Trusted Advisor Associates – Training, Workshops, Trust Education: Recent Episodes

Trusted Advisor Associates – Training, Workshops, Trust Education

Associates LLC

View Details

In part 1 of this blog series, we refocused the return to office debate on finding common ground, founded on common goals. In part 2, we looked at what employers can do to increase trust during the transition. In today’s post, we’re examining what employees can do to build trust during the transition.

Trust is Crucial during Return to OfficeThe transition back to office work represents more than just a physical return to familiar spaces—it’s an opportunity to rebuild and strengthen workplace relationships that may have evolved during remote work. While organizations play a crucial role in facilitating this transition, individual employees can take meaningful steps to foster trust with colleagues and leadership. Here’s how you can contribute to building a foundation of trust in your workplace.

Lead with TransparencyTrust begins with open communication. Maintain open and honest communication with your colleagues and superiors, and be candid about your challenges and needs during the transition. Sharing your concerns, ideas, and feedback constructively can provide crucial information about what’s working and where adjustments may be needed across the organization.

For example, if you’re struggling to adjust to in-person meetings after years of virtual collaboration, share these feelings with your team and collaborate on ways to make the transition easier for everyone. Your vulnerability can encourage others to share their own concerns, creating an environment where honest dialogue becomes the norm.

Demonstrate AdaptabilityUnderstand that the return to the office may involve changes in routines and policies, and that your approach to work will change as a result. Demonstrating your willingness to adapt and contribute positively to the changes demonstrates emotional intelligence and reliability. When faced with new protocols or unexpected changes, approach them with a positive mindset and willingness to learn.

For instance, if your organization implements new hybrid meeting technology, take the initiative to learn it thoroughly. If office seating arrangements change to accommodate new team structures, embrace the opportunity to work alongside different colleagues. Your adaptability shows colleagues and leadership that you’re committed to making the transition work, regardless of challenges.

Remember that adaptability doesn’t mean constantly changing your approach—rather, it means finding the right balance between maintaining stability and embracing necessary changes. Share your adaptation strategies with colleagues who might be struggling, and be open to learning from others who might have found effective ways to navigate new situations.

Maintain ConsistencyPeople trust us when they know what to expect from us. Consistency – both between your words and actions and in your behavior – builds reliability. When we are in the office, our actions are more visible than ever. Make it a priority to honor commitments, and consider setting more realistic deadlines for yourself or being more selective about which projects you take on while you are adjusting. It’s better to make fewer promises and keep them all than to overcommit and underdeliver

Be Fully PresentThe office environment offers unique opportunities for meaningful face-to-face interactions. Multi-tasking during remote work was commonplace. In the office, make the most of your interactions by focusing only on the interaction you are having. Put away your phone during conversations, maintain eye contact, practice active listening, and ask thoughtful follow-up questions. Show your colleagues that you value their perspectives and ideas.

Consider setting aside time for informal catch-ups with coworkers. These conversations can help bridge the gap between professional and personal connections that may have weakened during remote work.

Respect BoundariesEveryone will experience the return to office differently. Be mindful of personal space and respect working hours and lunch breaks. Just because someone is physically present doesn’t mean they’re always available for impromptu discussions.

Share Knowledge and ResourcesPosition yourself as a reliable resource for your team. Share relevant information, offer help when you notice someone struggling, be empathetic and generous with your knowledge and expertise. This collaborative approach demonstrates your commitment to the team’s success and helps build trust through mutual support.

Acknowledge and Address ConflictsWhen disagreements arise, address them promptly and professionally. Avoid office gossip and instead focus on finding constructive solutions through direct communication. If you’ve made a mistake, acknowledge it, apologize sincerely, and take steps to prevent similar issues in the future.

Build Cross-Departmental RelationshipsTake advantage of being back in the office to strengthen relationships across different teams and departments. This broader network can lead to better collaboration, increased understanding of organizational goals, and more opportunities for innovation.

Consider joining cross-functional projects or participating in office-wide initiatives. These experiences can help you develop a more comprehensive understanding of the organization while building trust with colleagues you might not regularly interact with.

In Conclusion …Building trust during the return to office requires intentional effort and patience. By focusing on transparency, reliability, and meaningful connections, you can contribute to creating a workplace environment where trust flourishes.

These strategies aren’t just about making the transition smoother; they’re about laying the groundwork for stronger, more resilient workplace relationships that can withstand future changes and challenges. As you implement these approaches, you’ll likely find that the investment in building trust pays dividends in improved collaboration, job satisfaction, and career growth opportunities.

Trust is a collective effort, and when both employers and employees contribute to a culture of trust, it creates a more harmonious and productive workplace environment.

Resources to Build Your Trust Skills:* Subscribe to our newsletter. * Follow us on LinkedIn. * Contact us directly to learn about private workshops. * Explore our free eBooks. * Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.

View Details

In part 1 of this blog series, we reframed the Return to Office (RTO) debate from a highly polarized, all-or-nothing conflict between employers and employees to an exercise in finding common ground, founded on common goals.

Building and increasing employee trust in the return to the office is crucial for a smooth transition. In today’s post, we look more closely at what employers can do to increase trust during the transition.

The return to the office can be emotionally challenging for employees. Some may be anxious about or resent the loss of remote work benefits, such as flexible schedules. For others, returning to the office may bring long commutes and a renewed need for (often costly) outside family care. Trust is nurtured when employers are transparent about RTO policies, listen to employee feedback, and show empathy toward employee concerns.

Here are some strategies employers can employ to boost trust:

Lead by Example: When leaders demonstrate trust in the system, it sets a positive tone for the entire organization. Leadership should set an example by adhering to RTO policies and being visible to employees in the office, sharing and being open to feedback, and embracing flexibility.

Recognize Changes: Feeling appreciated enhances trust. Showing appreciation for the efforts and adaptability of your employees as they readjust to the in-office schedule is simple, and costs next to nothing. Express gratitude for employee contributions and acknowledge the changes they are experiencing, and what they may be giving up as a result.

Articulate Expectations: Clear expectations lead to greater confidence and encourage psychological safety. Publicize the RTO policies and highlight any standard exceptions, and/or the process for employees to request exceptions. Have criteria clearly laid out and adhere to the policies.

Be Transparent about Policies: Even if they don’t agree with the policies, employees are more likely to adapt if they understand the why behind the policies. Articulate your RTO goals, both at the corporate and employee level. Acknowledge up front any areas where you anticipate friction, and the rationale behind the policy.

Attune Performance Evaluation: Just as the shift to remote working required an adjustment to performance evaluations, so will RTO. Adjust performance evaluation criteria to account for the new working conditions. While it may be tempting to return to observable productivity as a metric, stay focused on outcomes to show you trust employees to be able to adapt.

Gather and Respond to Feedback: Listening is a gift. Establish feedback mechanisms, such as surveys or regular check-ins, to gauge employee sentiment and address concerns. Employ a blend of attributed and anonymous feedback tools so employees can feel safe sharing their opinions.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate: Let employees know they are being heard. Keep employees apprised of the status of RTO and the achievement of goals that drove the decision. Widely communicate RTO trends and employee feedback. Acknowledge all feedback and address it. If you make changes in response to feedback, tell people what has changed; if you don’t make changes, tell employees why.

Adapt and Learn: Demonstrating a commitment to improvement fosters trust. Be willing to adapt and learn from the experience. Consider what other policies can be adjusted to support RTO, like dress codes or flexible work hours. If something isn’t working, adjust your approach based on employee feedback and evolving circumstances.

Building and increasing employee trust in the return to the office is an ongoing process. It requires empathy, open communication, and a genuine commitment to the well-being and preferences of your employees. By prioritizing these factors, employers can create a workplace where trust thrives, making the transition back to the office smoother and more successful.

In Part 3 of this series, we’ll explore strategies for employees to increase trust during RTO.

I used AI to support researching and writing this blog series.

Trust-Based Resources to Maximize Your Team’s Potential:

  • Watch a past webinar: Back to Office: Trust is a Two-Way Street
  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn or Instagram.
  • Contact us directly to encourage cultural change in your organization through a trust-centric framework that pulls everyone together.

View Details

According to a recent Braintrust study on B2B selling, only 33% of sales reps consistently hit their targets. Whether that data point reflects inaccurate goalsetting or a need for upskilling, that’s a lot of rejection.

Losing a sale is a challenge that sits squarely at the intersection of business revenue and personal psychology. While it may feel deeply personal, overcoming that loss requires a fundamental shift in perspective.

The Real Cost of Fearing RejectionSales professionals who shy away from rejection face a double penalty: missed opportunities and internal turmoil. Without taking risks, you’ll lose potential deals. More insidiously, playing it safe can create cognitive dissonance with your professional self-image, draining energy and focus that could be better spent serving clients.

Why Traditional Approaches Fall ShortCommon strategies for handling rejection typically fall into three categories:

  1. The Numbers Game: This approach treats rejection as an inevitable statistic—just keep dialing until you win. However, reducing prospects to mere numbers undermines genuine relationship-building.
  2. The Emotional Block: This method advocates emotional detachment, suggesting you shouldn’t take rejection personally. Yet, denying the human element ignores the reality that sales interactions are inherently personal.
  3. The Power Through: This technique relies on motivation and enthusiasm to overcome rejection. Unfortunately, this often translates to aggressive tactics that may alienate potential clients.

The Narcissism TrapThese conventional approaches share a critical flaw: they frame rejection as something happening to you. This self-centered view mistakenly places the salesperson at the center of every interaction.

Think about it: When a prospect decides not to buy, are they really rejecting you, or are they simply making a business decision based on their needs and circumstances?

Curiosity: A Better FrameworkInstead of “handling rejection,” reframe selling as a scavenger hunt. This mindset shift transforms the experience from a personal challenge into an engaging exploration. When you’re genuinely curious:

  • Every interaction is an opportunity to learn, not to lose
  • Dead ends provide valuable market intelligence that can inform other opportunities
  • The focus shifts from self to solutions

Practical Steps for the Curious Salesperson1. Develop a Prospect Question Bank: Create a list of genuine questions you’d like answered for each key prospect. Focus on understanding their business, challenges, and goals. Avoid asking questions you already know the answer to. 2. Document Your Discoveries: Track what you learn from every interaction—even (especially) those that don’t lead to sales. These insights build your market knowledge and inform future approaches. 3. Stay Present and Engaged: Rather than armoring yourself against potential rejection, remain open to what each interaction can teach you. When your goal is to understand the client rather than to close the deal, you win every time, regardless of whether you make the sale.

The Power of PerspectiveJust as ancient astronomers had to abandon their earth-centric view of the universe, salespeople must let go of self-centric interpretations of client decisions. “Rejection” only exists when we position ourselves at the center of every sales interaction.

Success in sales comes not from learning to handle rejection, but from transcending the concept entirely. When you approach each interaction with genuine curiosity about how you might solve a prospect’s problems, the question of rejection becomes irrelevant.

Remember: No one can reject you without your participation in defining rejection. The next time you feel rejected, redirect that energy toward curiosity—you might be surprised at what you discover.

Resources to Build Your Trust Skills:

  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn.
  • Contact us directly to learn about private workshops.
  • Explore our free eBooks.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.

View Details

We often think of establishing trust in business relationships in sales-related roles. For instance, if I have a product or service, I will tell you how my industry knowledge and credentials will make it clear I am the person you should buy from. In short, you can trust me. I know everything there is to know about this product or service. Just ask me!

Let’s broaden our perspective. Is your expertise the key to building trust in various business and professional situations beyond just sales?

Business relationships encompass various roles, each essential for an organization’s smooth functioning and success. In addition to the roles of suppliers and vendors who provide necessary goods and services and customers and clients who are the end-users, there are employees whose skills and dedication drive daily operations and partners, collaborators, and colleagues who are extensions of their companies, working together for the client’s good.

