Life With Herpes: Recent Episodes
Alexandra Harbushka
The Life With Herpes Podcast is created to educate, entertain and connect the underserved and, often ostracized, community of people living with herpes. Each week, Life With Herpes the show focuses on personal stories, managing day to day life with herpes, a weekly Ask Alexandra section, and weekly interviews with medical or industry professionals. We will cover things ranging from the stigma, how to cope and the hard core facts about herpes. The show will help people with the virus understand it and learn how to survive their outbreaks.
In this episode of Life with Herpes, Alexandra Harbushka sits down with Lindsey Ellyn, author of the book “The Shame Game”, to discuss how an STD diagnosis became a turning point of self-discovery and finding faith. Lindsey shares how herpes woke her up, leading her to find God and embrace her identity in Christ. She opens up about overcoming shame, shifting her perspective, and using her experience to help others break free from shame and stigma. If you’re looking for inspiration, faith-driven healing, and personal growth, this episode is for you!
Get The Shame Game, book by Lindsey Ellyn on Amazon:
https://amzn.to/47QFbNf
Connect with Lindsey
https://www.lindseyellyn.com/
In this episode, we dive deep into managing viral outbreaks and vaginal health with Coach Sarah Joy, a specialist in immune and vaginal wellness. Discover practical strategies for boosting your immune system, identifying dietary triggers, managing stress, and supporting your vaginal microbiome. Learn how biofilms impact your health, the role of probiotics, and effective topical solutions for outbreaks. This conversation offers a holistic approach to understanding your body and reclaiming control of your health and confidence. Perfect for anyone navigating herpes or seeking to optimize their vaginal wellness!
Connect with Sarah Website and services:
Coachsarahjoy.com Follow Coach Sarah Joy on Instagram @coachsarahjoy Coach Sarah Joy's YouTube Page Email: Thyroid@coachsarahjoy.com Book A Discovery Call Shop Supplements for Herpes Lysine & Monolaurin
Biofilm
This podcast episode features an interview with Monique Darnell, a licensed professional counselor and author of the "STD Mental Health Handbook." Our discussion focuses on the mental health and emotional aspects of dealing with a herpes diagnosis, including the stigma, shame, and trauma that can arise. Darnell shares her personal experiences and insights on how to approach self-acceptance, manage emotions like anger and resentment, and ultimately view a herpes diagnosis as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement rather than a life-defining setback. The podcast aims to provide a holistic, mental health-focused perspective on navigating the challenges of living with an STD, drawing on Darnell's expertise and lived experiences.
✏️DETAILS FROM THIS EPISODE✏️
📚 *STD Mental Health Handbook *
A workbook that brings awareness, experience, perception and feelings to receiving an STD diagnosis. Focusing on the connection of emotions experiences in a life-changing event
👉https://amzn.to/4cUN72I
☁Monique's Website
mrdcasolutions.com
☁Monique's Instagram Page
@moniquerdarnell
📚Other books by Monique A Guide to Healthy Relationships, a Single's Ministry Part I and From Fact to Faith
In this episode titled "4 Things I'm Doing to Uplevel My Life Despite Having Herpes," Alexandra Harbushka shares four key strategies for improving overall well-being while living with herpes. Firstly, she emphasizes the importance of prioritizing sleep, suggesting techniques such as avoiding screens before bedtime and wearing blue light glasses.
Next, she discusses the significance of nutrition, including the benefits of consuming whole foods, avoiding certain oils high in omega-6 fatty acids, and opting for organic choices to minimize exposure to glyphosate.
The importance of regular exercise and supporting the nervous system through techniques like Biofield Tuning are also highlighted. Biofield Tuning, a sound therapy technique, is explained as a method for addressing physical, mental, and emotional imbalances by working with the body's electrical system. Through these practices, the speaker aims to enhance their overall quality of life despite the challenges posed by living with herpes.
You can learn more about the supplements mentioned in the video here
https://www.lifewithherpes.com/monolaurin
And learn about Elisabeth Kristof and her work on healing the nervous system here, as well as join the community for healing your nervous system.
https://go.lifewithherpes.com/sp1-4964
Learn more about Alexandra and her work on her website
https://www.lifewithherpes.com/start-here
Cure Advocacy is the only patient advocacy organization globally working towards the cure, treatment and prevention of Herpes. They exist to empower both patients and healthcare providers to learn to advocate for themselves and to know that change is possible! Visit www.herpescureadvocacy.com to receive your copy of the Herpes Cure Pipeline 3.0 - a comprehensive resource of all clinical trials for new therapies for HSV.
0:00 Introduction02:00 Can herpes be serious 04:40 Are you going to have serious consequences because of herpes 06:07 Why herpes hasn't got enough attention to develop a cure or vaccine 11:24 Cure vs. vaccine and the development 18:28 What's holding up the research and better treatment of herpes virus 20:04 Is it really the big pharma that do not want a cure for herpes23:00 HIV & AIDS vs. Herpes 29:00 What can you do help with the herpes cure 34:19 How the world is starting to change towards herpes 37:00 Any last words from Herpes Cure Advocacy
Join host Alexandra Habrushka and special guest Jason Lebeck as they delve into the unique challenges faced by a 21-year-old Christian navigating faith and cultural/religious discrimination while living with HSV-2. Through candid conversations and personal insights, they explore themes of resilience, faith, and overcoming stigma in a world where faith and health intersect. Tune in to gain valuable perspectives and find inspiration in their journey of grace and growth. You can follow Jason on his new Youtube channel @Jason4Hope, or connect with him on social media or through email. Instagram: @monksaihan_rebornn Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090613901753 Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/Sudden_Leg9320/ Gmail: jasonlebeck@gmail.com
In this enlightening episode, delve into the intricate connection between the nervous system and the emotional impact of a herpes diagnosis. Discover how shame and societal stigma can influence our neural pathways, affecting not only our mental well-being but also our physical health. Join us as we explore strategies to heal and empower ourselves in the face of herpes stigma, nurturing a healthier relationship with our nervous system and our self-worth.
💚Learn more about Brainbased Wellness and get 2-weeks of free membership here:
https://www.lifewithherpes.com/brainbased-wellness
A powerful interview Alexandra did with Lindsey Ellyn, the author of The Shame Game: A Counter-Cultural Approach to Overcoming Shame and Improving Mental, Relational, and Sexual Health, where they talk about the shame that a herpes diagnosis can bring. In the tapestry of life, certain threads can lead us to unexpected places, challenging our perceptions and reshaping our understanding of self-worth, relationships, and societal norms. Lindsey Ellyn's candid revelation about her herpes diagnosis serves as a poignant narrative, weaving together themes of healing, faith, and the courage to break free from the stifling chains of stigma.
Lindsey's journey begins with the profound realization that her worth extends far beyond the label of a herpes diagnosis. It's a universal truth that beckons each of us to recognize the complexity of our humanity, with herpes being just one facet of the intricate tapestry of our lives.
💔Get in touch with Lindsey: https://www.lindseyellyn.com/ 💔Get Lindsey's book on Amazon https://amzn.to/47QFbNf
"Join Coach Sarah Joy on a transformative journey through thyroid and gut health. A former warrior battling Epstein Barr, Herpes, Hashimoto's, and Hypothyroidism, she conquered chronic symptoms and reclaimed her health. After enduring misdiagnoses and ineffective treatments, Sarah reclaimed her power, delving into extensive research and self-healing methods.
Now a certified Transformational Nutrition and Thyroid Coach, her passion lies in empowering women combating various health challenges, from thyroid imbalances to infections like Herpes, Epstein Barr, and more. As a Holistic Root Cause Coach, Sarah educates and supports women in overcoming obstacles such as gut imbalances, diet struggles, and trapped trauma.
Her mission? To educate and empower 100 million women by 2030 on the crucial connection between Herpes and Thyroid illnesses. Tune in to explore holistic wellness strategies and embark on a journey toward vitality and understanding.
💢Follow Sarah on social media: Instagram, Tiktok & Youtube channel:
@coach.sarah.joy, visit her website www.coachsarahjoy.com,
or listen to her podcast:
Thursday Thyroid Talks
💢Update: Hi Everyone, It's Coach Sarah Joy, I wanted to point out that I mentioned two things in the podcast backwards on accident. Call it the heat of the moment, or my mind running faster than my mouth. Regardless, I apologize for any confusion. You're welcome to DM me on IG any time for clarity.
💢Coach Sarah Joy does not diagnose, treat, heal, cure or prevent any illness, medical condition or mental or emotional condition and nothing on our website, its content or in our services is intended to diagnose, treat, heal, cure or prevent any illness, medical condition or mental condition. Coach Sarah Joy provides Thyroid and Nutrition information and education. Our services are not medical or mental health advice. Sarah Lohman is a Health and Wellness Coach, not a mental health or healthcare professional. Nothing on our website, in our Content or in our Services should be construed as healthcare or mental health advice or as a substitute for a consultation with a healthcare or mental health professional who can review and advise you on your specific situation. Anyone choosing to implement any information on our website or in our Services should obtain prior medical clearance from a licensed or registered healthcare or mental health professional to declare them sufficiently healthy, and determine that the information on our website or in our services is appropriate and useful for them. Do not disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking professional advice because of information you have read on our website, or received from us. Coaching is in no way to be construed as psychological counseling, therapy or medical advice.
In this insightful episode of Life with herpes podcast, join your host Alexandra Harbushka and special guest Elisabeth Kristof as they delve into the fascinating connection between the nervous system and herpes outbreaks. Elisabeth, a renowned expert in nervous system health, shares valuable insights and practical tips on how understanding and supporting your nervous system can play a pivotal role in managing and preventing herpes outbreaks. Tune in to discover empowering strategies for achieving a healthier, more balanced life with herpes.
Life with herpes is committed to providing you with expert advice and empowering conversations about living your best life, even with herpes. Don't miss this enlightening discussion that could make a significant difference in your journey.
Listen now to gain a deeper understanding of how your nervous system impacts herpes outbreaks, and learn actionable steps to take control of your well-being.
Listen to part 2: Healing Shame: Exploring the Nervous System and Herpes Stigma
Get 2weeks free membership for Brainbased Wellness here.
In a recent interview, we had the opportunity to speak with Dr. John Martin, an experienced OBGYN, who shared valuable insights about herpes, its impact on pregnancy, and how individuals can navigate this diagnosis. Join us as we delve into the conversation and gain a better understanding of herpes from a medical professional's perspective.
Finding out you have herpes can be a difficult and isolating experience. When Alexandra, the founder of The Secret Society was first diagnosed, she felt alone and without support. That's why she created The Secret Society, an online support group for people living with herpes.
Coach Sarah Joy helps women with thyroid conditions find their root causes. She got herpes, was diagnosed with Hashimoto's and Epstein–Barr. After years of dealing with symptoms, exhaustion, fatigue, anxiety, insomnia, muscle weakness, panic attacks, brittle hair and nails, hair loss, food intolerances, bloating and pain after I ate, heart pain, palpitations, brain fog, memory loss, constipation, intolerances to the weather, seasonal or environmental allergies, and more, she managed to get her health back after years of dealing with the symptoms.
When we are in a relationship there is acceptance on both sides. We think that herpes is the only thing that has to be accepted. But we are also going to be accepting my flaws and a herpes diagnosis.
These wellness products are made to fight herpes outbreaks. We created them especially for people living with herpes, who want to deal with their outbreaks in a more natural ways. They can also be used to support your body when you're on antivirals.
Overall, they took about a year to get formulated and I'm so exited to share them with you!
If you were just diagnosed with herpes, you're probably freaking out and don't know where to go or turn to. I hope this video sheds some light on the topic you're interested in, how to go on, and where to search for information.
There's a preconceived notion in many of us that being promiscuous will definitely get you herpes. If you will not sleep around, or not sleep with 'those people', or always do things the right way, there's no way you're going to get herpes.
I also thought I'm that person.
Sometimes people think it's easier to get diagnosed later in life, and other times, people think it's easier when we're younger and we can deal with it easier. The truth is, there's never a good time to get diagnosed and it can always be hard to deal with outbreaks and disclose to our partners, when dating seems so far away.
According to Oxford's dictionary the definition of asymptomatic is, "(of a condition or a person) producing or showing no symptoms." So what this means for someone living with herpes is, they have herpes but don't have any symptoms. They don't get outbreaks, they don't have tingles, they don't get itchy, they don't have any sensation or clue that they have herpes.
There are 4 common areas where the HSV1 or HSV2 virus can go; oral, genital, on your hands and in your eyes.
In your 20's your 4th of July should be spent having fun with friends at the beach. Having just gotten diagnosed with herpes you won't believe how I spent my 4th of July. Spoiler alert there was lots of crying over my herpes diagnosis.
This day 11 years ago was the worst day of my life, it was the day I got diagnosed with genital herpes. This was something I never saw coming. On today's vlog Alexandra shares her never told before story of what it was like in 2011 getting diagnosed with genital herpes.
When I was first diagnosed with herpes I'd wondered what life with herpes would look like for 11 years. At the time, I didn't think that a happy life was even possible. I mean, I had herpes. In today's video I walk you through what it's like living with herpes 11 years later.
If you've just been diagnosed with herpes you have herpes questions. So Alexandra's answered the top FAQ's in today's vlog.
She talks about that waiting period of wondering if your herpes results are going to come back positive or negative. There are so many ups and downs that lead you down a rabbit hole of questions.
Now it's Tuesday and I know something is wrong. This is the same day as it was eleven years ago. By now the blisters had fully shown up and I was in unbelievable pain. I felt so sick and could not imagine what was going on. Today was supposed to be just a regular physical but instead it turned into the day to go to the doctors and get a resolution.
Being diagnosed with herpes in 2003 is very different than being diagnosed with herpes in 2022 . The major difference is the ability to find resources and educate yourself because back in the early 2000's it was even more taboo than now.
Alexandra shares her point of view from 2003 till today in 2022. There are three things that really stand out.
Eleven years ago I was diagnosed with genital herpes.
This year in 2022 falls on the same days of the week as in 2011. I've shared things here and there but I've never walked you through exactly what I did and how I felt. Share what I can remember and the good, the bad and the ugly. My intention for this week is to bring awareness to herpes: your life moves on and you forget how big of a deal it is. Talk you through the exact week 11 years ago, build awareness and hand hold you through your diagnosis. Reconnect so that you know you are not alone.
When we hear about herpes or are diagnosed with herpes we automatically think we have to use a condom or some type of protection for the rest of our life.
I've had a lot of you ask me about my story and how did I get pregnant and was I worried about transmitting it to my husband.
Monolaurin is becoming more and more popular among people looking for a healthy lifestyle. Coconuts and palm kernel oil are almost the only source of it, apart from human breast milk. Later telling us how important actually is for humans.
Monolaurin has the ability to break the outer shell of enveloped viruses, meaning it can actually help us fight those viruses way better and faster. And since herpes is one of the enveloped viruses, it can do a lot for our immune system in that sense.
Before getting herpes or a STD/STI I was terrified of getting one, especially herpes. I mean look at what the stigma says about people who have herpes. They are disgusting, they have slept around, they are whores that got this because they did something wrong and now they are paying for it and it can go on and on. Obviously I don’t beige this stigma and neither should you.
Your dating life is not over now that you have herpes. Promise!!! Having herpes or not rejection happens and that’s okay and it’s part of life. I disclosed to guys that I was interested in and got rejected, I also disclosed as way to get out of having sex and that totally backfired and then I’ve disclosed and it’s been no problem.
I was diagnosed with herpes in 2011. That doesn’t sound like it was too long ago and that we haven't had to many changes but really, when you think about it we’ve had a ton of technological changes. Let me take you back to 2011. There was google, but it wasn’t what it is today. There was Facebook and Instagram, but neither had the impact that they have today. So what I’m trying to say is that there wasn’t the information out there that there is now. When I googled herpes, or who had herpes back in 2011, the only information that came up was something very sterile from either WebMD or Planned Parenthood that just gave the facts about herpes but didn’t help with the stigma. I think I logged off feeling worse about myself than when the doctor told me about my diagnosis.
Now that we have herpes we want to know what the chances are that we’re going to transmit herpes to our partner. I get asked this daily on my lives and in the comments. There is the preconceived thought that if you have herpes you’re contagious all the time and you’ll have outbreaks all the time and that your entire body is contagious. I can happily tell you that that is not true.
With herpes being so common it’s actually rare to find someone without it. I hear time and time again from people who are just diagnosed with herpes, or if they haven’t processed their herpes diagnosis, say that their partner should go find someone without herpes. Or when a rejection happens the person is thinking that it's going to be way easier to find someone else without herpes.
It’s totally possible and your dating life can be totally normal. In general we put so much on our plate to date. Things like: he has to be the one, or I’m so tired of dating immature people, are there any good ones left out there, ugh, here we go again and so on. We females put pressure on ourselves to find a good one and settle down, it’s what society expects from us. Regardless there is pressure from all angles to date and find someone.
Let me tell you a bit about my pregnancy. I went through IVF to have Clinton and I never had an outbreak during any of the hormonal treatments and IVF treatments to get pregnant. Then fast forward I don’t believe I had outbreaks in my first trimester but then in my second trimester, I started having few and then in my last trimester I had them back to back.
This topic brings up so many emotions. If you just slept with someone and they then later told you that they have herpes, I’m sure you are angry and confused. And if you have herpes and just slept with someone and didn’t tell them, I bet you have a lump in you stomach.
There are times that I have had an outbreak and my husband and I have wanted to have sex. Whether it’s been when we are on vacation, or just because. With that being said, we’ve gotten creative and still had a great time getting between the sheets.
If you’ve just gotten herpes and you are in a ton of pain physically and emotionally, I know what you are going through.
Sometimes when I look back I think it’s the physical pain that is the most. And then there are other times I think, no, it’s the emotional pain. Regardless they are both there and you are probably feeling something that you have never felt before.
First of all, I want you to take a deep breath and know that everything is going to be okay. I know it doesn’t feel that way but you will get through this. Remember, every storm runs out of rain.
I’ve been getting lots of questions like; will sweat cause an outbreak, will friction cause an outbreak, will HITT cause me to get an outbreak, professional bodybuilders have asked questions about pre workout and so on.
Yes, of course you can. But before you hit the sheets with your partner let’s talk about some details first.
One of the biggest fears or thoughts are about having sex when you’ve been diagnosed with herpes is that you’ll have to use a condom for the rest of your life.
Our biggest fear, once we’re diagnosed, is dating. It’s the fear of rejection, it’s the how do I disclose, do I need to disclose and so on. All of these feelings questions and emotions are valid and an important part of the herpes journey.
So yes, there are some things you can do to help manage your herpes outbreaks and/or feed your herpes outbreak. In other blog posts I talk about lifestyle, supplements and why people get outbreaks. So today I’m going to talk about foods that feed outbreaks and why.
Why me? This is something I asked myself for years. I would sit crying wondering why this happened to me. What did I do to deserve this? I couldn’t think of anything worse than getting diagnosed with herpes.
This is something that I felt was so important to put together and I really wish it was something that I could have walked away with when I was diagnosed. I wish that Dr. would have said, "there is this great online community called Life with Herpes and there is an Outbreak Toolkit that has everything you need to know about herpes.”
If your first outbreak was anything like mine you’re wondering like me: how people could not know they had herpes or at least something going on down there.
Recently on social media someone commented on my live and said that if I hadn’t been so promiscuous I wouldn't have gotten herpes.
There’s a lot of ways we can dissect this comment. Also, instead of going off on this man, I used it as a learning opportunity to talk about how promiscuity has nothing to do with.
This especially happens when you are first diagnosed with herpes. You hang up the phone from your doctor and then are like now what. Who do I talk to? What do I do? The worst thing is to start googling herpes and looking at the pictures. Eek! And then the second worse thing is to sit in your worry and let it consume you.
I just opened up my schedule and added more days. I’m here for you Monday - Thursday.
The herpes test is not included in the STI panel. So even if you’re a responsible sexually active adult and you ask your doctor for every STI test, most likely herpes will not be included in the herpes test.
Not including the herpes test on the STI panel is part of the problem on why there are so many people getting herpes, why so many people don’t know they have it and why we have a huge ugly stigma around people who have herpes.
👉Herpes diagnosis
Get a quick, confidential diagnosis here: http://bit.ly/herpalertdiagnosis (use promo code “lifewithherpes” to save 10%)
In case you don’t know it, I’m married and my husband does not have herpes!
This comes as a shock to a lot of people. I don’t think it’s the married part but the part that my husband doesn’t have herpes.
Personally I love the woodsy smell and this is something that I use daily. I use it out of the shower and always before going to bet. I live in Las Vegas so my skin is always needing some hydration and this lotion leaves myskin feeling silky and nourished. Not to mention I emotionally feel at ease.
So there are two types of herpes. Well, actually there are way more but in this setting we really only care about two types. Herpes type 1 and herpes type 2.
So what are the differences and why is it important that we talk about it?
Food is way more important than we think. It has to ability to heal your body or make you sick. This was something that I didn’t really realize until I was diagnosed with herpes. I mean I always tried to eat healthy and more or less I was healthy but it wasn’t until I got herpes that I completely turned myself around and started really caring what was going in my body.
This was the first product that we came out with. You guys were asking for something that was over the counter, natural and could help speed up recovery of an oral herpes outbreak.
Our organic, lip balm has ingredients known to treat herpes outbreaks, lessen inflammation and soothe your lips.
I was stuck in the Eeyore Phase for 2 years. It was awful, painful, yet something that I needed to go through.
With all that being said, I have no desire for you to go through this PTSD for 2 years and that is why I’ve created this community, platform and all the content.
Honestly, this is great news. This person really cares about you and is doing what he or she can do to try to prevent transmission. Transmissions occur less often when a disclosure takes place because the person with herpes can take precautionary methods to help avoid transmission.
But here are 5 things you need to know about dating someone with herpes
This soap jam is packed with beneficial ingredients to combat a herpes outbreak, meanwhile cleaning your body and leaving your skin feeling delicate and soft.
This is something that we all ask as soon as we are diagnosed. When we find out that the answer is no. We then ask, why not?
What I love about the Everyday Soothing Oil is that it’s small but very mighty. It can fit in my purse, my overnight kit, or in my desk drawer. I can take it with me on the run when I have an outbreak.
Shop Everyday Soothing Oil
https://www.lifewithherpes.com/shop-everyday-soothing-oil
There are a ton of myths and misinformation out there when it comes to herpes and actually living with herpes. We all have had our preconceived notions and ideas of what someone with herpes looks like, acts like and how he or she got herpes. We all made jokes at it and believed that it would never happen to us.
HSV-2 infection is more common among women than among men; the percentages of those infected during 2015-2016 were 15.9% versus 8.2% respectively, among 14 to 49-year-olds.
So, what are the common genital herpes symptoms in women?
Our all natural lube is designed to heighten pleasure and also play. Adding CBD to the lube in some people can delightful increase sensitivity as well as aid in relaxation. Adding CBD to the lube can also be beneficial for people who might experience pain during sex, in other words this is a perfect recipe for more pleasure and may lead to better orgasms.
Experiencing anxiety here and there is 100% normal. We have times that we are freaking out. When I researched the word anxiety this is what I got back; Experiencing occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. However, people with anxiety disorders frequently have intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Often, anxiety disorders involve repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes. So here are some tips I’ve learned over the years with dealing with herpes outbreaks.
Here me out on this one. I know you’re not believing me if you were just diagnosed with herpes. And I didn’t see it that way at all back in 2011. I’ve talked to thousands of people who have been diagnosed with herpes and it always starts out the same way. It starts out as, my life is over and how do I cure this. I’ve talked to people who are suicidal, (here’s the hotline if this is where you’re at 800-273-8255). Basically, I’ve seen all levels of devastation from a herpes diagnosis.
We’ve added some of my favorites like tea tree oil, citrus oils and chamomile oil mixed with some soothing oils and my favorite ingredient CBD. Tea Tree oil is known for being anti-inflammatory and is known as an antiviral agent that can assist with the recovery of open wounds or sores. Citrus oils such as orange and lemon add balancing and calming properties and promote skin health. This moisturizing oil supports skin health, wound healing, meanwhile balancing and calming your nervous system. Tea Tree, chamomile, and citrus oils combine together to leave you feeling renewed and smelling fresh.
Rejection as a whole is a legit fear. It sucks, it hurts and we feel like we’re failures. We just put our heart or effort into something to have it not work out.
I got genital herpes when I was 28. I had had my heart broken 3 times before turning 28 and none of it had to do with herpes. Each time I cried, drank wine with my girl friends and then eventually got back into the dating world. Basically I got back on horse.
I didn’t know if I wanted to have kids but one of the first questions I asked my doctor when I was diagnosed with herpes was, “can I still have a baby”?
Some of the things I want to cover are: pregnancy and delivery, fears, precautions and how we handle it day to day.
This is by far one of the best things you can do for yourself ever…not to mention especially when you have a herpes outbreak.
Okay so now you’re diagnosed with Herpes and you want to do everything possible to prevent the next outbreak or if you get one speed up the recovery time and lessen the severity of it, right?
Let's see what supplements can do for you.
The amount of times that I get asked about having oral herpes down there is astonishing. I mean that not in an ignorant way but in a way that so many people are now getting oral herpes down there.
Before being diagnosed with herpes we have so many misconceptions about who has herpes and what it is like living with herpes. Honestly, most of them are myths. I'll go through some myths that I had and I’d love to hear what yours are.
There are essential oils that can help with wound repair, soothe skin, help with pain, that are antiviral and even disrupt the herpes virus. Add other calming and nourishing ingredients to help with anti- inflammatory and beneficial outcomes and here comes Rescue Balm!
Now that we’ve received the diagnosis we’re living with herpes. There are probably so many questions running through your head and not to mention they are scary.
There is nothing that prepares you for the phone call you get from your doctor, or the email or even the in visit check up when your doctor says, “you have herpes”.
Most of us are shocked, deer in the headlights, frozen, and probably end up crying.
Alexandra talks with Amanda Neely, a founder of Grandmas Wealth Wisdom and they share how the overwhelming struggles with herpes and financial debt can actually be extremely similar and how are they holding us back.
Alexandra Harbushka and Caroline Goodner of Femiclear talk about Herpes treatments and how to cope with your diagnosis, so you heal your body and your mind faster.
To Connect with Alexandra - https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka/
Read More on Life With Herpes HERE
For Detailed Show Notes click HERE
Subscribe to the Life With Herpes Newsletter click HERE
In this podcast, Alexandra Harbushka from Life With Herpes interviews Damon Sununtnasuk from Natural Cure Labs about Monolaurin and other ways to support your immune system with fighting Herpes outbreaks and other viral infections.
To Connect with Alexandra - https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka/
Read More on Life With Herpes HERE
For Detailed Show Notes click HERE
Subscribe to the Life With Herpes Newsletter click HERE
In this episode Alexandra Harbushka interviews Dr. Aziz Gazipura the world’s leading confidence expert. He teaches people how to learn confidence so they can eliminate self-doubt, hesitation and social anxiety and master conversations, accelerate in their careers, and create deeply fulfilling relationships. On this episode Dr. Aziz gives dating tips when it comes to dating with confidence even with a herpes diagnosis.
For direct link to the TellYour Partner Toolkit click HERE
To Connect with Alexandra - https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka/
Read More on Life With Herpes HERE
For Detailed Show Notes click HERE
Subscribe to the Life With Herpes Newsletter click HERE
In this episode Bill Gaylord, my husband opens up about what it was like for me to disclose, date and now be married to someone who had herpes. He shares his initial thoughts on herpes and how it plays a role in our marriage.
For direct link to The Life With Herpe Retreat https://www.lifewithherpes.com/retreat and for the Tell Your Partner Toolkit click HERE
To Connect with Alexandra - https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka/
Read More on Life With Herpes HERE
For Detailed Show Notes click HERE
Subscribe to the Life With Herpes Newsletter click HERE
Welcome to the LIfe With Herpes show. Today I sat down with one of our Life With Herpes Secret Society members, Jenna Roberts. This was a huge deal for both of us and probably a bigger deal for Jenna. This is the first time I’ve had one of our community members on the show (yay) and this was Jenna’s way of stepping into her power and owning her herpes diagnosis!
Jenna talks about her herpes diagnosis and how she was emotionally devastated when she got the news from her doctor. She says she was mortified and filled with shame and embarrassment. In her mind there was no way she was ever going to get over this shameful secret and there was no way she’d ever be able to tell anyone that she has herpes. Jenna talks about how she tried to ignore that she had herpes by covering up her emotions which created a destructive lifestyle and the misery just continued to build.
Hear about her journey to acceptance and empowerment and more!
To Connect with Alexandra - https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka/
Read More on Life With Herpes HERE
For Detailed Show Notes click HERE
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One of the common questions I get from the community has to do with oral sex. Oral sex is kind of left out of the equasion when we’re talking about sex, sex education or sexual health. Typically what comes to mind when we talk about sex is just the plane old hederosexual vaginal sex. And then when we talk about safe sex or even in sex ed classes, oral sex is kinda just left out. It’s like it’s not really considered sex.
Ok so here’s the deal, you can get herpes from having oral sex!
This might be an oh sh!the moment for you or it’s a moment that explains it all. Regardless we need to talk about oral sex and how herpes is just as contagious with oral sex as it is with regualr old sex.
Before you panic I’m going to cut to the point and say that yes, you can still give and recieve oral sex with your herpes diagnosis but here’s the deal you’re still putting your partner at risk. Let me explain.
Just a quick herpes 101, so herpes is contagious by skin to skin transmission. That means that if someone has herpes on their mouth, either HSV 1 or HSV 2, and they use their mouth to come into contact with someone who does not have herpes then they have just potentially transmitted the virus. The same goes for genital herpes, if someone has genital herpes, either HSV 1 or HSV 2, and their genitals come into contact with someone who does not have the virus then they have potentially put their partner at risk.
Here’s how herpes is NOT transmitted. If someone has oral herpes and does not use their mouth to come into contact with someone. So basically you can have vaginal or anal sex you are not putting your partner at risk. Or the flip if you have genital herpes you can use you rmouth all you want and you are not putting your partner at risk.
Just because you have the herpes virus in your body it doesn’t mean that your entire body is contagious. It’s just the area where you get outbreaks. Also, this is very important to bring up that just because you have HSV 1 it does not mean that it’s oral herpes and just because you have HSV 2 it does not mean you have genital herpes. I go into details here about it.
So back to oral sex and herpes. Let’s be clear and break it down. If you have oral herpes and perform oral sex then you are putting your partner at risk of getting genital herpes. On the flip side if you have oral hereps you can recive oral sex and not worry that you will transmit it to your partner.
Here are ways to have oral sex even though you have herpes.
- First and foremost you need to tell your partner. Cold sores are herpes and can be transmitted to your partner and you can give them genialt herpes. After you’ve talked about this with your partner then the both of you can decide what you want to do moving forward.
- To protect your partner and yourself for that matter you guys can decide to use dental dams or condoms to reduce the transmission risk
Once you have talked to your partner and you both have a game plan then enjoy. In my personal relationship with my husband we both give and recive oral sex and do not use condoms or dental dams. It’s because we’re both aware of the risks and we’re both ok with the outcomes. If I’m feeling like maybe something is up then we don’t do it, it’s as simple as that.
Here's the deal and why I want to talk about this. It’s not to scare you and make you feel like you can never give or recieve oral sex again. Please don’t put yourself in that position. It’s not fair to you or your partner. What I want you to know is that oral sex is sex and you can give or recieve STI’s wich includeds herpes just as easily as you can having sex. Infact, in my opinion you’re more at risk with oral sex becase we’re not taught about this in sexed and when we don’t have a condom we typically turn to oral sex for an alturnative. I want you to know the facts so that you and your partner can move forward with safe sex practices that work for the both of you.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
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Herpes has been around since humans have walked this earth. The fact is we have to learn to live with this virus. What’s odd about this is as a culture we’ve decided that this virus is dirty and one of the worst things we could catch. With that being said, as a society we really don’t even know that much about herpes and it’s probably because we choose not to. I mean, we’ve made this herpes thing out to be worse than the boogie monster under your bed.
With that being said whether you have herpes or not there’s someone close to you that you love who does so here’s 3 things you need to know.
⅔ people have HSV 1 and ⅙ people have HSV 2
So with that being said the majority of the population has herpes. The funny thing is that when you get herpes you become the majority not the majority. We’re made to believe that because we have herpes we’re the only person in the world who has herpes and no bode ever will understand or want to be with us. But the truth is that 84% of the population has herpes.
You can transmit it without an outbreak (yikes)
This is very important to know. The old saying was that you could only transmit herpes if you had an outbreak. Well has science has evolved and we’ve learned more about viral shedding, we now know that it’s possible to transmit herpes without an outbreak. In fact, about 70 percent of transmissions occur during asymptomatic periods, says James Whiteside, an obstetrician/gynecologist at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine.
Yes, when you have an outbreak you’re the most contagious and when you don’t have an outbreak you’re the least contgouse. But there’s this thing called viral shedding and when that occurs you’re contagious. Here’s the catch, the person doesn’t know when viral shedding occurs. There’s no signs or symptoms of an outbreak. So this is why it’s very important that you disclose to your partner about your herpes diagnosis. I go way more into detail on viral shedding here.
You can have a sex life
We all think that our sex life is now over because we have herpes. That is so far from the truth. Just because you have herpes does not mean that you’re less desirable or need to become celebate for the rest of your life. All that having herpes means is that you have to have a conversation with your partner about having herpes. Both you and your partner need to come to an agreement and decide what best methods you want to use to prevent transmission. That’s it. I talk a ton about sex and herpes here, here, and here.
At the end of the day, I want to make sure that we know how common herpes is and how we’re so not alone because we have herpes. Also, that having herpes does not need to change your life or make you feel like you need to take a back seat to your dreams. All that herpes means is that you get an outbreak here and there and when that happens it’s a reminder for you to take a little better care of yourself.
I’d love to hear what you think so feel free to reach out.
The quick answer is no! You can absolulty have unprotected sex even if you have herpes. Before we dive deep and go into explanation on this let’s talk about how this is a huge myth and is one of the drivers for the stigma.
When we are diagnosed and told that we have herpes we automatically think that we’re going to be forced to use condoms for the rest of our lives, even when we’re married. Yuck! And this is not true. Yes, condoms are great! They do a great job at preventing pregnancy and they do an okay job at preventing the transmission of herpes. Condoms definitely have their pros and thank goodness we have them. But let’s face it, there comes a time in a relationship when you don’t want to “have to” use one. I get it.
Here’s the deal with condoms. Like I mentioned before they are great at preventing pregnancy in fact they’re 98% effective when used correctly. And when it comes to preventing herpes transmission they are 30-50% effective when used correctly. So this great news but it also explains why if you always used a condom why you still got herpes. Condoms don’t cover all of the body parts. I mean you’re pretty exposed still and herpes doesn’t just show up in the areas that are covered by the condom. Herpes can be on a mans scrotum, at the base where the condom doesn’t cover or in any area around the genital region. Same thing for women, herpes is not just in the vaginal canal or around the opening. It can be anyplace in her genital region.
The best method out there for reducing the risk of transmission is actually when the person who’s infected takes the antiviral. Yep, the antiviral cuts down on transmission by 48%. This is far more effective than a condom because the antiviral keeps the herpes virus dormant in your system.
So, what this boils down to and what this means in reducing the risk of transmission is you need to have a conversation with your partner about having herpes. They need to know and they need to make their own decision about when the condom comes off. Really this conversation needs to be had with our without herpes but we’re specifically talking about herpes. You and your partner need to talk about what precautions you’re going to take to reduce the transmission and what you both feel comfortable with.
Go out there have fun and talk to your partner!!!
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
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Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
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This is one of our biggest fears when we find out we have herpes. The last thing we want is to pass it to someone else and have them experience what we went through. I mean it’s physically painful and emotionally painful.
One of the aspects I like to bring up is normally when we’re diagnosed with herpes it came to us by surprise. Either our partner didn’t tell us or our partner didn’t know. Either way it’s a surprise. So when we’re diagnosed we’re in shock wondering how this happened, we’re physically in pain and want some relief and then we’re pissed! We’re so angry at our partners for not disclosing or not telling us.
Moving forward when we’re in a new relationship and going to become sexually active with a partner who doesn’t have herpes the transmission is a huge fear! I get it and it’s a valid concern.
Personally, I’ve never given a partner herpes so I can’t speak from personal experience. But I do know that this was something I was extremely worried about in a past relationship. I can remember taking the antiviral before going over to his house because I’d get so worried that if I felt something or a tingle then it would be the onset of an outbreak. I would totally stress myself out over it. Maybe it was because it was my first relationship with a new partner or maybe it was because he and I didn’t communicate that much about it. I’m not too sure.
