: Foundations for Godly Manhood - Bible Study Book with Video Access
Josh - Go to work, work hard. Go home, work hard. Go to bed tired (from previous episode).
What does it mean that men need to have “ZEAL?”
Men - go to church, take your Bible, take a journal, take notes, be engaged - model this for others to see, especially your children!
Zeal has three parts:
- Knowledge. Your zeal must be grounded in the Word of God - seeing the world (and ourselves) through the lens of Scripture and God’s design. Proverbs 19:2 says that zeal without knowledge is not good!
- Passion. Romans 12:11 says to be fervent in your zeal.
- Action. Knowing the Lord, seeing what needs to be done, and having the passion to do the right thing should then result in us doing something!
Josh - another word for zeal would just be a Biblical understanding of LOVE. When we love the Lord, we will be moved to passionate action…we simply can not sit on the sidelines and not engage in the great battle for souls!
Do you have as much zeal/passion for the things of the Lord as you do for the things of the world?
What about guys that are a little more “reserved” - I’m just not that kind of guy - Revelation 3 tells us that God hates a lack of zeal - be either hot or cold, but don’t be “lukewarm” - a person without zeal!
The temperature of a man’s heart is the temperature of his home. What you’re passionate about will affect and infect those around you!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Gabe Boyd and Michael Thornberry
Memorial Service Celebrating the Life and Legacy of Dr. Steven James Farrar
Point Man: How a Man Can Lead His Family (Revised & Updated Version) by Steve Farrar
Chapter 1 Point Man on Patrol
It is harder to lead a family than to rule a nation. Chinese Proverb
Dr. James Dobson - “I believe, with everything within me, that husbands hold the keys to the preservation of the family.”
Dan - every member of the family important - as MEN, we are responsible for being the leaders of our homes, the best husbands/fathers that we can be
The man’s job is to cultivate his family - the spiritual lives of your wife and children should be GROWING…
- Honest assessment - is your family better off spiritually because of the work that you’re investing into them…leading, modeling, praying, studying, etc…? Are you guiding your children toward success and prosperity in terms of God’s economy?
Chapter 2 Save The Boys
The First Principle of Fathering: Being There
Error increases with distance - if you are going to save the boys, you must start by being there.
Less Time = Less Influence
The Second Principle of Fathering: Teaching Them to ACT Like Men
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Ty Olsen
The last five Psalms (146-150) all begin with this verse: “Praise the Lord!”
Worship (singing in particular) is one of the graces that God uses to bless His children. The Psalms (songs in Scripture) were used by generations past to draw closer to God.
God’s grace in our lives demands something, a response - singing is one avenue to respond and show God’s worth (worship) to the watching world.
“Singing has a natural effect of joy in the heart. But so also, it has the power of rendering the heart joyful.”
William Law, A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life
Singing is both an act of worship and an act of discipline.
Clarification - the “Million Man March” in Washington, DC was a gathering of African American men on October 16, 1995. Promise Keepers had a different gathering in the nation’s capital at the National Mall that was much smaller on October 4, 1997.
The natural response of seeing something beautiful is expressing it…sharing it with others. If something is really compelling your heart, you aren’t fully experiencing it unless you’re telling somebody! The way we worship and the joy we experience is an incredible testimony to a watching world of our true understanding of God’s goodness.
Matthew 26:30 - And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Bruce Curran
Tough times are a part of every journey, but you do have a choice to make of what you’ll do with the pain - will you listen and learn from it, or numb the pain in an attempt to avoid the reality of it?
Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Have you sought after God with all of your heart?
“Draw nigh to God and He will draw nigh to you,” is the good old King James Version of James 4:8, which is translated to “Come near to God and He will come near to you” in the New International Version.
Bruce: “I’m thankful for my cancer. It’s made me a different person, a better person; and a man madly in love with my God.”
Dan: Pain wasn’t just an indicator that something was wrong, but also as an opportunity to learn. Pain is a reminder that there is a better day coming - are you prepared for that day?
Are you in pain? Are you interested enough to stop numbing the pain and start learning from it? Will you seek the truth and not settle for anything less?
We have something similar in our lives to the TPMS on our cars - is your “check engine” light in your life going off…are you ignoring it? You ignore the pain in your life at your own peril.
Bruce: If you don’t deal with the pain in your life, you take it with you into everything that you do - your marriage, your parenting, your work, etc.
Physical pain - go see a doctor. Heart/emotional pain - go seek Godly counsel.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Bruce Curran
Mentoring another person is a learning process - for both individuals! As you love Christ more and more, you can share that love with others - that’s the mentoring and discipleship process.
Family of origin is very important to the development of a person’s heart - how were you raised, what truths/lies were presented to you as normal, what were you taught, how were you trained - you have to dig deep into the heart issues so that you can wrestle with these ideas and move forward in life.
“Soul-care” is often ignored or overlooked, but is so important in your life - you take care of yourself physically…and now mental health wellbeing has been promoted…but what about the health and wellbeing of your soul…is that not as or ever more important?!
Love is the most powerful force in the entire universe - and Scripture says that “God is love” (1 John 4:8). If you’re willing to search for love, start with the Word of God…and ask God to reveal Himself to you - and then pay attention, look and listen for God’s communication to you about Himself and His love for you.
Happiness is generally based on your circumstances, JOY is the essence of the presence of God that is based on Him and not on you. Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit - and if you want the fruit of joy, you need to have yourself rooted in Christ.
Upon what are you building your home/life - on the convenience of this world or on the foundation of Jesus Christ - see the story that Jesus taught in Matthew 7 about this principle.
When the storms of life come, are you asking God what you’re supposed to learn from the trials and tribulations…or do you see yourself as a victim and look to blame others for your problems?
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Sir Duncan
Sir is on The Traveling Team - to financially support Sir, please go here.
What is The Traveling Team?
The Traveling Team has been stirring university students all over the country to rise up and join God in reaching the world for Jesus Christ. Think of us as a missions conference on wheels.
What is Kaleo?
Kaleo is an experience that provides college students with an exciting opportunity for developing in their leadership, character, and FAITH. Kaleo is hosted by Student Mobilization, whose mission is to build spiritual leaders for Christ from the college campuses of the world.
Sir’s mom helped mold and shape him from boyhood to manhood, but there were also other older men who spoke truth into his life, including Sir’s grandfather.
Guys, be careful that sports do not become an idol in your life - Sir’s reminder to young guys is that our passion for sports is a picture of our desire for something larger and more meaningful in life - and that is a relationship with God!
According to Wycliffe Global Alliance, 1.45 billion people, including 5,509 languages, do not have a full Bible in their first language. This includes people who have some Scripture as well as people who have none. It represents about 20 percent of the global population and 75 percent of the world’s languages.
If you get a chance to visit the Museum of the Bible in Washington, DC, please go - it’s an amazing journey into the history of God’s Word!
Sir’s recommendation - if you’re wrestling with who God is and what the Bible is all about…keep wrestling, reading, exploring!!!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Jason Illian
Difference between growing up going to church and having the church grow up in you. Difference between a church-goer and a disciple-maker.
What Jason is trying to teach his kids:
- Be teachable. 1 Peter 5:5 - “Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders.” Cultivate curiosity. Allow/encourage failure in the small things.
- Be adaptable. John 3:8 - “The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
- Develop self-discipline.
- Be a man of prayer.
- God first. Matthew 6:33 - “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
These are great attributes that should be a part of your life. If you didn’t have an older man mentor you and show you how to live out these concepts, you can start these on your own…and pass them along to your sons and daughters!
Learn the lesson of internal/external pressure from the submarine. As long as what is on the inside is more “powerful” than the pressure from the outside, you’ll be safe.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Grayson Frank
What is your definition of “marriage” - what’s the relationship intended for, why is it important, what should you be doing to work on your marriage? God’s definition of marriage is significantly different than the world’s, so be careful when you fall into the trap thinking about the purpose of marriage and you end up using a different definition and standard than God’s intent for the relationship that He designed!
The marriage relationship exposes the self-centered nature of each individual. Marriage is the anvil upon which God shapes you into the image of His Son. Powerful imagery.
Try to keep your expectations in line with reality - the difference between the two is the amount of frustration and anxiety that you’ll experience in life!
The only thing that can truly “fill” the void in your heart is God Himself. If you expect a person to “complete” you or “make you happy,” you’re going to be disappointed.
4 “A’s” of Divorce (things to guard against):
- Abuse
- Adultery
- Abandonment
- Apathy
Whatever you have leftover from the “work day” is what you take home and give to your wife and family - is that sufficient to sustain a healthy marriage relationship?
Is your wife “better” after being with you?
Saying that “my wife doesn’t make me happy” is asking the wrong question - you should be asking, “Do I make my wife happy?”
“Go to work, work hard. Go home, work hard. Go to bed tired.” Josh Smith, T4M episode.
When your marriage is bad, it’s like a black hole sucking the life out of everyone around you. When your marriage is good, it’s like a tree providing security and fruit for others.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Tyler Amburn
Tyler - alcoholics can tend to be emotionally immature. Something happens in their life that in some sense stunts their emotional growth and alcohol becomes their emotional coping mechanism.
Tyler - had the accountability, but as Jesus said in Matthew 26:41, “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” There has to be a power greater than yourself that you can rely on in times of weakness - AA talks about that “Higher Power” and we know that His name is Jesus!
Shoutout to Madison Michener with the Amarillo Livestock Auction for sharing the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ!
Every man needs another man…or a few of them…to mentor/disciple them in the faith and in life. Tyler’s list of older men include his grandfather (Pawpaw), Madison Michener, and J.D. Ferguson - who are the men in your life speaking truth into your life and calling you up to the man that God has created you to be?!
Tyler - wish I could go back and tell myself about the importance and power of forgiveness, letting go of past hurts and pains, and letting God heal those wounds.
Great resources to help you wrestle with those personal hurts in your life:
When People Are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man by Edward Welch
The Bait of Satan: Living Free from the Deadly Trap of Offense by John Bevere
When you get to the point that you’re ready to forgive and release, your obedience is all that is necessary for your healing - the other person may not respond by admitting their fault or asking for forgiveness from you - Tyler, “it’s all about keeping your side of the street clean” - as Christians we know that God is the one who has cleaned our side of the street with His grace and we can extend that same grace and forgiveness to others, whether they “deserve” it or not!
Tyler - my biggest times of growth are when I’m surrounded by Godly men who can speak life and truth into my life - “get into their hip pocket” and “drop the pride.”
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Dr. Connor Bales
Psalm 119:9-16
How can a young man keep his way pure (unstained, on track, moving toward success without hindrance)?
- By guarding it according to your word. You need to filter everything through the lens of the Word of God - your life, relationships, emotions, attitudes, career, etc.
- Go “ALL IN” with God. “With my whole heart I seek you.” A life with God through Christ is worth going “all in” for - giving your all to Him and letting Him guide and direct your steps. When we “bet” our lives on anything less than Jesus, we lose.
- Study and learn God’s Word. “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”
- Stay teachable (coachable). “Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes.” No greater source we can learn from than God’s Word.
- Speak God’s truth. “With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth.” Men speak truth. Period. Dangerous statement is “I think that…” - better statement is “God’s Word says this…”
- Find your greatest joy in Jesus. “In the way of your testimonies I delight, as much as in all riches.” God is your transcendent source of joy and an “explosive happiness.” Do not look for your identity and joy in your accomplishments.
- Give your thought life to God. “I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.” What thoughts are you letting roll around in your mind? Social media is designed so that you don’t spend time thinking about one thing deeply.
- Define genuine joy, seek after it, and don’t forget it when you get there. “I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word.” If Jesus is your joy, then seek after Him - what are the things that “give you more Jesus”? What is truly important to you - write it down, tell it to others (importance of community - not meant to be a reservoir, but a river of God’s blessings).
If your life is successful by the world’s standards, but not by God’s…your life is an eternal failure.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Michael Craven
Colson Fellows: Gain Wisdom, Live Faithfully, Act Courageously.
Alasdair MacIntyre - After Virtue: A Study in Moral Theory - “Before I can answer the question what am I to do, I must first answer the prior question what story or stories do I find myself a part.”
The “larger” picture in which you are a part of: Creation, Fall, Redemption, Restoration
4 Questions You Should Be Asking:
- What is good in this world that I can preserve, protect, and promote?
- What is missing in this world that I can innovate, create, or design?
- What is evil in this world that I must stand against?
- What is broken in this world that I can restore?
What is good in this world that I can preserve, protect, and promote? Marriage. Where do I start? With your own marriage!
What is evil that I can stand against? There are “larger” evils like abortion, but don’t forget about those “smaller” sins in your own life - what about gossip, gluttony, rudeness, etc.
What is broken in this world that I can restore? Without a biblical worldview, you won’t be able to see and understand how the world is supposed to function so you’ll miss those things that aren’t performing well or are broken and need to be fixed.
Ideas have consequences. Bad ideas have victims.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Michael Perron
When we agree with a “delusional idea,” we can get frustrated and angry. The “spirit of stupid” can jump on us and dumb things happen.
Where does this start? The idea that men feel “displaced” - they feel frustrated by pursuing something that isn’t significant or meaningful - the “world system” or the proverbial “rat race” isn’t meant to fulfill your deepest longings and desires.
Displacement leads to futility…like swabbing the decks on the Titanic! Work was intended to give man significance if done with an eternal perspective, as working for the Lord and not for man (Colossians 3:23). Hard work isn’t the problem, hard work that depletes your spirit and energy returning to you only temporary things (like money) will result, ultimately, in frustration.
Men - you can “recalibrate” - you can get out of the rat race and move in a different direction. But you have to stop and ask the important questions that address the foundation upon which you’re building your life and legacy. Moving in a different direction will feel foreign and the decision will be difficult, but it’s worth it in the end!
Anger isn’t always violence, volume, or venom, sometimes anger is passivity…the “cold shoulder” or the silent treatment.
What is the solution?
- Find your correct identity as a creation of God meant for a meaningful and significant relationship with Him, made possible through the loving sacrifice of His only begotten Son Jesus!
- Find a mentor, an older man whose life you want to emulate - and spend time with him, ask him questions about how to navigate life!
- Stop looking at the world system to give you what only God can provide - peace, love, fulfillment, meaning, significance, purpose…if you’re a fig tree, start producing figs.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Jordan Whicker, Ethan Severin, Cole Travis
The Ultimate Gift is a fictional story about the journey of a young man named Jason Stevens who is the spoiled, rotten grand-nephew of Red Stevens, who leaves a series of “gifts” for Jason to learn, under the guidance and tutelage of his attorney friend Theodore J. Hamilton. Each chapter is a new “gift” that Jason must learn - and, as a young man, you need to learn as well.
The Gift of Gratitude
“I have often found it ironic that the people in this world who have the most to be thankful for are often the least thankful, and somehow the people who have virtually nothing, many times live lives full of gratitude.”
GK Chesterton quote:
“Among the rich you will never find a really generous man even by accident. They may give their money away, but they will never give themselves away; they are egotistic, secretive, dry as old bones. To be smart enough to get all that money you must be dull enough to want it.”
“The legacy of the Golden list” - those ten things that you are truly thankful for in your life…Jason’s list: his health, his home,his friends
Book recommendations:
The Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges
Play the Man by Mark Batterson
The Gift of a Day
“When you face your own mortality, you contemplate how much of life you have lived versus how much you have left. It is like the sand slipping through an hourglass. I know that at some point I will have the last day of my life. I have been thinking about how I would want to live that day or what I would do if I had just one day left to live.”
- The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch…
“But after much thought, I have come to realize that my perfect day would be filled with the best of the simple things.”
Walk slowly - the most important person is the one right in front of you.
The Gift of Love
Love is a treasure for which we can never pay. The only way to keep it is to give it away.
“Love is a misused and overused term in our society. It is applied to any number of frivolous things and pursuits; but the love I am talking about in the gift of love is the goodness that comes only from God.”
“When we truly love others, our love makes each one of us a different person, and it makes each one we love a different person too.”
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Michael Fechner and Ty Robinson
Your Life…Well Spent by Russ Crosson
Once we understand that God is more concerned about the eternal than the temporal, we face some unique challenges in the financial area. In the next few chapters we will look at the difference between PROSPERITY - the accumulation of goods on this earth - and POSTERITY - the heritage we leave in the generations that come after us.
In order for a builder to build a foundation, you have to be present - if you want to build a solid foundation for your family, as the husband and father, you have to be present at home. The most strategic time in the lives of our children is their first ten years…what are you doing during that important time in the life of your family?
Only change vocations to better fulfill your purpose and maximize your time flexibility, not to make more money.
Measure wealth not by the things you have, but by the things you have for which you would not take money.
As Albert Einstein once commented, “Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.” Money isn’t bad, but finding balance between time and money is crucial.
Greatest financial investment - your marriage!!! Most damaging financial decline for your net worth is generally divorce. Make sure you are working on your marriage.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Jordan Whicker, Ethan Severin, Cole Travis
The Ultimate Gift is a fictional story about the journey of a young man named Jason Stevens who is the spoiled, rotten grand-nephew of Red Stevens, who leaves a series of “gifts” for Jason to learn, under the guidance and tutelage of his attorney friend Theodore J. Hamilton. Each chapter is a new “gift” that Jason must learn - and, as a young man, you need to learn as well.
The Gift of Laughter
“It [the gift of laughter] is the ability to look at yourself, your problems, and life in general, and just laugh. Many people live unhappy lives because they take things too seriously.”
“Comparison is the thief of joy,” is attributed to President Theodore Roosevelt and several others - and it is a great warning that unhealthy comparison to others can rob you of joy with what you have!
Laughter can be infectious, but so can negativity!
God has an incredible sense of humor - where do you think your sense of humor came from??? Check out the sense of humor displayed by Jesus in the series The Chosen - and read the Bible for yourself to read about it from the original source!
Let’s not laugh at things that God is crying about…sin isn’t funny, it’s destructive.
The Gift of Dreams
“Dreams are the essence of life–not as it is, but as it can be.”
For a Christian, dreams are the essence of life with God at the center - ripe with the potential that with God all things are possible!
“Jason, this month, I want you to begin experiencing the gift of dreams. Assume everything is possible. Make a list of all the things you would like to do and be and have in your life. Then begin to prioritize that list as you discover the ones that generate the most passion in your soul.”
- I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength…Phil 4:13
- We should all practice this concept - God, what do YOU want me to do, how should I be spending the life that God has given me for HIS glory and purpose?
The Gift of Giving
“Conventional wisdom would say that the less you give, the more you have. The converse is true. The more you give, the more you have. Abundance creates the ability to give; giving creates more abundance.”
Giving can mean so much more than money - we all have time, talents, and treasure. The giving of money is only one aspect of what it means to give of yourself. Maybe God is asking you to give the one of these that is the most difficult for you!
The Bible says a lot about money, most of it is a warning not to let money become a god or idol in your life. Giving is a direct indication about our worship.
What are you NOT willing to give to the Lord?
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Chas Briscoe
Chas turned a football career-ending injury into a new path of bodybuilding, weight training, coaching, and teaching. His humility and positive energy are legendary among those who have been blessed to spend any time in his presence!
Wise Words from Chas:
- You can be a powerful presence and bring positive energy to every situation!
- You coach every day - you’re coaching a person in every interaction and you have the opportunity to make a great impact in the lives of others.
- Every person that has excelled has had challenging days.
- Life is full of baby steps, life is a process, the good things in life take time.
- Even though you’re young, carry yourself with maturity and integrity - consider Psalm 144:12.
- Respect is earned, not given. Earn it.
- Greatest success stories are of guys that started from nothing, had to overcome significant obstacles - those who have overcome are usually those who are willing to help others - PUSH should stand for Promptly Usher Someone Higher!
- Let young people learn from their mistakes.
- Check out some Zig Ziglar books and statements - most of what he taught is in the Book of Proverbs!
- I don’t compete against others….I complete others!
- I don’t want to enable you…I want to empower you!
- Men need to share their emotions - speak up when you’re hurting, get help!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Jordan Whicker, Ethan Severin, Cole Travis
The Ultimate Gift is a fictional story about the journey of a young man named Jason Stevens who is the spoiled, rotten grand-nephew of Red Stevens, who leaves a series of “gifts” for Jason to learn, under the guidance and tutelage of his attorney friend Theodore J. Hamilton. Each chapter is a new “gift” that Jason must learn - and, as a young man, you need to learn as well.
The Gift of Learning
Education is a lifelong journey whose destination expands as you travel.
“The only thing I can honestly say that I know now that I didn’t know when we left here four weeks ago is that the desire and hunger for education is the key to real learning.”
It takes a lot of humility to be a lifelong learner! Learning also takes hard work - learning doesn’t just happen, you have to make plans to learn!!!
The greatest insult is to tell someone that you have nothing to learn from them! Find people you want to learn something from, take them to coffee, and ask them good questions!
The Gift of Problems
“If we are not allowed to deal with small problems, we will be destroyed by slightly larger ones.”
The Coddling of the American Mind by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt - prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child…good reminder!
When we can learn from our own problems, we begin to deal with life. When we can learn from other people’s problems, we begin to master life. What life lessons have you learned from watching others?
The world needs more Jesus…YOU have an opportunity to bring the Light of the World to address the problems in the world!
The Gift of Family
Jason went to the Red Stevens Home for Boys to see the value of family from those who look like they don’t have family.
It’s Better to Build Boys Than to Mend Men by C. Truett Cathy…the founder of Chick-fil-A was incredibly involved in the lives of young men, especially those without a family.
Family is not as much about being related by blood as it is about relating through love. If you don’t have a biological “family,” you can develop and invest in a spiritual family!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Tricia Panetti and Anna May
As women, what were the things you looked for in a man? Where did your “list” come from - who were the men in your life that demonstrated manhood to you? As a man, do you display those characteristics and if not, how do you plan to develop them?
- A guy who is pursuing a strong and authentic relationship with Christ. Guys, if you’re not in the Word and around the family of God listening to the Word of God on a consistent basis, you’re not moving in the direction that godly women are looking for.
- Fortitude. Women are looking for men with strong convictions and the spine to stand boldly on those convictions regardless of the winds of cultural change. Guys, what decisions have you made that are truly your convictions and will stick with them even if those decisions cost you?
- Strong work ethic AND serving others. Guys, if you see yourself as a servant, you’re willing to put the needs of others ahead of your own. Do you find yourself always first in line for food or can you patiently wait until the end? Do you have to insert your opinion into the conversation or are you willing to listen and learn? Are you looking to do the dishes after dinner or taking out the garbage - not being asked to do these things, but serving others is second nature to you?
- Gentleman, manners, polite, treating others with respect, dignity, and kindness. Guys, do you see women as “more precious” and treat them with the respect and carefulness that they deserve - looking to protect and promote their interests - what’s best for them? Guys, remember, if a woman is physically attractive, but lacks character, she will “show” you what she has - and if all you see is her physical beauty, don’t assume that she has other important attributes like character and virtue!
- Boundaries produce freedom! Guys, you need to lead a relationship by establishing proper boundaries, especially for the physical relationship. Guys, remember that as soon as you bring sex into your relationship, you set the ceiling on the emotional depth of your relationship - wait as long as possible, which is why God’s Word tells you not to “arouse and awaken love until it’s time” (Song of Solomon 2:7) (which means don’t have sex before the commitment of marriage).
- Empathy. Women love a man who appreciates how others feel and takes into consideration the value that others bring to a relationship.
- Communication. Guys, do you engage in meaningful conversation with a woman, asking questions, seeking to engage, listening well?
- Humility. You’re never more like Christ than when you’re walking in humility. Guys, are you willing to grow and mature in your walk with the Lord and in your earthly relationships as well? If the seed of Christ isn’t in your life, the fruit of the Spirit won’t be evident in your attitude and actions.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Jordan Whicker, Ethan Severin, Cole Travis
The Ultimate Gift is a fictional story about the journey of a young man named Jason Stevens who is the spoiled, rotten grand-nephew of Red Stevens, who leaves a series of “gifts” for Jason to learn, under the guidance and tutelage of his attorney friend Theodore J. Hamilton. Each chapter is a new “gift” that Jason must learn - and, as a young man, you need to learn as well.
