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June 14, 2024 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 138/ Guest: Brendan HansenSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:In this episode of the Mom &… Podcast, hosts Susanne Kerns and Missy Stevens introduce guest Brendan Hansen, a six-time Olympic medalist and renowned swimmer. They discuss Hansen’s illustrious swimming career and accomplishments, including his role as team captain of multiple U.S. Olympic teams. Hansen shares his journey from childhood swimming in Pennsylvania to becoming a leading figure in the sport. The hosts and Hansen delve into parenting insights, emphasizing the importance of water safety, fostering resilience in children, and the significance of maintaining a growth mindset. Hansen also discusses his current role as the Director of Team Services at USA Swimming, and his experiences raising three daughters while advocating for their empowerment and participation in youth sports. The episode wraps up with the hosts and Hansen exchanging personal recommendations in their ‘Look, Listen, Learn’ segment.

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
01:04 Meet Brendan Hansen: Olympic Swimmer
02:44 Brendan’s Early Swimming Journey
05:47 The Importance of Being Coachable
13:18 Growth Mindset and Perseverance
22:47 Challenges in Youth Sports
30:26 Raising Strong-Willed Daughters
32:05 The Rise of Women’s Sports
32:39 Instilling Confidence and Resilience
34:30 Behind the Scenes: Olympic Stories
34:45 The Power of Belief: Katie Ledecky’s Journey
38:28 Engaging Corporate Speeches and Leadership
39:23 Look, Listen, Learn: Personal Insights
45:46 Fun and Educational Family Activities
50:27 Concluding Thoughts and Farewell

Connect With the Mom &… Podcast* Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love? * Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes. * Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things! * Follow our Facebook Page * Join our private Facebook Group (All you have to do is ask to join, and then be nice once you’re in. So easy!) * Follow us on Instagram * Become a patron – check us out on Patreon!

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!The post Coaching, Resilience and Growth Mindset with Olympian Brendan Hansen appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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April 26, 2024 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 95 / Guests: Shellie Hayes-McMahon and Crystal Mason

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Show Summary

This episode originally ran on March 25, 2022. Last month, Crystal was finally acquitted. In the words of her attorney:

“Crystal and her family have suffered for over six years as the target of a vanity project by Texas political leaders. We’re happy that the court saw this for the perversion of justice that it is, but the harm that this political prosecution has done to shake Americans’ confidence in their own franchise is incalculable.”

Defense Attorney, Alison Grinter Allen

It’s election year y’all. Know your rights, and remember what a privilege it is to vote.

Shellie Hayes-McMahon and Crystal Mason joined us this week to talk about advocacy and education around voter’s rights and voter suppression. On the Mom &… Podcast we frequently talk about how much influence moms have, and this week’s guests are two incredible examples of this influence.

We talked about convoluted laws and complicated processes that make it difficult – and often impossible – for all people to vote. Crystal shared her story of being arrested and jailed for casting a provisional ballot. Shellie encouraged us to get involved at a local level, to learn the laws and rules, and listen to women of color. She implored us to educate ourselves and then speak out. We talked about ways to get involved – starting with voting – and eliminate voter suppression and voter intimidation.

This episode left us reeling, and more than a little angry. And yet, we are encouraged by advocates and champions like Shellie and Crystal. Change is not going to come easily, but if enough of us speak up (and… vote!), change can happen.

Topics From This Episode

Voter suppression
Voter intimidation
Voting laws
Polling place workers and rules
Anti-racism
LGBTQIA+ friendly legislation
Importance of school boards

Look, Listen, Learn

Susanne

Rachel Maddow’s breakdown of Pamela Moses’s case
John Oliver on Critical Race Theory

Shellie

The Cross Connection with Tiffany Cross
The ReidOut with Joy-Ann Reid
Jonathan Capehart, The Washington Post
Black Food by Bryant Terry

Missy

Kween Werk

More about Shellie

Shellie is a fierce advocate for women from all walks of life stepping into roles of power. Currently Executive Director – Finance and Operations at Planned Parenthood Texas Votes. Shellie was Director of Operations for Annie’s List, is Co- President for Political Action of Black Austin Democrats, Senior Advisor and Treasurer for the Williamson County Democratic Party and a Williamson County Precinct Chair. Shellie sits on the board of Big Brothers Big Sisters Central Texas and the Barbara Jordan Leadership Institute. She is a 2020 Leadership Austin Graduate, 2020-21 NLC Mentor, and an Ordained Minister. Shellie is a frequent political contributor for Pink Granite and The Rabble. Before joining Planned Parenthood Texas Votes Shellie spent 30 years in Management, as well as running for office in 2018. Her belief is that the most vulnerable in our society must be protected and the best way to do that is by electing more pro-choice, progressive women to office.

More About Crystal

Crystal Mason is the founder of “Crystal Mason The Fight” foundation. The foundation is dedicated to fighting against voter suppression. She has a personal story of trials, tribulation and triumph, and through that story, she has become the face of Voter’s Suppression. In

2016, Crystal did what any noble American would do: she cast her vote at the ballot box hoping to be the change that she wants to see. Instead, she was given a five-year prison sentence after casting a provisional ballot that was ultimately rejected. Crystal is adored by her family, friends and colleagues. She is a mother, grandmother, and successful business owner. If asked who she is, Crystal will tell you, “I am a rehabilitated felon that believes

in second chances.”

About Crystal Mason The Fight

Crystal’s foundation is dedicated to helping felons who are transitioning back into the world. Specifically, Crystal’s goal is to offer education and guidance as it relates to voting rights. Crystal wants to ensure that all people know when they can vote, why they need to vote, and the importance of voting. Crystal helps teach people the importance of understanding who they are voting for, and having a good grasp on policy interpretation. Crystal’s motto in this fight is: “You are not defined by the word felon. You have a voice and with Crystal Mason the Fight your voice will be heard.”

Connect With the Mom &… Podcast

Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.
Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
Follow our Facebook Page
Join our private Facebook Group (All you have to do is ask to join, and then be nice once you’re in. So easy!)
Follow us on Instagram
Become a patron – check us out on Patreon!

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!

Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript available upon request.

The post Voting Rights: Why You Need to Know Crystal Mason’s Story appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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April 3, 2024 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 136 / Guest: Charleen WhippleSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:In this episode of the Mom &… Podcast, hosts Missy Stevens and Susanne Kerns dive into a comprehensive discussion about wellness practices, with a special focus on acupuncture and Eastern medicine. Their guest, Charleen Whipple, a native of Colorado with an extensive background in sports medicine, nutrition, and Chinese medicine, shares her journey from being a competitive dancer to founding The Point Wellness in Round Rock, Texas. Charleen educates on the benefits of acupuncture, debunking myths around the practice and explaining how it can aid in treating various health concerns including anxiety, inflammation, and pain. The discussion also covers managing a brick-and-mortar health business, the synergy between different wellness practices, and the accessibility of alternative medicine through health insurance. Furthermore, the hosts and Charleen explore topics like the impact of ‘tech neck’ on children, managing staff in a wellness setting, and the personal touches that make wellness treatments more approachable, such as the use of panic buttons during acupuncture sessions. The episode also touches on personal and professional development through courses, the importance of supportive communities in business, and the broad application of wellness practices for both physical and mental health improvements.

Topics From This Episode:* 00:15 Spring Break Adventures and Changes * 01:07 Introducing Charlene Whipple: A Journey into Acupuncture * 03:06 Demystifying Acupuncture: Does It Hurt? * 06:26 Acupuncture for Everyone: Beyond Pain Relief * 18:34 The Business of Wellness: Starting and Running a Clinic * 21:26 Navigating the Challenges of Small Business Ownership * 26:34 Managing a Team: Lessons Learned the Hard Way * 28:35 Spring Promotions and Cryotherapy Treatments * 29:24 Personal Experiences with Cryotherapy * 30:28 Finding a Trusted Practitioner * 31:30 Acupuncture and Wellness Journeys * 33:34 Look, Listen, Learn Segment: What We’re Into This Week * 50:45 Closing Thoughts and Goodbyes

Look, Listen, LearnsMissy:

Somebody Feed Phil, latest season on Netflix
Resident Alien, SyFy (on Netflix and Peacock)
Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt

Charleen:

Succession
Watching her daughter learn something new (cheerleading)
Binaural Beats
Huberman Podcast (Host notes: since recording this episode, Andrew Huberman has been the subject of an article in New York Magazine, claiming he has some credibility issues.)
Cold Plunging

Susanne:

Adrenal Transformation Protocol by Izabella Wentz
Listening to too many news podcasts
Paymo

More About Charleen Whipple:Born and raised in Denver, Colorado, Charleen emerged from a tight-knit Italian family, where communal bonds were as strong as the Rocky Mountain air. Beginning her journey in competitive dance at 5, she continued this passion through college, pursuing dual Bachelor of Science degrees in Sports Medicine and Nutrition at Colorado State University, while also dancing with the Colorado Eagles along the way. Following graduation, Charleen followed her calling into holistic healing, earning a degree in Chinese medicine from Colorado Chinese Medicine University in 2012. Launching her entrepreneurial path in Denver, she later resettled in Austin, Texas, where she honed her practice within a chiropractic clinic, amidst milestones like marriage and motherhood. In 2021, Charleen’s dream clinic became a reality, marking the culmination of years of dedication, and today, she remains poised for the future with gratitude and anticipation.

Connect with Charleen Whipple:* Website * Facebook * Instagram

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

[00:00:00] Missy: Welcome to the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. The podcast that helps you make your ellipses count. You know, all those dot, dot, dots that come after I’m a mom. And I’m Missy Stevens, mom and dot, dot, dot writer, foster child advocate, and this week’s spring break prepper.

It’s our last spring break with two kiddos living at home. Crazy,

[00:00:29] Susanne: And it’s our first spring break with just the one kiddo. And

[00:00:36] Missy: And now we’re sad.

[00:00:38] Susanne: I’m Suzanne Kearns, mom and dot, dot, dot, writer, LGBTQ and sex ed advocate. And this week I’ve been so busy with work that I forgot that it is spring break next week. And we are doing. Just the one kiddo dragging him along because we spent all of our spring break budget on sending Zoe to L.

A. with her roommate For an awesome week, so the rest of us are going to Marfa. We’re going to Marfa and Big

[00:01:06] Missy: One of my favorite trips ever was Big Bend. Yeah, I will have to talk when we aren’t on the clock and I loved it so much.

[00:01:13] Susanne: Okay, I’m gonna get notes

[00:01:15] Missy: Yeah, I’m so, so excited this week to talk to our guest and full disclosure, I talk to Charlene all the time because her therapist and Charlene have been instrumental in getting me back into fighting shape.

so I get to see her at least once a week, but now we all get to talk to her today. And I’m so thrilled for her to share her knowledge with all of us. Charlene Whipple is a native of Colorado and she attended Colorado State University and studied sports medicine and nutrition. And then she later went on to go to the Colorado Chinese Medicine University, where she graduated in 2012.

And now for the last three years, we’ve gotten to have her here in Round Rock, where she owns the Point Wellness. And we will talk all about that as we go on today. Welcome.

[00:01:58] Susanne: Welcome you. Excited to be here. Oh, well, so excited. And I, I, this is my first time meeting you. I don’t get to see you every week. So I definitely need, and our audience needs, a Charlene 101. So can you tell us a little bit about your career path and how you got to where you are today?

[00:02:16] Charleen: Yes. So I actually always have been in the sports world. I was a competitive dancer growing up, grew up in a family of all boys, with cousins and all of that. So sports has always been my passion. And so when I graduated from Colorado State with sports medicine, I ventured into, do I want to go into PT, OT, chiropractic, and nothing really held my interest until I talked with my current acupuncturist that I was seeing at the time and just fell in love with Chinese medicine and the fact that I can treat the entire body, not just the physical ailments that were going on.

It’s a mind, body, spirit. and started acupuncture school, which was actually a lot more difficult than I ever imagined. so did that and started in Denver. And then my husband and I moved down here in 2013. So I’ve been practicing. I did a solo practice for about seven years. And then in 21, my husband pushed me to open my dream clinic.

And we have been open here for about three years now.

[00:03:14] Susanne: Very cool.

[00:03:15] Missy: So you mentioned that you had an acupuncturist who piqued your interest in all of this and the word acupuncture, I think freaks people out. So I wanted to talk a little bit about what it is. Why it works and does it hurt? Because I do it every week. I know the answers to a lot of these questions because I do it every week or every other week.

but when I tell people I do it, they’re like, Oh my God, that sounds so painful. So I want to talk a little bit about the why behind it and what it is, if you can share that with us.

[00:03:45] Charleen: Absolutely. And I’ll share a little bit on the eastern side and the western side because sometimes when people hear the eastern side of acupuncture and Chinese medicine, it gets a little woo woo for them, a little out there, but there is a good

science behind it that people can actually understand. And it’s a little bit tangible.

So the theory and the basis behind Chinese medicine is that the body can heal itself. We have everything that we need to, to heal ourself. We just have obstruction. Those obstructions can be physical, they can be mental, they can be emotional. So our job is to identify those obstructions and break them free.

Let the body do what it needs to do. And we do that with a number of things, whether it’s cupping for muscle stuff or acupuncture for the internal. We also work with Chinese medicine and herbs. So there’s a whole array of things that we can do. So a typical session is usually when an acupuncturist or Chinese medical doctor will identify what’s going on based off of your symptoms and all of that.

And we usually start out with some muscle work, some palpation, all of that to see where everything is stuck. And then we use acupuncture needles. So I always like to tell people, I actually did this experiment in school because I didn’t believe them, but you can fit 30 acupuncture needles in one hyperdermic needle that a doctor would use.

So that kind of gives you a gauge on

how big the needles are.

[00:05:03] Susanne: heh.

[00:05:04] Missy: tiny.

[00:05:05] Charleen: so they’re super teeny tiny. You can actually bend the needles. They’re not stiff enough or thick enough that they’re, you know, you can’t bend them. They are pliable. So they are super tiny. And most of the time when we do a traditional treatment with acupuncture, you might feel a tiny pinch when the needle goes in, but after that you shouldn’t feel anything.

And most of our patients, Missy, if you can attest to this, most of our patients fall asleep on the table. So. Yeah, it’s very relaxing. It’s a very like it works with the energy. So when we talk the eastern, it helps with the energy blockages, helps open everything up, allow the body to heal and do what it needs to.

From a western side that people can attribute a little bit more knowledge, some tangible too, is when you puncture the skin with a needle, you are actually creating what we call a micro injury. So you are injuring the body. That puts the body into a healing process. So you’re creating a micro injury. It actually takes your body out of fight or flight.

shuts off that sympathetic nervous system and puts it into parasympathetic so that the body can heal. Now that is one of the hardest things for people to do nowadays just with our society with everything go go go is a lot of people can’t shut off that fight or flight system and acupuncture actually forces the body to do that.

So that’s one of the ways that it helps the healing process is it actually forces the body to shut off fight or flight because you’ve now created an injury. So now it’s going to go into the restaurant store to help that body.

[00:06:33] Susanne: Oh, interesting. Okay. So I usually typically think of acupuncture of like, okay, I have something that hurts here, or it’s something that you’re trying to heal or recovery. But say you’re just one of those people where everything feels pretty good, but

[00:06:48] Charleen: Does that person exist?

[00:06:50] Susanne: yeah, exactly. But like aches and pains wise, you’re in good shape, but maybe anxiety or just like you said, they’re just a person who lives in the world and, you know, has that fight or flight.

So that is something that you don’t necessarily have to have, like an acute pain or something specific, an injury that you’re treating.

[00:07:12] Charleen: Absolutely. And those are some of my favorite treatments or what we call maintenance treatments. You’re coming in just to keep everything nice and open and relax and take your mind off of stuff for an hour. And yeah, so definitely for stress and anxiety. I’ve been diagnosed with high functioning anxiety since I was 18, and it’s something that I can tell like when my body gets to that point, like I just need to shut off that nervous system so that my body can do what it needs to do and bring everything out of fight or flight.

[00:07:39] Susanne: Ooh, can you acupuncture yourself?

[00:07:41] Charleen: You can. you can. And I do regularly. I have two acupuncturists that work with me, but there are times that I just need to do. And one of the good systems for people who are anxious about acupuncture is called a regular acupuncture. So it’s actually all done in the ear. So you don’t have to lay down.

You don’t have to be still. Cause some people are like, I can’t lay there for an hour, but you can actually do a full acupuncture treatment with just the ear,

[00:08:06] Susanne: Okay, now that might sound even scarier to people. Are you, like, putting the needles in the, like, where, where

[00:08:10] Charleen: just like on the side, like right in here, it just goes on

the outside. So not in the ear.

But where you would get piercings, I’m sorry, where you would get piercings, you can actually do acupuncture.

[00:08:20] Susanne: Okay, I just wanted to clarify that for anybody who’s like, and what you can do is you can put them in your eyeball. Oh, that’s very interesting. Okay, because yeah, that might be for some people who are a little hesitant. Yeah, that laying down is kind of a submissive position. If you’re like, no, I still kind of feel in control. If you’re seated and kind of do that baby step.

[00:08:42] Missy: And Charlene gives you a panic button when you’re lying down. So, like, before she leaves the room, she tucks this little button under my hand, and I’m always afraid I’m accidentally going to do it, because I have never once panicked. I mean, I check completely out, it’s an out of body experience. I am not in the room with myself when it’s going on, but I’m always afraid I’m going to accidentally, like, fall asleep and twitch and hit that button.

But you do have a panic button if you are worried about lying there with needles in you.

[00:09:08] Susanne: No, any treatment that involves lying down, I’m all for.

[00:09:12] Charleen: Yes.

[00:09:13] Susanne: I might just book an appointment just to come take a nap on your table. That would be

[00:09:17] Charleen: Just a nap pod.

[00:09:19] Missy: I’ve been begging for the treatment plus nap package so that when my treatment is over, then I can just sleep for like 20 or 30 minutes because it’s so relaxing.

[00:09:28] Susanne: Oh, I’m going to have to try it. And I definitely, yeah. I’m curious, well we’ll probably have to talk afterwards, my mom’s been having a lot of trouble with sciatica and she’s tried just about everything else and I feel like, let’s try one more thing.

[00:09:43] Charleen: Absolutely.

[00:09:44] Susanne: so aside from the acupuncture, you’ve got the massage services also?

And what, what else could, what else could we take advantage of there? Are those the primary buckets?

[00:09:55] Charleen: we actually have, so we have acupuncture and massage. We have manual stretching. Then we have a cranial sacral and Reiki therapist. We have an infrared sauna and we have a cold plunge.

[00:10:08] Susanne: Oh my gosh, cool.

[00:10:10] Charleen: And then we do have another company that works with us that does all the vitamin injections, vitamin IVs, Botox fillers, the whole shebang.

So they’re a little bit separate, but they’re out of our clinic.

[00:10:21] Susanne: So how does that work then if someone is just like, something’s not right, I don’t even know what it is. Do you do an initial evaluation, decide what’s, what mix of all those things they need?

[00:10:32] Charleen: yeah, people can come in and just schedule an initial consult. I’ve done them over the phone, I’ve done them via email. And they’re like, you know, I have this problem going on. Can you tell me the best route? And those usually go through me just because I know everybody’s specialty, all of that, and then I kind of help them decide.

And sometimes it’s a combination of, you know, start here, let’s see how you respond to that treatment, and then we’ll move to X, Y, Z.

[00:10:57] Susanne: you’ve got two of us, we, we only fit one demographic of the 50 ish year old women, the menopause ladies, uh, we’ve got all different ages that listen, but I’m curious if you at this day and age what common things are you seeing in patients or do you call them patients clients? What, how do you refer to them. Okay.

[00:11:19] Charleen: don’t have a specific term. So we do work. A lot of our patients are injury related or pain. crossfitters are a big part of our clientele, people that work out anything weightlifting. we do get a lot of post surgery patients. To help with swelling, lymphedema, we take care of all of that.

sadly we have a lot of kiddos that are now starting to come in with neck and shoulder pain. Just the phones, the computers, all of this is

[00:11:48] Susanne: Oh my goodness.

[00:11:51] Charleen: we have coined a new term called Tech Neck. It’s that, you know, everything being forward, the kids are starting to get a little bit more of that hump earlier and earlier.

so we have started working with kids earlier and earlier on, neck and shoulder pain and also anxiety. Anxiety has been a huge KickUp, I would say over the last like five to six years.

[00:12:11] Missy: I bet.

[00:12:12] Susanne: Probably, yeah, probably for all age groups.

[00:12:15] Missy: Yeah. I feel like some of us are starting to feel it creep back up again, right about now. Oh,

[00:12:20] Susanne: as I’m like, Oh, does my kid have a tech neck?

[00:12:24] Charleen: It’s, you know, but it’s everybody. Now, you know, when you say you don’t have pain, I guarantee you everybody has some type of neck and shoulder tightness just because everything we do is forward.

The computers, the phones, even when we sit, a lot of times if you’re stressed in tension, your shoulders naturally come forward.

[00:12:42] Susanne: Yep.

[00:12:42] Missy: this and I feel myself like trying to

[00:12:44] Susanne: I know. I’m like, Oh,

[00:12:46] Missy: I’m like, cause I’m sitting here kind of hunched over.

[00:12:48] Susanne: know, I was just talking to some friends about this. And I think, I don’t know if it’s a woman thing, or if it’s a women with double D cup thing. But, I mean, I think I’ve also done that besides the tech, besides the stress, because it feels really weird as a woman to be like, here they are, here they are, world, and I, I don’t know. It’s, it’s just a weird thing to stand with correct posture. You feel like you’re posing, but I did just go and, uh, one of my friends was going back to work after maternity leave. So we celebrated with a little spa day and I got a massage. And that lady was, she probably needed a massage after my massage.

She literally, it was the first time someone ever got up on the table. And like, she was like kneeling on my butt and doing stuff. Uh, I needed to recover from it the next day, but she was saying that very much. She’s like, I can tell you are

[00:13:46] Charleen: forward.

[00:13:47] Susanne: doing this. And granted, there’s probably, I could list 20 things that do that, but mostly as I’m walking throughout the day, it is just because I don’t know, growing up, we were.

Not necessarily taught to just be like, yeah, throw those shoulders back and get the girls out kind of thing. So, I don’t know, I guess put them

[00:14:07] Missy: know. I think women, a lot of times we make ourselves small

[00:14:11] Susanne: Mm hmm.

[00:14:12] Missy: for whatever reason. That’s probably different reasons for all of us, but something about us doesn’t want to take up space and it’s just something we have to unlearn. Like take up the space and if you got double D’s, let them have their space. I want to talk a little bit about this. I mentioned this to you, Charlene. We can’t talk about services like this without talking about the great privilege it is to be able to get them.

Like, I feel very fortunate that I have access to this. you take insurance. which is amazing. So my insurance covers some of it. I have this crazy high deductible plan, so it covers less of it at the moment. But last year, when I had a major surgery, my treatments at the point were free for a while to me.

so that is a privilege. I have that insurance. I’m able to utilize it. I’m able to pay the copay that I need to pay right now. Are you seeing trends where Western medicine is starting to embrace these kinds of treatments and more people will have access through insurance? are there ways out there for someone who maybe doesn’t have the greatest insurance to find some sort of care like this?

[00:15:21] Charleen: So unfortunately, it is a slow go with insurance companies covering it, but they are even in the 10 years that I’ve been in practice more and more insurance companies are covering it and one of the big forefront leaders is Medicare and a lot of insurance companies go off of Medicare guidelines.

Now, Medicare does cover acupuncture now, but here’s the kicker.

They don’t cover it if it’s done by an acupuncturist. So there’s, we have lobbyists that are working, to overcome that, but Medicare is now covering acupuncture, which means everything else will start to fall in line. and become more available. The VA now has acupuncturists on staff, and we all know the VA is horrible about timely manner and getting people the care that they need.

So the VA is now starting to contract out to other acupuncturists that can take TriWest and TriCare. So although it is a slow process, we are making a lot of headway for that to become available to more people. And if they can’t afford a our treatments or more one hour treatments with an individual so they are on the pricier end, there are a lot of acupuncturists and we’re going to incorporate this into our clinic hopefully by the summer where you can find community acupuncture places.

So these are places where it’s not as You can’t do all the cupping and all the other stuff that we do in a one on one treatment, but you would walk into a setting where there’s like anywhere from five to six chairs set up and all the acupuncture is done elbows down and knees down and we can do the acupuncture in a group setting.

So then you’re not charged as much because the acupuncturist can make up that revenue because they’re treating six people at once.

So a lot of those are done on a sliding scale.

[00:17:09] Susanne: So it’s almost more like a mani pedi setup where you’re all in this communal area. Interesting.

[00:17:16] Charleen: So there are

clinics like that, um, where you can make it more affordable, but we are making headway. It’s just really slow.

[00:17:24] Missy: Yeah. Yeah. So I want to go back to this just briefly because this is not a podcast about insurance, but insurance drives me bananas. Um, if Medicare is not covering acupuncture done by an acupuncturist, where are they, what do they want people to do? What, what are they

[00:17:40] Charleen: are there are chiropractors that are trained in acupuncture.

And there are MDs that are trained in acupuncture, so they are actually Medicare providers, so they can bill.

[00:17:50] Missy: Oh,

[00:17:52] Charleen: the thing is, I actually cannot, like, to bill Medicare, not to get too detailed, but you actually have to have, like, a certain ID number.

I can’t even apply for an ID number, because acupuncturists can’t be providers through Medicare.

[00:18:04] Susanne: Got it.

[00:18:05] Charleen: So, it’s a whole, a whole thing. And it breaks my heart, because those are some of the people that need acupuncture the

most.

[00:18:11] Susanne: Yes.

[00:18:12] Missy: And I’ve just learned how much Medicare is driving other, like I had to get compression garments and it was all messed up. I don’t have Medicare, but Medicare changed something and all the other companies are following suit and everything’s a disaster. And anyway, it’s someone I’m sure has a podcast about health insurance and we need to go listen to it because it’s freaking mess.

Oh,

[00:18:39] Susanne: get me started. I’m very interested about this.

I was going to ask just about starting a business, like a brick and mortar business, because I’d still want to talk about that. But as someone who has a daughter who’s very interested in maybe pursuing physical therapy or this round and very interested in health and all these health and wellness, very curious how one becomes an acupuncturist or anything around Eastern medicine.

[00:19:06] Charleen: absolutely. So there are Austin actually has a school down in north Austin for acupuncture. But it is like I said, it was a lot more intense than I actually planned on going back to school for. But our curriculum that I went through in Colorado is a three year, 3. 5 year program all year round. So it is nine trimesters.

And with that, you learn all the acupuncture points, all the Chinese massage, all the herbs, treatment protocols, diagnosis. We actually have to learn, um, pharmacology also to make sure none of our herbs interact with medications that people are taking

and the counteractions of all of those. But yeah, it is an intense school.

It’s a university. So it’s not a bachelor’s degree, but you have to have certain prereqs done. In order to go and then it is full on three and a half years and that includes your clinicals though. So we did do clinical rotations and so that does include your clinicals.

[00:20:05] Missy: It’s amazing when you go in and say, so this hurts and also Charlene’s amazingly patient because I never walk in and say, well, it’s my shoulder. It’s tight right here. I’m always like, well, my shoulder’s tight right here and I’m not sleeping and I have a lot of anxiety and I’m also a little constipated and I feel sort of tight, you know, like I list a thousand things and she’s like, we got it.

[00:20:23] Susanne: And she probably touches a part of your elbow and is like, it’s all right there.

[00:20:28] Missy: Right. And she will put a needle somewhere. And I, I have at times felt something somewhere else in my body at that moment, but more often than not, I leave there and I’m like, Oh, Oh, like this place that was tight is loosened up and there wasn’t necessarily a needle there. So it’s really fascinating at what understanding of how things are all connected.

[00:20:49] Susanne: is all connected. Okay. So that, okay. So that’s how you start to. pursue a career, but, it’s one thing to have the degree or to have the certification and then to actually start a business. So, I mean, especially this is not something you can do virtually. You can’t do tele, I mean, you can do the consultation like you said, but this is definitely hands on.

AI is not going to be taking your job anytime soon. Um, so. What is that process like? That’s so intimidating to me. Anytime we talked in the last episode about signing a lease for my daughter’s apartment next year, and even that I got a little tense about. So what is it? What does that look like when you’re starting a brick and mortar business?

[00:21:35] Charleen: So starting that is, I would say the first thing you have to do is always have your support system and that’s not necessarily a business support system. It’s everything on the personal side because it is more work than you could ever imagine. And it takes a lot of energy. And if you don’t have that support system, I can tell you right now in the three years that we’ve been open here, I’ve wanted at least shut down two or three times.

[00:21:58] Susanne: Yeah.

[00:21:59] Charleen: And so it’s a lot. So that support system is the biggest piece for me, having that, but really looking for the demographic that you want to work with, where they are situated and then especially this clinic that I opened. So when I was at the chiropractic office, it was just me. I rented one room. I didn’t have any crazy overhead and it helps that I was able to build the business like that.

And then when I opened this clinic, my clientele literally just followed me down the road. but, you know, like you said, with the apartment lease, I was locked into a three year lease here.

And, you know, I’m downtown Round Rock. My rent for my building is three times the amount of my mortgage.

[00:22:44] Susanne: Yeah.

[00:22:45] Missy: Yeah.

[00:22:45] Charleen: is terrifying.

[00:22:46] Missy: It’s terrifying.