Here’s what I’ve learned going forward with my husband as well as what I tell members in our community. My husband, Bill, is very aware that I have herpes. I mean it’s what I do for a living so clearly he knows. Lol. But in all seriousness he knows what the risks are, he knows what herpes is all about and he trusts me to have a conversation with him letting him know if and when I have an outbreak. The bottom line is it’s his decision to have sex and it’s his dicision to take that risk.
This is what I want you to work with. If you’ve disclosed to your partner and he or she knows that you have herpes and you both were in agreement of the best ways to prevent transmission for example condoms or antiviral etc and the transmission still occurred then you have to let go of that guilt. You told them, you both decided on the best method and it still happened. At the end of the day it was their decision and you didn’t make it for them.
I like to use the analogy of a car. So let’s say you’re the perfect driver. You get you oil changed, you have new tires, your car is cared for and up to the safety standards. Then you as the driver wear your seat belt, are not under the influence, not using your cell phone and following all the traffic rules. Just because you do all of that does not prevent you from getting in an accident. Yes, you were doing everything you could do to reduce your risk but it’s still possible for a car to run a red light or a car to forget to stop or whatever. Basically this is the same as the possibility of transmission of herpes. You’re doing everything you can to protect your partner but he or she took on the risk and the transmission still happen.
Forgive yourself, communicate with your partner and know that it was their choice.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
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These herpes myths will surprise you. I know they sure did for me. The reason why there’s a stigma against herpes is because of all the myths out there. We say that someone was irresponsible and that's why they have herpes. We say that people were promiscuous and that’s why they have herpes. We think that condoms will protect you from getting herpes and so on.
Really what this all boils down to is the lack of education about herpes and the snickering that continues about herpes and STI’s.
The truth is that 84% of people have herpes. You can’t say that 84% of the population were irresponsible or promiscuous or that their sex life is over. The truth is that we as humans get herpes by enjoying life and by spending time with other people. You don’t have to have sex to get herpes and you really can’t tell who has it.
I want to break down the 10 most common myths that are associated with herpes. If you have herpes you should keep reading and if you don’t have herpes you should keep reading also. Chances are there’s someone out there you love and care about who has it.
Herpes is not included in the STD panel This is not true. You actually have to ask for a herpes test. Other STI’s like chlamydia and gonorrhea and HIV are included but not herpes. There are many different theories and reasons for this. Some doctors feel that the aftermath of knowing you have herpes is far worse than the actual outbreak. Others feel that it’s so common so why test. Regardless, you have to speak up and ask for the test.
Promiscuous people get herpes This idea of being promiscuous or a slut or sleeping around really needs to be put to rest. I mean yes the more people you come in contact with the more exposure you have to the virus. However, that thought or stigma does not apply to everyone with the herpes virus. Most of the people I talk to who have herpes got it from a committed relationship. Most of the time the person with herpes did not know they had herpes and unknowingly passed it to their partner.
Oral herpes is different than genital herpes This particular one really erks me. Herpes is herpes! HSV 1 is herpes and HSV 2 is herpes. There is no good herpes or bad herpes. You did not do something right or wrong. HSV 1 is typically oral herpes however HSV 1 is becoming really common in the genial region. What this means is the majority of people with oral herpes think they’re different or put in a better category because they don’t have the “bad herpes”. This is total BS!
Antiviral will cure your herpes The good news and bad news about viruses is that they are in your body for life. So in some cases this is great, like with a cold or the flu. In other cases this is annoying like with herpes. So taking an antiviral will not “cure you” or get rid of herpes for good. What it does is the antiviral works really well at keeping the virus dormant in your body and prevents outbreaks as well as lesses the chance of transmission. I talk more about antivirals here. So at the end of the day you’ll have this virus for the rest of your life and you will be contagious when the virus is active.
Your sex life is over This is a big one and most of us think this when we’re diagnosed. It’s totally not true and you can absolutly have sex again and be in a loving relationship. Herpes has nothing to do with it. Having herpes does require you to discuss your diagnosis with a partner and it might require some extra protection or communication but that’s it.
If you're in a relationship and just found out you have herpes then it means that your partner cheated on you. This is always what we think and having a conversation with your partner is crucial. Here’s the deal, typical transmission occurs within 2 weeks however that’s not always the case. You can become infected with the herpes virus and it can lay dormant in your body for weeks, months or even years. So in this situation, your partner or spouse could have come into contact with it years ago and it just now it popping up.
Condoms fully protect you from herpes I’m all about using condoms as protection so I’m not discouraging you from using them. But a condom only covers a portion of a man’s genital area and during sex there’s more square feet that’s coming into contact. You know what I mean? Also, we don’t always use the condom during the entire sexual experience. There’s foreplay where there’s not a condom used and also oral sex where condoms are typically not used. Basically what I’m saying is there’s lots of opportunities for skin to skin contact and herpes to infect a partner.
It’s obvious to tell if someone has herpes You can not tell if someone has herpes. It’s not like a look or a classification or a smell or anything for that matter. The only way you’d be able to tell is if they had an outbreak happening however even with that it might look different than what you’re thinking or be in a funny spot where you can’t really see it. So in other words, doing body check before you have sex doesn’t work. The only way to know is if the person is diagnosed by a doctor.
You’re only contagious when you have an outbreak This was what we originally thought back in the day when it came to herpes. However, now that we’ve done so much more research on the virus and have a better understanding we know that there’s this thing called viral shedding. When this occurs we’re contagious and can transmit herpes to a partner. The catch is we don’t know when the virus is shedding because there is no sign or symptom of the virus. I talk more about viral shedding here if you want to know more.
If you don’t get herpes outbreaks then you don’t have herpes This is another huge myth out there and one of the reasons why herpes is being transmitted so often. The majority of people with herpes are asymptomatic which means that they don’t get outbreaks. Lucky them right!?!? But here’s the catch, they’re still herpes positive and can still transmit the virus to a partner. Back to the viral shedding thing. The other downside to this is that if you don’t have outbreaks then you’re probably not getting tested and don’t know you have it. So you’re unknowingly exposing your partner to herpes.
So as you can see there’s tons of myths out there that we all play into or believe what we want to believe because we it helps our situation. It’s so easy to believe that if you always use a condom then you won’t get herpes or it’s easy to put yourself in a situation of not finding a partner because you have herpes and think that nobody will want you. It requires you to educate yourself on the herpes virus and have conversations with your partners.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished I knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
Ok I’m sure you’re reading this going...what are you crazy!?! Before you start wondering about transmission and how this is going to work out let me calm you down and explain.
Sex doesn’t have to mean vaginal sex. That’s typically what we think of when we hear the words sex. It’s pretty conventional and socially we’ve been programed to think of sex as vaginal intercouse. Well, there are many other ways to be intimate with your partner and avoiding your outbreak.
Let me talk about my relationship for a bit. As of writing this, my husband and I have been together for 5 years, we have sex regularly and he does not have herpes. Me having herpes, does not get in the way of our relationship, our marriage, or our sex life. We’ve found ways to get around it when I have those pesky outbreaks or when I feel like they’re coming on.
In case you’re wondering how I haven't transmitted herpes to my husband I attribute it to being very open when it comes to communication. I let him know if I feel like something is going on or if I have an outbreak and when it’s all healed up. We do not use condoms nor am I on the antiviral so it really boils down to communication. I talk about the best methods of reducing transmission in other episodes so if you’re interested in that topic you can go here.
But what I’m wanting to get at here is that there are other ways to be intimate that doesn’t involve vaginal intercourse. There’s oral sex, there’s masturbation and there’s the use of toys.
Let’s quickly review how transmission occurs. It’s skin to skin transmission with the location of the outbreak.
So here’s an example, if you have oral herpes and have an outbreak on you mouth then would want to refrain from using your mouth and coming into contact with someone who is not infected. In other words, if you have an oral outbreak you can have vaginal or anal sex and receive oral sex but not perform oral sex. Make sense? Kissing or performing oral sex on your partner would put them at risk of contracting herpes.
Another example, if a man has an outbreak on his penis then he would want to prevent his penis from coming into contact with his partner. So in this case, he could perform oral sex on his partner and depending on where the outbreak is located he could potentially masturbation.
So do you get where I’m going here? You have to get creative and sometimes that can be different and fun. It gets you out of your normal sex rhythm and forces you and your partner to communicate and get creative. Yes, maybe it’s not sexual penetration but hey, you’re still intimate with your partner and you both can still share in the fun and pleasure. Outbreaks only last for a few days and they go away, don’t let an outbreak dictate or get in the way of you and your partner enjoying one another.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished I knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
You probably have herpes and you’re not alone.
When you get diagnosed with herpes you feel like you’re all alone and the only person in the world with herpes. Well guess what!!! You’re now the majority. Yes, the majority of people have herpes. In fact 84% of the world population has herpes.
Let’s break that down for you...
First let’s talk about the United States and people with herpes. I pulled up numbers from the census and data from the Center of Disease Control to get as exact as we can. Unfortunately the CDC only had numbers of people from the ages of 14-49 with herpes. Now we know that there are plenty more people with herpes that are over 49 but we have to go with the numbers and data that’s provided.
In the US there are 112,806,642 people in the US between 18-44. Of people aged 14-49 in the U.S., 47.8% have HSV-1 and 11.9% have HSV-2. Or if you want to total the percentage of people with herpes both type 1 & 2 it’s 59.7%. That’s a lot of people and remember we’re not even including people 50 or above.
Here it is broken down into numbers instead of looking at it as a percent. There are 53,921,574.90 people with HSV 1 and 13,423,990.40 people with HSV 2. This totals to be 67,345,565.30 people with HSV in the US between the ages of 18-44. Again that’s a ton of people!
I’ve also included graphs and more data breaking it down to type 1 & 2 as well as the age, race, and sex. I found this pretty fascinating and I think you will.
Data from the CDC
Ok so now let’s talk about the world population with herpes. The information that I can find on numbers are that ⅙ or 17% of the population has HSV 2 and ⅔ or 67% of the population has HSV 1. This means that 84% of the population has HSV either HSV 1 or HSV 2. Unfortunately there are no cool graphs and data on this that break it down so I had to look at this with some rough numbers. There are 7.53 billion people in the world. So that means that 17% or 128,010,000 have HSV 2 and 67% or 504,510,000 have HSV 1. This totals to 632,520,000 in the world with either HSV 1 or 2. These numbers are astonishing.
You are so not alone. The only reason why you feel alone is because nobody is talking about it. We’ve been made to feel like we are carrying an awful secret or we’re bad people for living life. As you can see from these numbers that the majority of the population has herpes. Feel free to use this information while disclosing or sharing it with others. Educating people on herpes is the best way to stop the stigma.
Don’t let having herpes stop you from living your life and following your dreams. Go out and crush it!!!
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished I knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
You get the call from your doctor saying you have herpes and they’ll fill your prescription.
Eek… right?
Here’s the deal. Take the antiviral. Chances are you’re in pain and feel horrible and all you want is for your outbreak to go away. Getting that antiviral in your system ASAP is the best thing you can do. In fact, the soon you get it in your system on the onset of an outbreak, the sooner your outbreak will clear up. I’ve heard of people being too embarrassed to go to the pharmacist to pick up the antiviral, don’t be. Seriously they medication will be a god send and get you feeling better.
A quick note, however, you don’t need the antiviral to recover. Unlike having say strep throat or some other type of bacterial infection where you need an antibiotic to get better you don’t need the antiviral your outbreak will clear up on it’s own but it will take a lot longer. Also, a quick disclosure, herpes is a viral infection so you will never get rid of it. Taking the antiviral does not “cure” you or get rid of herpes. It just clears up the current infection you have right now. If you want more information on herpes you can go here where I break it way down.
Let’s cover herpes medications and break them down into 2 categories. A pill and a topical cream.
The Antiviral Pills: 1. Acyclovir (brand name Zovirax): The oldest antiviral medication for herpes is acyclovir. It has been available since 1985 in pill form. Acyclovir has been shown to be safe in people who have used it continuously (every day) for as long as 10 years. 2. Valacyclovir (brand name Valterx): A newer drug, valacyclovir, actually uses acyclovir as its active ingredient. This medication delivers acyclovir more efficiently so that the body absorbs much of the drug, which has the advantage of taking the medication fewer times during the day. 3. Famciclovir (brand name Famvir): Famciclovir uses penciclovir as its active ingredient to stop HSV from replicating. Like valacyclovir, it is well absorbed, persists for a longer time in the body, and can be taken less frequently than acyclovir.
The Topical Antiviral: 1. Acyclovir ointment (brand name Zovirax®) 2. Penciclovir cream (brand name Denavir®)
Both work to speed up the healing process and reduce the viral activity. These topical drugs are put directly on the lesions themselves, but can also be used at the onset of prodrome.
As you’ve seen me mention “branded” and “generic” basically what that means is the brand name was typically what the drug companies came out with when the drug came on the market. And the generic has the same ingredients and works in the same way but does not carry the brand name. Usually branded drugs are more expensive and generic are less expensive. It doesn’t really matter which one you take and they will do the trick. Of course, if you’re having side effects or issues with one drug or the other then you’ll want to talk to your doctor and have him or her prescribe another option.
Also, other questions I get are about why one drug over the other drug etc. A lot of time it has to do with your insurance and which one they will cover as well as which one your doctor prefers. Again, if you have issues with one or your outbreaks are not clearing up then talk to your doctor and see what can be done. The good news here is that you have options!
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
Disclosing is one of the things that we fear the most when we’re diagnosed with herpes. There’s so much that we wrap up into dating and wanting to feel desired and now with a herpes diagnosis we are fearful that we’ll get rejected. We either don’t disclose because we’re so caught up in the stigma and with the fear of rejection or we just got caught up in the moment and didn’t get a chance to disclose. Ok this happens...I get it but let’s look at some possible consequences of not disclosing.
Here’s what happens when you don’t disclose you have herpes: Your partner is at a higher risk of getting herpes Yep, this is true. Lots of times we think out of sight and out of mind, however that’s not the case with the herpes virus. This virus works a little different. While you are most contagious when you have outbreaks and if you expose someone to the virse with an outbreak you’re probably going to transmit it. But the thing is with the HSV virus is that you can still transmit it when you have no symptoms at all! Yikes! This is due to what’s called viral shedding. We talk more about viral shedding here so go check it out. By telling your partner about your herpes diagnosis your protecting your partner more because you guys can come up with the best plan for safe sex. Without having the conversation you’re just putting your partner at risk without their knowledge and at the end of the day it doesn’t feel really sexy.
A Lack of Trust Here’s what I’ve learned in life is that at the end of the day the truth will always come out. And in this particular situation they way the truth can come out is your partner potentially getting an outbreak or they see your prescription for the antivirals in your medicine cabinet or their bff mentions it while they’re drunk. Whatever the situation is, it can happen and then there’s a bigger problem. The bigger problem isn’t that now your partner had herpes but it’s that there’s a huge lack of trust. This can lead to breakups, an unhealthy relationship and your partner wondering what else you’re hiding. None of this is good and it could have been prevented by having the conversation upfront.
You Live with The Guilt Here’s the thing, we’re talking about this because I don’t want you to be living with guilt or shame. The last thing you want in your relationship is secrets and feel like you have to keep them. If you’re in the situation of not disclosing to your partner and don’t know how to approach it then the best way is to lead with the truth. I get that it’s a super hard conversation to have. Personally when I’ve been in situations where the truth is hard or I need to apologize for something I’ve done the best way to lead is with your heart and your vulnerability. When the person you care about sees how much it’s eating you up and how much you want to set it right there will be compassion. This is something we talk about almost weekly in the Secret Society weekly Support Group calls as well as if this is something you want to talk about privately then we can set up an Emergency Call.
This is all really deep stuff and trust me I get where you’re at. Sending you big hugs and tons of support!
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Xoxo,
Alexandra
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If you don’t have herpes then hearing that everyone has herpes virus probably just freaked you out!
Well, it’s true that everyone has a herpes virus and it’s nothing to be worried about. You’re going to be just fine. Promise.
We’ve been living with these dang herpes viruses for as long as humans have been walking on this earth. The herpes virus want to survive as much as we do and they’ve done a pretty good job at it.
Let me explain.
There are more than 100 known herpes viruses out there! Yep 100! The good news is that there are really only 8 that infects us as humans. Here’s the list and I’d bet you have more than one of them:
- herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV) or commonly known as cold sores or fever blisters
- herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV) commonly known as genital herpes
- Varicella-zoster virus (VZV) or commonly known as chickenpox or shingles
- cytomegalovirus is very common and doesn’t really have any symptoms
- Epstein-Barr virus or commonly known as mononucleosis or mono and the Symptoms include fatigue, fever, rash, and swollen glands.
- human herpesvirus 6 or commonly known as HHV and infects nearly 100% of human beings, typically before the age of three and often results in fever, diarrhea, sometimes with a rash known as roseola.
- human herpesvirus 7 or commonly known as HHV has symptoms including acute febrile respiratory disease, fever, rash, vomiting, diarrhea, low lymphocyte counts, and febrile seizures, though most often no symptoms present at all.
- Kaposi's sarcoma virus or human herpesvirus 8 include symptoms that are lesions on the skin: flat, painless spots that are red or purple on white skin and bluish, brownish, or black on dark skin.
Ok so heres the deal. You have 1 or 2 or 3 or many of the herpes virus that are living with us humans. The only one that causes us to freak out or make us believe that we did something wrong is herpes or HSV 1 or 2. So why is it that getting chicken pox or mono doesn’t make us feel like we’re a leper? My guess it’s all a marketing stunt that was put into place to sell the antiviral, valtrex. The pharma companies need a compelling story to convince people that then needed this antiviral in order to continue to live a normal life. And yes, it’s 100% BS. You don’t need the antiviral to live a normal life, yes it helps heal the outbreaks faster but thats really it.
But back to the 8 herpes viruses and how we all have many of them and we all freak out about getting genital herpes or oral herpes. It really does get me going when you hear people cringe or have an eww attitude towards people with herpes when I know that they have herpes viruses too. Oh and 80% of the people with HSV don’t even know they have it.
The reason why this is important to you, someone living with either oral or genital herpes, is that you can educate the person who stereotypes you or calls you names. Ask them if they have ever had mono or the chicken pox or cold sores. I can guarantee you they’ve had one or all of them.
The truth is you have herpes viruses and that’s just fine. Chickenpox or mono doesn’t define you’re life so why should you let HSV 1 or 2 define your life. What? It’s because you feel like nobody else has it or nobody will date you? It’s total BS and all that it is is a stupid virus that gives you some blisters here and there. That’s it!
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Xoxo,
Alexandra
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Will herpes impact your child's health? There’s been a lot of parents or people who want to become parents recently asked about their kids. When were diagnosed with herpes were worried that we could potentially pass this to someone we love and of course accidentally to our kids.
I want to cover the facts and how you can prevent transmission to your kids.
Over the years I’ve had people reach out to me with questions and of course stories when it comes to herpes and their kids. I’ve had parents not hug or kiss their kids because they didn’t want to pass it to their child. Or I had a dad say he never got in the swimming pool with his kids because he was worried his kids would catch it. THe stories go on and on and it truly saddens me to hear that parents are missing out on such tender moments with their children.
So let’s get down to it and talk about herpes and your kids.
Let's start at the beginning and cover what herpes is and how it’s transmitted. I go into this in real depth here but here's the cliff notes. There’s HSV 1 which is typically oral and HSV 2 which is typically genital however they are interchangeable and they both can go to either region. If your infected only orally then you can not transmit herpes genitally and vise versa. Herpes is most contagious via skin to skin but also the virus can be spread by sharing glasses, utensils, towels and washcloths or anything else that you can think of that would come in contact with the virus and then be shared with someone else. Again. I cover this a ton in other episodes so go check them out.
Let’s start at the very beginning of your child's life, and talk about the risks of having a mother who’s infected with herpes. I cover this also in other episodes so you can go here for the full breakdown. If the mother does not have a herpes outbreak at the time of delivery and she delivers vaginally then there’s a less than 1% chance of the baby contracting herpes. The good news is this is very low and it’s important that you communicate your herpes diagnosis with your doctor and come up with a birth plan that works for you.
Ok so what happens if the baby contracts herpes at birth? Well it can be dangerous because the baby doesn’t have the immune system and the strength to really fight it. Here’s a list of the complications that can occur if a newborn picks up the virus. They can be severe and life-threatening symptoms, including:
- Fatal organ damage, including the liver, lungs, and heart
- Serious viral infections, such as viral meningitis
- Recurrent sores on the skin, eyes, genitals, or mouth
- Blindness
- Deafness
- Seizures
Something to make sure you as a parent are aware of is this is for both HSV 1 & 2. In other words if someone comes to visit your baby and has a cold sore on their mouth and kisses your baby in the hospital your baby has just been exposed to the herpes virus. The best way to keep your newborn safe is ask all visiting relatives to wash their hands and if someone has an active outbreak to ask them to please not touch your baby for the risk of transmission is too high.
Now let’s move on past newborn stage and to your kids life. Of course, we don’t want our kids to get herpes nor do we want to be the ones to give it to them but it can happen and guess what. Your kid will be just fine.
Yes, it hurts and it’s embarrassing and it’s annoying but let’s face it. The majority of the population has herpes. You can’t blame yourself nor do you want to miss out on normal parental activities with your child.
The only risk that is really associated with your child getting herpes is there’s a very low chance the herpes virus can cause Encephalitis. Encephalitis is an inflammation of the brain and it can be quite dangerous if it goes untreated. If this occurs, you’ll want to get your child into see a doctor ASAP. The inflammation of the brain is more common in children and the elderly because they don’t always have the immune system to fight it off.
By informing you of this information I don’t want you to feel like you can never become a parent, never touch a child and of course heaven forbid touch your child. That would be ridiculous and just so sad. The point in me clarifying this is to let you know what actually happens so that you’re aware but also know that these risks are so low that it’s not something to be too concerned with.
Remember the story about the dad who never got in the swimming pool with his kids because he didn’t want to pass the herpes virus to his kids. Well, in my opinion there was far worse damage done by not swimming with your kids then potentially exposing them. Oh and by the way, you can not pass herpes in the pool. Then remember the mom who hadn't held, cuddled or kissed her child in two years because she was worried about passing herpes. Well again, in my opinion that does far worse damage than potentially transmitting herpes to your kid because you smother them with love and oops they accidentally got herpes.
If you’re a parent take this information and make decisions on what best suits you, you’re lifestyle and if you feel inclined, talk to your doctor. I just don’t want you to miss out or feel like you’re not able to love your kids the way you want to. Herpes is just a silly skin condition that has a horrible stigma attached to it. THAT IS IT!
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Xoxo,
Alexandra
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I get questions all the time about pregnancy and herpes. In fact, this was one of the first questions I asked when I was first diagnosed back in 2011.
There are so many myths out there that demonize herpes and make us feel like we no longer have the same rights a people who don’t have herpes. It’s 100% BS and yes, you can have a baby.
I talk about herpes and pregnancy in other episodes and I’ll have them linked so you can hop over and check them out as well. But today I want to talk about fertility specifically.
It’s so funny right, we spend forever doing our best to not get pregnant and then when we want to get pregnant we have a ton of questions and wonder if we really can. Oh and add a herpes diagnosis to the mix.
Personally as a woman, my fertility was something I never worried about. I mean were not taught to worry about it were taught to worry about getting pregnant so why would I worry about “if” I could get pregnant. I’m going to side track to me a bit and right now I’m 4 months pregnant! Yay! But I have to tell you it wasn’t an easy journey and having herpes really had nothing to do with it. It took my husband and I 2 years to conceive and I wish I would have known more about it when I was younger.
I’ll get back to my fertility journey but first I want to address how maybe slightly herpes could impact your trying to conceive journey.
Frequent Outbreaks This could prevent you from getting it on during the prime fertile time. My husband likes to call it my flower day. If you keep having outbreaks and cant have sex then yes, having herpes can impact your ability to get pregnant. Some ways around this would be to get on the antiviral. This will help reduce your outbreaks so that you and your partner can hump like bunnies.
Wanting to Use a Condom There’s a lot of couples who want to use condoms no matter what. And that’s ok if it's your jam. The problem is that the condom is obviously going to prevent the sperm and the egg from meeting. That’s a problem. If you’re in a situation where this is a problem I suggest talking to your partner and looking at the risk versus reward. If you’re a male with herpes and don’t have an outbreak, not taking the antiviral and not using a condom you have a 4% risk of transmitting herpes to your female partner. If you’re a female with herpes and don’t have an outbreak, don’t use a condom and are not on the antivirals then you have a 10% chance of transmitting it to your partner.
And then there was this study done in Iran and it was the only study that I could find on fertility and herpes. I’m not saying it's bogus and I’m not saying it's something to focus on. This study says that having herpes may impact the sperm count in men with herpes. I have the link to the article but basically it states that in more than half of infertile men there’s no answer to why they’re infertile. When a study was done they tested sperm from men with HSV 1 and HSV 2 as well as with men who do not have herpes. The sperm with herpes infected men came back with abnormal semen parameters and lower sperm count. Again, I don’t know all the details around the study and what “normal” semen parameters are. If you’re interested, here’s the link to read the study on your own. Again...I want to emphasize this is only 1 study and not something written in stone. And personally I don’t think I’d worry too much about it.
Back to fertility and learning how important it is as a woman to know you’re fertility and how your hormones are. This has nothing to do with herpes but after struggling personally to get pregnant I wish I would have tested my fertility in the past. See the older women get, the less healthy our eggs are and our fertility hormones are. I recently was interviewed by Modern Fertility regarding pregnancy and fertility when it comes to herpes. You can read it here. But really what I want to emphasize here is take herpes out of the equation and if having a baby is something that is extremely important to you then check out your fertility profile. Seriously I wish I would have done this before trying to get pregnant. It would have given us information to make decisions based on the information from the test. You can go here to get your own test and we have a special discount for our members.
Life With Herpes Details: * Join the Secret Society * HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off) * Shop the LWH Essentials * Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
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Xoxo,
Alexandra
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In the Life With Herpes community, the number one question I get has to do with dating. The questions range from will I ever date again, will anyone ever love me, how do I tell my partner and anything in between.
So here’s the answers….Yes, you’ll date. Yes, you’ll find love. Yes you’ll get the courage to tell the cute person your dating. And Yes you’ll have sex again!!! PROMISE!
There’s good news when it comes to dating with herpes. I’m being serious.
The good news is you now are in control of your sexual health. I’ll speak for myself but I’m guessing you’ll fall into this category too. So before being diagnosed with herpes, I knew what herpes was and I knew about STD’s. I was very educated in this because I taught for planned parenthood.However, even though I knew everything I still believed that I was immune to everything because I’d never sleep with anyone who had anything. I believe I’d just know by looking at them. Feel free in insert an eye roll right now!
Because we have herpes it’s our wakeup call to be in control. I see it time and time again where people didn’t ask their partner about their sexual health or they didn’t use protection because they were like me and thought it’d never happen to them. Or it was an uncomfortable conversation so they didn’t have it. As we know its all BS!!!!! I’m guessing these things didn’t happen because you were either insecure or trusted that person. And trust me I’m 100% guilty of both things.
Like I mentioned earlier I never thought I’d get any type of STD because I would never sleep with anyone dirty or slimy that had it.What a Pollyanna move.
All that needed to happen was to have a conversation. All that needed to happen was standing up for my health and lay out my requirements for a safe sexual relationship. Please keep in mind that my requirements may be totally different from your’s and that’s awesome. What needs to happend is to have them and stick to them.
Here’s what you need to do…
Have the sex talk! It’s as simple and as difficult as that! Have the sex talk prior to having sex with a new partner or a blast from the past. Just because you already slept with someone 6 months ago doesn’t mean that you’re still in the safe zone.
Personally I’d sit down and decide what you feel comfortable with. Some questions to ask yourself are; do you want your sexual relationship to be monogamous or are you both exploring other options. Is the sex just causal or are you looking for a more serious commitment. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you feel you deserve and want.
Then when you’ve decided what you want from the relationship its a great way to open the conversation about sex. Bring up that you like them and you want to take this to the next level, so it’s important to have a conversation about it.
At this point I’d ask my partner to have an STD test done before getting naked with them. Even if we’re planning to use a condom. Why go to that measure? Because sometimes people don’t know they have an infection, let’s face it people lie and condoms only work 30-50% of the time. So...why take the risk. Your health and well being is way to important.
If you don’t stand up for yourself then nobody else will.
Sex can still be fun and spontaneous and hot!!! What makes it even better is knowing that you both are being safe and are being responsible.
Let me know your thoughts and let me know how you proceed.
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Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
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So the person you like just told you they have herpes. You’re thinking should I date them? What does this mean for me? How’s this going to play into our dating and sex life?
Ok so first let me calm you down and let you know what it feels like when you’re first diagnosed with herpes. Seriously, dating or being able to date is the number one fear. We think that nobody will date us and that our life is over! The fear of rejection is a real thing and so telling the person we like that we have herpes is really scary.
So firstly before you make an decisions I want to make sure you’re aware that the person you’re dating really respects you. He or she took a leap of faith and told you their deep dark secret. They told you that they have herpes. This was really hard for them so I hope that you give them some credit and acknowledge that it was hard for them.
Here are the top questions you’re going to have when dating someone with herpes:
Can you still have sex?
YES, the answer is yes! You can still have a normal and healthy sex life if you or your partner has herpes! And yes, you can do something to prevent prevention. There are so many stories of people who’ve been together for years and have not yet transmitted it. It really boils down to communication and trusting your partner to disclose to you when they had their last outbreak or if they feel one coming on. Here are 3 ways you can prevent transmission to your partner.
Having herpes doesn’t mean they’ve slept around. In general we all have this idea or preconceived notion that people with herpes have slept around and that’s obviously how they got herpes. Well this is 100% BS and false. We all have an idea of the “type” of person who has herpes and clearly because of the stigma it creates this false reality of people who have herpes.
You have already been exposed to the herpes virus before meeting them. Of course when our partner tells us that they have herpes it’s normal to freak out and think that you’re automatically going to get herpes too. Well here’s the thing, you’ve already been exposed to the herpes virus weather it’s HSV 1 or HSV 2. ⅔ people have HSV 1 and ⅙ people have HSV 2 so there’s no way you can go through life and not have been exposed. You’ve shared a burger, a cigarette, had a sip of someone's beer or coca cola. It’s just impossible for you to not have come into contact with it.
Remember at the end of the day this person really cares about you and he or she has great integrity. They told you that they have herpes because they felt the importance of disclosing and making sure you have the decision.
If you have more herpes questions, and probably you do, feel free to check out more videos and this blog. Oh and of course, you can reach out with any questions.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
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- Shop the LWH Essentials
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Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
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One of the most common misconceptions I hear when I read comments or get asked questions are about oral herpes and HSV 1. So let’s break it down and get right to it.
Before we break it down let’s just do the 101 on herpes. There’s two types; HSV 1 & HSV 2. Both have very similar symptoms and we can not tell one virus apart from the other one unless testing is done. HSV 1 prefers to live in the oral region meanwhile HSV 2 prefers to live in the genial region. However, the virus will live or go wherever you give it a place to go. In other words, HSV 1 can be genital and HSV 2 can be oral. More people have HSV 1, its ⅔ globally and ⅙ globally have HSV 2. If you want more information on HSV you can go here where I give a full breakdown of symptoms and all sorts of goodies.
HSV1 is known as oral herpes or because we don’t like to use the word herpes we call them cold sores or fever blisters. Oral herpes is also known as the “good” herpes and genital herpes is known as the “bad herpes”. This is total BS and I’ll get on that subject another time. But here’s the shocker...HSV 1 can also be genital herpes. Mic Drop!
I get tons of DM’s and emails with people asking about having HSV 1 and either assuming it’s oral or wondering why they’re getting outbreaks down there. This can be confusing, especially because there’s not a lot of education on the matter.
First thing I want you to look at when you’re diagnosed with herpes is, where is your outbreak? Is it orally or is it genitally? Don’t assume that because you have HSV1 that it's not genital herpes. If you have herpes in your genital region then you have genital herpes regardless of HSV 1 or HSV 2. Make sense?
In the past and past generations we were not so careful about transmitting herpes. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal or maybe we just didn’t know. I really don’t know. But in the last generation we've done a much better job of reducing the risk of HSV 1 being orally transmitted. So that’s good news! But we’re still getting herpes and we’re not getting it up there. Instead we’re getting it down there. I’ve seen a ton of new cases especially with millennials getting genital HSV 1. This goes back to we’re not educating our society that HSV 1 is also sexually transmitted. This is always such a shock and super confusing to people when they get their diagnosis. For reasons I’m sure you understand.
Here’s the deal. I’m going over this so that you can have more information and use this to educate your partners or give you answers to your diagnosis. It really doesn’t matter what type you have nor does it matter where you have it. Yes there's a HUGE stigma about having genital herpes but at the end of the day it’s herpes.
When starting a new sexual relationship with someone I recommend having your partner get tested before you jump in bed together. Because so many people have HSV 1 and a lot of them don’t even know it most likely your partner has HSV 1. They either don’t not know they have it or are not aware that their fever blisters is herpes and is sexually transmitted.
Education is power so you can now take this and decide how you want to handle it.
Of course let me know if you have any questions on this.
Life With Herpes Details:
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Xoxo,
Alexandra
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After launching the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm I’ve been getting lots of questions from you all about CBD and why we should use it. Well… I’m convinced that CBD has so many health benefits and they completely fit with the lifestyle of people living with herpes.
Let’s face it. Outbreaks hurt! They’re annoying. They show up when we’re stressed out or run down. They absolutely are a buzzkill and change our mood. Oh and not to mention the outbreak that never seems to go away. And guess what? CBD helps with all of this. I’ll tell you how.
Here are 5 ways that adding CBD into your life will benefit your herpes outbreak. Calm Your Anxiety Regardless of just being diagnosed with herpes or if you’ve had herpes for years anxiety can set in and wreak havoc on you. There’s nothing worse than an anxiety attack and CBD Oil mimics serotonin which plays a key role in our mood. It’s the gatekeeper to anxiety or depression.
Reduce Inflammation CBD can reduce your inflammation from herpes outbreaks. When the outbreak is in full swing there is redness, puffiness, and pain. CBD helps reduced the information and discomfort that goes along with it.
Improves Your Overall Mood When outbreaks happen it’s a perfect time for us to be a roller coaster of emotions as well as be an energy suck. CBD makes a positive impact on your mood swings and energy levels.
Lessons Outbreak Pain Herpes outbreaks hurt and CBD reduces pain on multiple levels and even promotes nerve health which is important because the HSV virus lives in our nervous system.
Improves Recovery Time Outbreaks cause stress on your body and that can keep you down and out and in a funk for too long. CBD lessens inflation calms your nerves and gets you back into balance.
After covering all of this...why wouldn’t you give CBD a try and why wouldn’t you give the lip balm that’s specially designed to improve recovery time, lessen the outbreak pain and improve your overall mood? Here’s the link for you to check it out and see for yourself.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
Yay, you’re pregnant or thinking about becoming pregnant and want to know what herpes has to do with it. Wow, this is exciting! Time in your life so let's talk about herpes and pregnancy.
I can remember one of the first things I was worried about and asked my doctor about pregnancy. I was curious if it would impact pregnancy, birth, and the child. I’m sure I wasn’t the only woman so here are some great details on this next exciting big step.
Let’s break this down into two sections, people who already have herpes and want to get pregnant or are pregnant and then people who get herpes while pregnant.
So first let’s talk about having herpes and then getting pregnant. Genital herpes can be treated safely during pregnancy. You will be offered antiviral tablets which are safe to take during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. A mother can infect her baby during delivery, often fatally. But if a woman had genital herpes before getting pregnant, or if she is first infected early in pregnancy, the chance that her baby will be infected is very low -- less than 1%.
Now let’s move into getting herpes while pregnant. If the first episode happens in the first three months of pregnancy, your baby does not have increased risk of developmental problems and it does not increase your risk of miscarriage. If you go into labour less than 6 weeks after the first episode of genital herpes, your immune system would not have had time to produce antibodies to protect your baby. Thus, there is a high chance of passing the virus to your baby if you have a vaginal birth. This is known as neonatal herpes. If you have your first episode earlier in the pregnancy, your immune system will provide protection.
In rare cases, if you get an initial herpes infection during your first trimester, the virus could pass through the placenta and cause a miscarriage or serious birth defects. 15-20% of pregnancies have miscarriages so we don’t really know if it was caused from the herpes virus or not.
Herpes can also be transmitted to your baby after birth, and the complications can be severe. Ok so now let’s talk about birth..
A mother can infect her baby during delivery, often fatally. But if a woman had genital herpes before getting pregnant, or if she is first infected early in pregnancy, the chance that her baby will be infected is very low -- less than 1%.
