A Better Father: Recent Episodes
A Better Father
I am a single father. A vegan for health, environment and animal safety reasons. I read, write, podcast and blog to be a better person and a better father (huh?huh?). Follow me in my journey as this life gets lived moment by moment, day by day. You are not alone. Even though we all feel it from time to time, that's okay. Come here and know you are not alone.
Approach parenting as a business, make unemotional choices. save emotion for good mornings, bedtimes, birthdays, every day things, until something happens that needs to be solved. Then emotion
needs to be pushed aside and unemotional, business minded problem solving needs to be the approach.
We won't always have a good reaction, but we can have a better reaction to our poor action.
S - Self
E- Example
R - Response
We get told it's the hardest job in the world. that's an excuse and a crappy way to not take responsibility.
Your past self could have been better if you knew what you know today. Look back, think back, know you couldn't have done any better, because you were a child, BUT you can take those lessons to be a better parent today.
Don't hinder their curiosity, allow it to grow.
If you want them to talk, you have to talk. They can't respond to nothing. Prompt them and know when to stop and start listening.
Jennifer Wallace: Never Enough:
https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/about-never-enough
Glennon Doyle: Untamed
https://untamedbook.com/
Dr. William Stixrud & Ned Johnson: The Self-Driven Child
https://theselfdrivenchild.com/
’m not saying this is how it should be. It’s a thought experiment of possibilities.
Leo Tolstoy: A Calendar of Wisdom: Daily Thoughts to Nourish the Soul, Written and Selected from the World's Sacred Texts
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/calendar-of-wisdom-leo-tolstoy/1100574479?ean=9780684837932
People are attracted to people that excite them and engage with them. Be your better self and you'll get noticed.
Pick the values that matter most to you. Pick the things you really hope your child learns from you. Then use those to have conversations, not all the other noise that we (you) think needs to be said that is getting filter out through all the other noise.
What is your routine that just may be the best part of their day.
I’m not saying this is how it should be. It’s a thought experiment for how it could be.
This was a thought unload, with random thoughts, feelings and phone usage with our children. Agree, disagree, we are all trying, I know, but we can do better (in my humble opinion).
This episode inspire by Gretchen Rubin: Life in Five Senses: https://gretchenrubin.com/books/life-in-five-senses/
Prepare your kids for when it comes, because no matter what it is the one thing that will, for sure, positively happen in their lives.
As they change and deal with the differences between two houses, or two differing view points, stay consistent and be true to your values. It will pay off as they grow and develop. This will also help you as you grow and develop. :)
What does memento mori really mean? How does it really impact our lives, our choices, our children?
Think Slow/Getting Angry Doesn't Help/Remember Your Reason for Doing This/Remember Your Reason for Being Here
Calm / Patient / Kind / Understanding
The Daily Drucker is referenced in this episode.
As well as Austin Kleon.
Focus on your kid's strengths and help them to grow in what they want to grow with.
Books referenced in this podcast:
Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman
The Daily Drucker by Peter Drucker
Stolen Focus by Johann Hari
Mentioned in this podcast: Daily Drucker (https://bookoutlet.com/products/9780060742447B/the-daily-drucker-366-days-of-insight-and-motivation-for-getting-the-right-things-done?gclid=CjwKCAjw586hBhBrEiwAQYEnHXrk2oSOy0wRWOIcgh6koEQNr1o7nKEok_-rZKUL5pe6X5LrmBCb3RoC5aEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)
And Neil Pasricha (https://www.3books.co/)
Nita Farahany - The Battle for Your Brain: https://www.nitafarahany.com
Manoush Zomorodi - Bored and Brilliant: http://www.manoushz.com/book
As Always: A Carrot A Day: https://www.publishersweekly.com/9781586855062; https://www.leadershipnow.com/leadershop/9781439149171.html
Pivot Podcast. A Carrot a Day book. Thoughts on how to talk with your child. Don't ask bad questions. Look up information before you quote what you don't know. Find a rhythm to be able to create what you want to create.
A Carrot A Day by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton. Referenced for today's podcast from Feb 15th entry.
Let's learn to not punish our children's mistakes, but reward them. Let them learn, let them grow, let them explore to be more.
A Carrot A Day by Adrian Gnostic and Chester Elton
The Daily Laws by Robert Greene
Today's episode is a pulled quote from: A Calendar of Wisdom by Leo Tolstoy... a great daily read.
