Love, Death, and everything in between.: Recent Episodes
C. Brianne Myers
This is a podcast that keeps it real, is okay with getting a little cringy, helps connect with others on topics and issues that impact all of us.
Pay attention to those feelings, those times where things just hit you and you don’t know why.
Doing episodes with Coy are always so fun and I love how we have these memories together, these conversations.
It’s wild to me to look back on 3yrs and being where I am now. Time moves at the craziest rate!
This is a topic I feel so strongly on and I know I’ve talked about bits of this before, but I truly feel like it’s something we need to be having more open conversations about.
I love all the episodes I do with Coy! He’s one of my favorite humans in this world and I love his little heart.
This episode, definitely tested me and no matter what, I’m proud of myself for getting it up and doing the damn thing!
It's always so wild to me how the more in tune with myself, the more I can truly stay in control of my thoughts and actions and sometimes it's still not easy to take a step back and look at things, but I have worked so hard too build that muscle memory, and to feel it really getting stronger, its amazing feeling.
Listen to yourself, be curious!
"Make choices that your future self will thank you for."
This sounds like such a simple thing, but it really is huge and I think is something we need to keep in the front part of our brains when were making choices, especially ones that aren't easy.
I really do believe that so much beaches off of gratitude and it's such a simple thing, but I definitely feel like it gets overlooked.. unless were in the month of November and everyone loves jumping on that wagon for the month.
I have been struggling with writing in my gratitude journal since my Dad died and doing this, I feel like is helping get me back on track.
Baby steps.
Why don't we share our worst days more? I don't think people realize how important it is to share the worst days, to feel those days, to use those days to grow and there are definitely times when you don't care about growth, you just want the hurt to stop, I have been there and those are times it does take a significantly longer amount of time to see and feel the growth... the incredible thing is, even though during that time when you just feel like a train wreck, you're doing some pretty massive growth.
Today's episode is sharing a little bit of the parts of life that
I need to remember, working on remembering the things I need to focus on.
I think it’s so important to be able to feel comfortable talking about topics that don’t have to be considered taboo. It’s so huge to have open conversations and it helps you understand more about your own wants and needs.
I feel like this episode touches on a lot of areas of my thoughts and a little bit of an inside view to what I'm feeling right now in my life.
I'm living my life in a way, that if I didn't wake up tomorrow, I would feel good about, doing everything in my power to make sure my actions and words match. For far too long I tried to fit in a box, a box that wasn't made for me, wasn't made for anyone to fit in, in all reality.
I think there are so many factors that play into why we have the self esteem that we do. We need to be aware of the words we use and the words we let in, having the words to express when we need support.
There are so many great quotes about words that I found as I was looking up different things in preparing for this episode and I could have saved a billion of them. In thinking about all these quotes and the episode and how words have impacted my world.
On a positive note- Being called Mom, that's been one of the most amazing words that's been said to me and I'm grateful to be his Mom, best thing that ever happened to me.
I loved doing this episode with him, it's fun to see how he's grown from just doing to the videos with me.
I love that little ginger so much
.
I enjoyed recording this episode a lot.
It's been a really beautiful journey in learning and understanding more about me, why I am how I am, what I need to work on and communicating things when it feels tricky.
Learning to sit in uncomfortable situations and having them help me grow as a person vs defeat me, that's had quite a learning curve.
I'm working on truly believing I'm worthy of love, communication, respect, intimacy, but I will say this is the closest I've ever been to being the best version of me that I've ever been and that feels really good and I'm proud of myself, because I could have given up, but I keep flexing and growing because I choose ME and in doing that I'm able to show up in better ways for myself and those around me.
It's a weird feeling to feel lighter, lighter in the way of my soul, my soul feels lighter lately. I don't think I realized how taxing it was on me to be in survival mode all the time. I think a lot in visual representations in my head and I see things like; say you're in 4wheel drive and then you get onto the pavement and your still in 4wheel and your vehicle isn't happy about it and all you need to do is pull over take it out of 4wheel drive and backup a bit and then keep going forward.
So many times we feel like we've failed because we had to stop and go back a little and then keep on going.. the fact that we're still going, that's amazing. Life is pretty amazing and I feel a whole lot of gratitude for it. I keep waking up and that's pretty phenomenal.
With the holiday just around the corner we seriously need to pay attention to our bodies, our thoughts, our actions and in all reality we need to be doing this all the time.
I think its even more important during these times because the expectation that's pushed is a lot of perfection and we don't
need that, we need grace.
I don't think I truly understood how much the body really doesn't know the difference on how we use our words and the things we say and do, not until the other day.
Being dishonest ends up hurting the person telling the lie in the most insane ways, ways that absolutely soul sucking.
Sometimes I think we forget how important it is to get uncomfortable, have those conversations , say your peace/pain.