The risk of infecting the baby is high (30% to 50%) when a woman is newly infected late in pregnancy, however. That's because the mother's immune system has not developed protective antibodies against the virus. Women with an older herpes infection have antibodies against the virus, which help protect the baby.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
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- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
This vaccine is one of the most sought out vaccines and it would help millions of people throughout the world. Not to mention on the business side of things how it would monetarily reward the people or company who solved the puzzle. But here’s the deal, as of now there’s no research happening for the herpes vaccine.
If you feel like the wind’s been taken out of your sails go watch or read the other episode about waiting for the herpes cure. I promise, having herpes is NOT the end of the world!
According to an article published by Healthline, pharmaceutical companies are taking a break from the research. I’ll breakdown what the article has to say. You can also check it out for yourself.
The pharma companies have a double-edged sword when it comes to herpes. There are two-thirds of the world population living with herpes and they would really benefit from a vaccine. This means there’s clearly a need but the problem lies in the nature of the viruses. It’s a very complicated virus and so, therefore, it will take multiple millions of dollars to perform the research and clinical trials.
At this point, there's been nobody close to the finish line. In fact, the three companies were close to the clinical trial phase and they all three backed out and are now focusing on something different. So to break it down, there’s no clinical trial going on right now working towards a vaccine for herpes.
Bummer, right?
And I’m sure you’re thinking how is it possible that there’s been research going on for years and millions of dollars spent how’s it possible to have nothing. I mean we have vaccines for HPV, Mesals, Mumps, Hepatitis, Chicken Pox, and the list goes on so why is Herpes such a medical enigma.
Well here’s the deal. The virus is very complex. It’s not like other viruses that have a short incubation period and a person typically sees signs of infection rather soon upon being infected.
According to Dr. William Schaffner, chair of the Department of Preventive Medicine at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Tennessee The herpes virus is very different from the measles virus, for example,” said Schaffner. He explains the measles virus makes you sick in a relatively short period of time. Our immune system reacts quickly to it and is ready for the virus again should it appear in the future.
When it comes to being infected with herpes the virus doesn’t always show up. It has its own agenda. When you're initially infected the virus can lie dormant for months and even years or it can pop up. And then recurring outbreaks are hit and miss, there’s no concrete timeline and the virus just pops up when it wants.
Also according to Dr. William, the herpes virus’s DNA is more complicated than the average virus. It’s because it goes dormant in our immune system similar to how many cancer cells do. And because vaccines work by stimulating the human immune system it makes it difficult to inoculate for herpes. Basically, the target keeps moving and they don’t know where to aim.
With the herpes virus being super complicated it makes the researcher difficult and very expensive. One of the companies that made it to the phase II clinical trial last year was Genocea Biosciences working on the GEN-003 herpes vaccine. They said they made a lot of progress but they cut the funding for the phase III funding and decided to focus on cancer research.
So there you have it! There have been some great attempts to create a vaccine and finding a solution to the gift that keeps on giving. My personal opinion is that there will be someone who finds the funding and put the right team together to find a vaccine. The thing is we just don’t know when it will be. Until then, don’t hold your breath and don’t get caught up in the negative thoughts of being diagnosed with herpes. Like I always say, it’s just a skin disease and that’s it. It pops up here and there but really its nothing worse than having a bad pimple on prom.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
Okay so I have both oral herpes and genital herpes. The good news is I get what it’s like to have both oral and genital outbreaks and I also don’t have to worry about getting herpes from anyone else. Lol.
Personally I think having oral outbreaks are far worse than having genital outbreaks. I know that might sound crazy, especially because the stigma has made having genital herpes like the worst thing in the world. However, when I have an oral outbreak it really messes with my ego, my self-confidence and I feel like I can’t go anywhere without anyone staring at me. The last time I had an oral outbreak was right before my wedding so I was a little stressed. But I can remember being so mad...like the mad that makes your blood boil. I was humiliated because I had this huge blister on my lip and I felt like I couldn’t touch anyone or be around anyone. I was emotionally a mess. Then not to mention the pain I was in. It was sooooo painful and it hurt to eat and just do normal daily activities. URG...it’s the pits and I totally get all of it.
In our Life With Herpes community, I’ve been hearing from you all about this and similar stories. Some are for genital outbreaks and some are for oral outbreaks. It doesn’t matter. At the end of the day herpes is herpes and outbreaks hurt, they put you on an emotional roller coaster and all you want is for it to go away.
So here’s the deal...I’ve created a lip balm that will help with recovery time, will lessen the pain and fight the virus to keep it away.
THIS IS HUGE and I’m so excited because there’s nothing else out there that has the same fighting & soothing powers as our Secret Society CBD Lip Balm. Using it is my favorite way to calm anxiety, reduce the pain from herpes outbreaks and improve my overall wellbeing. Bam...what could be better?!
Here’s how this lip balm works...There is no other product out there on the market that has combined herpes-fighting ingredients as well as CBD to lessen the pain and help soothe on all levels. This is an SPF, moisturizing, Lysine and CBD-infused lip balm that can be used daily to fight against outbreaks both current and preventative. Meanwhile, you’ll be getting hydration to your lips and the CBD will help calm any situation. Win-win all around!
And if you’re thinking that you have genital herpes and this doesn’t pertain to you let me explain...Here’s the deal: the CBD isolate in our Secret Society CBD Lip Balm will help you with your anxiety or depression and help you manage your stress level. Typically stress is the cause of an outbreak so the CBD in the lip balm will lessen your mood swings and get you back to a normal level. There have been studies to prove this! Yay science!
If you get genital outbreaks as well as oral outbreaks, we recommend buying two (2) Secret Society CB Lip Balms to designate one for your genital region and one for your oral region. You can use something like glitter nail polish or marker and tape to distinguish between the two. This will ensure there’s no back and forth gross stuff going on. Ya, know?
Oh, and you don’t have to worry... CBD in the lip balm won’t get you high there’s no THC.
Come check it out and see for yourself. Trust me you won’t want to leave home without it and you’re other lip balms or lipsticks will be jealous.
Go here to get your lip balm :-))
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
148: What’s It Like To Date Someone With Herpes With Alexandra Harbushka
Life With Herpes.com has been used as a resource for people who are dating someone with herpes or want to date someone with herpes. The good news is now all the information is at our fingertips and there’s a community there to help.
This situation of liking someone with herpes comes up a lot. It’s not as uncommon as you think considering that one out of sex people have HS2 and two out of three have HSV1. There are many couples where one has the virus and the other does not. So don’t think you have to find someone who has you’re the same virus.
Anyway, when you’re in the shoes of not having herpes and you’re partner has “the herpes talk” the ball is now in you’re court. Here’s the great news, your partner cares about you and wanted to be open and honest and told you. It’s a really hard conversation for us with herpes to have so make sure you acknowledge that tender conversation.
With the information you’ve now received it’s up to you to take that information and decide how you want to process it. There’s a couple of ways this could go.
- It’s a this is awesome because I have herpes too
- It’s an immediate no
- It’s a maybe and let me learn more
- It’s an I don’t care
Ok the obvious two best cases are either if you both have herpes or if you just don’t care. But I’m guessing because you’re reading this you do care and you don’t have herpes.
Here’s what I’m going to suggest you do. It’s going to be important that you have all the information you need. I recommend going to our FAQ page where we have just about every question imaginable. Read through there and get your questions answered. It’s important to know about the herpes virus and how it will affect or not affect your life. I’ve had people break up with people because they assumed one thing or another about their herpes virus and come to find out they actually had it too and didn’t know it was the same thing. So, the moral of the story education is knowledge.
Also, this is a great time for you and your potential partner to go and get tested. You never know, you may have herpes and don’t even know it. It happens all the time. Oh and if you get cold sores..yeah, that’s herpes. So it’s important that you get tested and know where you both stand before you get between the sheets.
At the end of the day, herpes or not, having sex with someone is a big deal. Yes, we’re in the casual sex era but it’s still a big deal and with that being said coming in contact with the wrong viruses can change your life and have a major impact on your health. So, take this seriously and go get tested with your partner.
Now you have to decide if this person is worth the risk or not. In any relationship, there is “something” that you have to make a decision on. There’s something that you weren’t planning on and you get to make that decision if it’s worth it for you.
Just remember to fall in love like you’ve never been hurt.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
When you have an itch, a tingle or maybe slept with someone that you know has herpes the automatic OMG phase kicks in. It turns to panic and your mind will take you down the rabbit hole of horrible thoughts. Oh and then you turn to google. PLEASE, whatever you do...don’t turn to google. You’re in the right spot to find out more answers and not see scary photos on the internet.
There are 3 basic ways to confirm you have herpes. But before we break it down let’s talk a little bit about symptoms and what that feels like. I talk about this in detail here so you can go check it out too.
Symptoms can be slightly different for everyone and sometimes symptoms can pop up immediately after a person comes in contact with the virus and then sometimes it can take, months, weeks or years. But her are some common symptoms:
- Blistery sores
- Burning when you pee if you have sores
- Trouble peeing if you have sores covering your urethra
- Itching or pain around your genitals
- Sometimes the blisters can blee
- Swollen, tender glands in the pelvic area, throat, or under the arms
- Fever
- Chills
- Fatigue
- Headache
- General run-down feelings
- Achy, flu-like feelings
Also if you’re experiencing any, all or some of this. STOP RIGHT NOW AND GO GET TESTED! No reason to keep yourself in this space of anxiety and freaking out mode.
Here are the 3 way’s to know you have herpes:
Visually
So this is pretty self-explanatory. If you see bumps, and they’re painful and you have flu-like symptoms then most likely it's a herpes outbreak. A way to diagnose by looking at the area visually is called a clinical diagnosis. This is when a medical professional examiner looks at the symptoms. The great news with this is it can be done through a Tela Health company like HerpAlert, where you don’t need to even leave your house. The potential downside is there’s no way to know what strain you have if it’s HSV 1 or HSV 2. This is something that may not be important to you but you can always have a blood test done in the future and get that all sorted out.
Blood test
Having a blood test done can be helpful to tell you what strain you have, HSV 1 or HSV 2, but it doesn’t tell you where you have it or how long you’ve had it. The way this works is the blood test is looking for antibodies for the herpes virus. This can take some time for it to show up in your system. So in some cases, people who have herpes will go in for a blood test and the antibodies have not made it into your system yet. In this case, this person would have a blood test that’s negative for herpes, however, if they came back in a few weeks they would test positive. It can sound confusing but if you get a positive test result for herpes with a blood test then you can pretty much guarantee that you’re positive.
Culture test
So this test only works when there’s an outbreak. When there’s no outbreak or viral shedding happening you’re going to test negative for herpes. In other words, you have to have a culture or a sample from the sore to see the live virus under the microscope. Now you can get a false reading if you were just exposed and the virus hasn’t had time to settle in or if you’re on the tail end of your outbreak and the healing or scabbing has started.
So as we talk through all of this if you’re in this freak out mode I want you to stop what you’re doing and get tested. I recommend using HerpAlert because they specialize in herpes and are a telehealth company but it doesn’t matter just go get tested. But what the important thing is to do is talk to your doctor and tell them how long you’re symptoms have been going on. Like I mentioned earlier, you may have just been exposed so getting a blood test won’t help you at all. And if you have sores or blisters but you’ve waited too long to get in and have a culture test done then you’re going to get a negative result. Tell your doctor everything and let them decide the best way to proceed.
And again...I’m beating a dead horse but please do yourself a favor and if you think you have herpes then go get tested. Just don’t think it’ll go away or think that maybe it’s some weird skin rash. You owe it to yourself to treat your body right and get the proper diagnosis. This way you can get the antiviral and get onto your path of recovery soon.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
This is one of the most pressing questions and the answer often leads to heartache. I hear questions like this daily saying…
“How is there no cure to herpes?”
“Why is there no vaccine when we have a vaccine for practically everything else?”
“When will there be a vaccine?”
“Will there be a cure?”
“Is there something that will prevent outbreaks permanently?”
Here’s the deal. I get it, I’ve felt this way and wondered about it too. The truth is don’t hold your breath and also don’t let this hope of a vaccine hold you back from living your life.
I hear many people who are in our Secret Society say things like, “oh I’ll just wait for the vaccine before I start dating.” Ok, this sounds like a great idea and it sounds like you’re being a responsible sexually active adult however it also sounds like you’re putting you’re happy in the hands of a vaccine. And that is on the verge of the victim situation and if you know me, I’m huge on not being a victim to herpes.
Here’s the deal, herpes is a skin disease that causes uncomfortable blisters from time to time. That’s all! It’s nothing more than a dramatized pimple. It’s not a scapegoat for you to become a recluse and become asexual and never go on a date or fall in love or get married or have children or whatever it is you want in life. It’s just an uncomfortable bump that pops up and then goes away a couple of days later.
The herpes vaccine is almost like Uber. Now hear me out… Before Uber, our only way of transportation besides a private driver or public transportation and of course, mom, was calling a Taxi. Well, as soon as Uber began to transform the way, everyone gets around now the taxi drivers have been in an uproar. Basically Uber has taken their income and their lively hood. Some cities, such as Las Vegas, outlawed Uber and other’s did a good job at keeping them at bay to protect the taxi unions but eventually, convenience wone and the demand was too high. So what did this mean for the taxi drivers, they either could sit in their cab and complained to other cab drivers because they weren’t driving or they could become Uber drivers too. Where I’m going with this and the whole herpes thing is the choice of becoming a victim and waiting for a vaccine before you can live your life is total BS. It’s no different than the taxi driver just sitting on the side of the road with his meter light on saying he’s available for a ride.
Will there be a cure or a vaccine? I’m sure there will be. I mean we can put a man on the moon, find cures to horrible diseases and break the sound barrier with our jets. It’s just a matter of the right people, the right technology and the other biggie… money. Until then, live your life with herpes and don’t let it hold you back.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
Ok so we have herpes and now we want to know what we can do to prevent getting the next outbreak. Because the less often we have outbreaks the less we think about having herpes. It’s kinda the out of sight out of mind. Just a quick reminder that if you have HSV you’ll have it for life, so just because you’re not getting outbreaks it won't mean that you’re cured or in the clear. You’ll still have to tell you’re partners. Ok, I just wanted to get that out there.
As we’ve all heard that a healthy lifestyle will improve your overall life, relationships with key people in your life as well as it can improve your health. Well these basic lifestyle choices
So let’s talk about some reasons why we get herpes and how we can prevent them with some lifestyle choices. Meanwhile, sometimes getting an outbreak is kinda out of your control when it comes to lifestyle but you being aware can help you prepare and be aware of what’s going down.
First is stress on your body. Now, we can’t eliminate all stress because it’s just a part of life. It’d be like trying to remove air from the room. It’s just not possible. And even sometimes stress can be a good thing that motivates us and keeps us achieving. But when it comes to herpes, if we put too much stress on our bodies it can cause an outbreak. So things like final exams, new job, moving, new relationships, stress at work, financial stress, stress at home, too busy of a schedule and so on. These things are all transitions that we’ll experience through life and you’re herpes virus will be part of it too. The key for us is to be aware that this can cause an outbreak. So an example is if you’re preparing for finals do you’re best to not pull all-nighters with sugar-free Redbull. We all know that studying a bit a day and getting proper sleep will be a less stressful way to study for your final. Trust me, I get it. I was in college too and sometimes all the exams pile up especially if there’s a really important party happening next door. My point is to be aware, pick your battles and make the decision. Don’t be surprised if an outbreak shows up and make sure you have your antiviral on hand or your home remedies for when it does.
Next is a low immune system. I never realized how key an immune system is until I started not taking care of my body and running myself into the ground. And then boom, one cold after the next or just that sluggish feeling. Now, add a herpes diagnosis to it and it’s a perfect recipe for an outbreak or multiple outbreaks. Our immune system is like a little army that fights off disease to keep us strong and healthy. Just like a real army, when they’re not rested or not properly equipped for what’s ahead there’s a potential for an attack and letting the bad guys in. The same goes for our bodies, our immune system is fighting around the clock to keep us healthy and if we make some poor choices then it’s an opportunity for an outbreak. Some of these choices are lack of sleep or not getting proper sleep, eating a poor diet full of perversities or sugar, not eating enough protein, not getting proper exercise and just overall hygiene. Personally, I think sleep is a huge portion to a strong immune system. When you sleep you’re body recovers and get’s ready to take on the next day. If you’re not getting enough sleep then you’re body can’t recover and then you just continue on a path of harming your health. Take a minute to look at your sleep, diet and exercise plan. I’m not saying you need to sign up for a triathlon, I’m saying get outside and walk around the block and get some fresh air. Also, look at what you’re eating and maybe you start bringing your lunch to work instead of ordering the double-double with fries. All of these little things add up and play a role in preventing herpes outbreaks.
Ok and finally, this is one that we really can’t control too much and it’s our hormones. This is more for the women because we have hormone spikes and drops monthly due to our menstrual cycle. Also, as women, we tend to take birth control which of course manipulates our hormones as well. It’s super common for women to get outbreaks a couple of days before their period or when they’re ovulating. There’s just a lot of different hormones moving around through the 28 days. And then of course if you go on birth control or go off birth control or change your birth control. All of this can be a little shock to your system and throw you off just enough to get an outbreak. So, in some cases, women will take the antiviral during their periods to just prevent the outbreaks from popping up or they’ll take it to easy these days, do some Netflix and chill and cut down on their busy schedule to take care of themselves. I know it sounds hard but it’s possible.
Ok, so as you know, look at this as a recommendation. Take the time to evaluate what’s going on in your life and lifestyle so that you can maybe make some adjustments. Maybe you’re reading this and you’re giving yourself high fives because you’re doing the right things. But if you’re not don’t beat yourself up, just make a little adjustment at a time. Life is a journey, not a sprint and your health won't change overnight. You’ll see gradual little changes after a period of time.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD Lip Balm
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
This is one of the scariest things that cross our minds when we’re first diagnosed with herpes. A typical thought that goes through our minds is how awful our diagnosis was and how we’d never want anyone to experience the physical pain of the outbreak. Sometimes we feel like the guilt of giving herpes to someone would be the worst thing too.
I get asked all the time in our Secret Society about how to deal with giving herpes to your partner. The truth is I’ve never touched on this because I’ve never passed herpes to my partners. I’ve only wanted to talk about experiences that I’ve personally had. But this is something that happens all the time so It’s something I’ve needed to talk about. I reached out to the Secret Society for thier stories so that as a community we could talk about this today.
Regardless of passing it or not we still have to have the conversation with our partner about having herpes. This is very hard to do but so worth it. If you wait until you’ve had sex or are in a relationship to tell them it will be harder and you face a couple of obstacles. Either the person won’t trust you or you could unknowingly pass herpes to them. Now you’re in a pickle. I talk about this in other episodes so you’ll have to check them out.
But back to giving him or her herpes.
Clearly, this is not our intention and people with herpes generally don’t want to go passing it along. In fact, this very thought keeps a lot of us from dating or becoming intimate with someone. And this is very sad to me.
Something that’s helped me is I’ve come to find comfort knowing that it’s really out of my hands. Yes, at first in my relationships I’d always freak out and think that I’m going to pass it. I can remember having anxiety attacks over it. So trust me I get it.
It really wasn't until my husband and at that time he was my boyfriend and I had a talk about it. And that talk clicked in my mind. He said to me that if I was worried about passing him herpes while we were having sex then we shouldn’t have sex. He said that he wasn’t worried about it and if that’s what I was thinking about then we need to stop. And if you think about it that’s really a great solution. This can be for anything really if you’re mind is not in it and you’re having an internal dialog with yourself about something completely different then it’s not fair to you or your partner to be having sex. It’s all about getting present in the situation.
But let’s get back to how to handle transmitting herpes to your partner. At the end of the day, you have to remember that it wasn’t up to you. If you’ve done these things then you’ve done everything you can to protect them.
Don't Feel Guilty About Herpes Transmission If You've Done These's 4 Things 1. Disclosed to partner you have herpes 2. You both agree on prevention method. 3. Sex was consensual 4. You’ve talked to you’re partner about your outbreaks and also let them know if you've just had one
In my opinion, if you’ve done this then you have to let the guilt go. You’re partner made the decision to have sex with you knowing the risk. I hate using the word risk but it’s true. He or she consciously knew that having sex could potentially transmit herpes and they decided to do it anyway.
Of course, there are the times when we forgot to tell our partner because we were in the heat of the moment or didn't feel comfortable having the conversation.
If your partner blames you or puts you down in any way it’s going to be up to you to stand up for yourself. You did nothing wrong and your partner made the decision.
This is such a hot topic and can be emotional, let me know your thoughts or your story.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
- Shop the Secret Society CBD
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
Let’s talk about those three little words that are brought up when you’re dating.
So I overheard someone say that it's so hard to say those three little words. I immediately thought of the words I LOVE YOU. Right? I mean wouldn't you? We’ve been so marketed to by hallmark and diamonds are for every type of campaigns that when we think of the three little words we think of I LOVE YOU. But as the conversation continued and I heard the three words they were not I love you but were I HAVE HERPES. I honestly can’t remember where I heard this but I thought it was a great question and even better for us to have a discussion about. Right?
So the thought crossed my mind, is it harder to say I love you or I have herpes? I’ll share my personal experiences with the words I love you and my experience with I have herpes. Both are equally important words and both can change the course of your relationship.
I mean if you say, “ I love you” too early in a relationship it can be doomed. I mean you might send the other person running for the hills or heck, you might even be that person running. Lol… we’ve all been the person who is the stage five clinger and all about the I love yous way to soon and we’ve all been on the receiving end of that I love you when suddenly there’s an awful gulp in your throat. Regardless the three little words are very strategic.
Now let’s talk about saying, “I have herpes” too soon. Because of the herpes stigma that’s not something you can just drop on someone. Think about it, the same thing can happen as I love you. Some people will run away as fast as they can and others will be totally fine with it. But a ton of it has to do with how and when you say it.
So in my personal experiences, I’d tell guys I have herpes without even thinking about it. Whether this is right or wrong I’d use it as a way to get out of sleeping with them. Again… don’t judge me for it. And of course sometimes my plan would backfire on me and I would have to come up with some other excuse...lol.
But there were two men that I dated and wanted to date and wanted to sleep with that I had both conversations with. One is my ex-boyfriend and the other was my husband. Obviously, we know how it turned out with my husband, Bill. But don’t worry, I’ll share that story too.
When it came time to tell my ex-boyfriend that I had herpes I was really nervous. We’d been dating for about 3 months but we’d known each other for a number of years so I felt pretty comfortable with him. But still we were dating for 3 months and I wasn’t sure where our relationship was going. Were we just yoga, Saturday farmers market, and dinner date friends or were we going to take our relationship to the next level and have sex? I knew I couldn't just put in his court and see if he made a move. If I waited for him to make the move I’d feel like it would have been a bad time to have the I Have Herpes convo. Right? So I decided to tell him over dinner one Saturday night. We were at a local San Diego restaurant across the street from my house, Bankers Hill Bar. It’s so good by the way and totally get the burger! Anyway, we were having dinner and I decided to tell him. I said, “I have herpes.” And then went eek in my mind. I have to say telling him that I have herpes was not only more difficult than saying I love you to him but the most difficult guy to tell. I honestly can’t remember when we started saying I love you. He probably said it first but it could be the other way around. I really can’t remember. But we dated for three years so obviously the I have herpes conversation went well. He did a really good job of asking questions, trusting me and at the end of the day, he wanted to be with me and didn’t care. Also, he never got herpes. We had a great relationship and we both were open and communicated. In this particular situation having the “I Have Herpes,” talk was much harder.
Now let’s talk about my husband, Bill. Before I started writing this and prepping for the post I brought this up to Bill. I said, “what do you think of this topic?”Do you like the idea of I love you and I have herpes? What was so interesting is we started to talk about our relationship. And I realized that telling Bill I love him and telling Bill that I have herpes were both easy conversations. I mean really easy. Why? Probably because I knew in my heart and soul that we loved each other and I knew that having herpes didn't matter. I also had done a ton of work on myself and truly believed that if anyone didn’t love everything about me including herpes he wasn’t worth my time. And I knew that Bill loved all of me.
Ok.. so I know you’re like get to the story about telling Bill. Well, I can remember right where I was when I told him I loved him and right where I was when I told him I have herpes. Both were beautiful moments. When I told Bill I have herpes, we weren't dating we weren't even together. We worked together and our work team was like family. So Bill noticed that something wasn’t right and asked what was wrong. This was the day that I was diagnosed with herpes so clearly, I was at my lowest point. I told him, “I have herpes” and I collapsed on the floor crying. He was so sweet and said you’re a strong and beautiful person you will get through this and I ‘m here for you. I consider you my family so please let me know if there’s anything I can do.” I still have the voicemail he left me after this conversation. It was so touching.
Let me fast forward a couple of years to the I love you. So I’m sure you can imagine that when I told Bill I loved him there was no big lump in my throat or bad feeling in my tummy. It was the exact opposite and I couldn't wait to tell him that I loved him. So it happened when we were having a conversation about dating. We weren't dating yet and were having the adult conversation about it. You know how that goes, once you date it changes the course of your and we wanted to make sure we discussed it all. So in that conversation I just blurted out, I Love You!” And Bill looked up at me and said, “I love you too!” It was natural and not hard to say. It was a precious moment.
Ok so to wrap this up...I’m going to throw the question back to you? I’ve had all the combinations of the I Love You’s and the I have herpes convos. All of them were unique and all of them happened at the right time for where we were in the relationship. So what do you think is harder? Have you had the conversations? Let me know.
Life With Herpes Details:
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Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
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Dating as a whole can be scary, fun, the time of your life or when will this phase be over. We put so much pressure on ourselves to not waste time and find “the one”. Most of the time we forget to enjoy the person who’s in front of us for who they are. We quickly get rid of or move on from someone because they don’t fit this “mold” we put in our heads.
It’s totally possible to date someone just because you have fun. Back to talking about being so focused on “the one”. Back when I was dating I had the guy who I chilled with and drank wine the guy who I went to yoga with, the guy who loved to take me to fancy Italian dinners, the guy who I’d hike with, the guy I’d go to the farmers market with, the guy who I’d go clubbing with, the guy I’d meet for breakfast and guy I ‘d have sex with. Keep in mind they were all not at the same time and this was over a course of a couple of years but they all survived their purpose until it was the right timing for my husband and me to come together.
Ok so now let’s add in the dreaded dark secret of having herpes. One of the things that hold us back from dating at all is the fear of having to disclose the herpes thing. Ok well, remember all the different guys I dated… the majority of them didn’t know that I had herpes. Why? Not because I was too scared to tell them but because I wasn't sleeping with them. Of course, the men I’ve slept with knew about my herpes diagnosis. I just want to make that a full disclosure.
But I want to get back to the notion that we don’t have to sleep with everyone or disclose to everyone just because we’re dating. Think about it. Not everyone can be “the one”! We can’t fall in love with everyone and have sex with everyone and be in a relationship with everyone. It’s simply not possible.
3 Things to follow when dating with herpes:
- Did you have fun?
So when you go out and do whatever you do with this person ask yourself when you get home if you had fun. Did you laugh and enjoy your time and want to do it again? If your answer no then moves on. THere’s plenty of fish in the sea and no reason to keep spending time with someone who you didn’t have fun with.
- Would you sleep with him/her?
This one is a great one to ask yourself too. We can get caught up in our heads about “who” we’re supposed to be attracted to and who we’re supposed to be with. Let’s face it sometimes we are attached to someone we never thought we’d be into. Before you get all worked up on the sleeping part and disclosing just ask yourself, would you?
Before moving onto the 3rd point I want you to ponder the first two questions. If you’ve answered yes to both of the questions then keep hanging out. Keep going out and doing what you guys like to do. Don’t worry if this person is the one or not. Don’t worry if he or she will be ok with the herpes thing. Oh, and we’ll get to the herpes disclosure soon but please don’t self punish and not call your date back because you have herpes.
If you’ve answered no to any of the questions then most likely you should end it right there. I mean why hang out with someone you really don’t enjoy spending time with. And if you can’t sleep with them then that’s not going to go far either.
- You don’t have to disclose until you’re ready to expose them to the virus
Now I know this is the big one. The disclosure! It really stops a lot of people from dating in the first place. But truly keep this in mind, you don’t have to tell anyone unless you want to. BUT and there’s a huge but, if you’re going to expose them then you have to tell them. But until then no need to divulge everything. I go back to the example about if you were 500k in debt would you tell the person on the first few dated? My guess is no. So why do you need to talk about herpes? I mean you probably wouldn’t mention you had testicular cancer or abnormal pap smears until you’ve gotten a little bit deeper into the relationship. Going to yoga or a movie doesn’t mean you have to tell you’re secret.
Keep in mind these are suggestions and more like guidelines. Feel free to date who you like, when you like and disclose when you want. It’s you’re life and the great news is you get to write the script.
Let me know you’re thoughts on this. This is something we cover almost weekly in our Secret Society so if you’re between a rock and hard place with this idea of dating and telling your partner come join our next Support Group. Here’s more details.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
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Ok, great news, HerpAlert has some exciting new features and I can’t wait to share them with you all. As you know I absolutely love saying the name HerpAlert! But a quick refresher on HerpAlert in case you missed it or are new to the Life With Herpes community, HerpAlert’s an online herpes diagnosis and treatment resource. So if you’re wondering if you have herpes and want a clinical diagnosis ASAP you’d want to go to HerpAlert.com and fill out your symptoms, upload a picture of the infection and boom a doctor will be in touch with you within the hour. I dedicated an entire episode to this a while back so you can go here to reference it if you have any questions. Oh and use the promo code: lifewithherpes to save 10% on your treatment.
So the new cool feature HerpAlert’s come out with is an easy one-stop place for us folks living with herpes.
Have you ever been in the situation where you got an outbreak and didn’t have your antiviral? Yep, me too. So then you immediately call your pharmacy to refill the prescription ASAP so your outbreak doesn’t get worse and then you hear on the other line, “we're sorry you’re out of refills.” Ok so then the next step is call your doctor, wait on hold, talk to the receptionist who takes a message, the message then goes to the bottom of the pile on your doctor’s desk and you get a call back 4 days later from the scheduling office letting you know that your doctor wants you to come in so he or she can see you to refill your prescription. So now you’re like WTF… I have a full blown outbreak and I need this medicine now!
Sound familiar? Yep, we’ve all been there.
So here’s how HerpAlert’s solved this problem and made it easy for you and me.
They now offer a monthly service where you can log back into your safe and secure member portal and update any changes that may have happened since your last refill and boom...a HerpAlert doctor will review your symptoms and refill your prescription within the hour!
This is super cool and super helpful because if you’re like me you don’t have the time nor do you want the headache of scheduling your appointment, then going in for your doctors visit and then waiting for your prescription to be filled. I mean that’s a ton of extra time wasted and you could be on the road to recovery.
Here’s a quick download of the HerpAlert monthly subscription benefits:
- Your convenience and your time
- You are a top priority to the HerpAlert doctors
- Get your prescription refilled within 1 hour
- Only one stop to pick up your prescription
- You get to connect with your HerpAlert doctor monthly and update them on any changes in your life
Alright so as you can see this is a miracle for us busy people with herpes. Just think about the ability to be able to connect with a doctor on your time and get the herpes treatment you need and want. Oh and I forgot to mention this monthly subscription is just $29 a month. Ok so go here to learn more and join.
Ok, so we’ve all heard of how important it is to have a strong immune system. It keeps colds away and it also can keep you from getting herpes outbreaks. Obviously, we want to do everything we can to keep the herpes virus from popping up and causing a painful outbreak.
What we put in our bodies plays a big role in how we feel, sleep our energy levels as well as our immune system. I’m sure by this point you’ve eaten a meal and then after felt like a slug or not so hot. Either you were bloated or it didn’t sit well in your tummy or it kept you up all night. Most likely you ate something that didn’t agree with you because of one reason or another but your body had to work harder to digest it and chances are that lowered your immune system.
A lowered immune system means...you guessed it. A herpes outbreak!
As you know from past episodes we’ve talked about lysine and arginine and foods that combat herpes outbreaks. But what we haven't talked a ton about is foods that can lower your immune system and potentially cause an outbreak. Oh and like I always say, use this as a reference and don’t stress yourself out over it. The last thing I want you to do is get all stressed out and then boom...an outbreak.
Fast food can really put a damper on your immune system. Now we all know that fast food isn’t good for us. We hear that all the time yet we really don’t know the reason. Well, there was a study done on eating fast foods and how it relates to your immune system, basically what happens is it reprograms the way your immune system reacts and puts it on high alert! When your body’s on a high alert stage it really does a number on the immune system and it doesn’t let your body function normally. So think again if you’re using fast food as a crutch and an easy way to get a meal.
MSG is one that I don’t think too often about. I guess because it’s not really in the foods that I typically eat. Or at least I think so. I know that for some people, like my nice, she gets migraines if she eats MSG so one of the things she avoids is popcorn at the movie theater. Ok so what does MSG have to do with your immune system...well it’s pretty harsh on your precious immune system. Ok so studies shown that MSG can make changes to your thymus and spleen. Ok so if you’re like me and are like...ok what does that mean? They both are key players in your immune system. They both make lymphocytes, which take out foreign invaders; your spleen also makes antibodies that help keep you well. So basically it disrupts your immune system. The good news is that studies show that by removing MSG from your diet your spleen and thymus can go back to normal but it might take a while. You can research what foods contain MSG but just to give you a quick rundown; fast food, salty snacks, seasonings, cold cuts, iced tea mixes sports drinks and soy sauce.
Gluten has gotten a bad rap recently. It feels like in the 90’s everyone was on the low-fat diet which meant pasts and mostly gluten foods but now we’re off the low fat and totally off gluten. Yes, there are some people who have celiac disease or are gluten intolerant and can not have gluten. However, gluten can be very harmful on your system. What happens as it passes through your system, it triggers the production of a protein called zonulin, which breaks down the cells of your intestinal walls. When this happens it gives toxins, food particles, and other harmful substances and open door policy to have free rein to get into your bloodstream. A lot of times this causes an unwanted immune response and leaving you feeling less than your best. This goes for people who are intolerant and people who are not. Try to cut back your gluten intake there are so many other options out there now.
Sugar and we’ve heard this a ton just like we’ve heard about how fast food is bad for us. But here's why sugar has a direct effect on your immune system. You know how we talk about good bacteria and bad bacteria? Well, the bad bacteria thrives on sugar… it's an all you can eat buffet for them! And just like other living organisms, the more we eat the more we grow and breed. Same thing goes for these bad bacteria the more sugar we give them the more they grow and then crowd out the good bacteria in our intestines. Another way sugar impacts our immune system is by impacting the absorption levels of vitamin c, and we all know that vitamin c plays a huge role in our immune system. You know how people always say take vitamin c when you’re sick. Anyway, The more sugar in your system, the harder it is for your immune cells to get the vitamin C they need to function, resulting in an up to 40% decrease in effectiveness lasting for hours after you consume the sugar!
Ok so we could go on and on about other foods that can be harmful to your overall health but I don’t want you to walk away and feel like you can’t eat anything. Here’s what I want you to do. Be aware of what you’re putting in your body. The form of foods meaning the most natural ways is the best. I guess what I’m saying is the fewer ingredients the better. I’ve heard the saying that if your grandmother wouldn’t know what it is then you shouldn’t eat it. Fast food is exactly what it is...fast food so maybe if you take the time to meal prep and get your work lunches planned out for the week then you’ll cut out swinging through the drive-through.
Just take a second to think before you eat and think to yourself is this going to be the best thing for my overall health. Herpes or not would this benefit my body.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
This is a long drawn out debate. Some people argue that when the birth control pills were brought out it completely changed the dating game. Because think about, before the pill, there were only condoms that would protect you from pregnancy… and who knows how effective they were. So, to avoid public humiliation from your family and the people around you about getting pregnant a lot of couples avoided sex. I’m not saying sex didn’t happen, of course, it did. What I’m arguing is it wasn’t as open and people were not as sexually active with multiple partners.
In the ’60s there was the sexual revolution which completely changed the way men and women dated. This was the beginning of the casual sex movement.
WHich brings us to where we are today in the hookup culture. Which is means exactly what it sounds like... engaging in sexual activity without an emotional relationship with their partner. In other words a one night stand or just a fuck buddy or a hookup buddy.
Alright, so if you’re wondering where I’m going with this I want to bring it back to herpes and telling your partner that you have herpes.
Telling you’re partner that you have herpes can be one of the most difficult things out there. It’s because we’re programmed to think that we did something wrong and that’s why we have herpes. Then when you go to tell the person you have a crush on that you have herpes you’re freaking out and hoping that he or she will accept you.
Because of the fear of rejection usually, 2 things happen. Either we don’t date or we just don’t tell our partners.
So here’s a question I want to ask you, do you think you need to have sex when you’re dating someone?