The Gift of Work
He who loves his work never labors.
The story sends Jason out to Alpine, TX to work on a ranch - in the middle of Big Bend country, down on the Texas border - part of Brewster County, largest county in Texas - nearly 4 million acres of land or over 6,000 square miles (little smaller than the country of Israel)
The work that Jason got to do was dig fence post holes to put up a new fence - for miles and miles and miles…
- Three of the four of us have used a fence post hole digger and agree - that’s REAL work!!!
- Colossians 3:23 - “do you work heartily as unto the Lord, and not for men”…who do you work for, whose approval do you seek for your work?
- Matthew 7 - the parable of building your house on the rock - may be harder and take more effort, but doing the job well means that the work will last through the storms of life!
The Gift of Money
Jason gets $1500 (the wages he “earned” by working on the ranch), and he’s supposed to go out and find 5 people who need the money and give it to them - to see the power of money. He ended up giving away $1800 - he put in $300 of his own money to help others in need.
- You can’t buy happiness with money. Money is a tool that can fix certain problems, pay specific bills, but it won’t solve the problems of the heart or bring meaning to life.
The Gift of Friends
It is a wealthy person, indeed, who calculates riches not in gold but in friends.
“Friend is a word that is thrown around far too easily by people who don’t know the meaning of it.”
"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence? true friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo & withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." George Washington
“Friendship involves loyalty, commitment, and a process that includes sharing another person’s life.”
- The necessity of friends - especially for guys - we’re not meant to live life in a silo. Sin grows in isolation - surround yourself with good community.
- If you don’t have a friend, start with being a friend.
- Friends are forged, not found.
- In addition to good friendships, a man needs the Word of God to complete them - 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent (complete), equipped for every good work.”
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Garrett Paulette
In an article by Daniel Fox for the Institute for Family Studies called The College Dating Divide, Fox writes this statement:
For single women, education appears to have a profound influence on dating expectations, according to a new report from the Survey Center on American Life. Close to half (45%) of college-educated single women say their relationship status is largely due to an inability to find someone who meets their expectations.
Guys, what do you need to do to meet and surpass the “expectations” of these women looking for a man worthy of a relationship?
- Develop good community that includes accountability centered on a solid relationship with Jesus Christ.
- Recognize the need for growth and maturity.
- Plug into a good church - and look for older mentors who can speak truth and encouragement into your life.
- Find friends who call you up to better, not settling for easy and comfortable!
- Be a “leader” in your church - find a place that expects you to commit, to serve, to not just show up and be seen, but a responsibility that actually costs you something! And don’t just “go” to church and listen to the pastor teach, you have to dig into the Word of God yourself!
- And then, start dating. Spend time with wonderful women, treat them well, enjoy the time, and learn from the time together. Ask your date if there is anything that you can do better - and listen to her response!
- What are you looking for in a relationship - Garrett looked for these things: are they plugged into a good church, are they in life-giving community, are they chasing after the Lord personally? Then he looked at how they treated other people. Physical attraction was important, but not more important than these other things.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Chas Taylor
If you want to reach out to Chas to ask him questions, you can email him at cdtaylor1230@gmail.com. If you want to connect with Dan, you can email me at info@training4manhood.com
Chas points to a time of significant spiritual growth to his time at Rice University as he was discipled by Josh Bell who was part of the campus ministry called Chi Alpha, whose mission is to disciple university students to fulfill their purpose in God’s global plan.
“FDR”
Fellowship
Devotional Life
Responsibility
College - can be a significant time of personal growth and maturity - intellectually, culturally, physically, and spiritually. How are you using the time you have to invest in that personal growth? Are you seeking community and fellowship - pray and ask God to bring people across your path!
Matthew 13:44 - “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”
Fellowship/Responsibility - find a younger guy to mentor, take him to lunch, meet, talk, share “bread” together - a meal and the Word of God! When you fill your “bucket” with the Word of God, you will have something to share with others.
Devotional Life - God is a person and wants to have an intimate, personal relationship with you. What you know about having, building, developing relationships with other people can help you know how to develop a meaningful relationship with God! Chas actually schedules his “Meeting with God” time everyday that he puts on his calendar and schedules around that time! If you don’t feel like you have time for God, maybe take inventory of your time and see where you might be “wasting” time that can be repurposed for something better!
Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth by Richard Foster. Great resource to help you understand and begin to implement some spiritual disciplines (practices) that draw you closer to God including things like worship, study, memorization, meditation, silence, solitude, prayer, fasting, etc…Fasting is denying yourself physical nourishment so that you can feast on spiritual nutrition!
M’Cheyne Reading Plan
The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer
Logos Bible Software
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Preston, Parker, and Campbell Panetti
What are the primary aspects of manhood that you’ve learned growing up in the Panetti household?
- You take the Panetti name wherever you go. People know you by your actions. Actions either validate what you say you believe, or undermine it.
- Be responsible in the little things. Responsibility is a learned behavior.
- Be available to do whatever needs to be done. Humility is essential to be a man who looks to serve others and not be served.
- If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all! Use your words to build others up, not tear them down. “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21
- If you are filled with the Word of God, you have the opportunity to share God’s Word with others. Your relationship with God is the most important relationship you have!
- Church is not optional. You WILL do the things you love and prioritize. Don’t be a fan of Jesus…if you’re a Christian, you’re on the team!
- Take responsibility for your actions, don’t be an excuse maker.
- Humility is an essential character quality to foster. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6
- Learn from others who are doing life well. Young guys should be looking for older mentors, older guys should be looking to mentor younger guys! “To whom much is given, much is required.” Luke 12:48
- Those who have been forgiven much can forgive others.
- The power of other men speaking into your life is crucial. Find men who are doing life well, who know God personally and intimately, and have them share wisdom for your journey!
Thank you for listening to Training4Manhood - thrilled that we’ve been able to share 100 episodes with you and we hope that you’ve found the journey helpful and interesting so far! On to the next 100!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Mike Thornberry
Categories for resources:
- Marriage and Family - resources to help you be a better husband and a better father
- Passion and Devotion - books that encourage, inspire, spur you on!
- Biblical Literacy/Discipleship - books that help you better understand God’s Word
- Spiritual Disciples and Maturity - the essence of the Christian walk
- Cultural Awareness - how do I understand the issues in the world around me?
- Good literature - what are some of the great classics that you need to read?
Mike’s recommended resources:
Crazy Love by Francis Chan - how does truly understanding the depth of God’s love affect the way that you see yourself and live your life?
The Prodigal God by Tim Keller - come face-to-face with God’s “prodigal” love for His children
Encounters with Jesus by Tim Keller - unexpected answers to life’s biggest questions
It’s Better to Build Boys Than Mend Men by S. Truett Cathy (founder of Chick-fil-A) - invest in young men and train them up right!
The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch - incredible life principles by which to live - read the book and watch his lecture!
Captains Courageous by Rudyard Kipling - great story about the maturity of a young man
Make Your Bed by Admiral William H. McRaven - the road to success begins by taking the first step - how to develop a pattern of success in life
The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom - how to be thankful for your suffering and the power of true forgiveness
The Bait of Satan by John Bevere - the power of forgiveness
When People are Big and God is Small by Edward Welch - don’t allow the actions of others to control your identity
Counted Worthy by Connor Bales - developing a proper perspective on suffering
Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand - you have to stand for truth regardless of the cost!
Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus by Nabeel Qureshi - understand the difference between Islam and Christianity and the cost that many face in following Christ
Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand - incredible story of God’s redemption and a life changed - made into an incredible movie
The Swans are not Silent series by John Piper - introduction to some of the great saints of our faith
Amazing Grace by Eric Metaxas - the story of William Wilberforce, one of the great men of God - also made into a great movie
Walking in the Dust of Rabbi Jesus by Lois Tverberg - learning more about the Jewish culture to understand more about the person and ministry of Jesus
Expository Apologetics by Voddie Baucham - reading Scripture through the lens of Scripture - the Bible is both a mirror and a window
The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee - if you’re not suffering in this world, you’re probably not walking with the Lord
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Mike Thornberry and Preston Panetti
Non-exhaustive list of great movies that men should watch…and why:
The Chosen - incredible visual display on the life of Jesus - you can watch this on their app, on other streaming services, or even in the theater (Season 3, episodes 1 and 2 were released in theaters).
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - Ben Stiller’s serious, powerful, movie that challenges you to get out of your mundane comfort zone and get out and live life! Great line in this movie is, “Beautiful things don’t ask for attention.”
The Last Samurai - Tom Cruise learns about something greater than himself, a life of service to a higher calling - great line from this movie, “There’s life in every breath.”
Top Gun: Maverick - Tom Cruise goes from being the young, arrogant pilot to the older, wiser instructor/teacher in the second movie - great movie for all teachers - a student won’t be greater than their teacher (Matt. 10:24 or Luke 6:40).
The Ultimate Gift - Jim Stovall’s incredible book put on the big screen - story of a young, prideful man who has to learn some valuable life lessons.
We Were Soldiers - adaptation from the book We Were Soldiers Once…and Young by Harold Moore. Mel Gibson stars in the movie, great lessons about leadership and sacrifice.
Here Comes the Boom - actor Kevin James is a high school science teacher who is willing to fight for something he believes in! Other movies that have a similar lesson are Gladiator and Braveheart!
The Rookie - Dennis Quaid gets a second chance to make the MLB, shows the power and influence of a father in the life and dreams of his children. Another baseball movie that has this same essence is Field of Dreams with Kevin Costner.
Remember the Titans - great movie about the influence of good leadership and how men are willing to follow a man willing to lead well.
Facing the Giants - great movie about the power of God to call men to a higher standard in life and about the significance of trusting God especially when it seems that all hope is lost! Other great Kendrick Brothers movies: Flywheel (their first one), Courageous, War Room, Fireproof, Show Me the Father…good movies!
The Lord of the Rings - epic movie series based on the books by J.R.R. Tolkien - excellent story of the battle between good and evil.
The Hobbit - another movie adaptation based on the book by J.R.R. Tolkien. Great message about the power of little things done in love for another.
The Princess Bride - this movie is apparently very different from the book (I’ve only seen the movie and heard the book was dark and not as good).
Les Mis - great story of redemption and the power of forgiveness.
The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse - some gold nuggets of wisdom in there! It takes true strength to ask for help.
The Incredibles - don’t hide your true identity as a child of God - the world needs men and women to fight against the darkness!
Aladdin - his third wish is selfless…and you reap what you sow - great lessons.
Saving Private Ryan - incredible movie about the sacrifice made for others - is your life worth the sacrifice that was made for you?!
The Pursuit of Happyness - great story of personal sacrifice and the influence of a father in the life of his children!
The Upside - Kevin Hart’s serious life movie - funny yet profound!
Last Train from Gun Hill - the importance of raising your boys well.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Dr. Josh Kirby, Sparrow House Counseling
Dr. Kirby graduated with a Master’s degree in Psychology from Pepperdine University and completed his PhD from the APA-Accredited Clinical Psychology program at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center. His dissertation research was conducted through Baylor University Medical Center Women’s Psychology Service. Dr. Kirby completed his APA-Accredited clinical internship at the University of Texas at Arlington and Moncrief Cancer Institute in Fort Worth. He also holds a Bachelor’s degree in Management from Harding University and a MBA from the University of Mississippi.
In addition to his clinical internship, Dr. Kirby has experience providing services to adolescents and adults at Dallas County Juvenile Department, Parkland Hospital, UT Southwestern Psychotherapy Clinic, UT Southwestern Department of Psychiatry, and Pepperdine University’s Student Counseling Center. He is available to help individuals address a broad range of concerns including anxiety, depression, academic and career stress, adjustment and grief, men’s issues, and spirituality. Additionally, Dr. Kirby has a special interest in helping couples connect, heal, and grow through premarital and marital therapy.
Has God ever “slowed you down” so that you can deal with some deeper issues of the heart?
To be “in relationship” with people means “attuning” to them - learning to adjust so that you can connect. Same principle applies to our relationship with God. How can we attune our hearts to the things of God? Just pay attention…and then lean in.
What to do with unmet expectations? There are “expectations” that we all have in life - some of these are rigid and are more observable, others are more flexible and latent in content. But we all struggle with unmet expectations - when life just doesn’t go the way we think or assume it should!
In dealing with super high achieving families that are dealing with unmet expectations, Dr. Kirby often has to say, “More is never the answer.” Think about that.
As you’re looking at these next stages in life, take a moment to “step back” and consider the decisions and their impact in your life.
There is a big difference between punishment and discipline. This is important to remember when parenting and when God wants to get your attention!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Nick Bellamy
Shout out to Dustin Donley at Legacy Clothiers for helping make Nick look good! If you’d like for Dustin to help you dress your best, reach out to him and set up an appointment at 214-729-0670 or via email at ddonley@legacyclothiers.com
Nick shares his incredible journey that includes ten plus years spent filling the void in his life with drugs and alcohol - using a substance to deal with the “black cloud of depression” because he had never been taught anything differently!
Nick says that our faith is a “two-sided coin” that includes serving and giving, not just receiving God’s grace and mercy. Great reminder that we are blessed to be a blessing!
If you’re looking to get help with an addiction or struggle, Nick would highly recommend checking out the Life Recovery program at Prestonwood Baptist Church - or a Celebrate Recovery or Re/Gen (regeneration) program at a Bible teaching church in your area.
When you confess your sins to God, you’re forgiven. When you confess your sins to a human, you get freedom.
Guys, you need to have a community of friends around you who will hold you accountable to make decisions that are in your best interests - a friend is the person who speaks the most truth into your life.
Men, the measure of success is the amount you’re investing in others! Invest yourself in the life of at least one other person this week.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Dr. Jason Snyder
Note: Just to clarify, I do not believe that aliens built the pyramids in Egypt. ;-)
Andrew Murray - Humility
And so pride, or the loss of humility, is the root of every sin and evil.
And so Jesus came to bring humility back to earth, to make us partakers of it, and by it to save us.
His humility is our salvation. His salvation is our humility.
No tree can grow except on the root from which it sprang.
If this [humility] be the root of the tree, its nature must be seen in every branch and leaf and fruit. If humility be the first, the all-including grace of the life of Jesus–if humility be the secret of his atonement–then the health and strength of our spiritual life will entirely depend upon our putting this grace first too, and making humility the chief thing we admire in him, the chief thing we ask of him, the one thing for which we sacrifice all else.
Brother, are you clothed in humility? Ask your daily life. Ask Jesus. Ask your friends. Ask the world.
Third, it is only by the indwelling of Christ in his divine humility that we become truly humble. We have our pride from another–from Adam; we must have our humility from Another too.
Gentle and Lowly - Dane Ortlund
Matthew 11:29 - Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart [humble]...
- Humility - being “God-reliant” and not “self-reliant”
1 Peter 5:5-6 - Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you…
The point in saying that Jesus is lowly is that he is ACCESSIBLE.
- Are you accessible to those you love?
- Are you accessible to those in need?
- Are there dates/times on your calendar that demonstrate your accessibility?
Orange County Rescue Mission - Jim Palmer, President
Mission Statement: Minister the love of of Jesus Christ to the LEAST, the LAST, and the LOST
Good to Great - Jim Collins
When Collins interviewed people who worked for these leaders, he says they “continually used words like quiet, humble, modest, reserved, shy, gracious, mild-mannered, self-effacing, understanding, did not believe his own clippings, and so forth” to describe them.
Soldier, Statesman, Peacemaker: Leadership Lessons from George C. Marshall by Jack Uldrich
Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t by Simon Sinek
The Law by Frederic Bastiat - socialism is terrible for both the giver and the recipient, the giver is not allowed to sacrifice for the betterment of his brothers, the recipient is not allowed to appreciate the gift from another.
Humility gets God’s attention
This is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word. Isaiah 66:2
Humility - not thinking less about yourself…but thinking about yourself less…
Humility - honestly assessing ourselves in light of God’s holiness and our sinfulness
Pride is the only poison that is good for us when swallowed.
Want your life to grow in humility:
- Study the life of Jesus
- Intentionally add service opportunities on your calendar
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Mike Thornberry and Gabe Boyd
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
Matthew 5:9
A peace-MAKER is different from a peace-keeper…you’re not just keeping a peace that already exists, you have to MAKE PEACE.
Mike - #1 Issue for divorce is “unresolved conflict” - irreconcilable differences. If you want to succeed in marriage, you have to learn to resolve conflict. We live in a fallen world, conflict will exist - what’s your role in resolving the conflict that exists?
Gabe - before you can make peace with others, you have to understand the peace that Christ resolved on your behalf with God!
1 Thess. 5:23 - Now may the God of peace himself…
1 Cor. 14:33 - For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.
The example of Jesus is that there are times that YOU must pay the price to resolve conflict even if you’ve been wronged! There are times that you must take the first step toward forgiveness even though you’ve been wronged. Can you imagine what this would look like if you do this in your family, in your workplace, in your community?
“PEACE, I leave with you; MY PEACE I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you.” John 14:27 The peace that God gives us is different from what the world has to offer - God’s peace comes with and through the power of the Holy Spirit in the life of the believer.
“...do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the PEACE of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that crushed it.” Samuel Clemens
Forgiveness is not natural - it is a supernatural concept that is made possible by the loving example of God’s forgiveness in our own lives!
“In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity.” An aphorism generally attributed to St. Augustine of Hippo (354-430 AD).
Accountability is part of the peacemaking process. Without accountability, there can’t be peace in the midst of conflict. Sweeping conflict under the rug does not resolve the situation! Jordan Peterson - your best friends are the ones who tell you the MOST truth!
The CHARGE - be the kind of man that invites people to hold them accountable, are you correctable, are you teachable? Who are the guys around you - are they holding you accountable to a higher standard? Start with a self-evaluation, then ask others how they see you - those who will be honest with you!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: J. Josh Smith
Senior Pastor, Prince Avenue Baptist Church
Josh began his ministry as senior pastor of Prince Avenue Baptist Church on January 14, 2018. Josh was the senior pastor of MacArthur Boulevard Baptist Church in Irving, Texas for 12 years before coming to Prince.
Pastor Josh has ministered in more than 30 countries, worked with international students at Duke University, and served as a missionary in central Europe. His greatest passion is the exaltation of Christ and the advancement of Christ’s kingdom to the ends of the earth through the ministry of the local church.
Josh received his Bachelors in Cross-Cultural Studies from Liberty University, a Masters of Divinity from Southeastern Seminary, and a Doctor of Ministry in Expository Preaching from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He and his wife Andrea, have four daughters and one son.
The Titus Ten: Foundations for Godly Manhood
Paul’s recommendation to Titus on how to fix the problems that he’s seeing in the culture - fix the men in the church.
What can you do to get men to serve? You’re asking the wrong question. What kind of men do you want in two years - start building those men, and the doing (service) will come out of the being (as a child of God who modeled leadership by serving).
Foundations for Godly Manhood (from The Titus Ten):
- Dominion
- Gospel
- Identity
- Assignments
- Authority
- Character
- Doctrine
- Mission
- Zeal
- Investments
Dominion - mankind was created to have a relationship with God, to live under God’s authority, and to have authority over everything God created (Psalm 8)
To take dominion meant to take responsibility, to care, to lead, to cultivate.
There are two words in Genesis 2 that give clarity on the meaning of dominion: work and keep (Gen. 2:15).
- When you think about work, think about a plow
- When you think about keeping, think about a sword.
The domains where a man is to have dominion can be divided into three areas of Christian living:
- The church
- The family
- The world
A man must first take dominion over his flesh.
God wants to begin to rebuild men through the Gospel.
Self-control - learning how to say “no” to the lesser things so you can say “yes” to the greater things that God has in store for you! Faith is believing that God’s plan is better than your own. Sin is self harm.
Go to work and work hard. Go home and work hard. Go to bed tired.
Guys, when you go home, it should be a better place when you’re there! When you put no effort at home, you’ll get no “fruit” for your labor! Walking in “dominion” means that you’re the chief worker!
Older men - younger guys are desperate for an older man to invest in them. Be open and prepared to share the wisdom from God’s Word with others around you.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Tim Matthews and Jonathan Teague
Strange New World: How Thinkers and Activists Redefined Identity and Sparked the Sexual Revolution
By Carl R. Trueman
Strange New World is an abbreviated edition of Dr. Trueman’s longer book titled The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution
In this book, Dr. Trueman is going to examine how a person became a self, the self became sexualized, and sex became politicized.
SUMMARY: how the feelings of an individual have triumphed over the societal institutions (law, church, family, community), how objective truth has been eliminated, and how have we disassociated gender from biology.
Chapter 7 The Sexual Revolution of the LGBTQ+
Of more immediate significance to our current situation, however, is the thought of Simone de Beauvoir, the French philosopher whose 1949 book, The Second Sex, is a foundational text for modern feminist theory. She opens the second part of that work with a dramatic and far-reaching statement:
One is not born, but rather becomes, woman. No biological, psychic, or economic destiny defines the figure that the human female takes on in society; it is civilization as a whole that elaborates this intermediary product between the male and the eunuch that is called feminine.
DeBeauvoir makes a distinction between biology and what we now call gender. The whole idea of what it is to be a woman is a social construct, something that is not intrinsic to the female body. To use the language of a later gender theorist, Judith Butler, gender is a performance, a set of behaviors that society has come to expect from those who possess a certain kind of body.
The preamble of The Yogyakara Principles:
Understanding “sexual orientation” to refer to each person’s capacity for profound emotional, affectional and sexual aggraction to, and intimate and sexual relations with, individuals of a different gender or the same gender or more than one gender;
Understanding “gender identity” to refer to each person’s deeply felt internal and individual experience of gender, which may or may not correspond with the sex assigned at birth, including the personal sense of the body (which may involved, if freely chosen, modification of bodily appearance or function by medical, surgical or other means) and other expressions of gender, including dress, speech and mannerisms.
Principle 3
Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law. Persons of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities shall enjoy legal capacity in all aspects of life. Each person’s self-defined sexual orientation and gender identity is integral ot their personality and is one of the most basic aspects of self-determination, dignity and freedom
In plain terms, this calls for societies to recognize–that is, affirm, support, and protect–whatever subjective sexual identity any individual cares to affirm for themselves.
Chapter 8 Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness
While the speed of the sexual revolution has been shocking to many, perhaps the strangest and most disturbing developments over recent years have been the ways in which freedoms once considered to be self-evident goods - of speech and of religion - are now under pressure in many Western democracies. This is something both unexpected and sinister.
United States v Windsor (2013) - challenge of DOMA - the court saw the objections to gay marriage as being grounded in what is technically termed constitutional animus or, to put the same idea in more colloquial terms, irrational bigotry.
Windsor provided the immediate legal background to Obergefell v Hodges (2015) - legalization of same-sex marriage…
Casey (1992) decision from Justice Kennedy: At the heart of liberty is the right to define one’s own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life. Beliefs about these matters could not define the attributes of personhood were they formed under compulsion of the State.
For example, when the Christian objects of homosexuality, he may well think he is objecting to a set of sexual desires or sexual practices. But the gay man sees those desires as part of who he is in his very essence.
What Marcuse is calling for here is the censoring of speech as a means of moving society toward a more just and equitable state.
Chapter 9 Strangers in This Strange New World
The era when Christians could disagree with the broader convictions of the secular world and yet still find themselves respected as decent members of society at large is coming to an end.
First, we need to examine ourselves, individually and corporately, to see in what ways we have compromised the gospel with the spirit of this age. Then, we need to repent, call out to the Lord for grace, and seek to reform our beliefs, attitudes, intuitions, and practices accordingly.
Second, an awareness of our complicity should cultivate a level of humility in how we engage with those with whom we disagree on these matters.
