The Leader's Journey Podcast: Recent Episodes
Jim Herrington & Trisha Taylor
In each episode, we are going to work to give you one easy to understand concept and tell you at least one story that illustrates the concept being put into practice. The concept will be easy to understand, but it will require your very best self and a good deal of practice over time if you are going to implement it.
In this episode of The Leader's Journey Podcast, Trisha Taylor sits down with Mandy Smith, a gifted pastor, artist, and author of Confessions of an Amateur Saint. Together, they discuss the deep challenges Christian leaders face, the journey of faithfulness over success, and the importance of embracing weakness as a pathway to strength. Mandy shares her insights on how leaders, particularly in faith communities, often find themselves caught between the desire for competence and the necessity of surrendering to God’s guidance. Through personal stories and deep reflection, this episode invites leaders to embrace vulnerability and trust God with their limitations.
Mandy Smith is the pastor of St. Lucia Uniting Church in Australia and the author of Confessions of an Amateur Saint. With a unique blend of pastoral leadership, artistic expression, and deep theological insight, Mandy serves as a voice of compassion and clarity for leaders seeking to integrate faith with everyday life. She is also associated with the Eugene Peterson Center for Christian Imagination. Mandy’s creative and thoughtful approach to ministry continues to inspire leaders to lead with authenticity and dependence on God.
Key Points:
- The Role of Faithful Leadership: Mandy reflects on the tension between striving for professional competence and the call to lead with faith and reliance on God.
- Faith Over Competence: Leadership isn't about having all the answers; it's about modeling the need for God. Mandy talks about how, as leaders, we are called to admit our limitations and trust God’s power to work through us.
- The Confession of Leadership: The act of confession is integral to faithful leadership. It involves not only acknowledging our weaknesses but also reaffirming our trust in God despite those weaknesses.
- The Struggle with Human Limitation: Mandy shares her experience of being thrust into leadership roles that challenged her competencies, and how leaning into vulnerability rather than striving for control has been both humbling and healing.
- The Invitation to Lead Authentically: By embracing human limitations, leaders can create space for God’s strength to shine. Mandy challenges leaders to stop hiding their weaknesses and to model dependence on God for the benefit of those they lead.
Resources:
The Vulnerable Pastor: How Human Limitations Empower Our Ministry
Unfettered: Imagining a Childlike Faith Beyond the Baggage of Western Culture
Confessions of an Amateur Saint: The Christian Leader's Journey from Self-sufficiency to Relying on God
Mandy's website: The Way is the Way
The Eugene Peterson Center for Christian Imagination
In this episode, Jim and Rick Rarick dive into the essential role of values in organizational culture and the importance of leadership integrity. They discuss the concept of the Employee Value Proposition (EVP) and how it can shape a meaningful workplace experience. By acknowledging imperfections and fostering a supportive environment, leaders can build stronger connections with their teams and enhance employee loyalty.
Rick Rarick is an experienced organizational coach with a background in both for-profit and nonprofit sectors. He specializes in helping leaders understand and improve workplace culture, emphasizing the importance of authenticity, accountability, and meaningful engagement. With a passion for guiding organizations toward healthier dynamics, Rick brings a wealth of knowledge to discussions about employee experience and leadership development.
Key Points:
- The significance of living organizational values with integrity.
- Acknowledging and addressing integrity gaps as a means of fostering loyalty.
- The Employee Value Proposition (EVP) defined as a statement of what employees receive from their organization.
- Importance of meaningful work and connection between individual roles and company goals.
- The role of friendships and relationships in employee retention.
- Growth opportunities and the ability to learn from mistakes as key components of employee satisfaction.
- The shift from traditional work-life balance to a more flexible work-life rhythm.
- The impact of generational attitudes on work expectations and the importance of creating a human-centered workplace culture.
References:
- Harvard Business Review: Employee Value Proposition
- Rick Rarick - The Leaders Journey Coach
In this episode, the Jim and Trisha host guests Chris and Kurt from Brimstone coaching to engage in a deep conversation about leadership, self-awareness, and the mental models that shape our approach to work and relationships. They explore the importance of slowing down, reflecting, and questioning existing assumptions about what it means to be an effective leader. This episode wraps up with a powerful reminder: “You don’t have to be as tired as you are.”
Chris Godfredson and Kurt Bash have both come out of leadership and supervisory roles in a variety of business kind of contexts and then transitioned into church ministry where they have each led in a variety of contexts. They are the co-founders of Brimstone Coaching Group.
Kurt Bush began his working career in the manufacturing world. He spent time working for a large manufacturing company in various roles over 10 years, with the majority of that time being spent in Human Resources and Production Supervision. He was then called out of that into seminary, and subsequently, full-time vocational ministry. Over the last 6 years, he has served and led churches in and through both minor and major changes, along with helping leaders establish a clear sense of “who we are together.” It’s his work in his own life that fuels the passion that he feels in helping others do their own work.
Chris Godfredsen made the transition a number of years ago from printing the news to telling the Good News. He has a growing understanding of Family Systems theory and Internal Family Systems, and he uses tools and resources that help people stop doing things that have hampered their growth for so long so they can live whole lives. These tools have also been helpful in conflict resolution work with co-workers and leadership teams.
Conversation Overview
- Seeing to Change
- Mental Models of Leadership
- The Courage to Let Go
- Redefining Strong Leadership
- Testing Assumptions
- Invitation to Reflect
Resources * Brimstone Coaching Group * An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey (the idea of doing two jobs is in the introduction and first chapter) * Wholeheartedness: Busyness, Exhaustion and Healing the Divided Self by Chuck DeGroat * Western Theological Seminary * Brimstone Coaching podcast
In this thought-provoking episode, we dive deep into the themes of connection, vulnerability, and healing with Chuck DeGroat. Drawing from his rich experience as a therapist and author, Chuck offers insights into how we can move away from shame-based narratives and toward a more empowering understanding of ourselves and our relationship with the divine. Join us as we explore the importance of community in healing, the reframing of addiction, and the transformative power of imagination in our spiritual journeys.
Chuck DeGroat is a seasoned therapist, author, and professor known for his work in clinical mental health counseling and his insights into personal and spiritual growth. With a background in pastoral ministry and a deep understanding of human psychology, Chuck offers a unique perspective on healing, connection, and the inner journey. His latest book, Healing What's Within: Coming Home to Yourself and to God When You're Wounded, Weary, and Wandering, provides a roadmap for those seeking to reclaim their worth and reconnect with their true selves.
Key Points
The Importance of Connection: Exploring the impact of disconnection on our lives and the necessity of vulnerability in healing.
Reframing Suffering: Understanding suffering as a universal human experience rather than a personal failure.
Imagination in Healing: Utilizing creative visualization to foster a sense of safety and connection with God.
Redemptive Remembering: The practice of recalling moments of grace to counteract negative internal narratives.
Rethinking Addiction: Viewing addiction as a response to deeper needs rather than a behavior to condemn, and fostering curiosity about our motivations.
In a world where every conversation or statement can spark intense debates, how do you maintain your composure and stay true to your values? Join Trisha, Nate, and Mac as they dive into a conversation about managing both online and in person engagement with empathy, leading through political tensions, and making a meaningful impact on a local level.
Mac McCarthy has been in Christian ministry for over 15 years. As a pastor, practitioner, and coach, he is passionate about equipping leaders by integrating missional theology, spiritual formation, family systems, and adaptive leadership to navigate congregational change.
Nate Pyle is a pastor, author, and coach. He has over 25 years in Christian ministry, and during that time Nate began learning and practicing skills related to adaptive leadership, congregational revitalization, family systems, emotional maturity, and spiritual formation.
Key Points
- Engaging on Social Media
- Dialogue over Provocation
- Outrage vs. Conviction
- Maintaining Perspective and Empathy
- Recognizing Limitations
- Managing Anxiety and Maintaining Emotional Maturity
References
The Colossian Forum
Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now by Jaron Lanier
Note: This podcast is part one of a three-part series on trauma-informed leadership. You can find it in the podcast archives of our website on dates January 23, Feb 13 and Feb 27 of 2019.
Trauma is real and leaders who understand the effects of trauma in their own lives and in the lives of others are less likely to be sabotaged by trauma and are more likely to lead in ways that turn out to be healthy and lifegiving.
Conversation overview:
Trauma and leadership
Trauma can hinder and stimulate growth
Unaddressed trauma in leaders is dangerous
How do we access trauma?
Experiencing other people's trauma
Leaders may be survivors of trauma; leaders are also leading survivors of trauma
The past is always present
Resources:
The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog
The Body Keeps the Score
Healing Developmental Trauma
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Change happens at the speed of conversation.
This episode is about learning to master transformation conversations from our six-part series on leadership practices that lead to breakthrough. If you’d like to learn more about this series or our organizational coaching and leadership development services you can contact us using our website, https://theleadersjourney.us/contact
Conversation Overview * God created with God’s words. * What do our words enroll people in? * Enrolling people in hope * The 3 parts of a transformation conversation * How are you going to practice?
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We know that our lives and our leadership flourish when we practice showing up in emotionally mature ways but we don’t always know what that looks like practically. After thinking together about emotional maturity for more than 20 years, we believe that it looks like practicing being both defined and connected as a way of life.
In this podcast, we talk about defining ourselves, letting others define themselves, staying appropriately connected . . . and then we look at the “and” that holds them all together. It’s a little bit like patting your head and rubbing your tummy–trying to do both things at once is a challenge! We think it’s worth it, though. We hope you’ll join us to look at how the concept of being defined and connected shows up in your life and how you can use it as a framework to think through some of your stickiest problems.
Conversation overview: * Defining ourselves by clearly and courageously saying what is so for us * Allowing (and even inviting) others to define themselves * Staying appropriately connected and honoring our relationships with others even if they see things differently * Connecting by listening rather than convincing * Disagreeing without dehumanizing each other * Looking at your patterns: Do you give up defining yourself in order to preserve the connection? Do you define yourself but let go of the connection? * Examples of practice * A visual representation
Resources: HowdidJesusdealwithConflict?
Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown
In the latest episode of The Leader's Journey Podcast, explore the nuances of navigating misuse and abuse of authority with Jim and Trisha. In a candid discussion, they delve into crucial topics: from recognizing various forms of abuse to implementing proactive measures for prevention. With clarity and empathy, they outline practical steps and resources every leader should consider to create safer environments. Whether you're new to these discussions or well-versed, their approachable style and wealth of experience make this episode a must-listen. Join Jim and Trisha as they equip listeners with tools to foster healthier, more informed organizational cultures.
Conversation Overview
- Overview of previous episodes
- Reporting Abuse
- What are you pretending not to know?
- Risks of and Responses to Confrontation
- Taking a Victim Centric Approach
- Awareness of Triggers
- Communication is Key
- Recognizing Culpability
- Doing Your Part
Podcast Series
Power Dynamics
Power Dynamics for Trustworthy and Transformative Leaders
Power Dynamics and Conflict
The Balance of Power: How Leaders Balance Authority and Vulnerability Creating Space for Flourishing.
Trauma Informed
An Introduction to Trauma for Leaders Part 1
An Introduction to Trauma for Leaders Part 2
An Introduction to Trauma for Leaders Part 3
Links and Resources
Matt Tebbe: Some Common Tactics Used to Avoid Justice
Church Cares Website
Net Grace Website - While we don't recommend particular groups for consulting because each group has its own unique approach and we recommend each individual do their research to determind what is best for them,we absolutely recommend the resources on the GRACE page.
A Church Called Tov
Bully Pulpit
When Narcissism Comes to Church
Join Jim and Trisha as they discuss how assigned authority affects our lives with their guest Ryan Donovan. Take the time to listen to the hard questions being asked about how the role of authority in today's world has shifted and changed. Ryan Donovan is a licensed counselor who lives in Austin, Texas who loves the outdoors. He plays fastpitch softball in his free time, and his life experience has equipped him in some really important ways to join in this conversation. Ryan is also involved in coaching with The Leader's Journey. Conversation Overview: * Recognizing Blind Spots * Assigned Authority * The Paradigm Shift * Connection vs. Commitment * Asking the Right Questions * The Effects of a Double Bind * Stewardship of Authority
Church Cares and the book "Becoming a Church That Cares Well for the Abused" GRACE - Godly Response to Abuse in a Christian Environment A Church Called Tov When Narcissism Comes to Church Bully Pulpit Matt Tebbe's substack
Authority is inherent in leadership roles, and that inherent authority can be misused and abused. In part one of this series, Jim and Trisha discuss the reality of abuse, the questions surrounding it, and the way leaders are called to respond.
Conversation Overview
- None of This is New
- Authority is Inherent in Leadership
- What is Authority and Where Does it Come From?
- The Legitimate Uses of Authority
- A Focus on Spiritual Abuse
- The Impact Outweighs the Intention
- Responding to the Critical Mirror
- Conflict and Disagreement vs. Abuse
- Taking a Victim Centric Approach
Get Coaching
Find Us on Facebook
Podcasts:
Power Dynamics for Trustworthy and Transformative Leaders
Power Dynamics and Conflict: A conversation for trustworthy and transformative leaders
Books:
The End of Leadership by Barbara Kellerman
Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church
When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse
In this episode, dive into the fascinating world of artificial intelligence (AI) and its impact on various aspects of life, including leadership, sermon writing, and more. Join us as we explore the innovative ways in which AI is being integrated into everyday tasks and decision-making processes.
For this special podcast, Jim and Trisha hear some insightful points from multiple guests on how they use AI and how they have seen it impact the world around them.
Podcasts guests include
Scott Hescht is enthusiastic advocate for AI integration into various fields, Scott brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to the discussion. Scott offers unique insights into the practical applications of AI in different contexts, including in his ministry as the pastor at The Haven Community Church in Spring, TX.
Rich Braaksma: is the Regional Mission Leader for Resonate Global Mission in Western Canada and part-time pastor of Rhodes Church in Calgary, Alberta.
Leani du Toit: Trauma-informed spiritual, cross-cultural, and leadership coach with a diverse range of experiences.
Nathan Harrington: Founder of Nathan Harrington Coaching, delving into AI applications in coaching and content creation.
Tim Rotman: Pastor at Zumbro Lutheran Church in Rochester, Minnesota, sharing his experiences with using AI in sermon writing.
Conversation Overview:
- AI in Research and Ministry
- Beyond the Information
- Being Curious and Cautious
- Using AI in Content Creation
- Making Connections with Large Language Models
Resources
Ezra Klein and Ethan Mollick: How Should I Be Using AI Right Now?
AI Will Shape Your Soul
The Haven Community Church
Resonate Global Mission
Nathan Harrington Coaching
Zumbo Lutheran Church
Jim talks with Mike Whang about how his shift away from the traditional church model opened up avenues of ministry that can be limited for those in Christian leadership. Mike explains how working out the equations of ministry, the balancing of values, the realities of day to day life, and the needs of the Church, has been a challenge and a blessing as he grows in his walk with God and leadership position.
