My Coach Kate: Recent Episodes
Kate Bixler
My Coach Kate is the place to come for short and sweet tidbits that will help YOU to decide who your future-self will be and to become the best version of you now.
Picture a picture-perfect preschool classroom. Some of the words that might come to mind are calm, quiet, busy, organized, structured. I have always thought so. But come with me down a rabbit hole in this episode to challenge that a little bit. When children are happy and busy and the room seem pretty problem-free, there just might be an important ingredient missing. After this episode, you will know the future consequence of leaving out the conflict.
What are the things that didn't go very well today? How easily are you able to come up with this list? It is human nature to notice what things go wrong. What things are out of place around us or what doesn't belong in the environment. It is more difficult to notice the things that belong. The things that go right. The very things that are there all of the time every day. What does it mean to consider the complaints that you DON'T have today?
Have you ever tried to meditate before? What do you think about meditation? Do you have images of a roomful of people humming or sitting in silence who are deep in a trance and who have clear minds? Let's explore all of the different ways that meditation can look and some of the benefits that just might make it worth it to fit in a few minutes of this in your life. Especially with the AI tools that can personalize it to work for you.
When was the last time that you made a detailed plan? A party or event? A trip? Were you in charge of a planning committee? How did your plan compare to the final event? Chances are your preparation was helpful. Vital, even. But were there at least a few little things that you couldn't have predicted? Most likely, because life always intervenes with something that we can't guess ahead of time. Let's talk about what to actually do about that.
Are you one of the many people that live for vacation time? If so, I wonder if you have ever stopped to think about why it is, that we tolerate our daily life and stay on the 'go-go-go' pace of zooming through our to-do list and getting all of our tasks done. And then we go on a trip and the permissions that we give ourself to slow down is so radically different than the permissions that we give ourself when we are not on vacation. Let's take a deep dive into these ideas.
Think about those who are truly faithful to someone or something greater in the universe. Whether it is God or Spirit or aliens or manifestation- whatever it is.... those who have very strong beliefs have some benefits that come- not from WHAT they believe in. But simply, from having belief in the first place. We are going to talk about stress and about what thoughts lie under belief. You get to choose how you want to live this life and awareness of what belief can do for you is something that you will want to consider.
We all want a partner that communicates well with us. Those partners who are calm, rational, understanding, and are good listeners get their skills from somewhere. If we raise children and teach children how to have those skills and to practice them when they are young, we can raise a generation of men and women who are intellectually and emotionally ready to be in a partnership or marriage that includes good communication. Here are the first steps to doing just that.
Everyone has different challenges, but it very often has this at the center: the question of "Am I Enough?" Let's look at some different versions of this question and why it is there in the first place. How does it relate to our self-talk and what can we do about it? How do we actually believe that we ARE enough? After this episode you just might be able to relax and enjoy something that you like to do after all.
How many interests do you have? That's a question that we might have been asked as a child but that no one asks us anymore. How many hobbies do we have and how many would we like to have? Many of us would have more interests if we had a insurge of free time, extra spending money, and a little motivation. But adding these is one of the secrets to a long and happy life. Here are some ways to sneak in some learning when we are busy, tired, and overwhelmed.
How often do you use silence when you are having a conversation as a strategy? How often are you patient when you are listening to someone else talk? What if I told you that these are a couple of your superpowers, when you know how to use them in a helpful way for someone else? These are strategies that can work for both children and adults and skills that you can learn.
What are some tools or strategies that you use when you are feeling like someone else is trying to control you? Or maybe they aren't even trying but you give up what you want to accommodate them? Whether its to keep the peace or to be nice or because you decide that what they want is more important than what you want, you are still giving up your agency for them. Here is a way to balance it all.
All of the little decisions that we make everyday- big ones, little ones: they can sometimes lead to decision fatigue. We are going to talk about a personal document that you can create that can cut through all of the chaos. What if you had a guiding tool that made your decisions for you ahead of time by knowing which options beat out other options because they aligned with your values. It's a little shortcut to a lighter brain-load in your every day life.
Did you ever wish that it felt easier to say 'yes' to yourself for those decisions when you WISH that you would decide to do something a certain way for yourself, but you just keep on deciding the other way. Maybe you don't go exercise. Or you keep on giving in to your kids when they whine. Or you say yes- you will go to the event when you don't want to. If there was a hack to make it easier, then you could practice it until even the big decisions felt better to make. Well, there IS a hack and you will learn it today in this episode.
When we picture ourself achieving a goal that we have set for ourselves, how many times do we put ourselves into that scenario in our mind and imagine us as confident, happy, and no longer struggling with any challenges are problems. It sounds nice, but is it realistic? And what does that mean for how we are thinking about ourselves right now? Come and discover the reasons why we deserve our own respect right now.
There is a concept that comes from Finland called Sisu. We are going to explore what this concept is and how it can give you a different mindset in your daily life. The result will be clearing out some of the mental load that we carry in our brain to remember to get tasks done. If you find that you put a lot of things off until later on, then this is the episode for you.
Woohoo- we did it! We have shared 100 episodes together and this will close out our Self-Care Series. Altogether 11 episodes on taking really good care of you, so that you can be the best version of yourself. The version that you want to be. We are going to wrap up the previous 10 episodes and Celebrate!!
Who has your back more than anyone else in the world? You might have thought about your mom, your best friend, your partner...... But what about yourself? How big of a cheerleader are you are to encourage yourself along the way? Most of us grew up with a critical inner voice and it takes steps to relearn that kind of self-talk and to change it into a voice that, not only helps us, but that can be our biggest fan.
We have all heard how important connections with others are to longevity, quality of life, and our social and emotional health. But what happens when you know that you need connection and you just don't feel like it. Or it feels like too much when you are really needing to connect. Let's look at a new way to think about this that will make it all feel easy.
When was the last time that you tried something new. Were you good at it? Are there things that you have thought about trying, but if only you had learned how to do it when you were younger..... We hesitate to start something if we won't be at least adequate at it. We are more afraid to fail than we used to be as a child. Learn how allowing ourselves to do something badly can be another way to take good care of ourselves.
As we continue this series, we are going to bring you back to your childhood to think about how you enjoyed your playtime. When adults play, we call it our hobbies. What hobbies do you have and do you actually take time regularly to indulge in them? We will look at the main reasons that adults stop playing and I have some practical advice if you want to get back to more time for yourself again after a hiatus .
How many of us plan out our day using time blocks, estimating how long tasks will take, filling up the hours of the day with appointments and tasks. Today, we will think about our day in a new way. We will consider something called an Energy Mismatch and you will learn what an Energy Budget can solve. This is your chance to learn how to schedule your tasks each day in a whole new way that will get that result of success that you just might be looking for.
When was the last time that you sat on the couch trying to talk yourself into getting up and getting to something. It might have been something that you KNOW that you really want to do. Or something that you are trying to START doing. Somehow, we think that we need to figure out how to get motivated to do it. If only motivation would come to us. Listen to this episode so that you can understand the way that it really works. Know the secret, finally, to get going in action and how to finally find that motivation feeling.
We often think of motivation as something that other people have and something that we don't have. Or that others have more of it. The good news is that none of that is true. We all have motivation and our brain activates it under certain circumstances; in certain conditions. When we understand what our prime conditions are, we can help our brain to work for us in those challenging areas.
As we continue our Self-Care series, it's time to examine the habits and practices in our life that are more time-consuming, more complicated, and harder than they have to be. There is a secret reason why we hold on to a strategy and a practice that feels hard rather than to take the simple and easy road. Once you hear it in this way, it just might be secret sauce that you need to lead an easier life and to not feel guilty about it.
Think about the last time that you were nervous to do something new. Or something that you hesitated on starting. Why do we wait or hesitate or try to talk ourselves into starting something new? We usually wait around for some motivation to come along and to inspire us. We are going to reframe that to learn what it is our nervous system actually needs.
Welcome to our 10-part series, leading up to our 200th episode! We will discuss the first rule of self-care. That we are humans who are supposed to feel things. Good things, bad things, and all of the things. Find out a few things that we subconsciously to, that makes it all worse. Once we see it, we can undo it!
When you think of the term ADHD, what do you picture? How would you describe the typical person who is diagnosed with this? What are they doing and what symptoms or indicators can you see? In this episode, I will share with you some of the lesser-known symptoms and some of them may surprise you!
We have all had those times in our relationship... When you have been talking and talking about an issue and trying to hard to resolve it. You just might be doing everything right and it still feels like you aren't getting to the light at the end of the tunnel. What is happening? What if I told you that, even though you ARE doing it right, that all you need is a simple shift. Stop talking and follow this easy prescription that will get you right back on track. It makes a lot of sense, once you know!