Let me tell you a little bit about my story. So after I was diagnosed and moved on from the guy I was dating I decided that I needed to go out and date. In my mind, I was like it’s a numbers game and I need to date everyone and meet everyone. What wasn’t on my mind was sleeping with everyone. I looked at it as just because I’m going out to coffee doesn’t mean that we’re hooking up. And just because we went to dinner it doesn’t mean that sex is involved and just because we went away for NYE it doesn’t mean that we’re having sex.
These were my personal beliefs and you might be thinking that I was a prude or that was wrong or I was taking advantage of a free meal or whatever. Herpes or not herpes, casual sex wasn’t my thing.
What I want you to look at is, are you holding yourself back from dating because you feel like you have to jump in between the sheets? Are you not flirting with that hot girl across the bar or not accepting someone to buy you a drink because you have herpes and then you think that you have to sleep with them?
Define in you’re mind what feels right to you. Just because you have a history of waiting for 3 dates before you have sex or maybe it’s 3 months or whatever it was it doesn’t mean that it has to be going forward. Take herpes out of the equation and decide what you feel comfortable with. Maybe you're going to realize that you were just jumping into bed because you thought you needed to in order to feel sexy or accepted. Or maybe you're not going out at all because you’re petrified of the “talk”.
Don’t feel like there’s a set standard of what you have to do. Just because you’re roommate is one way doesn’t mean you have to be that way too. Just because society is telling you to have sex on the 3rd date it doesn’t mean that you have to have sex.
So let me throw the question back to you...does dating mean sex to you? Let me know in the comments.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
So glad you’re here today because we have a special guest, my husband. Ok, so you all have asked for Bill to share his side when it comes to me having herpes. So today I share how I disclosed to him and then we get his reaction to me disclosing.
Disclosing is one of the hardest things that people with herpes have to deal with. After the initial shock of finding out about your herpes diagnosis the next biggie to overcome is disclosing. If this is something that’s preventing you from dating please reach out to me. And seriously you should join our Secret Society, we talk about this all the time!
So today we get to hear from Bill about what went through his mind when I told him about my herpes diagnosis. He talks a ton about the stigma being the biggest part of having herpes. To be honest, he didn’t really know a ton about herpes so one of his biggest questions or concerns was, will he die early because of the herpes diagnosis. And that’s a pretty legit concern. There are so many people who are miss education on this and think that herpes shortens your life. Just so we’re clear...herpes does not kill you!
Bill talks about the stigma and how it was created from the drug companies to try and sell the antiviral. The assumptions that go along with having herpes are that you were sleeping around, or that you’ve had a lot of partners. But the truth is that these were stories that were all enhanced to make people feel bad so that they’d get the drug.
So here’s the good news, there is a solution to when you have outbreaks. The pharmaceutical companies came up with an awesome drug that’s an antiviral and it really works. It cut’s down your outbreaks from a week or more to a couple of days.
The most important thing to Bill was knowing that we can have sex and have a normal sex life. Having herpes hasn’t gotten in the way of our relationship nor out sex life. It truly is all the stigma.
Ok and then Bill being the math guy did a calculation to see how much time we spend having sex. Basically to see how much or little of an impact having herpes really plays a role in your relationship. So if you have sex 3 times a week for 20 minutes at a time the time periods you’re actually having sex is less than .5% of the time that you’re on this life. So basically what that means is it’s the relationship that’s the important part, not the herpes part.
The 3 major things Bill was worried about when I disclosed to him were:
- You’re not going to die
- There is an antiviral
- Yes you can still have sex
So as you can see, education about herpes is key. It’s also key to have the disclosure conversation with your partner. We talk a ton about this in other videos so you can check them out. And of course, we talk about them in the Secret Society.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
137: 3 Reasons Why Your Herpes Diagnosis Is Good News
I know this can come to you as a huge surprise. You’re like, wait for what...good news?!?!?!?!?! F that!
Sound familiar? And you’ve probably added a ton of’s “there are nothing good about herpes” thoughts in there. Like, it broke up my relationship, it destroyed my dreams and I’ll never ever meet anyone who will love me because I have this.
Sound about right? Did I miss anything?
Ok… I get it. I felt the exact same way. It’s a shock and it hurts in so many ways when you’re diagnosed. But here’s the secret.
It’s just the stigma that is hurting you. That’s it. It’s just a lie or a fable or a stereotype.
Herpes is a virus that the majority of the population has and it causes annoying blisters once in a while. It’s not the big bad wolf and the reason for all things in life to collapse.
I bet you’re like ok, let’s get to the good news. Ok so here's the good news.
It’s A Wake-up Call
It’s an opportunity to look inward and see where some flaws were in my life. For example, when I was diagnosed I wasn't really taking care of myself. I wasn’t eating the right things, I wasn’t getting the right amount of sleep and basically, my lifestyle was stressful on my body. Maybe this sounds right up your alley or maybe you have different life experiences that you need to put some attention on. This is totally you’re opportunity to take a look, listen and reflect.
Set Boundaries
The good news is it’s 100% up to you to decide who you’re going to tell about your herpes diagnosis. I believe you don’t need to disclose to people unless you’re going to expose yourself. So instead of fearing the conversation take control and empower yourself to decide when and who gets to know. It’s now your opportunity to take control of your sexual health and your body. Opposed to assuming that everything’s fine because the persons cute and into you and you’re about to get laid.. Get out of your comfort zone and stand up for yourself. Set your boundaries, take control and get comfortable with the uncomfortable conversation.
Weed Out The Lookie-loos
At first, it might sound like you’re lowering your chances of meeting someone because you’re weeding out the people who don’t want to get to know you because you have herpes. It initially feels like this is the reason for rejection but really when you turn your perspective and look at how it’s going to let you know up front who’s really into you and who’s not.
It’s all about you looking at this as a glass half empty or a glass half full. Obviously, our first is half empty but when you begin to move through this and accept that you have herpes and that it’s not going to affect your life then move through it.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Shop the LWH Essentials
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
Vibrators are a $1 billion dollar market in the U.S. alone, one in two women get their buzz on, and 81% of women have brought one into bed with their guy. If you or your partner brings a toy into the bedroom, it’s important to not only know your partner’s history – but also that toy’s history.
Ok so as you know I talk about sex and herpes and the best way’s to protect yourself and of course your partner. But today I’m getting out of my comfort zone and talking about sex toys.
Ok so here’s the skinny on the vibrator world. It’s a $1billion dollar market in the US alone. And in 2020 it’s projected to be $30billion dollar marked worldwide! That’s crazy! Ok here’s the other thing 50% of women get their buzz on and 81% of women bring them into the bedroom with their partner. So let’s face it sex toys are not going away and if anything they are just getting more popular and accepted. YES!!!!
Ok but let’s get back to herpes. Can your sex toy transmit herpes?
The short and quick answer is...yes. But here’s why and let me explain.
First, before we get going we need to talk about two types of vibrators. There are porous and non-porous types of material. Just thinking about it porous means that there’s open spaces or holes and non-porous means that it's all sealed and not as open. So what that means for you and your sex toy is a non-porous toy is going to be your most sanitary and not as likely to let things grow in there. Meanwhile, porous vibrators can trap bacteria and dirt and once it’s in there you really can’t get it out.
Let’s break down the most common types of sex toy nonporous materials:
- Silicone - This material can be soft or firm but look for 100% silicone for the safest aka. Cleanest material
- ABS Hard Plastic - It's normally hard and easy to clean. Fewer hibijibes can get in there
- Glass - Well we know what glass is and it’s also super easy to clean
- Metal - This is also easy to clean and a hard surface
- Stones or Wood - they can be both porous and nonporous but you would want to find ones that have been sealed or treated.
Ok, so what this means for us is we need to make sure that we clean the vibrators before and after use. This will keep them as clean as possible and make sure that we cut down on the STI or herpes transmission. Also, we want to prevent possible UTI’s and yeast infections too.
But back to herpes and sex toys and transmission. If you're partner or you have herpes then it’s important that you, of course, disclose to them. Obvi. But it’s important that you’re aware that the toy can also act as a vehicle for transmission. Some people like to use condoms on their vibrators for easy cleaning and lessen the risk but if that's not your jam then no worries. If you’re using you’re vibrator with multiple people make sure that your sexual health is discussed and for best practice methods wash it between people.
Ok, so this was a fun one today... definitely out of my comfort zone...if you want some suggestion on the safest vibrators head over to my Amazon store.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Amazon store to get your vibes on
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
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There are foods that can help us and there are foods that can hurt us.
There are foods that can help us and there are foods that can hurt us. Here are some delicious ways to help prevent your herpes outbreak. Let’s face it. You are what you eat. At the end of the day what you put in your body will either help keep you healthy or make you sick. Food is a pleasure and there are so many yummy things out there. But at the same time, there are some foods that can really help us when it comes to our herpes outbreaks. With this being said by no means do I want you to deprive yourself of some delicious foods.
In past episodes, I’ve talked about foods to avoid for herpes outbreaks. Well’ let’s talk about some foods it includes that will help keep outbreaks away as well as help you recover faster when you have one.
Before we get into the foods we need to do a quick refresher on why these foods are helpful or harmful. It boils down to two essential amino acids, lysine, and arginine. They both are helpful and important for our bodies so we need to make sure they are included in our diet however too much of one can really increase the outbreaks. Arginine is like lighter fluid to the herpes virus. The virus loves the arginine rich diet, in fact, it feeds the virus. On the contrary, lysine is a fire extinguisher to the herpes virus.The virus considered a lysine rich environment in a hostile environment. So...that’s what we want to create, a hostile environment for the virus. I go way more in depth. Here’s the link.
So here are 3 foods that will help you prevent your herpes outbreaks: All of these foods are high in lysine and low in arginine. This lysine arginine ratio is key. Keep in mind you can never have a diet without one or the other, remember they are essential amino acids.
- Dairy - This includes all dairy types. Dairy is high in lysine and low in arginine. Dairy is a good source of vitamins and protein as well. Some examples of dairy products are: cheese, yogurt, kefir, sour cream milk, cottage cheese, and the list can go on. Of course, I have to put this out there that there’s a difference between the sugar processed dairy products and of course the organic low sugar or zero sugar added. Just saying, if you’re going down this health path you might as well do it right.
- Seafood - Seafood and shellfish are a great source of lysine. Really all types of fish are good for you but the key fishes are; tuna, halibut, sardines, and salmon. So a tuna sandwich is a great choice for lunch meanwhile add sardines to your pizza. Of course, you don’t have to stick to just these fishes go with what you love and enjoy.
- Avocado - Avocados are really good to include in your diet regardless of having herpes but in this case, they are helpful when fighting the virus. Avocados are nutrient dense and contain just about everything you need when it comes to fats, carbohydrates, and protein not to mention they are high in lysine. So add avocado to your daily diet.
For a list of the herpes diet meals you can click here and we’ll get it right over to you.
Back to what I was saying earlier. Don’t stress yourself out about foods as well as deprive your self or punish yourself if you eat something that could cause an outbreak. There are foods that are known to increase herpes outbreaks and I eat them regularly but I watch my consumption. This is just a guide for you to be in control of your health and help support you from a nutritional way. If you don’t like the foods I mentioned then skip it if you love them than that’s great news.
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Xoxo,
Alexandra
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I get a ton of questions from people in our Secret Society asking if they should date in a regular dating site like bumble, tinder or match or if they should go to a specific dating site for herpes. That's a great question! In my opinion, if having to reveal that you have herpes is going to hold you back from going on dates then absolutely go to a herpes dating site. The elephant is already out of the room and you both know that you each have herpes. What could be better than that?
Regardless of it being a “herpes only” dating site or a “religious dating” site or just a “hookup dating” site whatever it is you still have to fill out your profile and you still have to have the conversation about having herpes.
On any dating site they're going to start off the same types of questions; What's your gender, name, age, where do you live, what's your profession, ethnicity, do you want children, do you smoke, do you drink, and other pretty generic questions. A non herpes specific dating sites they’re now asking people about STD’s!!! One of the questions asked if you’d feel comfortable dating anyone with herpes! I think this is awesome!
With the herpes specific dating sites there are a lot of herpes specific questions. So before we get into necessarily how to answer that let's just talk a little bit about Herpes 101. Okay so there's two types of herpes that were concerned with here. One is HSV-1 and one is HSV-2. Both HSV-1 and HSV-2 can cause oral or genital herpes. One of the biggest misconceptions is that HSV-1 only stays in the oral region and will never go in the genital region or vice versa. Just an FYI there's a lot of people being diagnosed with HSV-1 genitally. If you want to learn more about herpes you can click here and here
Now back the dating sites and why it's important for you to know if you have HSV-1 or HSV-2. Here’s the deal it’s possible for you to contact the other herpes strain. A perfect example is my personal situation, I have HSV-1 and HSV-2. Have HSV-1 orally and HSV-2 genitally. It’s rare for people to get both strains of herpes however like my personal situation it is possible. So if that's something you're concerned with then it's really important that you're aware of what strain you have and potentially what strain your partner has.
Ok back to you filling out the dating site information on a herpes specific dating site it’s important to be as specific on your herpes location and type. This way you and your potential partners can have a heads up. Remember, as I was explaining earlier, you could have really any combination you can have HSV-1 orally or HSV-1 genitally you can have HSV 1 and 2 genitally you can have HSV-2 orally.
I took this from a dating site word-for-word and this is how it reads:
- HSV-1 usually cold sores
- HSV-1 usually genital
- HSV-2 usually cold sores
- HSV -2 usually genital
- I don’t know where I have herpes
- I don’t know what type I have
Okay, so if you know where you have herpes then click the appropriate box. But if you don't know let's help you figure that out.
There's a lot of situations where people know they have herpes and know where their outbreaks are but they don't know what type it is. If that's you the best thing for you to do is to go to your doctor or whoever diagnosed you and ask them to look into your paperwork and find what strain you have. The blood test or the swab test will tell you what strain it is. If it’s too much of a hassle for you to locate your original herpes diagnosis paperwork then ask your physician to run a blood test. Again, this is not crucial or required but it’s probably best to know what you have so that you can communicate that with your partner.
If you’re reading this and thinking how’s it possible for someone to not know where they have herpes well let me tell you. This happens all the time. These people are asymptomatic which means they don’t get outbreaks but because they have the viruses they’re still able to transmit the virus to potential partners. In this situation just fill out the questions to your best ability and let your potential partner know that you have herpes, you know what type it is but don’t know where you have it.
Ok, so I hope this helps you with the herpes dating sites and filling out what type you have and why it's important. Of course as always, if you have questions feel free to reach out to me.
Oh and here’s a list of the dating sites I recommend:
- MPWH
- Dating Positives
Life With Herpes Details: * Join the Secret Society * HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
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Ok on this episode my husband, Bill, joins me to talk about our relationship, sex life, and intimacy.
Bill shares his point of view about being intimate with me and how it’s not really a big deal at all. The only time me having herpes comes up in our intimate relationship is when I have an outbreak. It’s so easy to crawl into a hole and pretend like you don't have an outbreak or get super angry and mad at the world. This helps nobody. It doesn’t help you it doesn’t help your partner and it doesn’t help your sexual relationship.
We handle it by having a conversation about it. That’s it. I just let Bill know that I either feel like one’s coming on or I have one or sometimes I don’t know what’s going on. But the point is I let him know what’s up.
Bill share’s how it’s no big deal at all and there are ways that we get creative if there is the physical need. Because let’s face it...sometimes there are needs. Right?!
Just because it’s not “traditional” sex doesn’t mean that it’s not sex or doesn’t mean it’s not intimate. So get that thought out of your mind.
Then Bill and I go on to share a concept when it comes to sex. Ok so hear me out… Sex is like a sneeze!!!
I know you’re going what???!!!
So when you think about it sex is about 20 minutes. Right? Give or take a bit but in all seriousness, on average it's about 20 minutes. Well, that’s like a sneeze!!! Everything else is intimacy. Everything else is the sexy part. So that means it’s the look, its the touch, its the fun life things you do together. It’s flirting, it’s putting on some sexy lingerie, cooking together or whatever it is. That's the real intimacy part!!! All that stuff is foreplay!!!
So get it out of your head that sex is just the verb. There’s so much more to sex than the act. Intimacy is fun!!!
Bill share’s a story about how I tease him by putting on my little sexy outfit...you’ll have to watch or listen to hear his story.
I then go into talking about how having herpes it doesn’t make me feel less sexy, less desirable, less like a woman. It doesn’t have an effect on our marriage or our sex life.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
Ok on this episode my husband, Bill, joins me to talk about our relationship, sex life, and intimacy.
Bill shares his point of view about being intimate with me and how it’s not really a big deal at all. The only time me having herpes comes up in our intimate relationship is when I have an outbreak. It’s so easy to crawl into a hole and pretend like you don't have an outbreak or get super angry and mad at the world. This helps nobody. It doesn’t help you it doesn’t help your partner and it doesn’t help your sexual relationship.
We handle it by having a conversation about it. That’s it. I just let Bill know that I either feel like one’s coming on or I have one or sometimes I don’t know what’s going on. But the point is I let him know what’s up.
Bill share’s how it’s no big deal at all and there are ways that we get creative if there is the physical need. Because let’s face it...sometimes there are needs. Right?!
Just because it’s not “traditional” sex doesn’t mean that it’s not sex or doesn’t mean it’s not intimate. So get that thought out of your mind.
Then Bill and I go on to share a concept when it comes to sex. Ok so hear me out… Sex is like a sneeze!!!
I know you’re going what???!!!
So when you think about it sex is about 20 minutes. Right? Give or take a bit but in all seriousness, on average it's about 20 minutes. Well, that’s like a sneeze!!! Everything else is intimacy. Everything else is the sexy part. So that means it’s the look, its the touch, its the fun life things you do together. It’s flirting, it’s putting on some sexy lingerie, cooking together or whatever it is. That's the real intimacy part!!! All that stuff is foreplay!!!
So get it out of your head that sex is just the verb. There’s so much more to sex than the act. Intimacy is fun!!!
Bill share’s a story about how I tease him by putting on my little sexy outfit...you’ll have to watch or listen to hear his story.
I then go into talking about how having herpes it doesn’t make me feel less sexy, less desirable, less like a woman. It doesn’t have an effect on our marriage or our sex life.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
When we look down and see a bump or a cut or a red spot it’s either one of two reactions. Either it’s an OMG WTF I’m going to die or we just shrug it off and assume it’s nothing.
Which one are you?
In other episodes, I talk about in detail what herpes symptoms are, what they look like and how you’re going to feel. Today I want to get the nitty-gritty on what’s not herpes. If you’re wondering about symptoms go here to check out past episode 101 here.
What’s Not Herpes:
- Pimple which includes whiteheads, blackheads & cysts
- Ingrown hair
- Canker sore
- Contact Dermatitis (Skin rashes) - from poison ivy, laundry detergent, perfumes, medications, lotions, etc.
- Scabies
- Jock itch
- Bug Bites
- Yeast infection
- Syphilis
- Gonorrhea
So normally I don’t recommend going to google because there are so many scary photos up there and then it can become daunting and plain scary. I mean I’m the type of person who takes my dog to the vet and I look at the heartworm photos and think that I have heartworm. So.. if that’s you then do your best to stay away. But, if you’re wondering about any of the items I discussed earlier and want to know more then check it out.
Here’s the thing, nobody ever thinks that it’s herpes. But, the majority of the population has herpes so if you see something that raises your eyebrow or makes you wonder to go get it checked out. ASAP. Living in limbo is worse than the diagnosis. To seek herpes treatment and potential diagnosis go here to HerpAlert. Use the promo code: lifewithherpes to receive 10% off. I’m obsessed with HerpAlert and what they offer when it comes to privacy, the ability to talk to an MD doctor and receive a diagnosis within the hour. Check them out.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
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Let's talk about sex, getting tested and standing up for your sexual health! Thank goodness we are in a time in history where we can have an STD awareness month. And have a plethora of information to educate ourselves so that we can protect ourselves and our partners.
STD’s or STI’s have a huge stigma but the thing is that there’s a 110 million Americans living with STI’s. In case you’re wondering how many Americans there are about 325 million Americans. So this means that 34% of Americans have an STD/STI. This is huge and to think there’s still a stigma is frustrating.
So let me break this down, according to the CDC there’s:
- 20 million new STI cases a year
- 50% of the cases are in young people from ages 15-24
- Only 12% of the young people say they’ve been tested
So what does this mean...we need to educate and learn how to talk about sex and have the confidence to stand up for our sexual health? This means that it’s ok to ask your partner to wear a condom and if your partner refuses then it’s ok to say NO. It’s ok to require your partner to get tested for STI’s before having sex. If your partner doesn’t want to get tested or won’t share the results with you then it should be a red flag to say NO. It’s ok to ask you’re a partner if they have other partners. Basically what I’m saying is you need to stand up for yourself and have a conversation with your partner before becoming sexually active as well as once you’ve begun a sexual relationship.
Here’s what you need to do to protect yourself:
- Talk about your sexual heal with your partner
- Get tested before having sex
- Find out if you’re exclusive or if there are multiple partners
- Use protection aka. Condoms,
I know I talk about this all the time but I need to make sure I mention it today is just because you ask for a STD test it doesn’t mean that you’ve been tested for herpes. Yep! Shocking right? So you specifically have to ask for a herpes test. I’ve heard from our Secret Society members that in some countries it’s hard to get a herpes test unless you have signs of blisters. But...it’s your health and you need to stand up for you!
This can sound kinda corny but it’s true. I mean I believe sex is a natural part of life but it doesn’t mean that you need to become sexually active until you’re ready. So with that being said, sex is a choice. It’s 100% up to you to decide when you want to have sex so with that being said you need to make sure you’re 100% ready to have the sexual health talk and take proper precautions to get tested and talk to your partner. Truly there’s nothing sexier than communicating and getting vulnerable together before jumping between the sheets.
If you want to learn more about getting tested for herpes go to HerpAlert.com. I’m obsessed with the company because they are the leading telehealth company for herpes diagnosis. It’s private and an MD will diagnoses you within the hour and have your prescription sent to your pharmacy of choice. It’s that simple. Oh, and if you use the promo code:lifewithherpes you’ll get 10% off. Go to HerpAlert and check it out.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
We’ve all heard the saying people talk about sexual diseases and don’t catch one. We’re taught in sex ed “or maybe we’re taught” that having sex can lead to STI’s, in our case herpes and other things. And so with that said we go out into the world and become sexually active and think that the only way we can get “something” is by having sex. The other big thing we’re told is that if you use a condom then you’re fine but that’s another whole topic.
So…today I want to talk about way’s herpes can be transmitted to protect you and you’re partners.
Before we go into the sexual ways herpes can be transmitted let's do a little breakdown on why and how herpes is transmitted.
Also if you want to get the full deets on herpes you can click here.
Herpes is a virus and it’s skin to skin transmission. So, in other words, you catch herpes from touching someone else who has the herpes virus. Don’t freak out, this does not mean that if you touch someone you’ll immediately get herpes or if you have herpes you can never have human contact again. What it means is if you touch someone in the area that the person is infected in then you’re at a pretty high risk of contracting the herpes virus.
So for example, if you have genital herpes and you hug someone then you are not at risk of transmitting herpes. Unless, of course, you used your genitals to hug someone...lol. So does that make sense?
Here’s another example, if you have oral herpes and you have sex with someone and don’t kiss them then the person is not at risk of getting herpes.
I just want to clarify that if you have oral herpes you have to use your mouth to transmit it and the same thing goes for genital herpes, you have to use your genitals to transmit herpes.
Now that we have an understanding of how herpes transmission works let’s go into sexual ways you can transmit herpes.
Oral sex - Ok so most of us don’t think that STI’s or STD’s can be transmitted with oral sex. But the truth is it can. In fact, herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HPV, and hepatitis b can be transmitted through oral sex, the only thing that’s 100% not possible is pregnancy. What this means is oral sex is not a great solution to not having a condom or an easy way to “not have the conversation” about safe sex. Oral sex transmission is just as probable as vaginal sex. THere’s a lot of new herpes cases that pop up from just having oral sex.
Anal sex - this is not as common as vaginal sex or oral sex however, you can still transmit herpes and other STD’s with anal sex. This again goes back to the skin to skin transmission. The herpes virus likes the anus just as much as other parts of the genital area. In fact, that's typically where I get my outbreaks and I know I’m not alone because there’s a lot of members in our secret society who get their outbreaks there too and are confused about why it’s there.
Foreplay - I looked up the definition of foreplay and basically to get to the point its, sexual behavior that precedes sexual intercourse. What does that mean or what does that cover? That means that there’s touching! Whatever you and your partner want to do during foreplay is up to you but my guess is that there’s some type of skin to skin contact and I’d say the majority of the time there’s no condom or protection being used. So just because you’re not having “sex” you’re not out of the woods. Herpes can still be transmitted.
Spooning or cuddling - Ok so you’re either keeping it PG or you’ve just finished either way there’s a possibility for herpes transmission. A perfect example of this is after sex the condom comes off and there’s potential cuddle time. And with cuddle time comes skin to skin contact. And with that comes the potential for transmission. Or you’re not even doing anything sexual but you’re spooning while you’re sleeping and you guys sleep naked. Again...it’s skin to skin and potential for transmission.
Ok so what’s I’m trying to get across is a couple of things. 1) just having sex doesn’t transmit herpes 2) you really need to communicate with your partner about having herpes 3)please don’t let this stop you from having skin to skin contact or be afraid of touching your partner.
I want you to think about are if you’re engaging in sexual activities such as oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, foreplay then you need to be using protection aka a condom the entire time. Not just during the act of sex. Use it during foreplay and be responsible about using it. When you’re all done take precautions and if that means putting on your underwear to cuddle then do it.
By communicating with your partner you guys can talk about what you both feel comfortable with. When couples are in communication about having herpes it makes it so much easier to prevent transmission.
Back to this communication thing, and condoms and not telling your partner, I think I’ve painted a picture of how herpes can be transmitted even with using a condom. Because say you used a condom but didn’t use it during foreplay...boom that was skin to skin.
Life With Herpes Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
Ok so let’s get right to it. When we are diagnosed with herpes we feel and also pretty much believe that everything about our lives is over. We’re hard on ourselves and punish ourselves for getting herpes. I mean all that we did was have sex just like the 97% of American adults. T he difference is that we got herpes.
So when the trauma of the diagnosis sets in we think that we’ll never fall in love or worse, the person we love will never love us. We think that we’ll never be parents. Or we think that we can’t get that dream job that we’ve been working so hard for. Let me tell you this is total BS!
All that we have is herpes. It’s a virus that causes annoying and sometimes painful blisters. That’s it. Having the virus dose not mean that we won’t get into the collage of our dreams or get our dream job offer.
So here’s why I want to prove this. Even astronauts have herpes. Yep astronauts.
Do you know how prestigious it is to be an astronaut. I mean not everyone can just wake up and decide they want to be an astronaut. It takes years and a ton of hard work. It requires an engineering degree so all of you who think that having herpes will prevent you from a badass degree like engineering think again. You need three years of professional experience, you need 1000 hours of flight training and the list goes on and on.
Ok so if you’re like what does this have to do with herpes...I’m not an astronaut and neither are you. Just hold on a sec.
A recent article came out talking about astronauts and herpes. Yep...even highly educated and highly respected men and women like astronauts have herpes.
If they have it and can navigate a rocket to the moon then you my dear can do anything you want too.
Let me tell you more about the astronauts in space with herpes. It’s pretty fascinating if you ask me. So this whole thing started out as testing immune systems of astronauts while in space.
Samples of blood, urine and saliva were collected from astronauts before, during and after space travel. These trips were short and long term space missions.
Also, I think these numbers will make you feel a little better… there’s a ton of astronauts with herpes. There’s a total of 112 astronauts to date now out of the 112 there are 61 with the herpes virus. That means that 54% of the astronauts have herpes. And yes, this is a combination of both genial and oral herpes.
Ok so back to what I was saying earlier about how common the herpes virus is and how we shouldn’t let it hold us back. The majority of astronauts have herpes!
According to Satish Mehta at Johnson Space Center ,they found that the Herpes viruses is reactivated in more than half of the astronauts due to the space travel. "These frequencies -- as well as the quantity -- of viral shedding are markedly higher than in samples from before or after flight, or from matched healthy controls."
Just to clarify the reactivation of the viruses doesn't necessarily mean that the symptoms return. So just because the virus was reactivated it didn’t mean that the astronauts had herpes outbreaks. Actually only 6 had active outbreaks and they were minor.
So basically the magnitude, frequency and duration of viral shedding all increase with length of spaceflight," Mehta said. In other words the longer the mission the more the astronauts had viral shedding.
Alright, so here’s the deal. The majority of the population have herpes. Yes, when we’re diagnosed it sucks. It’s really embarrassing and the news can be destructive to our relationships as well as our ego. What I want you to take from today is don’t give up on your dreams just because you have herpes. Remember more that 50% of astronauts have herpes and they have a pretty prestigious job.
Shoot for your stars and the moon and don’t let herpes hold you back from your dreams.
I’m going to leave you with one of my favorite quotes.
“ A dream is a wish your heart makes.” - Walt Disney
Life With Herpes
Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
Life With Herpes
As we all know there’s a couple of ways to treat ailments or sickness when it happens. We can go to the doctor and get antibiotics or some type of prescription, we can go the holistic way or we can do nothing. In the past decades we got away from the holistic way and anytime we had a sniffle or our finger hurt we to the doctor to get an antibiotic. Now more and more people are turning towards holistic ways to treat a sickness or in our case a herpes outbreak.
Personally, I do both the medical western methods and the holistic eastern methods. We’re lucky that with modern technology and advancements we can cure and treat so many illnesses. However, I’m a huge fan of pulling something out of my cupboard and using it to aid in healing or even doing the job. I mean, it’s pretty cool to think that things you keep in your cupboard can help a herpes outbreak heal.
Here are some of my favorite holistic ways to clear up and treat an outbreak.
- Essential Oils
If you’ve been binge-watching or listening to Life With Herpes for a while you know how much I love essential oils. They are compounds extracted from plants. There’s hundreds of them and they all do something a little different. If you want to know more then you can do your own research on them. But the bottom line is they can have some major impacts on your mood and even your health. The essential oils I use and recommend for herpes outbreaks; melaleuca or commonly known as tea tree oil, lavender oil, peppermint oil, and oregano oil. You can refer to x episode to learn more about how I use them and why I love them.
- Vanilla Extract
Ok so vanilla extract is what you use when you make chocolate chip cookies or for your other baking needs. Personally I think vanilla makes everything taste better! Did you know vanilla also contains alcohol? So with that being said you can use vanilla extract instead of rubbing alcohol to sanitize. This would be ideal if you have an oral outbreak and let’s be honest, vanilla tastes way way way better than rubbing alcohol...yuck! The vanilla extract will help clean and dry out the herpes sore so it will heal faster. Just use a q-tip and dab the sore with vanilla.
- Epsom Salt Baths
Epsom Salt Baths are some of my favorite baths!!! I was introduced to them a while back by a physical therapist who recommended that all athletes or people who exercise regularly should be taking epsom salt baths a couple of times a week. I’ll be honest, I don’t make the time to do them weekly but if or when I have an outbreak I’ll hop in the tub and soak. The epsom salts really really do help sooth the pain, help with itching, dry out the sore and a bonus is the epsom salts also calm your nervous system. And if you have an outbreak then chances are your nervous system is on over drive and needs you to take an Epsom salt bath. My favorite thing to do is add some lavender essential oil to the bath, it's all sorts of goodness.
- Coconut Oil
I feel like a while back coconut was the miracle drug or all the answers to your medical needs. Suddenly everything was coconut oil. Well, I’m a huge fan of coconut oil for all sorts of things like cooking over 400 degrees or using it as a natural lotion, my husband and I even use it for lube! But for herpes applying coconut oil to your genitals will really help alleviate pain. One of the symptoms is itching or a burning like irritation adding coconut oil to the sore or the itchy area can help sooth the pain. Getting back to the miracles of coconut oil but in all seriousness coconut oil is pretty amazing, it’s antiviral, anti bacterial, antifungal and it has other great health benefits if your consuming it. But to stay on topic with herpes we’ll just talk about using it topically.
Something that you can use to kill a couple of birds with one stone is Woo More Play lube. Yes, I’m talking about lube and herpes. I know that if you have an outbreak right now lube or sex is the last thing you want to do. But you can use Woo More Play to help with your outbreak. The ingredients are all organic which include coconut oil (yay), vanilla extract (double yay) and two other ingredients like bees wax which helps with swelling and stevia which helps remove any bacteria. So it’s a win win. You can use your lube to help with your outbreak! Click Here To Buy Woo More Play.
If you’re missing any of these herpes outbreak essentials you can purchase them on Amazon, go here to visit the Life With Herpes Amazon store.
Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
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127: Herpes Work Life Balance With Herpalert And Kristy Spraggon
Today I had the pleasure of sitting down with HerpAlert and Kirsty Spraggon of Kirsty TV. Also, I had the worst cold ever and was overloaded on DayQuil, so I apologize in advance. Lol. But in light of being sick we had a great time and we covered all sorts of fun thing about herpes, dating, outbreaks. Something I found interesting was how we both handled the work life balance when it came to herpes and our diagnosis.
Let me back up a bit and bring you up to date with our diagnosis. Both Kirsty and I were in our 20’s when we learned about our herpes diagnosis. We both share how were in a state of looking for acceptance from the wrong sources and trying to figure out this thing called life. Of course, when we learned about our diagnosis we were in shock and we both went into a dark hole. Now how we came out of our dark phases and learning to live with this herpes diagnosis were our individual stories.
I’m sure you’ll relate to one or the other or both.
When I was diagnosed I was struggling financially, I was struggling with my career, I was trying to date and find love. I was a hot mess!. When I found out I was HSV2 positive I went through the levels of anger, resentment, the why me phase and so on. But what I decided at the end of the day was that I won’t become a victim to the virus and the stigma.
Truly being diagnosed with herpes forced me to look myself in the mirror and make the changes that needed to happen. It was like cutting the umbilical cord or that little extra nudge that forced me to grow into who I am today. It forced me to get my career together, it forced me to get my finances organized, it forced me to take care of my body and it forced me to stand up for myself and what I wanted in a romantic relationship. It didn’t happen overnight but it got it together and I thank my herpes diagnosis for it. I give some tips on how I turned myself around in this video and so does Kirsty.
Now Kirsty shares how herpes forces us to go on a journey of self-awareness and how it forced her to dig deep. She says how her confidence was blown, not that there was a lot there before her diagnosis but what was there was shot. It was very interesting how she decided to overcompensate for her herpes diagnosis. It’s the mindset of oh I’m hurt or I’m in that shame phase and I don’t want anyone to know about it so I’m going to go into overdrive and prove my worth. Kristy refers to it as going into her hypermasculine. Meaning she decided that she was going to be the top real estate agent, that she was going to bring in the money to prove how worthy she was. Meanwhile, the root of the issue was not being addressed. This all came along with binge eating, drinking too much and not respecting herself. Basically, she was putting up a wall and not letting anything or anyone in. This is something that Kristy says she sees a ton when working with people who are just diagnosed.
Kirsty shares that getting herpes has 100% gotten her to where she is today. The pain and difficult time helped her get through all the roadblocks and overcome what she needed to in order to show up as her best self.
At the end of the day, both Kristy and I discuss how being in the shame phase, or the victim phase is a choice. We both made the choice to overcome it. To overcome it yourself you can reach out to us.
For more information about HerpAlert, http://www.lifewithherpes.com/diagnosis
If you’d like to reach out to Kirsty Spraggon you can https://kirstyspraggon.com/
I love doing interviews like these because they allow us to share our one version of a very similar story.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
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https://youtu.be/Iswf4pNxAg8 Life With Herpes
I have to imagine that dating has been around since the first humas roamed this earth. Finding love, compaionship, friendship and the desire to reproduce is just in our DNA. And from my opinion it’s in pretty much every species DNA. Now, don’t quote me on that, I’m in no way a National Geographic or Animal Planet expert. But what I’m saying is we are born to desire companionship and reproduce. If we didn’t have that then our specise would be extint.
Clearly as humas we’re here and were thriving so the union, companionship and lust is still pretty strong. In my opinion over the years, there’s been this huge pressure to find the right one a young age and then settle down and work on building your dreams together. Well.. can we all agree it’s not that easy.
To singles dating is looked at as this daunting activity and to married people it’s looked at as go have fun and enjoy. I guess the grass will always be greener.
Now I can say that there were times in my life when I loved dating and there were times in my life where I was so over it. I can honestly say now that I’m married that I don’t miss that phase of my life but I’m super glad I had about a decade of dating.
Are you wondering when I’m going to get to the dating and herpes?
Ok so let’s get to it. When you’re diagnosed with herpes one of the thoughts that haunts you is who will ever date me now. The thought of being wrothless or no longer equal to the non herpes dating community or that you now have this huge secret and you’re scared of the rejection.