Third, to be aware of our complicity at least allows us to engage in the future in appropriate self-criticism and self-policing on such issues.
Justin Martyr - did not spend time denouncing the evils of the emperor - rather, they argued positively that Christians make the best citizens, the best parents, the best servants, the best neighbors, the best employees…
Augustine - The City of God - Christians could and should be good citizens to the extent that their higher commitment to God allowed them to do so.
In short, we can stand strong in this cultural moment and address the specific challenges we face only if our foundations in God’s truth are broad and deep.
This means that the chaotic nature of our times is no excuse for abandoning the church’s task of teaching her people the whole counsel of God.
The church also needs to recover natural law and a theology of the body.
Guest: Stephen Bryant
Coach Bryant played tight end for the TCU Horned Frogs.
No matter what stage of life you’re in, you need to have a good church home.
What’s your mission, who are you living for - yourself or for someone larger than you - for Jesus Christ?
Stephen’s advice to a young guy - you don’t have to do this alone! The Lord has a plan for you and He desires to be with you!
“But God” is a great thing to add at the end of things you don’t understand…helps you gain a different perspective on things that are difficult and hard, but God isn’t done yet, but God can use all things for His glory…
Remember, the grass isn’t greener on the other side - the grass is greener where you water it - put in the time and effort to do things/relationships well.
“But God” - He can take our message and turn it into His message of grace and redemption!
Our journey with God isn’t just a “straight street” - there are twists and turns, the fun in life is trusting God no matter where He takes you. When you walk in obedience, there are the blessings of God to enjoy. When we sin and fall outside of God’s path, we learn to repent and return to the goodness and provision of God.
If you’re going to train your body physically, Paul would encourage you to train yourself for godliness as well. “Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” 1 Timothy 4:8
Stephen - what are you seeking? What are your real priorities? If God isn’t first, He can’t bless those things that are above Him in your life!
Self-assessment is key to growth as a man of God. It’s also important to have good community around you to speak truth into your life as well.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Tim Matthews and Jonathan Teague
Strange New World: How Thinkers and Activists Redefined Identity and Sparked the Sexual Revolution
By Carl R. Trueman
Strange New World is an abbreviated edition of Dr. Trueman’s longer book titled The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution
In this book, Dr. Trueman is going to examine how a person became a self, the self became sexualized, and sex became politicized.
Chapter 5 The Revolt of the Masses
Technology also reinforces the focus on the individual, and upon individual satisfactions.
To this we might add the observation of Yuval Levin concerning the reversal in the understanding of the purpose of institutions that characterizes our present age:
We have moved, roughly speaking, from thinking of institutions as molds that shape people’s character and habits towards seeing them as platforms that allow people to be themselves and to display themselves before a wider world.
We can express this more bluntly: institutions are no longer authoritative places of formation but of performance.
Dan - some parents see their role not as an authority figure, but as a facilitator to allow your children be whatever they want to be. Many people don’t regard science/biology as being authoritative in terms of gender and sexuality, just because a “doctor” says you’re a boy, doesn’t make you a boy - that’s the mindset of a growing group today!
Dan - difference between reforming institutions and rejecting institutions. If you reject these institutions, what do you replace them with?
To use a distinction deployed by philosopher Roger Scruton, pornography is about bodies, not faces. If sex is just about my pleasure, any body will do as a partner. But in a marriage, the specific identity of the sexual partners is critical. The purpose of sex is not to have sex but to make love, to reinforce a relationship with a particular person–or, to use Scruton’s terminology, with a face, not just with a body.
Chapter 6 Plastic People, Liquid World
“Contours of the MODERN SELF” - the emphasis on the authority of our inner feelings; the centrality of sexual desire to this; the way in which this is now a political and not merely a personal matter; and the various cultural and technological factors that have also served to promote this way of understanding the self.
Plastic people - those who believe they can make and remake themselves at will
Liquid world - to borrow a phrase from Karl Marx, all that is solid seems continually to melt into air.
This highlights the fact that human beings do not simply wish to be free. We also wish to belong, to be part of a group where we are accepted and affirmed.
Now we are free to choose the narrative to which we wish to belong, the imagined community that will provide us with our identity and purpose. We can focus on those narratives that make us feel good and that confirm our chosen view of the world and ignore those that present challenges to this.
Jonathan - if self is god, then my experience becomes my gospel
Modern American society is fragmenting because the imagined communities to which people choose to belong lack any shared narrative. Therefore, the terms of recognition that one group wishes to see American society adopt are often antithetical to those of others.
Guest: Mike Thornberry and Gabe Boyd
What is a good working definition of “love”? Mike has taken the definition given by Dr. Tim Kimmel (Grace Filled Marriage) and taught this to his boys:
Love is the commitment of my will to the betterment of your needs regardless of the cost to me.
What are some “other” definitions of love?
- Olaf (little snowman from the movie Frozen) - love means putting the needs of others ahead of your own.
- Jerry Maguire - “you complete me”
- Princess Bride - true love…Wesley - “As you wish…”
- “Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.” ― C.S. Lewis.
Gabe - love by its very nature has to be free. As soon as love becomes conditional, it’s no longer love.
Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more…1 Thessalonians 4:9-10
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
The Fruitful Life by Jerry Bridges - great adaptation of 1 Corinthians 13
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Tim Matthews and Jonathan Teague
Strange New World: How Thinkers and Activists Redefined Identity and Sparked the Sexual Revolution
By Carl R. Trueman
Strange New World is an abbreviated edition of Dr. Trueman’s longer book titled The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution
In this book, Dr. Trueman is going to examine how a person became a self, the self became sexualized, and sex became politicized.
Chapter 3 Prometheus Unbound
Dan’s comment: where/how did we get rid of objective truth (God as the standard for truth)?
Jonathan’s comment: these ideas are not thousands of years in the past - many of the ideas still popular today are heavily influenced by Marx and Nietzsche
Tim’s comment: these ideologies are not helpful, they are harmful!
Karl Marx
The foundation of irreligious criticism is: Man makes religion, religion does not make man.
Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is the demand for their real happiness.
Religion is a sign of intellectual weakness in its adherents and a means of social oppression for its proponents. Further, freedom can be achieved only by the abolition of religion.
Friedrich Nietzsche
“Whither is God?” he cried: “I will tell you. We have killed him–you and I.”
God is dead.
Dan’s comment: If God is dead, then we are free from all moral constraints.
We might express Nietzsche’s thought this way: freed from the burden of being creatures of God, human beings must rise to the challenge of self-creation, of being whoever they choose to be. Put perhaps even more bluntly: be whoever or whatever works for you. You should feel no obligation to conform to the standards or criteria of anybody else.
Chapter 4 Sexualizing Psychology, Politicizing Sex
Tim’s comment: your sexuality, while important, is such a shallow measure of your total human existence and being.
…sexual desire has emerged in the last one hundred years as a primary category for understanding our identity. In biblical times or in ancient Greece, sex was regarded as something that human beings did; today it is considered to be something vital to who human beings are.
Sigmund Freud
First, the notion that sex is foundational to human happiness is central to Freud’s thinking.
So, seeking pleasure and avoiding pain are key to the definition of happiness. And where is the greatest pleasure to be found? Freud is in no doubt:
Man’s discovery that sexual (genital) love afforded him the strongest experiences of satisfaction and in fact provided him with the prototype of all happiness, must have suggested to him that he should continue to seek the satisfaction of happiness in his life along the path of sexual relations and that he should make genital erotism the central point of his life.
When we add to this that Freud also saw sexual desire as existing from infancy, the point is further reinforced: our identities as human beings are in a very important sense fundamentally defined by our sexual desires.
The fulfilled life is a sexually fulfilled life.
Wilhelm Reich
In plain English, the sexual morality of Reich’s day is designed to reinforce the structure and authority of the traditional family. The social function of the traditional family is to raise children who are instinctively obedient to a strong authoritarian (father) figure–in Reich’s eyes, a figure such as Hitler.
The point is clear: sexual codes must be shattered if human beings are to be truly free. Those things that inhibit the free sexual expression, even of young children, are oppressive and prevent individuals from truly being themselves.
Guest: Rob Wilton
Rob Wilton is a multi-city movement leader for Christ. He is the Founding Pastor of Vintage Church, Send City Missionary for the Send Network, and the Chaplain for the New Orleans Saints. Although his family is from South Africa, Rob was born and raised in New Orleans and this is where he met Jesus.
Guys, just thinking about some common “missteps” or mistakes that we can make along the journey of life…followed by common logic AND uncommon wisdom.
- Thinking you can travel the road alone
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- Common logic - surround yourself with good people 2. Uncommon wisdom - trust God with the direction of your life 1. Even Jesus had “his guys” - Christian community is tremendously important, but don’t think that others “complete” you! 2. The Bible is full of stories of really unimpressive men who followed a really impressive God. Guys, you don’t have to be everything or do everything, you need to humbly walk in obedience to God and follow His plan for your life!
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- Underestimating the influence that others have in your life
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- Common logic - you’re the average of your 5 closest friends 2. Uncommon wisdom - God outweighs all the influence and wisdom of those around you if you’ll trust Him!
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- Thinking less of yourself for your humble beginnings
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- Common logic - doesn’t matter where you begin, it matters where you end… 2. Uncommon wisdom - many times God uses where you began to give you insight into the journey where He’s taking you - don’t undervalue your start! 1. One common theme throughout Scripture - God doing for us what we could not do for ourselves! You can’t, but Jesus did. Because Jesus did, now you can! 2. God doesn’t need your ability, He wants your availability!
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- Thinking too highly of yourself for particular gifts and talents you’ve been given
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- Common logic - think less of yourself 2. Uncommon wisdom - to whom much is given, much is required and expected - Luke 12:48 1. Acts 9:31 - and walking in the fear of the Lord and comfort of the Holy Spirit, the church multiplied. Some may need to hear about the fear of the Lord and gain a little humility; others might need to hear how God is the lifter of our heads and walk in the comfort of the Holy Spirit - both are important!
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- Thinking you’ll address spiritual issues later in life
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- Common logic - take care of yourself first
- Uncommon wisdom - if it’s important, address it now…if it’s not important, don’t waste time with it!
- Every day is a gift, every opportunity has the potential to be something important for our growth and maturity…and God’s glory!
- Rob’s advice - “press in earlier” - don’t wait to develop your spiritual life, time is valuable, don’t waste it!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guests: Tim Matthews and Jonathan Teague
Strange New World: How Thinkers and Activists Redefined Identity and Sparked the Sexual Revolution
By Carl R. Trueman
Strange New World is an abbreviated edition of Dr. Trueman’s longer book titled The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution
In this book, Dr. Trueman is going to examine how a person became a self, the self became sexualized, and sex became politicized.
The radical change that Dr. Trueman observes is that rather than conform thoughts, feelings, and actions to objective reality, man’s inner life itself becomes the source of truth.
Chapter 1 Welcome to This Strange New World
“Expressive individualism” was coined by the American scholar Robert Bellah, who defines it as follows:
- Expressive individualism holds that each person has a unique core of feeling and intuition that should unfold or be expressed if individuality is to be realized.
In short, the modern self is one where authenticity is achieved by acting outwardly in accordance with one’s inward feelings.
Great article and explanation from John Stonestreet at The Colson Center about the Philadelphia Flyers hockey player Ivan Provorov who refused to wear a jersey for the NHL’s “Pride Night.”
- Jonathan - who is the arbiter of what is “ok” - can’t be culture…left up to the individual themselves, which presents a huge problem when someone else’s opinion conflicts with yours.
- Tim - why aren’t the opinion and feelings of Ivan Provorov taken into consideration and protected as well?
In this book, I do not wish to deny that expressive individualism has aspects that are good and commendable. I am concerned, however, with how its triumph as the normative self has led to some of the strangest and, to many, most disturbing aspects of our modern world.
If the individual’s inner identity is defined by sexual desire, then he or she must be allowed to act out on that desire in order to be an authentic person.
Obviously, Western society still has sexual codes and places limits on sexual behavior - pedophilia, for example, continues to be outlawed in the United States - but those limits are increasingly defined not so much by the sex acts themselves as by the issue of whether the parties involved have consented to those acts.
Again, notice what the sexual revolution has done: it has brought us to the point where sexual acts in themseles are seen as having no intrinsic moral significance; it is the consent (or not) of those engaging in them that provides the moral framework.
Chapter 2 Romantic Roots
Rene Descartes (1596-1650) - “I think; therefore I am.”
Thinking is the ground of certainty.
Dan’s comment: God is no longer the source of truth; each individual person is!
Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778) - First, he locates identity in the inner psychological life of the individual. Feelings for Rousseau are central to who we are. And second, he sees society (or perhaps better, culture) as exerting a corrupting influence on the self. In short, society makes us inauthentic.
Jonathan’s comment - while this might be profound, the problem is that it puts the brightest light on man, and makes man the center of existence…replacing God on the throne of life.
Rousseau rejects the Christian doctrine of original sin - it is society that corrupts the individual…
Dan’s question - if society corrupts the individual, what corrupted society? Isn’t society just the collected thoughts/wills of the various individuals - and if the individuals are good and pure, why wouldn’t the collective (society) be good and pure as well?
Everyone else is first and foremost a potential threat to my authenticity.
Rousseau - The Social Contract - Man is born free, yet everywhere he is in chains.
Rousseau’s “noble savage” - uncorrupted by the demands of civilized society with its hyprocrises and sharp antithesis between outward behavior and that inner voice of nature…
Tim’s comment - many of the restraints that society places on individuals is actually for our flourishing, for the benefit of all.
Guest: James Vilade
Founder, Keeper of The Game Foundation
Guys, just a quick reminder that our next book study begins this week; the first episode will be released on Friday, Feb. 3rd and then for the three remaining Fridays in February. The book we’ll be reading and discussing is Dr. Carl Trueman’s outstanding cultural examination titled Strange New World: How Thinkers and Activists Redefined Identity and Sparked the Sexual Revolution - get your copy today and read along with us!
Bio for Coach Vilade:
After finishing his successful college baseball career with Baylor University, James Vilade entered the world of coaching and has seen success at every level - from the pros to college and now even at the high school level. He understands that athletics is an avenue for success in life and takes his role and responsibility to mold boys into men very seriously, while having a ton of fun along the way! Coach V is not just a great baseball coach, he’s a great friend, and a great mentor for young men.
Coach V’s primary question for young guys - “What kind of person are you becoming along the way?” One of the main rules for life is how you treat those around you - learn to treat others well.
“Baseball is life” - would you buy that t-shirt?
Parenting fail - when the sport your child plays becomes more important than their character and the person they are becoming!
Common struggle for young men today - “handling the moment.” Don’t let the wins take you too high or the losses take you too low!
Men generally respond well to other guys calling them up to be better men - surround yourself with men who will do that for you…and you need to do that for others. “Show me your people and I’ll show you the man you’ll become.”
What’s the one thing you can tell a young man that will impact his life? “I love you.”
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Dr. Steven Lytle, PsyD, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Founding Partner of Sparrow House Counseling
Dr. Steven Lytle is a licensed psychologist with Sparrow House Counseling in Dallas, Texas. He attended the University of Oklahoma where he received a B.A. in Psychology. He later graduated with an M.A. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Central Oklahoma. Dr. Lytle acquired his Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Argosy University. Previously, Dr. Lytle worked as a therapist with Green Oaks Hospital in Dallas, Texas as well as counseling families through the juvenile probation department in Dallas County. Steven also served as clinical director of adolescent services at the Cedars Hospital in DeSoto, Texas. Additionally, Dr. Lytle was an adjunct professor of Psychology at Criswell College.
Therapy and counseling were for so long seen as a weakness, not a benefit, especially for men. Why is it so uncommon for men to seek help? Think about a guy in Home Depot - how often do men ask for assistance even with something simple like finding the right tool?
Men are more comfortable with the emotions of anger and stress. Stress is another way of saying “anxiety” but it is very different from anxiety. Stress is usually brought about by a “stressor” - a particular situation/event - and when that stressor is removed, then our stress level goes down. Anxiety can be brought about without an underlying situation. With anxiety, even when our situation is improved, we can feel anxious.
Guys - we need to consider how our “cup” is doing - are we filled too high and need to remove some things from our life - are there too many stressors or anxieties that are filling our cup?
Guys - important to consider how we train up guys to be the men that God has designed for them to be. Not to be carbon copies of their fathers, but to know and understand what God has designed for each individual.
Important to note that masculinity is a God-given concept, not limited to social constructs. Men can cook, sew, do laundry…and a host of things that many in our culture today do not view as things that “men do.”
Recent study had the astronomical number of men who live alone - isolated from community. Men in our culture value “independence,” but we are made for community and being alone and isolated is a difficult situation for an extended time period. Community - “your guys” - is not only valuable, it’s hard work to invest in relationships! Guys need “face-to-face” time, but it can be easier to start with “shoulder-to-shoulder” activities.
Train your boys how to have “face-to-face” conversations. It really is an important life skill - especially for building relationships. With the increasing use of mobile phones and technology, we all spend much less time with interpersonal communications.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: David Salas
To learn more about the importance and influence of Martin Luther King, Jr., check out this book: Kennedy and King: The President, the Pastor, and the Battle Over Civil Rights by Steven Levingston
Some quotes from Martin Luther King, Jr.:
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today."
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
“The time is always right to do what is right.”
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
"Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?' "
David’s first “great man” - G.K. Chesterton, author, social commentator
Chesterton Classics Collection: Orthodoxy, Heretics, What’s Wrong With The World, What I Saw In America
Dan’s first “great man: - Charles Haddon Spurgeon, pastor, “Prince of Preachers”
Morning and Evening: A New Edition of the Classic Devotional Based on The Holy Bible, English Standard Version by Charles H. Spurgeon and Alistair Begg
David’s second “great man” - CT Studd, cricket player, missionary
The Chocolate Soldier: Heroism: The Lost Chord of Christianity (A Deeper Christian Classic) by C.T. Studd
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Dan’s second “great man” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, German pastor, stood in opposition to Hitler, author
The Cost of Discipleship by Bonhoeffer
When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Blair Robinson
Note - I didn’t “know Blair in high school” - just to clarify, Blair was in high school, I was already married and working - he’s much younger than I am!
Blair Robinson is the Lead Pastor of First Baptist Church of Irving beginning in May of 2022. Raised in the Dallas area, Blair is a graduate of Dallas Baptist University (B.S. in 2004; and M.Ed. in 2008) and Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary (M.A. in 2012; and D. Min. in 2019). Blair has previously served as the Discipleship Pastor of First Irving, and most recently as the Associate Pastor of Christ Covenant Church in Raleigh, N.C. His passion in ministry is to see the church consistently grow in grace as they delight in God. Blair and his wife Lauren have three children (Abel, Titus, and Abi Ruth). Blair enjoys time with his family and the members of First Irving, camping, hiking trails, reading helpful books, discipleship, sharing the faith, and the pastoral ministry.
Blair - a man must start with knowing that he is not God, he is a broken and wounded being IN NEED of God
The Bruised Reed by Richard Sibbes - you deserve death, anything less than that is the grace of God…I can’t believe that I get Christ AND water! Do you have this perspective…or do you see yourself as “worthy”?
Where should you start to gain a proper “life perspective” - by reading the Word of God!
To the man who believes that he has “it all” - Ecclesiastes tells you a different story - there is nothing “new under the sun” - it’s not about you, it’s about something GREATER than you that puts all of life into perspective!
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
“When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
Best advice for 2023 - sit and soak in the Word of God this year.
Blair - you have to start with the flaw of the “first” Adam, our physical father, before you can understand the importance of the “second” Adam, Jesus Christ, our Redeemer who connects us by his sacrifice to our Heavenly Father!
Blair’s book recommendation: The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Kelly Cassels
When Kelly’s parents’ marriage imploded, he harbored bitterness against his father and fed that hatred for 15 years! Kelly finally confronted the truth and reality of his unwillingness to forgive that resulted in this deep-seated bitterness on his Walk to Emmaus. The spiritual disciplines of silence and solitude are tremendously important for a person to “be still” and listen to the still small voice of the Lord! When will you schedule QUIET TIME with the Lord so that He can speak to you - today, this week, this year?
Kelly - part of the American psyche was that men couldn’t show weakness, he had to do things by himself - which isolates and insulates men from really dealing with deep and painful issues of the heart.
The Lord’s Prayer (Contemporary)
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours now and forever. Amen.
Matthew 18 - the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
Great Resource on the importance and power of forgiveness: The Bait of Satan: Living Free from the Deadly Trap of Offense by John Bevere
Kelly - thankful for a solid community of godly men who refused to let him live a life “mortgaged to the enemy” - we all need men who will speak truth into our lives regardless of the situation. This year, first seek to be that man in the life of those around you - then look to build a strong community of godly men to speak truth into your life as well.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro.
Guest: Robert Christian
CW5 Robert Christian was raised in McAllen, Texas. He reported to Basic Training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina in 1996. Attending Advanced Individual Training (AIT) at Fort Gordon, Georgia, he was assigned the MOS of 25U, Signal Support Systems Specialist. During his 10 years enlisted time, Rob served in the ranks of Private thru Sergeant First Class.
Rob holds a Bachelor of Science in Information Technology Management and is a graduate of the Army Warrant Officer Senior Service Education (WOSSE) course. His combat deployments include Afghanistan, Iraq, and East Africa. His awards and decorations include the Bronze Star Medal, the Defense Meritorious Service Medal (1BOLC), the Meritorious Service Medal (2BOLC), the Joint Service Commendation Medal, the Army Commendation Medal (1BOLC), the Army Achievement Medal (3BOLC), the Combat Action Badge, the Parachute Badge, and the Air Assault Badge. Rob has been married to his wife Leilani for 22 years. They have 5 children ages 17-2.
If Robert could go back, what advice would he give himself to avoid some of life’s pitfalls? Robert’s words - “It ain’t worth it.”
Excellent resource - Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices by Thomas Brooks
Have you seen another man who really lived out his faith in Christ - spent time in the Word, in prayer, speaking truth and fighting against sin in their own life?
You must understand this truth: you will reap what you sow. If you plant apple seeds, don’t expect to eat oranges later in life. God’s Word says this in Galatians 6:7-9:
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
What is it about those “middle-ages” from 40-50 years old - you are either going to make it or break it - what will be the difference in your journey? Consider the small “crack” in your windshield of life - if you don’t address it early, if you leave it alone and just wish it away, that small crack will most likely spread across your life and cost you the integrity of your windshield, which is a metaphor for your life!
1 Peter 5:8-9 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
Man Alive: Transforming Your Seven Primal Needs into a Powerful Spiritual Life by Patrick Morley
Robert - two things to address everyday - obedience and sacrifice.
Robert - finish well. There are too many examples of guys who are taken out of the race of life and don’t finish well - and how do you finish well…cling to Christ.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Gabe Boyd
Resolutions and Advice to Young Converts by Jonathan Edwards
Luke 2:52 - Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and with man.
How do we set goals that challenge us, but are also something that we can accomplish in the upcoming year?! As you evaluate life and areas for growth, ask some friends and family for recommendations on areas where you can improve - trust me, they’ll have a few suggestions for you!
Gabe - it’s about progress, not perfection!
Building a better life includes building a strong community, surrounding yourself with godly men who can model the way for you, older guys to mentor you and younger guys you can pour life into - building that strong community is vital.
Goals aren’t just about you getting better, but getting better for the purpose of doing all that God has called for you to do - it’s not about you, but about you actively being engaged to make the world a better place!
Areas for growth:
- Wisdom
- Reading - this year, set a goal to read at least one book a month! Start somewhere!
- Various categories to consider:
- Spiritual Disciplines - Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline
- Passion & Devotion
- Cultural Apologetics
- Biblical Literacy - Watchman Nee, How to Study the Bible
- Marriage & Family - Paul David Tripp, Parenting
- Various categories to consider:
- Reading - this year, set a goal to read at least one book a month! Start somewhere!
