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'Things You Fill' for $500, Alex.

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Before (and during) and after.

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Welcome to the Farmily.

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Park AND (!) Amphitheatre.

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Shocking, to say the least.

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Make the climb to the coaches' booth at InfoCision Stadium.

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Filmed by the blind, for the blind (and everybody else).

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Counter culture since 1869.

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You get your shot to be friends with the crows!

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Taste test!

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Also know as sialorrhea, which is exactly why one just calls it excessive drooling.

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You can look, but you can't touch.

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Snake's toil or snake oil?

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A table test for syncope.

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Courtship and betrothal.

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The club franchise?

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Biohacker Bryan Johnson and his girlfriend, Kate.

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And one in the studio?

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The Home of Tabletop Gaming™.

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Don't have to imagine that.

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Tag! You're lit!

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Think of you! Think of you fondly.

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Well, for the forehead anyway.

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Because you have everything I've been searching for.

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EITM interviews The Temper Trap

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Internal Revenue's lack of service.

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Good Samaritan not Samari-tandem.

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Recapping Friday's evening out at Fallen Oak Distilling with Brian Curry and Victor Oriza.

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When the pyro goes Nutzy.

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Are you crying uncle over insect ingestion?

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Your mommy won't save you.

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What not to do when selling a home.

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Previewing Friday's evening out at Fallen Oak Distilling.

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It's a lawsuit.

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Union Pacific 4014's coast-to-coast tour ends next week.

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San Antonio, Florida and Honduras.

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'The Washington Post' writer on his latest piece, "An Ohio woman took in two strangers. Then she saw their ‘wanted’ photos."

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Are we out on Panera?

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Or woman!

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Wonder if movers still plunder?

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Saturday Night's Main Event, too.

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What to do if someone's doggin' you.

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Tab? I can't give you a tab unless you order something.

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Plus OnePlus!

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paradiseearth.com

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Integrative intelligence that is..

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Literally no one:

EITM listeners: 100 billion beers!

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Red Room Blue Curacao

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Can I get an "UNDER AGE" sign rider?

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A cyclosporiasis AMA.

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With FanDuel!

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From couch potato to get-up-and-go.

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Florida...child?

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Rats get bat...ted balls.

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MDGAF

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ridepatride.org

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The five best athletes from all fifty states.

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Patient and visitor exformation.

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Can't pronounce migraine without 'eye.'

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Baristas and bombs.

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Ta-da!

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EITM interviews Alex Tuch

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Redundant acronym syndrome for one.

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Our inflatables?

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Ranked.

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Regrets only?

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In the year two thousand...forty-six.

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Pizzaiolo.

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But you can't POOP ON THEM!?!

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Transportation and malformation.

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Having not won any game since Sarah left, Elliot looks for redemption.

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Are we embracing the science?

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Caps fan Kathy's attempt to break a second world record with EITM.

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...HOW LONG?!

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But I would walk and I would walk just to be the man who walked.

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Tracking stolen devices.

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The Lifestyle's new couples.

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And the wedding reception!

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(Sounds better than working interview.)

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Long about a weekday morning?

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With a quick flashback to Take Your Child To Work Day!

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Bar none.

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Are the na's and boo's hyphenated?

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(The Penal Code Auto Song)

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This explains so many trail names.

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WORLD CUP ̶O̶R̶ BUST

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EITM interviews Brad Meltzer

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"Anonymous" may be listener of the day.

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...is not just a song by Kacey Musgraves.

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Pissing in the swim.

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It's work, spouse!

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0...#0....0#...0....#......0

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Is it Caps fan Kathy Graninger?

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Must eat faster?

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Transferring from your stomach or bowels to your new school.

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EITM interviews Young The Giant

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900 miles. 4 months. 1 coast.

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I'm John Laurens in the place to be

A-two pints of Sam Adams, but I'm workin' on three

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Marrying your ex-lover's sibling.

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The University of Maryland professor and associate chair of Cell Biology & Molecular Genetics called back!

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And don't know it?

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After while, crocodile!

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Senile isn't just a river activity in Egypt.

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The unregulated donor market.

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Pope Leo XIV, Erin M Barlow, and everyone else.

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What have we boycotted? And are we still??

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Peritonsillar abscess, anyone?

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I am a golden fraud?

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Blinded by the dark.

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Blowing up the phone.

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Your say in court.

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Rebuild, reuse, and Reckless Ben.

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What's your Sky Zone?

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"He don't got tags on that, that's illegal!"

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Trips regretted.

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Dropped like a mashed potato?

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Solo sex education. Avian-style!

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No, it's June!

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WHACK

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To everybody?

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...but sometimes the wrong place, too.

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Your Scripps National Spelling Bee Fantasy Draft winners...

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With surprise appearances from celebrity chef Steve Mannino and the kid who ding-dong ditched Tyler!

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Why did they?

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Meet the picks!

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Is the human resources department facing termination?

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Tell your dog I said my, oh my!

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Kids In Satan's Service?!

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Lost and found out?

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We took this trip to Garden Grove...

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Figuring! Figuring out what to do!!

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And Diane thought hers was historic!

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ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ?

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EITM interviews Derrick Stroup

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Amish intelligence?

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Dine with confidence.

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I'm not melting?!?

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5, 4, ZzZzZ...

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Entertainment for men...tioning at sign-on!

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It's fantastic?

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Track and feel.

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But you don't need help seeing anything!

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WARNING: Cat on keyboard!

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Inflammatory bowel disease and play.

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The former Washington Capitals defenseman on Swing Into Summer, his charity's signature annual event, and the 2026 Stanley Cup Playoffs.

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Sorry, animal communicator.

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No pick from Elliot this year, but it does end with him wanting thanks.

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The past is in the past?

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Under the toenail!

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The stickers are new, but the problems are olds.

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Parents, children, and more.

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Terminated tastes.

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bit.ly/eitmsticker

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Don't rush to 'Tok?!

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How far (literally and figuratively) did it go!?

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You are now pronounced mannerless?

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A stripper!

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This Saturday marks the start of National Stuttering Awareness Week 2026. westutter.org

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But what about electronic toll collection?

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Soon-to-be!

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Pop (culture) quiz!

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This summer, the former TODAY Show medical correspondent will ascend Mount Kilimanjaro at 90 years old.

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Who will be "denied" in today's little game?

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subliminal

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Where naturism's not the only thing in full swing.

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On May 2, 2026, the airline started an "orderly wind-down" of all its operations.

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Live from Churchill Downs, it's Zach Roth!

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Elazar Sontag, Emily Heil, and Joan The Moan.

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Evermore?

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One man banned.

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😍😍

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Yeah, can you say, "city bird?"

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Is somehow something Elliot didn't say during this segment.

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What's the frequency, Toshi?

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The skin is back.

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The two-hour barrier is shattered at the London Marathon while a challenge is accepted locally.

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Done that?

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The definitive rankings.

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Remember when Elliot rang Rod and Elvis, but want to forget about the call to Dustin? About that...

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The last ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶a̶l̶ ̶s̶t̶o̶p̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ tour.

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Revisiting freebirth and wild pregnancy.

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Alongside The Rod Ryan Show plus Elvis Duran and the Morning Show!

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As in "psychic;" not to be confused with Psychic Friends Network celebrity endorser, the 'ick, Dionne Warwick.

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Don't tell tales out of pool?

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Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me!

