The gracefamilyluv's Podcast: Recent Episodes

Gracefamilyluv

Focusing on encouraging others to stop surviving and start thriving. Married life does not guarantee happiness and being married certainly doesn't guarantee you will live out a "happily ever-after". In fact, anyone who's married can tell you that married life can be very difficult to manage. We at Gracefamilyluv are no strangers to hard times. We are a blended family with "his, hers & ours" children. Joe has a son from a previous marriage, Vanessa has a son from a previous long-term relationship and together they have one son and one daughter. Our goal is not only to help you manage a blended family but to bring hope to the struggling mother and father, provide encouragement to the stressed out husband and wife and let you know, you are not alone. We are here to provide practical tools that you can put into practice to help you cultivate a healthy and loving family dynamic. A healthy family starts with you. You are not alone. You can reach out to us anytime leaving a comment or contacting us through other social media avenues. We'd love to hear from you about how we can be of support. Together, let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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Welcome to the Gracefamilyluv Podcast. In this episode, we'll discuss how "dying to self" can allow the Holy Spirit to bring change in your heart and completely change your marriage for the better. Faith and marriage are meant to work together, not become polar opposites. Our faith reminds us to be loving, forgiving, and kind. Our faith reminds us to die to our selfish, fleshly desires that could destroy our marriage. Christianity can deepen and enrich your marital bond. Be careful that satan doesn't set a trap for you to fall into that will cause you to fall so deep that you lose yourself and your loved ones in the process. We'll embark on an engaging dialogue in each episode, drawing inspiration from biblical teachings and real-life experiences. Together, we'll uncover the profound significance of faith within marriage, highlighting how it can positively impact communication, trust, intimacy, and overall relationship dynamics. Through heartfelt conversations, practical advice, and biblical reflections, we'll address common challenges couples face, such as navigating conflict, fostering spiritual unity, and nurturing a Christ-centered foundation. Whether you are newlyweds, longtime partners, or considering marriage, this podcast offers a safe space to explore and rediscover the power of faith within your relationship. Join us as we navigate the complexities of modern relationships, debunk myths, and provide guidance for embracing a Christ-centered approach to love, commitment, and lifelong partnership.

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Do not let your emotions rule you! Your emotions are not the truth. When you become stagnant in life, it only allows the worst in us to fester. We should sow generously and expect to reap generously. If we aren't generous, we cannot receive from others. If we are not careful, we can fall into the trap of selfishness that only leads to destruction. If I'm living selfishly, I'm not serving others. If I'm only focused on myself, I miss the beautiful things around me. What would life look like if you gave 100%? How different would your life look? Marriage advice to get us through the brokenness can be helpful, but in the end, your decisions will get you there. There has never been anyone that's been 100% committed to something and found themselves unsuccessful. Our selfishness and inaction are no one else's fault. We may have a mental mess in our minds, but that doesn't mean we can't live out our purpose in life or that we can't be free from anxiety and other issues. God is for us, and He brings order to chaos. Let's hold our minds and thoughts captive to Him, focus on what God would have us do, and respond in love. Let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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There are things we don't think about when we consider God's comfort and guidance. Just as much as we pay attention to our physical well-being, God wants us also to consider our spiritual well-being. What happens to the body when we are not adequately hydrated or without nutrients for long periods? We are malnourished. This has physical effects on our bodies that can cause great harm. Our health can be compromised, and our defenses weakened. The same can occur when we are without the proper "spiritual nutrients," and likewise our spiritual defenses can be compromised. When we go extended periods without prayer, reading, worship, and congregating, we make ourselves vulnerable to spiritual attacks that can cause us to stumble. In contrast, these same attacks may have little to no effect when we are in prayer and close communion with God. It's in our best interest to stay connected to God and allow the Holy Spirit to sit on the throne of our hearts. Then, we find ourselves living with Peace, Love, Patience, Kindness, Joy, Goodness, Gentleness, Self-control, and faithfulness.

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We all struggle but be encouraged... God is with you. He will strengthen you. He will uphold you with His righteous hand. Don't allow anything or anyone to steal your joy. The more we focus on where the Holy Spirit is leading us, the freer we are to let go of the expectations that often lead to our own disappointment. Most time, what God is calling us to do will play out differently than what we can design for ourselves. The bad news... it's not all about you. The good news... when you surrender control to Jesus, the results will always lead to a place that serves its purpose in a greater way than we can imagine. Jesus loves you and is for you. You are not alone in your struggle. Have peace through the struggle. Have peace and take heart that Jesus has overcome the world. Together we can overcome and even more so when the Holy Spirit is involved. Together, let's stop surviving and start thriving. Blessings!

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God is definitely with us and He is on the move! We've just finished a 40-day fasting period and we are focused and in hopeful expectation to see what God will do next in our lives... and all around us. If one thing is certain, we will do our best to not allow fear to keep us from doing what God has called us to do. Don't let fear stop you! He is always watching out for us. It's time to refocus our hearts and our attention on what God would have us do. In this season we will choose faith over fear. Join us as we recenter and refocus to see what God will do next. In this season there will be a breakthrough. Let's sit in gratitude and thank Him for how far He's carried us. Together let's go from surviving to thriving. Blessings!

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We recently went to theaters to watch The Chosen Season 3 and couldn't wait to share our thoughts on what we saw and felt! It was something that everyone should watch, believer or not, everyone will see a bit of themselves in these episodes. The crew from the chosen show released episodes 1 and 2, back to back, and it was worth every moment to get to see what it may have been like to experience the teachings of Jesus from a human perspective and see how Jesus never shied away from the human reaction to what He was teaching and also the very real and present sacrifice/danger that came along with preaching a message that went against the customs of their time. In watching this new season, you will hear the stories you've come to hear preached across many pulpits but this time with an opportunity to put yourself in the very scene and experience the excitement, passion, fear, and doubt of those hearing the message and immediately were expected to live it out. It was bold, and challenging, and moved our hearts. We couldn't stop crying. lol. but in a very good, soul-cleansing way. We hope you'll take the time to watch it and let us know what you thought. Blessings! All in all, the hope of Jesus is alive and moving even today. It's our hope that everyone would come to know the love and grace of Jesus through a relationship with Him. Let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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"Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ." ~1 Corinthians 11:1

In recognition of Pastors appreciation month, we just couldn't let the time go by without acknowledging two very special people. These two people have helped us live out our Christianity not just by giving sound biblical advice but by living it out in their own lives. Thank you, Pastor Gabriel and Pastor Mimi Carvajal. We bless the day God brought you into our lives and we consider it God's grace and favor over us that He would allow us to have you to help guide us. We love you and want you to know how much we appreciate you. We appreciate all you do in your commitment to fulfilling God's calling over your life to spread the Gospel message. Thank you for being an example of just how wonderful it is to serve others. God bless you!

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Hindsight is always 20/20 but there are 3 things I wish I knew when I became Christian. Living a Christian lifestyle comes with plenty of stereotypes and like many, there is almost always a "hint" of truth. The reality is that the choices life presents you with don't have to be overcomplicated; we make life much more complicated than necessary. Vanessa and I are happy to share honestly about where we've misplaced our focus and how we would have liked to have done things differently. We can't go back but we can share with you to hopefully encourage you through the process. God is not done with you yet and as the saying goes, "We may not be where we want to be yet but thank God we aren't where we used to be." Together let's stop surviving and start thriving. Blessings.

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Happiness is a choice and even in a perfect storm, you can have peace. In this episode, we share how changing your thinking, choosing happiness, and acknowledging that God's ways are greater than our own can lead you to the life of freedom and happiness you hope to have. What would happen if you just accepted that sometimes, life is just hard? It doesn't mean God is punishing you or that He's left you... sometimes life is just... life. Trusting in God frees us to no longer have to carry the burden of worry and doubt. Let's talk about it; together let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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Join us as we share three tips to help you move on and move forward. How often have relationship problems shown themselves all because of something that happened in the past? All too often? We're here for you. It doesn't have to be that way; your history does not have to determine your future. You are not alone and there is so much more to life, love, and relationships other than struggling, fighting, and settling. Together we can stop surviving and start thriving!

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Sex and love are two topics that should be discussed together. Intimacy in a marriage is such a deep and beautiful connection, designed by God to be the pinnacle of one-ness and love in a relationship between a man and a woman. When we treat it with the love and respect it deserves, it is unmatched. Within the context of marriage loving and respecting your spouse only allows the intimacy to grow deeper still. There are some conversations that we avoid and shy away from but sex shouldn't be one of them. Join us as we share what a healthy love life might look like. We hope this is a blessing and helps spark communication in your relationship that brings you closer together. Two people in marriage are designed to be intimately one. Together, let's stop surviving and start surviving. Blessings.

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It's true and you don't have to be an expert to know that... growth sucks! You are absolutely not alone in your suffering. Let's talk about how to get through it. If you're alive you've been put in a situation that's been new, unexpected, and uncomfortable. What is your emotional default when things get tough? Do you get angry, go therapy shopping, or drink? What is your distraction? There is a reason why you feel what you feel when stressed. Take the time to understand what it is about the event that is triggering you. We all have a tipping point that causes us to "lose it". Instead of taking it out on our loved ones, let's talk about it and grow from it. Together we can stop surviving and start thriving.

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We only have so much time with our children and even less time to help form their characters through parenting and teaching. It's no secret that no one is perfect and oftentimes, it seems as if we're always, "a day late and a dollar short". When was the last time you went to God for parenting advice? Join us as we share how discernment has played an important role in our parenting relationships with our children and in our marriage. Who better to ask about your kids than the one who created them, God. It only makes sense that we can turn to our heavenly father to know how we might teach our children best, after all, God knows them and will help you guide them. Hopefully, our oversights and mistakes can help you along your journey to figuring out: How love and correction go hand-in-hand, How comparing your childhood with that of your kids' can cause major issues and, How not engaging with your kids for the hard conversations is setting them up for failure in that by avoiding them you are avoiding your short term discomfort but causing them long term suffering. Together we can overcome, together let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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song reference: https://open.spotify.com/track/3WbjKX2tEaI5N5ptKtW3P8?si=dff935fc2b3e45ea

There is so much of what happens in our life that we can't control. When life feels out of control, what will you do? There are three things that we have absolute control over 1. Our effort; 2. Our response; and 3. Our attitude. We can either allow life to make us bitter or better. It's our goal to allow God to teach us through the heartache of life. By using this time to grow instead of being defeated, we can bounce back stronger and wiser and skip the complaining and enjoy the life we've been given, right where we are at the moment. Meanwhile, we can enjoy the journey without sacrificing our peace and joy along the way. Let's talk about it. It's time to stop surviving and start thriving.