Mike Whang is an ordained elder of the United Methodist Church. He serves Oikon and Wesley as an extension minister of the Texas Annual Conference. He received his M. Div from Duke Divinity School. His favorite foods are rice, kimchi, and eggs. Raised in Los Angeles, he and his wife, Lisa are raising native Texan daughters of Korean descent.
Conversation Overview
- A Shift in Approach
- Pivoting From a Local Church to a Ministry Organization
- Gaining Margin by Stepping away from Sunday Centric Model
- Integrating Faith with Life
- The Upsides and Downsides of Change
- Personal Responsibility as a Follower of Christ
- Limitations of Traditional Structures
- Different Paths for Spiritual Journeys
Resources
https://www.oikonandwesley.org/
Nomads in the Church: The Leader's Journey Podcast with Terry Walling
On this episode of The Leader’s Journey Podcast, Trisha talks with Mac McCarthy and Nate Pyle about how the election year has affected their congregations and the ways they are navigating that social landscape within their churches. Listen to this first of several podcasts in 2024 as they discuss the unique ways they have each worked with the leadership in their churches in order to guide their congregations to focus on building bridges and communicating with grace.
Nate Pyle is a pastor, author, and coach. As a pastor, Nate has served as the pastor of Christ’s Community Church in Fishers, Indiana since 2008. During that time, Nate began learning and practicing skills related to adaptive leadership, congregational revitalization, family systems, emotional maturity, and spiritual formation. He has a passion to see the church become a learning community growing its capacity to navigate difference, hard conversations, and congregational change.
Mac McCarthy has been in Christian ministry for over 15 years. As a pastor, practitioner, and coach, he is passionate about equipping leaders by integrating missional theology, spiritual formation, family systems, and adaptive leadership to navigate congregational change. Having served in a variety of roles, Mac is currently the Lead Pastor at Crosspoint Community Church in the western suburbs of Milwaukee where has been since 2008. He received his B.A. from Bethel University, his M.Div from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, and is ordained with the Christian & Missionary Alliance. Mac is also a CrossFit coach and enjoys helping people pursue holistic health.
Conversation Overview
- Political conversation in a Systems Context
- Getting Your Hands Dirty
- Political vs. Partisan
- Being a Minister of Reconciliation
- Conflating Religious Doctrine and Political Politics
- Anxiety and Emotional Maturity
- Capacity Building and Discipleship
- It Doesn't Always Work
- Core Conviction and Guiding Principles
Resources:
Nate Pyle on The Leader's Journey
4 Americas: The Stories and the Gospel - Nate Pyle SermonsMac McCarthy on The Leader's Journey
Luke Bretherton on Democracy and Christianity
Crosspoint Community Church
Christ Community Church
Trisha and Jim continue their insightful discussion on boundaries in this week's podcast. Join them as they discuss your questions about boundaries and the benefits and struggles of implementing them in personal and professional leadership roles.
Conversation Overview
- Flourishing Within Boundaries
- Boundaries and Emotional Maturity
- Working Within a Broken System
- The Cost of Boundaries
- Managing Guilt
- Christ's Example of Boundaries
- Staying On Your Side of the Line and Allowing God to Work
- Communication is Key
- Creating a Culture of Healthy Boundaries
- The Value of Pain
Join Trisha and Jim as they discuss the importance of respecting boundaries not just for the benefit of ourselves, but for the benefit of those around us. Together they discuss the complexities of setting and keeping boundaries while maintianing healthy relationships.
"Boundaries are not something we put on others, boundaries are something that we maintain for ourselves. " -Trisha Taylor
Conversation Overview
- Reconciling healthy boundaries with Jesus' message.
- Articulating Our Limits
- What Boundaries Are - and What They Aren't
- Playing Tennis with Emotional Boundaries
- Myths About Boundaries
- Boundaries in Leadership
- Saying and Hearing "No"
Resources
Cleaning Up a Mess with Ryan and Marijke
Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Join Jim and Trisha as they discuss how we as the church can embrace the paradigm shift to a new structure in a church without walls. Their insightful conversation with this week’s guest, Terry Walling, offers a unique perspective on how nomadic believers are truly helping grow the church as they act as disciples within the community.
Terry Walling is a pastor, professor, and author of Unlikely Nomads: In Search of the New Church. He has also launched a podcast series in which he has conversations with a variety of people who are in search of a deeper journey with Jesus and with following Him in a different kind of church in America.
Key Takeaways:
-Moving in an Old, New Direction -The Nomadic Believer -Personal Renewal that Leads to Corporate Change -Apprenticing the life of Jesus -Embracing the Mystery
Resources:
http://leaderbreakthru.com/
Unlikely Nomads by Terry Walling
Canoeing the Mountains by Todd Bolsinger
A Non-Anxious Presence by Mark Sayers
The Great Emergence
Join Jim and Trisha as they discuss the concept of being vulnerable as a leader with author and keynote speaker, Jacob Morgan. Listen as they explore how the skill of balancing vulnerability and competency can empower leaders in both personal and professional settings.
Jacob Morgan is a remarkable and successful leader,keynote speaker, trained futurist, and author. His most recent book, Leading With Vulnerability, was published last year. Jacob pulls from his personal and professional experience as well as the results of many leadership polls and studies as he speaks to tens of thousands of leaders each year on how to fine tune their leadership skills.
Conversation Overview
- Personal vs. Professional Vulnerability
- Balancing Competence and Connection
- The Specifics of Vulnerability
- Naming Your Emotions
- The Right Place and Time to be Vulnerable
- When Vulnerability Hurts
Resources
The Future Organization
Jacob's Substack
Leading With Vulnerability and Other Books by Jacob Morgan
Join Jim and Trisha as they speak with pastors Ted and Jess from Evanston Vineyard Church about intentional change. Discover how their approach to transformation involves coaching, diverse perspectives, and the formation of clear, shared values.
Ted Kim, who has been pastoring and ministering in churches for more than 20 years in Washington, California, New York, and areas outside of the US, is the lead pastor at Evanston Vineyard Church. He is passionate about leading people's hearts and minds toward Jesus. Jess, once an intern, is now also a pastor at Evanston Vineyard Church. She has been a big part of the intentional change and value focusing at the church.
Conversation Overview
- Forming Congregational Values: Ted and Jess share their experience in leading a congregation through the process of forming and embracing core values.
- Navigating Resistance: The leaders discuss the positive aspects of encountering resistance during the values formation process and how it contributes to a culture of authenticity.
- Cultivating Team Culture: The importance of team culture values and ongoing learning in maintaining alignment with the overarching church values.
- Practical Implementation: Simple yet impactful practices, including regular readings of values during meetings, emphasizing the role of coaching in decision-making, and fostering a sense of agency among team members.
- Real Change in Action: The messy and non-linear nature of change, showcasing the genuine transformation that can occur in a congregation through intentional and collaborative efforts.
Resourses
Evanston Vineyard Church
Being stuck in problems and situations can be a significant hindrance to your ability to effectively lead and inspire those around you. Rather than move forward, you may find yourself focused on problems that prevent you from reaching your goals. Learn to resolve those situations so that they become a source of growth. Listen in this latest podcast as Trisha, Jim, and multiple other members of The Leader's Journey share their solutions to getting unstuck. Start your new year off with resolving to not allow the muddy moments in life to dictate the way you lead
Getting Unstuck
- Distinguish between technical and adaptive problems.
- Talk with trusted individuals to process the ways you are stuck and find a solution.
- Shift the mood.
- Practice breathing in the silence to embrace and examine your emotional responses.
- Reject feelings of shame.
- Create space to pray and listen.
Resources
Internal Family Systems
The Discernment of Spirits by Timothy Gallagher
adership, shedding light on helpful practices that can guide church leaders through the shift from an attractional growth model to a missional one. Joining them on this insightful exploration is the experienced and dynamic Mac McCarthy, Lead Pastor at Crosspoint Community Church in Milwaukee.
Pastor Mac McCarthy is a seasoned leader with over 15 years in ministry. Currently serving as the Lead Pastor at Crosspoint Community Church, Mac brings a wealth of experience and a unique journey, having transitioned into the lead pastor role as the church evolved. Ordained in the Christian and Missionary Alliance denomination, Mac holds degrees from Bethel University and Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. Beyond his pastoral role and contributions of expertise as part of the coaching team for The Leader's Journey, he's a CrossFit coach and a passionate advocate for holistic health.
Key Takeaways:
- Unveiling the missional perspective
- Diving into the importance of cultivating new mental models and practices in alignment with God's mission.
- Joining God on Mission: Listen, Discern, Experiment, and Review.
- Adaptive leadership in a changing cultural landscape.
Resources:
Crosspoint Community Church
Leading Faithful Innovation: Following God into a Hopeful Future by Dwight Zscheile, Michael Binder, and Tessa Pinkstaff
What if leadership is mostly about paying attention? In this episode, Trisha and Jim engage in a thought-provoking conversation with their guest, Ann Kansfield. Ann delves into her personal experiences with leadership and how important a role focus and attentiveness plays. A primary task of leadership is to direct attention for ourselves and those we lead. At the same time, in today's world, paying attention is hard and sustaining attention in the face of distractions and anxiety is even harder. Listen as they discuss the simple but complex leadership principle in this conversation: We lead when we are able to focus our attention on what really matters and then help others to do the same in pursuit of a mission or task.
Ann Kansfield, along with her wife Jennifer, serves as a pastor at Greenpoint Reform Church in Brooklyn, New York, and as a staff chaplain for the FDNY. Ann's journey, which you can read about in her book "Be the Brave One", inspires others to embrace their authentic selves and harness their innate potential.
Key Takeaways:
- Understand the crucial role of attention in effective leadership.
- Recognize the importance of reflection and self awareness in managing attention.
- Explore the significance of building effective teams and fostering trust.
- Emphasize the value of routine in enhancing focus and productivity.
Links and Resources:
Be the Brave One by Ann Kansfield
Follow Ann Kansfield on Facebook
Greenpoint Reformed Church
Join host Jim Herrington and Dr. Michael DeRuyter in an enlightening discussion as they uncover the delicate interplay between individuality and togetherness forces within leadership environments. Dr. DeRuyter is a distinguished expert in Bowen Family Systems Theory and leadership development, offers profound insights and practical strategies to help leaders and organizations understand the intricacies of group dynamics. Explore the impacts of these forces on decision-making, team dynamics, and organizational relationships, providing invaluable guidance for leaders in complex settings.
With practical strategies for managing heightened togetherness and fostering open communication, leaders are empowered to cultivate an environment of trust and collaboration, propelling their teams toward collective success. Join us in unlocking the transformative potential of understanding and harnessing these vital forces, igniting a passion for resilient leadership and cohesive team synergy in any organizational setting.
Key Takeaways:
- Embrace the Complex Dynamics of Individuality and Togetherness
- Heightened Anxiety and Togetherness
- Strive for Balance
- Implement Effective Strategies
Resources Mentioned:
- The Leader's Journey Website
- The Bowen Family Systems Theory
In this episode, Jim and Trisha talk with Chris Field, founder of Mercy Project, author, and speaker. They dive into the significance of systems thinking for leaders, emphasizing how it can address complex problems and instill hope within their organizations. Through his own journey, Chris highlights the value of long-term commitment, warns against the allure of quick fixes, and champions the enduring power of persistence.
Chris's story underscores the importance of understanding the intricacies of a problem before attempting to solve it. By identifying the root cause and working towards a sustainable solution, real and lasting change can be achieved. Whether it's tackling child trafficking or any other complex issue, the principles of systems thinking, persistence, and introspection are invaluable.
"Transformation happens in years, not in days." - Chris Field
Key Takeaways:
- Origin of Mercy Project
- Understanding the Real Issue
- Systems Thinking vs. Linear Thinking
- Persistence – "Transformation happens in years, not in days."
- Chris's New Book: Chris talks about his upcoming book, which is an introspective look at his life and the importance of understanding oneself.
Resources Mentioned:
- Chris Field: Learn more about Chris's work at meetchrisfield.com.
- Disrupting for Good
- A Billion Hours of Good
- Mercy Project: An organization dedicated to ending child trafficking in Ghana through sustainable solutions.
- The Leader's Journey: For those interested in learning more about systems thinking and leadership skills, visit theleadersjourney.us.
Leaders who rigorously practice rest and who learn to work from rest, not work for rest, move past performance and entitlement and can sustain healthy leadership for the long haul.
This episode delves into the importance of rest, relaxation, and sabbaticals for everyone, especially leaders in various organizations. Rusty discusses the need for individuals and families to discern what true rest means to them and how they can creatively and collaboratively attain it, emphasizing the importance of connection, enjoyment, and minimizing distractions.
Conversation Overview:
- True Rest: Discerning what is restful is crucial.
- Individual Needs and Collaboration: Balancing time alone and time with others, assessing and communicating needs clearly, and offering mutual support.
- Importance of Sabbaticals: Sabbaticals are integral to long-term wellness and effectiveness in ministry and other professions.
- Importance of Rest in Organizations: Both religious and corporate entities are recognizing the value of sabbaticals in employee retention and well-being.
- Ongoing Practice: Developing restful practices is an ongoing process that may need adjustment, accountability, support, and continuous effort.
- Sabbatical Coaching and Resources
Resources:
- Rusty’s Ministry: Steadfast Ministries
- Rusty’s upcoming book: “The Art of Stability: How Staying Present Changes Everything” (2024)
- Other coaching and support resources: The Leader’s Journey
If we can’t or won’t engage conflict, we can’t lead effectively. It’s as simple as that. Fortunately, managing ourselves in conflict can be learned, unlearned and re-learned as we use conflict as a powerful opportunity for growth and change.
We wrapped up part 1 with a question from Trisha, how do we manage ourselves and stay open hearted even when the other person isn't? That's where we'll pick up in this episode. And we'll also explore the fascinating world of internal family systems and helping the organizations that we're leading develop more capacity for managing conflict.
About Our Guests: Heidi De Jonge lives in Ontario, Canada and has been an ordained minister in the Christian Reformed Church for 17 years–serving as pastor for congregations, a seminary, a university and health care. She also works in the area of conflict transformation as a restorative practitioner with FaithCARE and a trainer with The Colossian Forum. Heidi received her doctorate in ministry from Western Theological Seminary in 2018, studying and writing about conflict as an opportunity for discipleship and transformation. She and her husband, Tim, have three daughters (Naomi, Samara and Zoe, 12 to 16) and a beloved husky-lab named Nevada.
Brian Keepers has been an ordained pastor in the Reformed Church in America for 22 years. He has served three different congregations in the midwest, and he is currently serving as the lead pastor of Trinity Reformed Church in Orange City, IA. He is married to Tammy (24 years this August) and they have two daughters–Emma who is 20 and Abby who is 15 years old. They also have a granddaughter named Luna who is 2 1/2 years old. Brian loves art, reading, being outdoors, spending time with people, and getting to be “Poppy” to his granddaughter. He also loves to learn, especially at the intersection of theology, psychology and leadership.
