Parenting the Tough Stuff: Recent Episodes
Wendy Lee Johnson
Parenting the Tough Stuff is the podcast for parents like you who are raising teens and young adults who are struggling. It’s your guide to feeling better about being a parent and holding things together when everything feels like it’s falling apart.
Your host, Wendy Lee Johnson, is a certified life coach for parents and mother of 9. In her weekly episodes, she will dive deep into the topics that keep you up at night. Parenting teens in crisis isn't exactly intuitive. What worked in the past may not be the best moving forward.
It’s time to find the joy in parenting again and get back to feeling like the best version of yourself. Hit follow and get ready to change your life.
• If you have a question or topic you’d like to see covered on the show, send an email to wendyleejohnsoncoaching@gmail.com.
• If you’re interested in actionable strategies delivered straight to your inbox, go to wendyleejohnson.com and sign up for her weekly email.
Parenting—especially adoptive parenting—is beautiful, messy, exhausting, and overwhelming, often all at the same time. You’re doing the best you can to help your child navigate their big emotions, but here’s the truth: you can’t help them regulate if you’re falling apart. So, what does it mean to stay regulated? And do you have a Safety Plan for yourself so you know what to do for you when things start breaking down?
In this episode, I walk you through what regulation really looks like (hint: it’s not about being calm or happy). I also share practical steps for creating your own safety plan—a personal roadmap for recognizing when things are breaking down and how to reset before everything spirals. Because you matter too.
Here’s the best part: creating your safety plan doesn’t have to be complicated. I’ve got a list of thoughtful, practical questions to help you get started. If you want me to send them directly to you, just email me with "Safety Plan" in the subject line, and I’ll send you the questions right away!
📧 Email me at: wendyleejohnsoncoaching@gmail.com
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. When you have a plan to regulate yourself, you can show up as the steady, safe presence your child needs. Let’s start building your safety plan today!
In this episode, we’re diving into the dynamic of connection vs. protection mode—a concept that impacts both adoptive parents and their kids. We’ll explore why all behavior makes sense when we look beneath the surface, how protection behaviors often stem from a desperate need for connection, and why co-regulation is the key to helping our kids (and ourselves) move from survival to connection.
We’ll also tackle the tough stuff: how to recognize when we as parents slip into protection mode, practical strategies for staying grounded, and how moments of repair can strengthen your relationship with your child.
This conversation is real, relatable, and packed with hope. You don’t have to be a perfect parent to make a lasting impact—all it takes is showing up with empathy and a willingness to connect. Tune in and let’s navigate this journey together!
Shift To Your Essentials: Cut Through The Noise is a podcast dedicated to helping adoptive parents cut through the noise, overwhelm, and pressure of doing it all. Together, we’ll explore how focusing on the essentials can transform your parenting, your family dynamics, and how you feel about yourself and your child.
We’ll dive into strategies for identifying what matters most, creating meaningful connections, and letting go of the things that don’t serve your family. Whether you’re feeling stuck, stressed, or just looking for a clearer path forward, this podcast offers encouragement, actionable tips, and a reminder that you don’t have to do this alone.
Parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present and intentional. It’s time to focus on what truly matters. Let’s do this together. 🎧
New episodes weekly! Subscribe now and join the journey.
The holidays can be magical AND brutal. They can also feel overwhelming—especially for adoptive families. In this episode, we’re diving into practical tips and heartfelt advice to help you navigate the season with less stress and more connection. From handling tough teen moments to redefining traditions that actually work for your family, we’ll explore how to create a holiday that feels meaningful, safe, and true to your unique family dynamic.
You’ll learn: - Why focusing on connection over perfection is key. - How to repair after conflicts and turn tough moments into opportunities for growth. - Simple ways to adapt traditions to fit your teen’s needs and your family’s reality. - The power of slowing down, staying aware, and giving yourself permission to pivot midstream. - Why self-care for parents is not just important—it’s essential.
Whether your holidays feel chaotic, triggering, or just plain overwhelming, this episode offers encouragement, practical strategies, and permission to do things your way.
Reach out for personalized support and coaching if you’re navigating challenges this holiday season. I’d love to help you create a plan that fits your family’s needs. A holiday doesn't have to be perfect to be meaningful.