We have all had this experience before. You are living your life. You are used to the highs and the lows and it just feels like life. And then you find a solution for a problem that you have been having. Sort of like the first time that someone puts on glasses and realizes that it's supposed to be this way. And you just didn't know. This is a great episode for anyone who has adjusted to problems and deals with it. But wishes that there could be a solution that would make you feel better.
When you have tried every diet under the sun, but the scale doesn't budge. When you want to exercise and you have come up with all of the plans to start and it isn't happening. When you are really good at organizing your to-do list, but things just tend to stay on there and never get done. What can you do when the strategies don't work? This is the episode for anyone who feels like they have tried it all and it just doesn't work for them. Let's talk about a new approach that will help you to feel a whole lot better.
In the story of Pinocchio, he finds himself heading down a street to Pleasure Island. It's lined with candy and treats and everything enticing. If you asked Pinocchio where he was headed, he really didn't know. Let's look at this story and discover what this has to do with our goals and those moments when we find ourselves heading down another road with the destination unknown.
Now that the winter holidays are over, and we are looking ahead to the New Year, let's assess. I am using the childhood story of The Three Bears to discuss how your holiday season 'fit' you. We all have a level of activity and connection and busyness and rest that is just right for us. And that amount is different for each person. Let's talk about the agency that you have that you might not be aware of so that you can have a 'just right' holiday season in 2026.
When was the last time that your well-planned day or organized week got thrown off-track? Something happened: you got sick, an unexpected problem or expectation from someone else was placed on you or something that you have been working on just didn't work in the way that you were hoping that it would. How did you feel? Did it throw you off? It can be overwhelming and frustrating when a wrench gets thrown into our path. Let's explore what we can do about it.
It is almost the New Year. What do you have planned for yourself? Do you have specific goals in mind? How detailed are they? And how detailed is your plan? I am thinking about who I will be in one year from now. And about the system that I will follow in order to get there. Join me in talking about what it is that you need to begin.
Sometimes we carry extra stress on our backs...on our shoulders.... We place a rock, one by one, into that metaphorical backpack and we carry it around with us wherever we go. Let's explore how they get there and what we can do to start lightening our load.
What is the difference between being willing or motivated to do a task? What about excitement and inspiration- where do those feelings come in? When you are beginning something new, what is the feeling that you should expect? How do you know which is the right feeling to wait for, before you get started? This week you will learn about willingness and how to get into action much more quickly.
We all think about the future in some way. Some with worry, some with hope. However we think about it, we may not realize that we create stories about the future. Not only do these stories actually affect what happens to us in the future, but it can also affect how we think, feel and act in the present. Listening to this episode will be sure to expand the possibilities that are open to you.
Here is Part 2 of our 3 part series. We sometimes don't realize the filtering and editing that our brain does all of the time. Facts and circumstances are happening all around us. Our brain picks out the bits of information that it wants to focus on, based on our beliefs and biases. And then it weaves a story in the present moment that fits in with those beliefs and subconscious thoughts. Awareness and an understanding of the process is how we begin to have the option to adopt new thoughts and to be able to create new results in our life.
What was your childhood like? Was it good, bad, happy, sad? When you look back, do you wish that things could have happened differently? Do you wish that other people were different or that you made different choices for yourself? What was your role in the past- were you someone who controlled what happened or that had little control? No matter what kind of past we have had, we think about it with a certain filter that affects who we are today. Let's take a deeper look at how we tell our stories to ourself.
When you write something down on that list of what to do today, how sure do you feel about crossing it off later? Do you ever have tasks that you bump from today to tomorrow? From this week to next week? The Sure Factor is one little trick that will end this habit for good. Once you know how it works, you can be assured that the only things that get put on your list are items that you will be proudly crossing off as complete. In under 20 minutes you will learn something that can change your effectiveness forever.
When we are afraid of doing something or we hesitate to get started, that fear or anxiety is very real. It's hard to believe that there is a fun and silly strategy that will take something that is serious and real and transform it into a lighthearted and silly experience. It's easy to do and actually fun once you learn how. And the best part? It will get you back into action again in no time.
Time to add another tool to our toolbox of things that we can pull out when it feels hard to change our thinking. This week we will address those moments when your thinking feels stuck or inflexible. What are the struggles that you have in your life that other people just don't seem to have. This will be a hands-on process that can change your thinking quickly, based on skills that you already have.
We have all heard this advice before: 'fake it until you make it' to build your inner confidence. But, just because it is well known advice, does that mean that it is the best advice? We are going to talk about how this advice can advance your skills in one way, but that it really can't get you the rest of the way to true confidence in yourself. There is a big difference between faking it and building real confidence and I have 4 practical tips for you to get you on your way.
Did you ever picture what it was like for your mom to grow up in the era that she grew up in? What was life like in the 1950's for people, and for women in particular? We are going to talk about the concept of conformity that was evident at that time and what it has to do with women today? If you find that you sometimes dismiss your own needs in order to accommodate others, then this is an important episode for you.
Who do you look up to? Are there people in your life that you look to for advice or who are further down the road on the path that you want to travel? Think about how you think about those people. Have you ever put them on a pedestal and pictured them not having the struggles that you have? We are going to talk about this phenomenon and how you can think of these experts in a way that is more helpful.
Do you know that saying that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence? Why does it appear that way? What is it that our brains are telling us or that we are thinking to feel like other people just might have it better than we do? We are going to explore this idea, along with 3 consequences for having this mindset and then I will give you 4 valuable ways to squash it in its tracks. You will leave here with the realization that you don't have to live with envy and that it IS possible to be happy in your own yard.
It's natural to want to make more room in our life for hobbies, friends, other things that we want to work towards. And we feel like we don't have time. Or we might want to work towards a specific goal, but there are things in our way that stop us from getting there. This week, we will explore an idea that can jump-start the results, borrowing a strategy that doctor's use to solve a physical problem by 'going without', as an experiment. Sometimes, we have to isolate the possible problems, in order to figure out exactly what is causing us pain.
Have you heard about the studies that look at the effectiveness of taking a placebo, measured against those that take an actual medication and against those that receive no treatment at all? Let's take a peek into why the placebo works in the way that it does and how you can use this concept in a very practical way. How can you use this knowledge to make some impact on the challenges that you have in your life or in an area where you feel stuck?
Are you in a relationship? If so, for how long? Have you ever considered which of the 5 stages that you and your partner are currently in? If you aren't in a relationship right now, you can think of another couple that you are close to or a previous relationship. You might be surprised that the length of time that two people are together doesn't always dictate the stage of the relationship.
This week, I have been experimenting with a new technique to make habit formation easier. We have talked so much about setting big goals. And sometimes we get so intimidated by those big, scary goals that we can get in our way of doing the work to get to them. This new technique that I have been using this week has been so successful that I want to share it with you so that you can finally up your habit game too.
Just how busy are you? Very often, the answer is that we are MUCH busier than we actually are, if we looked at what is on our calendar and added up the actual minutes of physical work. We add in a lot of that feeling of being busy, by adding up the time that we spend THINKING about our tasks. There is a mental load that goes along with many things that we do. Let's talk about what it is that we can actually do to catch our brain when it tells us how busy we are.
This week I am telling a story. Listen to an analogy about Tom and the house that he builds. Then I will pose a question to you about two different roads and which one you would take. It's an episode to get you thinking about what kind of person that you want to be in this lifetime. It's as old as the question "Is it better to have loved and lost? Or to never have loved at all?"
When you feel stuck with moving towards a goal that you really want to achieve, sometimes the problem isn't really what you think it is. There is something else at play underneath, something that your brain is doing, to try and hold on to the identity that it knows. To the you that feels normal. Turning that problem into a project to complete takes some attention to what it means for your identity to change. This episode will explain why your brain is trying to keep you safe and what to focus on so that it will feel safer to move forward.
This week we will do another little experiment of bringing a little something to your life. If you are a skeptic when you hear about energy, manifesting, and the Law of Attraction, then this is an episode for you. We are first going to dive into a little bit of the basics of Quantum Physics in order to understand what Alignment is and what 3 things in your life you need to align in order to attract something to you.
What are the unexpected things that bring a little spark of joy to your day? Do you ever plan for things to sprinkle throughout your day or your week that make you happy? We all know what it's like to fall into a habitual routine and to sometimes forget to be present, forget to have a little bit of fun and laughter in our day. Sometimes, we can even be guilty of not being able to list a few things that bring us joy. We might forget to take care of ourself in this way. If this sounds familiar, it can stop once you listen to this episode and get back to planning some real joy to sprinkle into your life and into your day today.
