DawkDestro: Recent Episodes
DawkDestro - Beams.fm
Rapper, Writer and Licensed Clinical Therapist.
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Hey yo, dropped to the floor, spin around you, you got it to, to hurt something. Little shorty farted. Everybody out the house smelled like she's cottage toot, toot heard something, little shorty farted, little shorty farted together. Joint was nasty. Er Body crying out, the cloud just passed me, had me tearing up my throat, clearing up, coughing down the hallway, my lungs just breathin dust that rump shaker causing all this distress. No wonder Shorty had that brown circle on a dress, hit the deck, can't stand it no more bro. Get some pepto bismol. She's breaking out the door now, Shorty about to be an urban legend. Repentance. That gotta be a sin against the heavens. I met her in class. That was the next day. Shorty started sweating, embarrassed, I'd say I spoke first said the party was okay, she replied. Someone farted, my mind delayed She's looking for someone to freaking blame girl. I know you tooted that up. You should be ashamed.
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Alright, so topic, the racing mind. So my brain, it's just like never seems to turn off as far as like thinking about all sorts of things, whether it's outcomes, events of the day etcetera. There's a part like infinity war, you know, marvel's infinity ward where Doctor Strange is like his head's moving on fast because he's like trying to figure out all the outcomes of like, you know how they can survive and when the big fight against Thanos, right? Thanos? Thanos anyway, um that's me all the time, like, and believe me, I'm no wise man or anything like that, I'm just, my mind is constantly racing, thinking about outcomes and what I need to do next. I'm trying to think of like times where my mind is at peace. I think my mind is at peace when I'm just lounging around like laying around with my family, just my wife and my son and I'm telling you like that's where I'm just like chilling. Like no thoughts just having fun with them and laughing, right? Super cheesy. But also hanging out with my friends, like going out, going to Top Golf Founder if you guys know about top Golf but just hitting the golf ball, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm picking out and cracking up, you know, having fun with my friends, so I feel like in the end recreational activity it really helps me out with my racing mind
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man I haven't posted in a long time. Um So many changes going on in my life. I think one of the biggest ones are seeing my son going to middle school. Um I can't, I have a hard time watching him grow and I think one of the things that really gets me is um and becoming his own person, it's scary to watch, but it's also um I also I just get very proud because I'm seeing him turn into someone who's reflective and just very self aware of how his impact on others. Um So again, I definitely think this has been a beautiful journey just watching him grow up. But it's also very scary because I know the world is ready to try to eat them up and sounds very dark, but I just hope that I prepared him enough to be able to withstand what the world has to offer him especially being someone who is so empathetic. Uh so those are my thoughts. Um Middle school is a jungle and hopefully I've given him enough guidance and will continue to do so to have him survive. It all sounds very dark. Sorry about this guys
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dark destro here um something else I wanted to talk about. Um So my mom is Puerto Rican, My dad is black and growing up being in a multiracial family, it was definitely an experience. Um I remember like a lot of kids growing up, they'd see my mom and they're like, yo your mom is white, I know your mom was white you know? And I'm like no my mom's Puerto Rican because you know she was very light, you know, light and fair skin. And then my dad being dark skinned, you know, they look at me and my dad and they're like huh? You know? So yeah kids are always trying to wrap their heads around my identity and luckily I had my sister to grow up with with me and she's only a year younger and we both were able to prove ourselves unfortunately right? Like we always had to prove our identity, so we'd speak spanish back and they're like you all can't speak spanish and we'd have to prove it and they're like okay you do sound spanish, you know? So and I look back, I'm like why were these kids always obsessed with like our identity and what we do, you know who we related to the most as far as race, and it was almost like they were like pick a side, you know and now looking back, I'm just thinking they had their own identity issues as well as a lot of kids do and race is such a strong like strong thing in this country to be obsessed over. Um So I just feel like you know, there was a lot of confusion about identity and maybe they were just pushing it onto us, you know what I mean? Alright, that's about it for that topic piece.