- Stature
- What are your goals to be the best version of yourself in terms of your physical stature - but also in terms of your mind, emotions, how you carry yourself, your attitude…
- Difference between your job - vocation and calling - check out The Call by Os Guinness
- Favor with God
- Learning how to rest in His grace and love - battling against the “performance culture” that tries to mold believers into the world’s idea of “success” - Scripture tells us that we’re working from victory (in Christ) and not to victory
- We learn to live in obedience not for our own glory, but to bring the proper attention and give the proper weight to who God is - He is worthy of our lives - our “worth-ship”
- Favor with man
- Colossians 3:12-14 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
- The Bait of Satan by John Bevere and When People are Big and God is Small by Ed Welch deal with the power and importance of forgiveness
- Galatians 5:16-23 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Clayton Kendall
Clayton and Ashley lost their third son Myers Crawford Kendall unexpectedly on April 12, 2018. Here is Myers’ obituary. I am very thankful to Clayton for taking the time to share his experience and the life lessons he learned walking through the grief process in hopes of helping others who are grieving.
Do men handle grief well - or do men generally stuff their emotions, hide their true feelings, and not proceed through the grief process well?
The grief process will look differently as you walk through it - and how you grieve will be different than how others grieve. Learn to give space and grace to others.
You need a good community and good relationships to help you walk through difficult times. There are times you need space…but you also need guys around you to encourage and challenge you when needed.
Clayton’s suggestions for walking well through grief:
- Grief is designed by God and when you respond well you will find that the Lord will draw near to the broken-hearted.
- Don’t retreat, don’t isolate.
- Talk with others, be open.
- Surround yourself with those you know, trust, and love.
Recommended Resources:
A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
Through the Eyes of a Lion: Facing Impossible Pain, Finding Incredible Power by Levi Lusko
Where is God in Our Grief: Lessons from CS Lewis - material from Hope for the Heart
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501()(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Guest: Dr. Steven Smith
Dr. Steven Smith is the senior pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church in Little Rock, AR. Here is his bio from their website:
- Steven W. Smith is a fourth-generation pastor and has served at Immanuel since 2017. After being a pastor for many years, Dr. Smith most recently served as Vice President for Student Services and Professor of Preaching at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Dr. Smith enjoys writing and is the author of several books on preaching. He is honored to be a Senior Fellow for the Spurgeon Library of Midwestern Seminary.
For his advice to our T4M audience, Steven turned to the Book of Titus - the Apostle Paul’s letter about leadership with some sage wisdom for young and older men. Here’s what Paul wrote in Titus chapter 2:
But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self–controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.
Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.
Interesting note - for Paul’s wisdom to the young men, he gives only one thing - to be “self-controlled” or “self-disciplined.”
Discipline levels the playing field in life - get discipline and you’ll be successful regardless of what gifts and abilities you have or where you started!
“The resentment of discipline of any kind will warp the whole life away from God's purpose. We can all see God in exceptional things, but it requires the culture of spiritual discipline to see God in every detail.” Oswald Chambers
How can you learn the character quality of self-discipline? There are many ways to develop this characteristic in life - take up a musical instrument, play a sport, start a hobby and stick with it…learn to do hard things and develop this important attribute for success in life.
Other things that are helpful in developing self-control:
- Community - get some other guys on board with you to help encourage and challenge you toward your goals
- Accountability - set goals, communicate those with others who can hold you accountable
Proverbs 1:23 “If you turn at my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit to you; I will make my words known to you.”
- A great life lesson is learning to TURN INTO the discipline, the hard things - don’t turn away, lean in and trust the process of growth and maturity, true growth takes effort and work - the only thing that grows without work is weeds!
Hebrews 12:9-11 “Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.”
- Learning these life disciplines are for a “short” time - then they can become habits and patterns for life!
Two types of discipline:
- Corrective - you’ve done something wrong, this discipline moves you away from what is harmful toward what is helpful
- Instructive - even if you haven’t done anything wrong, you can listen and learn and move toward things that are helpful in life
Steven Smith’s recommendation:
- Spurgeon by Arnold A. Dallimore
- The Titus Ten: Foundations for Godly Manhood by J. Josh Smith
Goal Setting - consider using Luke 2:52 as a framework - Jesus grew in wisdom, statute, and in favor with God and with man - how can you grow and mature in those four characteristics?
Final Thought - so much of the Bible IS WRITTEN TO YOUNG MEN!
- How awesome is that reality - God’s Word is intended to be a helpful tool and resource for young men who want to develop self-discipline in life so that they can be successful and lead their families, businesses, and communities!
Guest: LTC Allen West
Listen to LTC Allen West on his podcast Steadfast & Loyal on all the podcast platforms.
Bio from the Young America’s Foundation (YAF) website:
Lieutenant Colonel (Ret) Allen B. West is a Christian constitutional conservative, combat veteran, and former Member of the US Congress.
Allen West was born and raised in Atlanta, Georgia in the same neighborhood where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once preached. He is the third of four generations of military servicemen, all combat veterans, in his family.
West was commissioned through ROTC at the University of Tennessee as a Second Lieutenant (2LT) on July 31, 1982. He entered active duty service in the U.S. Army on November 1, 1983 at Fort Sill to attend the Field Artillery Officer Basic Course. He later attended airborne and jumpmaster training at Fort Benning. West’s first assignment was as an airborne infantry company fire support team leader and battalion training officer in the 325th Airborne Battalion Combat Team. In 1987, he was promoted to Captain and attended the Field Artillery Officer Advanced Course.
He was then assigned to the 1st Infantry Division, where he commanded Bravo Battery, 6th Field Artillery Regiment and was a Battalion Task Force fire support officer for 2d Battalion, 16th Infantry Regiment. While with the 1st Infantry Division, he participated in Operations Desert Shield and Operation Desert Storm.
West’s culminating assignment to his career was as Battalion Commander of the 2d Battalion 20th Field Artillery, 4th Infantry Division. He assumed command of this unit on June 6, 2002. He deployed with his unit during the Iraq War in 2003 and continued to command his battalion until his retirement from the Army in 2004 after 22 years of honorable service in defense of the Republic.
In November of 2010, Allen was honored to continue his oath of service to his country when he was elected to the United States Congress, representing Florida’s 22nd District. As a member of the 112th Congress, West introduced seven major pieces of legislation, and was the original sponsor of H. R. 1246 which reduces costs at the Department of Defense, was passed unanimously (393-0), and signed into law by President Obama as part of the National Defense Authorization Act. Congressman West voted for the Balanced Budget Amendment, and voted for over 30 different bills designed to empower small businesses, reduce government barriers to job creation, boost American competitiveness, encourage entrepreneurship and growth, and maximize American energy production.
West holds a bachelor’s degree from the University of Tennessee, Knoxville and two Masters, one from Kansas State University and another from the US Army Command and General Staff Officers College.
He is the former Executive Director of the National Center for Policy Analysis in Dallas Texas. West is an avid distance runner, a Master SCUBA diver, a motorcyclist, and in his spare time he enjoys cheering his beloved Tennessee Volunteers.
LTC West tells the story of a young soldier Audie Murphy, a boy from Texas who joined the military and became the most decorated soldier during WWII.
What is it about the military that it was able to take a young boy and turn him into a man? West talks about the “crucible of combat” and the challenges that boys are looking for to help mold them into men - to be “All that they can be”!
Today’s culture is pushing back and “canceling” anything that makes anyone uncomfortable or allowing one person to stand out above another - the military of tomorrow will face greater challenges in molding and shaping the men of tomorrow!
Can a young man find this “formula” of “do hard things” outside the military?
- West suggests that a young man start with reading the Bible and specifically recommends the life lessons found in Romans 5 that talks about “rejoicing in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope…”
- West also recommends that young people don’t quit when they run into adversity - learn to push through tough times
- West suggests that a young man START with solidifying their spiritual foundation - before they build their lives and careers, having a solid foundation is the key to a successful life!
- West warns against the current culture that celebrates “immediate gratification” - good things are worth the wait. Learn to have that “stick-to-itivness”
- West warns about the culture of the “participation trophy” - giving a reward for doing “nothing” - as LTC West says you have to “learn to pay the extra nickel if you want to go first class”
Guest: Von Minor
What are your strategies for battling against the distractions and discouragement of the world so that you can prosper and be successful?
Step 1 - Getting into the Word of God.
- Young guys - what ARE you reading?
- If you’re not reading anything, that means that you’re not reading God’s Word.
- Reading trains your mind to be able to digest significant and meaningful truths, to chew on and wrestle with difficult things.
Step 2 - You need to have an older man in your life as an example, model for life.
Step 3 - Before you get into a dating relationship, you need to be in a significant and meaningful relationship with God.
- Before God introduces Eve into creation, he establishes a relationship with Adam and gives Adam a mission and purpose - work to do.
- Learn how to grow your relationship with God and how to work hard as a man before you attempt to enter into a relationship with a young woman!
Step 4 - What kind of men are you looking to emulate - guys who are successful in a particular skill or in life?
- Will you spend time with a coach/trainer to get better at a particular sport but not spend time with a godly man to get better at life?
Older guys - do you have young men that you’re investing in?
- Von - older guys might feel like they’re disqualified because of hidden or unrepentant sin in their lives - get right with God so that you can be used by Him to influence the lives of others who need you!
- Dan - plenty of guys pretending to be men, we need more men who are real, authentic, broken by sin and redeemed and restored by Christ
- Guys - are you in the place where young men can see you living out your faith? Is there time on your calendar to invest in the lives of young men?
Young guys - have discernment with the men that you allow to speak into your life.
- Be careful of men who are “successful” at work but not at home
- Be careful of men who are not grounded in the Word of God and can only share from their personal experience and opinions
- Be careful of men who are not still growing in their relationship with God (you can tell that they feel like they’ve “arrived” - God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble)
- Be careful of guys who can only talk about spiritual things from a distance - their “testimony” is limited to a conversation experience when they were 7
Guest: Von Minor
Von Minor went from a corporate career as a television ad exec to being a youth pastor and a church planter in Dallas.
Von Minor was dramatically impacted by the spiritual walk of a guy named Jodey Arrington, who now serves as the US Representative for Texas’ 19th congressional district.
- What other men are impacting your life, your path, your choices?
- What men are you influencing who look to you as their example, their standard?
- Great men are the mirrors by which ordinary men dress themselves - Thomas Watson.
- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another - Proverbs 27:17
What stereotypes about men need to be challenged in your life?
- “Men” don’t like the symphony
- “Men” don’t cry
- “Men” don’t study the Word of God
Von’s three things that he knew he needed as a young man:
- Job
- Gym
- Church (that teaches the Word of God)
Von realized the critical nature of having a godly mentor to share the journey with - an older man to lead by example and a younger man to pour wisdom into.
- Who is your “mentor” - that godly older man who speaks truth into your life?
- Who are you mentoring - that younger guy that you’re speaking life into?
What things are negatively affecting the maturation process on your spiritual journey?
- Social media (shortening your attention span, making it impossible to read and digest God’s Word)
- Your phone (constantly distracting you from the moment you’re in)
- Your “friends” (people around you who don’t have your best interest at heart)
Guest: Grayson Frank
Remember, if you “outkick your coverage” in finding a spouse, it means that she settled for someone “below” her - and that’s not a compliment to her!
Grayson - how, practically speaking, do I “find the girl”? Grayson’s recommendation - let your family and friends “set you up” with someone they believe will be a good fit for your life!
Is it possible (or even desirable) to remain a virgin before you get married? How important is “purity” before and during marriage?
Dallas is the #1 city in America for marital infidelity - how sad is that?!
How does a young man keep his way pure (Psalms 119:9)?
What would you say to a young man who is sexually active before marriage, but wants to find the “right one” and then thinks he’ll be monogamous in marriage? Grayson says that what you’ve started before marriage isn’t going to change once you get married…so be careful!
Dan - whenever you introduce sexual intimacy into a relationship, it acts as a “ceiling” for the emotional intimacy in that relationship. In other words, if you have sex on the first (second, third…) date, that’s the emotional depth of that relationship.
Grayson’s recommendations:
- Sin festers in isolation - so build community and accountability!
- Communicate your expectations clearly - set your boundaries at the beginning, before you involve the emotions!
- Don’t be “horizontal” - be aware of how your bodies are positioned!
- Don’t be alone past a certain time - walls come down when you’re tired.
- “Tuck your phone in bed” - be careful, porn is looking for you and it will cost you more than you're willing to pay in terms of purity and relational security.
- Physical intimacy in private can easily go too far - Grayson had a “don’t kiss” unless you’re in public to help guard their relationship!
- Understand that physical intimacy escalates as a relationship continues or you move from one relationship to another - evaluate what level of physical intimacy you’re at and compare that with where you ought to be.
- From a biblical perspective (as designed by God), sex is the defining connection for a marriage relationship - what God has joined together, it’s very difficult and damaging to separate!
When some say that you need to have sex before marriage to make sure the relationship works out, that doesn’t make sense if the quality of the person you’re wanting to be in a relationship with is a “Rolls Royce”!
Guys who don’t communicate well with a girl will use physical touch to make a connection - and don’t underestimate the power and connection of physical touch - check out Dr. Joe McIlhaney’s powerful and important book Hooked.
Guys, develop your communication skills so that you can engage in meaningful conversations with others, especially those of the opposite sex - this will help you navigate relationships where you desire to maintain a proper level of purity.
One more thing can lower your inhibitions and put you in a situation to compromise your purity in a relationship - alcohol. Alcohol doesn’t help you make good decisions - so be careful.
It’s better to be single wanting to be married…than married and wanting to be single.
Finally, Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to info@training4manhood.com
Guest: Grayson Frank
8 of out 10 teens believe they will cohabitate later in life - living together before you get married is a terrible idea and ends up compromising the health and well-being of the marriage relationship!
What things were you looking for in a spouse?
- She had her mind made up, she was confident in who she was regardless of who else would be in the picture.
- The way she uses her words - to build up or tear down, do her words carry weight and are meaningful and significant?
- Someone you enjoy being with! The essence of marriage is a good friendship.
1 Samuel 16:18 - I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him.
How important is it to be physically attracted to the other person? Take into consideration the wisdom of Proverbs 31:30 - Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
How do you prepare yourself for marriage?
- Take on the mindset that you are getting ready to be in a serious, other-centered relationship.
- What are you doing to make yourself “better” and “attractive” to a person who is looking for a husband, a man to lead her and her family in a meaningful way?
- Consider looking for someone who has strengths where you’re weak and whose weaknesses are your strengths - makes for an awesome partnership!
What are you doing during your season of singleness to prepare yourself for marriage - are you serving others, sacrificing for the betterment of someone or something other than yourself?
Grayson - what would Christ be doing in your current situation - in your job, with your resources, etc…WWJD, what would Jesus do?!
Singleness doesn’t have to be a lack of enjoyment in life, but you have to begin to develop an “other-centered” mindset!
Finally, Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to info@training4manhood.com
Guests: Mike Thornberry and Gabe Boyd
Chapter 7 Singleness and Marriage
Paul was probably single, Jesus was a single man - singleness is not a curse or a weakness - it can truly be a gift in terms of time and single-minded attention and devotion to service to the Lord.
Singleness and marriage are both good and valuable and both should be dedicated to serving the Lord.
Gabe - your identity is not in being single. Your identity is that you’re a follower of Jesus. Put your identity in the things that won’t/can’t change.
Keller gives some excellent wisdom for a person who is single. If you understand the value and role of marriage, it will help you understand how you should navigate being single.
Chapter 8 Sex and Marriage
Keller - why does God confine sexual activity exclusively to marriage?
Mike - sex in marriage is a way to actually know God.
Dan - Christianity is not anti-sex or teaching a principle that sex is repressive - Christianity presents the most freeing and fulfilling concept of human sexuality possible - the way God designed it to be!
Sex without marriage is like eating food without tasting or swallowing it.
Mike - his Pope John Paul statement that porn doesn’t show too much, but too little. Think about that!
Gabe - quoting Martin Luther - you can’t stop birds from flying over your head, but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair. The idea is that you can’t avoid temptation, but you still have a choice as to whether you’ll pursue that temptation and act on it or if you’ll fight against it.
Dan - sex is akin to super glue - be careful what you stick to - because when you rip two things apart that have become one, it’s very, very harmful and damaging!
Mike - encouragement to surround yourself with true friends who will speak truth to you!
Mike - if you’re struggling, ASK for help.
Finally, Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to info@training4manhood.com
Guest: David Salas
Thomas Watson - “Great men are the mirror by which ordinary men dress themselves.”
Who are the “great men” that you would want to emulate their lives?
“Older men” includes more than just guys who are older in age than you - some guys might be “younger” than you, but they still are doing things that you can learn from!
Theodore Roosevelt - “Comparison is the thief of joy.” But healthy comparison can be an important measuring rod against which you compare your life and progress in specific areas.
In our current culture, boys are encouraged (manipulated) to stay stuck in “adolescence” - not mature, not grow up, not become the MEN that God has designed!
Psalm 144:12 - May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown, our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace
David’s #1 - CS Lewis, author, cultural commentator - check out the wide variety of his writings - from kids books like The Chronicles of Narnia, to apologetics like Mere Christianity, to sci fi like his Space Trilogy.
J. Budziszewski - The Revenge of Conscience, What We Can’t Not Know
Dan’s #1 - William Wilberforce, Member of Parliament, almost single-handedly abolished slavery in England - check out Eric Metaxas’ book Amazing Grace about Wilberforce (and see the movie with the same title) or read Wilberforce’s own words in A Practical View of Christianity.
David’s #2 - Adoniram Judson, Jr., American missionary to India and several other countries. Learn more about Judson by reading To the Golden Shore or find him in the series of Christian Heroes.
Dan’s #2 - Frederick Douglass, former enslaved person, social reformer, author, friend of President Lincoln - read more about Douglass in The Life and Times of Frederick Douglass or read his own words in The Collected Works of Frederick Douglass.
David’s #3 - Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister, orator, writer, artist. To learn more about Churchill, check out Stephen Mansfield’s book Never Give In or watch Gary Oldman win Best Actor Oscar for his portrayal of Churchill in Darkest Hour. David’s recommendation for reading is The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson.
Dan’s #3 - John Quincy Adams, sixth President of the United States AND Congressman! The book that I loved about his battle against slavery was Arguing about Slavery by William Lee Miller. Another excellent book is The Remarkable Education of John Quincy Adams by Phyllis Lee Levin. The movie I couldn’t think of during the podcast is Amistad.
Who are your “cloud of witnesses” - the men (and women) who have gone before you and passed the baton along to you - that you seek to emulate? Think about what it means to be a man, look for men who have or are living a life worth emulating, and learn more about them.
Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to info@training4manhood.com
Guests: Mike Thornberry and Gabe Boyd
Chapter 5 Loving the Stranger
Love CHANGES us - and the commitment (covenant) will carry us through the changes!
Keller - to be fully known and fully loved is our greatest desire.
Keller - …while your character flaws may have created mild problems for other people, they will create major problems for your spouse and your marriage.
Keller - …you must realize that it isn’t ultimately your spouse who is exposing the sinfulness of your heart – it’s marriage itself.
Keller - Don’t resist this power that marriage has. Give your spouse the right to talk to you about what is wrong with you.
Mike - my spouse is there to help me be a better version of myself - weaknesses are opportunities for growth!
Gabe - the opportunity for growth and development in marriage should excite you!
Gabe - serving others is the easiest way to kill pride.
Chapter 6 Embracing the Other
Mike - we’re talking about the “s” word, and that’s not sex, it’s submission.
Both Tim and Kathy Keller share in the book how they came into their marriage with very different views of submission and authority. Communication and commitment (covenant) are the keys to working through those differences.
Kathy Keller - submission in marriage was a gift I offered, not a duty coerced of me.
Gabe - as the husband, my gift back is to lead well.
Dan - Christianity elevated women - now they have the choice to submit, from the position of equality - much different than the cultural concept where women were subservient because they were less than men
Finally, Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to info@training4manhood.com
Guest: Dave Moore
Qualifications for Overseers from 1 Timothy 3:2-7
Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.
Dave - how do we really measure if a man is “hospitable”?
Moore Engaging - Dave’s website for his Two Cities Ministry along with his wife Doreen.
Functions of an Elder:
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Acts 6 - an elder should give himself to prayer and the word of God
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1 Peter 5 - and people who prove themselves to be an example (people want to emulate them)
How do you develop (and deepen) your prayer life? “Palpable desperation.” Do you need God to do something or can you manage life on your own? Are you putting yourself in a ministry position where you need God to help you? Dave’s “magic wand” - everyone has to either teach the Word of God or share their faith - then watch their prayer life increase!
Check out this video of Dave Moore: https://vimeo.com/754521773
Dave - a good diagnostic (test, evaluation) is actually learning to answer questions that other people have - are you equipped, are you doing the work necessary to be able to engage others in a meaningful discussion about the faith?
Dave - all good discipleship is usually undoing some bad discipleship.
Aspiring to the office of an elder is a noble thing! If you’re not looking to mature in your walk, grow in the grace and mercy of God, then what are you doing?!
Finally, Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to info@training4manhood.com
Guests: Mike Thornberry and Gabe Boyd
Chapter 3 The Essence of Marriage is grounded in Ephesians 5:31 (and Genesis 2:24)
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.
Chapter 4 The Mission of Marriage is grounded in Ephesians 5:25-27
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
Gabe - the Word of God helps us understand what marriage is as God has designed as opposed to what the world thinks marriage should be.
Dan - marriage, from a Biblical standpoint, is the idea that anyone you’re having sex with is a person you are “uniting” and becoming one flesh - God has provided a place for that physical and sexual connection - within the bounds of marriage.
Mike - “covenant” is the promise of future love - this means that covenant love lasts regardless of emotion - it rides on intention, it is an act of the will. A “covenant” marriage is not about my happiness and it doesn’t survive (or thrive) because of how the other person acts, but how you choose to serve them!
Mike - the anchor of our marriage should be our identity in Christ - everything else rocks with the waves!
Gabe - when you’re a “consumer” of something, it’s difficult (impossible) to actually figure out how to “satisfy” or “please” another person - or even be satisfied or happy yourself.
Mike - everything is marketed to your individual benefit as a consumer, even marriage.
Gabe - within the idea of “covenant” there is a protection so that you can truly be vulnerable and fully “known.”
Dan - if you have a problem in your marriage, start praying for your spouse.
Mike - show me a husband and a wife who are praying together, they aren’t getting a divorce.
Dan - the essence of marriage is a profound and significant friendship!
Dan - can you be “unequally yoked” - meaning, can you connect your life with another person who does not have Christ at the center of their life…if Christ is at the center of yours?
Gabe - what is friendship in general - great place to start when you think about the idea and concept of marriage.
Mike - I am my wife’s CEO - Chief Encouragement Officer!!!
Keller - marriage has the power to set your life as a whole.
Keller - no other human being should get more of your love, energy, industry and commitment than your spouse.
Finally, Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to info@training4manhood.com
Guest: Ben Rogers, 5 years Army paratrooper, 2X deployed to Afghanistan, 9 years law enforcement and SWAT team member.
1 Samuel 9 - the story of Saul and his father’s servant looking for the lost donkeys. Read it to get the emphasis behind the podcast!
“Situational awareness” is being aware of what is happening around you in terms of where you are, where you are supposed to be, and whether anyone or anything around you is a threat to your health and safety.
Military training keeps you “on edge” all the time - to help “heighten” your senses, to give you an awareness of things other than your own personal care and comfort!
T4M - developing “situational awareness” means that you see yourself as PART of the world, not the CENTER of it! Which means that you have a role to play - and choices to make - will you be a person who is looking to BE SERVED…or to SERVE OTHERS?
Ben - “situational awareness” means that you need to pay attention to all the facets of your life - your family, finances, freedom…you can’t just bury your head in your mobile phone and not pay attention to the world around you.