Resources & Links: * The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable by Patrick Lencioni * Christ the Center by Dietrich Bonhoeffer * Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, et al. * Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time by Susan Scott. * Leading Through Conflict: How Successful Leaders Transform Differences into Opportunities by Mark Gerzon.
If we can’t or won’t engage conflict, we can’t lead effectively. It’s as simple as that. Fortunately, managing ourselves in conflict can be learned, unlearned and re-learned as we use conflict as a powerful opportunity for growth and change.
Conversation Overview: * What is the goal of conflict? * Mental models of conflict * Formative experiences with conflict * “Truth is not something in itself which rests for itself, but something that happens between two. Truth happens only in community.” * Crucial conversations * Growing our capacity to manage conflict * Container conversations
About Our Guests: Heidi De Jonge lives in Ontario, Canada and has been an ordained minister in the Christian Reformed Church for 17 years–serving as pastor for congregations, a seminary, a university and health care. She also works in the area of conflict transformation as a restorative practitioner with FaithCARE and a trainer with The Colossian Forum. Heidi received her doctorate in ministry from Western Theological Seminary in 2018, studying and writing about conflict as an opportunity for discipleship and transformation. She and her husband, Tim, have three daughters (Naomi, Samara and Zoe, 12 to 16) and a beloved husky-lab named Nevada.
Brian Keepers has been an ordained pastor in the Reformed Church in America for 22 years. He has served three different congregations in the midwest, and he is currently serving as the lead pastor of Trinity Reformed Church in Orange City, IA. He is married to Tammy (24 years this August) and they have two daughters–Emma who is 20 and Abby who is 15 years old. They also have a granddaughter named Luna who is 2 1/2 years old. Brian loves art, reading, being outdoors, spending time with people, and getting to be “Poppy” to his granddaughter. He also loves to learn, especially at the intersection of theology, psychology and leadership.
Resources & Links: * The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable by Patrick Lencioni * Christ the Center by Dietrich Bonhoeffer * Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, et al. * Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time by Susan Scott. * Leading Through Conflict: How Successful Leaders Transform Differences into Opportunities by Mark Gerzon.
Welcome back to another episode of The Leader's Journey podcast. Today we're sharing one of our favorite episodes from 2019, Quit Getting In Your Own Way. This episode is a deep dive into the complexities of leadership and the often-overlooked reality that we can be our own biggest obstacles.
Whether you're a seasoned leader or just starting your leadership journey, this episode offers valuable insights into self-awareness and the power of understanding and unlearning our behaviors.
We hope this conversation is helpful on your journey to get out of your own way
Conversation Overview * True self and false self * We all have needs and we all have wounds * Meaning-making * How do we learn to see ourselves? * How do we reprogram the autopilot?
In this episode, we're joined by Dr. Chuck DeGroat to talk about the natural reactivity we have to anxiety. We’ve talked a lot about fight and flight, conflict and distancing, but we don’t always add two other instinctive reactions: freeze and fawn.
We may aspire to peace-making but we often settle for peace keeping and people-pleasing. When we can see our fawn response, we can stop hiding and courageously choose genuine connection instead.
Conversation Overview:
- Chuck's tweet that inspired this conversation
- How does the fawn response mimic healthy connection while also undermining it?
- How does the fawn response show up in leadership?
- How do we connect the fawn response to anxiety?
- What might we do instead of fawning?
References:
- Link to Chuck's Tweet
- Chuck Degroat Website
- https://twitter.com/chuckdegroat
- @chuckdegroat on Threads
- Janina Fisher
- The Fifth Discipline: The art and practice of the learning organization
- Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship
- The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable
We grow our emotional maturity when we see ourselves and our relationships as part of creation and stay in touch with the natural world around us.
Conversation overview:
- Are we, humans, disconnected from nature?
- What is the relationship between emotional maturity and connection to the natural world?
- What are some practices that can bring us back into connection with nature?
Links:
- Steven Chase called Nature A Spiritual Practice
- iNaturalist
- Seek App
- "To make a prairie" by Emily Dickson
- The Peace of Wild Things Written and read by Wendell Berry
In this episode, we continue our series on learning to managing self in triangles. Joining us for this conversation is our esteemed guest and good friend, Steve Cuss. As a reminder, this series is exploring the idea that triangles are neither good nor bad, but they are tricky and when you can see the triangles you’re in and understand how they work, you have a better chance of not only surviving them but offering calm, principled leadership in the midst of them.
Conversation Overview:
- What are some common ways that leaders in particular show up in triangles?
- How do we get drawn into triangles?
- How does being in leadership impact how we show up in triangles?
- What kinds of triangles are we tempted to light up ourselves?
- What are some basic principles–and practices– about how we can better manage ourselves more thoughtfully in these tricky triangle situations?
Links:
- Steve Cuss Website
- Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs
- Family Systems and Congregational Life: A Map for Ministry
Triangles are not good or bad….but they are tricky.
We're excited to kick off our new two-part series, "Managing Self in Triangles". Our guest for this episode is Dr. Jenny Brown, the founder and executive director of the Family Systems Institute and Family Systems Practice in Sydney, Australia.
Dr. Brown is the author of the insightful book, "Growing Yourself Up: How to bring your best to all of life’s relationships", which provides practical guidance on personal development within the context of our relationships. She is also the co-author of "Bowen family systems theory in Christian ministry: Grappling with Theory and its Application Through a Biblical Lens", a thought-provoking exploration of the Bowen family systems theory within the context of Christian ministry.
In addition to her writing and counseling work, Dr. Brown is lead the Parent Hope Project. This initiative equips clinicians to effectively engage parents of symptomatic children, adolescents, and young adults, providing a roadmap for parents to discover ways they can change their part in dynamics that are inadvertently impeding their young person’s development of self-regulation and responsibility.
Conversation Overview:
- Are triangles bad?
- What are triangles for?
- What is the difference between triangles and triangulating?
- What are some of the predictable ways that triangles work?
- How do you remain in an outside or neutral position?
Links and References:
- Growing Yourself Up: How to bring your best to all of life’s relationships
- Bowen family systems theory in Christian ministry: Grappling with Theory and its Application Through a Biblical Len
- Family Systems Institute
- Parent Hope Project
- Dr Jenny Brown's Blog
In this episode, Jim and Trisha look back on The Leader's Journey, discuss key lessons and express gratitude for their clients, listeners, and the growth they've experienced through their work. We hope you'll connect with this authentic conversation.
Conversation Overview:
- Jim & Trisha discuss their history working together
- The context, culture, and spaces they work in
- The value of collaboration in their work
- The learning community they have developed
- The importance of learning
- The challenges of changing behavior
- Accountability in the learning process
References & Links:
- Tim McGee (personal, agency)
- Faithwalking
- The Podcast series on race
- Listening and Learning: An African-American Leader Shares His Story
- Changing Our Minds: How learning to see God and the world differently changed our view on race
- How We Got Here: Reflecting on our learning about race
- The series on trauma
- An introduction to trauma part 1
- An introduction to trauma part 2
- The series on power dynamics
- The Balance of Power: How trustworthy and transformative leaders balance authority and vulnerability creating space for flourishing
- Power Dynamics and Conflict: A conversation for trustworthy and transformative leaders
- Power Dynamics for Trustworthy and Transformative Leaders
- Using and Sharing Power to Create a More Just and Equitable Community
- Todd Bolsinger
- Juanita Rasmus
- Mandy Smith
- Phuc Luu
- Chuck Degrow
- Steve Cuss
- Robert Creech
Knowing and doing the right thing is hard. Staying calm and saying the course in the face of the resulting opposition can be even harder, and requires us to practice courage intentionally.
In this episode, the third in our series on courage, Jim and Trisha are joined by Jessica Shults and Mac McCarthy who discuss their unique, yet similar, pastoral stories about leading congregations through hard things in different ways. Together they talk about different practices that can be used to help grow courage in challenging circumstances.
Conversation Overview
- Being courageous in challenging established mental models can effectively lead people into new ways of thinking
- Having a sense of calling, utilizing the help of others, and having to revisit challenging things over and over again are all ways help us work on courage
- The practice of controlling our own self-care, in addition to letting other help us carry the weight of change, helps us to be able to focus in on how to handle challenging opposition in the right ways
- Staying connected and staying the course while defining oneself are two styles of leadership that we can learn from to grow our emotional maturity
Links & References
Edwin Friedman Books
Speeches By Martin Luther King Jr.: The Ultimate Collection
Todd Bolsinger Books
The Colossian Forum
Crosspoint Church Podcast and Blog
The Leader’s Journey Website
The Leader’s Journey E-mail List
Facing trauma and pain in constructive and redemptive ways requires us to practice courage intentionally. With David Zailer, author of Death of a Fisherman, Trisha and Jim continue their series on courage. Together they discuss an important question from David’s life and book: “How will you and I grow through hardship and suffering?”
Conversation Overview
- It takes courage to face our past traumas in order to grow emotionally
- The path to healing from addiction
- Connection and heal from pain
- The willingness to do small things
Links & References
- Death of a Fisherman by David Zailer
- The Allender Center
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
- Child Abuse Hotline
- Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
- Alcoholics Anonymous
- Narcotics Anonymous
- Operation Integrity
- The Leader's Journey - An Introduction to Trauma for Leaders Series
- The Leader’s Journey Website
- The Leader’s Journey E-mail List
Podcast guest Nathan Herrington helps Jim and Trisha explore practices that can sustain courage in the third episode of a series that focuses on growing our emotional maturity. By saying yes to life on its own terms we lean into how we can learn to be courageous, and essentially more effective leaders through working on intentional focused practices.
Conversation Overview
- Demonstrating courage by saying yes without knowing the outcome
- How body-based practices and body awareness can help our reactivity
- First action steps when starting a yoga or meditation practice
- Living a fully alive life by being brave
- Noticing growth through practice over time
Links & References
- Nathan Herrington’s Listening to Leaders Podcast
- Brené Brown – Quote from “The Gifts of Imperfection”
- Nathan’s LinkedIn
- Nathan’s Instagram
- The Leader’s Journey Website
- The Leader’s Journey E-mail List
In today’s podcast, we discuss how leaders often live in a pace that stands in the way of being able to grow our emotional maturity. Our guest, April Fiet, is a pastor and author whose book The Sacred Pulse: Holy Rhythms for Overwhelmed Souls posits that the process of slowing down helps us live into our callings by tapping into holy rhythms which help pattern our days according to God’s desires for our lives.
The second episode in a series revolving around practices that help us grow our emotional maturity.
Conversation Overview
- Learning to slow down to help us tap into rhythms of well being
- Chronos time vs kairos time
- Our longings to create space to be fully human
- How creativity and handcrafting helps us focus and ground
- Slowing down to examine our own selves and how we make time for others
Links & References
- The Sacred Pulse: Holy Rhythms for Overwhelmed Souls by April Fiet
- Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World by Vivek H. Murthy M.D.
- April Fiet’s Blog
- April Fiet's Free E-Book Whispers in the Wilderness: 7 Devotions for Hope in Uncertain Times
- April Fiet’s Twitter
- April Fiet’s Facebook
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
The only way to be different is to do different—seeing our autopilot ways of being and disrupting them is the only way change happens.
I rarely struggle to know what I believe the right thing to do is but I often have the inability to do the right thing…I normally know the right things about how to relate, how to do relationships, and when I get anxious sometimes and maybe some people would say often the anxiety gets in the way of my ability to do the right thing”
This is the first episode in an ongoing theme we’ll be exploring the rest of the year about practices that help us all grow our emotional maturity.
Conversation Overview * Why is it so hard? * What is an autopilot? * How can we learn to see our autopilot? * Do we really want to change? * Ways we can learn to change our autopilot * Organizations (teams and families) have autopilots
References: * Immunity to Change * Hunger for Healing by Keith Miller
As a learning community, we want to share some of our best resources with you, let you get to know our team a little better and give you a peek into what we’re learning. We hold a shared belief that, especially in a context where the pace of change is so rapid, ongoing learning that is fed by curiosity about what’s happening in our ministry context, is an essential way of being.
In this episode, we've gathered a handful of our teammembers toogther to talk about what we learned last year, to share a resource that will be helpful to our listeners, and to let us in on what they want to learn this year.
Trisha Taylor
- Learning to see her autopilot and intentionally disrupt it to "live more consciously, more thoughtfully, more awake."
- Two tools that have helped Trisha do this have been journalling and a "professional who knows how to hold space and listen."
- Don't Look Up [movie]
Aundrea Baker
- Learned about emotions, the science behind emotions, and practiced "allowing myself in certain situations to feel the feelings and pass through them and get to the other side."
- Two books were primary for me in this learning, one was Emotional Agility by Susan David, and the other one was, It's Not Always Depression by Hilary Jacobs Hendel.
Mac McCarthy
- Over the past year Mac has been learning "how to process pain in ministry" and setting appropriate boundaries.
- Two resources that have helped Mac work through this learning has been a coach and resources from Dan White Jr. and The Kineo Center
- This year he is planning to do a deep dive with his team into a leadership model that includes both men and women working together using Better Together
Tim McGee
- This past year Tim has focused a lot of his learning on the power of clarity on communication and design.
- "Clear is Kind" by Brene Brown
- A book that has helped Tim process and practice this over the past year was Strategy is Your Words by Mark Pollard
Dawn Bird
- This past year Dawn has been learning to be compassionate with herself around patterns in some of her closest relationships.
- Two resources that have helped Dawn explore this has been an episode of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast titled Breaking Cycles & Reparenting Yourself with Dr. Becky Kennedy and the book Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy
- Hello, Molly! [memoir]
Victor Chiao
- Victor said this past year he has been learning how to practice courage and draw from his guiding principles in the face of anxious situations.
- And while he says he didn't have any tangible resources he offered these thoughts, "find others with a shared vision, a community that fosters safety, that allows you...to lean into those areas of discomfort and to have a chance to choose courage."
- Another way he is planning to lean into discomfort is by up Jiujitsu this year.
Jim Herrington
- This past year Jim has been deepening his learning around trauma and exploring the connections between trauma and family systems.
- A couple resources Jim mentioned in the episode were,
- In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate M.D., The Wisdom of Trauma by Gabor Mate M.D., and Amazing Place Family Caregiver Support Resources
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
The gold standard of leadership is calm, principled presence in the face of challenge. This requires commitment and practice to do the inside-out work of growing a calmer self. About Nate Pyle Nate is an author, blogger and ordained pastor in the Reformed Church in America. In 2015, Nate released his first book, Man Enough: How Jesus Redefines Manhood, with Zondervan. He contributed to Learning Change: Congregational Transformation Fueled by Personal Renewal. Nate’s second book, More Than You Can Handle: When Life’s Overwhelming Pain Meets God’s Overcoming Grace, released in March of 2019 with Zondervan. Currently, Nate serves as the pastor of Christ’s Community Church in Fishers, Indiana where he lives with his wife and three children.
