Message to My Kids

Parenting Children Who Are Cutting: A Journey from Darkness to Light

Are you a parent struggling to understand your child's self-harm? Do you feel lost, guilty, or overwhelmed? This episode offers a lifeline.

Alternatively WATCH the episode on YouTube, click this link: https://linktr.ee/weforgivetolive

What to Expect:

Real Talk: Hosts Benjamin Norman and Maria Trusa dive into the raw and emotional realities of parenting children who are cutting. They don't shy away from the tough stuff, offering a safe space for a long-overdue conversation.
Personal Stories: Hear Maria Trusa's powerful journey as a mother who faced her daughter's self-harm and suicide attempt. Learn how she navigated the darkness, found the light, and helped her daughter transform her life.
Expert Advice (with a Twist): While not medical professionals, Benjamin and Maria share valuable insights and practical advice based on their personal experiences and spiritual backgrounds. They emphasize curiosity, non-judgment, and unconditional love.
Actionable Strategies: Discover actionable steps you can take today to support your child, including:
- Becoming curious instead of judgmental.
- Educating yourself about self-harm and mental health.
- Finding the right therapy for your child (DBT is mentioned).
- Validating your child's emotions instead of dismissing them.
- Crawling into your child's darkness and offering unwavering support.
A Message of Hope: Despite the challenges, this episode is ultimately about hope and healing. Hear how Maria's daughter, NT, turned her struggles into a mission to help others.

Key Takeaways:

You are not alone: Many parents struggle with similar challenges and feelings of guilt and inadequacy.
Guilt is a common trap: Learn how to recognize and overcome parental guilt.
It's not about you: Focus on supporting your child's journey, not your own fears or judgments.
Connection is key: Create a safe space for your child to share their emotions without fear of judgment.
Transformation is possible: No matter how dark things seem, there is always hope for healing and transformation.

Listener Invitation:

If you're feeling touched, moved, or inspired by this conversation, connect with the hosts on social media or via email.
Consider attending the upcoming RETREAT in Vermont on March 6th - 9th or the Seminar on April 4-6th in New York to immerse yourself in this transformative work.

Final Thought:

"Every conversation can be had with love, kindness, and respect. But as you said, it has to start with you. As within, so without" .*

Tune in now to start your journey from darkness to light.

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Welcome back to Message to Our Kids the Podcast, Episode 072: Embracing Darkness to Find your Inner Light.

In this engaging YouTube video, the host shares a candid and relatable exploration of overcoming challenges and embracing personal struggles to discover one's inner light. The episode captures the essence of resilience, offering insights into how to navigate life's difficulties while maintaining a positive outlook.

Join us for an enlightening episode where we delve into the theme of embracing your darkness to find your inner light. The host shares a personal narrative about a frustrating day filled with technical difficulties, reflecting on how these moments can serve as catalysts for growth and self-discovery.

Through humor and authenticity, he invites viewers to recognize their own struggles and learn to transform them into opportunities for enlightenment.

In this episode, you'll discover:

Real-Life Challenges: The host recounts a chaotic production day, highlighting the frustrations of technology and the importance of adaptability.

Embracing Imperfection: Learn how accepting imperfections can lead to greater creativity and fulfillment in life.

The Power of Beliefs: Explore how past experiences shape our beliefs and influence our actions, often leading us away from our true selves.

Finding Your Inner Light: Gain insights on how to connect with your authentic self by confronting and embracing your darker moments.

This episode is perfect for anyone feeling overwhelmed or stuck in a cycle of negativity. Tune in for practical tips on how to shift your mindset and embrace the journey toward self-acceptance.

Outline

Introduction
Overview of the day's challenges
Setting the tone for embracing darkness
Personal Story
Technical difficulties faced during production
Reflection on past experiences influencing current emotions
Embracing Imperfection
Importance of accepting flaws in the creative process
Real-time demonstration of overcoming obstacles
Understanding Beliefs
How childhood experiences shape adult beliefs
The impact of negative beliefs on personal growth
Transforming Darkness into Light
Strategies for recognizing and confronting inner struggles
Encouragement to find joy in the journey
Conclusion
Recap of key points
Invitation to reflect on personal experiences and growth

This video promises to be both insightful and uplifting, encouraging viewers to embrace their own journeys toward self-discovery and acceptance.

Join our next seminar March 8-9th, 2025 Valhalla New York, details found at www.weforgivetolive.com

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In this episode of "Message to Our Kids," Benjamin shares a model he discovered in meditation that has transformed the lives of over 100 people so far in their work inside of Forgive to Live. This model took 12 years and over $150k in investment for him to discover - and he shares it freely for the benefit of people looking to overcome negativity in their life, and for other healers and lightworkers out there to implement in their practice.

Benjamin discusses breaking free from negativity and letting go for a happier life. He shares insights from a recent seminar in New York and reflects on his personal journey of overcoming self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. Benjamin explores the concept of being "broken" and how he discovered that the answers he sought were within himself all along. He touches on the importance of valuing time, both for himself and his audience, and introduces a key concept discussed in the seminar that he believes can make a significant difference in people's lives. Benjamin also mentions the $50 billion self-help industry and the $416 billion therapy and counseling market, questioning why there's such a high demand for these services. He emphasizes the impact of past experiences on current perceptions and promises to share practical ways to apply complex ideas to everyday life.

TLDW: Read the Outline:

Benjamin shares a powerful message about overcoming personal struggles and breaking free from negativity. In this podcast episode, he explores his personal journey of confronting the question, "Why am I broken?"

Key Insights

Personal Transformation: Benjamin reflects on spending 12 years feeling like nothing he did was good enough, ultimately discovering that the answers were within himself all along.

Industry Perspective: He highlights the massive $50 billion self-help industry and $416 billion therapy market, questioning why people continue to struggle despite abundant resources.

Core Message: The podcast focuses on understanding how past pain and trauma shape our current perception of reality.

Critical Realizations

Self-Acceptance: The key to breaking free is not changing external circumstances, but understanding and healing internal beliefs.

Time Value: Benjamin emphasizes the importance of providing genuine value, recognizing that listeners are trading their precious time to hear his message.

Spiritual Approach: While running a for-profit business, he remains committed to sharing spiritual truths freely through platforms like social media.

Practical Takeaways

Recognize that negative beliefs create a cycle of self-reinforcing experiences. Understand that healing comes from addressing the root of past traumas. Embrace self-acceptance as a pathway to personal transformation.

Ready to take your LIFE TO THE NEXT LEVEL? Click here to see what we can do to walk with YOU on your journey and help you get to where you want to go, and/or watch this episode on YouTube:

https://linktr.ee/storminreverendnorman

#SelfHelp #OvercomingNegativity #PersonalGrowth #MentalHealth #Spirituality #LifeLessons #Healing

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We're back - from being in action for the last ten months running retreats. In this motivational speech, we'll explore whether embracing darkness is really worth the hype for your personal development and self-improvement goals.

Discover if facing your fears and challenges head-on can lead to true growth and success!

Where in your world can you embrace the darkness you are facing and lean in?

Be sure to like and subscribe on YouTube as we have more content coming your way.

Check out our new website www.weforgivetolive.com!

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Today Benjamin shares a heartfelt recounting of his personal journey through a difficult time which caused significant emotional strain. Faced with pressures in relationships, business failures, and deep-seated childhood trauma, he faces it all with genuine honesty and emotion. He emphasizes the constant struggle to save others when he himself was feeling helpless. The speaker's wife, an energy healer, helps him to confront his inner struggles, which uncovers a childhood pattern of repressed anger and feelings of self-loathing. The speaker also highlights his realization of the destructive pattern of trying to save others due to his own feelings of brokenness. By accepting his feelings and experiences, he notes the power of absolute acceptance and self-belief, and the importance of shared journeys in overcoming inner demons. He concludes by reiterating his mission to help others, not by saving them, but by walking side-by-side with them, providing unconditional love and acceptance. 00:06 Introduction 00:06 The Struggles of a Day 00:33 The Calling and the Pressure 01:58 The Impact on Personal Relationships 02:33 The Power of Faith and Hope 03:17 The Turning Point 05:41 The Realization and Uncovering of Darkness 06:39 The Childhood Memories and Emotional Struggles 10:33 The Impact of Emotions on Relationships 11:24 The Revelation and Acceptance 13:31 The Power of Connection and Support 18:16 Conclusion and Final Thoughts "Don't Fight the Darkness Alone. Fight Together."

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Thanks for your patience—life's been a whirlwind.

Let me dive into a recent personal journey: completing my third Spartan Ultra at Killington Mountain.

It's been a wild ride, filled with challenges and lessons.

Three years ago, my coach asked what fitness challenge inspired me, and I chose the Spartan Ultra.

Little did I know, it would lead to a deep bond with my friend Franco, as we both supported our wives through breast cancer.

This year's race was intense—cramps, early knee pain, and a fellow racer not playing by the rules.

His behavior triggered me, but I realized it was a mirror reflecting areas where I lacked honor in my own life.

A powerful lesson in self-awareness.

The race continued with strategy changes, a unique downhill running technique, and finally catching up to Franco to finish together.

It marked the end of my obstacle course racing journey.

I'm retiring to focus on spiritual mountains and guiding others through challenges.

The takeaway? Every trigger is an opportunity for self-discovery.

Look within and ask, "What is this person showing me about myself?"

"It is a sin to judge anyone by his post" - Saint Augustine

_REV.

https://linktr.ee/storminreverendnorman

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After some time away, we're back with exciting updates. Amid shifts in our Scendancy journey, we've witnessed incredible client transformations. Our approach to sharing our message has evolved, as discussed in this podcast.

A decade ago, Spartan races ignited my warrior spirit. They mirrored my personal growth journey, replacing quitting with resilience.

Overcoming obstacles fueled my confidence, leading to personal development. Fitness became my anchor, battling demons like alcoholism, and reshaping my mindset.

Then the Realization hit: I'm solely responsible for my life.

Blame vanished, empowering me to shape reality.

Takeaway: Embrace your inner warrior, shape your destiny, and expect revelations on your growth journey.

Ever felt stuck despite efforts?

Anger won't break the cycle.

Rise above negativity, choose action over blame.

Free will is power; blaming robs it.

Embrace yourself, move forward, and change your relationship with life.

In relationships, I've seen cycles of struggle. Blaming hampers change. We control our lives more than we think.

Shifted my coaching approach to impactful workshops, offering rapid transformation. Also supporting cancer-fighting couples with free seminars.

Take charge of your life. No retreat. No surrender. This is your Spartan law.

“God bestows more consideration on the purity of the intention with which our actions are performed than on the actions themselves.” - Saint Augustine

_REV.

https://linktr.ee/storminreverendnorman

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Join me on this insightful episode of "Message to My Kids the Podcast". In this special interview, I sit down with the remarkable couple, Steve and Kelly Leitch , who have navigated the complexities of blending families, maintaining strong connections, and nurturing their faith.

Steve and Kelly, married for nine years, share their unique journey of bringing together a blended family with six children.

Through the highs and challenges, they've cultivated a powerful connection that revolves around open conversations, understanding each other's love languages, and embracing their imperfections.

Discover the heartwarming traditions that Steve and Kelly have incorporated into their family life, from regular family meals to engaging in meaningful activities that foster deep connections. They delve into their strategies for addressing conflicts, stepping out of comfort zones, and embracing vulnerability in order to strengthen their relationship.

In this episode, you'll also hear about Steve's personal journey in endurance swimming and how it mirrors his approach to life and relationships. Kelly shares her perspective on their life together and how they support each other's growth.

Tune in to gain valuable insights into building lasting connections, facing challenges with faith, and prioritizing growth in your relationships. Whether you're part of a blended family or simply seeking inspiration for your own journey, this episode offers a wealth of wisdom and experiences to apply to your own life.

Stay connected, embrace imperfections, and remember that life's journey is a path of awakening.

“There is no love without hope, no hope without love, and neither love nor hope without faith.”

— Saint Augustine

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https://linktr.ee/storminreverendnorman

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Embarking on this podcast episode feels like a heart-to-heart conversation, where I hope my words resonate with you on a personal level.

From the surprising vantage point of Sin City, I'm your Reverend pondering the deeper meaning of this vibrant desert oasis. It's as if every dazzling light and meticulously crafted attraction holds a secret message for us.

Beneath the surface allure of wealth, intimacy, and excitement, there lies a common yearning – a search for fulfillment and purpose. Many of us feel trapped in the darkness, concealing our struggles behind masks of having it all together. But here's the revelation: that darkness isn't our core. There's a light within us, a spark that craves something more meaningful.

This journey to embrace our true selves demands courage. It's about silencing the noise, tuning into the whispers of our inner voice, and taking that bold leap of faith.

Nature holds the key – go, sit, listen.

I'm no preacher; I'm a fellow traveler sharing insights from the heart.

Embrace that first step, and you're on your way to discovering the life you dream of, the connection you crave, and the fulfillment you deserve.

“He who has God has everything; he who has everything but God has nothing.”

— Saint Augustine

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https://linktr.ee/storminreverendnorman

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I've been going through a rough patch lately, feeling under the weather and all. But enough about that – today, let's talk about something we've all faced: the feeling of not being good enough.

I've been there – the moments when doubt creeps in and we compare ourselves to others. Sometimes we put on a confident facade, hiding our insecurities. Other times, we let those insecurities keep us isolated, shying away from connections.

But here's the real deal: we don't have to stay in this cycle. I've been through it, and I've discovered that tapping into faith, spirituality, or a deeper purpose can transform everything. It's about shedding the masks, embracing authenticity, and finding confidence from within.

Sure, it's not an instant fix, and it takes stepping out of your comfort zones. But the journey is worth it.

