Hole in My Heart Podcast: Recent Episodes
Laurie and Matt Krieg
The purpose of the Hole in My Heart Podcast is to explore how the gospel is good news for everyone every day. Most often, teacher and author, Laurie Krieg, licensed therapist and "argyle expert," Matt Krieg, and producer and "the most professional radio voice among us," Steve, all engage where the gospel intersects sexuality and gender. Mostly? The trio and their guests seek to place the sexuality/gender conversation in the midst of other real-life stories of the practical, gritty good news of the gospel. To learn more about Laurie and Matt Krieg visit www.lauriekrieg.com.
Well, dear family, we have an announcement.
What is it?
First, let's hang out for a while, and talk about...
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How did that "word for the year" go for you?
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In light of that reality, how has the gospel been uniquely good news for you this year?
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What is coming next for the podcast and our ministry in 2022?
We'd love for you to sit at the podcast table one more time with us. :)
| Highlights |
"If you are listening and you feel this frenetic burden to go and save the world, Jesus already did that. Abide in Him, walk in Him, and He will show you how to have your doing come from your being." -Laurie Krieg
“[Let’s] not just be like, ‘Well, that’s just Christianity, isn’t it? It’s suffering.’ …No, that’s not why Jesus came, so that we have to suffer and hate everything. There’s this good desire in us for this shalom and this peace. And if you want that, that’s a good desire.” -Laurie Krieg
| Do the Next Thing |
Interested in coaching or consulting with yourself or your ministry? Visit lauriekrieg.com/contact and select "Coaching/Consulting" in the drop down menu.
Want to send a note about how this podcast has affected you? Rate and review it, or email us at podcast@lauriekrieg.com.
We also mention these episodes—check ‘em out! * Practically Living Life in the Presence of God with Ken Boa: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/practically-living-life-in-the-presence-of-god/ * How to Not Give Up with Christine Caine: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-world-is-throwing-discouragement-at-us-how-can-we-not-give-up/ * First Episode of Season 5! https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/take-two-is-there-hope-for-us-with-matt-and-laurie-krieg/
Looking for community with other podcast listeners? Join our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
If you need a fresh look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.
The ugly truth has just come out. One spouse has just confessed to unfaithfulness and the other is reeling in shock.
Where do we go from here?
Is there hope for a marriage in crisis?
Does Jesus have something to say to this place?
We are thrilled to bring back our friends Johnny and Amanda McKenna, who have been in this place and walked through—with Jesus’ help—to the other side.
Give us a listen?
| Highlights |
“Pray the prayer that was prayed over me, which is a super scary prayer to pray…but that prayer of ‘Whatever needs to come into the light, come into the light.’ Days before my confession, I was told that that prayer was being prayed over me.” -Johnny McKenna
“I…have to trust that God’s gonna be there…when everything does come out and the pieces are ready to be put back together and God can begin His restoration work.” -Johnny McKenna
| Do the Next Thing |
Missed our first conversation with Johnny and Amanda? Check it out here! https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/take-two-broken-beloved-pastors-with-johnny-and-amanda-mckenna/
Looking for community with other podcast listeners? Join our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
If you need a new look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.
We would love it if you would rate the podcast for us, on any of your favorite listening platforms!
Did you know that CS Lewis' lifelong best friend was gay?
Did you know that Francis Schaeffer was against orientation-change pursuit for gay people?
Did you know that Billy Graham was a compassionate defender of gay people who fell into sexual sin?
Did you know that John Stott encouraged the church to "repent of the crippling 'homophobia'... which has coloured the attitudes toward homosexual people of too many of us, and call our fellow Christians to similar repentance”?
You guys...the church wasn't always so terrible at the LGBTQ conversation, praise God.
Pastor and author Greg Johnson helped us understand this truth as he unpacked the church's history, but he also shined light on some of the more dark shadows of our past and current state as he shared his own journey as a celibate pastor who experiences attractions to the same sex.
This is not an episode to miss...
| Highlights |
“[John] Stott said, 'If the Church can't be family for gay people, if they can't be known and loved and understood within the Church, then the Church needs to quit calling itself the family of God.'” -Greg Johnson
| Do the Next Thing |
Want to hear more from Greg? Go get his book! https://www.amazon.com/Still-Time-Care-Churchs-Homosexuality/dp/B08TTLFX4T
You can also check him out on Christianity Today! https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2019/may-web-only/greg-johnson-hide-shame-shelter-gospel-gay-teenager.html
Looking for community with other podcast listeners? Join our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
If you need a new look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/653114160
In a world of pain, identity can be hard to find.
With a diagnosis of PTSD, it can be even harder.
How do we navigate knowing who we are—and equally important, who God is, in a world that assaults us with lies day in and day out?
How do we do that with trauma?
With cheerfulness and grace, Bonnie Gray tells her story and helps to answer these questions.
Listen with us?
| Highlights |
“If you go through trauma and you don’t have Jesus, you’re gonna have to be a better version than what you were before…. But if we have Jesus, we say, ‘You know what, I can’t do it. And the beauty is that I don’t have to do it all. Life can be beautiful, even if it’s not perfect.’” -Bonnie Gray
| Do the Next Thing |
Want more of Bonnie? Check out her website! thebonniegray.com
We love her book! Go grab it here. Sweetlikejasmine.com
Enjoyed listening today? You can find Bonnie’s podcast here. https://www.lifeaudio.com/breathe-the-stress-less-podcast/
Looking for community with other podcast listeners? Join our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
If you need a new look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/645462589
Emotional health is something that can feel elusive and impossible.
But is it? And even if "attaining" total emotional health on this side of eternity is unlikely, what steps can we take to at least walk toward it?
And why do we need to?
With the wisdom and tenderness of a kind father figure, pastor and author, Pete Scazerro, helps us answer some of our questions about the pursuit of emotional health.
Together we explore the above questions as well as:
Why is the usual church-discipling paradigm to live burned out and overextended? What if we say "no" to people and they get mad at us. How do we process that? Are there really two types of people in the world: the helpers and the helped?
We'd love to have you join the conversation.
| Highlights |
“Say the United States is gonna cease to be a world power, and fall, and become this dominated country by another country. We may live through that. I mean, who knows what’s gonna happen? The point is: COVID, all the pressures, are putting pressure on our inner life. But, you see, if you can develop an inner life with God that’s robust, the Roman Empire can fall, but you’re okay. Because your happiness is not dependent on your circumstances.” -Pete Scazerro
| Do the Next Thing |
For resources on building a Rule of Life, click here! https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/RULE-OF-LIFE-WORKBOOK.pdf
And here is the logic behind it! https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/tag/rule-of-life/?campaignid={campaigned}&adgroupid=74638576022&feeditemid=&loc_interest_ms=&loc_physical_ms=9029029&network=g&device=c&devicemodel=&keyword=&matchtype=b&placement=&adposition=&gclid=Cj0KCQjwrJOMBhCZARIsAGEd4VEiiWRrnhR3U2-Zp7wVh5xEI-Db6f6iQp2buZv5FztkcysYf0W0p_YaArueEALw_wcB
Want more of Pete? Check out his website here: https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/about/about-pete/
You can also see his books here: https://www.amazon.com/Peter-Scazzero/e/B001H6MMFW%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share
Looking for community with other podcast listeners? Join our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
If you need a new look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.
Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/642906570
Sometimes, God wants to use counseling to help us heal. Sometimes, it’s the Bible. Sometimes, it’s the powerful word from a dear friend. Sometimes, it’s prayer. Sometimes (oftentimes?), it’s all of the above.
When Michelle Kyle and I (Laurie) met together for coaching, she said she felt “stuck.” I didn’t know if I could help her get unstuck, but using a prayer technique I have been engaging for 15 years, I thought I would give it a try.
What did we do? Did she get unstuck? What was the process, and how can I engage something like that today? What cautions do Matt and I have when engaging this process?
Join us for this powerful and practical conversation on listening prayer and we will dive into these answers and more.
| Highlights |
“I just remember praying, ‘God, you’re gonna have to do something, because I literally close my eyes and I usually see nothing.’ And so I did….And all of a sudden, I did, it happened, and I could see myself on the edge of the pier.” -Michelle Kyle
“You [Laurie] had asked me, ‘Do you want to invite Jesus into that space?’ And I said, ‘Well, He’s actually already there.’” -Michelle Kyle
| Do the Next Thing |
Want to learn more about listening prayer? Check out Matt’s episode about it here: https://soundcloud.com/laurie-krieg/bonus-safe-place-prayer-with-matt?si=e53b760ef7ea4517aa73337b9b1e6ac7
We talk about it in this episode, too! https://soundcloud.com/laurie-krieg/himh-pod-ep86-mixdown?si=e5fe719f42be4e2ea72ca71b37320c51
Looking for more resources? We’re big fans of HealingCare.org.
If you need a new look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.
This is another episode we would pay you to listen to if we could.
Do you approach your friendships, your work, or the pain in your life more as the orphan, the stranger, or the widow?
Don’t know what that means? We didn’t either until we read “Redeeming Heartache” and then talked with the brilliant psychologist, Dr. Dan Allender, and to our new wise friend, author and therapist Cathy Loerzel.
Dan and Cathy helped us understand each of these approaches to the world, and invited us to live redeemed as a priest, prophet, or king and queen.
Together we explore:
What if I don’t think I’ve ever had trauma? Do I still need to do heart work? Why do I need to look back at my past? My present is hard enough. Why do I act this way in challenging situations?
Join us?
| Highlights |
“To be able to rest and receive delight and have gratitude, you need to be able to be open to what other people can offer you.... So if you’re never in that place of being able to receive that with an open, trusting heart, then you’re always…coiled up and ready for the place that you’re gonna be harmed next. So it keeps you from being able to receive surprise and delight and play because you’re always, always, always looking around the corner.” -Cathy Loerzel
“The reality is we all bear some of the effects of the Fall, and that’s what we’re calling trauma.” -Dan Allender
“You can’t heal the present without going back to the past.” --Cathy Loerzel
| Do the Next Thing |
Want more of these two? Go read their book, Redeeming Heartache! https://www.amazon.com/Redeeming-Heartache-Suffering-Reveals-Calling/dp/0310362016
Check out the Allender Center, which both Dan and Cathy are a part of founding and leading! https://theallendercenter.org
Dan is a veteran on the podcast! Here’s our first episode with him. https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/sexuality-and-shame-with-dan-allender/
Looking for a fresh way to read Scripture? The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.
Want something deeper than just the podcast? Join our Facebook group and discuss with us! https://www.facebook.com/groups/434827357279517
Watch this conversation! (COMING SOON)
Without unnecessary clutching of our metaphorical pearls, when we look around, it does seem like there is something going on spiritually when it comes to an attack on the human body.
What’s going on?
Pastor and author Sam Allberry, a friend of the show and author of the new book “What God Has to Say about Our Bodies: How the Gospel Is Good News for Our Physical Selves” helps us answer this question and more.
Together, we explore:
Why is our body an integral part of our true selves? How can we walk with our friends who experience gender dysphoria? Why does it seem like so many people are giving up right now when it comes to making potentially harmful choices with their bodies? How can we address gender without using a list of “This is what it is NOT,” but “This is what it is?” Why is shame so often related to our bodies?
We’d love to have you sit your embodied self down at the podcast table and join us for this needed conversation.
| Highlights |
“The very yearning itself is a reflection that we’re made in God’s Image…. We sense there should be more than there is, that there should be a sense of wholeness and of satisfaction and completion that seems to elude us…. But the fact that we’re foreign means that our understanding of that is incomplete and our ways forward with that feeling are very twisted and skewed as well.” -Sam Allberry
| Do the Next Thing |
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/634056739
Want more of Sam Allberry? Start here, with his book! https://www.amazon.com/What-God-Has-about-Bodies/dp/1433570157/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=sam+allberry&qid=1634328428&sr=8-3
Don’t have time for the whole book? He also has a blog! You can check it out here. https://samallberry.com/blog
He can also be found as a contributor on the Gospel Coalition! Here’s this article he wrote on the significance of the rainbow (yes, that rainbow) for all of us. https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/safety-rainbow/
Looking for a fresh way to read Scripture? The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast. Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com!
Follow Laurie on Instagram for updates! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/?hl=en
Desires: We all have ‘em. And sometimes they really get in our way.
What are we supposed to do about this? Does Jesus care about our desires? Does He value them?
As our good friend Curt Thompson points out, Jesus first question in the gospel of John is, “What do you want?”
Clearly, our desires matter to God.
How and why?
Listen with us to find out.
| Highlights |
“Jesus’ assumption is that what I want is a really, really big deal.” -Curt Thompson
“[When I am wounded] I don’t desire, I devour.” -Curt Thompson
“…[S]till Jesus says, ‘What is it that you want?’ And I’m like, ‘What else is there to want? I’ve run out of all the options that I’ve made, that I’ve created.’ And this is when He comes with Himself and undoes us. Because—what I really want? I wanna be loved, I wanna be seen, I wanna be known, I wanna be wanted. And even though it terrifies me, I even want to be wanted by [Jesus], including the parts of me that I hate the most. And Jesus is saying, ‘I’m all in. And the parts of you that you hate the most? I’m not afraid of that, and you can’t make me leave the room.’” -Curt Thompson
| Do the Next Thing |
Want more of Curt? We have loads! (We’re big fans of him around here.)
For the basics, check out his website, including his NEW BOOK, The Soul of Desire! https://curtthompsonmd.com/books/
To hear more from Curt on our podcast, check out these other episodes! * Episode 64: Exploring Our Souls of Shame, pt. 1 - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/exploring-our-souls-of-shame-part-1/ * Episode 65: Exploring Our Souls of Shame, pt. 2 - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/exploring-our-souls-of-shame-part-2/ * Episode 138: Shredding Shame in a Pandemic - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/shredding-shame-in-a-pandemic-with-dr-curt-thompson/
Are you looking for a community with whom to explore more of the issues discussed on the podcast? Join the Heart of the Matter on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/groups/434827357279517
Looking for a great translation of the Bible? The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/627110494
How many people do you know who currently feel slightly-to-very discouraged about their faith?
Do you have a sense that the Bible could be a great help, but you don’t want to come across as legalistic or dismissive of their struggles?
How do you walk alongside your friends? (Or, how do you walk alongside yourself if you’re struggling with cracking the Bible?)
Author, podcaster, and Bible teacher Tara Leigh Cobble is here to help. Together, we explore:
How does the Bible relate to our identity?
What reading program can I start today without being overwhelmed by starting today?
How important is it to have someone who can walk with you?
How did Tara go from, “I can’t do this any more,” to caring about the Scriptures and Jesus more than ever before?
Join us?
| Highlights |
“I was reading Scripture with the lens to understand how do I get what I want from God, first of all?…And I was also looking [for] how can I please Him? Because, frankly, if I please Him, if I do what He wants, then He’s gonna do what I want….And my pastor friend said, ‘You’re reading it backwards. You’re reading it as thought it’s a mirror, and it’s not. It’s a lens to behold the living God.’” -Tara Leigh Cobble
| Do the Next Thing |
Are you looking for Bible study resources? Head over to BibleRecap.com.
Want more of Tara Leigh? Check out her website here! https://www.taraleighcobble.com
Also—we are in love with this study from Tara Leigh! https://www.amazon.com/Hes-Where-Joy-Getting-Captivating/dp/1087739845
In this episode, We mention the coaching options with Laurie, but her schedule is currently full. If you are interested in learning more, email info@lauriekrieg.com.
The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast. Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com!
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/620323779
“I’ve thought, ‘I don't know if I can do this, I don't know if I'm good enough or talented enough or whatever,’ but never had I thought [before that moment], ‘I don't know if I want to,’ because I really knew the price of going forward.”—Christine Caine
The first time we had this conversation with anti-human trafficking activist and internationally sought-after speaker and author Christine Caine, it was life-giving to all of us.
The second time we listened, it felt doubly hope-infusing because of where we are at in our journeys now…
Anyone else feeling the global slump of discouragement and despair? Has anyone else wondered, “Why am I doing this?” Or “How did I get here?”
Christine came and did not cheerlead us out of it, rather she empathized and encouraged from her own two-year journey with a dark night of the soul…
We’d love to have you join this powerful conversation.
| Highlight |
“I've thought, ‘I don't know if I can do this, I don't know if I'm good enough or talented enough or whatever,’ but never have I thought, ‘I don't know if I want to,’ because I really knew the price of going forward … But then I turn to [my husband] and I said, ‘But Jesus would know. Jesus know that I didn't press on … Jesus would know that I coasted my way into eternity—if I didn't press on and keep running my race.”—Christine Caine
| Do the Next Thing |
Find Christine’s book and all the things: christinecaine.com
Learn more about the Propel-Wheaton Cohort: https://www.wheaton.edu/academics/school-of-mission-ministry-and-leadership/partnerships/propel/
The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast. Learn more about our new favorite Bible: https://csbible.com
Real talk: When we think about raising our little kids in a porn-saturated world, we want to raze the whole broken system to the ground. That we even have to have this conversation plain ol’ stinks. (Darn you, Fall of Man!)
Then, we start to brainstorm: How long can I keep porn away from our kids? (Forever?)
What if they have already discovered it? (Am I the worst parent?)
How early are we supposed to talk about the “goodness of God’s design” for sex (the mechanics of it), and how early is too early?
As first-generation parents, youth leaders, and aunts and uncles of kids with cell phones (ie. porn in our kids’ pockets), we can feel overwhelmed by how to engage the porn conversation.
But … annoyingly … we have to.
Can someone please help us?
Ministry leaders and researchers Josh Glaser and Daniel Weiss are here with the assist, and the conversation we had was helpful and hopeful. Join us?
I Highlights I
“In one study, 75 percent of parents felt their kids hadn’t seen pornography, but 50 percent of those kids in that group admitted they had looked at it. So, that means half of those parents were unaware that their kids were looking at pornography.” —Daniel Weiss
“It’s a natural human response…that when we’re found out in our sin, we like to run and we like to hide. It’s a protective mechanism. And so, instead of inviting our kids to lie to us or to evade the truth, we just let them know what we know.” -Josh Glaser
“It’s not whether or not my kid would look at pornography—that’s the wrong question. The right question is: ’Is pornography the content or kind or material that will respect my family’s boundaries or my family’s values?’ It’s not. Pornography is seeking to be found. You can be frustrated … angry … but, that’s why it’s so important to be intentional and proactive [to not only] talk about the dangers out there, but more importantly, [to talk about] the beauty of what this was all made for—God’s design. Give them the positive, the beautiful first so that everything else seems to be the counterfeit, not the other way around.” —Daniel Weiss
I Do the Next Thing I
For more on this topic, check out Jay Stringer’s book Unwanted. https://jay-stringer.com/book/
You can also listen to this interview we did with Dan Allender, who addresses the connection between shame and sexual addiction. https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/episode-83-take-two-sexuality-and-shame-with-dan-allender/
Join our Facebook group to connect with other listeners! (Currently featured: Impossible Marriage Discussion Group!) https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/607940508
So...shame.
It's talked about quite frequently and often with rightful animosity, but have you ever considered there might be some good types of shame? Buckle your seatbelt as we engage the three types of shame and why they are so important--not just when engaging the LGBT+ conversation, but anyone's life.
Matt, Laurie, and Steve also dive into how the rest of SEASON FIVE will look, and why they are choosing to follow Jesus--even now in often-brutal 2021.
Toxic Shame: Whole body self-hate "Who I am is worthless." From the enemy (Satan) Happens before, during, or after we sin (or even if we didn't)
Guilt: "What I did was not worth it." From the Holy Spirit Happens only after we sin
Godly Shame: Helps us to feel the weight of our sin so we don't repeat it From the Holy Spirit Happens after we sin (or if we didn't) See: 1 Cor. 6:5 (“I say this to shame you”), 2 Cor. 7:10 (“godly sorrow that leads to repentance”)
| Highlight |
“The antidote to shame is being seen in our mess and loved in our mess….[Confession] can be this joyful thing, it doesn’t have to be this—it shouldn’t be—this ‘You’re worthless’ thing!….We don’t have to—just because we’ve been tempted toward something or even if we’ve sinned—we don’t have to hate ourselves, guys! We can confess and be free!” -Laurie Krieg
| Do the Next Thing |
Our book, An Impossible Marriage, talks often about these three types of shame and how they manifest. Check it out here! https://www.ivpress.com/an-impossible-marriage
And for more on shame, check out this resource by the expert, Curt Thompson: The Soul of Desire. https://www.ivpress.com/the-soul-of-desire
For those of you who are married and maybe feeling stuck, here’s an extra resource as well! 14 Days to Unstick Your Marriage. https://lauriekrieg.com/product/14-days-to-unstick-your-marriage/
Want to be more involved with the podcast? Check out our Facebook group! (Discussion of An Impossible Marriage starting September 12!) https://www.facebook.com/groups/434827357279517
Engaging conversations on race or sexuality is a hard, holy task.
As Christians, we don’t always do it well, even if our hearts are in the right place.
Are these conversations the same? How are they different? Can we advocate justice and unity without endorsing what is not God’s best? And how do we do this with our friends?
Stephanie Thole entered into this conversation with extraordinary grace and kindness, and we are thrilled to listen in again.
I Highlights I
“We were one of the few black families. I remember always being so attracted to all of these white boys. In my mind, I was like, ‘I gotta get rid of this…’ I understood at a very early age that that was not allowed.” —Stephanie Thole
“I was very much aware at how different I was. That I was ‘other.’” —Stephanie Thole
“A lot of us have made mistakes, have had hard conversations, have offended the wrong person, and it’s been a painful, awkward experience. Don’t let that stop you. Keep walking.” —Stephanie Thole
I Do the Next Thing I
For more on this conversation, check out our friends Daniel Hill and Rebecca McLaughlin! They lend their voices well to these issues. - The Secular Creed by Rebecca McLaughlin: https://www.amazon.com/Secular-Creed-Engaging-Contemporary-Claims/dp/0999284304 - White Lies by Daniel Hill: https://www.amazon.com/White-Lies-Expose-Resist-Systems/dp/0310358515
You can also listen to our interview with Rebecca McLaughlin here! https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/3619/
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Follow Laurie on Instagram for more ministry updates! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/?hl=en
Sometimes, we need the cold water bucket of siblinghood thrown over our heads and our questions.
What happens when we feel attraction toward our friends?
What if we become enmeshed with other people?
How do we guard against turning inward rather than outward, and encourage one another to continue on mission with Jesus?
Rachel Gilson shares her story and the beauty of being family in Christ in really helpful ways. We’re thrilled to revisit this conversation with her.
Listen in with us.
I Highlights I
“We kind of intuitively sense that a sibling relationship is a special kind of relationship: It has both really deep intimacy but is absolutely not erotic.” –Rachel Gilson
“A lot of time what temptation does is it wants to pull away our focus from, ‘God has given me gifts and opportunity to—with His Body—build His kingdom.’ Temptation ends up being this big gospel waste.” –Rachel Gilson
“Occasionally, you get this best friend situation where you turn inward like an ingrown toenail … you end up pairing up in a way that shuts out the broader body. There is something about sibling-hood that reminds us we are a part of a family.” –Rachel Gilson
I Do the Next Thing I
For more from Rachel Gilson, check out her book, Born Again This Way. https://www.amazon.com/Born-Again-This-Rachel-Gilson/dp/178498390X
Also, check out her article “I Never Became Straight” on Christianity Today, which one of the most read of its time. https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2017/october/i-never-became-straight-perhaps-that-was-never-gods-goal.html
You can also listen to our first episode with Rachel Gilson here. https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-thing-about-temptation/
Also! Check out Kelly Needham on codependency here. https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-codependency-complication/
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Join our Facebook group for more updates! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
After witnessing three excommunications of leaders in the church, Brad Klaver vowed that he would never share his same-sex attractions with anyone.
The Holy Spirit had other plans.
After over a decade of pastoring and marriage, God brought Brad face to face with himself—and it changed his life forever.
Will you join us as we listen again to this beautiful story of gospel transformation?
I Highlight I
“I remember exactly where I was watching [the excommunications] unfold. In me there was this internal wrestle of fear of: ‘I don’t know where this came from. I don’t know why I have this. I don’t know where this all began or what was done to me to make me like this, but all I know based on what I am seeing now is … this is what happens if people find out. You admit it, and you are shown the door.’ … I said to myself… ‘I will never tell anyone. Ever.’ That commitment was kept for 25 years.” –Brad Klaver
“If there’s one piece of encouragement that I could give listeners—invite the person you don’t understand to your table. There’s power in the fellowship around the table….There’s a reason that there’s power in communion, in the breaking of bread and of prayer. And the fact of the matter is that, for Michelle and I, the thing that we longed for most when we stepped down….We were never invited over for dinner…” -Brad Klaver
I Do the Next Thing I
Want more stories of Christians surrendering their sexuality? Check these out:
Greg Coles’ beautiful autobiography Single, Gay, Christian. https://www.amazon.com/Single-Gay-Christian-Personal-Identity/dp/0830845127
Rachel Gilson’s incredible story Born Again This Way. https://www.amazon.com/Born-Again-This-Rachel-Gilson/dp/178498390X
And for more resources on sexuality, visit the CenterForFaith.com.
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Follow Laurie on Instagram for more ministry updates! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/?hl=en
Guys! We’re back with this highly requested conversation with our REAL LIFE FRIENDS Johnny and Amanda.
What happens when a pastor suffers addiction in silence?
What happens when he has an affair?
What happens when health problems keep a couple from having sex?
Is there hope for marriages that go through these things?
Johnny and Amanda are here to say YES! God is a God of redemption and their story is beautiful proof. It’s worth the listen.
I Highlights I
“I constantly felt like I didn’t measure up. Pornography was an escape from that feeling for me. ‘Finally, I don’t have to feel that just for that moment.’ But after that moment is over . . . now I’m right where I started, and in an even worse spot.” –Johnny McKenna
“We could not have sex for two years of our marriage. I was so ashamed. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, what was wrong with my body. I didn’t understand it. It’s so hard and embarrassing to talk about with people . . . I felt so helpless.” –Amanda McKenna
“All this is going on and I’m saying to myself … ‘You’re such a scumbag … It’s time to take my life … I’ll be gone, but my legacy will be in tact. I won’t be this pastor that is another Hall of Shame member. I won’t have to tell my boys that I failed them–that I cheated on their mom. I won’t have to tell my youth group kids and leaders. I can at least provide for them financially. They’ll be in a better place because I have life insurance.’ I thought that was the best case scenario. Those were the lies Satan was whispering in my ear.” –Johnny Mckenna
”One of the things [my friend] said was, ‘Amanda, God is saving your husband right now.’ It shocked me. ‘What do you mean He’s saving us? It feels like He’s killing us.’ But then that meaning sunk in: Johnny was living bound and held captive by his sin. But now, God was in the process of saving him. …That’s really beautiful if you think about it: God steps into the mess and he fights for you.” –Amanda McKenna
I Do the Next Thing I
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Join our Facebook group for more updates! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
We are thrilled to be revisiting the Broken and Beloved Pastors series! In the next three episodes, we’ll hear the stories of three pastors who are, like all of us, “more loved than we can imagine and more sinful than we believe.”
What happens when a pastor wrestles with gender dysphoria?
What happens when the same pastor is called to bring that wrestling into the light, in his marriage and with his community?
What happens to his ministry? To his marriage? To his identity?
Ben and Lauren Schulke answer these questions and more as they recount their story with us. We are honored to share it with you.
I Highlights I
“I very much tried to control the image of how people saw me. But . . . when people know me they can choose to love me and not some facsimile.” –Ben Schulke
“I got to this place where I said, ‘I would rather be obedient to God than preserve something temporary–like my job.'”–Ben Schulke
“Ben’s identity is not gender dysphoria. His identity is not whatever other sin or brokenness he is dealing with. That’s not who he is. He is a son of God, and he is loved by Him.” –Lauren Schulke
I Do the Next Thing I
For more on this conversation, check out Mark Yarhouse’s book Emerging Gender Identities! It’s exciting stuff. :D https://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Gender-Identities-Understanding-Experiences/dp/1587434342
You can also check out Preston Sprinkle’s book on trans* issues, Embodied. https://www.amazon.com/Embodied-Transgender-Identities-Church-Bible/dp/0830781226
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Follow Laurie on Instagram for more ministry updates! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/?hl=en
The gender conversation today is swirling with confusion and hurt for everyone involved.
How do we as Christians enter into this conversation?
Today, we revisit a conversation with Heather Skriba, who, having wrestled with gender dysphoria her whole life, has a compassionate and truthful perspective on this issue.
We’re thrilled to share this episode once again! Join us!
I Highlights I
“God never just settles for salvation. He is truly redeeming everything.” -Heather Skriba
“There are people in my life that didn’t call me by name for two years, and by extension, didn’t use a pronoun when referring to me … How can you expect to have any trust or relational equity built if you are not even willing to refer to someone in a way that distinguishes them as human?” –Heather Skriba
“I didn’t know how to let God into the painful, hurting, and dark places of my heart–not just gender– but anxiety, codependency, insecurity, and self hatred. I didn’t know how to access the heart of God in those places … I think that is something that is really missing from a lot of relationships when people try to walk with LGBT people and LGBT Christians.” –Heather Skriba
I Do the Next Thing I
For more on this conversation, check out Mark Yarhouse’s book Emerging Gender Identities! It’s exciting stuff. :D https://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Gender-Identities-Understanding-Experiences/dp/1587434342
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Join our Facebook group for more updates! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
So often, sexuality brings shame right on its heels.
How can we banish it? How can we heal?
Join us today as we revisit this conversation with Dr. Dan Allender to learn how stepping into the light and grace of Jesus can heal our shame when it comes to sexuality.
Heads up: We do address sexual trauma in this episode, though not graphically. If this is part of your story or that of someone close to you, please take care of yourself and listen with caution.
I Highlights I
“The return on investment for the kingdom of darkness is profound in regard to abuse. [It] disintegrates some level of our faith, our ability to trust, our ability to dream and hope, and certainly our ability to give delight and pleasure to one another.” –Dan Allender
“I think contempt is our way to manage shame with a level of control that annihilates ourselves so we don’t feel, so we don’t want, so we don’t risk. Contempt is really just another form of self-hatred that allows us to lessen the experience of shame.” –Dan Allender
“I’ve seen it literally thousands of times: People who enter the truth and allow their hearts to receive kindness … that’s the context for the Spirit of God to bring about remarkable change.” –Dan Allender
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Dan’s books! * Healing the Wounded Heart: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Wounded-Heart-Heartache-Transformation/dp/0801015685/ref=sr_1_1?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIuKW167mj4gIVr__jBx1WqA6aEAAYAiAAEgKOSPD_BwE&hvadid=174217451664&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9017520&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t2&hvqmt=e&hvrand=15049734708914584592&hvtargid=kwd-2871614828&hydadcr=24629_9648897&keywords=healing+the+wounded+heart&qid=1558126587&s=gateway&sr=8-1 * God Loves Sex: https://www.amazon.com/God-Loves-Sex-Conversation-Holiness/dp/0801015669/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=god+loves+sex&qid=1558126633&s=gateway&sr=8-1
While you’re at it, head over to the Allender Center for more resources and information! https://theallendercenter.org/
Looking for more podcasts? The Allender Center has a good one. https://theallendercenter.org/category/podcast/
For ministries updates from Laurie and the Crew, join our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
As Laurie says, “We’re kind of lament-obsessed around here.”
It’s true. And it made running this episode a second time an easy choice for this series.
Since the first time this episode ran, there is still pain and brokenness in our lives, and we need a place to take it. Cue Mark Vroegop, ushering us to the feet of Jesus with this spiritual practice that truly has revolutionized our lives.
Will you lament with us today?