Don’t forget to subscribe, share this episode with another parent who needs encouragement, and leave a review—it helps us reach more adoptive families like yours!
Happy holidays, and remember: Your family, your rules. 💛
Do you have a kiddo who seems to make a career out of arguing, begging, or otherwise trying to wear you down? Parents tell me all the time how exhausting and frustrating this is—and I get it.
It’s not just annoying; it’s one of the ways your child nudges you into a stress cycle. You probably know the feeling: your heart starts to race, your muscles tense up, and your emotions build to the point where you just want it all to stop. And sometimes, the easiest way to make it stop feels like giving in.
But what if there was another way?
Here’s the deal: when your body goes into stress mode, it’s flooded with hormones that prepare you to act. That’s useful in emergencies, but in parenting, it can leave you feeling reactive, drained, and stuck in a cycle of chronic stress.
The good news? You don’t have to stay stuck.
You can complete the stress cycle.
That doesn’t mean eliminating the stressor (your persistent, determined kiddo) or solving every problem on the spot. It means giving your body and mind a moment to process the stress and reset.
When you take time to reset, you’re not just doing it for yourself. You’re doing it so you can show up for your kids in a calmer, more centered way.
In this week’s podcast I unpack the stress cycle and how to break free.
Next time you’re in the thick of a high-stress parenting moment, remember this: stepping away to take care of your stress isn’t selfish—it’s essential. It’s a small but powerful way to take care of yourself and your family.
You’ve got this. And if you need someone in your corner, I’m here.
Drop me a line at wendyleejohnsoncoaching@gmail.com
Episode Description Today, we're exploring co-regulation—a powerful parenting tool that’s especially important for adoptive families. Co-regulation can make a world of difference, helping our children feel safe, grounded, and connected. Whether you’re new to this concept or looking for more practical ways to apply it, this episode will guide you through what co-regulation is, why it matters, and how you can start practicing it with your kids to strengthen your family bond.
Episode Breakdown
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Introduction I start with a story from my own experience—an “aha” moment that made me realize the importance of staying regulated as a parent. It was a moment that got a bit, let’s say, intense, but it became a turning point for me in prioritizing co-regulation. This story sets the stage for the rest of the episode.
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What is Co-Regulation? We break down what co-regulation really means and how it can provide our children with a sense of safety and emotional security, especially when they come from difficult or disrupted pasts.
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The Science Behind Co-Regulation A little brain science! We dive into why our calm presence can have such a powerful effect on our children, helping them feel secure and connected.
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The Challenge of Staying Regulated Kids, especially those who’ve experienced trauma, struggle to stay regulated. Here, we discuss why it’s so important for us to stay calm first, so they can feel our steady energy and co-regulate with us.
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Four Key Lessons from Parenting Teens Over the years, I’ve learned four big lessons that help me show up for my teens and stay connected with them: - It’s Not About Me - They Don’t Need Me to Fix Things - Avoiding Minimizing Their Experience - They’re Learning Self-Regulation
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Practical Strategies for Co-Regulation From sharing Spotify playlists to helping with chores, we cover everyday strategies for creating safe, connected moments with teens that allow them to co-regulate with us naturally.
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Common Challenges in Co-Regulation It’s not always easy, and that’s okay! We discuss common roadblocks and how to extend grace to ourselves as we do our best, even when things get tough.
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Conclusion A reminder that every small effort matters and that our work as adoptive parents to create a safe and supportive space truly makes a difference.
If today’s episode resonates with you, I’d love to offer a bit more support. I’m currently offering a free consult call where we can talk about what’s happening in your family and find ways to strengthen your parenting approach. Whether you’re facing specific challenges or just looking for extra guidance, let’s connect. Here's the link to schedule your free consult —just click and pick a time that works best for you!
https://calendly.com/wendyleejohnson/free-consult
Thank you for joining me today! Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with other adoptive parents who might find it helpful. We’re all in this together.
We all want our kids to thrive, but what does that really mean?
Often in our culture, thriving is associated with excelling at sports, maintaining a high GPA, or maintaining friendships. But here’s the kicker: thriving is so much more than just those quantifiable achievements. In fact, I believe thriving is more of a direction than a destination.