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Everything you said.

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Urinating on a grave is an expression...of contempt.

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Is Tyler stepping away?

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What is your intent, Mom?

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Josh is in Vegas and Diane is into "Laguna Beach."

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A record-setting grandpa.

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Soft and (then) hard.

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Debuffs IRL.

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'Ella, 'ella, ayy, ayy, ayy!

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Hitch BALLS!

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Have you been a bad, bad dog?

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"Got a great deal on the new house!"

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And in a 2000s kind of world, I'm glad I got my vaccine?

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chrisullman.com

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Tell a friend.

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All the world's a stage?

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The NASA astrophysicist talks Artemis, the Moon, and more.

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Here comes a new challenger!

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Ready to make it official?

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...to face death.

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Oops.

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The honorary farter makes his pick.

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Get results with me!

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The Berlin draw.

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Sorry, penny pinchin'.

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There's at a hospital and then there's not.

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College!

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What's the Mrs. new last name?

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Weekday reading retreat.

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...domain.

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Let's see what the police have to say about this...

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That's why!

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Finally.

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It's back? No, just the front.

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Hare-debrained.

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Dear Annie...

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(It's not a word...yet.)

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Unhappy campers.

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Spring BREAK!!

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Ozempic a side.

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Stories, go!

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Cameohhhh!!!

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Ok, byeeee..

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The most.

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What goes around comes...back?

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The actual third ring of marriage.

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And/or walk!

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"Who do you want me to sign this as? Me or her?"

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A fail and a foster.

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They don't call her Sar-boretum for nothin'!

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Florida woman.

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"Two weird things in the building today."

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Elliot In The Morning returns Monday, March 23.

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Turning temporary organs into mystery meat.

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Well, really, eight. But that's only because every trip winner gets to bring a guest and hello? Hello? Oh, please be there. Please be there!

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The Labia is the 'oldest independent art-repertory cinema in South Africa'...and the word for something else.

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Loading a night of illusions?

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(Lucky number) 7.

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Red-flanked bluetail, anyone?

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A slip 'twixt the cup and the...lips.

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...mate.

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The Washington Capitals play-by-play announcer talks John Carlson, Nic Dowd, and more.

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The most.

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From the bedroom to the operating room.

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Hello, Chesapeake!

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Told ya it was a major announcement.

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(Used to be.)

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EITM interviews Eric Hutchinson

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No more happy tears?

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"I had a brush with fame and a conspiracy theory ..."

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Just give me a hiss.

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WWE Chicago-style.

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A how-to.

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Before you leave my a**hole forever, please reveal to us: are you graceful or a farrrter?!

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Why is Bears hockey announcer Jarrod Wronski out in Hershey?

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Laila’s Gift founder and originator of the LEAD (Laila’s Elopement Awareness and Dissemination) Act.

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Third day's a charm?

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And sisters!

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Your place? Or mine?

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For science!

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The PWCS swimmer just won her fifth and sixth individual state titles to go along with setting a national record.

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Hold on to your potatoes!

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What's it quacked up to be?

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Day 1.

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Yes, ragrets.

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USA-Canada gold medal hockey final, Closing Ceremony, and more.

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TMI...Ts.

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TMI!

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TMI?

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Friends of AI.

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𝓒

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Taste test!

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Sorry, Alysa Liu and her upper lip.

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Baby, maybe?

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'Hi, this is Bennett Zier...'

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Fat Tuesday in a heated vest!

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Happy birthday, phones are down.

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EITM interviews Brad Meltzer

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Justin!

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Flipping off and flipping out.

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Expecting a judgment here.

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Kathryn's "Strange Addiction."

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EITM interviews Karl Alzner

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Hope Pam gets mail.

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Let the good times...Pole.

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Actress Mara Klein started out on DMV stages and ended up on "The Pitt."

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Glossary of early twentieth century United States.

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flatus.info

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A brain game.

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Again.

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The update.

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Oh, ice!

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Your 3-time World Marathon Challenge champion and new 50K record holder recaps his week then looks ahead.

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Like murderers and ghosts and what-now on your skin?!

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A budding comedy.

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Can you see...PAP?

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The only thing missing was a pava. Oh, and proficiency.

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Poet L̷a̷u̷r̷e̷a̷t̷e̷ Elliot.

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The series that defined the decades.

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What's the deal with strip clubs, Rob Stallworth?

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Open container laws and marijuana.

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The Arlington-based ultra runner checks in during the 50K World Marathon Challenge. Literally.

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Equals transplants and fillers.

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...to get smacked?!

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(For me.)

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Get in the loop!

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Walking from Fort Worth, TX to raise awareness of inner peace and mindfulness.

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It's deceased!

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Five. Years. Later.

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Even George Foreman used Roman numerals!

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Double...dare?

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Pop quiz! (Well, maybe not for Elliot.)

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Update!

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‘Please, God, no’

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From throuple to couple.

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Weddings and parental control.

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Did we watch Alex Honnold ascend Taipei 101 over the weekend?

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Don't leave home without it.

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Just the ones you want to retain!

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The meteorologist's preview of the weekend (and next week's, too) winter storm.

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Can you Phil in the rest?

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Where you see people's privates all the time.

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And through with (home)goods.

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A celebrity sighting, Georgetown basketball, and The Card.

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Upchuck.

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Elliot tries out whole-body vibration.

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Thieves got a thing.

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Go fund yourself?!

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Allergies and the sideline story.

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Maybe more people should let ChatGPT name their babies.

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Operating while individual?

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Knuckle under twin powers, activate!

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kellybronze.com

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I read the notifications today, oh, boy...

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"Come here, come here!"

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Deer advice column.

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Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin...my day.

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A "booger wall" PSA.

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Time to turn in your homework!

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Now open at Potomac Yard.

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"Top 250 answers are on the board..."

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EITM interviews Brad Meltzer

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Tyler went to the dentist.

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And a time to laugh?

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What gets answered and what is silenced?

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An elevator etiquette examination.

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CONSUME AT YOUR OWN RISK!

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There's attire?

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Josh and Dustin prepare to take on "The World's Hottest Gummy Bear."

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Tethered spinal cord, anyone?

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Have you ever set one in motion at work?

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Talking pneumonia.

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1-800-GLAMOUR

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Tyler's family got a table tennis set for Christmas, but Santa was nowhere to be found with his sleigh.

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EITM interviews Gunnar Nelson

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What's the worst ticket you've gotten?

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This is not a confirmed booking—at least not yet.

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Shock and haw.

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How Grande?

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EITM interviews Christian Finnegan

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(IYKYK)

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Class 4!! And more!

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Lego.

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9-1-1, what's an emergency?

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Are in-laws out of bounds?

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1212

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Come for the drugs, stay for the orgy!

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No Fun League strikes again?

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Carlos ValderramAAAAH!!

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And arrested!

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Did Tyler just bend or brachial?

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You're burning up the posterior mile!

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Didgeridoo Maverick.

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PDQ!

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Doofus, Duolingo, and Duran Duran.

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Very sucky.

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marjdotjpg.com

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Neurodivergence behind the wheel.

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Come for the advice, stay for the surprise.

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Goochland County, another inflatable, Frank Capone, and more.

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Welcome back to Elliot's Advice Corner!

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EITM interviews Sean Burch

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By the peach noise.

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Orthodoxy by proxy.