Situational awareness can be taught - it’s the self-discipline to not be self-absorbed.
Steps to Develop Situational Awareness:
- Begins with self-discipline
- Next step is self-awareness (can’t grow until you’re honest with where you are).
- Learn to make goals…and then accomplish them. Start small…but start.
Great resource: Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…and Maybe the World by Admiral William H. McRaven
How to develop a “team” mentality:
- Consider how your performance is evaluated by those around you…at work, at home, at school, etc…
- Your family is your first team - you need to prepare to lead your family well.
- Team “leader” is ultimately responsible - you need to train your children and those under your authority, but the “buck stops” with you as the leader!
- Develop a mindset that you can accomplish things with or without recognition or praise.
Physical fitness is a great place to start the journey to self-discipline. Exercise, eat right, pay attention to the small details. As the famous Chinese proverb says, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
Ben - people who read are the smartest people in the world - you’ve got to do it. Best thing to read to start your day - God’s Word!
Ben - apply “situational awareness” and pay attention to your marriage relationship!
Ben - “complacency kills.” If you DON’T pay attention to these issues, there will be consequences for your lack of awareness.
Finally, Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to info@training4manhood.com
Guests: Mike Thornberry and Gabe Boyd
Tim Keller begins the book by talking about the importance of marriage from God’s design in comparison to what the world thinks about the institution of marriage. He shares some powerful statistics about the decline of marriage in America and then shares a very powerful comment from comedian Chris Rock who said, “Do you want to be single and lonely or married and bored?” The institution of marriage has fully morphed into something that is solely for my personal pleasure - and Keller believes that is not God’s design or intent for marriage!
Chapter 1 - “A man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery…” Ephesians 5:31-32
T4M is all about the idea that being a man is about being Christ-centered and other-focused, not self-absorbed.
Gabe: marriage has to be seen through the lens of the Gospel.
Dan: marriage, like the Gospel, is life-transforming and makes us better people.
Mike: when I first got married, I didn’t have a good definition of love. “Love is the commitment of my will to the betterment of your needs regardless of the cost to me.” From Tim Kimmel, Grace Filled Marriage.
Gabe: you can only give what you’ve been given. You have to have a relationship with Christ to truly understand God’s design for marriage.
Keller: Marriage used to be a public institution for the common good, and now it is a private arrangement for the satisfaction of the individuals. Marriage used to be about us, but now it is about me.
Dan: Marriage, as an institution the way that God has designed it, doesn’t make sense without the foundation of a life that has been transformed by the love and grace of Jesus Christ. Do you have to truly understand God’s design for marriage to get married - no, but you won’t be able to enjoy God’s design for sex unless you experience it in it’s proper place within the boundary and protection of marriage. It’s like fire - in the fireplace, it’s great; outside the fireplace, it’s destructive.
Chapter 2 - “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21
Mike: I wasn’t trying to help my spouse for a long time, I was trying to “fix” her. Big difference.
Dan: God loved us while we were yet sinners, and the walk of obedience changes us into the image of Christ. Marriage, when done God’s way, helps change us into the men and women that God desires.
Gabe: Keller writes, “Seek to serve one another rather than to be happy and you will find a new and deeper happiness.” This may sound ridiculous - but it’s true. The end result of marriage is that we would love each other for the glory of God, not our own selfish desires.
Finally, Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to info@training4manhood.com
Guest: Scott Turner
Begin to develop a life of SERVICE - look for opportunities to plug in and serve your community and your church. Pray that God would help you see the needs where you can serve - there is no “small” opportunity - Scott’s example of reading to younger children in the schools is such an important opportunity that men need to consider and fill!
Where does “service” begin - in the HOME! Before you export the wisdom of your life into the world, make sure that you’re actually living it out in your own home.
To learn more about “opportunity zones,” check out this resource - Dr. Ben Carson and Scott Turner, former Director of the White House Opportunity Zone and Revitalization Council, discuss the impact and future of Opportunity Zones with a panel of industry experts.
Wisdom from Scott:
- Remember the sacrifices made by those who have gone before - to secure the freedoms that we have today!
- Vote - remember that you are a Christian and find candidates whose values align with your Biblical worldview - educate yourself. Don’t vote for people because they have the most signs and commercials - find qualified candidates who will put into practice those principles and values that you believe are best for our community and country.
- Vote - know about the election you’re voting in - who the candidates are, what the issues are, the difference between a primary and general election.
- Men, you’re called to lead your family and community - voting in one of those important actions you need to engage in.
- Make voting a priority. Put it on your calendar and go!
Remember to get The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Tim Keller - we will begin our books discussions to be released on the Fridays in October!
Finally, Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to info@training4manhood.com
Guest: The Honorable Mike Johnson, Congressman for the 4th District of Louisiana
Seven Core Principles of Conservatism
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Individual Freedom
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- Individual liberties should be protected against the imposition of government intrusion - life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness 2. Purpose of Government is to secure our God-given rights
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Limited Government
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- When government expands, liberty contracts 2. Legitimate government exists only by the consent of the governed 3. The Constitution provides important safeguards - separation of powers, federalism, etc.. 4. Best protection against government largesse - involved and informed electorate
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Rule of Law
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- No king above the law, everyone subject to the law 2. Law must be implied partially and fairly to everyone 3. Each branch of government must perform their function, but not overstep its boundary
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Peace through Strength
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- Provide for the common defense - citizens, property, interests abroad…part of the Preamble of the Constitution 2. Must remain the strongest power 3. National security includes border security
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Fiscal Responsibility
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- Most significant threat to national security - our national debt
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Free Markets
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- Allows for innovation and expansion - gives people the liberty to take risks and pursue their dreams 2. Competition should be encouraged 3. People and the private sector outperform government every time
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Human Dignity
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- Everyone created in the image of God and has intrinsic value
- People should be measured by the content of their character
- Hard work should be the pathway out of public assistance
- Protect the life of the unborn - from womb to tomb
Check out more with Mike and Kelly Johnson on their podcast Truth Be Told.
Remember to get The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Tim Keller - we will begin our books discussions to be released on the Fridays in October!
Finally, Training4Manhood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization and donations are tax deductible. You can visit our website at Training4Manhood.com to make a donation using PayPal or can donate with a Zelle account to info@training4manhood.com
Guest: Rick Green
The Honorable Rick Green is a former Texas State Representative, a lawyer, and a successful entrepreneur who has built several businesses from the ground up. His goal is to help Americans to become salt and light in every area of life and to understand America’s Godly history and foundation. He currently travels the nation speaking for WallBuilders, teaching on the U.S. Constitution, and founded the Torch of Freedom Foundation and Patriot Academy. He resides in Dripping Springs, TX with his wife, Kara, and their entire family.
Check out more information about Rick Green and his ministry to train people to understand and engage in our political process through the Patriot Academy.
Do you want to live in freedom or tyranny?
“Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigues of supporting it.”
Thomas Paine, The Crisis, Sept. 12, 1777
“Perhaps you and I have lived too long with this miracle to properly be appreciative. Freedom is a fragile thing and it's never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by way of inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. And those in world history who have known freedom and then lost it have never known it again.”
Ronald Reagan, Then-Governor of California, Inaugural Address, January 5, 1967
Socialism - the “means of production” is controlled by the government - who decides what you’ll do, who you’ll work for, what freedoms and opportunities you’ll have - those are the questions that clearly differentiate a “democracy” or “free market economy” from one that is socialist.
The Law by Frederic Bastiat - want to know why socialism won’t work and is actually harmful to everyone involved - read this!
If there is a problem in society, whose responsibility is it to remedy the situation? Is it the responsibility of the individual, the family, the church, or the government? There are different roles and responsibilities for each - but once a task has been absorbed by the government, it’s difficult to shift those responsibilities and activities back to either the individual/family or the church.
How to get engaged:
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Take a Constitution course.
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Understand the “political party” system. The “primary” election is the opportunity to select which food will be on the tables. The “general” election is selecting from the food that is already on the table. Also, understand how the political party system affects legislation - the party that has the majority within a given legislature has the power to assign committees and bills to particular committees - a very significant power.
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Do the best you can with what you have where you are. Understand this principle when you go vote - there isn’t a perfect candidate, but you need to select from the “best” of the choices available…and party DOES matter when you vote. For more information, check out Ivoterguide.com
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Make a financial contribution to a candidate of your choice!
Electoral College - think of the World Series. A team (candidate) has to win a majority of the games - it’s not a contest to see who scores the most runs!
Being an educated and engaged citizen is a commandment, a duty, a responsibility - as a citizen of the United States of America, being an educated voter is the first step to being an educated and engaged citizen!
Training4Manhood Giving Opportunity - Zelle account: info@training4manhood.com
Guests: Tyler Reeves, Ty Robinson, and Will May
Where to start? Start every day in the Word - connecting with God before you have to interact with others! It’s amazing how much conflict arises over things that don’t really matter - “personal preferences that replace professional priorities.”
You can learn so much more from people who are not like you! Sometimes the “challenges” are simply “differences.”
WHEN you encounter conflict - not if, but when. Great place to begin is with YOU. What have you done…and what can you do - instead of looking at the failings and flaws of others!
Are you giving energy or taking? Are you making the situation/environment better or worse? Be honest with yourself!
When you make a mistake or do something wrong, apologize.
Resource Recommendations:
Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time by Susan Scott
Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean by Kim Scott
If you have an issue, go talk to the person face-to-face. Email is not the best avenue to remedy a problem.
Are you an advocate or ally for your coworkers? Be a force for positivity in your workplace!
Celebrate in public and criticize in private.
Run to where God is pulling you…instead of running away from something that bothers you. Good rule of thumb for life, work, ministry, etc.
Training4Manhood Giving Opportunity - Zelle account: info@training4manhood.com
Guests: Tyler Reeves, Ty Robinson, and Will May
Today is Labor Day and we wanted to continue our deep dive into a few things related to the workplace - three episodes with three guys who have some vast experience in the marketplace.
Are you chasing the title or willing to look for the experiences and responsibilities that will help you grow as an individual? Are you considering how the process works or just interested in getting a raise?
Self-evaluation should be constant. What are you doing to grow yourself as a person, which will logically spill over into the betterment of you as a worker as well!
Promotion Process:
- Have I earned the right to talk about a promotion?
- Am I starting to develop the skills necessary for my next job?
- Is the business ready?
Great companies will find a role for great people. That promotion may or may not be on “your” time schedule, but great companies will find a way to get the most out of their employees…and reward them for what they’ve given!
Function within your own scorecard. Comparison is the ultimate thief of joy. Be careful of comparing yourself and your career path to the journey of other; you may not have the same goals or be willing to make the same sacrifices!
Be careful of taking “short cuts” or chasing the money!
What are my values that this time, at this season, in my life and career?
Your Life…Well Spent: The Eternal Rewards of Investing Yourself and Your Money in Your Family by Russ Crosson
Failure happens ALL the time - what will you learn from those setbacks, how will you respond?
StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath
Training4Manhood Giving Opportunity - Zelle account: info@training4manhood.com
Guests: Tyler Reeves, Ty Robinson, and Will May
With Labor Day around the corner, we wanted to take a deep dive into a few things related to the workplace - three episodes with three guys who have some vast experience in the marketplace.
Episode 1 Getting the Job
Great companies always want to hire great people!
When thinking about a company to work for, the guys recommend you look for a place that will be a great place to learn - a good company that trains people well and equips them to be successful.
Consider - is the company growing or is the company slowing?
What do you want to do? Who has God created you to be and what skills and talents has He equipped you with to be successful?
What do you need to be successful in terms of interviewing for a job?
- Dress for success, lean toward “more” professional than “less”
- Know about the company, the person interviewing you
- Be prepared to ask good questions - I know your biggest competitor is Y, what makes you different from them? Also, ask the interviewer if they’re done asking questions before you start asking questions about the company.
- Don’t forget the follow up - and look to be specific.
- Don’t be looking at your phone!
- Be early for an interview, but not too early!
- Don’t lie. Don’t put false things on your resume. Don’t say you know people that you don’t.
Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul by John Eldredge
Roundtable Discussion Participants: Michael Thornberry, Gabe Boyd, Parker Panetti and Dan Panetti
Episode 4: Chapters 10-12
Every man needs a beauty to rescue.
Under the shadow of a man’s strength, a woman finds her rest. Good stuff.
We have a responsibility to fight not only for our own hearts, but for those we love as well.
Women want to know that you value HER.
The universe is so vast and so ageless that the life of just one man can only be measured by his sacrifice.
Every man needs an adventure to live.
The essence of the book pushes you to ask the big questions of life. What am I going to risk? Will I trust God or will I sell out for money?
Don’t “drift” with the strongest current at the time - learn to swim upstream to your dream!
What’s the cost of not doing what you’ve been designed to do!
This is not an information book, it’s meant to inspire and move you - go do something!
Next book to be discussed in October - The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller
Guests: Jared Wood and Chase Hilbert
Show me the man you honor, and I will know what kind of man you are, for it shows me what your ideal of manhood is and what kind of man you long to be. Thomas Carlyle, July 1850
What men do you honor? What men do you want to emulate? Is there an ideal man out there who you can model your life after - or does every man have flaws that prevent you from putting them on a pedestal - or should we put anyone on a pedestal other than Jesus himself?
Are there younger men that you can learn from?
What principles do you think are important in the man that you follow?
JWood - integrity and loyalty are two of the biggest personal characteristics that are important to see.
How do you find other men that encourage you on your journey to manhood? There will be some great coaches, teachers, etc. who speak life and truth into your life along the way. Be wise about the men you allow into your life.
Also ask the question - are you the type of man that others would want to emulate?
JWood - the word “legacy” comes to mind - what type of man do you want to be, what legacy do you want to leave for others?
Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul by John Eldredge
Roundtable Discussion Participants: Michael Thornberry, Gabe Boyd, Parker Panetti and Dan Panetti
Episode 3: Chapters 7-9
I don’t trust a man who hasn’t suffered. If you don’t realize your weaknesses, you still believe you can be self-sufficient and do life on your own.
You cannot be the man who rescues until you’re the man without the horse. Good line! You can’t give what you don’t possess.
Having kids is an incredible journey into self-awareness.
Christ is not only the “chief-sufferer” he’s also the “chief-physician.” He not only understands our sufferings, He is the solution for our problems, the “balm of Gilead.”
Ignorance is not a resolution.
Distinction between a warrior and a mercenary. A mercenary fights for his own benefit. A warrior serves something or someone higher than himself!
If you know the enemy, and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you’ll also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle. Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Let people feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.
Sabotage happens when we give our strength away. The most selfish thing is not wanting to run at full strength! You are wasting people’s time if you’re not in God’s Word each day.
For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law [God’s Word], the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. James 1:23-25
If we ignore the enemy, then he wins.
Learning to fight starts with remembering.
How many of us have spent “extra” time at work? Compare with this question - how many of us have spent “extra” time with God? Which one gets our time, attention, and priority?
Guest: Stephen Oehlschlaeger
A good name is better than precious ointment, and the day of death than the day of birth. Ecclessiastes 7:1
Solomon is saying that everyone gets a name when they are born; but when they die, we all get to evaluate what they did with the name they were given - what life did they make, what impact did they have, what legacy did they leave?
People have to feel like you care about them before a relationship will grow.
So important to have good people around you - here’s a quote that expresses that concept to wrestle with:
“One of the most valuable lessons I learned from [my father] growing up was that we are all guilty by association. In other words, we are the average of the people that we spend the most time with. So, if you want to be drug dealer? Surround yourself with drug dealers. If you want to be a millionaire? Surround yourself with millionaires. This goes for surrounding yourself with people who are caring, generous, etc., and has really carried into the kinds of friends and professional networks that I aim to keep.” Adam Callinan, cofounder and CEO of BottleKeeper
While there is some truth to this comment, I think this idea is too simplistic - good place to start, but relationships are more complex and deserve more attention than this quote gives to them. For example, you can surround yourself with millionaires that lack moral integrity and have lied and cheated their way to their wealth - just because you have money, doesn’t mean that you have character.
While you are influenced by the people you’re around, you need to be discerning about what level of influence you allow anyone to have in your life. The old adage of “eating the chicken and throwing away the bones” can apply to relationships as well as ideas - we can learn positive aspects from others, but choose to not allow negative influences into our lives.
Key: learn how to evaluate and self-reflect on your own life.
Key: training for manhood is a series of a million “smaller” decisions that you make every day that add up to the quality of your life
Men, do the work without the need for recognition. But…if I expect nothing, doesn’t that mean I’ll get nothing? That’s what you signed up for - remember? You should be giving 100% expecting nothing…and find a spouse who signs up to give 100% expecting nothing - that’s a great marriage!
Believers who are loving their spouse correctly, the natural gaps that are created in life are filled.
What kind of man do you want to be…and are you around the kind of men that you want to be? Realize there is more to being a man than your bank account. Are you around guys that model what is means to be the kind of man you really want to be?
Men, find some time to evaluate how you’re doing in life - self-awareness, self-reflection. Small course corrections done more frequently are much easier than a large course correction later in life.
Men, utilize some “tools” along the way to help you evaluate where you are in life. Write some thoughts down in a journal so you can evaluate those feelings and thoughts later.
Men, ask yourself this question: are you proud of the work you’re doing? Are you proud of the person you’re becoming? If not, what steps are you going to take to change things?
Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul by John Eldredge
Roundtable Discussion Participants: Michael Thornberry, Gabe Boyd, Parker Panetti and Dan Panetti
Episode 2: Chapters 4-6
My job as a father is to point my kids to the cross of Jesus Christ!
Until a man knows he’s a man, he’ll forever try to prove he’s one…and at the same time he’ll shrink from anything that might prove that he’s not.
What’s the role of women in training up a man? Femininity can arouse masculinity, but it can’t produce it.
If you’ve given your wife the power to validate you as a man, she has the power to invalidate you as well.
Who am I looking to for the validation of my manhood? Are these people who will build you up or tear you down? Do we look to God, the author and perfecter of our faith to validate who we are?
When we become performance driven to validate our identity, it produces a culture of self-centered, independent men who only care about themselves.
Men think they are on their own because they’ve created a bubble around them to “protect” themselves from being hurt - reality is that our strength and significance come from inside, from our relationship to the Lord, not from what we do in terms of performance…
The only thing more tragic than the tragedy that happens is the way that we handle it!
“Rubbing dirt” on the real wounds of life can actually make things worse!
The wound you’ve embraced is a wound you can not heal. The wound you think you deserve is a wound you can not heal. Wow, that’s good stuff!
If you deal with a wound properly, that transformation can change your life in a positive manner!
Sometimes the best teacher is failure.
A man needs a much bigger orbit than a woman - some larger purpose - only then can he invite someone into this mission!
Guest: Michael Craven
Michael is the Vice President, Equipping and Mobilization at The Colson Center.
To learn more about The Colson Center and its founder, Chuck Colson, visit their website.
What Does It Mean to be a Man?
What is our philosophy of parenting? The Christian goal of parenting is to raise virtuous men and women.
If God has given the power and authority of the “sword” to the state (government) to enact justice and fight evil, then is it our responsibility to participate in the state’s actions that fight against evil?
From a mother to her son - do your duty. When women expect men to be men, they rise to the occasion.
Are we raising our young women to expect men to act like men, to expect men to treat them with respect? Women determine the sexual ethic of a culture because they “control opportunity.”
Psalm 144:12 - May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown, our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace.
What are you going to do about those two questions:
- Who does she say Jesus is?
- What are you going to do about sex?
The man should lead the relationship and establish those proper, right, and good boundaries for a healthy relationship. Sex before marriage inhibits true intimacy and frustrates the maturity and development of meaningful relationships.
The physical connection (sex) is not adequate to sustain a meaningful and profound relationship that should last a lifetime!
Once you establish those clear and healthy boundaries for sex, then you need to make good decisions that support that decision!
If she is a WALL, we will build on her a battlement of silver, but if she is a DOOR, we will enclose her with boards of cedar. Song of Solomon 8:9
- Men, work to protect the virtue and chastity of the women in your life - your sisters, those you date/marry, your daughters - if she is a wall, strong and virtuous, value will come to her…but if she is a door (meaning that she would allow men to be intimate with her without discretion), then you need to work to protect her from herself.
- Dads, guard the hearts of your daughters. Check out the movie Courageous to see this concept in action!
We need to raise and expect our kids to be godly…not good. Godly individuals, by definition, will be “good” (nice, polite, meek - powerful under control), but they will also be strong, courageous, bold, truthful, honest, etc…
Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul by John Eldredge
Roundtable Discussion Participants: Michael Thornberry, Gabe Boyd, Parker Panetti and Dan Panetti
Episode 1: Chapters 1-3
Every man is going to have 1) a battle to fight, 2) a beauty to rescue, and 3) an adventure to live.
What is a Christian man? Eldredge tries to present a target to aim for in life…if you aim for nothing, you’ll hit it every time! Jesus is our example and our model for life.
Eldredge addresses the concept of what a Christian man isn’t…he examines what the world has tried to make men into and the traps that far too many guys fall into that keep them from becoming the men that God has designed.
Don’t settle for “good” when the goal should be “godly!” Godliness includes goodness, but goes beyond that. The world doesn’t need nice guys - it needs warriors! Dangerous men who live under control.
Do you need to be whitewater rafting down a river in Colorado to truly understand what it means to be a man? No…but Eldredge is trying to get a person out of their comfort zones to see that life is greater and grander than what they have settled for.
The question that haunts every man - am I [blank] enough? Am I strong enough? Am I smart enough? Am I rich enough? That’s not the question you should be asking. The I AM IS enough! Manhood shouldn’t be defined by a performance standard, but needs to be understood from a Biblical perspective because God is the author and designer of manhood.
“What is a Christian man” is an IDENTITY question. Your purpose doesn’t create your identity - your identity determines and gives you a purpose. Who you are should dictate what you do and not the other way around!
Guest: Michael Craven
Michael is the Vice President, Equipping and Mobilization at The Colson Center.
To learn more about The Colson Center and its founder, Chuck Colson, visit their website.
Colson was devoted to the development of the Christian worldview - the underlying philosophical thought process that dictates a person’s actions. Your actions are controlled by your belief system - Colson understood this concept and tried to equip the church to address issues at their root cause.
Colson’s desire was for Christians to develop a comprehensive Biblical worldview that would engage the false ideas of this world system with the truth of God’s Word. The Colson Fellows is the continued work of The Colson Center for Christian Worldview in helping equip Christians in this effort.
Michael: we need to understand the difference between the “private” Christian faith where a person “invites Jesus into their life” and the public Christian faith where “Jesus invites a person into His purpose, His plans.”
Michael: we have a two-fold duty - to love God and to love others. Is it possible to love others yet allow them to be destroyed by false ideologies?
Michael: we can commend the truth, contend for the truth, and demonstrate the truth.
How did we get here, today, on the issues of gender and sexuality? Read The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self by Dr. Carl Trueman.
Michael: Christ has come into the world to set right all that has been set wrong, and He invites us into that redemptive work.
Michael: there is a profoundly intellectual dimension of being a follower of Jesus Christ - having the “mind of Christ.”
Michael: the book How Should We Then Live? by Francis Schaeffer opened his mind to the understanding of a much broader and more profound Christian life.
Michael: our principal witness of the gospel of the Kingdom is demonstrating to a watching world this is what life looks like when it is lived under the rule and reign of Jesus Christ!
Dan: Francis Schaeffer’s book A Christian Manifesto was the book that brought me into this awareness of a Christian worldview
Take-away: read lots of old books. Begin to have those important conversations with others. Listen. Learn. Ask questions. Explore deeply the concept of a Christian worldview - which includes the concepts of creation, fall, redemption, and restoration - and seek to understand who the King is and what He’s called you to do - this is the abundant life in Christ!
Guest: Rick Briscoe
Instagram: @RickBriscoe
Hebron Road Facebook page
Hebron Road website
Rick grew up with a father who struggled with alcoholism. While his father was unable to properly mentor and lead Rick as a young man, God graciously brought other men across his path.
