The Serial Monogamist: Recent Episodes
Laura
Follow me as I reminisce about each of my (many) ex boyfriends. I draw on a combination of relationship theories, then sit down with my mum to discuss my experience of love, heart break and what I've learnt along the way.
Today Mum interviews me to explore my journey with egg freezing. We discuss reasons you may wish to freeze your eggs, the process of egg freezing, logistics and costs and ethical dilemmas.
We often hear people talking about values in the context of dating a relationships. But what are they and what are some tools we can use to apply them when dating? Topics covered include: - What are values and their purpose? - Why are values important for mental health? - How can I identify my values? - How can I learn if something is in line with my values? - What decisions can I make once I discover a situation doesn't line up with my values? In the episode I refer to a values star, this tool is from "Why has nobody told me this before?" by Julie Smith. I will include an image on my instagram!
Today I will speaking with my good friend Anita. The topic? "Nice guys"! Not not nice guys, "nice guys". We explore definitions, and examples (in the form of text message chats and instagram reels), and the underlying assumptions of entitlement of the "nice guy". Lastly, Anita gives her advice about dating and dating apps.
In todays episode I reflect on one of my own dating stories and apply it to attachment theory which was discussed in the previous episode.
Ever wondered why some people make the same bad decisions in dating over and over again? Today I am going to summarise Attachment theory! This theory has a lot of academic research behind it and provides a lot of answers for common behaviours we see on the dating scene. Sources for this episode include: Journal article: "Attachment adulthood structure, dynamics & change" by Mikulincer & Shaver Book: "Attached" by Levine & Heller Website: The attachment project
In Today's episode I speak with Rebekha Campbell, writer of the book "138 Dates". She shares her insights after going on a per week until finding her husband Rod. We discuss the following:
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How grief can impact dating and relationships as we move forward
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Processes to use while internet dating
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Some of her memorable dates
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The pitfalls of looking for "chemistry"
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The tendency to use relationships to fill a void
To find out more about Rebekha Campbell's work go to her website (https://rebekahcampbell.com/) were you can find the first five chapters of her book for free! You can also learn more about her courses on dating, relationships and business.
Today Mum and I discuss the viral Psychology Today article “The Rise of Lonely Single Men”. We discuss the topics reported in the article including
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Higher number of men on the dating apps
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Women's increase relationships standards (including emotional availability, relationship skills, and overall emotional / mental health)
We also contribute our own thoughts to the discussion
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The evolving nature of marriage
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Broadening of self concept for men and women
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Lessons that can be learned
This episode discusses types of happiness that are empowered and disempowered. Concepts drawn mainly from the reading “Power of Now” by Echart Tolle
Dorinda, the dating and relationship coach, joins me to discuss common issues people face in dating. We cover how modern life changes the dating scene, the variety of dating apps, and importance of self love. Find Dorinda at https://bio.site/DorindaBarker
Mackenzie from Taste of Blonde podcast is back!
In today's episode we play a game called Dating Dictionary. I provide some terms that reflect the common dating experience and Mackenzie tries to guess what they mean. How many will you guess correctly?
Annnnnd we’re back! Curious about the world of casual dating? I speak with Mackenzie (Kenz) from Taste of Blonde podcast about her experiences, tips and life lessons around casual dating.
Welcome to the last episode of the season! Today I take a deep dive into my relationship with myself and look at my experiences in love in single-hood with a birds eye view. Mum and I sit down to discuss some of my relationship patterns and what might be governing them!
Resources include:
Books: "The Subtle Art of not giving a fuck” by Mark Manson, and “Emotional Education” by Alain De Button
Videos: Esther Perel videos found on her official instagram
Ever wondered what dating someone with kids is like? This episode explores the rise of single and blended families. Then mum and I sit down to discuss my learning process to assimilate into an already formed family unit.
Resources for todays episode:
- Websites include: The Australian Institute of Family Studies 2021
- Books include: Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel
NOTE: Visit my new amazing website at www.serialmonogamistpod.com - Created by Felicity aT Barfly Content
Do relationships with large age gaps last? When can you tell if someone is too old or too young? This episode is a two parter! I will discuss my two age gap relationships (with Junior and Senior), and reflection on the lessons I have learnt from each relationship.