Whether you decide to reach out or not, remember you're not alone in this struggle.

You have the power to change the narrative and live authentically. Stay connected, and let's journey together.

"Desire only God, and your heart will be satisfied." - Saint Augustine

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https://linktr.ee/storminreverendnorman

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These past months, we've been diving into powerful concepts for couples – almost like a spiritual armor that enriches relationships.

It's all about embodying roles:

Men holding a shield of unconditional love, a sanctuary of unwavering support in storms of emotion. This shield empowers partners to share and connect, finding solace in the embrace of love's invincibility.

On the other side, women wield a reflective sword, intuitively mirroring their partners' hearts with a strength cultivated through spiritual growth.

Yet, this journey isn't always straightforward.

Sometimes, we're not quite ready to grasp these roles. But here's the thing: there's a path towards growth and connection.

If you're intrigued by these ideas and ready to explore, reach out – our podcast is just the beginning of an exciting conversation.

Let's dive into this journey together, discovering the transformative power of embodying love and reflection.

Thanks for joining me – can't wait to connect!

"The measure of love is to love without measuring." - Saint Augustine

_REV.

https://linktr.ee/storminreverendnorman

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In today's episode, I wanted to share something personal. The recent podcast episodes have been shorter due to me soaking up the summer moments, just like you.

Let's talk about faith. This morning, thoughts about faith occupied my mind. Faith is believing in the unseen, embracing the promise that something remarkable awaits us. It's standing strong in uncertainty.

Imagine us chatting about the flip side of faith. If faith is trust, then doubt and darkness are its opposites. Here's the thing: faith is universal. It fuels our anticipation for the yet-to-come. It's the hope that lights up when we dream. But where we direct our faith matters. Choosing light means growth and unity, while unknowingly feeding negativity sows doubt.

Think about it:

Where's your faith going?

It's an active force, not just an idea. Your choice shapes your journey. As you go about your day, ask:

Where does my faith belong?

To dreams, love, and growth?

Or to fear, scarcity, and negativity?

"God does not expect us to submit our faith to him without reason, but the very limits of our reason make faith a necessity." - Saint Augustine.

_REV.

https://linktr.ee/storminreverendnorman

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"Mom handles the kids."

"Mom handles their emotional outbursts"

"Mom deals with them when they're being little sh!ts"

"Go talk to your mother if you're upset."

"Go sit in your room until you calm the f#$% down."

"I can't handle you right now - leave me alone."

"I can't stand how you're acting right now."

"I don't deal with the kids - that's her job."

"I'm going to lose my f@$%ing mind right now!"

"You're so emotional - why are you so emotional all the time??"

All of these things I've said at one point in my journey as a father. This is not an exhaustive list. This is not a badge of honor either, night after night of feeling guilty that I'm not creating the relationship I want with my children. With my sons, or my daughters.

And while it might feel good to throw a pity party for yourself in your own head, continuing the way it's always been done, just because, is a path for consistent failure.

You might ignore this post - shrug it off - say "you're a good dad" - say "you're good enough" - say "I don't need someone to tell me how to be a good dad" - say - I know you will, I've done it too.

PRIDE - holds you back from facing the dark secret you harbor in your thoughts late at night…

The TRUTH.

“I’ve failed as a father.”

“I’m a fucking terrible Dad.”

“I hate seeing the pain in her eyes when I scream at her and I know I shouldn’t be.”

“I’ve created this monster, she sits in her room and doesn’t ever come out.”

“This is NOT WHAT I WANT.”

“I’m the BIGGEST F@#$ING FRAUD on the planet.”

“I put on this show like I’m a great dad, because inside I know I’m not.”

I’ve said all these things to myself in my own mind also on my journey as a father. Hell, even when I still continue to f@#% it all up I find myself saying it to myself.

But the TRUTH listed above about the things we say to ourselves alone, is not the TRUTH.

It is the LIE the DARKNESS wants us to believe.

Because as LONG AS WE BELIEVE we’re not a good father…

(listen to the episode for the rest)

_REV.

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When will you cease using your children as tools of emotional warfare?

It's incredible how many parents completely step over this. You know, life's full of twists and turns, and I've found some pretty eye-opening insights I want to share with you, and if you're unaware of these things, then take heed, especially if you sit inside a divided Kingdom at home right now.

Hard to believe, but only a tiny fraction of people throughout history have escaped the rat race of conflict and struggle. It's a real mess, especially in relationships, and sadly, our kids bear the brunt of it. I say, let's break this cycle. Why do you continue to choose strife? Do you really want to condemn your family to the path your war is setting them on?

Well...this may be tough to read if you're the weaponizer, and if it triggers you then it's striking a chord somewhere, and hopefully, it cuts through the darkness, somewhere deep down inside of you is a kernal of love, choosing to weaponize your kids is choosing to breathe life into war over peace.

Want to hear more, then listen to today's episode, click the link in my bio to be directed to listen on your audio platform of choice.

And for the love of God and his Kingdom...peace be with you today.

_Rev.

“God’s love is unconditional. Be sure that yours is too!”

— Saint Augustine

🔥Ready to embark on an unprecedented journey of self-discovery and spiritual enlightenment? Accept "God's Challenge" and commit to an immersive 90-day experience that will transform your relationship with the divine.💫🙏

⚔️🔥 NOW is the decisive moment, dear Seeker. Your route to illumination awaits urgently at your fingertips, click this link, complete the form and you'll receive instructions via email on next steps, the challenge IS FREE for a very short period (we've gotta test some things out right?!) https://go.scendancy.com/gods-challenge-intake-2 🏰🚀🙏

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👋 In today's episode, I am joined by the love of my life, Laura. 💕🔥 Tonight, we want to continue sharing our journey through cancer.

It all started when Laura received the diagnosis of stage 1A, grade 2, invasive ductal carcinoma. While it was a shock, we felt a glimmer of hope as the cancer seemed encapsulated, sparing her from chemo or radiation. 🥺✨ Given her family's history, we decided on a double mastectomy for added precaution.

Navigating the pandemic's challenges, 😷 we faced delays, but Dr. Chung, our amazing surgeon, suggested a partial mastectomy instead.

In December 2020, Laura underwent a lumpectomy, and two additional lymph nodes were tested. It was a nerve-wracking time, 😬 but we stuck together through it all.

Next episode, we'll continue sharing our cancer journey with you. Thank you for being here with us. 🙏❤️

“Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.”

— Saint Augustine

May light always guide your path,

_Rev

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👋 In today's episode, I want to talk about something that's been bothering me. We all come across individuals who only seem interested in taking from us without giving anything in return. It's frustrating and can leave us feeling drained.🤦‍♂️

Perhaps you've experienced this because you sought approval and love that was lacking in your childhood.🧒 But here's the truth: these takers won't provide what you're looking for. It's time to establish healthy boundaries and distance yourself from them. Remember, they too need healing just like us. ❤️‍🔥

If you find yourself in relationships where you're constantly giving your all without receiving the same in return, it's time to take a step back and reevaluate. Putting in effort and receiving nothing can be disheartening. 🥺💔 Take responsibility for your giving and establish appropriate boundaries. Don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of.

Lastly, I want to emphasize the importance of healing.𓆩♡𓆪 ✨ Past experiences shape our beliefs and influence our actions. If you've experienced a lack of love and acceptance, 💗 it's crucial to address those deep-rooted issues. Seek healing and embark on a journey of self-discovery. Through this process, you'll gain a new perspective on the takers in your life. They aren't inherently bad, but lost souls in need of healing, just like you. Approach these situations with empathy and understanding.

🔥 Remember, you have the power to protect yourself, set boundaries, and seek healing. Stay strong and walk in the light. ⚡

“God bestows more consideration on the purity of the intention with which our actions are performed than on the actions themselves.”

— Saint Augustine

May light always guide your path,

_Rev

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👋 In today's episode, we delve into our journey through cancer as a couple. 💑❤️ Brace yourselves because last time, we left off right before the earth-shattering diagnosis. 📄

Picture this: Laura, behind the wheel, driving to work on a seemingly ordinary Wednesday in December. 🚘 Suddenly, her phone rings,📞 and it's the cancer center calling. With a heart full of trepidation, she answers, and what she hears sends shockwaves through her entire being—breast cancer. At that moment, her world flips upside down, and emotions surge like a tidal wave.🌊 She calls her mom in a daze and rushes home 🏠 to face the grim reality.

Meanwhile, I receive a call from Laura at work. 📞 The devastation in her voice is palpable; she can't bear to be there any longer. 😨 It's a pivotal moment, where the weight of the diagnosis collides with the challenges we're already facing. I just embarked on my entrepreneurial journey and had received crushing news of client cancellations. It felt like a one-two punch, threatening to knock us down.

✨ But here's the thing—we refused to be defeated. 🔥 From the very instant we received that life-altering news, an unyielding determination took hold of us. We made a pact, a silent vow to navigate this treacherous path together and emerge triumphant. No thoughts of surrender, only a relentless pursuit of hope. 🙏🕊️

☑️ Looking back, we recognize the immense value of support during such trying times. It became crystal clear that we wanted to be that support system for other couples 💑 grappling with cancer. Thus, our mission was born—to create a sanctuary where both partners can find solace, strength, and unwavering support. We aim to forge a community where husbands 🤵 can rise as pillars of power, ⚡ empowering their wives 👰 to conquer the darkest moments.

“God is more anxious to bestow his blessings on us than we are to receive them.”

— Saint Augustine

May light always guide your path,

_Rev

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👋 In today's episode, I want to talk to you about parenting. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Lately, I've noticed a couple of things about parenting that I wanted to share with you.

Yesterday, while walking on the beach, 🌊🌴 I saw a dad talking harshly to his young son. 👨‍👦 It was heartbreaking to see the emptiness in the boy's eyes.😔 I wanted to intervene, but it didn't seem like it would make a positive impact. Instead, I realized that some people are disconnected and lost, repeating negative patterns from their own upbringing. I hope that father can find a better path for his son's sake.

Another incident happened tonight when we decided to go roller skating.⛸️ We had a lovely moment skating together. ❤️🔥 We also faced a parenting challenge when our youngest got discouraged. Instead of pushing him, I empathized and encouraged him, sharing my own stories of failure.

⚡ Eventually, he found the courage to try again and succeeded. 👏💥 It taught me the importance of sharing our failures and showing that mistakes are part of life.

✅ Remember, as parents, it's important to talk openly about our mistakes and failures. 🙏 Letting our kids know that it's okay to make mistakes helps them grow and learn. 🌱📚💯

“Blessed is he who devotes his life to great and noble ends, and who forms his well-considered plans with deliberate wisdom.”

— Saint Augustine

May light always guide your path,

_Rev

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🔥👋 On today's episode, I want to talk about the Dark Rider of Conquest,🏇 a negative force that can enter our relationships. It's like inviting darkness into our kingdom.🏰 The Dark Rider uses criticism as his weapon. So, ask yourself:

╺ Do you attack your partner's character?

╺ Do you judge or label them?

╺ Do you use blaming, shaming, or contemptuous words?

╺ Do you make sweeping generalizations about their behavior?

If you find yourself doing any of these things, it's essential to pause ⏸️ and regain your center. Take a walk 🚶 or find a peaceful space to prevent further harm.🕊️ And if you're on the receiving end, don't engage in the negativity. Refuse to give it power. ⚡ Stand in the light of love and understanding. ❤️💡

Remember, the Dark Rider only has power if we participate in the conflict. ⚡ By choosing peace, we can bring positive change to our relationships. 💑 So, stay centered and approach your connections with love and honor.❤️🔥

🙏 Wishing you a weekend filled with love and peace in your kingdom. 🏰❤️

“Love God and do whatever you please: for the soul trained in love to God will do nothing to offend the One who is Beloved.”

— Saint Augustine

Speaking Light Over Your Kingdom,

_Rev.

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👋 In today's episode, I share a recent experience that made me realize something important.

Tonight, my daughter 👧 lost her glasses 👓 at camp🏕️ , so I drove two hours to deliver her contact lenses. As a dad, it's my responsibility to be there for my kids, no matter what. 🔥❤️

Now, let's talk about conflicts with our wives. Blaming and withdrawing won't solve anything. We need to see beyond the arguments and understand their emotions. Our role as men is to protect and defend their hearts, even in anger. 🛡️🔥

Let's be soldiers of light in our kingdoms.🏰 Our love should be unwavering and unconditional. Approach conflicts with love and understanding, holding the shield of God's love.🛡️ Don't let darkness divide your family. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦✨

🔥 Shelter your wife from guilt and assure her of your love. 🏡❤️ It's not an easy journey, but it's necessary for the relationship we desire. Protect and defend your loved ones with love and understanding. 💫

🔥 Listen to your inner voice. Embrace the shield of God's love. Be the defenders of your kingdoms. 🏰⚔️

"God's love is unconditional. Be sure that yours is too!" - Saint Augustine

Speaking Light Over Your Kingdom,

_Rev.

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🔥👋 Today, joined by my wife, Laura, we want to share a story that deeply impacted our lives during the COVID pandemic.

🔥 As we slowly emerged from lockdown, our kids faced a new school routine, alternating between in-person and homeschooling. 🧒📚 The cramped space in our small house 🏠 added to the chaos, revealing flaws in our parenting methods.👪 It was a challenging time for everyone, but amidst the uncertainty, a significant event occurred that would test our strength as a family.

During this period, Laura discovered a lump in her breast. The fear and worry were overwhelming, especially considering our family history with breast cancer. We embarked on a season of waiting, seeking medical advice, and scheduling tests. The waiting period was filled with anxiety, and we did our best to shield 🛡️ our children from our concerns until we had concrete answers. It was a time of introspection and reflection, where we realized the importance of opening up and supporting each other through difficult times. 💑✨🔥

In tomorrow's episode, we will delve deeper into this journey, exploring the emotions and challenges we faced as a family.