We have talked before about the dos and don'ts of manifesting those things that you really want in your life. But what if you are feeling skeptical about manifestation? What if you think of it is something that is just fairy magic pretend stuff? Or that you think that it could be real but it's something that only mystical people know how to do? This episode is for the dis-believers. You just might realize that this is something that, not only you could do in your life, but that there is good reason why you should be manifesting positive things. Otherwise, we will just keep on going forward and manifesting some negative things that we don't really want.
Sometimes we can't control our circumstances. Sometimes we can control our circumstances but we just don't want to change them at the moment. It might not seem worth the effort. Or maybe it's just not the right time. We are going to look at an idea about, not just making the best of a bad situation, but are going to go one step farther to explore who it is that we want to be in the situation. There might be skills or personality traits that we want to have. Maybe a new attitude or perspective in that situation. How do we go about becoming that person that we want to be?
Have you ever heard a song that caught you off guard? One that you didn't know but that you just instantly fell in love with? I am going to share a few times that this happened to me and 3 lessons that we can learn from these little surprise moments.
Last week we talked about how to put whatever problem that you are encountering in your life into a coaching tool that is called The Model. The Model allows you to take a look at the thought that you are having about your situation and to see what emotions and actions it is bringing and how that is tied to the results that you are getting in your life This week, we are going to explore what to do from there. You know that there is a certain result that you really want in your life. And there is a gap between where you are now and THERE, in that magical place that you want to be in. Let's get practical and talk about how to bridge the gap.
We all know that when we are unhappy with something in our life, we can make a change. Change is not usually easy and sometimes we just don't want to. Maybe we are afraid, maybe we are tired, maybe the change just doesn't feel worth the effort. I am going to give you a way to get out of that funk and actually be able to turn up the happiness meter when you DON'T want to make a change.
Come and join me for some reflection on the WILDFIT program that I have been following for the last 7 weeks. It's been an educational journey and I am going to specifically talk about emotional eating: why we do it, how we learned it, and how to recognize when you are doing it too. This is such an important episode if you have a desire to be healthy, to lose any weight, or if you are just interested in the differences in how our ancestors ate vs. how we learn how to eat today.
We are at the final part of our 4-episode series. We have explored the GROW model for attaining a goal, one letter at a time. In this last segment we explore the W for "Way Forward" (or some prefer to use the word 'will'). It's time to make a map for yourself that you can follow step-by-step and have that goal achieved before you know it. We will also talk about how to fool-proof your plan to make success inevitable.
In part 3 of our series, we will take a look at the obstacles that you identified last week that might get in the way of you accomplishing this particular goal that you have chosen for yourself. We will take a look at the particular ways that your brain might try and get you to believe that you have only 2 choices available to you: succeed flawlessly or give up and fail. We will explore all of the beautiful options that are really available to you.
In Part 2 of this series, we will explore the R in the GROW model. R stands for Reality and we will take an honest look at where you are right now, before you start the journey towards your goal. In any good journey, you must plan for the obstacles that you might encounter so that you can be prepared to handle them. Then those challenges will not stop you and you will not feel stuck.
Welcome to a 4-part series this month on how to achieve any goal that you set. Once you listen to the entire series and do the work that goes along with each episode, you will be on your way to following a step-by-step plan that is personalized for you and will result in becoming the person who has that specific accomplishment that you want. In part 1, we will choose and fine-tune the first goal that you want to use this process on. We will also assess that goal and tweak it, if necessary, so that you will be on your way!
This week we are celebrating Episode #150 together. Let's take a look at the different ways that we tend to celebrate the accomplishments in our lives. Are we helping ourselves or hurting ourselves with the rewards that we choose to mark the moments that we want to pat ourselves on the back to say 'great job'? After listening to this episode, you just might have a whole new outlook on the moments that you will want to mark and the way that you can reward yourself that will truly make you happier.
We all know that couples are supposed to compromise to make decisions. But let's talk about a positive way and a negative way to do this. Settling and Acceptance are very similar ideas. But we all know that settling has a negative connotation to it and acceptance a positive one. But do you understand what the difference is and why one is positive and one is negative? Understanding the difference can help you to move from a position of having settled in some key areas of your life to a much better feeling by accepting your partner's needs and wishes and being able to honor your own.
We've all seen that depiction in movies and cartoons when the little angel on your right shoulder whispers in your ear, telling you to do the things that will keep you on the path that you want to follow. And the little devil on your other shoulder will whisper into your other ear, giving you directions that will give you some pleasure in the moment and lead you astray, off of the path that you have planned. Let's take a closer look at this analogy this week and see how you can learn about your own self-talk, inside of your brain.
Do you ever feel stuck in your thinking? Or, let me ask you this: do you ever think about what someone else should or shouldn't do? And it makes you feel bad for someone else? Or judgmental about that person? You know that it doesn't change the circumstances and it doesn't make you feel good either. It just makes you feel helpless. And maybe even a little bit on a 'higher level', since we think that we would make a better choice than that other person is making. We are going to talk about one slight change that you can make in the way that you are thinking about this. A way that you can open yourself up to other options to consider or to think that will help you to feel MUCH better.
We all know that we react when things happen in our lives. We interpret what it means when someone doesn't text back or when someone's words or tone is not what we expect or when their actions don't make sense to us. But how much of our interpretations come from our own stories? The ones that lie underneath and come from the stories that we heard and learned growing up: from our families, from our friends, and from the world around us. How do we break out what is just a story now? Let's take a look together at how they might be affecting our journey.
'And' can be one of those powerful little words that can change the way that you talk to others, talk to yourself, and enable true understanding, validation, and set and hold boundaries. That's a big promise for such a little word! This is an episode that is packed with specific examples so that you can walk away and begin using this little trick right away. It's one of my favorite tools!
Have you ever found yourself in a situation in which you are in a crowd? Maybe it's not even a crowd of strangers, but people that you like or love, but it's either too loud, too angry, too chaotic for you to feel calm, safe, and comfortable? If you are ever around anyone else's negative energy, then listen to this episode to begin to think about the practical steps that you would need to take in order to be that calm in the middle of the storm. You know that it's important to take care of yourself, but how do you do it in the middle of chaos?
Everyone needs a balance of things in their life to make sure that you feel good, that you are taking care of yourself, and that you are creating an environment for yourself in which you can thrive. We are each so individual and we are going to look at why your personal pie chart of categories cannot be copied from someone else. One size does not fit all and you will learn how to create the personal mix that will work for you right now, at this time in your life.
When you have wanted to drop a few pounds in the past, how have you gone about putting together your own personal plan? My guess is that you might have done what a lot of us have done. We started out by looking at all of the choices of diets that are out there so that we know what to do. I am going to tell you this week why that strategy never seems to really work for us. There is a much better way to put together our own weight loss puzzle and to make sure that we pay attention to the most important things first so that reaching our goal weight can feel easier and be more effective.
Active Listening has been around for a very long time. We have all heard of it and you might even know the steps. But have you ever spent a significant amount of time practicing them? Practiced them until it feel more natural? If you have, then you have gotten to the other side of this to be able to witness and feel the magic that is there. Let's talk through how a practice, as simple as Active Listening is, can transform your communication at home.
You have heard the saying "Show me your friends, and I will show you your future", or "I will tell you who you are". We are going to take a look at your closest friendships and do some reflections on them and on the influence that they have on you. What do your friends show others about your core values? And if this isn't the area of your life that is really clicking for you right now, what can you do about it?
Have you ever heard of the terms Carb Cycling, Metabolic Confusion, or Macro-nutrients? If you have but you aren't really sure what they are all about or how they relate to each other, then we are going to take a little crash course into the basics. It won't be a deep dive into every concept but just enough to give you what you need to know in case you want to try this out for yourself. There are lots of ways to personalize this to fit your life and your specific needs. I am starting out on trying out Carb Cycling this week and I want to bring you along on my journey!
Let's talk about what is left on your list of brand-new habits that you want to start. Or you are working on starting them. Maybe you even do them once in a while, but not yet regularly. Let's consider why using accountability and raising the importance of starting those to an emergency in your life just might be the ticket to living a satisfying and fulfilling life. Once you listen to this episode, you will have a few ideas of how to get started and begin creating some time to do so.
Have you heard of Gretchen Rubin's Book, The Four Tendencies? If you haven't, I will give you a quick re-cap and this week we will talk about what it is like to be the tendency that is the MOST common- that of The Obliger. If you are an Obliger like I am, you will hear about the number one tip that you can put into your life to embrace this tendency and to make it work for you, rather than against you.