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We had the blessing and privilege to take part in a missions trip to Guadalajara, Mexico. What a blessing it was! Our local church, Koinonia Worship Center went with a group of people to provide support to the church we helped plant in a place called Zapopa. The church members we met were absolutely amazing and the people and children we encountered while evangelizing in the area were an inspiration. It was so refreshing to work with others who were passionate about what we are passionate about. At the same time, being back has left us with an ache in our hearts to want to do more. Part of us wanted to stay and the other knows there is more work to be done right where we are. Join us as we share our experience and what God is doing in us.

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In our impatience, our mindset can discourage us when things aren't happening as fast as we'd like. The way we think influences our actions and the way we react to situations. When we are intentional about our thoughts, we can step into a better way of life. When we change our mindset, everything changes. We can become better spouses, better parents, and all-around better people. What is it about your mindset that you would like to change? We can work on it together. Together, let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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As we close out this year, we are grateful for the love and support we've received from all of you. Above all else, God has been the foundation and the driving force to keep this project going. We have certainly had our fair share of hardship, doubt, and faith-shaking moments but it has been God's grace, mercy, and favor that has sustained us through it all. We've taken some time off to allow Vanessa to further heal from another procedure and have taken the time to "fill our cups". While we have been seeking God's presence, you have continued to pour out support and love for us. We especially appreciate the prayer support. We are grateful for all the closed doors and we are extremely excited to walk through newly opened doors. We hope you can join us in what God will do next. Loving God and loving people is our goal for 2022 and we hope you'd come along with us for the journey. Blessings. Together let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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All too often today vows don't mean much when the "feeling" of love has been lost. Fairy tales and movie love don't exist in real life... the way we love each other in marriage is oftentimes messy and is certainly far from perfect. Love in a marriage (or in any relationship for that matter) goes up and down much like a rollercoaster. What holds you to your vows when times get hard and the butterflies you started with are nowhere to be found; it should be your commitment to the relationship. Commitment is what helps you to love your spouse when they are acting "unlovable", commitment is what causes you to turn a blind eye to the temptation to seek romance outside of your marriage when you are struggling and commitment is what provokes you to serve your spouse ahead of yourself even when they are acting childish and undeserving of your time and attention. Successful marriages are not found by accident, they are forged through messy struggles, growth, and learning. Your love can stand the test of time (and arguments, temptations, and struggle) when it's founded on the love of Christ. Christ's love for us teaches us about commitment and sacrifice; it teaches us how to push through even when there is sure to be a struggle ahead. You can choose to fight for your marriage. Together let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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When we consider the cost of the grace God has made available to us we see just how costly this undeserved gift truly was and is. Sadly, oftentimes, we cheapen God's grace and use it as cover to live as we please and for personal gain. This lifestyle only leads to a false sense of humility and we run the risk of becoming a fake Christian. Holding a reverence and appreciation for the grace of God allows us to respond to the conviction that comes when we aren't living in obedience to God by drawing nearer to Jesus. As a result, He draws near to us. When we have a contrite heart or a heart that is full of repentance, we have access to the forgiveness of God and can receive the strength to resist temptation and have yet another opportunity to begin again, in right relationship with Jesus. When we are outside of God's grace, we are overcome by our imperfections and temptations and live a life of guilt that satan can use to deter us from a close relationship with Jesus. In doing so we may take on false standards and unrealistic expectations that can become destructive to our physical, mental, emotional, and certainly our spiritual well-being. Today let's decide to drop the false and unrealistic expectations. We are not perfect but God does not require perfection. Let's focus on your relationship with Jesus and know that you are loved. In the journey of life, let's seek progress over perfection. Let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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Proverbs 19:21 says "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

We have spent years fighting and struggling, trying to make one another change while individually we are fighting to keep from drowning in our problems. And although we haven't quite figured it out yet, we are learning to trust that God has a plan that is far better than our own. It doesn't mean we sit back and wait for God to do everything, not by any means; but it means we have come to understand that even when things don't turn out as we planned, it's not the end of the world. Where we end, God takes over... when our plans fail that is the moment when our faith fills the gap between our understanding and God's plan for our life. We hope to encourage you to step out in faith and trust that God will always see you through any of your plans and if your plans fall through. He will never abandon you in the process. Let's choose to trust in God no matter what the circumstance and together we can stop surviving and start thriving. Blessings!

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As heartbreaking as it is, abusive relationships are rampant and it doesn't have to be that way. We do get a "say" in where we choose to spend our time and in which relationships we decide to invest our time in. Although we are all about allowing God to restore broken families and relationships, we are absolutely against abuse. If you are a victim of abuse, please know that there is help for you and you don't have to allow it. Being created in God's image means that your value is not determined by your current situation, you were created with purpose and your value is present and not a consequence of your circumstance but a condition of being God's creation. God wants more for us. Know that you are loved and that you can choose to seek to better your situation, your life relationship with God, and others. Let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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Depression may come but we don't have to take it laying down. If you struggle with depression, I pray our testimony will bring you encouragement that there is hope and there is a light at the end of the struggle. Satan loves to kick us when we're down but at some point, enough is enough. Know that you are not alone and you have an advocate in Christ and He will fight the battle with you and for you; will you give him the authority to move freely in your life? Is His will the main focus in your life? Let us share with you how we are fighting back against depression and how God has been moving in our lives to bring a newfound peace and faith right in the middle of this health storm. Struggling with pain and medication has been a difficult journey but I am growing stronger and wiser and no matter what, I will praise Him through this process and I believe somehow, this will be used for my good. In Christ alone, we can go from surviving to thriving. Blessings.

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Having my last SVT episode was the most painful experience I've ever been through. Although painful, I can't say I'm the only one going through a painful situation and I'm not the only one having to live with the consequences of something that seemed to be out of my control. We are all trying to figure life out, we all have "curve balls" thrown at us and we all have to keep pushing through. Here's what I'm learning right now.... even when life sucks, even when I don't have it all figured out, and especially when things don't make sense- God is still good! I still have so much to be grateful for and now that my time on earth was almost over, I can see that much more clearly now. Every moment with family, hugging and kissing your loved ones and every breath, is a gift from God. Let's decide together to be grateful and let gratitude influence the way we see everything we will face in our day. Together, let's stop surviving and start thriving!

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A few days ago my heart stopped three times; twice in the ambulance while on the way to the hospital and once at the hospital. I've never wanted to have a near-death experience in order to gain a clearer perspective on what matters in life but with everything I've been through, my eyes have been opened. This experience was not only the most painful thing I've ever felt but it allowed me to answer deep and important questions about what I'm doing with my life and whether or not my heart is in the right place. Here are some questions I've been forced to ask myself and in this podcast episode, I'd like to share what happened. Do you know where you're going if tomorrow you weren't here? Would you be ok with what you've invested into the people you love? Did you love them enough to allow them to know God's love, to know about God? Did you set a good example of what it is to be a person that has God in their heart? What legacy are you going to leave behind for your kids to carry? Will they be able to bear your absence? Would they fall into depression in your absence and feel empty or would they be able to deal with the pain because God would be there for them because you introduced them to God and gave them that gift? In the end, God is ever-present and His grace, love, and favor never leave me. In Christ, we can stop surviving and start thriving.

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How you love your spouse says a lot about who you are. And even when we don't realize it, the way we treat our spouse tells others a lot about us. Did you know your example can be a testimony to others that God is still moving today? Join us as we share how God moved in a great way while we were out of town for a few days. Vanessa recently had a medical procedure on her back that causes severe pain and discomfort and it is teaching me that in these delicate times, my ability to serve her is absolutely necessary to help her through this tough season. I can't take away her pain but my love can provide her comfort while she goes through this. How have you served and loved your spouse through the hard times? Let's work together to become better servants. Let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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Relationships are hard work! No matter what kind of relationship it is, it's going to take time and effort to make it successful and keep it that way. Unfortunately, when things are not going well, we tend to take out our frustrations on the ones we love most. If we can focus on growth and understanding ourselves, it will also help us to learn about what makes our spouse "tick". Sex, love, affection, and expressions of love are all very important ways to let your spouse know you love them. Communication is a must. All too often men and women leave their feelings and expectations unexpressed but that leads to a very lonely and painful place. Are you willing to have the difficult and possibly embarrassing conversations that lead to true depth? On the other side of effort is a beautiful relationship filled with love, grace, and peace. Let's open up and see what happens. Let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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If we understood the power of our words and just how much what we say has an impact on those around us, we would be much much more cautious about what we say to others and ourselves. What is a man if he doesn't have his word? There is so much truth to be discovered but we can't possibly gain ground hiding behind lies and living a life of self-seeking pleasure. It is possible to speak the truth in love. It is possible to not agree with your spouse and still be loving and graceful. It's not what you say a lot of the time, it's how you say it. If we can get past worrying about what everyone else thinks and decide that we are going to be honest, even when it hurts, we can truly discover that the truth really does set you free... there really is healing that comes through confession but what happens is that we are too scared of looking bad in front of others. Being honest means admitting when you're wrong, you have to be vulnerable and speaking the truth even in the face of pressure from others. Let's make a commitment to ourselves and to our spouses that will be honest men and women. That doesn't mean we set out to hurt other people's feelings on purpose but it does mean that through love we can be honest with the intention of making our situation better... it also means laying your pride down and admitting when you're wrong. Being honest about our situation creates space for the opportunity to take the next step toward change and growth. Let's stop surviving and start thriving, together.