"And so the biggest growth edge for me when it comes to growing a calmer self was growing my understanding of myself and who I am, and who I believe I've been created to be and what my values and beliefs and principles are and that's still an ongoing learning, but before I could ever grow a calmer self, I just had to figure out who my self was." – Nate Pyle
Conversation Overview * What is the role of self? * Managing yourself vs changing others behavior * Calm vs reactive * Examples of calm leadership * Growing our capacity to manage ourselves * Examples of calm leadership
Links and references * Murray Bowen * Edwin Friedman * Steve Cuss book, managing Leadership Anxiety * Nate Pyle Website * Nate Pyle Books * Chronically online * Better Together * https://twitter.com/NatePyle79
Learning to Surface and Test the Mental Models: Part 2 When you are leading off map, learning to surface and test the mental models—yours and those of your team—that guide your decision-making is an essential leadership skill. In this episode, we are going to name what we believe to be the dominant mental model and then compare and contrast it to what we see emerging. As you listen, join us in asking how is the new mental model similar to what we are currently practicing and how is it different?
Listen to Learning to Surface and Test the Mental Model Part 1
Conversation Overview * Definition of a mental model * Shift in the mental model of leadership style * Shift in the mental model of discipleship * Shift in the mental model of success * Disorienting shift in influence many pastors are facing
Links & References * Mac McCarthy * Praxis Podcast with Mac McCarthy * Crosspoint Community Church * Learning to Surface and Test the Mental Model Part 1 * Alan Roxburgh * Fifth Discipline by Peter Senge * Tod Bolsinger, Canoeing the Mountains * Dallas Willard
When you are leading off map, learning to surface and test the mental models—yours and those of your team—that guide your decision-making is an essential leadership skill.
Click here to learn more about and get access to Better Together Conversation Overview
- What is a mental model and why is it important to know what one is?
- What are some biblical examples of mental model shifts?
- What is the connection of chronic anxiety to mental models?
- How do leaders function when there are a variety of mental models in the organization?
- What are some of the major mental model shifts that we see clients having to engage?
References:
- Better Together
- Fifth Discipline by Peter Senge
- Mark Sayers Renewal in the Grey Zone
- Tod Bolsinger, Canoeing the Mountains
We believe that it is God’s design for men and women to collaborate as equals in the missional life. We believe living according to God’s design is a matter of justice and a matter of missional effectiveness.
Learn more and get access to Better Together here.
Conversation Overview * How Jim & Trisha started working together * Some of what we've learned over more than 20 years of working together * Our commitment to an egalitarian vision * What if our church isn’t egalitarian? * What about the risks?
Burning out is not an inevitable part of leadership but it is a common one; leaders can care for themselves and each other as they avoid burnout where possible, heal from burnout where necessary and use burnout to learn new ways of life.
Subscribe to our newsletter Conversation Overview
- What is burnout?
- How do we distinguish between burnout, stress, depression, fatigue, etc.?
- How do our mental models and vows contribute to our tendency to burn out?
- How can we recover from burnout?
- How can we protect ourselves and those we lead from burnout?
Links
- Faithwalking
- Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory by Tod Bolsinger
- A Non-Anxious Presence: How a Changing and Complex World will Create a Remnant of Renewed Christian Leaders by Mark Sayers
- Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski
- Emily & Amelia Nagoski on Unlocking Us podcast with Brene Brown
- Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin H. Friedman
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Leading from the Second Chair with Mike Bonem Leadership is not just about being in charge. The best leaders know how to use influence and relationships to lead up, down and sideways in order to shape the things they care about.
Subscribe to our newsletter What is a second chair leader? "a person in a subordinate role whose influence with others adds value throughout the organization."
Conversation Overview:
- What is a second chair leader?
- Joseph as a biblical example of a second chair leader
- 3 apparent paradoxes of leading from the second chair
- Leader and subordinate
- Deep and wide
- Contentment and dreaming
- "How do we dream, and yet, not get so wrapped up in making my dream happen tomorrow that we lose contentment today?"
- Consider some resistance to leading from the second chair
- Deep change is a process and takes time
About Mike Bonem:
Mike Bonem is a consultant, coach, author, speaker, husband and father. He offers a unique mix of world-class consulting and executive leadership experience to help churches, ministries, and their leaders turn vision into results.
Mike holds an MBA, with distinction, from Harvard Business School. He was a senior manager with McKinsey & Company, one of the world’s leading management consulting firms, and held executive leadership roles in two businesses. He subsequently served over 10 years as the executive pastor of a large Baptist church in Houston.
Links:
- https://mikebonem.com/
- The Art of Leading Change by Mike Bonem
- Leading from the Second Chair
- Thriving in the Second Chair
- Leading Congregational Change
- Genesis 37-50
- Jim Collins - https://www.jimcollins.com/
- Leading Change, With a New Preface by the Author by John Kotter
Leadership is not just about being in charge. The best leaders know how to use influence and relationships to lead up, down and sideways in order to shape the things they care about.
Subscribe to our newsletter Conversation Overview
- What are some of the frustrations and challenges that come with trying to lead in an organization where you’re not in charge?
- What does it mean to lead up?
- What are some mental models we need to let go of to effectively lead up?
- What are the practices of leading up?
- The importance of learning to lead myself
- Influence and systems thinking
- Continuum of commitment
- Emotional bank accounts
Links:
- How to lead when you're not in charge
- 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
- The Fifth Discipline: The Art & Practice of The Learning Organization
- Leading from the Second Chair: Serving Your Church, Fulfilling Your Role, and Realizing Your Dreams
In this episode, we talk with Ben Sternke and Matt Tebbe authors of "Having the Mind of Christ: Eight Axioms to Cultivate a Robust Faith". During the conversation, we explore deconstruction, how our response to it impacts those we lead, and much more!
Subscribe to our newsletter
Conversation Overview:
- Ben & Matt's Book: Having the Mind of Christ: Eight Axioms to Cultivate a Robust Faith
- "Lenses don't change the world, but they change how we see the world."
- What is deconstruction?
- Is deconstruction a bad thing?
- Code-switching
- "We have to abandon the pursuit of the one universal way of describing everything. I think we have to abandon that because it just doesn't exist."
- The mental model shift in the book of Acts
- "The kind of deconstruction we're talking about is necessary."
Links:
- Having the Mind of Christ: Eight Axioms to Cultivate a Robust Faith
- Nate Pyle
- Gravity Leadership, gravityleadership.com
- theleadersjourney.us/newsletter
- ben@gravityleadership.com
- matt@gravityleadership.com
Today we're talking about what it means to be coachable and what it means to have a posture of coachability.
Subscribe to our newsletter! Leaders who learn to lead through coaching and who develop a culture of coaching in their organization will effectively raise up people who can consistently be the healthiest, most effective version of themselves and do their best work.
Conversation Overview
- Overview of episodes in the series so far
- What does it mean to be coachable?
- Reflecting on our own coachability
- The importance of being coachable at every level in an organization
- Developing curiosity
- The value of an organization or community committed to personal growth and development
Links
- Faithwalking
- The Leader As Coach: Five essential skills
- The Leader As Coach: Developing People
- Giving and receiving feedback
- Defined and Connected
- Learning is Imperative for Effective Leadership: Part 1
- Two Feet Walking Workbook
- Coaching description on our website
- Our Love Hate Relationship with Goals (podcast episode)
- Two Feet Walking Podcast Series
The five skills that leaders can start to work on today to become more effective leaders through coaching are deep listening, inquiry, giving clear feedback, guiding focus, and doing your own work.
Subscribe to our newsletter! Leaders who learn to lead through coaching and who develop a culture of coaching in their organization will effectively raise up people who can consistently be the healthiest, most effective version of themselves and do their best work.
Conversation Overview
- Coaching is "deliberately providing a safe and challenging environment where change is possible"
- Deep listening
- "Being profoundly heard by another person is a transformative experience." – Jim Herrington
- "The experience of being deeply listened to makes us different." – Trisha Taylor
- Inquiry
- One reason we get bored listening is because we're not actively asking questions. We're not really all that curious, we're busy, and we're distracted.
- Giving clear feedback
- Guiding focus
- Part of the skill of guiding focus is helping people pay attention to the things they need to be paying attention to.
- Doing your own work
Links:
- The Leader As Coach: Developing People
- Giving and receiving feedback
- Defined and Connected
- Learning is Imperative for Effective Leadership: Part 1
- Two Feet Walking Workbook
- Coaching description on our website
- Our Love Hate Relationship with Goals (podcast episode)
- Two Feet Walking Podcast Series
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Leaders who learn to lead through coaching and who develop a culture of coaching in their organization will effectively raise up people who can consistently be the healthiest, most effective version of themselves and do their best work.
Subscribe to our newsletter! Conversation Overview:
- Leadership mental models
- What do we mean by coaching?
- Coaching styles and approaches
- How will leaders need to change in order to take on coaching as a key method of leading?
- Feedback and accountability
- Working from a shared vision
- Developing a culture of coaching in an organization
Links:
- The End of Leadership by Barbara Kellerman
- Two Feet Walking Workbook
- Coaching description on our website
- Our Love Hate Relationship with Goals (podcast episode)
- Two Feet Walking Podcast Series
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
In this episode of The Leader's Journey Podcast, Trisha and Jim are reflecting on the past two years, what they've learned, how things have changed, and what they can see differently now from a different vantage point.
In part of the episode, Jim and Trisha reflect on a few podcasts and blog posts they shared during the early stages of the pandemic. We wanted to encourage you to review those resources and reflect on the leadership challenges you've faced in the last two years to learn from them and take that learning into the future. Here are a couple of those resources:
- Systems Thinking in Anxious Times
- Leading in Uncertain Times (COVID-19)
- After the Adrenaline: Self-care in a Time of Crisis
- The Big Picture: Pandemic, Anxiety, and Society
In our most recent newsletter, Trisha shared three things she hopes people will reflect on as they read and listen to the resources above and this episode of the podcast.
After reviewing the resources above and listening to this episode of the podcast, we want to hear from you. What do you notice when you reflect on your role as a leader over the past two years?
Conversation Overview:
- So is the pandemic over? Where are we now?
- Reflecting on a few of our podcasts and blogs from early stages of the pandemic
- What do leaders know now that we didn’t know before?
- What systems principles do we need to remember in this time?
To navigate the storms in our systems it is important to be able to notice and identify them as ambient anxiety from a culture in chaos, a crisis eruption, or the conflict that shows up as a symptom of the anxiety in our system.
Subscribe to our newsletter! The Leader's Journey Book Series
The process of researching, studying, and writing the book The Leader’s Journey changed the trajectory of our lives. In this series, we are joined by our co-author Dr. Robert Creech and together we’ll be going over some key ideas from the book and the impact those ideas have had and are having on our lives.
Conversation Overview
- The storms that arise in a system: ambient anxiety from a culture in chaos
- The storms that arise in a system: when crisis erupts, often without warning
- The storms that arise in a system: the conflict that shows up as a symptom as the system experiences anxiety
- Tammie Jo Shultz story
- How the practice of the spiritual disciplines moves us toward transformation
- Why is a focus on learning so crucial?
- Thinking systems as a Christian
- Family Systems and Congregational Life
Links:
- The Leader’s Journey
- Tammie Jo Shults air traffic control audio
- Dr. Robert Creech on Amazon
- Family Systems and Congregational Life
- Edwin Friedman-Generation to Generation and A Failure of Nerve
- Victoria Harrison
- Family Systems and Congregational Life
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
What does our family of origin or our nuclear family have to do with how we lead? In this episode, we explore that question as we discuss the third section of our book entitled Family Patterns.
The process of researching, studying, and writing the book The Leader’s Journey changed the trajectory of our lives. In this series, we are joined by our co-author Dr. Robert Creech and together we’ll be going over some key ideas from the book and the impact those ideas have had and are having on our lives.
Conversation overview:
- What do you consider to be a connection between your own call to ministry and the family you came from?
- What is the value of a family diagram?
- How does working on our emotional maturity within our family system impact us outside of our family system?
Links: * The Leader’s Journey * Dr. Robert Creech on Amazon * Family Systems and Congregational Life * Edwin Friedman-Generation to Generation and A Failure of Nerve * Victoria Harrison * Flawed Families of the Bible by David and Diana Garland * Family Ties That Bind by Ronald Richardson * A Family Diagram Workbook by Israel Galindo * Extraordinary Relationships: A New Way of Thinking about Human Interactions by Roberta Gilbert
To think systems, we have to give up cause-and-effect thinking. Everyone in a particular system is influencing and being influenced all the time.
The process of researching, studying, and writing the book The Leader’s Journey changed the trajectory of our lives. In this series, we are joined by our co-author Dr. Robert Creech and together we’ll be going over some key ideas from the book and the impact those ideas have had and are having on our lives.
Conversation Overview:
- What is a living system?
- How does systems thinking differ from other ways of seeing the world?
- What is the effect of systems thinking on leadership?
- How can a leader learn to manage self in those predictable triangles?
- What are some ways we can practice emotional maturity while we’re under pressure?
Links: * The Leader’s Journey * Dr. Robert Creech on Amazon * Family Systems and Congregational Life
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
"An effective leader, one who can galvanize individuals and groups and who has the potential to help transform society is a person who has the capacity to know and do the right thing." – The Leader's Journey
The process of researching, studying, and writing the book The Leader's Journey changed the trajectory of our lives. In this series, we are joined by our co-author Dr. Robert Creech and together we'll be going over some key ideas from the book and the impact those ideas have had and are having on our lives.
Conversation Overview
- What does it mean to be a leader who has the capacity to know and do the right thing?
- What are living systems? How does looking at living systems change our thinking about leadership?
- What do we believe about how change takes place in a person's life?
- What have we learned about this in our own lives?
- How does Jesus serve as a mentor for us as we grow our capacity to "know and do the right things?" What can we see in Jesus' life about how to show up in the systems we are part of?
- How can listeners/readers use this book?
Links:
- The Leader's Journey
- Dr. Robert Creech on Amazon
- Family Systems and Congregational Life
How can leaders use the power they have on behalf of others and share their power with others in order to create a more just and more equitable community?
We are joined by Dr. D. Z. Cofield and Deborah Pulis for this conversation.
In this series, we are exploring the inherent connection between leadership and power. We hope to help leaders better understand the dynamics of power in their organizations and in themselves and develop some principles and practices that help them use their own power wisely.
