The Love Haze: Recent Episodes
Scott and Shaté Hayes
The Love Haze is a podcast featuring husband and wife duo, Scott and Shaté Hayes. They believe that healing and wholeness is not a destination. It’s a journey, and they talk about navigating through it. #blacklove #blackculture #freedom #healing #blacklovejourneys
In this episode, we dive into the art of observing other people's feelings without taking them on as our own.
Join us as we explore practical strategies for maintaining emotional boundaries in close relationships with family, friends, and partners. Discover the role emotional regulation plays in this process, and get inspired by our hopes for finding real-life ways to practice this approach.
Tune in for insightful conversations and tips on how to stay empathetic yet emotionally grounded.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Observing not absorbing [1:36]
- Being empathetic and supportive without taking on another person's emotions as your own
- Therapists suggest supporting loved ones without absorbing their distress, emphasizing that empathy should not involve taking on someone else's sadness or anxiety.
- It can be challenging to separate one's own feelings from those of others, especially in close relationships, and there's a tendency to feel responsible for making others feel better.
Relearning communication and trust in marriage [10:11]
- Scott reflects on how life experiences have made him more guarded in his marriage, withdrawing emotional vulnerability and being more careful with his words.
- Recognizing the need to relearn how to support his wife, Shate Hayes, in a safe and non-absorbing manner.
- Acknowledging the importance of giving your spouse the space to solve their own problems and be a partner in their marriage.
Empathy and boundaries in therapy [17:45]
- Discussion on emotion regulation and avoidance in men.
- Seeking to balance helping others with maintaining personal boundaries.
- The approach to empathy- hearing people's hearts without trying to control their emotions.
- The importance of empathy and self-determination in therapy.
Navigating personal relationships while maintaining professional boundaries [23:41]
- The struggle with navigating close relationships without absorbing others' emotions.
- Scott Hayes emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding in his work as a therapist, particularly when clients make decisions that go against his advice.
- The challenge of balancing the need to be productive with the need to be empathetic and supportive, even when clients are not ready for the work required.
Navigating emotions and conflicts in a relationship [24:08]
- Setting boundaries and seeking help for recurring problems.
- Recognizing limitations in providing support and suggesting seeking help from others.
- Finding a way to support each other emotionally without judgment or expectations.
- The need for validation and redirection in relationships.
- Navigating conflicts in relationships, acknowledging the importance of allowing emotions to move through both parties.
- The need to navigate emotions without trying to run over them, just like navigating around obstacles on a bike or in a car.
THREE WAYS TO SUPPORT OUR MISSION:
- Rate us on Apple or Spotify, or follow and subscribe to our channel on YouTube.
- Attend an event in the Atlanta area or sponsor someone to attend.*
- Purchase our merch— there’s a great selection on our website.*
*A portion of our proceeds goes towards our therapy fund for Black adults.
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
Join us for this insightful conversation with special guest, Dr. Cicely Brathwaite–psychologist, consultant, and author of Self-Care Activities for Women: 101 Practical Ways to Slow Down and Reconnect With Yourself.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Focus on Self-Care and Systemic Impacts [4:30]
- The realization during the dissertation on African American women that societal messages discourage self-care among welfare recipients.
- Concern over cognitive decline observed in family members (grandmother and great aunts) led to exploring health disparities and preventive measures.
- Recognition that environments influenced by racism and sexism contribute to health disparities among Black individuals.
- Self-care can help mitigate negative systemic impacts.
- The role of pleasure and well-being practices in counteracting societal challenges.
- Aim to make self-care a legacy for 1 million Black individuals, integrating it into their everyday lives and passing it on to future generations.
Importance of Teaching Self-Cares [15:08]
- The historical roots of self-care stigma. The negative associations with rest and self-care dating back to times of enslavement.
- Reference to how enslaved ancestors were plied with liquor during times of rest, associating leisure with negativity.
- Generational differences in attitudes towards self-care, with previous generations focusing more on survival and work ethic.
- Cultural and systemic barriers that hinder individuals from prioritizing self-care, such as a 24/7 work culture and internalized programming.
- Self-care is a pathway to empowerment, allowing individuals to take control of their health and well-being.
- The 3 types of self-care: Regular, Restorative and Responsive.
Embracing Diverse Self-Care Practices and Family Traditions [29:20]
- Some coping mechanisms used in the past were effective for their time and circumstances, even if they might not be suitable today. This perspective helps release feelings of judgment towards oneself and others for past behaviors.
- The significant role of family-led prayers, has played in maintaining family resilience and well-being. This tradition deserves acknowledgment and respect.
- Valuing the tradition of learning and recording family recipes from elders as a way to preserve heritage and strengthen family bonds.
- Creating a playlist of songs that evoke joy as a practical and enjoyable self-care activity. This playlist can be used to uplift spirits and maintain positive emotions.
- Developing and practicing responses to microaggressions helps manage emotional triggers and maintain composure in challenging situations.
- Acknowledging the value of naps as a restorative and necessary form of self-care, Recognizing naps as essential for functioning optimally.
Overcoming Resistance and Embracing Growth in Self-Care Practices [35:21]
- Revisit unsuccessful activities. Persistence fosters growth and healing through continuous effort.
- Understand that the brain resists change due to negativity bias, helping to develop new habits despite discomfort.
- Adopt a mindset of trying new activities multiple times to overcome initial discomfort and accurately assess their value.
- Embrace all aspects of your personality and interests. Persistence in bringing groups together reflects the importance of integrating all facets of life.
THREE WAYS TO SUPPORT OUR MISSION:
- Rate us on Apple or Spotify, or follow and subscribe to our channel on YouTube.
