Schlock Doctrine: Recent Episodes
Schlock Doctrine
Two bohemian layabouts trifling through the Great Pop Culture Garbage Bin for critical and commercial failures. Is one man's trash truly another man's treasure?
Today we're preaching the gospel of Martin Scorsese's controversial 1988 flick, The Last Temptation of Christ. Not just another dime-a-dozen morality tale, Last Temptation takes some liberties with the Lord that's offended the Catholic church, some Evangelist preachers, and a particularly feisty group of Parisians.
We're defending Judas, talking stories that didn't make the Bible's directors cut, offering some minor critiques for the Catholic church, and basking in Willem Defoe's light.
In preparation for Sam Raimi's upcoming return to the Marvel rollercoaster, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, we hit an early flick of his, 1985's Crimewave. A near-forgotten movie that could've murdered Raimi's career, as well as several innocent bystanders, we ask if the movie squanders it's all-star team, or if it's another studio exec hatchet job?
Come ride the wave with us.
We're back, and classing up the place with a little conversation about the weirder side of the artworld. Good Friend Paige joins us to talk about some works whose creation would lead to a nice asylum stay for us non-artist types. Is Marina Abramović really classier than Steve-O? Are Gamer Girls selling their bath water unheralded artists? Come find out.
We're striking out for the frontier this week with 2011's Cowboys and Aliens! Featuring an absolutely stacked cast and a massive budget, did the film reach the stars or crash and burn like a certain ship in Roswell?
Also this week: we review the new Mountain Dew Hard Seltzer and analyze Paul Dano's moisture levels.
You ever watch a movie that makes you yearn for a bolt-stunner to the dome? Want to be put out to pasture like a fattened cow? We have, and we're dragging you down with us. We're talking the newest addition to the Leatherface franchise, Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
We also try to get into the simple minds of Hollywood execs and pitch some possible horror villains of our own.
This week we're tackling 2011's "historical" "drama", Anonymous. Does this Shakespeare hit piece succeed in sinking the Bard? Or have we finally found a conspiracy theory that is even too silly for your smooth-brained hosts?
We're also talking the Super Bowl, Scottish Independence, and a piece of Irish sports history that totally, actually happened and wasn't made up on the spot.
Check it out, or tomorrow you shall be found a grave man.
The American Dream is alive & well in the Sunshine State! This week we're talking Michael Bay's HGH-fueled romp, 2013's Pain & Gain! Get a pump on as we dissect Michael Bay, corporate pandering, and why Nick will be getting replaced in future episodes (kidding)(maybe).
Here it is, folks! The most anticipated event of the year and the most prestigious award show on this side of the Mississippi- the first annual Schlock Doctorate awards! We're talking the best and brightest that 2021 had to offer! From best movie to most cringe-inducing moment of the year, we've got a Doctorate for everyone! Put on your fanciest clothes, pour a glass of champaign, and jump in to see if your favorite walked away a winner!
We spoil practically every movie from 2021 to some degree, so just watch out for that.
This week, we're doing our best to recap some watershed moments of 2021. Maybe some of these happened in 2020, maybe some of them haven't actually occurred yet at all. Who can tell anymore.
Anyway, we're talking the nature of celebrity, talentless hacks, sexual deviants, the blight of the paparazzi, the future of Cinema, and an inspirational Hollywood couple.
We're shaking off the holiday rust with one of 2021's biggest disasters- Chaos Walking. Starring two of Disney's poster children and featuring a cornucopia of YA Dystopia clichés, the movie offers very little outside of a potential blue print for a future life sans woman. The boys unveil plans to turn Wyoming into the bro capital of the USA, talk Tom Holland's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time on set, and wax nostalgic about books from our youth.
We're back to wrap-up our 2021 Jack-Off Special with 1998's Jack Frost! Starring pod-favorite Michael Keaton and backed by a substantial budget, will it best it's '97 counterpart? We also give Santa Claus our lost-media wish list and discuss the (non)ideology of the flick.
Happy holidays (Christmas, Hanukkiah, Festivus) to everyone except McDonalds and the Warner Brothers Corporation!
Welcome to the first Schlock Doctrine Jack Off Special! Starting us off is 1997 cult holiday horror flick, Jack Frost! In this one the boys ruminate on the nature of the soul, how to best live life as sentient snowman, and pitch some potential spin-offs.
Ho ho holy shit, we're kicking off the holidays with a real dud. From the man who brought you Airplane and the Naked Gun comes a star-studded comedy of your weird conservative uncle's dreams, An American Carol. Join us as we probe the depths of the Republican psyche, circa 2008, and bear witness to a truly unique take on Dicken's classic A Christmas Carol. Grab yourself some freedom fries & a six pack of Bud and dive in.
What happens when you take 3 headstrong perfectionists and drop them in the middle of the Sahara Desert? 1987's much maligned Ishtar! Does this movie deserve it's notorious reputation or is it a victim of a mass government/film industry conspiracy? Jump on your finest blind camel and dive in with us.
Today we're talking an infamous bomb that destroyed the career of an Academy Award winning director and potentially tore apart a beloved Hollywood power couple. We also serve up a brief rundown of Big Ben's time in Hollywood and sing the praises of niche wikis.
Dadaist deconstruction of 90's film trends or confused rom-com gone awry? Jump into Gigli and find out.
Imagine, if you will, the city of Miami in the 80's. Beautiful people enjoying long days on the beach and longer nights in the club, showing off their gorgeously tanned skin. Synthpop serves as a constant soundtrack to their adventures, underlining everything with a steady pulse. The cocaine flows as freely as the ocean.
Now picture the exact opposite and you have Michael Mann's 2006 Miami Vice, a reimaging of the classic 80's TV show. Travel with us through both Miami and the Caribbean as we discuss Mann's auteur stylings, Jamie Foxx's prima donna status, and Collin Farrell's love of minty beverages.
The Schlock Doctrine makes it triumphant debut talking the underrated 1988 remake, The Blob! Come get the goop.
This bad boy was recorded in early 2021, so some cultural references may be outdated. Just roll with it.