Regardless of your role, be it a supplier, vendor, customer, client, employee, partner, collaborator, or colleague, trust is a crucial element in fostering a thriving business ecosystem. And it all starts with listening to what each of these role players have to say.

By mastering the art of listening—understanding why you’re listening—individuals can empower themselves to create meaningful connections, better understanding, and enrich their relationships. This understanding fosters empathy, a key element in building trust and a deeper connection with others.

Let People Talk About Themselves and Their ExperiencesIn professional settings, it’s common for people to believe that their expertise and credentials validate their ability to perform tasks, make informed decisions, and contribute meaningfully— grounding the conversation in trust and reliability.

This is only true when you are talking about yourself, not listening.

Whether you are talking to a client, colleague, friend, or someone you just met, they want to discuss what everyone wants to discuss: Themselves. Being open and receptive to these discussions, and allowing others to talk about themselves, can significantly enhance your professional interactions.

The key to making them feel valued is actively listening as they do so.

Allowing someone to share personal stories and experiences can be powerful in building trust and making connections because it fosters authenticity and relatability. Listening to someone share their experiences and perspectives encourages reciprocity, opening the door to mutual understanding and empathy.

As you listen, it allows others to illustrate values, lessons, and insights memorably. This creates deeper emotional connections that form the foundation of solid and trusting relationships.

It ensures that you fully grasp the needs, concerns, and perspectives of others, enabling you to provide relevant and thoughtful responses. Whether maintaining friendships, working in teams, or conducting business, effective listening leads to better collaboration, problem-solving, and decision-making, enhances mutual respect, reduces misunderstandings, and promotes a more harmonious and productive environment.

Trust integrates the emotional and ethical dimensions that credentials alone cannot provide, making it a cornerstone of successful and fulfilling relationships in all aspects of life.

Put the Art of Listening Into ActionThe art of listening is a powerful tool that enhances communication, builds strong relationships, and fosters personal and professional growth. By practicing active, empathetic, non-judgmental, and attentive listening, individuals can improve their interactions and create a more understanding and connected world.

Here are five tips for listening this way:

  • Ditch the distractions. You cannot multitask undiscovered, and being multitasked feels insulting. Close the door, face away from the window, blank the computer screen, turn the cell phone over, and avoid glancing at your smartwatch (an all-too-common distraction). Looking at your watch—any watch—suggests that you have other priorities or engagements that you deem more important than the current conversation.
  • Use your whole body. Lean toward the speaker—even on the phone. Use facial expressions. Use hands and arms, shake your head, and use “non-verbal” language. Positive body language encourages the speaker to continue and feel valued, promoting a more open and honest dialogue. This improves your listening and indicates to the speaker that you are
  • Keep it about them—not you. Use open-ended, not closed, questions. Let them tell their story. By actively listening and keeping the conversation centered on the other person, you demonstrate empathy and understanding, making them feel valued and heard. Keeping the conversation about the other person also allows you to gather valuable insights and information to help you understand their perspective, needs, and expectations.
  • Acknowledge frequently. Frequent acknowledgments can include reflective statements or paraphrasing, which help clarify your understanding of the speaker’s message and ensure no misunderstandings. Consistent acknowledgment fosters trust and rapport by demonstrating genuine interest in the speaker’s experiences and perspectives.
  • Think out loud. The biggest obstacle to listening is your own thinking. Be courageous— postpone your thinking until they’re done talking. Be willing to think out loud—withthe other person. Doing so role-models collaboration and transparency, and that reinforces trust. I hear you. I value you. I respond to you with no hidden agenda. I trust you. You can trust me.

Listening—unrestricted, unbounded, listening for its own sake—is how we develop such relationships. The point of listening is not what you hear but the act of listening itself.

Resources to Build Your Trust Skills:

  • Join or watch a replay of our free webinars.
  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn.

Contact us directly to learn about private workshops

View Details

Trust is complicated in many aspects of our daily lives; by comparison, trust in business seems relatively straightforward. Or is it?

While personal trust involves emotional and relational complexities, trust in business is not necessarily uncomplicated. It involves navigating ethical dilemmas, managing diverse relationships, adapting to cultural differences, and maintaining transparency—all of which require careful attention and can make trust in business equally, if not more, complex.

Here’s where things are seemingly straightforward in business. We all know it is crucial to have your clients trust you because trust forms an enduring client relationship, driving loyalty and long-term success. When clients trust you, they feel confident in your ability to deliver on promises, provide high-quality services or products, and act in their best interests.

This trust leads to greater client satisfaction, repeat business, and positive word-of-mouth referrals, which are invaluable for sustaining and growing your business. Furthermore, trust facilitates open communication, allowing clients to express their needs and concerns freely. This enables you to address issues promptly and tailor your offerings to meet their expectations more effectively. Again, the straightforward takeaway is higher client satisfaction leads to stronger business relationships.

Conversely, your relationship becomes increasingly complicated if your clients don’t trust you. How can you address the disconnect? First, you must acknowledge that distrust is a factor, which is easier said than done.

Ask Yourself Again: Do Your Clients Trust You? Whether you call them customers, clients, stakeholders, or partners, the cornerstone of your business’s success is truthfully asking (and answering), “Do these people trust me?”

Most will say yes. Of course they do, or they wouldn’t be working with me. Right?

Not necessarily. In some cases, making a change could lead to significant disruptions in operations, production, or service delivery, which the client may want to avoid.

In others, existing contracts or agreements might legally bind the client to continue the relationship for a specified period. Alternatively, your company might supply critical components or services the client cannot quickly source elsewhere, creating a dependency despite trust issues.

The bottom line is that clients continue relationships with untrustworthy people until they find a suitable replacement or alternative solution. Are you ready to be replaced? Can you afford to be replaced?

Honestly asking and answering if your customers trust you is crucial because it provides a candid assessment of your relationship with them, revealing strengths and areas needing improvement.

Trust is the foundation of customer loyalty and satisfaction, directly impacting repeat business, referrals, and overall reputation. By reflecting on this question, you can identify whether your actions, communication, and service quality align with customer expectations and ethical standards.

Then comes the hard part: Acknowledging trust deficits.

This allows you to take proactive steps to rebuild and strengthen trust through transparency, reliability, and responsiveness. Ultimately, this self-awareness fosters a customer-centric approach, ensuring long-term success and a resilient business built on genuine trust and credibility.

But in our haste to be trustworthy, we often forget one critical variable: people don’t trust those who never take risks. If all we do is be trustworthy and never do the trusting ourselves, we will eventually be considered untrustworthy.

Because to be fully trusted, we need to do a little trusting ourselves.

Examining the Connection Between Risk, Trust & Trustworthiness

We often talk casually about “trust” as if it were a single, unitary phenomenon—like the temperature or a poll. To speak meaningfully of trust, we must declare whether we are talking about trustors or trustees.

  • The trustor is the party doing the trusting—the one taking the risk. These are, for the most part, our clients.
  • The trustee is the party being trusted—the beneficiary of the decision to trust. This is, for the most part, us.

The Trust Equation is a valuable tool for describing trustworthiness:

But where is the risk? In the Trust Equation, the risk appears mainly in the Intimacy variable. For example, many professionals have difficulty expressing empathy because it could make them appear “soft,” unprofessional, or invasive. Of course, it’s that kind of risk that drives trust.

Often, empathy begins with reciprocal pleasantries that help build and strengthen social bonds. Simple gestures like greetings, compliments, and polite conversation create a sense of connection and community.

Pleasantries facilitate communication by opening lines of dialogue, including:

  • “I was up late with a sick kiddo and running late. Did I miss anything this morning?”
  • “Was that a TikTok reference? I’m usually behind on social media references.”
  • “You handled that difficult interaction really well. Better than I probably would have.”
  • “Best of luck with your presentation this afternoon. I’m looking forward to attending.”

They serve as a precursor to more meaningful conversations, allowing individuals to gradually gauge each other’s intentions and build trust. Taking small steps, signaling respect and goodwill, shows that we recognize and value the other person, which is fundamental in establishing trust and allows others to reciprocate.

  • “Oh, I know all about sick kids and feeling out of sorts the next day.”
  • “No idea, but I’m sure someone will show us the video later.”
  • “Thank you. I’ve had my share of challenging conversations. I’m sure you would have had a similar response.”
  • “Thanks! Hopefully, it will be worth your while!”

This increases intimacy levels, and the trust equation gains a few points. If we don’t take these small steps, the relationship stays in place: pleasant and respectful but stagnant in trust.

While the Intimacy part of the Trust Equation is the most obvious source of risk-taking, it is not the only one.

Here are some ways to take constructive risks in other parts of the Trust Equation:

  • Be open about what you don’t know.Although you may think it’s risky to admit ignorance, it increases your credibility if you’re the one putting it forward. Being open about what you don’t know fosters honesty and transparency, builds trust, and encourages collaborative problem-solving.
  • Make a stretch commitment.Most of the time, you’re better off doing exactly what you said you’ll do and ensuring you can do what you commit to. But sometimes, you must put your neck out and deliver something fast, new, or different. Never taking such a risk is to say you value your pristine track record over service to your client, and that may be a bad bet. Making a stretch commitment demonstrates ambition and confidence in your abilities, inspiring trust and motivation in yourself and others to achieve challenging goals—even at the risk of failing.
  • Have a point of view. If you’re asked for your opinion in a meeting, don’t always say, “I’ll get back to you on that.” Having a point of view rather than an immediate answer is essential because it demonstrates that you have thoughtfully considered the issue. It encourages a more in-depth discussion and collaborative decision-making, ultimately leading to better-informed and more trusted outcomes.
  • Try on their shoes. You don’t know what it’s like to be your client. Nor should you pretend to know. Genuine empathy and understanding come from actively listening to their unique experiences and needs rather than making assumptions, which fosters trust and more effective solutions.

While trust always requires a trustor and a trustee, it is not static. The players must occasionally be more elastic in their approach and trade places. If we want others to trust us, we have to trust them.

Resources to Build Your Trust Skills:

  • Join or watch a replay of our free webinars.
  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn.
  • Contact us directly to learn about private workshops.

View Details

Due to several universal experiences and observations, everyone is familiar with taking risks, whether they engage in them or not. Even those who avoid taking risks are familiar with the concept because of the fear and caution they experience. This avoidance is a direct response to the perceived dangers of risk-taking.

Everyday life involves countless decisions that carry varying degrees of risk, from choosing what to eat to making career moves. Even seemingly mundane choices involve some level of risk assessment.

Many professional and personal development courses include risk management elements, ensuring that risk is understood and considered in various contexts.

That includes addressing common risk-taking challenges like:

  • Should you risk mentioning the price early on in a sales call?
  • Should you be candid about your less-than-perfect qualifications for a job?
  • When you notice the client looking distracted, should you take the risk of commenting on it?

In such situations, the thought process is, “That’s too risky. You can’t do that—you don’t have a trust relationship yet.” Or, “Well, sure, you could do that, but only when you have a long history of trust.” That is a big misconception.

The truth is, you can’t get trust without taking risks. It is the taking of risks itself that creates trust.

Early Risk-Taking Can Strengthen Relationships Risk-taking is a fundamental aspect of human life, woven into the fabric of daily existence, cultural narratives, psychological experiences, and biological responses. Whether individuals actively take risks or choose to avoid them, the concept remains a familiar and integral part of their understanding of the world.

This is true in business, sales, finance, education, and personal endeavors. Taking small risks can build trust and credibility without being perceived as careless or unprofessional. However, trust only grows when one party takes a risk, and the other party responds in a trust-based way.

  • Should you risk mentioning the price early on in a sales call?

You take the risk of answering a direct question about price, even though you haven’t established your value proposition yet. Being open about the price early demonstrates transparency, which can build trust. It shows that you are straightforward and not trying to hide any information. This approach is respectful and opens the door for an honest discussion about budget and value. It can help ensure that the rest of the conversation is productive and focused on how you can meet their needs within their budget.