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Okay, Yo, Dark Destro here, man just popped into my head. So of course, I wanted to run my mouth about it. I was thinking about music um what does music done for me? You know, I was introduced to music when I was a kid, um you know, listening to, you know, back then we had record players and I know some of you are like, what the hell is a record player. But yeah, and uh my first album was Michael Jackson thriller. Uh, and listening to him and just kind of repeating it, and me and my friends would go downstairs put on thriller and try to break dance to it and yeah, it looked horrible and it looked like I look like an idiot, I'm pretty sure. But anyway, um yeah, that opened my eyes and it wasn't until adulthood when I started to actually try to create music myself. Um I love to write and I just put the things together. Music writing and what is that equal rapping, singing, I cannot sing by the way. And it's such a release, it's a new release, a release I didn't realize I needed and actually, you know, um it's something I cannot not do. So I take breaks, which I think breaks are good um from music at times, but I do love it. It is a passion of mine and I don't think I can live without it, you know? So for all my music lovers out there, shout out to all of y'all, we're all in the same boat, we're obsessed with music
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Good morning, this is dark. Destro and thoughts for the day at least for now. Um Hey, my wife's out of town and I got to get my son ready for school. My wife's been out of town for four days and I'll tell you what, um it's a handful like and I have just one son. So yes, it's not that big of a deal for some, but I've had to really be hands on with the project, he had to get done. Um I got to get them ready for school next, get there on time and of course I'll be at my own job late today because of it, but just definitely appreciate um the partnership I have with my wife when it comes to how we, you know, get my son prepped up and ready to roll, but I really started thinking about those who are single parents who don't get that help and um you know, I definitely think to myself like, wow, you know, it's a struggle for me, how do they do it? You know? So, and my wife, by the way, she was raised by a single parent and definitely respect her mother all the more for that. Um so for those who are raising kids by themselves, I want to say that you guys are magnificent. I mean it's all the respect in the world
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Yo, this girl a mystery. I've never seen her before. Green eyes and thick thighs dancing solo. She's sexy for show hold up, hold up, My eyes is tearing up right now I see a showdown. This girl is dancing wild to the sound, grabbing my homies, I'm like yo look at this chick, she got the drip, curves, wavy hair, she's swinging them hips, The DJ playing the track, got this girl hypnotized, she looking drunk and love Beyonce, bedroom eyes. See I got knowledge and wise to every nationality and race. This foreign girl, exotic. I'm confused, make no mistake, had enough. I got to approach this girl with no hesitation, did my little two steps to the rhythm, moving closely facing did the Berman with my hand rubbed ready for conversation? Slowly raised my eyes thinking hotel invitation. She stared back at me. I was like dinner on a hot ass plate. My soul started to shake. I swore my balls were levitate this witchcraft for real Caribbean grandma warned me about this, the sexy girl rubber necklace and felt my soul getting dismissed
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What is love, baby? Don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no mo Alright, yes, that's the next topic. What is love, wow. People have been debating this for centuries, eons and beyond. Okay, that sounds like some buzz Lightyear. But yeah, what is love to put it simply for me? Love is sacrifice. Um Love is a word I threw around a lot as a teenager telling girls over the phone that I love them repeatedly, them saying I love you back and then thinking, wow, this is what love is. I thought love was being physically intimate with somebody 24/7 and hooking up and that was just part of it, right? Like expressing yourself physically is it's normal but was their sacrifice involved when I was infatuated back then, you know with with a girl. So what is love? It's sacrifice, it's putting um others before you, it's um respect, it's faith, it's trust, it's all those things, it's beautiful honestly. And then when you find it, don't let it go for real, for real peace
