State of Mind - the Demos: Recent Episodes
State of Mind
State of Mind is a singer-songwriter-electro-drone-noisepop act based in Copenhagen, Denmark. Its mastermind is the Danish art rock veteran, singer, synthesizer player and multi-instrumentalist Kim Bülow Bonfils.
State of Mind's songwriting draws its inspiration from talented outsiders like Daniel Johnston and Serge Gainsbourg. The sound mixes repetitive synthesizer trakcs with krautrock elements and layers of noise and feedback drones.
The lyrics explore the complex workings of the human psyche. From the eye-opening epiphanies to the destructive thought patterns that turn us into helpless bystanders to our own lives.
Not a clue And still I only wish I knew Was this all that I could do
Turn away When I have nothing left to say Here comes another day
And in the end It doesn't matter In in the end It doesn't matter
Do I dare? It's almost like I didn't care As if I wasn't there
And there you go What happened centuries ago We have no way to know
And in the end It doesn't matter In in the end It doesn't matter
I don't know much But I know this to be true. I let myself down more than you
And when you look at me I see you wonder why I let opportunities slip by
So I apologize ,For the inconvenience Oh, I apologize
Somehow I've broken All that I could break Too much for anyone to take
And when I tried to help I only made it worse Don't hang around - I am a curse
So I apologize ,For the inconvenience Oh, I apologize
Imagine one day Just losing your way You cry out in vain Imagine the pain
Talk to a friend Forget it's the end Rewire your brain Imagine the pain
Imagine the pain All that is hidden down below The secret remains That you will never really know
When everyone's gone Go back to square one Go slowly insane Imagine the pain
You never know why You still have to try For capital gain Imagine the pain
Imagine the pain All that is hidden down below The secret remains That you will never really know
It's the end of the world as we know it But you never knew it all that well If you can't have just what you wish for You choose a lifetime in hell
So I said Hey now, can I have the last dance? Hey now, can I have the last dance? There's music in the air And we've all got blood on our hands.
When you walked the path to justice Looks like you took a wrong turn When against your great convictions Human life is no concern
So I said Hey now, can I have the last dance? Hey now, can I have the last dance? There's music in the air And we've all got blood on our hands
No comfort zone It isn't even close An adventure like this one I never chose
I look around There's nothing left at all So now when the line is dead Who do you call?
Save me Could someone save me? I wonder Does anyone Even know Just how it's done?
It won't be long Till I'm overcome by fear I could face this on my own If only you were here
Save me Could someone save me? I wonder Does anyone Even know Just how it's done?
Fooled again By the same old trick They always know What makes us tick We're fooled again
I know We should have learned by now Whatever happens Don't give in to hate But then I can't imagine how That's what we did And now it's much too late
Fooled again By the same old trick They always know What makes us tick We're fooled again
And so That is the way we start It all goes bad And worsens over time And we Supposed to be so smart Still ending up Partners in their crime
Fooled again By the same old trick They always know What makes us tick We're fooled again
You never told your secrets So no one ever heard But even from your silence I knew every word I knew every single word
The past is kind of funny The future makes you scared But now you'd like to tell me That you never cared That you never really cared
Did you ever notice That you still feel alone Did you ever wonder When will you be coming home?
We live between the moments Uncertain what they'll bring I ask you what's the matter You tell me "Everything" You tell me "Simply everything"
Did you ever notice That you still feel alone? Did you ever wonder When will you be coming home?
You didn't catch The rising sun And now you never will You missed the point And now it's gone But you still have time to kill
Let every second Last a lifetime Who can say If it comes round again Let every motion Stop forever And let me feel it Till I say when Till I say when
When every move Is much too fast You'll have nowhere to go The only way To make it last Is going far too slow
Let every second Last a lifetime Who can say If it comes round again Let every motion Stop forever And let me feel it Till I say when Till I say when
We all need directions To walk upon this earth And when we count our blessings Who can tell what they are worth?