[00:22:48] Charleen: it is terrifying, but really looking for, you know, to get started is where do you want to be? What’s the clientele you want to work with? And then really finding out the logistic of like, how much room do you actually need? Because you can start too small and outgrow the space too quickly, or you can start too big and then, you know, have to pay for overhead that you’re not using.

So that’s really fine tuning, working with someone who’s done a brick and mortar business before in that industry or in a similar industry to help you get a grasp on. all of that, but it’s terrifying and find a coach, find a coach, find a coach, find a coach.

[00:23:28] Missy: Yes. We want to talk about that. How did you find a coach?

What did you look for?

[00:23:32] Charleen: one of the big things for me was, you know, I needed a coach that didn’t necessarily have the skills that I did. I don’t need somebody to tell me how to do acupuncture. I needed somebody to help me structure my business, what type of clinic I was looking for.

And then also somewhere that I still fail. And I’m working on is the social media. I am not good at social media. I am not consistent with it. I am not knowledgeable about it. And so that’s kind of where that came into play. And also somebody that’s

[00:24:03] Missy: I don’t relate to that at all.

[00:24:05] Charleen: yeah,

[00:24:07] Missy: at the social media.

[00:24:08] Susanne: I did a pose today, Missy. It looks like someone’s grandma did it. Anyway,

[00:24:15] Charleen: so really just finding somebody or a coach that excels somewhere where you’re like. so for me, that was Shailene and Brock’s Marketing Impact Academy, talking about finding your niche, honing in on that, looking for your ideal clientele and expanding from there. Because like I said, I didn’t need the acupuncture help.

I needed the building, the clientele, and the practice, and the social media help.

[00:24:40] Susanne: So what does that coaching, the cadence of that look like? Is it really heavy up front? And then you have like a maintenance that you meet with them on a regular basis, or are they a regular part of your life? How does that work?

[00:24:53] Charleen: So, regular part of my life, but a lot of their academy and their clinics are all done virtually at your own pace. So there are times when I have downtime that I’ll go through several classes and courses and then I do like that I can go back and revisit when I need to, but then definitely the weekly check ins, the monthly check ins, you know, all of that that can be tailored to what I’m working on at the time.

[00:25:18] Missy: And they help with things like the financial side of it. I can’t just, just this idea of having to bill and get people to pay you and deal with insurance and plan that out so that you have the money you need to pay your rent on this three year lease. Like, did someone walk you through all of that?

[00:25:35] Charleen: So not necessarily the business coach and that, and I hate to say it, but a lot of that’s been trial and error, and I’ve learned the hard way over the last 10 years. Um, my brother and my mom were both accountants. So I had some guidance on that, but I learned the old school way by trial and error, and I still to this day, I’m like, why, why am I doing this on my own?

Who’s letting me do this on my own? So,

[00:26:02] Susanne: That reminds me, our taxes are due this week, Missy. I need to do that. So, who was it that we just had on? Well, we didn’t just have on. We just released the episode for recently that was talking about fractional CE, no, fractional CFOs. Um, so that’s probably similarly. I mean, you have the business coach for certain things, but then have this more of the accounting support.

So it takes a village. It takes a village of professionals. Oh, so I was curious it sounds like it’s been. it’s been a real roller coaster. what are some lessons that like looking back, you wish you had known or that you had done differently?

[00:26:42] Charleen: one of the big things that I still struggle with to this day is when I did my own thing, it was just me for seven years. That was my business. I had no knowledge or preparedness for managing a team. And that is probably what I still struggle with to this day. So depending on what your business is going to look like, taking those steps to learn, I did not do enough education.

I did not do enough prep on what it would take to actually manage a team. I thought everybody would come in and do their job. No big deal, you know, and that is not the case whatsoever. So

that I wish I had more. Forewarning of,

[00:27:27] Susanne: Yeah, I don’t think you’re alone. Love, I think it was Lovey A. J. Is that, what’s her name? You know, Lovey

[00:27:33] Missy: Lovey,

[00:27:34] Susanne: So I think it was Lovey that I saw a post from yesterday that it was, I’ll have to share it.

It was basically she said, sometime I’m going to write a book that captures. Over the years, the tens of thousands of dollars that I have lost from employees that did not, you know, they didn’t sign the thing right, or they didn’t check the box, or they didn’t do this, or they left some client engagements, you know, in a bad situation that ended up harming the business.

And just people who don’t care for your business as much as you do, which I mean, I guess is natural. It’s your baby. But, you’re not alone and she’s like smarty pants, knows everything, millions of followers, writes all these books and you know, it still happens to her. So yeah, I can imagine for any small business owner, managing a team like that can be a real challenge.

[00:28:28] Charleen: Absolutely.

[00:28:29] Susanne: Oh my goodness.

[00:28:30] Missy: but we do want for, I know that some people are listening and they are too far away to take advantage of this. So we recommend finding someone in your community that has these services, but for people who can.

Absolutely. Get to Round Rock or live in Round Rock. Do you have any promotions or events that are coming up that you want to share with our audience?

[00:28:48] Charleen: we do. So right now, for the start of spring, we are running a promotion that is $60 for any 60 minute treatment at our office. So for a one hour treatment, we’re doing it at $60. And then we just launched a huge campaign last week that we are bringing in an amazing therapist that is going to work on cryotherapy toning.

So it is a permanent fat loss using cryotherapy. So there’s no downtime, there’s no surgery, anything like that. Just helping people if they want to lose a couple inches before summer. Um, and it’s a pretty cool treatment and it also helps with body inflammation and all of that good stuff. So we are launching that.

And we have some specials going on with that as well.

[00:29:33] Missy: Yeah. And if it sounds like voodoo magic, I did it. I took advantage of a entry price and did a session and I lost two inches around my waist. Two. Yes,

[00:29:45] Susanne: Where does this stuff go?

[00:29:47] Missy: I don’t know. You pee it out, basically, right, Charlene? Basically, you’re just The fat cells, you flush them out.

[00:29:53] Charleen: Yeah. So you actually, when you freeze them, you create damage to the fat cells and then it creates what I call fat trash. And then your body with a lymphatic drainage with leaves and infrared sauna, a vibration plate that your lymphatic system helps to flush all those out.

[00:30:10] Susanne: Oh, I want to

[00:30:11] Missy: crazy, so I’m saving up my dollars so I can do the whole, like, the whole, it’s multiple treatments. But yeah, I did an intro thing and thought It was amazing and it’s short, it takes no time and it sounds like it would be really cold and it’s not, it’s not not cold, uh, but it doesn’t last very long.

So it’s not miserable. You’re not uncomfortable during it before you know it, it’s over.

[00:30:35] Susanne: Oh my gosh. Okay. So now I have, I have another question for people who are outside of our area. what should people be looking for when they are looking for a practitioner? to make sure, I mean, is there some seal of approval or accreditation or certification that they should be making sure people have?

Okay.

[00:30:55] Charleen: Absolutely. So, um, besides three states, Texas being one of them because Texas likes to be an oddball, most

states require that the acupuncturist is nationally certified. So, we usually have a national certification and then usually have a state or local certification. So, definitely making sure that your acupuncturist is nationally certified and all that you can look up online.

You know, you can go to the National Acupuncture Association and search for a practitioner and make sure that their license is valid.

[00:31:26] Susanne: Great.

[00:31:27] Missy: very good advice. You don’t want to go to a quack. I mean, even though the needles are tiny, you still don’t want somebody who doesn’t know what they’re doing, just randomly sticking them.

[00:31:37] Susanne: Oh my gosh. Well, this, okay. I think I might be being converted. I’m kind of, I’m not necessarily afraid of needles, but I’m just afraid of, I’m afraid of the unknown.

[00:31:47] Missy: Right.

[00:31:47] Susanne: Yes. So this is, this has calmed a lot of fears. I think I’m ready to give it a try. And I don’t even necessarily have anything that hurts except for my crippling anxiety and just like, and dealing with life.

But other than that, um,

[00:32:03] Missy: it’s been instrumental in my sleep improving,

[00:32:05] Susanne: Oh, Ooh.

[00:32:07] Missy: my sleep improvement has been a slow and steady process, but I think this has really been part of it. And I, for the longest time, I wasn’t having trouble falling asleep, but I was having trouble staying asleep.

And. Yes, I still wake up, but I wake up and just sort of assess that like, it’s still nighttime. I’ve got to go back to sleep and I’m back to sleep, which is amazing. Amazing. And I think this is part of it. Like, so it can do, you don’t have to be hurting to go in. Like there’s a lot of your body systems that need a little tweaking now and then,

[00:32:36] Susanne: Mm hmm.

[00:32:37] Missy: acupuncture is a great way to do it.

And then of course, at the point you can also follow that up with, I sit in the sauna sometimes, which feels amazing. I fell asleep in there yesterday as a matter of fact. I

[00:32:49] Susanne: I’m sensing a theme.

[00:32:51] Missy: know, I mean, it’s awfully hot to fall asleep, but I had, it’s Bluetooth connected. And so I put on the book I’m listening to and, yeah, I woke up and thought, wait, how did he get there?

What happened? What, what’s

[00:33:02] Susanne: my gosh. That’s me. That’s like when I was reading over a story and I was like, how did anybody, everybody end up in the top of a tree? I don’t know.

[00:33:09] Missy: I was really like, wait, we’re driving where now to do what? I don’t know. I’ve got to go back and figure out how that happened. Um, but yeah, there’s all these other things going on at the point that, Um, kind of the work together and the massage is really wonderful. So I highly recommend finding somewhere in your community that can offer this to you.

[00:33:25] Susanne: Awesome. Well, and since we have our, a lot of people listening in our community, uh, before we go to the Look, Listen, Learns, can you share like your website or where people can find you really easily?

[00:33:36] Charleen: So on any social, it’s just at the point Wellness. And then our website is the point wellness.com

[00:33:42] Susanne: All right. So with that, let’s jump into some Look, Listen, Learns and for new listeners. What’d you do?

[00:33:49] Missy: We did really well on

[00:33:50] Susanne: I know. We’re amazing. And we also, we also wasted a lot of time. So we’re doing extra good. We’re still getting back into the group. We’ve had a

[00:34:01] Missy: really are.

[00:34:03] Susanne: Oh, okay. Now I got to stop laughing. Almost. Okay. So it is time for our Look, Listen, Learns. Listeners, welcome and thank you for being here. At the end of each show, we spend a couple minutes with our Look, Listen, Learn segment where we share all the things that we’re either reading or watching or learning about. And we do not like to put our guests in the hot seat first.

So Missy, what are you look, listen, learning this week?

[00:34:30] Missy: Okay. Well, I was going to talk about a book that I’m reading, but I’m not finished with it yet. So I’m, I’m shelving that. We’re going to talk about that when I’ve finished it. I can’t wait to talk about it. so instead I am looking at, um, the new season of Somebody Feed Phil.

[00:34:42] Susanne: Oh, that’s right.

[00:34:44] Missy: I love somebody feed Phil to either.

You don’t watch it. Do

[00:34:47] Susanne: No, but you’ve

mentioned it, before. I’m

[00:34:49] Charleen: No.

[00:34:50] Susanne: it down.

[00:34:51] Missy: So great. It’s on Netflix and, uh, Bill Rosenthal is a TV producer. He’s, I think, done some acting. he was involved in Everybody Loves Raymond. Like, it was loosely based on his life. and so, but now he has this show. He travels the world and he talks to people about the food where they are.

And every show It has a tearjerker moment. It’s also really funny. And, um, he has a charitable component as well, but it’s fascinating to watch where he goes. And it makes me of course, want to get on an airplane. Pretty much every episode makes me want to get on an airplane. but there’s a new season, super fun.

So we’ve been watching a show or two every night. and it’s not a very long season, so we’re almost done, which makes me sad.

[00:35:32] Susanne: How many seasons are there?

[00:35:34] Missy: I think this is the 7th?

[00:35:36] Susanne: Okay. So,

[00:35:37] Missy: I think so. And early on, his parents play a big role, and it’s adorable. Like, he calls them from wherever he is, so there’s a video chat, and it’s really, really adorable.

so it’s great. Just like one of those shows that makes your heart happy. And also makes you really hungry and could be expensive if you buy a plane ticket to everywhere he goes. so I’m watching that. And then I’ve been watching this show that I’m a little bit embarrassed to admit that I’m watching, that I’ve been watching, um, Resident Alien.

Anyone even heard of it? Okay. Netflix was like, you might like, I don’t know why Netflix thought I might like it.

[00:36:13] Susanne: they know you.

[00:36:14] Missy: Um, I guess. It’s kind of creepy. but it’s based, I guess, on a comic book, and I’m not a comic book person, so I don’t know. But it’s about an alien who ends up on Earth and, gets really involved in this little town.

He’s able to look like a person. Um, but gets really involved in everything that’s going on in this little town, and it’s It’s very funny, but it’s also kind of creepy at times and also a little sad at times and, uh, like I’m hooked.

[00:36:40] Susanne: Is it a new show?

[00:36:42] Missy: in its third season now, so like I am caught up and I’m now watching week by week as it comes out.

In season three and I can’t believe no one in my family can believe I’m watching it. No one wants to watch it with me. And I’m like, y’all, it’s really funny. Like the alien is really funny. So I don’t know if you just need something a little different than what you’ve probably been watching. Check out Resident Alien on.

I want to say I started it on Netflix, but now I’m having to finish it on maybe Peacock. Like the Netflix doesn’t have the current season. So I’ll find it and put it in the show notes where I’m watching the current season, but I had to flip over to another. And I liked it that much that I was like, I’m out of seasons.

I have to, where do I get the next one? I

[00:37:21] Susanne: my goodness. Okay, well you know what? Chris is out of town, so maybe I’ll try it. So it’s not, because I can’t watch any of our shows that we watch

[00:37:29] Missy: Right. Then you’ll get in trouble. That’s kind of how I started this one. Like there was something Mark and I were wanting to watch and I had a day where I just was chilling. I needed something on in the background. I’m like, I’ll try this alien. Why not? So that and then I’m listening to Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby

[00:37:46] Susanne: Oh, I love that one.

[00:37:48] Missy: so good. And I I’m listening to it. I have not read it, but I’m I still, without having compared the two, I would say, listen, because there’s an, yes, there is an octopus who talks and, um, yeah, it’s so great to hear it in his voice. so I highly recommend listening to that. And ironically, there was briefly a talking octopus in Resident Alien.

So I talking octopi are part of my world right now.

[00:38:15] Susanne: Maybe that’s how you got Algorithmed.

[00:38:18] Missy: Maybe. I don’t know what the universe is sending me, but the universe is sending me. Octopi. Um, I don’t know why. We’ll figure it out. If I find out, I’ll let you know. So anyway, that’s what I’m doing. What about you, Charlene?

[00:38:31] Charleen: So my look is the hubby and I try to have a show that we watch together and we are definitely behind, but we are trying to finish up succession.

[00:38:40] Susanne: love.

[00:38:42] Charleen: So that is what we are doing. And then one of my other favorite looks right now is my little one is six. And this is the first time she’s really trying something that she’s passionate about as far

as a class or activity goes.

And she just started cheerleading and it

just melts my heart that she is so passionate about it. So that is my other look. Like I just love watching her get excited and really find passion in something that she wanted rather than something mommy and daddy put her in.

[00:39:12] Missy: yeah. It’s pretty great.

[00:39:14] Charleen: that, um, my listen is I am really trying to experiment right now with biannual beats.

And, you know, alpha waves versus beta waves versus all of that and how my brain responds to them because everybody responds differently. So that’s really been what I’ve been playing with

recently. And it’s

[00:39:34] Missy: have to give us some links that we can put in show notes for like where you found good ones.

[00:39:39] Susanne: Yeah, because I have a mix of them that I listen to, but I think, is this, it’s weird that I actually start to recognize the patterns now, so I need, I need some

[00:39:48] Charleen: New ones.

[00:39:48] Susanne: fresh, beats.

[00:39:51] Charleen: And then my learn is I am a big fan of the Huberman podcast.

[00:39:56] Susanne: Me

[00:39:57] Charleen: So, I listen to it twice, but his podcasts are always so long, I have to take them in chunks.

But, we recently put a cold plunge on our patio here at The Point, and I’ve been doing it for about six and a half months now, so I’m going through a lot of his research on cold plunging and cold and heat exposure.

[00:40:16] Susanne: Interesting.

[00:40:17] Missy: the next thing I’m trying at the point is the cold plunge.

[00:40:20] Susanne: I’ve got a friend

[00:40:21] Charleen: I’ll hold you to

[00:40:21] Susanne: Portland that’s been doing that just in her pool because it, it works there. And she’ll do a picture every morning and every once in a while she’ll have a bunch of friends in the background that she drug along with her. And I’m just like, Oh. I love heat so much, but I guess you can follow it by heat, right?

Can you warm back up afterwards?

[00:40:41] Charleen: Yep, so we do the, we do the cold plunge followed by the infrared sauna,

[00:40:45] Susanne: Okay. So you get to warm back up. Okay. I’ll, I’ll, you sell me on that. That’s that I’ll do.

[00:40:52] Missy: Yeah. Cause there’s a lot of, we didn’t get into it and we don’t have time to get into it, but there’s a lot of interesting science behind what that does to your body. And it’s really supposed to be great for aging and bone loss and all kinds of crazy things. Yeah. Yeah. It’s so interesting.

[00:41:10] Susanne: Oh my gosh.

[00:41:11] Missy: well, what about you, Suzanne?

What do you look, listening, learning?

[00:41:14] Susanne: Well, I’m going to keep going on this, this health thing we’re talking about, because I’ve been looking at this book, um, I think it’s called Adrenal Transformation Protocol. I don’t, I did not bring it up here. But, um, I have Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. I had a very exciting adventure in college where my Thyroid nerve, my body decided to attack my thyroid.

and so I just have been chugging along for the past, what, 40 years? No, no, I’m

[00:41:43] Missy: No, not, not that many yet.

[00:41:44] Susanne: Um, but you know, all my thyroid supplements and all those things, but I’ve. just especially with menopause and changing body, just realizing that there’s probably more to be doing to address this than just, you know, taking the thyroid supplements.

So trying to get smarter about the things that I’m eating, not aggravating it. so according to this book, a lot of things that I eat, not even just junk food, but like, it’s like, Oh, you should try eliminating oatmeal. I’m like, no, that’s my magic food that I do forever. Um, and my yogurt that I like to mix with my oatmeal, but I don’t think it means you can’t have it forever, but it kind of starts with this elimination diet type of thing to try to figure out what your issues are.

But one of the other things that came out of it is even if you’re going to just keep eating whatever you want, to start using some supplements like ginseng and the, uh, you’re going to have to help me pronounce this one, uh, the ashwagandha.

[00:42:39] Charleen: ashwagandha,

[00:42:40] Susanne: Ashwagandha and maca and some other things. so now I’ve been researching that, that opens up a whole nother can of worms.

Like we were saying, like, how do you find a trusted acupuncturist? I feel like, how do you find trusted, you know, suppliers of all these different supplements to make sure that they’re not makes another weird stuff in there. so yeah, if you have any tips along those lines, I’m, I’m open because I think that, I mean, We’ve talked about when I was having a bunch of aches and pains, and I had a doctor who recommended just taking. What was it? Cumin? Does that sound right?

[00:43:15] Missy: No, it was,

um,

[00:43:17] Susanne: Uh, yeah, it was cumin. Yeah. And how shocking it was that that just cured me. I’m like, really? I could have just had a bunch of curry? And like, this is

[00:43:28] Missy: Delicious and I don’t hurt anymore.

[00:43:30] Susanne: So I’m very curious to see what, like, these things can do. But I’m also curious from a health expert’s point of view, would you recommend then, like, Trying one.

I, I’m, I’m afraid that if like something works, I’m not going to know what works. So like, do you usually recommend being like, okay, I’m going to try the ginseng. And then if that’s good, I’ll work something else in. Or I know that you were saying that there’s, uh, some things that mix them all together for you just for convenience sake.

So what do you recommend?

[00:44:00] Charleen: So usually when you’re looking at something, um, when you’re looking at thyroid, inflammation, anything like that, sometimes you do have to take a combo because they’re synergistic. So they all work together and they work on different things. I wouldn’t be as worried if you were taking three supplements that are supposed to do the exact same thing, then that’s a problem.

But, you know, like usually with thyroid, we have one for inflammation. We have one for the actual thyroid gland. We have one for the. The libido, and we have one for the energy, and those can all work synergistically. So as long as there’s improvement, we don’t worry too much about which one is it. But if you were doing three for inflammation or three for something, then you only do one at a time to see what’s actually working.

Mm-Hmm.

[00:44:45] Susanne: Oh, okay. Oh, I’m glad I had this

[00:44:48] Missy: to what they’re supposed to be doing for you. That’s good advice.

[00:44:52] Susanne: Okay. I’m hitting you up after this.

[00:44:54] Missy: Uh huh.

[00:44:55] Susanne: Get some information. Let’s see. What am I listening? I am listening to way too many news podcasts and I am not going to survive this election cycle. So I just need to stop. I need to stop. Someone come take my phone away from me.

And.

[00:45:12] Missy: the, uh, no more, no more news phase because it’s just, I mean, like my stomach is just knotted up.

[00:45:19] Susanne: I feel like there’s a duty to become, like to be an informed citizen, but I also like I need to know what that line is between being informed and just being a nervous wreck about the state of the world. So

[00:45:34] Missy: Right.

[00:45:35] Susanne: I don’t know. I do need a little bit of numbing, I think, especially now that I’m not drinking. I’m like, ah.

[00:45:43] Missy: I have no vices left, and the news is really horrible.

[00:45:47] Susanne: can only walk so much. And when I walk, I listen to podcasts, so maybe I’ll just listen to binaural beats while I walk.

[00:45:57] Missy: Or some music. Find some good

[00:45:59] Susanne: I’ll find some new music. Um, let’s see, learning. Oh, I just had a fascinating month at work because I think I’ve. I don’t know if I’ve complained about this before, but, since I bill based on my time, since I’m a contractor, it can be really tricky to be super accurate or maybe as accurate as I want to be with the time that I’m billing my clients for.

And so one of the features on Paymo, which is what I use for my invoicing and time tracking is an actual like timer. Which at first I was like, Oh, that’s going to make me a nervous wreck. Like it almost feels like you’re going against, you know, you flipped over the hourglass and now you’re trying to, but I’ve actually found it to be really grounding and like also make my time more intentional.

So because part of the reason I had to use it is because usually I do my time in 15 minute blocks and I can do. A hundred things in a 15 minute block and I was recognizing that and so now if I’m switching between tasks, I need to like recognize that I’m doing that and like, okay, and it makes me take a little pause because I have to go back to my timer and like turn off the last task I was doing and then go back to it and set it for whatever the next task is going to be.

And some of the tasks, I mean, it’s ridiculous. My time, my invoice for the past month was like 10 pages because some of them are like Two minutes, three minutes, four minutes, but you know, over the course of the month, they add up to be normal chunks of time, but it made me feel so much better that the accuracy was there.

And also it probably saved me. At least 15 to 20 percent of my time a day, because I caught myself at the end of the day and I wasn’t doing this on the books, I wasn’t getting paid for this part where I would be going back and being like, Okay, I know I was sitting at my desk from one to two, what was I working on?

And I would have to go look through our project management thing to be like, Okay, what did I submit during that time? I was even going back into my like, internet browser history to be like, what website was I on during that point? Yeah. Yeah. To see like what I was working on. And now at the end of the day, I hit stop at that last task I was working on and it’s done.

And it was such a beautiful thing. I did it for the whole month. Cause I was like, surely I’m going to get tired of this, but it’s still, I think the number one benefit though, is just, it’s helping me be much more aware of all that. task switching and to thinking about ways that I can batch tasks together so there isn’t so much switching and just be more conscious of the way that I’m using my time.

And also just a way smarter use of my time to not be spending another hour after the workday unpaid, um, trying to figure out what I was doing all day.

[00:48:55] Missy: Oh, it’s my least favorite part of being a contract employee is tracking that. It’s stressful to me, and I want to get it right, and you don’t want to be overcharging your client or undercharging. Like, you don’t want to not get paid for what you’re doing. but yeah, it’s hard, so I

[00:49:11] Susanne: No, to the minute, I haven’t, and it makes me, and again, since I am so conscious of like making sure that I’m being super accurate, because there were times when I’d have a block of time where I knew, I mean, I knew I had not gotten up for a chunk of time. I knew I was working and couldn’t figure out, and I just wouldn’t bill for it because I was like, well, I’m not just going to.

Make it up. So, um, so no, it’s good for me. It’s good for the clients. It’s good for everything. So yay, Paymo. I keep on saying Paymo is like our new Canva and just keep on, keep on talking

[00:49:43] Missy: Brought to you by Paymo and Canva.

[00:49:46] Susanne: I’m a big fan and yeah, super, super helpful. So that has been my learn, that I can make it a whole month using this.

And I have now, I have set myself up as a client so that when I’m not at work, I’m also tracking my own time on there. So I have it broken down into like Caring Hope podcast. So I’m doing my own time tracking as I’m doing my other tracking, so.

[00:50:09] Missy: You’re so fancy. I

[00:50:10] Susanne: I am so fancy. I know, back, remember when we were doing all the Laura Vanderkam time tracking stuff?

I was like, that’s ridiculous. There’s, no one could possibly do that for their whole life, but, it turns out it actually, I mean, I wouldn’t do it if I was just like still doing stay at home ing stuff, um, if I had to run back to my computer every time that I was, I’m going to do, you know, change a diaper now, I’m going to do this now, or I’m going to go run to this meeting or whatever, but since I’m literally just sitting there anyway, um, in front of the computer, that’s been really helpful, so.

That’s me.

[00:50:44] Missy: All right. Well, we’re about two minutes away from our

[00:50:46] Susanne: No, I didn’t start till like 2. 05, so

[00:50:49] Missy: Okay. Oh, good. Good.

[00:50:51] Susanne: but we can say our goodbyes anyway.

[00:50:53] Missy: Yes. Thank you for being here. I know you’re really busy, Charlene, and you’re probably running to go put needles in somebody the minute we’re done, but I really appreciate you taking an hour out of your day for us.

[00:51:03] Charleen: thank you guys so much for having me.

[00:51:06] Susanne: such a pleasure to meet you, and I think I’ll be meeting you in person very soon.

[00:51:10] Charleen: Absolutely.

[00:51:11] Missy: You can come have a whole field trip to this part of the world, Suzanne, and you

can, we can hang out and you can go get a treatment and

[00:51:18] Susanne: Oh, we totally should do that. We can do it.

[00:51:20] Charleen: the street and get some coffee.

[00:51:22] Susanne: Yeah, we can bring back the tipsy ellipses for an episode. can.

Uh, well, thank you again. This has been really great. And I am going to be hitting you up for my, supplement information, get my inflammation down and figure out my junk, but

[00:51:37] Missy: awesome.

[00:51:38] Susanne: thank you so

[00:51:38] Charleen: Alright, thank you guys.

[00:51:40] Missy: Have a great rest of your day. Bye.

[00:51:42] Susanne: bye.

Thank you so much for joining us for the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. We hope you enjoyed today’s show. And if you know someone else who could benefit from the episode, please be sure and share it with them. And while we’re begging, please subscribe and rate us wherever it is you listen to podcasts. You can find links to all the things we discussed today in our show notes or over at our website, momandpodcast.

com with the A N D spelled out in between shows, find us over at the socials, including our private mom and community Facebook group, the links to that group. And all of our socials can be found at mom and podcast. com. Thank you so much for your support. We appreciate you more than, you know, now go out there and make your ellipses count.

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February 29, 2024 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 135 / Guest: Allie PerezSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:This episode of the Mom &… Podcast features a vibrant conversation with special guest Allie Perez, an advocate for women in trades and a successful CMO and COO of George Plumbing Company. The hosts, Susanne Kerns and Missy Stevens, delve into Allie’s journey from an NYU drama graduate to a trailblazer in the male-dominated plumbing industry. Allie shares her experiences of founding the organization Texas Women in Trades to address the lack of female representation and mentorship in the field. She also highlights the importance of setting personal boundaries and prioritizing self-care, and discusses the challenges and solutions related to being a working mom in the trades. Additionally, the episode touches on topics like manual lymph drainage, the benefits of compression wear, and personal updates from the hosts.

More info on the Women In Construction Parade in San Antonio March 9, 2024

Topics From This Episode:* 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast * 00:15 Getting Back to Podcasting * 00:37 Life as a Mom and a Chauffeur * 01:19 Introducing the Guest: Allie Perez * 03:36 Allie’s Journey into the Plumbing Trade * 05:23 The Importance of Women in Construction * 06:48 Challenges and Opportunities for Women in Trades * 08:52 The Role of Education in the Trades * 12:00 The Impact of Gender and Age in the Trades * 15:51 Balancing Family and Work in the Trades * 30:49 Celebrating Women in Construction Week * 34:08 Celebrating Women in Construction * 34:25 Upcoming Event Details * 35:39 Voiceover Work and Acting Career * 36:40 Balancing Career and Motherhood * 39:37 Look, Listen, Learn Segment

Look, Listen, LearnsSusanne:

Looking at apartment lease contracts for her daughter
The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel
Learning that old people (like us) have bad memories

Allie

Ziwe on Paramount+
Trolls Band Together soundtrack
Learning to prioritize herself and set boundaries

Missy

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang
Billy Joel (he has a new song!)
Manual Lymph Drainage

More About Allie Perez:Allie Perez is the CMO/COO of George Plumbing Company, Founder of Texas Women in Trades Texas Women Work. She serves on the City of San Antonio Small Business Advisory Committee as the Mayor’s Appointee. She also serves on the City of San Antonio – Workforce Development “Ready to Work” Board. She works with tradeswomen advocacy across the nation. She was recently named one of San Antonio Business Journal’s 40 Under 40 2024. She is a graduate of New York University. Also, a proud mother of a 9-year old firecracker daughter.