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(As long as you chew with your mouth closed and don’t speak with it full.)

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Cock-a-doodle-don't.

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The heist of the Shenandoah.

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Makes Krysten a jolly happy soul.

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You ARE the daughter!

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Jack right off?

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...is Thanksgiving week.

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"Yes, hello, Elliot..."

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Shopping addiction, Black Friday, and more.

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You down with UAP?

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An apology, a thank you, and more.

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Following up on that follow-up Friday call.

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What are we missing?

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Anyone with additional information can call 301-600-TIPS (8477), email fpdcrimetip@frederickmdpolice.org, or text 240-674-TIPS (8477).

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Smart...phones.

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(Unless there's an HOA.)

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Washroom for seconds?

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In our furum.

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HPPD

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🤞

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With News4's Drew Wilder!

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Can I get your digits?

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"Shut up! Shut up!"

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Move that triple-decker bus!

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The Commanders weren't the only ones in Madrid.

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EITM interviews Bert Kreischer

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The worst things to say to someone.

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Car blanche?

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On one family's school board fight to keep a student and service dog together.

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But you're married and have high blood pressure.

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What? I thought we were in the panty tree.

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Volunteers?

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Because they are stacked all over the place!

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EITM interviews Return To DustSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Turning was your homework!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Pittsburgh potty, anyone?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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No need to MOC.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Pop quiz!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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What is St. Louis, Missouri?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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What would a Dutch uncle say?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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The bridesmaids want-ed a celebration!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Paging Pasquatch and Scott Devours!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Post-tattoo stress disorder.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Man's best friend is science.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Explore cannabis friendly lodging!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I'm gonna pick up the pieces and build additions.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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What would Jon Ballard say?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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The bestselling author recaps his trip to Toronto for Game 6 and 7 of the World Series.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Ceremony substances.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Richmond's Marj Santaromana and more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Dash and The Dangerously Stupid Show are back in the studio for Halloween.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Ranked!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I am afraid of yo ghost.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Are you Halloweenie or Hallow-fiend?

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EITM interviews Brad Meltzer

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EITM interviews Bert Kreischer

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Watch out, Nevada, here Diane comes!

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An update.

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Cher'in their language!

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(And Adam Tuss.)

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Actress June Lockhart lived 100 years, but all Elliot cared about were two husbands—both named John.

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Top ten answers are on the board!

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What in the World Series?

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BEEP...BEEP...BEEP!

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Should jokes be on the 'do not play' list?

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scholarscompass.vcu.edu/mighty_pen

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...sexy?

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OCD meets grief.

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Have you ever felt concert-old?

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Losers keepers?

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AKA BUTT-BREATHING!

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Thong wrong?

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No, tank you.

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And dying!

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(Maybe not for Diane.)

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From condom to calm down.

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The ins and outs of sitting.

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Riding rataphooey.

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Do summer readers know that autumn comes?

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waterboys.org/jacobrainey

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On trial!

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Remembering Ace Frehley.

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quickly changes channel off of Nickelodeon

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From the people that brought you shower beers!

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One nose that became too difficult to overlook.

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Arctic school is very cool.

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Diane talks making stickers at Cleveland's Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, while Elliot tells her what made the news outside.

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First order? Bands!

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The NBC Washington reporter and anchor is transporting to the ballroom.

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You 'do you.

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It's gotta be da shoes!

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Would you have any interest in bigger winnings?

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There's really nothing real about real-estate reality television.

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Sorry, floor·BALL!

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DISCLAIMER: Elliot has never seen 'Bob Ross: Happy Accidents, Betrayal & Greed.'

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What happened to "Kidnap The Sandy Claws"?

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The gang tries facial cold plunging.

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Your grandmama never said packing lines is sin.

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Francine’s home. 💙🐾

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Born to be, born to be glowin'!

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EITM interviews Spencer Carbery

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It's the only intrauterine device remover asked for by name!

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Misleading by example.

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As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain...

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Boo, kay?

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Plus, "Bread Olympics"!

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But does the basement theater have an usher?

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Amanda and Chris on the years-long search for their father's 1985 Dodge Ramcharger.

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Attendance remittance.

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freshsteplaundry.com

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"Francine: missing from Richmond, Va since 9/18. Last known location:Lowe's RDC #1420 in Garysburg, NC. She is microchipped. She is beloved by a whole city."

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Managing comedy at the office.

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Campus skis!

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Charity begins at 7.

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Lose-win situations.

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When do you make amends?

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This...is EXTREME!!

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"... like a street monitor?"

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EITM interviews Dusty Slay

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EITM interviews Pierre-Luc Dubois

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Petty for your thoughts?

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With deepest sympathy.

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GoFundMe and the office.

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Flame-fleeing phoners.

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Foo Fighters, Caps hockey, Elliot's doctor visit, and more.

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When you rest under a star.

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My kink is parmesan.

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Google Lens me a hand.

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That's Greek to me!

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Happy Capitals Training Camp!

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Pees and characters.

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Cheat!

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Recapping Sam's first-ever cruise.

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Goodbye, goodbye, construction site.

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Of all time.

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YOLO.

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Sorry, aubergine.

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An explantation explanation.

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(Only dumb ones.)

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H is for horny...and hospital, of course!

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The pleura provisional.

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Mangalica, anyone?

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Happy Birthday, Diane!

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"Been a long time, I've been trying to get ahold of you."

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When "Last Dance" isn't Donna Summer.

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Athena on Mi(last)nerva.

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She's got a pother confession to make.

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Elliot recaps his night out at Crofton Country Club with Locker, Joe B., and more.

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Ranked.

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Banned in the BOS.

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Will it be smooth sailing or Milkman overboard?

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PNES!

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Anxiety flare-up on aisle seven.

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Talk is worse than one's?

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Flying restrictions and the pilots who shove them.

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Life (and death) in Black Rock City.

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Empowering minds, redefining evacuation.

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Payback or respects?

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Live from Chicago, it's Mike Jones!

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Graphs.

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Love thy neighbor's presents.

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Check it one time, girrrl!

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Lovin' the ol' grudge f***.

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Milkweed v. Reston Association (2025)...and before.

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No other collection captures the mood better.

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You're golden?

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Golfer Tommy Fleetwood still can't win.

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Bring me shame, can't nothing.

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EMAW, right?

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EITM interviews Simon Neil

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(And Wayne.)

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From sitting shiva to sitting ringside.

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Ready to have a ball?

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Apologies to Matt Damon.

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Frederick's own ambidextrous artist.

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Recapping EITM's takeover of Six Flags America.

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Is getting together with an ex's sibling always vindictive?

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Endurance athlete Michael Wardian, 51, challenges Elliot.

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Stars—they're just like us?

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Mubadala Citi DC Open chairman and Washington Commanders partner Mark Ein talks professional athlete safety.

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How worried does Elliot really have to be about vertigo for Wild One Night Only?

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...aren't always records.

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Sports!

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Or is it loathe?

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More like bored walk, right?

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A credit card calculation.

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A breakdown.

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Are we buying?

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...to a shallow grave?

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A sib fib.

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Does everyone really have them?

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What have you (had) taken?

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And my anxiety, yeah.

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Or can it just remain a Banner day?

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Jacob Griffith takes Elliot on an aquatic adventure from the Southside of Richmond to the world of merfolk.

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For·ev·er!

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Nair do well?

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By Hans Christian Andersen?