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Yes, sir. Alright. Another topic I'm in the zone, so I gotta keep it moving. Anger. Anger so bad, right? Anger. Something that it's naughty, right? Like uh that's what we're taught as kids. Don't be mad at people, don't be angry. I think that's so so messed up that we were trained to think that anger was so bad. Anger is part of who we are. Anger is a natural human emotion. The problem is we tend to let anger take over and then we do things that, you know, I could be totally in the wrong. So yes, anger is a natural feeling and we all should feel it, but it's what do we do with the anger once we have it? The best thing to do with anger, you express it um But not in a hurtful manner where you destroy people that is wrong. So what you do with that anger is you use it to motivate yourself, you use it to do practical things to help resolve the anger. Whether it's having a structured conversation, you know, with a good result at the end, you know, conclusion or you know, you use it to motivate you to pursue other goals. You know, you use anger as fuel to make it to achieve. Those are my thoughts
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dr astro here reporting for duty sir. It's like, yes, I was never in the military but both my parents fun fact, they were both military police. That's how they met my mom being Puerto Rican coming straight from the islands. My dad from south Carolina gaffney, south Carolina. Actually they met as military police. Isn't that cute Alright. They divorced y'all wasn't a happy ending. But anyway, next topic, goals, man, goal setting. What are my goals? I'd like to write a book this year. It seems so far fetched. Secondly, I want to start a I have an idea, I have an idea and I want to get that idea growing and planned and alive. Does that make sense? I want to make sure that this idea that's been birthed in my mind comes into fruition and manifests itself into reality. So, boom, this summer I'm attacking that idea and stay tuned for that. Um, I hope you guys are setting up goals for yourself because you know what? We're here for a reason and we all have a purpose peace
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Yes sir. Doctors Trebek it's now 2 36 am Memorial day weekend. And this is my third topic of the night or the morning I should say. Alright here it is hero complex. Me dark. Destro Yes. I grew up with a hero complex. I had to save everybody. And guess what? Your boy's still got that complex. I don't know what the hell it is, where it came from. I think I like watched too many marvel movies maybe. Well back in the day it was more comics. I definitely read a lot of comics and I did look at my dad as a hero. He seemed so strong, he seemed so unstoppable, you know, and now he has dementia and he's a different person. But I'm not going to forget my first hero. That's my dad and I guess I'm still following in his footsteps trying to be a hero to my son, try to be a hero to my middle schoolers that I'm a school counselor for. And I guess clients, but guess what? You gotta be careful with that because you put too much on your plate and put too much on your shoulders. The burden increases and you can really, really burn yourself out. So all those out there that have a hero complex is like myself. You need to chill, give yourself a break, cut yourself some slack peace
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Yes. Hello, it's dark. Destro again. My next topic for tonight at 2:30 AM. Memorial Day weekend is insomnia. Say it with me, insomnia and I'm pretty sure my enunciation is garbage right now, but let me let me continue. So last year insomnia snuck up on me like a vulture in the night. Never experienced it. I loved sleeping. You don't understand. I could sleep till two in the afternoon bro loved it. But last year it was very special, very special. So yeah, insomnia was my new friend. Um at first it freaked me out and I'm like why can't I sleep? And then, and then I welcomed it. I basically accepted it and said, hey my body will crash at some point, screw this, oh well I'll be up all night and you know what's weird? That actually helped? I embraced it man and now I sleep five hours. Yes, it's still garbage and I guess I'm still struggling with it. But you know what? I'm proud of myself for embracing it, if that makes any sense, embrace it and hopefully get into a routine and get over it peace
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Dr astro here late night. I tried to go to sleep tonight, Then woke up at two and I don't feel like going back to sleep, whatever. So yeah, thoughts. My thoughts for tonight, fears, fears. I used to not affect me at all. I would say most of my youth was me being reckless and not giving a what and fears was laughable fears made me laugh, fears. I dove interferes as I age as I grow older. That's no longer the case. Um fears have become a wall of shame for me now. It's uh I don't bust through that wall like I used to much more cautious and I hate it. I despise it and I want to revert back to my reckless days, not where there's consequences, but more so the fearlessness I once had. And I wonder sometimes if other people go through this now anyway, those are my thoughts. I hate fear and I'm gonna do my dampness. Is that a word to overcome it again? Like I did once upon a time peace.