"Set aside time and allow certain hours to the welfare of your soul." - Saint Augustine

Speaking Light Over Your Kingdom,

_Rev.

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👋Today, Laura and I want to share a deeply personal journey—the battle my family and I faced with breast cancer. 👪⚔️

Over the next few episodes, I'll take you through the ups and downs, the fears, and how this experience shaped us. It's been a challenging yet incredible journey that brought us closer together. 👫

Every twist and turn, both good and bad, paved the way for where we are today. It's amazing how a few years can feel like an eternity when faced with a life-altering event.♾️ This journey changed us in ways that are hard to grasp unless you've been through it.

During this time, I often referred to it as "God's Forge," as if we were being molded into who we were meant to be. 🔨 ⚔️ We gained a new perspective on life and purpose. I believe there's a rite of passage for everyone, and we want to reach out to other couples fighting cancer. We understand the unique challenges you face and how it impacts your relationship.

I remember feeling grateful for the support we received from family and friends.👪❤️ But deep down, I longed for someone who truly understood. Connecting with others in similar situations brought immense comfort. Not everyone has a foundation of self-development, but that doesn't mean they can't find their way through. We all need support and understanding.

🔥Join us as we journey back to the beginning, unraveling the tale of the rise of the Queen.👑 It's a story of resilience, love, and the power of spiritual bonds.❤️ Through sharing our experiences, we hope to bring comfort, guidance, and a sense of camaraderie to all those walking a similar path.

🤝Thanks for tuning in today. Remember, you have incredible gifts within you. 🎁 Embrace them boldly. Stay tuned for the next part of our story.

"When regard for truth has been broken down or even slightly weakened, all things will remain doubtful." - Saint Augustine.

Speaking Light Over Your Kingdom,

_Rev.

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🎧🔥❤️ Can you feel it? That lingering curiosity... the burning desire to delve deep into the unknown. There is a journey awaiting us, a journey that is both intimate and cosmic. In this episode of "Message to My Kids," we traverse an unfathomable realm – the mysterious kingdom within us.

Ever wondered about the fortresses we build around our hearts?🏰❤️ The protection we think we need from the world outside. But what if I told you that the real adventure lies not outside, but within the castle walls of your own heart?

As we take a leap back to the early days of Christianity, we will discover that our spiritual insights have often been cloaked by human interpretations, like soldiers holding swords, ready to defend.⚔️ But the question we need to ask ourselves is - what exactly are we defending?

🔥Join me on this exploration as we dare to lower the drawbridge, to venture into the stronghold of our own hearts. Let's kindle the flaming heart within, illuminating our path towards spiritual awakening. Tune in, and let's redefine what it truly means to live with faith.🔥💫

Speaking Light Over Your Kingdom,

_Rev.

#spirituality #journeywithin #faith #podcast

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In July of 2021, I found myself in a tough spot, feeling the weight of my challenges. Training for a Spartan race, I realized my stress levels were overwhelming. It was a wake-up call to confront the darkness within and make a change.

So I embarked on a transformative journey, which I now call "God's challenge." I let go of escapes and embraced new habits. Now, we're launching this challenge with 18 people, offering a 90-day journey to deepen connections to ourselves and God—for free.

The kingdom of heaven is within reach, but so is the kingdom of darkness. Join us to confront your challenges and discover the light within. It won't be easy, but the rewards are immeasurable. This is your chance to step into something extraordinary.

Listen to the voice urging you to take this chance, and silence the voice of doubt. We'll fight the darkness within and heal the pain of the past. This is your call, your opportunity to join us on this life-changing experience.

Click the link, follow your heart's call, and sign up for God's challenge. We believe in you and can't wait to see you on the other side.

"O Holy Spirit, descend plentifully into my heart. Enlighten the dark corners of this neglected dwelling and scatter there Thy cheerful beams." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples, Men or Women Join our community here for free: forourkingdom.circle.so.

To sign up for God's Challenge, click this link https://go.scendancy.com/gods-challenge-intake-2

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I want to share something that has had a profound impact on my life over the past five years. It's all about persistence and perseverance—the two essential ingredients for reaching your goals. You see, most people tend to give up when things get tough.

If you truly want to create the life you desire, you have to put in the work. That means facing your inner demons, diving into the darkness, and accepting that it won't be an easy journey. Being a high performer, someone with discipline and structure, isn't for everyone. Most people choose to take the easy way out and settle for mediocrity. They'd rather spend their days on the couch watching football than pursue a life that ignites their passion and fulfills their dreams for their family.

So, my friend, it's decision time. Will you settle for mediocrity or rise up and pursue your dreams? The choice is yours, and only you can make it. If you're ready to embark on this journey, reach out to me. Let's have a conversation and figure out the steps you need to take every day to overcome the pain and obstacles that are holding you back. Remember, you have the power to create the life you desire.

" God provides the wind, but man must raise the sails." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples, Men or Women Join our community here for free: forourkingdom.circle.so

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Today, I want to share a personal story that revolves around a topic close to my heart: the pain of our past. It's about those lingering emotions and traumas we've buried deep inside, the ones we haven't fully faced or processed.

When faced with challenging situations like heartbreak or traumatic events, our instinct is often to endure and push through. We seek support from our loved ones, coaches, counselors, or therapists. Yet, if we haven't truly released the pain and emotions tied to those experiences, they can hold us back from reaching our fullest potential. They become barriers preventing us from moving forward on our journey of growth and development.

However, once we're in that darkness together, speaking more darkness won't serve us. It's time to illuminate our surroundings, to distinguish between light and dark, and to find our footing amidst the pain. Side by side, we work towards banishing the darkness, clearing the path for transformation. It's astonishing how quickly our lives change once we address the root of our pain and release the emotional weight we've carried.

So here's the deal, my dear listeners. If you feel stuck in your relationships, be it with your spouse or with yourself, if you're yearning to reach the next level in life, now is the time to reach out to me. Together, we'll enter the arena and fight the darkness as a team. I'll equip you with the necessary tools, systems, processes, and mindset to transform your life completely. When you step into the ring with me, I am by your side, wholeheartedly invested in your progress. Whether it's strengthening your connection with your spouse, improving your parenting skills, or discovering your life's purpose, I'm here to guide you spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally.

"Father, I am seeking: I am hesitant and uncertain, but will you, O God, watch over each step of mine and guide me." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples, Men or Women Join our community here for free: forourkingdom.circle.so

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Today, I want to share a message of hope and courage with you.

No matter what daunting task or new venture we undertake, whether it's starting a business, pursuing dreams, or rebuilding relationships, we face challenges. But amidst the difficulties, we celebrate every small victory.

Undeniably, the road ahead is challenging and far from easy. Starting something new is never a simple task, and many people give up before taking the first step. Therefore, I want you to honor yourself just for having the courage to begin. Taking that initial step is often the hardest part. But once you do, everything feels fresh, interesting, and exciting. With each step, your momentum grows. Walking turns into jogging, jogging into running, and running into sprinting. Eventually, you find yourself participating in an obstacle course race, fueled by your determination.

Stay committed to your vision, never give up, and never compromise your dreams. Always follow your heart. Celebrate every small victory along the way. And if you stumble, remember to pick yourself back up. When you reach your destination, take a moment to kneel and thank God for guiding and carrying you through the tough times. Thank yourself for never quitting on your soul and for fighting against the darkness that attempts to keep you small. Today, darkness has no place within you or your future. Refuse to succumb to doubt, insecurity, and fear. Embrace the light and tell the shadows to step aside.

"God loves each of us as if there were only one of us." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples, Men or Women Join our community here for free: forourkingdom.circle.so

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Today, we want to address a trap that the $10 billion self-development industry has set for those on the path of self-improvement. It's time to bypass the cycle of self-limiting beliefs and embrace true transformation.

In your quest for personal growth, you've probably encountered countless coaches, consultants, and trainers who promise to help you unearth and overcome your limiting beliefs. And while these resources can be valuable, we've noticed a crucial missing element in many of them that can save you valuable time on your journey.

Throughout our own experiences spanning over a decade, we've learned that identifying limiting beliefs is only the first step. Merely convincing ourselves that we are "good enough" or "worthy" is not enough to break free from these beliefs and achieve lasting change.

Here's the issue: even after investing in programs and implementing so-called belief overrides, we often find ourselves repeatedly triggered by the same old limiting beliefs. It's frustrating and disheartening. Shouldn't we have moved past these beliefs if we've done the work and know they're not true?

The truth is, we've discovered a vital piece of the puzzle that is often overlooked: healing the underlying pain associated with these triggers. By delving into the root cause of our triggers, we can address and heal the wounds from our past. These wounds serve as the breeding ground for limiting beliefs, and until they are healed, the cycle will persist.

Don't fall into the trap of stopping at identifying your limiting beliefs without addressing the pain that fuels them. By healing that pain, you'll experience true transformation. When you reach a point of deep healing, there's no need to rely on belief overrides because you'll simply know your inherent truth at your core.

As the Oracle said in The Matrix, "You'll know it balls to bone." When you reach this level of self-awareness and healing, you won't need to seek acceptance externally because you'll understand that you are already accepted. Acceptance is your birthright, and you'll feel it in every fiber of your being.

If you find yourself trapped in a cycle of oscillating between limiting self-beliefs and temporary overrides, don't worry. We're here to help you break free from this pattern once and for all. Reach out to us, message us, and let's connect. Together, we'll guide you towards lasting transformation that will shape the rest of your life.

"If we live good lives, the times are also good as we are such the times." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples, Men or Women Join our community here for free: forourkingdom.circle.so

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On today's episode Laura and I share a morning ritual we do together that helps us sustain our connection to each other. As You know, one of the keys to finding balance in life is discovering those moments of stillness amidst the chaos.

What I truly appreciate about the work we've done in our relationship is how Laura always holds up a mirror for me to see myself, even when I'm deeply immersed in my own experience. We're embarking on a new path together, following the calling that God has placed on our lives. It involves a lot of hard work and navigating through overwhelming feelings.

Laura and I have developed a morning ritual that has become an essential part of our lives. Sometimes, it even extends into the evening, depending on how the day unfolds.

This simple ritual, which only takes a minute, makes a tremendous difference. We encourage you to allocate one minute a day for this practice because everyone has at least that much time.

So, my dear listeners, let's take the time to nurture our connections and find those moments of stillness amid the chaos. Together, we can create lives filled with light, love, and deep connection. Keep fighting for what you believe in, and remember that you are never alone on this journey.

"Wicked men obey from fear; good men from love." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples Join the FREE Facebook group here: https://bit.ly/Couples-Join-for-our-kingdom

Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

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When I stop you and give you tidings of the future and say:

"Don't condemn your family tree."

You're probably not aware that is what you are doing...

and you're not just doing it to your immediate family, but your larger extended family—your brothers, sisters, their spouses, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents etc etc who make up your family tree.

This is something I see EVEN INSIDE MY OWN FAMILY TREE and it continues to bother me every single day.

I often don't understand why people have such a blatant disregard for the life experience of the people on the other side of the condemnation...and I am especially baffled by family members, in the same tree and forest of trees do it as well.

To the point where the family members each would show a stranger on the street more care and comfort than their own family line who they treat with contempt and condemnation.

Want to come face to face with this for real instead of theoretically or conceptually?

Go sit in a graveyard and pretend you're dead in 20 minutes and write a letter to the family member your battling with, and watch what comes up.

The thing is....

When I work with people and help them uncover their struggles, I see a pattern. Deep-rooted pain and unresolved issues from the past keep resurfacing, causing conflicts within relationships. Over time, these unresolved pains can cause division and continue to greatly increase the distance within our extended families.

The truth is, much like you didn't get a choice in the color of the sky, or where you were born...

Family is family, and in my life, there's no bond stronger than that.

Now, maybe you're listening, and you have family members you're not connecting with. Perhaps there's an ongoing conflict that you've been sweeping under the rug for years. Well, let me tell you, it's time to address it.

Because every day you delay facing those unresolved issues, you're allowing pain and darkness to seep into your own family tree.

Remember, tolerating darkness within your family means you're likely tolerating it elsewhere in your life too.

Our time on this Earth is limited, and we need to make the most of it.

Let's not leave behind a legacy of broken relationships and pain.

Instead, let's be the ones who bring light into our family, mend the fractures, and restore the love that should flow through our veins.

"It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start." - Mother Teresa

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples Join the FREE Facebook group here: https://bit.ly/Couples-Join-for-our-kingdom

Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

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Today, I want to talk to you about discernment. A few weeks ago, I touched upon this topic in one of our previous episodes, emphasizing the importance of spiritual guidance to distinguish truth from falsehood. Today, I'll take you on a journey, connecting the dots and offering you a breakthrough perspective on life.

Let's talk about the power of emotional connection, which often happens through music. We all have those songs that deeply resonate with us, regardless of the genre. They touch our souls with their heartfelt lyrics and profound meaning. It's through these songs that we create connections based on shared emotions.

However, we must be cautious when it comes to song lyrics. While they may seem to understand us, they can also trap us in darkness if we lack discernment. If we're in pain and believe we shouldn't take responsibility for our partner's actions, these lyrics might resonate, leading us to blame them entirely. But unfiltered exposure to such lyrics can shape our responses in unintended ways.

An immature person lacking self-awareness might adopt a mindset that absolves them of blame and pushes their partner away. This mindset only deepens the divide in their relationship. It's crucial to exercise discernment and not let lyrics dictate our responses.