I Highlights I
“People who know how to lament are comfortable with saying less or nothing. They intuitively have a heart that is oriented toward empathy. They don’t panic when their friend says something that is edgy or a little scary.” –Mark Vroegop
“Lament is not just crying. Lament is talking to God about what causes the crying.” –Mark Vroegop
“One out of every three songs in the official songbook of God’s people–songs that had music and were sung–reflect this sort of minor key [lament] tune. We are not only unfamiliar with lament, but our churches are generally lament-light.” –Mark Vroegop
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Mark’s book, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament here: http://markvroegop.com/books/
Want more of Mark Vroegop? Read some of his articles here! * “Strong Churches Speak the Language of Lament” on Gospel Coalition: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/strong-churches-lanuage-lament/ * “Dare to Hope in God: How to Lament Well” on Desiring God: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/dare-to-hope-in-god
For more on lament, listen to Laurie’s “How to Lament in the Face of Pushback” talk here: https://soundcloud.com/laurie-krieg/bonus-facing-the-unthinkable-talk
Also, to learn about Safe Place Prayer, find Matt’s thoughts here: https://soundcloud.com/laurie-krieg/bonus-safe-place-prayer-with-matt
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Join our Facebook group for more updates! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
Welcome to TAKE TWO of Exploring Our Souls of Shame!
Rerunning this episode was an obvious choice because we all deal with shame.
Curt Thompson beautifully describes not only the experience of shame, but also its antidote: Jesus.
Join us as we learn resilience and joy in this brilliant conversation!
I Highlights I
“The gospel–if it is good news–does not begin with ‘I am more sinful than I believe.’ It begins, in fact, with ‘I am more loved than I can imagine.’ It is in that space of being loved incessantly, relentlessly, that we become aware just how sinful we are.” –Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D.
“God–even in His pursuit–He is not going to shame us. He is not going to twist my arm. He is not going to shame me for not having my shame cleaned up well enough. He is going to relentlessly pursue me.” –Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D.
“The healing of shame is not just a way for us to not longer feel bad about ourselves. It’s a way to re-commission us to do the work of goodness and beauty that God has had for us since before the creation of the world.” –Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D.
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Curt’s book, the Soul of Shame. https://www.amazon.com/Soul-Shame-Retelling-Stories-Ourselves/dp/0830844333
Want to learn more about shame? Listen to our other episodes on it here! - Episode 155: Getting to the Root of Porn in a Time of Turmoil with Michael John Cusick - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/getting-to-the-root-of-porn-in-a-time-of-turmoil-with-michael-john-cusick/ - Episode 164: The Spiritual Garden with Carolyn Schroeder - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-spiritual-garden-with-carolyn-schroeder/ - Episode 166: The Emotional Garden with Peace Amadi - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-spiritual-garden-with-carolyn-schroeder/ - Episode 173: Marriage and Mental Health with Aaron and Jamie Ivey - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/marriage-and-mental-health-with-aaron-jamie-ivey/ - Episode 83: Sexuality and Shame with Dan Allender - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/sexuality-and-shame-with-dan-allender/ - Episode 82: How to Lament with Mark Vroegop - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/how-to-lament-with-mark-vroegop/
Are you liking this series? Have thoughts about this episode? Email us at lk@lauriekrieg.com.
Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Follow Laurie on Instagram for more ministry updates! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/?hl=en
Welcome to the first episode of our Take Two series!
It was so hard to choose episodes to highlight over the past four (FOUR?!) seasons, but we’ve narrowed it down to a few that we’ll show you over the next several weeks.
This episode discusses Chapter 5 of Francis and Lisa Chan’s book, You and Me Forever, as well as some of the good and hard of Matt and Laurie’s own story!
Get ready for a good one guys, we’re excited to revisit this!
I Do the Next Thing I
You can check out You and Me Forever by Francis and Lisa Chan at this link! https://www.youandmeforever.org
Hear more of Laurie and Matt’s story in An Impossible Marriage. Find the book at this link! https://lauriekrieg.com/product/an-impossible-marriage-what-our-mixed-orientation-marriage-has-taught-us-about-love-and-the-gospel/
You can also check out Laurie’s story on Remnant Radio and the Happy Hour podcasts! * The Remnant Radio: https://luminarypodcasts.com/listen/the-remnant-radio/the-remnant-radios-podcast/christian-discuss-lgbtq-subjects-with-laurie-krieg/41bf747e-2cec-4218-acd6-860419d9e3b5 * The Happy Hour: https://jamieivey.com/hh363/
Here are a few of the episodes that were “Runner’s Up” for our favorites! * Episode 111: Can’t We All Just Get Along with David Bennet - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/cant-we-all-just-get-along/ * Episode 167: The Social Garden with Greg Coles - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-social-garden-with-greg-coles/ * Episode 107: Why Male Friendships are Challenging with Sam and Blaine Eldredge - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/why-male-friendships-are-challenging/ * Episode 152: Are Women Responsible for Male Lust? with Rachel Joy Welcher - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/are-women-responsible-for-male-lust-with-rachel-joy-welcher/ * Episode 96: Healthy Community (& Touch) As a Single Person with Meg Baatz - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/healthy-community-and-touch-as-a-single-person/ * Episode 157: Gen Z’s Sex, Marriage, and Singleness Questions with Sean McDowell - https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/gen-zs-sex-marriage-and-singleness-questions-with-sean-mcdowell/
Do you need “a friend in the trenches”? Sign up for a coaching session with Laurie here! https://lauriekrieg.com/product/one-coaching-session-with-laurie/
Also, have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Even though picking favorite episodes from this season is like choosing a favorite child, we snagged your top listened-to ones from this season (and some of our most memorable conversations), and reflected on clips from them.
Here are the episodes we cover:
“Caring for People Wrestling with Gender” with Mark Yarhouse https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/caring-for-people-wrestling-with-gender-with-dr-mark-yarhouse/
Shredding Shame in a Pandemic” with Dr. Curt Thompson https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/shredding-shame-in-a-pandemic-with-dr-curt-thompson/
“Defining Stress and Success” with John Mark Comer https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/defining-stress-success-with-john-mark-comer/
“Start Where You Are” with Rashawn Copeland https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/start-where-you-are-with-rashawn-copeland/
“Intro to the Gardens’ Series Part 2” with Matt and Laurie https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/an-introduction-to-the-gardens-series-part-1-with-laurie-matt-and-steve/
“Marriage and Mental Health” with Aaron and Jamie Ivey https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/marriage-and-mental-health-with-aaron-jamie-ivey/
We also get honest about how we feel about how this season went, and we look ahead to the summer and fall (SEASON FIVE!) Thanks for being a part of what made this season really sweet. There is no reason to do this thing without you.
I Highlights I
“We’re trying to be proactive, to make the Church a place where it’s safe to wrestle with things, and one of the primary ways we can do that is to really stop worshipping at the feet of marriage and start worshipping at the feet of Jesus.” -Laurie Krieg
I Do the Next Thing I
Please take our survey to help us do next season even better! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/DK62VGV
Are you interested in any LGBT+/sexuality/Church oneness trainings we do? Email Michele at events@lauriekrieg.com
Are you interested in that Impossible Marriage Intensive Retreat? Contact Michele at events@lauriekrieg.com !
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/564911383
We think this episode might be worth listening to more than once.
It’s that good and that important…especially this month (Pride Month).
Author and teacher, Rebecca McLaughlin, takes some of the real-life theological conversations many of us are having right now and helps us to respond with grace and truth.
She explores these questions and more:
-How can we respond kindly and truthfully when people say to us, “Love is love! Why can’t you just love people!”?
-What can we say when people tell us that holding to a historical biblical view of marriage is intrinsically harmful (ie. It encourages suicidal behavior)?
-What if people point at slavery being acceptable in the Bible, “And it was wrong about that, so it must be wrong about ‘homosexuality’”?
-What if friends also say, “How can you prevent people from loving who they want to love?”
We’re going to go there, friends. We need to—with grace, love, and truth.
| Do the Next Thing: |
Find all of Rebecca’s books here: https://www.rebeccamclaughlin.org
Follow us and what we are up to here: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
“I used to think I was the only one who was lonely. After all, when you look around, other people don’t look lonely. They just look like they are drinking a latte.” —Dr. Kelly Flanagan
Goodness, this quote from Dr. Kelly Flanagan’s new book, "True Companions: A Book for Everyone About the Relationships That See Us Through," gripped us.
If loneliness is that deep-seated reality that you have corners of your heart that only you and Jesus understand, aren’t we all lonely? And isn’t it time we admit it?
Dr. Kelly Flanagan thinks it’s not only time to admit our lonely realities but to befriend loneliness. After talking with him and reading his book, we are convinced we should do the same.
Okay…but as we/before we do this, we have a few questions:
What is the difference between loneliness and isolation?
How much are our friends/family/the Church responsible for alleviating isolation and how much is on us to process with Jesus?
Why is befriending this loneliness journey better than avoiding with Netflix and wine?
Pull up your own loneliness to the table and listen in to what we found to be a beautiful, de-isolating, honest conversation
I Highlights I
“A lot of us think of lonely as a feeling that goes along with a certain set of conditions. But when I’m talking about loneliness, I’m talking about it as a fact, like a fact of our humanness.” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan
“[T]o love companionably, to love with the love that we call phileo...is to come alongside, to enter into the life, to say, ‘I’m gonna walk along with you in this.’” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan
“We have to cultivate the capacity to create spaces of non-doing.” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan
“A thousand hearts [on Instagram] leaves us feeling isolated....We need to be attentive to populating our lives with people who we are working together [with] to see each other and understand each other as well as we can.” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan
I Do the Next Thing I
Go get Dr. Kelly’s books, "True Companions" and "Lovable"! https://drkellyflanagan.com/
Looking for someone to walk through it with you? Check out coaching with Laurie! https://lauriekrieg.com/product/one-coaching-session-with-laurie/
Follow Laurie on Instagram for updates on what’s going on next! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/?hl=en
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/559153307
If you disciple children in any capacity, how’s it going for you?
I mean, we have all gone through a lot in the last year, and so have young people.
Today, author and teacher, Dr. Michele Anthony, comes alongside us to help us care for kids’ hurting hearts.
Together, we explore:
How can we teach kids to hear God’s voice? (Is it even possible?)
How can we lead kids as a “spiritual parent” instead of a “fear-based” one? (And what does it even mean to parent spiritually?)
How can we help children to have a gospel-centered identity?
Only the easy questions today. ;) Join us?
I Highlights I
“First, God is in charge.” -Dr. Michelle Anthony (quoting her daughter)
“[Spiritual parenting] means I have an audience of One. It means I’m not parenting for the whole world to say I’m a good parent; I’m parenting before God to say, ‘I’m really taking seriously that you entrusted this child to me.’” -Dr. Michelle Anthony
“[Spiritual parenting is] done in concert with the Holy Spirit.” -Dr. Michelle Anthony
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out more of Michelle at her website! http://michelleanthony.org/about/
For updates on our ministry and connection to other listeners, join our Facebook group! https://m.facebook.com/groups/434827357279517
When we look at churches and ministries today, we often don’t see Jesus.
Instead, we see scandal. Abuse. Toxicity.
What do we do with this? How do we change and prevent it?
Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer have an answer: tov.
Tov is the Hebrew word for “good,” and it’s who God is and who He calls us to be. As Scot says it, tov is “the redemptive dimension of churches that can prevent them from toxicity.”
We need more of this.
Let’s listen in.
I Highlights I
“This [book] was really a work of faith for me, realizing that God is in the wounded. That He’s with the wounded, He’s with the resisters. And I’ve found that, sadly, churches silencing victims was so discouraging and so disorienting. But what I found through the journey was that, that is not God, that God is truth and that God, like I said, is with the wounded.” -Laura Barringer
“The gospel is about the goodness of God—God is tov—because He is Himself tov, and therefore, we get incorporated into that kind of gospel and it just fills us with tov and goodness! And we want to be that kind of person in the world, because that’s the way Jesus was.” -Scot McKnight
“Who are we talking about when we leave the church? Are we talking about God? Are we talking about Jesus? Are we talking about the Spirit? Are we talking about the fellowship of the saints and the worship? Or are we talking about how great the pastor was [and] how great the church was?…When that’s the commentary in the car on the way home, we’re on the verge of trouble.” -Scot McKnight
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Scot and Laura’s book, A Church Called Tov, here. https://www.amazon.com/Church-Called-Tov-Goodness-Promotes/dp/1496446003
Here’s Scot’s blog! https://www.christianitytoday.com/scot-mcknight/
Looking for someone to be in the trenches with you? Laurie’s super down! Check it out here. https://lauriekrieg.com/product/one-coaching-session-with-laurie/
Also, guys! We are looking for partners in our ministry! If you’re interested, join us over here: https://lauriekrieg.com/partner/
For updates on our ministry, check out Laurie’s Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/?hl=en
Oh, you guys. This conversation…
It’s not often Matt and I (Laurie) are surprised by our guests, but we were surprised in the best way today.
Podcaster, author, and boss-mom, Jamie Ivey, and pastor, author, and tender-hearted dad, Aaron Ivey, got real—like really real.
Matt and I were going along, simply enjoying the conversation with these incredibly humble and kind people, and then Therapist Matt asks a question about how childhood wounding relates to marriage pain. (Way to go, counselor!)
We suddenly took a left turn, and found ourselves talking about Aaron’s recent clinical depression diagnosis.
What contributed to it?
How did Jamie respond?
What if we have been feeling similarly this last year, but are sick of people saying, “Oh yes, everyone is depressed. It’s 2020/21.”
Ooo, friends. This is a rich one.
I Highlights I
“Oneness takes work.” -Laurie Krieg
“[Our] friendship turned into deep abiding love, and that’s what’s kept us through the whole [marriage].” -Aaron Ivey
“My advice would be….to pray. [It] would really, really be to pray. And no pray, ‘Oh that they come around,’ or whatever, but pray that they fall in love with Jesus. Because I honestly think that [in] falling in love with Jesus, a lot of the pieces that we’re wanting to get fixed, they fall into place that way.” -Jamie Ivey
“Single people need to hear and understand: You have value and purpose and there’s something that God has for you to do right now in your singleness. Because if you can wrap your mind around that, then you can then marriage won’t be this thing that you feel like you can finally get to and THEN do something awesome with your life.” -Aaron Ivey
“There is no shame with mental health. None.” -Aaron Ivey
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out the Ivey’s book! https://www.amazon.com/Complement-Surprising-Choosing-Together-Separate/dp/1535996692/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=complement&qid=1621016120&sr=8-1
Jamie mentioned interviewing Aaron on her podcast. Find that episode here! https://jamieivey.com/hh369/
Also—here’s that one time Jamie interviewed us! https://jamieivey.com/hh363/
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/549424824
And while you’re checking out books, here’s ours! https://www.amazon.com/Impossible-Marriage-Mixed-Orientation-Taught-Gospel/dp/0830847936/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=impossible+marriage&qid=1621016099&sr=8-1
Check out our free resources here. lauriekrieg.com/resources
Learn more about what we offer—including coaching with Laurie—here. lauriekrieg.com/shop
Stay up-to-date with the ministry by following Laurie on IG here. https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
This is another conversation we cannot engage too frequently: Friendship. How in the world can we do it well?
Real-life friends, authors, and founders of The Ruth Experience, Julie Fisk and Kendra Roehl, wisely and winsomely engaged Laurie’s latest habit of tossing quite challenging questions at guests. Together, the group explored:
How do we confront our friends? What about friend-shame? (If I feel that I have too few friends or not enough time for the ones I have?) Should we wait for friends to come to us or do we go to them? How do you know if you are asking too much of your friendships? Do guys do friendship differently? What if we are attracted to our friends?
I Highlights I
“If the girls of Jesus linked arms and did healthy community with one another, I think we would be an unstoppable force.” -Julie Fisk
“We can trust the Holy Spirit more than we think we can when it comes to relationships.” -Kendra Roehl
“God asks us to move, and He will meet us when we move, but He often pushes us out of our comfort zones. And as the girls who believe in Jesus, we are to be the inviters…I understand the desire…to be invited, but I have found more often than not, I have to be the inviter….Jesus frequently makes me take the step.” -Julie Fisk
I Do the Next Thing I
Want to hear more from Julie, Kendra, and the Ruth Experience? Head over to their website here. http://www.theruthexperience.com
Guys! The Journey Well Study is ON SALE this week! Check it out here. https://lauriekrieg.com/product/journey-well-study-explore-your-deepest-needs-and-how-to-meet-them/
Want to join a monthly, live Q and A conversation with Matt and Laurie and others who listen? Support the ministry and $15 or more a month and you’ll get exclusive access to this as well as other ministry exclusives and updates! https://lauriekrieg.com/partner/
Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/546704517
Why engage only one challenging topic concerning women when you can engage more?
Such as…
What is biblical feminism (and should we call ourselves biblical feminists if we are pro-woman)?
What does it mean to be feminine?
Is there a right and wrong when it comes to marriage: complementarian or egalitarian?
Bible teacher and author, Phylicia Masonheimer, handles all of these questions and more with aplomb. (Yes, aplomb.)
Pull up an earbud, friends, and join this really enjoyable conversation.
I Highlights I
“What I found in Scripture was that the heart of the person and their desire to walk with the Lord and evidence the fruit of the Spirit is God’s top priority. And some of those extra personality traits? They’re just the freedom that He gives us to express that personality, as long as we’re surrendering it to the Lord.” -Phylicia Masonheimer
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out more of Phylicia’s work at her website! https://phyliciamasonheimer.com
Here's an article on soft complementarianism that we mention in the episode! https://www.patheos.com/blogs/adrianwarnock/2012/09/gender-roles-a-complementarian-and-egalitarian-spectrum/
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/544085536
ALSO—here’s our new favorite Bible. Check it out! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
We are not sure there is a bigger, more delicate, more divisive, or more misunderstood conversation in Christendom right now than how to approach the trans* conversation.
So, we’re bringing in the best expert on the conversation right now: our dear friend of the podcast (and in real life!), Dr. Preston Sprinkle.
Together, we explore:
If we hold to a historically Christian view of marriage (believing it is between one man and one woman) how does that affect our beliefs on gender? Does it?
Should Christians transition?
Is this whole thing just a big trend?
How can we love beloved, trans* image bearers like Jesus?
No longer can we offer pat answers or avoid the whole thing, dear family. Let’s dive in together.
I Highlights I
“Think deeply and love widely.” -Preston Sprinkle
“We need to look through these identities to the person. And really have the kindness and patience of Christ to get to know this human being in front of you.” -Preston Sprinkle
I Do the Next Thing I
Explore more of Preston’s work, especially his book, Embodied, here! https://www.prestonsprinkle.com
Check out our new favorite Bible! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
When you think of the word “rejection,” what comes to mind?
When you were a kid and were the last one chosen for kickball?
Junior high lunch room not knowing where to sit?
Maybe you think of last week when that person didn’t text you back?
No matter what comes to mind, most of us wouldn’t put rejection in the “gift” file of our minds. However, author and dating coach, Kait Warman, has a different view:
After processing the deep pain of rejection with Jesus, she has learned to be grateful for it.
How, Kait? Seriously, how do you do that?! Let’s go, friends.
I Highlights I
“In the wake of a rejection, we wanna see six months ahead. We wanna know next week, next month, and we wanna see the future….So my prayer usually to God in the wake of a rejection is, ‘God, would you give me the grace just to handle today?’” -Kait Warman
I Do the Next Thing I
Head over to Kait’s website for more resources! https://kaitness.com/about-kaitness/
Watch this conversation! (COMING SOON)
Check out our new favorite Bible! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
We’re asking the question again: How do we engage racial divides well?
The topic of race has faded from the trends the last few months—but for Christ-followers, the work is just beginning. We have a lot of ground to cover and many questions along the way. Never fear, though; our Savior is walking with us!
Pastor Daniel Hill is here to walk with us as well, taking us with him on his own journey.
Friends? Will you join us as we explore this topic even more deeply than before?
I Highlights I
“For me, the most important aspect of repentance is this acknowledgment that Jesus Christ has a perspective on the problem of race that I don’t currently share. He sees it in a way that I don’t currently see it. So to repent is to say that I don’t have the mind of Christ in this arena and I want to have the mind of Christ.” -Daniel Hill
“Racism is built on this lie about human value. It says that some people are superior—white—and some people are inferior—black—and then it measures—Asian, Middle Eastern, Latino—it measures based on the proximity to those two poles….We just have to see that those lies have very real impact. They don’t just mess up souls. They mess up neighborhoods, they mess up communities. They mess up all kinds of other things.” -Daniel Hill
“It’s not a political issue at all; it’s an Imago Dei issue.” -Daniel Hill
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out David’s writing at his website! https://www.rivercitychicago.com/daniel-hill
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/535045004
Here’s our new favorite Bible—check it out! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Goodness, we loved this conversation.
Two-time author and one of our favorite friends of the podcast, Greg Coles, is back to mentor us. On what? Well, our friendships.
Questions we explore include:
How did you know you were called to singleness + celibacy (and not marriage)? What does belonging mean if we are feeling lonely? Can we have a social life with Jesus?
What does it mean to say (and believe) "God is enough"? How can married + single people build each other up? How should the Church interact with our social lives?
We'd love for you to join us.
I Highlights I
“It’s actually in the reckless pursuit of Jesus that you find yourself being given a much better belonging than you thought you could possibly earn.” -Greg Coles
“There’s...this broader claim that...with human beings, they’re actually intended to share life with one another to see the face of God reflected in the image of God around them in these Image-Bearers.” -Greg Coles
“Jesus is not a God who interacts with us at a distance.” -Greg Coles
“It actually matters so little what I can do, or what I can recognize, or what I can wrap my head around, or what I can cling to—because all the most important clinging is the clinging that Jesus is doing...to me.” -Greg Coles
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Greg’s new book, along with his other content, on his website! https://www.gregorycoles.com
Want to hear more of Greg on the podcast? Check it out here! https://lauriekrieg.com/category/lgbt/
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/532687421
And check out our new favorite Bible! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
In 2019, between 6-11% of US adults had symptoms of an anxiety or depressive disorder (CDC). By the end of 2020? Between 39 and 42% of US adults experienced anxiety or depression (Journal of Public Health).
We need help, and psychology professor and author Dr. Peace Amadi is here to offer it.
When should we call a therapist? Why should we? How can we walk with each other through this (if the therapist’s waiting list is 6-months long)?
Let’s go, friends. No shame, no judgment, let’s just care for each other like Jesus cares for us.
I Highlights I
“The absolute first step is just to pause and listen and name the pain….Whatever it is, it’s so important to name it. That can’t be overstated. Because when you name the pain, you basically tell yourself that it’s real and it deserves attention and that there’s something that your body, your mind, your psyche is trying to tell you.” -Dr. Peace Amadi
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Peace’s work and latest book! http://peaceamadi.com
If you’re looking for a “friend in the trenches,” check out our coaching resources! lauriekrieg.com/shop
Also, check out our new favorite Bible! https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Watch this conversation! (COMING SOON)
And for more on the stats posted above, visit the following sites:
https://academic.oup.com/jpubhealth/advance-article/doi/10.1093/pubmed/fdaa250/6078709
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/covid19/pulse/mental-health.htm
If you are a parent or discipler of students, have you ever gone to bed kicking yourself for all of the ways you missed your child or student's heart?
"Why didn't I say this? Why did I say that? How can I do better next time?"
If so, we can relate, and so can bestselling author Crystal Paine. Crystal never thought she would write a parenting book, and when her child was getting kicked out of school for poor choices, she especially couldn't picture it.
But sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom of something to really experience God's grace in it. That is what happened to Crystal, and now she approaches parenting and discipling young people totally differently: She sees she can't fail.
What? How is that possible? Please, teach us how?
Crystal will in today's conversation as we continue our gardens' series. Join us?
I Highlights I
“I was constantly just correcting, but I was spending so little time connecting.” -Crystal Paine
“There’s just this beautiful rest and freedom as a mom, because it’s not about my kids’ choices—it’s about being able to walk with them.” -Crystal Paine
I Do the Next Thing I
To learn more about Crystal, head over to her website, MoneySavingMom.com!
Also, check out Crystal’s book, Love-Centered Parenting: The No-Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids, here! https://www.amazon.com/Love-Centered-Parenting-No-Fail-Guide-Launching/dp/0764237225
BONUS: Check out one of our new favorite Bibles at: https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Will you consider partnering us? Learn more here! https://lauriekrieg.com/partner/
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/526352867
Anyone else out there struggle to experience Jesus sometimes?
We feel you.
Personal, intimate experiences with Christ are hard to find in our chaotic world. Today, Carolyn Schroeder (Laurie’s real life mentor!!!) is here to invite us into Jesus’ presence and teach us how to have those experiences wherever we are!
Join us as we dive into deeper relationship with our Savior and Healer today.
I Highlights I
“God had to get me to the place of being powerless and desperate for Him so that I could be a receiver.” -Carolyn Schroeder
“My sins cannot condemn me, because there’s a solution to sin. And everyday, I take that solution.” -Carolyn Schroeder
“Only a life lived in anticipation of [God’s] goodness can live in the chaos we live in.” -Carolyn Schroeder
I Do the Next Thing I
Would you consider partnering with us in our mission? Click here to learn more! https://lauriekrieg.com/partner/
Check out Carolyn’s recommendations for time with Jesus: - Lectio 365: https://www.24-7prayer.com/dailydevotional - 1010 Thrive Podcast: https://www.audible.com/pd/1010-Thrive-Podcast/B08JJM4X8Z
And here’s Carolyn’s prayer featured at the end of the episode! (COMING SOON)
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/522938791
Okay, friends, let’s play “would you rather”...
Would you rather have an all-expenses paid, two week vacation in a tropical oasis—but there is one catch: You have to be discontent every second of the trip.
Or, would you rather be locked up in jail, and you are cold, hungry, have few clothes, but you know God called you there, and so all you want to do is joyfully, contentedly worship God—so you do.
Likely, most of us would pick the second option. But what does that choice tell us? We think it says contentment is critical and our circumstances don’t matter as much as we might think they do.
But how in the world can we become content?
How does contentment relate to our time, money, and talents that we are called to steward?
Do we need to still give if we are achingly tired and legit feel like we have nothing inside to offer another?
Let’s get after it, friends. Let’s dive into the stewardship garden with pastor and author (and all-around awesome dude) Dr. Andrew Davis.
I Highlights I
“Christian contentment is that sense in the heart--based on the fatherly love of God—of trusting in Him, the decisions He makes for our lives. So a lot of it has to do with submission, a faith-filled submission to our Heavenly Father and what He chooses to do with our lives, and that sense that we have of peace and joy as we trust our Heavenly Father.” -Dr. Andrew Davis
“I think you can actually go through your whole Christian life and never learn [contentment]. I think you can be a complaining…murmuring, frustrated person and still be fruitful—but you won’t be as fruitful.” -Dr. Andrew Davis
“You need to be evidently hope-filled.” -Dr. Andrew Davis
“Jesus said no one lights a lamp and puts it under a bowl; he puts it up on a stand. Could it be the stand is suffering? He’s gonna put you on a stand and make you shine in a dark place…[C]ontentment enables you to be a steward of that situation.” -Dr. Andrew Davis
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out TwoJourneys.org to learn more about Andy! https://twojourneys.org/more/andy-davis/
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/520125971
How do we cultivate our minds?
Today, we'll tackle this question with the always-joyful Dr. Kathy Koch, a child development expert, long-time minister, and (new!) partner with Impossible Ministries! We'll especially be taking a look at "the eight smarts," which are:
Word-smart: They think in words. When they're excited, they usually talk or write. They often thrive in school. Logic-smart: They think with questions. They ask more questions when they're excited. Usually, they like math and science, and they love things to make sense. Picture-smart: They think with their eyes, in pictures. Pay attention to color, design, where things are placed on a page. Art and creativity, fiction, history, and Bible are strengths of theirs. Music-smart: They think with rhythm and melodies. When they're excited, they hum or tap or dance. They go after the musical disciplines. Body-smart: They think with movement and touch. Love to experience life through movement. They may be athletic or artistic, culinary or theatrical. They are hands on, no matter what. Nature-smart: They think with patterns. They would rather be outside than inside. Their strengths are often in biology, meteorology, or earth science. People-smart: They think with other people. They brainstorm, collaborate, coordinate. When they are excited, they talk to others and get feedback. Self-smart: They think on their own. They reflect inside of themselves. When they're excited, they engage in more self-reflection. They are quiet but have a lot to say. Often counselors, teachers, salespeople. All of us have them at different levels, and everyone has a few that they excel in. These are connected with Dr. Kathy's take on the core needs (she has five):
Security: Who can I trust? Identity: Who am I? Belonging: Who wants me? Purpose: Why am I alive? Competence: What do I do well? Give it a listen to see how you fit into all of this!
I Highlights I
“For me, it was wisdom that started [my relationship with Jesus], love that completed it—other people might have that in the opposite direction.” -Dr. Kathy Koch
“We can pursue righteousness, and we should—but we don’t have to be perfect. And we have a loving, full-of-grace-mercy-and-hope-and-truth God who receives us when we mess up and acknowledge it.” -Dr. Kathy Koch
“One of the questions is “Am I smart?” And I like to tell children the answer is always yes because God doesn’t make stupid people!” -Dr. Kathy Koch
“Jesus did not die that you would have an abundant school experience. No! It’s abundant life! And life is abundant when ALL of life is abundant!” -Dr. Kathy Koch
I Do the Next Thing I
Thank you so much to the CSB Bible for sponsoring the podcast!! (Our first sponsorship!!) Check them out: https://csbholylandillustratedbible.com
Check out Kathy Koch’s website to see her book, Eight Great Smarts, and more! https://celebratekids.com/books/
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/517334612
For more about the Garden’s Series, listen to Episodes 159 and 160! https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/an-introduction-to-the-gardens-series-part-1-with-laurie-matt-and-steve/
Anyone else feeling a bit down about your physical self these days?
Why don't we have Sarah Young offer her thoughts? Sarah is a marriage and sex therapist who has wrestled with her body image. Together, we cover:
What should single people do with their sexuality? How do we stop hating ourselves into liking ourselves? What if we never talk about sex in our marriage? What is the ultimate form of intimacy--for real? How can the Church help?
We'd love for you to join the conversation.
I Highlights I
"[H]ow do I care for my heart and validate the struggle in the midst of the noise? How do I take on my own battle, my own journey, my own questions, frustrations, hesitancies? I have to have a safe place to do that. And hopefully that's how we show up as the church for everyone: our friends who are single, our friends who are married--wherever our community finds themselves." -Sarah Young
I Do the Next Thing I
Read A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Doug Rosnau. https://www.amazon.com/Celebration-Sex-Enjoying-Sexual-Intimacy/dp/0785264671
Check out this article by Phylicia Masonheimer. https://phyliciamasonheimer.com/how-to-celebrate-your-sexuality-as-a-single-woman/
Join an event of ours--here's one in early March! https://www.ignitewomen.org
Reach us with your questions at lk@lauriekrieg.com !
Thanks, as always, for rating and reviewing the podcast!
It's time to bring even more color and clarity to the Oneness Mountain in this second part of our introduction to the Gardens Series!
Today, Matt and Laurie bring examples and Core Needs so we can better see that life is more than a timeline. It is more like a group of gardens to cultivate with each other and Gardener God.