- Attend an event in the Atlanta area or sponsor someone to attend.*
- Purchase our merch— there’s a great selection on our website.*
*A portion of our proceeds goes towards our therapy fund for Black adults.
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
- Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcicelybrathwaite/
- Schedule a consultation: https://www.cicelybrathwaite.com/
- Check out her books: https://www.cicelybrathwaite.com/books
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
Join this special convo with Brandon Scott, CEO and Co-Founder of Tequila with Friends, a Dallas-based tequila brand. After a surprising Type 1 diabetes diagnosis during his first semester of college, Brandon discovered that tequila was the only type of liquor that his body metabolized well. Now 15 years later, he ties some of his fondest moments to tequila and the people around him who’ve supported his journey.
THREE WAYS TO SUPPORT OUR MISSION:
- Rate us on Apple or Spotify, or follow and subscribe to our channel on YouTube.
- Attend an event in the Atlanta area or sponsor someone to attend.*
- Purchase our merch— there’s a great selection on our website.*
*A portion of our proceeds goes towards our therapy fund for Black adults.
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
Both God and therapy are essential to any healing journey. For this replay of our first live podcast event, we’re joined by Broderick McBride—intercessor, teacher, and mental health advocate who fully believes that mental health and spirituality go hand-in-hand. Take a listen to discover how they’ve helped him overcome trauma and depression, and practical tips to help you, too.
THREE WAYS TO SUPPORT OUR MISSION:
- Rate us on Apple or you can follow and subscribe to us on YouTube
- Attend an event in the Atlanta area or sponsor someone to attend*
- Purchase our merch, there’s a lot of selection on our website*
*A portion of our proceeds are going towards our therapy fund for Black adults.
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
We’re always talking man to man, but today’s episode is for the ladies. Join us for a few thoughts for the Black women in our lives from a Black man’s perspective.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Mental health and emotional wellness for Black men [4:11]
- The importance of creating a safe space for black men to share their experiences and heal
- Scott’s story of feeling like a failure as a man, feeling isolated in his struggles, and his journey towards mental wealth
- Breaking the stigma surrounding mental health in the Black community.
The struggles that men face these days [10:43]
- The pressure to be an ideal spouse on social media
- The disconnect between marriages on social media vs. marriages in real life
- The idea that there’s only a certain level of happiness that men are allowed to have
Our continual journey towards “learning themselves” [15:47]
- Learning not to love excessively
- Setting boundaries
- Having empathy and openness within relationships
- The whole journey of healing is learning ourselves for the first time
What men want women to know [21:31]
- There’s power in admitting that “I’m still learning myself”
- Getting rid of toxic masculinity
- Accepting that men can be emotional
- The struggle of “assertive communication”
- Balancing love with boundary
Grace with guidance [31:57]
- Gathering and talking with people navigating the same journey
- Having a brave space that holds each other accountable
- Choosing to have difficult, honest conversations rather than developing resentment
Biggest lessons around healing as a Black man [39:53]
- The answers are not required
- Honor whatever you have—especially when there were moments that you didn’t have any
- There is joy to be found and being able to be on the journey
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com
THREE WAYS TO SUPPORT OUR MISSION:
- Rate us on Apple or you can follow and subscribe to us on YouTube
- Attend an event in the Atlanta area or sponsor someone to attend*
- Purchase our merch, there’s a lot of selection on our website*
*A portion of our proceeds are going towards therapy for Black adults
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Out Of My Mind, song by Erykah Badu
Listen to It's A Man's World, song by James Brown
Listen to Come to the Light, song by Jill Scott
Listen to Slowly Surely, song by Jill Scott
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
Join us for a special convo with Ashley Sutton, founder and CEO of Hustle and Hope Cards. From facing rejection to grinding, making room for faith, and much more, we unpack what it means to have both hustle and hope.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
The story of Hustle and Hope Cards [3:23]
- Ashley’s relationship with hustle and hope
- How Ashley grew up with innate entrepreneurial spirit
- Balancing hustle and hope
Why greeting cards are the best [13:26]
- A great way to acknowledge and encourage someone’s effort
- A lovely way to say ‘I see you’ and ‘I acknowledge your hard work’
- Hustle and Hope Cards’ special free guide on how to give and receive gratitude
- How greeting cards are bringing back genuine thoughtfulness and communication between people
Hustle and Hope Cards’ impact [16:50]
- Getting rid of the stigma that cards are cheap and insignificant
- Sending the message “I see you and I want to help you” through greeting cards
- Supporting the idea that handmade gifts are actually thoughtful and the nicest thing that anybody could do for another
- Seeing ‘hustle,’ which usually has a negative connotation, in a positive light
- The harmony between hustle and hope
- Having a passion that fills your own and other people’s cup
Greeting card business tips [29:59]
- Having a sell sheet with all the necessary details
- Being ready for rejection (because it will happen)
- Being ‘teachable’ amidst rejections
Biggest lessons around hustle and hope [34:00]
- Keep your business grounded in purpose and intention
- It’s hard to have faith and hope, but you have to have it
- Don’t control anything; make space for God’s miracles
- Just because the results look different doesn’t mean you’re failing
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Follow Ashley on Instagram: @hustleandhope
Visit Hustle and Hope Cards’ website: https://hustleandhopecards.com/
Listen to You Gotta Be, a song by Des’ree
Listen to Who’s That Girl, a song by Eve
Listen to Hustle Hard, a song by Ace Hood and Rick Ross
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
We’ve been thinking a lot about chaos vs peace. In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the idea of changing our default setting, specifically when that default is chaos.