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We've had the amazing privilege of attending our first seminar as GFL and God was definitely on the move! What a privilege it is to serve others. Not all of life's situations are what we would have hoped for but that does not mean we can rise out of the ashes, stronger and wiser. While serving others we get to see just how much God's love is needed and even more so we have the chance to see how we can each be someone that can influence the world for the better. Patience and grace for those in the middle of their "messy process" is another opportunity to show and share the love of Jesus. If we want people to have patience for us while we figure life out, we should have patience for those that are also figuring it out for themselves. Let's talk about Patience and how having grace for others can help you be "ok" with someone else's process. Let's walk together to stop surviving and start thriving. Blessings!

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We are back! Thank you everyone for all of your love and support. We took a couple months off for several different reasons but we are here and moving forward. We'd like to share with you and share our lives with you in new ways. Let us know what you think about the changes in setting and format; we'd love to hear from you. More than anything we'd like you to be a part of our daily lives and a part of our podcast. We hope you enjoy the change but also, we hope to continue to inspire and encourage you as we share what God has been doing in us. As we continue on this journey, consider subscribing and becoming part of the GFL fam, and let's work to stop surviving and start thriving... together! God bless you.

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Recommended resource:

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-qa/the-significance-of-a-fathers-influence/

We shouldn't underestimate the value and importance of the Father's role in the family. As a father myself, I can't imagine not wanting to do everything within my power to keep my family (wife and four children) safe from harm. Although you may feel like you get it wrong the majority of the time, we just want to encourage all the dads out there; Happy Father's Day! If you feel like you're putting in the work with little to no results, don't get discouraged. If you're a step-dad doing your best to balance the family dynamic as you do your best to raise children that aren't your own, be encouraged because you have stepped into a role very few are equipped for but rest assured, those children need your love. For all the parents out there, remember this, "The same day you plant the seed is not the same day you eat the fruit". It may take years for your little ones to understand what you know now and why you are doing what you do but don't lose heart because you matter and your influence matters. Your family is depending on you. Be loving, be kind, be graceful and see how God moves in the midst of all you do. Together, let's not focus on what we aren't and focus on the good we can do now for our family. Let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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Maintaining a positive mindset is a choice. Although difficult, you can choose to be happy in spite of what your circumstances might look like. Stop listening to your negative feelings and definitely stop listening to the negative committee in your mind that likes to fill your head with lies about what could happen or what might happen. Your negative mindset could be holding you back from reaching goals you only dreamed about. Many of us are comfortable with the idea of growth and the change that can come from it but few are willing to put in the effort and hard work it takes to produce the change needed to truly make progress in life. Work to stay away from the excuses and complacency that lead us back to our comfort zone. Our comfort zone leads us right back to where we started and getting nowhere leaves us completely frustrated with no one else to blame but ourselves. The bottom line is, if you do nothing, nothing changes. Let's make a commitment to growth and progress; together let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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We believe many families are completely comfortable with the idea of doing "things" together and making memories. I also believe we are very much in agreement about allowing our children, as they become adults, to make their own decisions and decide what they want to be and how they want to live their lives. Wouldn't it be most effective if we could give them the "pros and cons" of life and show them how making the right choices can help them avoid a lot of heartaches? Wouldn't it be appropriate to give your children as much information as possible in order to allow them to make informed decisions? We think so, too... so why shouldn't this same thought process apply to our children in teaching them about what it means to have a relationship with God? Having a relationship with Jesus can help them navigate even the most difficult times of life. Children today can have a very difficult time opening up and holding things in can be detrimental to their emotional and physical health. Let's set them up for success by being willing to have difficult and important discussions with our children... let's teach them right from wrong, let's guide them in the way they should go, let's teach them about what it means to have a loving relationship with Jesus. Together, as a family, let's stop surviving and start thriving. Blessings.

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Setting goals and having visions and dreams is an important part of our lives but we can't be so focused on the endgame that we forget about the joy, love, and experiences to be lived out during the process. And although we cannot guarantee we will reach our goals and dreams, what we can be certain of is that discouragement will always be lurking just around the corner waiting for any moment to step in to take the wind out of your sails. If there has ever been a dream killer, it's been discouragement. One day you can be ready to conquer the world and the very next moment, you just want to crawl and hide under a rock in total defeat. Again, have goals, have dreams and visions, but don't forget that we live in the "process". Each step we take toward our goal is "life". It's in those moments that our character is formed to receive what God has for us. How can we properly appreciate the end result unless we are formed in the process to appreciate it? How can we appreciate the little things like air conditioning in a vehicle unless you've driven in a car without and had to sweat the whole drive home? Don't let discouragement along the way keep you from finding peace and gratitude in the little things in life. Don't let discouragement steal your joy and keep you from enjoying the growth that comes during the process of reaching our goals. There is so much more that God wants for us and although we might struggle for a season, the sacrifice will be worth the reward. Stand firm, keep the faith, and stay steady on your path. Together, let's stop surviving and start thriving. Blessings!

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I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “Faith over fear.” I can certainly appreciate the deeper explanation that goes, “Faith and fear require the same from you; They both require that you believe in something that has not yet happened.” One of the saddest things I can think of is to live a life filled with dreams that never were fulfilled because of a fear of failure. I know that in each one of us sit goals, dreams, and aspirations just yearning to come out. My personal struggle is that I can talk myself out of anything. I criticize myself so much that I can justify all the reasons I’ll fail and therefore I do not try. I even justify that I’ve now done myself the favor of not wasting time on something that wouldn’t amount to anything anyway. What about you? Are you paralyzed by fear? Have you kept something bottled up inside because of what you think others might say? Or maybe you have friends or family that criticize everything and you just don’t want t to have to deal with that... whatever the struggle is, the time to overcome is now. God has created you and you are unique. Focus on who He says you are and you won’t have to worry about being any other person than yourself. Allow His love to fill your heart and your life and you will experience His truth when He says, “Perfect love, casts out fear.” Let’s not be paralyzed by fear, let’s choose to overcome. Together, let’s stop surviving and start thriving.

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How many of us use threats to get what we want from our kids; you know how they go... “If I have to tell you one more time...!” Or “You’d better cut that out or I’m gonna...!” What can happen is through consistently using this tactic we use fear to manipulate and most of the time we don’t follow through and now we’re teaching our kids that if they hold out long enough we’ll give up anyway. What if we used that same consistency to nurture love and correction? What might change if we used that same consistency to teach our children that they can control their attitudes and not reward them until they show a change? Join us as we discuss some lessons we’ve learned in life along the way. We were forced to consider the question, How successful will our children be in life if they aren’t overcome by the different circumstances life throws at them? What we teach our children now will have a lasting impact on the life they choose to live. Let’s teach them to stop surviving and to start thriving.

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Join us as we talk about the importance of giving your boys the tools to grow up to be successful men. Your boys may not understand it now but it is in their best interest to know that their conduct will bring positive or negative consequences. As parents, we have the great responsibility to teach and guide them in the way should go- we cannot overlook that our actions will speak louder than our words. Don't be afraid to engage with your boys and guide them to be a gentleman. They can open doors for mom or sister, they can help dad bring in the groceries so the ladies don't have to and they can help mom put gas in the car at the station. There are several things your boys can do now but it takes the loving guidance of a loved one to show them the way. Let's choose to take an active role in teaching our boys to be chivalrous. Together let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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Disclosure; affiliate link will support the GFL Podcast.

Book reference: https://amzn.to/33Ys7ab

If we could go back in time, would we change a few things here and there; probably so, but you know how that goes... time is something we can never get back. If you could take the heartache and the lessons you've learned along the way and share it with others (like your children), would it be worth it if you can help them avoid some of your mistakes? We think so too, and we would definitely want our children to do better than we did. In this episode, we talk about what to look for in a spouse. There are often signs and symptoms that will indicate to you whether or not the person you intend to date is someone who is "good" for you. Teach your children not to be blinded by emotions and butterflies. Teach your children what a good relationship looks like and create healthy boundaries with them now so that if a relationship doesn't fit within certain boundaries, they can walk away before sex, children, and marriage. One of the most wonderful things about dating is that you don't have to stay together if you don't want to. This doesn't mean you can't get out of a toxic marriage but it definitely helps to avoid a toxic relationship before all of the commitment and covenant of marriage. This also leads to a healthy sense of commitment so that when someone makes those "vows" it's not solely based on the same emotions and butterflies that often blind us. If you are looking for your spouse, remember to have the difficult conversations now while there isn't a covenant solidified by vows spoken in the presence of witnesses. Having the difficult conversations beforehand now will help avoid a lot of heartaches later. Let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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Disclosure; affiliate link will support the GFL Podcast.

Book reference: https://amzn.to/33Ys7ab

When it comes to communication and getting what you need, most of the time it's not what you say, it's how you say it. Well, in this case, when it comes to getting what you need from your spouse, "what" you say plays a huge role in communicating clearly. If you aren't communicating clearly, you can't expect to be understood and if you aren't understood, your needs won't be clear and it would then make sense that your needs are not met. And don't underestimate how much influence you have over your spouse. For better or worse, what you tolerate today will become a habit tomorrow. Join us in this episode as we discuss how we've learned to get what we need from one another to make sure our needs are met in our pursuit to meet each other's needs. Love and relationships are hard work but it's not impossible. You are not alone. Together, let's stop surviving and start thriving. Blessings!

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It has been said that hindsight is always "20/20". Well, we can't turn back time but we can share our story, and hopefully, you can be encouraged to know you are not alone and that you're not the only one who's gone through it (or going through it). If you aren't married or you are thinking about marriage this is a great opportunity to think about some important discussions to have before you tie the knot. Trust us, it doesn't do any good to avoid some of the difficult conversations before marriage thinking you are hoping to avoid conflict before the "big day". The conflict will come, that's just life, but when it does, it doesn't have to be a deal-breaker; it can be another opportunity for growth. Join us in this episode as we discuss what we wish we knew and what conversations we wish we would have had before getting married. This doesn't mean we regret marriage or that we wish we would have chosen someone else... it is just a reflection on some of our struggles and recognizing that we would have saved ourselves a lot of stress and heartache had we been mature enough to discuss some areas that caused us the most contention. Our goal is that you might be encouraged through our struggle (and hopefully avoid some of your own) so we can all stop surviving and start thriving. :)

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Joe here, this Father's day season, taking some time to acknowledge Dad for his contributions to the family and home could be a "game-changer". Life is tough and sometimes we make it even tougher on ourselves by taking our frustration out on one another. yikes! I'm guilty of this. This might surprise you but what usually pulls me out of that toxic mindset is when Vanessa decides she not gonna take that from me but instead of responding by yelling and name calling, she responds with love and a harsh truth. I truly believe that behind every good man is a great woman. If anyone might look to me and think I am a "good husband" I assure you that I am who I am in large part because Vanessa has helped pull the best out of me and has committed to not accepting my best... not perfection but my effort to be a loving and supportive husband and father. What do you see in your husband that made you fall in love with him? What greatness do you see in him? When was the last time you let him know what great things you see and when was the last time you pointed out those qualities that make you proud to be his wife? Let him know and see what happens. A gift is a bonus; your love and encouragement is priceless. Let's stop surviving and start thriving.