What traditions do you have? Are they good? Bad? Are they holding you back and keeping you from creating memories of your own?
Reflecting during this past holiday season I finally come to understand a very important thing about my father.
Talk to your parents. Get to them. Learn who they were.
Tall to your child. Share stories of who you are. Let them learn who you are and let them get to know you. Not as a parent, but as a person.
Book referenced in this podcast:
How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes
https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/how-to-raise-kids-who-arent-assholes/
When they tell you who they are, it's time to follow. Teach them to lead by following. Communicate to them they are building a foundation. Explain what this means. Enforce their choice for self. Help build that autonomy and confidence, by stepping back. Then do what they are telling you they want you to do.
Bruce Springsteen: “We are ghosts or we are ancestors in our children’s lives. We either lay our mistakes and our burdens upon them, and we haunt them as ghosts. Or, we assist them in laying those old burdens down, and we free them from the chains of our own flawed behavior, and as ancestors, we walk alongside of them, assisting them to find their own way, and some sense of transcendence.”
https://rosslester.com/2020/02/13/ghosts-or-ancestors/
Cait Flanders: The Year of Less; https://www.caitflanders.com/the-year-of-less
Scott Galloway Website; https://www.profgalloway.com
Richard Reeves: https://richardvreeves.com/books/
The Daily Stoic. Be a Poll Worker. Be a Big Brother Big Sister. It's actually not that hard to participate in our Democracy.
Thank you for listening. A ramble of thoughts inspired by a quote from Oct 18th in the book listed below.
A Calendar of Wisdom: Daily Thoughts to Nourish the Soul, Written and Selected from the World's Sacred Texts: https://www.thepaintedporch.com/products/selfhelp5?_pos=1&_sid=3adfdd8dd&_ss=r
Things referenced in this podcast:
Pivot Podcast - https://podcasts.voxmedia.com/show/pivot
Scott Galloway - https://profgmedia.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjw7eSZBhB8EiwA60kCW0TkklXV5jB1aoTVzWy5_rRC3Xa7AQlf45E-UExb2GlL08mPfylwABoCyI8QAvD_BwE
What happens when you find an old something, that was suppose to mean something, years after you thought it was gone?
Can you learn anything from it? Is there a take away, or just another eBay sale?
https://dailydad.com
Marcus Aurelius, borrowing from Epictetus, tells us that… As you kiss your son good night, whisper to yourself, “He may be dead in the morning.” Don't tempt fate, you say. By talking about a natural event? Is fate tempted when we speak of grain being reaped?
Not if they may be, if you may be.
Your child will ride when they are reading. It's how you are spending that teaching / learning time with them that matters
Words matter. Less words matter more. They will be more likely to hear you and understand you. You'll be less likely to say something wrong or stupid.
Positively Introverted by Maureen Wilson:
https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/positively-introverted-finding-your-way-in-a-world-full-of-people_maureen-marzi-wilson/28968368/#edition=60114772&idiq=47183789
My daughter calls me out on how I respond to her art work. It creates a great conversation and lesson for both.
It's been a minute, but I'm back for Season 3 Episode 1. Thank you for joining, finding, waiting and or listening. I'll be weekly again... hopefully... mostly
What really caused the outcomes of the famous marshmallow test?
No Stupid Questions Podcast: https://freakonomics.com/nsq/
The Marshmallow Test: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment
Next time you talk with a child and ask them what their favorite blank is don't ask them about something with a screen. Make it about a book or activity that requires not a screen.
Ronald Dahl's TV Poem
https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/television/
No matter what happens today, or how it goes getting ready and getting out the door. Say "it's okay".
Ask your child if they will give you a high five today. Do it once. Do it twice. Make the connection and see how it goes.
A very excited book review of Teaching Artfully and reading highlights from the book. In relation to teaching and parenting. There are more than a few good things to process and learn from this.