Connect with Allie Perez and Texas Women in Trades:* Facebook * LinkedIn * Instagram * YouTube

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Women In Construction – Skilled Trades 101 with Allie Perez appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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February 15, 2024 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 134 / Guest: Dr. Anne WelshSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:This episode of the Mom &… Podcast features guest Dr. Anne Welsh, a mom, clinical psychologist, executive coach, and consultant. Dr. Welsh shares insights about the dilemmas and challenges women often face when returning to work after maternity leave, as well as the importance of understanding that these decisions are not always permanent and can be adjusted according to changing circumstances over time. The episode also dives into the ways in which parenting skills can be valuable in the professional space, and the importance of having a supportive community during these transitions. Moreover, Dr. Welsh introduces her Working Mothers Lifeline group, designed to support working mothers through their shared experiences.

Topics From This Episode:* 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast * 00:00 Hosts’ Personal Updates and Anecdotes * 01:39 Introducing the Guest: Dr. Anne Welsh * 03:00 Dr. Anne Welsh’s Career Journey and Expertise * 05:47 Understanding the Difference Between Therapy and Coaching * 07:54 Challenges and Transitions in New Parenting * 11:41 Exploring Parental Leave Coaching * 14:40 Navigating the Decision to Return to Work Post-Maternity * 17:57 The Value of Stay-at-Home Moms and the Importance of Self-Care * 28:39 Strategies for Keeping Skills Fresh During Extended Leave * 31:38 Parenting as a Skill-Building Exercise * 32:19 The Three Categories of Skills Developed Through Parenting * 33:09 Parenting as Project Management * 33:55 The Value of Parenting Skills in the Workplace * 34:34 Transitioning Back to the Workforce * 35:35 Tips for Preparing to Reenter the Workforce * 35:49 The Importance of Self-Compassion and Getting Help * 39:14 The Working Mother’s Lifeline Group * 39:24 The Power of Community for Working Moms * 41:35 Look, Listen, Learn: Recommendations and Discoveries

Look, Listen, LearnsSusanne:

The Good Life Project Podcast, specifically the Dan Buettner episode
Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones on Netflix
Bake Off: The Professionals

Anne

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin
Peloton Moms Book Club on Facebook
Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi
Listening to Boygenius
Learning about a new phase of parenting

Missy

The Split on Hulu
Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver
Kizik shoes

More About Dr. Anne Welsh:Dr. Anne Welsh is a clinical psychologist, executive coach, and consultant. Dr. Welsh began her career at Harvard before opening her own practice with a focus on supporting working parents in growing their careers and families. She is a mother of 4 and draws on her own experience as a mother, her research career in the transition to motherhood, and her 15 years in practice to help parents feel less alone, more connected to themselves and their values, and more empowered to make choices that fit for them.

Connect with Dr. Anne Welsh:* Website * Instagram * LinkedIn

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!Musical NotesOur delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.[00:00:08] Susanne: Welcome to the mom and dot dot dot podcast the podcast that helps you make your ellipses count You know all the dot dot dots that come after I’m a mom and and I’m Susanne Kerns a mom and dot dot dot writer LGBTQ and sex ed advocate and this week I am starting A new client. I’m up to two now, which is pretty exciting, and it’s also my lucky number, so I’m stopping there.

[00:00:33] Missy: All right. Perfect. You’re done. I

[00:00:35] Susanne: I know. Part time needs to stay part time. That’s my motto.

[00:00:38] Missy: That’s right. That’s right. And I’m Missy Stevens, mom and dot, dot, dot, writer, foster child advocate, and this week returner of random items that I’ve bought in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. So note to everyone, don’t shop when you have insomnia because you don’t need any of that stuff.

[00:00:54] Susanne: Oh, are you going to share what any of them were?

[00:00:56] Missy: the one thing, it’s not that interesting, but I bought a mattress pad that we don’t need. Like I woke in the middle of the night in a panic and I’m like, we don’t have a mattress pad for that bed. Yes, yes, we do. Like, I’m not drinking. I’m not on drugs. I just am not sleeping well. And my brain is going on too many things.

And yeah, but I, yeah, and I bought just, you know, shoes that don’t fit and tops that are stupid and, you know, just stuff. Stuff. I get it. And I’m like, what? Oh, I bought a pair of coveralls, like Dickie’s coveralls. Thought they’d be really cute. They were not.

[00:01:26] Susanne: I’m scared. Those always look so cute on people, but I think my boobs are too big. I think that they would do

[00:01:32] Missy: I don’t know what was wrong with my body in them, but it was not happening.

[00:01:37] Susanne: Oh my gosh, okay, and we do have a guest today too, not just our shopping recap. Our guest this week is Dr. Anne Welsh. Anne is a mom and dot dot dot clinical psychologist, executive coach, and consultant. Anne began her career at Harvard before opening her own practice with a focus on supporting working parents in growing their careers and families.

She draws on her own experience as a mother of four, her research career in the transition of motherhood, and her 15 years in practice to help parents feel less alone, more connected to themselves and their values, and more empowered to make choices that fit for them.

Welcome. Oh my, those are all our favorite things to talk about. I’m so excited.

[00:02:20] Anne: I’m super excited to be here. I have listened to many of your shows and learned from all of your other guests, so it feels like a real treat to get to be the guest this time.

[00:02:30] Susanne: Oh, yay.

[00:02:31] Missy: Thank you. We’re really glad you’re here. And we learned some about you from your bio, but we’d love to look at a little more and one Oh one and just a snapshot of your career in life and maybe any pivots and how motherhood might’ve impacted any of those pivots.

[00:02:45] Anne: Yeah, I, started out, getting my doctorate in psychology, but there was a pretty big pivot even before that. I had gotten into medical school and decided not to go. Uh, my parents were not thrilled, but I kind of just knew that this was not quite. The fit, even though I had worked really hard to get there.

and so I decided I wanted to get my doctorate in psychology and thought I might want to go kind of academic and, you know, again, Reassessed over time and ended up going into a more clinical focus. but from the beginning, my research was actually on the transition to motherhood. I was not a mom.

I was in my early twenties at the time and I really liked transitions. Um, like that was the thing that I enjoyed studying and kind of how people navigate shifts in their life. And my research advisor at the time was like, hey, why don’t you look at motherhood? it’s really understudied. And that was very true at the time.

And so I started researching and then I actually defended my dissertation like eight and a half months or eight and a half weeks. Sorry, pregnant. So nobody knew I was super sick. Um. But defended my dissertation on the transition to motherhood, and then, you know, promptly nine months later went through it myself and was still kind of woefully unprepared, even though I had been researching it for years.

Um, and so then I went on, I worked at Harvard for a while doing university mental health, which had been my dream job. It had been the thing that I wanted to do for a while. And I, and I did love it. I loved the students. They were interesting and bright and motivated. but once I had my second kid, it just was too intense to do it in a full time way.

University mental health is a pretty intense, It’s pretty intense work. It’s a can be an intense schedule and I asked to cut back even a little bit and there was just no flexibility and so I left to do my own thing. And since then, basically, I’ve kind of shifted my focus into clinical work with new parents, and I do that both through therapy and through coaching and, you know, more recently, kind of in the And I have started to do it in a consulting way as well helping companies retain working parents or bring them back into the workforce after so many left to do caretaking during covid.

[00:04:56] Missy: Right.

[00:04:57] Susanne: Yeah. Oh, my gosh, that’s so interesting. I mean, talk about the transition to parenting, defending your dissertation at eight and a half weeks pregnant. Oh, my gosh.

[00:05:07] Missy: perfect. I love the way the world works sometimes.

[00:05:09] Susanne: and just to give a little context to our conversation, we’ve talked about this with previous guests, but in case it’s anyone’s first time, welcome.

Glad to have you here. Um, or if anybody needs a refresher, can you help explain the difference between therapy and coaching? Um, How you practice those.

[00:05:25] Anne: Sure, yeah. And I think you know I may have a slightly different perspective as someone that currently does both, you know, and I think of them as like a Venn diagram right they’re not separate entirely separate buckets. And I think. It may be the amount of overlap is going to differ depending on who it is you’re working with.

I think the traditional definitions are things like therapy is treating a mental illness. therapy is focusing on the past. and that coaching is present focus and is looking towards the future. But I think even that there’s actually a lot. It’s less cut and dry than that in in that coaching shouldn’t be used to treat mental illness.

But a lot of therapy clients that I work with don’t have a significant diagnosis. They’re going through a transition point. They have something they’re addressing. That’s kind of a moment in time. And that’s what we’re working on. So you don’t have to have like capital M. mental illness to be in therapy.

Um, and I also have coaching clients who have a therapist, right? So they may have anxiety and they’re working on that with their therapist and working with me on career development. so I know that actually probably muddies the waters more than clarifies it. but you know, I think the bigger thing is that, you know, with.

Therapy. It can be long term. The goals are usually symptom remission. It can sometimes feel a little more meandering. Coaching is super goal oriented and usually there is something very concrete we’re working on. It’s usually shorter term, not always. And it is usually behaviorally focused. We definitely look at thoughts, but there is often a, here’s a behavior I want to change, here’s exactly what I want to look different on the other side of this.

[00:07:06] Susanne: Thank you for that reminder. It’s always helpful to, yeah, give us just a little framework for as we discuss kind of the both sides of the services you offer.

[00:07:14] Missy: Yeah. We want to talk a little bit about that new parenting stage. We’re past that. A lot of our listeners may be past that as well, but even if you’ve done it, or maybe you’re doing it for the sixth time, or maybe someone you love is doing this and you want to be able to reach out to them, what kinds of things are you really helping new parents address most in this post COVID world?

Always.

[00:07:36] Anne: I would say, and I would say to your point, right, whether it’s your first or your sixth or whatever in between, it is always a transition because there’s always a new family member. And I would say the stuff that I’m working with new parents on doesn’t go away when your kids are older, often, right, because I’d say the one of the most common things I’m working on is feeling overwhelmed and feeling like you’re failing and sadly, I don’t think that goes away when your kids get older.

Certainly it hasn’t been my experience that it gets easier. It gets different,

but it’s not like there’s less to do. You know, I think in that toddler age, the physical demands are there like it’s exhausting in a physical way when they’re teenagers. It’s still kind of exhausting, but it’s just a different sense of it.

Um, But so I would definitely say overwhelm is a huge one. Um, and so we talk about a lot of boundary setting. What can you put down? What balls can you not hold on to right now? with that feeling of failing. And that’s again true whether you’re, you feel like you’re failing, As a working mom, as a at home mom, as some combination of, of either, we’ll often talk about things like perfectionism and try to grow confidence and think about, like, what are the stories and the expectations we have for ourselves and maybe where is that not true, or not aligned with kind of our values, the other things that come up, and again, I think this is true of new moms or Um, Kind of, uh, veteran moms, if you will, right, of feeling alone and unsupported, whether that’s with friends or with your partner or, with a broader sense of community.

and then also feeling unhappy, right? I think a lot of times it is this sense of, you know, I’m doing this mom thing and I wanted these kids and I’m Doing my best, and I’m not happy, and I’m not sure why, um, and that’s another, a common one, and sometimes, you know, in my therapy patients, sometimes it is that an undiagnosed postpartum depression or anxiety that they don’t recognize, but sometimes there’s other pieces to it.

A lot of times it’s, I’ve stopped asking myself what I want because I’ve been so focused on everybody else, and There isn’t necessarily an awareness that they stopped, right, and so we have to kind of relearn how, how do I even ask myself what I, and we’ll start with like, what do you want for dinner?

Right? What,

[00:09:58] Susanne: Oh, my gosh, you’re speaking to

[00:10:01] Anne: work up, you know, to what do you want to do with your life? What do you want this parenting thing to look like?

[00:10:08] Missy: it’s one of my favorite things to talk about. And I’ve told the story a thousand times on this podcast, or at least a few. And at one point, a therapist asked me, what do you like? And I couldn’t answer it. And it was that it completely that, that I had forgotten to ask myself what I was interested in or what I wanted.

I was just so focused on surviving every day with these little people.

[00:10:32] Susanne: Yes. Well, and speaking of getting ready for life with these little people, one of the services you offer is parental leave coaching, which I don’t know if that didn’t exist 18 years ago when I was going through this, or I

[00:10:44] Missy: We needed it.

[00:10:45] Susanne: have the know how to go even look for it or it’s probably too cheap.

I don’t know. but so what does that encompass when someone comes to you for parental leave coaching?

[00:10:54] Anne: just to answer your other question, you know, it didn’t, I don’t think it did exist. Um, Amy Beacom, who was a guest on your show,

really

[00:11:01] Missy: love

[00:11:02] Anne: Yeah, so she, I would say she really pioneered this field after her kids. So it is new, um, as a service. And now, you know, there are individuals that of us that do it.

There’s a couple companies that are trying to, Get it kind of as a work benefit that would be offered through HR at your

[00:11:20] Missy: Mm hmm.

[00:11:21] Anne: um, and I know Amy is doing that, but really what it entails is support through, kind of dual support through the transition to parent and the transition to working parent, because they’re kind of two massive things that happen simultaneously, and so what that looks like is some coaching while you’re pregnant, right?

there is an assessment that we can do that helps highlight what skills and strengths you’re bringing into this transition, but also maybe where there’s some gaps that we can be filling in ahead of time, um, and there’s a lot of planning around how are you going to take care of yourself and have help during the leave, and how are you going to hand off work to people so that you don’t have to feel super connected to work if you don’t want to.

What do you want that connection to work to look like while you’re out? And then how do you anticipate going back? So lots and lots and lots of planning and kind of thinking ahead. Then during the leave, there’s also coaching just to support that initial transition to, oh my god, I have a human being I have to take care of and what am I doing?

and that’s, you know, more emotional work. And then there’s support. Really important support on the on the other side and and on the transition back and a lot of like stopping and reassessing. Is this working? Does this actually fit? Does this feel okay? What do you need? it’s ideally gradually taking your work back.

But again, that can look different for different people. And kind of recognizing that you’re doing these two massive life transitions back to back, you’re still doing one and then you add a whole nother one, because being a working parent is very different than being a working person. And that’s just inherent in the nature of it.

And so it’s that kind of three, block support for parents as they navigate this whole piece. And it’s not just for mothers, that is true for anybody, um, as they take on a new life in their house.

[00:13:15] Missy: Yeah, there’s so much involved in that, and I think we oversimplify it and probably have oversimplified it for years of just, well, my company gives me X amount of time off. I’m going to take that time off and then off I go back to work. And it is so much bigger than that. And so complicated. I am wondering, it’s been a long time since I was in the traditional workforce and a long time since I had babies, what are some of the common issues currently facing that women are facing when they say, I need to take off?

This time you leave time that I get from my company, what’s going on now? What kinds of issues are they having with companies? Have things improved? Are things worse in some areas? How does it look? What does the landscape look like?

[00:13:56] Anne: You know, I, I wish I could sit here and tell you it’s like infinitely better. Um, It’s not I mean it varies right in terms of what leave actually looks like it really does vary company to company, you know We’re seeing a couple new states have passed parental leave laws where they are required by the state to be funded It’s often very complicated, even then, because it can involve different combinations of firm provided leave, state leave, short term disability, and sometimes you just need help kind of figuring out how and what applies to you for it.

So there is a little bit of a complication with that, but I think Some of the bigger issues, in addition to just like figuring out what your leave is, is figuring out how to navigate it emotionally, logistically, right? And so, you know, first there’s the question of do I even want to go back and what do I want that to look like?

And that’s a big one. there’s the question of What does my house look like now? What is getting out the door in the morning look like as I come back? I’ve seen a lot of moms who, you know, especially if they are the mom that, has more leave, which is not always the case, and, and that’s great. I definitely see a little bit of movement in men both being provided leave and then being able to take it, right, as opposed to, oh yeah, we, we provide it and then we actually frown upon you using it.

Um, but I think I see, you know, moms who’ve said, well, while I’m on leave, I take over all these house duties and baby care duties. And then. There’s a really rough transition when they are also going back to work and the co parent hasn’t had to do these things right and so there’s just so much communication that’s needed around the end of parental leave and whatever that’s going to look like within the couple. There’s also, you just, you miss your baby. Or you do and you don’t, right? And then you feel guilty about it, right? Like, you know, I know some moms who have said, I feel competent at work. I don’t feel competent raising this baby. I don’t know what the heck I’m doing. It feels scary and hard. And I want to go back.

And I’m excited about that. And it’s the place that I feel like myself. And then does that make me a bad mom? No, of course it doesn’t, but that there’s just a lot of guilt that shows up kind of no matter what choice you make or how you navigate it, that somehow I must be doing it. Strong or that other people have gotten this figured out better.

[00:16:27] Missy: Why do we always go there? We always go to, I’m screwing up and everyone else is doing okay. What is wrong with our brains?

[00:16:34] Susanne: I know. It’s in so many different areas of our lives too, not just parenting. It’s just a, yeah, it’s a weird phenomenon.

[00:16:42] Anne: well, and there’s some, you know, I unrelated, but there is some data that women’s brains do tend to worry more and go towards, that they’re kind of, I don’t know that I would say less risk averse, but, um, in her book burnout, if anyone’s

[00:16:55] Susanne: Oh yes. I think it’s right up here. Yeah.

[00:16:58] Anne: Um, I think she talks about this and then the other book that talks about it is the confidence code and I’m going to blank on the author of that one, but that.

[00:17:07] Missy: it up and put it in the notes.

[00:17:08] Anne: Yeah, there’s this tendency for women to be more of a worrier, than a warrior, and that they, they tend to ruminate more just biologically. Um, so I think that’s probably, like, I think there is something to be said that we do actually tend to blame ourselves more. But I would also say there’s the cultural component, right, of we have these crazy high expectations of mothers and they’ve only gotten higher and higher and higher, and it’s impossible to meet them.

So, of course, we look at the expectations and say, well, if they’re there, that must be because everybody else is doing it as opposed to these are unrealistic and nobody’s doing it.

[00:17:47] Susanne: Yeah. Who said those? Who said those? I don’t even know. You know what I

[00:17:53] Missy: this to us and why did we just swallow it?

[00:17:55] Susanne: No, I think it is, people trying to sell us things. I think it is like products. And sorry, I, I’m involved in marketing, that’s my career, but, but I do think it is, oh, we’re trying to sell this bleach, or we’re trying to sell this cleaner, or we’re trying to sell this service, or whatever, so we need to make sure that you don’t feel like whatever you’re doing.

Is clean enough is right enough is Enough enough. So yeah, I think a lot of it comes down to that. But okay, so we’re talking about Part of me wants to really focus on the transition back to work, even though you usually talk about it on a Returning after a maternity leave. My maternity leave is now ending after 18 years.

So, so

[00:18:38] Missy: That was your leaf. That’s

[00:18:39] Susanne: I’m also going through that transition. So I’m going to circle back to that at the end if we still have some time. But what got me here 18 years ago was the big decision of. Whether or not to return to work after maternity leave, um, I think I had assumed that I was going to run into the same situation you did where if I asked for flexibility that they were just going to be like, Nope, you can’t.

And 18 years ago, we weren’t really talking about too much flexibility. It was either you worked or you didn’t. and especially you worked. In the workplace, there wasn’t a whole lot of at home or any flexibility there. I literally called, my client was Apple at the time, and I called her, like, practically in tears from the back of a bus once, asking her, like, how did you decide, like, how do you decide whether you go back to work?

Which is not a very professional thing to ask your client. Leaving on maternity leave, but she, I considered her like a mother extraordinaire. She had these three amazing kids and she just seemed to be doing it all. And she had taken also some time off. So I was really curious, like what,

[00:19:42] Missy: like how did you do

[00:19:43] Susanne: yeah, since she had been through it and I didn’t know too many people who had been through it.

And it’s taken time. Everybody I knew from work went back to work. So, I mean, there’s obviously the paycheck to consider, but like, what are the other considerations that people should be thinking of if they’re going on maternity leave, or maybe they’ve been working for 10 years and the baby’s. You know, going into high school or whatever, but they’re thinking of taking some kind of leave to care for an aging parent or to take care of their own health care needs like what, considerations do they need to be making sure they’re aware of, like mine, I discovered was not knowing that social security doesn’t exist for stay at home mom.

So, so even in addition to the income you’re losing, you got to take into consideration your social security that you’re not contributing to for X

[00:20:30] Missy: Long term. Yeah.

[00:20:31] Susanne: so what are some other things that you help moms think through?

[00:20:35] Anne: Yeah, I love this like discernment work. And I think, you know, you made the point of like, do you do it later? That’s the other piece to it. One piece that I think people don’t necessarily consider is that this doesn’t have to be an all or nothing permanent decision. You don’t have to leave when they’re an infant and never go back or work forever.

Right. I’ve worked with moms who went back when their babies were infants and decided to cut back when their kids were in middle school or whatever that like, It’s it’s a constantly evolving decision. It’s like not a one and done thing. So that’s the first piece I would say right is that, you know, you don’t have to think of this as a lifetime decision, you can think of this as a six month chunk at a time

[00:21:17] Susanne: Yeah.

[00:21:18] Anne: and test it out.

And the other thing I would say is that You know, broad brushstrokes is that transitions take time, right? We usually say give you got a new job takes three to six to nine months and somewhere, you know, up to a year to adjust. So, know that that’s going to be your adjustment length on the other side of this.

Because yes, maybe you’re going back to the same job, but you are not the same, right? And, and your home life is not the same. So just lots and lots and lots of grace and self compassion, around it and, and kind of testing things and seeing how they feel. I would also say it’s always worth asking, you know, to your point, obviously you said you didn’t even consider it and I got a big No.

Um, But that’s not always the case, right? I have also had clients who have had success being able to navigate a lot of middle ground, whether that is they do part time, or they can stay remote, or they have one day off a week, or they, contract so that they’re working sometimes and not, and obviously that’s not always an income situation that’s, A possibility for everyone, but, um, you know, if it is, that can be a great option.

So, I’d always say ask, because, you know, the worst case is they say no, but, you know, in my case it wasn’t no and you’re fired, it was, here’s your choices, come back or don’t, full time or nothing. and then I could at least make an informed decision. Um, I think the other things to consider, you know, that we kind of think through are, What do you want child care to be if you go back and and or if you stay home?

How would you like that to look? Having good and obviously this is a challenge, you know care is just so expensive But having good child care can make or break the experience as a working parent and I’ve had both I’ve had bad child care and and it makes All the difference in the world and so being able to think through what does that look like for you if you’re working and if you choose to stay home, what does that look like, because you should have some help.

And it’s not maybe it’s not paid childcare you know we could have a whole episode about childcare options, but basically thinking through how do I want help if I stay home and how do I budget for that and make sure that that’s kind of included in my thinking. Um,

[00:23:36] Susanne: want to put that in my notes with like a hundred stars around it because I think that is something that I did not even allow myself to consider because I felt, I don’t want to say guilty. It wasn’t like my husband was like, Oh, shame on you. No money. It was just like, I put that on myself like, well, I’m not bringing in any money, so who am I to.

Take even more money to cover the thing that I am supposed to be doing. It just, it felt really unnatural to me. And I’m sure a lot of people have felt the same way. So like, how do we convince ourselves that it’s important? We’re worth it. it pays for itself and more in the end, as far as how you’re able to interact with your family, your child, and just how you feel for yourself.

[00:24:19] Anne: Right, I mean, it’s funny. I didn’t even get it until probably I think it was pregnant with my fourth and we were getting life insurance. And I mean, the fact that it took this long to hit me, right? The life insurance person. I was like, well, I don’t make that much money because I was pregnant.

working fairly part time at the time. So I was like, I don’t think we really need much. And the life insurance person said, it will cost your husband 150, 000 a year to replace you just in the work you do at home and childcare. You can’t discount that. And that, that was the first time where I was like, Oh, right.

[00:24:53] Missy: thing happened to us and it changed my outlook. Really, it changed this kind of, I don’t want to say sadness, but there was this had been this emotional burden to not making as much money. And when I looked at it that way, I was like, Oh, I am, I am doing valuable work. Society as a whole doesn’t always value it, but this is valuable work.

it would cost my husband a lot to replace me.

[00:25:16] Anne: Yeah. Yeah.

Right. I mean, not to mention the emotional side, but you know,

[00:25:20] Missy: Not to mention, I hope he’d also be sad. I don’t know.

[00:25:23] Susanne: yes, just as a tangent and I’m really curious because I’m thinking of this I’m like, yeah, that did make me feel better But I also my life insurance is it half the amount of my husband’s so yes It made me feel like I was valued and like yes, I needed some but it also was half the value of my husband’s part of that is because my cholesterol is like through the roof and Hey, no one go get life insurance while you are nursing, by the way, I do have high cholesterol anyway, but apparently that has significant impact on your cholesterol levels and that has for the past 20 years impacted my life insurance rate.

I pay the same amount per month for half the coverage. because I was slightly elevated again, it could just be genetically. I’ve always had high cholesterol, but I’ve heard from many people after that, that while you are nursing. And, you know, post baby. So, get, get your blood test done ahead of time, whatever you need to do, or wait, and I don’t know, you should probably shouldn’t wait until after, because there’s all kinds of considerations, but keep that in mind, because that is a huge, that’s a big cost, and the fact that it did make a decision to do half the coverage, because it did cost so much for me.

It kind of made me feel like half a person,

so, laughs Half a person with really high cholesterol.

[00:26:43] Missy: That’s right.

Oh, I wanna talk a minute about, while we’re talking about leave, I wanna talk about the people who maybe decide to take an extended leave. So they decide to be a stay-at-home mom for a while or for some other circumstance. They end up being out of work longer than they had planned.

We really like to talk about what you can do in that time to keep your skills fresh, to keep your brain sharp, and so that you don’t get stuck in that rutt of telling people at parties, oh, I’m just a mom. So do you have any favorite strategies that you use to help women work through this or any tips or tricks?

[00:27:15] Anne: yeah. I have kind of like a two part, one more like tangible and one more esoteric, but in terms of the tangible answer. So, you know, I, there’s a lot of ways you can do this. continuing to have relationships with your coworkers, I think sometimes people or former coworkers, I think people shy away from it.

There can even if you choose to stay home there can be a lot of grief around that choice and some loss social connections but of the meaning that maybe your work gave to you of what it meant to be a working person. Right, there’s the, it’s. Going back to work is a transition, choosing to stay home and leave the career field is a transition to a big one.

And it can be hard I think to have a try to have a foot in the door And have those complicated feelings and worry what people are thinking of you but if you can kind of have those feelings and still stay connected whether it’s through linkedin and engaging there or Grabbing coffee occasionally as you can with former coworkers.

I think that’s a big thing. volunteering, doing any sort of consulting work is a great way to stay in touch, taking classes or podcasts or reading books on your field of interest, are other great ways. and then I, you know, I would also say kind of just making sure you have time and space for you back to that child care thing.

And maybe that’s a little bit of daydreaming or some career discernment thinking about what you might want to do in the future. Maybe it is just having time to read. said book, um, uninterrupted, but that, that there’s still time for you in there, I think is really important. There’s a, um, newer website called Motherhood Untitled, and I was interviewed for an article on this exact topic actually back in March by then, but it’s, the whole point is women taking career pauses and trying to figure out what’s.

Next and what is it like to be in that pause? Um, so that’s just another good resource for people.

[00:29:12] Susanne: Oh, I just wrote that down. I had how we never heard of that Missy.

[00:29:17] Missy: I know. We’ve got to go check it

out.

[00:29:18] Susanne: know. I’m

[00:29:19] Anne: They, um, I think it’s relatively new. Like I want to say in the past couple of years, um, but I’m not entirely sure when it started. so that’s like the tangible stuff, but the other kind of more esoteric answer I would say is to remember that you are still building skills simply by parenting. So this is one of the big things I do when I’m consulting is helping companies see parenting is.

A essentially leadership class, right? There are so many skills that you are developing as a parent that are applicable to the workplace, and it maybe doesn’t feel like negotiating over whether we cut the grilled cheese into squares or triangles with our three year old is a workplace skill, and yet it takes patience, communication, emotional regulation, right?

I, I like to say there are kind of three categories that I put skills in, like you’re developing people skills, right? empathy, teamwork, emotional intelligence. Communication, right? All of those soft skills that we talk about being incredibly valuable in the workplace. You’re also developing a lot of productivity and hard work, right?

You have to have tenacity. You have to be a problem solver. You’re usually pretty efficient because you don’t have time to waste as a parent. Um, you have to prioritize and make quick decisions. And so you’ve got that chunk. And then you’ve got that, you know, that big picture thinking, that mental load piece, right?

Anticipating needs, getting creative, multitasking, managing projects, right? even like going on a trip to the beach, right, we’re coming to the end of the summer, that requires planning ahead, figuring out what’s going to be needed while you’re going, managing meltdowns of sandy wet children on the other side of it, physically carrying a lot of stuff back to the car, you know, making decisions around who’s going to eat when, watching the sunscreen, whether you need to reapply it, right, all of that feels like, ugh, I’m just in the thick of it, but really, That’s what project management is, right?