I tried my best to tell you But the words are not my own We can come together But each of us remains alone
And we can't be sure what we're doing So we all just have to pretend And we all feel lost in the darkness Knowing that's where we go in the end
I'll be in the garden Looking at the sky I hear you ask what happens But my question is always why
And we can't be sure what we're doing So we all just have to pretend And we all feel lost in the darkness Knowing that's where we go in the end
Years ago I felt so strong And I knew How to play this game It's been a while Now the time has come For you To feel the same
'Cause you You will survive me One day you will take Everything I had Yes, you You will survive me And you should know I'm fine with that
I lost my voice And you who will be here After me Will sing a different song Should I complain Or even try to disagree You'll live to prove me wrong
'Cause you You will survive me One day you will take Everything I had Yes, you You will survive me And you should know I'm fine with that
You point the finger, you place the blame But your mistake's forever the same You throw accusations on me But I'm not the one that you take me to be I promise you now and you must understand: That's not the kind of person I am That's not the kind of person I am
I never did the things that I should Most of the time i was up to no good All that I did and all that I said Doesn't matter at all - you should just forget I'll say it again just as loud as I can That's not the kind of person I am That's not the kind of person I am
There is a secret that you'll never know Hidden away where no one will go All the bad just happens to hide All the good I'm holding inside A shadow of the invisible man That's the kind of person I am
Such a lovely party With all the laughter and the cheer We seem to have forgotten Those who can't be here
The lonely are invisible In ways we'll never know We never see them coming round Never notice when they go
Walking past a closed door You wonder what's inside Whatever could have happened That just made them want to hide
The lonely are invisible In ways we'll never know We never see them coming round Never notice when they go
He stepped into the spotlight I could hear the crowd go wild Then he looked down at me And told me with a smile
I came from nothing I didn't have a clue I was such a mess But I knew just what to do
I rose above it I rose above myself I rose above Every law of nature Anyone can do it Anyone can do it So why can't you?
Who needs talent When you have opportunities? If you fake it well You can make it just like me
I rose above it I rose above myself I rose above Every law of nature Anyone can do it Anyone can do it So why can't you?
This is all it takes To make a grown man cry You only had to say goodbye This is all it takes To make a fool of me Like I was always meant to be
There's a million broken hearts out there And we are only two It makes no sense that anyone should care But you know I do
This is all it takes To knock me off my feet While you never missed a beat This is all it takes To make me feel alone Pretend you're happy on your own
So once again I thought of you I shouldn't do that anymore I was so in love I guess you never knew I watched you walking out the door
All I have to say I never knew the way And all this time You wanted me to stay I threw it all away
Running in the human race We're all supposed to work it out But how could I ever find my place So afraid and full of doubt?
All I have to say I never knew the way And please Don't ask if I'm okay I won't tell you anyway
You know I can hardly wait And I hope that you won't mind I'm only glad that now the time is getting late And nothing left for me to find
All I have to say I never knew the way You saw me wasting every day Now I feel no need to stay
All I have to say I never learned the way And all this time You wanted me to stay I threw it all away
There was a time when you pretended not to care And then one day you found that you weren't really there When you were disappointed and did not even cry When someone left you and you didn't ask them why
You feel nostalgia for an age that's never been I can remember every place I've never seen If you promise me that all will stay the same I'll just turn around and leave the way I came And you know ...
Life takes a lot Of getting used to And in the end you get used to much more Than you really should
You can take my word or you can prove me wrong You made a lot of plans and dropped them one by one There is a special place that waits for those who dare But here is where you end up if you don't go åanywhere At all
Life takes a lot Of getting used to And in the end you get used to much more Than you really should
This wagon rolls I'd like to know This wagon rolls Where will it go?
Where this wagon's Bound to go Scares me more Than the Hell I know
I never knew The reason why But now I'm here I might as well try
I used to go To the moon and back This wagon stays On the beaten track
I used to go Till I was far, far gone Now I'm stuck right here And it's not much fun
As the wagon rolls I'm stuck right here What shall I use To drown this fear
As the wagon rolls Please tell me when Will I ever see God again?
Won't last forever One day it's gone You'd better catch it while it's out September sun
I never worried I had my fun Until I saw it hanging low September sun
It's not impressive What I have done You see so clearly in the light Of the September sun
Before I give up The question you've got Why should I give up? Well, why should I not?