Teaching Artfully by Meghan Parker: https://womenwriteaboutcomics.com/2021/04/teaching-artfully-review/
Brooklyn Art Library: https://brooklynartlibrary.org
Take a walk. Don't loose your temper. Find a way to add positively to a situation with your children. Not punish and take away.
https://nextbigideaclub.com/magazine/child-breakthrough-method-bringing-authentic-self-bookbite/26395/
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/6367/meditations-by-marcus-aurelius/
The Extended Mind Annie Murphy Paul: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/11/books/review/the-extended-mind-annie-murphy-paul.html
Extended Mind The Power Thinking Outside The Brain: https://www.abebooks.com/Extended-Mind-Power-Thinking-Outside-Brain/31026524642/bd?cm_mmc=ggl-_-US_Shopp_Trade-_-product_id=COM9780544947665USED-_-keyword=&gclid=CjwKCAjwwsmLBhACEiwANq-tXJ5msL3XoWN1OAfAxzWsBjCj2OYpDsJ2ChpexINAc0a_gC0DselgfhoCA6MQAvD_BwE
What does it mean to have power? What does it mean to exert power? Do we have power over our children?
Power: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/power
Elton John - Healing Hands: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImP5gvqFrnA
Lessen the distance, close the space between you and your child. Even when it's not bad, or negative or for a purpose. Space matters. Be with them. Be in their space.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Searching_for_Bobby_Fischer
When you get on the wrong track. When you get in your own way. You just have to ask, "What is it I really want from this moment?"
What image do you have your parents? What image are you leaving your kids?
The article referenced about Facebook: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/21/technology/zuckerberg-facebook-project-amplify.html
Pivot was mentioned: https://podcasts.voxmedia.com/show/pivot
Cal Newport: https://www.calnewport.com
Ryan Holiday: https://ryanholiday.net
Podcasts mentioned in this episode:
https://www.humanetech.com/podcast
https://podcasts.voxmedia.com/show/pivot Kara: do you want tech raising your kids?
https://www.3books.co The greatest graphics processor of all time is a child's imagination.
Moxie: https://embodied.com/products/buy-moxie-robot
4,000 Weeks: https://www.oliverburkeman.com/books
Sharing some thoughts on a little rant on a stupid robot. Also, an eye opening understanding I've got less than 2000 weeks left to live.
50 Episodes in Season 2. That's pretty freaking great.
Thank you for listening and following on this adventure as we navigate and wax poetic about working towards and trying to be better parents.
Your time is appreciated.
Here is an article talking about how trees can and do talk with one another.
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/05/04/993430007/trees-talk-to-each-other-mother-tree-ecologist-hears-lessons-for-people-too
Follow-up to preparing to own a new car and how I viewed, let that affect my daughter's first interactions with it.
Our children are people. Treat them that way. My car broke. I need a new computer. This is life. Good.
Jocko, Good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdTMDpizis8
Setting down. Picking up. All the Colors Came Out, by Kate Fagan
http://www.bykatefagan.com/all-the-colors-came-out
This episode is all about The Code Breaker and a single book that changed humanity.
The Code Breaker; Jennifer Doudna, Gene Editing, and the Future of the Human Race; By: Walter Isaacson
https://www.audible.com/ep/title/?asin=179711705X&source_code=GO1GB12609141890JG&device=d&cvosrc=ppc.google.code%20breaker%20walter%20isaacson&cvo_campaign=1679154423&cvo_crid=518393734014&Matchtype=e&gclid=Cj0KCQjw24qHBhCnARIsAPbdtlLzDNT-LWm49oh_v0QOGhoSwSAuoJ_UTZUTmGAZzr9YE8XjWShPe98aAnotEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
I never regretted going for a run. Slippers are my secret pleasure. What's yours? Treat yourself. Thank you for listening.
Read my blog at abetterfather.com
Things referenced in this episode:
Kids who grow-up with books in their house perform better: https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/559956/new-study-confirms-growing-home-filled-books-good-you
Saturday Night Live Episode: https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/nicotrel/2870491
Daniel Kahneman: The Noise; https://scholar.princeton.edu/kahneman/home
Read my blog at: abetterfather.com
Thank you for listening.
I take my daughter camping. Lessons learned. Nature vs nurture. We discuss parenting in a divorce, the heartbreak of the first pick-up. The not heartbreak 6 hours after the first pick-up. Waxing poetic about birds and trying to get some sleep.
A nice ramble and thoughts on life.
The May 31, 2021 Daily Dad Podcast didn't sit well with me, but it had a profound affect on the entirety of my day. Listen to find out why in today's episode.
Mentioned in this podcast: https://dailydad.com
And an article from fatherly.com: https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/science-why-kids-need-early-bedtimes/?utm_source=postup&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=92200&recip_id=52267
Listening to Shannon Lee's book on a run inspires all kind of thoughts and reflections. You get to be a part of those by listening to this podcast. Thank you for listening. You can follow my writing at abetterfather.com. I appreciate you checking this out. Hopefully, it helps.