Conversation overview
- Dr. D.Z. Cofield, Pastor of Good Hope Missionary Baptist Church
- Deborah Pulis, Executive Director of Body Oak Cliff
- Sometimes, our intentions may not be as good as we think they are
- Learning to recognize your power
- “True power is given to you, it’s not taken from them.” – Dr. D.Z. Cofield
- “Live boldly and clean up your messes as you go along.” – Deborah Pulis
- Being stingy with power
- “I wonder what would happen if everyone in this country that had a spare bedroom used it to house someone” – Deborah Pulis
- Learning to be sensitive to how I apply power in different contexts
- The story of The Well
- Using power FOR vs. WITH others
- Stories about sharing power
- Entrusting others with power prematurely
- The role of mentoring in sharing power
- “Trust that something bigger can come out of divergent voices.” – Deborah Pulis
About our guests:
Dr. D.Z. Cofield is Senior Pastor of Good Hope Missionary Baptist Church in Houston’s Third Ward. He has a Master’s Degree in Theology at the Dallas Theological Seminary and a Doctor of Ministry Degree at Faith Evangelical Seminary in Tacoma, Washington. You can read his full bio here .
Deborah Pulis is the Executive Director of Body Oak Cliff where they work to see the Body of Christ united and working together. She and her husband Joel live in community with a very diverse group of people and have been key leaders at The Well in Dallas, a community for adults who struggle with severe and chronic mental illness.
Links:
- Faithwalking
- The Well
- Good Hope Missionary Baptist Church
- Body Oak Cliff
In this episode, we explore how trustworthy and transformative leaders carefully balance authority and vulnerability to create space for flourishing.
Conversation overview
- What comes to mind when you think about authority?
- What comes to mind when you think about vulnerability?
- The vulnerability to tell the truth
- Having conviction and humility
- The importance of loving the people that we serve
- What might it look like to be out of balance?
- Listener question: what do forgiveness and reconciliation look like when we're thinking about using power wisely?
- The skill of holding tension
- When is the right place and who are the right people to be vulnerable with?
- How can we learn to balance authority and vulnerability, to hold the tension?
Links:
- When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse by Chuck DeGroat
- Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
- Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. by Brene Brown
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
- Strong and Weak: Embracing a Life of Love, Risk and True Flourishing by Andy Crouch
- Dr. James Furr
- Psalm 8
A conversation about leadership is inherently a conversation about power, and a conversation about power is inherently a conversation about conflict. In this episode, we explore how trustworthy and transformative leaders understand how power dynamics are always present in conflict and how they can be navigated wisely, creating the results we want. Thanks for listening! Summary:
- Assumptions about power
- Having power exposes our values
- Power determines the terms of a conflict
- Power as dominance
- Hidden expressions of power
- When powerful people feel powerless
- Passive Aggressive power
- How conflict helps us reach our goals
Links:
- 5 Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni
- Explore the various forms of power in this download from Brene Brown
- Giving & Receiving Feedback
- Effective and Empowering Accountability
- How did Jesus deal with Conflict?
- Dare to Lead by Brene Brown
- Defined and Connected
- Applying Systems Thinking
- Bowen Family Systems Theory Series
- Spiritual Practices That Lead To Breakthrough
- The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
- Quit Getting In Your Own Way
Trustworthy and transformative leaders understand the dynamics of power in their organizations and in themselves and they have developed principles and practices that help them use their own power wisely. * “Power is the ability to achieve purpose, power is the ability to effect change, and we need power.” – Martin Luther King Jr. * Leaders will too often use their power in ways that produce outcomes counter to their stated vision or goals * Misusing and not exercising power * Power is neutral * Power dynamics exist regardless of whether we intend to use them or not * Dare to lead by Brene Brown * Power over or positions of power * Power with or the power to collaborate * Power to or the power to accomplish and take action * Power dynamics are both subjective and objective
It’s the new year and some of us have been planning our new year’s resolutions for months, some of us haven’t and feel guilty about it, and some of us very strictly don’t do resolutions. Our culture is very keen on goal-setting and yet, we wonder how effective that is.
In this episode, we got our whole team together to have a conversation about goals, when they work for us, and when they dont.
- Tying goals to guiding principles and core principles
- 12-week or quarterly goals
- Setting goals out of a false self
- Can goals be too specific?
- “If goals are tied to my worth, then I'm going to be in trouble.”
- Setting goals around roles and goals.
- Begin with the end in mind and plan backward
- Daily to-dos focused on making progress toward long-term goals
- Tying goals to my dreams for my life
- Framing goals for learning and not achievement
- Recognizing underlying systemic obstacles
- Being goals and doing goals
- Extrinsic and intrinsic
- Goals as a practice
References
- Click here to check out our team
- 12-week year
- Atomic habits
- Your Theme by CGP Grey
- Doing the Math of mission
- 7 Habits by Stephen Covey
- Goals: It’s Complicated - The Leader’s Journey
- Setting Goals that Disrupt Habits and Utilize Systems - The Leader’s Journey
We wanted the last episode of this year to be a little different. There will not be a leadership principle, and there's not going to be a question that we're trying to answer. But in this episode, I think we want to talk to each other and talk to our community as the year winds down. To give us the opportunity to reflect a little bit on this last year.
Conversation overview:
- We're not designed to live disconnected over the long haul
- What is normal?
- Societal upheaval
- Considering family systems
- Resilience and reframing what success might look like
- Doing hard things well
- The power and importance of authentic relationships
- Parting thoughts for our community as we wrap up this year
References:
- Churches learning change
- Faithwalking
- AA
- Family systems theory
- Your Labor Is Not in Vain (Live) (feat. Paul Zach)
Today Jim is joined by our colleague and fellow coach, Dr. Michael De Ruyter. Mike and Jim are facilitating a learning community for 10 pastors this fall and today's podcast is a conversation between us that we prepared for one of the gatherings of this group of pastors, the topic is systems thinking and how we utilize this way of thinking and highly complex and emotionally charged leadership situations.
We invite you to listen.
Conversation overview:
- The mental model of systems thinking
- Cause and effect thinking
- What is a system?
- Why systems thinking
- How systems change
- How anxiety shows up in a system
- Recognizing anxiety in ourselves
How do we implement accountability strategies that are actually empowering and effective?
In our efforts to lead a group of people toward a shared mission or vision, we must find ways to overcome our negative experiences with accountability and learn to hold ourselves, each other and our organizations accountable in collaborative, grace-filled and practical ways.
Summary:
- Reactions to the idea of accountability from our experiences and our first formation
- Accountability and performance appraisals and feedback
- Using meetings to hold ourselves accountable
- Accountability for ourselves and to each other--accountability structures in The Leader’s Journey
- 200% accountability -- Accountability in a collaborative context
- Distinguishing accountability from blame
- Practices for accountability in complexity--being accountable for being accountable
Resources:
- 2FW Workbook
- Renovare
- Resources for effective feedback: Radical Candor & Crucial Accountability
- Our past podcast on feedback: Giving & Receiving Feedback
- Resources for the structure to support accountability: Traction & 4 Disciplines of Execution
- The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill
- The One Thing by Keller and Papasan, especially Fig. 24 and Fig. 32
Many organizations have plenty of great ideas and plans for the future but they struggle to focus everyone in the same direction and goal setting always seems to fall flat. How can we do strategic planning in a way that will help us get where we’re trying to go?
That's the topic for this episode of our series exploring questions we get from leaders about that second set of leadership skills--the collective skills it takes to lead people.
Download the Two Feet Walking Workbook
Conversation overview:
- What are the different components of strategic planning?
- How does strategic planning fit into what we know about adaptive leadership?
- Is strategic planning different for churches and ministries and nonprofits? How?
- Why do organizations sometimes resist strategic planning?
- What are some concerns about the strategic planning process?
- If someone is just beginning to think about strategic planning, where should they start and what should they remember?
Other episodes in this series can be found here at theleadersjourney.us/2fw
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
The question we are exploring in this episode is, "So I believe that God is doing a new thing, how do I help people let go of the past so that we can move toward a different future?"
Conversation Overview * The nature of change * The nature of grief * How do we help people name and grieve their losses without getting stuck in them? * What are the skills and practices for this work? * How is this work similar and different with a group of people as opposed to individuals? * How do I know when it’s time to “move on?”
Download the Two Feet Walking Workbook
I understand that I’m supposed to be leading toward God’s emerging future, mobilizing people toward a shared vision. But honestly, it’s like herding cats! How do we know where we’re supposed to be going?
Download the Two Feet Walking Workbook
Conversation Overview:
- What makes this difficult?
- What are some different ways to look at collective discernment?
- What do we believe about the process of collective discernment?
- What are some practices and skills leaders can develop to help this process?
We live in a culture that is drowning in emotion and at the same time we are emotionally numb and cut off. The church is no different. In order to have something compelling to offer in our culture, in order to work together in ministry, we have to learn how to name and manage our emotions.
This episode is about understanding and managing our emotions from our six-part series on leadership practices that lead to breakthrough. If you’d like to learn more about this series or our organizational coaching and leadership development services you can contact us using our website, https://theleadersjourney.us/contact
Conversation Overview * Spiritual life vs. emotional life * Learning to feel his feelings * What are feelings good for? * Disrupting old ways of thinking
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
This episode is about learning to master transformation conversations from our six-part series on leadership practices that lead to breakthrough. If you’d like to learn more about this series or our organizational coaching and leadership development services you can contact us using our website, https://theleadersjourney.us/contact
- Change happens at the speed of conversation
- God created with God’s words
- What do our words enroll people in?
- Enrolling people in hope
- The 3 parts of a transformation conversation
- How are you going to practice?
A guiding principle is a standard you want to live up to or a value you want to live into with integrity.
This episode is about learning to identify and clarify guiding principles from our six-part series on leadership practices that lead to breakthrough. If you'd like to learn more about this series or our organizational coaching and leadership development services you can contact us using our website, https://theleadersjourney.us/contact
Conversation Overview:
- Distinguishing guiding principles from beliefs and core values
- Do guiding principles change throughout our lives?
- Integrity and accountability
- How to clean up messes & the integrity conversation
- Moving from theoretical to practical
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
We are in a changing context and the practices we grew up with are not the practices that will sustain the kind of leadership we need in this world.
We believe that effective leaders have a set of daily, weekly, and occasional practices that nourish their spirit and fosters ongoing transformation.
This episode is about spiritual practices that lead to breakthrough from our six-part series on leadership practices that lead to breakthrough. If you'd like to learn more about this series or our organizational coaching and leadership development services you can contact us using our website, https://theleadersjourney.us/contact
- Leaders can grow their capacity- What are spiritual practices?
- Getting access to your inner-life
- Being intentionally about choosing practices
- Examining our practices
- Where do you want to have a breakthrough?
We can navigate cancel culture by seeing the systems forces that perpetuate it and by managing ourselves wisely in the midst of those forces. We started this conversation a couple of months ago and are especially interested in how it relates to leadership in a Christian context.
Conversation overview: * What is cancel culture? * Systems forces on cancel culture * Connections between outrage culture and cancel culture * What we aren’t saying * How can leaders look at cancel culture differently? * How can leaders navigate cancel culture in their organizations and relationships?
To change the way you show up in a system, you have to learn to disrupt your autopilot. Change is not just a set of ideas, deep desire, or good intentions. It is a set of practices and in this episode, we explore some of those practices.
Conversation Overview * Identifying the behavior you want to change
- Identify the impact on you and on those around you
- Give your word to yourself and a few trusted colleagues that you are going to change your behavior
- Reflect: Learn to see it in the rearview mirror
- Clean up the messes
- Celebrate the wins and have self-compassion
Two Feet Walking: Part 3 APRIL 21, 2021 By The Leader's Journey (Edit)
Between the pace of change and the complexity of modern life, congregational leadership isn’t just one thing and can’t be done by just one person. In order to stay balanced and effective, leaders must learn to engage the complexity of both making individual disciples and mobilizing a group of people to engage a shared mission. We call this Two Feet Walking.
In this episode, we talk about integration–the ability to walk with both feet in a natural cadence and rhythm of leadership. We also address the obstacles to this way of leading–overwhelm and fatigue, job descriptions and congregational expectations and the danger of trying to do it alone.
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Conversation overview: * Living in liminal space * Integration: the rhythm of walking with both feet * List of skills related to leading individuals to maturity and transformation * List of skills related to leading groups of people to accomplish a shared mission * Making new maps * Addressing the obstacles: overwhelm, job descriptions and congregational expectations and giving the work back to others
Resources * Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory
- How to Lead When You Don’t Know Where You Are Going: Leading In A Liminal Season by Susan Beaumont
- Family Systems and Congregational Life by Robert Creech
- Doing the Math of Mission: Fruits, Faithfulness, and Metrics by Gil Rendle
- Traction: Get A Grip on Your Business by Gino Wickman
- Generating and Sustaining Creative Tension: An Overview by Jim and Trisha
Resources for deconstructing your first formation: * Becoming a Healthier Pastor by Ronald Richardson * An Introduction to Trauma for Leaders: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 * Quit Getting In Your Own Way * Faithwalking
Resources for Skill Development: * Being an Emotional Grown-up: Defined and Connected in an Emotionally Charged System * Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, et. al. * Leading in a Politically Charged Culture * Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs by Steve Cuss
Resources for Coaching: * An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey * Coaching: The Art of Creating a Safe and Challenging Space
Resources for Skill Development: * How did Jesus deal with Conflict? * Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown
Resources for Missional Living: * How did Jesus deal with Conflict? * Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown
Resources for Skill Development: * Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory by Tod Bolsinger * The Gospel Next Door: Following Jesus Right Where You Are by Marty Troyer
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Filed Under: Leadership, Podcast
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Between the pace of change and the complexity of modern life, congregational leadership isn’t just one thing and can’t be done by just one person. In order to stay balanced and effective, leaders must learn to engage the complexity of both making individual disciples and mobilizing a group of people to engage a shared mission. We call this Two Feet Walking.
In this episode, we explore the skills that leaders must have to mobilize a group of people to engage a shared mission in a rapidly changing cultural and religious context.
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Conversation overview: * Vision, map-making and liminal space * Accountability and conflict resolution as essential skills * Responding to complexity * Self-care in the midst of loss * Giving the work away
Resources * How to Lead When You Don’t Know Where You Are Going: Leading In A Liminal Season by Susan Beaumont * Family Systems and Congregational Life by Robert Creech * Doing the Math of Mission: Fruits, Faithfulness, and Metrics by Gil Rendle * Traction: Get A Grip on Your Business by Gino Wickman * Generating and Sustaining Creative Tension: An Overview by Jim and Trisha
Resources for deconstructing your first formation: * Becoming a Healthier Pastor by Ronald Richardson * An Introduction to Trauma for Leaders: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 * Quit Getting In Your Own Way * Faithwalking
Resources for Skill Development: * Being an Emotional Grown-up: Defined and Connected in an Emotionally Charged System * Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, et. al. * Leading in a Politically Charged Culture * Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs by Steve Cuss
Resources for Coaching: * An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey * Coaching: The Art of Creating a Safe and Challenging Space
Resources for Skill Development: * How did Jesus deal with Conflict? * Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown
Resources for Missional Living: * How did Jesus deal with Conflict? * Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown
Resources for Skill Development: * Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory by Tod Bolsinger * The Gospel Next Door: Following Jesus Right Where You Are by Marty Troyer
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Congregational leadership isn’t just one thing and can’t be done by just one person. In order to stay balanced and effective, leaders must learn to engage the complexity of both making individual disciples and mobilizing a group of people to engage a shared mission. We call this Two Feet Walking.