I know- you've heard it... fruits and vegetables are good for the diet. Plant-based eating is good for your gut health. Good gut health is the key to lots of all-around health. But what do we do when we don't want to completely change the way that we are eating? How can we make it feel easier? You have come to the right place if you want to know how to 'sneak it in' and not really feel a big change. But follow this plan and you will soon find yourself with a much happier gut.
How is your New Year going? Many of us have begun some new habits and already by week 3 of January, it is not as exciting and fun as it felt on Week 1. Sometimes we already feel like we are juggling too much and that familiar feeling of overwhelm creeps in. What's a girl to do? Tune in for some practical tips that you can put into place today.
Did you realize that MOST of what we do in a day, in a week, throughout the year are our established habit actions? We do have some variety in our lives, but even when an event comes up that we attend, or we go on a date, or see family, our behavior is largely based on our habitual behavior in those situations. When we begin a new habit, when is it actually considered to be a habit? We are going to dive into this deeply this week to look at the stages that we have to go through to be able to do something on auto-pilot and what other characteristics that we can look for to know that we have gotten past the drama of it.
There are so many sayings around telling us to live a big life and to chase our dreams and never to give up until we get to exactly what it is that we want. After all, we don't want to have any regrets, right? This week we are going to explore the idea of what it means to actually live a smaller version of that life and a way that we can do that and end up with more satisfaction, gratitude and maybe even some manifesting the things that we want.
It's that time again. Many of us will be sitting down to write our New Year's Resolutions. I have a different approach for you this year. Before you begin making yourself promises that will be abandoned within the first few weeks, consider making some goals that are sure to work for you. I will talk about the key factor that you should think about so that you can start the New Year off in a way that will make it the best year yet. What if this is the year that you can finally achieve that big goal that you want so much?
What are the songs and the bands and the artists that really get your blood pumping? We all have favorite types of music and this week we will dive in to why your favorites are your favorites. And more importantly, how can you use your favorite music, both the old favorites and new ones that you can discover, to help you to create new habits and routines in your life? We will take a look at the science and the biology of what happens when you listen your music that you love.
As we develop new skills in ourselves, how often do we begin by sitting and relaxing, closing our eyes and taking some breaths. We do it with meditating, with praying, with thinking or calming down. Let's take a look at the two books that I am currently reading to see how slowing down helps with developing two new skills: one from each book. And we will talk about how you can relate this to your life and the new skills that you are able to develop, whether or not you believe that you can right now.
What are your thoughts on hypnosis? What about self-hypnosis? Some may by more familiar with this than others, but I bet that most people do not currently have this tool as a part of their daily life. But, what if there is something there that you might be missing out on? Come along with me as I share my thoughts from the book that I am reading, The Self-Hypnosis Diet by Steven and Joy Gurgevich. I will share my experience and you can learn how to help your sub-conscious mind work for you in the background of your life.
What are the things that you do consistently in your life? I bet that you have other things that you wish that you did more consistently. Have you ever started some new habits and then had them fall off when you didn't keep them up perfectly? Let's take a look at the difference between consistency and perfection and get a big clue to what is holding you back from starting some of those new habits.
Have you ever thought about the things that we do to make ourselves feel better? How do you get through a stressful day? Can we find any lessons in taking a look at the way that babies learn to self-soothe themselves? How do they do it and what is at the root of what we do? Let's talk about this so that we can find the ways that are most effective and healthy for our lives.
How do you decide what it is that you fit into your morning routine? Have you had the same morning routine for years and years? Or does it change over time? Or is it completely different every day? What are your morning tasks tied to? Is it the short-term goals that you have for the day? Or do any of your tasks get you a little bit closer to your long-term goals? Let's jump in and look at how you can assess your morning routine and how you might think of looking at it in a different way, as the new year approaches us.
Sometimes you find yourself in a difficult decision. Maybe it's even a small decision, but it feels like a little tug of war between what you want in the moment and what you wish that you would decide to give yourself what it is that you like in the long run. When this happens, I have a tool for you that you can use to make it feel easier. Learning the art of practice is one way to kick perfectionism to the curb. And to help you in your journey to adopt new habits and beliefs about yourself. Listen so that you can connect it all together and begin using the art of practice in your life.
Do you ever wish that you could have more control over things in your life? What about over other people or even over things like our country's election? It can feel terrible wrestling with the fact that we just don't have control over things. Let's take a look at how shifting your mindset just a little bit can help you let go a little bit. Can help you focus on something else. Can help you to consider what things you CAN control in your life. Especially with Election Day happening this week, it's always helpful to think about where your focus is so that you can manage your thoughts and feelings.
Think about the way that you live your every-day life. How many days seem the same? How many days are filled with activities that are closely aligned with your core values? We have all established some habits that we WANT to keep. They are habits that help us stay close to those values. Or they propel us towards our goals. And then we have other habits. That feel comforting but are not as aligned with the values or goals that we have. Let's put a magnifying glass on how we are living each day so that we can make it just right for us.
What are you doing right now? Right this very minute? Now I know that you are looking at the description on this episode, but what else is going on in your life today? Can you picture others who are having the same kind of day as you today? What about the exact opposite kind of day? Let's take a look at another tool for your toolbox that can help to put your life into perspective very quickly and it only takes a little bit of imagination. It's just the thing that you need when you feel unmotivated or stuck.
Have you ever had a See and Say wheel when you were little? If not, are you familiar with that old toy where you pull down the lever or pull the string to see which farm animal it will land on and make that noise? We are going to talk about what that old vintage toy has to do with choosing the thoughts in your head, the feelings that you have and the actions that you choose. After listening to this episode, it might occur to you that the things that do are related to what we have chosen to do in the past. They are not random and we can take a look at what would happen if our thoughts WERE a little more random.
We all want things and we all like things. What is the difference, really? Very often it is easy to identify the things that we want. It requires an action to give something to ourselves right away, in the moment. It takes a little bit more considering to figure out what the things are that we like. Usually it's a good feeling that we get after something happens. Or when we are proud of ourselves, for doing something hard, or for not doing something. For sticking to a plan. Let's take a look at how to figure this out in our life.
We all get stressed sometimes. We all find ourselves in situations when we reach for a tried and true strategy to help us to calm down. To help us to decide something. To help us to be accepting, to be kind, to stop judging someone else or ourselves. We tend to use the same strategies over and over again. Some of them work well. Sometimes we try a strategy that does not work well enough. And we think that maybe we should learn a new strategy or two. Let's take a peek at how well-rounded your toolbox or tool bag of strategies is and consider adding some new ones.
When was the last time that you made a big decision? How did it affect or change your life? Did you stick to it? Come with me this week and learn the definition of decision that changed the way that I think about my decisions. It was an AHA moment this week that I want to share with you. It was something that I used to motivate me and change the view that I have about the decisions that I make. I can turn a decision into a tool that I use when making other decisions.
When you have a big block of time in front of you, how do you handle it? Do you have a to-do list a mile long? Do you spend more time than you should relaxing? How productive is your day? Is it hit-or-miss if it will be a super-productive day or a wash? Here is a tried-and-true strategy that you can use to make sure that you will always hit it out of the park AND have your time to rest and rejuvenate as well. It works for me and I can't wait to share it with you.
What are the big milestones that you have achieved in your life? What are the ones that you have coming up? Think about your biggest goals. Today we are going to talk about what ACTUALLY makes up the important stuff of your life. You will be surprised that it just might not be those big goals. This is a practical episode that can help you to start enjoying your life a little bit more, right now: this week.
Why is it that we look at other people who have accomplished big goals, or the goals that WE want to accomplish, and somehow believe that they have gotten to that point all by themselves? Why do we stop and start and struggle, by trying to figure things out by ourselves? We know that there are people who would be happy to help us, but something is getting in our way from getting that help- what is it?
What is the goal that you have kept in the back of your mind for a while now? The one that you keep delaying starting on? Guess what? It's time to stop putting that one on the back burner. We are getting started with this goal THIS WEEK and I will do it right along with you! Let's have a chat about why you haven't gotten started yet and find out what is involved on stepping aboard that boat to set sail to the island of that goal, finally.
Think about the current goals that you have for yourself. Especially the goals that have been goals for a while. What are you doing to obtain those? Have you outlined all of the steps to get there? Are you following those steps most of the time? I bet that if someone asked you how committed you feel towards this goal, you might say that you are fully committed. Let's take a look at why your brain is not completely truthful with you about this? Why your brain TELLS you that you are fully committed, and how that is not quite true.