Like you are looking at the needs of the organization, in this case your family, you’re kind of following a lot of the, metrics, right? Around time, hunger level, you’re regulating your own feelings this entire time, will other people around you have big feelings? These are work skills, they’re really, really important work skills that not everybody has, and so if you’re in a pause to remember that like, It’s hard to have the line on your resume, but you’re also still really building important things that you can get creative about, calling on or naming when you, when and if you do decide you want to go back into the world of work.

[00:31:58] Susanne: I love that. That reminds me of Zippy Owens. Remember she was talking about how like no experience is wasted. It’s just like whatever the job is, whatever the role is, whatever it is that you’re doing. As long as you are not just hold up in your room, you’re doing something, or maybe sometimes even when you’re holed up in your room, you’re doing something, um, and, and you can put that for your experience, for a career moving forward, or just to make your life more interesting in the meantime, even if you don’t end up using it for a career, but now, as someone who has recently reentered the workforce, I would love a couple of tips on, I, I’m kind of past the shock to the systems.

side of it, but it definitely was, um, in a good way, in a very exciting way. and it was kind of, it did kind of sneak up on me, even though we’ve been doing a podcast about this for three years. the fact that like, I had just kind of put some, like. Oh, it’d be kind of fun to see what’s out there.

And then I got the job and then it was pretty quick. Um, so as much as we talk about preparing for it, I, I had not prepared myself for it. And even the sense of, like, division of labor around the house, we’re still working on that. So, like, what are some tips for making sure we are prepared for when we are committing our time to something outside of the home, or we’re reentering the workforce.

[00:33:12] Anne: Yeah, I mean, I think to echo something I said earlier, right, lots and lots of self compassion, first of all, because it is a huge transition for the entire family system. And so just being able to hold that like, we’re going to mess this up and we’re totally going to forget things and drop the ball and and that’s okay.

And I would say, get more help than you need. And, and honestly, that’s the same advice I tell parents when they are going back after six weeks or 16 years, right? Of, it’s always fine to not use the help, but maybe get it anyway, right? And maybe that help, when you’re going back with older kids, is enlisting the kids to help, if they’re old enough, right?

And having a conversation with them about what lights you up about this new job, and why you’re going back to it, and why it’s so exciting for you. And that maybe they’re going to have to help with dinner or dishes or whatever and kind of what that might look like it might also be things like, you know, again, similar to what you think about with leave.

before I go back, do I get a bunch of freezer meals and have them stashed? Do I tell my friends and family I’m doing this and ask for them to bring me freezer meals, right? Like, I’m having a new baby in a way of work. And so, who around me can kind of support that transition in a way?

And like, you know, maybe you don’t need a night nanny anymore, but you might need extra meals or extra rides for your kids places. and to know that like, when you inevitably, like you said, you know, I, we don’t have it all figured out into the division of labor yet, but that’s okay. Right. It’s a learning process.

I always say to my kids, mistakes mean you’re learning, right? Like, I forget to sign a kid up for an activity. I have, you know, forgotten to get the right school supplies. Like, I’m going to do this stuff. I’m still a good mom. I’ve, Messed up and scheduled a patient when I couldn’t actually see them and had to move them at the last minute.

Still a good therapist, right? Like, I make mistakes, and I learn from them and try not to make the same one again. And we’re gonna, as you do this transition, you’re gonna try some things that end up not fitting and not working, and you’re gonna say, oh, that’s a disaster. But to try to read it as, that didn’t work, as opposed to, well, I can’t do this.

Or I’m failing here. Or this is, this means I shouldn’t have gone back in the first place. No, no, no. You had a night or a week where the wheels fell off the cart. Okay, we’ll try something else next time.

[00:35:32] Missy: That’s an important distinction between I messed this up and I am just a mess. all make mistakes. I allow everybody in my life to make mistakes except for myself. And then I really am hard on myself when I. Schedule something at the wrong time or forget to order the yearbook, for example. I don’t know any moms who did that last year.

Like when those things happen, I am really hard on myself.

[00:35:54] Susanne: I just discovered that I didn’t order class photos for either of my kids for like three or four good years in grade school. So now I’m like hunting down the teachers and being like, certainly you must have one I could scan. But yes, oh, I love that distinction. That’s going on our pillow, Missy.

[00:36:12] Missy: Yes. Every, every episode we have a thing. That’s like, we want it tattooed on our forehead or needle pointed on a pillow. That is a needle point moment

[00:36:20] Susanne: yeah.

Yeah.

[00:36:21] Missy: Yeah. Well, we’re close on time. We’re running. I just looked at the clock, but we want to hear about your working mother’s lifeline group. They’re

[00:36:29] Anne: Yeah. I’m

[00:36:31] Missy: run out of time.

[00:36:32] Anne: Thank you. I’m super excited about it. Um, you know, primarily I do one on one work but I’ve discovered, you know, I think one of the things that’s so important for moms is that sense of community, right? And connecting with other moms so that you realize, oh, no one has this figured out. It truly isn’t just me.

And we have baby groups, right, for new moms, but we don’t have them for a lot of the rest of motherhood. and and I think particularly it can be hard for moms that are working and again, whether that’s part time or full time because you Have just that one more thing that maybe takes you away from being able to volunteer at your kid’s school or meet other moms Right your co workers aren’t inherently other moms so i’m starting a group in january.

So in the in the new year, Uh, small group, you know, 10 to 12 women, all working mothers. And the idea is we’ll do some group coaching. So we’re gonna, I’m looking for women who want to feel more connected to themselves, more intentional in their choices. They want to feel proactive and present and balanced in their lives and less guilty and less uncertain.

And we’ll do work around values and limiting beliefs. We’ll do some work around guilt and shame and perfectionism. We’ll talk about boundaries and communication. And we’ll do it all with a bunch of women that get it and are struggling with the same things. and it’ll run for six months. And so if people are interested, they can check that out on my website.

[00:37:50] Susanne: Oh, wow.

[00:37:51] Missy: You saying

[00:37:52] Susanne: I know. Okay. I’m very

[00:37:54] Missy: I’m like, Susanne, you need to,

[00:37:55] Susanne: You know, how many slots are there again? I don’t know, the last time I signed up for one of our, our guest sessions, I ended up getting a job. That was,

[00:38:05] Missy: right. Great. Yeah.

[00:38:07] Susanne: so who knows how transformative this could be.

[00:38:11] Missy: Oh, well tell us your website address before

[00:38:14] Anne: Yes. It’s www. doctorannwalsh. com.

[00:38:18] Missy: Okay. We will put it in the show notes as well,

[00:38:21] Anne: Amazing.

[00:38:22] Missy: because I imagine we have a lot of listeners who might be interested in that

mastermind.

[00:38:26] Susanne: who wouldn’t be? I mean, every, I was feeling a little ping, ping, ping, every single thing that you talked about, like, I need that. I need that. I need that. So, yeah, I’m sure we’re not the only ones.

[00:38:34] Missy: Yeah. It’s awesome. Well, we’re right about that time. We’re going to do look, listen, learns, and if anybody’s listening for the first time, we’re so glad you’re here and we hope you will come back and every show we spend a few minutes just talking about things we might be reading, watching, listening to products we’ve found, whatever it is in our life that we are look, listening, learning, and we never put our guests on the hot seat.

So Susanne, you are up first today. What are you look, listening and learning this week?

[00:38:58] Susanne: Let’s see. I was listening to, I love the Good Life Project podcast. So

good,

and I actually, it’s interesting because I did not, I was not really intrigued by the title of this. It was how to live longer and feel more alive. And I was like, Oh gosh, what’s this going to be? I just, they need to have a new title.

but it’s this Dan I’m going to say the name, Bootener, Bootener, B U E T E N E R. Um, and it’s funny, the night before I had just seen like a preview on Netflix for this series, I think it’s four parts, called The Blue Zone, which is all about, certain geographies throughout the world, and it may just be like, One square block in this one neighborhood or whatever, or little island regions in Italy, where people do all kinds of good things, where people are just super healthy, mentally, physically, and they have longer lives, happier lives, less dementia, like all these amazing things.

So he’s spent, God, I think 20 years. Trying to narrow down some of the commonalities between these groups and, uh, not surprisingly, plant based diet, walkable neighborhoods, which part of me is like, well, yeah, of course, that sounds amazing. But like, how many people actually have, I don’t know. I was getting kind of frustrated because so much of it was like also very privileged viewpoint.

Um, the fact that, you know, to have the ability to do have an affordable plant based diet and not fast food, like our whole society is built around the idea of making people think that they only have the time to go through fast food, that type of thing. So that’s a, that’s a hard thing to break walkable neighborhoods.

Yes. That’s amazing. Um, I’ve lived in very. Close to walkable neighborhoods. They’re just not walkable enough that it justifies getting in a car So, I mean, I don’t think that every region goes for that But I agree that that’s amazing as I was listening to it as like, oh, I need to go pick up a prescription at Walgreens I would usually get in my car and drive there, but it’s only like three blocks away So I I walk there so it is a little bit of a shift of like yeah, I can do that And then also the idea of regular connection With at least four more people on a regular basis, people who like legit have your back and that you can count on not just for people who, you go out drinking with or whatever that you may not know very well.

and also this idea of having a sense of purpose. So, uh, the podcast was really good enough that it makes me want to go. watched the Blue Zone on Netflix, although I’m so bad, I wanted to, like, finish my bottle of wine that I had in the fridge first, and also finish some cookies and stuff that my mom brought, because I was like, I know I’m gonna

[00:41:39] Missy: After I watch this, I won’t want them.

[00:41:42] Susanne: know, because you know me.

I’m gonna watch this show and be like, alright, all the meat is gone, no more wine, and blah blah blah. So. I wanted to finish my bottle of Chardonnay before I watch this show.

I should finish it while I’m watching this show. Uh, let’s see here. And then also I’ve been watching, uh, the Bake Off, the Professionals, which is like, it’s like the British Bake Off show, but it’s inside the building.

Instead of in the tent in the yard, it’s inside the building, which is kind of interesting because it’s small, the kitchen’s smaller. So they’re doing like six. People that they get down to a group of three, and then they have another group of six that gets down to three, and then they put those two threes.

Um, and so that has been very interesting. They have different hosts and different judges, which I just haven’t quite gotten the groove with yet. I don’t know. I don’t know. I like the other ones better. But, it’s very interesting because these are the professionals, not just the chef enthusiast kind of people.

But man, their stuff breaks a lot. I feel like… I feel like the amateurs, maybe, I don’t know, Chris insists, he’s like, I think they have more layers of creams and stuff that, so probably,

[00:42:53] Missy: They’re just trying to do such crazy things with food. Of course it breaks. Like,

[00:42:57] Susanne: every episode something is crashing and getting destroyed. And so I’m like, I thought you were pros, but anyway, that’s been fun to watch. and from watching that, I also learned where sesame seeds came from because last night they had a challenge with sesame seeds and both my husband and I just like looked at each other like.

Where do sesame seeds come from? I’ve never even thought about it. And they come out of a pot. It kind of looks like a little jalapeno. And I’ve done way too much research on sesame seeds. They’re very healthy. So, there you go. That is what I have learned. What about you, Ann? Have you been looking, learning anything?

[00:43:33] Anne: Yeah. I, um, so let’s see for look, I just finished. I was kind of reading two books simultaneously, but I finished, tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, which.

[00:43:42] Susanne: good.

[00:43:42] Anne: was very good and not what I kind of expected. I, I don’t know if anybody else, maybe this is just a me thing, I am part of the like a Facebook group that’s the Peloton Moms Book Club.

So it’s like thousands of women, and they post all the time about different books they’re reading. And so I just like anytime a book pops up, I put it in my like Libby app as a hold

request. And then it just sends me a book, and I just read whatever comes up next. And so sometimes it’s books that like, I didn’t expect to like as much as I did, which is this one.

Um, so I really enjoyed that. And then I also just finished, Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi. She wrote Homegoing a couple years ago, which I loved. This one was a little different, but I did enjoy it and it’s about a Ghanaian immigrant family and the two children one ends up dying from a oxy overdose and one goes on to study neuroscience and do research on addictions and so it’s like interesting from the biological perspective as well as like the family story. Um, so those were both good. I would definitely recommend, for listening. I, uh, I’ve been stuck on Boy Genius all summer, which is a kind of a indie super group where they, a couple indie musicians have all gotten together. And, uh, it’s, it’s a vibe. It’s definitely like a certain music, but I’ve really enjoyed them most of the summer.

Um,

[00:45:00] Missy: I have to look that

[00:45:01] Susanne: I know I’m gonna I’ve I feel like I’ve heard of that. So maybe Zoe or someone had someone cooler than me had them in their mix because it sounds kind of familiar.

[00:45:09] Anne: enough.

[00:45:09] Missy: I’m always looking for new stuff.

[00:45:10] Anne: Yeah, this song Strong Enough is my favorite. I think that’s probably the most popular one that they

[00:45:15] Susanne: Okay. I’m looking it up.

[00:45:16] Anne: Um, and then for learning right now, I’ve kind of, I’m almost always listening to a book on tape around leadership or psychology or something, you know, kind of a work related book. but right now I have kind of just begun with music because I’m trying to learn the ropes of being a parent of a high schooler because my oldest is starting high school and As I, you know, living when I practiced, I already messed up.

I, we, we planned a vacation this past week and I didn’t know there would be high school orientation. So we had to change our high school, or our plan to come back for orientation for a day and then leave again, which is fine. We were close by, but, um, I was like, all right, I think there’s going to probably be a lot of newness thrown at me in the next couple of weeks and I’ll let that be my learning for the time being.

[00:45:58] Susanne: oh, yeah, well, I

booked I booked our ACL Austin city limits tickets for the weekend of my daughter’s. She just started college her parents weekend at college.

[00:46:10] Anne: you go.

[00:46:11] Susanne: So, yes, I’m familiar with the idea of not checking schedules 1st and.

[00:46:15] Missy: There’s just too many schedules to keep track of.

[00:46:17] Susanne: Oh my gosh. And I think by the time this airs, ACL will be over. But if anybody has any weekend, uh, one tickets they want to swap for some weekend two tickets, they’ll be really excited. Okay, Missy, what about you? What do you look with and learn in?

[00:46:30] Missy: Okay. Let’s see. Well, I have been looking at the split. I’m watching it on Hulu. It’s a British show and it’s about a family of divorce lawyers who all have their own relationship stuff going on. and just a really lovely cast. Of course, it’s British shows have the best actors.

[00:46:46] Susanne: Oh, okay. I was wondering if it was like a documentary or if it was a, it’s a

[00:46:50] Missy: No, no, it’s yes. Yeah. Yeah. And like three seasons. Maybe that’s the other thing I love about British shows for the most part, unless we’re talking like Dr. Who for the most part, you’re not in for just years of commitment. Like it’s a little bit six to eight episodes a season and you know, and then you’re done.

I like that. Um, So I am enjoying that highly recommend it and I’m listening to Demon Copperhead, which has been a look, listen, learn of previous guests, I

[00:47:18] Susanne: me, I’d love that one.

[00:47:20] Missy: okay, I didn’t remember you. I was trying to remember if you had read it, um,

[00:47:24] Susanne: know, I go through so many books sometimes that I forget to mention some of them, but that one was one I really enjoyed.

[00:47:29] Missy: Yeah, it’s a long listen, like, you know, 20 something hours, not quite as long as the one you just

[00:47:34] Susanne: Oh my gosh, what was the one I just listened to? The water, the something of water.

[00:47:40] Missy: It’s like 30 something

[00:47:41] Susanne: it was 30 hours of water. Now I have to look it up on my phone.

[00:47:46] Missy: Yeah. I can’t look at how long they are. It discourages me. Not like I don’t have to do anything but passively listen, but I’m like, Oh, that’s a lot of hours.

Um,

[00:47:54] Susanne: of water, which I also do highly recommend, but whoo, build some time or listen to it at one and a half speed. I don’t know.

[00:48:01] Missy: Yeah. Demon Copperhead. I don’t, I’m having trouble listening with it sped up. Like I missed some of the nuances, I think,

[00:48:08] Susanne: Well, cause he does that accent.

[00:48:10] Missy: it’s yes, it is quite the thick

[00:48:12] Susanne: kind of disturbing because I don’t think it is his accent. Haha.

[00:48:15] Missy: Right, right. So, okay, I’m leaning over to get my, my learn. I just learned about these. These are Kizzik shoes

[00:48:24] Susanne: Look how cute those

[00:48:26] Missy: Z I K. Aren’t they so cute? Um, little lavender shoes, but they, you don’t actually ever do anything with the laces, the tongue, nothing. You just step right in them and go,

[00:48:37] Susanne: Were those from a Facebook ad? I’ve seen, I’ve seen those on Facebook ads.

[00:48:40] Missy: Oh, I don’t know.

A friend of mine mentioned them because I, by the time this we’re listening to this, I will be past this phase, I hope, but I won’t have a lot of range of motion for a little while after surgery and things like putting on my shoes is going to be difficult. So a friend of mine said, you need these. And I, of course.

Since I’ve been buying all the things lately, I was like, yes, I will order those, but I love them. They’re comfy and they’re cute. They have a million different styles and, they’re great. We’ve, my family’s been making fun of me. Cause I’m like, look at me put on my shoes with no hands. They’re like, you sound like a toddler,

[00:49:10] Susanne: Oh! I’m going to tell my friend Allison about those or any, uh, pregnant mothers out there who are having a hard time touching your toes and your feet. That’s a really great idea.

[00:49:20] Missy: slip and go

[00:49:21] Susanne: Yeah. I had a pair of those Converse, what are those, the Chukets or whatever, but they were like a slip on ones, and that’s all I wore my entire pregnancy with my son.

Like, that was it.

[00:49:32] Missy: I got big shoes. Like they were size or two, too big, you know? So I could just like clump my swollen feet and then, you know,

[00:49:39] Susanne: Well, I had to wear shoes. I couldn’t wear sandals. I had to wear shoes because I had to wear those dang thigh high compression stockings. So not only did I have to wear shoes, I had to wear like, well, I didn’t have to, I made the choice because those things do not make your legs look natural. It’s not like pantyhose.

Oh my gosh, luckily I was pregnant with both my kids in Seattle. If I had to do that in Texas, I would move. I would literally just pack all my bags and move, so. Oh, well, that’s a great tip. I’m going to check those out for myself, just out of pure laziness, not wanting

[00:50:12] Missy: I mean, yeah, you don’t have to have like mobility issues to like them. They’re great. And they’re good for those quick. Like I just got to run outside and get something real quick and pop your shoes on.

[00:50:20] Susanne: very cool.

[00:50:22] Missy: All right. Well, thank you so much. And this was great.

[00:50:26] Anne: I had a great time. Thanks for having me.

[00:50:28] Susanne: okay. Say your website again, just for everybody so they can go, uh,

[00:50:31] Anne: www.drannwelsh.com and they can also find me at Dr. Ann Welsh on LinkedIn or, Dr. Dot, uh, Welsh Do coaching on Instagram.

[00:50:42] Susanne: Alright, terrific. Well, thank you so much. Such a pleasure to meet you. So much great information.

Look at, well, these are messy. I took a lot of notes. Look at me. That’s a good sign when I’m like, we always joke when we take notes, it’s serious because you know, we listened to this again, like 300 times while we’re editing it and doing show notes and stuff. But if we have to take notes on the spot, that means

That’s when you’re like, I really

[00:51:05] Missy: do not

[00:51:05] Susanne: stuff. Yeah. So thank you. Really appreciate your time today and happy Labor Day.

[00:51:11] Anne: Thank you. You as well. Bye.

[00:51:13] Susanne: All

[00:51:13] Missy: for being here on your holiday.

[00:51:15] Susanne: Yes.

All

right. Have a great week, everybody.

Thank you so much for joining us for the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show today. And if you know someone else who could benefit from today’s episode, be sure to share it with them. Also, please subscribe and rate us wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find links to all the things we discussed today in the show notes over at our website, momandpodcast.

com with the A N D spelled out. In between shows, you can find us at the socials, including our private mom and community Facebook group. You can find links to the group.

Thank you so much for your support. We appreciate you so much. Now go out there and make your ellipses count.

The post Navigating Motherhood, Careers, and Well-being with Dr. Anne Welsh appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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January 25, 2024 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 133 / Guest: Emily A. Hay

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Show Summary:

In this episode of the Mom &… Podcast, hosts Susanne Kerns and Missy Stevens discuss various aspects of motherhood, juggling work and family, and high school parenting with their guest, Emily A. Hay, a passionate advocate for flexible work opportunities for women. Emily, a relentless creator of flexible job opportunities for women shares her vision behind her business Hay There Social Media, her journey towards being self-employed, and her insight on how freelancing and upskilling can be empowering. The discussion also emphasizes the importance of regular health check-ups, narrating a personal experience of a timely diagnosed health issue.

Looking for the link to 20% off and Free Shipping on Upskilling in a Box? Click here and use the code: haytheremomand

Topics From This Episode:

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast

00:03 Meet the Hosts: Susanne and Missy

00:58 Introducing the Guest: Emily Hay

02:21 Emily’s Journey into Freelancing

04:55 The Benefits and Challenges of Freelancing

05:18 Understanding the Freelancing Terminology

09:49 The Importance of Upskilling

14:12 Exploring Social Media Management as a Freelance Career

30:45 Exploring Social Media Courses

31:13 The Importance of Training in Social Media

32:08 Exploring Job Opportunities in Social Media

34:16 The Value of Upskilling and Building Relationships

35:07 Look, Listen, Learn Segment

35:37 Sharing Personal Stories and Experiences

47:54 The Importance of Regular Health Check-ups

52:42 The Impact of Freelancing and Upskilling

53:43 Wrapping Up the Conversation

Look, Listen, Learns

Susanne:

The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese
Learning about mattress toppers for college dorm rooms (you really just have to listen), and also making sure you are prepared for the moment you go viral on social media

Emily

Shark Tank
Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Fair Play documentary (featuring Emily!)

Missy

Mary Oliver poetry
Suits
Get your mammogram!

More About Emily A. Hay:

Emily A. Hay is a relentless creator of flexible work opportunities for women since 2010. She lives smack dab in what she has dubbed “Work+Life Integration Nation.”

After the early part of her sales career in corporate America, she paved her own way by using social media as her vehicle. For nine years, Emily has led Hay There Social Media, a business she founded that delivers social media marketing services.

Like most women, Emily was challenged by early motherhood. By staying organized and proactive, she began to revel in the small daily victories all moms celebrate to get the fulfillment we all crave.

Connect with Emily Hay:

Upskilling in a Box – get 20% off and free shipping! Click this link and use the code: haytheremomand – https://haytheresocialmedia.com/?ref=momandpodcast
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/haytheresocialmedia/
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/HayThereSocialMedia
Linkedin – https://www.linkedin.com/company/hay-there-social-media
Website – https://haytheresocialmedia.com/
TikTok – https://www.tiktok.com/@emilyahay
YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/user/haytheresocialmedia

Connect With the Mom &… Podcast

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Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