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What's out with in-flight entertainment.

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Advice for an amateur.

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Flags and Toby's.

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🎵 I've got something to tell you
I've got news for you 🎵

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A food bite.

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Said like it's doing.

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How long did the "yes" take?

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Wang darn.

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No one loves trees more than Elliot?

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They wanna be where the merpeople are.

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From the irrelevant to the illegal.

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Reviewing Toby's Dinner & Show's "The Little Mermaid."

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It's evacuation!

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Meet gumshoe Krysten.

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When you need to do everything right.

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Anal yeast?

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Come on, Krysten!

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"It's a disgrace."

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Anyone can file a complaint if they believe there has been a violation of the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act.

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And all free today!

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A weekend of firsts.

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The best.

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Hot, Stove. Hot!

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Of all time.

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...

...

...

...

...

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It's a little lightbulb that blinks!

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Is duckpin bowling next for Diane?

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On his sister's life and the new docuseries, "Amy Bradley Is Missing."

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Is it in the cards or behind the bars?

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It's not delivery, it's defiance.

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Remember Carmen and Lupita?

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Double tow: Heaven.

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Back from summer vacation!

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مع السلامة
goodbye

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🙄

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The best.

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Tyler went to the dermatologist yesterday.

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Coming soon to Toby's Dinner Theatre!

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Sweat-curity!

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Program manager for Helping Addicts Recover Progressively (HARP) in Chesterfield County Jail.

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What's the worst kind of vehicle to be stuck behind?

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What's the best way to avoid shakes on a plane?

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That is the test, phlegm.

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Or does it?

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The no-fur curious movement.

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Figuratively.

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Whether he has been the outright winner or a co-champion, Elliot has actually never lost this game. Will his reign (of terror) finally come to an end?

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Ric Flair Drip?

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Let's ro–bot!

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But not Maury's!

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The famous psychic steed.

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Dumped on vacation.

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I still can see them sweating...

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NATIONAL ACADEMY OF TELEVISION ARTS & SCIENCES
NATIONAL CAPITAL CHESAPEAKE BAY CHAPTER

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Are phone-free camps fun-free too?

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Of all time.

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Spoon-oo-on, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Spoon-oo-on, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh

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Artificial in...the morning.

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Syracuse me!?

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And not knowing if married!

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Meeting friends online...and then in person.

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But not if you talked the talk.

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NS-Oh No!

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Must see inside? Naaah...

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Let's hear it...and your response!

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Tattoodle!

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The stages of beef.

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It's time to kill the lights.

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In Diesel.

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Who said it's my year? Was it you there?

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Who's that c*ntry?

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Hysterectomy and dehiscence.

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A questionnaire.

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Doom goes the Costco display.

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But Elliot wants to know.

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Been work-in'  so hard.

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And urine!

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Metalli-WHAT?

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Plus more ways to stink up the car.

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Tell me something, boy
Aren't you tired tryna fill that void?

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Elliot gets the call from Life Guard Imaging.

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(Except Mike Jones.)

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Bringing fun to a knife fight.

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Extorted then Left™ Right®.

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On locks.

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Such a strange situation.

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And I'm an actor.

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Also known as the brain-eating amoeba.

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No fire extinguisher league.

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Like it, love it? Or don't want more of it?

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TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
PLEASE❌❌❌STAND BY

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Boo heights?

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E needs to thank his lucky stars, Alan May and Karl Alzner.

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Very funny.

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Fantasy Draft 2025!

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With surprise guest Juliana Valencia!

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The world's most beloved card game?

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We be getting down...to Tampa.

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There might be a little dust on the bottle.

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Billy Joel recently announced that he has been diagnosed with normal pressure hydrocephalus, or NPH.

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BJS' son stops by with an offer for Tyler.

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Charles Woodson, Desmond Howard, Tom—oh. Nevermind.

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Is there one when it comes to strangers?

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"That's the one I went to."

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Ranked.

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EITM interviews Spike Mendelsohn

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“I’m going to tell you a big bomb.”

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And Haley, don't worry about a thing.

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🎶 The Italian Ex - change Stu - dent 🎶

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Dayclubs on tour.

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And why it matters.

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What the truck?

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How about NO DOLLS?!

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Theory and tumescence.

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She's kerosene?!

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"Can you repeat that? 'Cause I was not paying attention to a word you said."

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Come for the anniversary gift, stay for the last caller's offering.

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I'm awesome?

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Tuned up.

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(Sort of.)

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EITM interviews Matthew Broussard

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...of all time.

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Saying(s) nothing.

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Called it...off?

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Time to say hello to Huntingtown High School!

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EITM interviews Brad Meltzer

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No big whoop?

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Greatly EGGaggerated?

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"What do I have going on here?"

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Maryland's theme park to close after the 2025 operating season.

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EITM interviews Joe Beninati

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The 151st Run for the Roses.

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Aack her anything.

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You hate to say it.

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'Which animal has saved the most human lives?'

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The most.

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Are we making a meal out of a show?

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When divorced parents never get along.

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EITM interviews Wilderado

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Trick AND treat!

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And salt on the reptile...por favor.

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Saying it wrong on purpose.

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And I'll write your brain!

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Hybrid. Rockstar.

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Another Bumble fumble.

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But there's vacancy!

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Character, Courage, and Couture.

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On everything.

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Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Oi, oy vey.

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"So we're fostering another dog..."

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Attorney? Attor-ME!

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The 10 greatest.

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Busy as a...bee.

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Tales from the ER.

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BANK ERROR
IN YOUR FAVOR

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The 'Below Deck' alum is visiting home in Southern Maryland and heard Elliot was talking yachts.

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ROUND
♠️41♠️

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EITM interviews Robert Irvine

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A Tiki Takeover recap.

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Meet Leah.

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Featuring star resident Lisa, who held the day's oldest caller record for about twenty minutes.

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Composting for dumpies.

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And evermaskers.

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And you're our headlight queen!

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A tradition unlike any other.

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Las Vegas, Nevada

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"Swing Into Summer" once again with the Alzner Foundation.

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Anyone?

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What's going on, Steve?

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EITM interviews Dylan Strome

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Of all time.

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Nice to meet you!

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"The chasing days are done! Alex Ovechkin is the greatest goal scorer in the history of the NHL." -Joe Beninati

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Yodel-Ay-Eee-ooh, Diane!

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Where are we on beeping whilst locking?

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Another office bathroom mystery.

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(Sorry, John Walton.)

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A pop-ularity quiz.

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PENIS

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What to do after you're a victim of fraud.

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Know a compulsive liar?

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AKA Splitting!

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Diane is high.

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EITM interviews Alan May

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Wee! Wee! Wee!

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You wanted the best, you got the best.

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Puppy parents and their future service dogs.

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When it comes to wedding traditions, bio or step?

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swimkatie.com

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This isn't legal advice...{unintelligible}.

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Cliiick-Click. Click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click.

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Take me me down to the Paradise Island!

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"... where other presenters fear to tread."

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In re P.E.

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Check yes for bun.

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Bang. Bam. Boom.

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All bells breaking loose.

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Zach Roth gets everyone ready for Las Vegas.

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The best.

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EITM interviews Bert Kreischer

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Popping bottles and cherries in Vegas.

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Is it claustrophobia?

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In a single sentence!

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POPSUGAR is right!

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Is too many pets?

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And it's not Elliot!