"Music, that's the science or the sense of proper modulation, is likewise given by God's generosity to mortals having rational souls in order to lead them to higher things." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples Join the FREE Facebook group here: https://bit.ly/Couples-Join-for-our-kingdom

Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

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Wow, it's been seven years since I met my beautiful wife, Laura and she will be joining me again today.

I want to share with you a personal journey of self-awareness and growth that I've been on with my beautiful wife, Laura.

It all began with a realization that I had been chasing money, thinking it would bring me happiness and meaning. But I reached a point where I knew there had to be more to life than that. And I made a decision. I said, "I'm done. I'm done chasing money just for the sake of it. It feels empty and meaningless. I want to spend the next 42 years of my life doing what God has called us to do."

Laura's battle with breast cancer further reinforced this new direction in our lives. It made us realize the importance of supporting couples and individuals who are facing similar challenges. Going through our own journey again, reliving those difficult moments, was emotionally challenging for both of us. But it also reminded us of the strength and resilience that Laura displayed during that time. It was a wake-up call for me to be more attentive and supportive.

We have decided to document our journey and provide guidance to those who need it. Our focus will be on working with couples and individuals going through cancer, offering them hope and healing. We've experienced firsthand the darkness and loneliness that comes with this battle, not just for the patients but also for their families. That's why finding support is crucial.

"Bad times, hard times, this is what people keep saying; but let us live well, and times shall be good. We are the times: Such as we are, such are the times." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples Join the FREE Facebook group here: https://bit.ly/Couples-Join-for-our-kingdom

Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

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The game we're playing is all about finding that equilibrium between light and dark. I've witnessed it happen to both men and women. We often talk about this eternal dance between the two, like the yin and yang symbol. It represents the constant ebb and flow, the dance we engage in daily with reality. This dance defines our human experience. We navigate through life, relationships, and ourselves, constantly shifting between light and dark.

In today's world, being spiritual or expressing our beliefs can be challenging. There's a fear of being judged, labeled, or deemed crazy. People dismiss it as something made up, just figments of our imagination. And that fear has only contributed to our collective slumber. It's astonishing to realize how deeply humanity has been sedated over thousands of years.

But here's the truth—I've come to understand that the journey from darkness to light is where transformation happens. It's in the darkness that our pain surfaces, wounds from the past that need healing. By facing and healing that pain, we create space for light to enter. And as we emerge from that dark forest, we step into the light feeling freer, more connected, and deeply in love.

"The entire life of a good Christian is in fact an exercise of Holy desire. You do not yet see what you long for, but the very act of desiring prepares you, so that when he comes, you may see and be utterly satisfied." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples Join the FREE Facebook group here: https://bit.ly/Couples-Join-for-our-kingdom

Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

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I'm joined today by the love of my life, Laura. We've received so much amazing feedback from our previous episode together. It seems like you guys really resonated with our conversation. It's incredible how God is guiding us through this journey.

Today, we want to dive into a topic that's prevalent in relationships: the interplay of light and darkness. We've been discussing this theme in recent episodes because it's such an important aspect of our work with couples. When darkness creeps into a relationship, it affects everything, from communication to parenting.

In particular, we want to address a situation where a wife retreats from her husband. It's crucial for men to understand that this is not the time to become defensive. It might seem counterintuitive, but let's explore it further.

In summary, retreating may give a false sense of protection, but it only exacerbates the issues and prevents us from experiencing true freedom and authentic connections. Remember, it's not about blame but about recognizing the patterns and working together to create a united, fulfilling relationship.

"Trials and tribulations offer us a chance to make reparation for our past, faults, and sins. On such occasions, the Lord comes to us like a physician to heal the wounds left by our sins. Tribulation is divine medicine." - Saint Augustine of Hippo

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples Join the FREE Facebook group here: https://bit.ly/Couples-Join-for-our-kingdom

Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

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Today I talk about the power of unity and standing strong. These past few weeks have been eye-opening and incredibly interesting as I've witnessed the couples we've worked with navigate the challenges we've guided them through. From the very beginning, my wife and I made a decision that we wouldn't face these battles alone but together. We adopted a mantra of sorts:

"We don't fight alone, we fight together. We don't go alone, we go together."

When we stand united, our home is filled with light, and we can rise above any adversity. But if we choose to fight alone and disengage from our marriage, darkness creeps in, dividing our house and jeopardizing everything we hold dear.

Each spouse blames the other for all their problems. The darkness that separates them prevents them from coming together in the light; instead, they remain divided.

If anyone claims their life is all rainbows and butterflies, beware. Stepping into their world will reveal the shallowness beneath the surface. Without a deep connection to faith and spirituality, someone lacking faith will struggle to fight back the darkness that tears their family apart. This message is different; it's a declaration of war. I'm not suggesting we create more conflict, but we need to realize that the true war is not against our spouse.

If you're listening to this and it resonates with you, consider this as a direct message from God. This is your moment, and if you let it slip away, it will be lost forever. Don't allow your family to be cursed by darkness, and don't let your spouse fight her battles alone. You must stand by her side. That's all I have for you today.

"It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels." - St. Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship?

Don't Fight the Darkness Alone, Fight Together: Couples Join the FREE Facebook group here: https://bit.ly/Couples-Join-for-our-kingdom

Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

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Today I want to talk to you about something weighing heavily on my mind. Lately, there has been a noticeable shift in the intensity of the messages we share in public spaces, as well as within my coaching calls and personal life. This intensity stems from the realization of what truly happens within relationships. If only you could see it from my perspective, or better yet, experience it firsthand. It's absolutely chilling how dark forces work against love and unity within families. These forces are destructive and can tear apart the very foundation of a family tree.

I know this all too well because I've experienced it multiple times in my own life until I finally became aware of it. It isolated me, pulled me away from my family, and made me retreat even from my beloved children. It's fascinating how this darkness manifests in our lives. Our inner struggles reflect in our external actions, and vice versa. The devil uses this paradox to deceive us.

However, this couldn't be further from the truth, as God doesn't make us unlovable or unworthy. We are born into this world from a place of love, and that's who we are.

"My soul is like a house, small for you to enter, but I pray you to enlarge it. It is in ruins, but I ask you to remake it. It contains much that you will not be pleased to see: this I know and do not hide. But who is to rid it of these things? There is no one but you. " - Saint Augustine of Hippo

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

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Today, I want to talk to you about something deeply personal and relatable: the journey of creating safe spaces within ourselves to let our inner struggles and emotions find expression.

When I began my own path of self-development, I realized there were aspects of myself that needed attention. These were the parts that, if left unaddressed, would wreak havoc in my life. It wasn't about defeating or eradicating these aspects; it was about finding healthy boundaries and containers for them to exist and be understood.

As men, we often embark on a journey to ignite the fire within us, to awaken our true selves. But let me tell you, it's not about suppressing our anger, denying our sadness, or magically fixing everything overnight. It's not about eradicating the darkness within our relationships or expecting life to become a constant parade of rainbows and unicorns.

In reality, we often find ourselves trapped in environments that demand a facade of happiness and conformity. Everyone appears to have it together, wearing corporate clothes and plastering smiles on their faces. But deep down, we're all just putting on a show. It's exhausting.

If you're listening to this podcast episode, it's time to consider creating your own safe container—a place where you can share what's truly going on within you. As a reverend, I'm committed to getting to the core of the matter, to uncovering the pain hidden beneath the surface. I dig deep beneath the superficial corporate facade that often dominates conversations. I've witnessed men drowning their sorrows in alcohol because they can't face their reality. They're trapped in darkness, and the key to their prison lies in simply speaking the truth about their lives.

"HOPE has two beautiful daughters: their names are ANGER and COURAGE. Anger at the way things are and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

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Today, I have my amazing wife, Laura Norman, joining me, and we're having a real conversation about life, love, and parenting. Opening up and sharing our experiences isn't easy for me, but I want to talk about something we touched on earlier—being the one who loves more in a relationship.

Laura mentioned how it would be wonderful if our partners loved us just as intensely as we love them. In her past relationships, she often felt like she was the one who loved more.

In this episode, we express our desire for a deep connection and equal love from our partners, highlighting the profound impact it has on our happiness and sense of purpose. Our connection inspires us to reciprocate love and make every moment count.

We also discuss the detrimental effects of disconnection, leading to frustration and chaos in our relationship and affecting our children. We emphasize the importance of not going through life alone and the constant effort required to maintain a deep connection. We acknowledge the need to remain connected and reflective, repairing the relationship when conflicts arise.

Being married to someone and desiring a deep connection requires constant effort. Nothing is set in stone, and we are only human. Sometimes we need to repair it multiple times a day, even within the same hour. But we can't give up. Choosing to be married means constantly restarting and working towards that connection we desire.

For couples struggling in their relationships, you need to hear our story and understand that you can recreate a similar bond by learning from the systems and processes we have put in place over the years. It's about realizing that we can't do it alone and that we don't want to. We want to be together in every aspect of life—business, marriage, parenting—because we genuinely love and enjoy each other's company. Anyone can achieve this feeling; you just need to learn and implement the tools we have developed.

"In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." - Ephesians 5:28

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Men, join us inside the Free FACEBOOK GROUP Chivalry is NOT Dead here: https://bit.ly/join-chivalry-is-not-dead

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Today I want to share something personal with you. We're diving deep into the challenges of marriage and how it can lead us down a difficult path. This week, our focus is on identifying the darkness within our relationships and recognizing the warning signs before it's too late.

Many men, including myself in the past, tend to sleepwalk through their marriages. They're unaware that problems are brewing beneath the surface. I used to brush off my wife's emotions, thinking she was overreacting, and I'd find solace in distractions like video games, cigarettes, and beer. It didn't matter where we lived or what our circumstances were; I always found a way to escape.

Being oblivious to the issues, I never imagined myself listening to a podcast like this. I used to blame my ex-wife for everything, believing she was the problem. I would call her crazy and use that as an excuse to disconnect and escape. It was a pattern of avoidance that ultimately pushed us apart.

As a result, my wife stopped opening up to me about how she felt. She grew tired of always initiating conversations and trying to connect. If I wasn't careful, I would mistake the absence of arguments or problems as a sign that everything was fine. In reality, our relationship had deteriorated into a transactional, roommate-like existence, devoid of true connection.

The purpose of this podcast is to prevent such situations from occurring. We aim to reach couples before they reach this point of no return. Whether you're a wife listening and your husband is in that sleepwalking state, or if you know someone in a similar situation, please share this podcast with them. We're all about transformation and engaging in spiritual warfare, fighting against the forces that seek to divide us.

"If you keep silent, keep silent by love: if you speak, speak by love; if you correct, correct by love; if you pardon, pardon by love; let love be rooted in you, and from the root, nothing but good can grow. Love and do what you will." - Saint Augustine.

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today I want to share a personal and heartfelt message with you. See, when I talk about divorce or separation not being the solution, I'm talking about the darkness that resides within both you and your partner. You might believe that leaving this person, whom you think is toxic, a narcissist, or abusive, will solve everything. Every couple I've worked with starts by venting and unloading all the issues and problems that have accumulated over time. It's hours and hours of pouring out the pain and frustration we've kept inside for far too long.

So as you follow along with our journey, know that we are not here to encourage separation or divorce. We're not trying to lead people in that direction. We don't want you to say, "You got divorced, so what you're saying is invalid." No, that's not the case. The truth is your darkness, along with your spouse's darkness, will follow you into every relationship you enter. Changing partners won't solve the underlying issues. You'll wake up one day to find yourself in the same situation as before, feeling lost and wondering why all your relationships have failed.

So please understand that divorce and separation won't save you. They will only add to the stack of failures if you're not willing to face the darkness within yourself. Don't be afraid to confront the shadow, open up, and speak the truth. It may seem like you've processed it all with therapists or counselors, but if the same problems keep showing up, it's a clear sign that true healing hasn't occurred. It's not just therapy you need; it's spiritual healing because you've become disconnected from your soul.

If you know someone going through a rough time in their relationship, please share this message with them. Whether it's a husband shutting his wife out or a woman struggling in her marriage, they might find the spark they need to fight for their love.

I received a message from God on the beach, and it applies not just to me but to all couples out there: "Don't go alone, go together." This is a call to stand united against the forces that seek to divide us from the people we love.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today I want to share a deeply personal story with you. But before we dive in, I want to take a moment to acknowledge someone very special to me—my wife, Laura. Today is her birthday, June 3, 2023 and I just want to say, happy birthday, Laura!

Now, let's talk about relationships and the journey we all go through. You see, there are moments in life that shape us, and for me, one of those moments happened when I was just a young boy attending a powwow. These gatherings were incredible, filled with vibrant dances and a rich cultural atmosphere. It was there that I first felt a spark of curiosity about spirituality and faith, which would stay with me throughout my life.

During the powwows, there was a dance called the two-step, where girls would choose the boys to dance with. And that's when I experienced my first love. We exchanged letters and made occasional phone calls, but the distance between us made things challenging.

But things took a sudden turn. She called me one day, explaining that she needed someone physically present for her. Being in a long-distance relationship, I couldn't fulfill that role, and it left me confused and hurt. I tried desperately to reach out to her, but her mom prevented me from contacting her. It felt like the end of our story, and life moved on.

Years later, out of the blue, she reappeared in my life through Facebook. I had recently married my ex-wife, and it seemed like a tragic twist of fate. We started talking, and she revealed a painful event from her past that completely changed the truth I had known. It shifted my perspective and made me realize there was so much more to her story. If only she had shared it earlier, things might have been different.