“I do believe, without Christ in my life, without the mentors who walked alongside me, I would have been an absolute disaster.”
Between Two Worlds: The Inner Life of Children of Divorce by Elizabeth Marquardt
“There’s another hero in my life and that’s my wife Barbi.”
“I was only going to love my dad, if he got better.” God convicted Rick that he was withholding grace and forgiveness from his father, but God had not withheld His own grace and forgiveness from Rick. Consider Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Men, is there someone in your life that you need to forgive? Have you accepted the forgiveness of God through Jesus Christ in your own life? God's forgiveness can set you free from the chains and legacy of hardship and difficulty so you don't have to pass these things on to your kids and grandkids!
Guest: Neal Jeffrey
If I Can, Y-yyou Can! Giving All You’ve Got to Become All You Can Be (actual title) - great book about the life and testimony of Neal Jeffrey
From NealJeffrey.com:
NEAL JEFFREY, former All-American quarterback at Baylor University and quarterback for the San Diego Chargers, learned the meaning of overcoming early in life. A stutterer since childhood, Neal had to find a way to "get through what he couldn't get over" to achieve his lifelong dreams. Today, he is one of America's most powerful and passionate communicators, speaking for corporate conferences, national conventions, sales organizations, sports teams – twice for the New York Yankees – school districts, student groups and churches from coast to coast. Everywhere he goes he inspires audiences to go "higher, swifter, stronger" in the critical areas of life. In addition to a busy speaking schedule, Neal serves as a speaking/teaching minister at the 28,000-member Prestonwood Church of Dallas, Texas, where he has served for over 25 years. He and his wife Sheila live in the Dallas area and have three grown children. His new book, If I Can, Y-Y-You Can! is available nationwide and at info@nealjeffrey.com
We live in a world where nobody wants to live under authority.
Truth is, if I’m left up to myself, it’s not going to be good. I’m self-serving. I have appetites that can lead me to a place where the world says you ought to go, but if you go there, it’s going to be a disaster!
How do you learn to live under authority? It helps to have an older man model living under proper authority. For some, it may be their biological father. Others might see this and learn these principles from a good coach. For everyone, learning how to live under authority from God’s Word is available.
It is valuable to learn to live under authority before you are placed in a position of authority.
Living under the authority of God means that you say “Yes, sir” to whatever God has for you. You can trust the goodness and plan of God for your life - and you can find out more about God’s will for your life by spending time reading God’s Word.
To read more about the faith of the centurion, read the passage found in Matthew 8:5-13.
One of the greatest ways that a man can honor God is to honor his wife, to cherish her, to love and care for and provide for her. You have an authority in heaven that you will answer to.
Men, you need to have others around you that you will listen to as you make important decisions in life. We all need someone that we allow to hold us accountable, to speak truth into our lives, to “slap us upside the head” and bring a sense of clarity to a situation.
What about the guy who has been under “bad” authority? God isn’t a bad authority, but a loving and perfect authority. God can help you forgive and move past the experiences of bad authority by the power of His grace.
Compare the self-sacrificing example of Jesus to the self-serving actions of others. Jesus led by serving others, even the “least of these.” That’s an “authority” that you can place your trust in and delight in.
Two take-aways:
- If you’re not under authority, you need to consider coming under the loving authority of God.
- If you’re in a position of authority, are you using your position and power in a self-serving fashion or are you leading by example, serving others, working to make those around you better?
Guest: Neal Jeffrey
If I Can, Y-yyou Can! Giving All You’ve Got to Become All You Can Be (actual book title) - great book about the life and testimony of Neal Jeffrey
From NealJeffrey.com:
NEAL JEFFREY, former All-American quarterback at Baylor University and quarterback for the San Diego Chargers, learned the meaning of overcoming early in life. A stutterer since childhood, Neal had to find a way to "get through what he couldn't get over" to achieve his lifelong dreams. Today, he is one of America's most powerful and passionate communicators, speaking for corporate conferences, national conventions, sales organizations, sports teams – twice for the New York Yankees – school districts, student groups and churches from coast to coast. Everywhere he goes he inspires audiences to go "higher, swifter, stronger" in the critical areas of life. In addition to a busy speaking schedule, Neal serves as a speaking/teaching minister at the 28,000-member Prestonwood Church of Dallas, Texas, where he has served for over 25 years. He and his wife Sheila live in the Dallas area and have three grown children. His new book, If I Can, Y-Y-You Can! is available nationwide and at info@nealjeffrey.com
God loves you and CAN use you…and He can use your weaknesses for His glory!
What things are in your life that you struggle to trust God with?
The encouraging words of Neal’s mom - I don’t know why, but I just know that God loves you and God is going to use this in your life in some incredible way…we just need to trust Him.
Life Lesson from Neal - the life of comparison is a losing game. If you aren’t confident with who God has made you to be, you’ll never fully know all that God has planned and prepared for YOU! Don’t waste your time looking at everyone else, wanting to be someone else; spend your time getting to know the God that made you, crafted you, created you - the more you know about Him, the more you’ll know about His plans for your life.
Neal’s wisdom for struggles in life - “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4
YOU are God’s “masterpiece” - “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10
Life Lesson from Neal - we often see ourselves through a negative lens, while others often don’t focus on our negatives as much as we do!
Life Lesson from Neal - my “main assignment” in life is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37
God has a plan for everything…including YOU!
Guest: Ryan Bangert, Alliance Defending Freedom
Happy July 4th! On July 4th, Americans celebrate the passage of the Declaration of Independence, which reads in part:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
Recently, the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) handed down a monumental decision in the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization (Dobbs) case that effectively overturned the infamous 1973 Roe v. Wade decision where the Court had found a woman’s right to an abortion was a Constitutionally protected right. Overturning Roe means that the “right to an abortion” is now no longer secured by the federal courts and is subject to the determination of the governed - just as the Framers had intended our governmental process to work. So whether you’re “pro-abortion” or “pro-life,” Dobbs returns the power to influence the legislative process back to the citizens of each state to decide through their elected representatives, a right which the Court had usurped from citizens in the Roe decision.
As men, what does the Dobbs decision mean?
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A large percentage of women seeking abortions are single women who already have other children, but because of financial or other considerations, feel that they are unable to support another child. Men should be part of this consideration and equation and not leave the burden and responsibility to raise children entirely on the shoulders of the mothers of their children. Before abortion becomes a legislative or legal issue, it is a personal responsibility issue and men need to be personally responsible for their children.
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Women facing the decision over abortion or birth are looking for wisdom and guidance and men have an opportunity to support pregnancy centers in their community to give women the needed support to choose life. If you’re in the DFW area, look to support the Prestonwood Pregnancy Center. If you live in other areas of the country, visit the resource list made available from The Heidi Group. The Human Coalition is also a great organization to know about and support.
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As more women look to give birth to their children, there may be an increased opportunity for men to step up in terms of adoption and foster care. Even if you’re not looking to bring a child into your family, you can support others who are willing. Learn more from CHOSEN: Christ’s Hope for Orphans: Supporting, Embracing, Nurturing.
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Don’t forget about post-abortive resources for women struggling with the trauma and anxiety that often comes from having an abortion. Check out the resources available from Focus on the Family for post-abortive care.
Guest: Warren Craft, Frisco Automotive
Frisco Automotive & Transmission
6623 W Main St, Frisco, TX 75034
972-335-9823
Open M-F, 7:30 am - 6:00 pm
Standard items to maintain - change your engine oil on a regular basis (according to your owner’s manual), keep your tire pressure correct, check your belts and fluids to make sure they look good (under the hood), and change your air filters on a regular basis.
Warren’s recommended vehicles:
Honda, Toyota, Nissan - excellent sedans/family cars
Chevy, Ford, GMC - excellent trucks
Warren’s warning about cars that are more expensive to maintain:
Volvo, Audi - and all German-made vehicles (Mercedes-Benz, VW, BMW)
Timing chain - shouldn’t have to ever replace! Timing belt - make sure you are watching for wear and change when needed
Transmission - fluid should be changed on a regular basis. Warren says that if it hasn’t been serviced in a long time, you might be better off just leaving it alone and driving it for as long as you can!
Looking for a good automotive repair shop where you live, visit the AAA Approved Auto Repair Facility Locator!
Warranty - be careful when buying a used car - Warren recommends getting an extended warranty if it’s from the auto manufacturer - not the “after-market” warranty. Warren says that you can take a vehicle to an automotive shop, like Frisco Automotive, and not violate the warranty - that’s something for you to verify.
Warren says that if you purchase a vehicle from a place like Carvana, where you can buy it online without seeing/driving it first, make sure you take that car into a place like Frisco Automotive and get it checked out - apparently Carvana will let you return it within the first six days.
Guests: Parker Panetti and Nathan Litwiller
Proverbs 18:21 - Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
Matthew 12:34 - Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
Parker - thinking before you speak can be difficult because we don’t see immediate consequences or have immediate ramifications for what we say to others!
James 1:19 - Be quick to listen, slow to speak…
Dan - we’ve lost the respect for the weight of another person’s words…because most people don’t put much thought and effort into saying words that have meaning and significance.
Parker - Thinking before you speak means that you have to put thought into what goes into heart and mind before you open your mouth - not just at the specific moment.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29
Parker - think of two ponds, one salt water and one fresh water. The fish in the pond that you feed will grow, the fish in the pond that you ignore will die. What are you feeding in your life - good things or corrupt things?
Dan - you are consumers of ideas and concepts - we make choices everyday to fill our hearts and minds with positive, quality, life-affirming words and ideas - or to fill our hearts and minds with the negativity of this world.
Parker - three men you need in your life: Older, wiser man to speak truth into your life and set an example for you to follow Guys your age that you do life together who build you up and challenge you Younger guys that you are training and encouraging in their walk
The Word of God should be your primary source for truth and encouragement - then add the influence of other men on your journey.
Nate - men need to step up and hold each other accountable for what they say
Parker - important to balance grace and truth when you speak. Humility is crucial to be able to do this well. How do you develop humility? Spend time with God.
Nate - integrity means that you need to be consistent with your words. Everyone will give an account for each word - Matthew 12:36
Guests: Parker Panetti and Nathan Litwiller
Have you ever considered why you drink alcohol? Some people may wrestle with the issue of drinking before the legal age of 21, but not too many people question the concept of not drinking at all.
Parker - people ask him why he doesn’t drink. His reply - why do you drink? This is a question that people should be wrestling with.
Nate - T4M is all about learning how to make these difficult decisions regardless of what others are or aren’t doing.
Dan - in talking to seniors in high school, one student gave me a “good” reason why they were going to drink in college - he said, “I don’t like who I am…alcohol allows me to be somebody different.” Think about that concept - not liking yourself is not a good reason to do anything!
Parker - alcohol can be a delay of manhood - it pushes off the idea of responsibility.
Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 10:23
Have you seen alcohol make someone a better person?
Nate - I never made a wise decision under the influence of alcohol.
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17
Be sober-minded. The decisions you make are important and have real consequences. Why would you want something that impairs your decision-making process?
Parker - don’t plan to accidentally fail. Your job is to not only protect yourself, but also those around you - especially if you’re responsible for the safety and well-being of a young lady.
Think about this - what percentage of sexual assaults include the use of alcohol? Take away the influence of alcohol and your ability to make good decisions increases dramatically!
Older guys - you’re setting an example for others to follow. Do you think that alcohol is a benefit to your life and something that you want to pass on to your children?
AW Tozer - “The church will be at the height of its heresy when it calls obedience legalism.”
Guest: Matthew Snyder
Ownership vs. Stewardship principle - how do you understand the money that you earn/have?
A man needs to be generous - with their time, talents, and treasure. A mark of a man is that he gives to those in need from what has been given to him.
Giving is the expectation - but not just giving from a concept of scarcity, but from the idea of generosity! What is my motivation in doing what I do?
“Vacation” - what are you doing with “your” time - what if you rethink your time away from work and look to invest it into those in need?
Plan to give a greater percentage of your income every year…
Generosity begets generosity - when people see others who are generous, they want to be a part of it as well!
Keep your eyes open - look for opportunities to give to the needs of others!
The concept of generosity is connected to humility.
Parable of the Rich Young Ruler - Matthew 19:16-22
Going through “challenging” times is helpful with the development of a generous heart.
Being around people who are in a different economic position than you can help you develop a better perspective on giving and generosity.
Generosity isn’t an amount, it’s a heart attitude.
Guest: Matthew Snyder
Andrew Carnegie - “The almighty dollar bequeathed to a child is an almighty curse. No man has the right to handicap his son with such a burden as great wealth. He must face this question squarely: Will my fortune be safe with my boy and will my boy be safe with my fortune?”
First principle - ownership. Am I the owner of my money - or is money, and the ability to make money, a gift from God? How you answer this question will direct the way that you understand the concept of money!
James 1:17 - Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens.
“Stewardship” - the idea that you are not the owner, but you are responsible for the management of something. ALL that you have has been given to you - your time, your talents, your treasure - and you are responsible for the management of every aspect of your life.
Managing Your Money:
- Giving
- Saving
- Investing
- Spending
Giving - you need to plan your giving - setting aside a percentage of your income to give to others - your church, the needs of others, a cause you find important, etc. Matthew has made a commitment to give away an increasing percentage of their income year after year!
Saving - there is saving for the long-term and saving for emergencies in the short term. The more you save early, that money builds and compounds over time!
Investing - it takes money to make money. Look for opportunities to use your money to invest into the development of industries that make money. You can be aggressive or conservative with those investments - basic principle: don’t put all your investment “eggs” in one basket - important to diversify your investments.
Spending - using the resources that the Lord has blessed you with to enjoy life - if you like shoes, buy shoes…if you like drinking coffee, buy coffee - but be wise in how you spend your money and don’t let your money and the things that you buy control your life!
Debt - the basic principle is to work to LIMIT debt. Three things to pay attention to:
- Credit cards - pay these off first, highest interest rate. Look at credit cards like cash.
- College loans - pay these off next to get “debt-free” so that you can look to purchase some of those bigger ticket items.
- Cars - be careful not to spend too much money on a car as a status symbol!
Delayed gratification - you don’t always have to have everything you want right when you want it - save up for things, delay that gratification until you can afford it.
Make sure you have conversations about money, finances, etc. if you’re in a relationship with another person to make sure you’re both on the same page!
GUEST: Will May
Wisdom comes with age and experience…but, get wisdom as young and quickly as possible!
Proverbs 23:23 - Buy wisdom (truth) and never sell it.
Billy Graham - knowledge is horizontal (something you can get from others), wisdom is vertical (something drawn down from God).
Proverbs 1:7 - The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
Will - major struggle for man is pride, self-reliance. Wisdom is the recognition that you need help, that you don’t know what’s best! The fear of the Lord means that you take what God says about you, life, etc…and begin your understanding there, not with your own experience.
Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths (or make your paths straight).
To gain wisdom, start with the fear of the Lord, then what?
- Pursue relationships with other godly men (think older men) whom you can learn from
- Develop real accountability and discipleship in your life
Find people who are “successful” and learn from them - contact them, set up an appointment, take a notebook and pen, ask intelligent questions.
Non-biblical, but practical “proverbs”:
- Most people listen, few people execute, champions make habits
- Aristotle - we are what we repeatedly do, excellence therefore is not a single act but a habit
- Evaluation - it’s not always wise to judge a person by one particular situation, there are times it is wise to consider a broader perspective
- Do it right, do it light; do it wrong, do it long. Shortcuts are many times a “longer” way and the least effective and efficient path! Don’t take “shortcuts” on things that are really important for your development! Know the difference between efficiency and laziness!
- Don’t complicate a ham sandwich - keep it simple, stupid. Touch it once - can you just get it done instead of complicating it?
Wisdom - the art of taking something complex and making it simple. Don’t complicate things - don’t take simple things and make them more complex!
Alistair Begg - Proverbs is godliness in working clothes.
Guest: Will May
Proverbs 14:23 - Work brings profit, but mere talk leads to poverty!
Will - my dad taught me the value of hard work and the value of taking responsibility
How do you develop a strong and consistent work ethic? By working.
Colossians 3:23 - Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men…
What’s your “motivation” for work?
- External motivation - money, fame, power, etc…
- Internal motivation - I work because God has given me gifts to employ and has called me to work, therefore I work because that’s who I am and how I demonstrate God’s calling in my life
Great Commission - Matthew 28:16-20
Go and make disciples - or could be understood as “as you go” - so you can “make disciples” in whatever you’re doing!
What kinds of things are you looking for when you hire someone?
- “Nobody ever looks better than the day that you hire them”
- ICCE
- Intelligence - IQ, EQ, and curiosity (what questions are you asking?)
- Character - how do you treat other people?
- Coachability - do you listen well and make adjustments? Do you read?
- Experience - what have you done, have you been promoted before?
Intelligence and Character - at this point in your life, you’re probably not going to get much more of in your life!
Dan - the sign of intelligence is the ability to ask a good question
Are there dumb questions? YES!!!
Work ethic - starts with working hard…then can move to working smart. Are you engaged in your job and company, are you a self-starter or do you need to be told what to do?
Hard work includes understanding the value of REST…and recharging.
Will - try to figure out how to stick out a job for at least 12 months - don’t always look at the proverbial “greener” grass on the other side.
Will - think “cross-functionally”
Leadership Development Pipeline - learn how to lead yourself, then learn how to lead people, 7 different layers of leadership. Think about how to not only improve my role, but how my role can improve the overall company!
Things I can control and Things that matter - Venn diagram - where those two concepts overlap, that’s where you can get involved in making things better that aren’t specifically your responsibility
Will - do the “little things” - think about how what you do affects others - look to not only make yourself successful, but what makes others successful as well?
Recommended resources:
Vivid Vision: A Remarkable Tool for Aligning Your Business Around a Shared Vision of the Future by Cameron Herold
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear
Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win by Jacko Willink
Guest: Hunter Dehn
Hunter Dehn Realty
Delayed Gratification - can I put off some things that I want, but don’t need now, to be able to get something better that I’ll need later?
Get your house in order first…get out of debt as fast as possible. Less debt is better than more debt! Watch out for short term, high-interest debt - credit cards can charge outrageous interest rates, be careful!
Hunter - the car you drive doesn’t make you as cool as you think it does!
Renting vs. Buying. You want to rent for the shortest amount of time possible. Rent in order to save money. If you’re paying as much in rent as you would for a home, that’s not a good financial plan!
When you go get a loan, they’re looking at two things:
- Debt to income ratio. How much money do you have left after taxes vs. how much debt are you carrying at the time (your existing debt obligations)
- Have some equity, some money to put down
Hunter - financial advice - try to have 6 months worth of expenses in savings, just in case
What should I be looking for in a home?
Location is the most important decision - try to be as close to the things that you’re going to be doing all the time, within reason. Some people are handy and can add value to a new home that needs a little work, others need to purchase a move-in ready home. Know what your skill set is. Handy, but don’t know how to do things - find a YouTube video - but be careful of DYI plumbing and electrical work!
Homes in Texas - moved from pier and beam foundations to slab foundations. Cast iron pipes in a slab foundation that crack and break over time can cost a lot of money to repair. Get a plumber to check the pipes and also look out for potential foundation problems.
Real Estate - you want a LOCAL expert in the housing market. A realtor can help you with the paperwork and legal issues no matter where they are located, but only a local expert understands the local housing market. Don’t be penny wise and pound foolish (don’t save a “little” that will end up costing you a lot more!).
Hunter - find a good, knowledgeable lender. Start by getting your credit score in order. Develop a good credit history - don’t let your credit amount get above 50% of your credit limit - and make sure you are paying off your credit card monthly. Lenders want to see that you’re a good investment - a responsible borrower who makes their payments on time.
Guest: James Emery White
Pastor, Mecklenburg Community Church in Charlotte, NC
President of Serious Times a ministry that explores the intersection of faith and culture, find more about this at ChurchandCulture.org
Find someone further down the road - get into a mentoring relationship!
In life, God doesn’t often give clarity. He wants you to trust Him and walk by faith, not by sight.
Where are your giftings and passions - and how is God going to weave the way that He’s created you into a life path and career?! Your gifts tell you what to do, your passions tell you where.
There is a big difference between success and significance. Significance is what we’re really made for - making a difference in this one and only life!
Historical mentoring - read biographies of men who lived life well. Dr. White recommended one book that influenced his life - Borden of Yale.
Advice on relationships with women - don’t compromise. Don’t date someone that you know that you should not marry (a person who is not a believer, Scripture speaks to the issue of being “unequally yoked” or connected your life with a person who does not have Christ at the center of their life). Second biggest decision in life - who you’re going to marry. Don’t play around with this decision. What you’re looking for is someone who becomes more attractive to you the more you get to know them and spend time with them - the concept of “inward beauty.” More important thing in a relationship is to be “one in Christ.”
Advice on relationships with guys - when you spend time with someone, are you being influenced or are you the influencer - be honest, are you getting sharpened by spending time with that person?! Do I walk away wanting to do more for Jesus…or a little less loving and generous? Be honest with how others influence you. Guy, also don’t discount the influence of both older men and women - for example, The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom, great book for everyone to read.
Dr. White is the author of more than 20 books - here are the 8 books of his that I’ve read and recommend:
A Mind for God
Serious Times
A Traveler's Guide to the Kingdom
Meet Generation Z
A Search for the Spiritual
Wrestling with God
Embracing the Mysterious God
The DaVinci Question
Guest: Dr. Rick Fowler
There are a lot of challenges for boys in the transition to manhood - which is why the phrase “boys will be boys” is profound and needs to be addressed!
We are not born with “executive functioning” skills - they must be developed. According to Understood.org, “executive function is a set of mental skills that include working memory, flexible thinking, and self-control. We use these skills every day to learn, work, and manage daily life. Trouble with executive function can make it hard to focus, follow directions, and handle emotions, among other things.” Sound like anyone you know?!
Brain isn’t fully developed until age 25. Is this an excuse for why “boys will be boys” or something to know, address, and work to handle?
Dr. Fowler - kids aren’t expected to be out of the home and on their own until the age of 32. WHAT?!
“Lawnmower parents” - mowing down any obstacles in the way of their children.
Dr. Fowler - you need these three things to be successful:
- Self-discipline - you have choices, make good ones
- Intrinsic motivation - your motivation to get up and get moving must come from within, not because of external factors (money, etc.)
- Delayed gratification - putting off immediate pleasures for something that you want that’s better, but you need to wait for it, save for it, etc…
Make Your Bed by Admiral William H. McRaven
Dr. Fowler - if you’ve been in the cocoon of a protective parent, you might need to be a “life-coach” to help you navigate the difficult waters of adulting.
Dr. Fowler - social media addiction works in the brain the same way as ADHD - hard to tell the difference…
Dr. Fowler - encouragement helps. If you’re an older man, speak words of encouragement into the life of those younger letting them know they can accomplish things. Check out Dr. Fowler’s own personal testimony What’s the Problem…I Understand Me: How Those with ADHD Think, Learn, and Communicate.
Dr. Fowler - ADHD - the “D” doesn’t have to be a disorder, but can be seen as a difference. If you understand how your brain works best, you’ll be able to accomplish tasks better!
Dan’s suggestions - carry a four-color pen and a notebook with you at all times!
Dr. Fowler - most ADHD people are highly kinesthetic - and need an energy release before their mind will be able to focus!
Guys - let’s take the time to learn more about how we learn best - let’s not make excuses, but look for ways that we can be better!
READING and MEMORIZATION - important life skills for men - more on this coming soon to T4M!
Guest: Rob Wilton
Pastor, Vintage Church, Pittsburgh, PA
Follow Rob Wilton
Jesus radically saved Rob’s grandfather, which changed the trajectory of his entire family!!!
What if YOU are the only believer in your family - YOU can be that legacy that passed down a different path for your great-grandkids!