  • Should you be candid about your less-than-perfect qualifications for a job?

You take the risk of being very open about a relative weakness in your job qualifications. This approach shows humility, a willingness to learn, and the ability to turn a potential weakness into a strength, which can be very appealing. Although the client may or may not give you the job, they’ll note your directness and trust you more.

  • When you notice the client looking distracted, should you take the risk of commenting on it?

The risk can be as easy as saying, “I noticed you seem a bit distracted today. Is everything alright? I want to make sure we address any concerns or thoughts you might have.” This approach is gentle and non-confrontational, showing that you are perceptive and considerate of their current state. It shows that you are willing to engage in honest and open communication, opening the door for them to share any issues they might be facing, which can strengthen the client relationship.

In each example, the small risk may or may not go your way, but if you avoid taking that risk, it’s guaranteed that you’ll not get the trust (unless your client initiates it, in which case you depend on someone else to make your luck).

Early risk-taking can strengthen relationships by demonstrating commitment and reliability. Strong relationships are vital in navigating more significant risks in the future.

Resources to Build Your Trust Skills:

  • Join or watch a replay of our free webinars.
  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn.
  • Contact us directly to learn about private workshops.

View Details

Trust, a universal concept, is pivotal in our daily conversations. We often invoke it in statements that we believe to be meaningful. It’s a comprehensive language that binds us all, connecting us in our shared understanding of its importance.

However, its meaning becomes blurred when used as:

  • “Trust in the airline industry is down.”
  • “I don’t trust what media and news organizations say – I rely on people like me for trustworthy information.”
  • “I trust Amazon, but not Google.”

While the word trust is omnipresent in each statement, and others like them, the level of discussion about trust is fraught with definitional ambiguity everywhere.

Imprecision in discussing trust is not just a minor inconvenience. It can significantly impede progress in various areas, including personal relationships, business, and societal development. The stakes are high, and the need for clarity is essential and urgent. This urgency underscores the importance of precise trust definitions.

How Clear Definitions of Trust Transform Personal Relationships, Business, and Societal GrowthTrust can sow the seeds of misunderstanding when ambiguously communicated, potentially leading toconflicts. The cumulative effect of misinterpretations, misaligned expectations, and insecurity can lead to a complete breakdown of the relationship. Precise definitions of trust are helpful and necessary for establishing and maintaining strong personal bonds.

In business, imprecision in discussing trust can erode confidence among team members, partners, and clients. For instance, stakeholders may feel deceived if a company vaguely promises transparency but fails to define what that means. Businesses that are not clear and precise about their trust policies can damage their reputation, leading to significant loss of customers and revenue. The potential damage is substantial, and the need for precision is paramount.

For workplace colleagues, trust is not just a nice-to-have in collaboration; it’s a must-have. Imprecise communication about trust can create an environment of doubt and skepticism, making team members reluctant to share ideas or collaborate effectively. However, clear communication is the key to unlocking the full potential of trust in collaboration, empowering us to foster a culture of openness and cooperation.

In societal contexts, the lack of precision in trust discussions can hinder the successful implementation of policies and initiatives. For instance, vague trust-based government policies can lead to public disillusionment and a lack of support for essential programs, thereby hindering societal development.

Meaningful discussions about trust are crucial. They pave the way for valid, justified conclusions and actions. They also play a vital role in fostering trust-based organizations, cultures of trust, and increased trust in institutions. These discussions are essential for understanding and addressing cross-generational trends in trust.

Without standard definitions, we are reduced to bemoaning the fate of trust, wringing our hands as bystanders, accomplishing nothing. We need basic definitions.

Let’s call them:

  1. the Grammar of trust,
  2. the Objects of trust, and
  3. the Actions of trust.

The Grammar of Trust: Trust is a Noun, a Verb, and an AdjectiveWhat does it mean to say, “Trust in the airline industry is down?” Does it mean major airlines have become less trustworthy? Or does it mean public opinion is turning against the airline industry? Or both?

It matters if our discussions are to have any policy implications. This is loose language, meaning nothing unless we clarify our definition of trust.

  • Trust, as a noun, is the state of a relationship between two parties. It exists or doesn’t; if it does, it is described as high or low, thick or thin, broad or deep. Sociologists use this to talk about high- or low-trust societies or cultures. In business, Edelman’s Trust Barometer primarily (when it is clear) focuses on the state of trust.
  • To trust someoneis to take a risk, to willingly put yourself in harm’s way of another. This is the verb “to trust.” Psychologists focus on this propensity to trust, the entry point of business books like Bob Hurley’s The Decision to Trust.
  • Trustworthinessis an adjective, an attribute we ascribe to others. It falls in the category of virtues. We use “trustworthy” to describe people with credibility, reliability, high integrity, benevolence, and unself-preoccupied virtues. It’s discussed in books like The Trusted Advisor as the Trust Equation.

When we see “Trust in the airline industry is down,” we should immediately ask: which meaning of trust is used here?

Do we strictly intend to indicate a decline in trust? This is trust as a noun. We can track it over time, but it should always beg the question, why? What have been the patterns of trustworthiness and propensity to trust? What is driving the state of trust lower?

If we mean that people have become less inclined to trust major airlines, this is trust as a verb. If this is the problem, is it unique to the industry? Or is it part of a general decline in propensity to trust? What kind of social intervention is appropriate? Enhanced customer service initiatives? A transparent commitment to safety? Marketing campaigns that address common pain points and offer solutions?

If we mean airlines have become less trustworthy, this is trust as an adjective. If this is the issue, what data is used to define trustworthiness? And should we seek industry-based or regulatory-based solutions to the issue? Probably both.

Objects of Trust: Personal vs. Institutional“I don’t trust what media and news organizations say – I rely on people like me for trustworthy information.”

It may seem evident that trusting a person differs from trusting an institution. We’re not confused by, “I trust FedEx to deliver my packages, but not to babysit my daughter,” because baby-sitting requires an individual, not a firm, and we don’t think of FedEx delivery people as being in the baby-sitting business anyway. Trusting people is fundamentally different from trusting organizations.

Major trust surveys, like the Edelman Trust Barometer, say that “trust in someone like me” is trending up compared to “trust in government” or “trust in companies.” This is a category mistake.

The two types of trust are qualitatively distinct; they do not belong on the same quantitative scale. The blurring of lines is similar to that of “friends” on social media platforms, as we use the same word to describe our digital tribes that we use to describe our neighbors and old college friends. The common language must be recognized and respected, but it doesn’t have the same meanings.

Most trust is personal. If FedEx misses two deliveries in a week, my “trust” in them is seriously eroded. Yet if my best friend fails to return two calls, I am perplexed—but my trust in them is barely affected. This is not surprising. It’s not the same trust we’re discussing.

Trust in particular organizations—companies, Congress—is “thin” trust. It’s connected to branding, reliability, and reputation—but not to the more powerful personal attributes we associate with trusting individuals. Most people “distrust” Congress but are more inclined to “trust” their congressperson. This is only surprising if we think the same “trust” is at issue.

Companies that consistently score high on broad measures of trust (see, for example, Trust Across America’s Most Trustworthy Companies) are usually, on closer examination, that assiduously foster trust-based relationships between individuals—between employees and customers, among employees, with local constituent organizations.

Writers should avoid sloppy use of the object of trust—humanizing trust when we talk about institutions, for example—and readers should point this out sharply. The word “trusted” means very different things when applied to Toyota, LinkedIn affinity groups, and next-door neighbors. I may “trust” them all, but we are discussing distinct phenomena.

Actions of Trust: Trust to Do What?“I trust my dog with my life, not my ham sandwich.”

We all understand the difference, yet we often hear sentences like, “I trust Amazon—but not Google.” The Amazon/Google difference is probably the same as the life/ham sandwich difference, but we don’t usually hear it the same way.

To see why, ask what it is that we trust Amazon and Google to do. Most likely, the utterer of that sentence means that Amazon delivers fast and reliably and that Google tracks mountains of information about us. Fast delivery and responsible guardianship of private details are very different—maybe as different as “life” and “sandwich.” And yet, we act as if we’re making a meaningful statement about corporate trustworthiness when we use the “T” word with both companies in the same sentence. We are not expressing distinct opinions about two very different phenomena.

Whenever you read (or write) something comparing levels of trust—whether between people or organizations (or across people and organizations)—always remember to ask: Trust to do what? If we had more critical readers (and writers) about the above three distinctions, the discussion of trust would be incredibly advanced.

Resources to Build Your Trust Skills:

  • Join or watch a replay of our free webinars.
  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn.
  • Contact us directly to learn about private workshops.

View Details

In this blog series, we explore five of the most common misconceptions about trust that, while they are widely-held, are powerful inhibitors to creating real trust:

  1. Trust has to be earned
  2. Trust takes time to grow and is quickly lost
  3. Clients just want you to solve their problem
  4. Clients will trust you if you give good advice
  5. Having the right answer is critical

MISCONCEPTION 3: CLIENTS JUST WANT YOU TO SOLVE THE PROBLEMMost providers think that clients are focused on solving the problem. No surprise there—most clients would say the same thing. Let’s dig a little deeper.

Of course, clients want providers to solve problems. That’s what they are paying for, after all. But if ALL you are giving the client is what they are paying for, you need to be incredibly better than anyone else to avoid constantly competing on price. And that’s incredibly hard to do.

Clients don’t seek to trust providers’ expertise …… they seek experts they can trust.

Clients don’t want to be experts in the provider’s field. If they did, they’d have gotten their own degree or certification. They also know they will need that expertise again in the future. What they would really love to have, if only they could be so fortunate, is confidence in an expert on whom they could then rely repeatedly.

Most providers try to create trust by demonstrating, or at least talking about, their expertise. Clients therefore assume that their expertise is the most important thing they can offer. The implicit message is, “you can trust me to take care of this problem.”

Yes, clients hire you to solve the problem …… but what they really want is for you to care about them.

If you focus solely on your expertise and successfully solve the problem, then your client will learn to trust your expertise, but what about everything else?

The alternative is to focus less on the problem, and more on the person. That’s not to say you should perform poorly, but that you should also show your client there’s more to you than you’re your expertise.

Real trust comes from understanding your client as a person – through curiosity, empathy, and your willingness to be vulnerable with them.

Real trust comes from caring enough about your client to share what you see can help them succeed.

Real trust comes not from solving this problem, but from helping them see the next opportunity or potential issue, whether or not you can help them with it.

Clients’ main vehicle for assessing trust is your ability to address the issues facing them, head-on, with all its emotional complexities. The beauty of that is, it’s what you already do for a living anyway.

Come back here to read about misconception 4: Clients will trust you if you give good advice.

Resources to Build Your Trust Skills:

  • Join or watch a replay of our free webinars.
  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn.
  • Contact us directly to learn about private workshops.

View Details

How do you build trust in your team or organization?

A lot of the “conventional wisdom” is that it must be a concerted effort, led by the Office of the CEO. I’ve written about this before, suggesting that the best way to create a trust-based organization is not to work solely at the organizational level (outside in), but (heavily) at the personal level (inside out).

Here’s another approach to the same question. Have you ever seen footage of the amazing phenomenon known as a murmuration of starlings? Unless you are lucky enough to have seen it yourself, check out this video.

Thousands of starlings fly in ever-morphing patterns, like a brilliant jazz improvisation with a thousand musicians. The birds fly in perfect synchronization, so much so that they resemble a distinct organism responding collectively in the moment to an ever-evolving plan.

Kind of like a truly trust-based organization, in which every employee instinctively behave in just the right way, in every situation, with everyone singing from the same hymnal.

What’s Going On Here?

It’s tempting to believe that there is a single “starling leader of the pack,” one bird who choreographs the entire show, one whom everyone follows implicitly, and without whom the entire show could not take place. Kind of like the conventional wisdom about establishing trust in an organization. Tempting–but demonstrably not true.