[00:00:00] Susanne: Welcome to the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. The podcast that helps you make your ellipses count.You know, all the little dot, dot, dots that come after I’m a mom and. I’m Suzanne Kearns, mom and dot, dot, dot, writer, LGBTQ, and sex ed advocate. And this week, a mom adjusting to life after college drop off. She’s, she has flown away. My little birdie, she’s in She’s in a much better place where it is not 104 degrees.Are we all so jealous? Well, I’m Missy Stevens, mom and dot, dot, dot, writer, foster child advocate. And this week trying to remember that I have two high schoolers. I literally keep forgetting that the youngest is in high school. We’ll be talking about things. And in my mind, he is mentally still in middle school, but he’s a freshman and it doesn’t seem real, but it’s awesome.Oh my gosh. They’re growing up our [00:01:16] Missy: I know. I know.[00:01:18] Susanne: Oh, and this week we are so excited. Our guest is Emily Hay and Emily is a relentless creator of flexible work opportunities for women since 2010. She lives smack dab in what she has dubbed work plus life integration nation, which as a newly employed woman, I am.Feeling in a very big way. We’re going to be talking [00:01:40] Missy: bet you are. [00:01:41] Susanne: But after the early part of her sales career in corporate America, she paved her own way by using social media as her vehicle. And for nine years, Emily has led, Hey there, social media, a business she founded that delivers social media marketing services.Like most women, Emily was challenged by early motherhood, but by staying organized and proactive, she began to revel in the small daily victories that all moms celebrate to get the fulfillment that we all crave, which leads us to living work plus life integration nation, which we’ll get to you in a minute, but first welcome.We’re so glad you’re here. I[00:02:17] Emily: Thank you. Hey there, ladies. It’s awesome to be here.[00:02:20] Susanne: like, Hey there. Hey there.[00:02:22] Missy: it. I love it. Well, we’re excited. You’re here. We’re excited to see you, even if it’s only virtual. We met you briefly at the mom 2. 0 summit, which so many of our guests we have met that way. It’s an amazing opportunity. If anybody’s thinking about going and we were so fortunate that we just happened to sit down at the same table where you were[00:02:40] Emily: know. That was so great.[00:02:42] Missy: It was fantastic. So we would love if you could share a little more about your bio, kind of an Emily 1 0 1 on snapshot of your career in life and how you got to where you are now.[00:02:53] Emily: Sure. Thank you again, ladies. I’m so excited to be here. I am certainly a mom and dot, dot, dot, uh, wife, entrepreneur, small business owner, as you said, you know, relentless creator of flexible job opportunities for women. That is certainly my thing. uh, in, in a nutshell, I. I grew up with two working parents.I feel like I always understood that, that my household economics relied on my mom’s income. I also knew that my mom never really appreciated that. She had a very rigid work schedule, and so I felt like someday if I could figure out how to have flexibility, then I would be doing better for my family than she felt she did.So it really lit that entrepreneurial fire for me. Um, went to school for marketing, got a job in sales, learned a little bit about corporate America, and then it was really becoming a social media freelancer, you know, social media marketing person, um, around 2009. That was my entry into the entrepreneurial highway.And fast forward a decade after being a mom and a business owner. My company took a pivot just before the pandemic, where we really said, okay, we understand how to do this, this social media marketing thing, you know, for small business owners, they are clients. And what do you know? I got the ability to work flexibly.And so how can I take that and teach it to other women, primarily moms all across the country that are looking for a flexible way to work[00:04:19] Missy: Awesome.[00:04:20] Susanne: it. Yeah. [00:04:21] Emily: that in a nutshell, did that cover it?[00:04:22] Susanne: That really, that really does and social media freelancing is actually how I got back into the workforce a few years ago. it’s so funny to think that I was paid to be a social media expert because now there’s been so many advancements, even in the past 4 years that I feel like I was a pro back then, but now I’m, I’m still catching up.Um, but. But I was able to do that once my second kiddo started school. so I really love that idea that you say that when you freelance you don’t have a resume gap. Because I felt that way as I was applying for my current job that I’m doing. That, you know, I feel like it’s a get because I have not had a job where I’m like going into an office or that is a traditional, you know, nine to five type job, but when I really looked at it on my resume, I was like, Oh, okay.Yeah, this, this doesn’t look so bad. No wonder. I feel like I’m ready to do this. So, for some moms that may have some free time now that are considering, you know, the kids are going back to school right now and they’re thinking, I want to do something, but I don’t quite know what. Can you explain what freelancing means?I think a lot of us think of freelance writers and stuff and don’t know what that means as a day to day job. So what, can you explain that a little bit?[00:05:40] Emily: sure. And that’s, that’s so wild to hear just how personal it is with you, you know, that it resonates personally that term. And I think we are at a point where we all know that words do matter. And, um, you know, I, I did a post on LinkedIn not too long ago where I said, okay, So let’s unpack this. If you are an entrepreneur, you are self employed.If you are a freelance professional, you are self employed. So is an entrepreneur the same as a freelancer? If you are a freelancer, do you call yourself an entrepreneur? Just this whole, like, I was literally asking folks on LinkedIn, like, how would you describe yourself? And even though I have been a self employed professional for over a decade, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a conversation with someone when they say, what do you do that?I said, I’m an entrepreneur. I just felt comfort and well, I, you know, I, I, I do work freelance, you know, I have a freelance agency, but the funny thing is that that Susanne Messy is that for the longest time I never led with freelance. I was, I was scared that it was, you know, inferior, um, or would show that I wasn’t a real, you know, air quote, a real entrepreneur.So I have over the last. I don’t know, six, eight months just enjoyed just doing my own, you know, studying of how people respond to that term. And I do have people say things like, oh, well, I did think freelance was just. Photographers or just writers. I prefer consultant. So and I feel like consultant sits well with a lot of folks that have a strong corporate background.They go out on their own and they might not say I’m an entrepreneur. They certainly won’t say they’re a freelancer, but they’ll say like I’m a consultant. And so I’m just going through these terms because it’s something that for the longest time I really hid and I Always worked from home and as a social media freelance professional, I had a team, but they were contractors.They were also freelancers. And so I really liked the term of boutique agency and that’s how I would describe, Hey there for the longest time. But now it’s. We’ve got this tailwind right of the future of work and freelancing is no longer, just the minority it’s mainstream and businesses are seeing the benefit of freelancing.So I’m really trying to lean into, you know, what it means to freelance and back to your original point when you are freelancing. You are actively working. You are not plagued by that resume gap. I know I’m probably oversimplifying, but freelance work is an active working experience that can really remove that that stigma[00:08:09] Missy: it’s, I love that distinction And I want to talk a little bit also about what are some of the other benefits? So you have this, whatever you call it, if you’re freelancing, what are the benefits this really offers moms who are looking for that flexibility? Like most of us are.[00:08:24] Emily: Sure, and that’s another reason why I feel like freelance is just a great term you get that flexibility you get that professional fulfillment, hopefully financial gain is also part of that. So when when you’re doing freelance work, I mean that can. That can give you the flexibility of taking on as many or as few project as you would like.and that can be something where you might tie that to a number of hours per week that you’d like to work. or you could tie it to, you know, Hey, I’m really looking to make at least X per month. And you don’t necessarily say how many clients that equates to or, um, hours. I mean, there are certainly projects out there and I feel like we could have a whole episode about this, but just the whole model of.Billing for a value exchange, not necessarily an hourly sort of exchange. Um, so it can give you that flexibility of just amount of time. you can hit certain revenue thresholds. my, my business partner and I, we did do an article for fast company, um, not too long ago, where as much of a freelance advocate as I am, there are certainly.dangers in telling someone to air quote, you know, just go freelance because it sounds so easy. Like all you need is a laptop and a wifi connection. You should be earning it like that. And it’s, it’s not like that. So the last thing I want to do is just make it sound like it is literally open your laptop and head to, you know, Upwork and you’re.Boom, you’re earning all the money you could possibly make, but it is just such an empowering way to start with the skills that you have and then start to see, well, I have a marketing sales background, but I’m seeing a lot of jobs for social media marketers or people that, you know, are looking for specific business development roles that are flexible.and then you can, you know, get further into those sorts of specialties.[00:10:05] Susanne: Yeah, as someone who recently was going through a lot of, job listings and looking through and seeing what was available out there. I certainly did see a ton of social media, you know, manager type positions out there. So they’re definitely.I think that’s I think that’s a really good point. But what I have just realized in the past month or so is I’m really getting into the groove of working again is that freelancing or contracting or whatever we’re calling it is. Really helping one of my quirky personality work personality traits is that I will just give it all like I will just work.I will work until like I either of my husband drags me away from the computer or whatever. I just, I’ve learned that about me interviewing coaches over the past three years and identifying what are those work traits that I have that I need to be able to build boundaries around or just even understand and be aware of.But I have also discovered that when I have a certain number of hours that I am contracted to work on a client for, if I’m like, okay, I’m going to be working on them for 15 hours. one of my other quirks is that I would never do anything to like waste my client’s money or to not be really good stewards of their resources.And so those two things balance off each other so well because I’m like, okay, I have 15 hours and it keeps me the Suzanne me that wants to like work instead 50 hours for them to be like, no, I can’t do that because that would. Go over their budget or whatever the case or not to be the best use of their money.So it’s been this really great kind of the bookends of the two sides of Suzanne that could go out of control in a regular full time job where I’m not really thinking about things on an hour to hour basis. And I’m just like, Oh, this, this is what, makes sense. Like if I thought about going back full time, I think I would be at that risk of, I can already feel it where I’d be like, I’ll just put one more hour in on this.I could, I could really. You know, I could really button it up if I put one more hour, um, so anyway, if you feel yourself or you recognize that you have similar traits, think about the positive side from that aspect as well. I found it really beneficial.[00:12:30] Emily: Got it. It gives you some guardrails.[00:12:32] Susanne: I, yes, and I need them.[00:12:35] Missy: Yeah,[00:12:36] Emily: I, I think that’s a great point. I also will say, you know, maybe with the caveat of not, Oh, just overextend yourself to the point of, you know, having no boundary, but if as a freelancer, you do go maybe over an hour or you just give it a little extra oomph, I feel like those are the intangibles that keep your clients happy.It just shows you’re an extra miler. It just, I think lends itself to having the same clients for a long time. And that’s something that I’ve always. You know, we really do advocate like it, the old adage, like it’s harder to get a new customer than to just keep your current one. So, you can be rewarded by being, you know, the extra miler even within freelance parameters.[00:13:16] Susanne: Yes.[00:13:16] Missy: Yeah, sure[00:13:18] Susanne: But I, so as I do know personally now that one of the scary parts of freelancing can be that you are giving up benefits. I did not have any benefits to start with because I was just, I was just volunteering my hours away. but especially health insurance. That is a big one. So what. Other things, aside from the obviously health insurance, should people be thinking of if they are coming from a full time job where they have all these benefits, if they’re thinking of streamlining things, going, freelance that.They need to make sure that they’re having those conversations with their partner or with themselves and their bank account and what does that look like?[00:13:56] Emily: Sure. Yeah. So I, I would say one of the pitfalls of being a freelance professional, or again, an entrepreneur, is it can be a lonely sport. I mean, anytime, you know, you maybe work from home, you know, the coffee shop life, all of that, that’s so in vogue and normal right now. Well, that can get tiresome.I mean, to miss the camaraderie, the ability to bounce things off of people, um, where you offset that is, The blessings of 2023 that we live in this virtual world where they’re all there are plenty of online communities. that’s one of the things that we have built into our foundation is, is no lonely freelancers like it just to be able to talk pricing or how you would handle a situation with a client.I think that’s at least worth mentioning because it is so empowering to think, Oh, I just need the knowledge I have and I can just name my price and I can get right to work. Well, yeah. Sometimes it can be quite lonely.[00:14:46] Missy: that is something to think about and another nuts and bolts thing that it’s always hard for me I really stunk at it when I was having to do it on a regular basis is taxes So you have to set part of your paycheck aside and you have to pay them at a certain time. So for other moms who are listening and thinking, I’m going to DIY my way through this part of the financial side of it.What do you recommend? Are there resources, groups, books that can help them so that they don’t make that mistake of like, whoops, I forgot to pay my taxes [00:15:16] Susanne: Yeah, and what percent [00:15:17] Missy: a whole lot. Yeah,[00:15:19] Emily: Yeah. I mean, you, you’re, you are certainly bringing up from benefits to, to taxes. I mean, obviously these are important factors that go into being a, being a freelance professional and enjoying it. and not feeling like it just isn’t worth it to have all of those things. So I am not a tax professional.What I will say is I truly enjoyed learning about fractional CFOs, you know, just the term fractional. I remember going down this rabbit hole on LinkedIn or just looking up. Well, I. I’ve had an accountant before. I’ve even had a bookkeeper before, but I’ve never had someone help my business in a CFO type role.And so here we are in this, you know, air quotes again, gig economy, um, where there are, there are professionals that you could never afford as a freelance professional to be a CFO, um, on your staff, but you can leverage someone that’s a fractional professional in that space. I listened to all kinds of podcasts.by by tax professionals, and then you find out that they have a bookkeeping business. and again, I’m used to charging monthly retainers and working in that capacity. So, it certainly aligns to hire a fellow entrepreneur that can offer some of that advice. So I hate to disappoint Missy and say that I am not your expert, your go to person on the tax side of things.But that is that is certainly a prudent thing to keep in mind.[00:16:33] Missy: Yeah.[00:16:33] Susanne: Oh I[00:16:34] Missy: Yeah, I lovethis term fractional CFO. I’ve never, I’ve never heard it called[00:16:39] Emily: good. Oh, now you’ll see it everywhere.[00:16:41] Susanne: Oh, my [00:16:41] Missy: see it everywhere and it just brings up a great point and it’s something we talk about a lot. We all need other people, whether it’s a coach to help you get going or a professional who knows something more about whatever it is you’re trying to do.None of us have all the pieces of every puzzle. So there’s no shame in reaching out and getting help. And if it’s, I don’t know how to do the financial side, or I don’t know how to structure benefits or what to do if I don’t have corporate benefits, like go find somebody who does know.[00:17:13] Susanne: Oh, Missy. Actually, I needed to really hear that because we are, I mean, I am getting paid as not our LLC. Missy and I have an LLC together. She’s in my will, but we, uh, but my husband and I have, well, he has a couple of LLCs, but we have one that I’m actually getting paid through. So like when I bill the agency that I am doing freelance work for or contract work for, I am billing them as. Um, and so I’m sure there’s all kinds of other implications for that, that we’re not aware of from a tax standpoint, whatever. So, yes, I’m going to tell my husband. He actually used to be an accountant when I first met him, which [00:17:57] Emily: well,[00:17:58] Susanne: which shocks everybody. He’s what is my husband not done? He’s amazing.Um, but so he knows a little bit of it, but I think maybe we need to, you know, We need to reach out. We need to be vulnerable and ask for help for some of these things.[00:18:10] Emily: sure. And I guess the one thing I will say, again, this is not to be misconstrued as like sweeping this very important topic under the rug, but. As women, I think it’s in our nature to what if ourselves to the point that you never get going. And so I feel like, yeah, so if there is, if you were even interested in taking on one freelance project, do not say to yourself, well, I don’t know the tax implications.I don’t have an LLC. I don’t, what if this nevermind? I just won’t, I won’t nevermind. So there’s my, my little[00:18:42] Susanne: Yes. Because even though I’m doing that for this round, when I was doing freelance work for the social media freelance work several years ago, that was just as Suzanne Kearns, I decided to do it on a Tuesday and I was working on a Wednesday and,[00:18:57] Missy: that[00:18:57] Susanne: and yeah, and, and everything worked out fine. So yeah, just driving home that same point. You don’t necessarily have to. We just happen to have an LLC, so we’re doing it that way. And[00:19:08] Emily: Which is right. Yeah. Me too. Long time LLC holder here. Remember?[00:19:13] Susanne: And also, I am lucky that I happen to be freelancing in a field where I’ve Tons of experience. And so I’m doing advertising, marketing stuff again. but for someone who is interested in doing some freelancing in something that maybe is a new field for them, where do they start dipping their toes into that?Do you have any recommendations?[00:19:34] Emily: Sure. So I, one of the ways that I built my business, was I’m laughing because I’m thinking ahead. I, I looked at a business I wanted to work with and I offered to do their work for free. Like full mic drop where people say, wait, we’re in this era of charging what we’re worth and don’t be taken advantage and don’t give away your skills.You got to get started somewhere and to be able to do the work test what I like test the services. I wanted to do, figure out how the client valued those. Come up with the price point and ultimately be able to walk away with two things out of it. A darn good testimonial, you know, something you can put on your website, something you can put as a LinkedIn recommendation, a willingness to refer other prospective clients back to that person who cares.I’m sorry, I’m probably overcompensating saying who cares if it was a free project like you get a lot of intangibles out of that experience. and then the other part is. That is a portfolio. I mean, people, I think it up in their heads about portfolios being really complicated and needing a lot of time to, to make a portfolio project, but that is simply taking what you did and making it visual, whether you throw it into a PowerPoint or you take some screenshots and a word doc and make it a nice PDF.It’s just something to send to that first perspective client. To justify why you’re billing them or, or proposing a certain fee. So that would be the, the shortest advice I give is do the work you want to do for a duration for the ideal client at no charge in exchange for testimonial.[00:21:08] Susanne: Oh, I love that idea, which I know that is hard because we, especially as writers, like, usually get asked to do things for free or for exposure or that type of thing. But I think if we kind of flip this idea of Like, we encourage moms to do volunteer work to help fill their resume and build those skills.So consider this volunteering for yourself. Like, or, you know, um, so I think that, yeah, as long as you don’t like year after year continue along[00:21:37] Emily: Of[00:21:38] Missy: Right. That’s a, that’s a limited[00:21:39] Susanne: it is, it is a limited engagement.[00:21:41] Missy: Yeah.[00:21:42] Emily: No way. And we’ve seen that happen to Suzanne that And I say, we, you know, the, the women that we train, that we say. If this is a test client, then give a formal proposal, give your price, cross out the fee, say, I am waiving it in exchange for, and this is what I want out of this.And this is what the fee will be after this many weeks or this many months. So having formal parameters around it, no, do not take that as I certainly would never tell someone like, Oh, just do it for free as long as that person’s happy. And yes. So, but I know the advice, trust me, I love empowering women and I never want women to not.Make what they’re worth, but you have to start somewhere, and that can be a good way to do it.[00:22:23] Missy: Right. Well, speaking of building skills, you use the word upskilling a lot. what, what is that? What is that and how do we do it?[00:22:32] Emily: Upskilling, such a fancy, fancy, trendy phrase, right? Well, it’s actually not that trendy. Upskilling is simply acquiring or polishing one’s skills. So whether you work at a company and you are going through an upskilling program, like a formal training program, or if you are heading to free YouTube and watching some videos on the weekends, you know, learning how to do Things on email marketing that you didn’t know before it’s, it’s just acquiring new skills or updating your current skills.And I think that to me, that really makes it less intimidating for a number of reasons. One, not a huge cost or time investment. number two, it isn’t a long term commitment. Like I am now going to study all of these SEO videos with the intent of being an SEO expert forever and ever. Amen. Just[00:23:18] Susanne: it’s funny. You bring up it’s funny. You bring up that topic. Even when I was at an agency, I was like, thank God we have a department that does SEO. I will never.[00:23:26] Missy: SEO does seem like this weird nebulous thing, and just when you think you’ve got it, you find a new video or article that’s like, now this is what you have to do for SEO. And it just, ah,[00:23:38] Susanne: okay, so I digress. Sorry.[00:23:40] Emily: No, no,it’s good. [00:23:41] Susanne: favorite topics to just not [00:23:43] Missy: it’s a hair puller.[00:23:44] Emily: Well, that makes sense. But I mean, think about, I mean, I, I, I study so much, you know, with resume gaps and return to work. And so some of the other prudent advice is if you have a gap in your resume, or you’re looking to change careers or whatever that might be a show that you have done something in the meantime.And if that isn’t freelance work, it can be, I’ve picked up some additional skills. and again, digital era. You can go through LinkedIn learning and get certifications. Like my company offers a certification. There are all kinds of ways to, to show in a formal way, that you have obtained new skills.And it again, speaks to what one has spent doing, with their time. And I don’t know, you know, Suzanne, you talk about being a power volunteer. I mean, I am all for, and love this movement of including all of the. More air quotes soft skills, you know, all of the things that one acquires when they do volunteer work.There’s it’s not like it doesn’t count Just because you were in a volunteer role. So having that on your, on your resume as well, super useful stuff.[00:24:44] Susanne: Yeah, especially knowing how to spin it, but I think you bring up a good point because we were going to say that. mom’s, unfortunately, usually think about upscaling, like the week before they’re going to start a job search. It’s like, or even while they’re doing the job search, like, Oh, it would have been nice if I had done this.So, how can moms then be thinking about that? It’s so. Because, you know, we’re coming here, like, Missy’s got the two in high school. My son, even though he’s still in middle school, is pretty self sufficient. So we, we’re looking at things through a little bit of a different lens right now. It’s like, oh, sure, I’ve got this time in my schedule that I could go take this class or, you know, look at the LinkedIn video, that type of thing.But for those ones that still have the littles running around, who are maybe trying to fit stuff in between nap times and that type of thing, do you have any tips of Would it be like those LinkedIn courses? What type of things that they could be doing to start exploring, upskilling, or learning, even learning about what they want to be learning about?[00:25:41] Emily: Sure. I mean, again, I, I go back to just dabbling in what you might already have skills in. So if you, you know, maybe you consider yourself a visual person and, learning Canva, like I’ve seen so many women just Do amazing things with that tool. before you know it, you learn like, oh, I can make videos on Canva.And then before you know it, you’ve made enough videos on Canva that you say, well, I just read a job description that talked about someone being a video creator. Like just create video content for a social media account. Um, but I, I guess I would just encourage moms of littles and my mine are seven and nine, so I certainly.Still feel in the little camp, but I totally understand. It’s not the sleepless night phase. Um, I feel like I have some bandwidth now. Um, just, just follow your curiosity. And I hear so many women, whether it’s. I never thought I had any skills to freelance or I didn’t know social media manager was a thing like I didn’t I didn’t know those were things.I didn’t know that you could get paid to create content for a brand, just like ad hoc like it paid per per video so I think just going down those rabbit holes and seeing what other people are up to and then it’s a good way to just learn what’s out there. To see your, like, your menu options. And then, um, from there, figure out, Okay, well, if I want to be the video creator, what do I need to know how to do?And how can I go teach myself by playing on Canva?[00:26:59] Missy: Right. Yeah. We love Canva.[00:27:01] Susanne: You’re, you’re not the first person who has recommended Canva as something that people should be spending their time with, because we’ve talked about, oh, you can make your Christmas cards with it. You can do birthday invitations with it, but that is how, when I was doing the, what was the role, like the advertising role of our PTA at the elementary school, that’s when I started playing around with Canva, and it is, it was just for this little volunteer role I was doing, but before I knew it, I was You know, whipping up logos and whipping up, other stuff that we’re doing for my informed parents of Austin group.So, yeah, I did not think I had a creative, like, visual bone in my body, but I was like, Oh, okay. But [00:27:37] Missy: Hannah makes it [00:27:38] Susanne: with a little help from Canva, I can do it too.[00:27:41] Missy: Yeah. And I started doing it the same way through like volunteering and now I do it all the time and love it.[00:27:47] Emily: Well, it’s just a huge part of like, it’s a, it’s a main requirement as a social media manager, right? You’re creating content. So to be able to know how to use a tool like Canva, I feel like our episode, our, your episodes should be, it should be sponsored by[00:28:01] Susanne: I know it should. Hey[00:28:03] Missy: Hello, Canva. We talk about you all the time.[00:28:06] Susanne: can you pay for our membership?[00:28:08] Emily: Yes.[00:28:09] Missy: I want to talk a little bit more about social media management. So, hey, there, social media really focuses on freelancing and social media. But what does that even mean if somebody is listening and they’re like, all I know from social media is that sometimes I post a picture of my kids on Instagram. What does this even mean?[00:28:26] Emily: Thanks, Missy. So that, that’s it. Let’s be honest. We all know how to use social media. It’s just. Becoming confident enough with the skills you have to know that a business will pay you to do that for them. So that’s one of the reasons I love social media manager roles, you know, being a freelance social media manager is because you have the opportunity to work with businesses of all sizes.You can work with the smallest business owner. That’s an author that says, I know I need to be on Instagram. I want to get into this book talk thing on tech talk, but I don’t, I don’t know where to. So that could be a really small scope of work for one author where you’re helping that author with her to, you know, social networks.Um, so being a social media manager, you get to work with small businesses. You can subcontract. That I remember was a big, you know, when you think of like, Your growth, your business growth over the years. That was one of those like big, big jumps for my business when I learned about subcontracting and maybe I was too linear with, um, okay, so businesses will hire me contract me directly, but you mean an agency would contract me to help work on their projects.And this is where I feel like you ladies have had plenty of experience,[00:29:30] Susanne: that’s what I’m doing. That [00:29:32] Emily: Yes, it’s such a cool way to work. So you get to work on bigger projects, maybe bigger budget projects. You get to be a member of a team. So, I mean, jump on in with that, but that is something too, that social media managers are needed to, staff, you know, agencies too.[00:29:47] Susanne: Yeah. I’ll do a little pitch for my agency, Creative Noggin in San Antonio, and they, it was founded by a mom. It has even before COVID, like for the past 10 years, it’s all been virtual. And people are located all over the country and everybody, you know, makes it work via zoom and it’s really nice.It’s primarily cautious at all women. I think it is and mostly moms and, you know, we’ll have our little in out Skype when people are coming in and out and everybody will be like, I got to go pick up my kid at the bus stop. I got to do to do. I’ll be right back. And it’s just so nice that there’s just this.That’s. Yeah. The energy that the whole company is built around is this understanding that there’s dentist appointments, there’s pickups, there’s sick kids, and we have the flexibility around that. So, um, so [00:30:33] Emily: that work life integration.[00:30:36] Susanne: Oh my gosh, let’s see, are we getting close to the, we’re getting so close to the end.[00:30:40] Missy: but we have a little bit more time.[00:30:41] Susanne: We do have a little bit more time. Okay.[00:30:44] Emily: I love chatting with you ladies. Thanks.[00:30:45] Susanne: oh, my gosh, it’s been so much fun. Well, okay, so I do want to, um, for listeners who are thinking that this sounds interesting, but they want to just do a little bit more research for themselves, would love any recommendations that you have there.And then the ones who are ready are like, yeah, I want to jump in and learn more about what hey, their media, social media has, what are those 2 things we can help those listeners with?[00:31:07] Emily: thanks Suzanne. So we, our website, heytheresocialmedia. com and it’s H A Y, um, that you’ll see that we offer two courses. We just launched our, our, upskilling in a box. Um, so this is our light version of our training. We have our signature training that we’ve been offering for a few years, and that is, uh, our more in depth six week program.Won’t make it a total, hey there commercial, but I’m excited about the light version that is literally like just hitting, hitting doorsteps after Labor Day. [00:31:34] Missy: Exciting.[00:31:35] Emily: thank you. I mean, training is very intangible, right? And it’s not always that exciting. So we felt like, how can we make it physical and how can we make it something that You know, you can can literally order and have sent your way.Um, so all the details would be there. But I mean, I am happy if more women see the potential in freelance careers, and it doesn’t have to be the rest of your life, you know, use it to get yourself moving out of a certain season of motherhood, use it as a way to Dabble in projects that you were wondering if you would like, and then you find out and not so much, but you can’t go wrong with social media because of it being such an in demand field.And so even if you use it as, you know, a launch pad into something else or into a more more full time or a part time role at a company, I just see, I see it work every day for women. So I’m obviously, uh, I’m very biased. Um, I, I’m a proponent of it from what I see every day.[00:32:30] Susanne: now I agree. And I do encourage people if you’re like, oh, sure, that sounds nice, but is there really stuff out there? Go, just go to, what are those websites called? I finally got a job now I can’t remember.[00:32:43] Emily: Oh, like in Indeed or, okay, yeah,[00:32:46] Susanne: or go to one[00:32:47] Missy: Yeah. Search the listings and just see what’s out[00:32:49] Susanne: Yeah. And go see.[00:32:51] Emily: I mean, that’s a, that’s a freelance marketplace, you know, The Mom Project, We Are Rosie, um, Opre, there are plenty of places to at least start to just see, you know, like you mentioned Indeed, you know, where these, these opportunities are and how they’re described and what they need you to do.And remember the classic advice of like, don’t sit and not apply just because you don’t meet all the criteria.[00:33:11] Susanne: yes. Or if you really don’t meet, I mean, because, oh, who did we talk to about that?[00:33:17] Missy: Breyer,[00:33:18] Susanne: It was probably Breyer, [00:33:19] Missy: like you needed like 50% of the things or something. Yeah.[00:33:23] Susanne: yeah, but even if you, so if you do look at that, you’re like, I don’t even hit the 50%, you know, I, you’re[00:33:29] Missy: Then think like a man who would be like, I actually don’t know any of this, but I think I should be your CEO.[00:33:34] Susanne: No, but that probably is the point, because you don’t want to go blow, you don’t want to go blow your first shot out there. So, I mean, but that does then drive home the point then, okay, go do some of the additional training. Go see what, hey, their social media has available. If some of those roles sound interesting, but you’re like, I can’t even do the 50%.I’m assuming that, hey, their media, social media is going to get you way past the 50% so that you are ready to actually apply for some of those jobs after not. And this isn’t like a, now I sound like a commercial. This isn’t like a two year program or anything. I mean, how quickly could people really be up and running and applying for some jobs after training?[00:34:11] Emily: we, so with our, with our core training, our signature, we’ve had women, it lasts six weeks, but it’s, um, a very light.we’ve had women start earning before they finished their six weeks. Um, and again, we talk about portfolio projects and maybe a start of a free project and then you start a small paid or you start with a small paid and you move into medium. So, um, it’s it’s certainly something that we see and could talk, talk to various examples if anyone’s interested.[00:34:39] Susanne: Yeah, and I’m thinking about that as we like, we’re talking about volunteering or doing those free jobs. I like, maybe there is, cause I’m, I’m thinking authors, you use an author as an example before those are people who notoriously do not have like tons of money flowing for social media stuff. But if you have a favorite author or a favorite someone that you’re like, you know what?That would be a fun relationship to build and be like, Hey, do you need some help with your social media? I see that you’ve got a new book coming out or whatever. Let me help you or whatever. I think that could be a really fun way to volunteer. You’re volunteering for them, but you’re volunteering for yourself.You’re getting some, you’re upskilling and then probably building a really interesting relationship with someone that you like. So yeah, I think that’s a cool idea. It could be a business, it could be a person, it could be a whatever that go see if they need some help and if they can help you get to that next step.[00:35:26] Emily: Well, I’m glad that resonate. Thanks, Suzanne.[00:35:28] Susanne: Yeah. Okay.[00:35:29] Missy: I hope some of our listeners go out there and look into it, but now it is time for look, listen, learns. We’re getting close to our hour. so anybody who’s new here, we’re really excited you’re here. We hope you will come back next week and the week after that. Uh, then every show we spend a few minutes just talking about our look, listen, learns.It can be really serious stuff. It can be really goofy stuff. It can be a new lipstick, just whatever you’re doing, learning, thinking about this week and we don’t like our guests to be in the hot seat first. So Suzanne is going first.[00:35:59] Susanne: Okay. I think even though we recorded our last episode like a month ago, I think I was still listening to this same book. The Covenant of Water. It’s not short. It’s not a short book.[00:36:12] Missy: Yeah. Wait, how many hours did you say it was?[00:36:14] Susanne: 30?[00:36:15] Missy: Yeah. It made me cry. It’s too much.[00:36:17] Susanne: It’s I mean, it was really funny. Well, this is another thing I’ve been looking at Pretty much the entire country as we drove from Austin to Rochester to go drop her daughter off at college But I was telling my husband I was like even if I listened to this book for every minute of this road trip It would still not be over like[00:36:37] Emily: Way to keep yourself motivated, Suzanne.[00:36:39] Missy: Right. All right.[00:36:41] Susanne: But we did,[00:36:42] Missy: long.[00:36:43] Susanne: no, but I don’t, but I do not want to convey that it was drudgery. I enjoyed this book very much and every minute I was listening to it, I was looking forward. Reading it, Laura Luthman to it, it was really, really good. It was a very, not to play on the water metaphor, but it felt like this nice ride down a river.Like there was never anything that was like too like cliffhanger or dramatic. I mean, there was definitely some, but it was just a nice, beautiful, beautifully written little cruise down a river of, I mean, it was intergenerational, so you get to meet the great grandchildren of the original character that you’re introduced to and just see how people’s lives kind of Mixed together and intertwine.And yeah, it was really beautiful. Although be prepared. Um, as I rolled into the epilogue, is that what’s at the end of the book, the epilogue, the narrator was actually the author, which I was scared of, but it actually ended up not being too bad. and in the epilogue, he talking about how he’s a doctor.So there’s a lot of medical procedures, very, very detailed medical procedures within the book. and it goes, it talks a lot about, um, oh shoot, it’s such a big part of the book. How am I forgetting? The people who lose like parts of their hands and their feet, but leprosy, it covers, yeah, it, it covers a lot of, medical issues around people who have leprosy and procedures around it.And so I was like, how do you know all this stuff? Which I guess he is an actual doctor. And so that was very interesting to hear that perspective. I kind of wish I would have known that before I read it. So, um, let’s see. Look, I looked at the whole country. Learn. I learned as I was going across the country.I did not think that this was that weird of a thing, but if you are coming and listening to this podcast, because this is how you found me, I hope you’re not disappointed. So going to college, you need to get your kids. That’s what you don’t need to. Those of us who get the things for our kids that are excessive for their dorms room.Uh, they have the twin XL beds and I, you know, Dorms are not particularly comfy, I don’t think. So it’s like, and she’s used to a foam mattress at home, and we weren’t about to try to squish it in the car because it would have taken up half of the space in the truck. But in order to ship stuff to the school, I couldn’t like ship it two months in advance or whatever.So you had to wait till the very last minute, which by then… You know, everybody’s going to call it. So every Twin XL mattress pad in the country is gone. But then I did a little bit of math and a king size mattress pad is exactly two Twin XLs. And it’s not necessarily twice the cost. So I wasn’t even trying to cost usually I’m doing it because I’m trying to save money.But this time I was just like, this is the only way[00:39:32] Missy: So what you got to get?[00:39:34] Susanne: And so I just went to the parents page for the school and was like, Hey, anybody else want to go in anybody else wait until the last week and they’re out. And another mom was like, yes. My son needs one, whatever. so, drop off, there’s just a lot.There’s a lot going on. A lot of moving pieces. But we ended up going and getting this giant king size thing that we got through Home Depot. Picked it up, but then the whole trip, I was like, How am I going to cut this thing in half? Because you usually have to use a bread knife. And I know this, I’m a pro because I make tons of these beds for my dogs because they eat their beds a lot.So we always use the kids old mattress pads and, you know, cut them up with a bread knife. And I know that’s what you need to use, but I wasn’t going to bring it because I could drive it there, but I couldn’t fly home with it. And I didn’t want to check my bag. So every Applebee’s we hit, which was like a hundred on the way there, Zoe’d be like, does this knife look serrated enough?Or like, it’s like,[00:40:28] Missy: Put this one in my backpack.[00:40:29] Susanne: put this on my backpack, and then every time we go buy a Dollar General, I was like, Does Dollar General just sell knives? But then I was like, how safe is a Dollar General serrated knife? I don’t know. But then, so we happened to be at a Target picking up the 100 things that she needed, and I found that one last knife.It wasn’t even hanging. It was like just laying there on a shelf somewhere. I was like, one knife! It’s meant to be. It’s 8. It’s perfect. At the same time, I’m getting, like, texts from that mom, like, we’re driving into town. We’ve got like a half hour between now and when her son’s appointment to check in was.So I was like, well, I’m at the Target. I got a knife. I got a foam mattress. I guess now’s my moment. And so she’s like, I’ll meet you at the Target parking lot at this time. And it was like 10 minutes away. So. As we were checking out the target, I saw that they had a bunch of cardboard boxes that they were taking out to recycle and I was like, hey, can I take a couple of those and the lady’s like, whatever crazy lady.So I took those out into the parking lot and laid those down. So it wouldn’t get dirty and then unrolled this giant mattress pad and then proceeded to. Well, that was the other thing when you unroll it, it does not look normal. It’s all like mushed in places and whatever. So I was like, which side’s top bottom side?I don’t know. So the lady got there and I’m holding the knife. I’m like, I don’t know where to make the cut. Like it’s like a shrinky dink. I was like, I don’t know which way is the top and the bottom. And she’s like, you know what? My son doesn’t care. So we just were like, fine, we’ll just, we’re just going to cut down the middle of somewhere.And she like handed me 60 bucks and drove off and. And I posted a picture of it, like, squashed into the trunk. I was like, hey kids, Make a good first impression at college by cutting this thing in half and I mean I do a Hundred dumber things every day but for some reason this one Really resonated with people and so it went[00:42:15] Missy: really did.[00:42:17] Susanne: And[00:42:18] Emily: that’s hilarious.[00:42:19] Susanne: still going it’s like a hundred and gosh who knows I’m like, I’m like Cuisinart should sponsor that post.but it was just really fun. It’s funny to see like the things that catch people’s eye or just they’re fancy and that makes them laugh and that they can relate with. And I do think it’s just that there’s just such a crazy energy around drop off. And, you know, what do you remember? What can you pack?What do you forget? What does your kid really need? What is like over the top umbrella parent or helicopter parenting? And I think this kind of probably covered all of those in one. And I[00:42:54] Emily: Over a hundred thousand views though. That’s incredible.[00:42:57] Missy: It’s [00:42:57] Susanne: was a hundred that no, it had millions of views. It had a hundred thousand, like likes, hearts, whatever’s. Like I think it’s [00:43:07] Emily: I love it. [00:43:08] Susanne: whatever, but I mean at first it got up when it got up to a thousand. I was like, that’s it. Like this is so exciting. It’s so fun. But yeah, I did take advantage of that. That was my little learn like be ready for those moments because they do. I mean, I’ve been posting stuff to Facebook for A decade and nothing’s ever caught on like that.So I popped right in there and I was like, I am milking this moment for all it’s worth. I have a podcast and go on over there. If you think I was nuts, cutting something in the parking lot, just wait till you hear what I do when I’m trying to do a job interview. So, so yes, anybody who’s come welcome. We’re excited you’re here.[00:43:45] Emily: That’s right. Pivot this podcast to a mom hacks. Right.[00:43:48] Susanne: Yeah.[00:43:49] Missy: that’s right.[00:43:51] Susanne: Anyway, that’s me. What about you, Emily?[00:43:54] Emily: So yeah, so look, I mean, we’re coming off of summer. I live in Michigan, and we did a lot of lake trips. You know, there’s so much, so much beautiful water around us. So we spent a lot of time near the water. In fact, I feel super spoiled to say you kind of forget about summer. Ocean beaches. You just get used to lake life.[00:44:14] Missy: Mm[00:44:14] Emily: that was, that was something I really enjoyed. And I, we do watch a lot of TV in the winter. So, um, so I feel like this summer we, we kind of dialed back a little bit there. but if I had to choose something I’m watching, I will literally always watch an episode of shark tank. I don’t care if it’s from 2012 or 2023, I will always watch an episode of shark tank.There’s always lessons to be learned. And I’ve enjoyed watching it with my children because trying to explain what’s going on to them. It’s neat to see like where they get interested and where they’re just. Not interested.[00:44:40] Missy: Yeah,[00:44:41] Susanne: true, that would be fun with the kids, we haven’t done that. Or the kid. Oh.[00:44:46] Emily: I know. You’ve[00:44:47] Susanne: The one kid.[00:44:50] Emily: Um, I listen. I would just, I guess I’d give a shout out to whether you do the audio book or read the book, uh, Fair Play. Fair Play by Eve Rodsky. I mean, you know, that was something we connected about at Mom 2, um, when I had the pleasure of meeting you ladies, that, that book really changed, changed my life, um, when I read it, and it’s, it’s something that has touched our life in a personal way with my husband and I sharing our story in the Fair Play documentary, which is not just the movie version of the book, um, but, but something that you can catch on, on all the streamings, um, For for, you know, a very affordable price to check that out.Fair play. and then learning. I mean, thank you for giving me the opportunity to to share with so many women, um, ways that I watch other women learn every single day, really through upskilling and freelance. And just again, not not looking at it so narrow and saying, Well, I don’t have skills to freelance with.It’s We are living the future of work right now. It is unfolding in front of us. And so as cliche as it sounds to, you know, throw away what you knew before. I mean, Anything kind of goes now, like there’s so many different ways to work and it’s exciting.[00:45:54] Susanne: it is.[00:45:54] Missy: Yeah.[00:45:55] Susanne: Oh, love it.[00:45:57] Emily: So thank you for letting me have my turn.[00:45:59] Susanne: Oh, yes. And oh, we should link to the actually the fair play. Yeah, the documentary.[00:46:06] Missy: it’s really interesting for sure. [00:46:09] Susanne: what have you been lookless and learning?[00:46:11] Missy: um, I think that this has already been a look, listen, learn of mine, but I think it was a really pretty long time ago. So maybe we have some new people who don’t remember it. And I can’t remember. I have no idea when it was.I just feel like I’ve talked about it before, but, um, I am rereading devotions by Mary Oliver and it’s a compilation. Poems from all of her books and I just love them so much. I love Mary Oliver. I’m sad that I never met her or knew her like I feel like we would have been good friends. Um, so I love that one.Even if you’re not a poetry person, I think she’s really accessible poetry, and just has a beautiful spirit and a beautiful eye. So if you’re just looking for something lovely to read a little bit every day. I highly recommend it. And then because we were always on the cutting edge of entertainment, we have just started watching Suits, which I guess has been off the air for many years.Like it’s, we’d never watched it. I didn’t know anything about it and it has just been, I guess it’s on Netflix now and when it comes up, like people will start watching things and then it starts just being sort of part of the conversation again. I think that’s what has happened.[00:47:18] Susanne: Well, I think it is because even Chris brought it up just this week. He’s like, Oh, the number one Netflix show right now is The Suits. We should check it out. I was like, is that the one with Meghan Markle in it? He’s like, [00:47:28] Missy: It is! [00:47:29] Susanne: he’s like, I don’t think so. It’s this new show. I was like, no, it’s not a new show.So you [00:47:34] Missy: I couldn’t [00:47:35] Susanne: more cutting edge than Chris this week.[00:47:38] Missy: well, I can’t even count the number of people who have said recently that they’re watching it. And so finally, just the other day I looked at Mark and I was like, should we, should we try it? Like everyone else and their dog is watching it. So we’ve watched exactly one episode, but we really did enjoy it.So I think we’re going to keep watching it. And it’s got like nine seasons. So well, and since the writers and there’s the strike going on, no new TV is coming.[00:48:00] Susanne: true.[00:48:01] Missy: So go back in there. Yeah, go to the Wayback Machine and find some shows that you missed the first time around and that’s what we’re doing now.[00:48:09] Susanne: This episode brought to you by Suits. Brand[00:48:13] Missy: and Canva and Cuisinart. So, yeah, and I have kind of a serious learn by the time this episode is out, this will be kind of old news and everyone will know, but I want everybody to go get their mammograms because I got my annual mammogram and there was a spot this year that was not there last year. And that’s why you go do them every year.And I am thankful that what I have is DCIS, it’s ductal carcinoma in situ, depending on where you read it. Some people will be like, that’s pre cancer, not real cancer. My oncologist says this is cancer. It’s just cancer that is trapped inside a milk duct and hasn’t gone anywhere else yet. So that’s why you go get your mammograms because if I hadn’t done it, who knows what it would have done.It’s a pretty big spot and it grew that big in a year and eventually it can get out of the ducts. And so I’m glad we found it when we did. And, um, I’m going to have a mastectomy, so I’m sure we’ll have some episodes where we talk about what that is like. Um, and as we record, I haven’t done that yet, but by the time you’re listening to this, that will be in the past.And I bet I’m. Back to business, at least I hope I am. but yeah, go get your mammograms and if you have questions or fears or want to just want to talk about it, just reach out to me, you can find us on social media and I’d be happy to talk to you about my experience or connect you with other people I’ve met through this experience and share what I know and what I don’t know, there’s so much I don’t know, but we’ll, yeah.Every day I’m learning so much.[00:49:47] Susanne: yeah, you’ve had a crash course on it in the past few weeks. So,[00:49:51] Missy: It’s been a really fast process. Again, this is old news by the time you’re listening to it, but it’s been fast. It went from We’re now at about a month from my mammogram, my original mammogram. And then it was a callback and a biopsy. And I was one week from biopsy to oncologist. And it has been a really super fast process and I’m thankful for that because the more time I have, the more I think about it and I just, let’s just get it done.And I am fortunate that I think this mastectomy will be my treatment. That’s not the case for a lot of women, but I think we will go in, have surgery and hopefully be done.[00:50:24] Susanne: yes.[00:50:25] Missy: So go get them squished ladies. Go get themsquished. It’s not fun, but go do it.[00:50:30] Susanne: No, it’s such a good reminder. I know I always it’s frustrating when things are awareness months or whatever, because[00:50:37] Missy: know, when this run, well, maybe will it be October when this is out[00:50:41] Susanne: it might[00:50:42] Missy: or close or close.[00:50:44] Susanne: yes. So become pre aware and. Yeah, no matter what month you’re listening to this, because some new listener may be listening to it in February, make that your awareness month, just whatever. Yeah, make sure you’re on your[00:50:57] Missy: Yeah. And just go talk to your doctor and get it scheduled in some places. Some places I think will allow you to self schedule. don’t know all the laws. I don’t understand all the insurance. I am learning, but I think there you can self schedule and say, I just want my annual mammogram [00:51:14] Susanne: It’s good to know. Yes, and you have inspired me too. Even though I am on schedule with my mammogram, I am way behind on my colonoscopy. Which that is where, that’s where Suzanne has her problems and I’m, I’m supposed to be on a more aggressive schedule of doing that. So[00:51:31] Missy: All right. Get it done.[00:51:32] Susanne: I’m getting it done. You’ve inspired me.[00:51:35] Missy: Talk about not fun. The colonoscopy is not fun, but get that done too.[00:51:39] Susanne: But I always treat myself to a donut afterwards. So that makes it kind of [00:51:43] Missy: Right. And a really rockin nap.[00:51:46] Susanne: Yes. That [00:51:48] Missy: great nap afterwards. Like, I just do nothing that day because I’m in kind of la la.[00:51:52] Susanne: My favorite 10 seconds of life is that. Like when they have you do the countdown, that little twilight, like,[00:51:59] Missy: Yeah, it’s not even 10 seconds because you’re like,[00:52:01] Susanne: no, it’s like two [00:52:02] Missy: goodbye. [00:52:02] Susanne: but it’s, it’s like the best margarita you’ve ever had is like, yeah,[00:52:09] Missy: Yeah, you gotta look for the silver lining.[00:52:11] Susanne: we do, we look for the silver linings where we can find them.Well, I’m so grateful you shared your story so that other people, um, can. Can realize how important it is and that it can impact anybody. So yeah, get,[00:52:24] Missy: Might screw up a month or two of your life, but you’ll be glad you got it done.[00:52:28] Susanne: Hey, get some, get some rest and relaxation and heal and take care of yourself. And so I do think we did have some episodes pre recorded.We might end up with a little bit of a bonus summer gap there sometime in September, October, depending on things roll. But, yeah, so just know that we’re not [00:52:47] Missy: the time you’re listening to this, yeah, we will, we’ll have announced like what it’s going to look like, I think by the time this episode runs.[00:52:54] Emily: Your episodes are very binge friendly, ladies. I feel like I listen to them in batches.[00:52:58] Susanne: Oh good.[00:52:59] Emily: for doing all this work for us listeners. I’m a listener too.[00:53:02] Susanne: Oh,[00:53:03] Missy: for listening.[00:53:04] Susanne: you. And yeah, we’re so excited. Just doing freelance work is what helped fill up my resume so that I could get this, freelancing gig that I have now between doing the work for myself to be able to be in a place where I can do this job.So that is great. Keeping my skills fresh and being ready to do that. But then also doing the work of listening to these episodes and, listening to all the coaches that we’ve talked to over the past three years has gotten me into the place to know exactly what role I was looking for and being really confident that like, yes, this is whether it’s with this agency or another agency or whatever that ends up being in the future.This is a really great mix for me So yeah, learn about yourself and then learn about. how things like, hey there social media and other places can help you get the skills that you need to whatever it is that you want to take on your next chapter.[00:53:59] Emily: Thank you, ladies. Thank you. It’s been so fun.[00:54:01] Susanne: Thank you.So nice to see you again.[00:54:05] Missy: whenever that is. We’ll see what is the[00:54:07] Susanne: Whenever mom [00:54:07] Missy: that, whenever that is.[00:54:08] Emily: I can’t wait to listen. Yes, I’ll be listening to more episodes and we’ll think ahead to next year’s conference, conference meetup.[00:54:14] Susanne: can’t wait. All right. Well, [00:54:16] Missy: All right. Have a great afternoon.[00:54:18] Emily: Thanks, Suzanne. Thanks, Missy.[00:54:20] Susanne: Bye bye.[00:54:21] Emily: Bye. Thank you so much for joining us for the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. We hope you enjoyed today’s show. And if you know someone else who could benefit from the episode, please be sure and share it with them. And while we’re begging, please subscribe and rate us wherever it is you listen to podcasts. You can find links to all the things we discussed today in our show notes or over at our website, momandpodcast.com with the A N D spelled out in between shows, find us over at the socials, including our private mom and community Facebook group, the links to that group. And all of our socials can be found at momandpodcast. com. Thank you so much for your support. We appreciate you more than, you know, now go out there and make your ellipses count.