I’ll be honest, I didn’t end the reationship with the guy who gave me herpes for about 2 years because I was so scared to get out there and I thought I’d be alone. I knew that I had to build my confidence before I could move on. Once I was ready to get out there and dated I made the decison to say yes to anyone who asked me. I decicded to have fun with it. I decided to enjoy this time on my life because I knew that I wouldnt be here forever and this phase would come to an end. And you know what… I learned a ton along the way.
Here are some great reasons to get out there and date. Yes, even though you have herpes.
You Learn More About Who You Are This is so great. You think you know who you are because I mean, you’re you. But when you start dating thinks might get poined out to you or you might have some big ah ha moments. This might sound silly but when I was 19 I went out on a date with a guy and on that date he opened the car door for me. I was stopped in my tracks. I’d never had a date do that for me. I didn’t know that I really like it when he did that. It made me feel special, and it made me feel feminin and I’d get all giddy inside. I learned from then on that that was something that was important to me. And if you’re wondering yes, my husband opens my door for me every time. Now this migh not be importatnt to you but my point is you’ll pick up on something that will be a deal breaker.
You Learn More About Who You Want To Find As A Partner So with this I mean you’ll be better at learnin whats importatnt to you with lifestyle and the more people you date you’ll get better at weeding out the ones who you don’t jibe with. I mean let’s think about it… do we all have that hight school crush. Either the senior quaterback or the hot valdictorial or whoever? We all have that one crush. So I had a HUGE crush on this one guy. I mean huge and I wasn’t allowed to date him becase he was a senior and I was a freshman and my parents shut that down asap. But I got the chanse to go on a date with him when I was in my late 20’s. It was like a dream come true. I mean I daydreamed about him all the time and now 10 years later I get to go on a date. Well, let me tell you, he’s an awesome guy and I have noting bad to say abou this personality and who he is as a person but I have to say that when we went out he wasn’t the cursh I used to have. I realised our lifestyles were different our political views were differend our religios belives were different and theses were all pretty big deals to me. My point is, had I not dated many differe people in that timeframe since my freshman year in highschool I wouldn’t have known that these differences would have been really importatnt to me.
You Get To Get Good At Disclosing About Herpes I know this is something you never wanted to be good at but let’s look at it as a positive. You can get really good at your disclosre. Now as you know I feel you don’t need to disclose unless you’re going to expose someone to herpes. And just beaxuase you’re going on a date or dating it doesn’t mean you have to sleep together. What this means is you can decide if you want to practice on the person sitting across from you. Sometimes you’ll be on a date and you know you have no intrest in persuing this to a second dated. So why not give yourself a dress rehersal? What’s the worst that can happen...you never see them agian?
You Get To Have Fun And Meet New People Ok I know there’s other ways to do this but a lot of times your date can end up becoming a great friend and even introduce you to a whole new sphere of people you’d like to be friends with. And going on dates can be really fun. The key is not to have your wedding planned out before you even go on date 1. Have fun planning a date or have fun being taken out. You get to try new restaurants or go to new places in your city that maybe you’ve never been too or even to try something new. We get so caught up in is this person worth my time and will this person be the one that we forget to have fun along the way.
Ok so at the end of the day, dating is an important part of learning who you are and what you want in your life and what you want from your partner. Basically, herpes should never be in control of your life and your decisions. It shouldn't prevent you from dating, it shouldn't prevent you from following your dreams and it should never prevent you from living your life.
I’m curious to hear your take on dating. Let me know in the comments below.
Xoxox,
Alexandra
Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/11Ebb-kBXcA Today we’re going to talk about dating and online dating when it comes to herpes. I get asked frequently about being able to date even though you have herpes. Dating can be a scary and daunting period. I mean… we set out to find love, companionship, lust, and friendship in a partner. Not to mention all the other little lifestyle factors that have to come into play.
The way we act today as humans is so different than before smartphones and the internet. Back even 10 years ago we could sit at a Starbucks and strike up a conversation with someone there. We could strike up a convo while in line at the grocery store or even ask the cute bank teller out. The point I’m making is that we didn’t have our noses in our phones or earbuds in our ears playing our favorite podcast. We were out and even if we didn’t think we were being extroverts and social but we were.
Now, it’s so easy to hide behind our computer at work or go home and have everything we want at our fingertips from Netflix to Uber Eats to endless hours of scrolling through Insta. Before all of this we’d have to go to blockbuster to rent a movie and unless it was pizza we’d have to go out to eat and Insta wasn’t even invented.
So online dating is something that has opened doors for us through the use of technology. I can about 15 years ago when online dating came out and there were so many people who were not in favor of this trend. I can remember girlfriends saying that they want to meet Mr. Right the old fashioned way. Or couples that actually did meet online and found love and got married would sometimes change their story of how they met. They were embarrassed to say that they met online.
Fast forward to now and online dating is a norm. There’s estimated to be over 2500 sites out there serving millions of people worldwide. There some that are specific to age, income, lifestyle, religion, race and yep...even herpes.
As we’ve discussed many many many times dating and herpes is one of the biggest fears that we have once we’re diagnosed. We wonder if we’re deserving of love and if anyone will ever love us with this disease. Well, you know how I feel about that...its all bull shit and it’s the stigma that’s putting those thoughts in your mind. But regardless, I get how terrifying it can be to disclose to someone new about having herpes and the fear of rejection can be paralyzing. So a great solution is online dating. Here are some pros and cons of the online dating world:
The Pros Of Online Dating Differentiate Between Dating, Hooking up & Gettin Married This is something you can make clear by your profile or through your initial conversations. A lot of times the dating application will ask you if you’re looking for friends, casual dating or if you’re looking to get serious and settle down. This is all great news and easy to set the expectations for your future dates
Expands Your Pool Of Potentials With online dating, you get to expand your reach to people you might have never met by chance. Hey as we all know dating is a numbers game so the more people you meet the chances are you’ll find someone you connect with. The old fashioned way of dating only allows you to go so far in your sphere of friends vs a large online dating database.
Personality You get to specify your personality interest and what you’re looking for in a date. If you love scuba diving and want to meet a scuba diving partner then boom you can make that a requirement.
Disclosing About Your Herpes Diagnosis A huge benefit to online dating is finding online herpes dating communities. There’s a list to pick from obviously but one of the benefits is knowing that you're preaching to the choir when you disclose about genital herpes. This is awesome!!!!
The Cons Of Online Dating Dangers Of The Unknown As we all know people can not really be who they say they are. This is nothing new but it’s become really easy to create a profile or become someone else through social media. Since it’s super easy to just click some buttons or add photos from 1995 we don’t really know who the person is that we're going on a date with. I mean you can’t really ask for bank statements, do a background check and ask for medical records on the first date. Most of the time people are honest and good but we’ve all heard those horror stories of the dual personality and people who are married with a separate family. Yes, this can happen without online dating but usually, you date someone in your sphere so you’ll know something about them.
Time Consuming To Build A Profile & Communicate Online dating can be time cosuming. As you know from past experience or could imagine there’s a ton of questions that are asked to pull together your profile and then link you to people who will be a good match. This process can take time up front. Not to mention the time you’ll spend swiping around in the app and chatting with people who wink at you. To some, this can be fun but for others, it’s just a time suck.
One Dimensional Conversation Your conversation will be one-dimensional meaning you’re only communicating at first through the app or text. Yes, this can be on you’re own time but also when you’re only texting you don’t get to know peoples voices, humor, humility or even feel out their chemistry. Yes once you go out and meet them you’ll see this but you could pass on someone just because you’re not a texter.
Software's In Control Of Who You Meet Earlier we talked about the software being a pro because it can introduce you to people you most likely wouldn't have come across because they’re not in your sphere. But a con can be that the software or your settings control who you meet. So for example, I would have never been matched with my husband because I had criteria of only dating someone 10 years older. Now of course if I met someone in person and they were 12 or 15 years older I’d accept a date but if I were putting this on my profile I would have had to draw the line at something. Thus I’d never had me, Bill, because he’s 20 years older than I. So sometimes putting the restrictions on can prevent an introduction.
As you can see there’s a ton to think about when it comes to taking the steps to date and then, of course, the steps to online date. Regardless of the decision, you pick it’s the right one for you. Not ways are right for everyone. If you're looking for a great herpes online dating site I personally recommend Dating Positives. You can go here to learn more about them.
Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
- Dating Positives - online herpes dating site
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/-fIg8a61WvY The ego is a really strong influence on our lives. The ego has some really good quality and of course, it can have some bad qualities.
The ego has many definitions and to some, it can be described as the little devil that sits on your shoulder. But the ego is basically a little voice inside you that wants to feel special and wants to prove it’s self. At the same time, the ego could be seen as it’s lacking confidence so it needs to be boisterous and the life of the part. Regardless, we all have an ego and it can take years and practice learning how to manage it and not let it take over us.
Back to the bad qualities of our ego friend. Our ego doesn’t like being wrong, it doesn’t like being made fun of, and it most certainly can’t take criticism. And guess what the stigma has made herpes out to be? All of the above. By saying, “I have herpes!” to the ego this translates as I F@C%ED UP. Not at all what the ego’s about. The ego is all about winning and proving that you’ve always made the right choices.
Some traits of people who let their ego take over might go into the victim role and blame others for their mistake or loss or whatever. So in the situation of having herpes, it’s so easy to point the finger at the person who gave you herpes or the person you think gave you herpes. It’s so easy to say they just ruined my life and now I’m not going to ______ insert whatever you want. Not going to get married, not going to ever find someone who loves me, not ever going to have the career of my dreams, not ever going to whatever because of the A$$ HOLE who gave me herpes. This blame game is really not helpful to anyone. It doesn’t help you and all it does is build up your ego.
Ok, so the key thing here is to get your ego out of the way especially when it comes to telling your partner that you have herpes. For all the reasons I’ve listed above the ego doesn’t want to admit its wrong or put its self in a position to I can be the brunt of the joke or gossip. But I’m sure we all can admit that it’s going to be the best and long term only option for a relationship.
We’ve gone over and over why it’s important to tell your partner about having herpes and of course we’ve discussed why its a really uncomfortable and potentially painful conversation. I want you to remember that it’s your ego who doesn't want you to share this. It’s your egos way of saying I’m scared $h!tless and I don't want to be in this position. Well, its tough beans for your ego.
So as silly as it sounds this is what I want you to do, let your ego know that it’ok that she’s (or he’s) scared. Heck, you’re scared too. But you know that this is going to be the best thing for your relationship and you really want to move forward with this partner.
Once you have the convo and let him or her know then your ego will calm down. It will either be proved wrong or try to prove that it was right. Just know that you need to put your ego aside and bite the bullet.
Take a deep breath and have the conversation!
Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh yea and just incase you need some Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/Ov-EwBicZoY Obviously, if we have herpes we want to do everything in our power to prevent another outbreak. Right?
Of course, as I’ve discussed time and time again, we’re all different. Some people will get an initial outbreak and then never have another one. Some people are asymptomatic and either they don’t know they have herpes or justs never have outbreaks. And others get them all the time. Now, I don’t know how some people can be asymptomatic, that’s a secret we all want to know but I do know some key things that play a role.
Let’s talk about some triggers and some possible changes we can make in our day to day life.
Immune System , Stress & Diet Immune System Our immune system is probably one of the most intricate and important functions in our body. Our immune system basically dictates whether we can go to that fun party on Friday night or travel or basically enjoy what life has to offer. When we’re run down or worse are sick we don’t get to go out an enjoy life. Our health is the key to life and with that so’s our immune system. If you are like me and were raised in the ’80s and ’90s at the time our medical professionals gave us antibiotics for basically anything and everything. While antibiotics are awesome and save lives they also can be overprescribed and even do some harm on our immune system. There is good bacteria that is essential to our overall health. If that’s missing then our body can’t do what it needs to do to keep us healthy. The best thing is to have your vials tested and see if you have any deficiencies in your system. This all is woven together and affects your immune system do if your deficient in a mineral or vitamin it can really help get you to your strongest. Take daily vitamins, our soil is so depleted and we as a whole eat so much processed food that it’s hard for us to get the vitamins and nutrients that we need from just our food. And finally where you’ll see huge changes is if you add a daily probiotic. Probiotics are the good bacteria that live in your gut and keeps away the bad bacteria and helps keep our immune system healthy. I’ve linked the one that I use but when you go to your local health food store ask the vitamin specialist which one is right for you and your needs.
Stress Stress is something we hear about all the time. Yet in a way, it’s hard to measure stress. It’s almost like it’s this invisible thing that you carry around with you. We all have stress and stress can be a good thing but if it gets to be too much it can reach havoc on our lives and our health. Stress can be cause for things like heart disease, asthma, anxiety, obesity, diabetes, depression, premature aging, and even death. Not to mention other hardships it can cause on you or your family. So stress can cause outbreaks. The really good thing about this is that we can know when our bodies are stressed to the max. Herpes is like our own little stress indicator. No outbreaks then stress must be low or under control. Outbreak after Outbreak must mean you’re pushing yourself to the max. Learning to let things go and not add the stress to your plate will have a huge effect on your outbreaks. Try meditation, taking daily walks, doing your best to pinpoint what actually stresses you out and compartmentalize it.
Diet This is another big deal in people like you and me who have herpes. Really, diet is a key ingredient in our lives. We all know that whole, organic, real foods are better for us and processed, preservatives and fake food aren’t. But with our busy schedules and being on the go fast food and unhealthy food is just easy. Not to mention it tastes good. I mean who doesn’t love In n out? There are some foods that you can keep an eye on and do your best to have in moderation. These foods either are triggers for outbreaks or they are linked to lowering our immunosystem. These are foods like fast food, fried food, nuts, peanuts, chocolate, sugar, processed foods, coconut, and starchy foods. I go into more detail on this episode 107 if you want the nitty-gritty. But the bottom line does your best to fuel yourself with real foods. Your body will never be upset with a fresh orange or a fresh summer salad.
Like I mentioned earlier I don’t have the secret recipe to getting rid of herpes outbreaks forever but I do know some key things that will increase your outbreaks. I hope you take a second to look over your lifestyle and see how you’re doing with your immune system, the stress you have in your life and look at your diet. If you need resources in any of these areas feel free to reach out and I’ll point you in the right direction.
Details: * Join the Secret Society * HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case… Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Oh Yea and in case you need Herpes Outbreak Essentials
Are you social?
https://youtu.be/hOY1PM0c-Eo Life With Herpes There’s always an initial thought that goes through all of our heads when we feel an itch or a tingle or something just doesn’t feel quite right “down there”. The thought is...is that an outbreak? Or if we haven’t been diagnosed with herpes we’re thinking, “OMG is that Herpes.”
Questions I get all the time from members in our Secret Society are what are the symptoms of herpes or how do I know when it’s an outbreak or what are some symptoms I should be looking for. One question I recently got from one of our members was, “ Are outbreaks different for men and women and what are some of the symptoms for men?”
So let’s break it down about what symptoms you can expect to see or have when you’re coming down with an outbreak or during an outbreak.
Herpes symptoms for both men and women: * Blistery sores * Burning when you pee if you have sores * Trouble peeing if you have sores covering your urethra * Itching or pain around your genitals * Sometimes the blisters can blee * Swollen, tender glands in the pelvic area, throat, or under the arms * Fever * Chills * Fatigue * Headache * General run-down feelingsAchy, flu-like feelings
What does herpes look like? * The sores can be single or in clusters * Can look like papercuts * Filled with fluid * Are hard to pop
What men should look for: * Typically in men, the herpes infection is on the penis or around the anus
What women should look for: * Typically in women clusters of blistery sores show up on your vulva, cervix, or anus.
Keep in mind everyone is a little different. Someone might get headaches and flu-like symptoms while you might get really itchy and swollen. We’re all different and our bodies all react a little different. The key thing here is to know you’re body and know what your triggers are so that you can get on top of your outbreak as well as do the best that you can to prevent transmission to your partner.
Do you have symptoms that are different than what I listed? Let me know in the comments.
Details:
-
Join the Secret Society
-
HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Are you social?
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/3ZZSh9hx_HA Ok, so I love essential oils. When I was first introduced to them I was really skeptical about their holistic healing properties but I was always a huge fan of using them as aromatherapy. Essential oils have become a huge thing over the last couple of years so most likely you have some type of oil laying around your house. Well, as I’m sure you guessed it there are some oils that are really helpful and beneficial when it comes to a herpes outbreak. These oils can do things like calm your nerves, help with swelling, the itching and even have antiviral properties.
Lavender oil I think this is the best smelling oil. Lavender is really great used topically and it can help with the antiseptic properties as well as helping relieve herpes symptoms like the itch. It’s great to be used on open cuts so when you have an outbreak you can lavender directly to your sore. Also, in addition to healing open wounds lavender is also a natural painkiller, so if you're dealing with a ton of pain from your herpes outbreak this will help ease it. Another great benefit of lavender is it can help you sleep and a lot of times during really bad outbreaks it can be hard to sleep whether it be from the anxiety of your diagnosis or just because of discomfort. You can use it topically on the outbreak, put a few drops on a cotton ball and put it in your pillowcase or drop a few drops into an Epsom salt bath. All these methods will help you tremendously.
Oregano oil Oregano oil is pretty popular oils for herpes treatment. This is one that I’ll get questions about and see that a lot of people in our secret society use oregano oil. This oil has been used for many years due to its health benefits and it’s antibacterial properties. Oregano oil can quicken the healing process, as well as, reduce inflammation and swelling. There are tons of other great benefits but I’m sticking to what will help with herpes.
Peppermint oil IS one of my favorites. Personally, I love putting some drops into some hot water and drinking it, but the best way to use this for herpes is not to drink it but to use it topically. It’s often considered a "super oil" because it has health benefits that many herpes medications do not. There’s been some medical research showing how badass peppermint oil can be. Peppermint oil can help alleviate symptoms of different herpes strains that are immune to many other herpes medications. Meaning that using peppermint oil topically is pretty badass and it will fight the herpes virus. If you plan to use peppermint oil as a treatment, dilute the peppermint oil with a wet q-tip. For best results, apply it as soon as you know a breakout is getting ready to start.
Melaleuca oil Best Practices: Take a q-tip and wet it a bit. Apply a drop or two to the wet q-tip. Then apply the q-tip to the area you wish to treat. The reason why it’s recommended to wet the q-tip is that the essential oils can be so potent and can even burn your skin. The last thing you want is a herpes outbreak and a skin burn. That sounds like a really bad day!
Pro Tip: If you want to ingest them make sure you read the label first. Some of the essential oils are not for consumption, but some of them are and are really yummy. Also, the quality of essential oil will play a role in whether or not you want to add them to your food so do your research.
So as you can see there’s a ton of benefit to having these oils on hand and in your cupboard. I’ll always travel with at least one oil and I keep them on hand. If the oil flavor fits with what I’m cooking I’ll add a few drops in or I’ll put them in my diffuser and take them in that way. Regardless they are a pretty big part of my life.
You can order your essential oils here.
- Lavender Oil
- Oregano Oil
- Peppermint Oil
- Melaleuca Oil (tea tree oil)
Details:
- Join the Secret Society
- HerpAlert (use promo code: lifewithherpes and get 10% off)
Oh yea, remember to subscribe to the Life With Herpes newsletter and get The 5 things I wished she knew before I was diagnosed with herpes sent directly to your inbox + weekly updates.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Just in case…
Learn about the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit:
Need to talk confidentially about herpes?
Are you social?
https://youtu.be/RqdvGeMGLp8 Hi there! On today’s episode my husband, Bill, is joining us. Yay! There’s been a ton of Secret Society members who’ve been asking about Bill and wanting to know what his true thoughts were when it came to be with me, us having sex and the risks of transmitting herpes.
Originally when I was diagnosed I truly believed that nobody would love me because of this virus. Sound familiar? I stayed in a relationship far too long because I didn’t have the self-confidence.
Moving forward to this episode we get the real skinny on what Bill’s thoughts are about our love, our marriage and yep our sex life.
I wanted you to hear Bill tell his story about when I disclosed to Bill about my herpes diagnosis. This is great to tune in because we all have to tell our partners at some point.
Bill shares from his point of view about how emotional I was when I disclosed to him about having herpes. Now keep in mind that when I disclosed we were not dating or together. I just confided in him because he was my best friend and my confidant.
One key point that we both make is herpes is not an issue AT ALL in our life. And that’s one of the biggest concerns when first being diagnosed. We think that having herpes will get in the way of our sex life and it’s a huge concern that having a normal relationship has flown out the window. I can tell you this is 100% BS. You’ll hear Bill share his side.
Oh, and you heard me talk about herpalert on this episode. BTW...HerpAlert is the best way to have a confidential diagnosis as well as get your monthly antiviral refills. Use the promo code: lifewithherpes and receive 10% off.
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Life With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/w-NzfQJ0OeU Hi there. So we’ve talked a ton about how to tell your partner or when to tell your partner and what to say when you tell your partner. It’s all scary and trust me I totally get it. Society has made us look like we’re bad people for having herpes and we’ve also been taught to not talk about sex. So why would talking about herpes be normal or easy?
So here are some ways to NOT tell your partner you have herpes. A really bad time is…
When you’ve just had sex and even worse would be if you have an outbreak. This is a really bad time to mention it. I know it’s hard to tell someone that you have herpes and it’s easier to just not say anything. But now if this is your situation you’re in a pickle. Getting your partner on the antiviral asap is key to helping them heal. I was in the mortgage industry for a number of years and people would always try to fudge their income or assets in order to purchase a home. The thing is that the truth always would come out. I mean always. So If you’re going to wait until after you have sex to let them know to remember that the truth will always come out and it’s a lot easier, to tell the truth in the beginning then ask for forgiveness.
When you’re hot and heave and the clothes are on the floor. Yep, this is another pretty bad time. Talk about blue balls! Right before you have sex is such an exciting time. There are so many emotions flying around and probably some other things flying around for that matter. You want this to be fun, sexy and not filled with the...oh wait well I have to tell you something real quick. You only get one chance to have your first time so make sure that you prep and
Over the phone or via text Ok, so there are sometimes when over the phone is ok. I’ll get into that but in general, this should be a conversation you have in person. I get that we use text as our main form of communication and I’m totally guilty of it. But when we’re talking about sex and something super important like your sexual health this needs to be had in person. Back to my mortgage days, sorry to bore you but I learned a ton from that era, anyway, when you have bad news it needs to be communicated in person or in the mortgage situation over the phone. So if someone could purchase the home of their dreams a text or email was a pretty lame and ass hole way to tell them. We had to either tell them in person or the next best was over the phone. When we read the text in emails or our text messages the tone and information can totally be taken out of context. I can understand if you’re dating long distance and if one of you are flying out to see the other and you want to let them know ahead of time. But, perhaps in that situation, you can facetime or skype or do some type of video chat so you both can react and see one another's expressions. This is so key in relationships.
After you’ve been dating, you’re engaged or even married. This happens more than not. Some of you reading this are like, what married or engaged? Yep, it happens and as I’m speaking about this if this is your situation please know I’m not judging you. I get it. It’s a really hard and uncomfortable situation be in and tell your partner you have herpes and then you get further into your relationship and then all of a sudden your married and now you can’t possibly have the conversation because then your spouse will think that you’ve been lying about more things. So I get it and I’m not trying to make you feel bad about this. What I’m trying to do and I’m sure you’d agree and if you could go back and change it you would. SO what I’m trying to do is prevent others from being in this situation. Remember when I said the truth always comes out? It somehow will a carrying all that guilt is not good for you either. Do your best to tell your partner that you have herpes. It’s just a silly skin disease and that they can catch it. That’s all it is and that’s all the attention that needs to be given to it.
On a double date or in a group setting Ok, this is between you and your partner. Not your friends or family or whoever you want to pull into this. Dropping that you have herpes on a double date would be a bad idea. This is something you both need to talk about. There will be questions and it’s a beautiful opportunity for your relationship to grow deeper. Thinking that having this in a group setting will soften the blow or divert the attention is not a good situation.
Ok, the other bad way to tell your partner is when you’re wasted! Again, this sounds like a great way to tell them. I hear time and time again, “oh I’ll have a couple of drinks before.” A glass of wine or a beer is a different situation than a bottle of wine and a 6 pack of beer. At that point, no important or serious convo should be happening. You should do you’re best to avoid having this conversation while inebriated.
Ok, so as you can see there are plenty of situations where it’s not the best place or situation. Also, hear me out, if you’re in one of these situations please understand that I’m not judging you or trying to make you feel bad. I think that you can agree that these situations are not the idea. And if you’re in this situation please reach out and let’s talk.
At the end of the day, communication is key. It’s hard to do because we want to protect ourselves and don't want the rejection. But you’re totally worth it and if that other person is worth it then you guys will be happy you communicated on having herpes.
Let me know your thoughts!
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Life With Herpes Community
If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
https://youtu.be/sR4YnaVuIFw
Ok let’s get right to it. When we get outbreaks we want them gone ASAP!
Why? Because they hurt...duh and they bring up all of the bad stuff that we’ve either not processed or that we’ve forgotten about. Outbreaks are time that we go back and remember that ex or get mad at ourselves for that one night stand and they create anxiety and even depression.
So the faster we can get the outbreak heald then we can get back to our normal beautiful life and not thinking about our ex.
Back to how long herpes outbreaks last. To answer vaguely…it depends. Now hold on a sec while I explain.
It’s going to vary based on how long you’ve had herpes, your lifestyle and if you were able to treat the virus at the first onset of the outbreak.
Let me break it down. If it’s your first outbreak, firstly I’m sorry. Secondly, you need to know that this will be the worst outbreak. Your body is in utter disarray and is under attack by the HSV virus. This outbreak will last about 2 weeks and could lagger on for a few more days. Usually when it’s your first time you don’t get your antiviral in your system until a couple of days into the outbreak so then it takes longer to heal. Also, because you probably didn’t know it was herpes you didn't apply anything to the area to help it heal up. Thinks like d’leonte or coconut oil etc. Expect this outbreak to be your longest and your most uncomfortable.
Back to that lifestyle thing… there’s a couple of lifestyle choices that play a huge role.
Lifestyle plays a role on way more than we want it to. So of course lifestyle is going to play a role on our herpes outbreaks and the length of your outbreaks. What we tend to forget about is when we have outbreaks we’re actually sick. Now unlike getting the flu or a cold they pretty much force you to stay home and stay in bed getting a herpes outbreak doesn’t give us a stuffy nose or really change our day. However what we forget about is our body and the immune system is on overdrive to keep you from getting something else. In other words when we have an outbreak and we go out to the bars with a 2:00 am burrito or hit up a spin class or stay up late to get our work done we are doing a huge disservice to ourselves. When we do these things our outbreak will hang around longer. I mean… why wouldn't it, you just gave it an excuse to have a party in your body. If you take care of your body and yourself then your outbreak will probably last from 4 - 7 days.
Then the final ingredients that will determine how long your outbreak hangs around for will be when you took your pill. If you get the antiviral in your system within the first couple of hours vs. days then your recovery will be greatly improved. The antiviral starts working right away to make the virus dormant in your system. So if you get the antiviral in within hours then a lot of times you can prevent the outbreak from even happening. Otherwise, you can have an outbreak for a couple of days like 2-4.
So the key things to remember when you're having an outbreak are to rest, fuel your body with good foods and take your initial.
If you’re looking for more information on what to eat when you’re having an outbreak to speed up your recovery. Go here. And here’s some of the symptoms you might be feeling with your first outbreak.
xoxo,
Alexandra
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
https://youtu.be/Ue5VRUAHOgU One of the biggest reasons why herpes is so dreaded is because it stays with you forever. It’s one of the few things you're guaranteed to take with you when you die. The reason is because it’s a virus.
Now compared to getting chlamydia or ghonorrea or even strep throat these are all bacterial infections, not viruses. So when a person is diagnosed with say chlamydia a doctor will prescribe an antibiotic that will kill the chlamydia living in your body. You or the host is now chlamydia free and the only way to have the infection pop up again would be to become infected with it all over again.
This is very different from viruses. Once a virus is in your body then it’s there forever. So that’s why we can’t get certain diseases twice. Such as the chicken pox virus, so if you’ve had chickenpox before and then become exposed to someone with the chicken pox our immune system already know’s we have it.
Bacteria and viruses survive differently. The biggest difference is a virus needs a host to survive while bacteria can live on it’s own. Back to what I was saying that when you die your herpes virus will die with you. The virus can only reproduce by finding a host so that’s why herpes is so contagious. The only way this sucker is going to survive is by infecting other people. Unlike bacteria when a virus enters into our body the virus reprograms the cells to infect them thus taking over our body. They’re some sneaky little suckers. It’s almost like an invasion of your enemy who comes a takes over your entire country and changes the language overnight.
It’s really pretty interesting what all the living organisms have done to survive over the years. Herpes has been with us since we started walking on this planet and it’s not going to go away in our lifetime.
I know that the stigma can really get us down but remember at the end of the day it’s just a skin disease. It’s a living thing that wants to survive too and it’s picked your body to do so.
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/MsOHGQfjvi8
Hi guys! I’m as always excited to be here with you. Today I’ve discovered a great solution for us!!! Get ready to get excited!
The moment we think we have herpes we begin to panic. Rember what that’s like? I sure do. We either feel something down there, or feel like the flu is coming on, or worse we see something. The next thing that happens is the “oh $h*t” moment!
We usually know it’s herpes but we’re in total denial. The number one thing we want to do is keep this a secret. We don’t want to go through the embarrassment of people finding out. The fear of embarrassment can even keep us from calling our doctor or the local health clinic to get a proper diagnosis. This fear is so serious that it will stop us in our tracks. This is a huge problem because we need a diagnosis in order to get antiviral!
Or another scenario that happens is when you know somethings not right down there and you need to get in ASAP! I mean you’re in pain and you want answers and a prescription ASAP! Have you ever called your doctors’ office and had the response of, “oh we can fit you in a week from Wednesday.” WTF!!!??? That’s not going to work either.
So here’s the deal. Herpalert is an online resource for us to quickly and confidentially connect with a doctor! This is HUGE! And this is super easy because we can do it right from our phone or computer.
Here’s how Herpalert works. So when you have the oh $ht moment and think you have herpes the fastest way to get a diagnosis and your prescription filled is to head over to herpalert.com. Oh, and our community get’s a sweet discount on the service so use the promo code: lifewithherpes.* In the video, I walk you through step by step on filling out the online application. Seriously, it takes like 2 minutes. Way easier than heading down to your general practitioner.
If you’re diagnosed with herpes it's very important that you get on the antiviral ASAP. The sooner you get the medicine in your body the sooner you’ll start feeling better. I can very vividly remember how bad I felt when I was diagnosed and as soon as I got the antiviral in my system I could start feeling the infection healing. Herpalert allows you to upload your photo of your outbreak and if you’re diagnosed with herpes then fill your prescription and it’ll be at your pharmacy within an hour. Pretty cool, right?
Just to give you another rundown about how streamlined Herpalert is here's how it works. You head to the website, fill out your signs and symptoms, pick your pharmacy, upload your photo, pay at the checkout and then you receive secure information regarding your diagnosis from one of the Herpalert doctors. And boom...your prescription is at your pharmacy of choice and ready for you. This cuts out the embarrassment of sitting at the doctors' office or waiting for your appointment a week from Wednesday.
On a personal note, the reason why I love Herpalert as a resource for our Life With Herpes community is they are aligned with our mission. In fact, it's the same focus, Herpalert wants to break the herpes stigma too. They are dedicated to removing the stigma and lessening outbreaks so that you and I can get back to our normal lives. They believe and so do I that there’s no reason to suffer or be in pain. The antiviral can lessen the outbreak from three weeks to just a matter of days. I mean, why would you want to sit in pain for three weeks?
Ok so watch the video to learn more about Herpalert. If you’re ready to make your appointment go here and make sure you use the promo code: lifewithherpes to receive a discount on your appointment.
Big Hugs,
Alexandra
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/bBo4P5Yywj4
We have no problem talking about what’s going on in our lives or what we want for dinner but when it comes to talking about sex we all act like little kids that got caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Basically, we freeze and run away.
Sound familiar?
Be honest… have you always had “the talk” before getting naked with someone?
Right. That’s what I thought. And why?
Because we don’t know how to have the talk. The sex talk is something that old people do or something that kills the vibe or something that isn’t necessary because you’d never sleep with someone who has anything.
That’s all bull sh*t and you know it. It truly boils down to we’re not educated on how to have this conversation. Also, we think that if we have the convo then the person won’t like us or they will think we’re too much work to get into bed.
This is your health and you’re life we’re talking about! You have one body and it’s only your body. Love it! Respect it! And talk about it!
We can’t go back on the past. Or look at past relationship and say I shoulda coulda or woulda, but what we can do is get good at this uncomfortable conversation for our future lovers and romp sessions.
Never ever be afraid to ask someone about their sexual health. Jumping into bed with someone whether you’ve known them for years or you just met tonight at the bar it’s your responsibility to talk about safe sex. It’d be like jumping into a car with a drunk driver or diving into the pool with no water on it. I know this sounds extream but it is!
Here’s what you need to ask...
Ask about their sexual health. Lead with questions like; Hey have you been tested for STD’s? This is a good icebreaker to get the convo started.
There will be 3 responses either; they will say oh yea and I was good, or the yes and I’ve had an STD. Or there’s the occasional nah… I’d never sleep with anyone who has anything. BTW… that last one is a huge red flag!!!
Let them know you want to get tested before you both sleep together. Again, this part sounds so over dramatic but back to what I mentioned before...this is your body and your health. I know I already have herpes...I know I don’t want anything else. Herpes was my wake up call so let it be yours too. This way you both know going into it.
Are you in a monogamous relationship? This can be a super uncomfortable question to ask especially if you want it to be monogamous and you know your partner is out with other people. You can decide how to proceed based on the answer you get or what you both want. My recommendation is if you’re not in a monogamous sexual relationship would be to use condoms, female condoms, and dental dams. Also get STD tested as often as possible, perhaps monthly. Sleeping with multiple people doesn’t mean you’re going to get an STD but it’s a numbers game so it does increase your chances to do what you can to protect yourself and your partner.
Links:
In case you needed a link to Planned Parenthood here it is.
Also...come join out Secret Society
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/tqvPMnvN3Xs
Ok, so I get asked time and time again about my relationship with my husband, Bill. People ask me if we practice safe sex, if we even have sex, people ask if he has herpes and also people ask what's going through Bill's mind about me having herpes. Well in this episode we share the nitty-gritty and Bill opens up about what's on his mind when we have sex. It's a pretty fun and personal video.
xoxox,
Alexandra
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/wTmCWWzMLyE
Let’s talk about sex! The hookup culture has become a pretty controversial cultural topic amongst college kids, psychologist, and the baby boomers worrying about their kids in this sexual revolution. Some main points that are brought up are, safe sex, self-worth, mental health, is the love dead and basically a lack of understanding of what hooking up really is. It gets brought to my attention almost on a daily basis by members of our Life With Herpes community so I thought it would be important for us to discuss this.
The number one question I’m asked is, “how will I ever have sex again in this hookup culture now that I have herpes”. I’m also asked things like, “will I ever hook up again because I have herpes”. Members have expressed that they are jealous of their friends who don’t have herpes and they can just hook up with whoever they like. The herpes stigma mixed with the hookup culture is really cooking up some serious emotions.
In the last decade, the media has played a roll in promoting the hookup culture. There were reality TV shows that popularized one night stands as well as movies titles “The Hook Up” or “No Strings Attached”. Basically, the media portrayed this unbelievable sex life with no strings, commitment or romance. Thus a decade later we are in the multiple partners, noncommitment sex and the scariest thing of all...we’re still not having safe sex.
Stay with me for a second while I compare hookups and extream mounting climbing. Basically, you need to be prepared, both mentally and physically. Let’s say you make the decision to hike Mount Kilimanjaro, its 19,000-foot mountain and this is not your stroll down the local community hiking trail. This requires training, it requires survival knowledge, it requires understanding the elements, it requires proper gear and the list can go on and on. But most importantly it requires the hikers to be mentally prepared for what can go wrong. These people are ready for the Mount Kilimanjaro hike. Can you imagine if the hikers woke up one day and decide to go hike it unprepared, unclothed, not nourished, without communication and most importantly without a plan? I can fast forward this for you...it’s not going to go well.
The way the hookup culture is now is like deciding to go for a little neighborhood stroll when it should be like preparing for hiking Mount Kilimanjaro. We are not properly educated in sex, we don’t communicate anything to our partner about needs, safety or even a phone number for that matter. As a whole, we forget that sex is the most powerful thing two people can do. I mean that. It’s the most powerful thing two people can do because it creates life. Having unsafe sex can lead to unwanted pregnancy, STI’s, obviously herpes, and not to mention the emotional drama that goes with it.
I’m not saying hookups are bad. What I’m saying is you need to make sure you’re 100% in and ready for all outcomes and that includes herpes, other STI’s and pregnancy. Oh and not to mention a potential stage 5 clinger...lol
Now I can’t help you with the mental portion of hooking up and avoiding regret but what I can help you with is the safe sex. Here’s what you need to do.