We invite you to reflect on your default setting and consider the possibility of embracing peace amidst life's chaos. Remember, healing is a journey, and every step towards self-discovery is a victory worth celebrating.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Default setting of chaos and destabilization [1:43]
- The constant cycle of being displeased with yourself
- A pattern of self-doubt and dissatisfaction
- The struggle to let go of the idea that you should keep moving to the next level
- How boredom triggers you to find chaos
- Our constant desire to find chaos is rooted from the feeling of not enoughness
- Unhealthy comparison (i.e. your life vs. others’ lives as seen on social media) can contribute to the feeling of not enoughness
- The belief that too much happiness is a prelude to something awful
NOT choosing chaos over peace [12:03]
- How Shaté, who’s always chosen peace, chose chaos in her finances
- Learning to be grateful for what you have and acknowledging answered prayers
- How not to have a regret-filled life
- Finding joy and gratitude in where you are now instead of continuing to search for it
Let’s talk about healing—changing/reprogramming your default settings [19:51]
- Changing the narrative that you're telling yourself
- Changing the way you talk to yourself—language matters!
- Remembering that wherever you are in life:
- There are so many things to be grateful for
- You worked hard for it and you deserve credit
Actionable steps to reprogram your default settings [27:24]
- Evaluating why you need help
- Determining the change you want to see
- Developing a treatment plan
- Shaté encourages seeking help from a therapist/accountability buddy or any type of mentor who could keep you in check
- Not being to hard on yourself and remembering that healing is NOT linear
Biggest lessons around choosing peace [34:27]
- Always factor in peace when making decisions—you won’t ever go wrong
- Never allow people step over the boundaries you’ve set for yourself
Friends, we’re very happy to announce our first live podcast event in the Atlanta area, and it’s happening in March.
A portion of all of our proceeds are going towards subsidizing or covering the cost of therapy for black adults. More details soon, hope to see you there!
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
- The Big Leap, book by Gay Hendricks
- Listen to Ep. 48: Mental health matters with Stephanie Westbrook
- Listen to Ep. 45: Healing our relationship with money w/Ranauldo & Liz Wright
- Listen to Hello, song by Aqyila
- Listen to Reset III, song by Isaac Carree
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
In a world that often demands our constant attention and care for others, it's easy to overlook the most crucial relationship of all—the one we have with ourselves.
We’re back with a new look and new name, but the healing vibes are still the same! Join our first convo as Healing Myself to discover why it's so important to heal your relationship with yourself first.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Why is it so important to save/heal yourself first? [3:21]
- Don’t let your trauma become who you are
- Healing yourself first gives you the opportunity to have healthy relationships with others
- You show up differently when you’re healed
- Being intentional with the way you talk to yourself and to others
The value of saving yourself—the hard parts [7:06]
- How people show up could be a reflection of the demons they’re fighting
- Being careful with you who you emulate
- The importance of communicating what you need
- Realizing that you are enough is they key to a healthy relationship with yourself and others
- The moment you stopped trusting yourself
- What happened that made you second guess yourself?
The value of saving yourself—the healing [15:13]
- Having the mindset to move towards the life you aspire
- Setting a vision and relentlessly working make it happen
- It’s hard when the villains seem to be winning
- The tedious journey towards that realization that you are valuable and worthy
- By not communicating what you need in a relationship, you are doing yourself a great disservice
What makes healing harder than you thought [23:17]
- Setting boundaries and seeing it through (it’s hard!)
- Choosing yourself could feel uncomfortable
- You DON’T need to hold yourself to impossible standards
Biggest lessons around healing yourself [31:10]
- Choosing yourself needs an every day practice
- Your relationship with yourself is the most important one
- Healing yourself is a continual process
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
The Love Haze: Episode 55, "SOS...Saving OurSelves"
Listen to On & On, song by Erykah Badu
Listen to I’m Doin’ Me, song by Fantasia
Listen to They Just Don’t Know, song by Gyft
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
We’ve spent the last three years and change having some of the most cathartic, transparent and transformative conversations about stuck places, the hazes, and healing all parts of us. And now it's time for more. We believe what’s next is gonna blow our minds! Join us as we talk through that and two special announcements.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Knowing when it is time to pivot [5:08]
- When a normal routine starts to feel uncomfortable
- Feeling exhausted and burnt out
- Pivoting doesn’t always mean knowing exactly what the next steps would be
The haze of pivoting [15:01]
- Leaving your area of your comfort is a daunting pursuit
- The older you get, the more there are at stake
- Relinquishing control is a concept that is hard to grasp despite the reality that none of us ever really have it
Navigating the haze [20:42]
- Getting used to the idea that things will not always go our way
- Doing the right thing despite not seeing the desired outcome
- Acknowledging fear but moving forward anyway
Biggest lessons surrounding pivoting [26:51]
- You can pivot… and still not be irresponsible and reckless
- Understanding that walking into your purpose is NOT pain-free
Made for more announcements and reminders [36:21]
- Shaté’s participation in Rachel Rodgers’ business coaching certification program
- The Love Haze is evolving into something more, something bigger…
- Healing is NOT being selfish
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
Here’s one more episode from one of the podcasts we’ve had the pleasure of joining over the past few months.
