Through A Glass Darkly: Recent Episodes
Matt Escott
Through a Glass Darkly highlights the stories of people who are, or at one time were, following Jesus while also living with a mental illness. Hosted by Matt Escott, Through a Glass Darkly will explore the many ways, both good and bad, that mental illness impacts how people understand and live out their faith, as well as discussing the interplay between faith, mental illness, and the stuff of everyday life like parenting, marriage, community, and vocation, to name only a few.
On today's episode I speak with John-Mark about the absence of joy and the desire to escape, how caring for others made it hard for him to see his own needs, the shift from caring for others to being cared for, and why the pursuit of joy has been central to his recovery.
On today’s episode I talk with Tanja, an outreach nurse and pastoral director at Sanctuary Toronto, a welcoming community where people who are poor and excluded are particularly valued. We cover a lot of topics, everything from universalism, the constant process of letting go of privilege, and the growing awareness of the link between trauma and mental illness, to how God’s faithfulness transforms people, why “let your kingdom come” and “Lord have mercy” are her most common prayers, and how the miraculous and life’s messiness co-exist.
Warning: This episode contains swearing and touches on trauma, violence, sexual violence, and drug use.
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please write to podcastdarkly21@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you!
On today's episode I continue my conversation with Mark (and if you haven't listened to part 1 I would highly recommend it!). Mark and I talk about trying to change his sexuality and live up to a very narrow definition of masculinity, a time when suicide seemed like a hopeful option, overwhelming shame and the ways he dealt with it, and the shock of discovering God saw and fully loved him.
Trigger warning: In this episode we talk about suicide and sex.
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please write to podcastdarkly21@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you!
Today's episode is Part 1 of a 2 part discussion with Mark, a chaplain in the Canadian military and also my best friend. In Part 1 we talk about everything from religious expectation and anxiety, conversion therapy and the belief that sexuality is a choice, wrestling with God and holding on to hope, and how the liturgy help him to re-engage with his body.
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please write to podcastdarkly21@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you!
In this episode I talk with Marianne, a registered psychotherapist, about her work with youth, the short comings in our mental health system, how faith communities can support people and families living with a mental illness, what choice looks like for someone who is struggling, and what she has learned about God through it all.
Trigger warning: In this episode we talk about suicide.
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please write to podcastdarkly21@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you!
On this first episode of Season 2, the tables are turned! I sit down with my good friend Bianca, but I'm the one answering the questions. We talk about anxiety, miraculous conversions, religious OCD, aggressive evangelism, and why I prefer hymns (it's not just because I'm getting old).
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please write to podcastdarkly21@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you!
Today's episode is part 2 of my conversation with my sister, Natasha, and is the final episode of the season! In this episode we talk about the drive to control her body and how that connected with the development of an eating disorder, the hope and anxiety of recovery, learning to be OK with being uncomfortable sometimes, and what faith might look like now.
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please write to podcastdarkly21@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you!
On today's episode I talk with my sister, Natasha, about experiencing severe anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder from an early age, how that connected with a fear of hell, what, exactly, does it mean to "invite Jesus into your heart," and how she felt the closest to God only after leaving Christian school. And, as a bonus, you'll hear my conversion story!
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please write to podcastdarkly21@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you!
Today's episode is part 2 of my conversation with Ryan, where we talk about how an acquired brain injury has impacted his life, how treating his PTSD ended up being a key part of his recovery, and learning how to show himself as much compassion as he extends to others.
Today's episode is the first part of a 2 part conversation with Ryan, a Registered Psychotherapist working at the Limestone Clinic in Kingston, Ontario. In this episode we talk about his longing for community in the midst of a mental health crisis, answering the general "how are you?" question honestly, youth addiction and generational trauma, and what it was like starting a support group in his church for people living with mental health challenges.
On today's episode I talk with Craig, a Registered Psychotherapist in the adult outpatient mental health program at Mississauga Hospital. We talk about hellfire and brimstone preaching and the enduring anxiety it has caused, grieving the death of his father, how addiction is often a reasonable response to suffering, and how attachment theory can connect with Christian theology.
Warning: This episode contains a few swear words.
Questons? Comments? Suggestions? Please write to podcastdarkly21@hotmail.com. I'd love to hear from you!
In part 2 of my conversation with Jess we talk about how purity culture fed on the shame connected with her eating disorder, moving away from a self-help understanding of faith, struggling to understand sin, repentance, and confession in a healthy way, and how the Church can love well those living with a mental illness.
Trigger warning: this episode contains a detailed discussion of bulimia.
Questons? Comments? Suggestions? Please write to podcastdarkly21@hotmail.com. I'd love to hear from you!
Today's episode is the first part of a two part conversation with my good friend Jess. In this first part we cover a lot of ground, from the impact of defining mental illness as a sin, how ministry can lead to a lot of pressure but also a sense of self worth, being sure of God's love for others but not being able to experience it herself, how severe anxiety contributed to the development of an eating disorder, and as well as an aside on the Heaven's Gates and Hell's Flames play and the Left Behind series. You don't want to miss it!
Trigger warning: In this episode we talk about bulimia.
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please write to podcastdarkly21@gmail.com
On today's episode I talk with Steph about connecting with God in the darkness, learning that her identity might not be just in what she can do, the surprising scope of God's grace, and the joys and struggles of parenting.
Also, Steph is an amazing photographer. Check out her work at ironbragg.com.
In this episode I talk with Jessica about trauma, PTSD, and mental illness, the shame that often surrounds homelessness and living with a mental illness, a different way of approaching sobriety, and how all of her experiences shape how she cares for those experiencing homelessness and living with a substance use disorder.
Trigger warning: This episode contains references to sexual assault, substance use, and suicide.
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please write to podcastdarkly21@gmail.com
In this episode I speak with Paula about the joy and pain of belonging, holding on to truth in the midst of depression, and how the experience of God's kindness and care pulls her through the dark times of a borderline personality disorder.
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Please write to podcastdarkly21@gmail.com
Welcome to Through a Glass Darkly, the podcast about following Jesus while living with a mental illness. Hosted by Matt Escott, each episode will share one person's story of how mental illness has shaped how faith is understood and lived out, as well as how faith has influenced the experience of living with a mental illness. And because life is so much more than faith and mental illness, we will also discuss the interplay between faith, mental illness, and the stuff of everyday life: parenting, marriage, community, and vocation, to name only a few.
Join me in listening to these incredible stories from some amazing people. Subscribe or follow wherever you get your podcasts, and write to podcastdarkly21@gmail.com to share your questions, feedback, and suggestions.