That experience had a profound impact on me. It made me believe that I was unworthy of love, and it influenced how I approached relationships afterward. But then, my wife, Laura, entered my life. She has this incredible gift of empathy, a deep understanding of others' emotions. She broke through the walls I had built around myself, awakening a feeling of love that I hadn't experienced in years. She brought me back to life, and I'm forever grateful.

Today, on Laura's birthday, I want to honor her. She holds a unique place in my heart, and I don't know where I would be without her. So, if you know her, please join me in wishing her a happy birthday. Laura, you saved my life, and I will always cherish and protect your heart. I love you, and thank you for being my everything.

"Let us love since that is what our hearts were made for." - Saint Therese of Lisieux

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today, I want to talk to you about something that hits close to home for many of us couples out there. It's about conquering time and creating the marriage of our dreams.

We all know that life has its ups and downs. Just like the sun rises and sets every day, our relationships go through seasons of light and darkness. It's inevitable, and we can't escape it. However, what we can do is prepare for it and train ourselves during the good times so that we're ready to face the darkness when it comes knocking on our door.

Sometimes everything seems perfect in a relationship. The connection is strong, our lives are thriving, and we're creating the life we've always wanted. But then, unexpectedly, something happens, and we find ourselves thrown back into darkness. It could be a challenge with our extended family, a crisis with one of our children, or something else entirely. The darkness comes, and we must be prepared to face it.

To truly thrive, we need to master time. We need to break free from this cycle of just surviving and start living in the present, appreciating the connection and love between us. I believe that a lack of connection lies at the heart of many struggling relationships. We can't rely solely on logical discussions to foster connection. True connection comes from emotional experiences shared between two people. It's a deep, loving bond that words alone can't describe.

We have the power to rewrite our stories and let go of victimhood. We mustn't limit God's ability to heal and transform us.

"Trust the past to God's mercy, the present to God's Love, and the future to God's providence." - Saint Augustine of Hippo

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today, I want to talk to you about something personal—knowing your true identity.

Eastern traditions like Buddhism, often emphasize finding balance within ourselves. But what happens when we find ourselves trapped in the darkness, lingering there for years? Some people never even make it to this stage; they remain lost and disconnected from the possibility of stepping into the light. These lost souls may appear to be acting in hurtful or disrespectful ways, but what I see is someone who is disconnected from their true selves. This even applies to fathers who haven't been present in their children's lives. It's not that they don't care; it's simply because they don't know who they are.

So, when someone asks you, "Who are you?" take the opportunity to answer in a way that reflects how you want to be perceived. If you find yourself in the darkness, unsure of who you are, it's a chance for exploration and growth. Start by understanding who you are not, and gradually, you will discover your true self. Remember, being a human being means you have the power to change and evolve at any moment. As you uncover your identity, it will shape your beliefs and how you show up in the world.

"God loves each of us as if there were only one of us." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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I once found myself in darkness. It seemed like my whole world was consumed by shadows, and I couldn't understand how I had ended up there. Everything had been going well in my life - my business, my relationships, everything was in perfect harmony. But then, almost out of nowhere, I woke up in a place of deep darkness. It was a place I didn't want to be, a place that didn't align with the life I had envisioned for myself.

In that darkness, I felt alone, disconnected from the people I loved. It was a battle between light and darkness, good and evil, that was taking place within me. And like many others, my first instinct was to seek answers outside of myself. I searched for guidance in churches, books, programs, and therapy. I believed that the light I was seeking could only be found out there in the world.

But what I didn't realize then was that the light was already within me. I had the power to illuminate my own path, to find my way back to the light. I just needed to learn how to turn it on. I embarked on a journey of self-discovery, consuming every resource I could find that resonated with me. I immersed myself in teachings, coaching, and personal development.

Gradually, my life started to restore itself. I brought heaven to earth through the joy, fulfillment, and deep connections I experienced. It felt like a victory like I had finally reached the place I had been searching for. But just as I had anticipated, the darkness returned, stronger and more evolved than before.

You never know what God has in store for you as you listen to this message. I believe you are deeply connected to your faith and spirituality or have been away for a while, making excuses to ignore the truth that you are part of something bigger, something interconnected. Life is a dance between light and dark, and we can never escape either.

Perhaps this time, you will find yourself entering someone else's darkness, helping them discover the light within. If that's the case, remember the beginning of this journey where you were searching desperately for anything to guide you out of your own hellish situation. There is a pathway, one of many, that represents a door you can open. It will lead you to a new season of your life, where you will do the necessary work to become a warrior in God's Army of Light. The world needs you right now.

" O Holy Spirit, descend plentifully into my heart. Enlighten the dark corners of this neglected dwelling and scatter there Thy cheerful beams." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today, I want to talk about something that has been on my mind a lot lately, and I believe it's something many of us can relate to. You see, I've been reflecting on a powerful message from the Bible, specifically Matthew 15:13, which says, "Every plant my Heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots."

As I've been working with my clients and the people I serve, one topic that keeps resurfacing is the struggle with connection, especially in marriages. It's something I've witnessed and experienced firsthand. You know, when you're carrying a heavy burden, facing challenges in your relationship, it can feel incredibly isolating. You find yourself longing for that deep connection you once had with your spouse, but it seems to have slipped away.

For many men I've worked with, this lack of connection extends beyond their marriages. They feel a disconnection within themselves, as if they're drifting through life without any real purpose or grounding. They try to fill the void with distractions, escaping from the pain and difficulties they're facing. Whether it's addiction, running away from their problems, or simply feeling lost and alone, they're desperately seeking a way to navigate through the darkness.

It becomes a recurring pattern. We were created in the image of God, with the Holy Spirit within us, but somehow we lose sight of that connection. It's like we're constantly pulled between two opposing forces, constantly dancing between light and dark, good and evil. We can't escape this contrast, and it affects every aspect of our lives.

So, if you're in a place where you feel disconnected, know that you're not alone. There is hope for restoration and renewed connection. It starts with acknowledging the need for change, seeking guidance, and embarking on a journey of self-discovery. As we uproot the negative patterns and false beliefs, we can open ourselves up to a deeper connection with God, ourselves, and our loved ones.

Remember, this journey is not about reaching a destination where everything is perfect. It's about embracing the contrast. We have the power to break the cycle and not pass on these limiting beliefs to future generations. It starts with us, stepping out of victimhood and embracing a willingness to explore and seek. You have a pathway forward, my friend.

"Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe. - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today, I want to dive into an interesting topic that came up recently thanks to a friend of mine. They shared a quote with me, jokingly asking if it sounded like something I would say in a sermon. As I read it, I couldn't help but see the flawed logic in it.

The quote suggested that the moon is more useful than the sun because it gives us light at night when it's dark, while the sun only shines during the day when it's already bright. Well, obviously, I don't agree with that reasoning. The sun is what makes it bright outside in the first place. But as I pondered further, I realized there was a story hidden within those words.

As I continue on this journey of delivering my message, I've come to accept that not everyone will connect with it. And that's perfectly fine because the impact of my words on those who do resonate can make a significant difference. While I may not always hear directly from listeners, I've learned that the effects of my message can ripple through unexpected channels, reaching people I never even knew were listening.

So, the first lesson here is to keep communicating, even if your message doesn't reach everyone. Embrace the fact that it won't resonate universally and focus on the impact it has on those who truly need to hear it. Remember, the absence of feedback doesn't mean your message isn't making a difference.

In my own journey as a parent, I've realized the value of having friends who challenge my perspectives and offer different viewpoints. These friends are like true brothers, and I deeply appreciate their ability to make me see beyond my own limited viewpoint. It's crucial to surround ourselves with people who don't always agree with us but provide us with hard truths and different perspectives.

So, as you navigate through life, remember to embrace the diversity of opinions and perspectives around you. Cherish the friendships that offer you new ways of seeing the world. And most importantly, keep sharing your message, even if it doesn't resonate with everyone. The impact you have on those who connect with it is what truly matters.

"There is no better proof of friendship than to help our friends with their burdens." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today I want to have a personal conversation with you about natural talents, gifts, and abilities.

When I first embarked on this journey with the people I work with, we started by assessing their strengths. It was fascinating to see how most individuals, including myself, initially react to the results. We often find ourselves nodding in agreement, recognizing the talents that are already familiar to us. It's comforting to have our existing knowledge validated.

It's not uncommon to connect with individuals who share a few common talent areas. And that's great! When we review the results, we focus on the top 10 and bottom 10 talents. It's important to note that we don't invest time in developing talents that fall at the bottom. Why? Because according to strengths-based psychology, dedicating energy to strengthening weaknesses often leads to mediocrity at best.

The goal is to transform our talents into elite strengths—performing at a level that surpasses expectations. Anyone attempting to develop a weakness that happens to be a strength for me would struggle to reach the same level of proficiency. They would burn a lot of energy because executing tasks in our areas of weakness requires immense effort.

So, today, I invite you to reflect on your own strengths. What are you naturally good at? What comes to you almost effortlessly, as if it's second nature? Take some time to consider these areas and how they contribute to your overall fulfillment. Are you currently utilizing your natural talents enough in your life? Do they bring you joy and satisfaction?

If you find that you're not incorporating your natural talents into your life as much as you'd like, it may be time to explore how you can leverage them more. By doing so, you can create a happier and more fulfilling experience in your relationships, career, and personal life.

"Whatever skills I have acquired, whatever I have been given, I place them in your service." - Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today I want to talk about something personal and close to my heart: inheriting limiting beliefs from our parents.

First things first, let's talk about my own family background. Unlike some others, I didn't grow up in a broken family. My parents are still happily married, and I didn't witness them arguing or any kind of physical violence. From my father, I inherited something truly valuable: the belief that chivalry is not dead. You know, I recently realized that this message of respect and honor towards women runs deep in our family history.

Watching my dad stand by my mom's side, through thick and thin, taught me so much about what it means to be in a loving and committed relationship. His sense of humor, his dedication, and his expertise in sales all shaped my understanding of how to build strong connections with others. He became my role model, and every relationship I've had in my life has been measured against the gold standard he set.

On the flip side, I've also witnessed many men who come from broken homes or challenging family backgrounds. Some grew up without a father figure or experienced abuse within their families. It breaks my heart to hear these stories. When we're raised in such environments, it's hard not to inherit the models our parents unknowingly pass on to us.

If we haven't put in the work to better ourselves, we might not even realize that we're living by our parents' limiting beliefs. They didn't provide us with an instruction manual on how to navigate relationships or be the best versions of ourselves. We're left to figure it out on our own. And let me tell you, it's not an easy journey.

We need to engage in introspection, analyze our beliefs and experiences, and identify anything that doesn't belong within us. Releasing this trapped energy creates space within us, allowing us to create new beliefs aligned with our true selves as intended by God. However, the real challenge arises when we must rewrite the neural pathways in our brains, which have been conditioned to respond in certain ways to specific situations. Dark forces will try to tempt us back into the same destructive lies, convincing us that we are unworthy, unloved, and not accepted. They will tempt us to prove ourselves right by seeking out situations that reinforce these negative beliefs.

That's why it's crucial for you, after hearing this message, to take stock of your life. Pay attention to the repetitive patterns and situations that keep occurring. It's a sign that God is trying to show you something, and you need to explore it further.

“I will plant my feet on that step where my parents put me as a child until self-evident truth comes to light.”— Saint Augustine

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today we're going to talk about a topic that hits close to home: providing is not enough. I've seen this struggle in the men I've worked with over the years, and I've personally fallen into the same trap.

Let me take you back to my own experience. I met the love of my life, we built a relationship together, got engaged, and decided to get married. We were starting out, and income was a concern. We didn't have enough to create the life we wanted. In those early stages of marriage, we were focused on building a future together, which meant generating income. Relationships today come in different configurations. It could be the traditional setup where dad is the breadwinner and mom takes care of the kids or works part-time. Or it could be both parents pursuing careers or even a scenario where dad stays at home while mom is the breadwinner. The possibilities are endless.

You know, I've come to realize that being self-actualized means being truthful and accepting myself and others exactly as we are. I've learned that I can't convince or change anyone, as people will make their own choices and live with the consequences. It's a hard truth, but it's the reality. Of course, for my loved ones, I offer guidance, care, and share my beliefs to support them on their journey. But when it comes to the rest of the world, I've come to understand that everyone is on their own path, regardless of where they currently stand.

For me, I've always felt called to be a great father of humanity. This calling has been with me since before I was born, as my mother wrote me a letter shortly after my birth, recounting how God revealed that I would be a leader of mankind. Discovering this letter a couple of summers ago reaffirmed my purpose and strengthened my resolve.

Self-actualization is also about growth and self-discovery. It's about constantly striving for mastery and deeper experiences in relationships with our spouses, with God, and in serving others. It's not about anything external—it's about uncovering what we need to learn to create success, value, and impact as we actively shape the world.

"This is what marriage is all about - Man and woman walking together, wherein the husband helps his wife to become ever more a woman, and wherein the woman has the task of helping her husband to become ever more a man." - Pope Francis

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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I wanted to share a saying that my grandfather once told me before he passed away. It really struck a chord with me and made me think deeply about its meaning. He said, "I have never met anybody in my life who's had to use the eraser end of the pencil more than you."

You see, a pencil has two ends—the writing end and the eraser end. When my grandfather said that I used the eraser end a lot, he wasn't criticizing me. He was actually appreciating my willingness to make mistakes and learn from them. He understood that growth and progress are impossible without encountering failures along the way.

I've always been open with my children about the importance of embracing mistakes and not fearing them. Unlike some parents who put immense pressure on their kids to achieve perfect grades, I wanted my children to approach learning with a growth mindset. I didn't want them to associate a wrong answer with personal failure or disappointment from me.