Have you done something recently that had you questioning why you did it after the fact? And how did you ask yourself that question? Was it with judgement and shame? Did you feel upset with yourself, or angry, or ashamed? Let's take a look at what element could be much more useful when you find yourself asking that question of yourself. There is a way to make that a powerful question that can help, instead of hurt.
What is that you really get out of a coaching session? If we don't go to a coach for expert advice, and we don't go to a coach to tell us what it is that we should do, then what is it that coaching can offer to us? It is a chance to have someone to help us to examine our own minds and our own thinking. There are tiny, little perspective shifts that we can make that will change a lot. Here are 7 of my favorite ones that you can think about or try on for size.
Whether or not you have ever been coached before, there is always a very first coaching experience. What was yours like? If you have never been coached before, what do you THINK it would be like? There are so many different types of coaching programs. Let's take a look at a few different types, so that if you are ever in the market for a coach for yourself, you can have some knowledge of which type of program might be the best fit for you.
Have you ever watched any reality TV? What about reality game shows? Well I have been indulging in some of these this week and I have some thoughts. I identified one theme that really stood out among multiple shows and it got me thinking about true integrity. The kind of integrity that seems like an ideal? What are the results that a person creates when they have that type of true character? And where do you find yourself when it comes to this area of our life?
We all come up against things that we wanted to do, planned to do, feel like we SHOULD do, and we just don't feel like it. We come up with reasons why we can't. Why it's not a good idea. With other things that are more important than that, in the moment. How do we know when our brain is giving us good information and when it is giving us an excuse? Did you know that you can't really trust your brain to be honest with you? Let's look at how to figure out when something is an excuse and when you have a good reason and you should listen?
Today is a chance to understand some Life Coach 'speak'. I am going to give you some insight into how a Life Coach would use this technique, the Elevator Technique, on a client in a session. Why, do you ask? Understanding one strategy of this technique just might be able to help you when you are coaching yourself and you are feeling stuck. We all have some blind spots in our thinking and knowing how to try this on your own thinking models just might uncover one of those blind spots and give you some insight into your own thinking.
What is decision fatigue? It is the drain on your brain from making thousands of little decisions throughout your day and your week. It is the resulting exhaustion and not being sure, really, why you are so exhausted. What is the solution and how can we put it into effect right away to make our life better, give us more energy and more brain power for other things? It's easier than you think!
Let's take a look at an analogy about a cup of coffee. Ultimately, we will be talking about what it is that you fill 'your cup' with. When life bumps into you, what comes spilling out of your cup. What would you LIKE to fill your cup up with? Let's consider whether or not this is another area of your life in which you have some control and one area that you never considered before.
This week, we are going to do something a little bit different. We aren't going to talk about something, but we are going to explore the absence of something. Those moments in time in which we get a glimpse of what 'nothing' might be. What is it actually? What is left when all of the somethings are cleared away? Let's have a little conversation and you can see what you think 'nothing' can do for you.
I know that you have heard the terms gut health and microbiomes thrown around and that you know that they have to do with digestion. But it can be all confusing because we constantly hear that certain foods are good to eat for one diet and terrible to eat in another diet. Your digestion is actually related to so many things so I want to help make it a little bit clearer as far as what things to do to keep your gut happy and working for you.
Do you workout? Do you want to workout? Do you hate working out? This week let's hear some lessons learned from trying a brand new type of exercise (at least new to me!)- water aerobics. Listen to my 5 reasons why it's one type of exercise that I really like for myself. Maybe it's for you too? Maybe not? Come and see for yourself!
What are your plans for the future? What are your biggest, most far-away dreams? How sure are you that they are going to happen? Let's look at a simple 6-step procedure that you can take to pull those dreams out of your future and land them very squarely in the present. Once you have these 6 steps into place, you can be sure that you will turn your dream into a reality.
Happy 100 Episodes! I am so excited that you are here to celebrate with me. I have a special guest with me today: my wife Dina! Come and listen as I interview her about our life together and what it's like to live with, and partner with, a life coach. Thanks for being here to celebrate with me Dina!
What kind of an outlook do you have on life? Do you take on challenges as puzzles to figure out and circumstances to handle and move on? Or do you feel like life keeps happening to you and you get the short end of the stick? Let's dive into the surprising simple reason why some people feel hopeless and some feel hopeful, when they are in the exact same circumstances as each other.
We are going to continue our conversation from last week about the Vacation Mindset and how to make your home life as fun and relaxing as your vacation life. Let's look at how to use a tool for only one minute out of your day to switch up your train of thought to the way that you think on vacation. This is a practical solution that anyone can put into place.
How do you feel when you are on vacation? What is your mood like? We all know that it's probably more happy and carefree than it is during your time at home. Have you ever stopped to really think about why that is though? What if there is something there that we can learn and extract, so that we can learn to have some of that all of the time?
Have you ever had a time in your life when you felt overwhelmed? Maybe you had a pretty organized life and then some new tasks or events came into it that just seemed like one task too many. It's hard to juggle new things and come up with a new schedule that works. But there is more to this than just a schedule-rearrange. It's important to think about how you are thinking about all of it. Let's look at a tool that can help you to sort it all out.
Do you remember, in the 80's and 90's, those choose your own adventure books there were popular? Whether or not you do, come and contemplate what these books have to do with living a rewarding life. I want you to consider a little perspective shift that might help to make decisions easier for you, and might even help you to enjoy your life a little bit more.
What are the things that scare you? What are some things that you just don't feel like doing? How often do you find yourself staying in your comfort zone? Let's look at a few benefits of coming out of that safe space and getting comfortable with the 'uncomfortable'.
What is your perspective on dessert? Whether or not weight-loss is one of the goals in your life, I am curious about your perspective on the access of dessert. We are going to take a look at 3 different perspectives and see where you land on these ideas. Do you live in one of these philosophies? Or do you combine the ideas into your own unique approach?
Many decisions that we make in our life just might be made without realizing that we are actually avoiding a consequence. We make them with good intentions, such as to consider someone else's feelings, but are we making the best choice? We also don't want to put ourselves first all of the time. Just what is the right balance? Let's take a look at how to make decisions and be able to detach from the outcome and why we would do that anyway.
What is the purpose of your life? Not the purpose of life for all of us. But, just for you as an individual? If you aren't sure if you have that really dialed in, then this is the perfect episode to help you to figure that out. Hurry up- your people are waiting for you to know your purpose so that you can help them!
How much do you regularly fit into your day? What are the things that you do every day, or every week without fail? Have you ever had the thought that you just can't fit in more? Let's take a look to see what can actually fit right in with the habits that you already have. You might be surprised!
What are the ways that you hold yourself back in life? I bet that you might be able to think of one or two, but how would you uncover the ones that you can't easily see. We all place ceilings over ourselves and sometimes we are not even aware that we do it. I am going to give you a tool to become aware of your own and talk about how you can change it, in the places that you would like to.
Have you ever heard of the 80/20 rule? Many of us have and a lot of us understand the basic concept. But whether or not you have heard of it before, this episode will help you to know it, understand, AND be ready to figure out how to apply it to your life. Only 20% of people will use this knowledge to get the best results. So, if you want to be part of that 20%, then give this episode a listen!
What do you hear in those moments that you are quiet? Those moments where your brain calms and steps aside and you can hear another voice? And where does that voice come from, really? Let's consider these questions this week, in a way that can help you to create the habits that you really want.
Happy Valentine's Day Week! Whether you currently have a partner or not, it's important to understand the different Love Languages that everyone speaks in, both when giving to others and when receiving love from others and interpreting those actions. You might give and receive in the same language, or you just might be bi-lingual. Let's dive into this special Valentine's Day edition.
Let's talk about a magical way that you can find one little thing that you are willing to do and make that magic bean grow and grow into something that helps you to enrich your life in all of the different areas. Just like the idea of 'Paying it forward' can expand exponentially to other people, this is way to expand something, but to yourself.
Most of us have focused on a task, or been sitting at a workshop for longer than optimal. We start to get a headache or our concentration is just faltering. What is a brain break and what is the best way to get one? Let's look at all different scenarios, as they apply to both children and adults. Find the best fit for what you need at the moment, so that you can be productive again when you are ready.
Have you every been inside a greenhouse? Experienced the warm, sunny environment? Plants thrive in that environment. Let's jump into this analogy and see how it can apply to your life, when you are in a leadership position. Whether or not you have much of a green thumb, you will be able to see your role as a leader in a new way.