Links will be placed below for some of the items I referenced in this video. Full disclosure, these links are affiliate links and will go towards helping us continuing to put our message out in hopes of reaching just one in need some practical advice.

Beats: https://amzn.to/3hoNxFt

Shaving Set Up: https://amzn.to/3tQAy24

Fossil Watch: https://amzn.to/3w00IRl

Speaker: https://amzn.to/3oflb1Z

Wallet: https://amzn.to/2ROmKb0

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In the heat of an argument, some of the most dangerous words that can be spoken are, "I don't care." Join us in this episode as we discuss how caring can improve your life. Joe explains how Not Caring creates challenges in marriage and in life. Although difficult, it can be overcome. It might sound harsh or difficult to think that your spouse doesn't care but "not caring" doesn't mean you wish bad on someone else; in fact, not caring can be another way of saying, "I'm not overly excited about that." Now, this may not seem harmful but when your spouse expects you to care as much as they do it can be a shock when you don't. This misunderstanding can allow feelings of resentment, anger, and bitterness to infiltrate your relationship and cause division. Furthermore, you can really flat out hurt someone's feelings. Like in any area of life, acknowledging you have an issue is the first step toward personal growth and change. Together let's learn to become students of our spouse to love them better and care more deeply. Let's be perpetual students and seek personal growth always. Together let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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We see you Mom! You are amazing, you are strong, you are loving and compassionate. A big shout out to all the Mommys out there giving their all for their loved ones. We see you!!!! God bless you and keep you. May God bless you this day and every day after.

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Song recommendation:

https://youtu.be/H0wpP5o7xpI

Isn't it strange how when we think of someone we consider extraordinary, it seems to come so easily. Isn't it also strange that we can easily imagine others being extraordinary but when it comes to ourselves we're like, "m'eh". Well, let's talk about it. Join us in this episode as we discuss how we can go from ordinary to extraordinary. Let me get you started by letting you know that being ordinary is the only pathway to being extraordinary. You don't have to waste your time just trying to get by in life; you don't have to waste your time trying to be like someone else. You are already unique so you can check the box for "awesomeness". You are the only "you" so live it well. What would become of your life if you stopped taking things personally? Each of us has opportunities every day to be extraordinary and at this point, we may have to acknowledge that the only one holding us back is... well... us. No more... let's stop surviving and start thriving. 

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song recommendation (in spanish): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ66yrvHi4k

We see you, Mom! And we appreciate you! We see you working hard and giving your all. Happy Mother's day to you. Join us in this episode as we give some perspective for your hubby to see a different point of view as to why it's important to teach our children how to appreciate their mothers by leading by example. We also have something for you as you may have expectations that don't allow you to enjoy the day with all the pressure of what you expect your day to be like. Be sure to stick around till the end as we'd like to give you some encouragement to keep pushing forward. Whether you are a mother, step-mother, or single mother we know you are working hard and giving your all to make sure that everyone has what they need... even if that means you have to go without. Just know that your sacrifice is not in vain; the lessons you will leave with your children will be remembered and will come to mind at the precise moment to help them overcome. God bless you with strength and encouragement to keep raising your kids with love, patience, and grace. Let's stop surviving and start thriving so our children can do the same. Blessings!

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Being in love is one of the most wonderful feelings ever! But, it is a "feeling". What do you do when you don't "feel" love the same way you did in the beginning? When this happens, it doesn't mean everything is lost or that someone in the relationship needs to be replaced; it's just an indicator that your relationship is maturing or changing and that there's work that needs to be done. How do you stay in love? How do you keep love alive? You get to work... Join us as we discuss what it was like for us going through our ups and downs and how we were able to get through the rough times. We also give you some practical tips on how you can keep love alive in your relationship. Put this advice into practice and you can certainly expect results. Just know you are not alone in your struggles and you are not alone if you are ready for something more in your relationship. Let's work together to cultivate that loving relationship we'd always hoped for. Together, let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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¡Pueden pasar muchas cosas en el transcurso de un año! ¡Feliz cumpleaños, Vanessa!

Únase a nosotros mientras Vanessa discute las lecciones que ha aprendido el año pasado y en el transcurso de casi quince años de matrimonio. No ha sido un camino fácil y, a decir verdad, todavía no es fácil, pero eso no significa que no disfrutemos de la vida y el matrimonio que hemos construido juntos. Aquellos que tienen la bendición de despertar a otro día de vida tienen un día lleno de decisiones esperando ser tomadas. Entre todas las decisiones que tomará hoy, no olvide que puede elegir ser feliz; puedes elegir tu actitud y cómo responderás a todos los desafíos de la vida. No importa dónde te encuentres en la vida o cuál sea tu título, todos tenemos que administrar lo que tenemos frente a nosotros. Usted, el presidente y yo tenemos el mismo período de veinticuatro horas para vivir y todos tenemos algo que decir sobre cómo ejerceremos el autocontrol. La vida es demasiado seria para tomarla tan en serio. Mientras se esfuerza por ganarse la vida, no se olvide de disfrutar de la vida. Mientras estás en el camino para alcanzar tu meta, no olvides que la vida se vive durante esos momentos entre la línea de salida y la de llegada. Elige hoy para ser feliz y disfrutar de la vida. Dejemos de sobrevivir y comencemos a prosperar.

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A lot can happen over the course of a year! Happy Birthday, Vanessa!

Join us as Vanessa discusses lessons she's learned in this past year and over the course of almost fifteen years of marriage. It has not been an easy road and truth be told, it's still not easy but that doesn't mean we don't enjoy the life and marriage we have built together. Those who are blessed to wake up to another day of life have a day filled with decisions just waiting to be made. Amongst all the decisions you will make today, don't forget that you get to choose to be happy; you get to choose your attitude and how you will respond to all of life's challenges. No matter where you are in life or what your title is, we all have to manage what is in front of us. You, me, and the President all get the same twenty-four-hour period to live with and we all have a say in how we will exercise self-control. Life is too serious to take so seriously. While you are out hustling to make your living, don't forget to enjoy life. While you are on the journey to reach your goal, don't forget that life is lived during those moments in-between the start and finish line. Choose today to be happy and enjoy life. Let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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¿Por qué podemos admitir que nadie es perfecto, pero cuando nosotros (o alguien a quien amamos) cometemos un error, actuamos tan sorprendidos? No creemos que haya sucedido o nos frustramos con nosotros mismos, nuestro cónyuge o nuestros hijos. Únase a nosotros en este episodio para compartir los beneficios que recibimos cuando somos capaces de reconocer nuestros errores y aprender de ellos. Existe una gran libertad para deshacerse de la carga de tener que hacer las cosas siempre bien. Recuerde esto, un fracaso es un evento, no una identidad. Los errores no te definen a ti, a tu cónyuge ni a tus hijos. Si podemos cambiar nuestra percepción de lo que significa cometer un error, creo que podemos remodelar nuestro futuro. ¿Cómo sería su vida si buscara la lección en cada percance y la usara para ayudarlo a superar y lograr lo que se propuso lograr? Normalicemos los errores. Juntos dejemos de sobrevivir y comencemos a prosperar.

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Why is it that we can admit that no one is perfect but when we (or someone we love) make a mistake, we act so surprised? We are in disbelief that it happened or we get frustrated with ourselves, our spouse, or our children. Join us in this episode as we share the benefits we receive when we are able to own our mistakes and learn from them. There is great freedom in getting rid of the burden of always having to get things right. Remember this, a failure is an event, not an identity. Mistakes don't define you, your spouse or your children. If we can change our perception of what it means to make a mistake I believe we can reshape our future. What would your life look like if you looked for the lesson in each mishap and used that to help you overcome and achieve what you set out to achieve? Let's normalize mistakes. Together let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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Es una pregunta difícil, pero definitivamente vale la pena plantearnos. ¿El orgullo está matando tu relación? El orgullo es algo con lo que toda persona debe luchar durante su vida. Aunque está en todas partes, no todo el mundo habla de lo dañino que realmente puede ser. El orgullo es lo opuesto a la humildad. El orgullo no te permite crecer, tener relaciones saludables y no te permite tener paz. Únase a nosotros en este episodio mientras hablamos de cómo el orgullo está afectando personalmente nuestra relación. Hablamos de cómo nosotros también lo estamos resolviendo. Le damos algunos consejos sobre cómo detectar el orgullo y cómo responder de una manera que nos ayude a no permitir que el orgullo destruya aquello por lo que nos esforzamos tanto por mantener juntos. Primero, las malas noticias ... el orgullo siempre es destructivo y conduce a una vida de vacío y soledad. Destruye familias y vidas personales. La buena noticia es que puede hacer algo al respecto hoy. Decide hoy que no permitirás que el orgullo abra una brecha entre tú y tus seres queridos. Decide hoy que el amor conquistará el orgullo y decide con tus seres queridos dejar de sobrevivir y empezar a prosperar.

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It's a tough question but it is definitely worth asking ourselves. Is pride killing your relationship? Pride is something that every person must struggle with within their lifetime. Although it is everywhere not everyone talks about how damaging it can truly be. Pride is the opposite of humility. Pride doesn't allow you to grow, to have healthy relationships and it doesn't allow you to have peace. Join us in this episode as we discuss how pride is personally affecting our relationship. We talk about how we too are working through it. We give you a few tips on how to spot pride and how to respond in a way that helps us to not allow pride to destroy what we are working so hard to keep together. First, the bad news... pride is always destructive and leads to a life of emptiness and loneliness. It destroys families and personal lives. The good news is that you can do something about it today. Decide today to not allow pride to drive a wedge between you and those you love. Decide today that love will conquer pride and decide with your loved ones to stop surviving and start thriving.

