The Thriving Teen: Recent Episodes
Kelsey Komorowski
Welcome to The Thriving Teen Presented by Kelsey Komorowski and the Komo Team. A podcast that shows parents how to transform their struggling teens into confident thinkers with the skills to succeed not just on the next test or the essay, but in life. Each week we'll take a deep dive into the real reasons your child struggles in school and we'll explore the exact strategies you can implement starting today to support your child's growing autonomy while creating a culture of lifelong learning in your home. We know that positive, sustainable transformation happens when students and parents are empowered with simple and proven strategies for learning and achievement and THAT is what Komo is all about.
In this episode, we cover the roles and responsibilities of teachers, parents and students for the school year. It's impossible for parents and students to do their best when there is a fundamental misunderstanding of what our respective roles are. Most students think that just showing up for school is good enough, they don't understand what they're actually responsible for (i.e. actively managing and engaging in their work!). Does this sound like your child? Take a listen to this extra special episode to make sure your child is set up for success!
Prepare to get inspired. Today, Kelsey interviews Melanie Cruickshank, Founder & CEO of Dalish Cosmetics, a clean and green global cosmetics brand that she started in her Toronto kitchen.
She shares her journey from a student with dyslexia who didn't think she'd make it through high school, to building a make-up empire that has partnered with Whole Foods, Barbie, Air Canada and more.
From sharing the mindset that helped her launched a wildly successful career in advertising to how learning to manage her time removed 95% of her stress and anxiety, Melanie is a case study in how attitude, determination and self-confidence can create your own success story.
Lots of gems in here, including:
"No one limits you like yourself. I use to think of all the reasons I shouldn't do this or talk to that person...but now I know that when you set your mind on something, you CAN accomplish it."
"I learned a lesson a long time ago, and it was a hard lesson: no one is coming to save you. But also that nobody can build your confidence the way you can. When you rescue yourself, it is such an empowering moment that no one can take from you."
"Do you know how many times I hear no? You put yourself on the line and somebody rejects you, it SUCKS. But now, it doesn't even shake up my day. At the end of the day, if someone says no to you, ASK WHY. What can you help me improve? What can I learn from you? Anytime someone has something to say, I never listen to it in a negative way, I listen to it thinking I'm only going to get better because of this."
And last but not least, why she is the self-described 'little engine that could' and why she always tries to "think like a man."
Skills takeaways: time management / having a schedule, discipline Take a listen!
Today’s inspirational guest is an experienced and inspirational global health professional. A consultant for the World Health Organization (WHO), Stefanie Freel shares her outstanding story about carving out an authentic career and embracing open-mindedness and resilience in the workplace.
Stefanie developed a passion for psychology in high school but never imagined she would be involved in creating global action plans supporting dementia and health caregivers. After kicking off her career with the Ministry of Health in Toronto, she shares how not just being open to opportunities but pro-actively creating them for yourself has been key to her academic and professional success.
Stefanie’s journey emphasizes the value of resourcefulness and taking initiative, and she details specific strategies students (and professionals!) can use to do the same. She shares a lot of insights for building resilience and breaking the stigma around reaching out to people for help. A few of our favorites:
“Be humble, don’t expect too much, view everything as an opportunity and try your best to build on your work and the skills you already have.”
“There are always going to be challenges you will have to overcome and new skills and knowledge to learn.”
Skills takeaway: Open-mindedness, flexibility, and being proactive
From deciding to go to university in a different country to leaving a stable, high-ranking job to pursue her passion, Stefanie’s journey illustrates that staying true to your interests and seeking to continuously learn above all else lead to good things. You won’t want to miss this one!
If any of your kids are interested in a creative career, my interview with successful writer Mike MacDonald is a must listen!
Mike MacDonald wanted a career in creative writing but he was shy. In high school, he didn't want to show his work in case it wasn't any good. What has he learned since forging a career as a successful writer?
Your writing isn't going to be good at the start - writing anyway is how you get good. Rejection and criticism are part of the process of rising to the top of the field.
Tune in as Mike shares his journey from pursuing political science at one of the best schools in the world, to doing a 'goofy' graduate dissertation that was true to his interests and that he stuck with despite naysayers. Good thing too, as that dissertation is what started him down the path to getting paid to write jokes.
Since then, he has worked for the biggest newspaper in Canada, covered elections with the CBC, done speech-writing for the United Nations, worked full-time at The Onion and published 3 books.