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man, let me tell you the life of a lactose intolerant human being, it's so tough. So I love cheese, I love ice cream, I love it all the first time I realized I was lactose intolerant. How's the Disney world with my family and my mom, it was an awesome day until well, you know, I had a nice banana split sundae before we went to Disney got there. My stomach, it was like a war zone and I'm not talking about toilet rim shots, I'm talking about, my stomach was popping, it was bubble guts central. Anyway, my mom, you know, I'm much older, I'm an adult married man, kid. My mom started treating me like a little boy and she's like, are you okay honey? You know she's Puerto Rican. So she got that accent. You okay honey? You okay? I got home machine gun funk all up in that toilet. I came out, my wife staring at me and I looked at her and I said, I think I'm lactose intolerant. She busted out laughing. I was embarrassed as hell. And that is the origin story of my lactose intolerance. Today I had pizza, you do the math. It's been a struggle, This is dark. Destro signing off
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Hey man, I'm at a gas station, right? This popped into my head to see, I told you I got a big mouth bro, I can keep talking rule number one. If you're a husband out there, let me tell y'all something. Don't ever let your wife pump gas. I don't know where I got that from. I don't know why I'm like this, but having your wife pump gas, bro, Especially Oh my gosh, this is a disgrace if you're in their presence bro, and you're letting your wife pump gas, you a punk. I'm sorry there's something about that. I don't know, maybe I'm old school, but you can't have your wife pump gas number one. Any woman for that matter, if you're, it's just to me, it's a man thing, I'm sorry, I sound chauvinist, secondly don't leave her with no empty tank bro, Like leaving your wife with an empty tank or girlfriend, whoever you're with, leaving them with an empty tank of gas. That's a that's a bum move man. So anyway, as I feel this truck up with gas, I pat myself on the back for being a gentleman, being a good man and making sure my wife never drives off on an empty tank of gas. So for all y'all that let women pump gas while you're sitting in the car looking like a little old punk, don't do it no more. All right, that's it. Peace
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I'm on a roll alright so you know I'm commuting so I can talk a lot when I commute, how does it feel to get jumped? Huh? That that's the topic. So I got jumped when I was a kid, you know? Um And I'll tell you what you go into this environment. You think to yourself I'm cool with everybody, I'm good right? All of a sudden it seems as if there's another faction right? There's another group that just does not feel you that just has an issue with you for you being you you know, so again this is my you know I'm just a kid at the time so I'm at the you know I'm outside next thing I know you know and again this is recess by the way I'm a child, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding. Next thing I know these kids gathered up man and boom I was getting jumped and right next to the monkey bars bro, I was like you know getting messed up, I looked to the left, see my sister just watching me luckily I was always thick, you know what I'm saying? So I tried to handle my best I could but I'll tell you what after that after that you start to think dang there are really people out here that don't like me bro. So I think you know looking back at my feelings, I'm thinking to myself, you know what I think I learned then that not everyone's gonna like you you know it's pretty sad actually, right
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Yeah. Another one. Yeah. This is another thing that's on my mind a lot. Um Keeping your personal life from work. Keeping your personal life away from work. I was one of those people that would bring all my drama to work. I was in a once upon a time. I was in a horrible relationship and um I would come to work. I talked about my relationship to everybody. Um and it just started to seep into other areas in my workplace. I started to talk trash about people at my job. I gossiped a lot. It was almost as if that toxic relationship I was in seeped into work and all of a sudden my workplace environment became toxic because of my big mouth, basically. And what helped me one time is one time, this co worker of mine, I was came in. I was like, has this ever happened to you? And I was complaining about my you know, the person I was a relationship with and she looked me dead in the face and said no, she acted as if I had nothing. I'd like, she didn't know what I was talking about right then and there. Whether she knew it or not, she helped me realize, keep my mouth shut about my personal business when it comes to my coworkers. After that next thing I know things started going smoother at work, my co workers commented about how confident I was all because I stopped bringing my drama to work. Stop bringing that drama to work. Y'all