In this episode, we joined forces with Celeste the Therapist and really dug deep on healing the Black community. Traumas, triggers, and even slavery came up on this one. Hard truths and healing revelations, y’all.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Therapy, religion and suffering [4:24]
- Struggling with depression in the church
- Long suffering, hellfire and brimstone as badges of honor
- The roots of Christianity and slavery
- The scarcity mindset
The turning point [7:13]
- Personal therapy
- Being everything for everyone else
- Realizing when your needs change
Black men and mental health [11:23]
- How black men have to show up in spaces
- The idea that men have to be stoic
- Using vices to cover up emotions
- Functioning but unable to hold weight
- Stuffing feelings away
- Racial trauma
- The tendency to suffer in silence
Black women and mental health [16:11]
- People pleasing and anxiety
- Unlearning things as an adult
- Reading and learning different perspectives
- Physical manifestations of emotional pain
Black women in corporate America [27:28]
- Watching your face and reactions as a black woman in corporate America
- Having conversations in the workplace about race
- The importance of self-advocacy and articulation
Creating The Love Haze [30:38]
- A space to speak truth
- Having conversations no one was having
- Guilt vs. shame
- Figuring out the art of transition
The struggle to begin [39:19]
- Making choices towards who you’re trying to become
- Accepting fear and evolving from it
- Seeing yourself as something other than what you are currently
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Black Folk, song by Tank and The Bangas
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
And another one! Here’s another one of the dope Black podcasts we’ve had the pleasure of joining over the past few months: Kickin' It With KeKe: Life, Love, & All That Other SHIT
In this episode, we kick it with KeKe Chanel as we talk about mindset, healing, boundaries, and everything in between. This was such an authentic and transparent conversation about so many of the things that matter most in life. You’re really gonna want to listen to this one all the way through.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Discussing mindset and personal development [4:59]
- Becoming the best and highest version of yourself
- Doing interpersonal work on self worth and self esteem
- Give people the opportunity to show up for you and be okay if they don’t
- Our relationship with ourselves as the basis for how we show up in the world
- Our thoughts color how or what shows up in our lives
Should I take things personally? [11:34]
- Understanding that everything is personal BUT we don’t have to take it personally
- Setting boundaries
- Knowing when to walk away
- The level of honest communication we should have
Working together to build a team [22:19]
- Building a team vs a partnership
- Showing up as a whole person
- Building mutual respect and collaboration
- There is no real leader
Giving yourself grace [31:07]
- Talking about our struggles absolutely help—talk to a therapist, a pastor, a friend, anyone
- Understanding that our present trauma has something to do with our past trauma
- Normalizing having having healthy, effective conversations
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
Here’s another one of the dope Black podcasts we’ve had the pleasure of joining over the past few months. In this episode, we’re sharing our conversation with Dom L’Amour on The Black Man Talking Emotions Podcast, where we talked about how the messages we received as kids that may have kept us stuck, communication, and a number of the other unspoken hazes of life.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR
The privilege of open communication [6:13]
- Creating a safe space for your partner to communicate freely
- Unlearning negative communication styles from childhood
- Being able to show up in the world the way you want
- Understanding our parents were also in survival mode and possibly didn’t have this privilege
- How our mindset shapes our lives
Healing origin story and the need for change [14:29]
- Learning to express our wants and desires early
- Growing as a person separately while in a relationship
- What real, mature relationship looks like
- Learning communication as an adult
- Breaking your own heart
Why communication is crucial to make relationships work [22:12]
- Love language as a means to communicate
- We can’t always assume that the other person knows what we want and need—it is our responsibility to tell them
- Lack of awareness could sometimes hurt us
Open communication with children [29:05]
- The dangers of shielding children from “adult” situations
- Safe spaces for children to communicate
- Exposure to real life/world situations and conversations
- Being a “woke” adult with “soft, unaware” children
Breakthrough and reflection [37:42]
- Stuck places from childhood
- Familial dynamics
- Having the desire to be in tune with yourself
Conversations surrounding sex [38:57]
- The birds and bees with your parents
- Who talked to your about sex for the first time
- Church purity culture
Everything about our behavior is based on our ‘why’ [50:52]
- The importance of seeing people for who they really are
- The why behind The Love Haze Podcast + our mission
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
The Five Love Languages, book by Gary Chapman
Listen to Issues/Hold On, song by Teyana Taylor
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
If you caught episode 70, then you know we weren’t sure if we’d be able to make the last five episodes of the year happen because we’ve been through a lot lately, and we wanted a break. Well, we decided to find a way to work smarter instead of giving up. We’ve been blessed to be guests on a number of other podcasts this year, and we’re sharing a few of those episodes and reflections. Up first, is our convo with Natasha and Damian Carrillo of Black and Brown Make Green Podcast. We had an honest money convo, and we can’t wait to share it with you!
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
The story of how we met [6:43]
- Dating and ghosting… And dating and ghosting
- Dating pre and post social media and dating apps
Our history with money [14:48]
- Scott’s history with money
- How our histories with money affected our marriage
- Discussing gender roles in money
Learning to partner as a couple and not roommates [17:44]
- Discussing relationships we saw growing up
- Learning what each other desired
- Seeking help from a financial advisor
Working past differing opinions [20:45]
- Navigating childhood and racial traumas
- The scarcity mindset
- Who is the breadwinner/tackling “traditional gender roles”
- Honoring your husband as head of the household
Being self aware [24:44]
- Where is this reaction coming from?
- Marriage counseling/therapy
- Addressing past triggers in marriage
- Boundaries and communication
The three things you need to better communicate [31:03]
- Understand
- Express
- Affirm
The biggest lessons we learned [33:58]
- Do not be afraid to seek help, even BEFORE things get hard.
- Be self aware of your past so that it doesn’t hinder your future.
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to C.R.E.A.M., song by Wu-Tang Clan
Listen to Get Money, song by Junior M.A.F.I.A
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
Listen y'all, we have wanted to quit podcasting so many times. As recently as this weekend, we seriously entertained letting it go because life has been out here life-ing. But thankfully, we’ve gotten a reframing that’s helped us, and we hope it’ll help y’all too.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
There will be moments when you feel like giving up [5:24]
- We need to learn how to pivot and start all over again rather than moping over our loss
- Why taking your hands off of something could sometimes be a good thing
- The reason why most people quit
- Trusting the process and sticking through the uncomfortability
- Continually working towards something despite not having tangible results
The haze of seeing through the ‘promise of purpose’ [17:09]
- Waiting could be a exhausting
- Our need to be always in control
- It’s hard to continue when we’re not certain with the outcome
- The struggle in finding the sweet spot between mindfulness and being future-focused
- Building the body of work while evolving
Navigating the haze [26:52]
- Celebrating the pace of our progress, the small wins along the way
- Thinking of the possibilities that could go our way when we keep moving forward—possibility over prize
Biggest lessons [35:49]
- Success doesn’t always mean reward as hard work is not always rewarded (and that’s okay!)