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Recomendación de cancióna (esta en ingles):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXsxw1fRHMA

Recomendaciones devocionales:

https://amzn.to/32gmy6e

https://amzn.to/3dhEWBS

https://amzn.to/3mNU6lC

¿Eres realmente libre? ¿Crees que hay libertad en la Verdad? Únase a nosotros en este episodio mientras hablamos de la libertad que se obtiene como resultado de leer y conocer la palabra de Dios. Cuando permites que la palabra de Dios influya en tu vida y puedes ver que tienes un propósito que va mucho más allá de lo que pensamos, puedes vivir fuera de las presiones de la cultura del mundo. Imagínese esto: saber para quién Dios lo creó y no tener más la presión de sentir que necesita ser otra cosa que usted. Imagínese esto: no tener que vivir bajo la ansiedad y el estrés del mañana porque con su fe intacta, usted sabe y comprende que Dios abrirá un camino incluso cuando no podamos ver una salida. No existe una pastilla mágica ni una varita mágica para hacer que su situación cambie o desaparezca, pero Dios nos ha dejado Su palabra para que la ponga en práctica y la use como guía de vida. Si seguimos Sus principios, Él promete cuidarnos. Dejemos de sobrevivir y comencemos a prosperar en la palabra de Dios y permitamos que Su influencia sobre nosotros nos guíe en el camino que trae vida, amor, paz y gozo. Bendiciones.

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song recommendation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXsxw1fRHMA

Devotional recommendations:

https://amzn.to/32gmy6e

https://amzn.to/3dhEWBS

https://amzn.to/3mNU6lC

Are you truly free? Do you believe there is freedom in Truth? Join us in this episode as we discuss the freedom that comes as a result of reading and knowing God's word. When you allow the word of God to influence your life and you can see that you have a purpose that goes far beyond what we thought, you are able to live outside of the pressures of pop culture. Imagine this: knowing who God created you to be and no longer having the pressure of feeling like you need to be anything other than you. Imagine this: not having to live under the anxiety and stress of tomorrow because with your faith intact, you know and understand that God will make a way even when we can't see a way out. There's no magic pill or magic wand to make your situation change or go away but God has left us His word to be put into practice and used as a guide for life. If we follow His principles, He promises to take care of us. Let's stop surviving and start thriving in God's word and allow His influence over us to guide us in the way that brings life, love, peace, and joy. Blessings.

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¿Cuántas veces en la vida has necesitado detenerte y respirar profundamente para tratar de calmar el "circo" que pasa por tu cabeza? ¿Te encuentras luchando por detener los pensamientos negativos? Únase a nosotros en este episodio mientras discutimos las muchas distracciones que pueden robar nuestra atención de lo que realmente importa y de quién realmente importa. Comencemos diciendo que tienes la opción de renunciar a tu paz o no. Tienes la opción de prestar atención o no a lo negativo o lo positivo que sucede a tu alrededor. Y tienes la capacidad de influir en tu hogar y en todos los que te rodean para bien o para mal. ¡Mantén tu paz! Nadie puede quitarte la paz, pero ciertamente puedes renunciar a ella. No cometa el error de creer que es por lo que otra persona hizo o dijo lo que hizo que lo perdiera: todos podemos elegir por nosotros mismos lo que permitimos que nos mueva, inspire e influya en nosotros. Toma la decisión ahora mismo de que nada ni nadie tiene el poder de robar tu alegría o tu paz. Toma la decisión ahora mismo de enfocarte en lo positivo (quizás apagar las noticias puede ser un gran comienzo). Elijamos juntos dejar de sobrevivir y empezar a prosperar.

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How many times in life have you just needed to stop and take a deep breath to try and quiet the "circus" that goes on in your head? Do you often find yourself struggling to stop negative thoughts? Join us in this episode as we discuss the many distractions that can steal our attention from what really matters and from who really matters. Let us start off by saying, you have a choice to give up your peace or not. You have a choice whether or not to give your attention to the negative or positive that goes on around you. And you have the ability to influence your home and everyone around you for better or worse. Keep your peace! No one can take your peace from you but you can certainly give it up. Don't make the mistake of believing that it's because of what someone else did or said that caused you to lose it- we all get to choose for ourselves what we allow to move us, inspire us, and influence us. Make the decision right now that nothing and no one has the power to steal your joy or your peace. Make the decision right now that you choose to focus on the positive (perhaps turning off the news can be a great start). Let's choose together to stop surviving and start thriving.

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El dolor es una parte muy real de la vida, sin importar el estilo de vida que viaje. Los tiempos difíciles están destinados a llegar, pero la forma en que respondemos marca la diferencia. Nuestra respuesta es una de las pocas cosas sobre las que tenemos control absoluto. Un sabio amigo me dijo una vez: "Mi respuesta es mi responsabilidad", lo creo de todo corazón. Únase a nosotros mientras hablamos de algunos de los tiempos difíciles que estamos viviendo en este momento y también compartamos las lecciones que hemos aprendido y seguimos aprendiendo, a través del dolor. Generalmente, podemos aprender a través de las personas y el dolor. No siempre podemos elegir de dónde vienen las lecciones, pero tenemos "voz y voto" en lo que elegimos aprender mientras vivimos. No importa en qué situación esté viviendo en este momento, decida ser un estudiante perpetuo; Decide buscar la lección de vida que te ayude a superar tus circunstancias y tener una versión más fuerte y sabia de ti mismo. Elija ahora mismo dejar de sobrevivir y empezar a prosperar. No estás solo, estamos juntos en esto y estamos aquí para apoyarte.

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Pain is a very real part of life, no matter which walks of life you travel. Hard times are bound to come but how we respond makes all the difference. Our response is one of the few things we have absolute control over. A wise friend of mine once said to me, "My response is my responsibility"- I believe that wholeheartedly. Join us as we discuss some of the hard times we are living through right now and also share the lessons we've learned and continue to learn, through pain. Generally, we can learn through people and pain. We don't always get to choose where the lessons come from but we have a "say" in what we choose to learn while we are living. No matter what situation you are living in right now, decide to be a perpetual student; decide to look for the life lesson to help you rise above your circumstances a stronger and wiser version of yourself. Choose right now to stop surviving and start thriving. You are not alone, we are in this together and we are here to support you.

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If you've lived at all, chances are you've suffered loss. In this episode we talk about letting go of someone, closing the door on the last chapter and moving forward. It's a topic that's close to our hearts because we too have gone through loss on different levels. Have you left your past behind you or does it still keep you from moving forward? Everyone is life is living out their season and when seasons change, not everyone is meant to move on with you. How will you respond when someone leaves you or when a lifelong relationship no longer exists? It's hard to tell what you'll do until it happens but if you can look for the lesson, you can live in greater appreciation for the relationships of today and if the relationship comes to an end you can be at peace with yourself, the situation and with the person that may have left. It's not always easy but if you stop and think about it, you are who you are today because of a wealth of experiences and relationships that have shaped you. And whether someone has built you up or whether you've had to rise from the ashes of a negative experience, know that you are someone great and capable of accomplishing great things. It's time for a shift of mindset, it's time to let the past stay in the past, appreciate those who have come and gone and together let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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There are not enough words to describe our gratitude for all your love and support. So instead of trying to type it all out, let us just say, "Thank you!" To serve you is our hope and to help reach you with our life experiences is our hearts desire. God bless you. You are not alone. You have our support and we are here for you help. Together, let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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Stop hating yourself! Overcoming self-rejection isn't easy but it is possible. Isn't it strange how we wouldn't allow anyone to get in our face and badmouth us but we are quick to belittle ourselves? We spend too much time putting ourselves down and not nearly enough time building ourselves up. When we look in the mirror, we see flaws, faults, inability; we feel guilty for all things we are not and take on the pressure to be someone else as if we would be so much happier being someone we are not. Let me be the first to remind you that you are so valuable... you have purpose and the ability to achieve anything you set your mind to do. I know this because like me, you are God's creation and He designed you with purpose and with abilities beyond what you give yourself credit for. Don't waste another day putting yourself down because of your past. Don't waste another second belittling yourself and making yourself feel "less-than" because of what you didn't do in the past. You are so much more than what you think and there is so much to enjoy in this life; don't allow negative thoughts to steal your joy, your peace and your happiness. You are an overcomer... you are more than what you see. Join us as we discuss overcoming self-rejection. Spend more time reminding yourself of your strengths and less time listening to those negative "voices". Let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400205875/ref=as_glm?linkCode=ml2&tag=styledbyv-20

If you've been rejected, definitely watch this. Rejection sounds like a "bad word" and we certainly can connect countless negative feelings and emotions to the scars rejection can create. All too often rejection causes us to doubt ourselves, question our choices and cause us to even reject ourselves thinking that we have to change who we are in order to become more openly accepted. Let me tell you, God does not make "junk" and you are God's creation so even without knowing or understanding, you have purpose and value beyond what you can see. So, what do we do about rejection? How do we respond when rejection comes? For starters, we should know that in life, we will experience and face rejection... it's just a part of life. What needs to change is the way we perceive rejection. God often times will use rejection as a clear indicator that a "door" has been closed. This could be a closed door in a relationship, job opportunity or big financial decision but that closed door is not a reflection of YOUR VALUE... it may only be God redirecting you away from something that will cause you harm or great suffering. During a season of rejection, dig deeper into your relationship with God and seek His guidance and direction so that you make Him a part of your decision making process. He will never lead you astray. This season may be the season that leads you to reach the goals you thought were unachievable. This closed door may guide you to the open door that helps you achieve your dreams and visions. Let's stop surviving and start thriving. God Bless You.

the song that made me laugh: www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrG6QIuga7k

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Book recommendation: https://amzn.to/3eVxjSX

It's no secret that teenagers have to live under an intense amount of pressure from culture and friends... but they don't have to go through it alone. Does your teen know that they are free to make mistakes? Do they know they can turn to you when things don't go right or when they find themselves in bad situations? YOU may know that you're there for your teen but do they know? Having a teenager in the house can be challenging because they are still young... no longer children but also not yet adults. In many ways they are struggling to find their voice, their independence and their identity. While this is happening the temptation to "let them be" is overwhelming for the parent who is also wanting to be supportive and loving (or trying to look past all the eye-rolling and attitude for your teen). We want them to have space to figure it all out and we hide behind the one-liner, "If you need me, I'm here" or something like it. The trouble with this is that teenagers, more times than not, don't want to be vulnerable; vulnerable isn't trendy, it isn't a quality becoming of someone who "has it all together". Needing help isn't what "independent" people do. So how do we help them work through this? We engage... we don't just wait for the problem or the meltdown... we get involved. WE ask our teens how they're doing, WE watch for the signs and symptoms that there is something wrong and when we see them, we investigate. Love can be tiring and time-consuming but it is well worth the effort to let your teen know they are loved just as they are, that there is strength in vulnerability and that they have a safe-haven in you and in their home when needed. Let's put in the effort to help show and teach our teens to stop surviving and start thriving.