Before I give up I'd like you to know You may want me to stay But please let me go
Before I give up I look at myself What could you have done? No way you could help
Before I give up For better or worse It looks like a choice It feels like a curse
Before I give up I'd just like to say It's okay It's okay It's okay
You cry for the underdog The injustice that you see You despise the criminal Who's not like you and me
We follow all the rules If not, we take the blame But where does that leave anyone Who doesn't feel the same
Feel sorry for the psychopath Feel sorry for the one who lost control Feel sorry for the psycopath Feel sorry for a broken souløö
You remember those who suffered Remember those who died Consider the destruction But did you ever try
To feel sorry for the psychopath Feel sorry for the one who lost control Feel sorry for the psycopath Feel sorry for a broken soul
You bought the leading tourist guide To take along with you And that's how you decided Everything you'd see and do
But hidden in the side streets Out the corner of your eye You could just make out the locals Living real lives.
You followed the path You did everything right But in the end you missed it all And only saw the sights
The career that you've chosen Is what made you a star You got the house, you got the wife You got the biggest car
But as the night grows darker And your eyesight starts to fade You begin to question The choices that you made
You followed the path You did everything right But in the end you missed it all And only saw the sights
You never lost your way You never lost your way
When I find myself in trouble And no help is on the way When I find I have to struggle To get through another day When the odds are stacked against me and all hope is gone When I realize there's nothing to be done
I write a fucking song Write a fucking song Wrote it for myself Now I'm singing it for you I write a fucking song
I've turned my back on anyone Who really needs my help I hope you realize I couldn't even help myself Nothing lasts forever Everything will break Please don't expect me To fix my own mistakes
I write a fucking song Write a fucking song Wrote it for myself Now I'm singing it for you I write a fucking song
Is anyone listening Is anyone listening At all? I write a fucking song
Best dream I ever had Tonight Tonight
It was a world that I could hardly recognize I faced the truth and didn't have to tell you lies I was welcome by the many friends I'd made And as I met them I was not at all afraid
Best dream I ever had Tonight Tonight
And anytime I heard somebody call my name I knew for certain I was not accused or blamed No one told me that I had to get more tough Or made me feel I was not nearly good enough
Best dream I ever had Tonight Tonight
My every urge to self-destruct was gone I felt I had not disappointed everyone It seemed to be like me was not a crime Like my entire life was not a waste of time
So good it made me feel There was no way it could be real
There’s no reason to feel bitter There’s no reason to feel low There’s no reason to remember Every reason to let go
You remember everything She did and said and think she feels to same She’s forgotten everything about you Soon she will forget your name
You think that you’re the only one Who finds it hard to face another day You should know by now That nothing stays the same for that long anyway
There’s no reason to feel bitter There’s no reason to feel low There’s no reason to remember Every reason to let go
I woke up on the floor today Still can't remember why Would if I could But I'm too bored to try You talk as if I couldn't hear You even raise your voice You talk as if we really had a choice
You think it hurts to say goodbye It's worse if you don't even try
We're in motion But we'd better take it slow 'Cause we've nowhere left to go After all
And if you found that you could change Turn into someone new opWould it be strange To stay the same old you?
You think it's hard to change your mind It's worse for those you left behind
We're in motion But we'd better take it slow 'Cause we've nowhere left to go After all
You think it hurts to say goodbye It's worse if you don't even try
We're in motion But we'd better take it slow 'Cause we've nowhere left to go After all
Here's all you threw away And this is what it's bound to bring This is where you are today You don't recognize a thing
You never told a lie But never knew if you were right Tell me - when you close your eyes Do you see the light?
Ah - ah - ah
You say you want to stay with me I only wonder why If I can't make it worth your while How can I even try When I feel confused and lost And don"t know what to do The man who failed at everything Is proud to be with you
Life has not been good to you And I just wasted mine In some way I imagine That makes us two of a kind Until we get back on your feet And that may be a while The man who failed at everything Just wants to make you smile
I'm not making plans for us I never learned to live I'm running out of money And I've nothing else to give You tell me that you love me Though I can't believe it's true The man who failed at everything Will try his best at love
Each day goes by Like the one before But not like the one before At all We'd like to think When we are here no more We'll meet somewhere and talk About before
So we pretend Though it makes no sense
Oh, how we believe In memory Oh, how we believe In memory In memory
We have it all All there ever is But still we like to think There's more than this
So we have heard Though it's just absurd
Oh, how we believe In memory Oh, how we believe In memory In memory
Lying in the dark silence all around This lonely beating heart Is the only sound
I don't want to be here Can't go on anyhow If you just stopped beating You could stop it now
Don't want this to go on Didn't even want to start Still it keeps on beating This heart - my heart
Two months in a Sunday Three nights in a row This could have been magic Now we'll never know When all that I needed Turned out to be fake Was it malice and forethought Or an honest mistake?