- Impact alone is enough to keep pushing
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to enLIGHTened, an album by Peter Collins
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
We talk a lot about communication and boundaries for our personal lives, and a lot of those same principles can be applied to our professional relationships, too. Self-advocacy is universal, but it's also so personal, y'all. Join us as we unpack that.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Self-advocacy and setting boundaries in professional relationships [1:20]
- Some leaders, especially people of color, seem unaware that they can advocate for themselves
- Scott’s story of how he realized that he has the right to advocate for himself
- Being a team player DOES NOT mean you can’t say no
- Most organizations prioritize their interest over your well-being, so make sure to look out for yourself
- Setting boundaries around your time to prioritize self-care and avoid burnout and overcommitting
Ways to set boundaries at work [17:37]
- Clearly communicating your availability to protect and honor your time (e.g. putting a sign on your office door)
- Remembering that people can overstep your boundaries only if you let it
- Putting guardrails around how you spend your time (i.e.putting Slack notes to notify people of what you’re currently doing)
- Setting goals with your team as a way to also respect their time
The haze of setting boundaries at work [21:15]
- Some people struggle with understanding boundaries
- Having conversations about setting boundaries could be difficult
- Asserting boundaries can sometimes make you feel like you’re being mean
- Setting boundaries with a peer could be manageable, but doing so with your superior can be hard
- Having a “ruinous empathy” rather than offering to meet halfway
- The fear of being replaced to prove your enoughness
Navigating the haze [43:44]
- Getting the support that you need
- Asserting your boundaries in a respectful way
Biggest lessons [45:06]
- You can’t advocate for others if you can’t advocate for yourself
- People will do what you allow them to do—it’s a disservice to both you and other person
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Pardon by T.I. and Lil Baby
Radical Candor by Kim Scott
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at connect@healingmyself.co
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healingmyself/support
Life is always out here doing what it wants to do, and there’s nothing we can really do about it. So what could it look like to accept that, to learn how to go with the flow, and grow through it, too? Join us as we process through it.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Life teaches us that it is NOT linear [3:42]
- Our tendency to have our life planned chronologically
- Life is not as easy as going from point A to point B to point C. You could be at any point, then have to go three steps back (how the world had to deal with COVID, for example)
- How Shaté planned to marry at 25 but ended up getting married at 38
- Our relationships and careers will never be linear—we’ll always experience pivots
- Always choosing to follow your heart path
Giving people the freedom to just be becoming [12:07]
- People are allowed to change career paths
- Stop asking kids what they want to be when they grow up. They don’t know, even some adults don’t!
- Learning doesn’t stop when we graduate. We should be habitual students of life.
- Life is HARD. But if we learn to grow through
- Why Scott hates the statement “learn to live life on life's terms”
Learning to appreciate every season [18:58]
- If you keep on wishing for a different season, you’ll never appreciate the beauty of the current one
The haze of going with the flow [22:31]
- It’s hard to see the silver lining when your sacrifices don’t give you the one thing that you want
- Reframing our thinking could be a challenge
Navigating the haze [26:02]
- It’s normal to feel hurt when things don’t go as planned, but don’t stay there
- Looking for support to help you get through the tough times
- Language matters!
- Letting God take charge and do the rest (instead of fighting His will)
- “Redefining what the fruit looks like”
-
“Trust and adjust” as a way to navigate the haze
-
Whatever we have, wherever we are, they’re all good enough for us to start
Biggest lessons around trusting the process [37:01]
- Learning how to zoom out to see the bigger picture—this is how we can find a way to thrive in life
- Being present and giving yourself the freedom to experience life as it is
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Kick, Push by Lupe Fiasco
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Clear the haze with our Weekly Word. We’ll send you insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you navigate the unspoken hard parts of life: https://thelovehaze.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you know someone or you yourself can benefit from The Love Haze community, don’t hesitate to let us know! Leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com.
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thelovehaze/support
Life has been life-ing, y’all. And when we’re in seasons like this, it’s easier for our emotions to get the best of us. So in this episode, we’re talking through the value of holding onto your emotions even when everything else feels like it’s falling through the cracks.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
Showing up in tough seasons [2:37]
- What exactly is emotional regulation?
- Finding the grade to regulate your emotions
- How to have self-awareness
- Growing through the difficulties
- Being cool, calm, and collected under pressure
- How you act differently when you’re tired
- The key to having high EQ
- Navigating emotions in the neurodivergence spectrum
Healing from “not enoughness” [14:24]
- Understanding that we have different level of needs
- Feeling that you are not enough could lead to shutting down others
- Realizing that there is nothing wrong with pure, ra, and honest emotion— it just needs parameters
- Whatever you feel, don’t let it control your emotion
- Controlling your emotions, so they don't control you
The haze of regulating your emotions [18:21]
- Being in autopilot you sometimes barely care about what other people might feel around you
- Most people don’t realize that therapy is NOT healing; it merely allows you to harness your own healing
- Thinking that a mistake or setback is an opportunity to learn is difficult
- Being present in the moment could be exhausting
- We’re still figuring out how to give ourselves permission to take a step back and just breathe
- Figuring out ways on how to get out of a toxic environment and care for your well-being
Navigating the hell of a haze of regulating your emotions [30:16]
- Withdrawing from always wanting to feel good—you’re NOT a baby that always needs to be pacified
- Working on understanding human emotions and that there are days that you’ll feel different emotions (You should not let these temporary emotions dictate your decisions)
- Learning to address your childhood wounds so they don’t up consuming you
Biggest lessons around emotion regulation [35:28]
- Pausing before responding can do wonders to your relationships (because things you’ve said in the heat of the moment can probably be forgiven, but not forgotten)
- DON’T make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions
- Being emotional is NOT a negative thing!