What does your work style look like? Are you a long-distance runner? A sprinter? Let's look at a simple analogy and think about how it benefits you to work one way, and not the other. After listening to your podcast, you will be one step closer to completing that task that you have been putting off, or trying to complete, without making much head-way.
What are wheels? They are pie charts that we are going to talk about today to create an analogy for when you should give 100% effort to something and when you shouldn't. Were you raised with the idea to give your all to everything that you do? If you were, then listen to this to think about why maybe that isn't the best idea after all, and what might be better for you.
Happy New Year! What are the basic core beliefs in your primary relationship? If you don't know them, off of the top of your head, then come on in and listen to mine. New Year's Eve brought some deep conversation with my wife and I and we came up with our 5 most important beliefs. They will be our reminders in the new year and you can see if they inspire your own.
You have goals; Big goals. But how are you picturing your life after you achieve your next big goal? If you are like most of us, you might be picturing the 'you' that you are now moving toward your other goals. We often forget to picture ourself as the new version that we will be after our next big goal. Here is a little secret way to give yourself the opportunity to practice being the next version of you.
What is your life like today? Would you want to live your life today, for the rest of your life with no change? What would be the pros of that and what would be the cons? We are going to explore the idea of cost, different lenses that you use to look at your life and that you might use when it's time to make decisions, and a review of that primitive brain and the motivational triad that drives it. Then we will put it altogether to talk about the cost to you of staying the same and never going after your goals.
What is the last goal that you set that just seemed like it was staying out of reach? Why wasn't it working? You were doing the work but just not getting near that finish line. Let's take a look at one big reason why this might be. Let's talk about why you need to have a very detailed picture in mind of what it looks like and feels like to be there. How does it work to have more details? Why is that the key? We will talk about all of it this week.
Your parents taught you things. They told you lessons that they wanted you to learn- yes. But they also taught you lessons by their day-to-day actions. Some of these, you might even not be aware of. How can you uncover what those lessons are? And decide if there are some that are not serving you? Let's take a look at 4 categories of beliefs and examine how to change any that you want to change.
In part 2, we will talk about planning out your next year, to fill it with moments that will make it memorable and something to truly look forward to. It doesn't matter if you like a fully packed schedule or lots of alone time and scheduled time without anything at all to do. You can plan it in the way that makes you excited and looking forward to the year. It's time to get creative and plan the life that you want to live.
How do you celebrate holidays and events throughout the year? We are going to take a deep dive into how you celebrate and WHY you celebrate in the way that you do. Do you celebrate in the ways that you learned growing up? Or have you made decisions to celebrate and to plan those events and holidays in a different way than you learned? This is part one and we will focus on holidays and how you plan for them.
What is it that you are trying to achieve yourself right now? How have you learned what to do to get to this goal? Do you search for information on line? Tips from others? Do you create your own plan to follow? How successful is it, so far? Let's talk about why it's not working and why it's a mistake to tell yourself that you know how to do this thing when it's not working. We can create a better plan of action together.
Have you ever been faced with the task of detangling a head full of hair? Where do you even start? Or maybe there is one big tangle in the back that has to come out. Let's talk about where your life has some tangles and something is just not working. Maybe you are feeling drained or like you just don't have time to do everything that you want to do or need to do. Let's come up with a plan to get those important things done so that you can move forward towards your goals!
Let's talk about the board game that we are playing! As a kid, did you play Candy Land or Chutes and Ladders? What about the game of Life? Let's talk about where you are in your real life. Are you playing the game in the best way that you can? Listen up quick so that you make sure that you are playing in the way that you want to!
When was the last time that you started something new? What made you decide to make that change? Were you unhappy? Or bored? Did someone else spur you on to make a change? Let's zoom out and look at the anatomy of making a change and starting something brand new in your life and whether or not it is worth it.
A nice, hot bowl of soup on a winter's day. The story of Stone Soup. Your life and relationship and all the people in it. What do they all have in common? And what lesson can we learn today about what kind of soup we want to represent our best life? Join me today to discuss how to make sure that you have the ingredients that you want in your soup, and what happens when there is something bad in there.
We are slowly getting older day by day. This is the inevitable truth, and sometimes that feels hard to face. Whether you have lost your parents, one parent, or you are lucky enough to have both of your parents with you still, one day you will be facing this loss. Let's take a look at ways to prepare yourself to be ready to handle this circumstance when that day comes.
What does your world look like? From your point of view? Today, we are going to take a look at your same life, your same concerns and issues and problems from a completely different vantage point. What does the world, and specifically you, look like from a bird's perspective, flying overhead and seeing everything in a completely different way? Let's compare that bird flying to the world of coaching and see the similarities, and how you can use that to propel you forward in life.
How is your life these days? Do you find yourself running around and busy all of the time? Do you ever have times when you are at an event, experiencing an activity, but your brain is somewhere else? Replaying a conversation that already happened, or picturing something that is going to happen in the future? Do you find yourself missing things that are happening in the present moment? Let's talk about how to get back to the present moment, so that you can experience some recharging and refueling.
Have you ever done one of those Fall corn mazes? Where you try different paths, and find yourself on dead-end paths, and have to backtrack to try and find the right path that will get you to the exit? Today we are going to look at the similarities between a real corn maze and your real life. How are those two things so very similar? Where are your 'dead-end' spots where you try and reach your goal but find yourself in a spot where there is no way out, but to retrace your steps and try again? This is a great episode for the beginning of Fall, before you find yourself having fun in a real corn maze.
Look around at the people in your life. Who is generally happy and who is generally unhappy? What if you could figure out what is going on, right down to the exact process that is causing one feeling vs. the other? What if you had the secret to being happy and you understood exactly how to get that in your life? Would you choose to be happy if you knew exactly how to create it? Listen to this episode and decide for yourself how easy or difficult the process is. You will be amazed at how fast we create it in our mind, from moment to moment and how habitual that process can become for most of us. This is an episode that can create a big difference in your life if you decide to use this secret for good. Happy listening!!
Why do you do the things that you do? When you make changes in your life, is it because of external factors, or internal factors? We are going to look at some examples of changes that are made and really question why we tend to change more easily for others sometimes. What does it take to make changes for ourself? This is going to be a fun one and I am going to share a personal story of my own. After this episode, you just might be more motivated to ask for, and work for, the changes that you want for yourself.
How do you wake up in the morning? With an alarm clock? Do you just wake up on your own? What are the tasks that you do in the morning? Do you have the best routine that you possibly could for yourself? If you don't, this episode, you do NOT want to miss. Having the best possible morning routine just might be the biggest thing that you can do for yourself. It will make the difference between having a regular ol' day and having a great day. Every single day. Why not set yourself up for success?
How do you get to a goal? We all know that we are supposed to get motivated to start on the journey, take the steps, one at a time towards the goal. But, today, we are talking about how to get to the finish line. How to transition from being ON the journey to being DONE with the journey and to 'have the thing'. Many of us get very close to the finish line and then we wonder why we get stuck before we reach the end. Let's take a closer look at why. This is a great episode for those who find themselves great at being on a diet and not ever seeming to reach that magic number on the scale at the end! I will share my own, very personal, story about this for me.
Skin in the game is a phrase that you have most likely heard before, maybe used yourself. But have you thought about how it can be used as an effective tool to help others get involved. Having 'skin in the game' gives someone more benefits than just taking a little bit of risk, hoping for a good outcome. We are going to talk about the way that you can use this concept in any area of your life. If you want to help others to become more involved and more invested into the group, then give this episode a listen to consider this idea.
We all listen to other people's stories, hear them complain about a problem, and defend themselves to explain to you their side and their perspective. There is a secret trick that coaches use, that will help you to look at that situation differently. Once you see it, it's hard to unsee it. Once you know it, you can actually help someone that wants help with a problem. Listen to this episode so that you will know how.
When was the last time that you got into a little tiff with your significant other? We all have those moments when we are in disagreement. If it's not with our spouse, or partner, then it can happen in the other important relationships in our life. How do you handle it? How do you wish that you handled it? I want to share some insights into when it happens in my life.
How many of us set goals for ourselves and then, somewhere along the way, we get stuck? We find that have have some goals lingering around that to-do list and we just don't accomplish them. And we might be a little stressed, because other people are seeing us not accomplish these things that they know that we want to achieve for ourselves. Let's talk, today, about the benefit of having a secret goal, that is just for us alone and that we share with no one else. Let's talk about how doing this can actually help us to achieve our bigger goals too.
This week I am sharing a small, but personal example of a moment in which I find myself instantly irritated. We all have those moments when something happens, or someone does something or says something that triggers us and we instantly feel that familiar feeling of irritation. This week will give you a practical guide for handling those moments and getting back on track, with some understanding of what is happening in those moments.