The best growth I've ever experienced started from a place of discomfort and I made a choice to learn and grow or let that discomfort dictate my future in a way that didn't promote growth.
I will keep choosing discomfort and growth!
Having the realization that I don't have to live in survival mode anymore. That the person I had to become, to make it through some of the most intense situations. Because of the person I was, it helped me to create roots with people, you create security and safety and unconditional, no strings attached, they chose you to be in their life and you feel it and its so beautiful and terrifying because in having this realization... you realize this means that little version of me, the teen version, the 20's and 30's version of me, the state of survival mode all of these other ages of survival mode I have lived in.. that's not me, I don't need to live in that state anymore.
I think it's so important to see the things that aren't so great in ourselves and our kids and work on them. Because why wouldn't you want things to be better, create healthier humans and that helps your personal ripple effect.
I had really wanted to save this one for the week of Halloween, but with how I've been feeling and so I decided to do what I want and I wanted to have this in my episode this week.
I love listening to this story that I have heard my whole life and I love that I have this recording of one of my favorite stories I grew up hearing.
I hope y'all enjoy!
It takes a level of bravery to show the parts of us that aren't very appealing. To have the courage to be judged, to be viewed through real time glasses vs rose colored ones.
I am willing to have the hard conversations, to be able to have a relationship with the boys that they feel comfortable enough to call me out, to check me and do it in a way that feels safe for all of us.
I will keep fighting to break cycles, I will own my ugly, I will apologize when I mess up. I want more and I'm willing to do the work to get it.
I never thought I would be so intrigued by death topics and I think it comes back to me being curious. I want to understand why I feel how I do, how others feel. I truly find it so interesting and so y'all should definitely check out the book- The in-between By Hadley Vlahos
The different roles that just happen between men and women and how they impact our day to day lives and for the most part no one talks about it or works on making it better.
This is definitely a cycle I want to break and normalize talking about how this impacts so many of us.
I keep reminding myself I woke up, its going to be okay, it is okay and maybe that's a bunch of bullshit to others, but I'm picking my hard and it's going to be the hard with an optimistic outlook because sometimes that's all we can control.
Today's episode is really real, I touch base on a topic I haven't really ever shared about, but I feel is important. We have to work on being our own advocate, understanding/attempting to understand what's triggering us.
A little more into me, what helps me, my thoughts on plant based medicine and what it cane do for people.
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We need to keep communication open, even when it's hard! I think sometimes we really need people to help check us, pull us back into reality and if we aren't talking, that can't happen.
What are you going to feel about
your day; if tonight was your last night and the day was your last day?
We have to choose what hard we want, life is hard and it's always going to be that way.. you choose what you want, what you're going to fight for
5th time is a charm, haha, oh this episode, but I think I found a better way of recording and so it's an absolute win in my book.
Have a wonderful week, y'all!
Someday your kids are going to figure you out. I promise you they will.
The type of parent you are.
The type of spouse you are.
How you treat other people.
How much effort you put into them.
You're either going to be someone they look up to, or someone they never wanna be like.
Always remember they are watching and absorbing.
This was sent to me and I LOVED it! Just the other day, I threw an absolute pity party, I was rude and careless with my words..
I went and showered and thought about how I acted and it wasn't okay. I went in and talked to Coy and told him I was sorry and I shouldn't have said what I did and I'm having a hard time and working through a lot and I didn't handle things how I should have. He said he understood and was sorry things are hard right now and I told him we would get through it and it's going to be okay.
Being a parent is hard, but you try, do your best, it's not going to be perfect and that's because not a one of us is. Were all going to cause our kid to have therapy days, but our goal should be to have less therapy days, the realization you're going to mess up, it's high and you own it and move on, don't dwell on it and keep shooting for minimal therapy because of you, haha
I think when you experience certain things, it changes you and sometimes these changes are for the good and sometimes they aren't
and sometimes even the good changes are perceived as bad because those good changes are creating
boundaries in areas that have needed them for a very long time.
"When a close friend unexpectedly leaves us, a piece of our heart is forever broken."
"The loss of a friend is that of a limb; time may heal the anguish of the wound, but the loss cannot be repaired." - Robert Southey
I miss my best friend.
I miss my Dad.
Grief is a son of a bitch.
Editing this was hard, but as soon as I was done I sat back and took a deep breath and I felt a little bit of pressure come off me.
This was a hard episode to do, a large part of me really didn't want to record an episode this week, but I'm glad I did. We need outlets, we need places we can talk, we need to keep having hard conversations, pushing ourselves. I won't give up on trying to normalize death, helping people process their grief.
Are you feeding or weeding negativity?
What type of ripple are you putting out to the world?
These are questions I think we really need to think about on a regular basis, because it's so easy to get wrapped up things.