Be Water, My Friend, by Shannon Lee - https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwif1M7jmevwAhXuH60GHSc_AGEYABAMGgJwdg&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESQOD2sN5Z0EWus3D-8SoBeQIchQQFYnmcYtKbCSfB7lzCrkZ6co5LscTQKv9lF52JvN68BMFygyGWqUELSalcWJ4&sig=AOD64_1dg6tWXbOaCGxm7JzIiFZCbCbEsg&q&adurl&ved=2ahUKEwiy87zjmevwAhVUHs0KHXPEA-8Q0Qx6BAgCEAE
The Daily Stoic Podcast, Interview with Candice Millard - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/author-candice-millard-on-moments-that-define-great/id1430315931?i=1000523140647
Deep Work by Cal Newport - https://www.calnewport.com/books/deep-work/
When you child is picked up and you won't see them for a few days, just know it's going to hurt. We watch our children go again, and again, and again, and again. Over and over and over. It's having your heart removed multiple times a week and it sucks.
Running makes my mind wander, see title. Ran out of stories to tell my daughter about my childhood. So, we talk about what i wish people had taught me when i was her age. Good conversation, a sweet follow-up.
Referenced in this podcast:
Shannon Lee: Be Like Water My Friend (https://shop.brucelee.com/product/XLAM1009/be-water-my-friend-the-teachings-of-bruce-lee-by-shannon-lee&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=google-shopping&src=GPPC_PA_XLAM1009?gclid=Cj0KCQjwwLKFBhDPARIsAPzPi-Itt939ZS_RkEiI4gnjzA34YjGVbt5WdJtexB3MOVMNmRvZjvcOmx4aAhtlEALw_wcB)
Cal Newport: Deep Work (https://www.calnewport.com/books/deep-work/)
Another great rambling session about learning how to be a better father. About finding moments to pay better attention. About recognizing opportunities to not say anything at all.
Mentioned in this episode:
https://www.amazon.com/Berenstain-Bears-Bully-Stan/dp/0679848053
https://dailydad.com/the-daily-dad-podcast-has-officially-launched/
Tim Ferriss: Tribe of Mentors Audiobook: https://www.audible.com/pd/Tribe-of-Mentors-Audiobook/B082VK89T8?qid=1621392288&sr=1-1&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1&pf_rd_p=83218cca-c308-412f-bfcf-90198b687a2f&pf_rd_r=692MQ39T7D9MNHQXG4AQ
The work helps you be grateful when you need it most. Do, the work, have the tools when you need them.
Mentioned in this podcast:
Atomic Habits book - https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits
Waking Up Meditation App - https://wakingup.com/?_ga=2.226995357.1606653645.1620697255-324747283.1620697255
Chatter book - https://www.ethankross.com/chatter/
Understanding the brain is key to raising children. Understanding motivations and how we are "hooked" on food, will help us to better raise our kids. Believe it or not.
Hooked by Michael Moss - https://www.mossbooks.us
Think of a time you persevered. Give yourself credit for it. Take a minute to commend yourself for what you did, what you've done and that you did it at all.
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-5-minute-stoicism-journal-matthew-van-natta/1133399709?ean=9781641527484
Thank you for listening to my podcast. I hope you are getting a little something from my ramble and thoughts. Check out abetterfather.com for lots of thoughts on just about anything and everything, written super well. :)
Lots of things were referenced in this week's episode. Apologies if i missed linking to anything.
Today is about leaving a book around for your kids, or yourself to find. Make it something you want them to learn about. You'll be surprise the influence you can have, by doing nearly nothing at all.
https://armchairexpertpod.com/pods/michael-moss; https://www.mossbooks.us; https://brenebrown.com; https://vegnews.com/; https://www.eatingwell.com/article/290525/eatingwell-magazine-current-issue/; Drawn to Sex: The Basics - https://onipress.com/products/drawn-to-sex-the-basics; Oh Joy Sex Toy: https://onipress.com/products/oh-joy-sex-toy-volume-4?pr_prod_strat=copurchase&pr_rec_pid=348411723808&pr_ref_pid=1894243074159&pr_seq=uniform
A link the to the Stoic Journal mentioned in this podcast.