- Before having sex talk about your sexual health. I know this sounds hard to do at a bar with the DJ blasting your favorite song but it needs to happen. It’s your due diligence to disclose that you have herpes. Yes, it’s possible that he or she may no longer want to jump in bed with you but hey let’s face it…its a stranger and you’ll never see them again.
- Use protection. Use it the entire time, every time and correctly. I hear of so many people saying oh we didn't have a condom or we ran out or it fell off so we just said “f” it. If it falls off go get another one. If you don’t have a condom then don't do it. **carry own condoms
- Get tested and get tested often. This is really key and typically we go with the idea of no news is good news or if I don’t know then I can’t worry. It’s your health and your life that we’re talking about. If you had chest pains you’d go get a chest x-ray because you wouldn’t want to have a heart attack. Why is it that if there’s a blister or it hurts to go pee that we just ignore it. If you have multiple partners or your partner has multiple partners then get tested often. As awkward as it is just do it. ****get tested for other STI’s
I’m extremely adamant about safe sex because we are talking about your life, your health, and your future. Herpes is just a skin disease. That’s it. There are so many other STI’s you can catch that can really change your life.
I’m not saying not to hookup. Trust me I get it. What I want you to be is 100% ready and sure you’re in charge of this and you’ve got it covered.
Join the LWH community - https://lifewithherpes.com/free-membership-registration/
Safe Sex Package - http://bit.ly/LWHessentials
Get tested… go here for planned parenthood locations
Xoxo,
Alexandra Harbushka
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes This episode is all about our story from dating, to falling in love and getting married. And of course, there's that little thing called herpes. We wanted to share our journey so that you can use it as a reference for your relationship. Bill talks about what it's like to be married to someone with herpes and what our journey is like.
We share all our secrets and talk everything from sex to life and friendship.
This is pretty personal so I hope you enjoy. Remember, herpes can only control your life if you let it win.
xoxo,
Alexandra
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
https://youtu.be/pY1FZp87Wss
Today we’re going to talk about something fun. We’re going to talk about Lube!!!! When we hear about out herpes diagnosis we immediately go into the mindset that we’ll never have a sex life again or that sex can’t be a positive thing in our life.
Herpes will only have an impact on your life and sex life if you let it. So let’s not let it!
Sound good?
Lube’s an important part about sex and we spend so much time talking about ways to prevent passing herpes to your partner I decided we need to put that aside and have some fun. Not that safe sex isn’t important because there really is nothing sexier than safe sex.
Let’s break it down…
There ’s four types of lube; water-based lube, oil-based lube, silicone based lube and there are lubes that contain spermicide or nonoxynol 9. At the end of the day they pretty much all lead to the same result...more lube during a romp session but they can have an impact on your body and potentially your herpes outbreak.
Let’s talk about water based lubes and silicone based lube. You will only want to use either water-based lube or silicone lubes if you are using a condom. Which, I highly recommend using condoms for preventing the transmission of herpes, any other potential STI’s and of course pregnancy. It’s super important you don't mix an oil-based lube with condoms. The oil actually can eat away at the latex causing the condom to break or put some little holes in it. Clearly...not the outcome we want. Picking a water-based or a silicon-based will be personal preference and of course it’s important to see which ones have less chemicals.
Then next I want to cover is spermicide lube is a form of birth control because it slows the sperm down. It’s almost like they were tasered and now it’s hard for them to swim to the egg. The reasons why I don’t recommend this for people with herpes is because the ingredient in the spermicide that makes it a spermicide is nonoxynol 9 and that can cause some irritant to our genital tissues, especially if you're having sex daily or multiple times a day. It can potentially inflame the area and case some little tares that can put both people at more risk or transmitting herpes and potentially other STI’s. And as we all know, we don’t want to irritate our genital area because irritation can cause an outbreak. None of these combinations sound ideal for our lifestyle.
Oil based lube is thought to be the most natural and it usually is the best for you and your partner. Remeber...please don’t use oil based if you are using condoms. Oil based lube feels the most natural and usually last longer. And the other good news about oil based lube is its usually chemical free and better for your skin.
Here is a list of my favorite lubes to use…
Sustain This is a water-based organic lube so this is great for you and your partner if you’re using condoms. It’s made with organic aloe vera which is great to nourish your skin while having fun in the sack. Also, it’s the right PH balance for a woman so it will lessen the chance of a yeast infection or the dreaded bacterial vaginosis a.k.a. the tuna fish smelling vagina.
Woo More Play This is an oil-based lube so not to be used with condoms. This is great for masturbation or to be used without condoms. Woo More Play is great for herpes and here’s how it helps. Its key ingredients are coconut oil, vanilla, beeswax, and stevia. All are organic, natural and they have awesome benefits that fight inflammation, free radicals, kills germs, boosts your immune system and other great stuff. Yes, I’ve even been known to put lube on my outbreak. Try it! And let’s be serious it's always great to have some lube on hand. Just put a little dibby dab on a q-tip and rub it on your sore. It helps...promise.
Ok so go out have fun. Yes, you can still have a sex life with genital herpes. Remember, talk to your partner about safe sex and having herpes and then decide what lube works best for your lifestyle.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are to
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/MBjBkp-Vdlk
Herpes jokes, are they funny? Well yes, they can be funny but they’ve gone too far. It also is a time for us to reflect and think that there’re times when we say a funny joke or comment it can be offending someone even though it was never our intention.
We can use this as a time to reflect.
But back to the degrading herpes jokes throughout the media or from our social groups. They can make us, people living with herpes, feel uncomfortable and even worse, like scum. We’ve all laughed at them before we had herpes. Right? I mean, #guilty. But now that we are the brunt of the joke it’s not funny and even infuriating.
Here are some ways you can put the flame out without advertising that you have herpes.
- Consider who you are talking to and what the consequences are. So, in other words, is this a boss, is this a group of peers, are they complete strangers. The differed settings will have different consequences and of course, will require you to change your tone or ammo.
- Don't assume - the person may not have meant it in an offensive way. Or they may not have even put any thought about it. We’ve all said that “oops did I just say that” comment and it truly came out wrong. This could have been the situation. As the old saying goes, ASSUME makes an Ass Out of You and Me! Ask questions to go deeper.
- Don't fire back with fire - comments like you’re an asshole or that was a dush thing to say is not the right way to approach it. In other words be careful about calling people out until you know the story. If you lead with fire you’re going to get fire, it’s a simple law of physics. Every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction.
- Explain how you feel about the comment. If you don’t speak up then you’re saying without saying it’s ok for you to make fun or say degrading comments. Use the words “I feel” because nobody can criticize your feelings. People can criticize you with “I didn’t like it” or “ you’re wrong for saying that” or “what a jerk” that’s tee-ball for someone to just lay into you. If you talk about your feeling nobody can argue with how you fee.
- Ask questions about it - Ask the person why they thought it was funny or why they thought it was a good idea to say those things. This way it’s a way to remove the “assume” and start understanding where they are coming from. You never know when you’re going to get with asking questions. Oh and. “I don’t know” isn’t an answer so keep digging for an answer.
- Educate them - So in this particular situation with herpes, it would be great to let them know that 2 out of 3 people have HSV 1 and 1 out of six have HSV 2 so looking at it statistically you probably offended the majority of the room with your joke. You can use facts to educate and break the stigma. Letting them know that herpes is a stigma and all it is a little skin disease.
By integrating these steps into your life for conflict resolution you’ll begin to see uncomfortable situations as an opportunity for you to stand up for yourself and grow. These are great tips for really any uncomfortable situation, joke or disagreement. You can be a fighter without offending other or telling the world that you have herpes.
I can’t wait to hear how it goes for you. Let me know.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
https://youtu.be/cvLkYAOsN78
Yes, I absolutely love where food and nutrition is moving. It’s moving from something to hold you over or a quick grab and go while on the run to choosing foods that will improve your health. I love seeing other bloggers, influencers and healthy minded people make nutrition and health a movement. Over the years we’ve forgotten that food is to nourish our body and give us the fuel to do the things we love and instead it’s become something that we are addicted to and it caused some serious illnesses.
So let’s get into why there are some foods that will really help your body fight the herpes virus. Remember way back when I talked about Lysine and Arginine? Well if you don’t then go here to find that episode. I’ll give a quick breakdown so that we can all be on the same page today. Arginine and Lysine are both essential amino acids, in other words, they help us build our muscles and they are an important part of our diet and overall health. Like I said earlier I go into way more detail in other blogs. For whatever reason, arginine is like miracle grow to the herpes virus. The more arginine we have in our bodies the more likely we are to have a herpes outbreak. On the flip side, lysine is like a fire extinguisher to the herpes virus. Lysine suffocates the herpes virus and prevents it from having outbreaks and it prevents the virus from multiplying. It’s rather fascinating, isn’t it?
Now I know what your next thought is. I’ll just put lysine in my body and will avoid arginine at all costs. Well, it’s not that simple. Remember I mentioned that arginine is an essential part of our overall health and the building blocks to our muscles? Yep. Well, you need arginine and even if you wanted to nix it from your diet you wouldn't be able to.
Hear me out. When you have herpes outbreaks you will want to increase your diet with lysine-rich foods and keep the arginine foods at bay.
Here’s a list of foods to emphasize when you have an outbreak…(you can download this too. ) Download the Life With Herpes Meal Plan Here
- Dairy Products (Cheese, Yogurt, Kefir, Cottage Cheese, Sour
- Cream., Milk).
- All Fish & Seafood (especially Tuna, Halibut, Salmon, Sardines)
- Eggs
- Organ Meats
- Lean meats
- Poultry
- Potatoes
- Brewers Yeast
- Carrot Juice
- Avocado
- Sausage
- Fruit & Berries
- Vegetables without seeds
When we cut out as much of the arginine as we can while having a herpes outbreak it really will help our bodies heal from the inside out. I’m assuming if you are having an outbreak you are probably taking an antiviral and or using some home remedies. I can promise that by cleaning up your diet while having an outbreak will help you heal faster too. It’s like suffocating the virus from both directions.
I have the downloads for you if you want recipes and the list of the foods to emphasize while having an outbreak. Go here to access them.
If you’re not a member of the Life With Herpes community I want to invite you to join. There are cool downloads like the one I’m talking about now...lol and of course an online community with hundreds of people just like you and me who have herpes. Go there to join
Let me know what questions you have.
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
https://youtu.be/tmF3tVq6eMs
Hey there! Ok, I want to jump right in and talk about over the counter stuff that I personally use as well as some other stuff that members in our community use. Let’s get real. Outbreaks Suck! But also let’s be honest, there are other things in the world that are way worse so I’m not saying this in a way to sound like a victim. Ya know?
But...when we have outbreaks we want to clear them up ASAP and get back to our life. We don’t want them to get in the way of our yoga practice, our spin class, sex, workouts, vacation or whatever we have planned that week.
To keep it simple I’ve arranged the supplies in order of pain relief, ways to suppress it and then ways to soothe your body. I was trying to go with the EAT, Pray, Love thing or Mind, Body and Sole. All I could come up with was Pain, Suppress, and Sooth. Let me know if you come up with something better...lol.
Pain When outbreaks occur there can be pain and the pain doesn’t just stay by the outbreak. People experience headaches, body aches, flu or cold-like symptoms, even a sore throat. I know my lymph nodes get inflamed and that is usually a tip-off for me to take a raincheck on my plans and lay low. And of course, there’s the pain of the blister or blisters. If it’s your first outbreak then chances are you’re really in pain and it might even be hard to sit down. Or the outbreak could be in a spot where it hits your underwear or just gets in the way of everyday life. Here are a couple of things I recommend:
- Take your favorite pain reliever. Whatever it is; Advil, Aleve, Tylenol, Aspirin, IBuprofen, or whatever you like to take. This can relieve some of your aches and pains and help you get through the day. Follow the recommendations on the side of the bottle.
- Apply either hotness or chilliness. Everyone's a little different and relief will work differently. Personally, I don’t do this when I have outbreaks but I wish I would have when I had my first outbreak. That outbreak was a bitch! Anyway, either take an ice or a warm cloth and apply it to the sore. The ice will numb the area temporally meanwhile the warm cloth will do the opposite. You can use ice and put it together in a ziplock or some of the members in our community recommend sitting on an ice pack. Do whatever floats your boat. It will sooth and bring comfort to the inflamed area. Both are great and offer relief from some of the pain.
Suppress Clearly, we all want to get rid of this outbreak ASAP. What we want to do in essence is suffocate the virus. We want to make it’s living situation as hostile as possible. I mean, why would we want to give it any reason to stick around? Here are two products that I use religiously when I have outbreaks.
- L-Lysine - As you probably know from past shows and reading the posts that lysine is a key contributor to getting rid of your outbreaks. I’ve gone into great detail in other episodes, they are linked here, but essentially what lysine does is suffocate the herpes virus. It makes it really difficult for the virus to breed and continue to cause you pain. Taking L-Lysine when you have outbreaks will help you heal quicker. I take 3000 mg a day when I have outbreaks, ideally, you take 2 in the morning, 2 at lunch, and 2 in the evening but I take mine all at once usually during lunch.
- D-lenolate - this is the olive leaf extract ointment that I like to apply directly to my sore. It’s super potent and really works miracles. They are a local company in Las Vegas and I’ve been to their office and met some of the people who work there. They all were saying rave reviews about how it helps people with herpes. The secret is in the special sauce...lol the olive leaf is filled with properties that will boost your immune system and combat all the bad pathogens, viruses and bacterias. This stuff really helps and it is soothing at the same time. I apply this as often as I can so that it speeds up the healing process.
Sooth Because these little suckers don’t just go away overnight and they take some time to heal there are some remedies that can really help soothe the pain. These remedies will also help with the healing process as well but most of all they will help you get through it.
- Epsom Salt baths are my favorite. Firstly, baths require you to slow down and relax then when you add the Epsom salts it really helps alleviate the pain or itching from the sores. Epsom salts offer a ton of healing benefits such as helping the body absorb minerals like magnesium, it helps the body sleep and reduces stress, helps with pain and swelling and the baths can help calm the nervous system. These baths really do a total makeover on the body and they really help with the sores. I hear from so many of the members in the community that say taking an salt bath really helps with the itch and also soothes the sore. Oh and make sure you drink plenty of water, with you take the bath because the salts can dehydrate you. I don’t want you getting out of the bath and fainting!
- Essential Oils are the new thing and I love them. I know I’ve talked about them before and they each offer something a little different but in general essential oils promote stress relief, they are antiviral, antifungal, antibacterial and they rev up the immune system. These are all things that we need. My favorites are melaleuca or tea tree oil, peppermint and lavender. They all have yummy smells and they all help combat the herpes virus. Pick the one that makes you feel comforted. For an added bonus add the oils to your Epsom salt bath. It really turns your bath into a spa-like experience and at the same time fight the herpes hibijibis.
- Woo More Play, yep the lube that I love. Here’s how it helps. Its key ingredients are coconut oil, vanilla, beeswax, and stevia. All are organic, natural and they have awesome benefits that fight inflammation, free radicals, kills germs, boosts your immune system and other great stuff. Yes, I’ve been known to put lube on my outbreak. Try it! And let’s be serious it's always great to have some lube on hand. Just put a little dibby dab on a q-tip and rub it on your sore. It helps...promise. Just a little disclosure that if you are using latex then oil based lube, aka, Woo is not the way to go. You will want a water-based lube so the latex doesn’t deteriorate.
Ok, so there’s a ton of information here. The key is to find remedies that work for you. Everybody's body is different and there will be different ways to treat your outbreak. These are just a few of my favorites so I wanted to make sure I shared them. Here’s what I want you to do…
To order any of these items go here and here for the lube.
Then if you're not a member of the Life With Herpes community I want to invite you to join. There’s hundreds of people over there just like you and me who have herpes. I’m in there daily and we do live support sessions. Meaning we can chat and you can ask questions. Ok so come on over to here to join us.
Xoxox,
Alexandra
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
https://youtu.be/XrdlJLbR9IY
Life With Herpes Do you get outbreaks when you travel? For me, it’s a pretty much guaranteed. I love to travel and it’s one of my passions but what I don’t like is waking up the next morning in a new city that I can’t wait to explore and feel a herpes blister. It means that I have to pace myself, it means no sex with my husband, it means I’m feeling uncomfortable, it means I can’t try clothes on and go shopping, it means a whole lot of things that I don’t want to deal with when I on vacay. Do you have this too?
Is vacation a herpes outbreak trigger for you too?
So sorry if its. We’re going to fix it right now.
First, let's talk about why outbreaks happen when we’re on vacay. So typically when we are on vacation we tend to do a lot of stuff that is different. As much as we might enjoy this and get a thrill out of it our bodies are like...WTF?
Let’s go over what our body goes through on vacation. Well, for starters we stress out the day before and most likely the night before. Have you been guilty of pulling an all-nighter to pack and get everything in order before calling your uber to the airport…#guilty! Ok, then you are already starting your trip off with stress on the body from pulling an all-nighter looking for that one thing you need for your trip or adding a signature to your email or getting your cat food organized for the cat sitter. Whatever it is your body is stress.
Something we don’t realize is that travel is really hard on our bodies especially if we are flying. We are lugging are overpacked suitcase through the airport the only thing to eat is over processed food. Think about it...your body is stressed.
Then when arriving at our vacation destination we are exhausted and on cloud 9! Our body pushes for our second or fourth wind as we are full of excitement and are ready to dive in and enjoy. It doesn’t matter if you are going on a relaxing vacation and sitting on the beach or if you are heading to a big city to explore. Your body is on overdrive!
Let’s not forget to mention all the goodies we indulge in. I don’t know about you but I always have a few extra glasses of wine as well as I’ll order dessert and I’ll probably have something yummy that I don't typically eat. This little change in diet can really through your immune system and your body into shock. Just think if your drinking more then your not sleeping as well. If your having more dessert then that means more sugar which means a lower immune system, if you're having some yummy foods then chances are they are a little more work for your digestive system to process. All of these little things add up and cause stress on our body.
Why does stress on our body cause...HERPES OUTBREAKS?! Now, I want to do all these things when I’m on vacation and I most certainly want you to do all of these things when you are on vacation. You deserve it. What we don’t want to come with us is an outbreak.
So here’s what I do leading up to a trip to keep my body relaxed and as stress-free as possible.
Lysine Up my dosage of Lysine about two days before vacation from 1000 mg to 3000 mg. This way there is extra lysine in my body and it will help keep the herpes virus under control. To learn more about lysine you can click here.
Sleep Get caught up on sleep. Did you know you can actually get caught up on sleep before you are going to be low on sleep? Yep. If you know you are going to be low on sleep you can rest up a couple of nights before and it will actually help you when you are low on sleep. So I will make sure I get caught up, I’ll even take little 45 minute catnaps if my body is craving it.
Antiviral Take an antiviral. This is something I personally do and it works for me. You may or may not need to do this, it all depends on your body. But I will take 1 the day before departing, 1 the day of travel and depending on the type of travel like if it’s to Europe then I take 1 then first day of vacation. Like I mentioned earlier, I know my body will get an outbreak on vacation if I don’t take care and prep. This antiviral system works for me. You may not need to take it at all or you might need to take it daily while you are on vacation.
No Procrastination No all-nighters of packing. Get packed and done by a reasonable hour. Just do it. I mean really think about it, being the last minute anything never really goes as planned. Make your packing list, lay out your clothes and get packed way before the moon comes out. I’ve gotten to the point where I actually take a half day the day before a trip. There is always something last minute and there is no reason to go into your trip tired, stressed and sick with an outbreak.
Here’s the thing. We want to do all of the fun things on our trip. I want you to have an extra drink by the pool, or a gelato when in Rome or stay up all night dancing when you're in Vegas! I mean…#YOLO. So remember to get plenty of sleep, do your best to eat a balanced diet and if your body is feeling run down then up your lysine and take your daily antiviral. I’ve spent way too many trips having outbreaks and it’s just not worth it.
What are your tips for travel? Do you have anything you recommend? DM me and let me know!
Xoxo,
Alexandra
Here’s How I Can Support Join our Life With Herpes Secret Society - https://lifewithherpes.com/subscription-membership-sp/
Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit
Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com
www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka
www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast
www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. See you in there.
Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea.
Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here
Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/ZT3v2mTWuqo Welcome, today our guest, Beverly Zeimet, will explain why she believes we can heal herpes through the power of thoughts and emotions! Beverly has been in the alternative field for over 35 years, and she specializes in emotional release and helping people find their true identity and purpose. She works with her clients to look at their own lives and look at what roles they take on and how those roles can impact their lives. We met at a networking event in Las Vegas. When I told her what I did we had a fascinating discussion about the emotional side of herpes, the why, where, how and how to heal. Everything she told me is so different from what we are taught in Western culture: we're told to take a pill and it will fix everything. Beverly explains we often get identified by what people relate us to rather than who we are, and diseases like herpes can become who we think we are. When you look at how you lost your identity and the emotional impact of that is and you start feeling those emotions your life starts to change. It can be devastating when you get your initial diagnosis and you may even think your life is over, but it's not. Dealing with the emotions that you experience can help you change your perspective. You can still have productive relationships and life a full life, it's not a scarlet letter you have to wear. It's a dysfunction in your body and when you start to understand the underlying current and vibration that it brings you can start to experience the emotions, without letting them run your life. A lot of the emotions that occur with herpes are fear, anger, grief, guilt, depression, and shame. But when we can understand what causes those emotions we can shift things. Herpes is usually a sexual disease, as a result it impacts your sexual identity and your sensual identity. The difference between the two (sexual and sensual) is that sensuality is the power of who you are: how you express yourself, how you stand, how you walk and how you talk. It's how you trust and perceive your overall gender look. Sometimes if your sensual identity gets out of whack it becomes attached to your ego. And when it reaches that point it's usually just superficial, underlying all of that could be sexual abuse, or not feeling confident in who you are, or not feeling proud of who you are internally. Because of those feelings you have to make yourself appear to look good to everyone else, so you can hide what you feel inside because you don’t look good to yourself. When you are hiding your feelings of depression, shame and guilt - even suicidal tendencies. On today’s Life With Herpes, Beverly candidly explains she fought depression most of her life, she was always looking for acceptance. This started in childhood when she wanted to be accepted by her dad, she grew up as a tomboy until her brothers came along. She was a strong extrovert until she went to school and got picked on because she was so small. Then she became an introvert, but she was filled with anger and wanting to fight. So when she was 24 she realized she had no identity. She understood her only identity came through being a mother and a wife, she had three young children under the age of 5. Which made her ask herself what was her purpose? Why was she here? She grew so despondent she began thinking of suicide because she had no purpose to her life. She was in a loveless marriage in Iowa, she didn't want to be in her marriage nor in that part of the country. She wanted out but didn't see a way to leave; it felt like her whole world was caving in on her because she had no purpose and no identity. She took off one night on a walk - this was back in the 70s when there were no self-help books and no one to talk to. At the time you just dealt with it on your own. But she knew there had to be more than that and so she took a walk. On this walk her anger started to come out: she was mad at God. She gave him a piece of her mind that night! After she finished with God she started ripping her dad, her mother, and her 10 siblings. She blamed everything that was wrong in her life on everyone else. Basically, she had decided she was going to check out; she just had to figure out when and how, which is why she was on her walk. After she had quieted down and wasn't yelling anymore, she was walking in thought and heard an inner voice ask her: Are you done? That pissed her off and she started yelling again! She yelled and screamed until she sobbed. She cried and cried like she had never in her life; she cried so hard she couldn't breathe! Through that, she heard the voice again ask her if she was done. And she said yes, I want out. In that moment she surrendered. The voice said, "Ok, we just have one question for you." She asked what the question was and the voice asked her who was going to take care of her kids? And that jolted her back into reality; she knew then she couldn't check out so she asked the voice to make a deal with her. She would take care of her kids and be there for them to grow up but she wasn't going to let them grow up in a loveless marriage nor in Iowa. In return, she needed to know her purpose. She knew she was more than just her kids' mother, and she told the voice she needed focus, guidance and to show her the way. The voice did guide her, and she shares the specifics of those next five years. Beverly also shares how her writing career got started during that time, what gave her the taste of freedom and why shame can lead to suicidal thoughts. She also tells us why she believes you can cure herpes and her own personal story of fibroid tumors. Listen in for that and more on today’s edition of Life With Herpes! Beverly’s Resources Beverly Zeimet’s website Email Beverly Zeimet Beverly’s free handout Beverly’s Facebook page The Power Formula, by Beverly Zeimet Here’s How I Can Support Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/UoHz1iwTv7E Hi guys and welcome to today's episode. I’m getting a ton of questions on genital herpes and oral herpes and it can be pretty confusing so today I want to spend some time on HS1 when it’s down there. A lot of questions I hear are: * “I have HSV1 but I also have genital herpes, so does that mean I have HSV2 also?” * “I have HSV1 but I don't get cold sores.” * “If I have HSV1 down there can my partner get it on their mouth?” * “I’m confused because I have genital herpes but HSV1 is oral herpes.”
In general, we are told to think oral herpes is only HSV1 and it can only be around your mouth and the “other” kind is genital herpes and its HSV2. This is 100% false and really they are no different from each other. For the sake of understanding, today’s message let’s get away from associating oral herpes with HSV1. Let's just use HSV1 and HSV2. With fun sexual activities like oral sex, herpes can be transmitted from someone orally to their partner genitally or visa versa genially to their partner's mouth. This is why so many people are getting oral herpes down there. To make sure we all know how common herpes is, ⅔ people have HSV1 and ⅙ people have HSV2. These statistics show there are more people with HSV1 and therefore it’s very common to be diagnosed with genital HSV1. It’s important to find out from your doctor when you are diagnosed with herpes if it’s HSV1 or HSV2. This way you can have a conversation with your partner and your potential future partners. For example, if partner A has HSV1 genitally and partner B has HSV2 genitally they can transmit herpes to each other because they are different strains of the virus. I’ve seen this actual situation happen to a number of couples and then boom...a whole new outbreak. So the bottom line is HSV1 and HSV2 can go wherever you give it a place to go. The previous categories of genital vs oral are not specific enough and in order to fully communicate with our lovers we need to know what strain and where we have it. DM me if you have any questions on this topic or need some clarification. See you next week. Xoxo, Alexandra Here’s How I Can Support Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/nbZVDinjiRI Hi friends! Ok, let’s get right to it. Outbreaks suck! I’m going to be vulnerable and tell you some of the thoughts that go through my head when I get an outbreak. I think; why me, why now, urg… of course I got an outbreak, Oh it was because I ate this or did that, why did I sleep with him, what was I thinking, oh no did I give it to my husband, annoying I have to watch what I eat the next couple of days, oh man I have to cancel some of my plans and do some self-care and take care of myself. Any of this st sound familiar? Yes, even though I’ve done a ton of self-work, forgiveness and totally moved on from that being diagnosed in July of 2011 it still can get to me when I have an outbreak. And you know what, that’s ok! Here is what I do when I get outbreaks. Take the antiviral asap. The sooner you get it in your system the sooner it can start working and start nipping it in the bud. A lot of times if I can get in within minutes of feeling an outbreak then I can even catch it and prevent the outbreak. Ideally, that’s the key. Boost my vitamin intake. The key is to get your immune system up and running. When you get an outbreak your body is compromised and it’s running on low or empty. So I make sure I have plenty of vitamins to keep my immune system strong. Besides my daily probiotic and my multivitamin, some other key vitamins are zinc, vitamin C, and lysine. The zinc is going to help boost your immune system (yay) and fights off invading bacteria and viruses. It also helps wounds heal faster. I take 1 capsule which is equal to 30mg. Vitamin C is an ascorbic acid and it helps prevent the cells from free radicals. Also, this helps your immune system. I take 2 capsules to equal 1000 mg. The last very very very important supplement is I-Lysine! I’ve done a past episode on this and I’ve linked it here, but before I go into lysine I need to talk about arginine. Here’s where lysine and arginine come into play with herpes. The herpes virus needs arginine to breed. Without arginine, it can’t multiply. It’s basically fuel to the fire and it feeds the virus which makes it multiple and thus you get an outbreak. If you have an outbreak and continue to feed it with herpes lighter fluid then guess what happens. You guessed it, it keeps the outbreak active longer and can even cause more lesions. So not a good combo. On the contrary, lysine suffocates the herpes virus. The virus cannot replicate when lysine is present. So when using the lighter fluid analogy it’s like a fire extinguisher to the virus. Lysine and Arginine play a pretty big role in preventing your herpes outbreaks. I have just discovered this miracle product that is made from olive leaves. The company is actually based out of Las Vegas so I’ve had the privilege to see some behind the scenes work. I apply this olive like past directly to the sore. I do it as many times as I can a day. So basically every time I go to the bathroom. Ladies, if you're like me and are about to worry about staining your panties, the stain does come out in the wash. I use a q-tip and apply it liberally to the area. I rest up. I do what I can to take things off of my calendar and take care of myself. This is personally the most difficult thing for me. What about you? But then I realize that this is how I most likely got in this position. So I force myself to take a nap, drink plenty of water and take an Epsom salt bath. The Epsom salts do wonders for your nervous system as well as help heal the sore. I even put some drops of essential oils in there too. I love an Epsom salt bath with lavender oil!!!! Let me know what works for you, I ‘d love to learn if there is something else out there that you do when you get your outbreak. Somethings will work better for others and some things won't. Remember the key to all of this is forgiveness, self-respect and self-love. See you soon! Xoxox, Alexandra Here’s How I Can Support Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show** If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/Fk9oCzIQ_IA Welcome to today's episode. In general when we hear the word herpes, or STD or STI our heart sinks. We become paralyzed and think, no way this is happening to me. Right? We also hear the word herpes and think, what the heck is it or oh I better google that. Since launching Life With Herpes in June of 2017, I’ve heard pretty much everything when it comes to herpes. Just an FYI...nothing is TMI. So if you DM me don’t be afraid to say it and don’t hold back. I’ve heard things like… * I don’t want to die from getting herpes! * Eww gross the blisters are gross, will they scare? * Why me, I feel like my life is over what do I do? * Is the itch on my balls the herpes coming on? * How did I get it, I never had sex! * I’ve been with the same partner for 2 years and now it just showed up, how is this possible? * If I have it down there will it show up there?
Do any of these sound familiar? You betcha. I had thoughts and questions like these too, except the balls part...lol Our society has done a great job of making us feel like lepers and an even better job of not educating us so this leaves us without knowledge of how to properly take care of the herpes virus and prevent outbreaks as well as prevent transmission. So here it is. Here’s the 101 on Herpes! What is herpes? Herpes is known as the Herpes Simplex Virus or HSV1 or HSV2. HSV1 is most commonly associated with oral herpes and HSV2 is most common in the genital region. Because herpes is a virus it means you will have herpes for the rest of your life. In other words, at this point, there is no cure for herpes. Sorry! When the virus is not active it will lie dormant along your nervous system until it wakes up and decides to rise to the surface of your skin and cause an outbreak. Think of it like a volcano, some are active some are dormant and some you just really don't know when they are going to explode. What does it look like? In some people, they describe their outbreak like a papercut. And some people describe their blister as a liquid filled blister. Some outbreaks are just one blister and other outbreaks can have a cluster of blisters. The blister will take on different appearances depending on if it’s in the infancy stage of the outbreak or if it’s in the healing phase. The beginning can look like a small bump or a cluster of small bumps, then they can fill with fluid or they are open and can look like paper cuts. The final stage is the scab stage where the blister has a small scab on it. Lesions can take the form of; a red spot, a pimple, an ingrown hair, razor burn, and a bug bite. How do I know if I have herpes? The best way to determine if you have herpes is to see a medical professional and get tested. Of the 16.2% of people who have HSV2 80% of them don’t know they have it. That number is unbelievably high and quite scary. Get tested and find out. In so many cases an outbreak goes unnoticed or misdiagnosed basically because we don’t want to admit we have it. Your test results will let you know if you have HSV1 or HSV2. What are some of the symptoms of herpes? There is a long list of herpes outbreak symptoms and for everyone, they will be different. I like to use the example of having a cold. Everyone has a little bit of different symptoms but at the end of the day, it’s a cold. Here are the herpes symptoms: * Swollen lymph nodes * Swollen glands in your pelvic area, throat or under your arms * Exhaustion * Headache * Body aches * Pain around your genitals * Inflammation around your genitals * Difficult peeing because sores can block the urethra * Itching * Nerve pain
Will I die from herpes? No, you will not die from herpes. Herpes is just a skin disease and that is it. If I’m exposed to herpes how long before it shows up? The typical incubations time is 2-14 days. However, in some people, it can take weeks, months and years before it is noticed. Can I be herpes positive without having an outbreak? No, if you are testing positive for herpes then at some point you’ve had an outbreak. If there is a blood test administered then the test is looking for the herpes antibody. The way our bodies work is when there is a foreign object such as a virus our body goes to work with our fighter T cells to protect us and the result are antibodies. So if we have herpes antibodies then we have the herpes virus and somewhere along the way, we had an outbreak. How do you test for herpes? There are two types of tests, a swab test or a blood test. Typically if a person is showing blisters then the medical provider will swab the blister. If there are no blisters present and it’s a routine check-up there will be a blood draw to look for the herpes antibody. I went into great detail in episode 85. Are Oral Herpes and Genital Herpes different? Yes and no. They are both herpes but they are different strains. At the end of the day they both do the same thing, cause a blister. HSV1 is most common in the oral region and can also be known as oral herpes, fever blisters or cold sores. HSV2 mostly appears in the genital region and known as genital herpes. However, either type, 1 or 2, can go to any spot. What are the signs of genital herpes? Genital herpes can appear anywhere in the genital region. For both men and women it can show up; your butt, your anus, inside of your thighs or below your belly button. For men, you can get an outbreak; on your penis, on your balls, or anywhere in that area. And for women, you can get outbreaks; on your vagina, inside your vaginal canal and even up to your cervix. What are the signs of oral herpes? Oral herpes likes to show up around your mouth. Blisters can appear on the lip or just outside of the lip. Sometimes the outbreak can travel up your face but the outbreak will begin around your mouth. Is a cold sore herpes? Yes, cold sores are the same thing as herpes. If I have oral herpes can I get an outbreak genitally or visa versa? If you have HSV1 and it is orally then you will get outbreaks orally. If you have HSV2 and get outbreaks genitally then you will get outbreaks genitally. A lot of times people ask if they have oral herpes will it show up genitally and the answer is no. The only way that can happen would be if that area was infected with the virus. Wherever you have your outbreaks is where you will continue to have your outbreaks. How is herpes transmitted? Herpes is skin to skin transmission. So when an infected person comes into contact with an uninfected person they can potentially transmit the virus. This can happen with kissing and touching. The virus likes moist wet areas so it is possible for the virus to be transmitted by another vehicle such as a lipstick or sharing utensils or drinks. Can I pass herpes without an outbreak? Unfortunately, herpes can be transmitted without an outbreak. It’s called asymptomatic shedding. Asymptomatic shedding is when the virus decides to shead and the virus pops up to the surface of the skin. There are no symptoms and the infected person has no clue this is going on. At this point, the virus can be passed and transmitted. What sexual acts can transmit herpes? Pretty much any sexual act can transmit herpes. I know...its a real bummer. So vaginal sex, oral sex, anal sex, foreplay, fondling and even masturbation can transmit herpes. How common is herpes? Herpes is so common and I can guarantee you that someone in your family has it too, they’re just not telling you. For HSV1 ⅔ or 217 million Americans have it and for HSV2 ⅙ people or 25 million Americans have it. That's a ton of people so please don’t feel alone. Of the 16.2% of people with HSV2 or genital herpes, 80% don’t even know they have it. How do I get tested for herpes? One of the reasons why herpes is taboo and its becoming an epidemic is because a herpes test is not included in the typical STD check up. A patient specifically has to ask for a herpes test. Not knowing this has become a surprise to many of us who suddenly get test results back and were like what? How did this happen? You can go to planned parenthood or your healthcare provider and ask them for a herpes test. What are the herpes stats? * ⅔ or 217 million Americans have HSV1 * ⅙ or 25 million Americans have HSV2 * 25% of women and 20% of men have HSV2 * Herpes male to non-herpes female transmission rate is 10% * Herpes female to non- herpes male transmission rate is 4%
Based on no sex during active outbreaks, non-use of daily antivirals, and non use of condoms * Condoms reduce transmission by 30%-50% * Daily antiviral suppression reduce transmission by 48% * 50% of genital transmission via oral sex is HSV1
References: American Sexual Health Association (ASHA) http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/ Center of Disease Control (CDC) https://www.cdc.gov/ Planned Parenthood https://www.plannedparenthood.org/ WebMD https://www.webmd.com/ Here’s How I Can Support Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/65rHgmukoTk Hi friends and welcome to today’s episode, thanks for spending your time with me. I love spending my time with you. A lot of times when we are diagnosed with herpes we can become germaphobes. I mean, I already was one and when I got herpes I went over the edge. Anyone else guilty? When I had an outbreak I would begin to alienate my body. I wouldn't touch certain parts of my body and I would ALWAYS wash my hands like 25 times before I touched anything. It was like self-punishment. There is a level when you need to stop, take a deep breath and move on. People ask me all the time will this transmit herpes or will doing that transmit herpes or what if… So here are some sexual things we are doing that can transmit herpes. Remember, I want you be aware of them not punish yourself.