After you listen, will you let us know the answer to the question: "How is your church community doing at cultivating oneness (unity, intimacy) right now? What's one way they/you are doing it well?" Let us know so we can encourage each other with practical care! (Email: podcast@lauriekrieg.com)
This week we cover:
I CORE NEEDS I
Affirmed: Overwhelmingly approved of
Desired: Specially chosen—no pretense necessary
Included: Wanted in this group, team, or partnership; I belong
Loved: Unconditionally accepted
Nurtured: Cared for; held
Purposed: Filled with a sense of profoundly mattering
Rested: Re-centered and reset in mind, body, spirit; includes having fun
Delighted In: Seen as unique and special
Protected: Unafraid; trusting everything is under control
Noticed: Seen inside and out
I GARDEN BARRIERS I
Rocks: Sin done to us, or the effects of the Fall on us (unchosen)
Weeds: Sin tendencies within us (These are still unchosen defaults (temptations), but we have a choice of whether we will engage the sinful tendencies.)
Broken Fence: Covenant break of any variety (affairs, porn, "what if" questions such as "What if I left?" or "What if I married that person?")
Mold: Aggravation of our circumstances (lies, bitterness, the enemy influence)
To see the Seven Gardens, see Episode 159. https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/an-introduction-to-the-gardens-series-part-1-with-laurie-matt-and-steve/
I Do the Next Thing I
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/511829878
Email us with your answer to the above question! (podcast@lauriekrieg.com)
We at HIMH often about how “marriage and singleness are equally valuable modes we fulfill the mission to make disciples.”
But how can we to-our-core believe this if we view life only as a timeline? … You are born, you go to school, you get married, you make Christian babies, you tithe, and you die.
“Single people?” Married people say with this timeline in mind. “Uh, yeah, you’re valuable. You don’t fit the script, but you’re great!!!!!!”
We married folk are well-meaning, but a tad insincere.
However, if we do not view life simply as a timeline, rather a group of gardens to cultivate with Gardener God?
Suddenly, life gets interesting. It’s 4D. We truly view each other as equally valuable, and as necessary to thriving as the Body of Christ.
Throw on some overalls and grab a trowel; it's time to join Matt and Laurie as they unpack Intro Part 1 to the Gardens Series.
I The Gardens: I
Intellectual: Engaging topics of the mind about things that are traditionally non-emotional like concepts, ideas, facts
Physical: Connecting and caring physically such as hugs, hand-holding, sensual touch, sex, hugs, anything that cares for the physical/tactile body (physical exercise, eating healthy)
Emotional: Talking, crying, laughing, connecting to feelings, hopes, etc.
Spiritual: Church attendance, Bible study, worship, prayer
Social: Relational with each other and/or others
Stewardship: The way that we prioritize and direct the resources God has given us such as our skills, time, money, spiritual gifts, and votes
Family: Relationships to family including children, in-laws, and extended family
I Do the Next Thing: I
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/509052687
To see pictures of the Gardens, visit https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/an-introduction-to-the-gardens-series-part-1-with-laurie-matt-and-steve/
Get our book! (Chapter 5 is where you can read more!) https://lauriekrieg.com/shop/
We mentioned a test you can take to learn more? You can purchase the Impossible Marriage workshop here [https://lauriekrieg.com/product/ultimate-impossible-marriage-workshop-package/] or invite us to come to do a teaching or marriage workshop on this! Reach out to Michele at events@lauriekrieg.com.
Author and speaker Hannah Brencher talks real life:
She's wrestled with life-threatening depression, has been a viral TED speaker, and is here today to help us to get some soul stability if our mental health has taken a hit.
Together, we explore:
How can we put practices in place without feeling like legalists? How can we face the inner critic if he/she doesn't stop berating us? If we show up and fail, how can we recover?
2021 requires real life conversations, and Hannah's the right one for the job.
I Highlights I
“I knew in my soul, ‘You’re not gonna hide. You’re gonna show up anyway. You’re gonna do exactly what you would have done if you were the most confident person in the world.’ And with each decision to just move forward anyway, that …inner critic loses some of its power.” -Hannah Brencher
“No one wins if you don’t show up in the world how you need to show up.... You’ll live this half-hearted life if you let fear have that amount of power over you.” -Hannah Brencher
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Hannah’s website to find her book, Fighting Forward, as well as so much more! https://www.hannahbrenchercreative.com
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/506349211
Follow Laurie on Instgram for updates! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/?hl=en
This is a needed conversation, and author and apologist Sean McDowell is the right one to have it.
As parents and ministry leaders, we don't always know how to answer Gen Z's toughest questions. Praise the Lord that Sean does, and that he's willing to help us to unpack ones like:
“Why would God keep me from loving whomever I want to love?" “Why do you call your attractions to the same sex brokenness? You are not broken.” “I just need to be free. Why are you stopping me from freedom?” “If I am attracted to the same sex, why would God call me to loneliness (ie. singleness)?” “Who cares about sex before marriage?”
Thanks, Sean, for being a helpful friend today on the podcast! (And for being a real friend to Laurie at the surprise ending that made her cry happy tears. Listen all the way to the end to hear it. :) )
I Highlights I
“If I could give one piece of advice, it would be to have conversations with your kids.” -Sean McDowell
“The point in this is that sex means something. So the final question...is if we communicate with our bodies and sex means something, then how do we love God and love other people with our bodies? What does that mean? And what does that look like?” -Sean McDowell
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Sean’s book, Chasing Love, as well as other resources, here! https://seanmcdowell.org/
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/user106633307/review/503627526/f0400ba4b0
Join our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
Buckle your seatbelts, friends. This episode gets a bit bumpy.
Maybe your family—like ours—has people with different political beliefs in it. When I (Laurie) chose to co-host this episode with my dad, I didn’t realize a major theme would be loving each other through differing political beliefs.
The major gift of this surprise theme was that by the end, we were all nodding in agreement with each other—unified in the gospel.
And oh yeah… the matchless Os Guinness may have been our guest, but he acted like a brilliant mediator guiding my dad and I (and our divided world?) toward grace for each other and a reliance on “true truth.”
Maybe you can relate to this conversation?
P.S. This was recorded before the mob at the capital, but the heart of it is still very much applicable.
I Highlights I
“People don’t realize the wonder of the gospel! So I give you the little phrase, 'Contrast is the mother of clarity.’ Every time you see what the alternatives [to the gospel] lead to, you come back with wonder, love, and praise at the difference the good news of Jesus makes.” -Os Guinness
“Remember how Elijah made people convinced that Jehovah was the real God was the miracle of the fire coming down. We can show miracles today, too….For…followers of Christ to love each other, despite their differences, is a powerful message to our very split world.” -Randy Heckman
“Hopelessness and despair are always pagan. The gospel always ends in a sense of hope.” -Os Guinness
“Have faith in God. Have no fear.” -Os Guinness
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out more of Dr. Guinness on his website! http://www.osguinness.com
Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/501090464
Join our Facebook group to find the Question of the Week and more! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
The world feels like it’s on fire, and if we are honest? Many of us have started or increased unhealthy habits to cope.
Some have turned to porn, the use of which increased globally by 11% (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32663384/) at the start of the pandemic.
But wait! If this is you or a friend? Before you turn away in shame or self-hatred, we pray and believe that this conversation with John Michael Cusick, licensed professional counselor, teacher, and author of Surfing for God will truly encourage you.
Discover the heart behind porn addiction and how you can overcome it—yes, even now while the world is on fire—on today’s episode.
I Highlights I
“I don’t see that the story of God presumes that we are more sinful than we believe. I would say that we’re more loved than we know and believe, but that we’re more broken than we understand. And that our sinful behaviors flow and overflow out of our brokenness.” -Michael John Cusick
“We all experience ongoing conversions of our heart where the love of God and the Holy Spirit gets down into the nooks and crannies of who we are. Or, more accurately, Christ already dwells in us, and the Spirit is there, and the Spirit comes up and out of those nooks and crannies as the layers of shame and the layers of lies and the rubble of trauma begin to fall away.” -Michael John Cusick
“Whenever there’s any kind of suffering, it becomes an opportunity and it’s a bridge to becoming who we are and living in our union with Christ, as opposed to a barrier.” -Michael John Cusick
“[O]ur biggest sin becomes that we settle for good enough as opposed to for the abundant life.” -Michael John Cusick
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Michael John Cusick’s website for more updates on what he’s doing! https://michaeljohncusick.com
Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/498439957
Join our Facebook group for updates! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
What’s your word for the year?
On this episode, Matt, Laurie, and Steve talk about what God has taught them in 2020 (yes—even in 2020!). Leaps of faith, major life changes, and—how could we forget?—Rona! Through it all, God has been faithful.
Heading into 2021, then, the crew also addresses what God is pointing to for the future—thus, our words.
With that—Happy New Year, and happy listening!
I Highlights I
“He is holding onto me when I’m not grabbing onto Him, when I grab for other things.” -Steve O’Dell
“[Transactional interaction] is not the Father’s heart. He gives generously ‘cause He is so kind, but He wants a relationship!” -Laurie Krieg
“And I remember feeling like, ‘God, did you bring us here to die?’ and He was just like, ‘Where were you? Have you not been watching what I’ve been doing?’” -Matt Krieg
I Do the Next Thing I
SUPPORT OUR NEW MINISTRY INITIATIVE! https://celebratekids.networkforgood.com/projects/119777-ignite-the-family-marriage-initiative
Join our Facebook group to get updates and join the conversation! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
OR find Laurie on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/?hl=en
Also—shameless plug—check out the Bible App and get started on a reading plan if you’re looking for deeper intimacy with God! https://www.bible.com/app
These days, it's so easy to fall into a "what-have-you-done-for-me-lately" mindset.
We like following that person, we enjoy that podcast, we appreciate that channel--but serve them? Partner with them? Nah.
Unless we do. We are so grateful for listeners who have stepped up to support and volunteer with our ministry--including the two we are highlighting today: Jon Leach and Amanda Mclaurin.
These two were more than hearers of the Word, they were doers...and we are forever grateful. Hear their story, their "why" for saying yes to the Spirit's prompting, and how we can lean in where God is calling each of us on today's episode.
Merry Christmas, guys!
I Highlights I
“I decided that if Jesus really meant that it was better that His Spirit was with me, then I could trust Him.” -Jon Leach
“If the only thing stopping me is fear, then it’s time to dig in and start praying for faith and courage to move forward.” -Amanda McLaurin
“As I was purposefully getting closer to Jesus, that proximity to Him, enabled me to to be passionate about His people and the people of the world that He cares about.” -Jon Leach
“I don’t wanna kick down a door that God has closed, but I also don’t wanna stop knocking just because there’s initial resistance.” -Amanda McLaurin
I Do the Next Thing I
See how you too can partner with us here! http://lauriekrieg.com/partner/
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/494470217
Join our Facebook group to get plugged into the Heart of the Matter with Jon and Amanda! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
Purity culture—yep, we’re going there.
Ladies and gents—if you’ve ever felt that your worth, dignity, or purity were wrapped up in your sexuality, this is for you.
On this episode, Rachel Joy Welcher, author of new book Talking Back to Purity Culture, helps us debunk the myths of sexuality that have come from purity culture.
Join us as we celebrate the gospel and all the gifts Christ gives—even in our sexuality.
I Highlights I
“You can’t stop your spouse from sinning if they want to sin—but you can sure love them!” -Rachel Joy Welcher
“You don’t fight sexual sin with sex. You fight sexual sin with self-control and love for the Lord and love for your neighbor.” -Rachel Joy Welcher
“Our dignity cannot be changed and our purity cannot be changed, if we are in Christ.” -Rachel Joy Welcher
I Do the Next Thing I
Pre-order Rachel Joy Welcher’s book, Talking Back to Purity Culture. https://www.racheljwelcher.com
Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/492536473
Join our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
2020 has been a year of uncertainty and suffering for all of us. Joy might be the farthest thing from our minds as we look back on this season of loss and chaos.
But guys? Joy is still God’s heart for us.
Today, we hear from Shaunti Feldhahn about how we can cultivate a habit of joy—even in the midst of the deepest loss and confusion. Join us as we hear from her on this delightful gift that God has given and called us to.
I Highlights I
“[Joy] is something that you actually have to pursue, because it is there. It’s like the Kingdom—You know, Jesus talked so much about “My kingdom” being here, and the reality is it’s there, it's all around us. The reality is God’s presence with us is as close as our heartbeat, right? It’s Jesus in us….And yet because of [our] sinfulness, it’s so easy for us to focus on everything else that is going to steal that joy from us.” -Shaunti Feldhahn
“[Joy] is there—but it is to be attended to.” -Shaunti Feldhahn
“How do you [rejoice?]...You think on whatever is excellent. You think on whatever is lovely. You think on whatever is worthy of praise, rather than whatever is worthy of driving you nuts!” -Shaunti Felhahn
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Shaunti’s latest book, Find Joy: A Devotional Journey to Unshakable Wonder in an Uncertain World. https://shaunti.com/tb-books/find-joy-devotional-journey-to-unshakable-wonder/
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/490057553
Do you remember even two or four years ago when you could remind stirred-up Christians, "Hey, guys? We got to love our enemies!" and they would often say, "Oh, yeah!"
Nowadays, when you say the same thing, it would not be unusual to hear something like, "Nah. I'm good."
Pastor and author Scott Sauls is here to wake us up with how to address our enemies in this sometimes-hostile 2020 world.
This is another conversation we will not soon forget.
I Highlights I
“Righteous anger attacks problems; raging anger attacks people….We’re supposed to love our enemies, not put them in their place.” -Scott Sauls
“Jesus didn’t flip tables on the woman caught in adultery.” -Matt Krieg
“I am so bad that I needed what Christ [did]—I needed the bloodbath on the cross in order to justly take care of what a trainwreck I am. And yet I was and am so loved by Him that He was not only willing but eager to go through the bloodbath in order to have me as His own. And if that’s what I’m operating out of, I just don’t know how you’re gonna offend me after that.” -Scott Sauls
I Do the Next Thing I
Check out Scott’s book, A Gentle Answer! https://scottsauls.com/books/
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/487412890
Join our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
It’s Thanksgiving in the States!
Today, from our respective shelter-in-place spots (again!), we are sharing what we are grateful for and hearing from you. Not only that, however, but we are sharing what we have learned in this very hard year, and how we can take that good, suffering-produced fruit into 2021. We are thankful for YOU guys, today!
I Highlights I
"I’m thankful for how much it’s had to scrape away false identities that I didn’t even know that I was holding onto. Because I am so ambitious and I have so much drive, that it could kill me—and us [Matt and Laurie]. I’m not saying I’m on the brink of breaking apart but I just was like, 'Jesus, I need your help.' Because I can make that my identity. And I’m so thankful for His surgeon-like precision of being like, 'Laurie, I’m your identity. It’s only me. Whether you "succeed" or fail—whatever. None of that matters. Just be in Me and you’ll produce much fruit—whatever that fruit is.' I am learning deeper intimacy as He strips away more of my false identities." -Laurie Krieg
I Do the Next Thing I
Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/484638879
We have been on pins and needles waiting to release this episode to you all! It is one of those episodes we can't stop thinking about...
Author and pastor, John Mark Comer, brings it. He helps us to think deeply about questions like, "What is success?" "What defines failure?" "What do we do when we are overwhelmed with the calling God has on our lives?" "How do we understand our identity in the midst of the culture we live in?"
Pop in those earbuds and go on that walk, do those dishes, make that Thanksgiving meal, but you may find you need to pause and take notes because this brother has some encouraging and exhortative things to say.
I Highlights: I “For Paul, Christ did not die so that we do not have to. Christ died to show us how to die.” -John Mark Comer
“The great trajedy of Western life is [that] it’s a lie. Nobody—even the most successful—nobody just keeps climbing the mountain. At some point, you face suffering, pain, failure, rejection, mistakes, regret, and often we don’t see it in the people we lionize, but that’s branding. It’s not because it’s not there.” -John Mark Comer
“So in the old metrics, you knew if you were a good person if you were faithful to your spouse and you raised your children well and you worked hard that day. In the new metrics, you know if you’re a good person, so to speak, based on how many Instagram followers you have, how cool you are, how beautiful you are, how successful you are—these are brutal, punishing metrics that produce massive anxiety, fear, and existential angst in people. Which is why I think much of the gospel for Millennials and Gen Z going forward will be a better way to do identity.” -John Mark Comer
I Do the Next Thing: I
Check out John Mark Comer’s books, especially the latest The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry! https://johnmarkcomer.com
Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/481881818
Help us out! Review the podcast for us wherever you listen :)
Walking alongside people who wrestle with their gender identity is such a unique journey.
Because it is so unique and often very complex, it's wise to hear from the experts, don't you think? Dr. Mark Yarhouse is one of the preeminent gender + psychology + Christianity experts, and we brought him on to share about his new book, Emerging Gender Identities, and help us to learn how to walk better alongside our friends who experience some level of gender + body dissonance.
I Highlights: I
“If you’re just a natural object, like a chemical compound…chemical compounds don’t interact with their classification. But if you classify people, a human kind, human beings respond and react to the language and categories you give them, and they begin to think of themselves differently.” -Dr. Mark Yarhouse
“I don’t know that the ministry approach we’re taking to shepherding people is meeting people where they’re at. Because when you have to announce kind of a final decision of, ‘I was facing this fork in the road that was like a crisis for me”—maybe existentially, spiritually, psychologically—“and I was facing this and I didn’t bring anybody in from the church, or at least from the elders and shepherding pastors”…Rather than look at them and say, ‘Can we make sure that you do the right thing?’ I’m gonna look at myself and say, ‘Where are we not connecting in ministry?’” -Dr. Mark Yarhouse
I Do the Next Thing: I
Get Dr. Yarhouse's book! https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/emerging-gender-identities-mark-yarhouse/1133988274
And listen to the podcast the last time we had Dr. Yarhouse! https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/walking-well-as-pastors-parents-and-therapists/
Have you ever struggled to find quiet? In the world, in your life, in yourself?
We’re here with singer/songwriter and now AUTHOR Jamie Grace to talk about what it looks like to find peace and center ourselves on the Lord in this crazy world we’re living in! Join us as we hear from her about artistry, anxiety, mental health, comparison, social media, and so much more!
I Highlights: I
“We have this misconstrued concept of what success is, and…we become so anxious as a culture and as a society and as a generation that we can’t find peace until we get the most, or the biggest, or the highest. And practically, we’ll never get the most or the biggest or the highest!” -Jamie Grace
“If I am constantly trying to pursue the best or the most or the biggest or to be loved by all, to be known by all, to have my story shared with all, I will be completely depleted.” -Jamie Grace
“It’s simply not worth it to pursue noise and volume.” -Jamie Grace
“I believe that my God is a healer….I’ve seen God heal, I know what He can do….But who am I to say that God using my testimony is not my healing?” -Jamie Grace
I Do the Next Thing: I
Follow Jamie Grace (and also Laurie) on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/jamiegraceh/
Order Finding Quiet, Jamie’s new book, here! https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/finding-quiet-jamie-grace/1136472144
Check out the Pause App by John Eldredge and go find some quiet! https://www.pauseapp.com
Note: Video didn’t go through this week! Sad day—but enjoy the podcast!!
It’s the Hole in My Heart Podcast LIVE!
True story: This was about Plan D of our celebratory-book-launch-party-worship fest (thanks, Rona!), but God was in it all the same.
Today, Matt, Laurie, Steve, and some special guests celebrate the work of the gospel through Matt and Laurie’s story and through you all.
There are testimonies, prizes, jokes, and GOOFBALL ISLAND is back for one night only. Thanks for being a part of this adventure, fam!
I Highlights: I
“You’ve wanted to write a book—A book—for a long time. But the fact that it’s this book reminds me that it’s the gospel that’s impossible. And as we live that out and reflect that through marriage or whatever we’re called to, we are living out an impossible thing because God’s the author of it. He calls us to impossible stuff, because He went first.” -Steve O’Dell
“Are you willing to give your whole life into HIs hands and say, ’Not my will but yours, God. Will you make this impossible possible? Will you shape me into what you want it to be?’ ….And watch what He does! ….It’s gonna be better than you could write."
I Do the Next Thing: I
ORDER THE BOOK!!! https://lauriekrieg.com
Watch this conversation! (COMING SOON)
Join the Hole In My Heart Facebook Page! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
What does “fasting from your desire from sex” mean, and why was it so significant to Matt? Why do so many male Christian leaders fall sexually? Is “maintenance sex” good for marriages? How can guys access their hearts more (and how can women help)?
Today we are concluding our deep-dive of themes in our Impossible Marriage book with a co-author, Matt Krieg.
Highlights:
“Oftentimes, because we are taught that sex is the thing that we're supposed chase—and we’re not supposed to be these emotional people, we’re supposed to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and get the job done…we just run to what feels good….It’s all very powerful, but it’s not just this physiological thing. It’s emotional.” -Matt Krieg
Do the Next Thing: Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/471437812
Order the book! https://lauriekrieg.com
Last day to register for the Impossible Marriage Workshop! https://my.calvarygr.org/default.aspx?page=3911&event=5048
Bonus: Check out Producer Steve on the radio! http://wcsg.org
We often encourage people to: "Live the Metaphor."
It means, "show us heaven in how you live and love." Sure, in our Impossible Marriage book we mainly use the phrase to exhort married people, but SINGLE PEOPLE LIVE THE METAPHOR, TOO. How? One of our favorites, Greg Coles, brings the heat, the love, and the real-time conviction about how single people equally give us a glimpse of heaven, too.
Bring it, Greg. Let's wake up, people.
Highlights:
“The Body of Christ is actually purposeful in having people are called to one vocation and another vocation, instead of turning us all into carbon copies of each other. So I think the healthy question that we can ask—any of us, single or married—as we’re thinking about fostering unity within the Body of Christ between us is, ‘How does my vocation equip me to serve the Body of Christ and to be the Body of Christ to the world in a way that a different vocation would not?’” -Dr. Greg Coles
“I think the more we see each other as purposefully different characters in this joint story, the more ready we are to live as one without thinking of ourselves as identical to each other.” -Dr. Greg Coles
Do the Next Thing:
Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/469187305
Register for the Impossible Marriage Workshop! https://lauriekrieg.com
Check out our “Live the Metaphor” merch! https://lauriekrieg.com/shop/
Check out Greg’s website (and his amazing book!) here. https://www.gregorycoles.com
When past trauma affects today's living, it can be challenging to function in any way.
In this first episode of our Impossible Marriage Moments' mini-series of three, we dive deep into that theme: Laurie experienced trauma's effects in her marriage, it magnetized to her attractions toward women, and together, they almost walked her to a divorce.
What can we do if past trauma is affecting us now? What if it's gripping someone we love? Author and therapist, Dr. Dave Beach, guides us brilliantly toward some next right steps.
I Highlights: I
“Loving attachment is the crucible for a lot of raw stuff but a lot of healing. We’re harmed in relationship and we’re healed in relationship.” -Dr. David Beach
“One of the facets of Jesus that I think brings us more compassion for others is ‘Jesus, Man of Sorrows.’” -Dr. David Beach
“[T]he beauty of a traumatized story with growth and reconstruction is it’s the imprint—the thumbprint, if you will—of God, [of] the gospel. Because that’s what happens in the life of Jesus.” -Dr. David Beach
I Do the Next Thing: I
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/466717786
Check out books by Dr. David Beach and his wife, Cynthia, here! https://www.thebanner.org/bio/dave-beach
Pre-order the IMPOSSIBLE MARRIAGE book! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/
Sign up for our Webinar! https://my.calvarygr.org/default.aspx?page=3911&event=5048
We often talk about sexuality or racial equity--but what about when both hit home?
Our new friend, Henry Abuto, helps us understand what it is like to live life as a Black man who is also a sexual minority (and an immigrant!), and how we can all engage each other like Jesus.
I Highlights: I
“When I’m not easily swayed by my emotions and I inform my feelings rather than just follow them blindly, that’s when I know I’m speaking from a centered place….If you [Laurie or Matt] leave conversations with each other after resolving conflict, do you feel encouraged and loved by that person, even through admonishment, or do you just feel beat down? If the person feels beat down and discouraged by the things you said to them, then even if you were correct, you were still wrong because of the posture of your heart.” -Henry Abuto
I Do the Next Thing! I
Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/464362651
Check out Henry Abuto’s articles here! https://www.henryabuto.com
That Barna research we referenced? Here: https://www.barna.com/research/american-christians-race-problem/
Pre-Order our book! :) https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/
He's Black. She's white. He has his past. She has hers. Then they get married.
Guys, we have our REAL LIFE FRIENDS in the house, and they are here to show us a microcosm of the critical bridging of divides that must happen in our world.
How do they bridge barriers in their marriage? What can we learn from them about bridging racial divides today? Chaplain of the Kent County jail, Jason Botbyl and his wife, Julie, are here to help us out.
I Highlights: I “I think to live life fully, especially in Christ, there needs to be this vibrant, diverse atmosphere, which I think people are really wanting right now.”-Jason Botbyl
“I know that I’m going to see someone that is made in the Image of God and I know that they need Jesus—that’s a fact. And so, let’s go see what Jesus has for the both of us today.” -Jason Botbyl
“The power of the gospel is just so redemptive—redeeming, buying back what was lost, what was broken.” -Julie Botbyl
“I just picture the cross. There’s this barrier, but I picture the cross in front of the barrier.”-Julie Botbyl
I Do the Next Thing! I Pre-Order the IMPOSSIBLE MARRIAGE book!! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/
Register for the Impossible Marriage Workshop! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/
If you’d like to connect with Jason and Julie, email Laurie at podcast@lauriekrieg.com.
I If you've been around the church for a while, you know the verse: I
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11 has been showing up on coffee mugs and social media posts for years...but what if, as Megan Fate Marshman says, "we've been holding onto the wrong promises"? Join us today as we hear from Megan about how to rightly interpret Scripture and hold onto the right promises--promises that will blow your mind if you let them. May you be deeply encouraged in the listening.
I Highlights: I
“‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future’ were words written to a specific people at a specific time and I fear we’ve been holding onto those as promises for ourselves. And we go through COVID-19 and it doesn’t feel like plans to do all of that so then we start to distrust our God, when we’ve been holding onto the wrong promises.” -Megan Fate Marshman
“The way Paul is defining good in Romans 8:29 is this: to form us more into the likeness of Jesus. And if that’s the case, if that’s God’s definition of good, than He can use all things.” -Megan Fate Marshman
“'Even if’ is not my common word. Too often, I use these words: ‘But God, what if?’ …’What if?’ breeds fear. ‘Even if’ breeds faith. And why can we say ‘even if’? Because God knows the plans: Jeremiah 29:11.” -Megan Fate Marshman
I Do the Next Thing: I Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/459591357
Get Megan’s new book, Meant For Good! https://www.meganfate.com/shop/meant-for-good
Pre-Order the Impossible Marriage book! (Releasing October 27th!!) https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/
I Do you wrestle with shame? I
Us, too.
Today, we hear from Curt Thompson, author of The Anatomy of the Soul and the Soul of Shame, about how shame affects us, specifically in this pandemic time. Join us as we learn the roots of shame, how to hear from God, practices that help deal with shame, how to meet each other in it--and even talk about Jesus' lightsaber! This week's episode is balm to the stressed and shame-filled soul and we are deeply grateful for Curt's wisdom.
I Highlights: I
“What's the next new thing that God is gonna create? What is the next artifact of beauty that’s gonna happen here in the next five minutes?” -Curt Thompson
“Shame isn’t now telling these stories for the first time, it’s just that COVID now gives these stories an opportunity to come full-blown into their maturation. It’s not like it’s creating our problems, it’s just revealing that these are the kinds of people that we are and these are the kinds of people that we always have been.” -Curt Thompson
“We are not just made to be known…We’re made to be known on the way to then create beauty and goodness in the world.” -Curt Thompson
I Do the Next Thing: I
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/457103596
Pre-Order the Book!!! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/
Listen to Episodes 64 and 65, where we discuss what shame is with Curt. https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/exploring-our-souls-of-shame-part-1/
Check out Curt Thompson’s books, The Soul of Shame and the Anatomy of the Soul. https://curtthompsonmd.com/books/
It’s almost LAUNCH WEEK!
Join us this week as we invite Ben and Lauren Schulke, leaders of the Impossible Marriage book launch team, into the studio to talk about the message of the book! We’ll hear about the Schulke’s story, some interesting marriage advice, highlights of the book, and—as always—how the gospel is good news for everyone, everyday.
I Highlights: I “How is the gospel good news to us right now? I really think it’s in this place of God wanting me to be kind to myself.” -Ben Schulke
“I don’t cry in books, even if they’re really good or really beautifully written, but this one, your book, I wept through most of it…They were tears of hope and joy...” -Lauren Schulke
“It kind of instigated this worship, I guess…Just thanking Jesus and worshiping Jesus because you guys couldn’t fix it! No one can fix this….I also hope that [the book] helps spring up hope in people, also understanding that…nothing’s going to fix a broken marriage….But Jesus can.” -Lauren Schulke
I Do the Next Thing: I Join our LAUNCH TEAM! The last day to sign up is Wednesday, the 9th! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/454785156
Listen to Ben and Lauren’s story here! https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/broken-beloved-pastors-part-1-with-ben-and-lauren-schulke/
I Raise your hand if you've ever felt lonely! I
In this pandemic world we're living in--and even more, just in general--loneliness is something we all experience--and none of us talk about. Today, we welcome Jason Gaboury, author of Wait With Me, to tackle the uncomfortable and vitally important topic of loneliness. Why do we experience it? What do we do about it? Where is God in the midst of it?
Join us as we answer these questions and more this week!
I Highlights: I
“What most people don’t know is that the Christian tradition, that the Bible itself, has powerful tools that can lead people through loneliness into deep connection with God, deep connection with themselves, and deeper compassion for other people.” -Jason Gaboury
“Jesus doesn’t skip to the end...God isn't that kind of God. [He is r]adically present to you…Radically present right here, right now, in the midst of this.” -Jason Gaboury
“That feeling of loneliness. That feeling of ‘I need to connect with other people for it to be right’—That’s not a result of the Fall, that’s not a result of sin. And the fact that we feel shame about needing other people is…because we’re formed as Western individualists, not biblical Christians. Biblical Christians should feel no more shame in feeling lonely than they do of their need for food and sleep.” -Jason Gaboury
I Do the Next Thing: I Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/452670205
Check out Jason Gaboury’s book, Wait With Me! https://www.ivpress.com/jason-gaboury
While you’re at it, check out “Spiritual Disciplines for Seasons of Loneliness,” also by Jason Gaboury. https://www.jasongaboury.com/blog/2020/5/28/spiritual-disciplines-for-seasons-of-loneliness
Join our BOOK LAUNCH TEAM! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/
I It’s Election Time! Is the gospel still good news...? I
Today, we invite Michael Wear, Chief Strategist of the AND Campaign, to discuss how to hold onto Christ’s heart in the midst of intense election year. For a few years now, Michael and the AND Campaign have been wrestling with the tension of unity and diversity, especially when engaging in politics. Join us as we discuss unity in the Body of Christ, primary and secondary issues, how to speak up with grace, and how to receive grace from Jesus as we vote.
I Highlights: I
“The vocational question that has sorta guided my life is, ‘What does it mean to be faithful in public things?’” -Michael Wear
"As Christians, in all of life, we are not responsible for the outcome of things that happen. We are to steward the influence and responsibility that we have in the most faithful way that we know how.” -Michael Wear
“The state of our politics is a reflection of the state of our souls.” -Michael Wear
I Do the Next Thing: I
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/450271055
Go and get Compassion and Conviction. Do it. https://www.ivpress.com/compassion-conviction
And follow & Campaign on all the things. It will edify you. https://andcampaign.org
While you’re clicking around, we’d love to hear from you via a review of the podcast, or simply by sharing the episode with a friend. “Hey, I thought you might like these guys.”
Also, you can now join our launch team for the NEW Impossible Marriage book! Do it today! https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/
I Has it ever been hard for you to come to Jesus? I
What do we do in those moments? When we are at the end of our rope, how to do we approach God exactly as we are?