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
The Color of Emotional Intelligence by Farrah Harris
The Love Haze: Episode 53, "Bigger than my bottom."
The Love Haze: Episode 35, "The stories we tell ourselves."
The Love Haze: Episode 41, "Re-parenting your inner child."
Listen to It’s a Beautiful Day by TRINIX
Listen to Regulate by Warren G
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Clear the haze with our Weekly Word. We’ll send you insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you navigate the unspoken hard parts of life: https://thelovehaze.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you know someone or you yourself can benefit from The Love Haze community, don’t hesitate to let us know! Leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thelovehaze/support
Today, we’re coming for all the inherent problem solvers out there. When your loved ones share their problems with you, it’s almost second nature for some of us to jump right into solution-ing. But what does it look like to just listen, to just be a safe space for your loved one to work through their problem on their own? Well, we’re about to eff around and find out.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
There are problems that are not yours to solve [3:09]
- Sometimes, it doesn’t help to tell people how to solve a problem, especially when you see things in different perspectives
- People solve problems in different paces
- The self centered perspective on problem solving
- In order to own the outcomes of our choices, we sometimes need to solve things on our own—this helps us avoid blame-shifting
Letting our loved ones solve their problems while being there for them [10:43]
- Being there when they need to vent
- Providing suggestions only when asked
- Empower them to have more autonomy, make more decisions on their own
The haze of letting our loved ones fight their battles [14:19]
- If you give them the answer, you take away the opportunity of letting them find the answer and learn on their own
- “I'm not just gonna do it for you, but I'm here to support you” can be received in a wrong way
- Always solving others’ problems can lead to codependency
- The struggle to set boundaries
Navigating the haze [21:24]
- Asking people the kind of help they need, and being clear if you can provide it
- Asking people, “How can I support you?”
- Trusting your loved ones that they’re strong enough to solve their own problems
Biggest lessons [27:17]
- If you often solve others’ problems, you might end up expecting them to do the same for you
- You need to see if a loved one is being too dependent on you
- Simply asking “What do you think?” and letting them decide could go a really long way
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Can’t Tell Me Nothing by Kanye West
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Clear the haze with our Weekly Word. We’ll send you insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you navigate the unspoken hard parts of life: https://thelovehaze.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you know someone or you yourself can benefit from The Love Haze community, don’t hesitate to let us know! Leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com.
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thelovehaze/support
Listen, if we hear ONE more person come for #BlackLoveDoc, it’s gon’ be a problem. With the recent news of Ms. Tina Knowles-Lawson’s divorce, commenters have been pretty hard on the show, calling it cursed because five of the couples featured have gone their separate ways. Well, we have plenty to say about that, and we got time today.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
The Black Love Journey [3:51]
- The Black Love documentary is not about the do’s and don'ts; it’s simply a representation of Black love
- Out of the 70-80 couples featured in 5 seasons, about 5 couples have broken up—this should not be viewed as a curse
- In every separation lies the story of resilience and the beauty of standing up for what really would make you happy
The constant fear of being judged [16:50]
- The struggle to be someone who respects his own humanity… and others’
- People tend to look for the drama
- You need to give yourself permission to wiggle out of relationships that are no longer in alignment with who you want to be
- Being divorced is NOT the end of life
The haze of choosing the way out [23:55]
- You will encounter people who don’t honor your journey, your story
- The “negative publicity”
- Understanding the separation can be for the better
- Breaking free from guilt and shame can be a challenge
- Finding the courage to share your story despite the judgment that may come your way
- Facing biases (how the Black community is perceived)
Navigating the haze [32:03]
- Giving yourself to love, make mistakes, and learn
- Getting rid of the notion that you/your life can be perfect
- Letting others see your humanity
- Being your authentic self, unafraid to share your story
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Black Love (documentary)
Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
Listen to I Was Here by Beyonce
Listen to Real Love by Mary J. Blige
Love Again by Daniel Caesar and Brandy
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Clear the haze with our Weekly Word. We’ll send you insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you navigate the unspoken hard parts of life: https://thelovehaze.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you know someone or you yourself can benefit from The Love Haze community, don’t hesitate to let us know! Leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com.
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thelovehaze/support
We’ve all been taught that it’s a good thing to give someone the benefit of the doubt? It essentially means to assume good intent, right? But when it comes to self-doubt, that changes the game. Let’s unpack who benefits when we dim our light and play small.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
We tend to assume good intent [3:44]
- When we always assume that the other person means well, we get harder on ourselves
- Women are taught to act/react in a certain way
- There are four main-reasons why we self-sabotage
- The struggle to be empathetic
Self-doubt is dangerous [12:12]
- Self-doubt doesn’t lift you up, neither does your other relationships
- The “worker bee” mentality and imposter syndrome
- Trusting that you always make the right decision and that you can figure out what to do next
- Honoring your leadership
Giving the benefit of the doubt [26:40]
- When you minimize yourself, you give up your power
- Allowing yourself to be heard and seen
- How you really gain self-awareness
Navigating the haze [30:25]
- Choosing what you know is holding you back
- The need for immediate gratification
- Learning how to trust and forgive yourself
- Unlearning the idea that you are a burden
Lessons around self-trust [41:24]
- Seeing yourself for who you really are is needed for your healing
- Your failures are part of your story
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
Listen to Take Up Space Sis by Toni Jones
Listen to So Ugly I’m Beautiful by Toni Jones
Listen to I See Me Mantras by Toni Jones
Listen to RUN by Killer Mike
Listen to King’s Disease by Nas
Listen to Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers by Kendrick Lamar
The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
- Clear the haze with our Weekly Word. We’ll send you insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you navigate the unspoken hard parts of life: https://thelovehaze.co/weeklyword
- Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
- Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
- Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you know someone or you yourself can benefit from The Love Haze community, don’t hesitate to let us know! Leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com.