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-5-minute-stoicism-journal-matthew-van-natta/1133399709?ean=9781641527484
You never know who is watching. Do your best to be good and act good. It could help make someone a better father. You never know.
The book referenced in this episode: https://www.pennycandybooks.com/shop/brico
Thank you for listening and check out abetterfather.com. It's where i blog nearly daily and it's pretty gosh darn good.
Why are were we taught the things and ways we were? Why are we making it worse for our children?
Things mentioned in the podcast:
Work by James Suzman: https://www.fromthebush.com
Think Again by Adam Grant: https://www.adamgrant.net/
Keep Sharp by Sanjay Gupta: https://twitter.com/drsanjaygupta
Daily Dad Podcast: https://dailydad.com
abetterfather.com my site where i write
A question my daughter asks while brushing teeth. It leads to a great conversation and a podcast episode.
These are the things referenced in the podcast:
https://brenebrown.com
https://dailydad.com
https://www.richroll.com/podcast/team-sherzai-589/
Did you know i can sing like Tom Petty? Neither did i.
Thank you for listening.
Any thoughts or feedback you can email me at: abetterfather@gmail.com
Please visit my blog at abetterfather.com There's some good work happening there. At least that's what i've said. :)
A talk about a slight refocus going forward for the podcast. Over 100 episodes. Very cool. It's not about how many people listen (please listen and share). It's about doing the work.
Read more, nearly daily, at abetterfather.com
Today I reference: Adam Grant (Think Again) and James Clear (Atomic Habits).
It should have been mentioned before today, but I found the song played before and after the start of this podcast at: https://freemusicarchive.org/genre/Choral_Music. Specifically: Scott Holmes Music; Epic Cinemati; Cinematic Background Music
Inspired by a morning walk. Not listening to anything. Coffee in hand. Chilly, but not to cold. Allowing my mind to wander and think. This is the end result. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. I hope you are doing well.
abetterfather.com - This is where I do my nearly daily writing.
Adam Grant influenced this follow up from his book Think Again, The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know.
https://www.adamgrant.net
I didn't like how I was thinking and talking in Episode 21. I kept reading Adam's book and it started to give me context and structure to what I was trying to say and what I was trying to get at. Please, enjoy this follow up, learn and breakdown from Episode 21 where I explain myself. :)
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
Adam Grant; Think Again: https://www.adamgrant.net
What influences you? What moves you forward? Why do you act the way you act? Can you change it? Adjust it? Influence it? What about our children? What impact are you having? What is your influence? It's good to think about the impact you are having on your children. It's good to stop and process what they are learning from what you are doing. Know they are watching. Know they are listening. Know they are taking it in. This is a reminder to think about... influence.
My apologies for being late on this episode. You'll learn why in the episode. It's about learning as a parent. So, very appropriate for the focus of this podcast.
Well, I threw out a random "fact" on hemorrhoids. Yup, it's true: https://www.healthline.com/health/phone-toilet-health-risks ; https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT03444389
Cal Newport: https://www.calnewport.com
James Clear (Atomic Habits): https://jamesclear.com
Also, check out: abetterfather.com; where blog nearly daily.
I say the wrong episode at the beginning. Episode 18 was an inspired moment this past weekend.
This is episode 19 inspired by three paragraphs in "this one wild and precious life" by Sarah Wilson:
https://www.sarahwilson.com
It's been an amazing read and highly recommended to check it out.
Thank you for listening. Posted. Not Perfect. From a Vegan Father trying to navigate a non-vegan world.
Whatever it is you want to do that's holding you back, you have permission. Write. Draw. Create. Read. Say hello to a stranger. Splurge on a coffee, a treat, a whatever. It's okay. Just do it.
Links to things referenced in this podcast:
https://www.sarahwilson.com
https://www.sarahwilson.com/this-one-wild-and-precious-life/
https://seths.blog
https://dailystoic.com
Finsihed up the Daily Stoic 21 Day Challenge. New Year, New You.
Day 20: Make Your End Of Life Arrangements; Day 21: Write Down Your Mistakes From 2020. Burn The List
I also reference Humble the Poet's book on Audible: Unlearn; https://www.audible.com/pd/Unlearn-Audiobook/0062906321?qid=1611752039&sr=1-1&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1&pf_rd_p=83218cca-c308-412f-bfcf-90198b687a2f&pf_rd_r=367QJZBF34BBNY3HWW3G
https://www.humblethepoet.com
Thank you for listening and being next to me.