Sources include:
- Websites include: ABC News article titled “Why couples with big age gaps are happier despite social disapproval” by Gery Karantzas, The New Republic article titled “Science does not support the rule of seven for relationships” by Alice Robb
- Videos include: Dr. Phil talkshow video titled “Reasons why many huge age gap marriages end in divorce”
- Podcasts include: The Hookup hosted by Nat Tencic episode titled “Dating with big age gaps”
How much of yourself do you share with others? I explore the relationship between sharing with others and building relationships. Mum and I sit down and reflection on the stark differences between myself and Mr. Unassuming that helped me understand what I need in my relationships.
Sources for today's episode:
- Website include: Mind tools article titled “Self Disclosure”, Very Well Mind article titled “How self disclosure affects relationships”, Psychology Today article titled “Relationship satisfaction depends on self disclosure”
- **Youtube videos : The School of Life video one titled “Friendship and vulnerability” & video two “The importance of vulnerability”
TED talk video titled “The power of vulnerability” presented by Brene Brown, The London Reel video titled “Esther perel on what makes us feel meaningful”, The episode was also inspired by Esther Perel’s work more broadly, particularly recent posts on her instagram “EstherPerelOfficial”**
Have you ever been in an overly critical relationship? I delve into theories that explore why humans have the tendency to criticise and whether or not it is the best way to promote change in others. Mum and I then sit down to discuss some bizarre moments in the relationship and what I learnt about relationships and myself
Resources include:
Websites: Psychology Today article titled "The one good thing that will ruin a relationship" by Steven Stosney,
Books: "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie,
Youtube videos: "Esther Perel explains why your partner criticises you" presented by The Knowledge Project, "The best predictor of divorce" presented by John Gottman
This week's episode brings with it laughter...and tears! I sit down with mum to reflect on my time with Mr. Infidelity, what I learnt about relationships but more importantly what I learnt about myself.
Resources for this episode
- Websites: Psychology Today article titled “Why is infidelity so common”, Women’s health article titled “The weirdest way to meet the love of your life”, The Guardian article titled “Pheromone parties: one way to sniff out a new lover”
- Books include: “Mating in Captivity” by Esther Perel
- Youtube videos: Alain de button lecture titled Romanticism and Esther Perel’s TED Talk titled “Rethinking infidelity”
- Podcasts: Savage love hosted by Dan Savage
What happens when we fall in love? I investigate the biology of attraction and love. Mum and I sit down to discuss our disparate experiences in love. Mine ending in heartbreak and hers leading to 42 years of marriage and counting!
Resources for this episode:
Youtube videos: "Do humans have pheromones" presented by SciShow, "Science of attraction" presented by Down Masler and TED Ed.
Books: "The Compatility Gene" by Daniel M. Davis, "Modern Romance" by Aziz Ansari,
Podcasts: The Hookup hosted by Nat Tencic (episode titled "Saying I love you"),
Websites: ABC Science, The Scientific American
Journal articles "Ovulatory Cycle Effects on Tip Earnings by Lap Dancers: Economic Evidence for Human Estrus?" by Geoffrey Miller and Colleagues (2007)
Let's talk online dating! I will discuss some behavioural and thought patterns associated with this form of dating. Then mum and I discuss the changes brought on by an era dating with screens!
Resources for this episode:
Books: “Modern Romance” by Aziz Ansari, “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell
Websites: The Stanford News
Podcasts: The Hookup hosted by Nat Tencic (Episode titled “Quitting Dating Apps”) & The Happiness lab hosted by Dr. Laurie Santos (Episode title “Choice Overload”)
Did you have a high school boyfriend? How did your expectations differ from the reality? In this episode I discuss how the romantic era shapes our ideas about relationships in the present day. Mum and I also sit down to discuss both of our high school boyfriend experiences.
Resources for this episode
Youtube videos: Alain De Botton’s lecture on Romanticism,
Books: “Mating in Captivity” by Esther Perel, “Modern Romance” by Aziz Ansari
Websites: The BRITISH Psychological Society, “Science of Happiness” online course created by UC Berkley (found on Massive Open Online Courses - MOOC)
Hear is what you can expect from 'The Serial Monogamist'. First episode coming 21st of June.
Season one (My Story) will explore my own experiences in love. Following season one, I explore all things love and relationships!