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thelovehaze/support
In today's episode, we're tapping into our local community as we had the pleasure to connect with Oriola Esuleke. She’s the owner of The Kindred Healing Center, AHHA Consulting LLC (Aggregated Holistic Healing Alliance), and Principal owner of the first black-owned and operated social media wellness platform, the AHHA Wellness Community. Oriola is a curator of holistic culturally sacred self-healing spaces, so it's only fitting that we talk about what it means to heal from the inside out.
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Learn how to have hard convos with confidence with the tips in our new guide: https://thelovehaze.co/useyourwords
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you know someone or you yourself can benefit from The Love Haze community, don’t hesitate to let us know! Leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com.
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thelovehaze/support
In this episode, we’re unpacking a topic that was submitted by one of our listeners. We’ve mentioned folks who’ve cut ties with family members because of unhealthy relationships, but we haven’t talked about maintaining a relationship with a parent when y’all just don’t get along. Well, until today, that is.
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Get curated tips, links to episodes, and journals prompts in our Thrive Guide: http://www.thelovehaze.co/thriveguide
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
Follow @iamshate on Instagram
Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you know someone or you yourself can benefit from The Love Haze community, don’t hesitate to let us know! Leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com.
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thelovehaze/support
Listen, I don’t know about y’all, but for us, life has been life-ing lately. And it seems like at every turn, we’re pulled in different directions, faced with disappointment, and juggling really full plates. So join us as we process how to move forward when self-care just isn't enough.
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Get curated tips, links to episodes, and journals prompts in our Thrive Guide: http://www.thelovehaze.co/thriveguide
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you know someone or you yourself can benefit from The Love Haze community, don’t hesitate to let us know! Leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com.
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thelovehaze/support
We know how complicated relationships can be. On top of the interpersonal connection, we're also contending with triggers, boundaries, expectation setting for how you need to be loved. And how does that all play out with family? ESPECIALLY when it's the family you're trying to build?
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Get curated tips, links to episodes, and journals prompts in our Thrive Guide: http://www.thelovehaze.co/thriveguide
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you know someone or you yourself can benefit from The Love Haze community, don’t hesitate to let us know! Leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thelovehaze/support
We talk a lot about family dynamics, overcoming interpersonal offenses, and moving past stuck places in general. But what about trauma from work? That’s not something we hear a lot of people talk about, so it’s time to lay it all out on the table. Whew chile...prepare to be triggered.
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Get curated tips, links to episodes, and journals prompts in our Thrive Guide: http://www.thelovehaze.co/thriveguide
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you know someone or you yourself can benefit from The Love Haze community, don’t hesitate to let us know! Leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thelovehaze/support
About reciprocity in relationships. We’ve processed through matching energy, communication, and conflict resolution in other episodes. Now, let's spend a little time unpacking a different approach to unbalanced relationships.
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Get curated tips, links to episodes, and journals prompts in our Thrive Guide: http://www.thelovehaze.co/thriveguide
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
Follow @iamshate on Instagram; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you know someone or you yourself can benefit from The Love Haze community, don’t hesitate to let us know! Leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thelovehaze/support
We’re taking a deep dive into today's dating culture. Or maybe it’ll be a shallow dive?? Let’s get into it.
CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ:
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow Us: Instagram | Facebook
Follow @iamshate on Instagram
Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you know someone or you yourself can benefit from The Love Haze community, don’t hesitate to let us know! Leave a comment or send us an email at thelovehaze@gmail.com.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thelovehaze/support
We’re challenging societal norms of manhood. Data shows that many men know that talking openly is an effective way of dealing with their problems, but they keep quiet so they don’t appear weak or unmanly. Well, we’re affirming that getting the support you need is the real flex.
For links to the music and resources shared in this episode, visit: https://thelovehaze.co/podcast/episode56
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thelovehaze/support
In this episode, we’re unpacking what it means to participate in your own rescue. You know the saying…you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. But when it comes to our healing and growth, it’s time to drink up, y’all.
For links to the music and resources shared in this episode, visit: https://thelovehaze.co/podcast
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thelovehaze/support
In this episode, we’re talking about the choices we make based on the hand that life has dealt us. For those of us who’ve been blessed enough to have our basic needs met, let’s exercise some empathy and recognize what a privilege that is.
For links to the music and resources shared in this episode, visit: https://thelovehaze.co/podcast
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
The bottom moments in our lives can be defining moments that forever change us, but they shouldn’t become what defines us. We’re affirming that we’re all bigger than our bottoms.
For links to the music and resources shared in this episode, visit: https://thelovehaze.co/podcast
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
Fear is natural. It’s actually designed to protect us, but it can also be the thing standing between us and our heart's desires. Let’s talk about how to face it and do the thing anyways.
For links to the music and resources shared in this episode, visit: https://thelovehaze.co/podcast
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
We've always heard that we should take the leap of faith— no matter how scary it is. Just jump, right? Well, what happens after the leap? Fall. Flight. Sink. Swim. Let's talk about it.