Do you ever think about the fact that we wake up each day and think about all of the things in exactly the same way that we thought about them the day before? Our brain loves consistency and 'auto-pilot'. What if we shifted one of our thoughts just a little? What effect would that having in our life? A big effect? A small one? Let's jump in with some practical examples to see what would change.
What do you picture in your mind when you think about yourself in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years? Does he or she seem like a stranger to you? How do you even start stepping in to that role when it all feels so unfamiliar and not so comfortable? We are going to talk about new habits, neural pathways, and baby steps, so that you can start becoming that future version of yourself.
Most of us budget our money based on what income is coming in and where are money seems to go out. It is done after the fact. Then we work to pay off any debts, try to save any money left over, and look to the future to when we will have extra to spend on the things that we love. Or me might spend on some of those things now, building up more debt and then feel guilty for spending after-the-fact. What if there is a different way in which you can choose where your money will go and have that extra to spend guilt-free on the things that really light you up inside? Let's take a look at what a Conscious Spending Plan is, and how it can makeover your current budget.
When a child comes to you and tells you what they accomplished: they scored a goal, they wrote their name, they shared with a friend, how do you respond? Sometimes we don't think much about exactly what we say, but is there a best way to do this? If we want to create the best possible soil for children to grow, how do we do that in a practical way? This podcast will give you the exact words to use to be the most helpful in those scenarios. Why not learn if you have the opportunity to?
Have you ever been in a situation, in which you can begin to feel angry towards someone, or something, but you weren't quite sure why? We are going to talk about anger and about how we might use that as a security blanket. What are we protecting ourself from, really? Let's jump in and take a look with some examples.
Who are your friends? Your true friends, your life-long friends? Let's have a real discussion about my friends and about why I might keep a friend and why I might not keep a friend. How do you make that decision and what is the right decision for you? Let's dive in and talk 'all things friends'.
What are other people thinking? Do we really know? I think that most of the time, we THINK that we know. And what we make someone else's thoughts mean, determines what we think, how we feel, and how we act. What happens when we become aware that we truly don't know what someone else is really thinking? Let's talk about one really fun way to handle this. One way that can completely change the amount of control that we have in this situation. One way that can make it all fun. I can't wait to share this with you.
What have you heard about manifesting? Maybe you are an expert and you easily call the things that you want to you. Or maybe you have heard a little bit, but it all sounds very woo-woo. Or, maybe it's all new to you and you are curious about what it is all about. Either way, come on in and listen to some tips and tricks to start manifesting at the highest level, whether or not you have ever tried it before. Find out how to get that open parking spot in just the right place, or that dream job, or vacation. See you there!
We all have a closet full of self-care strategies. But some of our closets are quite messy. We forget what is in there. Some things in there may no longer fit us or are just not what we really want anymore. We are going to do a closet clean-out together. Let's start by pulling everything out and finding out what is really in there. Once we are done, you will have an organized beautiful space full of strategies that you want to keep, ones that have been revitalized, and broken down into strategies that you can start right away. There might be some tossing involved as well. Let's go.
Have you ever told yourself, when you make a choice to stick to your goal or to take actions against your goal, that those small little choices didn't matter? That it was easier to take the comfortable, familiar actions that you were used to choosing every day? Here's an analogy that might be able to help you. We all want to become that version of ourself that achieves that goal and moves on to pick the next one. Let's look at why it feels so hard to get there.
We all grow up with some ideas of what is supposed to happen in our lives. And some ideas of what things are not supposed to happen. We just accept it as truth. But let's take a look at what invisible filter or layer that it creates in our life and how it can change our perception and our expectations. We probably aren't even aware that this filter is there, or that we have the power to question it and change it. Get ready for an episode that will make you think.
If you asked all of your friends, family, acquaintances what the ONE word was that described you, what would it be? Would they all come up with the same word? What would you WANT the word to be? Let's talk about what you consistently put at the forefront of how you live your life and see if it is something that you do deliberately.
What are the tiny moments of connection that you have with other people, or with yourself, that add a lot of richness and meaning to your life? Let's break them down and see what those moments have in common, so that we can add them to our life. Adding more of these moments in can bring a fullness and a lot of meaning to your existence, and we will look at how they actually take very little effort compared to the results that they bring.
This week we talk about our brain. Specifically our brain, when it is focusing on the past, when it is focusing on the future, and what we can do to get that darn thing to focus on the present moment. Why do we want to look at the present? How does it benefit us? And how can we get that energy- conserving brain to learn that skill and form the habit of being in the moment.
Let's talk about diet. We all try to eat pretty healthy, most of the time. Right? Maybe some of us more than others. There is one thing that we might be missing. A connection between what we are eating and how we are feeling every day. I am going to give you examples of when this is obvious and, in what ways, we might totally miss the boat on this. I will share with you what I am doing to reset my body this week and then you can decide if there is anything that you would like to consider changing, for the benefit of how you will feel.
When things don't go as planned, what is your reaction? Is it hard? Is there blame? Who do you blame? We tend to thing that when things are not our fault, it makes us feel better. Listen to this episode to learn the secret benefit of taking on that responsibility for our part in things. You might be surprised!
Have you ever sat at the beach and watched the surfers ride the waves? It is so fun to see them, both, succeed and ride a wave all the way in, and to see them fall, but get right back up again, paddle back out and take on another wave. Let's dive in and see what we can learn from this analogy that can help us to build our problem-solving skills and become a great surfer in the game of life.
To round up our series on temper tantrums, let's look at when adults have those same big feelings. We should know what to do, right? I mean, after all, we are adults. But sometimes our nervous system gets high-jacked. And we find ourselves in a trauma response: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. How do we un-high-jack that system and learn to do something new?
Do you have an infant in your life? At some point in time, we are around a crying baby. If you do have an infant in your life and you are in a position to help that child learn the important skill of self-soothing, then this is the episode for you. If you have an infant yourself and that baby wants to be held all the time? Then drop what is in your hands, get comfortable, and listen immediately. This episode will give you the tools that you need to pass on some skills to that baby.
This is part 2 in our Temper Tantrum mini-series. What are the things that you can be pro-active about, so that you can ward off those inevitable melt-downs before they happen? Is it possible to tantrum-proof your child? We will talk about what kind of expectations that you should have and what the practical steps are that you can take to teach a child about boundaries. As they learn to better able to handle their emotions, it will eventually lead to saying good bye to tantrums for good.
Let's do a little mini-series on temper tantrums! In part one, we are going to look at a simple 5-step approach of what to do in the moment that your child, or a child in your classroom, decides that it's all too much and it's time to scream, kick, hit, or throw themself to the floor. These can be frustrating moments for the adult, who just wants it to stop! There is so much advice out there. Let's just look at a clear procedure that will actually be helpful.
How 'many of us have made a decision, in our head, and then have begun to question that decision? Sometimes, we think the decision and then we don't voice it. Sometimes, we make the decision and then we don't do it. Sometimes, we think of what our decision 'would be', but we don't fully make it. Let's take a look at a moment this week, in which I was second-guessing my decision. Let's talk about some strategies so that we can stop that second-guessing once and for all (at least most of the time!)
Most of us want a little more fun in our lives. At least sometimes. But we will get to that, when we can. When we have time. After the work; the chores; the bills. If we have more fun, more play-time it would be great. A little something extra. Let's change this thinking right now and consider a better way. Take a little stroll with me back to when you were a child today. Let's go.
This is an amazing episode for those of you who would like to make one simple change to the way that you think that can make hard things easier. I am going to share with you my recent change in the function of a simple machine, aka my brain, that is having a huge impact on my life. If it is working for me, it just might work for you too. This is a great episode for those that have been really struggling to reach a particular goal, for a long time.
How do you work on your goals? I am going to bet that you have a goal that you work on, in quite the same way that I have in the past. You think that you have a good routine, some good discipline in place, and you look at others who are sticking to their plan a bit more, and you judge a bit. We don't want to follow some strict routine perfectly. That is no fun. I agree. But, what is the mistake that a lot of us make in confusing following a plan in a disciplined way, and following it perfectly? There is a very common mistake that most of us make that will trip us up every time. Listen, and decide for yourself.
What do you do when you are frustrated? Does it ever feel like you are banging your head against the wall? And what does that even mean? Maybe you keep trying the same solutions to a problem that you are having, over and over, but it just doesn't work? Let's look at why, as we talk about what is happening in your brain when you do this.