Day 19: Find Your 2021 Accountability Partner
First, find a place to find a person to be able to hold you accountable. :)
Day 18: Stand Up To Something or Someone Bad
“The upright and honest man corrects the wrongs of Fortune, and softens hardship and bitterness because he knows how to endure them; he likewise accepts prosperity with appreciation and moderation, and stands up against trouble with steadiness and courage.” — Seneca, Letters From A Stoic, 98.3
From the Daily Stoic (dailystoic.com); New Year, New You Challenge.
Day 17: Make Amends With Someone You’re Holding A Grudge Against
dailystoic.com
jamesclear.com
https://seths.blog/page/2/
According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, the anger from holding on to grudges is like being in a chronic fight-or-flight mode. It disrupts your immune system, increases blood pressure, increases the risk of depression, as well as levels of anxiety and stress.
In a study published in the Journal of Health Psychology, a team of psychologists tested the relationship between forgiveness and psychological well-being. Study participants had similar levels of accumulated lifetime stress. Surprisingly, for participants with higher levels of forgiveness, their high levels of stress did not impact their mental health. As one of the researchers said of the finding, "We thought forgiveness would knock something off the relationship [between stress and psychological distress], but we didn't expect it to zero it out.”
Copied from the Daily Stoic New Year, New You Challenge 2021
This all comes from: https://dailystoic.com
Current reading and referenced in this podcast; Atomic Habits: https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits
Look in the mirror, what is your worst vice? This isn't easy to do and it's a moving target. Writing down thoughts and talking through what it might be helps. Be honest, look at your actions, look around your home, look at your bank statements. For me, that made it easier to locate.
“We advise a man to regard his friends as highly as himself, to reflect that an enemy may become a friend, to stimulate love in the friend, and to check hatred in the enemy.” — Seneca, Letters From A Stoic, 95.63
Day 15: Take 1 Thing Off Your Plate
Some times to take away, you need to add. I've added a todo list to take away many things physical and mental that were taking up time. Distractions unneeded. Focus on what's important. Stop using so much time and energy filling your mind with something you can just write down. Build the habit of looking at this list and stop trying to remember the list.
https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits
https://dailystoic.com
“Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, “Is this necessary?” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.24
The first 14 days of the Daily Stoic Challenge in summary. I'll be doing this daily for the next seven days. Always a day behind with thoughts and notes on the challenge from the previous day. So, tomorrow will be day 15. (There were some computer issues, that I believe were resolved. So, if you have a bump, or issue, my apologize. I believe it has been corrected.)
Mentioned in this episode and things I'm focusing on for the individual challenges:
Rupi Kaur (https://rupikaur.com)
Cal Newport (https://www.calnewport.com)
If... Then (https://www.thelastarchive.com)
Teaching to Transgress: Education as the Practice of Freedom (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27091.Teaching_to_Transgress)
The Challenges:
Day 1: Write Down Everything That Gives You Hope For 2021
Day 2: Stop A Backslide. Pick An Abandoned Resolution Back Up
Day 3: Unplug: Spend The Day On Airplane Mode
Day 4: Double Down. Pick The Best Change You Made In 2020 And Push Further
Day 5: Empower 3 People To Give You Honest Feedback
Day 6: Join A Club Or Community
Day 7: Review Your Worst Day Of 2020
Day 8: Take A 1 Hour Walk. Recall What You See
Day 9: Pick A Hard Thing To Tackle This Year. Take Your First Step Today.
Day 10: Put Up A Statue Of Someone You Want To Be Like
Day 11: Inflict A Hardship on Yourself
Day 12: Pick 1 Author. Read Everything They’ve Written This Year. Start Right Now
Day 13: Set A Bedtime & End of Day Routine
Day 14: Watch Or Read Something About A Topic You Know Nothing About
What about Education? Can we be better, can we get better being in exile? Depends on you. There are always choices. "We can't choose what happens to us. We can only choose our reaction."
Rupi Kaur. All three of her poetry books. Buy them. They may (and should) change your life: https://rupikaur.com
And again: The Daily Stoic. Lives of the Stoics. I'm almost done, then you can hear me talk about another book. :) https://store.dailystoic.com/collections/signed-books/products/lives-of-the-stoics-signed-edition
Thank you for listening. Thank you for being on this journey with me. Thank you for giving me a reason to create this podcast.