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Fast to the mend?

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...and I'm all out of wood.

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More like Poké, man!

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That's all folk!

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Looking to identify.

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HELLLLOOO!

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And hello again, Pierce!

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For those that like when Elliot goes at it with teens.

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Working hard or secretly engaged to be married?

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White lithium grease and Juicy Head.

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The announcement we've all been waiting for...

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EITM interviews Inhaler

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More specifically, the very first date.

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And the case of the missing Papa Johns Garlic Bath Bomb.

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But I can bust you out!

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EITM interviews Brad Meltzer

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'If anyone takes anything from this, please put your health first.' -instagram.com/jodi.vance.fit

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My identity!

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Vaginal, penile, and other words that make Elliot laugh.

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EITM interviews Dylan Strome

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Dos & D'oh!

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But have you heard of pigbutt...worm?

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EITM interviews Ted Leonsis

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But I would walk five thousand miles?

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(And pronunciations.)

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Armrest in peace.

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Controlling yourself on the road.

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Washington Capitals play-by-play announcer Joe B on The Gr8 Chase's TV schedule, wanting Ovechkin to "beat goaltenders" for Gretzky's record, and broadcasting partner Craig Laughlin's recovery from open-heart surgery.

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Doesn't take much to make me happy!

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Ooh,__ Career________ Dream-er!

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Vagina matata.

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Third time's a charm?

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NULL!

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When you're a Minnesotan and you feel a sudden explosion.

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From hospital to hospitality.

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Sorry, STUNT on radio.

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In this egg-conomy?!

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Are we familiar?

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❤️
?
8·93

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An update from Capitals PA announcer Wes Johnson.

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"I'm going to be very honsest, I'm a touch insulted..."

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Beep-beep'm-beep-beep, yeah!

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A mortification mortgage.

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Too curious.

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For sale!

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I do wanna be buried?

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A Casey study.

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Just what the doctor ordered?

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Trap-Trap!

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Sorry, TouchTunes.

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"Go Birds!"

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Or, more accurately, a mixture of helium and air.

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And neither the village nor hamlet in England.

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"This past Saturday morning, one of our worst nightmares came true."

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Got breast milk?

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Are spaces actually phone-free?

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First spill of '25!

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Wishlist now?

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First date brick!

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(Female)

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Nintendo Joy-Con sound effect

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He's still real to me, dammit!

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If you hear something, say something.

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Almost two weeks off and almost two years in hospice.

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Sorry, wishing death!

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Ménage à nah?

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Brothers and sisters, we are gathered here to tattoo.

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Going at it again!

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Sit and purrl.

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Britain's favourite swearing dictionary.

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Noodlehead!

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That doesn't mean that they're letting you look at presents before Christmas.

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ELLIOT IS A FREE MAN!

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(*In a perfect world)

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The TSA spokesperson on how to get through security without an ID.

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U+2??

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Fir fun facts!

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Ah, so ornery
Misokinesia

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So, what's causing Tyler's abdominal discomfort?

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tiktok.com/@jesuscaching

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Could you fill me?

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But first, Diane's got high school sports!

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Hello, Calvert!

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Tyler got his scan done and now we wait, but for what?

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Survivor Matt Urey from Richmond checks in five years to the date.

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Padel, Caps' Alt-Cast, and Taco Bell.

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Computed tomography...this time. Not "camel toe"—although it is Tyler.

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A foot in scholastic wrestling's ass?

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Scruples!

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Pigs in a gambit.

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It's Dustin, baby!

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Elliot finally got his answer.

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The business of breakups.

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Sorry, holiday party.

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Good news, bad news.

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This is the famous Molnar house.

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When sex education fails.

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And tips!

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It's not whatever, whatever, whatever you like.

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The end is near!

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Gladiators and Commanders.

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R DEY BEWBS!?

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(Sandy)

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It has been a month to forget for Elliot and his wife.

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EITM interviews Gianmarco Soresi

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Decorating dos and don'ts.

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And trips LEFT?!

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Should human beings die out, what would rule?

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Soil me up and smoke me when I die?

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Who do you think you arrr?

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Is Tyler going vegetarian?

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Proposing a reproposal.

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...OUT LOUD!

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The Assistant Director and Professor for the George Mason University Forensic Science Program.

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What's Elliot to do about his cast-exposed piggies?

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You're not listening to Elliot!

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(And none of it the radio kind!)

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Not just for puppeteers!

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Yoseph, the movies, and SIGH**.

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Parent and family weekends—go!

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Top 50.

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Prepare to be entertained.

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Who is the driver getting Elliot to work every day now?

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Plus, Connections: Strike Edition!

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E explains why the show was off for two days.

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A recap of Diane's legendary night bowling.

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Tonight!

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Moving forward (or backward, more accurately), the row on Elliot's season ticket plan may be a lie.

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Does anyone really do this in the bathroom?

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Sorry, grannies.

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And can Elliot finally talk about that HR investigation?

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AriZona's number one fan (and Virginia's own) Hannah Mead.

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And he didn't just get a flu shot!

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At Lone Oak Farm!

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Maybe.

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This Friday!

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Scale and assessment.

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Just hours out from the 2024 MCM, runner Michael Wardian previews his 175th marathon, but first with son Pierce.

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"Let me get behind you!"

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866-2-EL...oh, nevermind.

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That's my credo!

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Confidentiality in the workplace.

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Diane's going bowling!

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(As in shoe...well, all of it, really.)

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No matter what, it is never your fault.

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Standing desks, CTS, and more.

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Graded A through F...for flu.

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Tyler was back at urgent care.

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What's the truck hierarchy?

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Slow living, anyone?

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Postseason baseball, a medical issue, celebrity sightings, and more.

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Elliot thinks he knows why he's having a hard time talking.

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Or, extremely confusing.

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What happened to the loudest and proudest Texas-sized celebration?

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When the body, mind and spirit's harmony goes flat—ulent...vaginally.

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Author A.J. Jacobs competes in a triathlon.

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Hot sauce and the subjective experience.

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Well, really just the kids. Both parents? 🪦🪦

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EITM interviews Karl Alzner

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"Best caller of the day!"

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Are we familiar?

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Get out your checks notes revitalization masks?

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Uncovering the truth after they're covered in dirt.

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Tempers flare at senior care.

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"I got wrapped up in storytelling!"

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Did Elliot, Diane, and Krysten make the final cut?

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Or, Segal v. Altoido Part??

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Which ones are at the top?

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Go get us some TENDIES!

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Sharing is...wearing?

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Cannabis and music.

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No trial, but definitely errors.

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At home!

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Clickbait, that is.

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EITM interviews Dylan Strome

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What could go wrong?

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Hi, Diane!

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EITM interviews Eric Hutchinson

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The hair, the chair, and more.

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She busted her forehead open!

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Goo-goo, ga-ga and other grievances at work.

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Big sis.

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A recap of EITM's weekend trip to Cincinnati.

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How a DNA ancestry service helped find a 1951 kidnapping victim.

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Off to Oktoberfest Zinzinnati!

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Say tan!

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Diane is all in on Rockville's own Joan Vassos.

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I've been havin' dreams...jumpin' off one.

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Season 47 debuts tonight, but remember the silver anniversary?

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EITM interviews Brad Meltzer

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Different date of birth!

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Remember the guy just outside of Richmond with the largest collection of sports cards in the world?