You are invited to a wedding! But it's not about any brides or any grooms. We are going to talk about your long term goals and 'marrying' them to your short term goals and to your daily actions. Let's dive into this analogy to see why coming to this wedding will make your every-day life happier!
Tis the season.... for colds and flu. Everyone that I know is sick right now. How can we take this and really turn it into a lesson for us? One that we can use to make our life better? Let's talk about the idea that 'both things can be true'. What does it have to do with being sick? And how can we use it in our life?
From a little conversation about children's different nap routines, came an idea that can be used to think about how to make our lives a little bit better. Does our life need more routine? Or more flexibility in it? Let's talk about a simple technique that can be used, either with children, or with ourselves.
I have a brand new idea that I can't wait for you to hear! Let's look at the idea of leveling up in your life, from one version to another as you learn new skills and make new commitments. Who knows how far you can go as you continue to think of new levels to take on. I will go through the exact procedure that you can use to make your life better and a little happier, one level at a time.
How long is your to-do list? Or is that list all in your head, swirling around, as your brain tries to remember all of those little tasks that you need to complete, while it's also judging you for not getting started on the bigger tasks? Let's take 15 minutes to talk about the feeling of overwhelm and what you can do to tame it once and for all, so that you can get back to feeling in-charge of your life.
Who are you, now, and who will you be in the future? For many of us, the future us might resemble, pretty closely, who we are right now. But what are the things that you would want to be different? I have a tool that I want to share with you that will pretty much guarantee that those aspects of you CAN be different, in just the way that you would want. Spend 15 minutes with me and begin meeting that next version of yourself that you would choose to be. Let's go.
Today we are talking about groups and belonging to a group. There are a lot of coaching programs out there that offer different types of programs, and some a network to belong to as well. We are going to look at these and I will introduce you to my new program!
We all know that connection is so important in our lives. Meeting, talking to, understanding other people has a lot of benefits. But I want to talk about one weird little benefit that I get, from listening to other people and giving them grace. Listen up to this episode, especially if you can tend to be hard on yourself at times.
Have you ever set a goal, and then spent an abundant amount of time researching, planning, taking baby steps towards the goal, but not take that final leap to the finish line? We all have. I have a little bit of wisdom that I gathered from the incredible week that I spent at Conscious Discipline Advanced Institute this week that I would love to share with you. Come and spend 14 minutes with me and see if it can help you jump.
When you have a problem that your brain is turning around and around, or maybe you are even helping someone else think about a problem that they are having, how many answers do you really consider? I think that we tend to, either stay in the problem longer than necessary, or we beat ourselves up for not taking steps toward the one, right solution to the problem. Let's re-consider thinking about that one, right answer.
What are those great big goals that you dream of? The ones that seem beautiful, fun, and kind of scary? The ones that you aren't working toward day after day, even though you want to? Let's take a look at the strategy that can get you out of that cycle and start you moving towards something fun, now.
We all have things that we dream about and wish for in our life. We might have some of those things that we want, but we just aren't getting. Maybe we haven't fully committed to making those things happen. Let's take a look at what we ARE committing to, when we aren't achieving the goals that we set. It might surprise you.
What is the thing that you find yourself thinking about, over and over again, but you feel that you never get to a solution?? Do you have something? I think that we all have that one thing, or several things, that we don't want to be spending so much brain power on. Listen today, and find another way to think about it that can help you get to the solution!
What happens when we get triggered? The Doorbell is a fun analogy that will give you a look at what happens when someone 'pushes our button'. Let's start with a simple story of a child who wants something and tries to hit Mom to get what they want. Learn how 'disengaging the doorbell' can be the answer that we are looking for so that we can stay in the driver's seat of a situation.
Let's talk about kids. Either you know kids, you work with kids, you have kids in your family, or, at the very least, you used to be one yourself. Kids have feelings: lots of feelings. What are the things that they learn that help or hurt, when it comes to knowing what to do with their feelings? I have a super simple technique that can help. It sounds so easy, but it can have a huge impact on how that child grows up and either functions in the best possible way, or whether or not that adult avoids their feelings by eating them, drinking them, or doing other things that they don't want to do so much, to avoid their feelings. This is a little bit longer episode, but if you ever find yourself running away from an emotion, you might just find a simple way to re-parent yourself.
How giving are you? Some of us are guilty of giving and giving to others, but might give in to others, as well, or not feel like it is as worthy for us to give to ourselves. Some of us want things from others, but forget in those instances that there can be an opportunity to give. Let's take an inventory together of how giving we actually are and look for those areas in which we can be better- especially if it is to ourselves!
Who are YOU? The real, authentic YOU? I bet that your friends and family see a lot of it, but what are the other parts that you might keep inside, hidden and waiting to come out someday? Or that you keep down, because we want to keep other people happy or comfortable? We were raised to be polite and to put others' needs before our own, right? Let's take a look at the little parts of you that are ready to see the light.
When was the last time that you had a sleepless night? If you tend to have more of those, than less, then when was the last time that you had a great night's sleep? If sleep eludes you, then come and spend 10 minutes with me. You are not alone! Let's think about the importance of sleep, your brain, and having a well-rested day!
When someone asks you, "If you could go back and be ANY age that you wanted to be, how old would you be?", what is YOUR answer? I want to talk to you today about why MY answer is the answer that it is. How do you think about YOUR life, from a timeline perspective? Let's consider some other perspectives of your life, as a whole. I want to share my perspective about the '2nd half' of your life.
How many goals do you have? Ones that you aren't quite getting to? The way to be moving on down the road to those goals is through the daily and weekly habits that you have. Then, why is it that your brain wants to fight you so hard on starting new habits and keeping up with them? Let's take a look at what your brain is doing and how you can circumvent your brain's goal to keep you from changing.
Have you ever heard of the concept of the 'User Manual' for other people? We all grow up with ideas of what other people should or should not do. We can find ourselves thinking that what other people do or don't do cause us to feel a certain way. We might be sad, mad, frustrated by what is happening around us and we SWEAR that we can't help it! Let's take a look at how you can actually change this in a way that doesn't hurt. That isn't even that hard to do! Listen and see if it can work for you.
Have you ever been part of a group? I bet that throughout your life, you have belonged to several groups, most likely: both officially and unofficially. Here are my thoughts on my new attachment to this group of 'Jeep Wrangler owners', and how it relates to our community as a whole and belonging. How can you take the idea of 'belonging' and make a better life for yourself? And for others around you?
So you think that you know what self-care looks like? All of those things that should be on your to-do list and your calendar to take better care of yourself? And treat yourself? Let's burn it all down and think about it differently! Let's talk about why some of those things don't work and how it feels to wish you were doing them, to have to do them. Let's talk about how to really care for yourself and bring some joy to your life.
How do YOU do boundaries? How well do yours work? MOST people make boundaries by coming up with rules that other people should follow. We are going to talk about why that doesn't tend to work and how that can make you unhappy when others just don't follow your rules!
But the good news is: there is an easy, simple way to make boundaries for yourself that DOES work. Other people can just go about being who they are and you can protect yourself in a way that will actually make you happier.
Does it sound too good to be true? Just give a listen here and see for yourself!
Yes, there are universal truths that are passed down from generation to generation. Let's explore one them: the idea that life is good and bad for everyone. Don't believe me? Take a listen to this episode, so that you can start to consider how to take this principle and turn it into a tool that you can use to make your life more exciting and more fun!
Are YOU your brain? Or is your brain part of you? What about your thoughts? Do they belong to you? Or your brain? Can you trust them? Let's look at this idea that your brain likes to play games with you sometimes and what you can do to take back control.
We all like to feel comfortable and it is a normal human response to delay discomfort. Choosing discomfort now sounds like this coach-y advice that just sounds like a lot of BS. Why would we want to be uncomfortable? And what does it have to do with our goals anyway? The truth is that we do spend time being uncomfortable and I will explain in this episode. I want to give you a new way to think about comfort and discomfort and help you to understand how you can use this to actually make you happier and to help you achieve your goals.
Do you have some goals? Do you have some goals that you just don't seem to be getting to or making progress on? Do you ever feel stuck? If so, then listen here and we can explore the idea of why. We tell ourselves that, if we would only take the action steps necessary, we could achieve all of those things that we dream of doing. But what is the one thing that can hold us back?
We all know the common advice to get us on the path to happiness, right? Positive attitude, connect with others, live in the moment. But there is one secret. You need to know this common block to happiness. I see it all of the time and we just aren't aware of it. Once you know, you will spot it everywhere. Once you know it, you can't 'unknow it.' Join me now for Episode #1 of "My Coach Kate, the Podcast!"