Guys, if you don’t have an example of what a man should be - Jesus is THE greatest example, THE greatest man. Ephesians 3:14-15: “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.” God, the Father, is the Creator, the Provider, the Sustainer.
Wilton Family Manifesto - We are a family that has been loved by Jesus in order to love like Jesus so that the world will know Jesus by our love. Together we remain thankful for His love, faithful in His love, and generous with His love.
1 John 4:19, Deut. 6:5, Gal. 5:14
My job as a father - stewardship of teaching the men in my household the dynamics of manhood, especially as it relates to womanhood. Here are the responsibilities: 1. Love her, we are to love as Christ loved the church, that means sacrifice. 2. Protect her, keep away “bad” things from those you love. 3. Support her, we make others feel valuable. 4. Learn from her, women are our “battle partners in life” and help us in our journey toward Christ-likeness!
Psalm 144:12 - May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown and our daughters be like pillars carved (polished) to adorn a palace.
Appreciate the role that women play in helping to shape the man that God intended for you to be! Men, how are you treating ALL the women in your life - mom, teachers, waitress, co-workers, boss, neighbor, friend…
Resources for young men:
Wild at Heart and Captivating by John Eldredge (and Stasi)
Raising Men by Eric Davis - lessons from Navy SEALS…
Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp
Bringing Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson
No More Excuses and Kingdom Men Rising by Dr. Tony Evans
The Intentional Father by Jon Tyson
Take-away - don’t just tell your kids how much you love them, SHOW them! Let all that you do be soaked in love.
Guest: Jaco Booyens
To find out more about Jaco Booyens and his efforts to battle against child sexual exploitation, check out his ministry website or personal website.
Raised by a single mom, Jaco found some “father figures” in sport - his coaches taught him some valuable life lessons…how to shave, mow lawns, etc.
Men, we all know that child sexual exploitation is awful, but there is a question that we need to ask ourselves - “Am I part of the problem?”
Guys need to have accountability - men who will hold you accountable to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Men, you may not be exploiting children, but you might be “feeding the beast.” If you’re looking at pornography, at any level, you are engaging in the exploitation of people
Sex trafficking is a symptom of a larger problem - the problem of self-centeredness.
Men were made to be “hunters” - what are we hunting for? Ideally he is supposed to hunt evil, injustice, find the outcast and underprivileged. Today, we see young men holding up a cell phone and recording an injustice - PUT THE PHONE DOWN and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
How do we move from being the guy who records evil to become the guy who protects others from evil?
Watchman/Warrior Project
Start with you - get real with yourself. Where have I contributed to either evil progressing in the world or doing battle against the darkness?!
Jaco - I promise the answer won’t come from your peers! You learn from the older, wiser men. Invest in your own life and careers - stop spending all your time focused on the lives of “famous” people who aren’t giving you a good example anyway!
Jaco - get rid of your “coping mechanisms” - the things that you run to when life is difficult that really don’t help you address the situation, just cover it up and prolong the pain.
Jaco - pay attention to this statistic - 88% of the guys in prison come from a fatherless environment. They don’t have a role model for a different lifestyle. We need men who are modeling the truth about what a true man looks like.
IF you want to be that man who steps up and steps out to be different, don’t expect that others will cheer you on and support you - if it’s the right thing to do, you need to do it regardless of the cost and the isolation!
IF you see the “Goliath” and know that he must be defeated, you’ll most likely be fighting alone. If you’re in the “crowd” and lots of people are doing what you’re doing, you’re most likely going the wrong way! The only thing that grows without work is weeds - in the garden and in your life.
Bezos, Gates, Zuckerberg, Musk - all good examples of succeeding against all odds - great for success in business, but not good examples for being successful in other aspects of life.
Jaco - walk the road that is lonely, it will be worth it. The crowd will come and support AFTER you cut off the head of the giant, not before.
Jaco - be the “rudder in the room.” It’s not a call out, it’s a call UP. Men, step UP to be the men that God has created and called you to be. Amen.
Guest: Gabe Boyd
Dating 201 - Both Gabe and I agree that the responsibility to pursue in a relationship generally falls on the guy. Let’s continue our examination of this…
Gabe: in the concept of pursuing a woman, marriage is not the “finish line.” As a man, you are always after her heart, learning more about her, taking the relationship deeper and growing in intimacy!
“Markers” in a relationship are important - birthdays, Valentine’s Day, anniversaries - but men should be intentional about growing the relationship “every” day of the year as well.
Remember that if a guy is “out-kicking his coverage” it might also imply that a girl is settling for less. Guys, if you’re looking to pursue and connect your life with a quality woman, you need to make sure you step up your life to not only meet her on that level of maturity, but also get to the point where you can lead her in your relationship.
Guys - pursue a woman well - be intentional about the time you spend together - this shows her that she is valuable and worthy of your time and attention. A woman who is an “after-thought” will soon be just that. And, your continued pursuit of that woman can and should continue throughout the year, and year after year. Guys, if you’re more concerned about lowering your golf score than you are about improving your relationship with your wife, you need to reevaluate your priorities.
Myths that Guys Believe:
- I’ll do whatever it takes to get her attention. If you need to do something “out of character” to get her attention, that will backfire on you - be confident in the man that you are and work to win the attention of a young lady with quality and significance. Remember your character is being revealed in your actions - Proverbs 20:11 says that even a child is known by his actions.
- Alcohol makes me a more desirable person - funnier, more charming, more confident. Wrong. If you believe that you’re a better version of yourself under the influence of alcohol, then what happens to a relationship with someone when you’re not under the influence - you’re boring, not charming, not confident? Don’t let the “best version” of yourself only be revealed because of the influence of alcohol! For many, the worst version of who they are is also revealed under the influence of alcohol.
- One for the girls…a bad relationship is better than no relationship. Nope. If you’re worth the wait, don’t settle for less than God’s best!
- Guys can treat girls the same way we treat our buddies! Nope. Girls are not guys with long hair who smell nice. Girls are different and should be treated differently than one of the boys! This takes some work for guys, but it’s worth it.
How should we “start” a relationship with a young woman?
- Look to serve others.
- Learn the art of conversation.
- Learn how to ask a good, thought-provoking question.
- Look to build a friendship before you even build a “relationship.”
- Learn how to treat all women with respect and value.
- Learn how to compliment a girl on something other than her appearance - her character, her abilities, etc.
Guys - don’t wait for a girl to pull you up to her standard, get busy and put in the work and effort to be the man that the woman you’re interested in needs to lead her and love her well.
Take-away: men, look to make everyone around you feel valuable and significant in the way that you treat them!
Guest: Gabe Boyd
Dating 101 - let’s start having a conversation about the role and responsibility of young men and young ladies as they are looking at dating. Should a young lady wait for a guy to call…or is it ok in today’s culture for a young lady to pursue (call/text) a guy for a date? Should a couple wait to have sex until marriage…or is that just an outdated religious restriction?
Great resource for helpful information, especially for dads raising daughters: Hooked: The Brain Science on How Casual Sex Affects Human Development by Dr. Joe McIlhaney and Freda McKissic Bush - you NEED to know this information about how our bodies (emotions and chemicals) work!
The follow up to Hooked is a book called Girls Uncovered: New Research on What America’s Sexual Culture Does to Young Women - another valuable resource for both parents and young women to understand!
Some research suggests that when sex is introduced into a relationship, the emotional “depth” for that relationship is set - meaning, that if a couple has sex on the first date (or whenever it is introduced), their relationship will not grow emotionally deeper beyond that time. Great concept to think about and argument for waiting until marriage before having sex.
“Friend zone” - great place to start, being friends! Good and healthy relationships more than likely actually grow out of good friendships!
Sexual experience - we need to experiment so that we can prepare for our future marriage relationship - is that a good argument? Would you buy a car without a test drive? Depends on the car - I’d drive a Rolls Royce without a test drive!!! How do you view the girl that you’re dating - is she a Rolls Royce…or a clunker?
Whose responsibility is it to set the boundaries for the physical relationship? Gabe and I both agree that this is the responsibility of the man in the relationship! And, we also agree that healthy boundaries are VITAL to a healthy relationship - we see the value of boundaries in so many other aspects of life - think about sports, for example, and the importance of boundaries on a field that help define what is “fair” and what is “out of bounds.” As a man, you need to set proper boundaries for your relationships.
SnapChat - “the medium is the message” concept applies here. IF the message is so unimportant and irrelevant that it’s going to disappear after a few seconds, that speaks to the quality of the message (and probably the relationship) itself. The depth of your communication is a great indicator of the depth of the relationship! Guys, learn to have a meaningful, significant, deep conversation with a girl. Guys, the time, energy, and effort you put into good communication with a young lady demonstrates her value to you.
Take-Away: evaluate your “communication” with others - does it convey the quality that I think of that other person?
Guest: Gabe Boyd
T4M Update:
- Training4Manhood is now officially a licensed non-profit 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organization - donations to help support the ongoing work, ministry, and education of T4M are tax deductible and greatly appreciated! Check out our T4M website for opportunities to support our organization!
- BLOG section of the website coming soon - articles, resources, other ways to connect!
- Ideas for a future episode of T4M? If you want us to talk/train about something in particular, email me at info@training4manhood.com
- Distribution of T4M - second highest audience outside the US - the folks in Botswana! While it may be “one of the most sparsely populated countries in the world” (Wikipedia) - the good people of Botswana are listening to T4M and we are very thankful for you and hope that what is being discussed is helping guys be the men that God has created them to be! If you’re one of our listeners in Botswana, we’d love to hear from you - again, email is info@training4manhood.com
- T4M podcasts are now available on GOOGLE Podcasts!!! If you listen to podcasts on Google, T4M is there!!!
- We are going to be releasing our QUARTERLY BOOK DISCUSSIONS soon - these will be coming out with a FRIDAY release date so our normal Monday T4M episodes and discussions will not be affected. We will announce the books that we’ll be reading and discussing soon so that you can read along with us!
Went with Mike Thornberry to hear Jordan Peterson on his current tour. Some very interesting and very well informed perspectives on life…appreciate his thoughtfulness and willingness to share and add to the great conversation of our culture.
Timeless principles of manhood - because God stands outside time, space, and culture, the principles from God’s Word have a universal application to all men everywhere at all times! The principles of what makes a man that are taken from Scripture are as valuable now as they were thousands of years ago when written!
What is the percentage of children who are being raised in a home without a father - without a man to train a man, without a man to model “manhood” both to the future generations of men and women?!
Older men, great men - are you looking to pass on your wisdom and experience to a younger man who wants to learn, grow, and mature?
What role do books play in this process? As mentioned above, we will be rolling out our Quarterly Book Discussions - we’ll read a book and then record our perspectives and thoughts on the book - a new book each quarter - and we’ll break down the book into four segments, four podcast discussions, to be released on Friday mornings along with our normal Monday T4M episodes.
John Wooden - first thing Coach Wooden started with - a T4M principle - the socks!!!
Take-away: Find a book about a GREAT MAN and learn more about what made them great!
Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court by John Wooden and Steve Jamison
Amazing Grace: William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery by Eric Metaxas
Guest: David Salas
Critical thinking begins with proper self-reflection and self-examination!
George MacDonald - “Foolish is the man, and there are many such men, who would rid himself of discomfort by setting the world right, by waging war on the evils around him, while he neglects that integral part of the world where lies his business, his first business, namely, his own character and conduct.”
1 Samuel 16:7 - But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as a man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Manhood - what our culture celebrates is more often the externals - appearance, wealth, accomplishments - but what God’s Word says is important for a man is that he has a heart that pursues the Lord.
Men are body, soul, and spirit - all three are important. Don’t just focus on one to the detriment of the others.
David - people don’t just “drift” toward holiness. Holiness is a climb, it’s uphill, it takes effort to get better! Thomas Watson wrote that the only thing that grows without effort is weeds! If you want to get better, it’s going to take effort - reflection - self-examination.
Dan - my birthday is the day of self-reflection - what are the things that we improved on this year, what are the areas where we can grow in the next year?
A “friend” is a person who can be honest with you and point out some “blind spots” to help you be the best version of yourself as possible! My spouse is my greatest advocate…and my greatest critic! Proverbs 18:22 says “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” A life-partner who can speak truth to you is a tremendously valuable asset to have! Nothing civilizes a man like a good marriage!
Critical Thinking/Self-Examination
- How will this attitude or action play itself out in five years?
- Who are you, what were you made for, what have you done with the gifts, abilities, talents, etc that you’ve been given?
- To whom are you comparing yourself to - other contemporaries, or other great men - or to the “best” version of yourself? Ernest Hemingway, “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.” What if the “cloud of witnesses” in Hebrews 12 include men and women that have walked a similar walk to yours in previous times - guys like you that have gone before you and passed you the baton of life?
When you read the Bible…the Bible reads you!
If you want to develop your critical thinking skills, you need to be a reader - a reader of books, people, and situations. Walk slowly, pay attention, think before you speak and when you open your mouth, add value to the conversation!
Take-away - who are the individuals who have gone before you - that you walk in their footsteps or stand on their proverbial shoulders - find them, learn from the example of their life and journey - and then realize that there are others who will follow in your footsteps years from now.
Guest: David Salas
Salas - didn’t have a father-figure - now reading Proverbs, the phrase, “My son” takes on new meaning and significance…
What’s the one role of a father? To point them to their heavenly Father. All the lesser things are important, but the greatest thing is to help them satisfy their greatest need - to know who they are as an image bearer of God.
Thomas Watson - great men are the mirror by which ordinary men dress themselves!
If you made a list of the “greatest men in history” - who would make that list? Would Jesus? That’s an interesting question!
Salas - Jesus really “mans like a man should man”!
Do we consider Jesus a “great man”? We should - here’s why we should recognize Jesus as THE GREATEST MAN:
- Meekness - strength under control - you never get the sense that Jesus was anything but in control
- Never sinned - only man to fully withstand temptation
- Elevated the status of women - traveled with him, financed his ministry, woman at the well (talked to her, first person he told that he was the Messiah), woman caught in adultery (went down to her level, raised her to his level)
- Teaching on marriage
- Incredible balance between courage and conviction, strength and surrender
- Came not to be served, but to serve
- Spoke truth to others
- Suffered joyfully
The Chosen - great series from Dallas Jenkins on the life and “manhood” of Jesus
A Woman Caught in Adultery - John 8:1-11
Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2 but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. 3 As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. 4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. 9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” 11 “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
IF you had to choose between your children being wealthy, healthy or walking in the truth - which would you select and what are you doing to train your children in that concept?
Take-away: spend some time examining the person and life of Jesus - read the Gospel letters of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John in the New Testament, and then, if you want to see a cinematic rendition of Jesus, watch The Chosen.
Guest: Pastor Jarrett Stephens
Champion Forest Baptist Church
Jarrett’s books:
The Mountains Are Calling: Making the Climb for a Clearer View of God and Ourselves
The Always God: He Hasn’t Changed and You Are Not Forgotten
Forgiveness:
- Learning how to ask for forgiveness when you’ve wronged someone
- Learning how to forgive when you’ve been wronged
Forgiveness does not mean that justice should not be pursued and served.
Forgiveness does not mean that you forget. Forgiveness does not mean that a relationship is restored.
Unforgiveness can lead to resentment and anger, it can become bitterness and a stronghold in a person’s life that keeps them from moving forward in life.
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant - Matthew 18:21-35
Can you forgive a person who doesn’t even ask for forgiveness, isn’t repentant, or doesn’t even acknowledge? Yes. Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Good resources:
- The Bait of Satan by John Bevere
- When People are BIG and God is small by Edward Welch
How to seek forgiveness from someone who you have wronged:
- Do it as quickly as possible. Confrontation is an opportunity for growth.
- Go to the individual in a spirit of humility.
- Apologize - be specific.
- Ask for forgiveness.
- Model Jesus. He is our ultimate example.
Guest: Pastor Jarrett Stephens
Champion Forest Baptist Church
Jarrett’s books:
The Mountains Are Calling: Making the Climb for a Clearer View of God and Ourselves
The Always God: He Hasn’t Changed and You Are Not Forgotten
Why should a man go to church?
First, don’t discount the person and message of Jesus Christ because of something that happened to you or something you’ve seen or heard from those who are followers (real or self-proclaimed) of Jesus.
Second, the church is one of the only places (ecosystem, if you will) that you’ll find humility, authenticity, and people who truly want the best for your life. The church is one of the only places that celebrates “servant-leadership” and not “self-centeredness.”
Third, the church is the epitome of diversity - in today’s world where “diversity” is celebrated and pursued, the church really is the fulfillment of unity through diversity - all walks of life, all ages, all cultures, colors, skills, abilities - all part of the body of Christ!
What should I look for in a church?
First, start with the core components evident in the Book of Acts. Biblical teaching - have to have an authoritative source. The church should point people to the person of Jesus. The church should be Scripture filled, Jesus centered, Holy Spirit inspired.
Second, look for a Biblical community, a place where your family can get plugged into, etc.
Third, things that give you pause. Jarrett - “blessed are the balanced.” Look out for an imbalance that focuses too much time and energy toward one component to the detriment of others. Try to find a church that’s “balanced.”
Recent study - 90% of men say they have never heard a sermon that related to work.
Jarrett - men, at some point, we have to learn to be “self-feeders.” You can’t just settle for someone else opening up and teaching from the Word - YOU need to dig in and see what the Word has for you. Train yourself for godliness. Men are passionate about things that are important to them - are you passionate about your spiritual life and growth?
Recent study - if the husband/father of the family goes to church, the family is 90% more likely to attend. Men, your example leads your family spiritually - either for the good or for the bad! Jarrett - as a dad, it’s my responsibility to put my family in a positive place for their growth and development.
Take-away: Find a good church. Don’t sit in the stands of life, get in the game. You get out of something what you put into it.
Guest: Ricky Chelette
Living Hope Ministries - livehope.org
For Valentine’s Day - no better topic than “sexuality”!!!
“Sexual Brokenness” - what is it, what to do about it?
Scripture tells us that we are all born into sin, all “broken” or “bent” away from God’s design in so many different ways! If our desires do not match up with God’s design, we have to subject our personal desires to God’s design if we want to be happy and holy!
Ricky - what do you believe about who you are and how you got here? Do you believe that you are only a group of cells brought together by random chance or an accident - or do you believe that you are a created, designed being - and that there is a Creator/Designer of all existence?
Men and women are both created by God and have different roles and responsibilities - not less than or greater than, but different. To choose to not follow God’s design is to invite death, decay, and distance into your life and relationships.
How do I move from broken to better? Wrong question - we don’t move from broken to better by “doing.” We move from broken to better by “being.” The ultimate question really is: Who am I? When we know who we truly are and act in accordance with that true nature, we walk in authenticity to God’s design and protection.
Ricky - if you had a sister and she was going to marry a guy - who do you want that guy to be? That’s the guy that you ultimately know YOU need to be!
Ok - I get it, I see who I want to be - now what?
Ricky - you have to be:
- a “man of the Word” - that’s how God communicates to us, through His Word - to know how to do life well, you need to know the framework and narrative of God’s design and desires for our lives
- a person of integrity - the same person by myself, with a crowd, with a girl, at work, at play, etc…
It all starts with knowing God and knowing who He has created you to be.
Start with God’s Word. There is no alternative game plan.
Ricky - sex really isn’t about sex. It’s generally about connection, relationship, control, intimacy, power, etc. When you pursue “sex” as a act, you end up tired, frustrated, and empty. Be careful that if you pursue the fulfillment of your “sexual appetite,” you won’t fulfill what you really want!
Take-away: sexuality isn’t about doing, it’s about being. What kind of person do you want to be? You need to answer this question first.
Guest: Gabe Boyd
What’s your decision-making process? Why do you do what you do? What do you value?
- My own personal comfort
- What others think about me
- Status symbol
- Gas mileage, cost
- Something useful for others
Key concepts to consider:
- Stewardship - affordability, best use of resources, etc..
- What is the vehicle used for - you, others, etc…?
- How do you treat the vehicle - better than you do people?
The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch - WATCH this video of Professor Randy Pausch as he shares some great life principles that he gives as his “last lecture.” Or READ the book - almost as good as the video.
The car you drive tells me something about what you VALUE. What questions are you asking in determining what car you drive - and how are you answering those questions?!
Question: can a “man” drive a minivan? YES! Stewardship is also part of the equation. Don’t let your pride determine the car that you drive.
Question: if money is “no object” what car do I drive then? The car still tells others what you value - and it models for your kids what is important as well. And, money is ALWAYS an object because you always have to make a priority judgment about where you’re spending what God has given you - stewardship is important no matter how much money you make.
This episode is NOT about the car. We make about 35,000 decisions every day. HOW are you making these decisions, what is the anchor that ground you, what is the rudder that guides you?
Question: if Jesus were living in your city today, doing your job, having your family, what car would He drive?
Take-away: Evaluate your decision-making process - what do my decisions say about me?
Guest: Gabe Boyd
True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity, before it is entitled to the appellation. George Washington
There can be a difference between a “friend” and a co-worker, teammate, classmate, neighbor, even a family member.
“Friend” gets thrown around so casually - “Facebook friends” are not truly friends. How many “friends” do you really have?
What does it mean for a person to be a friend?
- Someone who seeks or has your best interest at heart
- Someone who is willing to undergo adversity or conflict with or for you
- Someone you can trust, count on, rely on
- Would you add anything else to the list?
God made men to be relational. You’re not supposed to or created to do life alone.
The Bible speaks about friendship. Loyalty is an important aspect of friendship. A friend is a person who is consistently walking through life with you. Examine the friendship of David and Jonathan - great study of God’s Word on this subject.
Inhibitors to true friendship - pride, isolation, self-centeredness.
Proverbs 18:24 - A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
A friend doesn’t always tell you “what you want to hear.” A friend will speak truth, even when it might hurt. A friend is someone who has earned the right to tell you what you need to hear.
How do I develop good friendships?
- Prioritizing quality friendships - shoulder-to-shoulder activities. There are face-to-face activities, talking. There are also shoulder-to-shoulder activities - hunting, fishing, building a home, going to a game, whatever - not just doing the activity, but using the experience to build a relationship.
- Be a friend first. Go be a friend to a person and be counted as a friend for another person, then look for those who are friends to you. Friendship is not always a two-way street - you might be a friend to someone who is not a friend to you and vice versa. Start by being a friend - that’s something you can control.
Proverbs 19:4 - Wealth makes many friends, but the poor is separated from his friend.
Are the people around you truly friends or people who just want something from you.
Game Plan - go be a friend to someone this week.
Guest: Gabe Boyd
Men shouldn’t be oblivious, they need to be observant, aware of their surroundings, their position in the world - you are not the center of the universe and everyone else is just revolving around you!!!
Maturity - children see themselves at the center of life, they are “me-centered” - when is that supposed to change, when are we supposed to mature to an “other-centered” world (or even better, a “God-centered” world) where we play an important role in a story that is much larger than ourselves.
Psalm 144:12 - how do you know when God has blessed a nation? David says that your boys will be like well-nurtured plants and your girls will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace. Your young boys will begin to mature - bear fruit - not be a wild, untamed plant that just runs wild. David never said “no” to Adonijah - and Adonijah turned out to be spoiled!
Maturity from boyhood to manhood - walking into a room and having the ability to see a need before you are asked. Boys look for things that affect them, men look for things that affect others.
Do you look for ways to put others first? Do you look for ways to serve others? Are you proactive about making opportunities?
The answer is always “yes.” What’s the question?
Psalm 125 - children are described as arrows in the hands of a warrior. A warrior first shapes those arrows. Men “speak” things into existence, we call things by their name. A warrior next sharpens those arrows. People around us should be better because of our presence. A warrior finally shoots out those arrows into the world. So many young men do not have a “warrior” to shape, sharpen, and then send them out into the world!
Observant - where are the young men around me that need to be trained, discipled, mentored by my life experience, the wisdom God’s given me. The world is better when men act like men - it’s better for society as a whole. How can you help in this process?