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The mane event.

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Might remix it?

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How fast are you?

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Say again?

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EITM interviews Rue McKenrick

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And starts getting real.

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Sing the Queen City!

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Also known as Frey's syndrome.

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I just can't get you out of my head.

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Are you a pushy, sorry, pusher?

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James Earl Jones and "Wheel Of Fortune."

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This breed's for you!

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Also, Max and Spencer from SHAED!

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https://www.wtarescue.com/

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VulvaMoment

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Promo cheat codes.

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It's my party, and I'll turn off all cell signal capabilities if I want to.

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Hello, Cincy? Hello, Cincy!

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Is a hot dog-eating competition the new Labor Day tradition?

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Or, checks and fraud.

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When they go low, we go to Highland, Maryland for more practice, no?

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America has voted.

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When drivers react.

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He may have founded Barnes & Noble, but Diane found out what she was getting for her birthday.

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Food poisoning, cell outage, and cyberattack.

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The Cleveland-based chef and 2023 James Beard award finalist talks EDWINS Leadership & Restaurant Institute.

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Always a bad friend?

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Tyler's headed to the beach again (?) because E's got another first-year college (!) move-in.

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And their second date fates.

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Is the insurance actually worth it?

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The've gotten the band back together!

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A terminal exhibition.

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Inherently problematic?

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Hello, my friends...

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For a moment.

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The 15 year old from Virginia will be representing USA Roller Sports next month at the World Figure Cup in Prato, Italy.

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We're on the island?!

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Was your data leaked?

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Top 40 is not the format.

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Show us your synonyms!

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Socializing, drinking, and meno-pausing.

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State police are here?

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Elliot wants the Budweiser Clydesdales to stop by the station.

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"I can start financial or spiritual."

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...no.

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COXINHA
IS BETTER THAN
HOT DOG

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Sold, Ellicott City?

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slow (viking) clap

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Physically and mentally.

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A walking mystery.

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Searchin' desk drawers.

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Bringing the stairs not the stares.

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Are we familiar?

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The NBC4 Washington reporter checks in from the Summer Olympics.

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Josie from Silver Spring called about an actual topic, but mostly wanted to go after Elliot.

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The unworldly prices per minute of today's top tix.

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(For these medical stories.)

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GOOD FOR ONE ADMISSION
TO DISNEYLAND AND
ULIMITED USE OF
ATTRACTIONS (EXCEPT
ARCADES)

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We did? Oh. Dammit, Diane!

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Or don't, it's your cruise after all.

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(It did eventually get fixed.) (Not the outbreak.)

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Thanks for reducin'!

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(It's the new Ohio.)

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What did we learn more than anything?

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Slipped on the ol' banana...ketchup.

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Featuring Elliot's "favorite person of the week"!

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Arrest me!

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Don't order big if it's not your big day.

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The latest on Elliot's dog, Clancy.

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EITM interviews Derrick Stroup

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Elliot began the show talking about his dog, Clancy, and ended with an update.

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Name. That. Tune.

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PHWOAR!

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Treehouse committee on family rules.

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The reviews are in!

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Wider than a mile?

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Not so fast!

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Bob?

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Haven't even left yet — have a show to do still — but somebody's already frustrating ahead of Minnesota.

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A car to arms.

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The 12 On Your Side meteorologist is back...for the very first time.

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Public (beach and pool) displays of affection.

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WTF

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Now go find out what Marley said.

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Stay safe in July.

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Gross!

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EITM interviews Zoltan Kaszas

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My g-g-generation!

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Literally.

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...makin' a poop.

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Baby, that's somethin'. (Oh, that's somethin'.)

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EITM interviews Brad Meltzer

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(checking a box checks it for everyone!)

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Emphasis on back.

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Don't forget to remember!

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EITM interviews Katie Pumphrey

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Or simply, what the hell happened yesterday?

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EITM interviews A.J. Jacobs

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What a Twin Ci-tease!

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Watching the Céline Dion documentary?

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Should my ass call somebody?

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More like, where we bin?

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Up for driving lessons, middle of it at "Fully Loaded," and down the shore.

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EITM interviews Bert Kreischer, Joe DeRosa & Dan Soder

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Somebody to shove behind your framed Dave Pirner photo.

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Miss Manners flips the script.

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When it comes to apartment living, how do you deal with a loud...masturbator?

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Occupational Employment and Wage Statistics.

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EITM interviews Marc Roberge

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Kroger? I hardly know her.

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Kitty, Josh. Not kidney. Well...actually, yes. Kitten kidneys.

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Out-of-office, Mike Jones is also out ofsurgery.

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Fail.

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And possibly the world!

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Hello, this is Kevin...

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howardsketches.com

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But not illegal!

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"Why is my hand swollen?"

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And a second opinion perhaps for Tyler!

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Or is it?

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Surprise! On the phone!

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Can we talk about Spirit for one second?

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A recap.

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We're going to Disney World!

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𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐀𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐧𝐢

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PMA for WDW!

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(Camel...toe.)

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Ironically, there are no words.

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swimkatie.com

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College and high school!

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Spinning your way out of the rumor mill.

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Did Tyler find it to be somewhere to smile about?

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One of many Gold Star family members in D.C. over the weekend on Arlington National Cemetery.

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The 'Purveyor of the Dangerously Stupid' brings his show case to perform live in the studio alongside fiancée Dot.

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Heavenly hand...delivered ice cream?

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Therapy, friendship, and more?

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No secret sauce. (And cycling.)

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How well do you know your co-worker?

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The NBC4 reporter checks in to talk about the new Netflix series, "Sex, Lies & Scandal."

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Grab bag or crap bag?

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Put on your thinkining caps then your party hats!

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Elliot will be checking all coolers as you head out for MDW.

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What's better than a Preakness-winning horse owner? Two of 'em!

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Always good to avoid giving birthday gifts that start fires.

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"Human city" or not humanly possible?

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When Josh posts, 'Fun Fact: I can inner voice every word to Cantaloop,' it's time to cue up everyone's favorite British jazz rap group... Us3!!

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Wait, why isn't Krysten turning her chair?

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Friends with nemesis'...new spouse!

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For goodness' sake.

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Sorry, starters. Conversation starters!

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What are you going to do next?

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Inspired by Tyler?

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Which one is most like the rest of the country?

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Show me what those eyes do!

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Another world record holder heads to Europe.

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EITM interviews Bert Kreischer

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I am the first barkid poet.

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Make Jen a match!

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The Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association (AOPA) COO talks Saturday's National Celebration of General Aviation DC Flyover and more.

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When pet owners heavy pet.

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We could smoke barefoot in the snow.

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When a period becomes an exclamation point.

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Group project, anyone?

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The comedic effects.

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It must be some kinda, no?

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An update from Carlos'n Party himself.

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EITM's night of 007.

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LosOnAir may be no more.

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A lot of Sean Connery. And a lot of Shirley Bassey. Oh, and also a ranked list of the themes.

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But once a confesser, always a cheater, right?

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Cash-based competiton is coming soon to D&B!

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How long is too long at a doctor's office?

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Generally, it isn't nice to talk about someone when they're not hair.

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"Thank You, Goodnight" and the Capitals.

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Let go, but still employed.

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I dreamed?

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Monumental Sports Network analyst Alan May previews the hockey weekend ahead, as the Caps-Rangers Stanley Cup Playoffs series shifts home to Capital One Arena.