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January 11, 2024 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 132Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:In this comeback episode of the podcast, co-hosts Missy Stevens and Susanne Kerns discuss the importance of maintaining the balance between work, family, and health.

The episode delves into personal challenges both women have faced, such as Missy’s recent breast cancer diagnosis and treatment, and getting back to work after a break. Susanne shares her insights on freelancing, and the adjustments that come along with returning to work. They discuss their career paths, highlighting the need to assess skills and interests. The episode wraps with some conversation about what’s ahead for the show, along with Susanne and Missy exclaiming how excited they are to be back behind their microphones, sharing information and inspiration with listeners.

Topics From This Episode:00:00 Introduction and Personal Updates

02:21 Welcome to 2024 and Podcast Plans

03:19 Missy’s Health Update: Breast Cancer Journey

09:28 The Importance of Regular Mammograms

13:05 Living Flat: Life After Mastectomy

16:44 Susanne’s Career Transition and New Job

25:51 Finding the Right Workplace Culture

26:24 The Impact of COVID on Workplace Culture

26:55 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Career Pivots

28:07 The Role of Volunteering and Side Projects in Career Development

29:13 The Diversity of Job Opportunities

30:38 The Importance of Exploring Interests and Passions

31:09 The Joy of Getting Paid and Future Show Plans

31:47 Changes in Show Schedule and Upcoming Episodes

32:28 The Challenges and Solutions of Freelancing

33:00 The Importance of Time Management in Freelancing

35:49 The Impact of Major Life Changes

44:28 The Struggles of Returning to Work After a Break

48:50 Closing Thoughts and Future Plans

Look, Listen, LearnsNo LLLs this week.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

[00:00:00] Missy: Welcome to the mom and dot, dot, dot podcast. The podcast that helps you make your ellipses count. I’m Missy Stevens, mom and dot, dot, dot, writer, foster child advocate, and this week resume getter togetherer.

[00:00:37] Susanne: Ooh, we know some people who could help with that.

[00:00:40] Missy: Thank goodness. I need some help. Oh,

[00:00:45] Susanne: I’m Suzanne Kearns, mom and dot dot dot writer, LGBTQ and sex ed advocate. And this week, I am counting down the days until my daughter goes back to college, but not in like the mean way, in the in the nice loving way, and that I do not want her to leave.

But man, we’ve had like Three weeks. I feel like college kids get a, get a good

[00:01:07] Missy: get a nice long break. Yeah. Have y’all had so much fun?

[00:01:10] Susanne: it has been wonderful. I think she’s probably bored to tears, but for the parents,

[00:01:15] Missy: at her? I’d just be like,

[00:01:17] Susanne: sometimes I do. She turns around and just like, Hmm.

[00:01:23] Missy: think I am going to be in Harvey’s hip pocket when he comes home next year and he’s going to love it. He’s gonna love it.

[00:01:28] Susanne: Okay, we’re off track already.

[00:01:30] Missy: I know it’s our gift

[00:01:31] Susanne: All right. Well, welcome to 2024. It is a new season of the MawMan dot dot dot podcast. We have been on hiatus for the last few months. so today we’re going to talk about where we have been and plans for upcoming episodes.

[00:01:48] Missy: because we’re back baby

[00:01:50] Susanne: Yay! Oh my gosh. And as both Missy and I have decided, it’s even though it’s just been a It’s Short break, kind of? Well, three months is a while.

[00:01:58] Missy: three months

[00:01:59] Susanne: We have apparently forgotten all of the things about how microphones work, and how Zoom works, and how to talk into a camera. And so, so bear with us as we do this.

[00:02:10] Missy: Yes. Yeah. This is like our dry run, our practice run, and then

[00:02:14] Susanne: And then we’ll invite guests to talk to you. But for just today, it’s just the two of us, a quickie on where we’ve been, and yeah, what we’re looking forward to the next couple months. Don’t miss it.

[00:02:24] Missy: months felt like three years.

[00:02:25] Susanne: Yeah, I know, but it’s probably the biggest news has been, everybody’s been very kind and checking in on you health wise, and part of the reason for our hiatus was, around health, so I’ll let you do a little update.

[00:02:39] Missy: Okay. Um, and I, I told you beforehand, like, I, I could do an hour long episode on this if anybody wants an hour long episode at some point, we can talk about it. People have questions. I’m happy to answer questions. Just if you have questions just because you’re curious, fine, reach out, especially if you are going through something like this or know somebody going through it, reach out to me.

I’m happy to talk about it. some people think, Oh, I don’t want to bring it up. Or does it, you know, just make you sad or is it stressful? And no, I mean, I have sad moments and mad moments. I’m angry a lot, which is a whole other thing we’ll get into. but. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk about it.

So I was diagnosed with breast cancer in August. and I was diagnosed with DCIS. We’ve talked about it before. So there’s an episode. We’ll link to it where we go back and talk about that. And I had some choices to make about my treatment. And I chose what is basically a one and done treatment if the pathology comes back clear, which mine did.

The pathology came back and they got everything in. I had a bilateral mastectomy and had one lymph node removed on my right side, which is the side the cancer was on. I’m happy to talk to anybody who wants to know about my decision making process. That’s a long conversation. We don’t want to use this whole hour talking about it, but if you’re curious, I’d love to talk to you about it.

it’s a big decision, and I had options, and that’s where I landed. Um, and my pathology came back that they got everything in that surgery, so I did not have any follow up radiation or chemo. which I’m thankful for, but I had that surgery at the end of September. I was supposed to have it at the beginning of September, but I got COVID. So

[00:04:16] Susanne: Yes,

[00:04:17] Missy: a super fun month.

[00:04:19] Susanne: oh my gosh, that

[00:04:20] Missy: can’t believe I’d never had COVID. I went three years, never caught it. Got it in September. so I had to bump surgery, get over COVID and then have surgery. So I had about a three week window in there to get better and have surgery. so I had that done September 27th and then took a couple months to recover.

And I am now to a point where I I’m not fully recovered. It just takes a while, but I am pretty normal, as normal as normal can be. Um, like I have almost a full range of motion. What’s left is like this tiny bit and I’m going to therapy, physical therapy to get it. and yeah, so that’s where I have been.

And it’s been a crazy road and, um, maybe we’ll do an episode sometime on like what things I’ve learned. And, I’ve learned a lot about what not to say to someone who’s diagnosed with cancer. I’ve learned a lot about what is amazing. I mean, people, people showed up and just did things that I wouldn’t, I didn’t even realize were like, that I would need or want, you know, like they just, they just showed up They brought themselves to that and it would, I learned a lot about if someone else in my life is going through it, what mattered to me and what helped me and, yeah, so happy to talk to anybody about that too,

[00:05:40] Susanne: Oh, I think that’s, that’s such a good. Lesson to be able to share with people because I know I’m one of those people is just like kind of we talk about it all the time, but you’re not going to do it if you think you’re going to do it wrong. And I always think I’ll do something wrong. And so that stops me from doing things sometimes.

Just because, yeah, you’re like, I don’t want to make them sad or I don’t want to do this or I don’t want to give them this if that’s going to hurt their tummies or like, just like overthinking things to the point of not doing anything. So, oh, that

[00:06:09] Missy: And I will tell you, I think the thing to do is just do whatever it is you think of, just do it. the hardest is when someone’s like, what can I do? Cause you don’t know. I didn’t know what I would need from day to day. I didn’t know what I would want. I had, I was clueless. And so anytime someone showed up however they showed up, I was just grateful for it.

you know, it’s just, you just know someone’s thinking about you and it’s really nice.

[00:06:32] Susanne: Oh, I love that. Okay. So I do think we need to get something on the books and maybe bring in a co expert to, from the medical side, because, you know what, I think that Sadly, the statistics are to the point where if it’s not you, it’s going to be definitely someone in your close ring of friends who’s going to be impacted by this.

So it’s a, if,

[00:06:56] Missy: It’s one in eight women. One in eight. And I don’t know, as we’re recording this, just yesterday a CNN anchor whose name is escaping me. I feel terrible about it, but we will link to it. She announced on air that she’s going to be taking some time off because she was diagnosed with a stage three cancer, has a quite an extensive treatment ahead of her.

And she talked about that one in eight statistic again, and she asked everybody to just stop for a minute and think about. Women or seven other women that they know about those seven and yourself one of you is going to be diagnosed It’s a crazy statistic. She had no family history and Found herself the stage three cancer and she’s also a person of color and so there’s a whole aspect to that because I think it’s something like women of color or Black women in particular are 41 percent more likely to die of breast cancer than white women.

It’s a whole shitshow with our medical system. Um, so there’s a lot there. I would love to bring on somebody who is not just regurgitating statistics but understands it and can speak to it. Because there’s a lot to cover.

[00:07:59] Susanne: But I think the most important thing is that you caught it early and

[00:08:05] Missy: my routine mammogram.

[00:08:06] Susanne: routine mammogram. So I know that we do a lot of stuff around October. Well, not we, the, the country

[00:08:13] Missy: Yeah.

[00:08:13] Susanne: we general public usually in October. Everybody does their, you know, their pink ribbons and all those types of things. Um, and then sometimes we tend to forget about it once the, all the pinkness goes away.

So we’re here to remind you that every month is a good month to go do your, well, don’t do it every month.

[00:08:34] Missy: It’s a horrible, barbaric process. You only want to do it when you have to.

[00:08:38] Susanne: I shouldn’t give medical advice. Um, but yes. Uh, if you have not and actually this is an interesting point because I think the last recording we did Uh, we were talking about it and I was like, oh and yeah, i’m up to date and blah blah blah And sure enough. I went and checked and I was not so here we had been it had been a central point in Having you going through this and talking about it, and I still, it’s shocking how much we can misremember time periods, like it felt like it was a couple months ago, but it had been, it wasn’t a long time, it was like 14 months, but it was more than a year, so, um, so I got on there, and you know what, I, even if you are not So, Do for a while, start scheduling now.

I noticed that the scheduling for it was a lot slower than in past years in the sense that, um, I think just medical things are backed up a little bit more than usual. So you,

[00:09:39] Missy: local to Austin, and a lot of people used to easily go to A. R. A. imaging, well, ARA has been bought and they’re not taking certain insurances that they used to take. And so they have such a huge, they can handle a huge volume of people, but now they’re not taking all these insurances.

So it’s harder to schedule because you have to find one of the other imaging locations that will take your insurance. They’re like, they’re not taking big, major insurances, and I think you might’ve run into that.

[00:10:07] Susanne: Well I did run into that. And then I got a bonus trip to go see Missy out of it because I had to drive away out of my neighborhood to But so yeah, that was the reason that I had to book it so far away from my neighborhood place that I would usually go to for it. And I had to wait a certain time period. So even

[00:10:30] Missy: I do believe,

[00:10:32] Susanne: okay.

[00:10:32] Missy: can leave this in, but I believe, and I will confirm it, you do not need a doctor’s order to schedule your annual screening mammogram. That is a test that you can call and schedule yourself. You don’t have to go see your doctor. Now I recommend going to see your doctor. Because they do a lot of other things that you need to have done.

But, if you’re dealing with some anxiety around that, and you’re putting off going to the doctor for some reason, at least schedule your mammogram. You can call and do it yourself. And, I mean, it saves lives. Mine was really fast growing. It wasn’t there the year before. It had gotten pretty sizable in a year.

And I feel like had I let it go, it could have escaped. It was still stuck in those ducts, but it could have

[00:11:11] Susanne: Mm hmm.

[00:11:12] Missy: gotten out, you know, so I do it. Just call in schedule.

[00:11:16] Susanne: Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Okay. Let’s see. What else do we want to talk about that? I mean, I do think it warrants its whole, whole episode.

[00:11:25] Missy: I mean, I think it could, we can talk about, you know, I had to make a decision whether or not I did any kind of reconstruction, which I chose not to, I left it kind of open. I could do it later. And now I’m, what is this a little over three months out, right? No, not quite. Where am I? I don’t know where I am.

Yes. A little over

[00:11:44] Susanne: Three months. I think

[00:11:44] Missy: What day is it? And I think I’ve decided I will never do any kind of reconstruction. So I am now part of a growing number of women who choose to stay flat, which comes with its own set of crap. You know, like it was a choice I made. I’m glad I made that choice. I have to learn to dress myself again, not as in physically how to put clothes on, but what clothes do you put on?

Um, everything looks weird and different. And, the other day I got like a huge pit in my stomach because I thought, well, I figured out winter pretty well. I can layer. It’s pretty great. But now I have to figure out summer and swimsuits and all that. But there are, I mean, there are Facebook groups and there’s all kinds of people that, you know, dedicated to this.

So it’s not like I’m out here alone doing it. But, um. It’s a choice that gets some pushback from surgeons. Not mine. Mine was great, but sometimes people have trouble. Their surgeons do not want them to make this choice. Um, it’s a choice

[00:12:44] Susanne: That

[00:12:45] Missy: to women since. Yeah, I’ve talked to women since who get pushback from their partners.

It’s just,

um, you know, but it’s a big decision and it does have a lot of repercussions in your life as you go along and every day something new occurs to me and every once in a while I’m like, holy crap, I don’t have any boobs. It’s weird.

[00:13:04] Susanne: Like you were just saying, you were cold today.

[00:13:07] Missy: Yes. Cool. I lost a lot of padding. I lost five pounds in one day and, um, that was a lot of padding that I was used to having. And, you know, I mean, it’s, it takes a while for your brain to wrap around it, even though I was very certain that was the decision I wanted to make at the time of surgery. And as the months have gone on, I’m still really certain that that’s what I’m sticking with. I feel good about it. It is the right decision for me. I don’t have any regrets. Just a great thing to be able to say. Like, I feel super confident with this decision, but it doesn’t mean there aren’t moments of like, huh, interesting.

You know, it’s just, it’s weird. I mean, it’s weird. I’ve had boobs since I was like 10. There’s a lot of decades to carry those around, and they’re a part of you, and it’s a big part of your life in a lot of different ways, and I’m having to learn to be without, and I would, I’d be happy to talk to someone if you are trying to make that decision, because it helps, like, I listen to a lot of other women’s stories that made, you know, the gamut of decisions, not necessarily that ended up in the same decision I made, same, I’ve shared my story with a lot of women who are trying to make a decision, and it, It just helps.

You just need information and you just want to hear other people’s experiences. And so, we can totally do an episode on it. Or if you just want to reach out to me and talk, I’m here.

[00:14:24] Susanne: That is very generous and very helpful. And yeah, I think that’ll be a really valuable, this is a valuable episode, but I think the additional information that we’ll have on that dedicated episode will be really, really important. So stay tuned for that and, and many other exciting episodes coming up.

[00:14:43] Missy: Well, now we get to talk about what you’ve done for the last, well, three months, but six months really. And it’s way more fun than breast cancer. So. No. No. No. No.

[00:14:53] Susanne: is for sure. I mean, it has its days, but, um, no, it can’t even compare. Uh, yes, my new, I, I would call it my new job, but as we were just saying, I just had my six month anniversary, which, which is really funny because I remember, gosh, one of the episodes back when I started, I was feeling bad because it had been like three weeks and I didn’t feel like.

I was caught up to where I needed to be. And we talked to someone who’s, or no, I had, I think I just Googled like how long to be ready

[00:15:26] Missy: Yeah, you did. You

[00:15:27] Susanne: like you’re working

[00:15:28] Missy: Mm hmm.

[00:15:29] Susanne: Um, and they said at least three months and, you know, usually like closer to six months. And there’s still stuff I’m learning on a daily basis.