Today, we welcome Rashawn Copeland, author of Start Where You Are, to discuss his experiences with these questions and more. Rashawn brings good and gracious wisdom to the table, inviting us to come to God from the place we're in--not where we think we should be--and trust Him to meet us there. Join us as we hear Rashawn's heart on this issue and others, always coming back to how the gospel is good news for everyone, everyday.
I Highlights: I
“I wouldn’t go to God as I actually was, I always went to Him how I pretended to be. And I just want to encourage someone to go to Him with a broken and contrite heart…That’s the sacrifice He loves. Come to Him…with all your mess, all your brokenness, and He’ll meet you there. He wants to. He’s longing. He said, ‘Draw near to Me, and I’ll draw near to you.'” -Rashawn Copeland
“Even if you feel too dirty, you’re not too dirty to be cleansed. You’re not too broken to be fixed. You’re not too unworthy to be loved. Just come to God as you are and He’ll take you where you need to be.” -Rashawn Copeland
I Do the Next Thing: I
This week's dare: share this podcast with ONE person!
Watch this Conversation! https://vimeo.com/447946879
Check out I'm So Blessed Daily's website here: https://soblesseddaily.com/
And like their Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/Imsoblesseddaily/
Pre-order Rashawn Copeland's book, Start Where You Are, today! https://www.startwhereyouarebook.com/
I Parents...this is your week! I
This week, Matt and Laurie take your questions on the advice they give to parents of LGBTQ+ kids--and, really, it's just good advice for everyone, always coming back to the gospel and the purpose of our lives in God's eyes. Topics include:
What is the advice we offer to all parents of LGBT+ kids?
Would we bake the cake/do the photography/do therapy for a same-sex couple?
How do we know if we are called to marriage or singleness?
I Highlights: I
“The most—for me—winsome reason for God’s design for marriage being between men and women is because we’re so different. God did that on purpose. Because if Matt and I, in our difference can be one...I’m showing you a gospel picture...” -Laurie Krieg
"I don’t know how to answer the singleness piece, but the marrying piece, it had to be [Laurie]. God didn’t want me to just marry anyone. He didn’t call me to general marriage—He called me to [Laurie].” - Matt Krieg
"It’s important to not make [marriage]...an idol, to not make that thing the focus of my worship, but to take it as a gift from the One I worship.” -Steve O’Dell
I Do the Next Thing: I
Watch this Conversation! (Coming Soon)
And while you're at it, check out Laurie's YouTube Channel! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKnRqqDarXvuDzeYDwG3_3A?view_as=subscriber
Listen to Episode #123: Single but Not Solitary with Peter Valk, to learn more about the call to singleness here: https://soundcloud.com/laurie-krieg/episode-123-single-but-not-solitary-with-pieter-valk.
Also, check out Greg Coles' book Single, Gay, Christian here: http://www.gregorycoles.com/book/
Jump on our sale this month--FREE SHIPPING on our Journey Well Study for the month of August! Find it here: https://lauriekrieg.com/product/journey-well-study-explore-your-deepest-needs-and-how-to-meet-them/
Sign up for our next webinar: "What We Tell Every Parent of an LGBT+ Child" on September 15th (it's free if you become one of our partners!). Find registration here: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_nCBDE76rRMy5X0OPe_VaYQ
I Welcome to Season 4! I
We're kicking off this season with a discussion on endurance and courage! What do we do when suffering hits and we're called upon to continue in the work God has given us? Join Matt, Laurie, and Steve as we explore practices and experiences that help build up "endurance muscles" for any form of suffering.
I Highlights: I
“More and more, [looking back] instills more trust that the God we worship is going to be with me.” -Matt Krieg
“Staying in the world, where God has us, is where endurance is required—and dependence on Him is required.” -Steve O’Dell
“...[I]f I can do that vulnerable place and open it up to Jesus, throughout the day, if I’m continuing that practice, I actually am able to receive surprises from Him.” -Laurie Krieg
I Do the Next Thing: I
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/443488884
Join our Facebook group for weekly discussions of each podcast! https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
Sign up for our next webinar Saturday, August 1, 9:30-11am EST to hear more about the practice of lament in everyday life! https://lauriekrieg.regfox.com/how-we-practice-lament-in-real-life
And here's the DARE this week: Share this podcast with ONE person!
Guys! It's the season three finale!
After walking through this episode, we felt this season gutted us in the best way and offered hope when we needed it.
We did get practical (our theme this season), and we did get real (our constant desire).
We were so grateful to listen back to highlight clips from some of our favorites and yours:
- Episode 99:A Gender Conversation Part 2 Heather Skriba
- Episode 92: Broken/Beloved Pastors Part 2 with Johnny and Amanda
- Episode 96: Healthy Friendship and Touch as a Single Person with Meg Baatz 4.Episode 104: Practically Living Life in the Presence of God with Ken Boa 5.Episode 109: When Life Doesn't Go as Planned with Sheridan Voysey
- Episode 128: Engaging Today's Suffering with Hope with Sam and Toni Collier
- Episode 116: Maturity is Not an Option with John Eldredge
Join us as we pick up themes from each episode, and, of course, talk about how the gospel was good news for us this season.
Thanks for being a part of the podcast fam, fam! See you in August!
You can find the links to all of the above episodes here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/season-3-recap-our-favorites-and-yours/
I Highlights: I
"I'm so glad that he's living in the open. And I know that pain of the deceit, and the having to hide and to mitigate every circumstance of being found out, and it's so much better on the other side." -Matt Krieg
"Every one of us can take something away from that because we've all experience some kind of heartbreak, disappointment...whatever. And...that just really helped me to...look at it differently. And that's what intimacy with God does, it reframes that stuff." -Steve O'Dell
"Let's get gritty...Let's turn into gold, because the fire's gonna hurt but if we're staying in the fire with Jesus and with each other, we are going to be gold." -Laurie Krieg
I Do the Next Thing: I
Watch this conversation: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/season-3-recap-our-favorites-and-yours/
Take our HIMH Podcast Survey to help us make season four the best yet!: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/PZC9C27
Take advantage of our BOGO deal for Journey Well: https://lauriekrieg.com/product/journey-well-study-explore-your-deepest-needs-and-how-to-meet-them/
Listen to Matt and Laurie's story here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/matt-and-lauries-stories-rebooted-and-your-premarital-questions/
And Producer Steve's story here: https://soundcloud.com/laurie-krieg/episode-5-producer-steves-story
Real talk: Authenticity seems to be currency we can "use" to deepen friendships, feel seen, or even to get more followers.
But that type of authenticity--that is an end in itself--isn't what we are calling "authentic authenticity." There is selfishness in it, and the fruit produced from it ... tastes gross.
How can we and why should we be truly authentic? How can single people experience this? How can married people if their spouse is unwilling to go to the emotional depths?
Let's get this this real conversation rolling with author and Fierce Marriage creator, Ryan Frederick.
Note: The QOTW we give at the end of this episode was answered in 128. 128's is answered next week in 131. ;) Sorry about that!
| Highlights: |
“The beauty of [speaking emotionally deep] is that it is not a skill that is un-learnable. It’s not something that people cannot overcome. The biggest hurdle is just the desire…until that desire is there, it’s like pulling teeth.” --Ryan Frederick
“One of the biggest issues of our day and age and culture is not the conscious, ‘I’m burying this thing because I just don’t want to got here,’ it’s more, ‘I’m just so distracted I’m not even thinking about going there.’” --Ryan Frederick
“Prayer is not nothing. What is prayer if it is not our expression of our need for God’s explicit intervention in our lives?” --Ryan Frederick
| Do the Next Thing: |
Watch this conversation! https://vimeo.com/430860353
Check out Ryan and Selena's latest book See-Through Marriage here: https://seethroughbook.com/?utm_source=fiercemarriage.com
Their Fierce Marriage site? Here: https://fiercemarriage.com
There's a conversation happening on our HIMH Pod FB page! Join it here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast/?ref=bookmarks
Take our end-of-season survey HERE! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/PZC9C27
Today is question and answer time with Matt and Laurie! We cover a lot including these questions:
How did we first meet Steve?
How do we handle Pride Month?
How do we plan to address our mixed-orientation marriage with our kids?
How can straight, single guys and girls be friends without the relationship getting weird?
If we, as a married couple, invite a single person into our home how can we prevent it from becoming a situation where one of us falls in love with the single person?
How can I care for my bisexual friend without compromising my beliefs or pushing my beliefs on her?
How can I be committed to a worldview that has caused so much pain and depression for so many LGBTQ+ people?
How do we grieve well—whether for trivial things or deep, human loss?
Let's go, fam.
| Highlights: |
“It always has to be this recognition of what is good about Pride Month—about people being able to be open and not hidden. But there is also this sorrow: … the unity that comes from Pride Month is not oriented toward your relationship with God, it’s about something completely different.” —Matt
“Ya’ll, we got to repent for the last x decades of idolatry of marriage, idolatry of sex in marriage, and really? Not honoring this thing that we have eye-rollingly said is ‘Every man’s battle, every woman’s battle,’ and ‘Oh, just hurry up and get hitched and put a ring on your lust.’” —Laurie
“Yes, it costs LGBT+ people something to follow Jesus, but the gospel should cost all of us our lives. And if it is not, are we actually following Jesus?” —Laurie
| Do the Next Thing: |
Watch this conversation on Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/428642123
That BOGO deal for our Journey Well Study? (We will send you two for the price of one!)It's here: https://lauriekrieg.com/product/journey-well-study-explore-your-deepest-needs-and-how-to-meet-them/
We mention "Safe Place Prayer with Matt" podcast episode. It's here: https://soundcloud.com/laurie-krieg/bonus-safe-place-prayer-with-matt
Follow us on the IG: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
FIRST: We have VIDEO!! WATCH this episode here: https://vimeo.com/426335066
In the midst of national and global suffering, it seems almost wrong to put the word "hope" near it.
However, pastor and author Sam Collier, alongside his wife and ministry leader, Toni Collier, know how to carry both hurt and hope in each hand.
How can we do that, too?
Just ... listen. <3
| Highlights: |
“It’s impossible to pursue justice without hope.” --Sam
“The gospel compels us to be one. I don’t think we get the luxury as believers to forfeit the fight of racism or anything that is keeping us apart. It is a gospel mandate. People say, ‘Just preach the gospel.’ This is the gospel.” —Sam
“We all need to get into our brains the if we are to demand equality, fairness, and love for our own sphere of influence in the world, we dang sure better be willing to demand it and stand for it for everybody else.” —Toni
| Do the Next Thing: |
GO and preorder Sam's book! Find it here: https://www.samcollier.tv
Broken Crayons Still Color page that Toni founded? Here: http://brkncrayons.com
Follow them on the socials here and here: https://www.instagram.com/samcollier/ https://www.instagram.com/tonijcollier/
That Journey Well Study we mention? Find it here: https://lauriekrieg.com/journey-well-study/
How would you respond if you found pornography on your kid's phone? (Listeners without kids but who are equally valuable disciple-makers: How would you recommend your friend respond to their kids if they found this?)
Author and speaker, Lee Neinhuis, had to deal with this exact situation, and it taught her, her son, and her family a lot about grace and truth.
But how do we engage not only this specific satiation, but how do we cultivate deep roots in our kids/friend's kids/youth group kids when they are growing up in this extremely challenging cultural context?
Let's dive in.
| Highlights: |
"I know my own battle, I know my junk. I know what I think in my head ... They do not give you blinders when you head down the altar ... I notice all the same men the day before I got married, and I still feel attracted to them. I still have to tell myself 'no' every day ... So, I'm just not surprised. I think if a parent doesn't spend some time exploring, 'What are you tempted toward?' and 'Where are you broken?' then this is going to catch them at a totally different level." --Lee Neinhuis
"He has a testimony that involves [pornography]. I never would have wanted that, but I am so grateful that we fell in that pit, and we walked out as a family stronger." --Lee Neinhuis
| Do the Next Thing: |
Find all of Lee's beautiful work here: http://LeeNienhuis.com
Her book? Here: http://CounterculturalParenting.com
Find that Mom's in Prayer Podcast and more here: http://momsinprayer.org
Follow us and all of our own parenting/marriage madness on IG here: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
Do you know anyone processing past trauma while muddling through this pandemic trauma?
Maybe it is you? Maybe it is a friend? Maybe it will be someone you meet tomorrow?
How can we hear and love them well? How can we care for ourselves if we have gone through pain in our past and things have resurfaced in the pandemic? How can we process how this season has been challenging for everyone--whether or not we have gone through another traumatic event?
How can we process our pain?
Speaker and author of "We Too," Mary DeMuth, has some tender, encouraging words for us today.
| Highlights: |
"Things that stay inside don't do well ... An untold story never heals." --Mary DeMuth
"This is hard. Whether you have had trauma or not, this is hard. But just because everyone is experiencing it doesn't mean it's not real to you." --Mary DeMuth
"Err on the side of belief ... it's not up to you to try to dissect and try to figure out if it's true or not. If it isn't true it will come out in the end, but wouldn't you want your first response to be empathetic? Wouldn't that be Jesus' first response: empathy?" --Mary DeMuth
"I try to look at [the healing journey] like an adventure because healing is difficult. If I look at healing like climbing Mount Rainier in Washington State, it seems a lot more interesting to me ... It's not going to be easy, it will be very difficult, but it's an adventure. Instead of dreading this fact that you had this flash of a memory, see it as a healing adventure." --Mary DeMuth
| Do the Next Thing: |
Explore more of Mary's resources related to "We Too" here: https://www.wetoo.org
Find Mary's book, "We Too" here: https://www.amazon.com/We-Too-Church-Respond-Redemptively-ebook/dp/B07SSFSKYD/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=we+too&qid=1590153170&sr=8-2
Sign up to stay in touch with what is happening at: https://lauriekrieg.com
This conversation feels like sitting down with a dear friend over tea.
I can envision us starting out with a sigh, a sip of Earl Grey, and saying: "So, this pandemic has been hard. I haven't only been running to Jesus. I've made some mistakes. Can you help think through what is going on in my heart?"
Bestselling author and speaker, Dee Brestin, hears our words, gently translates them into heart idols (power/control, comfort, or approval), and offers us some really practical next steps.
This conversation is what our ragged souls need.
| Highlights: |
"God has given us these needs that he promises to meet...but if we do not trust him to comfort us, if we do not believe he really loves us, if we do not like the way He is doing things, then we will substitute something else." --Dee Brestin
"Idols pretend to be our friends, and then they turn around and cut us to pieces... Play the whole tape out and see where this is going to end." --Dee Brestin
"Sing to your soul. Sing the truth about Me to your soul...and I will come to you if you just wait. You will feel so good in a little while." --Dee Brestin
| Do the Next Thing: |
Find Dee's Idol Lies book here: https://www.amazon.com/Idol-Lies-Dee-Brestin/dp/1617953679
A bunch more resources can be found on our podcast episode page here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/what-do-we-do-with-our-idols-with-dee-brestin/
It's time. We finally brought in some Enneagram experts.
Beth and Jeff McCord are definitely Enneagram experts, and are definitely not weird about it. Their approach is focused on the gospel, takes in mind Core Longings (!!), childhood woundings, and even though we invited them to talk marriage and the Enneagram, the conversation (as always) was applicable to all humans--no matter their marital status.
We also asked how each Enneagram type might be responding to the pandemic. (It. Was. Fascinating!)
We can't stop thinking about this episode or their book.
Get it, fam.
Highlights:
"The Enneagram is an X-ray. It clearly shows you what is broken and what is not broken, but it does not do the healing (like X-rays don't). The gospel is the healing power in our lives." --Beth McCord
"What the Enneagram really prepared us for ... rather than for us to miss each other and spin out in anxiety, anxiety and conflict become an opportunity for us to connect with one another at deeper levels than we could have ever done without a pandemic like this." --Jeff McCord
Do the Next Thing:
Take an Enneagram assessment from Beth and Jeff here: https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com/dont-know-your-type
Find more resources here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-enneagram-and-marriage-with-beth-and-jeff-mccord/
So. Has God called you to singleness or marriage? How did you discern that?
If you are called to singleness, is it temporary or for life? How did you discern that?
If you are called to lifelong singleness ("vocational singleness," as our guest today calls it), is there a creative way to not be lonely in the midst of it?
Why not start a modern-day monastery?
That's what today's guest, Pieter Valk, did, and the conversation about the modern-day monastery's origins and daily life (including how it has changed in the pandemic) was fascinating.
We also explore how to hear the voice of God, and why we identify differently. (Pieter identifies as gay and I (Laurie) don't--but we also don't fight about it.)
This was a fun one.
Highlights:
“About three years ago, I felt God was calling me to vocational singleness, but I had no idea how to do that well or, in particular, I didn’t know how I would find family in that.” —Pieter Valk
"‘You still need family,' [my pastor said]. 'Could I challenge you to create it? … I think you should start a monastery.’ … The rest was history.” --Pieter Valk
"Married people know...you can't keep smiling anymore. You can't do fifty years with this person who is annoying... You're just going to say it... If you're a single person but you're not in a living arrangement where you're stuck with people in a good way (in a healthy environment), you're never going to get to that point where you're really honest with people and iron starts sharpening iron." --Pieter Valk
Do the Next Thing:
Learn more about the Nashville Family of Brothers here: http://familyofbrothers.org
Find more resources here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/single-but-not-solitary-with-pieter-valk/
In the circles we run, there is one common answer to the question: What will be the next thing when it comes to sexuality?
Their answer? Polyamorous relationships.
What do you know about them? (Other than that they are a romantic, sexual relationship between three or more people?)
Did you know that 24% of church-going people think that consensual non-monogamous relationships are morally acceptable? Or that as many as 1 in 5 Americans have been in a consensual non-monogamous relationship, and 5% are currently in one? (That’s about as many people who identify as LGBTQ+.)
How can we biblically respond to people exploring polyamorous relationships with outrageous love and winsome truth? Dr. Branson Parler is back to walk us through it.
Highlights:
“Start with listening. Start with understanding. Start by asking, ‘What does [polyamory] mean to them’?” —Branson Parler
“If someone says to me, ‘This was allowed in the Old Testament, why can’t it be allowed today?’ I would say, ’It’s because of confusion about what time it is.’ Jesus has come. The new creation has been inaugurated … God regulates and allows a number of things that are a less-than-ideal reality [in the Old Testament]. But when Jesus comes and the Spirit is poured out, you see this new creation reality that connects up with God’s original intention in creation.” —Branson Parler
“What our culture doesn’t believe is that anybody is ever faithful … They see that in relationships, their parents’ marriage … Why even go down that route? The only solution to that is to stop looking at faithless people and start looking at the faithful Savior. Only that—only looking at our faithful Savior—will give us the ability to truly be faithful to another person.” —Branson Parler
Do the Next Thing:
Check out Branson's site here: https://www.bransonparler.com/
Find Branson's pastoral paper on polyamory here: https://www.centerforfaith.com/resources
Find more resources here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-problems-with-polyamory-with-dr-branson-parler/
But what about the kids?
We recorded this episode pre-quarantine, and once again, God provided the content we needed for this unforeseen moment.
I know our own kids (Matt and Laurie's) are wrestling with their emotional balance in this quarantine life.
Are the kids or young adults in your life struggling at all?
Let's help them, yeah? (Whether they are wrestling with anxiety, depression, have been walking a journey on the autism spectrum, or have experienced sexual trauma as kids.)
The person who is going to help us to help them is Dr. Matthew Stanford, CEO of the Hope and Healing Center & Institute in Houston, and adjunct professor of psychiatry at Baylor College of Medicine and the Houston Methodist Hospital Institute for Academic Medicine and author of Grace for the Children.
He's legit qualified.
Let's walk with the littles (and teens), friends.
Do the Next Thing:
Find Grace for the Children: Finding Hope in the Midst of Child and Adolescent Mental Illness: https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Children-Finding-Adolescent-Illness/dp/0830845763
His book for adults? Grace for the Afflicted: And his book for adults? Grace for the Afflicted
Check out Matthew Stanford's organization, The Hope and Healing Center: https://hopeandhealingcenter.org/about-us/meet-our-staff/matthew-stanford/
Listen to more episodes for parents here: https://lauriekrieg.com/category/help-for-parents/
Find us on the IG to answer the Question of the Week and more: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
This is the therapy sesh we all need right now.
Counselor, author, and teacher, Dr. Alison Cook, co-author of Boundaries for Your Soul has a word for us about what to do with our overwhelming thoughts and emotions. (Anyone got some of those these days?)
But, what can we do with them? We can turn them into our allies.
"Emotions are not your enemy, they are queues," she said. "Learn about them, pay attention to them, don’t let them rule you, but get to know them. Let them be an aid to you on your journey to wholeness."
How do we do that? Alison does a beautiful job of helping us take not just the next right step, but a few down the road to peace.
Highlights:
“Awareness ... that’s the hardest step … That’s the very first step.” --Alison Cook
“That’s what we mean about turning your emotions into allies: You can see them as queues to pay attention to as opposed to enemies to fight.” --Alison Cook
“You are more capable than the anxious part of you understands.” --Alison Cook
Do the Next Thing:
Find that book Boundaries for Your Soul here: https://www.alisoncookphd.com/boundaries-for-your-soul-book/#preorder-book
Her site? Here: https://alisoncookphd.com
Our coaching sessions I mention? Find them here: https://lauriekrieg.com/shop/
Through the end of April, if you become a supporter of the ministry at $20 or more per month, we will send you a free Journey Well book. Thanks so much!!: https://lauriekrieg.com/partner/
Again. God, in His mercy, knew that we would need this episode today when we recorded it over one month ago.
Today, Matt and I (Laurie) introduce you to our for-real small group. These are people who are a huge part of our lives and are truly the reason Matt and I are still married.
In an age where large-group churches cannot meet and small groups are meeting online, this group has become even more of our lifeline. Now, we don't just meet every-other week for a couple of hours hours, we meet online every week, have started a daily online Bible reading together, and are texting and praying for each other frequently. Praise God.
We are so honored to share these precious friends with you.
But, we didn't just win the small group lottery. How did we not just become a group of people who go kinda deep every once in a while, but became each other's family?
Listen in and we will share how you--Lord willing--may be able to replicate the gift God gave us with the people around you. Yes, even online.
Do the Next Thing:
Find that HIMH Podcast FB page here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast/
My Laurie Krieg author page to join some of our FB Live convos? Find it here: https://www.facebook.com/lauriekkrieg
More Impossible Marriage Workshop info? Save the date! October 23 and 24! Find out more and to sign up for updates here: https://lauriekrieg.com/impossible-marriage/
Are you stressed/anxious and live in MI? Hit Matt up for a free 20-minute consultation to find out if Caring Well Counseling could come alongside you. Find him here: http://www.caringwell.net
Interested in supporting the podcast (and the Kriegs!) in this tough financial season? Partner here: https://lauriekrieg.com/partner/
See a pic of the small group here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/our-world-good-small-groups-dont-just-happen-with-our-for-real-small-group/
In this home-centered, pandemic-laden world we are in, God, in his kindness, had Matt and I (Laurie) record a mini-series last month where we opened up our real world to you.
Today, we are sharing it. In episode two of three of the "Our World" series, we invited our friend, Stephanie Thole, to help us learn how to have a conversation bridging the gap between sexuality and race conversations.
Are these conversations so similar? Are they so different?
Is it really true that if you are pro- "Black Lives Matter" you also must be pro- "Love is Love"?
Hang out with us and our real-life friends today on the pod, and perhaps learn how to better engage both of these challenging topics with grace, truth, and love.
Highlights:
“We were one of the few black families. I remember always being so attracted to all of these white boys. In my mind, I was like, ‘I gotta get rid of this…’ I understood at a very early age that that was not allowed.” —Stephanie Thole
“I was very much aware at how different I was. That I was 'other.'” —Stephanie Thole
“A lot of us have made mistakes, have had hard conversations, have offended the wrong person, and it’s been a painful, awkward experience. Don’t let that stop you. Keep walking.” —Stephanie Thole
Do the Next Thing:
Are you stressed/anxious and live in MI? Hit Matt up for a free 20-minute consultation to find out if Caring Well Counseling could come alongside you. Find him here: https://caringwell.net
Interested in supporting the podcast (and the Kriegs!) in this tough financial season? Partner here: https://lauriekrieg.com/partner/
Find more great stuff here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/our-world-tough-conversations-with-friends-with-stephanie-thole-2/
As many of us hunker down into our homes, Matt and I (Laurie) open up our real lives to you.
In this "Our World" mini series, will cover the following topics: 1. When I walked with someone for months and it seemed like a failure, 2. The sticky intersection between the race and LGBT+ conversations, 3. How God encouraged us to form a small group that has changed our lives.
Today: When discipleship "fails." I walked away from a discipleship relationship with Kara Martin several years ago feeling hopeful but doubtful. I was hopeful she would follow Jesus, but I wasn't sure I did anything to help her move in that direction.
What happened after we stopped meeting?
How can God still use us when we feel like we completely failed at walking well with others?
What is a good way to walk alongside someone who is wavering on their path of Christlikeness?
We cover these questions and more today on a challenging but critical conversation straight from "our world."
Highlights:
“Walking away enabled me to get my heart in the right place to actually want to figure this out on my own—and not to have Cornerstone or Laurie telling me ‘This is what it should look like.’” --Kara Martin
"I wanted to pursue dating girls. More than that? I wanted to pursue God’s plan for my life… That [latter] motivation was not my own.” --Kara Martin
"You can tell people what you believe all you want, but that’s not what’s going to change their hearts. What’s going to change their hearts is when God gets in there.” --Kara Martin
Do the Next Thing:
Connect with Kara, see her favorite resources, and discover more here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/our-world-when-discipleship-fails-with-kara-martin/
This is timely.
In the midst of a global pandemic, one of the stock market's worst weeks, and fear invading many corners of our hearts, bestselling author, John Eldredge, brings a critical message to the podcast table this week.
“Your soul is never meant to carry all of this," he said. "The human soul is not designed for these conditions.”
It isn't. We are not meant to carry the insanity of a broken world. So how do we engage it with maturity?
Learn with us as we talk through a message that literally changed (and is changing) our lives.
Highlights: “The world that we live in gets everybody spun up … emotionally, physically and spiritually. We want relief. The quick relief is to reach for the bag of cookies or the bottle of scotch or binge watch your favorite show. But relief is very different from restoration. When you’re done [with relief] you don’t actually feel any better.” —John Eldredge
“Maturity is not an option because of the gnarly hour that we live in. Union with God—cultivating it as a life goal—is the invitation.” —John Eldredge
“We have neglected our souls … The rescue for me has been to love Jesus in the midst of my suffering.” --John Eldredge
Do the Next Thing: John's book Get Your Life Back is here: https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Life-Back-Practices/dp/1400208661/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=get+your+life+back&qid=1581347787&sr=8-1
That Pause App that is wrecking us? Find it here: https://www.pauseapp.com
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/maturity-is-not-an-option-with-john-eldredge/
"Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us," the writer of Hebrews tells us (Heb. 12:1).
But what does that mean, exactly? Where are we going? To death? To the New Heavens and New Earth? To more suffering?
And how do we run this race without being legalistic about it: Just keep swimming. Just keep going. Just do it. That's what Christians do.
Author and teacher, Trillia Newbell, helps us understand more of this race running in a compelling conversation that we hope will inspire you to take the next right step.
Highlights: “What legalism is is you’re trying to walk the walk--but not because you love Jesus … it’s because you feel that the only way to approach God is to do these [certain] things … This is sometimes why people give up on the Christian faith: Because they are working real hard and life still sinks.” --Trillia Newbell
“Part of the reason we are not gritty is we are trying to do it ourselves, so, we give up.” —Trillia Newbell
“We cannot endure as Christians if we don’t know the One who sustains us.” —Trillia Newbell
Do the Next Thing: Trillia's book? Here: http://www.trillianewbell.com/sacred-endurance/
Trillia's site? Here: http://www.trillianewbell.com
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/enduring-well-with-trillia-newbell/
Yes, yes, yes, we know: We live in a sex-saturated world. Move on, right?
Maybe. But is there something we can do about it? Do we simply have to endure the brokenness around us and within us, or can we take some Christ-following steps in the right direction?
Our dear friend and newly minted author, Rachel Gilson, thinks we can. Her critical new book, Born Again This Way, not only tells the story of how she came to Christ at Yale through a stolen copy of Mere Christianity, but she unpacks how someone who experiences same-sex attraction can do the stumbly discipleship walk of daily surrender.
One of our favorite pieces of her discipleship walk is how she learned to view our sex-saturated world through the lens of family.
This is an important one, friends--I mean, siblings.
Highlights: “We kind of intuitively sense that a sibling relationship is a special kind of relationship: It has both really deep intimacy but is absolutely not erotic.” --Rachel Gilson
“A lot of time what temptation does is it wants to pull away our focus from, 'God has given me gifts and opportunity to—with His Body—build His kingdom.' Temptation ends up being this big gospel waste.” --Rachel Gilson
“Occasionally, you get this best friend situation where you turn inward like an ingrown toenail ... you end up pairing up in a way that shuts out the broader body. There is something about sibling-hood that reminds us we are a part of a family.” --Rachel Gilson
Question of the Week for Next Week: What is your favorite sport to watch or to play? (Are they the same or different?)
Do the Next Thing: Get her book!! Here: https://www.amazon.com/Born-Again-This-Rachel-Gilson/dp/178498390X/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=born+again+this+way&qid=1582809007&sr=8-2
Find Rachel's site here: https://rachelgilson.com
Find her on Twitter here: https://twitter.com/RachelGilson
Find more links and such here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/seeing-friends-as-siblings/
Identity. Labels. Names. Who are you?
God knows. No, not like, "Oh, only God knows," but like, He knows you. Knows us. Knows our true identity.
Esther Fleece Allen, author of the new book, Your New Name: Saying Goodbye to Labels that Limit, is determined to help us know it, too. Her story is gripping, and her love for Jesus and people is palpable.
Join us?
Highlights:
“If I don’t know who I am and who God names me, I will inevitably be redefined and renamed by the culture.” --Esther Fleece Allen
“I was thirteen ... I probably should have gone into the foster care system. I didn’t know how to ask for help. I didn’t know what lament was. These families just recognized that I had a need. They recognized something was off, and they pursued me in that. God showed himself to me in that. One family bought me a car. One family paid for my gas money. One family paid for my prom dress so I could go to prom. On family paid for me to apply for colleges. This is what the Body of Christ looks like.” --Esther Fleece Allen
“[Our labels] can be like a self-fulfilling prophecy: ‘I was orphaned, so I’ll never be loved. My own parents didn’t want me, so I’m not lovable.’ We start putting these walls around our heart, and we start decorating the walls. Suddenly, our lack becomes our identity instead of asking God for something new.” --Esther Fleece Allen
Question of the Week for Next Week:
What snack do you love that you get super judged for liking?
Do the Next Thing:
Esther's gorgeous book that made me sob? Find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Your-New-Name-Saying-Goodbye/dp/031034607X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1PP3JRQF8P3C6&keywords=esther+fleece+allen&qid=1582319804&sprefix=Esther+fleece%2Caps%2C179&sr=8-1
Find Esther's site here: http://estherfleece.com
Find us on the ol' IG here: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
Is anyone tired?
Is anyone a tired leader? Author, teacher, and today's guest, Ruth Haley Barton, cares about you and the wellness of your soul (and so do we).
But who is a leader? "If anybody is following you," Barton said, "then you are a leader and you need to pay attention to your leadership and the influence you are having on the world." This means stay-at-home parents, ministry leaders, people in the marketplace, and all of you with followers on the socials are leaders.
We are tired as leaders, Ruth! She gets that, which is why we dove into how we can uplift our souls today on the podcast.
Together, we explore signs to look for to see if we are edging on burnout, the effects of isolation, technology, and a lack of kindness in the world, and how women in 2020 may be feeling the pain more poignantly. (Are we?)