So, if you're a dad or anyone listening to this podcast, and you find yourself hesitant to make decisions or paralyzed by overthinking, remember the lesson my grandfather taught me. Don't be afraid to use the eraser end of the pencil. Embrace your mistakes and failures as opportunities to learn and grow. Take bold steps towards your goals, knowing that missteps are part of the journey.

So, let's all go out there today with courage and resilience. Let's not be afraid to use the eraser end of the pencil.

"Waste time with your children, so that they can realize that love is always free." - Pope Francis

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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I want to have a heart-to-heart conversation with you today about relationships. The world we live in is filled with complexities surrounding gender, sexual orientation, and personal choices. It can be incredibly confusing, especially if you're a man like me, married to a woman, and finding that your marriage isn't working as you hoped.

When we find ourselves in such a situation, it's natural to seek answers and guidance. We might consider therapy, marriage counseling, or exploring various coaching programs and books. The internet offers countless resources, but navigating through it all can be overwhelming. It's as if our marriage is on a troubled path, and we urgently need to change course.

I get it—it's frustrating and uncomfortable to feel lost and dependent, constantly seeking answers and solutions. But dwelling in that mindset only drives a bigger wedge between you and your wife. Instead, we must recognize that feminine energy flows differently, often without a clear structure or reason. What works for us as masculine men, seeking processes and logical steps, doesn't necessarily apply to our wives.

Remember, it's not about expecting everything to be equal or mirroring workplace dynamics. While women should absolutely have equal opportunities and fair treatment in professional settings, relationships operate differently. Our feminine partners desire a husband who embraces his masculine energy, fights for the relationship every day, and understands that their feminine energy brings unique qualities and perspectives to the partnership.

Going to war for her means taking responsibility and initiating acts of repair. It means standing in the ring with her every single day, regardless of how she feels, and loving her unconditionally through it all. I won't lie to you, it's not easy, and it only gets tougher as you progress. Yet, the more you invest in this endeavor, the deeper your connection will grow, as she continues to test your love for her. Your love must be boundless, unbreakable, and unaffected by anything she says or does. Embrace this mindset, and watch as it begins to revitalize your relationship, building a new and brighter future together.

If we want a better world, that would be a peaceful home and not a battlefield, we all need to do a lot more for the dignity of each woman. - Pope Francis

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today I want to have a heart-to-heart with you about what it means to be a modern-day minister. This topic has been on my mind lately as I've been on my own faith journey. I've become acutely aware of something specific that I feel called to work with: men. Yes, I work with dads, husbands, moms, couples, and families too, but my focus has been on helping men navigate their spiritual paths.

You see, I've had my own share of struggles and doubts. I used to be deeply involved with the Catholic Church, but I reached a point where I felt disillusioned. What I've come to realize is that the essence of Jesus' message was not about being worshipped as the Son of God. It was about awakening to the fact that we are all children of God. The Holy Spirit resides within each and every one of us, and that includes me and you. I don't consider myself unique or special in this regard. I don't claim false modesty, but rather a deep understanding that we are all vessels of God's Spirit.

My journey has brought me to the realization that there is a disconnect between the institutionalized versions of Christianity and the deeper truth of following Jesus. Jesus came to model a life connected to God and the Holy Spirit within us. He challenged the prevailing doctrines and religious practices of his time.

I want to emphasize that I'm not here to wage war against the Catholic Church or any other religious organization. I acknowledge the positive aspects and the immense scale of the Catholic Church, which spans across the globe.

The most important thing I want you to take away from today's message is that God is within you. You don't have to go searching outside.

“It is better to be a child of God than the king of the whole world.” – St. Aloysius Gonzaga

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today, I want to share a personal story with you. It's about a race I recently participated in, and it taught me some valuable lessons that I believe can apply to various aspects of our lives.

So there I was, standing on Killington Mountain, ready to take on the Spartan Ultra race. It was a pivotal moment for me because I had failed to finish this race in the past, and I was determined to change that. As the sun was setting, I made it through the cut off on the side of the mountain, and a surge of disbelief and gratitude filled me. I couldn't believe I was still in the race after thinking I was done.

As I continued on the trail, I met another runner who had also been enduring the challenges of the race. We formed a bond, silently supporting each other through the darkness. But as we approached a series of daunting obstacles, my companion expressed doubt about finishing. His words echoed in my mind, tempting me to give up too. However, in that crucial moment, I made a firm decision. I refused to quit. I knew that I had come too far and invested too much effort to back down now.

I reached the sandbag carry where my battle buddy and friend were waiting for me. We cheered each other on, and with the obstacles behind me, I climbed the final rig, overcome with emotion and gratitude. Tears streamed down my face as I crossed the finish line, feeling an immense sense of accomplishment. I realized that I had never lost faith throughout the race, and it was this faith that carried me through.

Reflecting on this experience, I discussed it with my wife, who had believed in me all along. We acknowledged the power of faith and conviction in our lives, drawing parallels to her own journey battling cancer. The experience reinforced our belief in the strength given to us by God.

In a recent turn of events, I faced a significant setback in my career the night before my ordination as a reverend. Despite this challenge, I continue to run and train, holding onto faith and conviction, just as I did during the race.

This journey has taught me the power of unwavering belief and trust in God, reminding me that we are all capable of overcoming obstacles when we have faith and conviction in our hearts.

"Never ever give up on hope, never doubt, never tire, and never become discouraged. BE NOT AFRAID." - Pope Saint John Paul II

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today I want to share a personal story with you. It's about my journey with fitness, overcoming obstacles, and finding a deeper connection with God. So let's dive in.

Fitness has been such a significant part of my life for the past 12 to 15 years. It all started with my first Spartan Race, the Spartan Sprint, over a decade ago. I remember feeling incredibly nervous before that race. I mean, it was just three miles, but there were obstacles everywhere. I had trained hard, even joined a fitness program to learn the proper techniques for overcoming the various obstacles. We attended multiple training sessions before attempting the race. And let me tell you, it wasn't easy.

Over the years, fitness has become a central aspect of my journey. It's not just about staying in shape; it's about striving for high performance in all areas of my life. The lessons I've learned through fitness have had a profound impact on my relationships, my work, and my spiritual connection. There's something special about those long training runs when I feel a deep connection to God, receiving guidance from the Holy Spirit. It's where I find solace and seek counsel for the challenges I face.

Take care of your spiritual life, your relationship with God, because this is the backbone of everything we do and everything we are. - Pope Francis

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today, I want to discuss something that I find truly fascinating and thought-provoking. It's about the world we live in and how everything we encounter is shaped by agreements. It's crazy when you stop and think about it. All the structures, systems, and even the smallest details we take for granted have been invented by someone and agreed upon by others.

You see, we're born into a world filled with pre-existing structures, from the language we speak to the organizations we interact with. Whether it's the rules of the road, the design of everyday objects, or even the laws that govern us, they all exist because people agreed they should. It's mind-boggling to realize that our entire observable reality, the things we can touch and experience, is based on these agreements.

Remember, everything around you has been invented by someone. You don't have to blindly agree with things simply because they exist. You have the freedom to voice your opinions, express your feelings, and stand up for what you believe in, even if nobody else agrees. The world is a product of agreements, and you can choose whether or not you want to align with them.

So, take a moment today to reflect on the agreements you've been implicitly accepting. Are there circumstances in your life that you're tolerating without truly agreeing with them? It could be within your family, your business, or any other aspect of your life. Recognize that you have the power to change those situations, to voice your disagreement, and to make a difference.

Don't be afraid to step out of the crowd and express your individuality. Remember, everything in this world is made up, and you have the ability to challenge and reshape it. Embrace your freedom of choice, and don't let the fear of going against the grain hold you back.

"Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on Earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be than for them by my Father in Heaven." Matthew 18:19 Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today, I want to dive into a topic that's been on my mind lately: God's plan for our lives. It's something I've been actively exploring and trying to understand in my own journey of faith.

Every interaction, every conversation, every decision we make leaves a mark on the tapestry of existence. God's plan accounts for all of it. You are an infinite reality, and your choices matter. You co-create with God in this journey of faith. No matter what decision you make, God is with you, and His plan encompasses it all.

Think about the freedom and peace that comes with knowing this. You have the power to choose your path, and God has already accounted for it. Your decisions can influence not only your life but also the lives of countless others in different universes. It's truly awe-inspiring when you consider it from this perspective.

I'll be continuing to explore this concept further, seeking connections and insights from others who share similar beliefs. But for now, I want you to take away this powerful message: you are free to make choices, and God's plan embraces every possibility. Find peace in knowing that no matter what path you take, God is by your side.

Remember, wherever you go today, know that God is with you. Until next time, take care.

"To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible." - St. Thomas Aquinas

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today I had the pleasure of welcoming my dear friend Gordon as a special guest.

We delved into various topics, including Gordon's faith journey and how we first met.

Our paths crossed five years ago when we became part of a mastermind group. We were grouped together based on our geographic location, and since then, we have shared many experiences, including attending a life-changing mastermind event in San Diego. Gordon and I have been there for each other as we've navigated through life's ups and downs.

During our conversation, Gordon opened up about a dark period in his life when he contemplated suicide, despite seemingly having it all. He felt trapped, empty, and unfulfilled, but our connection through the mastermind group brought about a transformative shift.

Gordon shared the importance of addressing our traumas and not suppressing them, as they can affect every aspect of our lives. Through healing and self-development practices, he found a sense of self-worth and embarked on a journey of self-discovery. We discussed the profound power of love and its role in our lives, as well as the impact our beliefs and experiences can have on future generations.

"The whole journey of life is a journey of preparation... - to see, to feel, to understand the beauty of what lies ahead, of that homeland towards which we walk." - Pope Francis

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

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Today, I want to dive into a topic that's close to my heart and I believe it will resonate with all of you who are listening. We've been discussing the importance of family, connection, spirituality, and what it truly means to live a meaningful life. I want to share something with you today that might be new and eye-opening for many of you.

Throughout my journey and studies, I've come across a philosophy that deeply influences the work I do with parents, helping them navigate their roles and relationships. It's a philosophy that draws parallels to a popular movie series called "The Matrix." Personally, those movies had a profound impact on me, especially when Trinity approached Neo in the nightclub and spoke about seeking answers and a deeper connection.

For many men I've worked with, they too realized there must be more to life and their relationships, especially when they felt a lack of connection with their spouses. The Matrix serves as a powerful metaphor for the human experience on this planet. While we may not be physically plugged into a machine as portrayed in the movie, there are striking parallels to the way we live our lives.

We find ourselves born into a world that was not of our choosing. We have no control over our birthplace, our parents, or the societal systems that shape our lives. We navigate this world, learning to interact with its rules, structures, and hierarchies. Our primary means of connection with others is through language, which we inherit rather than create.

Language holds incredible power, yet we often overlook its impact. It's astonishing how easily we can be careless with the words we use, both when communicating with others and in our self-talk. Negative self-talk can dominate our thoughts, undermining our confidence and self-worth. It's a constant stream of criticism, doubt, and self-judgment.

So, my invitation to you today is to start paying attention to your words, both in your self-talk and in your interactions with others. Notice how they shape your thoughts, emotions, and relationships. Choose to use language that uplifts, encourages, and fosters connection. By doing so, we can break free from the metaphorical machine we were born into and create a more authentic and fulfilling life for ourselves and our loved ones.

Thank you for joining me on this personal journey of reflection and growth. I look forward to exploring more topics together in future episodes.

“A life not lived for others is not a life.” - Mother Teresa

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io

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Today is a really special day because it's Mother's Day 2023. As I sit here behind the mic, I can't help but reflect on the incredible journey of motherhood. It's a journey filled with ups and downs, and I want to take this time to honor and appreciate all the moms out there.

You know, Mother's Day is just one day out of the whole year, but it should be a reminder that moms deserve recognition every single day. Being a mom is often a challenging and underappreciated role. Sometimes, dads may not fully understand the depth of what it means to be a mom and all the things you have to deal with. So, I want to acknowledge that being a mom can sometimes feel like a thankless job.

But here's the thing: this podcast is here for you. You can come back to it anytime, anywhere when you're feeling down and in need of a pick-me-up. Get ready to laugh, cry, and maybe even get a little frustrated as we cover the many scenarios and challenges that moms face.

I really hope that today's message resonated with you. It's important for me to make sure you feel acknowledged and recognized for everything you do as a mom, day in and day out. Being a mom can often feel like a thankless job, but please know that your efforts do not go unnoticed.

With that said, we're going to wrap up this episode here. Moms, Happy Mother's Day to each and every one of you. We'll catch you on the next episode of "Message to My Kids" podcast. Thank you once again for all that you do.

“The loveliest masterpiece of the heart of God is the heart of a mother.” - St. Thérèse of Lisieux

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io

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Today, I want to discuss something interesting with you, my fellow brothers, as we embark on the journey of becoming real men. Being a man is more than just physical attributes like height or weight. It's about being fully alive, present, and connected to our passion and purpose. It means pursuing a life on fire, embracing our emotions, and not getting stuck in a state of perpetual boyhood. I'm talking about men who are ready to make a transformation.

This transition usually happens when a marriage starts breaking down and things don't go as planned. We may initially try to change ourselves, making promises and seeking guidance from our partners. However, this approach rarely works. Our wives shouldn't have to tell us what to do to make them happy or list all the changes we need to make. They already see the potential within us, the man we can become. The problem lies in our own self-perception, clouded by external influences and personal baggage. To reach our fullest potential as men, we need to show up authentically, exactly as God created us.

When men awaken to this reality, they begin doing the work, delving into their emotions, and discovering their true selves. Initially, this process may involve uncovering deeper feelings beyond surface-level anger. We start exploring our emotions and connecting with our partners on a more profound level. This flood of understanding reveals how we've been treating our wives and paves the way for positive change. We become alive, shedding the layers of rust that held us back, and begin moving, speaking, and connecting in ways we never have before.