I’m sure that there are still people at my office who are like, okay, new girl, like, that’s not how you do that. but as far as like getting into the swing of things and feeling like I’m really steady with what’s going on, I got to say six months is a really nice milestone. Um, it’s, well, it didn’t help that, was it two months ago?

Like around September, October, um, I took on a new client. So that was also, every time you take on a new client, it’s almost like starting a new job in terms of learning about them and all

[00:16:11] Missy: Mm hmm.

[00:16:12] Susanne: So it was almost like starting two jobs a little bit, um,

[00:16:16] Missy: Well, you and I had lunch or brunch recently, and you were, we were talking about how different things, like, things work differently than the last time you had a job like this. Like, the world has changed a lot, so you just have that learning curve

[00:16:30] Susanne: Yeah. Yeah. And I, it’s so much of it is okay. So I’m working at an agency, which actually I want to have the CEO Tracy come on some time because I love the philosophy of the agency is called Creative Noggin. And the whole reason she started it. I mean, gosh, was it 12 years ago, 13 years ago, it has always been a digital or not digital agency, but, uh, yeah.

Remote agency. Everybody works from home. And the idea, and I think pretty much all of us except for one, uh, are, women, and so very much this idea of being able to, if you want to care for kids or have some flexibility, with Child care, home, or whatever other thing that you need to have flexibility with, you can do that.

And not necessarily time wise, I’m the only one who works on a contract basis. most people are full time, but it’s flexible in the sense of I need to pick up my kid from school this time and no one gives a shit about it. Or

[00:17:35] Missy: as it should be.

[00:17:36] Susanne: It’s just completely expected and it’s very flexible on the, Oh, I’ve got this dentist appointment.

I, and you know, people say, I’m going to be here these hours instead of these hours. So it’s just very open that way. No one would ever think twice about someone going to pick up a kid or leaving early for a game or leaving early for a recital. It’s just. It is woven into the fabric of the agency, which I just love so much.

Uh, mine is extra flexible because I do freelance work and so, I just work for the hours that I’m contracted to for my clients. So I’m even, I’m able to hop out and do a podcast recording in the middle

[00:18:17] Missy: Thank goodness. Thank goodness. Yeah. I was so happy when you got your job, and I’m not going to lie, there was part of me that was like, Oh no, like, what if we can’t podcast anymore? And I’m working actively towards going back to some more hours, like, kind of like you have something a little more permanent and steady.

And same thing, I want to make it so that we can, I still want to do this.

[00:18:41] Susanne: Yes, I love it. I love, well, I love talking to you on a regular basis, and I love talking to smart women on a regular basis about their expertise and all the things that they can help other people

[00:18:52] Missy: It’s so much fun, like we’re the luckiest.

[00:18:55] Susanne: I have missed it so much,

[00:18:57] Missy: Me too.

[00:18:58] Susanne: Yay, we’re back. Um, but yeah, so what about the job? It’s Ugh, I should have a whole episode on that too.

[00:19:07] Missy: Well, I think we should. I think we should have your boss on and I think that we should talk about everything that’s entailed because it really dovetails with what we do here,

[00:19:16] Susanne: oh, it’s it’s everything about what we do. Yeah, I mean, that was really the point. It’s, it’s It’s been very interesting how it’s all kind of, not consolidated. What is it? It’s kind of crystallized in this idea of like everything that we’ve learned about. It hasn’t been like one episode was what changed my life, although you could probably I would argue that Breyer did a big,

[00:19:41] Missy: changed a lot of people’s lives. I think I have another friend who just used her teachings. Yeah.

[00:19:45] Susanne: oh my gosh, Breyer’s amazing. Um, but I think it’s just, it was taking a little bit from each episode and pulling it together and having it repeated and smashed into my head a few times about, I think especially the idea of. What is it called this skill blocking or something like that? Obviously it really stuck with me, but I can’t remember the name of it.

Well, there’s upscaling, but there’s also this idea of breaking down what your skills are. And also breaking down what the things that you like are and then taking a look at different jobs and saying what, what elements of these jobs do I like that matches up with each of those things, my skills and the things that I actually enjoy doing because I spent probably the first year of this podcast.

Being pretty sure that I was never going to go back to advertising and I probably, I hope none of my clients start with the first few episodes because I

[00:20:52] Missy: in there. I come around to it.

[00:20:54] Susanne: oh my gosh, no, I mean because it really was, I, it wasn’t necessarily that the Career wasn’t what I was interested in. There’s very many parts of it that I’m interested in.

I love the data analytics part of it. I love the clients and interacting with the people. I love the project management aspect of it and managing the schedules and stuff. So those are things that I really, really enjoyed. The elements I did not like in the previous iteration of my advertising job was all of the travel and it was, you know, the 70 hour weeks and it was, you know, XYZ, other elements

[00:21:30] Missy: we are right now.

[00:21:32] Susanne: Yes, that do not, the big long drives to work, those types of things. So it, when I actually broke down the pieces of different jobs, I realized. Wasn’t necessarily the quote unquote job that I didn’t like it was this part of it and not necessarily All jobs are created equal in a particular field. not all agent ad agencies are created equal to

[00:21:55] Missy: Absolutely not. No.

[00:21:58] Susanne: mentality of And like I was just saying, the culture at Creative Noggin is very much, if that would have been what I had, you know, 10 years ago, 20 years ago, I, I may have not even left work in the first place.

Right. so

[00:22:15] Missy: all have. We carry the past traumas of workplaces. Like, we’ve all had bad experiences. I don’t know anybody who hasn’t had at least one horrible job. And you carry that with you. And so you had to do the work to figure out, like, to unpack that and then figure out where you could go from here. And I think that’s so great. And I think that’s something we’ve learned. I’m doing, that’s what I’m doing right now is putting on paper, like, what have I done? What are the skills I’ve gotten from there? And how do I want that to translate to what, what I’m doing going forward? It’s a crazy process to try and sit down and remember all the things you’ve done,

[00:22:52] Susanne: And I remember we’ve had a few guests who have told us to do that. And I was like, no, I just know I don’t, I don’t want to do that. I never want to do that again. And I’m glad that it took a few coaches coming on and, you know, repeating the same thing for me to be like,

[00:23:08] Missy: Mm hmm. Okay, I have to do that.

[00:23:11] Susanne: Um, and I probably, you know what, I probably, I don’t know.

If it would have been the same type of culture and the same type of processes of other places I’d been, then it probably would have just reinforced that nope, agency work isn’t for me. So maybe that was just a fact of really hitting the sweet spot of a workplace that shares my same values. Um, but then that’s all part of the, all the values exercises and stuff that we’ve talked about in several episodes too.

So. Yeah,

[00:23:41] Missy: hopefully it’s a sign that some of this workplace culture, I’m sure not everywhere, but it’s changing. And we’ve talked about it in many episodes, but COVID made a big impact on that and People are realizing there’s, there’s more ways to do this than just the traditional, you should live and die for this job and you should be here 70 hours.

And if you have a family, then you’re not any good to us. I think that I’m sure it exists in places still, but I think it’s maybe becoming less the norm. I hope,

[00:24:11] Susanne: I hope so. I

[00:24:13] Missy: or at least we know that that’s what we are looking for. We deserve it.

[00:24:18] Susanne: So, yeah, I’ve got to say that after what, two and a half years of doing the podcast and trying to figure out a whole, it was so funny because I mean, one of the points I thought it was going to be a pivot, like type pod. of like, trying to uncover this secret career route that, you know, was this ideal route.

And it was going to be a big surprise, you know, there was going to be this big reveal of like, you really should have been a neurosurgeon or, I And so it’s, I don’t know if it’s laziness or just serendipity that it all ended up coming back to, you were doing what you should have been doing all along.

You were just doing it at the wrong place, apparently, so, um, but

[00:25:04] Missy: mean, for some people, it may be a big pivot. That may be what comes out of the process of going through this. I’m finding, and I think we’ve found in some episodes, you know, the big pivot comes with There’s a lot attached to that. It usually requires some different education, at the very least a different kind of certification.

and that’s fine. I mean, if that’s, that’s where you’re led, like there are opportunities for that. Um,

[00:25:26] Susanne: and that being said, a lot of my pivots, which I still am exploring, so I mean, it’s not to say that, and who knows, I might have a different career in a few other years. I don’t know, but

[00:25:37] Missy: have to be one thing.

[00:25:38] Susanne: exactly, but a lot of the extracurricular, like volunteer work and other contract work and stuff that I have done.

Over the years that were not aligned with advertising, like my Informed Parents of Austin stuff, doing the podcast, all helped lead me to get this particular role because it happened to do with a client that was around Careers and coaching and those types of things. So it was just happened to be really aligned.

so I do say that just kind of explore what’s interesting and as long as you’re having fun with it and just like the podcast, we do not want this to end just because I have this job now doesn’t mean I don’t want to continue to help other people explore and can learn myself about interesting things that moms can do.

Um,

[00:26:26] Missy: lot of jobs out there. Do you think, you know, we’ve said this before too, but I think when we were out getting jobs for the first time, life was not presented to us that way.

[00:26:36] Susanne: yeah.

[00:26:36] Missy: And, and I have, I read a statistic recently and I won’t say it cause I’ll butcher the number, but it was something like if you asked high school kids, current high school kids, to name as many jobs as they could think of.

The average number was 12. They could think of 12 jobs and most of them were the traditional doctor, lawyer,

[00:26:55] Susanne: Oh, my

[00:26:56] Missy: they, you know, sales kind of job. But there are thousands and thousands of kinds of jobs. There are so many jobs that don’t even require a degree. Um, you know, there’s a lot of paths out there to success.

And I think we’re still kind of doing a disservice to kids if they can only name 12. But I know when I was going through school, I thought of a fraction of the things available to me,

[00:27:21] Susanne: Well, even six months into Zoe’s college planning, we had never even heard of medical illustration, and who knows,

[00:27:28] Missy: never heard of it until you told me about it.

[00:27:30] Susanne: know, but that may not, you know, who knows if that ends up being her career, but it’s her current major, and I mean, who would have thought, I know, I was like, what?

There’s something that like overlaps all her interests in this one field? Fascinating. Um, so yeah, so explore, Do all those volunteer gigs, do the, do, well, do all the volunteer gigs that you find really interesting and that excite you and that light you up, or invent your own, as the case may be for Foreign Parents of Austin.

Um, so yeah, everything kind of led me to where I am, which I’m enjoying very much now and that’s going to lead me to whatever the next thing is and it’s all just very exciting. And you know what? It’s awful fun to get paid. Ha, ha, ha.

[00:28:16] Missy: I’m real excited about that

[00:28:17] Susanne: Oh, my gosh, I’m

[00:28:20] Missy: having, like, you have a kid in college. I will have a kid in college soon, and, uh, I’m super, super excited, and that’s some of what we want to talk about in upcoming shows. Like, we’re in different places in our lives than we were. When we started this show during the pandemic, the height of the pandemic, a lot has changed since then.

And we have these different perspectives. And so now there’s a lot of different kinds of guests that we are looking forward to having on to talk about those

[00:28:48] Susanne: so excited. Yes. Well, and if we do have a, well, we should probably let people know, we’re going to be probably changing our pace as we are getting our momentum back after being off for a couple of months that we’re going to be doing every other week for the foreseeable future. We will see where that goes.

We’re going to see. See what brings us joy and we’ll, we’ll adapt and edit from there. Um, but super excited that some of the upcoming episodes and apologies to these guests whose shows have been in the hopper for months. And, uh, if any of their timely offers have passed by, we apologize.

[00:29:26] Missy: Do you have new offers? We’ll reach out to them if they have new offers.

[00:29:28] Susanne: we will,

[00:29:29] Missy: put those out.

[00:29:30] Susanne: but Emily Hay from Hay There Media was particularly helpful for me because she talks a lot about, especially around social media, but about the idea of freelancing, which is just a whole different conversation.

Ball game for someone who is either been a not working or be working, you know, a 40 hour

[00:29:49] Missy: Right. A

[00:29:50] Susanne: quote unquote job, traditional role. Um, so it is a different, different animal. Um, in fact, I’m helping some of my friends and this is my shout out brought to you by Paymo. Paymo is my favorite app. I pay 5 a month for it and I would pay a million.

Don’t let them know that. Um, but it is, it’s my time. So for each of my clients, each of them probably have like 20 different tasks or billing codes under each of them. And so it’s not just a matter of like, Oh, I worked five hours on this client today. It’s like, no, I worked 15 minutes on this client’s emails and then 15 minutes on this one’s landing page and then 15.

And so trying to keep track of that is a monster and Paymo. Not only does it keep track of it for me, but then at the end of the month, I just. Click on the end of the beginning of the day and it spits out this beautiful consolidated invoice that I can send for my billing. And then it has all the backup information, however they want to see it broken down by day, broken down by client, breaking down by task.

so it’s just awesome. And I just have

[00:30:54] Missy: love that because that was my least favorite part of freelancing was tracking my time. And when you showed it to me, I’m like, Oh, I can maybe do that again,

[00:31:03] Susanne: Oh, yeah. It’s so,

[00:31:04] Missy: in my decision making process. That is one of the things where I’m like, I hate tracking my time.

[00:31:09] Susanne: mm hmm.

[00:31:10] Missy: And, but Paymo does make it look really easy.

It feels like a Paymo ad, but Paymo changed that forever.

[00:31:16] Susanne: I do love it. It’s the best. It’s kind of, it’s kind of like the canva of timesheets. It’s,

[00:31:22] Missy: Oh, Canva, another one of my favorite things.

[00:31:25] Susanne: uh, so

[00:31:26] Missy: Emily Hayes coming on. Bye.

[00:31:28] Susanne: Yeah, Emily Hayes, come on. And then we’ve got Anne Welsh is the episode after that. And so Anne was around, uh, the topic of parental leave coaching, which I was hoping

[00:31:41] Missy: wish I’d had.

[00:31:42] Susanne: right now. Well, first of all, I wish I’d had that, but then I also have a friend who just went on parental leave.

And so I was hoping I was going to have that one live for her a while ago. Sorry,

[00:31:52] Missy: have just centered the

[00:31:53] Susanne: I could have just sent her the tape. Yes, and I gave her some tips out of it too. So, yeah, that’ll be a really good 1 coming up here.

[00:31:59] Missy: Yeah. So if you know anybody who’s on the verge of taking parental leave, that’s going to be a great episode for them.

[00:32:06] Susanne: Yes. And you know what? I, I would say any kind of leave. So, even if

[00:32:10] Missy: Yeah. Really.

[00:32:11] Susanne: if there is no infant or child or elderly parent, or any special needs that are involved, if you’re just taking a break for your break, um, it’s helping you

[00:32:21] Missy: Good information.

[00:32:22] Susanne: Plan for that pause or for that shift in your life.

So,

[00:32:26] Missy: Yeah.

[00:32:27] Susanne: highly, highly recommend both of those that are coming up. And then, yeah, we’ll just have to wait to hear about the rest.

[00:32:33] Missy: I think we’re going to have some business owners on talking about that and

[00:32:38] Susanne: Some midlife amazing women. Um, yeah.

[00:32:43] Missy: cool stuff. And then like we talked about earlier, some health and wellness, and I’m very interested in exploring some of this, like when your life is, I don’t want to say upended, that feels dramatic, but my life changed drastically, quickly. And, or not my life, my body, I don’t know,

[00:33:01] Susanne: That’s your life. It is your life. Yeah.

[00:33:04] Missy: lot happened.

And so I’m really interested now in, you know, coming back from that and what that looks like. And I know I probably haven’t done it all quite right, but we’re going to have some experts come on and talk to us about that mindset and the shift and how you, how you get back to whatever, I don’t know, I don’t like to say normal, but you kind of get back to whatever it is you’re going back to,

[00:33:27] Susanne: Yeah. And especially if where you’re going back to is a workplace, I’ve got to imagine that enters some, some other complications or just some nuances to think about. So

[00:33:38] Missy: And like, it’s like a phase, my phase of life is so different. I do not recommend, if you have a choice, I do not recommend turning 50, which I haven’t yet, but it’s coming in soon, um, turning 50, sending your first child off to college and having cancer in the same year. I don’t recommend it. Yeah.

Zero out of 10 stars in a real mind fuck. Um, so, yeah, it’s a lot. So we’re going to talk to some experts about what to do when everything just feels really different and trying to wrap your head around it

[00:34:11] Susanne: Yes. Oh, my gosh, I’m so excited. And you know what? We’re going to be kind of selfish this year about answering some of the questions we really want answers to and bringing on coaches for those. But we want you all to be selfish too. So definitely either in the socials or reach out to us, let us know, um, some of the things that you want to hear about some questions you want to have answered.

I know I’ve had a friend reach out specifically. She’s managing a team of people who work from home. so not even necessarily. freelancing part time, but a full time workers working from home and trying to navigate the ins and outs of that, the different ways of managing your time around that, how to avoid any pitfalls when you have two of you working from home, how do you divide the space or how are you managing the division of labor around the house?

[00:35:02] Missy: It’s just the bandwidth, like the internet bandwidth, like just as we started. I was like, Mark’s getting off any minute and he’s going to leave the internet and mine will speed up. How do you have enough juice coming into your house to do that?

[00:35:14] Susanne: Yes. So working from home is going to be probably something, again, kind of a new reality post COVID that people are running into more and more of like how to make this work for me, how to make your space work for you, how to make your time work for you. I spent two days last week cleaning out this, What do we call it, our closet office?

[00:35:35] Missy: our Clawfice

[00:35:36] Susanne: And it’s so silly, I’ll just send a picture of it, one of the small things for the past three years, I have been balancing this laptop right here on a box. I think it was the box that my microphone came in. Yes, just in case I need to return it.

[00:35:52] Missy: by the

[00:35:53] Susanne: It is a good box. In fact, I may, now I did, I finally recycled it.

But I realized I’ve got this, I was like what could I put it on that’s a little more elegant and I put, oh actually I probably should, I was wondering why I’m a little off from usual, oops I gotta pull it up, but I’ve got a little cute wooden um jewelry box that was always shoved behind a bunch of like shirts and stuff in the closet and so I took the time to clean out and organize that and now My laptop sits on top of that, so when it’s not in use, I don’t have this microphone box just sitting on my dresser for an

[00:36:29] Missy: It

[00:36:29] Susanne: amount of time.

[00:36:30] Missy: my Clawfice is, oh. I mean, not to make excuses, but for a while, it was really hard for me to reach and lift.

[00:36:38] Susanne: yeah, that’s not an excuse. That is legit.

[00:36:41] Missy: I can’t even really do justice to what I did in here, which was just kind of throw things in places and I hung things like the easiest place to reach.

So my clothes are all crammed in weird places. And so now I can reach and lift and I need to come in here and just reset. I need a big reset.

[00:37:00] Susanne: Yes. You know what? I was just talking to a friend’s mom about She had had, uh, mastectomy years, decades ago, and that range of motion point, she’s like, she was so mad, she said, I can’t believe no one told me, how Big of a deal that was going to be that I can’t lift my arms more than, you know, a few inches for quite a long time.

And she was, so I do think, again, we keep on saying we need to have that dedicated episode, but I think there’ll be, some really good points that are brought up just so, cause I’m sure when that happened to you, you were like, well, surely something must be wrong. Like there, this can’t be something that happens.

[00:37:39] Missy: I was warned and actually I was, I was told my restrictions would be even more extreme than they were, but I was told to prepare to have T Rex arms

[00:37:47] Susanne: Yes.

[00:37:48] Missy: a while. And, um, I was terrified actually because it sounded horrible and my surgeon’s a little more liberal with that and as soon as she saw that I had healed to a certain point, she was like, you can’t hurt it. You need to go and do. And of course at the time I was like my, I could get my arms about here and she’s like, Oh no, you need to be doing more. But even so I had to advocate hard to get into physical therapy because she thought I could just do it on my own.

And maybe some people can, but I knew myself, I was going to be afraid to like do too much. And even though she said you cannot hurt it, do whatever. I still was afraid, um, so I had to advocate hard to get physical

[00:38:28] Susanne: Good for you.

[00:38:29] Missy: get into physical therapy, which is a whole other thing.

Um,

[00:38:33] Susanne: Yeah,

[00:38:34] Missy: I mean, it was stunning to not be able to do, like, I couldn’t wash my hair because I couldn’t get my hands up there. And guess what? Mark, not a great hair washer. Not so good at it.

[00:38:47] Susanne: Oh, I think we cut the part out earlier where we said our sons had such beautiful curly hair because of, because of not washing it. It’s so fun, the less they wash it, like the curlier and more beautiful it gets.

[00:38:57] Missy: So beautiful. Yes.

[00:38:59] Susanne: Doesn’t smell great. Looks cute though.

[00:39:01] Missy: Right. Yeah, don’t kiss him on the head, but it really looks cute.

[00:39:04] Susanne: It doesn’t work for us as well. Oh my gosh. Okay, so is there anything else we need to let people know about what’s coming up here?

[00:39:12] Missy: I think so. We’ll put it on the socials too, but for real, if anything we’ve said, like, sparks something in you and you know an expert or somebody that we should talk to, let us know. And if there’s anything you want us to talk about, Let us know, because we have an exciting year, it’s wide open in front of us.

We can do all kinds of great mom and dot, dot, dot things.

[00:39:33] Susanne: Yes. And if you do not bring it up, like I said, we’re getting selfish this year. We’re bringing in everybody for stuff that we specifically want to know about. So,

[00:39:42] Missy: I mean, if we want to know about it, surely at least a few other people want to

[00:39:46] Susanne: Well, certainly, cause you know what? I really do think once you get to kind of this stage in life We all have like the same six things we care about.

So I’m sure if we care about it, y’all care about it too. Sorry if you’re some 22 year old who just stumbled in here. All the lessons will be really relevant except for, well, you know what? You can never start planning for menopause too

[00:40:08] Missy: I was getting ready to say, the more knowledge you have before you get to that perimenopause place, the better, so if you think, oh my gosh, it’s so far away from me, it’s coming sister, and you need to know about

[00:40:21] Susanne: We’re going to scare them away.

[00:40:23] Missy: you know, it’s coming, and it’s great, it’s fine, you’re gonna like it,

[00:40:26] Susanne: You’re going to love it. It’s the best. You’re warm all the time. It’s cool. Okay. So I think that is it. We’re going to post this and then in, uh, we’ll see how ambitious I am. I was going to say it’s going to be two weeks after that. We’ll post the next episode, but it’s such a good one.

[00:40:44] Missy: our

[00:40:44] Susanne: Okay, every two

[00:40:45] Missy: should like get on our schedule, that’s good for everybody,

[00:40:48] Susanne: Okay, we’re getting on a schedule, you all. Thank you for helping me set boundaries. Look at me. I’m just so excited to share this episode with

[00:40:55] Missy: Which is a downfall we both have, like, we just get excited and we do it. But we’re gonna, we’re gonna stick to a routine so that everybody knows what to expect, including us.

[00:41:08] Susanne: Oh, I gotta tell you. Okay, so I do want to, this is my closing thoughts of like, for the years I had between career gaps or whatever, and the shock to the system of starting back up. Um, not that much more than the shock to the system of going back to after like a one and a half week holiday break like so just, I mean, just any kind of pause.

It is a shock to the system. So I, I just want to encourage people to just know that even people who are working full time jobs, they, they feel that same amount of like, do I remember like how computer works, like there really is, I mean, you don’t, don’t be too hard on yourself for thinking that you’re too far back there.

It’s just that period of adjustment that is a little bit of a shock to the system, but it. It, oddly enough, was not it’s like, gosh, this Monday was,

[00:42:09] Missy: Just as hard

[00:42:10] Susanne: It was, I mean, it felt like starting up a big long train.

Like, it’s just, you got to get the wheels started again. Then once you start cruising, you’re going fine. But it, yeah, it takes, it takes a minute.

[00:42:23] Missy: brain science, more around health and like physical fitness type stuff, but it applies to everything, of course. Our brains desperately want homeostasis.

[00:42:34] Susanne: Mmm.

[00:42:35] Missy: the brain is like a computer and it wants things to stay the same. And so. Even if the change is good and it’s a change you want and it’s in the changes, whether you’ve been off a week and a half and you have to go back to work or you’re changing the way you eat or whatever it is, your brain is like, No, we we do this now, like the last week and a half we’ve done this.

And so this whatever you’re trying to do today is too hard. And so you just have to be really conscious and be like, Nope. We know how to do it. We’re good. Here we go.

[00:43:05] Susanne: And it does not help when you have two teenagers who still have, like, two weeks of vacation left, just, like, leisurely doing the things that you were doing last week. I mean, like, wait a minute! And your brain’s like, well, why aren’t we still doing that? That looks fun.

[00:43:18] Missy: we just going on a hike or watching a movie and eating popcorn? Or, yeah, it’s hard.

[00:43:23] Susanne: nice. But yes, the boy went back to school today.

[00:43:26] Missy: Oh, good. Yeah, mine went back last week.

[00:43:28] Susanne: Saturday. Oh, really?

[00:43:30] Missy: Our district got out, like, Full week before Christmas,

[00:43:33] Susanne: Oh, wow.

[00:43:35] Missy: yeah, or a little more. So we went back last, on Thursday, and everyone else went back this week.

[00:43:40] Susanne: Oh, yes. And it’s, it’s nice. It’s nice to kind of, like you’re saying, your brain likes a little schedule. So I’m sure,

[00:43:47] Missy: quickly adjusts though too, which I think is amazing. Like in that week and a half, your brain went. This is how we do it now. So you just need a few days to be like, no, this is what we do now.

[00:43:56] Susanne: but you know what? This is a nice little reminder because he’s going to be coming from home from school in about a half an hour. And I’m sure that me being all revved up and ready and like have been doing my thing for the past week is going to have that expectation for him. And just, I know a little.

Reminder to be gentle to your littles who are heading back to school this week. And yeah,

[00:44:16] Missy: 17 year old came in yesterday. So day three of being back at school, but it had a weekend in between there. And he said this, it was such a hard day. Like, I felt like I had a little kid that he doesn’t, he doesn’t usually act like that. He rolls with things pretty well, but it’s hard to make that adjustment back.

[00:44:31] Susanne: yes. Especially cause a lot of them are changing classes to mid semester or

[00:44:35] Missy: Mm hmm.

[00:44:36] Susanne: but at the break between the two semesters. So, okay. Little reminder, I’m going to be extra nice.

[00:44:42] Missy: Be extra gentle with them because, yeah, and they hold themselves together all day long and you know, act like good, decent humans and then they come home to us and don’t have to do that.

[00:44:51] Susanne: Yes.

[00:44:52] Missy: It’s hard.

[00:44:53] Susanne: Good reminder to us all to be gentle to our children and gentle to ourselves when making these big transitions in life. So,

[00:44:59] Missy: Their little computer brains struggle.

[00:45:01] Susanne: yes. Oh, well, I got to do a transition back to work.

[00:45:06] Missy: All right. Have a good rest of your

[00:45:08] Susanne: I know I’m going back to work. and so, yeah, good. We’re so excited to be back with y’all.

[00:45:15] Missy: happy

[00:45:16] Susanne: So. oh, you know what?

Glennon Doyle has been saying this a lot. Apparently Apple did, Apple podcasts, uh, did some type of update over the past month or so, where sometimes the podcasts that you were following or subscribed to got, I think it’s like a pause.

I don’t know exactly what happened.

[00:45:38] Missy: I couldn’t find something the other day and I bet that’s why.

[00:45:41] Susanne: Yeah. Well, and Abby Wambach was like, I had to go unpause my own podcast. Like she wasn’t following her own podcast anymore. Um,

[00:45:51] Missy: do a big push.

[00:45:53] Susanne: yeah,

[00:45:54] Missy: Tell everybody we’re back because they might not be able to find us.

[00:45:57] Susanne: Yeah. So just in case you had been following or if you had not been following and this is your first visit, go follow, because we’ve got lots of good stuff coming up and while you’re waiting in between weeks, that gives you a ton of time to go and catch up on some of our past episodes.

Uh, so. We’re so excited to be back. We’re so excited to be with you. Go follow us on all the socials so that you can get all the good information and so you can reach out to us and let us know what you want to hear about this year.

[00:46:25] Missy: Yeah. Please do. Please tell us. Don’t be shy.

[00:46:28] Susanne: All right. I guess I better get back to work.

[00:46:32] Missy: Have a great rest of your afternoon and we will see y’all in two weeks.

[00:46:36] Susanne: right. Bye bye. [00:46:38] Missy: Bye

The post We’re Back from Battling Cancer, Relaunching Careers & Missing Y’all! appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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September 21, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 131 / Guest: Dr. Lauren CookSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:When was the last time you felt anxious? Did just reading that question bring up some uncomfortable feelings? For many of us, anxiety is more than just a buzzword. This week, we are talking with Dr. Lauren Cook, a clinical psychologist and the author of GENERATION ANXIETY (available now!), about anxiety and mental health. Dr. Lauren’s expertise lies in helping people understand what anxiety is, where it lives in our bodies, and how we can manage it.

Topics From This Episode:* Book – GENERATION ANXIETY * The perfect time to become a parent (spoiler: there isn’t one) * Career pivots * Feeling anxious vs. anxiety disorder * The Four Ds: Distressed, Deviance, Dysfunction, Danger * Confirmation bias * Normalizing anxiety without minimizing it * The biology behind anxiety * Alex Honnold, Free Climber * Brain-gut connection * Inflammation * Bloodwork to identify deficiencies * Accessibility to healthcare * Base for lab work * Raising kids with healthy brains and bodies * Empowering our children to take action * The negative side of “positive thinking” * Changing behavior * The power of community * Having real conversations with friends * Reframing the “what ifs” * Discomfort is okay * Setting boundaries * Ghosting creates anxiety * Kristen van Ogtrop in Episode 15 of the Mom &… Podcast * Brene Brown on the opposite of play (Missy butchered the quote and only loosely explained the concept in the show, so go listen to Brene!)