Let's go, leaders.
Highlights: “To have a place to go with God that is safe, that is restful, that enables us to experience the love of God especially for us ... we must cultivate that place with God or we will not survive." --Ruth Haley Barton
"Leadership is a crucible. It changes you. You cannot be the same after you have been in leadership for 20 years." --Ruth Haley Barton
"Our job [as healers] ... is to find ways to open up the channels for God to do what only God can do in those deepest places." --Ruth Haley Barton
Question of the Week for Next Week: What reality TV show do you watch that you like to observe, but think, "Nope. Never could do that."
Do the Next Thing: Find Ruth's leadership book here: https://www.amazon.com/Strengthening-Soul-Your-Leadership-Transforming/dp/083084645X/ref=dp_ob_title_bk
Find her site here: https://www.ruthhaleybarton.com
Check out that Transforming Center here: https://transformingcenter.org
Find us on the ol' IG here: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
Oh, guys. We went to town on this one.
David Bennett, a former atheist gay activist turned Christian apologist, came back to the HIMH podcast for the second time and turned. It. Up.
We talked about why in the world gay/straight/everyone needs to engage this sexuality conversation, the “slippery slope” of universalism, debating people on the internet, and how to practically love our friends who disagree with us with genuine love and gentleness.
Listen to all the grit and the glory, and then … how about we start a revival after, yeah?
This, in our humble opinion, is not one to miss.
Highlights: “I’ve never really recovered from the power of that [conversion] experience. It’s defined my life. It’s taught me how much I am loved. It’s taught me how much I fail and how much that is okay—not because failure is okay—but because God’s grace and strength is manifest in it and it can be redeemed. That frees your heart.” —David Bennett
“This isn’t just an abstract question. This isn’t just a theological question. This is about people’s stories— people’s real heart difficulties. [Hearing them] healed me. There is this deep identification I could have with [an affirming friend’s] humanity even if I disagreed with her conclusion.” —David Bennett
“I have been so transformed [by God’s love] that to compromise on any level is just not an option for me.” —David Bennett
Question of the Week for Next Week: What country has your heart—besides the one you live in? Why?
Do the Next Thing: Find David's book A War of Loves here: https://www.amazon.com/War-Loves-Unexpected-Activist-Discovering/dp/0310538106
Find David on the ol' FB here: https://www.facebook.com/dacbennett
Read that First Things article we mentioned here: https://www.firstthings.com/web-exclusives/2020/01/a-strange-split-in-the-umc?fbclid=IwAR13v6kiGyVqSvNteJJW9QN68JYwGB0m9W2nPN4i9e88caPS0xm47eInVW4
Hit us up to talk about how we can serve your team here: https://lauriekrieg.com/speaking/
Because of this interview, I [Laurie] called the trafficking hotline for a suspicious building I drive past.
I didn't know if that was a weird or helpful thing to do before before talking with our guest today, Rebecca Bender. Rebecca is the author of the new book, In Pursuit of Love, is a survivor of human trafficking, and has trained law enforcement officers, Homeland Security and the FBI on how to approach anti-human trafficking efforts.
She also trained us a bit through this interview. “What’s really important is trafficked victims like myself grow up in the same culture as all of you," Rebecca said. "When you talk about thinking [of trafficking] as being in shanty towns in foreign countries, so did I.”
Trafficking is local, and can happen for many reasons. Rebecca fell victim because of that hole in her heart.
“In high school I was as a varsity athlete, I got great grades, I graduated a year early," she said. "I still, deep down, wanted to love and be loved, and [my trafficker] made me feel that.”
How did Rebecca get free after six years of living as a victim of human trafficking in the United States? Why didn't she run earlier? How did God arrest her heart? How can we take practical steps to promote anti-human trafficking efforts? And how can we all relate to that God-shaped longing in her heart?
Check it out on today's episode.
Highlights: “It’s so important to know the red flags, the warning signs. It all began from that one neighbor tipping off a law enforcement officer and an investigation began.” —Rebecca Bender
“I heard the voice of God again immediately—like a dad running to meet his prodigal kid. I remember Him saying, ‘If you give me the same amount of time you gave the enemy, I will never be outdone.’” —Rebecca Bender
Question of the Week for Next Week: Where is the weirdest place you have fallen asleep?
Do the Next Thing: That number for you to call if you suspect something suspicious? 1-888-373-7888
Find Rebecca's book here: https://www.amazon.com/Pursuit-Love-Journey-Trafficked-Triumphant/dp/0310356857/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1567887240&sr=8-3
Find Rebecca's site here: https://rebeccabender.org
Find us and more stuff we chat about on the ol' IG here: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/from-trafficked-to-triumphant/
Anyone relate to thinking that life will be x, but then it’s not even y … it ends up being q? Or t? Or 27?
How do we deal with these unmet expectations besides throwing clichés and sprinkling a lil’ Jesus on it?
Author, teacher, and broadcaster Sheridan Voysey offers zero clichés and all real-life learning how to suffer well with his own version of facing “When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned.”
Get it, fam. <3
Highlights: “When you built your life on a few key identities and they are taken away? That’s when you discover how deep this idea ... that we are a child of God ... actually penetrated into the deepest depths of your being.” —Sheridan Voysey
"You think about trying for a child? Every month there is an expectation followed by disappointment. An expectation followed by disappointment ... That's the first three or four months for many couples. Often, after that, expectation is met with excitement. For us, it just kept going month after month after month, then year after year after year. That picks away at your very being." --Sheridan Voysey
"I will not give you clichés [and say] Jesus is the wonderful self-help guru we always want him to be--He smiles at us with pearly white teeth and all our problems go away. No. [But], this very darkness you are going through, that you are waiting and you are hungering and you are hoping for with that new birth, God can be doing things in you right now under the surface without you even realizing it that are all part of making you who are called to be." --Sheridan Voysey
Question of the Week for Next Week: What fact about the world makes your jaw drop and perhaps worship God?
Do the Next Thing:
Find Sheridan's site here: https://sheridanvoysey.com
Find the Making of Us book here: https://www.amazon.com/Making-Us-Become-Doesnt-Planned/dp/0718094239/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=the+making+of+us&qid=1579910674&sr=8-2
Find us and more stuff we chat about on the ol' IG here: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/when-life-doesnt-go-as-planned/
Bestselling author and pastor David Platt rocks.
He navigated our interview with humility and courage.
Not only did he open up his heart and journals with us about his new book 'Something Needs to Change' (and how he went from writing "coldhearted" sermons about poverty and sex trafficking to weeping about them both), but he also encouraged us and leaders everywhere not to sit down when it comes to engaging culture's urgent challenging questions about sexuality.
Hear his humble exhortation with us today on the podcast.
Highlights: "If I preach the whole counsel of God but ignore the areas in which the Devil is at that moment attacking in the culture around me, then I am not faithfully confessing Christ--no matter how much other stuff I may say." --David Platt
"You go up to people on these trails and you say, 'What do you know about Jesus?' And they say, 'Who is that?' --like you're talking about someone in their village that they've never met." --David Platt
"I wrote a sermon on the plane on the way over there talking about poverty and trafficking. I wrote it from this frighteningly coldhearted perspective. Apparently, it's possible to know a bunch of facts and even know the Bible ... and totally be unaffected by these things." --David Platt
Question of the Week for Next Week: What is your spiritual gift?
Do the Next Thing: David's book Something Needs to Change ? Find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Something-Needs-Change-Count-Urgent/dp/0735291411
That sermon he gave on God's design for sexuality? Find it here: https://radical.net/sermon/sexuality-in-our-culture-an-open-door-for-the-gospel/
That Christianity Today article highlighting one of David's favorite moments in the book? Find it here: https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2019/september-web-only/david-platt-something-needs-change-remote-mountainside.html?fbclid=IwAR1IYYCZp4rP-C6kN0eWuYfh4_pnoDSgvEQ4QfKdunP2xfMHTWyJo1zkDWM
That Journey Well Study? Find it here (Use offer code PODCAST to get both the videos and book for $19.99 only until Jan 31!): https://lauriekrieg.com/product/journey-well-study-explore-your-deepest-needs-and-how-to-meet-them/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/something-needs-to-change/
Maybe it's just us, maybe it's just our generation . . . maybe it's just this year? But it seems to us as if the vulnerable pursuit that comes with friendship can be extra challenging for some men.
Can we get an a-men? (Ha...)
Today, we invited some of our new friends, Sam and Blaine Eldredge (yes, the sons of John and Stasi), to help us better understand why friendships for men can be extra challenging.
We talk about some intense (and fun) things, of course, including:
What do are you nerdy about? Why don't many men pursue each other's hearts? (How can they?) How can men neither detach from the calling to be God's man nor stomp on others while falsely declaring themselves to be manly?
Highlights: "Friendship is a characteristic activity of a whole heart." --Blaine Eldredge
"When you interact with a man, whether they seem timid or brash--whether they seem they are going to stomp on you and carve their name in marble and build a mausoleum (or if they just want to hide and be alone in their garage with their hobby)--you are meeting different forms of brokenness and different forms of posing." --Sam Eldredge
"The story is not just: 'Men, be friends.' The story is: 'The restoration of all things is underway. You have a role to play. You will need people around you if you are going to walk out your role.'" --Blaine Eldredge
"Find a few other men that you really want lasting friendship with and make their battles your battles. Truly take on that posture of 'When you go to war, I am going to war as well.' Whether that's for your kids, for your marriage, for your job, and even for your heart." --Sam Eldredge
Question of the Week for Next Week: What was the most memorable youth group game you ever witnessed (or endured)?
Do the Next Thing: Find Sam and Blaine's site--including their podcast here: https://www.andsonsmagazine.com
That Pause App their team developed? It's here: https://www.pauseapp.com
That gender podcast with Tim Keller? Find it here: https://podcast.gospelinlife.com/e/marriage-as-completion-gender-roles-part-1/
Find us: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/why-male-friendships-are-challenging/
New year, new Hole in My Heart Podcast theme music, new website ... what else is new?
Well, with all of this new, how about something old? Like throwback time? Matt and Laurie realized that there are many NEW listeners out there, and you might not know their stories. So, we deep-dive a bit into them.
Matt talks about the heart of his journey with pornography addiction (and how he finally got set free from it), and Laurie talks about her discipleship journey with her version of broken sexuality.
We also take your premarital questions. (Ya'll send us quite a few! We love them--any variety. Keep them coming!)
We cover things like:
"I'm not straight but dating someone who is. When should I share with them my story?"
"How can you know if you're supposed to marry someone?"
"How important is attraction in marriage?"
Let's dive in, friends.
(Thank you, Dr. Forest Wakeman at Calvin University for the sick beats!)
Highlights:
“I had been though seminary; I had my undergraduate in youth ministry. I knew all the head knowledge about God, but I had never really felt this soul-deep, heart-level, permeating knowledge that He loves me and that He desires me.” —Matt Krieg
“Had I not gotten rid of everything—limited all access? A. I wouldn’t have had a detox from porn because it would have always been in my pocket. And, B. I would not have realized my issue wasn’t just porn. I was screen addicted … I was always looking to distract myself from myself.” —Matt Krieg
“I found myself joyful. And filled—not every minute of every day, but even one out of twenty times seeking God—it was enough of a foretaste of what we will experience in eternity forever that I was like, ‘I’m in.’” —Laurie Krieg
“It’s the heart stuff that often leads to physical [connection]. But even if it doesn’t. Can we give ourselves grace today? There’s not a scorecard for you guys or us. It’s just: Are you working on your metaphor?” —Laurie Krieg
Question of the Week for Next Week:
What are you nerdy about? (We are pushing that one forward to next week.)
Do the Next Thing:
If you want to see a picture of the Heart Map we mention and those Core Needs? Here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/matt-and-lauries-stories-rebooted-and-your-premarital-questions/ That Pause App Steve mentioned? Here: https://www.pauseapp.com Find the Journey Well Study and corresponding videos here! (Use that PODCAST code!): https://lauriekrieg.com/product/journey-well-study-explore-your-deepest-needs-and-how-to-meet-them/ If you just want to Amazon it, find it here! https://www.amazon.com/Journey-Well-Explore-Deepest-Needs/dp/1973679922/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2TQXXUPVD1ECU&keywords=laurie+krieg+journey+well&qid=1578074188&sprefix=Laurie+Krieg%2Caps%2C185&sr=8-1
Guys. We wrote a study! And it's been published!
I--Laurie--began writing this while I was walking out my discipleship journey with my mentor, Carolyn. I take the lessons she taught me, sprinkle additional ones God has brought me through over the years, and invite you to join me on the journey.
We explore things like how to listen to God, lament, what to do with temptation, how to process shame, Core Needs, and lots more.
This is literally the book I wish I had been able to walk through when I was wrestling the most with my sexuality.
It is zero percent conversion therapy. It is all the gospel's good news for my version of broken sexuality, too.
This study is meant to be done in mentorship pairs, groups, or on your own. If you have been wishing/hoping/praying for a tangible something disciple-y to do with someone or as someone who experiences broken sexuality similarly to the way I do, this is our gift to you.
Practically, here is the gift I can offer you! FOR PODCAST LISTENERS starting now to the end of January 2020, order the book and videos on our site--using the code PODCAST, and get it all for $19.99.
The episode today explores more of the how, why, and what of the book (with Matt interviewing me!).
Thanks for caring about this decade-long work of my heart. Love you, guys.
Highlights: “I said to God, ‘If I make it through this hell season . . . I’d love an opportunity to talk to even one other person who is even a half-step behind me.’ And I started writing.” --Laurie Krieg
“This is not gay-to-straight sort of reparative therapy junk. This is: Can you walk into this third, middle, suffering-well path—with whatever version of broken sexuality you have--and can you encounter God there?" --Laurie Krieg
"We Can. Not. Do. This. Without you. Ruthlessly eliminate sin in your life. Ruthlessly eliminate shame. Shred that. Start a group with your friends--whether it’s a Journey Well group or whatever ... Get in. Come shoulder-to-shoulder with us." --Laurie Krieg
Question of the Week for Next Week: What are you nerdy about?
Do the Next Thing: Find that book and corresponding videos here: https://www.himhministries.com/store/c4/All_Items.html If you just want to Amazon it, find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Journey-Well-Explore-Deepest-Needs/dp/1973679922/ Watch a one-minute preview here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUWe0ADdZLU We gonna talk more about it on IG here: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/our-first-study/
Let's just have a little fun, yeah?
Gwyn and Juliette Krieg, Matt and Laurie's two oldest kids, come into the studio to discuss favorite parts about Christmas, what to do when you feel lonely and there is no one to hug, and--because we can't stop won't stop--what marriage means to them.
Merry Christmas, podcast fam!
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/merry-christmas-from-the-krieg-kids/
Okay, guys. This one.
I don't think we have ever been as surprised as we were with Kenneth Boa. He is a highly accomplished scholar, author, and teacher--with four degrees (and two doctoral degrees)--and good grief: When we asked him the questions we ask everyone (about when the gospel was first good news for him) we were floored.
This guy came to Christ while on an LSD trip during the summer of love in the 1960s. Yep. You heard it here, guys. You have to listen to understand and believe how God did it.
After recovering from our shock, we were surprised again: Ken is not just an academic guy with degrees and books littering his office; Ken is someone who is alert to the presence of God.
Come sit with us, hear his left-turn gospel story, and learn practical ways to experience the presence of God.
Highlights: "I have never regretted any act of obedience ... I have always, in the long run, regretted every act of disobedience." --Ken Boa
"God stoops to conquer." --Ken Boa
"What is normal in the Scriptures is not typical in this world." --Ken Boa
"Intimacy energizes and animates activity." --Ken Boa
"We used to work with a lot of hippies (it takes one to know one), but we never told them to get off drugs. We told them about Jesus. You will never get rid of something by trying to get rid of it. That's extinction. You'll never do it. Instead, you need replacement: Replace the inferior with a greater good.... Then, finding that, you'll realize that's what you were looking for all along." --Ken Boa Question of the Week for Next Week: What was your word for 2019--if you had one? How did it go? Do the Next Thing: Find Kenneth's book, Life in the Presence of God: Practices for Living in Light of Eternity here: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Presence-God-Practices-Eternity/dp/083084516X Check out Kenneth's blog with all of his resources (including that app he mentioned!) here: https://kenboa.org Find us and/or answer that question of the week here: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/practically-living-life-in-the-presence-of-god/
Talking about walking away from toxic people can feel like a too-challenging (and maybe unbiblical?) conversation. But, shoot: Relationship expert and author, Gary Thomas, convinced us through his latest book and this interview that knowing when to walk away from toxic people is a critical practice for Christians.
Jesus walked away from toxic people (or let them walk away from Him), and we should to ... for the sake of the Kingdom.
Why? How?
We dive in with Gary, and explore toxic discipleship, marriages, friendships, and the most critical one for us: how we can stop being toxic to ourselves.
Highlights: "Throughout Jesus’ life and ministry, He would share the truth (generously and in a relevant way) with compassion and empathy. He loved those people. But if they didn’t receive it? He would find someone else who did. He walked away." --Gary Thomas
"Most of us, if we are healthy, we want a peaceful work environment. That’s boring to a toxic person. We want a mutually encouraging marriage where we support each other. That’s boring to a toxic person. We like the thought of a church pursuing a mission of reaching the lost and helping people recover from issues. That’s boring to a toxic person. A toxic person has to engage in conflict." --Gary Thomas
"Jesus chose his disciples and so should we." --Gary Thomas
“When I make myself the hero of my life and somebody treats me in a toxic way, I’m tempted to hate them: ‘How dare you challenge my role of being hero!' Or, I’ll disappoint myself: I’ll sin. I won’t respond with compassion. Because 'I’m supposed to be my own hero,' I will hate myself for not living up to my highest ideals. I [am only free] when I realize, ‘There is only one hero in the Bible and that’s Jesus.’” --Gary Thomas
Question of the Week for Next Week: What really helps you focus on Jesus at Christmas? Do the Next Thing: Find Gary's book, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom From Toxic People here: https://whentowalkawaybook.com Gary's blog--full of resources? Here: http://www.garythomas.com Find that paradigm-shifting marriage book he mentioned here: https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Marriage-What-Designed-Happy/dp/0310337372/ref=asc_df_0310337372/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=266120610675&hvpos=1o5&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16592071947124123508&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9017525&hvtargid=pla-433666903382&psc=1
Answer that Question of the Week or find us on our HIMH Podcast FB Page here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast/?ref=bookmarks
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/when-to-walk-away/
Guys? We got some big changes coming to Hole in My Heart Ministries, and we are excited to share them with you today.
In addition to the changes, we are exploring a couple of your questions with some answers:
Why does marriage have to be between one man and one woman? (We share our top three--well, four--favorite reasons.)
How do we walk with and speak truth to a believer who believes a same-sex, romantic relationship is right for them? (We offer some specific help.)
Let's dig in!
Highlights: "You guys didn't assume the 'Why marriage?' question. That's what's been really unique about learning this stuff together with you: You dared to ask that question." --Steve
"Matt is so different from me to represent how God is so different from us--and yet he wants to marry us! That's bananas! It's not cosmic joke. That's beautiful cosmic design. That's worth dying to yourself for." --Laurie
"With these questions there is always a sense we need to call them away from what they are doing. 'I need to somehow convince them that that is the wrong the to do.' Honestly? That's a theology of 'no.' ... Your job as the friend is not to have them say 'no' to this thing over here, but say, 'How can we more and more and more say 'yes' to God?' --Matt Question of the Week for Next Week: What is the most annoying sound?
Do the Next Thing: Read Preston Sprinkle's People to Be Loved to learn more about why God's design for marriage is between a man and a woman: https://www.amazon.com/People-Be-Loved-Homosexuality-Issue/dp/0310519659/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1AKF738G5TPDB&keywords=people+to+be+loved+preston+sprinkle&qid=1574782964&sprefix=people+to+be+loved%2Caps%2C178&sr=8-1
We refer to this pastoral paper a few times on the episode: https://www.centerforfaith.com/resources/pastoral-papers/05-15-affirming-arguments-and-15-responses
To hear more about the changes, read it on the podcast episode page: https://www.himhministries.com/blog/episode-102-ministry-update-and-q-a-with-matt-laurie
To follow all of our shenanigans, find us here on IG: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/ministry-update-and-q-a-with-matt-laurie/
God puts a dream inside of all of us.
Wait. Does He?
How does that work? And how do you know if it is a selfish one or something that is literally from Him? And what about those of us who feel like expendable folks--with "worthless" or no dreams?
Lauren Chandler, wife to Matt Chandler (yes, that Matt Chandler), and mother of three, is a worship leader, author, and helper of us in this conversation about how can we balance our dreams with God's desires.
It's a poignant interview that includes God taking a starry-eyed Lauren through an addiction group (Celebrate Recovery) to help her see her life (and dreams) are all about Jesus.
Join us.
Highlights:
"We are always going to be a worse version of somebody else. We are meant to be original. Ourselves." --Lauren Chandler
"Here I was, the pastor's wife--young, but still the pastor's wife--and I am sitting in my seat [at Celebrate Recovery], and my heart is pounding in my chest. They offered this chip of surrender ... You could not have kept me from running up there." --Lauren Chandler
"I started to see the people instead of being the focus of the people." --Lauren Chandler
"I think the way you can tell if your dream is God's dream is: are you willing to be open-handed with it?" --Lauren Chandler
"I believe there is going to be is something special for those people who did things in obscurity--where no one has ever heard their name." --Lauren Chandler
Do the Next Thing:
Check out Lauren's site (and find that children's book we talk about)here: https://laurenchandler.com Find her on IG (her fave social) here: https://www.instagram.com/laurenchandler/
Question of the Week for Next Week:
What is your favorite part of the Thanksgiving feast? (Or another near holiday if you are not from the States?) Email podcast@lauriekrieg.com or hit us up on IG here: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/exchanging-our-dreams-for-gods-desires/
Many people abuse hearing from God. But just because they misuse the process, does it mean we shouldn't engage?
Jim Samra, someone who literally wrote the book about it, helps us to think about how we can wisely approach listening to God. (And that book title is pretty funny: 'God Told Me: Who to Marry, Where to Work, Which Car to Buy ... And I'm Pretty Sure I'm Not Crazy.')
Jim also guides us through questions such as, "How mature do you have to be to hear from God?" "What if you are living in sin--does God still speak to you?" "How does the Bible interact with this process?" "Can and should we pray for a spouse?"
We loved this one.
Highlights:
"There are lot of people who abuse this idea: They are going to use the 'God told me' or 'God speaking to me' language just to masquerade for the things they actually want to do." --Jim Samra
"If I just had one or two points to get across, it'd be one: God loves you, and two: the burden of communication is on Him." --Jim Samra
"Take the example of voice recognition software ... you are training it to recognize your voice. The Bible is the Word of God--meaning this is what God's voice sounds like. The more time you spend with the Bible, the more you are trained, 'This is what God says.'" --Jim Samra
"If you're going to wait until you're holy enough to hear from God--that's just not how it works ... While you are still wrestling with sanctification God still speaks to you.... Just give Him a chance." --Jim Samra Do the Next Thing:
Find Jim and Lisa Samra's website here: www.olivesandcoffee.com Jim's book on listening to God? Find it here: https://www.amazon.com/God-Told-Me-Marry-Pretty/dp/0801014115/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=god+told+me+Jim+samra&qid=1573850946&sr=8-1
Question of the Week for Next Week:
What did you want to be when you grew up—when you were 5-8 years old? Email podcast@lauriekrieg.com, or find Laurie Krieg on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/how-to-hear-god/
This is another episode where if we could pay you to listen to it, we would. We believe it is that important.
Heather was born female, but in her young twenties, fully socially transitioned to male. Now, she is again living as her born-female self, and is running toward Jesus.
How did this happen?
You know, for all the conversations we have about gender/sexuality/etc., it's funny that we keep waiting for the answer to, "How did this happen?" to be something other than the gospel. Something other than learning how to suffer well alongside each other. Something other than surrendering idols and learning to experience God.
But it isn't. The good news of the the gospel is it is good news for everyone and everyone's pain. So, the answer to "How did this happen?" once again is the gospel.
Listen to another version of specifically how the gospel is good news for everyone every day alongside us today.
Highlights:
"There are people in my life that didn't call me by name for two years, and by extension, didn't use a pronoun when referring to me ... How can you expect to have any trust or relational equity built if you are not even willing to refer to someone in a way that distinguishes them as human?" --Heather Skriba
"I didn't know how to let God into the painful, hurting, and dark places of my heart--not just gender-- but anxiety, codependency, insecurity, and self hatred. I didn't know how to access the heart of God in those places ... I think that is something that is really missing from a lot of relationships when people try to walk with LGBT people and LGBT Christians." --Heather Skriba
"So often for trans guys, surgery is looked at as, 'This is the thing that is going to make everything else okay.' ... But I remember the first time I looked down at my chest, and I had this sinking feeling of, 'This is not what I was hoping it would be. I mean, it's good, but this is surface level ... This was supposed to be it, and it's not." --Heather Skriba
Do the Next Thing:
Heather works with our friend Ty at Walls Down Ministries. Find it here: www.wallsdown.org Heather also recommends www.theallendercenter.org and Ransomed Heart www.ransomedheart.com that have helped her on her journey. (She also recommended us, but, we don't need to refer you to us, but we are grateful for the shout out. :) ) You want to talk with Heather? Hit us up, and we will connect you at podcast@lauriekrieg.com
Question of the Week for Next Week:
What is your current life song? What song describes the season of life you are having (or day you are having)? Email podcast@lauriekrieg.com or find us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/a-gender-conversation-part-2/
This is another one of those episodes seeking to answer questions we receive often:
At what age do we start talking with our kids about sexuality? How do we do it, exactly? What about gender stuff? How do we help alleviate some of the blurring of the lines that is going on with gender these days--without holding onto stereotypes?
Who better to help us out than author and teacher, Dannah Gresh? She has been in the ministry of educating young people regarding sexuality for many years. (And if you think she is speaking old-school purity movement stuff, think again. This woman is on fire, and is ready to preach the holistic good news of the gospel for our sexuality in 2019, 2020 and beyond.)
Let's dive in again to this critical conversation with grace, truth, and love.
Highlights:
"Marriage and sex is a picture of the gospel. It tells us that story from Genesis to Revelation. … How motivated do you think Satan is to see that destroyed in your life ... [and] destroyed in our children’s lives?" --Dannah Gresh
"Our worldview is established by our 13th or 14th birthday. If you wait until then to talk to kids about sex? Woah. You have missed the boat. Meanwhile, their ears have been hearing all of these other sexual messages, and your silence has just become a megaphone to the world’s lies." --Dannah Gresh
“In the Bible there is not one place ever where the formal education of moral belief is ever assigned to anyone but parents ... You cannot phone this thing in. Moral development is assigned to you.” --Dannah Gresh
Do the Next Thing:
Watch Dannah's TED talk, "The Walk of Fame or the Walk of Shame": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C24CmKxRPdQ Check out Dannah's site here: https://dannahgresh.com Dannah has a master class she teaches on these things with her husband. Find it here: https://dannahgresh.com/masterclass/
Question of the Week for Next Week:
What is something that makes you laugh the most these days? Email podcast@lauriekrieg.com join the HIMH Podcast FB page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast/?ref=bookmarks or find us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/talking-sexuality-with-our-kids/
The purpose of this podcast is to "explore how the gospel is good news for everyone every day."
Most often, we talk about how the gospel relates to sexuality/gender (as those conversations have been neglected for too long in the Church), however part of the good news of the gospel is it eliminates walls and barriers between people—racial barriers included.
Our friend, Kinita Schripsema, helps us to launch into this conversation from a place we need to start: the heart.
Kinita was kind enough to let us ask many dumb questions (although she was gracious to not call them dumb!) in order to get to a place where we can speak heart to heart.
This is an important one.
Highlights:
"All of us in human race want not only to belong, but we want unity, acceptance, authenticity and freedom. If that is the common ground, when we are aware of what our cultural bent is, we are then able to see the other person as a human and for their heart--not their skin color." --Kinita Schripsema
"It's really crucial we all take a step back and allow grace in this space. The only way we can actually do that in each of our stories is if we have done our own personal work of forgiveness [and] our own internal work of reconciliation." --Kinita Schripsema
"It's not okay for us to say within the context of our church, 'But we are united in Christ, right?' You can say that but I sure hope you're being inclusive. I sure hope you're embracing and walking with, and most crucially stepping into the mess with people." --Kinita Schripsema
Do the Next Thing:
Interested in learning more about Kinita and her work? Here is her site: https://seemaglobalconsulting.com Her Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SeemaGlobalConsulting/ And Her book: Dan Allender is doing a great podcast series right now on "Becoming an Anti-Racist." It's a great next step: https://theallendercenter.org/2019/10/becoming-anti-racist-1/ Latasha Morrison's new book is another great step: https://latashamorrison.com
Question of the Week for Next Week:
What do you have duct-taped together now? Email podcast@lauriekrieg.com, find us on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-heart-of-racial-reconciliation/
We get a decent amount of questions about how to engage healthy friendship (and touch) as single people.
So, we asked one of our dear single friends, Meg Baatz, to help us navigate some more of this friendship quagmire. Some of the questions we explored include:
What is the difference between finding community as a single person or as a married person?
What is Meg's journey with finding community?
Why are people so awkward when it comes to being friends with people of the same sex (if those people experience attractions toward the same sex)? How can we all be friends?
How can we engage healthy touch with our friends?
Dive in with us today at the podcast table.
Highlights:
"I knew [community living] would be hard. I knew it wouldn't solve all of my relational needs. I knew marriage wouldn't [either]. I knew trying to find the right people can be the same pitfall as trying to find the right person." --Meg Baatz
"I can desire to have the majority of my relational or emotional needs met from women rather than from God first and then from women ... [But] it's easy to go one extreme or the other: 'I have this really deep need for relational with women.' Or 'Oh, no! I don't want to idolize my friendships, and so I'm going to retreat out of fear or shame.'" --Meg Baatz
"I think we can be ashamed of and afraid of our limits [with physical touch]. Instead we need to accept them ... and say, 'How can I honor myself as someone who God loves while loving and respecting other people through the boundaries I set up?'" --Meg Baatz
Do the Next Thing:
Check out Meg's organization she works for, Lead Them Home, here: https://www.leadthemhome.org Dive into Meg's personal site here: https://blog.megbaatz.com
Question of the Week for Next Week: What "stupid human" trick can you do? (Roll your tongue, shake your eyes, do some random dance move...?) Email podcast@lauriekrieg.com or find us on Instagram to answer: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/healthy-community-and-touch-as-a-single-person/
This interview kicked our tails.
Do you know what to do when you encounter someone who is experiencing homelessness?
We thought we did ... sort of? Give them a few bucks? Offer a pack of things you have ready in your car? Pray with them?
Terence Lester, activist, speaker, and author of I See You: How Love Opens Our Eyes to Invisible People, helps us practically navigate how we can better see people experiencing poverty and homelessness and thereby learn a lesson on how we can really see everyone.
Highlights:
"We are all poor in some way. When we understand that (when we understand what God has done for us) it creates a bridge that we can walk over and show our brother and sister, who may be living on the street and experiencing hardship, the same type of love that we would want and have received from our God." --Terence Lester
"The best phrases in the New Testament are 'Jesus saw.' Not only did He see people, but He became proximate to them. What will radically change our understanding and even our misconceptions about people is acknowledging them and getting proximate." --Terence Lester
"Presence can trump money." --Terence Lester
Do the Next Thing:
Check out Terence's book I See You: How Love Opens Our Eyes to Invisible People: https://www.amazon.com/See-You-Opens-Invisible-People/dp/0830845720/ref=sr_1_2?crid=3043ZCQ5Z6RZ6&keywords=i+see+you+terence+lester&qid=1570833949&sprefix=I+see+you+terence+%2Caps%2C159&sr=8-2 Check out Terence's site here: http://terencelester.org Find Terence on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imterencelester/
Question of the Week for Next Week:
What does your name mean, and how does it affect your life? Email podcast@lauriekrieg.com or find us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/how-we-can-see-everyone/
Friends. We need them. They can also be a big challenge. It can be hard to put them in their proper, healthy place (neither diminishing them nor elevating them)—whether we are married or single.