Instead, each bird is genetically encoded with a few basic rules of the flock; things like “if your neighbor turns right, left, up, or down, do the same.” And of course, being birds, none of this is conscious. But it works, gloriously.

An ingenious programmer named Craig Reynolds wrote a program called Boids to simulate the behavior of starlings (see it here). Notably, he did not program the flock from a top-down CEO-driven perspective; instead, each Boid operated from a very few behavioral rules; more of a bottoms-up approach. And it works; check it out.

But We’re Not Boids!

The top-down CEO-driven approach to organizational trust has a few implicit assumptions. One, that desirable behavior must be led and/or incentivized, preferably from “the top.” Two, that rules have to be conscious and cognitive. After all, we’re not Boids.

But hold on; actually, we’re a lot more like Boids than the top-down model might suggest. All of us as individuals have innate senses of things like fairness and trust. We are accustomed to behaving in reciprocating ways (responding to our fellows). All of that is at best semi-conscious, and not requiring leadership initiatives. It’s natural to our human (and animal) natures.

So, how do we get our trust initiatives to end up looking like a successful murmuration of starlings? Through top-down initiatives developed by smart strategy and OD consultants, with layers of principles, metrics, incentives and competency models?

Or by unleashing, bottoms-up, something that is already innate in us? Certainly that approach benefits from leadership and encouragement; but not in the ways we usually think.

Leadership of things like organizational trust doesn’t come from intellectually polished programs and initiatives served up by leaders like a corporate set of Ten Commandments. Instead, it comes from leaders who role-model trusting and trustworthy behavior, and by so doing, encourage people to do what they already know how to do: to be honest, transparent, vulnerable, collaborative, other-focused.

There’s room for both approaches, top-down and bottoms-up. But the bottoms-up approach doesn’t get anywhere near the respect it should. Rather than crafting elegant corporate initiatives, we should all learn to emulate the starlings. It ain’t all that hard; like the starlings, we already kind of know how to do this.

Unleash the murmuration of trust!

Trust-Based Resources to Maximize Your Team’s Potential:

  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn.
  • Contact us directly to encourage cultural change in your organization through a trust-centric framework that pulls everyone together.

View Details

In this blog series, we explore five of the most common misconceptions about trust that, while they are widely-held, are powerful inhibitors to creating real trust:

  1. Trust has to be earned
  2. Trust takes time to grow and is quickly lost
  3. Clients just want you to solve their problem
  4. Clients will trust you if you give good advice
  5. Having the right answer is critical

MISCONCEPTION 2: TRUST TAKES TIME TO GROW AND IS QICKLY LOSTTrust takes a long time to build, and only a few moments to be destroyed. That has to be one of the greatest trust platitudes, and it is as wrong as it is commonly believed.

Trust takes a long time to build? Not necessarily, in fact frequently not.

Trust takes only a few moments to be destroyed? Even less true.

The TruthOf course, platitudes don’t achieve that status out of thin air. There’s usually something to them, and of course there’s something here too.

Let’s start with the first part: trust takes time. As we explored in Part 1 of this blog, most of the time we start off even new relationships with at least a limited amount of trust. But there are two points to consider when examining how long trust takes to build: the trustworthiness of the person seeking to be trusted, and the propensity to trust of the person from whom we are seeking trust.

The Trust Equation breaks down trustworthiness into four discrete factors: Credibility, Reliability, Intimacy, and Self-orientation. Of these, Reliability is the only factor that requires the passage of time to be evaluated: you need to set an expectation, then follow through on it. And even then, it’s really more about the number and consistency of interactions than the amount of elapsed time.

The other element is what social scientists and trust academics call “generalized” trust—the propensity to believe well of the motives of strangers, and to be generally optimistic about the future. That one, it turns out, can take ages to turn around—negatively or positively. As Dr. Eric Uslaner points out, generalized trust is installed early, and usually remains stable throughout our lives.

So, does trust take time or not? The answer is, “it depends.” And what it depends on is the type of trust we’re talking about. Let’s break it down:

Now let’s look at the second part: trust is quickly lost. Most relationships, like most emotions, take roughly as long to get over as they took to develop. Marriages or friendships don’t end overnight. There may be a flash point, a straw that breaks the camel’s back. But we usually give people we trust the benefit of the doubt. We don’t dump them abruptly the first time things get difficult.

Most examples of “trust lost quickly” turn out to be either just the last drip in a long series of drips eroding trust, or a delusion about trust’s existence in the first place (you don’t “violate the trust” of a subscriber to your email list by sending them a worthless referral; the relationship you have with a name on your email list may be many things, but “trust-based” is probably a stretch).

Trust formed quickly can be lost quickly; trust formed at a shallow level can be lost at the same level. But trust formed deeply takes deeper violations, or a longer time, to be lost.

But, you might say, so what? Why is that harmful? What’s the big deal?

The HarmIf you believe that trust takes a long time to build, then you likely believe that it also takes sustained effort, and that there are limited opportunities to build trust when you have limited time. You are inclined to focus only on those things that bring immediate gratification, like solving the problem or delivering the solution (Credibility and Reliability, which are shallow forms of trust). You are less likely to be vulnerable and take risks to connect at a human level, and less likely to set aside your own goals (Intimacy and Self-orientation, which create deeper personal trust).

If you believe that trust can be lost in a moment, then you likely believe you must be cautious and careful about protecting it. You are likely to think about trust as a precious resource to be guarded against being tarnished. You are inclined to institute rules and procedures to protect it and to give cautionary lectures about the risk of losing trust.

These beliefs are self-defeating. Why would you expend energy on something for which you are not likely to see results quickly, or at all? Or that you could lose in just a moment?

And they lead to precisely the kinds of behavior that result in trust lost.

Trust, at a personal level, is like love and hate: you tend to get back what you put out. You empower what you fear. Those afraid of getting burned are the most likely to get burned. Fear of trust not only doesn’t save trust – it actually causes low trust.

Trust is a MuscleThinking of trust as something that takes a long time to build makes you unwilling to invest in it, and thinking of trust as something you can lose in a minute makes you cautious and unlikely to take risks. But the absence of risk is what starves trust. There simply is no trust without risk – that’s why they call it trust.

If your people aren’t empowered, if they’re always afraid of being second-guessed or saying the wrong thing, then they will always operate from fear and never take a risk – and as a result, will never be trusted.

Trust is a muscle – it atrophies without use. And the repetition of the mantra “trust takes time to build and can be lost in a moment” just tells people not to use it.

Turns out the stupidest trust is the trust you never engaged in because you were unwilling. The smartest trust is the trust you create by taking a risk.

UP NEXT – Come back tomorrow to read about the third misconception: Clients just want you to solve their problem.

Trust-Based Resources to Maximize Your Team’s Potential:

  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn or X.
  • Contact us directly to explore workshops for your organization.

View Details

There are many misconceptions about trust that pervade how we think about professional relationships. While most seem harmless (think about Ronald Reagan’s admonition to trust, but verify), unless they are examined and dispelled, they will impede real trust.

This blog series describes five of the most common – and most dangerous – misconceptions about trust:

  1. Trust must be earned
  2. Trust takes time to build and is quickly lost
  3. Clients just want you to solve their problem
  4. Clients will trust you if you give good advice
  5. Having the right answer is critical

MISCONCEPTION 1: TRUST MUST BE EARNEDI often start workshops by asking if the people there trust me, and why. One reason I commonly hear from those who don’t is, “Trust is earned.” While that mindset is pervasive, it’s an unfounded misconception that often hinders relationships before they start.

Quite simply, withholding all trust until it’s “earned” would make it nearly impossible to collaborate or have meaningful transactions with others. A complete lack of trust impedes communication and progress.

The reality is that in most business situations, we extend at least some level of trust from the very first interaction with someone new. Trust is the default that allows any productive conversation or collaboration to occur.

Trust is not “All-or-Nothing”Once I’ve introduced myself, at least a few more people will say they trust me, but in a limited capacity based on my role as a workshop facilitator.

Trust is contextual – it can exist in varying degrees for different situations or aspects of a relationship. In other words, I trust the UPS driver to deliver my packages, but not to babysit my grandchildren.

Of course, egregious violations like unethical conduct or repeated untrustworthiness can sever trust completely. But more often, trust exists even if it’s fragile at first. The opportunity is to nurture it into something more resilient.

The Trust Is Already There – Now Build Upon ItTo be trusted, you must also be willing to trust. Extending trust upfront creates an environment for more open communication and creates opportunity for personal connection – the foundation for any trusted advisor relationship. Withholding trust, meanwhile, can spark defensive tendencies and strain the relationship before it starts.

The key is to approach new relationships not from a deficit requiring trust to be painstakingly earned, but instead looking to build upon and validate the trust that already exists. It’s a mindset shift, but one that facilitates much stronger collaboration and relationships.

Finally, remember that many people are willing to trust others until proven untrustworthy, rather than requiring trust to be earned first. Taking the risk of granting trust first demonstrates vulnerability and opens the door for the other person to reciprocate and validate that trust.

UP NEXT – Come back tomorrow to read about the second misconception: Trust takes time to build and is quickly lost.

Trust-Based Resources to Maximize Your Team’s Potential:

  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn or X.
  • Contact us directly to explore workshops for your organization.

View Details

Part I of this blog described how over-emphasizing the trust-building factors in the Trust Equation without balancing your self-orientation can actually hurt your trustworthiness. It also identified many internal and external triggers that might increase self-orientation.

In this post, we explore specific actions you can take to avoid over-playing your strengths.

The Goldilocks Effect

Source: “Stop Overdoing Your Strengths,” Kaplan and Kaiser, HBR Magazine, February 2009

In a Harvard Business Review article, “Stop Overdoing Your Strengths” (HBR Magazine, February 2009), authors Robert E. Kaplan and Robert B. Kaiser explored the impact of the leadership trait forcefulness on leaders’ overall effectiveness.

The plotted results of their research shows that overplaying a strength can be just as dangerous as underplaying it.

When it comes to being trustworthy, optimizing the trust equation may seem akin to the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears: what’s too little, what’s too much, and what’s just right?

Self-orientation is an important counterweight to overplaying our trust-building strengths.

The key is balance: being able to demonstrate your strengths while keeping your self-orientation low so your overall trustworthiness increases.

Managing Self-Orientation

Lowering self-orientation to combat over-playing our strengths starts with self-awareness, noticing when internal or external pressures trigger us to focus on ourselves. Internal pressures include things like ego, fear, complacency, and personal agendas. External pressures include things like deadlines, sales and performance targets, distractions, and issues at work or home.

The antidote to overplaying our strengths is lowering self-orientation, first by recognizing when your self-orientation is high, then shifting your focus to something other than yourself.

While it sounds simple, this takes ego strength.

Once you are aware of what triggers your self-orientation to go up, you can adapt your behavior. Here are some tips to avoid over-playing each trust-building strengths:

Counter arrogance with humility.

Humility is often interpreted as timidity, but a more appropriate interpretation is recognizing how you fit into something larger than yourself. Two ways to practice humility are:

  • Open-mindedness – hear others out fully and without judgment before proposing a solution. Respect their knowledge and contributions and consider their inputs. People will see your open-mindedness as increasing your credibility.
  • Curiosity – explore their point of view with them before offering a different perspective. A great opening phrase might be, “Help me understand where you’re coming from.”

Counter control with tolerance.

Tolerance means accepting something you don’t agree with; it also means enduring something that feels unpleasant. When we are fully committed to one particular way of doing something, it’s hard to accept – or even see – viable alternatives. Two ways to practice tolerance are:

  • Check your perspective – when you find yourself struggling because things aren’t happening the way you think they should, pause and ask yourself if your approach is the only valid one. If the overall goal is being met, even if it isn’t how you expect or want it to be, then consider changing your perspective instead of trying to change to situation.
  • Grace – give others (and yourself) grace to make mistakes, to change the plan, and to be able to achieve the goal in their own way. Trusting others requires relinquishing some control. If you never give up control to someone else, what might they infer about how much you trust them?