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Conversation overview: * Rapidly changing ministry contexts require complex leadership * Two Feet Walking * Ministry leadership as developing individual disciples to live missionally * Being fully human – woundedness and flourishing * Being people who can handle conflict well
Resources for deconstructing your first formation: Becoming a Healthier Pastor by Ronald Richardson
An Introduction to Trauma for Leaders
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
QuitGettingInYourOwnWay
Faithwalking
Resources for Skill Development: BeinganEmotionalGrown–up: DefinedandConnectedinanEmotionallyChargedSystem
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, et. al.
Leading in a Politically Charged Culture
Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs by Steve Cuss
Resources for Coaching: An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey
Coaching: TheArtofCreatingaSafeandChallengingSpace
Resources for Skill Development: HowdidJesusdealwithConflict?
Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown
Resources for Missional Living: HowdidJesusdealwithConflict?
Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown
Resources for Skill Development: Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory by Tod Bolsinger
The Gospel Next Door: Following Jesus Right Where You Are by Marty Troyer
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
We know that our lives and our leadership flourish when we practice showing up in emotionally mature ways but we don’t always know what that looks like practically. After thinking together about emotional maturity for more than 20 years, we believe that it looks like practicing being both defined and connected as a way of life.
In this podcast, we talk about defining ourselves, letting others define themselves, staying appropriately connected . . . and then we look at the “and” that holds them all together. It’s a little bit like patting your head and rubbing your tummy–trying to do both things at once is a challenge! We think it’s worth it, though. We hope you’ll join us to look at how the concept of being defined and connected shows up in your life and how you can use it as a framework to think through some of your stickiest problems.
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Conversation overview: * Defining ourselves by clearly and courageously saying what is so for us * Allowing (and even inviting) others to define themselves * Staying appropriately connected and honoring our relationships with others even if they see things differently * Connecting by listening rather than convincing * Disagreeing without dehumanizing each other * Looking at your patterns: Do you give up defining yourself in order to preserve the connection? Do you define yourself but let go of the connection? * Examples of practice * A visual representation
Resources: HowdidJesusdealwithConflict?
Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
After talking about each of the 8 core concepts of Bowen Family Systems Theory in previous episodes, we come back together in this episode to ask some final questions about the theory and its usefulness to us as leaders.
We wonder about the relationship of the theory to our spirituality. What do we have to learn about faith from this theory? How can we approach our faith and the faith of others with curiosity and objectivity?
We also look at common myths about BFST and answer common questions that people have about the theory. We hope that this series will lead you to investigate further and consider BFST as one of the theories that guide your leadership
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Summary: * The relationship between BFST and faith * Bowen’s 9th concept - the supernatural * Asking questions about our faith - objective and subjective * Our own stories about our faith and BFST
- Addressing common myths about BFST:
- Bowen theory is uncaring and unrelational
- Triangles are bad
- I should get everyone in my life on board with BFST
- Systems theory is opposed to personal responsibility
For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources: * The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert * Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert * https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ * For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen’s own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.
To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: * A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown * A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Leadership issues as close to home as sibling position and as big-picture as societal regression -- Bowen Family Systems Theory has it all. In the 4th episode in this series, we talk about how our birth order powerfully shapes our behavior as leaders as well as the behavior of those we lead. Then we explore how anxiety shows up in our society in ways that we all recognize from today’s headlines and we consider what less-anxious leadership looks like in times of upheaval and uncertainty.
Summary:
- A theory about how humans actually function
- Even siblings grow up in a different family
- How sibling position shapes our behavior and functioning
- Sibling position in congregations and organizations
- How society functions like families do
- Anxiety in society’s attempts at problem-solving
- Strategies for leaders
For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources: * The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert * Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert * https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ * For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen’s own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.
To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: * A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown * A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman
How did the role you played in your family shape who you became? How does it shape your leadership? How do the people in your organization express the role they learned in their families? We invite you to consider how your family helped you shape the self that you bring to your leadership as well as how these concepts show up in the organization that you lead.
This is the third in a series of conversations about Bowen Family System Theory, a theory that has deeply influenced us and our book The Leader’s Journey. In this episode, we cover a lot of ground as we look at two of the eight concepts of Bowen theory: the family projection process and the multigenerational transmission process.
Summary: * Are you flying by the seat of your pants? How testing a unifying theory can integrate your leadership * The impact of a family’s anxious focus * Our roles shape our functioning and our leadership * The magic of connecting across the generations * A family diagram – a useful tool for families and organizations
Resources * The Leader's Journey page * Jim’s Facebook page * Trisha’s Facebook page * Mike’s Facebook page
As a guide to doing your own family of origin work, we highly recommend the book Becoming a Healthier Pastor by Ronald Richardson.
We also find value in A Family Genogram Workbook by Israel Galindo.
For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources: * The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert * Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert * https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ * For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen’s own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.
To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: * A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown * A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman
Can you see the triangles in your family and your organization? How do you manage yourself in them? What role does distancing and cutoff have in your relationships over time? Can you imagine a different way of showing up in these intense and anxious relationships?
This is the second in a series of conversations about Bowen Family Systems Theory, a theory that has deeply influenced us and our book The Leader’s Journey. In this episode, we cover a lot of ground as we look at two of the eight concepts of Bowen theory: triangles and cutoff. This sets us up to talk about the rest of the theory in future episodes and to make application to leadership at every level.
Summary: * Triangles – the basic molecule of human relationships * Triangles, anxiety and leadership * Taking a healthy position in common triangles * Cutoff – managing anxiety with distance * Cutoff in families and faith groups * What if cutoff seems to be working for us? * Imagining change as a path to change
Resources For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources: * The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert * Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert * https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ * For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen’s own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.
To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: * A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown * A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman
What theories do you have about leadership? How do they guide the work you do? Whether we can articulate them or not, we all have assumptions about human behavior and how people change and what good leadership looks like. When we can make them explicit and test them in our experience, we are able to be more thoughtful and intentional about how we lead.
This is the first in a series of conversations about Bowen Family Systems Theory, a theory that has deeply influenced us and our book The Leader’s Journey. You may have heard about triangling or about being a less anxious presence or about being defined and connected without knowing much about the deeper theory that underlies those popular ideas.
In this episode, we cover a lot of ground as we look at two of the eight concepts of Bowen theory: the nuclear family emotional system and differentiation of self. This sets us up to talk about the rest of the theory in future episodes and to make application to leadership at every level.
Summary: * Systems thinking * Anxiety and togetherness fusions * Family relationship patterns * Relationship patterns in congregations and organizations * The role of leadership and coaching * The differentiation of self scale and levels of functioning * Togetherness and autonomy
Resources: For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources: * The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert * Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert * https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ * For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen’s own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.
To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: * A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown * A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman
It seems fitting that Chuck DeGroat’s new book about narcissism and the church would come out in 2020 as we’re all noticing the fault lines in our life together like never before. Chuck (psychologist, professor, pastor) reminds us that this isn’t new; that “we swim in the cultural waters of narcissism” all the time. He helps us to see how narcissism affects us, how misunderstanding it makes it worse and how we can respond to it with both grace and boundaries.
We explore how healthy leaders can ask "How do you experience me?" Then listen non-defensively to the honest feedback.
We hope you'll listen in.
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Conversation Overview * Leadership principle: * What a narcissistic leader looks like * Two kinds of narcissism * Am I a narcissist? * Wounding and gaslighting * Systems that support narcissistic leadership * Narcissism and the Enneagram * Surviving pandemic pressure--are the pastors okay?
More from Chuck: twitter @chuckdegroat
https://chuckdegroat.net/
When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse
Wholeheartedness: Busyness, Exhaustion, and Healing the Divided Self
Falling into Goodness: Lenten Reflections
Leaving Egypt: Finding God in the Wilderness Places
Toughest People to Love: How to Understand, Lead, and Love the Difficult People in Your Life -- Including Yourself
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Being a leader means being an expert, having it all together and getting things done . . . or at least that’s what we sometimes think. Pastor and author Mandy Smith guides us into a way of thinking about leadership that is centered in vulnerability, deep reflection and slow growth. She reminds us that weakness can be a ministry resource and that all ministry begins with a gut-level cry for help to God.
We hope you’ll listen in.
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Conversation Overview * Leadership principle: Where we are going and how we get there are the same thing * Weakness as a ministry resource * What must we do to be saved? * Vulnerability for women and marginalized leaders * Slowing down for deep reflection * How vulnerable pastors create culture
Resources mentioned in this podcast: Pray As You Go
Reach Mandy on Twitter @UCCMandy and Instagram @UCCMandy
About Mandy: Mandy Smith is the lead pastor of University Christian Church in Cincinnati, Ohio. Her most recent book is The Vulnerable Pastor: How Human Limitations Empower Our Ministry published by IVP. Originally from Australia, she is also the author of several other books, an artist, a writer, a teacher with Fuller Seminary and a regular contributor to Missio Alliance where she directs the SheLeads Summit. Her new book, set to be released in the spring of 2021 is Unfettered: Imagining a Childlike Faith Beyond the Baggage of Western Culture.
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Feeling disoriented these days? Pastor and author Juanita Rasmus helps us to see that all of life is an expression of orientation, dis-orientation and re-orientation.
She describes the day that her life “crashed,” eventually opening up new ways of being, ministering and leading. She shows us how to find God and our truest selves when we have nothing else to offer. As a bonus, she shares with us the ultimate question we must all answer.
You will love her characteristic energy and wisdom and her practical approach to healthy leadership.
We hope you’ll listen in.
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Conversation Overview * The “Crash” * Listening to our bodies or, why prayer isn’t enough * How our woundedness draws us to ministry * Finding a God of love and grace at rock bottom * Exchanging superficiality and ego for deep healing * Finding the authentic self in suffering * The ultimate question
Juanita’s New Book We’re so excited about Juanita’s book: Learning to Be: Finding Your Center After the Bottom Drops Out.
Other Resources: Resources mentioned in the podcast:
Examen – St. IgnatiusofLoyola
Renovare
St. John’s Church
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Everywhere we go, we hear stories from leaders about how a politically charged culture is poisoning relationships, splitting organizations and creating stress far above normal. Yet, our country needs leaders at all levels who can manage themselves in polarization by thinking clearly, acting out of deeply held principles and staying connected to people who see things differently. And that’s a lot easier said than done. In this episode, we discuss attitudes and practices that will help us lead effectively in these challenging times.
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Conversation overview: * Leaders and organizations are in crisis due to political and emotional polarization * Getting out of the echo chamber * The right to be wrong—staying connected to people who see things differently * Differentiation of self in a politically anxious system * Moving away from the extremes * Practices for self-management in the face of difference
Resources: Polarization and the Healthier Church
Disunity in Christ
Crucial Conversations
Extraordinary Relationships
Colossian Forum
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Our friend Phuc Luu wrote one of our favorite books this year, Jesus From the East. In this episode, he shares his thinking about how the gospel is not only for sinners but also for the sinned-against. Using the Korean concept of han, Phuc shows us how we lead best when we lead in ways that are not just transactional but deeply human, actively caring for the wounded and vulnerable.
Click here for Phuc’s new book
We hope you’ll listen in.
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Conversation Overview * Jesus saw people in his community as sinners and the sinned-against * Stopping the cycle of sin by healing the wounds of the sinned-against * Projecting our brokenness onto others * The Korean concept of han * Leaders foster healing and justice by acknowledging and naming injustice and woundedness
About Phuc Luu Reach Phuc at www.phucluu.com
Born in Vietnam and raised in Houston, Texas, Phuc Luu seeks the integration and intersection of art, philosophy, and theology. His work has appeared in the AmerAsian Journal, The Journal of Pastoral Care, the Truett Journal of Church and Mission, the Houston Chronicle, and NPR’s This I Believe. He has published on a variety topics such as Medieval philosophy, pastoral care, theology and culture, philosophy of religion, and art and culture. He carries advance degrees in theology (Baylor) and philosophy (the University of St. Thomas). He has served on the Nobel Peace Prize Committee for the American Friends Service Committee (Quakers) for seven years as a member. He has taught philosophy and theology at Sam Houston State University and Houston Baptist University. He currently teaches Old Testament prophets and New Testament gospels at Houston’s Episcopal High School, and is working on his second book, a sequal to Jesus of the East.
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Do we love people by tolerating their terrible behavior? How do we stop demonizing people who get in our way? What about when I am the one who is sabotaging change?
In our conversation with Steve Cuss, author of Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs, we look at the reality of sabotage in the process of leading change. Because anxiety spreads in a group and because typically the most anxious person in the room holds the most power, managing ourselves in the face of sabotage is always the key to leadership survival.
We hope you'll listen in.
Conversation Overview * Anxiety: even more contagious than COVID * Does love mean I have to tolerate people's terrible behavior? * How do I stop demonizing people who get in my way? * Advantages of systems theory for leadership * Working our way out of double binds * Managing ourselves in triangles (and don't miss Steve's great definition of a triangle!)
About Steve Steve Cuss is a multi-talented leader and also the pastor at Discovery Christian Church in Broomfield, CO.
Steve's Twitter feed is gold. Follow him @stevecusswords
You can also check out everything he's doing, including his podcast, at www.stevecusswords.com
His book is Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs.
Also mentioned on the podcast: Generation to Generation by Edwin Friedman
The Family Crucible by Augustus Napier and Carl Whitaker
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It’s a lot of fun to have friends and colleagues who are also writers and in this series we want to introduce some of them to you.
In our conversation with Tod Bolsinger, author of Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory, he talks with us about how to lead when you don’t know what to do. He quotes a pastor who told him, “I think I can learn adaptive change but I’m not sure I can survive it.” In this episode, Dr. Bolsinger reminds us that we can grow our leadership resilience through reflection, relationships and a rule of life.
Conversation Overview:
• The challenges of 2020: 1918, 1929 and 1968 all at the same time
• Managing your anxiety about leadership and enter into a learning process
• Lead through loss
• Learning from people on the margins
• Growing resilience when you face a mountain of despair
• Tempered steel as an example of being forged for resilience and effectiveness
• Accepting that not everyone will come with us when we lead
• Resilience comes when we are able to ground ourselves in something other than our own success as leaders
• Leading in exile
• Looking and Listening: Listening as attunement; Looking from the balcony
Resources: For more from Tod Bolsinger, text UNCHARTED to 66866 and connect to his resources.
- Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory
- Leadership for a Time of Pandemic
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Today's world is far too complex to understand in terms of linear, either/or thinking. Emotionally intelligent leaders are able to hold tension in complex situations--to let go of binary thinking and experience the power of "AND."
Have you ever . . .
- felt more than one feeling at the same time?
- seen more than one perspective at once?
- held competing values without giving up either?
- felt the tension of seemingly contradictory ideas that are both true?
If so, you have experienced the power of “AND.”