Ok, The Obvious One…(no drumroll needed) Sex. I mean sex of all kinds. This includes; vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex and any other type of sex that you can come up with. In the hookup culture, what is considered a “goto” in lieu of a condom is the good ole blow job. Somehow we are missing in sex-ed that oral sex, including blow jobs and going down on someone, can transmit herpes just as easily as sex. So really the only thing you can be sure about with oral sex is not getting someone pregnant. Other than that, you are at as much risk as good old fashioned sex. In fact, 50% of genital herpes transmission is from oral herpes HSV1 transmission.
Fingering, Handjobs & Masturbation. If a person is infected and more importantly has an outbreak and you are messing around in that area then herpes can be transmitted. It goes back to skin to skin and touching the infected area. So even if you are keeping it at second base you want to make sure if you or your partner are having an outbreak to keep your distance. Even if you are a one-man band and you can still pass it. For example, if you have oral herpes and are having an outbreak and you touch it or pick at it and then decide to do some self-pleasure without washing your hands then boom. You just transmitted it. I want to make sure this is brought to your attention but what I don’t want is for you to shut down sexually or feel like there is no hope and you might as well wear a chastity belt. Please don't feel that way. I believe that it’s important to know everything there is to know about it so that you and your partner can make the right decision for the both of you. And trust me you can get creative when it comes to getting it on. There’s always latex! What I don't want to happen is think that an alternative solution will keep you and your partner protected and then see the virus pop up. Something I want to encourage everyone to do more of is wash your hands. I know I sound like your mom when you were 3 but its so true. Sometimes just washing your hands can prevent a ton of diseases and germs. When in doubt just wash your hands with warm water and soap for 25 seconds. See you all soon and DM me with any questions. Remember...get creative. Xoxo, Alexandra Oh and...Need Some Latex? Shop for it here.
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What Your Partner Is Thinking When You Tell Them You Have Herpes [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9nWEw2SkZCQjY0VQ==[/video_player] Life With Herpes This is one of the big questions I hear when it comes to dating someone who does not have herpes. We are always worried what we should say or not say or wondering what they are going to need from us in order to process the information. Here are the top questions partners ask and how you should respond. Tell The Truth Meaning, tell them you have herpes but you don’t have to go into your entire story. There's another day and place for this. Remember this is now about them processing it, not you reliving your diagnosis. What I mean by this, is you can touch on when you were diagnosed, if you want to disclose who it was from you can or you don’t have to, if you don’t know you can say you don’t know. But the most important thing is letting your new lover know you have herpes.
How It Affects Them Naturally, when we are told some shocking news we go into our survival brain and worry about how it will affect us or change our lives. So this is what’s going on with your lover so try not to take it personally if they are not as consoling and more concerned about their health. They are going to want to know what the herpes virus is and such as what type you have, where you have it, how long you have had it. This is where you go int to the herpes 101 or highschool sexed.
Will They Get It We are back to the survival brain and wondering if they either already have it or what the chances are they will get it. The key here is to let them know that is why you want to discuss this. There are 3 ways to prevent passing herpes and they are condoms, daily antiviral and communication. There are a lot of episodes on prevention and viral shedding, I’ll invite you to check those episodes out for more details. The key here is to discuss with them what methods you want to use to prevent passing it.
How Often Do You Get Outbreaks Your lover will ask you how often do you get outbreaks and do you take anything for it. This would be a good time to mention viral shedding and how herpes can be transmitted without signs or symptoms. You can refer to the FAQ document that I have for you to download to get the stats and the chances of transmission.
Do you know when you are getting an outbreak? What does it look like? Once you let them know how often you get outbreaks they are probably going to ask you if you can tell when one is coming on. Maybe you can maybe you can’t. Everyone has different signs and symptoms of an outbreak. Talk about it. Oh and don’t be surprised if they ask what it looks like and if it hurts. Remember, if they have never been exposed to someone having herpes or never had a conversation about this they don’t know.
Some key things to remember when you are having this conversation is it’s not about you. It’s about your partner. So do your best to inform them even if you feel like it’s captain obvious, they don’t know. This is not a time to bash your ex and tell them how awful they were to you and the cheated on you etc. Save that for another time and another place. This is about making sure they feel comfortable with you having herpes and giving them the facts and answering questions. If you want more guidance with this come over to Life With Herpes and find the support. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/zjdAdBj1f5Y Becoming Courageous Welcome to this edition of Life With Herpes. Emily Ann Peterson is my business #BFF and she is here to talk about bare naked bravery. Emily Ann is a singer-songwriter, author & creative consultant. She inspires courageous expression for people who crave all things beautiful, strong, sacred, creative and connected. Is Emily Ann’s book and her story about her experience of surviving an eating disorder, starting a musical career during the recession and the neurodegenerative disorder in her right hand that completely altered her life as a cellist and musician. We dive deep into those topics and more on today’s Life With Herpes! In 2013 Emily Ann’s life changed...again. Everything came to a screeching halt when she received a life-changing medical diagnosis: she had a neurodegenerative disorder in her right hand. At the time she was a full-time cellist; her cello was her second life and her voice in the world. It was her identity. Having overcome adversity before in the form of an eating disorder and a musical career, she dove headfirst into her diagnosis and the life-changing experiences it brought. Those experiences and that attitude brought her Bare Naked Bravery, her first book. Bravery Is A Part Of Life She wrote her book because she knew other people out there would be going through or know someone who is going through a similar experience. There was no book about how to be brave nor a book with the tools you need to be brave, so she wrote it. Emily Ann shares there are a lot of instances in which we find ourselves needing to be brave and we don't know how. Without a book or how-to manual, it can be even more terrifying. We can feel like we are all alone in our experience, and we'll have to pioneer it on our own. So even if there's just general advice we can receive in those moments it will be helpful. For her the medical diagnosis she received was even more of an isolating experience because people with her disorder usually aren't diagnosed until later in life, and it usually doesn't ruin their careers. She was younger than most and her career as a cellist seemed to be over. It also resulted in a complete identity reconstruction, something you may experience or have already experienced if you received a herpes diagnosis. If you have just been diagnosed with herpes and you identify with the stigma then you may have to go through something similar. And that is very tricky. Bravery Isn’t Perfection Her reconstruction was a process. She got curious about what bravery is: everyone talks about courage and strength but the definitions are either conflicting or inadequate. And the books she was reading about fear also didn't help much. They talked about lessening fear or eliminating it, but she came to see fear as a tool of bravery. It's not something we need to avoid or deny or ignore, it's something we need to use to move forward with the right decisions for ourselves. On today’s Life With Herpes, Emily Ann asked me how I used fear or experienced fear when I was diagnosed with herpes. I explain that at first I went into hermit mode. It was the Friday before the 4th of July so I had a three day weekend, and I remember being a hermit. I went to yoga, I cried. I went home, I cried. I went to yoga, I cried. I wasn't diagnosed with fear, I was a deer in headlights. I was in a state of shock. She explains how she utilized her fear: she went to the mountains to "creatively sulk". But she also used her fear to get really curious: she wanted to figure out what her diagnosis was actually and to figure out what bravery actually meant for her. She also got very intentional about the people she was hanging out with - our support systems can either be toxic to us or they can support us and help us. How you utilize your fear depends on your personality type. If you are introverted you may go into hermit mode. If you are extroverted you have to find trusted people to help you process and you can go into research mode. The people you share and process with must be people you can be vulnerable with and people who will love you no matter what. It's important to recognize how you respond to your diagnosis is going to be different than someone else. How you face your fears and lean into bravery will be your own experience and your own process. So consider your diagnosis an invitation to get to know yourself better. The more you get to know yourself the easier it will become to be brave. Reach Out To Emily Ann Emily Ann Peterson’s website Emily Ann’s Bood… Bare Naked Bravery Emily Ann Peterson on Twitter Emily Ann Peterson on Facebook Emily Ann Peterson on Instagram You Totally Want this---> School of Advanced Bravery Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/Km2QhOakym0 Hi friends! I’m glad you're here. Telling anyone you have herpes can be terrifying, paralyzing, scary, alarming and the list can go on and on. Now the thought of telling someone you like and want to have a relationship can be even more frightful. Personally, I believe it goes way deeper than having herpes, it’s the fear of rejection. And the thought of being rejected for having herpes feeds into the awful stigma. The truth is, a lot of time we never really know why a lover dumps us, or why they are just “not that into you” or why they never become a lover. But now with having herpes, we use it as our scapegoat as to why a love affair didn’t work out or as a reason we never even date in the first place. Trust me I get it! But this is the last thing I want you to feel. Take herpes out of the equation and date, have fun and fall in love. 5 simple steps to telling your partner you have herpes. Get Your Facts Straight It’s important to understand yourself what is herpes. And if you are here then that is exactly what you are doing. High five to you! I hear time and time again people misconstruing what herpes actually is. Its a virus that is skin to skin transmission, you will have the virus for the rest of your life and it causes painful blisters in either your genital region or your mouth. That’s it. It doesn’t prevent you from being healthy, happy, getting married, having children, getting the job of your dreams and most importantly it doesn’t kill you. Remember, it’s just a silly skin disease.
Practice On Your Dog Dogs are a man's best friend and they totally get you. If your a cat person then practice on your kitty and if your animal-free then practice in the mirror. Get whatever you want to say out. You can curse your gifter, cry on the floor, become angry, resentful or however you need to feel. Get it out. Then, start over without the anger and the rage. Telling your new love how awful or bad or wrong your pasts relationship was when you are telling them you have herpes is not the time. There will be a time and a place for it but this conversation is not that.
Do it in person, not over text It’s my motto that when you have bad news then you need to do it in person or if that’s not available then a phone call. I use this rule of thumb from when I was in the mortgage industry, there were times when I had great news like, “your house just closed” and then there were times I had bad news like, “I’m sorry to let you know but you do not qualify for the home you would like to buy.” It’s easy to deliver good news and it’s hard to deliver bad news. It happens way to often now with our text era but when we read texts or emails we can put a different tone or twist on the message and it might not be what was meant at all. So with that being said, it’s important you tell your lover to be in person. This way he or she can see your emotions, they can see how you feel about it and learn how to talk to you about it.
Understand Why It’s Important To YOU To Tell Them This is a really important key ingredient for you to understand. You may or may not share this with your lover to be but it’s important for your well being to understand. Of course, there’s it's the right thing to do, or maybe your doctor told you that you need to, or maybe your best friend is giving you a guilt trip. But you need to understand why you want to tell them. My personal beliefs and don’t feel like they need to be yours but mine are; honesty is a foundation to a relationship, talking about having herpes will help you prevent transmitting it to them, and sharing something so personal will lead to deeper connection. Take some time to figure out why you feel it’s important to tell your lover you have herpes. Maybe you share this when you tell them or maybe you keep it to yourself, it’s up to you.
Get Tested Before You Sleep Together This means both of you! This is something that is great to add to the conversation. Firstly, if we always had this as a rule before sleeping with someone then we might not be here today. Just pointing out the obvious and I’m totally guilty too. But in all seriousness, it’s your body, you only have one body and you will never get a new body. Being diagnosed with herpes should be a wakeup call to respect it and continue to respect it. If you don’t respect your body then nobody else will. By requiring you both to get tested shows that you value their sexual health and your sexual health. It puts you both on the same playing field rather than you coming into the relationship feeling like you are not an equal because you have herpes. Both get tested, see what the results are and talk about them. You’ve already gone through the, OMG I have herpes, I don't want to see you put yourself back in that position again. Of course, you can take the suggestions and use them how you wish. Maybe you have a fish you want to practice on...lol. But regardless, it’s important to know you are loved, you are beautiful and do not let this microscopic silly virus prevent you from finding epic love. If this is something you want to talk further about, I want to invite you to our 2 times a week support group. Telling your partner you have herpes is something we talk about all the time. Go to www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup to learn more and sign up for our next session. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Vagina Therapy, Body Work and Talking To Your Herpes https://youtu.be/2sXTGgDbE_Q Life With Herpes Podcast Welcome to this edition of Life With Herpes. Have you ever considered your body is trying to tell you something when you have an outbreak or when you aren’t feeling good in some other way? Our guest today says it is and she’ll help you understand the message. Sophia Wise One is a certified Holistic Pelvic Care Provider™ and Reiki Master. She practices Holistic Vagina and Rectal Therapy and has also begun working with men’s genitalia as well. Today on Life With Herpes, we talk about how you can move through any blocks, pain or trauma you may be holding in your pelvic area, why our bodies are not “good” or “bad” and how we can talk to our herpes virus. A Dive Into Body Wisdom & Body Healing To start off the show Sophia explains what it means to be a holistic pelvic care provider. She says the holistic perspective of this part of the body is that it is a landscape that holds information about our emotional, mental and spiritual health. So she approaches this work with a respect and interest to all of those things simultaneously. The pelvic area is considered to be the root of the body. In male-identifying people, it is the penis and in female-identifying people, it is the vagina. The root is where we hold a lot of our energy: our hurts, our fears, our hopes. Often these feelings get stuck, we create a dam there and these feelings can't move and flow. We all also have womb energy, this is the space in which we hold our regenerative and our creative self. Our dreams and our desires are held here. One of her favorite ways to think about the root is the pelvic bowl. This bowl is from the taint up to our hips. So when we're talking about the root, the primary teaching she offers here is to think to yourself: I am made of space and matter. I take up space, and I matter. Anything that is connected to you takes up space and anything that connects to you matters. Whether that is having a purpose in your life or feeling valued by others, and honoring your own needs is all based in the root area of your body. This area holds what we need and what we know. What we are feeling happens in our heart, what we are thinking in our minds, and what we know happens in our root/pelvic bowl. A lot of people don't experience this because they are disconnected from this area, so getting into the root can be scary and also exciting. Now when we're talking about herpes (specifically genital herpes), when we get connected to the virus does that mean it will dissolve itself physically? Herpes is so attached to shame, anger, hurt and distrust can get in touch with our root clear the physical manifestation of genital herpes? She thinks for some it could. Getting in touch with their root helps some people clear the congestion and the energetic, physical, emotional and mental stories about themselves. Clearing all of that could result in clearing the rash. She's not going to say it doesn't always happen because we have an opinion about our bodies that our body is either being good or it's being bad. She says there are many things that can go into our learning and our growth, and our bodies are just one of those many things. Sometimes when our bodies are doing something we perceive as "bad" it's only because they are communicating with us and asking for something they need. In other words, you can do all the things you need to do to get connected with your body and the herpes rash may still not go away. I asked her if we should talk to our herpes virus and she said absolutely. One way you can do this is to always start with love and care. You can place your hand lightly on your genitals. This helps you bring your focus and get connected to this area. Send a few breaths and feel into that space. Now ask the question you have for your herpes. Imagine that question is a penny and you have dropped it in a well, and you are the well. You want to feel that watery answer, so wait for it. It could be an emotion, a memory, a knowing, an image, a taste, a tingle, a sensation, a sound. On today’s show, we also get into what to do instead of Kegels, what pelvic floor work is exactly and how to know if we need it. Join us for this fascinating discussion on this edition of Life With Herpes. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Reach Out To Sophia Wise One Sophia Wise One’s website Sophia’s Connect to Your Root course (free) Vagina Talks podcast Sophia Wise One on Instagram Wild Feminine, by Tami Lynn Kent Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes As someone who has herpes, and I’m guessing you do too because you are reading this, leaning ways to prevent outbreaks is on the top of our list. Clearly after having our first outbreak, which is typically the worst, we never want to experience that again. I know I sure don’t. Chances are you’ve googled or tuned into Life With Herpes to find out what causes herpes outbreaks. I know I wanted to know what foods cause outbreaks or are there any lifestyle changes I need to make to prevent outbreaks. And of course the next question is what causes these suckers… ??? Over the years I’ve been paying careful attention to see what causes outbreaks and are there types of activities that can cause outbreaks. The good news is once you know your triggers you can begin to plan and combat the virus. Some of these are my personal triggers and some of these are triggers our members in the Life With Herpes community have mentioned. Here they are:
Sex It’s always fun to talk about sex. Friction and sex go together like peanut butter and jelly.It’s s a great thing and that’s what makes it feel so good but when there is too much friction like the, not enough lube type of sex, that type of friction can cause some skin irritation. The skin irritation can bring on some symptoms of an outbreak and even cause outbreaks. Listen to your body, if sex hurts then talk to your partner. This can be a hard conversation especially mid-pump but sex is supposed to feel good and not hurt so talk to each other. Maybe try using lube. Lube can be a fun thing and it can really help with the sensation for both of you. Stay away from the lubes that contain spermicide nonoxynol-9, it can irritate the vagina and mess up her environment in there and that equals no fun for anyone. If you are using condoms then make sure you use a water based lube because oil based can weaken the latex and cause holes and tears. If your in the market for an oil based lube then my favorite is the Woo For Play. Check it out here.
Travel The stress and or excitement of travel can definitely play a huge role on outbreaks. Other things that add to the travel plans are different time zones, not getting good sleep because you are in a different bed, different food, more alcohol consumption, different climate or environment and of course the actually travel time. We don’t realize how traveling really stresses out bodies. Whereas we are having fun sight seeing or visiting a lover our bodies are in overdrive mode fighting off new bugs that enter into our system. I know that for me personally travel always causes an outbreak unless I show it who's boss first.
Sun This one is more for people with oral herpes because the sun isn't necessarily seeing our privates. Extended sun exposure or also known as ultraviolet (UV) light can lower the immune system and in some people can cause an outbreak.
Grooming Mostly referencing for the ladies but we spend a lot of time waxing, plucking, shaving, sugaring and lasering. Depending on your hair and the coarseness and thickness of your pubic hair the grooming can really irritate your skin. We have pubic hair to protect us from infection and other hibijibis getting in there. I hear all the time from our community that women get outbreaks after shaving. This may or may not be a trigger for you but I wanted to make sure it was on your radar.
Trauma To The Area this includes activities like bike riding, horseback riding, riding the bull (maybe that’s your thing lol). Ladies this is more of our thing and it can also be caused from wardrobe trauma, know what I’m talking about when it comes to jeans that are too tight or sexy lingerie that is meant to be idle in and not actually warn or bodysuits with all the fun snaps. In other words, if there is some type of friction or abrasion to the area it can cause some suffering or a wound. I do believe if you build your tolerance up, like wear sexy lingerie daily (just kidding), or take up cycling then you will build up your endurance.
High intensity activities this one is more for your immune system and exhausting your body. So taking a boxing class or joining a running club won't cause an outbreak from the activity or sweating but what it can do is compromise your immune system. What I’m not saying is dont exercise, sorry if this was going to be music to your ears. What I’m saying is pushing yourself to the Flo Jo level every day may not be the best thing for your immune system. In fact, I’ve had some members mention they’re training for marathons and boom...an outbreak pops up. Moderate exercise has been found to increase your immune system and do great things for your body but crushing it back to back to back and not letting your muscles rest can open up a pathway for other viruses and bugs to get in thus making your body work extra hard and letting your herpes virus have a hall pass. Now that you know the top activities that cause outbreaks you can begin to either plan ahead, build a tolerance or have your herpes emergency kit ready. If you need more information on curing your herpes outbreak then click here to learn more.
Coconut oil, amino acids and what it has to do with the herpes virus https://youtu.be/STKVUA-OC-I Life With Herpes In the recent years, coconuts have become the holy grail of the beauty industry and is the solution to so many ailments. It’s claimed to prevent Alzheimer's, prevents heart disease, it doesn’t store as fat in your body, it is an immune booster and the benefits of coconuts just goes on and on. Trust me, I love coconut oil too. It’s great for cooking, I love using it as a lotion, as a moisturizer for my face, for keeping my teeth white and my favorite is lube. I should probably do an episode just on this. If you remember from previous episodes we break down arginine and Lysine and coconut is one of the biggies for the arginine to lysine ratio. Yikes!!! So is coconut oil good for your herpes outbreak or what? Coconut oil and coconut water don’t contain amino acids only the coconut milk and coconut meat contain amino acids. What this means is coconut oil and coconut water is excellent for you especially when you have an active outbreak. On the contrary, you will want to limit your coconut milk and coconut meat intake. Wondering how this all works? Let’s first talk about viruses. They have this protective outer shell that is made up of protein. This shell is what prevents our bodies from essential killing it or taking control of the virus allowing the virus to multiply in our body. Here is how the coconut oil comes to the rescue. The coconut oil contains Lauric acid and capric acid and they get metabolized and attach to the virus. The cool thing is that when this happens the coconut oil can dissolve this protective shell. It’s kinda like the virus getting caught with its pants down. The virus now has no protection and thus the virus dies. Pretty cool right? Moving forward, use as much coconut oil as you like for your cooking, sex and outbreak prevention. Here's my favorite coconut oil lube I use. Click here to learn more. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Key Foods That Cause Herpes Outbreaks https://youtu.be/O0xm4_QODJc Life With Herpes Hi, my friend and welcome to today’s episode of Life With Herpes. Some of the top questions that I see happening in our private community are around preventing outbreaks. You guys are asking is there something that is in my diet that is triggering this or is the someway I can control my outbreaks with nutrition. Basically, what can I do to prevent these dang things from interrupting my life? Ok so the YAASSSS you can. This is good news, right? Trust me, I’m like you and I want to do everything I can to prevent an outbreak and keep that sucker dormant. Before we dive in and cover the top foods that cause outbreaks I want to make sure we cover the main reason why these foods are Xed off our list. It boils down to one simple protein called arginine. Arginine is an essential amino acid that is crucial to our overall health. It supports things like blood flow, circulation and helps the blood vessels relax. We clearly need arginine in our system. The problem occurs when we have an abundance of arginine in our body it can be like lighter fluid to a flame or miracle grow to a weed. We want to be aware of what foods are high in arginine and foods that trigger a herpes outbreak. We can combat the arginine with another essential acid called lysine. This The other biggie, why some of these foods are on our don’t go there list, is because they lower our immune system. A low immune system equals a chance for the herpes virus to come out and play. Here are the top 5 foods that can trigger your herpes and cause an oh so painful outbreak. 1. Coconut I know what you are thinking, “coconut?” “Isn't that supposed to be an antiviral, an antibacterial and a superfood that does wonders in the kitchen and for our skin and everything else?” Well, at least that's what I was thinking when I heard coconut is off the list. Here’s why, coconut is super high in arginine and low in lysine with this ratio it can easily trigger an outbreak. Get this, when I was first diagnosed I read online that coconut did wonders etc so I would eat 2 tbsp a day! Basically, all of the arginine was just feeding the virus and the virus must have felt like it was at an all you can eat buffet. Not good! 2. Caffeine Maybe cut back on the triple shot % with extra foam venti latte. There are always so many studies coming out about caffeine. One day it prolongs your life and the next it shortens your life. One day it helps you maintain a healthy weight and the next it puts weight on. One day it helps with dementia and the next it doesn't. Basically, caffeine is a mixed bag so if you are a caffeine drinker then cut back to a lower dose. There’s no reason to be running on caffeine. There aren’t high amounts of arginine in caffeine however what happens in our bodies is it the caffeine creates an acidic environment and when our bodies are acidic it lowers our immune system and creates a breeding ground for viruses. I’m not saying don't have your morning cup of coffee I’m saying cut back so your immune system can do what it’s supposed to do. If you are feeling run down or have an outbreak then lay off the coffee for a couple of days so your body can renew. 3. Chocolate This one is personally the most difficult for me. Chocolate has so many great health benefits such as preventing free radicals, potential cancer prevention and overall good for our health. Not to mention how delicious it is but the downside for us with herpes is it’s high in arginine. If you're a chocoholic then see what you can do about cutting back and limiting your intake. Sometimes less can be more so maybe treat yourself to a special chocolate so you feel like you are indulging opposed to just having it on hand. 4. Nuts Nuts are such a great source of nutrients and fats but they are extremely high in arginine especially my favorite, peanuts. This one put a damper on things for me personally because nuts are such a great snack to keep in your purse or desk at work for when the hunger strikes. But nuts are a biggie. Some people are so sensitive that they can feel an outbreak coming on after finishing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. If you're nuts for nuts or it is based on convenience for you then try to limit this to a handful or try it every other day. Also, experiment with different nuts, maybe you can’t do peanuts but almonds are fine. 5. Sugar Sugar has been the villain in most of our nutrition guidelines and we have been advised to stay away from sugar to prevent every ailment. Now, I can’t disagree that sugar is bad for you but it’s also very very very hard to avoid it thus making it hard to cut out. It’s hidden in everything. Sugar doesn't contain arginine however what it does do is slower your immune system which is bad news. Your immune system works hard every day to keep your outbreaks at bay and keep the herpes virus dormant in your nervous system. When sugar is consumed it suppresses our white blood cells which are the ones that are our front line of defense thus making them sluggish against fighting viruses. When you're on a sugar high your immune system is on vacay and it gives the herpes virus an open door to pop up. What I don’t want you to be thinking after reading this is, “gosh I can’t have anything or all the good stuff is bad for me.” Or worse. I don’t want you stressing out over an almond or asking if there is coconut hidden in your chia seed pudding. Relax. Breath. Stressing out over your food choices can also cause a breakout and clearly, that is what we are trying to avoid. What I recommend and how I live my daily life is in moderation and balance. It’s ok to have a PB&J sandwich and it’s ok to have a piece of chocolate cake and enjoy an espresso and use coconut oil for cooking. Just not all in the same day. What I’m saying is keep it in perspective and enjoy these things in moderation and balance your arginine with lysine. If you have a piece of chocolate cake then the next day cut back on some of the other biggies. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes What you need to know to prevent herpes outbreaks. https://youtu.be/y2OZcjoLon0 Prior to being diagnosed with herpes you probably never heard of arginine and lysine. At least I never did. I am pretty sure it was covered in biology class at some point in high school but not being the science geek that stuff went right out of my memory bank. So what is all this fuss over arginine and lysine and how does it affect people living with herpes? Here are the deets. Let’s go back to science class. Remember what amino acids or essential proteins do? I had to pull this way out of my memory file. Amino acids are the building blocks of our muscles and really each muscle is what shapes our body so they are pretty important. Perhaps when you were in biology your teacher used the visual example of legos. Remember when you completed your lego house and it was all put together well imagine that each leggo is an amino acid. Each leggo fits and builds on top of the other one to make the big lego house. It’s the same with amino acids they all go together and to build your muscles. Amino acids do other cool stuff that is essential for the synthesis of proteins, enzymes, hormones, neurotransmitters, metabolic pathways, mental stabilization, and just about every function that takes place within the human body. So they are pretty important. Essential amino acids are...wait for it…essential. They are essential because our bodies can not make them on our own so in order to function properly, we have to consume them in our diet. There’s a whole long list of the essential amino acids but for our purpose, we are interested in Arginine and Lysine. We need both of them in our diets in order to live a healthy life and have our bodies function properly. If your going….what’s this got to do with herpes just hang in there a bit longer :-) So what do these two do in the body? Well, arginine improves cardiovascular health, increases blood flow and helps with athletic ability. You will find that there’s a lot of arginine in athletic performance drinks and supplements. Lysine is helpful with growth hormones as well as for athletes and people who are active because it helps the muscles repair and recover. It’s also used for fat digestion, lowering cholesterol, forming collagen and absorbing calcium. Both arginine and lysine are important and we need them in our system. Here’s where lysine and arginine come into play with herpes. The herpes virus needs arginine to breed. Without arginine, it can’t multiply. It’s basically fuel to the fire and it feeds the virus which makes it multiple and thus you get an outbreak. If you have an outbreak and continue to feed it with herpes lighter fluid then guess what happens. You guessed it, it keeps the outbreak active longer and can even cause more lesions. So not a good combo. On the contrary, lysine suffocates the herpes virus. The virus cannot replicate when lysine is present. So when using the lighter fluid analogy it's like a fire extinguisher to the virus. Lysine and Arginine play a pretty big role in preventing your herpes outbreaks. Now if your thinking, “great I will just eliminate all arginine from my diet and only eat lysine so I never get another outbreak” that's what I thought too. However, this won't work and as I explained earlier, both are essential and we need both arginine and lysine in our diets to live life. But here is what you can do to help fight the herpes fire. You can cut back on the high arginine foods, increase the lysine foods and the pro tip is take daily lysine supplements. By adding a little bit extra lysine to your diet it can help keep the herpes virus dormant or if you get an outbreak lysine will help speed up the healing process and keep it at bay. I use the Pure Encapsulations of I-Lysine, click here to buy. I take 1000mg daily and 3000mg if I have an outbreak. Sometimes when I feel my immune system is low or if I have overindulged in high arginine foods then I will up my does for the day. Give them a try. Also, please remember if you have any questions to consult with your doctor before taking supplements. Make sure your body can handle them and you don't have any cross-reactions. Ok? Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/4OhInpaPqJI Welcome to today’s show on life with herpes. As always, I am thrilled to be here with you and spending the time with you. So, here’s the deal. Yes, you can have sex with someone who has herpes. Or if you have herpes then yes, you can have sex with someone who doesn’t have it. Let me break it down for you and tell you what herpes is and isn’t: Herpes Is: * A virus that you will have for life * Contagious even if there is no outbreak present * Causes blisters and discomfort * There are two types; HSV1 and HSV2 and both types can go to either your mouth or to your genital region
Herpes Is Not: * Life-threatening * Something that will get in the way of your day to day life * The end of your sex life * Going to ruin your life (promise)
When you are going to have sex with someone it’s always important to have the conversation about your sexual health. This protects you as well as your partner. If you have herpes then it is important to let your partner know. Just do it. Put it out there. Tell them you have herpes before sleeping together. The last thing you want to happen is have it come back and bite you in the ass. Once this is all out on the table then talk to your partner about the appropriate methods to protect each other. I have an episode all about ways to prevent passing herpes to your partner on episodes 84 and 82. The long story short is herpes doesn’t ruin your life or your sex life. Because you now need to communicate and add the trust factor in there it most likely will add to a deeper connection and even a better sex life. Just say’n. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Revie
6 Ways To Handle It https://youtu.be/UwBdPAWRvFU Life With Herpes Nobody likes rejection. In fact, I believe that rejection is what holds most of us back from reaching for the stars, following our dreams, quitting that job, asking that hottie out, being who you are and absolutely loving who you are. I would never want to repeat those jr. high days of wondering if all of a sudden you are not going to be asked to sit at the cool kid table. Or if you missed the memo that everyone was supposed to wear a ponytail and you decided to wear your hair down. I still think the rejection in the 6th grade is way worse than the rejection of herpes but I can see where they come in close to the finish line. Lol. Did you ever have that hard of a time in the 6th grade? Anyway, back to today and dealing with the fear of having herpes. The fear is the perception that someone will judge you or miss treat you or reject you because you have herpes. Well, I say let them. The truth is EVERYONE is being judged and as hard is it is to admit it, you are judging people too. Maybe you use this as an opportunity to self reflect...just saying. But back to herpes and rejection, I understand it hurts, I understand that it is F%king scary and at the end of the day all we want is to be loved unconditionally and be happy. Here are 5 ways you can handle the rejection: 1. You Can’t Predict The Outcome You are only in control of your feelings and thoughts you can not be in control of others. 2. Rejection Happens Regardless Of Having Herpes Really herpes has nothing to do with it. Rejection is a part of life. We like to use the fact that we have herpes as a scapegoat but it 3. Divine Intervention Maybe this is God’s way (aka the universe or whatever you believe in) way of weeding out the bad and making you available for the right one. 4. Feel Your Emotions Once the rejection happens let yourself feel the rejection. Look at what other emotions come up. Maybe anger? Maybe sadness? Maybe resentment? Maybe you feel like a victim. Regardless feel your emotions. By ignoring them it will only make matters worse and the feelings will continue to fester and eventually they explode. 5. Give Yourself A Pat On The Back Realize that you stepped out of your comfort zone and took a chance. Hey, it’s better than sitting on the sofa crying and feeling bad for yourself. 6. Ask yourself, What did I learn? You always will learn something and there is always a lesson. Yes, sometimes it’s positive and sometimes it’s negative but regardless you learned from putting yourself out there. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://lifewithherpes.com/emergencycall/ Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show* If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
https://youtu.be/yWftZLoyfJw I get it, you were either just diagnosed with having herpes and you feel like your whole world is up in the air or you just broke up and now you are back in the dating game. Regardless, it is scary and now adding herpes to the dating game is a whole new animal. I can remember when I was first on the market after finding out about my diagnosis. I already had herpes for about 2 years before I had broken up with my ex and decided to get out there. All of the emotions ran through my head; will someone love me, Will someone even want to touch me, will I give it to someone, maybe he will have it too, how do I even begin to disclose. Sound normal? What I realized is we put so much emphasis on herpes. I decided to take herpes out of the equation and go for it. At the end of the day what is the worst that can happen? They say that they are really not into you and you move on. I can remember I had a family friend tell me, “Alexandra dating is like the city bus, there is always another one on its way.” Its funny but if you think about it it’s kind of true. When I look back at my dating days and deciding to date with herpes here’s what I learned… 1. What is it you want? Really look at yourself and answer this question. Think to yourself, am I looking for a long-term relationship or is it something casual or maybe I really don’t want to date at all I am just filling a void. Have a clear idea of what you are after and what you want in return. Knowing ahead of time can even make it easier to “have the talk”.
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Talking about sex is already scary, now you have to add that you have herpes to the talk. Naturally, when the word sex is used we all turn into little kids. We giggle, laugh, get shy, raise our eyebrows, or even feel shameful for talking about it. Sex especially herpes is not something we were educated in to have a productive, adult like, or normal talk. Even if you did not have to disclose you have herpes, having the sex talk would either never happen or it would be really uncomfortable.
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You don’t have to have sex to date. Maybe this is an ah-ha moment. A lot of times when we use the word “dating” we assume that sex is involved. Well, there is no reason why sex has to be involved unless in case you want it to. I dated many many many men and never slept with them. Therefore, I never had to disclose to them that I had herpes. It was kind of a breath of fresh air to go on dates and meet different guys and learn what I liked or didn't like. The beauty was I got to have fun without having to disclose my little secret or even let the sex complicate it.
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It’s up to you to decide when you want to disclose and yes you have to tell them! Some people disclose asap and some disclose months down the road, it’s totally up to you and every personality is different. If you really don’t give a F*%k about the outcome then you will most likely tell them early and get that out of the way. Or sometimes people just want to lay it all out on the table to weed out prospects. Other’s want to take there time and see if they really like them and see if they want to do with the relationship. It’s totally up to you and there is no time limit on when you have to tell them. However, you do have to tell them if you are going to expose them to it. If you are ready to take your relationship to the next level then yes, you absolutely need to tell them.
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It’s 100% up to you to decide when you want to have sex. Similar to it’s up to you when you want to tell them and up to you if you want to sleep with them but most importantly it’s up to you to decide when. There is no set time frame for when you should be sleeping together. Forget the old “3 date rule” or we have to say the “I love you’s.” None of this matters. You and your partner can decide when the relationship can go to the next level. There is no reason to feel pressured and if you do then perhaps you need to reassess the relationship.
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Understand your worth. Don’t settle for any reason but especially because you have herpes. Herpes has zero reason for you to lower your standards, desires or dreams. DOn’t let someone tell you otherwise or make you feel less of a person because you have herpes. You are in no way a second-class citizen.
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Just because you have herpes does not mean your partner will get it too. The good news is that just because you have herpes doesn’t mean your partner will get it. There are other episodes (082 & 084) on this if you want to dive deeper but by communicating and using precautionary methods you can really lower the risk of transmitting it. When using condoms and antivirals you can really cut down the chance of transmission. So make sure you let your partner know that it is not a for sure thing but they need to be aware of the risk.