Counter appeasement and intrusiveness with sharing.

When our natural tendency is to create connection with others, we may push too hard for them to share with us, or we may feel pressure to agree with them (regardless of our point of view). Two ways to practice sharing are:

  • Go firstTo avoid appeasing: if you tend to keep quiet when you disagree with what someone says, consider sharing your point of view before others share theirs so you don’t have to worry about seeming disagreeable if your point of view differs. To avoid intrusiveness: before asking someone to share something personal, share something about yourself so they feel more comfortable sharing in return.
  • Create context – it’s easy to forget that others don’t necessarily know what we are thinking. Create context by framing your perspective or questions in a positive way, focusing on the mutual benefit to you and the other person. It will feel less threatening to you and to them.

To borrow from a famous C.S. Lewis quote on humility, low self-orientation is not thinking less of ourselves; it is thinking of ourselves less.

How will you lower your self-orientation to let your trust-building strengths shine through?

Trust-Based Resources to Maximize Your Team’s Potential:

  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn.
  • Contact us directly to encourage cultural change in your organization through a trust-centric framework that pulls everyone together.

View Details

Playing to our strengths can be seductive. We all want to feel we are presenting our best selves, and that naturally leads us to emphasize those things at which we excel. It’s often how we define our professional roles, our careers, even ourselves.

Too Much of a Good Thing

Some modern psychometric tools are built around the idea that individuals are more successful and fulfilled when they focus on developing their strengths rather than trying to fix weaknesses. Gallup’s CliftonStrengths©, for example, claims that, by identifying and leveraging their strengths, individuals can “enhance their performance, engagement, and overall satisfaction in various aspects of their lives.”

That may be good advice in general. But is it possible to rely too much on our strengths?

When we’re talking about building trust, the answer is a clear, “Yes.”

More Is Not Always Better

Over-emphasizing or relying too heavily on a single factor to build trust can become a liability. To understand why, we need to explore the relationship of each trust-building variable with self-orientation.

In the Trust Equation (source: The Trusted Advisor by Maister, Green, and Galford, The Free Press, 2000), the factors in the numerator (Credibility, Reliability and Intimacy) build trust, while the single factor in the denominator (Self-Orientation) inhibits or diminishes trust.

In this equation, when numerator – the sum of the factors that build trust – increases and the denominator is constant or decreases, trustworthiness goes up.

It’s when we start to separate out the factors in the numerator that we can identify the risk. Although the Trust Equation is a heuristic and not a strict mathematical formula, we could rewrite the equation as the sum of each numerator over the single denominator:

Simple common sense tells us that relying too heavily on a trust-building strength can backfire, with consequences for our own behavior and how others may perceive us:

  • Over-playing Credibility can lead to intellectual rigidity; others may perceive you as arrogant or closed-minded.
  • Over-playing Reliability can lead to overcontrolling; others may perceive you as domineering or overly-focused on details.
  • Over-playing Intimacy can lead to emotional exhaustion or appeasement; others may perceive you as intrusive or, at the other extreme, lacking ambition.

Why It Happens

It would seem that increasing each of the elements in the numerator would increase trust. But that only works if we lower or keep constant the denominator, self-orientation. The more we focus on our strength, the more our self-orientation increases, which diminishes the trust we are working to build.

Remember that when we have something that works well for us, it’s natural to fall back on that strength. When we’re under pressure, whether internal or external, it triggers an increase in self-orientation, which heightens the instinct to flex our strength.

The table below lists some likely internal triggers for each trust-building factor; the external factors are potential triggers regardless of the trust-building strength. The internal triggers typically fall into three categories: fear- or ego-based (concern about what they think about you), complacency (over-confidence in your strength), or achieving your agenda (getting what you want from the situation).

Common Triggers of High Self-Orientation

Self-Awareness: The Antidote to Self-Orientation

The presence of any of these triggers should be a warning sign that self-orientation might be on the rise. Once you recognize that a trigger is present, you can take action to lower your self-orientation to build trust, or at least to avoid diminishing it.

In Part II, we’ll explore what actions you can take to avoid over-playing your strengths.

Resources to Build Your Trust Skills:

  • Join or watch a replay of our free webinars.
  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn.
  • Contact us directly to learn about private workshops.

View Details

In a recent TrustMatters webinar, I shared four key attributes of Trusted Advisor relationships, and six mindsets that can help you get there.

You can view this and all our free webinar recordings here. For those of you who prefer to read versus watching a recording, here’s what we discussed.

Four Attributes of Trusted Advisor RelationshipsTrue Trusted Advisors are safe havens for tough issues – those people to whom we can turn for any challenge, professional or private, when we want guidance, support, or a sounding board. The special professional relationships Trusted Advisors form have four key attributes that distinguish them. These attributes are:

Personal. We often define our professional relationships by the roles we play: client and consultant, business partner and provider, customer and customer success advisor. Thinking about our relationships in terms of our roles creates a buffer and promotes the concept that we are working together only to fulfill a transaction. For trusted advisors, the relationship transcends the transaction. It is not a relationship between roles, but a relationship between two people. To be a Trusted Advisor, we must care about our client as a person.

Two-way. No one has the power to unilaterally create a Trusted Advisor relationship. The client must participate and reciprocate. While we can always strive to be more trustworthy, we won’t – can’t – be Trusted Advisors to all our clients. That isn’t to say you shouldn’t invest in building trust with all your clients, just that if it isn’t two-way, it’s limited.

Both Rational and Emotional. Trusted Advisor relationships go beyond the rational benefits, like solving business problems and meeting business needs, to engage on an emotional level. Empathy, the ability to recognize what someone is experiencing emotionally, is a critical element to connecting. But Trusted Advisorship also is more than deep friendship. Don’t overlook that being a Trusted Advisor means being comfortable engaging on a broad set of issues, not just those for which we’ve been hired.

Intrinsically about Perceived Risk. To quote from The Trusted Advisor, “Trust without risk is like cola without fizz; there isn’t much point to it.” The very act of trusting is taking a risk; if there were no risk, there would be no need for trust. Risk, real and perceived, varies based on the situation, but the client’s perception of their own risk may as well be the reality. Whether or not we agree with that perception, we need to acknowledge and respond in kind.

Mindset MattersSo how do we develop relationships that have these key attributes? It’s simplistic to look for tips and tricks without considering the importance of Trusted Advisor mindsets. And often, having the right mindset will help us naturally take the right action. Mindset hacks are simple things we can do to get – and stay – in the right mindset.

Here are six key Trusted Advisor mindsets, and a hack to get into each one.

Mindset #1: Focus on the other person. If we focus on the other person, everything else in the relationship will pretty much fall into place. As professionals, it would seem obvious that we would be focused on the other person. But there are a lot of impediments to other-focus. For example, we may believe that our technical capability or competency is enough, or have difficulty maintaining concentrated attention, or we’re focused on what they think about us. Maybe it’s just that we think that solving the problem is more important than understanding the problem. All of these are impediments to other focus.

The mindset hack here is to focus on the person, not the problem. Clients generally want to be understood as a precondition to having their problems solved.

Mindset #2: Self-confidence. Self-confidence is about recognizing the value that you bring to the relationship, beyond technical expertise or the results of a particular transaction. The biggest impediment to self-confidence is fear; that we’re wrong, that they won’t think we’re smart or competent, or like or respect us. So we push conversations to our expertise, to where we’re comfortable. With self-confidence, you can let the conversation go where it naturally will, knowing you can meet the client where they are.

The mindset hack for self-confidence is to ask yourself, “What value do I bring to the relationship?” (Beyond the technical expertise to solve the challenge is that’s in front of you.)

Mindset #3: Ego strength. This sounds like a strange one for trusted advisors, where we spend so much time talking about maintaining a low self orientation. Ego strength is the ability to take yourself out of the equation and focus on the process of developing the relationship. Ego strength requires objectivity, the ability to look past ourselves and our emotions and focus on the process of building the relationship. Impediments to ego strength include a desire for recognition or an avoidance of blame; inappropriate emotional attachment to our solution, idea or perspective; and losing sight of the big picture. We let what we want to get emotionally out of a situation get in the way of the relationship.

The mindset hack for ego strength is a mantra, “It’s not about me.” If you feel yourself thinking about getting the credit, or the blame, or you find you’re tied up in something that’s emotional for you, just remind yourself that it’s not about you.

Mindset #4: Curiosity. The mindset around curiosity is this: the problem is rarely as simple as it seems at first pass. David Maister, co-author of The Trusted Advisor, points out that the problem is never what the client says it is in the first meeting. Curiosity helps us focus on what we don’t know, not just on what we do know. It enables better solutions, ensures we’re solving the right problem, and demonstrates to client that we fully understand them. Some things that get in the way of curiosity are over-confidence from past experience (you’ve seen this before and know the answer), unexplored or unrecognized assumptions, and urgency. Don’t get so caught up solving the problem that you forget to understand the problem.

The mindset hack for curiosity is one question: “What’s behind that?” It’s non-judgmental and creates an opportunity for the other person to share more before we move on to the next step in problem solving.

Mindset #5: Inclusive professionalism. This is not “inclusive” in the sense of DEI. Inclusive professionalism means working with the client, not carrying the attitude that, as the professional, I’m here to fix them or do something they are not capable of doing. Inclusive professionalism requires that we embrace the value the client contributes to do our job correctly. Some inhibitors to inclusive professionalism include fear of losing control, patronization stemming from ego, and the assumption that they offer limited value because they asked for our help. Lack of transparency can also be exclusive. Our clients are specialists and experts in their roles. We may have a different perspective or experience, but they are experts at what they do, and we need both parts, together, to succeed.

The mindset hack for inclusive professionalism is a simple statement: “We will be more successful together.” That suggests they have something to add and we have something to add, and only together can we be successful.

Mindset #6: The relationship is the goal. It’s easy to get so caught up in work we’re doing that we forget about the relationship. Relationships survive bad events. Not projects. And relationships lead to growth, not deliverables. One impediment to a relationship mindset is short term thinking. If you only focus on this project or transaction, you give up the future potential the relationship holds. Similarly, only focusing on the technical problem leaves you with nothing when the problem is solved. Another major impediment is a lack of willingness to invest emotionally, to care about our clients as human beings.

The mindset hack is very, very simple. “The relationship is more important than …” The relationship is more important than not being blamed, than defending myself, than completing this deliverable right now. If we always put the relationship first, then our behaviors will follow.

Keeping Yourself on TrackChanging your mindset takes practice and intentionality. These four questions will help you be intentional about your mindset:

  1. Who am I thinking about?
  2. What does the client feel about this?
  3. Who am I serving by my present approach?
  4. What am I afraid of here?

The next time you feel yourself slipping out of the Trusted Advisor mindsets, ask yourself these four questions to get back on track.

Content for this post sourced from The Trusted Advisor by Maister, Green, and Galford, The Free Press, 2000; and Trust-Based Selling by Charles H. Green, McGraw Hill, 2006.

Trust-Based Resources to Maximize Your Team’s Potential:

  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn or Instagram.
  • Contact us about private workshops to build more trust with clients, in selling, and in teams.

View Details

Let’s try a thought experiment. Imagine that you’ve been put in charge of an effort to improve the level of trust that people have in your organization (which could be a company, an institution, a business unit, whatever).

You have two choices, I would suggest. One I’ll call “outside-in,” and the other “inside-out.” Both have a role, but one should get more emphasis.

The outside-in approach might involve hiring a PR or consulting firm to help you, and focuses on such issues as messaging, metrics, process and procedures design, publicity, incentives, market research, designated trust officers, behaviors, KPIs and the like.