So, if you find yourself in the recovery phase, striving to rebuild trust and reconnect with your wife, remember that it's a marathon, not a quick fix. You're navigating uncharted territory as a transformed man, and it will take time for her to fully embrace the new you. She may hold onto the past version of you for a while, and your job is to keep showing up consistently as the man you've become. Be there for her, support her, and fight for her heart every single day. She may express anger or frustration, but that's part of the process. Your unwavering presence and love will eventually break down her walls.

Today, I want to leave you with a simple question: What action can you take today to show your wife that you love her? Don't wait. Take that step and let her know that you're committed to being the man she wants you to become.

"In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church." - Ephesians 5:28-29

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io

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I want to talk about something that has been on my mind lately, something that I think is important for all of us, including my own children. Life has its ups and downs, and there are times when we need to understand what's happening around us. That's where discernment comes in.

Discernment has become a significant part of my life in the past few weeks because I've experienced some incredible changes. These changes are ones I've been praying for, but they also require me to realign with my true purpose and calling.

At that time, I realized that my present situation wasn't working because I wasn't honoring God's call. I had been avoiding my true purpose, finding excuses, and inviting chaos into my life by pursuing things that weren't aligned with my calling. Most of my time was consumed by work that I was good at but wasn't truly fulfilling.

Then, unexpectedly, my friend Brian, whom I have a deep bond with, called me to have a difficult conversation. He realized that he was holding me back from my higher calling, and we needed to part ways professionally. It was a tough moment, but I valued our relationship above all else.

This experience led me to reconfigure my path, and together with my team, we quickly built coaching and training programs that aligned with my true purpose. We faced another challenge when my largest video production contract was terminated right before my ordination weekend, causing significant financial strain. It hurt deeply, but I refused to dwell in resentment or despair. I didn't let circumstances define me. Instead, I chose to see the human being behind it all, focusing on the importance of relationships. I expressed gratitude for the opportunity to work together and acknowledged that our paths were diverging. I learned that discernment also involves choosing the right people to surround yourself with, people who live by their values and align with who you are as a person.

So, I want to leave you with this message: Take a moment to reflect on your life. Are there any situations where you're holding onto victimhood? What are you unwilling to let go of?

“Do not conform yourself to this age…that you may discern what is the will of God.” - Rom 12:1-2

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io

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I wanted to share something with you today that's been weighing heavily on my heart. The topic isn't awesome at all, in fact, it's quite tragic. I've been having conversations with men from all walks of life - business owners, police officers, soldiers, everyday men - and there's a common theme among them.

They're struggling in their marriages and relationships, and the problem is prevalent throughout our country. Words like "narcissism" and "gaslighting" are being thrown around, and many men are being labeled as such by their wives. It's sickening to hear women say that they don't need men anymore, that all they need is a donation of sperm from a sperm bank. If you're listening to this and your wife has called you a narcissist or accused you of gaslighting, then this is a wake-up call for you.

The problem has everything to do with men not showing up as emotional, feeling, and thinking beings. We were raised to believe that emotions are weak, and it's costing us our marriages and relationships. I understand this because I lived it. I was a boy trapped in a man's body, and it cost me my first marriage. If I had known how to share my feelings and experiences in a way that invited connection, things may have been different. I urge you to take a moment to reflect on this and think about how you can show up differently in your relationships.

I understand what you're going through because I've been there myself. When you don't know who you are, it's hard to stand on your own two feet, speak up, or feel worthy. You're constantly seeking validation from others and trying to please everyone around you. It's time to wake up and discover yourself.

You may have gone to school, gotten a degree, and have a career, but that's not who you are. You need to discover your true self and be authentic in your relationships. You need to be a man of honor, fighting for your wife and doing whatever it takes to connect with her. It's time for a new generation of men who lead their lives with faith and who are connected to who they truly are.

It's easy to blame your wife for the state of your relationship, but it's not her fault. It's your responsibility to turn things around and connect with her on a deeper level. She's in this place because you didn't connect with her, and you put her in a box where she's managing everything, including the kids' emotions, and not being heard or understood. It's time to step up and be the man that she needs in her life.

Living together is "an art, a patient, beautiful and fascinating journey..... which can be summarized in three words: please thank you and sorry." - Pope Francis

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io

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Today is a special day for me. I just wanted to share something personal with you all. About a week ago, I completed my ordination and became a Reverend. Now, you might be wondering, what does that really mean? Does it mean that I am now holier than thou? No, not at all. To me, this title means that I have made a commitment to my faith and to my journey. It means that I have decided to dedicate my life to ministry, to spreading the message that God has given me to the world.

Have you ever felt like there's something holding you back from sharing your deepest beliefs with the world? Maybe you're a business owner like me, and you have faith in God, the universe, or some other force that drives you forward. You pray in quiet moments for guidance and support, but when it comes time to lead your team and speak to the world, you hold back. You're afraid of being judged or misunderstood, so you keep your faith hidden in the shadows.

I know how that feels because I've been there. I used to think that I had built everything in my life by myself, with no help from anyone or anything else. But the truth is, I know deep down that God was there with me every step of the way. In those quiet moments of prayer, I felt his presence and heard his voice guiding me.

I know that everyone's journey of faith is unique and personal. We each have our own experiences and beliefs that shape us. But I also know that so many people, like my peers in business, are afraid to speak openly about their faith. They wonder why things aren't working out for them, why they feel lost and alone in the darkness.

That's why I want to encourage you to embrace your faith and practice it daily, in whatever way feels right for you. Write down the messages and visions you receive, even if they don't make sense at the time. Trust that someday, they will come together and reveal a greater purpose for your life.

And now, 10 years later, here I am. A Reverend, a minister, and most importantly, a person who has found their faith and their purpose. It hasn't been easy, but it has been worth it. I hope that my story can inspire you to find your own path, whatever it may be.

Taking a leap of faith can be scary, but I believe that every time we do, God is there to catch us. So don't be afraid to speak your truth, to share your beliefs with the world. Embrace your journey of faith and see where it takes you.

"We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io

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Today's topic is something that's been heavy on my mind lately, and I want to share it with you all. It's a quote that's been making the rounds: "God doesn't call the qualified, God qualifies the called." I posted it on my Facebook account yesterday because I've been dealing with some difficult emotions within my family and personal life. Balancing my family business and being there for my children and wife has been a challenge, but I know we can get through it because God created us to thrive, not just survive. When we overcome our lower needs and start to see ourselves as God created us, we reach self-actualization, where our focus turns to serve others. Everyone's journey with God is unique, and it's important not to compare our purpose to others. Our calling comes from small, quiet moments that bubble up from within us. So, let's focus on living a life of service and doing what we feel called to do.

I used to think that I wasn't qualified to guide families in creating multi-generational love and connection. I had gone to college several times, but I don't have a college degree. I was worried about not being good enough, being an imposter, and my past. But I followed my calling and began working with families. Within a couple of weeks, they could see the changes in themselves and how they had been showing up at home. I kept going, and people were getting value out of what I was teaching and training on. I was seeing them connect with the people they care about, and I just kept going. Everything I've been through in my life is my qualification, and who I am as a person is my qualification. I'm qualified because I've been called to do what I do. But it wasn't easy. Two summers ago, my wife was in the middle of chemotherapy treatment for cancer, and it was a challenging time. I remember sitting on the beach, asking God what it was going to take for me to have that life. The answer I got was everything. And so I entered into God's Forge, and he continued to work through me. Every coaching call I've taken with the people I work with, every training I put on, is just God working through me. And now, my prayers have started to shift.

"Together let us implore the grace to accept this call with joy and to join in bringing it to fulfillment." - Pope Francis

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io

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Today's topic is one that's really important to me. It's something that I believe in so strongly that I want to pass it on to the next generation. I call it "Chivalry is not Dead." Now, I know it might sound a bit old-fashioned, but bear with me. In this episode, I'm speaking directly to all you men out there – husbands, fathers, boyfriends – who want to be the best possible partners to your significant others.

I've been thinking about chivalry since I was a teenager. In fact, when I was in high school, I had a knight in shining armor on one side of my class ring with the words "Chivalry, why?" above it. Even then, I knew that I wanted to be the best partner I could be. Of course, I didn't always succeed. In fact, I made a lot of mistakes in my early relationships. But over time, I learned what it meant to truly show up for my significant other.

I think part of the reason why chivalry has become such a lost concept is that men have a bad reputation when it comes to relationships. We've ruined our own reputation by not showing up as the best versions of ourselves in our relationships. But I believe that we can change that. By being more connected to ourselves and our partners, we can be the best husbands, lovers, and companions possible.

Let me tell you about my experience with reconnection and sustaining a deep connection with my significant other. It's a feeling that's hard to describe, but it's something we both crave. We've had times when we were disconnected for long periods of time, and then finally, we would reconnect and feel great. We'd feel love and be connected to each other for days and weeks until life pulled us back into the current, and we'd become disconnected again. It's frustrating when that happens, but we've learned to recognize it and work on it.

One time, we were arguing about something silly like whether the recycling was taken out or not. I knew deep down that there was something more going on, and it wasn't just about recycling. My partner was in a state of disconnection and was expressing it through the argument. We've had similar arguments before, and it's always been because we're not connecting at a deeper level.

I've learned that as a loving partner, it's my job to be the knight in shining armor that my partner needs. It's not about being perfect or doing everything right, but it's about showing up and being there for her. Women often want someone who will fight for them, protect them, love them, honor them, take care of them, and provide for them. But in today's society, it's hard to find someone who can do all of these things consistently.

When I talk to other dads and husbands, they often complain about the lack of connection they feel with their significant other. I know that if they're feeling that way, their wives and moms are probably feeling the same way too. When we talk about our relationship, we often realize that we're not as connected as we want to be. We have conversations about the kids and household chores, but we're not having deep, passionate conversations about our feelings and what's going on in our lives.

That's why sustaining a deep connection with your significant other is crucial. It's not just about having conversations about everyday life; it's about creating a safe container where both of you can express your feelings and be heard. When we have these conversations on a regular basis, we feel more connected to each other. We can support each other emotionally and work through any challenges that come our way.

It's easy to let life get in the way and forget about the importance of staying connected to our partners. But we have to remember that our relationship is the foundation for everything else in our lives. If we're not connected, everything else starts to break down. Our kids can sense it too, and we're always modeling what it means to be in a relationship with them.

So, if you're a gentleman reading this, I encourage you to make it a priority to connect with your significant other every single day. It's not about grand gestures or extravagant dates; it's about showing up and being present. When you're connected, you can work through anything together, and that's what makes a strong and healthy relationship. Think of it as chivalry - getting on your horse, grabbing your shield and lance, and going to war for your relationship. It's the most important thing you'll ever do.

“When husband and wife are united in marriage they no longer seem like something earthly, but rather like the image of God Himself.” - St. John Chrysostom

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io

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Today's episode is about something really special that happened recently. My daughter, Savannah, participated in a horseback riding show, and it was a rainy day when we went to see her. That day, she rode a horse she had only ridden once before, a stubborn horse named Blue. I'm going to tell you what happened at the show, but first, let me talk about a concept that's important to me as a parent: co-regulating with my children when they are emotional.

As you may know, children can't fully understand and handle their emotions until they are in their late teens or early twenties. So, when my kids are dysregulated or triggered, they can't think rationally, no matter how many times I try to discipline them. I used to make the mistake of going into troubleshooting mode when they were upset, just like I do with my spouse. I'd try to convince them that they were wrong and list all the reasons why they were misperceiving reality. I'd also try to come up with solutions to their problems, or even ask them what they want me to do. But that didn't work. So, instead, I learned to co-regulate with them. I don't try to solve their problems or convince them of anything. I just sit with them and try to understand how they are feeling. And that's exactly what I did for Savannah at the horseback riding show.

As a parent, I always wanted to establish a relationship with my children where they could come to me when they were dealing with their emotions. I think most parents want this for their children. It is important to be the loving and supportive caretaker that gives them advice and guidance, helping them to handle and process their emotions. This way, they will come to you instead of turning to the wrong crowd when they become teenagers. I have had many emotional conversations with my children where I ask them how they feel and they tell me what color their emotions are. It's amazing how this helps them regulate their emotions.

One day, during my daughter's horseback riding class, she was having trouble with a very stubborn and difficult horse that was not following her instructions. It was difficult to watch her struggle while the other riders smoothly transitioned. However, the most amazing thing was that she maintained her composure in the middle of the ring, with two other riders and the judges watching. Despite the crowd of parents, she did not get emotional, hung in there, and did not quit.

This is one of the values we have instilled in our family - when we are in it, we stay in it.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." - Proverbs 22:6

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com

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Today, I want to talk about parenting and something that's been on my mind recently. As a parent, when your child does something wrong, it's natural to have an immediate emotional response. But what do you do with that emotion?

I've noticed that many parents, especially fathers, tend to shy away from taking an active role in parenting. It's often assumed that the mom is responsible for dealing with the kids and their emotions, while the dad's job is simply to provide financially. But being a father is so much more than that! It's about being present, connected, and loving towards your children. It's about being a guide, a leader, and a teacher. It's about showing your kids that they are loved and valued and that you are there to support them no matter what.

So let me get to the point. As a parent, I sometimes find myself assuming that my child has acted with malicious intent when they do something wrong. I immediately start thinking that they did it on purpose to hurt someone, and I launch into a punishment conversation without giving them a chance to explain themselves. This often leads to them believing false things about themselves, like they are not lovable, and it all started with my wrong assumption. So, I had to ask myself if I fundamentally believe that humans are good or evil.

