Jamie’s Glee Club: Recent Episodes
Jamie’s Glee Club - Beams.fm
Jamie provides a weekly dose of uplifting original songs with a sucker punch.
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I hope that when you're wearing socks and boots that the sock slides down the back of your shoes and get stuck in your arch and you can adjust it cause you're driving long distance, there's no exit. And I hope that when you go to the donut shop and you ask for chocolate with sprinkles on top of those, all they have is jelly and your piste, you hate jelly. And I hope that when you park for just five minutes to get another parking ticket and I hope your mom disowned your grass and you can't even get it back from your dad. Your behavior is so atrocious that I hope you catch a mild strain of covid. It takes a lot to make me be mean. But I hope you get a curable STD because you suck because you suck, you fucking suck because you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck.
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My listeners, Kelsey requested a song about eating the rich. So this is that song, The Rich make quite a tasty dish topped them with a cherry column billionaire split or soak them in spices till their perfumed, let cool before consumed. If you prefer a late night snack, musk and Bezos pair best with their unpaid taxes, perhaps you'd rather just devour them raw. They taste bitter and sour. Let's eat the rich. Let's eat the rich and expensive dish that tastes like shit. Let's eat the rich. Let's eat the rich and expensive dish that tastes like ship. Let's eat the rich. Let's eat the rich and expensive dish that tastes like ship. Let's eat the rich. Let's eat the rich and expensive dish that tastes like shit.
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Hi, it's me, Jamie. Um so one of my listeners suggested that I write a song about crying on the C. T. A, which is an experience. I'm all too familiar with. Their name is kimbo. Thank you kimbo. I I'm not sure I am saying kimbo correctly. Um but they are really awesome. They've come to my shows have been super supportive of me online and in real life at shows. So thank you for the suggestion. Um here's what I came up with. Um also note to my listeners, I am not a UKulele player, I am a singer. So thank you um for your patients, if you've never cried on the C. T. A. Do you live in Chicago anyway, if you've never cried on the C. T. A. Do you live in Chicago? Anyway, I'm not feeling very slay today. I'm not okay. I'm not okay. It's more of a blase today because these feelings never seem to go away. So if you've never cried on the C. T. A. Do you live in Chicago anyway, if you've never cried on the C. T. A. You don't live in Chicago anyway,
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this past summer, I was hanging out at the laugh factory after a show, Me and some friends were bullshitting, you know, having a little bit of a laugh when somebody turns to me and says, hey Jamie, have you ever tried to write a country comedy song? And then this, this is what I sang game. Come and get your butt hole eight. If you come in, you are straight. And they all started singing down and say come and get your butt hole eight, if you're coming, you are straight is what your day, now get down, usa come and get your butt hole eight, if you come in, you are straight, guess what? You're gay, now, get down you and say come and get your butt hole eight. If you come in, you are straight, guess what? You're gay now. I would just like to say a quick thank you to Angelea at the laugh factory. Um when I randomly started singing this song last summer for fun Z's, she improvised some of the harmonies that you now here. Thanks Angelea.
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you just moved in together. Now the love is gone. You're not wanting to have a baby or murder him. You should probably break up, but you think you'd be wrong? Well you can do this instead, adopt a dog to fill the void in your relationship, adopted dog, ignore the issues that you can't a stress adopt a dog, continue never having any sex, adopted dog adopt a dog. This dog needs you. Like you and your boyfriend need to break up. This dog loves you like he doesn't love you anymore. This dog licks your hand away. Your boyfriend should be kissing your ad dass, he should be kissing your ass adopted dog and stay together for like 12 more years adopted dog. Okay like to if it's a senior dog, adopted dog although one dog lived for like 30 years adopt dog, adopted dog. Now I know you may be thinking dogs can't solve my problems. Dogs like their own butthole dogs cannot make me hopeful um Wrong. Of course they can. 123 adopted dog and run away into the sunset, adopt a dog. You two are better off without adopt a dog. You can also do this with like 13 cats, adopted dog, adopted dog, adopt a dog.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, come on while y'all sit at home like total slobs. I'm out here working five jobs, walking dogs driving uber and doordash, doing all that I can to secure the cash, putting kids in buying groceries to pay for my iced coffees. I'm grinding and working nonstop. So what have I got to show for it? Bad knees bad back And my credit is whack bad knees bad back and my credit is whacked bad knees bad back and my credit is whack. My credit is whack, my credit is whack bad knees bad back and my credit is whacked bad knees bad back and my credit is whacked, bad knees bad back and my credit is whack, my credit is whack, my credit is whack.
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I'm gonna write a song that will make you smile and be the best damn thing you've heard in a while but I got nothing. So my mom says I should do a workout or two because endorphins might just change my point of view but time I'm not gonna do that. So I lie there staring at my ceiling again, thinking wow, what a silly movie we're in. But this, it would not be a very good movie. I mean think of the past two years of our lives being told that we would only go in the house for two weeks and then surprise it's four months and then a bunch of us kind of start going back outside again, you know, masked and quote unquote safe but we know it's not really safe. We're willing to risk it all for a white cloth and some shitty dick. But we're told if we get vaccinated, this will all be over. But only some people get vaccinated. So it sort of feels like when you do your part of the group project but the other three people assigned to your group didn't do their part of the group project and you can't stand up and say, hey would you guys just do your part of the freaking project because then you look like a huge nerd so you just put your mask on and then take it off, then put your mask on, then take it off, then put your mask on, then take it out. Who would want to watch this for two hours. Thanks
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