The inside-out approach involves improving the personal trustworthiness and the propensity to trust for all employees of your organization. It also involves messaging (though mainly internal), but as well such methods as leading-by-example, education, role-modeling, performance reviews, and mentoring.

Which works more quickly? Probably the outside-in approach. Which lasts longer? Probably the inside-out approach. Which provides the biggest impact? Again, probably the inside-out approach.

What’s Going On Here?

What’s going on here is the interplay between institutional trust and interpersonal trust. It raises questions like, “Which comes first?” “Can you have one without the other?” And, “How do they interact?”

If your objective is to improve the perceived trustworthiness of your organization (the thought experiment I proposed above), then do you best get there by working at the institutional level (“outside-in”) or at the interpersonal level (“inside-out”)?

I’m not trying to set up a forced dichotomy. In most cases you should use a little of both approaches. This is not an “either/or” situation, it’s “both/and.”

BUT: my decidedly unscientific research suggests that the typical business response is to lean far more heavily on the “outside-in” approach, and to downplay the “inside out” approach. This is unfortunate.

It’s unfortunate because people – customers, clients, employees, the public at large – trust institutions only narrowly, whereas they trust people more deeply. If I ‘trust’ FedEx, it doesn’t mean I trust the FedEx driver to babysit my grandchild; but if I do trust that driver, I will probably trust FedEx too.

I trust an institution to behave consistently in certain ways, to have certain policies in place, to provide relevant expertise and capabilities. I trust people to do the same things – but I also want more from them. I want people to be flexible, good listeners, to be curious and empathetic and to care about my experience. These are traits that only people can have. If the people I deal with have these interpersonal traits of trust, I am more likely to generalize and assume good things about the organization they are part of.

If I’m right about that, then why do organizations default so heavily to the “outside-in” approach to institutional trust? I think it’s because the toolset of business these days is overwhelmingly analytical, data-driven, and behaviorally biased. We are taught to “trust but verify,” and that “if you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.” An entire online generation is being taught to eschew “common sense” and “gut feel,” yet to pursue automated imitations of those very human instincts.

Improving reliability and expertise is easy; you can come up with dozens of metrics and qualifications. These can be measured and trained for. Not so when it comes to empathy, curiosity and paying attention. They are implemented by “messier” human processes like imitation, Socratic questioning and stories. And yet, the presence of those abilities not only creates trust with an individual but reflects on the institution as well.

Suppose you are the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, facing concerns about ethical violations. Do you a) promulgate legal guidelines (and get critiqued for lack of enforcement rules), or b) gain consensus among the individual Justices that “going forward, we’re just not going to behave in ways that even hint at raising ethical questions, and if you have a doubt about an issue, surface it with the group?”

Suppose you are in charge of customer acquisition for a SaaS consulting firm. Do you develop an outreach program that a) solely and self-centeredly promotes the track record and capabilities of your firm, or b) recognizes and emphasizes something unique and interesting about the potential customer as a key part of reaching out to them?

Suppose you are head of LinkedIn’s efforts to increase networking and linkages between members. Do you create a program that a) automates a linking process with a self-seeking message header like “I’d like to connect,” or b) encourages members to seek out and comment on the members’ relevant shared spheres of interest?

And here’s one about which you don’t need to make suppositions – Wells Fargo, which endured a self-inflicted scandal in 2016. It brought down one CEO, and then another three years later, and the bank incurred billions in fines. Wells Fargo ran two big marketing campaigns admitting wrongdoings and focusing on how the bank was rebuilding trust.

Sounds good, but how did that play out? As the new vice chairman of public affairs said in 2023, “you can’t tell a story that isn’t true…if you’re going to say what you’ve done, or what you plan to do, you better be doing it.” In his telling, this classic outside-in approach was false, and still failing. In early 2023, the bank paid $1 billion to settle a shareholder lawsuit that accused the firm of overstating its level of compliance with orders stemming from the 7-years-prior scandal.

Perhaps you’ve heard the saying that “problems aren’t solved at the levels at which they’re created.” It applies here. If you’d like your organization to be more trusted, don’t rely just on institutional tools. Instead, remember organizations are made up of people, and they interact with people. Operate at that level as well.

Personal trust doesn’t exist solely outside of institutional trust. Among other things, it is a necessary condition for achieving institutional trust.

Trust-Based Resources to Maximize Your Team’s Potential:

  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn or Instagram.
  • Contact us directly to encourage cultural change in your organization through a trust-centric framework that pulls everyone together.

View Details

I’m noticing there are two types of people in this world; those who when on Zoom calls (or Teams, etc.) turn their camera on, and those who prefer to leave the camera off.

With one of my clients – a large professional services firm –despite pleading and cajoling and shaming, I generally get only 30% of webinar participants to come on camera. With another client, it’s 100%.

What’s the difference between the two groups? More importantly, is one group more right than the other? Should you go on camera on Zoom calls? If so, when, and why? And what does this little issue have to do with creating trust in the 2020s?

First, the two groups. The first one (70% lurkers) is mainly made up of 30-something and 40-something midlevel professionals. The second is made up of college students.

It’s hard not to suspect a generational difference here. Gen Z’s are generally more comfortable with casual online exposure than are the Gen X’s and millennials of my professional services client. Or so goes the theory.

A related issue is the use of digital backgrounds on these calls, vs. the natural background of where your camera happens to be. One group finds the digital backgrounds more professional, while the other group considers the absence of artifice and the presence of coffee cups and keyboard-treading cats to be signs of authenticity.

So What–Why Do Zoom Behaviors Matter?

I think there’s a bigger issue here than online calls. There’s also the work-from-home-vs.-office debate. There’s also the attraction of AI to customer service and other functions. There’s also the approach of marketers and sales folk using impersonal techniques to mimic the sense of personal contact.

The larger picture is – how can emerging technologies help or hinder the creation of interpersonal trust relationships?

I have a bias on this issue: it is that these technologies are here to stay, and each of us has a choice to make about their use. Do we seek out technology to help build relationships, or do we hide behind it hoping that technology can substitute for personal relationships?

This admittedly artificial and binary distinction rests on one theme: risk-aversion. Most people would agree that in-person one-on-one contact is richer and better for creating personal relationships, while at the same time more risky, time consuming and messy.

A lot of work-from-home fans are motivated at least in part by a desire to avoid the messiness of interpersonal interactions. I suspect it’s the same motive behind a desire to stay off-camera on Zoom calls. And, farther out on the limb of inferences, I suspect the same people are attracted by emerging digital approaches to lead generation and customer acquisition and customer service – “if we can just automate things, find the right algorithms, it’ll all go easier for everyone.”

The other side – full transparency, it’s my side – says we have not evolved in the last few decades out of our innate, human, emotional messiness. Technology will never substitute for human relationships; but technology can contribute to, or hinder, their furtherance.

The right choice is to let technology help. On your Zoom calls – get on camera for them, all the time. Eschew that Golden Gate Bridge green screen background. Lean into the camera, then lean out. Use voice modulation; use your words to convey things that body language might usually say. Let the dog lie in sight of the camera. Comment on other people’s backgrounds (“nice wall hanging; interesting vases on that table; what’s your dog’s name?”).

Don’t use LinkedIn to scrape names and then ruin it with messaging like “I’d like to connect.” (I’d like to win the lottery; so what? Tell me who you are an why we should meet, why you reached out, and how might we help each other?).

Hire more and better customer service staff. Stop lying to me (“our menu has recently changed”). Put “talk to an operator” at the top of your menu, not at the bottom. Treat customer service as a revenue center, or at least not just as a cost center. Use LinkedIn to find out about people, not just to categorize and target them with canned “marketing” messages.

We can use technology as an enabler, or as an excuse. I suggest the former.

View Details

As we navigate the uncertain waters of returning to the office in a post-pandemic world, one crucial element stands out as the cornerstone of a successful transition: trust. Trust is not only the foundation of healthy workplace relationships but also the linchpin that holds together the entire ecosystem of the modern office. In this blog series, we explore the pivotal role of trust in facilitating a smooth return to the office.

The return to office marks a pivotal moment for both employers and employees. After a prolonged period of remote work during the pandemic, employers have begun asking – or demanding – that employees return to the office. Employers have valid reasons for wanting workers back in the office and, while many employees are eager to return to the sense of normalcy they had pre-pandemic, others prefer the autonomy and flexibility to which they have become accustomed while working from home. As a result, the return-to-office conversation has become polarized, highlighting concerns about productivity and the balance between in-person and remote work arrangements.

In the first of this three-part blog series, I attempt reframe the current return to office debate, looking at employee perspectives on remote and in-office work, the employer motivation behind calling employees back to the office, and the societal impacts of returning to the workplace. The next two blogs in the series will address what employers and employees, respectively, can do to smooth the transition.

The Employee PerspectiveThe reluctance of some employees to return to the office can be attributed to various factors, ranging from control over work hours and location to a desire for greater autonomy. Here are some common reasons why employees may not want to return to the office:

  1. Productivity: Working from home helps workers efficiently drive personal performance and stay focused on completing individual tasks.
  2. Commute and work-life balance: Commuting to the office can be time-consuming and stressful. Remote work has allowed employees to reclaim some of the time they previously spent commuting, and they may be reluctant to give that up.
  3. Flexibility: Many employees have come to appreciate the flexibility that remote work provides. They have had the opportunity to tailor their work environment to their preferences, which can be challenging to replicate in an office setting.
  4. Childcare and family responsibilities: Remote work offers flexibility in managing childcare and family responsibilities, and a return to the office can pose significant economic and logistical challenges for family care.
  5. Psychological well-being: Remote work has provided many employees with a sense of control and reduced workplace stress. A return to the office may reintroduce stressors associated with the physical office environment, such as a noisy or distracting workspace.

At the same time, many workers look forward to the return to office to regain a sense of normalcy. A recent Gallup poll, identifies ongoing challenges related to remote work:

  1. Networking, relationship building, and professional development: In-person work settings facilitate organic networking and relationship building and present opportunities for professional growth and mentorship. Being in proximity to colleagues and superiors fosters learning and contributes to career advancement.
  2. Feeling less connected to the organization’s culture: Employees may miss the sense of belonging and connection to the company’s culture that the office environment fosters. The office often embodies the company’s values and mission, making it an important place for cultural immersion.
  3. Access to resources: while many workers have invested heavily in home offices, the workplace can provide resources that employees may not have at home, such as specialized tools, software, and a more reliable and faster internet connection.
  4. Disrupted work processes: For many, going to the office can provide a structured and professional work environment, which improves time management and can lead to increased motivation and a sense of purpose.

The Employer PerspectiveWhile the COVID-19 pandemic accelerated the adoption of remote and flexible work arrangements, there are still several compelling reasons why employers are keen to have their employees back in the physical workplace:

  1. Customer service: The American Customer Satisfaction Index dropped 4 points between 2019 and 2022, falling to its lowest level in almost 20 years. While it is rebounding, lower customer satisfaction is related to how quickly and easily customers can reach providers for problem resolution, and the quality of customer service varies with remote work.
  2. Collaboration and innovation: Physical proximity can enhance spontaneous interactions and facilitate more effective collaboration among employees. Being in the same location allows for in-person meetings, brainstorming sessions, and face-to-face communication, which can lead to increased creativity and innovation.
  3. Supervision and management: In-office work allows for more direct supervision and management of employees. Employers can observe and provide guidance to ensure that work is being carried out efficiently and in accordance with company standards.
  4. Organizational culture and values: The physical office environment can help reinforce company culture and values. It provides a space for employees to immerse themselves in the company’s ethos and connect with its mission and values.
  5. Networking and relationship building: In-person interactions can facilitate networking and relationship-building opportunities, both within the organization and with external partners or clients. These connections can lead to new business opportunities and partnerships.
  6. Branding and image: A well-designed office space can enhance a company’s brand and image. It can leave a positive impression on clients, partners, and potential employees.