I'm still working on the making-these-shorter part. :). Start painting. Start a podcast. It's no longer yours once you create it and put it out in the world. My daughter copies me. Hold a door open for someone. You never know who is watching and who I learning or being inspired by you. So, do your best to be your best, act your best and be the inspiration for someone else. Even if you never know you have been.
Maya Angelou: I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Lives of The Stoics (book): https://store.dailystoic.com/collections/signed-books/products/lives-of-the-stoics-signed-edition
James Clear; Atomic Habits (book): https://jamesclear.com
If you feel the need to "cancel" that's exactly the time to get up, to move, to not cancel. Ask for help. Tell someone what you are feeling. Let them know you need help. If someone cancels on you, don't take their answer at face value. Don't assume they don't need you. Err on the side of showing up.
https://www.jessicalahey.com/amwriting-podcast/2018/11/18/episode-133-workingbackwards
Change the story. Don't let society dictate what you feels. Change the story and break free.
Things referenced in this podcast.
https://www.drjudyho.com
https://www.drjudyho.com/podcast/episode/1ffd4c11/ask-dr-judy-and-michelle-dempsey-surviving-and-thriving-after-a-breakup-or-divorce
What's the definition of the words you are using and what are you really trying to say? What do you really think? Is it your thought, or an idea of what you think is your thought, based on what you think a word means?
https://www.amazon.com/Make-Your-Bed-Little-Things/dp/1455570249/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=make+your+bed&qid=1607237830&sr=8-1
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1523242701?aaxitk=G5xOSEq1TMm6YCScnAX8jw&pd_rd_w=EX0tr&pf_rd_p=85731050-2c79-4526-9287-564e75a22ef0&pf_rd_r=J76E67S87F0SFDYGYT51&pd_rd_r=164e4a3f-fb3a-4b3b-b27c-f9561d9780f5&pd_rd_wg=Vr310&ref=dacx_dp_5424208320301_8505731820301
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/parent?s=t
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/friend?s=t
This is a Jay Shetty heavy episode as the finish the book, Think Like a Monk. A highly suggested great read. There is so much more to come and the rabbit hole continues to happen. The next book started is called Lives of the Stoics, I'm sure that'll be talked about soon, but there is still so much ground to cover with Shetty's book. So, we'll chat there also. It's all about what you put in for what you get out. Please, stay on this journey with me. And thank you for starting this path. We are going to go place and do things, promise.
http://jayshetty.me
The theme continues with Neil Pasricha, Armchair Expert and what helped keep my head afloat at times when it was needed. Not to give spoilers, but "You Got This!" just might be what it was. But how? But why? Where did it come from? Listen to find out. Also, I think of a nice way to put some gratitude and niceness into the world. Feel free to pay-it-forward. It feels like a really good way to put some love into your heart and let others know you appreciate what they do for us.
As always, here are three things I mentioned in today's podcast. All are highly recommended.
https://www.neil.blog
https://armchairexpertpod.com
https://tim.blog/guest/dax-shepard/
I just realized the irony of talking about building a writing in my journal habit, then realizing I hadn't written in my journal when talking about it. HA!
I share a story or two. Talk about how I'm not fine, but better. Just didn't want this podcast to be misunderstood. It's not about being fixed. It's about getting to a better place and continuing on that path. Plus, I'm vegan (no reason for saying that. heehee).
The links: Neil Pasricha: https://globalhappiness.org/books/ (Mentioned in this Podcast: Two Minute Mornings Journal; The Happiness Equation)
How to Fail with Elizabeth Day: https://howtofail.podbean.com
The Daily Stoic: https://dailystoic.com
I'm back. Smarter. Funnier. Healthier. Dare I say.... better? Just. Better? Yeah, that seems safe to say. Get ready for Season 2 of A Better Father. A more focused, determined approach to being divorced, a single father, and continuing life. Just slightly modified from what is was just a mere 8 years ago... then 2 years ago... then 11 months ago... to today.
We'll be exploring getting better, being better, feeling better, living better and making the most a new life while living in a pandemic and raising a daughter 50% of the time.
Join me... won't you...
Mentioned in this podcast (even though I said I wouldn't link to it).... Jay Shetty: Think Like a Monk (https://jayshetty.me)
Thank you. You are not alone.