But if I realize that my child did not act with malicious intent, I need to put on my detective hat and become a sleuth to try to understand how they perceived reality. I have to listen to them and ask questions instead of assuming that I know what happened. When I do this, I hear things from my child that I could not have possibly thought of myself because I am not at their level of development. I have learned to have these types of conversations with my children, and it has helped me understand them better. For example, my daughter once asked me what a MasterCard was, and I asked her why she was asking. She told me that she was scared to tell me something because she thought I would be mad, and I was grateful that she could tell me how she felt. I could never have had that level of conversation with my children in the early days of my parenting journey, but I have learned to communicate better with them.

Unfortunately, many dads miss out on this amazing experience. They pawn off their fatherhood to their spouses, assuming that their job is done once they've provided financially for the family. They miss out on the opportunity to be the ultimate guide for their children, and to witness the most amazing journey of their lives.

I know this because I've been there. In the early days of my parenting journey, I didn't know who I was as a man or what I stood for. I was still trying to figure things out, and as a result, I missed out on some of the most precious moments with my kids. But I'm glad I came to that realization when I did because it allowed me to build the deep, meaningful relationships I have with my five children today.

So, dads, it's time to wake up and realize the huge role you play in your children's lives. How you show up now will impact them for decades to come. Don't miss out on the opportunity to be there for your kids, to guide them, and to love them unconditionally. It's not just their lives that will be better for it, but yours too. Trust me, it's an experience you don't want to miss out on.

"Every family needs a FATHER - a father who shares in his family's joy and pain, hands down wisdom to his children, and offers them firm, guidance and love" - Pope Francis

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io

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Over the past five years since I started Scendancy, I've been on quite the journey. We've gone through many evolutions in the business, and while some of my partners have been skeptical, I've always known that my purpose has been centered around two things: family and transformation.

Years ago, I had an idea to film life lessons from parents and grandparents, capturing their life stories on video. This idea led to a service where we interviewed people, building chapters of their video memoirs, and we still do this today. It's been incredibly rewarding to see life experiences through other people's eyes, transporting me to different worlds and giving me insight into how previous generations parented their children.

But this isn't just a business for me; it's an extension of who I am as a person. There's no line drawn between my personal life and my business life. My values and the values my company operates by are reflections of who I am as a person. I believe in being authentic, vulnerable, and emotionally available, whether I'm at work or at home with my family.

Maybe you have your own family values that you live by, and that's great. For me, it's all about making a difference in another person's world, helping them see something about themselves so that they can create a new future and opportunity for themselves.

So, let's continue on this journey together, and I hope my experiences and insights can help you and your family along the way.

“I am not capable of doing big things, but I want to do everything, even the smallest things, for the greater glory of God.” - St. Dominic Savio

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io

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Today, I want to talk to you, husbands and fathers about something that comes up often in relationships. I've personally experienced an evolution in my own relationship with my significant other that I want to share with you. I started with familiarity, and I've seen the way that men show up as boys in their marriages. It may sting a bit, but hear me out.

Most of us grew up in a household where there was a parenting paradigm that involved controlling and punishing children. We inherited our parents' limiting beliefs unintentionally through the language we were exposed to as children. We learned to believe that we weren't good enough, which affected our ability to express our emotions and connect with our partners. It's not just business owners who struggle with this; I've seen it in men from all walks of life. We need to learn to step into our feelings and express them in a way that invites our partners to connect with us. Our partners want to feel connected to us, but it's difficult if we struggle to express our emotions. So let's work on breaking this cycle and creating a language of love, support, and compassion in our relationships.

For a long time, I, like many men, ran from my emotions. I buried them deep inside me and covered them up with addictions and distractions. It wasn't until I stopped running and started learning how to feel and express my emotions that my life truly began to open up. When you connect with your emotions, you experience yourself on a deeper level, and that energy can be channeled into achieving amazing things in your life.

Unfortunately, I've also seen many men who never make this connection. They continue to run from their emotions, and it leads them down a path of destruction. I've talked to countless men who are on the brink of divorce, or worse, whose partners have already left them for someone who is emotionally available. It's heartbreaking to see, and I don't want it to happen to you.

If you're listening to this and you're in a place where you don't know how to connect with your emotions, don't worry. It's a skill that can be learned, and I'm here to help. One technique that I've found to be incredibly useful is to pause when you feel triggered or upset and assess what your needs are at that moment. It's important to understand that it's okay to have needs - we all do. In fact, most arguments with our partners stem from unmet needs that we don't know how to communicate.

So, the next time you're feeling angry or upset, take a deep breath and ask yourself what you need at that moment. Learning to connect with your emotions and express your needs is a powerful tool that will not only improve your relationships but also your overall well-being.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church” (Eph. 5:25).

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io

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As a father, one of my biggest hopes is to leave behind something truly valuable for my children, something that will help them in their personal and professional lives. That's why I'm passionate about discussing family-owned businesses on this podcast. I believe that they're the backbone of our economy and that they have the potential to bring families together. However, as someone who has worked with many family-owned businesses over the years, I've also seen the potential pitfalls. Too often, the family dynamics can create tension and resentment, especially when it comes time to pass the business on to the next generation.

I've spoken with many second and third-generation family members who feel trapped and voiceless, like they're just another "hired hand" in the family business. They struggle with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, and they don't feel confident in their ability to lead. It's a tough spot to be in, especially when the pressure is on to take over the business.

But here's the thing: if we want our family-owned businesses to thrive and succeed for generations to come, we need to focus on the relationships between the generations. We need to foster connection and communication, to create an environment where everyone feels heard and valued. This isn't just about the business, it's about the family.

I grew up in a household where my parents valued family connections and communication. They taught us family values and always encouraged us to speak up and share our thoughts and feelings. As a result, I have a strong relationship with my parents that extends beyond just parent-child, but as close friends. I believe that this is the kind of legacy that we should strive for in our family-owned businesses - one where communication is a priority, and every family member feels like they have a voice.

So, if you find yourself in a family-owned business where you don't feel like you have a voice, know that you're not alone. But also know that it's time to start taking action to change that. It's time to start unpacking the things that are holding you back and finding your confidence and voice as a leader. Because your life is happening right now, and it's up to you to make the most of it.

I'm excited to dive into this topic further in future episodes, but for now, let's start by focusing on building stronger family connections within our family-owned businesses.

"“If you want to bring happiness to the whole world, go home and love your family.” -Mother Teresa

Blessings on your path,

Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io

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I've been on a journey where I've come to realize just how much fear has been running my life. I remember times early on in my career where something as simple as introducing myself on a conference call was a source of fear for me. My throat would tighten up and I would feel completely stopped by fear. Looking back on those moments now, it seems crazy to me. But that's how my life was back then. I was afraid to face what I was dealing with and what I was faced with. As a father who didn't quite know who he was, I had no concept of who I was and hadn't done the deep work on myself to remove all the things that got in the way of me seeing who I really was. Fear was the thing that literally stopped me from taking action.

And I bet you've already thought of some areas where you're stopped by fear too. Maybe you're afraid of making decisions or having difficult conversations. But one thing I've learned is that fear is actually a massive pointer to areas of our life that could grow and expand from where they are now. Fear is pointing us in a direction of growth and expansion. If we just honor the voice inside of us that's telling us to take action, the one that gives us goosebumps and makes our arm hairs stand up, we can experience massive growth and all kinds of new possibilities.

So my question to you today is, where is fear stopping you from taking action or doing something that you know you should do? Take note of that and go take action. Do it despite your fear. See what's possible on the other side of not being stopped by your fear.

"Fear of others becomes a snare, but the one who trusts in the LORD is safe." Proverbs 29:25 -Rev. Benjamin Norman

Want more training and deep dive on building a connected family and relationship? Check us at www.scendancy.com as well as our membership app https://scendancy.passion.io

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Starting over can be a difficult and painful experience, but it also presents an opportunity to create a new future. Whether the decision to start over is forced upon us or we choose it ourselves, we are faced with leaving behind the things that brought us to this point in our journey. However, the lessons we learned along the way stay with us and can be applied to our new path.

Starting over allows us to create a new canvas for ourselves, one where we can paint a new picture of our future. It may be scary to leave behind our routines and the things we are comfortable with, but taking the first step on a new path is the hardest part. Once we find our feet and start moving in this new direction, it becomes easier to take the next step, and before we know it, we are running towards our new future.

It's important to remember that the new path we are on is uncharted territory, and we must embrace the fact that it's a new journey with new variables. Although we may reference the lessons and experiences of the past, we should not let them hold us back from our new journey.

So, if you are considering starting over, take the first step and imagine what your new future could look like. It may not be easy, but the opportunity to create a new canvas for ourselves is worth it.

Today my friend I am sending a prayer for you and your journey, may this new road always rise to meet your feet, that you be cloaked in the fire of faith, knowing wherever the road leads, all will be well.

-Rev. Benjamin Norman

P.S. Check us out at www.scendancy.com or feel free to message me directly if this message resonated with you, email me at benjamin@scendancy.com - I answer and respond to all messages.

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Right or wrong. Good or bad. Outside of moral and lawful issues, this judgement doesn't matter. A better question to ask yourself about your decisions and choices exists to view them more powerfully.

Questions, email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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Coming out of a rather dark time filled with self doubt, I recently went back and listened to one of my own podcasts, and the power of the message that I had hoped to leave for others wound up inspiring me instead. A simple message in a bottle, from myself, reignited my passion for all the things I wanted to accomplish and pulled me out of my own way. What dream do you have, that you are called to, could you start taking steps towards today?

Questions or Comments? Email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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2021 is the year of Scendancy. Jumping ship from my corporate job to focus on Scendancy full time ran me directly into the “I’m not ready for this” mindset. The truth is, you’ll never be ready, so just make the leap. Doubt and disbelief toxic to success, the prescription is to give yourself permission to be the person needed to do what needs to be done. Always push back when your mind tries to tell you, you aren’t enough.

Questions or Comments? Email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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More people are dying each day than the number of people who died on 9/11. What will you do to ensure your loved ones message and stories live on?

We have a very special Christmas gift available for your parents or grandparents, email benjamin@scendancy.com to get started.

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Often times we are faced with choices that scare us or fill us with fear, but on the other side of that choice is a massive transformation.

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What seeds can you plant today in your life that may take a long time to blossom to your benefit?

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Declaring who we are takes our thoughts about ourselves and who we believe we are in the world, and through the spoken word sends them into the universe.

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Today we continue with the doctrine I created in my own journey that will be left behind to my descendants as life lessons. What am I protecting? Is a question to get clear on where you are investing your energy on a daily basis.

Join our free program to go through experiences recording your own life lessons, email benjamin@scendancy.com to get started.

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Happy Mother's day. Today we honor all mothers and share a story of my mom and what life was like growing up and how our relationship shifted as we got older. We also talk about COVID-19 and ask a question to you in regard to this...what are you going to leave behind?

For a limited time: join our free Scendancy alpha program, email benjamin@scendancy.com for details.

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In these series of episodes we will talk about a series of guiding questions to apply and live life by. This week we start with the guiding question “What will you leave behind?” The question Scendancy was founded on, has the power to guide us moment by moment in life.

Questions or Comments? Email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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For the longest time I couldn’t figure out why I was putting work in on my body and never quite getting the results I wanted. I never had an issue with food, so I never modified my diet, until I was lead down a path that modified my diet, and my oh my, it made a world of difference.

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We talked about vision before, today we talk about purpose. Why is it we must have a purpose? Why must we tether ourselves to it? Learn today how your father learned to leverage purpose in his life.

Questions or comments, email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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Often times when your father feels lost in the pull of life, not really sure where he is going with his relationships and his marriage and his business, it is simply because there is vision missing.

Questions or comments? email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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There have been many times in your father's life where the balance wasn't there between work, his relationships, his spouse, and the many other things on the list to manage. In today's message you can find advice.

Questions or comments? email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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There were many years where your father didn't understand the meaning of being arrogant. At times, it continues to pop up. In today's lesson mother nature answered back.

Questions or comments? Email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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Alcohol and Cigarettes. How to deal with those addictions. A simple method, tried and true. Though I hope as a father my kids never have to deal with this, if they do, here's a few lessons from dad on how to deal with it.

Questions? email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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There is going to come a time in your life where you feel like you don't fit in. In that moment, you will have a decision to make, either you break out of the circle and forge your own path, or stay in the circle where they want you to stay. The one thing that will keep you from following your path, is your fear.

Questions/Feedback? Email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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This is the question I have rebuilt my life around. This is the question I will build my business around. This is the question and the message I will bring to the world. This is the one question that will guide someone to transformation.

Questions or Comments? Email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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In part 5 of the intro series we talk about the inception of Scendancy and the roots the company was founded on. While the deliverable may shift with time, the concept remains the same. What will you leave behind?

Questions or Comments? Email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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Quitting. Why sometimes that is the last thing you do before you would have realized your dreams, or in some cases, the thing you need to do in order to realize them.

Questions or Feeback? Email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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Today we continue to dive into the foundational beginning of Scendancy and Message to my Kids, in today's episode, I'm remembering stories about my grandfather and my life growing up.

Questions or feedback? Email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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We continue the journey down the road to how we arrived at message to my kids the podcast. In this episode we talk money, scarcity, and sufficiency. We talk about the first concept that ignited the idea behind Scendancy.

Questions or comments? Email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

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In this introductory episode of message to my kids the podcast we talk about what this podcast is about, what we're up to, where we are going. Legacy. Scendancy. Leaving the lessons I've learned in my life behind for my children and grandchildren to find someday with the intention of teaching them.

Questions or Comments? Email me at benjamin@scendancy.com

Message to My Kids: Recent Episodes

Benjamin Norman