The Societal PerspectiveThe return to the office also has several societal benefits that extend beyond the individual organization. These advantages can positively impact communities, economies, and society as a whole. Here are some potential societal benefits of employees returning to the office:

  1. Economic stimulus and urban revitalization: When employees return to the office, they may contribute to increased economic activity in the surrounding communities. Office workers patronizing local businesses and public transportation services boost both private and public revenue. Commercial real estate benefits from the return to the office, as organizations invest in office space, renovations, and expansions.
  2. Volunteering and community engagement: The return to the office can encourage employees to participate in local volunteer and community engagement activities, furthering social responsibility and giving back to society.
  3. Public safety: Greater office presence in urban areas can enhance public safety, as more people are present to observe and report any safety concerns. This can contribute to the well-being of the community.

It’s important to note that the societal benefits of returning to the office may depend on the size and density of urban areas, the local economy, and various other factors.

Finding Common GroundThe pros and cons for returning to the office may at first may at first blush appear to be divisive. Looking more closely, however, there is a lot of common ground between what employers and employees want. Topping the list are increased productivity and collaboration, which fuel innovation and customer satisfaction. Employee engagement and connection to corporate culture are high on both audiences’ lists. Availability and utilization of corporate resources also shows up in both perspectives.

With so much common ground, how is it that the debate continues to be so polarized?

Reframing the DebateThe challenge with the return to office debate today isn’t a lack of common ground. Instead, it’s a lack of common understanding. Each side appears to be fully vested in their own perspective, to the extent that they appear to have missed how much they have in common with the other side. The debate has devolved from a conversation on how to achieve common goals to a series of demands for each side to get it’s own way, with employers threatening to fire workers who refuse to return to the office, and employees threatening to quit if they are forced to return.

Rather than debating which side is right, we should be asking what’s important in each perspective, and how can we leverage the common ground to find solutions that work for both employers and employees. Both sides need to exercise empathy, reflecting on what’s driving their desire to return to the office (or not) and understanding what’s important to the other side, and why.

As we embark on the journey back to the office, trust emerges as the linchpin that can make or break this transition. A culture built on trust fosters collaboration, innovation, and overall well-being. By prioritizing trust, organizations can not only successfully navigate the return to the office but also thrive in the ever-evolving landscape of work. Trust is not just a means to an end but an essential part of the destination itself—a more resilient, adaptable, and connected workplace.

In Part 2 of this series, we’ll look at how employers can boost trust to smooth the transition during return to office.

I used AI to support researching and writing this blog series.

Trust-Based Resources to Maximize Your Team’s Potential:

  • Join our free webinar on November 14: Back to Office: Trust is a Two-Way Street
  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn or Instagram.
  • Contact us directly to encourage cultural change in your organization through a trust-centric framework that pulls everyone together.

View Details

One of the myriad things we learned from “The Great Resignation,” where employees across the nation voluntarily resigned from their jobs, is that people are no longer willing to stay in unfulfilling roles or work for employers that do not respect their values. A powerful component of the mass exodus from organizations of all sizes and industries is the effect corporate culture has on the workplace environment, productivity, and relationships.

Employers quickly realized what they already knew – the same thing we all know yet tend to forget until it is too late – that a positive workplace culture supports the well-being and success of employees and makes them feel valued and connected to their colleagues, making them more likely to stay and contribute their best work.

Corporate culture stems from the shared values, beliefs, attitudes, and behavioral norms that influence everything from a company’s mission and vision to employee satisfaction, work-life balance, and a positive work environment.

When we forget this, the result is clear: a negative workplace culture leaves employees feeling demotivated and disengaged, ultimately leading to high turnover, which has a resonating impact on the company’s reputation, brand, and long-term growth.

Here, we discuss why trust is a foundational element that profoundly impacts corporate culture and how it plays a pivotal role in shaping an organization’s dynamics, behaviors, competitiveness, and overall strength and success.

Strong and Effective Leadership Sets the Tone for Corporate Culture Influential leaders who lead by example and prioritize the well-being of their teams create an environment that employees want to be a part of. This fosters job satisfaction among employees and loyalty to the leaders by whom they are inspired and motivated.

When people feel valued, appreciated, and supported in their workplace, they are more likely to be satisfied with their jobs and less inclined to seek opportunities elsewhere, contributing to higher retention rates.

Trust Matters: Trust is critical in leadership that influences, inspires and promotes a culture where employees are more likely to follow the company’s vision and values. Leaders who build a culture of trust are those who consistently role-model trustworthy behavior and uncompromisingly promote principles that enable employees to be both trustworthy and trusting. This enhances reputation and brand image, which in turn helps retain employees and attract top talent who take pride in being associated with a respected and ethical organization.

Open Communication Leads to Employee Engagement and a Sense of BelongingEffective communication is a cornerstone of a healthy corporate culture. Employees are more likely to stay in an organization where their opinions matter and they feel informed, that their voices are heard, and that their concerns are addressed.

A strong corporate culture creates a sense of belonging and community among employees who feel part of something bigger, developing connections with their colleagues and the organization crucial for retention. Open communication helps workers feel engaged and emotionally committed to their work and the organization, taking the initiative to go the extra mile, take ownership of their roles, and remain loyal to the company.

Trust Matters: Open and honest communication within an organization fosters trust. When employees trust their leaders and colleagues, they are more likely to share ideas, concerns, and feedback without fear of negative repercussions.

Open communication goes both ways: leaders need to be transparent about what’s happening in the company and what they expect from employees, and actively solicit and listen to employee feedback. In return, employees need to share their input candidly and proactively.

A Positive Corporate Culture Promotes Work-Life BalanceMany organizations recognize that flexibility and work-life balance initiatives show respect for employees’ well-being and contribute to a positive corporate culture, but the reverse is also true: corporate culture contributes to work-life balance. Employees who consistently feel forced to choose between work responsibilities and taking care of their families and personal needs usually end up feeling unsatisfied with both.

Trust Matters: Employees who feel they can focus fully on their professional responsibilities while at work, and fully on their private lives in their private time, are likelier to stay with their employer. Knowing that their organization cares about their well-being can lower stress when they’re away from work, whether they’re enjoying regular time off or dealing with family emergencies.

Effective Teamwork and Collaboration Encourage InnovationCorporate cultures that intentionally build trust and promote collaboration provide opportunities for continuous improvement, creativity, and calculated risk-taking, creating a competitive advantage.

Trust Matters: Without trust, innovation initiatives will struggle as teams do not feel comfortable taking the necessary risks to drive change. This is especially crucial in situations with high uncertainty and vulnerability.

Intentionally-built trust makes it possible for teams to take action to achieve success while ideas are blossoming and in times of crisis where they can falter without embarrassment in front of their leader or colleagues. When employees believe their team will provide a safe environment for individual and combined risk-taking, they deliver results.

In a culture of trust, team members are motivated, collaborate more smoothly, leverage their strengths more effectively, and constructively resolve conflicts and disputes to reach mutually beneficial solutions, radically expanding confidence in each other, leadership, and the organization.

Investing in People Facilitates Adaptability and Growth Companies that prioritize a healthy corporate culture invest in employee development. Employees who see opportunities for advancement and skill-building within the organization are more likely to stay and grow with the company than to seek external opportunities. They are also more likely to pivot, grow and embrace organizational change.

Trust Matters: Employees are more likely to embrace new strategies and directions when they trust that leadership is invested in their personal success.

Businesses Thrive When They Put People First A culture that encourages long-term thinking and values employee retention as a strategic goal is more likely to build a sustainable and prosperous organization. Businesses who put their people first:

  • Retain experienced employees who contribute to institutional knowledge and continuous improvement;
  • Attract top, value-aligned talent who are engaged, innovative, productive, collaborative, and curious employees;
  • Are less likely to be seen as a “stepping stone” for employees toward their long-term goals;
  • Develop employees who are passionate about the organization, its purpose, and their role in its success;
  • Have lower turnover costs, including recruitment, training, and lost productivity during the transition;
  • See internal trust reflected in healthier client, vendor and partner relationships, increasing trust and loyalty from key external stakeholders.

Trust is a fundamental element underpinning a corporate culture’s character and dynamics. Organizations that prioritize building and maintaining trust among employees tend to have healthier, more positive, and more productive cultures, contributing to long-term success and sustainability and increasing trust with clients and partners.

Trust-Based Resources to Maximize Your Team’s Potential:

  • Build trust on your terms through our Self-Paced Online Courses.
  • Join the crowd and sign up for one of our Public Virtual Workshops.
  • Catch up with our latest Trust Matters blog.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter.
  • Follow us on LinkedIn or Instagram.
  • Contact us directly to encourage cultural change in your organization through a trust-centric framework that pulls everyone together.

View Details

We’ve all heard it (and may have said it ourselves) many times: “Trust is hard to gain and easy to lose.” Often that statement is followed up with, “And, once it’s gone…” Even without finishing the sentence the implication is clear: once trust is lost, it’s very difficult to get back.

But is trust really as fickle as we think it is, requiring such Herculean effort to gain and maintain? And is it really so hard to recover once it’s lost?

Trust is Hard to GainLet’s start by exploring the idea that trust is hard to gain.

Indeed, it’s hard to imagine a stranger on the street trusting you to watch their beloved cat Lawrence while they vacation in Greece this month.

Before entrusting you with the wellbeing of their precious companion, they would need some reassurances. They would need to be confident that your intentions are good, that you’re able to do the job, that you actually will do the job, and that you will connect with and care for Lawerence almost as much as they do, five walks around the block each day and all.

Trust may be hard to gain quickly with Lawrence’s Greece-bound caregiver, but it’s still relatively simple to demonstrate your intentions, capability, reliability, and level of caring before they ask you to temporarily foster their feline friend.

In fact, there are several things you can do – both with cat-loving vacationers and in your professional relationships – that will accelerate trust, like focusing on the other person and listening, making it a lot easier to gain than we might think.

Trust is Easy to LoseNext, let’s explore this concept.

Think about a few people at work whom you trust and with whom you have strong relationships. That might include your work BFF, a colleague you really admire, or someone who just gets you.

Has anyone in that group ever done anything to break your trust? Even just a little?

What about that time they said they were going to get right back to you and they didn’t? Or they’re constantly running late so you can’t trust them to join the team for lunch on time. Maybe at some point they weren’t as careful as you wanted with information you asked them not to share.

Yet you still trust them.

With most people we trust, it’s easy to forgive transgressions, especially for smaller things. We assume positive intent on their part and give them the benefit of the doubt. When they don’t get right back to us as they said, we know they probably have a good reason, and we don’t make it a big deal.

From that perspective, real trust isn’t as easy to lose as we sometimes think it is. Real trust can withstand a little testing.

Once Trust is Gone, it’s Not Coming BackSo what about those times when trust isn’t just tested, it breaks – what then? How hard is it really to recover trust once it’s lost?

It’s important to remember that all human relationships go through natural periods of rupture and repair and that no relationship, professional or personal, is going to be entirely conflict free. And that includes broken trust, whether through intentional or unintentional actions.

Furthermore, if we handle the conflict or the broken trust well, the relationship can actually come back stronger than before. This is a concept known as antifragility, an idea popularized by Nassim Taleb’s book Antifragile.

Taking perhaps a little liberty in the interpretation, antifragility is the concept that systems, entities, or organisms can thrive when exposed to stress, vs. being durable or resilient (difficult to break or able to recover to their initial state). In other words, antifragile entities actually become stronger under duress.

Think about a forest after a fire: massive regrowth, new species appear, flora and fauna flourish.

What happens to muscles that have been tested and stressed through exercise? They rebuild into stronger, more capable muscles.

Broken bones generally heal stronger than the original bone.

This is antifragility.