Could you tell me how it feels To always need much more than you can take? Did you ever wish you could Remember how it felt to be awake?
I've been waiting here for you To regret you were the one who ran away When I say we need to talk Doesn't mean that I have anything to say
Two months in a Sunday Three nights in a row This could have been magic Now we'll never know When all that I needed Turned out to be fake Was it malice and forethought Or an honest mistake?
When you've got no one else I'd like to help When people get you down I'll be around If you lose your way I'll let you stay When all is lost I'll calculate the cost
But there's one thing you should know I don't glow I don't glow I'll never glow
When it gets too much You'll feel my gentle touch When you can take no more I'll hold the door When it all falls down I'll applaud the clown If you want to die You can tell me why
But there's one thing you should know I don't glow I don't glow I'll never glow
Now you went a bridge too far You're never coming home again You know exactly where you are But never could remember when What hasn't happened yet You can't forget
Rendered obsolete Rendered obsolete
It was only there and back But you another hundred miles And when in the end you crack It never seems to be a smile And turning back You fade to black
Rendered obsolete Rendered obsolete
I don't know where I'm going. You are the road And the knower of the road More than maps More than love. (Words by Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī)
Do you remember the first time You saw the sea?
Never thought anything could be this big Never thought anything could be this blue
You sat and watched wave after wave After wave after wave after wave
Did you ever wake up feeling bold Never ever doing as you're told Do you feel like dancing in the streets Hugging every stranger that you meet
The way we should have done When we were still young
Did you ever want to get away Pretend we can do anything we say Let's go around the world in 80 hours We'll smell the coffee, then we'll pick the flowers
The way we should have done When we were still young
We had the time of our lives Just think about it Or if you doubt it Just think again
Do you ever think of stopping by? I don't think I ever heard you say goodbye Let us speak the words we left unsaid Then let me take you to my bed
The way I should have done When we were still young
Here's how to be like me If that's what you want to be
Never admit to your pain Let it slowly drive you insane Never ask for help Just fail again by yourselfl
Abandon every hope You know you'll never cope Don't believe in love Pretend that you - you can rise above
Two layers of feedback guitar improvisation turned out somewhere in between Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Brian Eno's "Music for Airports". (The title is of course a quote from T.S. Eliot)
Again I went to hell Again I live to tell It made me wonder when Would I come back again Can I come back again?
Outside my door, the sun Will shine on anyone Who still has eyes to see It's just too late for me It's much too late for me
So all this time You had to live What no one wants to feel There's nothing left You wouldn't give For any way to heal
And you try your best To change your fate Till one day you find It's much too late
There are times When it hurts To carry on And you know It's a shame To carry on
You heard them say Don't ask for much Then that's what you'll recieve When all you need Is that human touch You struggle to believe
As you try to make some sense Of what you've done All you've left to dream about Is what has gone
There are times When it hurts To carry on And you know It's a shame To carry on
When it all went wrong I never knew When it all went wrong What was I to do? I thought that I was doing fine I must have missed the signs It all went wrong That much is true
When it all went wrong I hung my head When it all went wrong I felt the dread And once again I heard you say I always run away It all went wrong But I still wasn't dead
When it all went wrong Can't recall the date When it all went wrong Was I just too late? I who couldn't do the crime Am running out of time When it all goes wrong Some call it fate
It's not me This reflection I see I know his face Now he's taken my place
Nothing new 'Bout anything that I do It's been done And he that did is now gone
I am my father I am my father Years went by and I Became my father
See these eyes You can tell I'm not nice Hard to please Never really at ease
Stone cold face Puts you in your place I seem so strong Nothing could be more wrong
I am my father I am my father Years went by and I Became my father
It's my fate To become what I hate It's my fate To intimidate
I am my father I am my father Years went by and I Became my father
I see me I don't like what I see
Serge Gainsbourg/Mick Harvey cover (music by Alain Bashung, lyrics by Serge Gainsbourg, English translation by Mick Harvey)