For links to the music and resources shared in this episode, visit: https://thelovehaze.co/podcast
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
We’re so excited to be starting the year with our 50th episode! The new year is typically the season for resolutions and restarts. Well, in true Love Haze fashion, we want to normalize something we don’t talk as much about…just continuing where you left off. Let's just keep going, fam.
For links to the music and resources shared in this episode, visit: https://thelovehaze.co/podcast
You can also follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
We’re closing out the year with a look back at some of our favorite episodes of 2022. From opening up about our fertility journey to matching energy, healing our relationship with money, and so much more, there’s so much goodness to celebrate.
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
Been thinking about therapy? Then join us for a transparent convo with Stephanie Westbrook – Licensed Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and founder and owner of Lotus Center for Counseling and Wellness – about how to get started and what to expect.
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
Join us as we express some gratitude for how far we’ve come on our journey. From family, to purpose, to personal growth, and so much more, we’re giving thanks for the progress we’ve made over the past year.
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
Let’s talk about how we have a tendency to continue putting ourselves on trial long after we’ve made a mistake. We don’t have to keep paying for the same offense, ya’ll. It’s time to make a different choice.
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
This is a long overdue convo with Ranauldo & Liz Wright – financial brokers with nearly 20 years in financial services – about the inner work of financial abundance. Time to get our minds and our money right.
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
Have you ever tried to play with your shadow when you were a kid? Do you notice that as adults, we don’t even acknowledge it anymore? In this episode, we’re taking a closer look at how to bring our shadow to the light.
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
A timeless convo about personal evolution. Sometimes the friction we face in relationships can be a result of how we’re the one who’s changed. It ain’t always everybody else, y’all.
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
A real convo about how shared realities impact our relationships. Is there alignment in how you and your loved ones show up in the world? Let's unpack that.
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
A candid convo about how the children we once were can still show up in our adult lives. Let’s talk about how to show them some love.
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
A much needed convo about navigating our relationship with ourselves. Healing from yesterday truly changes the way we show up today, y'all. Let's talk about it.
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
A continuation of our convo about communication because, let’s face it, it’s a foundational component to sustaining relationships. From avoidance to communication styles, we process through getting lost in translation.
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
We think it's time for grown people to use their words. Some may think they’re choosing peace when really they’re choosing avoidance, which can lead to resentment. Let’s talk about what it really looks like to keep the peace.
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
We're getting real about our fertility journey. It's easy to ask "why me?" when your faith is tested. But how do we keep going, find meaning in our trials, and move forward with understanding and hope?
You can follow @thelovehaze on Instagram.
It's Juneteenth, and we want to talk about freedom ⸺ mental, emotional, financial, spiritual freedom, that is. What does it look like to be our most authentic and best selves? What does it look like to live, not just exist? To thrive, not just survive? Let's talk about it.
Let's talk about the stories we tell ourselves. How do we pause to get all the facts before running with our perceptions? What impact do these stories have on our relationships with our people?
A candid convo about what people really mean when they say, “keep that same energy.” Is it really about reciprocity or something else?
An insightful convo with Kim Kisner – a leader in communications and change management, host of "It's Ya Girl Kim Show", and author of "Laid Off But Not Laid Out" – about trusting the process of career change.
A candid convo about resolving conflict at the mat where one person has to be the clear winner or loser versus the table where it’s more likely that both parties walk away on top.
An insightful convo about the things our ancestors gave us that keep us going and fighting to be better⏤not just for us, but for those who will come after us, too.
A feel good convo with Lola Troy – keynote speaker, life coach, corporate trainer, host, and curator of Heal Black Joy – about what it means to heal our community.
A candid convo discussing how a loss can actually be in alignment with your higher good.
A feel good convo with Nicole Ford Miller – educational consultant, event producer, HBCU advocate, and author of ‘You belong at a Black College.’ – about the importance and impact of HBCUs.
A convo discussing the accommodations and reflections from our trips to Cancun, Nashville, and Myrtle Beach. #baecations
A candid convo about letting go of mindsets, relationships, or situations that need to be released.
A candid convo about acknowledging our hurt places and making the effort not to operate or react from them.
A convo discussing the accommodations and reflections from our trips to Destin, Florida.
A candid convo with Chris & Patrice Thompson about navigating marriage. From their vision of success to disagreements to growing together, The Thompsons keep it real about marital relationships.
A convo reviewing accommodations and discussing reflections from our recent trip to St. Lucia.
A convo sharing some exciting changes to the podcast along with a discussion on how to navigate through "the middle of it."
A convo with Scott A. Hayes and Shaté L. Hayes, creators of The Love Haze Podcast, discussing the lessons learned from season two.
A convo with Dr. Jihan, board certified pediatrician, owner of Peace of Mind Pediatrics, and board member of Clara Community Health Center.
A convo with Omari Henderson & Kenneth White, engineers and co-founders of non-profit mentoring program, Youth Challenge, Inc.
A convo with Shamiah Kerney, Deputy Director of Performance Management in the Executive Office of the Mayor for the District of Columbia.
A convo with Flojaune Cofer, epidemiologist, Senior Director of Policy for Public Health Advocates, and co-host of political podcast, Voices: River City.
A convo with Onaje Henderson, community educator, arts advocate, and partner and gallery director of ZuCot Gallery in Atlanta, GA.
A convo with Brandy Shavon, LCSW, Host of Crazy Counselor Podcast, and Founder of Pearls of Esther, Inc.
A convo with Jessica Green, Attorney, District 1 Councilwoman in Louisville, Kentucky, and Founder of Green House Family Resource Center.
A convo with Dr. Maurice Hobson, Associate Professor of African American Studies and Historian at Georgia State University.
Check out our candid convo about what it looks like to be in a new season and the challenges that come with that.
In this episode, we have a candid convo about what it takes to take the first step towards a new venture or a new season.