Relationships can be antifragile, too, as they go through those natural periods of rupture and repair.

If there’s a relationship where trust is broken and you want to recover it, there are a few things you can do to build the relationship back stronger than before – or at least get it to a better place.

  1. Prioritize the relationship over your own discomfort – be willing to have the tough conversation;
  2. Listen to the other person to be sure you’ve heard their experience of the event;
  3. Acknowledge the impact of broken trust on the other person;
  4. Take responsibility, and apologize when appropriate, for your part; and
  5. Commit to preventing it in the future.

Although the myths about how difficult it is to build trust – and to recover it when it’s lost – persist, there’s really no mystery to it: lower your self orientation and focus on the other person, be willing to connect, say what needs to be said, and do what you said you would.

Recovering lost trust might be easier than you think. And the rewards are certainly worth it.

Trust-Based Resources to Maximize Your Team’s Potential:* View the webinar recording: Recovering Lost Trust. * Take the Trust Quotient (TQ) Assessment. * Insider’s Guide, The TQ: What You Need to Know. * Subscribe to our newsletter. * Follow us on LinkedIn or Instagram. * Contact us directly to encourage cultural change in your organization through a trust-centric framework that pulls everyone together.

View Details

Zoom and other virtual meeting spaces helped save personal and professional relationships across the globe during the COVID-19 pandemic. While we all adjusted to an explosion in the prevalence of virtual teams, which have since revolutionized the modern workplace, the challenges were — and still are, quite honestly — clear.

The lighting. The sound. The background. The Wi-Fi. The inadvertent interruptions from partners, kids, pets, and even unexpected doorbells. It all adds up to Zoom fatigue.

And that is not even half of it.

Using technology and virtual meetings to communicate, nurture professional relationships, and increase revenue inherently leaves participants feeling disconnected. While the calls for employees to return to the office are being met with resistance, a structured hybrid approach is a resounding answer to encouraging a productive workspace.

This means Zoom meetings will remain a large part of the business culture.

So, how do we leverage virtual meeting platforms to remain connected to new hires, seasoned employees, upper management, prospective and existing clients, and vendors? How do we build trust with essential teams that rely on technology to communicate? We have answers.

Pre-Meeting Preparation & CommunicationBefore the meeting, create an agenda and provide participants with links, documents, and other reference materials to actively engage in the conversation.

When meeting organizers set well-defined objectives and clearly communicate the purpose of the meeting before it starts, participants are more likely to trust that their time is being valued and used productively.

Be Punctual & PreparedWhether you are the organizer or participant, being punctual shows that you respect everyone else’s schedules and demonstrates that you are a positive addition to the conversation. If you were emailed meeting documents, read them before the meeting and have them available when it starts. When other participants feel others are unprepared (deservedly or otherwise), there is an immediate lack of trust.

Use Video & Active Nonverbal CuesWhile appearing on video is not everyone’s favorite, it helps participants see facial expressions and body language, enhancing the sense of connection. Nonverbal cues, like nodding and smiling, show engagement and empathy.

Introduce Participants, Their Roles & BackgroundsIt is not uncommon to see unfamiliar faces in Zoom meetings. Immediately, this sends everyone scrambling for details about the participants, which takes their attention away from the forum.

Begin the meeting by making sure everyone’s role and background is clear, paying special attention to newcomers or infrequent attendees. Ask participants to share something personal (even as simple as where they’re located) to help establish personal connections and foster a sense of belonging. Inclusivity helps build trust and respect.

Actively Listen and Encourage OpennessActively listening to each person and thoughtfully responding to their comments encourages open dialogue and shows you value their input. Encourage participants to ask questions and address any concerns they might have. Share your thoughts, experiences, and challenges when relevant. If you aren’t sure if it’s appropriate (or don’t have the opportunity to) interject, use the visual response button or the meeting chat to show support and add to others’ messages. While engaging publicly may feel vulnerable, this vulnerability can encourage others to do the same, fostering a sense of authenticity and trust while demonstrating your willingness to be transparent and responsive.

Follow Agendas, Stay Focused & Manage Time EffectivelyDemonstrate that you are organized and respect other participants’ commitments by sticking to the meeting agenda. Allocate time for each agenda item and stay on track. Reliable behavior and respecting participants’ time build trust in your ability to lead or participate in a productive meeting.

Align the Team Through Technology Share meeting notes, action items, and next steps with participants and ensure consistency across all communication platforms using resources like shared calendars, collaboration channels, online filing systems, and project management tools. This demonstrates accountability and helps keep everyone on the same page. It can also encourage participants to provide feedback on the meeting format, content, and structure to reduce redundancies and improve processes while showing you value their input.

Building trust virtually requires all four elements of the Trust Equation, credibility, reliability, intimacy, and self-orientation, to facilitate meaningful interactions and collaborate effectively.

Trust-Based Resources to Maximize Your Team’s Potential:* Four-Part Blog Series: The 80/20 Rule for Virtual Relationships I, II, III, IV * Take the Trust Quotient (TQ) Assessment. * Insider’s Guide, The TQ: What You Need to Know. * Subscribe to our newsletter. * Follow us on LinkedIn or Instagram. * Contact us directly to encourage cultural change in your organization through a trust-centric framework that pulls everyone together.

View Details

There are seemingly endless reasons our clients do not take our advice. Challenges like internal disagreements, budget constraints, and rotating decision-makers can cause countless proposals to be refused or ignored, regardless of how obvious the need may appear.

While clients may say they are hesitant to rely too heavily on vendor advice, have had negative past experiences, or even claim we lack understanding of the situation, all of these excuses may point to an overall lack of trust that can keep clients from believing your recommendation is the best solution.

Contrary to conventional wisdom, expertise is not the key to getting your advice heard and taken.

Getting clients to take your advice requires credibility, reliability, intimacy, and self-orientation, and while most of us are quick to emphasize the credibility and reliability of our solutions, we tend to overlook the importance of intimacy and self-orientation.

No matter how good your advice may be, your solutions are not the cornerstone of the relationship. Your client’s needs are.

And the key to understanding your client’s needs is effective communication. Here’s how to get there from here.

Listen to Show Empathy and UnderstandingNo matter the industry or your client’s role in the company, it is essential to recognize that most professionals are more knowledgeable than ever. With ever more information and solutions accessible in moments via the internet, an advisor’s value as an information provider is practically obsolete.

While our clients may hire us for our expertise, they also bring their own expertise to the table. And they want to know that you recognize what they bring and what’s at stake for them. Actively listening – to their feelings, emotions, needs, and preferences in addition to the problem they have – allows them to feel heard and understood.

Ask more and better questions about their goals, concerns, and challenges to show you are genuinely there to help provide real solutions that will contribute to their success. Emotional intelligence and listening skills demonstrate empathy, respect, and support that will enable them to overcome their fears and doubts, making them more likely to trust and act on your recommendations.

Focus on What It Means for ThemWhen providing in-depth solutions, beware of defaulting to showing off how much you know.

Instead, phrase your advice confidently by focusing on your client’s needs to:

  • Clarify complex concepts by using simpler, more straightforward ideas.
  • Make your advice easy to implement by breaking it down into smaller steps that can lead to gradual improvement.
  • Provide practical guidelines for proceeding with the next steps.
  • Be humble and willing to pivot the approach if/when their needs change.

Finally, anticipate, acknowledge, and address any concerns, doubts, or objections your clients might have, and give them space and time to think through your advice.

They will perceive greater value in your advice when the rationale behind your recommendations aligns with their goals and contributes to their success over time.

Provide Evidence to Support Your AdviceTo communicate how your advice aligns with your client’s goals and needs, show evidence of how your recommendations can impact their performance, profitability, or reputation.

Share success stories, case studies, and client testimonials to illustrate your points and make them more relatable while demonstrating other positive outcomes that bolster credibility and help clients recognize potential benefits.

While charts and graphs can enhance understanding and make your advice more compelling, sharing real-life stories of how others have benefited from similar advice can inspire and encourage your clients to act.

Involve Your Clients in the ProcessWhen developing and implementing recommendations for clients, it’s easy to forget that they also know what they are doing. After all, it’s their business. Show your clients that you value their experience and work as a partner, not an authority.

Involving them in the process, seeking their input and feedback, and incorporating their suggestions and preferences can increase their ownership and commitment to the solution and address any issues or objections in real time.

This ongoing engagement reinforces your commitment and helps overcome potential roadblocks while recognizing and celebrating the positive outcomes.

Reinforcing the value of your recommendations and encouraging future cooperation begins with effective communication, empathy, and understanding. Trustworthy relationships deliver value and increase clients’ likelihood of embracing your recommendations sooner and more efficiently.

At the end of the day, being right only matters if you’re being heard.

Trust-Based Resources to Maximize Your Team’s Potential:* Think More Expertise Will Make You More Trusted? Think Again. * Take the Trust Quotient (TQ) Assessment. * Insider’s Guide, The TQ: What You Need to Know. * Subscribe to our newsletter. * Follow us on LinkedIn or Instagram. * Contact us directly to encourage cultural change in your organization through a trust-centric framework that pulls everyone together.

View Details

Some years ago I wrote about a “Better New Year’s Resolution.” It was pretty good, if I do say so myself. For years I tried to improve on it, and never could. I finally stopped trying. Here it is again, not-so-new-and-improved, but still pretty good, I think. What do you think?   My unscientific sampling […]

View Details

I recently listened to Howard Stern’s interview with (Sir) Paul McCartney. One part stood out. Howard asked Paul about multiple instances where John Lennon had been cruel towards McCartney; didn’t he feel treated unfairly, hurt, resentful, Howard asked? Paul essentially replied that no, that was just John being John, that once you accepted that as […]

View Details

Have you ever felt compelled to share positive information about yourself with a boss or supervisor and – instead – developed lock-jaw, unable to get the words out? Your mind starts to spin into thoughts like, “What if it just sounds arrogant? I don’t want to be perceived as an egomaniac!” And so, in an […]

View Details

Let’s talk about focus. Many respected authors will tell you that focus is essential to achieving success. They call it concentration, determination, single-mindedness, resolve – whatever the word, the message is that by focusing on the outcome you want, you are more likely to make it happen. And it seems hard to argue that being […]

View Details

A question I often ask when running leadership development programs is, “How many of you know people who are ‘gold medal’ listeners?” Usually about one-third of the people in the audience raise their hands. Only one-third. Less than half the room. We can – and we must – do better. We all know people who […]

View Details

You may have heard the quote, “It takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.” That saying, like several other truisms about trust, is far from true. In many ways, people form perceptions, trusting and non-trusting, with shocking speed. Furthermore, the way we use that phrase – “trust takes time” – […]

View Details

In Gallup’s annual poll of Most Trusted Professions, lawyers rank 11th out of 15. In our work with clients, we often ask for unprompted answers to “which professions are least trusted?” The results reliably list car salesmen, lawyers and politicians as top choices for the bottom three. It’s also true that in our practice, lawyers […]

View Details

Being influential can be challenging in-and-of-itself; being influential with a skeptical audience poses its own unique difficulties—not the least of which is our own emotional reality. Let’s be real: How do you feel when someone seems dubious or doubtful in the face of your brilliant ideas/solutions/products? I’d like to tell you that my natural curiosity […]

View Details

I recently shared my point of view on The (R)evolution of Trust-based Leadership. In that post I concluded that new leadership requires versatility and depends more on influence and collaboration than hierarchical authority and procedures. And that requires trust. Leadership is complex. Successful leaders master a range of functions, from finance and operations to strategic […]

View Details

It’s been (gulp) more than 20 years since I got my MBA. At the time, just before the turn of this century, Gordon Gekko’s fictional speech in the movie Wall Street that “Greed is Good” resonated. Icons like Jack Welch, Michael Eisner, Albert (“Chainsaw Al”) Dunlap, and Lou Gerstner were heralded for their ruthless commitment […]