Today, we primarily look at how to have healthy friendships through the married lens, but single people? We believe and hope and pray you will be blessed, too.
Kelly Needham, author of the new book Friendish, helps us explore questions such as, “Can we have covenant friendships outside of marriage?” “What are signs of when friendships are moving into an unhealthy direction?” “Are our spouses supposed to be our best friends?"
It's a needed conversation for our lonely world today on the podcast.
Highlights:
"If a friendship is starting to encroach on our relationship with our spouse or with Christ, that's a warning sign." --Kelly Needham
"I don't think the word 'best friend' is wrong, but I don't think that it's right that we build covenants into our friendships ... That does not condemn single people to loneliness or missing out on something huge. If we believe that, then we are admitting that marriage satisfies preeminently in our hearts." --Kelly Needham
"Your loneliness is primarily alleviated in Christ ... Loneliness came as a result of sin, not alone-ness." --Kelly Needham
Do the Next Thing:
Check out Kelly's book Friendish here: https://www.amazon.com/Friend-ish-Reclaiming-Friendship-Culture-Confusion/dp/1400213517/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=friendish&qid=1570231200&sr=8-1 Check out Kelly's blog and site here: https://kellyneedham.com For more on this episode: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/marriage-and-friendship-how-to-do-both-well-with-kelly-needham/
Question of the Week for Next Week:
What was your favorite school lunch? (Either packed or the hot lunch variety?) Find us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
When Brad Klaver was ten, he watched three men in his church get publicly excommunicated for either experiencing attractions toward the same gender or for being in same-sex relationships.
He made a vow to himself, "I will never share this part of me."
Twenty-five years later, married to his wife and dad to four kids, God allowed this now-pastor to go through breakdown so he could experience breakthrough.
Join us as we engage Brad's journey with his wife, friends, and church in this final story in our broken/beloved pastor series today.
[Also listen in as we get hammered by a rainstorm and get word of a tornado in our area. It made for an exciting recording finish. ;) ]
Highlights "I remember exactly where I was watching [the excommunications] unfold. In me there was this internal fear of: 'I don't know where this came from. I don't know why I have this. I don't know where this all began, or what was done to me to make me like this. All I know, based on what I am seeing now is ... this is what happens if people find out. You admit it, and you are shown the door.' ... I said to myself... 'I will never tell anyone. Ever.' That commitment was kept for 25 years." --Brad Klaver
"The pages with the verses pertaining to homosexuality and marriage are the most well-worn pages in my childhood Bible. I begged God to either fix me or switch me or end me. None of that was happening, and so I took matters into my own hands and learned the art of religion." --Brad Klaver
"The reality was not that I had done something--a moral failure or something that disqualifies me from serving in the church--the reality was that this journey that God was taking me on completely wiped me out." --Brad Klaver
Do the Next Thing: Connect with Brad by emailing podcast@lauriekrieg.com Check out our Podcast Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast/?ref=bookmarks For more on this episode: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/broken-beloved-pastors-part-3-with-brad-klaver/
Question of the Week for Next Week: What drew you to your first friend(s) as a kid? (A game? Proximity? Mutual likes for something?) Find us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
It's week two of our Broken/Beloved Pastor mini-series, where we try to break down stereotypes and halt the gossip train when it comes to pastors who leave their positions for various reasons.
Today, we dive into the painful and gorgeous story of Johnny and Amanda McKenna. The middle of their journey includes him almost killing himself to hide his double life of affairs, pornography addiction, and alcoholism--while serving as a pastor.
But there is a beginning and new ending to this story.
Come and hear pieces of the whole broken and beloved journey with us today.
Highlights: "I constantly felt like I didn't measure up. Pornography was an escape from that feeling for me. 'Finally, I don't have to feel that just for that moment.' But after that moment is over . . . now I'm right where I started, and in an even worse spot." --Johnny McKenna
"We could not have sex for two years of our marriage. I was so ashamed. I didn't know what was wrong with me what was wrong with my body. I didn't understand it. It's so hard and embarrassing to talk about with people . . . I felt so helpless." --Amanda McKenna
"All this is going on and I'm saying to myself ... 'You're such a scumbag ... It's time to take my life ... I'll be gone, but my legacy will be in tact. I won't be this pastor that is another Hall of Shame member. I won't have to tell my boys that I failed them--that I cheated on their mom. I won't have to tell my youth group kids and leaders. I can at least provide for them financially. They'll be in a better place because I had life insurance.' I thought that was the best case scenario. Those were the lies Satan was whispering in my ear."--Johnny Mckenna
"One of the things [my friend] said was, 'Amanda, God is saving your husband right now.' It shocked me. 'What do you mean He's saving us? It feels like He's killing us.' But then that meaning sunk in: Johnny was living bound and held captive by his sin. But now, God was in the process of saving him. ...That's really beautiful if you think about it: God steps into the mess and he fights for you." --Amanda McKenna
Do the Next Thing: Connect with Johnny and Amanda by emailing podcast@lauriekrieg.com Check out our Podcast Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast/?ref=bookmarks For more on this episode: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/broken-beloved-pastors-part-2-with-johnny-and-amanda-mckenna/
Question of the Week for Next Week: If I walked into your house/apartment/room what are three things I would see that describe who you are as a person? Find us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
Too often, we hear stories of pastors who have left their pastoral vocation for a myriad of reasons, and we (the church body) are left guessing about why. This empty void of information can lead to gossip on our part and subsequent pain for the pastor and their families because we do not go to them and ask questions--we just guess.
Today, we are launching a mini-series where we hear the before/during/and after of the why these pastors left their posts. We want to focus on the redemption, the why, and the seeing of pastors as fellow broken/beloved image-bearers instead of automatically assuming the worst.
We launch the series with our friend, Ben, and his wife, Lauren. Ben wrestles with gender dysphoria (a feeling of disconnect between one's biological sex and their gender identity), and served as a pastor until he felt called by God to be authentic with his wrestling.
What happened next? What does gender dysphoria feel like? How does it impact a marriage and a pastor? Join us at the podcast table to hear more.
Highlights: "I very much tried to control the image of how people saw me. But . . . when people know me they can choose to love me and not some facsimile." --Ben Schulke
"I got to this place where I said, 'I would rather be obedient to God than preserve something temporary--like my job.'"--Ben Schulke
"Ben's identity is not gender dysphoria. His identity is not whatever other sin or brokenness he is dealing with. That's not who he is. He is a son of God, and he is loved by Him." --Lauren Schulke
Do the Next Thing: Connect with Ben and Lauren by emailing podcast@lauriekrieg.com Learn more about HIMH's Journey Well Training by emailing info@lauriekrieg.com Check out our Podcast Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast/?ref=bookmarks For more on this episode or HIMH: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/broken-beloved-pastors-part-1-with-ben-and-lauren-schulke/
Question of the Week for Next Week: What is your least favorite thing to pick up from the floor (that kids throw onto it)? Email podcast@lauriekrieg.com or find us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
This episode surprisingly convicted us because, well, we don't think much about food.
But, good grief, what we miss out on when we see food as a way to shovel nutrients (or happiness) in as opposed to a way to know God more deeply.
Food Network star, Melissa d'Arabian, invites us to the table with our creative, creator-of-food God. Through her vulnerable story and experience in the food entertainment industry, Melissa teaches us how to know Him more through eating.
This is a sweet one.
Highlights: "God could have created a nutrition-delivery system that was far less delicious and far more efficient that didn't require us to stop, sit, eat, prepare, and grow. But He didn't." --Melissa d'Arabian "Food has a way of saying, 'I see you.'" --Melissa d'Arabian
Do the Next Thing: Check out Melissa's book Tasting Grace: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07LDT8BMC/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 Check out her site (and food books/videos!) here: http://www.melissadarabian.net
Question of the Week for Next Week: What is your favorite word? Email podcast@lauriekrieg.com or find us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/ For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-gospel-and-food-with-melissa-darabian/
The Church is precious. It's Christ's beloved and broken bride.
But sex and sexuality conversations have notoriously challenged us for the last ... thousands of years.
New York Times bestselling author, Mo Isom, helps guide us through some of these conversations we have forgotten, and does it with storytelling and great passion. (She takes us to church!)
Grab a pew, and join us.
Highlights: "A lot of my issues grew out of the fact that my family thought the church was talking to me about the hard stuff, and the church thought my family was talking about the hard stuff. So really, no one was talking to me about the hard stuff. Therefore, the world ... was teaching me." --Mo Isom
"Nothing you bring to the foot of the cross is going to knock God off of His throne." --Mo Isom
Do the Next Thing: Check out the book, Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot: https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Jesus-Conversations-Church-Forgot-ebook/dp/B0741F8Y3C/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2SRF6QYEHYCM4&keywords=sex%2C+jesus%2C+and+the+conversations+the+church+forgot+by+mo+isom&qid=1567185697&s=gateway&sprefix=sex%2C+Jesus%2Caps%2C154&sr=8-1 Check out that video resource, Conversations Continued here: https://moisom.teachable.com Dig deeper into her first book (and testimony) here: https://www.amazon.com/Wreck-My-Life-Journeying-Broken-ebook/dp/B015J8UAFM/ref=pd_sim_351_1/147-5732013-3279728?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B015J8UAFM&pd_rd_r=de2cb64c-8c16-400f-8e03-6bfcf03418bc&pd_rd_w=ec0kS&pd_rd_wg=FWLyJ&pf_rd_p=5c130f77-a5ef-4ffd-9db1-c29a354f52f9&pf_rd_r=AX11KMNGRTJJQ16RHYMF&psc=1&refRID=AX11KMNGRTJJQ16RHYMF Discover More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/sex-jesus-and-the-conversations-the-church-forgot-with-mo-isom/
Question of the Week for Next Week: If you had to be stuck inside of a TV show for the rest of your life, which show and what character would you be? Email podcast@lauriekrieg.com or follow Laurie on Instagram to answer: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
Touch can be ... a touchy subject.
Some of us can overemphasize it and others can shun it. When Laurie recently said to Matt, "I wish I could live in a touch-free world," she realized just how touchy (and painful) non-sexual physical touch can be.
Instead of bury it, in classic Hole in My Heart Podcast fashion, we are bringing the conversation to the table. Matt, Laurie, Steve, and guest, Hayley Mullins, toss around questions ranging from what to do when we idolize touch, to how to carefully speak the "love language" of touch with those been affected by sexual assault.
This is another raw and (in our opinion) beautiful one. You are welcome to join us.
Highlights: "The way Jesus healed most often was with touch. I have to imagine because we are created bodily, and because our natural reaction when we fall and scrape our knee is to take our hands and put it over that wound, there is something intrinsic to physical touch that when used in a giving way, when used to attend to the needs of the person as opposed to try and take is more pronounced."--Matt Krieg
"When I was walking through a season where I was wrestling with, 'How do I use touch appropriately in a way that just loves people? ... How do I practice this ... if it is causing me problems?' [I needed to find] the ways to show the Father's love with touch in a way that is welcoming--in a way that draws them in as opposed to pulls them to yourself because of you. Instead, it welcomes in so that they can see Jesus more clearly." --Hayley Mullins
Do the Next Thing: Feel free to email us your thoughts or to connect with Hayley! podcast@lauriekrieg.com That HIMH Podcast FB group? Check it out here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast/?ref=bookmarks For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-gift-of-touch-with-hayley-mullins/
Question of the Week for Next Week: What was your favorite childhood toy? https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
How many of us have fought (and do fight) with heart-pumping, air-constricting anxiety?
How can we practically do battle with it? Bestselling author and popular speaker, Rebekah Lyons, helps us put on our boxing gloves to practically combat it.
"We don't know freedom until we know bondage. So let's acknowledge we are so hungry for God's rescue, and let's ask Him to do a mighty work." --Rebekah Lyons
"I questioned, 'Am I a fraud?' I thought there was a healing that happened, and I was loud about it. And yet I found myself in a place of frailty and desperation again." --Rebekah Lyons
Do the Next Thing: Find Rebekah's book and more at: https://rebekahlyons.com Connect with Laurie on IG: https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/ More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/how-to-do-battle-with-anxiety-with-rebekah-lyons/
Therapist Matt leads us through a way we can pray that helps us envision the God who Sees Us and prepares us to lament.
There is intense pain in the world and in our hearts--based on national or personal tragedy.
We may be quick to jump to anger, to text someone, to Twitter, to do something. These actions may not be wrong, but they can be wrong-hearted if we skip an important step: going to the Father with lament that leads to forgiveness and eventual love for our enemies.
It feels impossible--really, truly loving our enemies--but as believers we are called to do the impossible with the One who empowers us.
But how in the world can we do this lament that leads to forgiveness that leads to genuine love for our enemies?
We get as practical as we can in this episode, breaking down how we lament in real life, and even give you a bonus episode where Matt leads us like a midwife to birth these laments today. :)
Highlights: "I picture the cross of Christ, but I don't put the person ... on the cross ... He deserves it. So do I." --Laurie Krieg
"If there is anything that you could get out of this, yes, lament and understand what it is. But, understand that the God we go to is a God who wants all of us. Not just the joy, not just the sad, not just the stoic, not just the put-together, and not just the broken. All of it." --Matt Krieg
Do the Next Thing: Find the full episode notes and a lot here on the podcast episode page here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/before-we-jump-to-activism-with-the-crew/
When Laurie was a guest on Moody Radio, the station manager, Jack Haveman, was prompted to share this deeply personal and powerful story of God's breakthrough.
Friends? This podcast thing we do began as an act of obedience to God's prompting two years ago.
We. Had. No. Idea. How. Much. it would bless us and others. No clue.
Listening back to clips together got us feeling all the podcast feels again: Mostly, we felt the desire to fall on our faces and worship God who is knitting together this gorgeous thing called the Body of Christ.
God is on the move, dear siblings in Christ. God is moving in and through the Church, and He wants to move even more through those whose hearts are fully submitted to Him (2 Chronicles 16:9).
Tune in with us as we reflect on the last season, and some of our favorite moments and yours:
Episode 53: Saying "Yes" with Tom and Dana Mollhagen Episode 49: The Awkward Middle with David Bennett Episode 57: The "Whys" Behind Pornography Addiction with Jay Stringer Episode 64: Exploring Our Souls of Shame Part 1 and Part 2 with Curt Thompson Episode 80: Fill These Hearts with Christopher West Episode 74: The Need to Be Seen with Jeff Maness and John Wilson Episode 83: Sexuality and Shame with Dan Allender Episode 81: Living an Authentic Life with Ann Voskamp Do the Next Thing: That HIMH Podcast group? Check it out https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast/ ! This episode: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/our-favorites-and-yours-with-the-crew/
Question of the Week for AUGUST: How has this podcast impacted you? What guest ideas do you have for us for season three? Or themes we should pursue? Email podcast@himhministries.com to answer!
A recent survey says that 90 percent of clergy believe it is their responsibility to speak on important social issues, but the top two issues they feel unequipped to speak on are LGBT+ and same-sex marriage.
We need help.
Thankfully, there are pastors like Bruce B. Miller who are willing to lead us as we lead others.
In addition to walking us through beginning steps we can take as a church to better engage conversations around sexuality and LGBT+, we explore questions such as:
What if the staff/elders/deacons aren't united? Can we be on different pages theologically? Do we have to do a sermon series? (How in the world do we do that?) What if people leave?
This is another important equipping conversation to help us lead with grace and truth. (Click the links below for practical next step resources.)
Highlights: "To not preach on [sexuality] is to not give people leadership in an area where people have tremendous questions ... You either lead people in confusion or you give people wise guidance as a pastor." --Bruce Miller
"We need to start with ourselves and face ... the fact that I am also a sexual sinner. Because every adult past puberty is a sexual sinner." --Bruce B. Miller
"It's our bad theology of sex and our bad theology of singleness that undermines the vibrancy of our message to LGBT+ people." --Bruce Miller
"If you're not offending people on both sides, you're probably not doing it right." --Bruce Miller
Question of the Week for Next Week: It's our last episode of Season 2! How are you doing on your word for the 2019 year? Or your resolution? Where you at?
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/leading-a-church-in-a-time-of-sexual-questioning-with-bruce-b-miller/
One in two women and one in four men have encountered sexual trauma. The enemy's attempts to shred humanity through sexuality is pervasive, but those of us who have encountered sexual assault are not hopeless.
Author and teacher, Dr. Dan Allender, guides us through this hope-filled terrain utilizing decades of experience and research in the field of sexual trauma. He unpacks answers to questions like:
Why is shame linked to sexuality, and why is contempt often linked to shame?
Why and how do repressed memories resurface?
How can we engage painful past memories without pushing "eject" on our lives?
How can we respond in healthy ways to triggers?
Additionally, we explore some of Dan's gospel story out of a life of drug dealing and elicit behavior (as a response to his own pain), and invite him to kindly poke fun at Matt throughout the entire episode.
Highlights: "The return on investment for the kingdom of darkness is profound in regard to abuse. [It] disintegrates some level of our faith, our ability to trust, our ability to dream and hope, and certainly our ability to give delight and pleasure to one another." --Dan Allender
"When we use truth to deny truth ... we are doing what evil does when it quotes Scripture." --Dan Allender
"I've seen it literally thousands of times: People who enter the truth and allow their hearts to receive kindness ... that's the context for the Spirit of God to bring about remarkable change." --Dan Allender
Question of the Week for Next Week: What was your first car and what does it tell us about your personality?
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/sexuality-and-shame-with-dan-allender/
Lament. We've talked about it. We love it. Let's dig deeper than we ever have into it on this episode.
If we don't lament, what kind of people will we be?
Is there a line of honesty with God we shouldn't cross?
How do we really do it?
Pastor and author, Mark Vroegop, guides us through these questions and more with wisdom that can only come from someone who has suffered much, and has found his way out of the darkness by singing the minor key tune of lament.
Hear his story and practical care for our souls during today's conversation.
Highlights: "People who know how to lament are comfortable with saying less or nothing. They intuitively have a heart that is oriented toward empathy. They don't panic when their friend says something that is edgy or a little scary." --Mark Vroegop
"Lament is not just crying. Lament is talking to God about what causes the crying." --Mark Vroegop
"One out of every three songs in the official songbook of God's people--songs that had music and were sung--reflect this sort of minor key [lament] tune. We are not only unfamiliar with lament, but our churches are generally lament-light." --Mark Vroegop
Question of the Week for Next Week: What is something God has been teaching you lately and through what media? (Devotional, book, life experience, podcast, your version of suffering in this season...)
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/how-to-lament-with-mark-vroegop/
She has a huge platform: Hundreds of thousands of followers, millions of books sold, and many Christians are at least familiar with the name "Ann Voskamp." And yet when Ann writes, speaks, and engages social media, she does not hide behind the numbers. She writes grittily, authentically, and with boldness.
How is this possible? How can someone with such a great impact on the world maintain such a humble, vulnerable, and others-focused life?
We explore these questions as we engage Ann on living an authentic life. We talk the cost, the gifts, and the practical how-tos. (And of course, because we are the HIMH Podcast, we make time to take a trip to Goofball Island where we finally learn her real Enneagram number.)
You're welcome to join us.
Highlights: "I honestly don't think there should be platforms for writers. Jesus didn't have a platform. He had an altar where he came, he laid down his life, and he died for his friends. Writing is about a place to be brutally honest, have no reputation, and to pray that out of your death there can be people's resurrections." --Ann Voskamp
"We either have the mentality of [God as], 'Oh dear, I've messed up, Dad is going to kill me,' or 'Oh, dear, I've messed up, I need to call Dad.' ... David doesn't run from God, he runs to God, and he trusts that when we want a do-over Jesus covers us with un-erasable grace." --Ann Voskamp
"We are called to a table-like theology where we not only break bread around the table, but we break open our hearts around the table." --Ann Voskamp
Question of the Week for Next Week: What is a funny-ridiculous tradition your culture has? (Perhaps like how Laurie's Dutch family celebrates Tulip Time this time of year in Holland, MI. They dress up in old-timey Dutch clothes and painful wooden shoes and klompen dance.) What does your culture do that is silly like this?
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/living-an-authentic-life-with-ann-voskamp/
Matt and Laurie are doing an impossible thing (writing a book together?!) about their "impossible" marriage.
Hear a little bit more about the start of their adventure!
Everything we do—good, evil, neutral—speaks to our longing for heaven. World-renowned teacher of Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body and bestselling author, Christopher West, leans into this longing and unpacks it with outrageous wisdom and tenderness.
This is one we are all going to be going back and listening to several times. It is that rich.
(And don't worry: Those of you who want some of that goofball action, we make sure to talk about rats dying in Wendy's grease buckets. Yep.)
Highlights: "Here’s the whole Bible in five words: ‘God wants to marry us.’” --Christopher West
"We have three choices when it comes to our desire: We are either going to become the Stoic and repress the desire, an Addict and indulge in the finite pleasures of the world that never satisfy, or I am going to become…[an] Aspiring Mystic…someone who opens their hunger to the infinite.” --Christopher West
Question of the Week for Next Week: What were you modeled/taught to do with your emotions growing up? Share them? Bury them? Open up and emphasize certain ones? (Like anger?)
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/fill-these-hearts/
This is the story of a man who experienced attractions toward other men from a young age, found football, found God, found the Air Force (and excelled), and as a ministry leader came to grips with his same-gender attractions--now as a married-to-a-woman man.
God helped this man, Mike Rosebush, remove shame about his attractions, but people and circumstances placed him in conversion therapy. A major part of conversion therapy is seeking to make people change from gay to straight. It did not work.
However, as a licensed psychologist, Mike found himself in a position of counseling others who had a similar story. Mike had a choice: Follow the script he believed was unhelpful and unbiblical (to idolize sexual attractions as ultimate by making orientation change the primary goal), or find another way. He found another way: the path of sanctification and the path of daily surrender.
Hear more of Mike's journey and decision, and his exhortation to pastors and all Christians seeking to engage the LGBT+ conversation biblically and faithfully on today's episode.
Highlights: "Dear Friend ... We who have same-sex attraction, who are Evangelical, who devote our life to celibacy, and who absolutely believe everything in your orthodoxy, we are not your enemy." --Mike Rosebush
"I was not about to put those [clients] through what I was put through ... My perspective is: 'It's not going to leave. We don't know how it got into us. It's there. Let's live well with it'... [And] I absolutely knew and still know that the Trinity likes me and loves me--just as I am--even with these attractions." --Mike Rosebush Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/dear-evangelical-pastor-with-mike-rosebush/
The crew is back together!
Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve dive into their first-ever Q & D (Question & Discussion) podcast. Together, they explore areas they have wanted to dive into more deeply including:
-More of Matt's story of when he felt so purposeless he decided to end his life in junior high (and then launched into a coping mechanism of pornography addiction) -Some of our angst about left/right polarity and clinging to our "rights" as Christians -How parents who are fighting with their LGBT+ kids can seek deep relationship with one another -How false forgiveness has been used to silence victims -And! Things we are looking forward to (including) future episodes with Ann Voskamp, Christopher West, and Dan Allender!
Highlights:
"I was trying to solidify myself. Eventually, I got to the point where none of the things I was doing made me feel substantive ... Everything I was trying to put in this place of giving me purpose and giving me value it [didn't] work. 'I hate it. And I hate myself.'" --Matt Krieg
"If we don't see each other as family, we will throw each other each other under the bus as soon as the heat gets turned up. I am not going to to go the wall for a fellow customer at Walmart. But I will go to the wall for somebody who is a part of my family (even if I don't agree with them about everything), because I love them and am committed to them." --Steve O'Dell
"Are we grieving for our enemies? Or are we screaming at our enemies and clinging to our 'rights'? Jesus himself did not cling to his rights, but he considered them nothing and took the humble form of a servant." --Laurie Krieg
Do the Next Thing:
https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/q-d-1-purpose-church-angst-and-your-questions/
{Week 10 Core Need is the need for purpose: filled with a sense of profoundly mattering.}
Unless we are feeling severely depressed, every human intrinsically feels this need to matter, to have purpose, and to make a mark on the world. Sometimes, this purpose-need gets redirected from receiving our marching orders from Jesus to staring at marriage: It will complete me.
Let's bust that whole thing apart with "Breaking the Marriage Idol" author, Kutter Callaway.
We also explore your responses to what you grew up with as a paradigm for marriage (was singleness an option?), dig into the need to intentionally place women in positions of influence, and try to affirm our working theory that we are attracted to spouses and friends who are opposite to us when it comes to loving or loathing jigsaw puzzles.
You're welcome.
Highlights:
"Let's get rid of ... romance altogether. What are we left with? We are left with these amazing things that we should all be committed to: The welfare of widows and orphans, [and a commitment] to the welfare beyond simply the spouse that I am marrying . . . This is the family that God has called us into: A radically extended and open-armed family--not this sort of closed dyad we get if we start with that myth of romantic love."--Kutter Callaway
"I don't think anyone is walking around with a generic, abstract 'call' to marriage or singleness ... To walk into [life with a] Bachelor or Bachelorette vision where, 'I am just going to be with someone at the end of this. It doesn't really matter who the 25 people are--it's just survival of the fittest. You are the winner for my marriage calling!" That is the idol." --Kutter Callaway
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-need-for-purpose-with-kutter-callaway/
{Week 9 Core Need is the need to be unique: delightfully special.}
We've explored the need to be included (belong), but how does that interplay with our good need to be unique?
We talk through this balance with foster and adoptive parents, Brett and Janelle Beimers. Their decision to adopt and foster models Christ's desire for radical inclusion (belonging), but they still need to cultivate each of their children's unique sense of self. How do they do that? What are the challenges to engaging both needs simultaneously--while also balancing the unique path of foster and adoptive life?
We explore these questions with them while, of course, playing a unique game and talking about our (and your, dear listeners) trademark things that make us feel like ourselves.
Highlights:
"One of our family themes or mottos has been, 'When God is generous to you or blesses you, build a longer table--not a bigger wall.'" --Brett Beimers
"You have the space, you see the need, and then you get the call... There are many many reasons to say ‘no’ [to a child], but there are also many many reasons to say 'yes.'" --Janelle Beimers
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-need-to-be-unique-with-brett-and-janelle-beimers/
How can we lovingly engage a world that opposes what we believe?
What is Laurie's ongoing practice to engage pushback?
One word: Lament. Laurie Krieg will walk you through the why's and how to's of what should be every Christian's ongoing practice of "venting to the only One who can do something about your pain."
{Week 8 Core Need is the need to be safe: Unafraid; trusting everything is under control.}
Many of us struggle with anxiety and fear. (Most of us? All of us?) We could shame ourselves. ("Why am I still wrestling with this!? I should know I'm safe!") But instead of shaming ourselves, why don't we look below the fear to the good need driving that fear: the need to be safe?
We unpack this good need to be safe with author and award-winning musician, Michael Card. Through the lens of safety, we explore God's character--His inexpressible hesed or lovingkindness and His invitation to rail on His chest in lament.
Highlights: "This is the same God who spoke the universe into existence, who laid the foundations of the earth, [and] who created the stars and named each one of them. That same God invites me to exhaust myself against him when I'm confused or angry--even at him." --Michael Card
"Hesed is when the person from whom I have a right to expect nothing gives me everything--not a second chance, more chances than you can possibly imagine." --Michael Card
"Because God is a god of lovingkindness [hesed] I am safe to say... anything... Nowhere in Scripture does God say, 'How dare you talk to me like that.'" --Michael Card
"Worship comes from the Old English worth-ship. To worship God is to celebrate his worth. You don't discover his worth at a picnic on a green lawn. You discover his worth when you're hungry and you need manna. You discover his worth in the wilderness." --Michael Card
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-need-to-be-safe-with-michael-card/
{Week 7 Core Need is the need to be seen: Noticed inside and out.}
This episode has two gripping stories: One is of a pastor named John who, at a young age, recognized his attractions to his same gender. Burying the secret led him to hospitalization due to the chronic stress. Slowly, carefully, he came out to trusted friends, and found some freedom as he daily surrendered himself to Christ.
But then he moved far away, started working in a church, and the secret threatened to bury him again in shame. He needed to come out again, but the person with whom he most needed to share was both his pastor and his boss. What would he say? Would he lose his job? Would this pastor/boss see him and love him as God does?
Enter the second story of John's boss and lead pastor, Jeff: Years before this conversation with John, God had begun to prepare Jeff's heart and his mind to receive John's story. Had God not set the stage, Jeff said he would have fired John after he came forward with his attractions toward men--even though John was surrendering his version of broken sexuality to the Lordship of Christ every day (as we are all called to do).
How did God radically change Jeff's heart? How did John find the courage to share? How did the entire church practically engage this conversation as a result?
Listen and find yourself at the foot of the cross with us in awe of the gospel's good news for everyone every day.
P.S. Today's after-show bloopers? Matt accidentally got slipped into live Christian radio to thousands of people while we did a mic check--and during this mic check he pretended to be an NPR host. (Shake our red-faced heads.)
Highlights:
"That fear of coming out was powerful, but it was not as powerful as the pain of being hidden." --John Wilson
"He didn't pull any punches... 'I'm gay' [he said.] Four years ago? I probably would have fired him on the spot just thinking that by him saying, 'I'm gay' he meant, 'I'm pursuing gay sex or a same sex romantic relationship.' But praise God instead of assuming--because God had done so much work in my heart--I learned to actually ask questions." --Jeff Maness
"In the 15 months since I told Pastor Jeff and brought this piece of myself into the light, the darkness and the mold and the sin and the dankness that was around has gone away . . . I have experienced such an increased amount of holiness and sanctification in my life because of the ability to be seen. I have legitimate accountability now because I can be honest with people." --John Wilson
"This has held a mirror up to our whole congregation--a mirror that needs to be held up to the big "C" Church. Have we lost people? Yes, we have lost a few. ... [But] we are going to stand on what we believe is the truth, we are going to offer what we believe is the radical grace of Jesus, and we are going to present to everyone this gospel message of all of us are called to die. And if that means we have some death in the process ourselves? Then that is the cost for us in this . . . It's time. It's time for the Church to speak into this boldly." --Jeff Maness
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-need-to-be-seen-with-jeff-maness-and-john-wilson/
{Week 6 Core Need is the need to be included: Wanted in this group, team, or partnership; belonging}
It seems as if the good need God put into us before the Fall to belong or be included goes hand-in-hand with authenticity. To belong--truly belong--we must be willing to get real. But how many of us feel we are scoring 100% at the relational authenticity level? Social media tells us we have hundreds or thousands of friends, but do we really belong? This is what our guest, Ethan Renoe, calls the "new lonely," and he wrote a book with the same title: The New Lonely: Intimacy in the Age of Isolation.
Ethan and the guys (Laurie is out sick!) explore how we try to solve our loneliness problem through wanderlust, pornography, and Ethan's viral, overnight fame. (Do you remember the video of the guy running shirtless in the rain?) The guys also play a Goofball Island game where they have to insert the moral of the story into some classic youth group entertainment.
Thanks for hanging out with us--it helps take off some of the edge of universal problem of loneliness.