Men walk into a room slowly - look around, assess the situation, be aware, pay attention, then engage in action to make the situation better. Self-assessment: how do others feel about you when you walk into a room?
Statistic: more than 20 million children live in a home without the physical presence of a father. One in three American children are growing up in a home without their biological father.
Men, pay attention to this reality - look for opportunities to invest in the lives of younger guys who need an older man to provide wisdom and guidance.
Connect with me at info@training4manhood.com
Guest: Bryce Hopson
One of the most important decisions a man will ever make (besides the faith commitment to follow Christ) is the connection of your life with another human being - finding a great spouse to journey through life together is such an important decision - join my friend Bryce Hopson as we talk through this decision - how to make it, what it means, how to navigate the world’s perspective on marriage - all important things for every man to consider and contemplate.
Bryce - importance of “burning the ships” - a reference to the story of Hernan Cortes burning the ships as he and his men arrived in the New World making the point that there was no “going back” - they were either going to be successful in this new land or they were going to die trying! Bryce suggests that each person adopt this mindset going into the marriage union - the idea that divorce isn’t an option will help each individual have to work through some difficult seasons of marriage and life.
Bryce - if you keep a “piece” of yourself separate from your spouse, that piece becomes something different - and can grow into a major problem in your marriage
Bryce - importance of “real communication” - and don’t buy into the idea that marriage counseling isn’t going to help - if you need help, get help!
Good resources:
Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
Marriage by Paul David Tripp
Podchaser: F3UPtUuXfOnHl1lAmvm6
Guest: Bryce Hopson
Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce by Elizabeth Marquardt
What about the idea of “sticking together for the sake of the children” - read Between Two Worlds and at least consider the realities that divorce has on the lives of children - which is different than the impact on the lives of the husband and wife.
Bryce Hopson’s Three Points to Address:
- Pride - pride is the only poison that is good for you when swallowed. Pride is a killer of relationships and commitment. Sin blinds us to the truth that we need to address.
- Truth - so important to build good community, individuals who are able to speak truth and point out your “blind spots.” Constructive criticism is vital for your journey - people who are able to point out areas that need attention and improvement. Get plugged in to a good church - look for an older, godly, spiritually-mature man to mentor/disciple you.
- Patience - change happens, you need to work to weather the storms of life - there will be times of trial and seasons of calm - your “marriage should outlast your love” - don’t let feelings be your guide rails in life - let truth be your guide! Having trouble - get counseling to help you address various issues in your life and relationships.
Guest: Fred Villa - RE/MAX real estate agent
Good books can be used for education, instruction, inspiration, etc…
What’s your goal for reading for 2022?
One book a month = 12/year
Reading and listening to a book are both acceptable ways of digesting books. I will often listen to longer fiction books, like Anna Karenina - great way to digest the longer stories that you want to read. I will use Audible.com and I’ll also get CDs or Playaways from my local public library and listen to those.
Books mentioned:
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
Bonhoeffer by Eric Metaxas
Soldier, Statesman, Peacemaker: Leadership Lessons from George C. Marshall by Jack Uldrich
What’s So Amazing About Grace, The Bible Jesus Read, The Jesus I Never Knew, Church Why Bother, Prayer - all by Phillip Yancey
Christianity for People Who Aren’t Christians by James Emery White (read most of this books)
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Joel Rosenberg books
The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien
Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather
Divine Conspiracy and Life without Lack by Dallas Willard
The Humiliation of the Word by Jacques Ellul
Great place to find books:
Half Price Books
Christianbook.com
Monergism.com
Categories to select books from to diversify your reading:
- Biblical Literacy - not just reading your Bible, but resources that help you understand God’s Word even more
- Cultural Awareness - how to think critically about issues of our day
- Family & Relationships - looking to be a better husband, father, son, etc…
- Spiritual Disciplines - the practice of your faith (your orthopraxy)
- Passion & Devotion - biographies, books that inspire and encourage
If you’re looking for some book recommendations, email me at info@training4manhood.com and I’d be glad to send along some ideas.
Dallas Christian College - Fred Villa history course
If men are to be the leaders of their family and their community, then having a vested interest in the community is important - owning a home is a vital piece of the puzzle toward responsibility.
Fred Villa - RE/MAX real estate agent
What is the “right” home?
Lending Agent is going to be looking at:
- Income
- Debt
- Cash on hand
- Credit scores
Finding the “right” home includes considerations like…
- Finding the right price point (what can you afford?)
- Location, location, location (where do you want to be - city, rural, schools, family, job, neighborhood, etc)
- What type/size house feels right to you?
- What amenities do you have to have - pool, square footage, number of bedrooms, one story or two, etc…)
How can you improve your credit score?
- Start by establishing solid credit - finance a few things and make sure you pay off your bills!
- Couple of years to repair bad credit - talk to a solid lender to see what they’re looking at…
Home ownership = “building equity”
Why would you buy a home…when would you buy a home?
- See if you’re in the right place - are you wanting to stay there for a while?
- Take some time to see where you want to be in that community
- Remember that if you’re renting, you’re not going to want to spend money improving a home and making it “yours” - you may not have the right to make significant changes and you won’t be able to recoup those expenses when you leave
- Make a financial plan to save enough money to purchase a home
- Home ownership gives you an opportunity to make connections with people, neighbors - building community, investing not just in yourself, but in the well-being of others!
Do I need a real estate agent?
- A real estate agent will help you understand the market from an objective point of view, can pull comps (comparable selling prices to consider)
- A real estate agent will help you understand the value of certain expenditures - where should you invest in your home, will you get some of that money back if and when you sell?
- Buyers - do not pay a real estate agent! Seller agrees to pay a commission between a selling and a buying agent.
- A real estate agent has great connections to inspectors, repair companies and individuals, etc.
What are the “red flags” that you should pay attention to when purchasing a home?
- Homes that back up to RR tracks, power lines, major highways, etc. - things that you can’t change and 80% of the people are bothered by these things
- Look at the home, location, traffic at different times, different days…
- Consider the homes around - are the neighbors keeping up their properties?
20% down rule? No, not everyone needs to have 20% down!
Understand the difference between a “buyers” market and a “sellers” market.
Interest rates affect the amount of home you can purchase with the same amount of money! Better credit will get you better interest rates!
Ready to buy a home - DON’T call the person’s name on the “For Sale” sign - their interest is in selling the home, not helping you buy the home!
Unleashing Peace: Experiencing God’s Shalom in Your Pursuit of Happiness
Dr. Jeremiah Johnston
Yes, MEN struggle with anxiety and depression, too!
Isolation is the worst form of punishment - are you disconnected from a vibrant, real, faith-building community? Guys, we need to take the time and make the effort to develop strong relationships with others.
STRESS kills people - it poisons your body! There is a world-wide focus on the “mental health crisis” - 51% increase of actual hospitalization because of suicidal inclinations last year! Do not ignore your mental health!
48% of men will have a challenge with mental health some time in their lives.
Peace happens through an action verb: thinking. We need to get our minds right, our thoughts placed on things that help us, build us up, equip us to be the men we desire to be!
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Learning to apologize “correctly” - means first saying what you’re sorry for….then actually asking for forgiveness.
Immediate Steps to Care for Your Body and Mind
- Get enough sleep
- Have daily fitness time
- Work on daily stress management
- Be intentional about what you put into your body
- Maintain a healthy weight
First 5 people to email me the name of Jeremiah’s wife at info@training4manhood.com will receive a free copy of Dr. Johnston’s book!
A boy knows enough to think he’s right; a man knows enough to realize he might be wrong.
I’m going to be teachable enough to learn.
Remember the guy on your team that was “coachable” - that’s the same concept.
Are you afraid of showing “weakness” that you don’t know everything - that’s simply your pride talking…don’t listen to that voice!
Think about some of the great coaches you’ve had in life - why were you able to listen to them when you were younger, but you find it difficult to listen to “coaches” now in life?
Coaches - what if we evaluated coaches based on the number of great men they produced, not the number of championships they’ve won? In some regard, we look at the “coaching tree” of great coaches - but what about the players they’ve “produced” - what kind of men are they not merely on the court/field, but also in life?
Matthew 10:24 - a student will not be above his teacher.
What “teachers” do you need to have in your life to be successful? Depends on what you’re trying to accomplish!
Where do you find great “life coaches/teachers”?
- Great books. Consider the wisdom of men who have walked the good walk before your time.
- Godly men. Pray for the Lord to open your eyes to great men to model the way for you.
Thomas Watson - great men are the mirrors by which ordinary men dress themselves.
What “great men” are you watching, learning from, modeling your life after?
We must lead wherever you are deployed. Look around you. If you’re a godly man, look for those younger than you to lead and guide. If you’re looking for a godly man to mentor and disciple you, are you making time and putting yourself in the right position to find those men?
Men are teachable. But they need to have a teacher. Jesus is not only the greatest man, He was the greatest teacher. His disciples called him Rabbi - which means “teacher.”
Plan to Succeed
- What books will you read this next year? (if you need book recommendations, email me at info@training4manhood.com)
- What movies can you watch to teach valuable life lessons?
- What activities can you engage in to redeem your time?
- How can you best use times like “family dinner” and make the most of those opportunities?
Parents - Issue: sending your son to be trained by others (think summer camp). Problem: boys are not willing to work and can’t be told what to do. If you’re not training your boys at home, don’t expect others to be able to train them either!
If you don’t learn valuable life lessons when you’re young…when will you learn them?
Take-away - who is in your “coaching tree”? Where are the men who are teaching you - and who are the younger men that you’re teaching? What resources are you using to learn valuable life lessons?
We should be men who are engaged in not just making ourselves better, but making others and our community better as well.
Men should not be hiding behind our phones (or whatever) watching people - we need to engage, take a step to make a difference, insert ourselves into a situation to make it better!
Men have to reject the apathy of inaction. We have to be intentional.
West Point’s Four Appropriate Responses:
- Yes sir.
- No sir.
- No excuse sir.
- Sir, I do not understand.
Default setting for most people - it’s not my responsibility. As a man, YOU have ownership and responsibility - whether you take it or not. Men, you need to step up and TAKE IT.
Whose fault is it? Mine.
GK Chesterton. What’s wrong with the world? I am. Personal responsibility - I can take action, do something - stop worrying about what others aren’t doing, YOU do something to make the situation better. Manhood isn’t about being a spectator - it’s about being on the field, in the arena!
Theodore Roosevelt - “Man in the Arena” - It’s not the critic that counts....
West Point - “In absence of further orders, attack.” Don’t sit there and wait...do something!
IF something is wrong - and I see it - I own it, I take action.
Broken window theory - if there’s a broken window, it gives the impression that things aren’t being taken care of. Take away - look for the small things to address and make sure you keep up with the little things because they send a message about the whole.
New York - Mayor Rudy Giuliani - took all the graffiti off all the subway trains…what “small” things do you need to pay attention to which address the larger concepts in your life?
I need you to do this. Why? Why do we do what we do - “at whose pleasure am I serving?” We need to be men of action because we’ve been called to do great and mighty things. Our why is love - and action springs from love.
You’re going to have to sacrifice. Action will cost you either your preference or your pride.
Important to count the cost - what are you willing to pay to do the action that you should be doing - there are things that men NEED to do that actually cost you to do them - valuable things always come at a cost!
Cost/Benefit Analysis - what ARE you providing for your family? Is material success, at the cost of time invested in your family, worth it?
The “fuel” that you get from personal achievement runs out - the “fuel” you get from a life worth living, the “examined” life devoted to something greater than yourself...that fuel will sustain you.
Mike Thornberry - “Everyone wants to follow Christ until He actually tells you where He wants you to go.”
Action Plan - STOP, count the cost of the path you’re on - if you achieve everything that you want to achieve, what will the cost be to get to where you want to be? What if you could only achieve your top priority...what would that be?
Men should be men of action...but what does that mean?
Mike Thornberry - West Point grad, 1996 US Olympic men’s handball team
How does God “fine tune” our lives? Puts us in community - Proverbs 27:17 - “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” How does iron “sharpen” iron - by clashing against each other - conflict...you need to have men around you that you can smash your ideas against to see what is true and right and good…
When you say something to your children...that God is wanting to say to you - check out Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp...convicting to the core!
“Mission” - the WHY of what I’m doing…your actions reveal your mission. What do your actions reveal about your mission - are you driven by self-pleasure and self-glorification or do you have a higher, better, more meaningful mission for your life?
Do you look at the END to determine the path that you choose in life? What do you want said at your funeral - by your wife, your children, your business partners/coworkers, your neighbors, etc.?
How do I determine what my “mission” is?
- Is what you’re doing temporal or eternal?
- The “Nathan Hale test” - “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” Does what you’re doing meet the requirement that you’d be willing to die for it?
These are pretty steep concepts - but it helps you evaluate the actions that you take in light of something larger than yourself. Are you consumed by personal pleasure and temporary satisfaction or are you interested and invested in living a larger story with the days you’ve been given?
Accountability - so important to surround yourself with men who will hold you accountable to the standard of the type of man that you say you want to be. Do you have men in your life who are willing and able to speak truth into your life - even if, and especially when, that truth hurts?!
Importance of team sports - surrounded by a group of men who won’t let you settle for less than your best - why do we do this when we’re young, but remove ourselves from community when we get older?
Japanese art form that puts pieces of broken pottery back together with gold - making the broken pottery more valuable and precious after it’s been broken and repaired, usually seen as a metaphor for embracing your brokenness and what Christ can do to redeem and restore what was once broken and discarded - is called Kintsugi.
Action Item - where can you find an older man to mentor you - church! Yes, men, you need to be involved in a good church where you can find older, wiser men to mentor you in life.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 - Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
November is National Adoption Month. You’ll want to listen and engage with this incredible conversation with Tim and Kati Matthews and prayerfully consider what you can do to help those who are without meaningful parental influence. Our church has a special program to highlight the need and opportunity for those considering foster care and adoption called CHOSEN (Christ’s Hope for Orphans - Supporting, Embracing, Nurturing) - and you can look for something similar in your community as well. There are so many things you can do to help those young boys (and girls) who are growing up without parents to love, nurture, and provide for them - if fostering or adopting a child into your family at this time isn’t an option, financially supporting someone who is doing this incredible work would be a great place to start.
As you listen to Tim’s story - of a young man growing up without a father-figure and then God turning his life around so that Tim is now not only able to lead his wonderful family, but also adopt a young boy who probably would have been in a similar situation without a father - that’s a great T4M story! Of course, the adoption story that everyone can have - of being adopted into the family of God by faith, through grace, and the redemptive work of Jesus on the cross - paying the price for our sins and clothing us in His righteousness - that’s the greatest adoption story EVER - and if you have never asked God to make you His son, through the forgiveness of your sins, that’s the first step toward truly being the man that God intended! Thomas Watson wrote in The Godly Man’s Picture, “When the Lord pardons a sinner, he does not pay a debt, but gives a legacy.” There is more to surrendering your life to Christ than the forgiveness of sin - much, much more - the life that God offers, according to John 10:10, is the “abundant life” - filled with the presence and power of God!
The action step from this episode was to first prayerfully consider fostering and/or adopting a child. The second was to be intentional about being in a mentoring/discipleship relationship - for a man to have an older man to speak truth and provide wisdom on his journey, and then for that man to turn and pass that along to a younger man - Tim reminded us that this isn’t an option, but a commandment found in Titus 2:2 - and you need to be obedient in this endeavor. It takes a man...to make a man...let's get busy about doing this important work!
Recorded at Sky Ranch - incredible student and family camps in Texas, Oklahoma, and Colorado!
This is a conversation with two good friends - Jared Wood and Chase Hilbert. Jared is the lead man in the band playing at Sky Ranch - he's a professional musician leading worship across the country - check out his music at JaredWoodMusic.com. Jared's music is the intro/outro for T4M.
How to get an honest and helpful life assessment if all you have around you are peers at the same life stage that you’re in?
Raise the bar. Compare yourself to God’s Word as the ultimate standard for your life. Also, start to walk with some older men who can speak truth into your life.
94% of men will never read another book from cover to cover after finishing their formal education. That is a ridiculous statistic - and one that we are going to change - guys, here are some reading suggestions - you need to set a goal to read at least one book each month - that’s 12 books a year. Start with one of these - email me at info@training4manhood.com for more recommendations!
Thoughts for Young Men by JC Ryle
The Godly Man’s Picture by Thomas Watson
A Mind for God by James Emery White
Serious Times by James Emery White
In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson
Play the Man by Mark Batterson
If you want to get better at anything, you have to start somewhere...and work to improve, put into practice a set of principles that work toward your improvement. Remember, I often say, “The only thing that grows without work is weeds.” Improving as a man takes effort - deliberate and intentional effort.
My Life Verse is Jeremiah 12:5 - if you’ve raced with men and they’ve tired you out, how can you compete with the horses - if you’ve stumbled in the safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?
Do you have a Life Verse? How can you find a verse in Scripture that speaks to you? First, you need to be a Christian - the Word of God is written to those who are surrendered and open to God’s direction. Second, you need to spend time in Scripture - and as you read the Word, the Word reads you! Look for a verse that really speaks to you - not just a verse that you want to speak to you (for example, Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” - for many, that’s more of a verse about what YOU can do, not what God is looking to do in you and through you) - so keep reading until you find something that really speaks to your heart.
Jared - I used to think, “Therapy is weakness.” That was pride. You need community to do life well. You need to surrender the idea that you know everything and don’t need help - we ALL need help, guidance, and challenge from others! A man needs other men to call him UP to a higher standard!
Chase - know thyself! You need to be honest with yourself. When you isolate yourself from others, it’s usually because you don’t want honest community around you!
TAKE-AWAY - buy a book, read a book (finish it) - look, you’re already making an improvement and an investment into a better you!!!
Following the first conversation with Jacob Browning, this episode tackles the idea of men and abuse head on and challenges the narrative that all men are violent abusers. From the book The Boy Crisis by Dr. Warren Farrell (not a recommendation), a poem expresses the concept that men are “attackers” and both Jacob and Dan challenge that assessment and put the responsibility back on each individual to make choices to be men who are protectors and providers of others, not abusers.
Jacob takes the listener to 1 Peter 3:7 which reads, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (ESV). The biblical standard of a man (especially a husband) is one who takes time to understand and appreciate his wife and cherishes her as a valuable part of his life and ministry - knowing that the Lord looks to protect His children.
Dan brought in the idea that physical abuse is not the only abuse that some face - there is also emotional and verbal abuse as well. Some have misapplied the writing of Paul in Ephesians 5:22, which states, “Wives, submit to your own husbands” (ESV) and sought to use the verse as a stick to force women into submission instead of taking their focus down three more verses to Ephesians 5:25 which calls men to the high standard described, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (ESV).
Practically speaking, men wanting to see the example of what true masculinity looks like need to examine the life of Jesus Himself - as written in Scripture. Dan suggested that men ought to watch the physical depiction of these Biblical narratives brought to life in the show called The Chosen - which is an incredible television drama created, written, and directed by Dallas Jenkins (download and watch on The Chosen app). In addition, check out some great books that raise the standard of what it means to be a man - here are a few suggestions:
A Man of God by Jack Graham
The Godly Man’s Picture by Thomas Watson
Play the Man by Mark Batterson
Point Man, Finishing Strong, King Me by Steve Farrar
Children are like arrows in the hands of a warrior, not arrows in the hands of a wimp. Men aren’t wimps. But, what does that mean true masculinity is - a strong, rough and tumble man? Listen and learn from the personal experience of Jacob Browning who grew up in a home where physical abuse was present - how did Jacob respond and what steps did he take to make sure that he didn’t pass along those abusive traits to his family?
What life lessons does physical abuse teach children? Jacob shares how he was taught that men dominate a situation and others and that men should use physical force to exert themselves and get their way. What about the Biblical stories of when God uses force to restrain evil - when is the use of force allowed and helpful? Jacob has a powerful testimony of God's grace and transforming power in his life!
Listen to an important conversation with MY state legislator and good friend Matt Shaheen as we discuss all things "politics" - WAIT, don't ignore this episode - it's vital for men to be leaders in their communities and being active, informed and engaged in the political arena is one opportunity for your voice to be heard on issues that affect not only your family (and your pocketbook), but also affect your community and the lives, businesses, and families of those around you. Listen, learn, lean into this conversation - then go out and be involved as a man "at the city gates."
Step 1 Register to Vote - check out Vote.gov or visit the Secretary of State's website in your home state.
Step 2 Get to know the issues - check out the "party platforms" of both major political parties. Republican and Democrat
Step 3 Compare your values and principles to the "party platforms" and assess which principles you want to advance with your vote.
What He Must Be...If He Wants to Marry My Daughter
Voddie Baucham, Jr.
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Must be a Christian
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Must be committed to Biblical headship
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Must be a suitable Priest
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Spiritual life of a person comes FIRST
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Priest is the chief servant for his community
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Must be a suitable Prophet
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Man must be able to speak truth (and be discerning to know truth)
- Psalm 1
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers.
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Must be a suitable Protector
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Spiritually
- Emotionally
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Physically
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Must be a suitable Provider
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Spiritually
- Emotionally
- Physically
Learning to serve others starts when you’re young and starts with the “small things.”
What should a man be to "qualify" to marry a wonderful young woman - for the next two weeks, listen as Dan Panetti talks with his brother-in-law Rob Snyder about this concept - Rob is the father of three girls - one who is married, one who is engaged, and one who is dating - so Rob can speak to all aspects - but before all those things can happen, understand that the principles of manhood should begin at a much younger age! Dan and Rob talk about what those principles look like so that a young man can meet and marry an incredible woman!
Why is it important for a man to speak truth? Is exaggerating really all that bad? What about your intentions - aren't they important? And what does it mean to "speak the truth in love" - something that you might have heard, but don't understand. Men have a unique role of speaking life into a situation - and this can be both positive and negative - learn how to use your words to build up others and make a positive impact in the lives of those around you.
The idea that men speak truth, serve others, love deeply and endure joyfully are all grounded in the concept that men have an authority in their life which guides them, instructs them, teaches them what it means to be a man - and that authority is God Himself. Time with God, in His Word, is essential for the training of a man - just like time in gym is essential for the athlete, a man must do the hard work of learning from the Author and Perfecter, the Creator of life - God.
How do you handle adversity? Men “endure joyfully” - meaning that you make the best of a situation, regardless of whether it’s your fault or someone else’s - you don’t allow the pressure of the situation to change you - remember the "principle of the toothpaste" - when there’s pressure applied, what’s inside will come out! What comes out of you when you are under pressure? Hopefully the character which is revealed in tough times is attractive, positive, beneficial, and respectful!
What will others say about you at your funeral - not thinking about that now, well you should be! What you love will drive your passions and influence your actions - it will be obvious to all - and a day will come when others are reflecting on the man that you were by talking about the things that you loved - what will they say about you?
This is the second week of examining some key concepts of what it means to be a man - Men speak truth, serve others, love deeply, endure joyfully, and humbly walk with the Lord. What does it mean to "serve" others - it takes eyes to see the needs of others, a humility to be willing to do what needs to be done, and then a commitment to serve them even if it costs you! Remember, a prideful life is a lonely life - serving others makes connections and builds vital community that you can't, and shouldn't, live without!
The only thing that grows without work is weeds! To grow into manhood takes work, effort, intentionality! Our guest this week is Gabe Boyd who shares a motto for manhood that he created working with middle school boys - "Men speak truth, serve others, love deeply, endure joyfully, and humbly walk with the Lord." What is your motto for manhood?
Peter Pan - subtitled "the boy who wouldn't grow up," makes for a fun story, but boys who don't mature into men make for lousy husbands and fathers - but why are so many males not men?
Two general concepts:
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Not all males will be men. Manhood is a set of principles, not a particular age or activity that one does.
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To truly be a "man" you must be under the authority of God. To have a proper understand of who you are, you need to know the author, the designer, of life.