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next topic? What makes a healthy family? Is it a two parent household, is it um no, you know, drug involvement by any family member, is it? Um perfect roles that have been um chosen whether it's you know, someone who brings home the bacon meaning like you know, they're they're the breadwinner while the others housewife or you know what, what is it that's healthy? That's the question everyone asks themselves. Um I believe the most important thing is love very cliche, very corny, but it's the truth, I mean in my experience with Children, as long as they feel loved, supported and that they feel safe, that right there is half the battle, do they need a strong man in their lives? Do they need a strong mother in their lives? You know that that's up for debate, you know, I feel like what what's most important is that love is their support is there. And another thing that's so important is that they feel that they can accomplish things in this world, that a child can feel like they can accomplish things and that someone believes in them, I think those are like huge factors when it comes to growing a healthy child and also having a happy household where everyone kind of like has that mutual respect
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So this is part Two because I still have time before I go see. My client actually is telehealth. I do a lot of online um therapy as well as an in person. Uh covid kind of changed things, but yeah. Um yeah, I was just talking to a buddy of mine, you know, over the recent shootings and um, you know, gun control, things like that, you know, very political um stuff and you know, it could it could split up friendships that could split up families when it comes to uh people's opinions on the matter, but straight up and down. Like for me, just the fact that kids died, that that's the part that messes me up. I look at middle school kids all day, you know, I'm also a school counselor as well as a therapist after work. And when I talked to these students and when I talk to my clients as well, um, all I ever hear is just, you know, they haven't experienced life yet. Some of them may be a bit too much on the dark end of things, on the evil end of things. You know, they shouldn't have seen some things in their lives, but ultimately they have so much more life to live. So when I hear about these kids getting their lives taken, it breaks my heart. They have so much more life to live. You know what I'm saying? Alright, that's about it for the day. At least for now, I just want to share my thoughts dr
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So I'm gonna take you guys on a journey journey into my life. Me dark. Destro A. K. A. D. M. V King A. K. A. The dark. Yeah, I've been rapping for a long time. A long, long time. I'm old as hell. So yeah, on top of that in about 15 minutes I have a client. So I'm also a therapist deep. Right? So I do both. You know, I do both of them and enjoy it thoroughly. And um, you know when I rap, I usually rap about my life experiences, which I've had quite a lot and then uh also rap about, you know, the psychological component of things, you know what I'm saying? So, um, yeah, I'll be talking randomly and sometimes I'll be dropping lyrics and I hope that you guys enjoy it and I'll be sharing a bit of who I am. Um, have a heart for kids. So I do a lot of therapy for kids, you know, middle school age and have a heart for rap. So you might hear me on Spotify, you might hear me on an app called rap chat etcetera, etcetera. So yeah, welcome to my world bro. And he'd be getting crazy. All right, take care of y'all
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Hot 16. Let's go! Darkest like storms forming during lunar eclipse, like vantage clouds manage rain when my voice starts to lift clips, crumble avalanche. When I'm in my battle stand Simpsons against me. Turn the gravel. Ain't got a chance standing and fallen land. So many got conquered, lyrical monster Spiritual. Making your soul just bounce up, surround you in your territory. One that glory ignoring surrender. Genghis khan growing, warned me warnings my arrival. My rivals are big madam, straight with skill and delivery, but for them it just zigzag punchlines. You missed that mediocrity, the norm. You'll be copying mary images, deformed. Gemini born sworn enemy event, and they're lacking originality. Y'all dismantling genesis and revelation. Reality blowing horns and break seals because it's my 15th ball. 16, scarring eagles, 96 ft fall. Forgive me, God! Resurrecting dead for another round. Unannounced breaking bones til the gelatin found moving the crown's rusting decay over time. But devising Mia's royalty succession is mine.
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Flowing on waves of nostalgia, there's different building. Seven days creations of mission reminiscing. Clocked a time going backwards, going faster. Knowledge completely mastered disaster strikes when I flip mode, so called bus rides fast, low conglomerate now knows Ogando maybe wallets, wannabe tribes on the quest and solve it evolved with young emcees, just busting moves, drinking funky cold medina is with the two left crew, then a boom of the system, Mama said, knock them out on the type of guy changing and then maybe, no doubt 95 south crews and meeting tootsie rolls, not riding the train. There it is, watching go running this track to the far side of the beat, this, that hip hop history. I'm just serving at bon appetit
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lust and desire. Fire within exploding thoughts in my mind unhinged. When do we start impulsive nature, frustration. Come adrenaline. Take you caught up in vapors drunken love. One single touch. Talk dirty and cuss over the rush. I feel your strength of feminine quality shaking intense. Now we all spent romantic vibes. The man would repeat a fantasy live. I can't deny the way you move a motion, voting the waves of soothe. I'm gonna lose my self control mentality driving me and you the goal. This how it goes when our passion arises you. The invited. I bring surprises, plenty massages, oils, incense, drop your defense. This here's an event. Went to the places we had to explore. Discovery. Gracious and thankfully yours.
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