The ability to hold tension helps us to lead at higher levels, avoid thinking errors, solve intractable problems, have better relationships and improve our emotional health. Learn to harness the power of "AND."
Conversation Overview:
- Emotionally intelligent leaders are able to hold tension in complex situations and experience the power of “And.”
- We hold tension when we hold on to multiple perspectives at the same time.
- Examples of the power of holding tension, the power of “And,” when new and creative solutions emerge
- Real life practice for holding tension as a skill
- Managing cognitive dissonance
Resources:
Richard Rohr: The Naked Now
The journey toward anti-racism and racial justice leads us through deep reflection on our own theological pilgrimage. We look at how our view of missiology, ecclesiology and Christology has changed over the years and how it has informed and transformed our views on racial equality in the culture and in the Church.
Simple but complex leadership principle: Effective leaders hold deep convictions and they regularly invite those convictions to be challenged by others who see the world differently.
Conversation overview: * The close relationship between Christianity and colonization contaminated our missiology and our views on race * We considered that the center of God’s activity in the world is not getting me to heaven. We began to see the Kingdom of God as the center of God’s activity rather than the programs of a local church * We wondered what it means when discipleship doesn’t lead to changing views on race or to good news for people who have been traumatized. * Paradigm shifts are painful. In the midst of the pain, God gives birth to something new. For new patterns of anti-racism to emerge, some things will have to die. * Repentance means giving up our need to be “good white people” and cleaning up our messes.
Resources: * The Gospel in A Pluralistic Society by Leslie Newbigin
* The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard
* UnChristian: What A New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity and Why It Matters by David Kinnamon and Gabe Lyons
* Jesus and the Disinherited by Howard Thurmon
Jesus of the East: Reclaiming the Gospel for the Wounded by Phuc Luu
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Trisha's friend said to her, "None of this gets better unless white people start talking to white people." This is that conversation. Jim and Trisha talk about how they were influenced to think about race, about how they have changed their perspective through the helpful feedback of others, and about how they are learning to live anti-racist lives in the present. Resources: * The podcast with Jen Hatmaker and Lisa Sharon Harper * I'm Still Here by Austin Channing Brown. * Here is a video that describes the history of racial inequality that persists into the present day
The pain related to racial injustice in the US found its voice in recent weeks and we have all been challenged to listen and learn from the experience of our Black friends and neighbors. As leaders, our challenge is to see the air we breathe and the water we swim in, then respond with empathy and action while inviting others to do the same. Our friend Pastor Johnny Gentry sat down to talk with us about his experience and blessed us with his vulnerability and courage. Pastor Johnny is lead pastor, apostle and visionary at Free Indeed Church International in Northeast Houston and he is the CEO and founder of Community Works CDC. He leads side-by-side with his wife Jenice Gentry. They have four children. We hope you'll listen in. Resources:
Visit https://www.communityworkscdc.org/ to learn more about Pastor Johnny's nonprofit, Community Works CDC, a faith-based community outreach ministry committed to At-Risk Youth, Ex-offender Re-entry and Economic Redevelopment in Northeast Houston.
More information about Pastor Johnny's church can be found at http://freeindeedchurch.org
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
The pandemic is not just about working from home and watching Netflix. It's not even just about the heightened levels of stress that almost everyone is feeling. For many, the pandemic has brought varying levels of grief and trauma, and leaders are not immune. Grief and trauma require different kinds of leadership and different kinds of self-care. Offering realistic hope looks different when people are grieving or traumatized. Minimizing the effects of grief and trauma makes things worse, not better. In this episode, Sherri Meyer-Veen and Greg Town join us to explore the ways that many are experiencing traumatic losses even if they have not been infected with Covid-19 or faced the loss of loved ones from the disease. References: * All Our Losses, All Our Griefs * Leading Beyond the Blizzard
Trauma for leaders podcast series:
- An Introduction to Trauma for Leaders Part 1
- An Introduction to Trauma for Leaders Part 2
- An Introduction to Trauma for Leaders Part 3
In this episode, John Sparks talks about a way of thinking about discipleship that is elegantly simple and comprehensive enough to align us with the example and teachings of Jesus for the abundant life. He also shares about the importance of highly effective teams in reaching our goals in our congregations and organizations.
This is the sixth and last episode in our series on our book Learning Change: Congregational Transformation Fueled by Personal Renewal. That book came out of our work with what was then known as Ridder Church Renewal and is now known as Churches Learning Change. A group of leaders in that first group came to be dear friends and also contributors to this book, describing their experience with learning to lead in new ways.
John Sparks is the Pastor of Adult Ministry at Centerpoint Church in Kalamazoo, MI. His passion is spiritual formation and discipleship along the lines of the teaching of Dallas Willard and others. John and his wife Sarita have 3 grown children.
Conversation Overview
- What is a disciple?
- What is the connection between discipleship and transformation?
- Mental model of transformation
- What role do spiritual practices play in transformation?
- Community of grace and truth
- When do we need to put a team around something?
- How do committees from thee teams we’re talking about?
Register for our upcoming webinar!
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As we continue to think about moving from crisis management to leadership, we explore how leaders are confronting “the new normal, the now normal, and the next normal.”
In our conversation with Nate Pyle, we think about how leaders can help their organizations hold on to their core identities while also making bold adaptations to a changing reality. As the pandemic continues to unfold, the only constant is change, and leaders are having to make new decisions and prepare for their organizations for what is next.
Conversation Overview
- The need for routine
- Differentiation from government and societal forces
- The push-pull of keeping the operational work going while also leaning into the adaptive demands of the crisis
- Holding on to core identity while also adapting and experimenting
- Before coronavirus, our context was changing but the pandemic has disrupted us enough to make deep change possible
- What gets us through coronavirus is what will help us get through what is after coronavirus
- Communicate widely and stay connected
- Prepare for the impact of long-standing emotional wounds after the crisis ends
About Nate Pyle:
Nate is an author, blogger and ordained pastor in the Reformed Church of America. In addition to contributing to Learning Change, Nate has written two books: Man Enough: How Jesus Redefines Manhood, and More Than You Can Handle: When Life’s Overwhelming Pain Meets God’s Overcoming Grace, Currently, Nate serves as the pastor of Christ’s Community Church in Fishers, Indiana where he lives with his wife and three children. He tweets at @natepyle79.
Source: Toni Kennedy
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Recommended Episodes:
- The Big Picture: Pandemic, Anxiety, and Society
- From Crisis Management to Leadership in a New Normal
- After the Adrenaline: Self-care in a Time of Crisis
- Leading in Uncertain Times (COVID-19)
- The Overfunctioning Trap: Learning to be responsible FOR me and TO you
- Getting From Here to There: The Power of Creative Tension
- Courage and Love with Jessica Shults and Brian Stone
- Naked and Unashamed with Chip Sauer
- Personal and Congregational Transformation with Drew Poppleton
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We've been focused on leadership in our own little part of the world but when we watch the news or see what people post on social media, we find ourselves wondering, “What is going on in the big picture?”
Maybe a better question is, “What happens to us collectively, as a society, when we go through a time like this?” What happens when we get to the 30,000-foot view?
Systems thinking can help us with this. In this episode, we laugh a lot as we talk about one of the lesser-known principles of systems theory—societal regression—as we look at the ways that our collective anxiety shows up in some patterned and predictable ways—conflict, distance, polarization, and blame. We also talk about how to be the kind of leader that our society needs right now.
Conversation Overview
- Bowen’s 8th concept of emotional process in society
- Symptoms we can see
- The vicious cycle
- Looking at ourselves—how we contribute to the reactivity and how we can respond differently
Resources:
For a short and accessible explanation of societal emotional process theory, we recommend chapter 8 of The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert.
For a deeper dive and for the information Mike referenced, you can go to: Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen (p. 279) and Family Evaluation by Michael Kerr and Murray Bowen (pp. 342-343). About Michael De Ruyter
Michael has been a Pastor for over 20 years. He attended Calvin College and Calvin Seminary (Grand Rapids, MI) and Fuller Seminary (Pasadena, CA). He is passionate about how people grow and change and how churches can walk along with someone on the journey towards a flourishing and whole life.
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Virtually all of us agree that we’re in a crisis and none of us know how long it will last. How do we prepare ourselves and our organizations for whatever is going to be normal? Leaders are beginning to make a shift from crisis management to long-term leadership toward an uncertain future. In this episode, we explore what it looks like for leaders to resist the temptation to accelerate a return to normal and instead to evaluate our mental models, imagine new possibilities and recapture our sense of mission.
Conversation Overview:
- Self-leadership
- What to do when you don't know how long a season will last
- Scenario planning
- The importance of thoughtful leadership
Here are some additional resources regarding leading in these times of uncertainty and anxiety * Leading in Uncertain Times (COVID-19) * Systems Thinking in Anxious Times * 20 Questions to Help with COVID-19 Anxiety * Practices of Calm Presence * Managing Stress by Managing Yourself
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Since the global pandemic began, the quality of leadership has soared. Leaders in families, congregations, businesses and communities have risen to the challenge, offering their very best creativity and resourcefulness.
Now, as the adrenaline begins to wear off, those same leaders are growing tired and depleted, wondering, “How do we care for ourselves so that we can care for others for the long run? How do we sustain ourselves so that we can show up for the people we love?”
We know we need to take care of ourselves. How do we do that in the middle of a crisis, when the demands are relentless? How do we find new and creative ways to sustain ourselves? How do we show ourselves the care and compassion we offer to others?
Conversation Overview:
- Self-comfort and self-care
- Practices for self-care
- How can we disrupt our autopilots?
In times of chaos, uncertainty, and conflict, calm leaders are not a luxury, they are a necessity AND you have what you need to meet the challenge.
Conversation Overview
- A mental model of leadership
- Managing our own anxiety
- How do we contribute to creating a less anxious climate?
- Thinking systems when anxiety is getting high
For additional resources regarding leading in uncertain times, check out Trisha's recent blog post "Systems Thinking in Anxious Times"
As leaders, it easy to think that we are responsible for everyone and everything. Life gets easier when we realize that we are responsible for ourselves and to others.
Conversation Overview
- Responsible FOR vs. responsible TO
- What might it look like to be responsible FOR someone or something?
- Are we responsible for other people’s feelings?
- Practice not over-functioning in a leadership role
- What are the conditions in which people are most likely to flourish?
About Michael De Ruyter
Michael has been a Pastor for over 20 years. He attended Calvin College and Calvin Seminary (Grand Rapids, MI) and Fuller Seminary (Pasadena, CA). He is passionate about how people grow and change and how churches can walk along with someone on the journey towards a flourishing and whole life.
Effective leaders mobilize people around a shared vision. But, how do we lead a group of people from here to there? And how do we even know when we’ve gotten there?
This is the fourth episode in our series on our book Learning Change: Congregational Transformation Fueled by Personal Renewal. That book came out of our work with what was then known as Ridder Church Renewal and is now known as Churches Learning Change. A group of pastors in that first group came to be dear friends and also contributors to this book, describing their experience with learning to lead in new ways.
In this episode, we talk with Nate Pyle. Nate is an author, blogger and ordained pastor in the Reformed Church of America. In addition to contributing to Learning Change, Nate has written two books: Man Enough: How Jesus Redefines Manhood, and More Than You Can Handle: When Life’s Overwhelming Pain Meets God’s Overcoming Grace, Currently, Nate serves as the pastor of Christ’s Community Church in Fishers, Indiana where he lives with his wife and three children. He tweets at @natepyle79.
Conversation Overview * Who creates a vision? * Vision vs. Emerging future * Current reality: The importance of knowing where we actually are * Embracing creative tension * Creating space to define current reality and imagining emerging future * Practicing to grow your capacity
Learning Change Series * Part 1 with Drew Poppleton * Part 2 with Chip Sauer * Part 3 with Jessica Shults and Brian Stone * Part 4 with Nate Pyle
Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
This is the third episode in our series on our book Learning Change: Congregational Transformation Fueled by Personal Renewal. That book came out of our work with what was then known as Ridder Church Renewal and is now known as Churches Learning Change. There was a group of pastors in that first group who came to be dear friends and also contributors to this book, describing their experience with learning to lead in new ways. In this episode, we talk with Jessica Shults and Brian Stone. Jessica Shults is the lead pastor of Standale Reformed Church near Grand Rapids, MI. She and her husband Matt, also a pastor at Standale, have two teenage boys. Brian Stone is in business in Kalamazoo, MI where he lives with his wife Cathy. Brian and Cathy also lead the Resilient Marriage conference and offer marriage mentoring through Blessing Ranch Ministries. They have three young adult children.
Making messes is part of being human but cleaning them up regularly helps us keep our relationships healthy and our organizations in integrity.
Conversation Overview * What does it mean to make a mess? * What is the process we use for cleaning up messes? * Why do we avoid cleaning up messes? Why is it so hard? * What about when the mess is on the other side--someone has made a mess with us? * What happens when we regularly clean up our messes? How does this transform relationships and organizations?
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Leaders who lead with authenticity waste less energy on hiding, pretending and looking good and have more energy for creative, effective leadership.
This is the second episode in our series on our book Learning Change: Congregational Transformation Fueled by Personal Renewal. That book came out of our work with what was then known as Ridder Church Renewal and is now known as Churches Learning Change. There was a group of pastors in that first group who came to be dear friends and also contributors to this book, describing their experience with learning to lead in new ways.
In this episode, we talk with Chip Sauer. Chip wrote the chapter on authenticity in our book Learning Change. Chip has been a pastor in Charlevoix, MI for more than a decade. He’s married to Alisa and they have two kids, John and Anna.
- A core value of Ridder
- Why did Chip choose the chapter title Naked and Unashamed?
- What is the cost of inauthenticity?
- What is and isn’t authenticity?
- Public, Private, Secret self
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Today's conversation with Drew Poppleton is the first in a six-part series. Drew is a pastor, a leader, a thinker and a friend. In this episode Drew, Trisha, and Jim explore how personal transformation precedes--and accompanies-- corporate transformation.
Conversation Overview:
- The number one obstacle to deep change
- Why is it important to focus on our way of being?
- Shame and the gospel
- The impact of learning to notice and address your shame
References:
- Faith Reformed Church
- Learning Change Book
Emotional intelligence is more important than IQ, technology, or strategy when it comes to mission achievement in your family, in your business, or in your community.
- Part 2
- Part 3
- Part 4
What is emotional intelligence? Drs. Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves define emotional intelligence as your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.
###### Download the episode | Subscribe on iTunes
Conversation Overview * What is emotional intelligence? * What are feelings and how do you learn to manage them? * Complicating factors that come from our first formation. * How do you grow your capacity to manage your feelings?
References * Daniel Goldman * Emotional Intelligence 2.0
Recent Episodes * The Power of Self-Compassion * Disrupting Your Autopilot * Seeing Yourself in the System * Leading Change and Managing the Resulting Anxiety
What difference does being/having a calm presence make? Why is calm presence important? And what practices have you found effective?