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Teaching our children about consequences is so much more than just parenting in the moment. I believe at some point in our parenting life we've yelled a similar phrase to our children, "YOU HAVE TO THINK BEFORE YOU DO THINGS!" Deep down, I believe we want our children to think before they act and/or speak. Our intentions together with actions really matter here... Are we only griping or are we investing the time and energy in our children to stop and teach them to think before they act and speak? What might that look like? What are the long-term results? Join us in this episode as we discuss this together. If you'd like something to think about in considering what your child's future might hold just compare your own life to the life you hope to build in your children. What were you taught growing up? As you grew, did you think ahead about the consequences of your actions? Did you realize that EVERYTHING you did brought consequences- for better or worse? Were you able to understand that you are where you are because of the choices you've made? Yes, I know, it's a lot of questioning but compare this to what you are teaching your children... they are either going to learn the hard way when life hits hard or they can learn it together with you while they are near to benefit from your support. Let's leave our children better off than ourselves, let's teach them to stop surviving and start thriving.

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Book recommendation: https://amzn.to/3rlTk0D

Just because a situation seems negative, doesn't mean you can't learn something positive from it. This same concept can be applied to parenting. Positive parenting isn't always easy but with practice it can become a powerful process to help us become great teachers to our kids. Sometimes we forget that we are forming the character our children will become when they are adults. Join us as we discuss a tip to help remind ourselves to take every opportunity to parent and not just punish. "Ready, set, go (gently)!" is our parenting tip for you. When applied it gives us, as parents, an opportunity to stop and think about how we're about to interact with our children. How would we react if we were able to go into the future and see how our kids would turn out after every time we loved or mistreated them? I know I would behave much more differently and much greater attention to how I speak to them and how much I show them love. Instead of living in fear or regret about how our children will turn out, let's make some changes now that will allow us to enjoy our children and help to raise the loving compassionate adults we hope they will become. As parents, let's stop surviving and start thriving... When we can reach that goal, we raise children who will also thrive. You got this!

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Parenting can be all of the stereotypical things you see and hear about in the movies: stressful, exhausting, draining, overwhelming, lonely, sacrificial and (insert your own personal experience here). To put it simply- it is not easy! With all that being said any normal parent would also agree there are also wonderful things that happen in our experiences as parents. With all of its struggles what we don't want is to unnecessarily make it more difficult than it already is... let's not make life harder on ourselves. Join us as we enter into a series all about parenting. In this episode we give some insight to what our life is like as parents with our blended family of six. We share some of the burdens we faced within. Don't beat yourself up Mom and Dad, you are doing a better job than you think. At times, a simple shift in mindset can make a world of difference. What would change in your parenting life if instead of mandating your children to do "things" you took the role of teacher to guide and instruct them? What would change in your relationship with your children if you looked at them for the adults they will become instead of yelling at them and responding to every question with, "Because I said so"? Let's talk about it. It's time we had a shift in mindset so we can stop surviving and start thriving.

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song recommended: https://youtu.be/XCndrZEo2Kc Join us as we share the most recent lessons we've learn through pain. As Vanessa states in this episode, it's not easy to go through pain... for years! When you are hurting, who do you turn to? How do you keep your thoughts and perspective in-check? We discuss these very questions. God has used this painful process to take us through a transformation that may not have otherwise taken place. We have grown so much closer together and the deeper we go, we realize that this process of "transformation through pain" is also helping to reveal our purpose. Today we understand that we would not be who we are today without this process and we would not be able to use our experiences to lift up and encourage others. Now, before you think this is some fairy tale lesson... just know that we struggle, cry, argue and find ourselves without answers quite often but in these times, we lean into God, we seek Him through His word and get the support and advice we need, when we need it. It's in God's presence and word that we find the truths that remind us we can't always listen to our thoughts and emotions as they often times lead us astray- especially when we are consumed by pain. Many times, it is very difficult to redirect our attention to anything other than the hurt but if you can practice holding your thoughts captive to Christ, you will find yourself with the grace and strength needed to get through another day. We will not overcome our struggles by our own strength but by His spirit. Let us give thanks in all things. Our perspective plays a large role in how we view our lives and whether or not we will grow through the pain. Let's grow together. Let's stop surviving and start thriving.

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Book recommendation: https://amzn.to/3awlUoH

Marriage 365 love languages resource: https://carraslife.wordpress.com/2017/01/12/psychologist-william-james-said-that-possibly-the-deepest-human-need-is-the-need-to-feel-appreciated-gary-chapman/

Ever wonder what the "5 languages of love" are? Join us as we discuss what they are and how to apply the 5 languages of love to your marriage. This resource comes directly from the book written by Dr. Gary Chapman. This has been an absolute game-changer in our marriage so it's only natural that we want to express and share how it helped. You might be surprised because it didn't help in the way you might think... we were in such a bad place that we spent most of our time hurting one another, mostly due to immaturity. We had no idea of how to communicate nor did we even understand how to express what we were feeling and going through. This book helped lay a foundation to a new way of communicating and understanding one another as we became more familiar with ourselves. You see, I know communication will always come up when couples discuss what areas they need improvement in but how can you communicate what you don't even understand? How can you share what you need if you yourself don't even know what you need? How can you love your spouse better if you don't understand how they want to be loved? We discuss all this and more... we hope you find this helpful and encouraging to get you on the right track stop surviving and start thriving.

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Book recommendation: https://amzn.to/3awlUoH

There is no magic pill or secret recipe for love... it is hard work and there's no way around it. Love is hard, marriage is hard, hell, life is hard! But it doesn't have to be impossible and you are not alone. Join us as we discuss how difficult our marriage was and how we overcame our "dark years". With hard work and effort, we have been able to cultivate a home of love and peace. In this episode we share 3 tips for him and for her that can help you grow deeper in love or jump start your relationship if that ship seems to have sailed long ago. With Valentine's day rapidly approaching, "love" will be everywhere and we'd like it to be a day to enjoy and not yet another day of just surviving and struggling through the misery. The grass will never be greener if we don't take time to water what we have and take the time to give our relationship the TLC it needs. Each one of us has wonderful things about us that can help our relationships thrive. Don't give up, don't quit... give it all you've got. Allow God to give you the strength to do everything within your power to rebuild and start anew. Your family is worth it... you are worth it! Let's stop surviving and start thriving. We believe in you.

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song recommendation: https://youtu.be/LM1qrx0Huds

When it's hard to love, where do you start? Although it's easier said than done, today start with yourself. Let everything you do, be done in love. Loving yourself is a great way to practice. The way you see yourself or the way you "talk down" to yourself has a deep impact on how you feel about who you are and how you allow others to love and treat you. This is particularly devastating when God wants so much to be a part of your life but by your very own self-destructive behavior or poor view of yourself, you simply do not allow God into your life for any of the following reasons: you feel you don't deserve love; you don't believe you live holy enough to be heard by God; you don't think you are important or special enough to be allowed to receive God into your life; and the list goes on. Well let me tell you, God's love for us has nothing to do with who we are but has everything to do with the loving God He is. His forgiveness, grace and favor are available to you just as they are for all who would accept and receive Him into their heart. Would you dare to allow yourself to be loved? As we approach valentine's day and all the talk of "love" and a daily expression of love, search for a longer, deeper lasting love that comes from Jesus. Let's stop surviving and start thriving. Let all that you do, be done in love.

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Are you struggling to find the confidence to move on? Many of us do and many of us still struggle regularly. Join us as we discuss how we find the confidence to move on with the hope of meeting you right where you are to help you do the same. There is so much going on around us that we often times overlook all that is going on within. We have the ability to be free of past hurts and heartaches but that comes with a price... we may have to forgive and let go of things or people that hurt us and sometimes we feel that if we let go, we give those that hurt us a free pass; but the truth is, we only hurt ourselves when we fail to let go and move one. Know your worth, know that you have value and also know that you have a God-given power in your words and mind to be rid of toxic relationships and old bindings you have had to toxic people from your past. You are the greatest benefactor of letting go of unnecessary baggage. A more confident "you" is a happier "you" and everyone around you gets to enjoy the best of all you have to offer and all that you are. God designed and created you with purpose! You are unique, you are worth letting go of the past and finding the confidence to move on. It's time to stop surviving and start thriving.

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Have you ever wondered if God's love is for you? We have. Join us as we talk about how sometimes we feel so messed up and broken that we are unworthy of love. Sometimes we feel so bad about our lives that we can't possibly believe that anyone can love us just the way we are. I assure you that God does not see you as we see ourselves and His love for you is not based on the good or bad you've done but on His goodness and love for you. He promises not to leave you nor forsake you and wants to be with you through all the highs and lows of life. Will you allow Him? There is nothing you can do, good or bad, to make God's love for you increase or decrease. He loves you. Sometimes we are just so unwilling to forgive ourselves and others for our past or current state that it hinders us from truly living the healthy life we desire. Stop worrying about whether or not you deserve it and start making positive changes; forgive yourself, forgive others... stop surviving and start thriving.