If you are wanting to learn more about dating with herpes join Alexandra and the rest of the Life With Herpes crew for our 2 x a week live group coaching. We cover this and much more every week. To learn more click here. Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=13691061&appointmentType=6092800 Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Life With Herpes https://youtu.be/AMdOwNLTaxQ Your Fairy Godmama has got your back... Welcome to this edition of Life With Herpes. One of the most common topics people ask me about is dating, and I could think of no better person to share with you than Jenn Burton. Jenn’s business is called Have Him Your Way - and it’s based on her life story of dating, relationships and marriages. She always tried to be who she thought the man wanted her to be. One day she woke up and said no more. Hear what happened next and much more on this episode of Life With Herpes! Jenn is the first to tell you she used to be a hot mess. She was the queen of how to lose a guy in 10 days. While separated during her first marriage she came to the realization that the entire relationship was based on him: it was about what he wanted, when he wanted it. That night she was on her knees sobbing asking for a sign, which came along three days later when a man asked if he could take her out on a “real date”. Everything changed from there. She went from being the woman trying to figure out the man to being the woman who liked men but was going to focus on herself. It was then that men started crawling out of the woodwork. Her dating life became magical and fun - all because she began to put herself first and interact with men differently. On this episode I also asked Jenn a question I hear often: what should you do if you invest time in dating someone only to have them reject you when you tell them you have herpes? Jenn says just as in life there are no guarantees in dating. One of the things she has found important is to stand for yourself, explore your romantic options and disclose when you are ready to disclose. If the person you have been dating can't handle it then that person is not meant for you, someone else is meant for you. Don’t live your life playing small romantically because you have a virus. And doing something called mantourage dating can also help. Mantourage dating is dating more than one man at a time till you meet your forever man, or indefinitely if you so choose. When she left her marriage in 2006 she did exactly this. She decided she was going to throw out all the dating rules, and instead she would explore herself romantically and explore men in a different way. Instead of trying to get to the destination of a committed relationship and marriage she was going to enjoy the moment and enjoy the journey. Mantourage dating doesn't mean you have to sleep with multiple men - it's merely the act of going out on dates with men. Remember these are actual dates, not just hanging out. Be sure to clarify his romantic intentions so there are no mixed signals, and playfully let him know what you want too. Today we also talk about how to know when you should tell the person you are dating you have herpes, and why masturbation is something women should do more. Our last few minutes of the show are all about you: we answer your questions including whether or not there's ever a good time for an ultimatum! Hear all of that and more this episode of Life With Herpes. Don’t Miss Jenn’s Gift For Our Life With Herpes Community: Jenn Burton’s gift for you Ways To Connect With Jenn * Jenn Burton’s Website * Jenn Burton on Twitter * Have Him Your Way on Facebook * Jenn Burton on YouTube * Jenn Burton on Instagram * Jenn Burton on LinkedIn * Single Smart Female podcast
3 Way's I Can Help 1. Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup 2. Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit 3. Emergency Call - https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=13691061&appointmentType=6092800
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways You Can Support The Life With Herpes Show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
What Types of Tests are There For Herpes? [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9uVDVUNDFTM2pRQQ==[/video_player] The breakdown of herpes tests, false positives and retesting. So maybe you’re wondering if your herpes test came back with a false positive. Or maybe you are wondering if you were even tested for herpes when you did your other STD testing. Or maybe you are just wondering where to even begin. Well here it is, there are 2 types of herpes tests; the culture test and the blood test. I want to make sure you are aware that you have to ask for a herpes test. Just because you got STD/I tested does not mean you were tested for herpes. You specifically have to ask for a herpes test. Not knowing this little bit of crucial information can really cause for some false hope in a clear STD test. Why this is the case is beyond me but I wanted to make sure you knew this essential tidbit. If you are like me then you are probably thinking, with different types of tests how do I know what type is best for my situation and I have to specifically ask for a herpes test? Basically, herpes testing is broken down into 2 categories; symptoms or no symptoms? So let’s talk about herpes symptoms: If you have symptoms like an outbreak with lesions or blisters then most likely your doctor or medical provider will do a culture test or commonly known as a swab test. This usually takes place 48 hours after the lesions appear and one of the downsides is the test results can take up to a week for the results. So if you are experiencing an outbreak and a ton of pain then you may have to wait a week to get a prescription. The good news (if there is good news when we are talking about herpes :-) ) with the culture test is that the virus can be identified either as Herpes Simplex Virus 1 (HSV1) or Herpes Simplex Virus 2 (HSV2). The other piece is that if your culture comes back positive for HSV 1 or 2 then you can know for sure that you have herpes. The good news is you are no longer playing the waiting game even though it is not the answer you were looking for. The Herpes Culture Test Takeaways: * Need to have an active outbreak for longer than 48 hours to test * The test can determine if it is HSV1 or HSV2 * If the test comes back positive you can be sure you have herpes.
Now let’s say you don’t have symptoms and you want to get tested for herpes. These types of scenarios would be you slept with someone who has herpes or you are being proactive and in charge of your sexual health are getting tested or maybe your partner just told you that they have herpes. In other words, you don’t have sores or lesions. There are 2 types of blood tests that can be administered the IgM & IgG. Before we go into what the IgM & the IgG tests do I want to go back to 6th-grade science class. Remember what happens when you get a virus? maybe...lol? Well, when something foreign comes into your body that can be harmful like bacteria, viruses and or parasites our immune system kicks into full gear to protect us and keep us healthy. First, your B cells or your white blood cells come to the scene and fight to keep you healthy in return they create antibodies. Then the fight T cells show up to kill off the badly infected cells to prevent the bad cells from reproducing and populating. There is a triage team of cells that show up when the herpes virus shows up. It’s kinda cool. Let’s look at IgM & the IgG blood tests for herpes. The tests are looking for the IgM & IgG antibodies in the blood because the HSV virus does not live in the blood. The difference between the two is the IgG appears soon after infection and stays in the blood for life. IgM is actually the first antibody that appears after infection, but it can disappear after. So the most accurate of the two is the IgG and the IgM is not typically administered. There are 3 reasons why the IgM is not typically administered and they are: * IgM can come and go in the body so it may give a false reading and a false time frame of when the person actually contracted herpes * The test can’t determine if you have HSV1 or HSV2 and most people in the US have the HSV1 antibody so you could receive a false positive for HSV2 * The IgM can sometimes pick up other viruses that are in the herpes family such as chickenpox or mono.
Here is the deal with the IgG: * The IgG can determine if it is HSV1 or HSV2 * If you test positive for HSV than it is accurate * The downside is the antibodies have to show up in the system and this can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. Every person's body reacts differently. * If you test too soon and the antibodies are not yet in the bloodstream then you can receive a false positive and then a few weeks later test positive
Is there a test that will tell me if I have oral or genital herpes? Well yes and no. The blood tests, IgM and IgG do not pinpoint if you will have an oral outbreak or a genital outbreak. The IgM & IgG do determine if it is HSV1 or HSV2. The swab tests will pinpoint if it is oral or genital because you have an outbreak and it will also determine if it is HSV1 or HSV2. Typically if you have an oral outbreak then statistically you have HSV1 and if you have a genital outbreak then statistically you have HSV2. However, as we have discussed before the virus can be interchanged and you can become infected with either or both viruses in either or both places. Can I have False Positives on my herpes test? As we discussed earlier it all depends on the antibodies showing up in your system and if you have an actually outbreak with lesions. If you test too soon and the antibodies have not popped up yet then you can get a false reading. Same as if you to a culture test too soon or too late. If you administer the test before the lesions or after they have healed up the most likely you will get a false reading. If A Test Comes Back Negative, Should I Retest? Considering that there are chances of false negatives during any herpes test, it is important to consider a retest, especially if you are experienced lesion or you know you have come into contact with someone who is infected. References: ASHA WebMD Planned Parenthood Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=13691061&appointmentType=6092800 Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Live With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways you can support the Life With Herpes show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
Condoms and Herpes Prevention https://youtu.be/L9LqhaGD-zM Life With Herpes One of my biggest pet peeves are when people say…”oh I always use a condom so I am fine or clean or there is no way I have herpes.” Firstly bravo and a huge pat on the back for “always using a condom” you are one in a very small majority. But I also want to let you know that just because you are using condoms it does not mean you are totally protected. Here is why… Everything you ever wanted to know about condoms… * Male condoms are used to cover the penis to prevent bodily fluids from both partners from passing which prevents pregnancy and stds. They are made out of latex, plastic or animal skins. If condoms are used correctly and consistently they are very effective. Condoms should be used when having oral, anal or vaginal sex. * Female Condoms - Are bigger than a male condom and are used a little differently than the male condom. * Both Female and Male condoms are hormone free and if used correctly are effective. Please keep in mind that male and female condoms cannot be used together. * If you want to use lube then only used a water-based lube not an oil based lube. The oil can eat away at the latex and make them less effectiveness * It is very important to know that the condoms that are made out of animal skin do not protect you against STI’s or STD’s’ or Herpes they are only to prevent pregnancy. Only the condoms that are made out of Latex or Plastic condoms prevent the transmission of herpes * Always check the expiration date and don’t store them in a hot place like you wallet (guys) or your car. The heat breaks them down as well. * For more information and videos Planned Parenthood female and male condoms
When you should use a condom… Oral, Anal and Vaginal Sex Yes, I said oral sex. Condoms should be used for all types of sexual activity oral, vaginal and anal sex. I have gone into specifics on other episodes 68 & 69 . But to touch lightly on this subject of using a condom or a dental dam for ladies for oral sex and why it is so important is because herpes can be transmitted from oral to genital. So if you or your partner have oral herpes and perform oral sex then you can be exposing your partner to herpes in their genital region. So yes, oral, vaginal and anal. Viral Shedding in episode 84 Pro tip: cut a condom down the middle to use it as a dental dam. Also, you can purchase flavored condoms so get creative. How the heck do condoms protect you? In this case we are speaking specifically about herpes and preventing the transmission of herpes. Herpes is a skin to skin transmission. When an infected person comes in contact with an uninfected person then the risk of transmission is there. When using condoms the condom creates a barrier between the skin thus hopefully not infecting one another. Here is what I want you to be aware of on why they are not 100% guaranteed to prevent passing herpes. 1. Actually using them and using them the entire time (guilty) 2. Using them correctly (this means foreplay and oral and anal) 3. There are other skin to skin areas that come into contact when having sex.
I want to cover this in detail for a couple of reasons. Firstly, if you are one of the people who always used a condom and ended up with herpes and are beating yourself up over this then I want you to STOP. I want you to understand that you didn’t do anything wrong and yes, even though you always used a condom you probably didn’t know (because of the lack of sex education in our society) that some STD’s/I’s were still able to be passed. I have people in their 50’s asking me how in the world they contracted herpes in their 20’s because they always used a condom. Well, this is why. And secondly, the reason I wanted to go into detail about the use of condoms is that I want you to know that if you are worried about telling your partner or think that if you just “use a condom” then it will be fine well it might not always be fine. In other episodes, I go into details on the best methods to use to prevent passing herpes to your partner. Just in case you want to keep learning more about this. Episodes 78 & 82 Need to order some condoms… go here for male condoms and go here for female condoms Here’s How I Can Help Join our monthly live Herpes Support Group - www.lifewithherpes.com/supportgroup Herpes Outbreak Toolkit - https://lifewithherpes.com/herpes-outbreak-toolkit Emergency Call - https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=13691061&appointmentType=6092800 Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join The Life With Herpes Community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways you can support the Life With Herpes show If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review More Episode Resources * How can I help you? Tell me in a free 15 minute chat! * Life With Herpes YouTube channel (Don’t Forget to subscribe) * DoTerra’s essential oils
What you need to know about the herpes virus [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9BLXc1WGkybHRFTQ==[/video_player] Life With Herpes Welcome to today’s episode of Life With Herpes. As always I am thrilled to have you here with me, and I am thrilled to be doing whatever it is you are doing. Today I want to get specific and nitty-gritty about viral shedding. This is a question I see a lot, and I also see it become the root to a lot of the questions I see so I thought I would get as detailed as possible when it comes to viral shedding. So let’s start from the beginning. What is Viral Shedding? According to Wikipedia (because I had to look it up lol), The term is used to refer to shedding from a single cell, shedding from one part of the body into another part of the body, and shedding from bodies into the environment where the viruses may infect other bodies. Let me put this into layman's terms; the virus is just like any other part of our body that wants to shed or get rid of waste. In other words, the virus pops up to the surface of your skin, and it is contagious at that time. What are the symptoms or signs of viral shedding? Viral shedding is asymptomatic which means there are no symptoms or signs. Unlike when we get outbreaks we have tingling, or pain, or itching or another type of the trigger that let us know we have an outbreak. When viral shedding occurs, the person has no idea that is happening. The good news is there is no outbreak or swollen lymph nodes or any other symptoms we have to deal with when we get outbreaks. But the bad news is you don’t know it is happening, so it is hard to protect your partner or give them heads up. The only way to know if you are contagious and your herpes virus has decided to shed would be to go to the doctor and have a medical professional swab your genital or oral area. This is a waste of everyone's time, money, and energy because by the time you would get your results back your contagious window would be closed. Are there times when viral shedding occurs? Unfortunately, we cannot predict when it happens. It is not like it’s a seasonal thing like the flu or a monthly thing like a period. It just happens. However, there is some good news. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) people with Herpes Simplex Virus 1 (HSV1) viral shedding only occurs 5% of the time. If you have Herpes Simplex Virus 2 (HSV2), then the virus sheds 6-10% of the time during the first year and then decreases after that. Why the first year? Most likely because your body is trying to adjust to the newest member of the family. Your body is trying to fight it off and protect itself from getting sick or having an outbreak. As time continues in most people, your body builds up immunity, and you will have fewer outbreaks. So it makes sense that you would have less viral shedding. Do antivirals help with reducing viral shedding? Yes, they actually do so this is great news. Studies have shown that daily use of Valtrex also reduces the proclivity of the virus to “shed”, or be contagious as often. Its use appears in studies to reduce the viral shedding periods by 50%. Antivirals such as Valtrex and Valacyclovir inhibit the development of the virus or in layman's terms prevent an outbreak from occurring. Antivirals do not cure herpes, guarantee that there will not be an outbreak or prevent viral shedding. They suppress the virus so that it stays dormant in your body. What are the best methods to prevent passing herpes to my partner? There is no magic pill or guarantee that herpes will not be transmitted. Unfortunately, the virus is very contagious and for it to survive it needs to continue to find more hosts. Otherwise, we would not be dealing with herpes thousands of years down the road. It would have died out like the dinosaurs. Two ways you can prevent passing herpes to your partner are condoms and a daily antiviral. However, this is not a guarantee. For example, when using a male condom, there are still areas of the genital area that are not covered, and body parts will touch other exposed body parts during vaginal sex, oral sex, and anal sex. Yes, condoms cover a good portion and help protect you, but they are not going to cover the area completely. And as you have learned from reading this article taking the daily antiviral will lessen your chance of having an outbreak as well as lessen your chance of viral shedding. So using them combined will help protect your partner. Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join the community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways you can support the Life With Herpes show? If you enjoyed this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you than a subscribe would be a great idea. Are you a YouTuber? Go ahead and subscribe to the show. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. When you subscribe it helps the algorithm in YouTube and it helps promote the show. If you are worried about your identity and your friends finding out you subscribed to a herpes channel then change your settings to private. And trust me I totally get it and would want to keep it a secret. Also, when you subscribe you will be notified in your inbox when a new episode is out or when Alexandra is live on Youtube Live. Subscribe Here Are you a podcast listener? Please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review More Episode Resources * How can I help you? Tell me in a free 15 minute chat! * The Herpes Outbreak Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST) * Join The Life With Herpes Community * Life With Herpes YouTube channel * DoTerra’s essential oils
Life With Herpes [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS8zblZmWWtUVnhWWQ==[/video_player] Changing the outlook for Positive People Welcome to episode 83 of Life With Herpes. Today we have an extra special episode for you: not only do we have a guest but we have a male guest joining us! Courtney Brame of the Something Positive for Positive People podcast is here.Courtney works as a personal trainer and lives in St. Louis, Missouri - the STD capital of the US. We talk about why it’s the capital, his story with herpes and how that led to the creation of his podcast. You’ll hear all of that and much more on the 83rd edition of Life With Herpes! More About Life With Herpes About six years ago Courtney was diagnosed with genital herpes simplex virus type 2. He had recently graduated from college and had a good job. He woke up one day with symptoms of the flu: he had a fever, aches, chills, etc. He went to use the bathroom and noticed the top of his penis didn't look right. He describes it vividly saying it looked like someone took a dropper full of acid and just dripped it on his penis! Naturally, he was very worried so he got his mom to take him to urgent care. The doctor gave him antibiotics for chlamydia, gonorrhea and gave him a prescription for herpes. The doctor also gave Courtney a pamphlet explaining the virus, and then sent Courtney on his way. With a new diagnosis and very little information, Courtney went home and went straight to Google to find out how to manage it, and treat it. Once he had sorted through the information and had a better handle on the situation, he contacted his previous partners. But to this day he has never found out who gave it to him. On this episode of Life With Herpes, we talk about the positive impact it had on his life. It helped him change his approach to relationships and to learn what it really means to have a healthy diet and lifestyle. He's taken all of that knowledge and applied it to his life, which has helped him have only a few outbreaks over the last six years. We also talk about how we've both learned you can't look at someone and know if they have an STD or not. Society at large promotes these stigmas, and the only way to break through them is to continue to educate people whenever possible. Society also programs us and our perceptions of sex, as well as getting and having STDs. We wrap up with a chat about his podcast, Something Positive for Positive People. It started out as a way for him to prove a point. He had met someone who also had herpes and she thought it was the end of the world. They became friends and one day she told him she had contemplated suicide because of her status. He then started to hear more people talk about having that same response - in various secret groups and support groups people shared they had also thought of suicide after being told they had herpes. Because of that he decided to put together audio of people with herpes telling newly-diagnosed people it's okay to have the virus, it isn't the end of the world. The audio got some traction online and he invested in the podcast platform so he could continue to reach a wider audience. The podcast has become an educational tool and continues to evolve. Today it also includes conversations with people who have HSV 1 and HSV 2 as well as HIV and HPV. You can hear Courtney share why reaching people in all of these communities - and beyond - is so important to combating stigma. Hear his story and more on episode 83 of Life With Herpes. Episode Resources * Something Positive for Positive People * Courtney’s gift for you * Follow Courtney on Twitter * Courtney Brame on Instagram * Courtney Brame on Facebook
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join the community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways you can support the Life With Herpes show And if you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you, please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review More Episode Resources * How can I help you? Tell me in a free 15 minute chat! * The Herpes Outbreak Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST) * Join The Life With Herpes Community * Life With Herpes YouTube channel * DoTerra’s essential oils
Ask Answer And Get The Facts About Herpes [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS90cFBLMlJvUlZoTQ==[/video_player] Life With Herpes Welcome to today’s episode on Life with Herpes, I am excited to be spending today with you whatever it is you are doing. You get to hear behind the scenes of me trying to figure out a time to shower and get my laundry done. So if you are watching this on youtube you will see that I am in my gym clothes and I had not yet showered. One of the main concerns or questions I get are how do I prevent passing herpes to my partner. And today’s question comes from David in Philadelphia. He asks, “how do I guarantee I won’t pass herpes to my partner.” The short answer is, you can not guarantee you will prevent passing it. That is why this little virus has made it for generations and keeps on giving. I talk about more about this in episode 078 if you want to hotpover and learn more. Here are the 3 best ways to prevent passing herpes to your partner: 1. Educate yourself 2. Talk to your partner 3. Use protection
One of the biggest misunderstandings with herpes is we originally believed that you could only transmit the virus when there was an active outbreak. This is 100% false. 70% of the transmissions occur when there are no symptoms. So keep in mind that we can always transmit the virus due to viral shedding. The reason why I am getting this information out there is not to scare you or prevent you from having sex. That is the last thing I want for you. Sex is a part of life and is a beautiful part of life, because you have herpes you do not need to become abstinent or become a hermit. What I want for you is to be as educated as possible so that you can have a healthy sex life. Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join the community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways you can support the Life With Herpes show And if you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you, please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review More Episode Resources * How can I help you? Tell me in a free 15 minute chat! * The Herpes Outbreak Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST) * Join The Life With Herpes Community * Life With Herpes YouTube channel * DoTerra’s essential oils
Aunt Flo bringing the gift that keeps on giving [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9OYjlKMUxqZVhVaw==[/video_player] Life With Herpes Welcome to today’s episode on Life With Herpes, thank you for joining me and our other members. Today’s episode is always one of my favorites because I get to hear directly from you. It’s the #AskAlexandra section of the podcast! Today’s question comes from Rose in Franklin Tennessee. She says, “ it feels like I am always getting outbreaks on or around my menstrual cycle. It is possible that my period is creating outbreaks?” Well the answer is yes but hear me out. There have been no direct links or reports saying that women get more outbreaks on their period but from what I have personally noticed as well as what I have heard from the Life With Herpes community most of us get outbreaks on our period. We are more sensitive on our periods, I know this is Captain Obvious , however, it is not just our emotions it is our vaginal region too. Here is what happens to us emotional on a level that we are not really in control of but as a female our bodies want to get pregnant, I mean that is how we were engineered. When we get our period that is the confirmation to our sex organs that we did not get pregnant again this month so our body kind of has its own little pity party. Again, I want to remind you this is all on a subconscious level we are not incontrol of this and it even happens when consciously we don’t want to get preggers. So back to our vagina having a pitty party about getting our period. Now let's toss into our pity party the feminum supplies that we use to prevent ourselves from bleeding all over our clothes. Our Tampons and pads are filled with crap. I can’t remember the last time I used a pad it had to be before high school but I can remember how itchy, prickly and uncomfortable they were. Tampons are not any better they are bleached and cause toxic shock. Both of them contain toxic ingredients and we are putting them into our bodies and it causes irritation. My personal opinion is that our feminine product combined with the emotional state of our viginas are causing outbreaks. So what can you do to lessen the opportunity for an outbreak when Aunt Flo comes to visit? We can’t really change our vigina’s emotional state but we can change the products we use on her. I have to say I swear by this and love thes products like no other. My first miracle is the THINX period underwear. They are underwear made by menstruating women for menstruating women. They come in all sizes, shapes and colors and they don’t leak. I know this may sound a bit overwhelming but trust me...they will change your life. I have a $10 off your first pair so click here to use the shopping link. Then my other period go to is the diva cup. It is made out of silicone, it is eco friendly and you won't leak. It replaces the use of tampons which is amazing and you save money and you are helping the environment. It is a win win. FYI if you are over 28 or have had a baby order the size 2 the rest of the baby birds will be a size 1 click here. Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join the community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways you can support the Life With Herpes show And if you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you, please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review More Episode Resources * How can I help you? Tell me in a free 15 minute chat! * The Herpes Outbreak Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST) * Join The Life With Herpes Community * Life With Herpes YouTube channel * DoTerra’s essential oils
Life With Herpes Welcome to today’s episode on Life With Herpes, I am always grateful for your to be here, thank you. I love this section on Life With Herpes because I get to connect with you and hear what is going on with your life and your journey with herpes. Today’s question comes from Rosa from Albuquerque, she asks, “is it safe to have a baby when you have herpes”. The short answer is yes, women have been having babies for as long as we know and the herpes virus has been with us the same amount of time. However, there are some things to keep into consideration. One of the things to keep into consideration is where are you with your diagnosis, are you just finding out you have herpes and you are pregnant or have you had herpes for a while and you are pregnant. According to the CDC there are some health risks if you are diagnosed with herpes while you are pregnant. When you are diagnosed with herpes during your pregnancy your body is in OMG Freaking out mode. It is like WTF...I am pregnant, I have this virus and WTF. In fact, it can be quite dangerous if you are diagnosed during your third trimester basically your body does not know how to fight it. The risk of infecting your baby if you are diagnosed late in pregnancy is 30-50%. On the contrary, if have had herpes before you were pregnant then typically your body is capable of protecting your baby. Your body has had time to adjust and acclimate to this new virus that is with you. Needless to say, your body is not like WTF? In this situation, your doctor would most likely prescribe the antiviral for you a couple of weeks prior to your due date. If you don’t have an outbreak during delivery then it will be up to you and your doctor to determine if you want to deliver vaginally. However, if you do have an outbreak then you will have a c-section or a cesarean section. This will prevent your baby coming into contact with the active virus. Thank’s Rosa for asking this great question. I have a lot of potential mommy’s asking this so thanks for submitting your question. Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join the community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways you can support the Life With Herpes show And if you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you, please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review More Episode Resources * How can I help you? Tell me in a free 15 minute chat! * The Herpes Outbreak Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST) * Join The Life With Herpes Community * Life With Herpes YouTube channel * DoTerra’s essential oils
Life With Herpes Thank you for joining us today on the Life With Herpes Show. As always, I am excited you are here and grateful you are here so thank you. Ok...I want to get right to it. I am asked daily how do I prevent passing herpes to my partner. Or I’m asked can I pass herpes to my partner? OR I am asked if I take the antiviral and use a condom can I pass herpes to my partner? First I want to address why we don’t want to give someone herpes. Of course, the main reason is because we don’t want to have the “talk”. Let’s face it, it’s awkward. The other main reason is we don’t want to pass it to someone we love. At the end of the day, we don’t want to pass it so let’s dive in. 3 ways to prevent passing herpes to your partner:
- Education - education = power. The more you educate yourself on the virus the more comfortable you will feel with the situation. You will know how the virus is passed, you will know when you are most contagious, you will know what the best protection method is. Most of all you will be able to answer questions and put out some of the myths that go along with shitty stigma. Some of the best ways you can educate yourself is binge watch the past episodes in youtube, binge listen to this in iTunes, set up 1:1 coaching or you can purchase the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit that I have created. Everything you need to know is here.
- Talk to your partner - I know that this is the hardest one to do. We are scared of the rejection, the embarrassment, the shame and the list goes on. But this is the best thing for you and your partner. Let them know you have educated yourself on herpes and let them know how you know you have an outbreak. At the end of the day, communication is the best thing. This is a conversation you will have to have the rest of your life. Even when you are in a monogamous relationship you will need to tell your partner that you have an outbreak. I know this is hard but in the long run it will help you prevent passing it.
- Use protection - There are a couple of different methods you can use depending on your preference; there are the good old fashioned condoms, female condoms, dental dams and the antiviral. Latex condoms are the best at preventing the transmission. Here are some tips from the CDC on how to use a condom correctly. A female condom is a little different than a male condom, it covers more surface area. The female condom goes inside the vagina and the base of it is left on the exterior of the vagina. Here are some tips from Planned Parenthood on how to correctly use female condoms. And lastly, for performing oral sex on a female it is best dental dams. You can make your own from a condom or female condom by cutting it open or you can purchase them. Here are some tips on how to make your own dental dam from the CDC. It is also recommended in conjunction with latex protection to take an antiviral. This will reduce the chance of having an outbreak (yay) as well as the chance of transmitting it. It is not 100% transmission safe and viral shedding can still occur if you are taking the daily antiviral.
So the bottom line is simple. Educate yourself as much as possible. Have the uncomfortable conversation (just do it). Use latex and an antiviral.
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes
Join the community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there.
Ways you can support the Life With Herpes show And if you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you, please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review
More Episode Resources * How can I help you? Tell me in a free 15 minute chat! * The Herpes Outbreak Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST) * Join The Life With Herpes Community * Life With Herpes YouTube channel * DoTerra’s essential oils
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join the community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways you can support the Life With Herpes show And if you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you, please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review More Episode Resources * How can I help you? Tell me in a free 15 minute chat! * The Herpes Outbreak Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST) * Join The Life With Herpes Community * Life With Herpes YouTube channel * DoTerra’s essential oils
Dealing with your worst possible situation and herpes. Life With Herpes Welcome to today’s episode on Life With Herpes, as always I am humbled that you are here and I am glad we can talk about herpes. Thank you! Today I want to talk about what is worse, having herpes or the perception of having herpes. After talking to you, after doing my own research and of course experiencing this first hand I have come to the conclusion that the perception of having herpes is worse than actually having it. Don’t get me wrong, there are some outbreaks that are really really really painful especially your first outbreak. However, they go away and you go back to your normal life. It is a different story when it comes to the perception of having herpes. The emotional toll and journey that we go through is far worse. Perhaps this is an aha moment for you? The stigma that is placed on us leads to fear, tears, all of our goals dreams are gone, we go into complete shock and the list goes on and on. Depending on your situation you may be wondering where or how you contracted herpes. Basically, our mind plays horrible games in our mind. Then let’s take the mental games that are playing in our head and add this to a social setting. The utter fear of keeping your secret. The utter fear of what if somebody knows plays through your head. I combined the fear of OMG what if someone knew to the mean girl phase. For me it was the 6th grade and man was it tough. I still would be mortified and I emotionally go back to that phase in my life if I had to talk to those girls about having herpes. I know that I have told the world that I have herpes but it is different when you are faced to have that conversation with some of the girls who used to make you cry. Taking herpes aside when I run into them or see their photos on Facebook I am happy for them and genuinely glad to see them but still I wouldn't want to have the conversation with them about having herpes. I wouldn't want the snickering. So I get it. I get the fear. I get the devastation. I get the idea of wanting to crawl into a cave. The bottom line is take your worst possible situation and that far supersedes the emotional pain vs the physical pain. So why is this a big deal? It is the stigma that is associated with having herpes. It’s used to control us or make us feel bad. How do we move through it? We educate ourselves on the virus. And the secret is self love. We learn to love every part of ourself including our herpes. Until we are able to do that the perception will pay a role and control your emotions. Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join the community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways you can support the Life With Herpes show And if you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you, please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review More Episode Resources * How can I help you? Tell me in a free 15 minute chat! * The Herpes Outbreak Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST) * Join The Life With Herpes Community * Life With Herpes YouTube channel * DoTerra’s essential oils
herpes medication, herpes, herpes on lip, herpes zoster, herpes virus, herpes ulcer, herpes symptoms, herpes rash, herpes blisters, herpes treatment, herpes research, herpes outbreak, herpes kissing, herpes genital, genital herpes, herpes blood test,
If you had to pick which one would you pick? [video_player type="youtube" style="1" dimensions="560x315" width="560" height="315" align="center" margin_top="0" margin_bottom="20" ipad_color="black"]aHR0cHM6Ly95b3V0dS5iZS9HVlo5SGhaTFZoUQ==[/video_player] Life With Herpes Welcome to today’s episode on Life With Herpes, as always I am thrilled that you are joining me today. Thank you and welcome. I want to invite you to join our community over on lifewithherpes.com. Let me ask you, would you prefer to have oral herpes or genital herpes? Upon first thought I would say that having genital herpes would be the worst one. It has to do with the stigma that is attached to it. The genital herpes stigma is you are a, slut, trailer trash, you slept around, you are dirty, you are a walking disease, you are a whore, you deserved to get this, you are the scarlet letter and the disgusting stigmas are far to long for me to put in this post. Then when we think of oral herpes there is no stigma that is attached other than the painful blister on your mouth. When you have an oral outbreak people feel bad for you opposed to judging you. Most of the time people contract HSV 1 or oral herpes as kids. We get it from being kissed as a baby or as a kid by our grandparents our parents or even from sharing a juice box on the playground. In other words, people don’t associate sex with oral herpes. So let’s have an open discussion about oral and genital herpes. If you had to pick, which one would you prefer? Oral or Genital?It really is a good question. When I ask myself this question I decided to answer it at different times in my life. Before I was diagnosed with HSV 1 & HSV 2 I would have said neither. Then when I was diagnosed with HSV 1 orally when I was 20 years old I was relieved that it was not genital herpes. And then being diagnosed with HSV 2 I was devastated and wished it never happened. In case you have not listened to the last episodes I talk alot about my oral outbreak. I got an outbreak on my mouth for the second time ever and it was 14 years after my initial diagnosis. I was like WTF?!?!?!? After dealing with the oral outbreak, on my wedding by the way, I realized that I would much much much rather have genital herpes than oral herpes. Mainly, nobody knows you have an outbreak. Really, it is only your business and nobody really needs to know you have an outbreak unless of course you are going to have sex. It was an interesting lesson for me to walk around with this huge outbreak and have shame and disgust meanwhile oral herpes is not associated with shame. It was really interesting. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Let me know, would you rather have oral herpes or genital herpes? And why? Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join the community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways you can support the Life With Herpes show And if you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you, please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review More Episode Resources * How can I help you? Tell me in a free 15 minute chat! * The Herpes Outbreak Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST) * Join The Life With Herpes Community * Life With Herpes YouTube channel * DoTerra’s essential oils
Ask, Answer And Get The Facts About Herpes Life With Herpes Welcome to today’s episode on Life With Herpes. As always, thank you for joining me and spending your time watching/listening/and or reading. I take some time to let you know what is going on in my life. I actually have moved to Las Vegas so if you are watching this you get to see my new kitchen. Thanks for baring with me as I figure out the acoustics, angels and the best location for recording Today I go a little off track and talk about HIV and the link between HIV and herpes. I do want you to know that I am not an expert when it comes to talking about HIV but I want to make sure you are educated on this to prevent yourself from becoming infected or from infecting a partner. What is HIV? HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus and it weakens the infected person's immune system and eventually killing them. When the HIV scare first came out it was an automatic death sentence but now has technology has progressed and we have more knowledge regarding the virus there is a treatment for this. I mean look at Magic Johnson! HIV is spread through bodily fluids such as; blood, semen, pre-seminal fluids, rectal fluids, vaginal fluids, and breast milk. In other words, having unprotected sex with an HIV + partner can infect you with the virus. Here is the link between HIV and herpes and why I wanted to bring it to your attention. As you and I know, genital herpes can cause sores or papercuts like breaks in the skin or on mouth, vagina, and rectum. The genital sores caused by herpes can bleed easily as well as they are open areas for other viruses or bacteria to get in. When the sores come into contact with the mouth, vagina, or rectum during sex, they increase the risk of giving or getting HIV if you or your partner has HIV. So in other words having a herpes outbreak can make you more susceptible to contracting other viruses such as HIV. Make sure you use protection such as a latex condom as well has have a conversation with your partner when it comes to your sexual health. For more information on HIV please visit these websites: * Center of Disease Control (CDC) * Planned Parenthood
Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join the community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways you can support the Life With Herpes show And if you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you, please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review More Episode Resources * How can I help you? Tell me in a free 15 minute chat! * The Herpes Outbreak Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST) * Join The Life With Herpes Community * Life With Herpes YouTube channel * DoTerra’s essential oils
herpes medication, herpes, herpes on lip, herpes zoster, herpes virus, herpes ulcer, herpes symptoms, herpes rash, herpes blisters, herpes treatment, herpes research, herpes outbreak, herpes kissing, herpes genital, genital herpes, herpes blood test,
Herpes, cold sores and outbreaks Life With Herpes Welcome to today’s episode on Life With Herpes, I am always thrilled and humbled that you are here joining me and the other members of the Life With Herpes community. Thank you for being here. If you have not joined our Life With Hepes Community I am going to invite you to do so. Trust me….you will be so happy you joined. Today, I talk about how I am frustrated at how the marketing and PR has played a role in the herpes stigma. Recently I have been talking about oral herpes as I had my second herpes outbreak in 14 years. You can go back a couple of episodes and tune in if you want to hear the entire story. But anyway, I had an outbreak on my mouth. It was painful, embarrassing, and just uncomfortable. I went to the local drug store to buy some supplies like Abreva and some cotton swabs to help treat my outbreak. Upon going to the drugstore I was pissed off. I was speechless when I went to the “herpes” section and I couldn't even find the word herpes. Not to even mention there was nothing for genital herpes. Heaven forbid there is a remedy for genital herpes. Every other word was used to describe herpes like; outbreak, fever blister and cold sore but nobody would call it what it is. Is this not astonishing to you? This just plays into the entire stigma. This is why herpes is so “disgusting” to society. This is why when we are diagnosed we are devastated, lost, heartbroken and crushed. Let me know what you think. Do you see the same thing happening at your drug store? Or am I just super sensitive and fired up about this subject. “As a society we soften the blow when it is oral herpes.” - Alexandra Harbushka Keep in touch with Alexandra Harbushka www.lifewithherpes.com www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka www.facebook.com/lifewithherpespodcast www.pinterest.com/lifewithherpes Join the community If you are ready to join a community of people who are living with herpes also then you will want to join our slack group. It is FREE and it is a great way to find the support and comfort that you are looking for. Head on over to www.lifewithherpes.com and join our community. You will receive a slack invitation as soon as you sign up. See you in there. Ways you can support the Life With Herpes show And if you enjoyed listening to this episode as much as we enjoyed making it for you, please give the Life With Herpes show a review. It is a way to pay it forward to fellow friends who are living with herpes. You can Subscribe, Rate and Review the show through your iTunes app or on the desktop. Seriously, it helps out a lot more than it is a hassle for you. You see, iTunes has an algorithm that organically promotes the show, so the more ratings and reviews the Life With Herpes Show receives then the higher it gets ranked. This is your way of paying it forward and helping someone find the show who really needs it. Oh, and you can totally use a fake name, so don’t worry about a friend finding you in the iTunes review. Talking about herpes needs to be spread as far and wide as possible. You are totally a part of this movement so THANK YOU! Subscribe, Rate and Review More Episode Resources * How can I help you? Tell me in a free 15 minute chat! * The Herpes Outbreak Toolkit (use the promo code PODCAST) * Join The Life With Herpes Community * Life With Herpes YouTube channel * DoTerra’s essential oils