Conversation Overview:
- Manage your physiology
- Get curious
- Reflection questions
- Clean up messes as they happen
- Hold the tension
Living an epic life, being fully alive, doing interesting work, and pursuing authentic relationships all create stress. But stress isn't necessarily a bad thing, we have stress because things matter to us. In this episode, Jim and Trisha explore how we can manage our stress by managing ourselves.
- Difference between “distress” and “eustress”
- Too much stress and not enough stress
- Learning to manage small stressors
- When has stress gotten the upper hand?
- How do you manage stress?
Resources:
- Psychology Today article
- Book Summary
- An introduction to trauma for leaders part 1
No matter where you are going the way forward is through learning. Only leaders and organizations that are able to learn will be able to meet the challenges of our changing world.
Conversation Overview: * Practical ways to keep learning throughout life * Can deep transformational learning happen alone? * The role of coaches and mentors in the learning process * How do organizations learn?
References: * The structure of scientific revolution * Invitation to a journey * Clint Black - Wherever you go (song) * The little book of talent * Transformational learning model * Heifetz * The Fifth Discipline
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
No matter where you are going the way forward is through learning. Only leaders and organizations that are able to learn will be able to meet the challenges of our changing world.
Conversation Overview:
- We are designed to be life-long learners
- What we aren’t talking about when we talk about learning
- Adaptive leadership
- Why are we resistant to learning?
- Taking on uncomfortable things
References:
- The little book of talent
- Sheldon Learns to swim
- Transformational learning model
- Canoeing the mountains
- Heifetz
- The Fifth Discipline
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
In this conversation, Jim and Marijke discuss how important emotional intelligence is to effective leadership and Marijke shares a practice to help you increase your self-awareness.
Leadership principle: Emotional intelligence is central to effective leadership and emotional intelligence can be learned.
Conversation overview:
- Get to know our new team member Marijke Strong
- Self-awareness
- Emotional maturity
- Public, private, secret self
Reference
- Daniel Goleman
- The Importance of Emotional Intelligence Part 4: Relationship Management
- The Importance of Emotional Intelligence Part 3: Social Awareness
- The Importance of Emotional Intelligence Part 2: Self-mastery
- The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
- Churches learning change
In this conversation, Trisha and Ryan explore what it means to "do your work" and how Ryan's commitment to lean into his work has changed the trajectory of his life. Thanks for listening!
If you are looking for coaching and think Ryan would be a good fit for you, you can reach out using the Get Coachingform and selecting Ryan as your preferred coach.
Conversation overview:
- Get to know our new team member Ryan Donovan
- Doing the work
- The mind-body connection
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Leaders lead by shaping conversation and in particular, conversation as an adaptive leadership skill. In this episode, we dive deeper into the practice of shaping conversations looking at three more advanced approaches.
If you haven't heard part 1 of this 2 part series, you can find that here.
Conversation Overview 1. Crucial conversations: What principle of crucial conversations do you practice regularly in a way that makes a difference?
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Transformation conversations: What is a transformation conversation and how do we use them?
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Creating containers for conversations: What is a container? How do we create them?
References * Crucial Conversations * Vital Smarts website * Faithwalking * Learning Change
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Change happens at the speed of dialogue. Whether we’re trying to lead congregations or businesses or families, we can only move as fast as our conversations. The quality of our conversations reflects the quality of our leadership.
- How do we do this? What does this mean?
- What happens when leaders don’t take responsibility to shape conversation?
- What basic skills do we need to develop?
- Looking ahead to part 2
If you’re looking for a coach or a consultant or if you’d like to give us feedback, we’re online at theleadersjourney.us and on Facebook at The Leader’s Journey. Let us know if you have questions about coaching or consulting—we’d love to work with you
We get in our own way when we act out of the autopilot that was programmed in our early lives--and we can re-program that autopilot with self-awareness and practice.
Conversation Overview * True self and false self * We all have needs and we all have wounds * Meaning making * How do we learn to see ourselves? * How do we reprogram the autopilot?
Reference * Faithwalking * Learning Change
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
In this episode, Jim and Trisha welcome Dr. R. Robert Creech to the podcast to discuss family systems and his newest book "Family Systems and Congregational Life."
Links:
- Robert's Bio
- Family Systems and Congregational Life
- The book we wrote with Robert
- Ethics for Christian Ministry: Moral Formation for Twenty-First-Century Leaders by Robert Creech & Joel Trull
- The Cornerstone Concept (Extraordinary Leadership Seminar Trilogy Book 3): A book that Robert has a chapter in--it's a great resource for leaders and also has his chapter on Jesus and Differentiation of self
- Bowen Center
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Working with a coach is one of the single most important things a leader can do to reach their goals, to be more effective overall, and to create a more workable and more meaningful life.
Conversation Overview * What is coaching * Coaching vs Counseling * Coaching vs Spiritual Direction * Why would someone need/want a coach? * What to expect * How can someone receiving coaching get the most out of it?
Resources * Hebbian theory – Wikipedia * Coaching with the Brain in Mind: Foundations for Practice
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Leadership can be energizing and life-giving; it can also leave us depleted, exhausted and discouraged. The good news is that we can choose practices that help us to sustain our energy and our satisfaction in the work we do.
Conversation Overview * What signals to you that you’re getting to the edge of burnout? * What principles do you personally live by that help you stay resilient and avoid burnout? * The dangers of perfectionism * Importance of disrupting the autopilot * How do we lead in such a way that helps others to stay healthy, to take care of themselves?
Resources * https://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2017/11/this-is-what-self-care-really-means-because-its-not-all-salt-baths-and-chocolate-cake/ * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enneagram_of_Personality * https://brenebrown.com/blog/2018/05/24/the-midlife-unraveling/ * https://sarahbessey.com/ * https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Developmental-Trauma-Self-Regulation-Relationship/dp/1583944893
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Getting feedback helps us to know what we don't know that we don't know–it fills in our blind spots and makes us better... except when it doesn't. Giving and receiving feedback is more important than it seems and more difficult than it looks.
Conversation Overview:
- How can we get better at receiving feedback?
- Why is it so challenging to give feedback?
- What does it look like to have an organizational culture of giving and receiving important feedback?
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Build communities of truth and safety. Trauma is real and leaders who understand the effects of trauma in their own lives and in the lives of others are less likely to be sabotaged by trauma and are more likely to lead in ways that turn out to be healthy and life-giving.
Conversation Overview
- Learn to listen
- Encourage authenticity
- Learn from survivors
- "Caring for" vs "Taking care of"
- Offer a safe place
- Medicines
Resources: * The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog * The Body Keeps the Score * Healing Developmental Trauma * Adverse Childhood Experiences Study – Wikipedia * Take The ACE Quiz – NPR * How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime [video] * An Everyone Culture
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
A person’s brain is different after trauma. In order to deal with the traumatic experience, the brain recalibrates, creating a new default setting. In this episode, we discuss how trauma changes us, what it looks like from the inside, and what it looks like from the outside. We hope you find this episode helpful. Thanks for listening.
Trauma is real and leaders who understand the effects of trauma in their own lives and in the lives of others are less likely to be sabotaged by trauma and are more likely to lead in ways that turn out to be healthy and life-giving.
Conversation Overview: * Trauma changes us * Learned helplessness * Nature vs. nurture * Looking at trauma from the inside * Looking at trauma from the outside
Resources: * The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog * The Body Keeps the Score * Healing Developmental Trauma * Adverse Childhood Experiences Study – Wikipedia * Take The ACE Quiz – NPR * How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime [vide0]
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Trauma is real and leaders who understand the effects of trauma in their own lives and in the lives of others are less likely to be sabotaged by trauma and are more likely to lead in ways that turn out to be healthy and life-giving.
Conversation Overview:
- Trauma and leadership
- Trauma can hinder and stimulate growth
- Unaddressed trauma in leaders is dangerous
- How do we access trauma
- Experiencing other people’s trauma
- Leader’s ourselves are often survivors of trauma and all leaders are leading survivors of trauma
- The past is always present
- Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that overwhelms a persons ability to cope
Resources:
- The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog
- The Body Keeps the Score
- Healing Developmental Trauma
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Effective leaders set growth goals that focus on disrupting habits and utilizing the power of systems.
In this conversation, Jim and Trisha explore growth goals like New Year's resolutions, what might be preventing us from seeing the lasting results we envision when we set them, and what we can do differently to get better results. Thanks for listening and we hope this episode is helpful.
Conversation Overview * New Year's resolutions * 2 reasons we fail to reach, or even bother setting growth goals * Disrupting habits * Disempowering beliefs * Harnessing the power of systems
References * “All our life, so far as it has definite form, is but a mass of habits.” ― William James * The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg
Series on Emotional Intelligence * The Importance of Emotional Intelligence Part 4: Relationship Management * The Importance of Emotional Intelligence Part 3: Social Awareness * The Importance of Emotional Intelligence Part 2: Self-mastery * The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
In many ways, 2018 has been a great year. We formally launched this business in April, we started this podcast around that same time, and we've had the privilege of working with leaders from churches, schools, nonprofits, and businesses. In this episode, we look back on the year and take a moment to share some of the resources and practices that have been helping us grow. Thank you for joining us on this journey!
References * Margaret Wheatley * Drew Poppleton * The Christian Imagination: Theology and the Origins of Race * State Of The Church In The City * The End of Leadership * Jen Hatmaker & Lisa Sharon Harper on the For the Love of Exploring Our Faith podcast * I’m still here by Austin Channing Brown * The Argument - NY Times podcast * Pantsuit Politics podcast * The Power of Habit * The Leader’s Journey * The Vulnerable Pastor: How Human Limitations Empower Our Ministry
If you enjoy listening to The Leader’s Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
The ability to handle our own and others’ emotions in a way that facilitates relationships is the super-power of leadership.
This is part three of our four-part series on emotional intelligence. In part one we discussed self-awareness, in part two self-mastery, in part three social awareness, and in this episode, we discussed relationship management. Thanks for listening!
Conversation Overview * The importance of self-awareness * Examples of relationship management * Role of relationship management in teams * How we can grow our capacity for relationship management
References * The Importance of Emotional Intelligence Part 3: Social Awareness * The Speed of Trust by Stephen Covey * The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni
Recent Episodes * The Importance of Emotional Intelligence Part 3: Social Awareness * The Importance of Emotional Intelligence Part 2: Self-mastery * The Importance of Emotional Intelligence * The Power of Self-Compassion * Disrupting Your Autopilot * Seeing Yourself in the System * Leading Change and Managing the Resulting Anxiety
If you enjoy listening to The Leader's Journey Podcast, the best way to support the show is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!
Being emotionally attuned to others is essential to every aspect of leadership.
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Conversation Overview * Cognitive empathy vs. emotional empathy * How social awareness builds on self-awareness * Is it possible to be too attuned to others? * Stereotypes and social expectations
References * How to Avoid Social Backlash in the Workplace * I Used to Insist I Didn’t Get Angry. Not Anymore. * Primal Leadership, Goleman
Recent Episodes * The Importance of Emotional Intelligence Part 2: Self-mastery * The Importance of Emotional Intelligence * The Power of Self-Compassion * Disrupting Your Autopilot * Seeing Yourself in the System * Leading Change and Managing the Resulting Anxiety
Growing your emotional intelligence means growing your ability to choose what you say and do–because of and in spite of your emotions.
Self-management is your ability to choose what you say and do based on your awareness of your emotions (Bradberry and Greaves). To understand self-mastery, we have to go back over the role of feelings—to give us information and to help us know when to pay attention and what to pay attention to.
Conversation Overview * “Emotion” means “to move” * It is important to feel the whole range of human emotion * Advantages of self-management * Aspects of emotional intelligence related to self-mastery * Growing our self-mastery
References * Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Bradberry and Greaves * Daniel Goleman * Standford Marshmallow Experiment * 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
Recent Episodes * The Importance of Emotional Intelligence * The Power of Self-Compassion * Disrupting Your Autopilot * Seeing Yourself in the System * Leading Change and Managing the Resulting Anxiety
Emotional intelligence is more important than IQ, technology, or strategy when it comes to mission achievement in your family, in your business, or in your community.
In our last podcast, we talked about the importance of disrupting our autopilot when it comes to change. In that episode, we mentioned the crucial importance of self-compassion as part of that process. We’re both really committed to self-compassion as an indispensable part of leadership and change. We don’t see it as an add-on or a luxury or a good idea; we believe that it’s central to how we engage as leaders—with ourselves and with others. In this episode, we talk about why we think this is so important to leadership and how we can practice it in life-changing ways.
Conversation Overview * Fears about self-compassion * What research shows us * Self-compassion vs self-esteem * How to grow our self-compassion or self-kindness
References * Brene Brown * Kristin Neff
Recent Episodes * Disrupting Your Autopilot * Seeing Yourself in the System * Leading Change and Managing the Resulting Anxiety
Change is not just a set of ideas, deep desire, or good intentions. It is a set of practices and in this episode, we explore some of those practices.
Conversation Overview * Identifying the behavior you want to change * Identify the impact on you and on those around you * Give your word to yourself and a few trusted colleagues that you are going to change your behavior * Reflect: Learn to see it in the rearview mirror * Clean up the messes * Celebrate the wins and have self-compassion
In the last podcast, we talked about how leaders do two things - they lead toward a vision and they manage the anxiety that shows up as they work to get deep commitment to that shared vision. In this episode we are going to dig a little deeper into the second part of that conversation - leaders managing anxiety in the face of the pursuit of a vision.
- Effective leaders learn to notice anxiety and see patterned ways they (and others) express it.
- Leaders work on seeing self – without shame or blame – as part of our humanity.
- Leaders give others the same gift – seeing their reactivity as part of their humanity without shaming or blaming or taking things personally.
- Leaders learn to see self in the system in real time and to, when possible, disrupt those patterns and learn new ways of being.
Leaders both lead change and manage the resulting anxiety in order to get commitment to a shared vision.
- Leadership is in part about helping the church to care about vision, mission, purpose. (example: Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Jesus)
- When leaders attempt to help the congregation set and pursue a direction, the process of change creates anxiety.
- Leaders have to learn two skills and exercise them simultaneously - the first skill is that of achieving the mission and the second is managing self in the anxiety that mission achievement produces.
- To fully understand how leadership functions, you must understand that it takes place within a living system.
- What is a living system?
- Differences of opinion feel threatening and left to our natural reactions, we will react in anxiety.
- What does it mean to manage yourself in an anxious system?
When we first started coaching leaders we gave almost exclusive attention to teaching individual leaders the principles of organizational change. At first, we saw some positive changes, but when we tracked the results over time, we discovered that when we as coaches pulled out of the process, the process stalled - and sometimes it devolved into destructive conflict.
As we tried to remain curious, we were convinced that leaders needed to know the principles of organizational change, but what also became clear is that this was not enough. What is also needed is the personal
transformation of the leader. That goes back to what you were saying earlier: it’s the individual and the organization; it’s the being and the doing.