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Finding gratitude in sickness is always difficult and for countless reasons. Suffering is one of life's most unpleasant experiences; however, it can also become a great moment of reflection. Join me as I share what my own illness is teaching me about myself and my marriage. Sickness is affecting many of us and no one is exempt... how you respond is 100 percent up to you. It's easy for anyone, from the outside, to give their advice or tell of how they might manage illness but each one will have their time to experience difficulty and at that time, will also have to navigate its rough waters. Finding gratitude, even in the most unlikely circumstances can help you push through an emotional lapse, physical discomfort or sense of hopelessness. No one is meant to go through life alone. God is with you and He is for you. I hope you are able to have the loving support of friends, family or both. If you need someone you can also reach out to us. You can connect with us and leave us a comment through Podbean, Iheartradio, Pandora, Spotify, Youtube, Instagram, and Facebook. You are not alone. Together we can stop surviving and start thriving. 

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Having those necessary conversations with your children can be very awkward but I assure you, they are necessary. Join us as we discuss why it’s important to engage your children. One of the greatest mistakes we can make as parents is not developing healthy boundaries and structures for our kids to thrive in. Each family will have to determine, on their own, which boundaries to create, what will be allowed and what will not. We are certainly not here to tell you how to run every detail of your life but we would like to share some practical advice on what type of conversations are important to have with your children. Here are some quick questions to get you thinking: Have you shared your story with your children? Do they know what you’ve been through? Have you shared your mistakes and how you overcame adversity? These are just a few of the great conversations to have with your children that can help them learn from you, hopefully avoid making the same mistakes and reach greater heights than you thought possible for yourself. Their success starts now, at home with the ones they love most… with you.

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song recomendation:

https://youtu.be/15CGKy3R4Es

https://open.spotify.com/track/1bojRy5in1TdHzdWdxULgr?si=g3E5ft-WRAuuqK8tlWKIIw

Have you ever been at a point in your life when you just don’t know what to do next? We have. Take advantage of the new year and join us as we discuss what to do, when you don’t know what to do. It’s ok to not have all the answers; it’s ok to understand that you are not ok. It’s even ok to not know where to go or what to do next… we are coming out of this season ourselves and we would like to share with you what helps us hit the reset button. The best part… you don’t have to wait until next year to hit it again and again. You can do this as often and as many times as you’d like- this part is completely up to us. You are not alone, better days are ahead, this year is not determined by social media or what others say and think. You can decide right now that this year is better and you can decide right now that you will be happy. Let’s stop surviving and start thriving.

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How accountability can change your relationship… this is a topic that can cause many arguments in the home. From our experience, men do not like to feel like they have to “answer” to anyone. Generally, men cling to the belief that, “This is my problem and I’ll fix it”. What happens is, we continue making the same mistakes because we don’t have the ability to see ourselves from an outside perspective. If we can understand that accountability can be the very thing that helps us take the next step toward growth, it becomes less about “answering” to someone and more about reshaping our character. I believe all men would like to think they are trustworthy and upright but without the guidance of someone who can be honest and loving, chances are, we are spending a lot more time struggling in our relationships and hurting our loved ones when it doesn’t have to be that way. Now, add this to the mix… what if your wife can be your greatest accountability partner? We love poet sayings like, “A king is nothing without his queen” and “Behind every great man is a great woman”. Don’t get me wrong, I believe it’s true but we struggle to put in the work that brings truth to those statements. Let’s make this year the year we listen to one another and hold ourselves and one another accountable to be loving and kind. Let’s stop surviving and start thriving.

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Although there are many causes identified which have the potential to lead to break up or divorce, communication continues to be an area of struggle. Much like trust, communication touches all other areas of our relationship for better or worse. If you are unsure as to how to communicate effectively with your spouse, consider joining us for our most recent episode where we talk about our own struggles and give helpful tips to ensure you can improve your communication. This advice will help both sides of the relationship to succeed. If 2021 is going to be better than last year, let it be because we invest in ourselves and our relationships. We hope this is helpful and that it adds value to help produce change in you and your loved ones. Most of the time it's not what we say, it's how we say it. Let's fix our sights on improvement one day at a time so we can stop surviving and start thriving.

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Have you ever found yourself asking, “What’s my purpose?” Trust us, you are not alone; in fact, I’m asking myself that question right now. Join our conversation as we discuss the transition we are in right now and how we intend to discover our purpose in 2021. It’s our hope that we can encourage you to stop surviving and start thriving. I truly believe it’s in all of us to want to live to our fullest potential and spend our time living out our passions. In our pursuit of purpose you’d be surprised at what might be holding you back. Let’s plan together to let go of the baggage that doesn’t do us any good and look ahead to even greater things in this next year. Before looking to only change our situation, let’s change our mindset and focus- The best is yet to come!

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Shout out to Washington State! Thank you for joining the GFL Fam!

Want to stop surviving and start thriving in 2021? Join us as we discuss the many seasons of life and how we manage the ups and downs of life. Throughout the highs and lows, there will be "mountain top" moments where we celebrate when things are going our way, but we also can't avoid the "valley low". But we don't have to accept a negative outcome as a permanent status for our lives... we can accept it as a season of life knowing that tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to do better and to make better choices. This season is temporary so hold fast to the hope that although there may be tears tonight, joy comes in the morning. No matter what season you are in at this moment, look for the lesson that will help you grow in character and resilience. Through those life lessons, God is preparing you for the great blessing which comes just on the other side of the struggle. Don't quit, don't give up, you are almost there... this too shall pass. We can get through it together. God bless you.

To order your custom tumbler visit: https://www.instagram.com/epoxy.nana/

For your daily inspiration follow Vanessa here: https://www.instagram.com/gracefullylivingwith_v/

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Tune in as I discuss how to react during the holidays when the nothing is normal. One of the greatest pieces of advice I've ever received, goes like this, "My response, is my responsibility". This means no matter what happens outside of our control, I still get to choose how I respond. During this pandemic and when nothing is normal, make the situation work for you... decide that just as the situation this holiday season isn't normal, you are not going to take it as any normal day. Let this Christmas be the time you decide that change is a good thing, that maybe we needed to slow down and reflect on what matters most, and that no one person, situation or thing get to decide your happiness for you. You can decide to let gratitude be the lens through which you see all things. Let your gratitude help frame your mindset to make this Christmas the most loving, the most cherished and the most stripped back intimate time with your spouse and children... all because you decided it would be so. Remember, your response is your responsibility. Choose peace, love and happiness. Merry Christmas!

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Join us as we worship in our personal storm. Many might ask, "How do you connect with God during hard times?" During times of pain and struggle, it is very difficult to focus on anything other than the pain. Speaking from personal experience, I tend to hurt my loved ones when I'm hurting. It's not something I do intentionally, it happens because I stop thinking of others and make my pain the center of my world. In these desperate times, we need God more than ever. You can choose to connect with God when you feel lost and without direction. You don't have to wait for Sunday service or for a "lockdown" to be over- right now you can choose to read your bible, pray and worship Him in all things. During this season of pain and heartache, we encourage to seek the lesson in your situation. Stop and ask yourself, "What can I learn from this to ensure it doesn't happen again?" Although a journey to new discovery may have began in heartache, it can end with rejoicing and happiness. Lean into a relationship with God, look for the lesson and rely on Him for the solution. There is always an exit. Allow God to give you clarity in your darkest of times. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you.

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It is possible to have a Christian marriage and fight over religion. In this episode we talk about how religion alone does not solve all our issues. What's more is many times when one member of the couple doesn't believe the same way, we can judge one another and further cause a divide in the relationship. We had to struggle over our religious differences; she grew up "Religious" and I didn't. When I decided to have a relationship with God and go to church, our different points of view cause serious problems for us. In the end, we had to be ourselves and be ok with our spouse not being the same. The most difficult part was trying not to force one another to change but through loving-kindness and servitude toward one another, we gave each other space to change when we worked on our own self-improvement.

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In this episode we discuss why it's important to communicate during times of pain and suffering. We are supposed to be a support to one another in sickness and in health. I truly believe we try hard to be just that but we fail in not being able to show empathy and compassion for one another. When you're in pain, it's difficult to think about anything or anyone else. When you're the one watching your loved one in pain, it may be disheartening and cause you to lose sight of all the ways you can be of help. Sometimes just to be present is enough; other times, we may think we are being helpful but still not meet the most basic need of our loved one... the solution... communicate. Be willing to talk about it and be willing to listen. Together we can overcome any obstacle. When we are there for one another and work together when faced with adversity, the victory is that much sweeter. 

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In this episode I share with you some of the mistakes I’ve made that almost cost me my second marriage. I truly believe when people marry, they want the best and have the best of intentions in mind for their future. The problem is that good intentions don’t get us anywhere. All too many times we think what we know is enough and place no value in seeking advice to better ourselves. More times than not, we only seek advice as a last resort. This is not the position we want to be in. We can get ahead by seeking advice when things are ok, to capitalize on the lessened emotional strain and stress. Bottom line, we just think better and process information better when our emotions don't have the best of us. Wherever you might find yourself in your relationship, maybe you’ve just tied the knock or perhaps you are at the end of your rope… wherever you are, it’s always a good time to pray and seek the help you need.  God is always ready and willing to say, “Let’s start again.” He truly can make all things new. If I am here today sending this message, there is hope for you and your relationship. You can always reach out to us as well. We are here to help you stop surviving and start thriving.  

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All too often we come into marriage thinking that "our" way is the best way. Unfortunately, we don't spend enough time talking about how we want to raise our family and we end up with conflicting ideas that we only become aware of when things are going wrong. Disagreements over family quickly become wars- we understand, we've been there. Join us as we discuss how we overcame our wars over family and how I learned to make my spouse a priority, til death do us part.

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In this episode we talk about sex. No sugar-coating it, no embarrassment, just real-talk about the problems sex can cause when men think they don't get enough and when women feel used and disregarded. Too often relationships are broken because of a lack of intimacy. I believe we all generally want more intimacy and the majority of men definitely want more sex but are we willing to put in the work it takes to have the type of loving relationship where sex can be a topic of discussion instead of some taboo or embarrassing "thing"? Join us as we give some practical advice on how to work through the issues sex, or a lack thereof, can cause in a relationship.