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The highlights.

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AKA the "rally" or the "bounce-back."

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Lays an onion!

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Magic Kingdom and back.

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And I do go to?

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Kimycola recaps her night one audition.

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Oxford and Cleveland, Ohio.

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EITM interviews Matthew Broussard

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EITM interviews Tom Wilson

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Radio? Oh god no!

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Monumental Sports Network Capitals play-by-play announcer Joe Beninati chats about the Caps' win in Philly and previews the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

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It's your boy, Party Lucc!

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(And Party FINCH!!)

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Sorrey.

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Wait, did someone get nights?

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But that doesn't mean you can't be into erotic asphyxiation!

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Waking and breaking the big news to superfan/celebrity chef Steve Mannino.

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2K24!!

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ＡＵＧＵＳＴＡ ＮＡＴＩＯＮＡＬ ＧＯＬＦ ＣＬＵＢ

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World record holder Kimycola heads to England.

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Hensel who?

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The CEO of table tennis and pickleball manufacturer JOOLA is moving in down the street.

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In the future, one bin is the law.

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Or not.

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There are no healthy addictions.

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The NASA astrophysicist recaps her trip to see the eclipse and more.

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Let's go ahead and declare an emergency landing...

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Hands-up comedy with Bert Kreischer.

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Mouth bass!

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Uber
Collisional

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Can what you hear change how you taste?

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Everyone makes judgments based on non-corrective orthodontia.

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Well, it is, actually, but it's also line hacking!

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Diane's been made aware of some scenarios and more.

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Like Bobby Riggs and Billie Jean King — minus actual tennis.

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Found something to do!

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Nodding off to get...there.

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Trip or skip?

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Rise of the machines.

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Food Friday.

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Abby and Brittany Hensel are back with some exciting old news.

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Give them to your sons!

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Baseball, Monumental, and more.

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A piercing problem and an...other problem.

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0̵̠͉̘͔͛̿͂̏͌́́̕5̵̡̢̬̫̯̗̱͠:̴̨̦͓̗̬̺̔͐̈́͗͌̈́̉͝ͅ4̵̬̬͔͈̖̹̈́̃̏̋̈̀8̷͍̐͂͛͆̌̀̚:̶̛̛̰̜̣̬̈́̐̅̿́͠0̸̱͇̬͖̻̦̍͊̽͌0̷̥͙̠̲̾̒̓̇̈́̇͆̌̿͝

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The Barkley is worse than the bite.

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How much you got?

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A recap.

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HONK IF YOU LOVE
ANIMATED DITTIES

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Wait, pass...es?

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THE FOLLOWING CLIP CONTAINS AUDIO
THAT SOME LISTENERS MAY FIND UPSETTING

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Wriggle, wriggle, wriggle, wriggle, wriggle, no.

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Former Washington Capitals defenseman Karl Alzner and his wife, Mandy, on their foundation's upcoming charity event, Chris Simon, and more.

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𝒩𝑜 𝒞𝓊𝓇𝑒 (𝒜𝒸𝓇𝓎𝓁𝒾𝒸 𝒩𝒶𝒾𝓁𝓈) ......................... $𝟣,𝟩𝟧𝟢,𝟢𝟢𝟢

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EITM interviews Liz Hopkins

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Apparently, headaches are not like assh*les.

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Elliot finally gets it, but did Rolo get adopted?

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Papatui, Tyler? More like Ah-kablooey!

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This! Is! Just tacky!

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& Executive Director of Richmond Wildlife Center, Melissa Stanley!

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A post-operative scare.

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...not sorry!

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You're f*cking horny?

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The future of the fair-wait, Krysten has something to say.

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Pump & Pantry & Plead.

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Tell your dog I said bye.

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Cry the friendly skies.

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Speaking of cheats, did somebody do just that?

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What do parents do when their own kids are cheating on relationships?

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EITM interviews Tom Papa

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Uncover words.

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Youuu're collectible!

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Sick of the apps? Let's DING...go.

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But I had nothing to do with it!

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DAY
ONE
ISH

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By...naming that tune!

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Lisa Abrahams on what happened when her husband, Lincoln, got shocked biking the Washington & Old Dominion Trail over the weekend.

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Separationship??

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Challenge accepted?

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Vigilance amongst us.

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Don't count your puppies before you're outmatched.

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(Hint: It's in the tree.)

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A.K.A. Carving Colin!

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Fiber's coming in?

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On >

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Zoom-shakalaka.

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A Cam·e·uh-oh?

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Long live the DVD!

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But how about sharing a bed?!

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Tim Tam taste test and more.

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Elliot is (probably) getting a third dog.

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A bachelor's in...not what I'm doing.

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Mast cell activation syndrome, anyone?

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With a "Chocolate" Chip treat!

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Fill in the blank.

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Please don't indicate your preferred meal option.

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EITM interviews Amy Yasbeck

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On the plane, I just can't wait?

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With who?

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Happy Birthday weekend to you, too!

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But may never show his face there again!

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The RidicuList.

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The 100 Best.

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𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗘𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗼𝘁:

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Be careful where you choose to eat this Valentine's Day.

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As taught by an art instructor.

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In the key of wipe.

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Still mean a thing?

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Or a performance imprOOPS!

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The audience isn't swell!

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But he was a sugar guy.

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Or...B.B.L. NO!?

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Which news do you want to hear first?

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EITM interviews Moshe Kasher

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Solve for WJLX.

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Nigel, calm down.

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EITM interviews The Record Company

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Makeup artist Kelley Unthank talks paintin' faces as we palm 'em.

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With your host, Elliot Bitch-man!

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Mom approved post!

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These are the best days of our lives?

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Are lip balms all they're cracked up to be?

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Half mastiff, AmStaff, or whatever — pick it up!

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PHOTO
ENFORCED

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Opening 2025!

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Apply!

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Those who can't ski (or snowboard), tube?

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That's what makes it alright?

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Surprise! On the phone!

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Do hwat?

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Dream until your diagnoses come true.

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Total loss.

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Oh! Line 5?

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(Well, Krysten does have the ones for the feet too.)

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EITM interviews Sean Burch

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Of all time.

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(After calling out sick.)

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Sundays at 10/9c on TLC!

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Coo, loo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo.

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Well, no. You are engaged.

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Krysten went to the doctor for her TMJ...D.

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EITM interviews Dusty Slay

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Or as Krysten calls it, "ᴛᴍᴊᴅ."

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You are fully bonded and licensed by the city, aren't you, Mr. Plow?

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This has nothing to do with Jack White...or does it?

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The Sweeper!

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BIRD
CALLS!

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Hair hats!

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Of all time.

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Surprise! On the phone!

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Maria got us mamajuana, Diane got us fined?

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On your way home yesterday that you would've seen again on your way in today?

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EITM interviews Brad Meltzer

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The classic fast-thinking game — now available on the radio!

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Said Elliot, who was dead wrong and now (whether he likes it or not) is going to get one for his birthday.

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⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Don't believe me? Ask The Sitch!

https://twitter.com/ItsTheSituation/status/1745435313801925029

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Thank you for calling. My name is Local Bill.

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The average person has how many panic attacks a year?

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Who threw a wedding at Mansion Society without the owners' consent?

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I just made you say "underwear."

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Anyone (else) know the Cochrans?

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Startin' off the year with another world record attempt!