Highlights:
"I realized I was in a really unhealthy pattern where I would show up to a place and I'd be this really mysterious, cool, traveler guy, and before anyone could get to know me, I would leave." --Ethan Renoe
"Lonely people will often try to get rid of the loneliness by drowning it out. It's still going to be there when you're alone and it's quiet." --Ethan Renoe
"I realized that I was trying to pour from an empty cup. I was filling that void with false digital relationships with women on the internet. There was moment where I realized I can be real with people. I can say when I have a bad day, when I'm feeling excluded, and people can respond to how I'm feeling . . . People can get to know the real me." --Ethan Renoe
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-need-to-be-included-with-ethan-renoe/
{Week 5 Core Need is the need for love: Unconditionally accepted}
All you need is love. It's a nice song, but what about the actual experience of love? How can we feel it deeply before we see Jesus face-to-face?
Author and speaker, Jennifer Kennedy Dean, guides us to a deeper experience of God's love that is not tethered to our circumstances (death of siblings, death of spouses, or a deep wrestling with the reality of prayer), but is richly intertwined to the alive and active Holy Spirit in us.
We also play a game called, "Love Song or Worship Song?" and somehow learn a deep lesson based on how goofy we look while dolphin watching.
Highlights: "You are never going to be able to get love in the way exactly that you want to, but you can give love. When you give love not for the purpose of making someone love you, but for the purpose of expressing the Jesus who lives in you, you are going to find that fulfilling." --Jennifer Kennedy Dean
"Prayer is more than sandwiching words between, 'Dear God' and 'Amen.' There is a whole aspect of prayer that is going on directly from your heart to God's that might not even have words on it yet." --Jennifer Kennedy Dean
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-need-to-be-loved-with-jennifer-kennedy-dean/
{Week 4 Core Need is the need for rest: Re-centered and reset in mind, body, spirit; includes having fun}
Why is it that it seems whoever is the busiest is winning at life? If you are stressed, busy, but magically not anxious, you hold a higher status?
We talk about this with Adam Mabry, whose wife laughed at him when he told her he was asked to write a book on rest. This pastor, teacher, and author of the book, "The Art of Rest: Faith to Hit Pause in a World that Never Stops," was able to write the book after experiencing what it was like to live a life without rest, and watching it lead to total breakdown. We explore this story, practical ways to combat the "I'm better because I'm busier" game, and why being a pastor who exegetes Romans while on a unicorn might be the best way to do church.
;)
Highlights: "I broke. I have this vivid memory of it being 1 or 2 in the morning, and I am painting baseboards, crying, cursing, angry, praying mess, and that was the beginning of, 'Hm, I don’t think I can achieve my way out of this.' I hit the dark pretty hard for six or nine months. The practice of rest was acknowledging that there is a God in heaven and a sovereign ruler of the universe, and His name is not my name.” --Adam Mabry
"As an achiever, Jesus achieved par excellence . . . In three years he achieved redemption of the cosmos. In three years I barely got a Master's degree . . . [Jesus] got a lot done and did it more restfully than most of us." --Adam Mabry
"If the Church of Jesus Christ is made up of anxiety-driven, restless people, it doesn’t say a lot about a gospel of grace that is very good." --Adam Mabry
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-need-for-rest-with-adam-mabry/
{Week 3 Core Need is the need to be affirmed: Overwhelmingly approved of.}
Do you ever wrestle with knowing God wants you to share the gifts He gave you with the world, but not knowing how much you should "market" yourself? Shouldn't the Holy Spirit just do that for us?
We do wrestle with this, so we brought in bestselling author and speaker, Shannon Popkin, who co-wrote the book, Influence: Building a Platform to Elevates Jesus (Not Me).
We explore this conversation in the context of the Core Need to be affirmed. How do we allow God to affirm us while navigating the murky waters of speaking the message He gave us?
Put on your lifejackets because we are going to dive in.
We also play another ridiculous game called "Spin This" (where Steve, Matt, and Shannon have to affirm everyone from Winnie the Pooh to Han Solo). Thanks for playing and hanging with us.
Highlights: "There is such a connection between my message and me that it's really hard not to get 'my message' caught up in it being 'all about me.'" --Shannon Popkin
"We are positioned there in this elevated state not so people can say, 'Look at me!' . . . We are positioned there to serve." --Shannon Popkin
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-need-to-be-affirmed/
{Week 2 Core Need is the need to be desired: Specially chosen--no pretense necessary.}
The idea of mixed-orientation marriages (where one spouse is straight and the other is not) can make people scratch their heads saying, "How does that work?" Today, through the lens of the Core Need to be desired, mixed-orientation couple, Ty and Rachel Wyss, get real about their marriage, their need to be desired, and leave us--married and single--with wise, God-given wisdom to walk well. This is another sacred story you don't want to miss.
The group also talks how we can express needs without being "needy," Love Languages (with feedback from you all!), and, as always, how the gospel was and is good news.
Thanks for joining us!
Highlights: "The need to be desired manifested for me . . . in the desire to be somebody's best friend, somebody's everything, somebody's first choice." --Rachel Wyss
"Wanting my wife or wanting my friends to desire me--it's so easy to attach the word 'needy' to it . . . When I realize I'm feeling shame for a need, I remember God has wired it into me. If He has wired it into me, then I get to start blessing that need." --Ty Wyss
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-need-to-be-desired/
{Week 1 Core Need is the need to be nurtured: Cared for; held.}
It's time to dive deeply into Core Needs. What are they? They are good needs God put into us for things like belonging, purpose, affirmation, and to be seen and desired. The Fall threw a wrench in our once-natural ability to get them perfectly met by God and supported by people, however, and now we have natural inclinations to get these good needs met in ways that don't satisfy us and don't glorify God. (That natural inclination is known as our sin nature.) Our default is now idolatry.
Eden Invitation co-founders, Anna Carter and Shannon Ochoa, launch our 10-week series on Core Needs by talking about the need for nurture. These ministry leaders guide us beautifully through wrestling with how we see nurture develop throughout our life, and how we can look to our friends to support this nurture need without slipping into co-dependence.
We also talk tattoos, donuts, and "getting in the freaking car" for a worship sesh.
Join us on a journey of the soul.
Highlights: "One of my continual lessons is spiritual childhood: As we age, nurture looks differently. But I am always a child of my heavenly Father." --Anna Carter
“At the end of the day it’s an invitation: To love and be loved . . . There’s not a sense of dependence or your friends completing you, but we must be comfortable in naming it: 'In order for me to lean into the Lord more easily, I want to invite you to walk with me.’” --Shannon Ochoa
“By confessing to another person my own need, my own vulnerability, and my own woundedness, I am providing them with an opportunity to help me live the Christian life. I am providing them an opportunity to be a disciples—to imitate Jesus.”--Anna Carter
Do the Next Thing: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-need-for-nurture/
Author, speaker, and professor, Dr. Christopher Yuan, brings his authentic self and expertise to the podcast microphone today.
In addition to hearing his story, we explore our favorite names of God (with you listeners), expand on the reasons why it is beneficial to the church that there are more conversations around sexuality and gender in the world, and explore the questions, "Is God gender fluid?" "Why don't you identify as gay?" and "How do you confront the lonely life?"
It's another real life conversation on the HIMH Podcast.
Highlights: "We talk about the world having safe spaces. I wonder: Should not the church be the safest place in the world? Are we safe? I think we have a lot of ways to grow and learn. But, we don't just want to be safe. We want to be safe and redemptive." --Christopher Yuan
"I looked and I studied for friendship [in the Bible], and I didn't find much, unfortunately . . . David and Jonathan are never called friends once. But they are called brothers."--Christopher Yuan
"We really need to begin living as the church. As family. Yes, we have our blood relatives, but honestly? That is temporary. Marriage is temporary. The only true eternal relationship that we will carry on to heaven are those bound by the blood of Christ." --Christopher Yuan
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/holy-sexuality-and-the-gospel/
Failure makes you feel like . . . a failure. Should it? Should we celebrate some failures instead?
Today we talk from Chad Bird, speaker, podcaster, and author of Upside-Down Spirituality: The 9 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life.
We will cover seven of those nine "essential failures." Three of which are: 1. The failure to believe in ourselves or, "The good news that God doesn’t believe in you" 2. The failure to follow our hearts or "Go home heart, you’re drunk" 3. The failure to find our soulmate or "Love will not sustain your marriage"
We also continue a bit of the shame talk (hearing from you listeners!), and play a Bible trivia game utilizing Matt Krieg's Bible trivia book from the 90s and the minds of all the nerds on the podcast.
Chad is real and really helpful. You're welcome to join us at the table.
Highlights: "God is a beatitude kind of God. He calls something 'blessed' that the world would often call 'cursed.'" --Chad Bird
"Its no wonder if the kids wonder if God hates them, because a lot of what we experience in life make us feel like there is somebody above us, and we are on his hit list . . . The more we can focus God's love for us and everything that entails, that's really what the kids and the adults need to hear over and over." --Chad Bird
"The more time we spend being formed but the Jerusalem of the church, the safer we will be in the Babylon of the world."--Chad Bird
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/7-essential-failures-of-a-faithful-life/
"I think I am afraid of being in God’s presence. The thing is I am afraid to be in my presence. I am afraid to look at and have God see me as I see me . . . I am sure that when I look up again He will have left the rom. And shockingly, He does not." --Curt Thompson, M.D.
Let's dive right back into the shame conversation with Dr. Curt Thompson, and explore how shame began and how we can practically combat it.
Highlights: "God—even in His pursuit—He is not going to shame us. He is not going to twist my arm. He is not going to shame me for not having my shame cleaned up well enough. He is going to relentlessly pursue me."—Curt Thompson
"The healing of shame is not just a way for us to not longer feel bad about ourselves. It’s a way to re-commission us to do the work of goodness and beauty that God has had for us since before the creation of the world." —Curt Thompson
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/exploring-our-souls-of-shame-part-2/
Shame affects all of us--even if we don't know how to name it. It often drapes us in a vague feeling of being covered in a wet blanket. It speaks, "I am worth less. I must hide. There is something wrong with me."
How can we address it neurologically, spiritually, and practically? We brought in the big guns to answer all three shame categories today: Dr. Curt Thompson, MD, author of one of our favorite books, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves.
This and next week's conversation are not ones to miss. They impacted us all deeply.
Highlights: "The gospel--if it is good news--does not begin with 'I am more sinful than I believe.' It begins, in fact, with 'I am more loved than I can imagine.' It is in that space of being loved incessantly, relentlessly, that we become aware just how sinful we are." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D.
"It is not difficult for us to register [shame] in catastrophic events (bullying, sexual and physical abuse, or some kind of public humiliation). The thing is, as far as our real life is concerned, the vast majority of how these [shame] events actually occur is in the privacy of our own minds. It is the dozens of times when we say to ourselves 'I should have done this. I should have done that. I'm not good enough at this. I'm not good enough at that.' . . . It's these micro-moments that turn into a death of a thousand cuts." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D.
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/exploring-our-souls-of-shame-part-1/
Peek between the cracks of the podcast to hear updates on our words for the year ("Do you feel like God gave you that word?"), look forward to our words for 2019, and hear us encourage each other unplanned. As we reflect on this year of pain and growth, we may even shed a couple tears between our laughs. (Of course we do. :) )
We love you, guys. Thanks for being a major joyful part of our year.
It's almost the new year, and many of us are thinking about doing something to jumpstart positive choices next year.
But what about today?
Sharon Garlough Brown, author of the Sensible Shoes series, walks (ha) us through the basics and depth of spiritual disciplines. We cover things like, "Are spiritual disciplines for the hyper-spiritual, Enneagram 4, flower children?" "Does lament have to be so depressing?" and "What can we do today--what one step can we take?"
We also play a pretty hilarious game of "Finish that Christmas Carol."
We'd love for you to join us.
Highlights:
"That’s what lament is: It’s crawling up into the lap of God, saying the hard things, and knowing that God holds us in those things.” --Sharon Garlough Brown
"A spiritual discipline is a grace discipline. I don’t have the power to make myself more like Jesus, but I can practice things that will help me be more attentive . . . and responsive to His call.” --Sharon Garlough Brown
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/jump-starting-spiritual-disciplines/
At HIMH we sometimes call ourselves "gospel addicts," but what is an addict? Author, psychologist, and addiction expert, Dr. Gregory Jantz, breaks down some of the attributes and questions we may have for ourselves or our friends on how to take steps away from the following addictions: Alcohol Food (eating too much or little) Work Sex/pornography Relationships TV/Netflix Social Media
Because we can't help ourselves, we dive into the Die Hard debate (Christmas movie or nah?), and play a game called, "Top Toy or Misfit?" (Players have to guess which toy is a top seller this year, and which one was dubbed a danger.)
Come play and learn with us.
Highlights: "A relapse handled properly is all about recovery--because we are learning from it." --Dr. Gregory Jantz
"[We must look in the] mirror and say, 'If I keep doing this, what is going to happen to me? What is going to happen to those I love?" --Dr. Gregory Jantz
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/lets-admit-it-were-all-addicts/
Fruit of knowing the Good News is believing that God loves kids.
He cares about their souls, he cares about their spirits, and he cares about their bodies.
That is the focus of this episode: How can we protect our children, our nieces and nephews, and our friends' kids from childhood sexual abuse? How can we do it in a way that is not "shamey"?
We explore it today with experts and authors of the important kids' book, 'God Made All of Me,' Justin and Lindsey Holcomb. (We also play a silly "Is this a Hallmark Movie or a Shmallmark Movie" game, and it turns out they are experts there, too.)
Highlights: "We need to start talking young because 1 out of 5 kids will be victims of childhood sexual abuse before their 18th birthday."--Justin Holcomb
"[If you talk about body protection with kids] it builds a trust so that if something happens, if they are exposed to something . . . they are going know, 'Mom and Dad know about this. They talked to me about this. They are safe and understand this.'" --Lindsey Holcomb
"We are all about swimming safety, bicycle safety, wearing your helmet, getting in your your car seat, and wearing your seat belt. Add this to that: This is body safety. This is prevention and awareness. Lump it into that category, and feel empowered in your role as their advocate." --Lindsey Holcomb
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/keeping-the-kids-safe/
Let's take it back to the basics and then broaden to the more complex: What does LGBTQIA mean (and why doesn't the term "homosexuals" cover it)? Where can parents take their mix of emotions when their kid comes out? Is there even a right and wrong when it comes to the gender conversation?
We are tackling some big and basic questions related to pastors, parents, and therapists today, and who better to navigate with us than Christian expert in the field, Dr. Mark Yarhouse?
Mark is Professor of Psychology at Regent University in Virginia Beach, and has published over 80 peer-reviewed journal articles and very helpful books in including, Understanding Sexual Identity: A Resource for Youth Ministers and Understanding Gender Dysphoria: Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture.
Ready? Let's go.
Highlights: "What happens in ministries and what happens in families is we overreact to what's above the surface . . . rather than minister to what's beneath." ---Dr. Mark Yarhouse
"A lot of times youth ministers will say, 'It's not my experience, so how can I be a trail guide?' You don't have to be Bear Grylls, you just need to be familiar with the trail. You just have to have walked the trail with other people . . . and to read up on it." --Dr. Mark Yarhouse
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/walking-well-as-pastors-parents-and-therapists/
Heyyyy! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you in the United States! Happy "we are thankful for you all" if you are not in the States. In this 8-minute special we debate whether or not you put the stuffing in the turkey.(Answer: Find Alton brown's killer recipe on the link below for turkey SANS STUFFING. Throwaway turkeys are welcome for such goodness.) We also get a lil' bit serious on what we are thankful for. Get it here, kids.
That Link: (At the bottom of the last episode): https://www.himhministries.com/blog/episode-59-a-tiny-living-act-of-obedience
What do you get when you cross 350-square-feet, six people, a one one-eyed cat named Sirius, and an honest look at what makes up our identity? This episode.
Ashley Auerbach, a mom of four turned-tiny-living expert (whose life is soon to be featured on a TV show!), talks about obedience and the beautiful shredding it does to our perceptions of self.
We also have her figure out our tiny living problems such as how to play Cones of Dunshire in our hypothetical new RV, and what to do in said hypothetical RV if we want to buy our kids those crazy huge Costco bears for Christmas.
We laugh and get real per usual.
Highlights: “My identity was wrapped up in what I did for people and how I entertained and how I opened my home. Because I couldn’t do any of those things my identity took a real hit. And it’s still taking a real hit.” --Ashley Auerbach
"[God] allowed these circumstances of my health to fail so I could get to the place where I would say ‘yes’ to the more he would have for me." --Ashley Auerbach
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/a-tiny-living-act-of-obedience/
Yup. We are talking about looks. Specifically, clothing. This may seem like too surface-level of a conversation for this podcast, but aren't clothes an expression of who we are? An expression of who God made us to be?
We would say, yes.
This conversation arose as I (Laurie) was stressing out way too much about what to wear on a stage. I found myself dressing for my audience as opposed to dressing as an expression of who God made me to be.
Then Kelli ODell--a friend and our Producer Steve's wife--entered the scene. She got to know my heart and helped me express it tangibly.
Now, I don't stress. I just live.
If you feel annoyingly stressed about expressing yourself tangibly via clothes, you may leave practically encouraged after listening.
Highlights: "When you do this process and find out, 'These are my colors, these are the shapes that look good,' it simplifies your life . . . You are freed up to focus on other people. You kind of forget about yourself." --Kelli O'Dell
"So many of us see what looks cool on XYZ celebrity, and we are like, 'Okay, that is a cool look. I want to try that on.' What Kelli does is she confirms whether that particular look is right for you as an individual. Versus trying to be like someone else, it's helping you be more like who you are." --Steve O'Dell
For More (Including quizzes you can take!): https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/if-looks-could-heal/
If you have ever struggled with pornography addiction or are close to someone who has, please listen to this episode.
Licensed mental-health counselor, ordained minister, and author Jay Stringer, helped peel back the layers of understanding for all of us as we heard results of his nearly 4,000-person study on the "whys" behind unwanted sexual behavior.
From the research laid out in his incredible book, Unwanted, we dig into family systems that can foster certain types of lust and anger, the power of shame (and what removes it), and steps to take toward actual freedom.
And of course, Chuck Norris and some ridiculous high-fiving action make an appearance.
Highlights: "We need to learn to listen to our lust, and see what it says about us." --Jay Stringer
"We need to begin to break some of the silence up, to say, 'Because we are made in God's image we are sexual, and that is a beautiful, stunning thing. And yet because evil cannot destroy the glory and goodness of God, evil will then go after that which most reflects God's glory and image, which is of course, our sexuality.'" --Jay Stringer
"If we are really wanting change, what does it mean to not condemn ourselves for our unwanted sexual behavior, to not hate ourselves for our sexual story, but to be kind about how it in some ways makes a lot of sense--given the life that we've had?" --Jay Stringer
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-whys-behind-pornography-addiction/
Do you intrinsically feel the shift in culture over the last ten years or so, but you can't quite name it?
Author and pastor Sam Allberry can.
In addition to being a really great hang, Sam lays out four cultural shifts and seven responses to those shifts on today's episode.
This is not one to miss.
Highlights: "As I deny self I don't become less me. As I follow Jesus and deny self I become more the me God had thought up in the first place. Isn't that amazing? God can take a group of us and we all become more like Jesus, but we won't become more like each other." --Sam Allberry
"Jesus is not as easy as we think he is when it comes to these issues. That is so important to know because if they are angry at this stuff they aren't angry at Christianity, they aren't angry at me, they aren't angry at you, they aren't angry at the church. Actually, their real issue is with Jesus, and they need to realize that." --Sam Allberry
Fore More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/seven-ways-to-navigate-a-sexually-shifting-culture/
If you grew up in the purity movement era of Christianity--where a lot of talk around sexuality was based on 'just say 'no' to sex before marriage'--were you burned by it? Encouraged by it?
Our friend, Jason Soucinek, executive director and founder of ProjectSix19 talks us through the benefits and detriments of talking about sexuality with a focus on this type of purity, and helps us consider another way.
We also dig into favorite group games (just don't talk about kickball kaythxsbye), get a bit crazy about being inclusive of single people, and have a giant take us to Goofball Island for reasons we still don't quite know.
Highlights: "As a parent, you want to be Google to your children--especially when it comes to [sexuality]." --Jason Soucinek
"I think if we're only looking at two parts [fall and redemption] and we are starting with the Fall, then our language is going to be around sin, and the language of, 'no, 'bad,' and 'not good.' We'll eventually get to 'image of God' or 'Jesus' or 'forgiveness,' but that's just not the story I see taking place. It starts with, 'It was very good.'" --Jason Soucinek
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/purity-movement-or-sexual-integrity/
Every week, we invite people into our home for food, conversation, and games. It's basically the podcast but in real life.
My real life little sister, Angela Bowles, talks about how this works both as a biological sibling and sister in Christ.
We also discuss the first time I shared my story with Angela (on her 16th birthday?!), how we get motivated to do difficult things, and PLEASE listen to the after-closing bloopers. We guffawed.
Highlights:
"I got super convicted by my own mouth on a stage. I was talking [on a platform] about how the Church is the hope of the world, and how we need to open up our doors to anyone who needs family. It was the Holy Spirit pinpricking my heart saying, 'You got to open up your own home and invite people in.'" --Laurie Krieg
'That's why Fram Din works: It's because it's not about sexual issues necessarily, it's about being 'with.'" --Angela Bowles
'I've really loved seeing the interaction of people with our daughters. Our oldest daughter, Gwyn, is super excited: She starts praying for the family and it's all of her cousins, all of Family Dinner, and all the people she interacts with that she cares about. It's really cool to see that in her mind that they truly have been adopted into the family." --Matt Krieg
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/family-dinner/
Do you ever wonder how people can go from living comfortably to saying "yes" to serving people courageously?
We do.
So we asked some of our friends how they did it.
Tom Mollhagen transformed from being born in a brothel in India, to living the American dream, to going back and serving those he left behind. His wife, Dana, went from accepting Jesus on a swing set at five years old, to a successful nursing career, to working side-by-side with Thomas in India.
Our friends are not special Christians; they are normal Christians who are obedient.
Hear how they went from the American dream to saying "yes" no matter what (and of course play a ridiculous game alongside them) on this week's episode.
Highlights: "I was born in a brothel. I was the untouchable, and the lowest caste. We had no hope. The only way they can live out of that caste system is by bringing the gospel and telling them they don't have to live that life. God paid for it... We don't have to earn it anymore." --Tom Mollhagen
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/saying-yes/
91% of US adults believe the best way to find yourself is by looking within yourself, and 2 out of 5 Americans believe that, when it comes to what happens in the country today, "people of faith" and "religion" are a part of the problems in our country.
How can we speak into this environment as believers?
Author, speaker, and leader of leaders, Gabe Lyons, helps break down how Christians can be both courageous and faithful in a world that thinks we are extreme and irrelevant.
We also discuss the Gabe's Enneagram number, one of his most embarrassing moments, and we all were privileged to watch God weave the conversation together with the themes of courage and confession.
This one is not one to miss.
Highlights:
"People are afraid to speak up... There is actually this belief in the 'boogey man'--this monster out there that's bigger in your mind than it really is. You start to realize that when you start to tell the truth, people are hungry for the truth, they are looking for the truth, nobody is saying the truth, and finally when somebody does in a kind, loving way (and with the right posture), people start to respond." --Gabe Lyons
"The reality is most people are not looking for a debate. They are looking for someone who is loving and kind, but also willing to be confident in what they believe." --Gabe Lyons
For More (including some statistics from his book): https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/good-faith-takes-good-courage/
Do you ever feel like you are a spiritual extremist? Some days you're running so hard and fast toward Jesus, and then you get tired. Or you mess up. Or someone says something to throw you off and you stop. And putz around a bit. And get discouraged. But then you get convicted and you start sprinting until you...don't.
This back-forth, sprint-stop can be exhausting.
Josh Kelley, author of 'Radically Normal', talks through some of this "obsessive Christianity" and "complacent Christianity." What is the difference? How can we halt the extremism cycle?
It was a conversation that made us all think. And laugh. (We play a game called "Christian or Secular" and the team has to decide if the lyrics belong to a Christian or not Christian song. Enya seems to walk the line of both.)
Highlight: "I face more temptation going to a Bible study than going to the bar. And this is why: I was a smart kid, and my identity was being this smartest one in the room--knowing more about the Bible. Every time I walk into a Bible study or walk into a church, my temptation to prove myself or to prove my spiritual astuteness is overwhelming." --Josh Kelley
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/radically-normal/
Author, poet, and artist, Jackie Hill Perry, is in the house! As we do with every guest, we get at the intersection between the gospel and Jackie's real, right-now life.
In addition to Jackie's story of surrender, we discuss how she and her husband stay connected through the storms of life, how to interact with people who want to make her into a deity or the devil, and if she were forced to only use Comic Sans or Papyrus fonts for the rest of her life--which would she choose?
Join us.
P.S. You can hear Jackie's four-month-old baby off and on throughout the podcast. It's the sweetest.
Highlights:
"Randomly, the strongest thought came to my head that said, 'My sin will be the death of me.' I was like, 'Oh, that was weird.' I started to think about my sin and it's consequences . . . I tried to be Christian before. I had said the sinner's prayer like 12 times before and it never worked. I knew I could not save myself. I knew, 'If you're calling me to be holy, that has to be something You do.' I told God, 'What you're calling me to do I know I can't do on my own, but I know enough about you to know that you'll help me.'" --Jackie Hill Perry
"I think my challenge was would I ever love him [my husband, Preston] truly? Will I ever be as attracted to him as I was to the women I was with? Will I ever feel like I can be myself? Those were a lot of my fears." --Jackie Hill Perry
"I really do believe that the gospel is foolish to those who are perishing. I really do believe that part of being a Christian is to be misunderstood. I cling a lot to the fact that when Jesus was teaching the truth they had the audacity to say he was possessed." --Jackie Hill Perry
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/gay-girl-good-god-and-good-marriage/
If you're in need of hearing a story of God's unmistakable reality, you may want to listen here.
David Bennett, author of 'A War of Loves' (Zondervan, Nov. 2018), shares his story and God's obvious breaking into his life. David was a once an atheist LGBT+ activist, and now pours out his life for all people because of God's love in him. The story includes a psychic telling him he was chosen by Jesus, asking his friends what love is, a prophetic moment from an uncle, and a life-transforming prayer in a bar.
But after that transformation, David still has to walk what we call the awkward middle--navigating relationships on either "side" of this conversation. How does that work?
Let's dig in.
We also play a game called "Elevensies," where we talk about which type of snack is absolutely necessary during morning snacks, afternoon tea, and movie snacks.
Highlights: "[Madeline] said to me, 'David, have you experienced the love of God? You don't know the meaning of those desires until you experience the love of God.' She inflected to me that she really didn't like the narrow-mindedness of a lot of the Christian community and how horribly the LGBTQI community had been treated. That bowled me over. I had never had a Christian actually care--really actually care and embrace me as if they got what I'd been through. That was so powerful and disarming. Then she said . . . 'I really feel the presence of God right now. I have to pray for you. Do you mind if I pray for you? Is that okay? I don't usually pray for people but I just feel this compulsion. God's love is so intense for you." . . . It wasn't that [God] loved me as a fact, but she was experiencing how much more God loved me more than everything else. It was as if this love was unique for just me. It was the one thing that could get through the huge wall I had built over my heart." --David Bennett
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-awkward-middle/
Gratitude. Joy. Hope.
God has done some healing work on us, and we are sharing a few reasons why and how. We get practical.
Also we do a live, old-timey candy taste testing and it's disgusting.
Welcome.
Highlights: "The reason I didn't leave is the same reason you didn't leave. It's because of God." --Matt Krieg
"It's been so hard to crack open my heart and let people in, but it has been so worth it." --Laurie Krieg
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/how-we-heal-part-3/
Wesley Hill is known as a big brother to many people who have recently come out as celibate LGBT+ Christians. When this conversation was still whispered about in church basements, Wes stepped up to the podium and offered a beautiful picture of living with hope.
We talk about this "big brother" status, as well as dive into the new-to-us concept of emotional chastity: giving up the right or demand for extremely intimate non-sexual relationships.
We'd love to hear what you think of this concept of emotional chastity, and please let us know which goofy triathlon would you try. (You'll understand when you listen.)
Thanks for being a part of the HIMH Podcast fam!
Highlights: "Part of celibacy for me is not simply giving up a sexual relationship, but it's also a giving up that I have the right to an extremely intimate non-sexual relationship." --Wesley Hill
"When you choose a life of sexual absence . . . you're not just choosing not to go to bed with someone, but you're also choosing a kind of emotional chastity. You're choosing a life that is surrendering not just physical intimacy, but a certain amount of emotional intimacy--or at least the idea that someone owes you that or that God owes you that." --Wesley Hill
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/spiritual-friendships/
When I was first making the connection between my brain and attractions toward women, I promised myself that I would never tell my parents. I was terrified. "Would they reject me? Does this mean I am not a Christian? Or I'm the worst-broken Christian?"
I'm so thankful that rejection wasn't a part of what I encountered, but it was still rocky. Lots of tears shed on this one with my dad, Randy Hekman.
Also lots of cheese-related laughs. We play a game called "To Cheese or Not to Cheese." Come, laugh, cry, and goof around with us.
Highlights: "What is love? God gives you love for your kids. Tell me: which of your kids is perfect? Tell me: which of you, mom and dad, is perfect? We need grace. We need to extend grace." --Randy Hekman
"What does love actually mean? Love means you accept their heart and you care for them." --Randy Hekman
"Our biggest weapon as a parents is what? . . . Our prayers. And God loves our kids more than we do . . . so keep praying. Keep loving. That's what I say to moms and dads." --Randy Hekman
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/when-your-kid-comes-out/
Loneliness. We all experience it, but not many of us want to talk about it. Let’s start the conversation here (and connect it to the necessity of friendship) with blogger and our new friend, Bridget Eileen!
Also, we got new sound effects. Also we play “Explain a Film Plot Badly.” IT FUNNY.
Also listen to the end. Producer Steve likes to hide nuggets.
Highlights: “I really struggled with the question, ‘How could impossibly be saved if I still have this struggle?’ It was so important to me to realize God doesn’t just save me in the past, but he is saving me in my present.” --Bridget Eileen
“The celibate life is really not livable without friendship.” --Bridget Eileen
"I’ve seen what a struggle [friendship] is for myself. I have been able to forge close friendships . . . but there haven't been many. There have been a few precious people here and there that I have found . . . But not everybody does find close friends because our culture doesn’t have as much of an appreciation of friendship as something that is permanent and something that you prioritize." --Bridget Eileen
For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/at-the-intersection-of-friendship-and-loneliness/
When I (Laurie) was at a recent teaching event focused on leaning into LGBT+ conversation with grace and truth, I heard Daniel Mattson, author, speaker, and trombone player, share a story that made my jaw drop. As he taught, I found myself (for the first time) jealous of the way someone suffered.
He offers that story here.
We also play a ridiculous game where we all practice our acting skills (as West Michigan moms, hungry dinosaurs, and texting Millennials with focal fry), and Daniel and I lean into what labels we choose to identify (same-sex attracted? gay?) and why.
Welcome back, friends! We are so excited to walk this season with you.
Highlights: "God allows us to walk away from him and stumble and fall so we can learn to reach out our hands and have him pick us up again." --Daniel Mattson
"I was tempted to despair when I was younger. I thought, 'If I obey God, I'm going to be stuck in a nursing home alone and forgotten.' . . . [But] let's say I'm in a retirement home when I'm 80. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to be looking around at those other people who may have just lost their spouse and don't know what it means to have the single life and thrive. I am going to take them by the hand and say, 'You know? I've been doing this for a long time. Let's live out this life with joy.'" --Daniel Mattson
For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/jealous-of-your-suffering/
Remember when people used to write "HAGS" in your yearbook? That's this episode. Plus some more hearty stuff and a T-Rex costume.