The truth always comes out, you may not be aware that the lie has been discovered, but people do know, you perpetually lie and make that your habit and before you know it, its been a lifetime of these little lies here, maybe a bigger lie there, some little white lies here and there and a few more here and fibs, stretching the truth; and bottom line, A lie is lie and it will always be wrong. Be true to you, make sure your inside sun is shinning brightly.
The Whole30 is a hard reset for your body and I truly feel like it's an absolute hard reset for everything. I truly am grateful for finding this way of eating and in all reality it's not as hard as you think, as long as your prepared.
By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. - Benjamin Franklin
If you have any questions about the Whole30, I am also going to post our dinners for this month = )
This is probably one of my favorite episodes I've ever done, for so many reasons and so I'm going to list them.
- Coy is my baby, well, not so little baby anymore
- I love his honesty and the way he says things, his views
- Part of why this is pretty unscripted, keeps it real and having an episode with a 9yr old, all the way to electric avenue ;)
This is such a milestone for Coy and I am so proud of him and how far he's came. I know I'm partial, because he's mine but he's got such a great little heart and I am so grateful to have him, to be his Mom.
Coy says if anyone has anyone questions for him, send them in and he will answer them.
Thank you for all the love and support.
I think it's so easy to get wrapped up in the negative talk of ex's and focus on all the bad... but what if we treated them, the situation the same way we did at the beginning of the relationship
Some food for thought.
I encourage each and everyone of you to work on taking steps in sharing, sharing when you feel like you're hanging by a thread, that things are hard.
It helps normalize so much and helps give the people in our lives to help, to show up and I feel that truly goes full circle in a lot of ways.
I would love to hear any of your thoughts and feelings on this, or hear about any experiences that you've
had. I will update y'all next week on how Wednesday goes.
Hitting rock bottom, having someone so important in my life, play God with my life, it taught me things I couldn't have even imagined I would learn; but in the same breath it helped me figure out who I was, what I needed/wanted.
What are roles in your home?
Do the roles in your home mimic the roles you had growing up?
These are topics I feel like we need talk about more, express what our needs and wants are from people were married to, dating, cohabitating, whatever type of relationship you're in.
This episode was a fun one to process through, think about what I wanted to say, try and understand how all of these feelings feel and figuring out how to grow from them, feel each emotion and move through them.
It's amazing how much calmer you feel when things click, when you do the work.
I think it's so important to look inward, figure out what your truths are, how you want to show up for others, how you would like them to help you grow, how they can show up better to help you grow.
I was feeling all the feels and maybe a bit overwhelmed and instead of letting the "nothing" keep going, I decided to talk.
I truly feel like I had my own personal "Come to Jesus" while I was away. I truly feel like it re centered me in a way that I didn't even realize I needed.
Since coming back it's like the universe keeps giving me all these reminders and I'm definitely listening and paying attention and maybe these signs have been here all along and I just wasn't ready to see them.
Some of these moments have been extremely hard to see, to realize, to even begin processing. When you start to take a step back and the picture just keeps getting clearer and clearer.
I never thought I would be sharing this, but I can't and I don't want to keep this part of my life in the dark, it needs light and I want to help shed some light on topics that need to be talked about. That we're all going through things, that we all face things in life that we never thought we would.
This is me, this is part of my story, what got me to this place.
Find ways to show the people you love that you love them EVERYDAY, not just on a day that society says.
It's so important to create healthy habits with your signifiant other, goin on dates, trips, doing things without your kids. It teaches them so much and becomes such a healthy ripple for you kids and others to see and have as examples.
What types of coping mechanisms do you use? The good ones, the not so good ones, the bad ones...
Learning how to come up with new ones, or tweak ones we already have, this is so important for us to be able to look at and learn really what works for us and why.
It's okay to not have the answers, to not know why it's so much harder, find grace for yourself and know you aren't alone.
So many times in life it's easier to bury our heads in the sand, turn the other way; But in all reality, this is such a huge disservice to others, to ourselves, it creates a lot of negative habits. Lets work to create better habits, ones that were proud of.
This episode is a little different, its not perfect, but that's okay. As Coy and I recorded this, he would get a little nervous and forget what to say and I just kept smiling at him and in between segments; I reminded him that it's okay and he's doing wonderful.
Things in life are hard enough, we don't need to add to it, we help and encourage and remind them its okay to go slower, to need a minute, have that grace, help them have grace for others.
I can't wait to do another with him, for him to feel more confident in sharing his thoughts and feelings.
PTSD, impacts so many peoples lives, in so many different ways. It's so important to know you're not alone and everyone is going through different situations and because we all have different backgrounds, we create a different response.
With us just having Christmas I have thought a lot about the things I want and how the thing I want, you can't buy at a store.
I hope y'all have a wonderful Christmas, make memories, let the people you love know what they mean to you and how much you love them.
Welcome to my podcast and this episode is just a little back story to what got me to this point, and why I created this podcast.