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The yoga ball stability chair appears to be the office's first fitness trend for 2024. How would that work in the studio?

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EITM interviews Rafi Kohan

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Smell test!

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Segal 🆚 Stupar

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Pouch me.

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Hello, hello, hello, how sal?

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Did we know Krysten had an exchange student?

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Elliot (?) is making hydration a priority in the new year.

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A wicked case of COVID.

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The perfect gift, but not the perfect ending.

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Always a blamer.

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From Death Valley, I give you...another inflatable!

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Investigating the news surrounding Richmond's nationally known deer.

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And its effects, clinically as well as recreationally.

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Anyone know Audrey Thelemann?

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Someone stole Krysten's husband's motorcycle.

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And a Whamageddon telegraph.

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Or are they all bad?

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Don't stifle!

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OMGYN!

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R.I.P.

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Write about your day and add photos, places, and more.

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...M. Barlow.

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Or lady, Godiva!?

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Are we familiar with Sandbox VR??

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Veselé Vánoce 🇨🇿

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Happy Friday!

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What dumb things did you do as a kid?

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gofundme.com/f/yqu87u-draft

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Can somebody help Elliot?

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(From my high school.)

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TV, RHCP, and NHL Draft.

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ChokeHOLD UP!!

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Porch pi—pitmaster?

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Can these temporary holiday arrangements lead to long lasting love?

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And phrases!

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Elliot recaps his trip to JCPenney for shoes.

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TREE★T your whole family!

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Ever been dive-bombed by a feathered enemy?

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A former MLB pitcher turned Santa's elf needs a little (Xmas?) help.

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A check-up.

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Krysten reviews KISS' "End Of The Road" World Tour stop in Baltimore.

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Australian for Elliot, Jacquie, and the new dog.

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Met, met you in the ladies room.

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Did you know that word comes from Greek, meaning a "female servant" role? Because that's what I've been playing in this marriage and I WANT A DIVORCE!

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Cancel the drive!

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Or woman of letters!

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"Inflatables aren't gifts!"

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Nothing mini about these bats.

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Got breast milk?

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Splish splash, I was drinkin' a beer!

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Surprises at the apartment, house, and doctor's office.

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Like long-term relationships?

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(I will not wait.)

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Tells me where he has been?

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Nun-uh!

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(No, Diane did not go. Yes, it's the one she wasn't invited to...originally.)

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Public enemies?

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EITM interviews Jason Wright

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Kris Armstrong's former husband and new husband turn trauma into triumph.

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Missing education because you're fired.

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Free
Bird!

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Krysten goes backstage at WWE Raw.

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W̷h̷e̷n̷ ̷y̷o̷u̷ ̷o̷r̷d̷e̷r̷ ̷D̷o̷m̷i̷n̷o̷'̷s̷ ̷o̷n̷l̷i̷n̷e̷, we'll give you a free pizza t̷o̷ ̷u̷s̷e̷ ̷f̷o̷r̷ ̷a̷ ̷f̷u̷t̷u̷r̷e̷ ̷p̷i̷z̷z̷a̷ ̷e̷m̷e̷r̷g̷e̷n̷c̷y̷.

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Have someone drive you home, you're drunk.

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Hon, you've got pantyhose on as pants!

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So...a needle pulling thread?

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The NBC4 anchor talks NDE.

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Toille the Dark, Hoarder of Celebrity Delly and Didgeridoo...in the Morning.

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You need TP for your earholes?

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The inflatable T-Rex will see you now...

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EITM interviews Spencer Carbery

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Ahhhhh!

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More like stealth class, eh?

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No, well, I could hide out under there.

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This time, it's the company's holiday party.

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Ani-malpractice?

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Anchors aweigh babies.

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Newlywed advice and final thoughts.

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Scholarship, service, shells.

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EITM interviews Brad Meltzer

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Recapping the weekend...with the bride!

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Trick-or-treating with Elliot Segal...DDS?

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EITM interviews The Last Dinner Party

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(And titillating.)

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Recapping the weekend...without the bride.

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A how-to.

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$60,000 seemed like a lot of money until Mr. "Rather Not Say My Name" called in...

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(Just with a little more traffic.)

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Mass cash!

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Boner! Wet!

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🚨 SKUNK WED! 🚨

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Speak now or forever hold your peace!

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Elliot's wife wants. That. DOG!

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(When you write me.)

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Just in time for the holidays!

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Diane sent Elliot's wife a link to a dog.

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Be heard!

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Who has officiated a wedding before?

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Red curbs, wooly worms, world records, and more.

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The 14-year-old 2023 Lucas Oil Formula Car champion.

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Revealed!

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EITM interviews Bret Michaels

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The Great British fake-out?

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Spanish for mama...juana.

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SO-sour candy.

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Krysten gets to have and to hold her gown...if D says so.

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Or dry like toast?

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What do you want on your tombstone?

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Who was the most likely to be down?

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'Cause everybody knows that...smoking an e-cig ain't allowed on the line?

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Spinderella, cut it up one time...

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And mums!

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Ask Amy why she didn't ask.

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... is all persons' normal.

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Krysten, any thoughts on cryptozoology?

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Or...just you, listening.

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EITM interviews Pat McGee Band

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EITM interviews John Carlson

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Sorry, bottomless brunch rule.

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When learning about infidelity infiltrates one's grieving.

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A less dizzy Elliot is back in the studio.

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Too hard (seltzer) school.

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On Al Michaels with reigning 'Chef Of The Year' Kevin Tien.

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Also, god damn you!

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'Cause EITM is going to NOLA!

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How do they work—on a fridge?!

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Hypogonadism knocking on my door?

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I wanna run, I want to hide
I wanna tear down the...signs

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I'm not tryin' to be your part-time lover
Sign me up for that full-time divorce mediation

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I mean, as long as we're talking technology...

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Marrying and making a run for it!

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Welcome to Reading. Buck twenty-eight, please.

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ELLI IN A HELLCAT

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But don't breathe! (Because of the...piss?)

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Busch Gardens, Dollywood, and more.

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Out to lunch forever!

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Sorry, not the seventies. Your seventies.

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Mario's Wolfpack, All Things Go, Warby Parker, and more.

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A recap of the Caps' So Kids Can Starting Lineup night at Capital One Arena.

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Painful wedgie or painful melvin?

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Where are we on convicted felons coaching youth sports?

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And today, the middle initial stands for "Mobile" because she is calling from Britain!

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Candy, man?

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Is Krysten trying to convince Diane to get a pig?

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Where petty meets Puma.

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Walk in her shoes, as she walks down the aisle.

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...WITH FORMER WASHINGTON CAPITALS DEFENSEMAN CALLE JOHANSSON!!!!

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For your dad!

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Bad breath?

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EITM interviews Justin Furstenfeld (Blue October)

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Who's the smarter traveler?

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Or...meeting someone's parents.

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Did anyone wish that Elliot wasn't on ol' Rocky Top?

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EITM interviews Sean Burch

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The silver sticks of the silver screen.

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(Then happy.)

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EITM interviews Eric Hutchinson

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Like no one else.

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You'll take them to the candy shop.

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Guest chef.

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Certify this!

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From hash marks to hashtags.

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From the engagement house to her children's father's bed.

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EITM interviews Kevin Nealon

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Sunset scaries.

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This is serious
We could make you delirious
You should have a healthy fear of us

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