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In marriage, even trying to talk about money can cause serious problems. For the greater part of our marriage money talk used to cause anxiety, anger, depression, and frustration amongst my wife and me. We hope in sharing our struggles that we can encourage someone to keep pushing forward. In this episode, we discuss how to talk about money, why it's important to have the discussion, and what good can come from working together as a team to go from surviving to thriving. Our budgeting journey hasn't been easy but now that we've started on the right path together, nothing can hold us back from achieving our dreams for the future of our family. It's going to take work, but it is possible.

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Struggling with anxiety can be a mentally exhausting chore; struggling with anxiety during the holidays can be a nightmare. Join us as we discuss how we've been able to overcome anxiety. It doesn't "look" the same for both of us but the symptoms are very similar. With the right help and with practice anxiety can be overcome. We don't have to simply accept it and live in fear of the next attack. The holidays can greatly amplify stress and fear which can cause an episode. Don't run from your feelings, acknowledge them, identify them, and overcome them. Let's not be overrun by our emotions; let's take control of our lives and direct our focus to connect with the source of our help, peace, and strength; let's lean in and connect with God.

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The holidays are the source of many arguments. With the year's end comes arguments over money, family, and time. Although we know what's coming and what the holiday brings, we still fall victim to the many pressures of trying to please others and meet standards that seem only to drift further away, the closer we get to achieve them. Join us as we discuss how to reset your perspective of the impossible standards and set our sights on what truly matters... love. Let's kick the stress, reset our mindset, refocus on what really matters, and love one another.

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A successful marriage is so much more than doing all the right things and having the perfect thing to say every time. It's also about what you do when things don't go right and how you'll respond when you don't have all the answers. In this episode, we discuss the need for support and how the greatest of change comes when we look to build our own character before trying to force our spouse to change. Being the change you hope to see will produce far greater results than we often stop to acknowledge. We aren't meant to struggle through this alone. Let us know what's been a help for you and also, who's helped you.

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In this episode, we discuss how you can achieve a successful marriage. The beginning step is to create a firm foundation. This can be achieved at any time, no matter where you find yourself in your relationship at this moment. It's also important to note that your happiness is not your partner's responsibility; you get to choose to be happy or not. Happiness is a consequence of making the right choices. If you aren't happy, it could be that it is because you are not making the correct choices. Join us as we discuss how to develop and strengthen our relationship from the ground up. Remember, we are always stronger with support- you are not alone.

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In this podcast, we discuss why we each feel like they work harder in trying to make the relationship work. We talk about the difference between a man's perspective and a woman's point of view. When women ask for something to be done, it generally means, "Do it now" whereas a guy might say, "Sure, I'll do it in a minute". The woman is probably thinking, "I asked you do it cause I need it done now." and the guy is thinking, "It doesn't really matter when it gets done, the point is that it will get done." Both contradict each other but each one is appropriate in their own way of thinking. Understanding each other's thought processes will help to show grace as we grow as individuals and as a couple. Don't forget to look for a place to connect and to get the support we all need. Do you have a home church? Or a couple that can mentor you through your struggles? Nothing changes if we don't. 

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In this episode, we discuss how I went from surviving to thriving. I wish I could tell you that with one quick tap of the magic wand all of your problems could be solved. Unfortunately, that just isn't the case; it takes work... a lot of work but be encouraged 'cause if we can do it, so can you. A lot goes into the transition from surviving to thriving and no one is meant to take this journey alone. Learn about what helped me get to where I am today. Finding a community to associate with is a large part of the "package" that helps lead anyone through this process. Having someone to mentor you is important; someone you can be open and honest with while receiving constructive criticism. This person can be a pastor, counselor, or a mature "someone" you look up to. Gathering with like-minded people who are further along the path you hope to walk will help you gain a positive sense of community that can influence you for good through friendship and learning from their life experiences. These are only a couple of positive steps you can take to go from surviving to thriving.

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It's our Thursday check-in; holding you accountable for the change you want to see in your life. How are you doing? How many times have you focused on the positive? How did you express yourself? We can make plans, which is great but rarely do things go exactly according to our plans. How we respond to life is always a choice and it's always up to us. You can either choose to focus on the problem or your purpose. What you give your time and attention to has a large effect on outcomes in your life. Choose to be positive, choose to seek purpose, and choose to love your family. Something I was recently reminded of came from my son while he was in the hospital. I asked him what he'd learned during his stay in the hospital and this was his response, "I learned to have a good attitude and to keep your faith."

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In this episode, we discuss the concept to let your "Mess" be your "Message". Too many times, we get frustrated that we don't have the life we think we should have. Let me tell you, you are not alone; life gets messy a lot of the time but that doesn't mean life is "bad" and it certainly doesn't mean life is meaningless. Let your focus be on the positive, even if it's just one thing at a time. Look for the lesson in everything, chances are, this trial holds a great blessing on the other side. You got this! In the middle of everything, God is still at work. Even though it doesn't feel good and even when you can't see your way out of your situation, God is making a way on your behalf. In the most difficult times, your spouse can be your greatest "cheerleader, support and help." Make the effort to come together to discuss how to handle tough times when things are calm so that when things get difficult you can lean on one another for support. Together, there is nothing you can't accomplish and overcome.

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In this week's Thursday check-in, we discuss how to take your relationship to another level; leaving both sides satisfied. Sex and intimacy are not the same things. A quote that has had a large impact on our relationship is this, "Husbands if you want your wife to please you inside the bed, be sure you please her outside the bed." Each one as husband or wife prefers to be loved in their own unique way. Most of the time, we love our spouse's in the way WE want to be loved. Take time to learn about what your spouse likes and take time to learn to love them the way THEY want to be loved. The pay off will be a closer, more loving, and intimate relationship. Sex is the most wonderful unifier in the relationship but if not treated with careful respect, it can become a chore and can even be harmful instead of enjoyable. Taking the time to know what is important for both husband and wife can help you to connect with each other and take you into a new level of depth and love for one another.

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In this episode we discuss this question, "I've decided to take the next step to forgive, now what?" It would be great if "good intentions" were enough. Let your words be backed by actions. Let's talk about what comes next and how putting action behind our words can bring about the change we've been searching for. When we hold a grudge on the inside, it affects us on the outside; we are short-tempered, ill-intentioned, and bitter. A healthy life is one where our inner health is intact which affects what comes out of us. Forgiveness brings the inner-healing and health we need to be a more loving, caring, and compassionate person. "The same day we plant the seed is not the same day we eat the fruit." There is a process to be lived out on the road to healing but it's worth it for you and your family.

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The pathway to healing is not always fun but what awaits on the other side is so worth it. No matter what role you played in the forgiveness process, there is a greater purpose and good can come from your story. Drug addiction, accusations, and victimhood affected my family and my upbringing in a negative way. Healing took years but it all started with a choice to want to be different and live a different kind of life. In this episode, a mother and father shared with their daughter about their point of view of the life they had while trying to raise two daughters amidst great personal struggle and trying to keep a marriage together. You don't have to be a victim of your past and you don't have to be a victim of your circumstances. Journey with us to stop just surviving and start thriving.

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Forgiveness provides a pathway to healing but we get nowhere if don't put it into action. How can we walk alongside you and help you along? Let us know, we'd love to hear from you. This is us, checkin' in with you to see how you're doing. When we lack forgiveness, we re-live these hurtful moments in our lives. Although it hurts to remember sometimes, the goal is to be able to talk about what happened without the situation, person, or people having emotional power over you. When you can talk about what happened without reliving all the emotions that come along with it, that is a sign of healing. Taking a personal inventory to recognize what happened or having someone you can talk to without judgment is very important. The life you desire for yourself and your family is available but you have to be willing to take the difficult steps to get there. You are worth it and your health is worth it. It's time to stop surviving and start thriving.

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Forgiveness can be a challenging step to take; however, when you take it the benefits you receive are not only for yourself but for your family. Come join the conversation between two sisters as they discuss what it takes to forgive their father. To this day there are issues to fight and overcome but you learn to manage it. Seeking validation can cause you to look for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. When you center yourself and realize you don't need acceptance from everyone because your source is God, it frees you from having to be under the burden of always feeling like you're not good enough. Putting the past behind can be painful but it is not as painful as staying stuck and never moving forward. Journey with us to stop surviving and start thriving.

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"To forgive" does not mean, "to forget". Creating a better version of "you" starts with being able to forgive yourself and others; it is the key to freeing yourself from continuously reliving the past. Also, to the one being forgiven, saying, "sorry" isn't the end of a bad situation and it doesn't "right" all the wrongs we've committed. After forgiveness comes the time to put your words into action. If you forgive someone, you should expect that person to do things differently and this will be an indication of true repentance. Change of action will prove that the person is truly sorry and wants to change. More than anything, even if the person that hurt you doesn't apologize, you should still forgive them for your sake; so that you can be free from developing a bitter or resentful heart. When you forgive them, you are not giving them a "pass" for hurting you. Forgiveness is really for YOU, not them.

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In this episode we discuss how being honest about where you've been on your journey can open new doors to healing. If you don't do something different nothing will change. We have to take an active role in changing how we respond to situations in life. In order to do that, we have to think differently. There is a process that should take place which is removing our old way of thinking by filling our minds with new information. In this discussion, we want to check in with you to see how you are doing and to let you know we are right here with you. Are you taking those steps to move in the right direction? Let us know how we can support you.

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In this episode, we discuss what it means to build up strongholds. Strongholds can be adopted, habits we've developed, or ways of thinking we've been taught. Strongholds are built by all of us as defense mechanisms to keep us safe from being hurt again. The downfall is that the strongholds also keep people "out". We don't allow anyone close enough to love or have deep long-lasting relationships for fear of being hurt. In my case, pornography had been in my life for twenty years and it was damaging me in ways I wasn't aware of. What has harmed you in your life? Whatever it is, It very well could be that the walls you've built are also keeping you from living the life you desire for yourself and your family. Join us to discuss how we can move forward in a healthy way to stop surviving and start thriving.