Skills takeaway: skill-build in contexts you genuinely enjoy (ie building writing skills by writing jokes)
Some other invaluable distinctions:
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If you think you're not good at writing/math/[insert thing here], it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy - you won't be any good because you've chosen to believe as much. Believe you can become better, do the things to become better, and you will become better.
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Want a career out of doing what you love most (ie playing video games)? That is do-able, BUT it will still take hard work, perseverance and a strong skill-set to make that happen.
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You have to set realistic expectations. If you're a C student, don't aim for an A. Move to C+ first. Then go for low B's. Then high B's. It's a process.
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Find people who are doing what you want to do. Ask them how they got there - their habits, routines, work ethic. Emulate. For Mike, it was the creator of Rick & Morty, who he worked alongside before he created Rick & Morty (and Mike shares what he learned from him here!).
Diane's son checked out when COVID hit. He was completely disengaged from online learning. “I thought he wasn’t doing his work because he didn’t care. That’s not the case at all. He DOES care. He was just so lost he didn’t know where to begin.” Then she tapped into the transformative power of learning how to learn. Of skill-building done right. And she got her son on a (much) happier and healthier path. “The transformation that he had is incredible. I hadn’t put two and two together how important self-confidence is...it’s not about tutoring or teaching, this is about them feeling GOOD about themselves. And it makes such a difference in their progress. I didn’t understand how much. It’s giving them self-esteem, the motivation to excel. If he doesn’t have self-esteem, there’s nothing. There’s no foundation. There’s no hope to even try.” Diane’s story is incredibly powerful and will resonate with many of you. Take a listen.
There was a while when Lori felt like a drill sergeant, nagging her son constantly to keep him on track with school work. This was a common pattern in high school - Lori wanting to help without having to be at him all the time.
So in David’s first year of college, where he was almost on a full ride scholarship and the transition from high school seemed to go OK, Lori knew she had to give him greater autonomy (which she did).
Then, towards the end of his first term, she found out that her son was almost failing. His scholarships were in jeopardy. He was certain he could bring his grades up, but it only went from D to F.
As you might imagine, this was devastating to Lori and her husband.
Fast forward to the end of David’s first year of college. Not only are his grades way better but he’s like “a different kid.” He’s taking initiative on his own accord, answering Lori’s questions about school without making her feel like a nag, and even reading a book for pleasure for the first time (!!).
Lori faced a lot of worries and doubts shared by many parents, and I know her insights will be really valuable to some of you.
Amelia had a hard transition to high school. She was afraid of how hard it would be, not least because she didn't know how she'd balance her school work with being a national swimmer (20 hours/WEEK of swimming on top of school). She overcame significant challenges throughout high school, especially with doing well in school and mental health, and is now thriving on scholarship in university. Amelia's story is incredibly inspiring and likely to resonate with your teen, tune in now!
This one is for parents who wish their kids were doing better academically, but might especially resonate with Moms of teen boys who just aren't showing interest in school. Hockey, basketball, friends? Definitely. Homework or studying? Not so much. Sharon was worried about her Grade 8 son for a few reasons. 1. Sebastian didn’t connect with his teacher at all. 2. He'd always liked school but not this year. He stopped getting assignments in on time. It got harder and he felt like he wasn’t smart enough to do well anymore. 3. Despite the fact that he’d done well academically in the past, and worked hard to improve in hockey and basketball, he seemed to show an inherent laziness towards school work.
Above all, what worried Sharon the most was that she didn’t know how to help. She knew things would persist as they were or get worse, and she feared what was in store if her son didn’t regain his confidence before starting high school. Deep down she knew he wanted to do better, but didn’t know how. Tune in to hear in her own words how she turned things around.
In today's episode, we covered the topic of transitioning from in-person school to virtual school and vice versa. We dive deep into navigating change and challenges, and how we can actually set our kids up for success and impactful learning.
This episode details strategies and mindsets for optimizing learning success, regardless of educational environments that are too often out of control since COVID hit.
We asked our families recently: "What's the #1 thing you want to see for your child by the end of the month?" One of the top answers? Stress. We discuss 3 shifts on how to eliminate stress: * Getting your child clear on what they want for themselves. * Understanding and recognizing how your child manages and engages with stress. * Coping mechanisms your child can use.