Many of our adopted kids come from challenging backgrounds. Maybe no one in their birth family graduated high school, or their birthparents struggle with issues like addiction or incarceration and these same issues keep showing up in our kiddo’s journeys. All of these challenges can cast a long shadow over what we perceive as thriving.
I this episode we cover what thriving really is and how this can change your relationship with your child.
I coach adoptive parents. If you would like some support, schedule a free consultation HERE
Have you ever wanted to just survive a crisis without making it worse? As parents, when things get really tough we immediately experience some pretty intense emotions. Many times, it’s hard to stay present or even make sense out of what’s happening in the moment. If you want to learn some truly incredible tools for tolerating distress during a crisis, then this episode is for you.
What do you do when you’ve gotten some bad news and you're feeling a bit undone? You’re probably wanting to dial your feelings down a bit and just not feel so much. How about a quick vacation from disappointment and worry? Today’s episode will give you 6 solid tips to help you stay grounded AND experience your emotions.
A lot of parenting is spent living in paradox. What does that even mean? It means wanting your family to eat supper altogether, but feeling anxious that an argument will break out and make it unbearable. Or maybe you can’t wait for your teen to come home from residential, but are terrified of what’s going to happen to your family when they do. If you’d like some tips on how to approach living in paradox, then this episode is for you.
Whether your child is just approaching adolescence or fully submerged in it, staying connected has never been more important. At the same time, our kids spend more and more time with their friends and seem to want to have nothing to do with us. Stay tuned to hear 10 tips to reconnect with your teen, so you don’t drift apart.
People are actually hardwired to want to do things on their own and be independent-minded, but often this doesn’t serve us.
As a parent, it's normal to feel like you should be able to handle things pretty much on your own.
But the truth is, parenting is one of the most challenging tasks you’ll undertake in this life – and seeking out assistance can be vital to your family’s well-being. If you want to find out more about this superpower, then today’s episode is for you.
I hear parents speak of their worries related to their teens and many times they are founded in past events. It’s like "parenting PTSD" of sorts. Parents are truly panicked about the past reoccurring and for good reason. Join me as we explore possible solutions to "parenting PTSD."
What is our job, as parents? Is it to set the bar, and maybe even to set it high? Today’s answer may surprise you. If you would like to find out whether you should set and raise the bar for your kids or you should ditch the bar altogether, then today’s episode is for you.
Watching your child grow up can be a bittersweet affair. On one hand, it's exciting to see them become more independent and responsible and truly begin to manage pieces of their lives. On the other hand, it means we are more removed from their decision-making and have less influence on their lives. So how do you know when it's time to let go and let your child become an adult?
When the new year rolls around, a complete makeover is so tempting. Either that OR doing nothing sounds really good. Most folks are pretty polarized. Stay tuned to hear about a third option I like to call a "Plan B" mentality. If you want to hear how a fresh start could involve only 5 minutes a day, then this episode is for you.
Parenting can be an incredibly rewarding experience, but it often comes with its own set of unique challenges. One of these is the battle against perfectionism; striving to achieve the ideal outcome in everything you do for your children. It’s important to remember that this kind of thinking simply isn’t helpful. If you want to find out how making mistakes and learning from them is an essential part of the parenting journey, then this episode is for you.
When your teen shows up with an argumentative or belligerent attitude, you might feel yourself getting riled up. You don't want to debate things, but all of a sudden you are. I like to call this the hook. Some parents call it triggered. If you want to find out how to stop getting hooked in or triggered, then this episode is for you.
As parents, we often feel like things are happening to us rather than for us. If you consider Joseph Campbell's description of the Hero’s Journey, you can begin to see yourself and your child as heroes rather than victims of circumstance, even while you’re experiencing setbacks and failures. Stay tuned to hear how your parenting journey could lead you into the belly of the beast and how to navigate back out.
We talk a lot about the phases kids go through, but parents have phases too, especially when they’re working to up-level and hone their parenting. If you would like to know more about these phases, including the rodeo phase, then this episode is for you.
Today’s episode is about that tender and worrisome time when your teen is deeply struggling and the outcome is unsure. Do you have a child that’s addicted or coming out of rehab or a child that is struggling with self-harm or suicidal thoughts? If you want to experience more peace, then today’s episode is for you.