I envisage the hold-ups On 5th. Avenue I envisage the bomb threats On the news I envisage your make-up Throw it away Out on Sunset Boulevard Where's my car anyway I envisage trench warfare How it failed Some turbine driven robots Neither female nor male I envisage your leaving Imminent I would really like that it hurts Now and then I envisage I envisage the worst
I envisage open couch beds The odour of musk Some burns some devastation In the nucleus Some natural echoes I tampered with I apprehend the silence which howls I envisage I envisage the worst
i envisage the concerts carnivores Some slaughter some carnage On the basement floor I don't want a diagnosis by what right i envisage a remake With me in the limelight I envisage re-examining myself one on one I envisage I envisage the worst
It’s not okay to feel the way I feel It’s not okay It’s not okay to think it’s so unreal It’s not okay It’s not okay to want a better deal It’s not okay, it’s not okay
It’s not okay to do the things I do It’s not okay It’s not okay to miss the world I knew It’s not okay It’s not okay, the things I ask of you It’s not okay, it’s not okay
It’s not okay if I’m not having fun It’s not okay It’s not okay to be the only one It’s not okay It’s not okay to turn around and run It’s not okay, it’s not okay
Please accept my deepest and sincere apologies For turning out so awkward and embarrassingly strange If I thought there was a way that I could ever change I’d turn into anything but me
It’s not okay to say the things I say It’s not okay It’s not okay – it doesn’t work that way It’s not okay It’s not okay to think it’s not okay It’s not okay, it’s not okay
She said I never want to compromise She said there's nothing that I'll ever want to miss She said I never will believe their lies She said I won't be told that's just the way it is.
She's very young - you don't know when She'll change her mind, but then again:
She's right, you know Deep down inside you know She's right, you know Don't forget she's right
She said I never have to take that job She said I'll never do exactly as I'm told She said if only I don't give it up She said I'll never have regrets when I grow old
And though it hurts more than a bit To hear her speak, you must admit
She's right, you know Deep down inside you know She's right, you know Don't forget she's right
She has a dream Don't break it She has her faith Don't shake it She's got advice You should take it Take it, take it
She's very young - you don't know when She'll change her mind, but then again:
She's right, you know Deep down inside you know She's right, you know Don't forget she's right
Text by Walter Benjamin - read by Thomas Leth Rasmussen.
"Es gibt ein Bild von Klee, das Angelus Novus heißt. Ein Engel ist darauf dargestellt, der aussieht, als wäre er im Begriff, sich von etwas zu entfernen, worauf er starrt. Seine Augen sind aufgerissen, sein Mund steht offen und seine Flügel sind ausgespannt. Der Engel der Geschichte muß so aussehen. Er hat das Antlitz der Vergangenheit zugewendet. Wo eine Kette von Begebenheiten vor uns erscheint, da sieht er eine einzige Katastrophe, die unablässig Trümmer auf Trümmer häuft und sie ihm vor die Füße schleudert. Er möchte wohl verweilen, die Toten wecken und das Zerschlagene zusammenfügen. Aber ein Sturm weht vom Paradiese her, der sich in seinen Flügeln verfangen hat und so stark ist, daß der Engel sie nicht mehr schließen kann. Dieser Sturm treibt ihn unaufhaltsam in die Zukunft, der er den Rücken kehrt, während der Trümmerhaufen vor ihm zum Himmel wächst. Das, was wir den Fortschritt nennen, ist dieser Sturm."
If this hand of mine Only had a gentle touch I would move the world But I wouldn’t move it that much And I know it’s true When they say this too shall pass Make no sudden moves Everything is made of glass
Do you imagine If it’s important It cannot break? It’s a shame But have you noticed It tears my heart out To make the same mistake? But still I do
In this frozen field Break the surface where I go And the tracks I made Will be there as long as the snow If this love of ours Can endure the shock of me I would have to say It should last eternally
Do you imagine If it’s important It cannot break? It’s a shame But have you noticed It tears my heart out To make the same mistake?
But still I do declare today I could reduce the ancient wonders Of the world to burning rubble In the twinkling of an eye Oh, you just watch me You just watch me
Do you imagine If it’s important It cannot break? It’s a shame But have you noticed It tears my heart out To make the same mistake?
"Stay Where I Am" (from State of Mind's album "Miserabilism") performed live at Tjili Pop, Copenhagen, Denmark on May 3, 2014.
Over the hill I see a light That must be the place Where everything’s bright And if I go there All we be well Forever and ever And I say to myself
Better stay where I am Better stay where I am