We talk favorite Goofball Island and Heart of the Matter moments, how has this podcast impacted us from start to finish, and talk future goals for it (please come be our best friends, Chris Pratt and Terry Cruze).
Highlight:
“There were some days when Matt and I would come in and record, and we were in fuming states or silent states. This podcast was a place to laugh together and find where we agree--which is the gospel.” --Laurie Krieg
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/h-a-g-s-have-a-great-summer/
This is our last official full-length podcast for season one of the HIMH podcast! [Insert weeping]
We are going to us off into the July break talking about a favorite summer activity: camping.
But this episode covers much more than camp life. Our guest, Susan Titus, a shares practical experience of caring for LGBT+ campers as well as ways God has convicted her to love LGBT+ people. (Her methods include reaching out to people in gay bars and wearing rainbow bracelets). Per usual, we learn a lot about what it means to live missionally.
We also play a game called Camp or Tramp (is this a real camp experience or a faker?), and explore best and worst camp moments with our listener Question of the Week!
Highlight: "What really propelled me down the path was we had a staff member...who came out about a relationship. [It] compelled me to get some skin in the game and really start to study, learn, and understand." --Susan Titus
For More: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/getting-campy/
Friendship questions are some of the top inquiries we receive at HIMH.
Is it biblical to have a best friend? At what point does a friendship turn codependent? What can we do about it?
We cover it with codependency expert, Kelly Needham--someone who loves friendship so much she's writing a book about it. (And if you recognize that last name, it's because she is married to Christian worship artist, Jimmy Needham! A little fact we didn't know until 60 seconds before recording... Our bad.)
We also get real deep into Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast talk, as well as play a game called One Day where we answer who we would like to spend one day with (CCM artist (Kelly only has one right answer!), Food Network Star, Disney character, theologian...)
Highlights: "We are called to be dependent on someone, but it's not on each other--it's on Christ." --Kelly Needham
"Codependency ... is when our emotional sense of well-being becomes tied to another person." --Kelly Needham
"Over time their friendship became so enmeshed and unhealthy ... something that should have been really good (walking someone through pain and suffering) became its own version of sin and suffering." --Kelly Needham
Bonus: Check out the Kelly's Signs of Unhealthy Friendship here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-codependency-complication/
We have two incredible stories for you today:
One is of Kat LaPrairie, who identifies as transgender and experiences attractions toward women. Kat came out as gay after high school and had serial dating relationships with women for a decade. In those years, Kat woke up many nights "gasping for God."
The other story is of a mom, Kathi Bush. Kathi is a clinical therapist and mom to a son who wrestles with gender dysphoria. Kathi shares not only pieces of her journey with her son, but practical ways parents of children wrestling with gender dysphoria can journey alongside them well.
We also toss around our least favorite gender stereotypes, the Goo Goo Dolls (catch that opener? and the secret ending after the song at the very end?), and if we'd rather lose a year of our life or repeat the same day for 365 days. #itsgroundhogday
Highlights: "That tugging at my heart, I felt it through those ten years. It would wake me up out of a sleep--where I would almost be gasping." --Kat LaPrairie
"As parents we must be really self-aware to put ourself in a posture of love: I am going to put myself in your shoes and put myself in your space. This isn't about me." --Kathi Bush
For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/a-gender-conversation/
Friends: This is a story you 're not going to want to miss. Our guest, Rachel Gilson, wrote an article for Christianity today that was both award-winning and one of the most-read articles of 2017. When you hear her share her story of the gospel's good news for her here, you'll understand why.
The story includes girlfriends, binge drinking, and a stolen copy of Mere Christianity. Rachel also shares about the gospel's right-now good newsiness in her walk with ongoing temptation.
Because we are the HIMH podcast, we naturally discuss the past-tense version of the word, "cheat," the difference between a high-five and a fist-bump, and we play a game called Mascot or Villain (where you have to guess if the name is a sports mascot or super villain).
Highlights: "There wasn't a particular paragraph or a line of logic that got me [in Mere Christianity]. It was that while I was reading, I was suddenly aware not only did God exist, but that he was incredibly holy, and that holiness was a problem for me."
"I knew I couldn't pretend that the gospel wasn't real just because it was inconvenient for me. That would be the definition of stupidity."
"In other groups I had made friends by telling dirty jokes and drinking a lot. (I learned pretty quickly that that's not how you make friends with Evangelicals). [My Christian friends] were so incredibly gracious to me. They just loved me right in. I never felt weird or out of place. It was just full acceptance all at once."
"If you choose sin over relationship, it does not stay in your own private world, it always ripples out."
For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-thing-about-temptation/
Are we all leaders because of social media? How does social media play into the struggle with envy? When does pride get mixed up into that? (And what's the relationship to all of this and self-hatred?)
We explore it with pastor, author, and speaker Adam Barr. We also walk with tauntauns, wampas, (and therefore the relationship between Star Wars and Dr. Seuss), and Matt Krieg brings the Goofball Island game for the first time. Woot!
Highlights: "Prayer and pride are inversely proportional. If one side is high, the other side is low. If one side is low, the other side is high."
"Jesus says... 'The harvest is plentiful and the workers are few.' Then he says, 'Pray to the Lord of the harvest.' He doesn't say, 'Get up and go out there!' He says, 'Pray.' Prayer is what unleashes anything good God wants to do in his Kingdom."
"Beholding the glory of God is the antidote to thinking more or less of yourself."
For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/envy-pride-and-leadership/
Dr. Preston Sprinkle is in the house!
We are hitting the New York Times bestseller with all the hard questions: What is your Enneagram number? What's your Hogwarts house? Where did the phrase "kick the bucket" come from?
AFTER ALL OF DAT, we do talk a bit about God's design for gender, premarital sex (what does the Bible say?), and when to speak truth in love.
Highlight: "Our leadership has to be consistently promoting and embodying a counter-cultural way of doing community that is really shocking and life-giving to people... Our current church structures are largely resistant to that kind of deep, vibrant, vulnerable types of communities that the New Testament is longing for."
Question of the Week: When do you feel the most envious?
For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/gender-and-jesus/
We have a controversial guest on our podcast today: Rosaria Butterfield.
Some of you may not know why she might be controversial; some of you may write off this podcast forever as a result of our interview.
Give me us minute to explain why we intentionally invited her: The world is increasingly becoming post-Christian. We need other Christians. We need to link arms with other believers (even if we disagree with pieces of what they say) so that the gospel is preached.
If you give this one a chance, you may be surprised at how much you are challenged and how many times you find places of agreement.
We also talk about doilies, daydreaming about velociraptor attacks, auditioning for Disney, and we introduced Rosaria to a classic youth group game (Two Truths and a Lie) where kids effectively learn how to deceive each other. (Good job, us.)
Highlights: "Laurie, genuinely I don't think you and I could put a church together, but if we couldn't put a community together ... what good are we?"
"I learned my hospitality gifts in my LGBTQ community."
"When you take great risks to love people across differences, the Lord meets you more than halfway there."
"So many of the things that have created this post-Christian world would not have happened had the Body of Christ lived like the Body of Christ. The fact that we have relegated people to crushing loneliness is obscene."
Question of the Week: What is the next hospitality step you took this week? (Also, if you have any questions for Preston, hit us up! Lord willing, he will be on next week--for real this time.)
For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/the-gospel-comes-with-a-house-key/
Did you or do you feel lost in your 20s? Lonely?
Our guest, Drew Boa, asked (and still asks) in his 20s, "What is my purpose? Who are my people? Where do I belong?"
Let's dive into that 20-something lostness, and talk about feeling lost in general. Then, let's explore how we can get anchored.
Highlights: "[The gospel] is still good news for me today because even though I'm married, I have a daughter, and I'm living in beautiful Santa Barbara, I still feel lonely. I still feel the need for the good news that God is with me, and that I have brothers and sisters who can be my friends."
"The mentors in my life the are the only reason I have gone through sexual recovery... They are the only reason I was able to publish a book, and they are the only reason I am still involved in a local church (even though it doesn't really feel like home for me). But they gave me this vision that the church is the bride of Christ and she is really sick and she is really unfaithful, but he is committed to her. and so we are, too."
Question of the Week: What did the word "hospitality" mean to you growing up?"
For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/20-somethings-and-discipleship/
The hearty portion of this week's podcast is all about authenticity and intimacy: How can we be authentic without over-sharing? Can pastors/leaders be authentic? Should they be? How do emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy relate to marriage and friendship?
We are very heavy-handed with the goofball part of the show: In a fight between Eleven from Stranger Things and Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, who would win? Would you rather lose your texting ability or have to use dial-up internet forever? Would you rather have terrible dandruff, body odor, or flatulence?
You get it all here at the Hole in My Heart Podcast.
Highlights: "In your sharing, is it just in the hopes that someone will give you something? Is it in the hopes that this mass of people will say... 'Oh poor you!' Because then the sharing is entirely about you. [Instead] say, 'God, is this something that needs to be shared? Is this something that will help someone else?'" //Matt Krieg
"Cultivating a platform and a culture of authenticity is critical." //Laurie Krieg
Question of the Week: Have you ever felt lost as a 20-something? How so? What did you need or what do you feel like you need? Email us at podcast@himhministries.com or comment/message/hit us up wherever you can find us.
For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/how-we-heal-part-2/
Eh, boy. Here we go again! Getting vulnerable.
As a follow-up to the now infamous (and most listened-to) Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?, Matt and I [Laurie] give an update on our marriage's healing journey.
We get really real. We pray you are only blessed by it.
We also talk men's and women's ministries/conferences/retreats and the gifts and drawbacks of them, and I do a HILARIOUS round of Mom Jokes regarding cold weather. (I'm begging you to laugh.)
Highlight: "The problem for me was I knew when we got married ... it was not this erotic, hormone-driven sexual desire. That was not there in the beginning. So what I rested my laurels on (and maybe made an idol of), was this friendship with you [Matt]. 'Well, at least if we can have this friendship with you, that can lead to sexual intimacy...' Nope. Gone. And when that was taken away what was left was this patched together, barely-tolerant-of-each-other marriage ... and God." //Laurie Krieg
Question of the Week: What questions do you have for Dr. Preston Sprinkle? (He is next week's guest.) Sexuality, gender, non-violence, hell, or home church? What do you got? Comment, email, or hit us up somewhere and we might throw them at him!
For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/how-we-heal/
Who comes to your mind when you think about mentors or disciple-makers? Who comes to mind when you think about sexual discipleship? Anybody?
Whether or not we realize it, we are discipled by the world. We learn the significance of sex, its importance (or lack thereof), and how to approach it by the world. We need another way.
Our friend and co-laborer in the Kingdom, Dr. Juli Slattery, author, speaker, and podcaster walks us through a beautiful start of this conversation and some highlights in her fantastic new book, Rethinking Sexuality.
We are real, we are gospel-focused, but because we can't ever keep things too serious, we talk about ridiculous but important-to-us things: How the gateway drug to alcohol is Mountain Dew (you know we are right), clean mullets, singing the Circle of Life at the top of your lungs, Morning Ninja Steve, and what if everything you ate tasted like bananas? It's a fun game of "Would you Rather," and a deep talk with our friend Dr. Juli Slattery.
Highlight: "The [disciple-maker] grit doesn't come from this view of, 'I have so much to offer somebody else.' It comes from, 'I have encountered God in such a powerful way that I am just a leaky vessel that I want the Lord to pour through.'"
For More Visit: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/sexual-discipleship/
Friends: If you haven't ever listened to our podcast, start here! We have a special guest, Bill Henson, who is a spirit-filled well of wisdom. If you are a parent of an LGBT+ child, a Christian leader who wants to be more inclusive (while still holding to a historically Christian view), identify as LGBT+, or simply care about LGBT+ people, this one is for you.
In addition to talking about walking with LGBT+ friends and family, we also talk about the first time we learned we were missionaries, how we listen to music (in the car? at home? at church?), and about an upcoming joint-retreat HIMH is hosting with Bill and Lead Them Home.
Don't miss this one!
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast and http://www.leadthemhome.org.
It sends terror through all parents: How do we talk with the kids about sexuality?
Yikes. How do we?
We bring our first returning guest, Dr. Branson Parler, Professor of Theological Studies at Kuyper College, and Director of Faith Formation at Fourth Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, MI, to talk about it with us. In addition to his theological cred, he brings real-life walking with his five kids, ages 9, 7, 5, 3, and 1.
What we share here is important ground work, and (I hope) specific next steps.
We also talk about how to talk about Jesus with kids in general, and our favorite childhood snacks. (Oh yeah, there was that one time I thought I invented the quesadilla. Like, for real I thought that.) Also, we talk Kool Aid Man. Oh, yeah.
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
If women make up 1 out of every 3 visits to pornographic sites, if 17% of women consider themselves addicted to porn, and if half of women in a recent German sex study admit to watching porn, why don't we talk about it? Why are there so few resources?
We talk about it with Amy Riordan, author, speaker, and writer for Covenant Eyes. Additionally, we explore the questions: If we are a woman who wrestles with pornography or lust in general, how can we get the shame-free help we need? If we are a friend of a woman wrestling with lust, how can we come alongside our friends?
Favorite Quote: "To me, intimacy meant sex. I didn't realize there was a difference between the two. That started this whole thing with God showing me what I was really craving and wanting was intimacy--not sex.'"
Question of the Week: Have you ever said, “God, I will never do/go/say _____,” and then the next thing you know you’re doing ____?
Goofball Island: When have you pulled a prank, had one pulled on you, or even DAYDREAMED about pulling a prank on someone? How did it go?
Podcast Extra: 1. If we are struggling with lust, how can we get the help we need? 2. Live transparently with one or two people 3. Get time alone to recenter 4. Be transparent with God 5. Change your scenery 6. Reach out to your friends 7. Be kind to yourself
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
Youth leaders, this one is for you.
We talk with our guest and New York City youth pastor, Ray Low, about his journey with sexuality and how his youth pastor walked with him well.
We also talk a lot about what it is like to be a double minority as an Asian American and a sexual minority. This was an important conversation we were honored to have.
Favorite quotes: "[At church] I saw a different kind of community that had a different kind of purpose. That's when the gospel started to make sense to me: when I started to see a community that extended beyond Sunday."
"[My youth pastor] would treat people like people. He would treat people like he had this calling to form a faith identity in each and every one of us. That looked like giving us that space to wrestle."
Question of the Week: What people groups are you passionate about?
Goofball Island: What was your role in the elementary school playground? Podcast Extra: Here are the critical pieces Ray's youth pastor focused on to establish a faith identity in students: 1. Treated students as soon-to-be adults 2. Gave space to be messy and wrestle with big ideas 3. Bridged the gap between church world and home world 4. Gave leadership opportunities 5. Cast a vision to the parents of the necessity to establish a faith identity
Question of the Week for Next Week: When have you said, "I will never do ____!" And then God is like, "Um, yup. Exactly that."
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
We laughed a lot on this one.
We cracked up, and went to deep heart places with Nate Collins, special guest, author, and president and founder of the Revoice Conference.
We chatted about starstruck moments (who almost got taken down by Francis Chan's security team, hmmm, LAURIE?!), vulnerability, and giving the historically Christian LGBT+ conversation a new voice.
A favorite quote:
"The way the gospel is good news for me now," Nate said, "is by living transparently. When that requires vulnerability, then being vulnerable. I've experienced so much grace in being known. And shame in being not known. [I was] put in the shadows, or ran to the shadows myself because I was afraid of transparency or vulnerability."
Find out about the Revoice Conference here: http://revoice.us For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
So...shocker: Parenting is hard.
Also, life is hard.
Today, we follow up with the brutally honest "Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?" as well as discuss how we, as bleeding-heart parents, can be on mission (to make disciples) with our kids without hurting their hearts...
How do we do that?
Question of the Week: What is your biggest takeaway from this book?
Goofball Island: What was your favorite childhood TV show?
Helpful Links: Laurie's post: The Day I Became Wonder Woman https://lauriekrieg.com/the-day-i-became-wonder-woman/ Psychology Today: 10 Reasons Why Today's Teenagers Are So Anxious (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201711/10-reasons-why-todays-teenagers-are-so-anxious)
Question of the Week for Next Week: What are you looking forward to this summer?
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
We have another guest! Dr. Branson Parler!
To go with his movie star name and phD, Branson is FULL OF WISDOM! This was one of those conversations where Producer Steve, Matt, and I looked at each other while recording with our jaws dropped.
He answered a lot of questions we had about the relationship between sexuality, married people, single people, and the Church.
Quotable Highlights: "Paul can say, 'Stay single,' ...because the church is functioning as a family."
"Our bodies matter. Matter matters... The way God communicates his love to us is not just through this intellectual message that bounces off of us, the Word became flesh."
"Whether people are married or single, what everyone needs is a healing of our broken sexuality. It's not that marriage is this proper outlet for our lust. It is that lust needs to be killed across the board."
Question of the Week: What is the top character quality you look for in a friend?
Goofball Island: Who was your childhood pet, and what was its tragic life ending?
Vehicle to get to Goofball Island: The dog van from Dumb and Dumber.
Helpful Links: Branson's Blog: www.bransonparler.com A super helpful (and well-liked) catechism he wrote on sexuality: https://www.bransonparler.com/blog/great-lakes-catechism-on-marriage-and-sexuality Branson on The Center for Faith, Sexuality & Gender: http://www.centerforfaith.com/blog/what-our-weddings-say-about-marriage
Question of the Week for Next Week: What has this marriage series (walking through the 'You and Me Forever' book) taught you?
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
How can you be a helpful friend to someone in pain? How can you be a helpful person in pain to your friends? How does co-dependency relate to this? We talk about it on the podcast with a guest, Tammy Perlmattur!
Tammy Perlmutter is founder and curator of The Mudroom, a collaborative blog encouraging women to speak truth, love hard, and enter in with each other, and co-founder of Deeply Rooted, a biannual worship, arts, and teaching gathering for women in Chicago. Tammy is a member of Redbud Writers Guild, an urban beekeeper, and lives in an intentional Christian community in Chicago.
We also talk lent, awkward clothes we used to wear (victorian lace boots? mullets? chopsticks in your hair?), favorite foods growing up (a whole loaf of bread on the table?), and women/friendship and same-sex attraction. Question of the Week: Did you have a pet growing up? What happened to it?
Podcast Extra: Here is some of what we talked about concerning friendships in pain--listed.
What are signs of a good friend when you are in a tough place? What characteristics do they have?
-They are not just there to hear your secrets, but can bear your trauma. (It’s more than gossip, they want to walk alongside you.) -You can see them walk with other people well. Others trust them. -They know how to ask for help themselves. -They are not afraid of you—they say, “You’re not too much.” -They point you back to Jesus—not themselves. -They say hopeful, but not belittling phrases. (Not, “Jesus saves!” Life is not a Disney movie.) -They check in. -They make you feel like your pain is unique to you, but not like you are a freak. -They can say, “I don’t know how to help you, but let’s find someone who can.”
How do you not get co-dependent on these people?
-Accountability—tell people if you have a quick, deep emotional connection with someone. (If you are married, tell your spouse. “You can ask me at any time.”) -Purposely ensuring you maintain other friendships. -Hang out with other people in person—to get yourself out of your head.
How can we be helpful people who are in pain? How can we be good friends to our friends who journey with us?
-Reciprocate care—don’t only receive care. Pay attention to the other’s life. -Have fun together. Don’t let your friendship become only about the sorrow. -Don’t only have one person be “your person” who you talk to. We need the Body of Christ. Let others help. -Know the other person has limitations. It’s not rejection if they can’t be all that you want them to be. -Share details as opposed to vague generalities. Not: “It’s tough, but God is good!” But specifics as appropriate. -Invite questions. Receive them with grace and make it a safe place for the listener to speak. (As a listener, it can be scary to say the “wrong thing.”) -Say what you need. Friends are not mind readers.
Helpful Links: Tammy wrote about her journey with her sexuality here on her Mudroom Blog site. http://mudroomblog.com/same-sex-attraction-and-me/
You can also find her here:
The Mudroom: www.mudroomblog.com Deeply Rooted: www.deeplyrootedchicago.com Facebook: https://facebook.com/tammygrrrl Twitter: https://twitter.com/tammygrrrl
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
"Love... does not demand its own way" (1 Corinthians 13:5).
This... this one is gritty. And beautiful. And sounds like two people pursuing God and each other in the midst of pain. It sounds a lot like real life.
Today, on our nine-year anniversary, Matt and I open up about the last year-and-a-half of walking through the effects of trauma with a person.
May it only bless you.
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
We talk birthday, which childhood movie traumatized you, and what have you said to friends when they say they can't "feel" and/or hear God's voice?
Here's good ol' Francis laying it down per usual: “I hear people complain that they don’t feel Jesus with them, they don’t experience the Holy Spirit. I usually ask them: Are you busy making disciples? ... If I want to find my friend Andrew, I can usually find him at the gym. If I want to find Adam, he’s probably at the beach. If I want to find Lisa, she’s probably at Target. If I want to find Jesus, I should share the gospel with someone. That’s where He will be. He is on the battlefield. He is pursuing the mission" (Chan, 100).
How can we pursue it, too--no matter our marital status?
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
Matt, Producer Steve, and I (Laurie) have a guest! We asked last week for feedback on this marriage book and conversation from single people, and my friend Joie VanHolstein answered the call!
We chat about how we have seen Jesus romance us lately, and which game show (or reality show) we would unquestionably win (and which we would undoubtedly fail).
The Heart of the Matter focuses on fighting through humility, how people who have been affected by trauma can "die to self" without getting re-traumatized, and taking your hands off of your of your own throat as you are in process.
Podcast Extra: I quoted this: "If you want to build something significant for the Kingdom of God on earth, don't build a ministry, build a family." --Jeremy Riddle
Helpful Link: Read or listen to the book for free here: https://www.youandmeforever.org (Or just download the "You and Me Forever" app.) Question of the Week: What childhood movie traumatized you as a child?
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
Matt Krieg, Producer Steve and I (Laurie) chat about chapter two of Francis and Lisa Chan's book "You and Me Forever." Per usual, deep and silly conversations ensue including: What's up with drivers in California and in the Midwest? {and} What would our marriages look like IRL if the gospel was on display in them?
Podcast Extra: I refer to "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas, and this podcast about why God made us sexual by Dr. Juli Slattery at this link: https://www.authenticintimacy.com/resources/5110/160-why-god-created-you-to-be-sexual?source=blog
Helpful Link: Read or listen to the book for free at www.youandmeforever.org! (Or just download the "You and Me Forever" app.)
Question of the Week: What is one way you saw Jesus romance/pursue/show himself to you this week?
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
Do people in mixed-orientation marriages have a different Bible they live by? Do they have a different set of marital guidelines?
In a word: No.
We don't. It only seems that way because we--married and single--have been missing the point not only of married life but of LIFE.
Life isn't about us. Is isn't about our happiness. It isn't about communication. It isn't about more dates. It isn't about fulfilling our needs. Life is all about Jesus.
For the next seven weeks we will be walking through Francis and Lisa Chan's book, "You and Me Forever," to see how we have missed this.
We will get gritty and honest about real-life marital pain, but we hope to laugh and leave these weeks encouraged to build the Kingdom together: married, single, dating--however God has called us.
To read the ebook or listen to it along with us for free, visit youandmeforever.org and download the free app.
This week (per usual) we also talk randomness such as Instant-Pots and the scary-amazing show Stranger Things.
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
We go a bit off the rails with this one.
Matt, Steve, and I (Laurie) talk about our best Christmas presents ever, and then we devolve...yet again...into angst/joy about Trans-Siberian Orchestra.
If you've never listened to us, this is a great start to see if you like us.
Merry Christmas!
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
If you choose a life of vulnerability, you choose a life of continuously coming out--no matter your story, no matter your vulnerable places, no matter your struggle.
You are always coming out into authenticity.
Today, I (Laurie) share one of the first times I came out to a friend. And this is cool: This friend, Amber McClurg, is on the show! Hear Amber and I talk about that first (quite awkward) coming out experience, and what good came from it in spite of the awkwardness.
Additionally, Matt, Producer Steve, Amber and I chat about our words for 2018, things we don't like sharing, how to know if someone is safe to come out to, having a "healthy mistrust of yourself," heart-focused accountability, how we need more than one friend, and the risks of friendship.
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
Are you a leader? (Is everyone a leader?) Do you ever feel lonely as a leader? Why is that? What can we do about it?
We talk about loneliness on the podcast today as well as big changes that are happening at HIMH (no Matt??!), people who like the Trans-Siberian Orchestra (ew), and visit Gory Island as opposed to Goofball Island to brag about how we got our childhood scars. (Thanks for carrying me like a lamb in Jesus's arms, sixth-oldest sibling, Suzie!)
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
Let's talk temptation!
Often, temptation is viewed as the line before falling into sin. But is there another way to look at temptation that is not so laden in shame and fear?
Things we also discussed were Matt's silent retreat (where Laurie didn't respect his silent boundaries!), what do we hope for the new year, and best dates ever.
Helpful Bonus: “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death” (James 1:14-15).
In counseling, Matt uses what he calls, “The James Progression” based off of these verses to help clients self-diagnose what their heart needs in temptation.
Core Needs ----- > Desires ----- > Temptation ----- > Sin ----- > Death
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
Matthew Krieg is gone this week but Matthew Tuininga is here as a special guest! He is a professor of moral theology at Calvin Seminary, and is a courageous, authentic, intelligent thinker. We talk extremes we see both politically and in the Church. We share where it concerns us and the good that can come in the midst of it. We also talk about how we want to be more Christ-like at Christmas, and gender stereotypes we follow and don't at all.
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
Happy Thanksgiving to you all in the U.S! We are so thankful for YOU, our listeners! We wish we could spend time hearing what all of you are thankful for around a giant thanksgiving table. Perhaps that's our longing for heaven talking...
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Sometimes, Millennials can look at the Christians before them and judge those who have believed a gospel of, "If I pursue God, I will have a lot of money and never get sick."
However, Millennials can have their own version of a "health and wealth gospel" in the way we believe, "If I pursue God, I will be happy." But is this true?
With SPECIAL GUEST Greg Coles (author of 'Single Gay Christian') we talk about this question as well as our favorite parts of the Caring Well Conference and Christmas traditions.
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
How can we as the Church look more like the Church? It starts with looking at what we have misperceived to be the ultimate connector for too long: sex. We need to confess our idolatry of sex, and lean into relationships in a new way. The crew also discussed worst dates and Christmas favorites. (Hallmark movies? Yay? Nay?)
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
How can we cultivate intimacy in marriage when we're in a tough season? But wait! This track is not just for married folk. People who are in relationships of any nature will benefit from practical ways to lean into relationships when they are not easy.
Also discussed are things to bring on a desert island (hint: bag o' books) and swallowing the first five sentences you want to say when someone triggers you.
[Please note we talk about sticking with marriage no matter what, but know if you are in an abusive relationship, we are not encouraging staying. Please read this article "Enough is Enough" with Gary Thomas for more: http://www.garythomas.com/enough-enough/ ]
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
Laurie's "Spiritual Dumbledore" is in the house! Often when Laurie speaks she talks about her mentor/counselor, Carolyn Schroeder. Carolyn was instrumental in Laurie's decision to follow Christ no matter what. Matt, Laurie, Producer Steve, and Carolyn talk Heart to Heart Prayer, how to find your own spiritual Dumbledore (AKA...a good counselor or mentor), and discuss what they wish they hadn't quit from childhood.
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
How do we forgive each other in a way that's less gritting our teeth when the offender is around, and more genuinely loving the offender? Matt and Laurie pick up the story when Laurie had a hard time forgiving Matt after he came forward with secret porn use. Also heard this week is a story about when Laurie wasn't served her favorite ice cream treat because it had too many calories. (Oh, California!)
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
Episode 10, y'all! To celebrate the team did a Dad Joke Competition! (Watch it on YouTube to see their expressions here: https://youtu.be/AYmaGReukJM). Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve also talk fasting fails, the angst about how no one can ever be happy or sad enough with you, "what is lament?" and Laurie's specific lament after Matt came forward with his pornography addiction.
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
Pastor Marvin Williams of Trinity Church in East Lansing, MI joins Matt and Laurie on location (or off location?) at Our Daily Bread studios. (Thanks, ODB!) Things discussed are The Daily Examen, favorite and least favorite chores, true self/false self, and when the Holy Spirit convicts you to go back and apologize for something no one knows you did wrong. Thanks for your authenticity and courage as always, Pastor Marvin.
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
Oh, Pastor David Beelen. Wisdom exudes from you. Matt, Laurie, and Producer Steve sat down to chat with Senior Pastor David Beelen of Madison Square Church in Grand Rapids, MI (and the chairman of the board of HIMH), to hear how Pillar People in his life push him onto more Christlikeness. The crew also discussed how much Dave sounds like Harrison Ford, and who they each would choose to play themselves in a movie.
Welcome back! Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve discuss whether or not we can hate people with a holy hate. They also chatted about what the crew might want to do if they weren't in the job they were in, Dwight K. Schrute, dungarees, Mutual of Omaha (listen to the whole podcast for a secret track!), and how we can love everyone from Neo-Nazis to each other in the room.
This Week's Question of the Week: Who are your Pillar People? Who are people who are critically necessary to helping you develop a gospel-centered identity?
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
I Have you ever felt "other"? Have you ever "othered" someone else? I
After Laurie, Matt, and Steve recorded this podcast and the next one, the three of them stared at one another saying, "Wow." They have never had so much fun and felt such a Holy Spirit movement while talking on a microphone.
The focus of this episode is feeling "other" (ie. when you feel like you don't belong). The group will not simply throw logs on a fire of Church-angsting; they will turn the the conversation back around to how they "other" others. They also talk about clown music (Goofball Island got a soundbite!), Cincinnati-style chili (ie. dog food, according to Laurie), and how it sounds when two therapists golf together.
I Do the Next Thing: I
Follow Laurie on Instagram to see what we're up to next! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
I Who is Producer Steve? I
When Producer Steve agreed to be a part of the HIMH podcast, he thought he would simply push buttons and do a little editing. Oh, no. Not when you're hanging out with Matt and Laurie. You got to talk deep. And they are grateful for it.
In this episode, Steve shares his story of finding God as he wrestled through addiction, pain, and the hole in his heart. (Also: The crew talks about personal idiosyncrasies such as including mispronouncing words, never touching metal, and Wicked Witch of the Westing their shoes.)
I Do the Next Thing I
Follow Laurie on Instagram to see what we're up to next! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
I What is that hole in my heart? I
Ever wonder why we act out in certain behaviors? This week, Matt explains the concept of Core Needs--along with how we can use them to identify places in our hearts we need to invite God into! Join us as we listen and learn!
I Do the Next Thing: I
Learn more about the Core Needs Model here. https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/matt-and-lauries-stories-rebooted-and-your-premarital-questions/
Follow Laurie on Instagram to see what we're up to next! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
I What's the Story, Laurie? I
Today, we hear Laurie's story...thus far. (Aren't we all in process?) Matt, Laurie, and Producer Steve also discuss every day moments when we know we are loved, where we would like to apparate (or use Floo powder), and letting yourself be messy I Do the Next Thing: I
Follow Laurie on Instagram to see what we're up to now! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
I Welcome to the very first Hole in My Heart Podcast! I
Join Matt, Laurie, and Producer Steve as they introduce and get to know each other with a variety of questions on all levels--from personality types to high school jams to the cultivation of deep joy in everyday life. In this living-room-style hangout time with the founders of HIMH, we begin all over again the conversation about how the gospel is good news to everyone, everyday.
I Do the Next Thing: I
Follow Laurie on Instagram for updates on what we're doing next! https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast
Welcome back! In this podcast we talk Star Wars books, what does it mean to be "deep," escapism, and hear Matt's story...thus far.
For More Visit: http://www.lauriekrieg.com/podcast