A strong spine or a soft heart? As a parent, I’m guessing you probably identify with one more than the other. What if your parenting could be a better blend of both? Check out this episode if you want to find more balance in your approach with your teens.
Most parents feel like their kids are making them crazy. Well, I have good news for you. If you want to know two simple steps that will have you feeling more relaxed and less worked-up, even in crisis, then today’s episode is for you.
You’ve probably heard that drugs are never really the problem. And if that’s true, then what is the problem? Why is your child struggling or acting out? Maybe it’s time to ask. And what if you're part of the problem? In today’s episode, I’ll address how to open up the conversation about what’s causing their pain. Stay tuned to find out how to listen to what they have to say.
Parents of teens often say this is the most exhausted they’ve ever felt. What if there was a way to actually shrink your exhaustion? If you’re interested in feeling more at rest, then this episode is for you.
What’s the best way to inspire your kids to work on their stuff? It’s for you to actually work on yours. We often get confused about whose life we are supposed to be taking charge of. We are to be taking charge of our lives.
In this episode, we take a look at 8 areas where you can take charge in your own life.
Parents have stories about what they think their family should look like. A lot of our suffering comes from the stories we’ve attached to. Today we are going to look at the possibility that some suffering is optional and how to change your mind about things.
Do you have family rules, but not really any consequences to back them up? And do you actually need consequences? If you’re interested in a more simple way to keep the peace, then this episode is for you.
We want so badly for our kids to step up and make decisions for their life. But have you ever noticed that when you get busy making decisions for them, they simply quit stepping up. Today’s episode is about how to leave their decision making position vacant, so they actually have something to step into. I will also talk about why it's so hard for parents to do this.
What if happiness wasn't the goal? One of the families I’m working with said they had the most relaxing vacation they’ve ever had AND half the family flew home a week early. You’re probably wondering what that looks like and why it happened. If you’re interested in hearing how some families go with the flow, change plans midstream, and get on board with what is, then this episode is for you.
Why do teens quit talking to their parents about how they’re feeling? Why do they quit talking to their parents in general? And does this have to be the case? If you'd like some answers, then today’s episode is for you.
As parents, it is often our deepest hope that our child will start to build a new life. That they will stop doing what has been holding them back and embrace things that will move them forward. Can we hope for this and what does building a new life actually look like? If you’re curious, then this episode is for you.
Ultimately, we want our kids to share their thoughts and feelings and turn toward us. But how does this happen? What needs to change? Listen to this episode to find out.
Are you worried your child is going to relapse and fall back into their old ways? You’re not alone. It’s one of the top fears parents talk with me about. In this episode, you’ll learn how to shift from fear and worry in a surprisingly new way.
Back to School is a great time to get back to business. And by business, I mean the business of parenting. Maybe you’re dreading the start of school because of how things went last year. Or possibly there has been a lot more flexibility this summer in your house rules than you had intended. If you’re looking to set things straight, then this episode is for you.
When it comes to your kids, your parenting is the number one thing in your control. It’s never too late to actively remake your parenting style. That begs the question, "What parenting style do you have?" Today's episode gives you a rundown on the different parenting styles that might be holding you back and the best way to make a change.
When your child who has identified previously as male asks you what you think of the wig and skirt they’re wearing, what are they really asking? What are the fears running through your brain and what is on the tip of your tongue to say back—and should you say that?
This week we will discuss these answers and what you can do as their parent.
As humans, we are hoping to evolve into the next best version of ourselves. What better way than accepting the invitation parenting gives us? It turns out to be an amazing opportunity to change, grow and evolve. No reason to stay trapped using outdated methods.
If you want to feel more present and less rushed in your parenting and your life, I have an approach from a 95-year-old Buddhist monk that’s going to knock your socks off. Find out how slowing down can actually make things better.
Are your emotions all over the map and do you feel a bit out of control? What’s actually the problem here? You would think it’s your child and what they are going through, but what if it’s you? Today’s episode is an exit strategy to get you off the roller coaster and back on stable ground, despite the ride your child is taking.
Do you hate setting boundaries and delivering consequences? Does it feel exhausting? Parents tell me they want to be done being the sheriff. Find out how to turn in your badge, sooner than you think.
How could a meth addiction EVER be a good thing? In this episode, find out how you can lower your stress level AND stop getting so wound up. Enjoy!