Look, Listen, LearnsSusanne

Vintage Framing Studio
THE COVENANT OF WATER by Abraham Verghese
Seattle summer > Austin summer (duh)

Lauren

The Bear on Hulu
THE POWER OF FUN by Catherine Price
Learning about the importance of creating family traditions

Missy

THERE’S NO COMING BACK FROM THIS by Ann Garvin
After the Bite on Max
Learning Photoshop

More About Dr. Lauren Cook:Dr. Lauren Cook is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, company consultant, author, and speaker. With a doctorate in Clinical Psychology and her Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy, Dr. Lauren appears frequently in the media to provide commentary while also working with companies as well as individual adults, couples, families, and teens to help reduce anxiety and improve personal and professional outcomes. She integrates evidence-based tools from a systems lens and she speaks internationally, both in-person and virtually. Dr. Lauren owns a private practice, Heartship Psychological Services, serving all clients residing in California. Dr. Lauren’s latest book, GENERATION ANXIETY, hits the shelves in September 2023.

Connect with Dr. Lauren Cook:* TikTok * Instagram * Website * Heartship Psychological Services * Book: GENERATION ANXIETY

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

[00:00:00] Susanne: Welcome to the MomAnne dot dot dot podcast, the podcast that helps you make your ellipses count. You know, all the little dot dot dots that come after I’m a mom and, and I’m Susanne Kerns a mom and dot dot dot writer, LGBTQ and sex ed advocate, and this week I am soaking in every minute of the last week with our daughter living under our roof.

We drive off in a week and.

[00:00:29] Missy: I just can’t even believe it. By the time this Episode is on, she’ll be like settled in.

[00:00:34] Susanne: I know. I know. And I think this may be a really smart thing to do. Uh, we’re going to be driving with her across the entire country for three days, which after that, we may just have had all enough of each other that we’re ready to say goodbye. We’ll see. Or it’s just so amazing that it makes it even harder.

So we will see. But she’ll be back for ACL. Like, yeah, it’s

[00:00:58] Missy: Oh, soon.

[00:00:59] Susanne: Yeah, she’ll be back soon, so that’s

good.

[00:01:02] Lauren: where’s she headed?

[00:01:03] Susanne: is heading to Rochester, Rochester Institute of Technology, so pretty far from Texas.

[00:01:10] Lauren: Oh, that’s amazing. That’s a big milestone moment.

[00:01:13] Susanne: Yes, we’re excited.

[00:01:15] Missy: Well, it’s hard to follow that, but I’m Missy Stevens, mom, and dot, dot, dot, writer, foster child advocate, and this week I’m just in post vacation recovery and am a hot mess. But we’re getting it all together. Our guest this week is Dr. Lauren Cooke. Lauren is a licensed clinical psychologist, company consultant, author, and speaker with a doctorate in clinical psychology and her master’s in marriage and family therapy.

Dr. Lauren appears frequently in the media to provide commentary while also working with companies as well as individual adults, couples, families, and teens to help reduce anxiety and improve personal and professional outcomes. Dr. Lauren owns a private practice, HeartShip Psychological Services, serving all clients residing in California.

You can connect with Dr. Lauren through TikTok, Instagram, where we met her, her brain health book club, and through her podcast, The Boardroom Brain. And of course, stay tuned for her latest book, Generation Anxiety. It’s back there behind Suzanne set to hit the shelves in September, 2023, which I think this will be airing in September, 2023.

[00:02:20] Susanne: Yes, but we got a sneak peek, yay!

[00:02:23] Lauren: Well, thank you. I feel like this is gonna be a fun conversation. I like the two of you. This is fun.

[00:02:29] Missy: Thank

[00:02:29] Susanne: We like you too!

[00:02:30] Missy: Thank you. We’re so looking forward to it and we’re going to jump right in. We got a picture of what you’re doing in your bio, but we’d love if we could get like a Dr. Lauren one on one to give a snapshot of your career in life. And especially if you had any pivots, like maybe motherhood.

[00:02:47] Lauren: Yeah,

[00:02:47] Missy: Yeah.

[00:02:48] Lauren: like 10 weeks ago, .

[00:02:50] Missy: Oh my gosh.

[00:02:51] Susanne: Oh my goodness!

[00:02:53] Lauren: I know I have a little two month old in the other room and I’m like low key sweating, hoping we. It’s recording without some big tears, but yeah, so I’m a very new mom and, uh, author, psychologist, speaker, and navigating all of those changes happening right now. But, but honestly, it’s been really good. And I was just posting about that the other day of like, I feel like everybody tells you all the, like, really hard parts about being a parent.

And it wasn’t until I got pregnant that people started saying, like, how amazing it was. And it, and, you know, now that I’m in it, I’m like, yeah, this is pretty cool. Like, this is pretty amazing. I’m glad I did this. And regrets. Um,

[00:03:37] Susanne: I have a friend who’s due soon, so I’m going to play that clip for her over and over. I’m glad I did this. I’m glad I did this.

[00:03:45] Lauren: it’ll be

[00:03:45] Missy: Yeah.

[00:03:46] Lauren: So, and I write about that in Generation Anxiety, like, There’s no perfect time to do a lot of things, especially becoming a parent. Uh, and so I’m glad I took the plunge, even if I had a book coming out four months later, like that’s, you know, that’s just the

[00:04:01] Missy: That’s some timing.

[00:04:03] Lauren: isn’t it?

[00:04:03] Missy: You had all your babies at once.

[00:04:05] Lauren: Yes, I had twins this year, like human baby, book baby, you know,

[00:04:10] Susanne: Oh my gosh. And now, was that a straight line for you then? It sounds like your career has been your path, you know, since college. Is that true? Or have there been any pivots in your career as well?

[00:04:22] Lauren: well, I’d say my pivot was more in college. You know, I went in as a biz econ major at UCLA and quickly saw the calculus courses and said, Okay, that’s maybe not for me. And then I got into journalism, actually, like I spent some time at NBC News and E News and thought maybe I wanted to be a journalist.

but, you know, there was a part of me that was really wanting to have that like one on one experience with people and also not travel quite so much at that time. I mean, new journalists, you got to be ready to move wherever they’re going to send you.

[00:04:56] Missy: Right.

[00:04:57] Lauren: So, you know, I thought, Okay, I feel like psychology really marries all those components that I want to have that you.

There’s still that storytelling and that narrative piece in psychology for sure, but, you know, really helping people build on their future and how they want to grow in their lives. And so that’s what really pulled me into psychology. and I love it. It’s been a really, really great path. I, I haven’t met many psychologists that say they regret this career and I’m included in that.

[00:05:24] Susanne: And now, okay, so we want to jump to your new book, which, baby number two, Generation Anxiety, which, I mean, I think every generation has their own anxiety, and we’re going to get to that in a little bit. But before we I think you addressed very early on in the book something that probably a lot of our listeners may be feeling is it feels like sometimes that everybody has anxiety now.

It’s just, it used to be so taboo and no one would ever talk about it, but now it’s like hashtag anxiety for pretty much everything that’s going on in anybody’s life. So how do people differentiate if they are just Feeling anxious about a particular thing, or if they truly have an anxiety disorder, or they are just a human that is living in 2023.

Like how, how can you tell the difference between these things?

[00:06:20] Lauren: Yeah. No, I’m so glad you bring that up because I was just having a conversation about this the other day with someone that it, the term almost is getting overused. You know, everything is anxiety. Is it really though, you know, and we talk about what we call the four D’s. And I think this is a really helpful way to differentiate.

you feeling stressed, worried, which is pretty normal from time to time, or is it something like a generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, OCD, something like that. So four D’s, here we go.

[00:06:49] Susanne: Mm

[00:06:50] Lauren: One, if you yourself are feeling distressed by your experience, if you’re worrying about how much you’re worrying, right, we call that meta worrying, there’s one for you.

If you’re noticing a deviance, and what I mean by that is if we’re looking at a bell shaped curve, a deviance from the norm, so a norm in your own life, for example, where you’re like, ooh, this isn’t how I normally operate day to day, I’m noticing like a real increased reaction here, or deviance in terms of when you’re looking at your peers and people around you.

Ooh, I’m not noticing that everybody else is having a panic attack when we’re out to dinner. For example,

[00:07:23] Susanne: hmm.

[00:07:24] Missy: Yeah.

[00:07:24] Lauren: dysfunction. And I think this one’s really, really key to note here. Are you not able to keep up with the obligations in your life? Are you not able to achieve and work towards the goals that you want to do if there’s dysfunction happening?

And the last we’ve got to normalize this is if there’s any sense of danger, if you yourself are feeling unsafe, if you’re waking up saying. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow. Or if you’re having thoughts of hurting someone else, those four D’s components of them are present, that’s when we may be meeting more criteria.

But I think that’s something that is really important for us to talk about because yeah, everybody says, Oh, I’m anxious. But do we really understand what that means

[00:08:04] Missy: It is such a buzzword now that I, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t said they are anxious and especially in the last, I don’t know, five years or so. Um, and particularly in the last three. And, You know, I think, I think it’s so great to give that framework to walk through like what is this really doing to your life,

[00:08:24] Lauren: Yeah. And it’s, it’s hard, right? Because I mean, I’m on TikTok myself. I love a good psychology TikTok. It’s hard because we see these 30 second soundbites, right? Of like, here’s

[00:08:35] Missy: right?

[00:08:36] Lauren: of anxiety. And it’s like confirmation bias. Well, I have that. I don’t always sleep through the night.

So I must have anxiety,

[00:08:44] Missy: Hmm.

[00:08:45] Lauren: And on the one hand, it’s so great. We’re normalizing it. But we also don’t want to minimize it either, because for folks living with anxiety, it can be really debilitating.

[00:08:55] Missy: Yeah.

[00:08:56] Lauren: something I write in the book that, you know, it’s not just some casual thing. It can really cause a lot of distress for someone who’s experiencing it.

And so, it’s great. We’re normalizing it, but we also don’t want to minimize it at the same time.

[00:09:10] Missy: No. And you talk a lot about the key to starting to get a grip on all of this is really understanding it and understanding the biology behind it, which I found really, really fascinating. And I’m wondering if you can take a few minutes to talk to our listeners about that because I was eyeopening to look at it from a truly like, this is a biological thing, not all just our world around us.

[00:09:33] Lauren: No, 100%. And there’s two kind of key components of this. So one is that amygdala part of the brain, right? It’s almond shaped, very small. It’s how so, so deep in our brain at the real kind of instinctual level. know, folks who experience anxiety tend to have an overactive amygdala.

[00:09:50] Missy: Hmm.

[00:09:51] Lauren: there are a lot of different things in the environment that may cause some stress for some, but if you’re experiencing anxiety, it’s going to be level 10 for you.

It’s going to be much more intense. On the flip side, you have people who have underactive amygdalas, right? They might be the person like Alex Honnold who free climbs, you know, Yosemite, right?

[00:10:09] Susanne: love that example. That is, that spoke to me in a deep way.

[00:10:13] Missy: I have a couple people in my life who I think maybe don’t have an amygdala, like they just aren’t worried about anything. It’s all mine. I’m like, how?

[00:10:23] Lauren: Total chillers, right? I know. Yeah. And that really can be on a neurological level. You know, the other side of this, and this is something I get so excited about, because we often talk about anxiety from such a heady space. Anxiety is so physical, like it is so housed in our entire body. And we’re really starting to have cool conversations about this gut brain access connection.

of our serotonin is housed in our gut. So it’s not surprising when you hear 60% of folks with IBS also have an anxiety disorder. It’s very closely connected. So it’s interesting as we’re starting to talk about even the foods we eat, the things we drink, how that affects our, body chemistry and in turn our experience of anxiety.

I know for myself, like, healing my gut, that actually healed my panic attacks, more than cognitive work ever did. And obviously, I love some good cognitive work, I’m a therapist, but we gotta look at the whole body when we’re looking at healing anxiety.

[00:11:24] Susanne: Ooh, okay, let’s, let’s tangent there because I find that fascinating and I, I think just like anxiety has been kind of a buzzword, I think gut has also become a buzzword and also a whole industry for people selling all kinds of products that are supposedly going to fix your gut and make it perfect and whatever.

So what are some actual everyday little changes that we can work into our life or at least be more conscious about when we are making decisions about what to put in our body and that could impact our gut and therefore our anxiety.

[00:11:58] Lauren: Yeah, well, I always say start with getting your blood work done. There are so many folks that have not gotten their blood work done, spend thousands of dollars on therapy, and lo and behold, someone had, you know, a B12 insufficiency, for example,

[00:12:13] Susanne: Mm hmm. Mm

[00:12:14] Lauren: times with people who are vegan, for example.

[00:12:17] Missy: Right.

[00:12:17] Lauren: they’ll come in and they’ll say, I have all these ADHD symptoms, brain fog, all these things. Let’s look at B12. So, start with your base, your baseline blood work. That’s really important, especially looking at vitamin D. There’s a huge percentage of people in this country that are vitamin D deficient.

Uh huh.

[00:12:34] Susanne: hmm.

[00:12:35] Lauren: that really can contribute to symptoms of anxiety and depression. So we have to look at all these things, other things that really make a big difference. And all this one is so hard for me because I am such a sugar addict. Like that’s the thing I really have to work

[00:12:50] Susanne: Yes.

[00:12:51] Lauren: It’s so inflammatory in the gut.

[00:12:53] Missy: Right.

[00:12:54] Lauren: look at how that impacts anxiety. And in turn, Alcohol as well. You know, it’s interesting. There’s really a movement lately, you know, sober curious and things like that.

[00:13:04] Missy: Yeah.

[00:13:05] Lauren: back on their drinking and in turn seeing that their anxiety often really does reduce in that process.

so those are some things cut back on the sugar cut back on the alcohol. Stay hydrated, right? Hydration is huge for the brain. We could go on and on about these things. And I have a whole list in the book. But, um, yeah, that’d be a good starting place, I’d say.

[00:13:25] Missy: We’ve talked about this some before in the podcast, but we’ve both cut way back on alcohol. And during the pandemic, we, we ramped it up. We didn’t even realize we were doing it, you know, that like, Oh, well, we’re, school’s closed for two weeks. It’s kind of vacation. Let’s have a cocktail turned into the world is ending.

Let’s have a cocktail turned into this is never going away. Like it got out of control. And of course, it was also a highly. Stressful time in the world. And so anxiety was way up. And I think we’ve both noticed a huge difference in taking that down. We’re still dealing, I mean, COVID is still a thing. There are all kinds of other issues in the world, but like I’m sleeping through the night and it’s a huge, huge difference.

[00:14:09] Susanne: it’s just a cruel part of nature that the things that we think we’re doing to comfort and calm ourselves, like having a glass

[00:14:16] Missy: A cookie and a glass of wine.

[00:14:19] Susanne: to some ice cream. I mean, it’s just like so mean. Like, why would nature make us want those things when it’s so bad for us? It’s not nice.

[00:14:29] Lauren: I agree, I agree. Yeah, those, those things though, like ice cream, yeah, they do like, they trick our brain, right? Because

[00:14:36] Missy: Yes.

[00:14:37] Lauren: have ice cream, but yeah, it’s, it’s, uh, it knows exactly how to get into our brain in that way.

[00:14:43] Susanne: Yeah, my body is convinced that peanut butter puffins were a building block of my ancestral line. I don’t know.

[00:14:51] Lauren: Me and Cocoa Krispies, right

[00:14:53] Susanne: Oh, so good. So good. Okay. But no, I, I do want to echo again that point about getting your blood work done. I had an issue when I was in college. I was down for the count for about two years, which we couldn’t figure out what it was.

I. think it was when my Hashimoto’s kicked in. And so, I had an undiagnosed thyroid issue, which once got that under control, everything seemed to be a lot better. I was like, well, that was a waste of two years in bed. so that was unfortunate and no one ever thought to check. My blood.

[00:15:31] Missy: I mean, that’s

[00:15:32] Susanne: I know. I mean, how I was going to these doctors forever.

So demand the blood work. Same thing. This was not related to anxiety, but when my appendix exploded, um, I went for almost five days. for five days. I do not know how I lived. And at the point when I was going into the doctor they were like, Oh, no, you’re fine. Just go on a brat diet. It’s just stomach upset.

And no one ordered a blood test despite the fact that I’ve been having all these symptoms for a week. So just always Command the blood work and I do know that that is that is a privileged standpoint to take because not everybody has the insurance coverage to be able to do that. And I also noticed, even for those of us who are privileged to have the insurance to cover it that vitamin D test.

Was a huge extra charge. I don’t know if labs are trying to tamper down demand because people are getting it checked so frequently. But I had to have, uh, the doctor before they even drew my blood last time were like, By the way, the, the vitamin D portion of this, do you still want to do it? Because it’s going to be XYZ extra. cost on it. So just be aware of that. Um, make sure that you are aware of what your insurance covers and doesn’t cover. I mean, I felt it was valuable enough to know because it has had such an impact on my life, but, um, just be aware of that. So, we talked about the nutritional advice. Okay. Sugar and alcohol.

I can do that. We can do that, people.

[00:17:04] Missy: can’t do it.

[00:17:05] Susanne: it’s not asking too much.

[00:17:08] Missy: No,

[00:17:09] Susanne: Yes.

[00:17:10] Missy: no.

[00:17:10] Lauren: one quick thing on that, too, because I’m I’m right there with you in terms of accessibility. one company that I really like the work that they do on this is called base, and it allows you to take action to get the blood work that you want for yourself. So you do still have to pay for it, but then you don’t necessarily have to go through a doctor to get that information.

So that can be a resource to for folks because I agree. The accessibility is It’s really frustrating, and that’s something that we need to absolutely make a change with.

[00:17:41] Susanne: Oh, that’s really

[00:17:42] Missy: that information and put that in our show notes so that, because sometimes you do think like, what are my options? I don’t know what to do. Or your doctor won’t order something can be very frustrating to be asking and asking and not get it.

[00:17:55] Susanne: Yeah.

[00:17:56] Missy: Well, we want to pivot a little bit cause I really, we could do three podcasts, I think on just the gut brain connection.

I think it is fascinating, but we have more things we want to talk to you about today. And, one of the things we really found interesting in the book is we are Gen Xers and we are raising Gen Zs, but a lot of our listeners are also millennials raising Gen Alphas and, um, you know, yes, like you. And. We all have these defining moments in our generation that are impacting our anxiety.

What should we be thinking about for our Zs and Alphas that we are trying to raise with a healthy brain and body?

[00:18:32] Lauren: Yeah. So I write a lot about this in the book, this idea of empowered acceptance, because let’s be real. There are a lot of things happening right now that are really scary for our young adults and our kids. You know, I remember distinctly as a millennial. You know, when Columbine happened and that kind of set off a whole trajectory, you know, where now these things happen on a daily basis.

What’s really interesting too, when you look at these studies of what people say are defining moments in their generation, almost every generation, obviously Gen Z doesn’t have a 11th. Was a huge turning point in people’s lives of really feeling like the world is unsafe. The world is changing. I mean, that really set a precedent, especially for millennials, you know, being in elementary, middle school, high school, watching this play out on television was very much a turning point in reality.

So, you know, as we look at these things, we have to accept what is we have to talk about these situations that are happening. We can’t just put our head in the sand and say, La la

[00:19:38] Missy: Mm-hmm.

[00:19:39] Lauren: this isn’t going on, you know, even with climate change, right? We can’t just ignore that. It is in fact getting hotter, right?

We are

[00:19:46] Missy: It is

[00:19:49] Susanne: Especially in Texas.

[00:19:51] Lauren: Yeah, we

[00:19:51] Missy: Yeah,

[00:19:52] Lauren: how hot it is and we can’t just ignore these things, but on the flip side of that, we also have to be empowered in our approach. We have to take action because what we naturally see happen when people experiencing all these sad, scary events. You feel helpless and you feel hopeless, and that leads to anxiety, and over time, that leads to depression.

We don’t want people to be apathetic and say, Okay, this is just what it is. No, we have to say, Okay, I see this for what it is, and I’m going to do something about it. That’s something I get especially excited about with Gen Z. I mean, we’ll see what happens with Gen Alpha, but Gen Z, they are like, uh uh.

Like, I am not going to stand by and just watch the ship go down.

[00:20:36] Missy: Right.

[00:20:37] Susanne: Yeah.

[00:20:37] Lauren: we’re going to rebuild the Titanic as it’s sinking kind

[00:20:40] Missy: Yeah. Right,

[00:20:41] Lauren: So I have a lot of hope, you know, with Gen Z, especially Millennials. We got to get in on it, too. And Gen X. Let’s support our kids and in all of this, you know, to make sure we’re all speaking up about these things, these injustices that we see happening so that it doesn’t feel just so stuck to one generation to solve all these problems.

[00:21:01] Susanne: I know

[00:21:02] Missy: I, do always say I’m hopeful,

[00:21:03] Susanne: yeah, I know my

[00:21:05] Missy: but they’re like, it’s not just me.

[00:21:06] Susanne: fix us, fix us kids. They’re like, you’re the ones that messed it up. Oh, I like that idea about taking action though and how that can help give a little bit more feeling of. control or some autonomy over things.

[00:21:21] Lauren: Mm hmm. Yeah. We have to jump in. And, and we have to do it individually in our own lives. Like, we can’t avoid, you know, I, I talk all the time about not letting anxiety call the shots on your life. You are going to feel anxious sometimes and that’s okay, but we also have to do this collectively as a society too, because people feel so isolated and lonely right now.

And we really need community to say like, Hey, I’m not going to stand by and let these things happen. Let’s be a part of changing things for the better together.

[00:21:52] Susanne: Love

[00:21:52] Missy: a great point.

[00:21:53] Susanne: Come on. Come on, youngsters. Help us.

[00:21:56] Missy: no pressure. Save us all. Mm-hmm.

[00:21:59] Susanne: But okay, so there’s all these external factors that are happening in the environment that we can take actions toward to help improve them. but you know, they still can contribute to anxiety, but I think I don’t know, Missy and I talk about this a lot. I think the biggest number is what we do on ourselves through our own negative thoughts, um, that don’t have anything to do with what’s going on in the outside world, usually.

So how can we address like these negative thoughts that we may be having by also avoiding what I just love that you referred to as the BS of positive thinking. So maybe talk about what you mean about the BS of positive thinking and then also talk about how we can use what, what replaces that positive thinking to, um, help address those negative thoughts.

[00:22:47] Lauren: Yeah, yeah. I hate to say it, but we can’t just positively think our way out of situations, you know? Try as we might. So the brain is hard, right? I say in the book it’s a wild and free agent, and it is. Like, our brain gives us all kinds of wild, weird thoughts all the time. And a lot of people get really anxious about what does it mean that I’m thinking this?

What does this say about me?

[00:23:12] Missy: Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

[00:23:13] Lauren: is just going to do weird, funky things. And that’s the brain. That’s what it does. and most of the time, in fact, they’re negative in nature. They’re ruminative. And so the more we know that about the brain, the more we can stop thinking I’m the weird oddball.

[00:23:28] Susanne: Hmm. Yeah.

[00:23:28] Lauren: and odd, you know, that’s why I say like, I wish people could come to a therapy session and hear what people say behind closed doors, because we’d all realize, oh my gosh, we all are thinking about that time in second grade when we, you know, farted in class or. That time last week when we said that thing and we’re still thinking, what did that person think about my comment?

All these things, right? So we have to really be mindful of that. And this is where I’m a, I’m a big behaviorist, actually, you know, you have to take action in your life to show yourself. That you can live with anxiety, that you are capable. So many people have really bad imposter syndrome because they let their brain just absolutely call the shots on their life.

And the brain’s going to tell you all the time, you’re not ready, you’re not smart enough, you’re not good enough, blah, blah, blah. And you have to say to yourself, Okay, I feel anxious. I feel scared. That’s okay. I don’t need to let that stop me from asking that person out on a date or talking to my boss about asking for a pay raise.

And what’s really cool about all of this is that the more you do it, the lower those waves of anxiety are going to be. It’s going to get easier over time and you ride out those waves and see, Oh, I did get through that. The world didn’t end. I survived. And then the brain starts to buy in and say, Ooh, okay, maybe you can do this.

so that’s why I’m a behaviorist more than a positive thinker. You have to show yourself the evidence and then the brain will buy in.

[00:25:02] Missy: I love that so much, and I love what you’ve said about like if other people could hear what was going on in therapy sessions, like, I think because we are more and more isolated in the last few years have been incredibly isolating. You start to get in your head and you’re like, I am the only one.

I had a conversation the other day where a friend just was telling me about something happening in her marriage. Not devastating world ending stuff, just marriage stuff happening. But I hadn’t had a conversation like that in a while. And it made me realize that like, I had forgotten that that’s just normal stuff in a marriage.

So the last time that I had had a moment like that with my partner, I was thinking, well, that’s it. We’re probably, you know, we’ve been married all these years, but we’re probably not going to make it one day more because he’s driving me crazy. And. You have to have those conversations if you can’t get to a therapist individually, what do you recommend for people who are feeling isolated and maybe don’t have the access to a therapist or the means for a therapist?

Like, are there things to do?

[00:26:01] Lauren: Oh, yeah. Yeah. We need to be having real talk with our friends. I had a similar situation with one of my besties, Hannah, where we, we really got real with each other and we need that, you know, so much of the time we’re so just starved on small talk with each other. It amazes me. You know, sometimes I’ll go out to a meal with like on a couple state and we’ll just talk the whole time about what, what are we watching?

What are the cool restaurants in town? Okay, that’s fine. But like, we’re not really going deep and getting to know each other. My husband’s like, well, Lauren, that’s because you’re a therapist. I’m like, know. We really have to get vulnerable with each other and like

[00:26:41] Missy: Yeah.

[00:26:42] Lauren: other on a deeper level.

So I think we’re kind of starved socially in that way. And, you know, I do think not to be too cliche here, but I do think social media plays a part in that where People really just post the highlights of everything that’s going well in life. Um, or they’re posting the real, like, deep, low lights, too. And not always the ordinary mundane, you know,

[00:27:05] Missy: Right.

[00:27:06] Lauren: sometimes life is boring.

And that’s okay. I think sometimes we feel like we need these extremes. the reality is, you know, a lot of the time, a, it’s a normal, boring Tuesday. And that’s okay. That doesn’t mean your life is not amazing and wonderful at the same time.

[00:27:23] Susanne: Well, speaking of normal, boring Tuesdays, one of the things that you bring up in the book is this idea of all the what ifs and how they can keep us from trying new things. And then eventually that can turn into then regret for the things that we did not try and we wish we had tried. And I haven’t mentioned this for a while, but for a long time I was talking about There are so many things that I did not do just because I didn’t know where I was going to park when I got there.

Like that, that was one of my big hangups of what ifs of like, what if I get there and there’s no parking or what if I get there and dah, dah, dah, and the most ridiculous thing, but I feel like admitting that like hopefully will let other listeners know that, yeah, that’s just normal. Some people get hung up on really ridiculous things that make no sense.

And then, you know, you

[00:28:12] Missy: real, real worry. Real

[00:28:14] Susanne: but you can problem solve your way out of that in about five minutes. But for some reason, I managed to use it to stop from doing, or even thinking about doing some, you know, some, some things that could have been really fun. so how do then you, yeah, well, you do it a lot in the book.

For people who have not read the book, talk about reframing these what ifs. So that you can try some things that you might really love doing and also just get rid of the potential future regret of not having tried them.

[00:28:45] Lauren: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think one thing is really important to know that are capable, you know, obviously, we all have different things that can get in the way different things that can make it difficult, right? We have to acknowledge different variability levels, of course. We also have to remind ourselves, though, like, I have capabilities.

I can do different things that maybe my anxiety is telling me that I can’t do. And this part, I think, is really important. I can handle discomfort. You know,

[00:29:14] Susanne: Mm.

[00:29:15] Lauren: have gotten to a place, I think, a lot of times of like, I only want to feel comfort. And a lot

[00:29:21] Missy: Yeah.

[00:29:22] Lauren: happens in the discomfort. And we can live through the discomfort.

You know, I, I see this a lot of times in therapy too. People will experience those things that they’re afraid of. They’ll, they’ll face it either on purpose, like how I have faced my fear of throwing up in therapy actively, or the things that maybe they didn’t plan, but here it is, your partner broke up with you, and now we’re, we’re sitting in the muck of that.

[00:29:45] Missy: Right.

[00:29:45] Lauren: are often really surprised of like, oh wow, like, yeah, this sucks, but like, I’m living through it. I’m getting through it. And our brain, that anticipatory anxiety can be so hard for people sometimes and feel like I could never get through if this and that were to happen. Well, it happens. And then they’re kind of surprised of like, Oh, I’m actually functioning.

I’m getting through it, even though it is hard.

[00:30:10] Susanne: Mm hmm.

[00:30:10] Lauren: that’s important for us to remember, too, that we can sit with discomfort, and it’s often in the discomfort that sometimes really cool, good things come out of that, too.

[00:30:19] Susanne: I want to get that on a T shirt. Yeah, we’ll put that on a pillow for you, Missy. I

[00:30:23] Missy: Yes. Yep. I always want to needlepoint certain things on pillows that I will have guests that say things and I’m like, that’s my pillow this week, but

[00:30:32] Lauren: I love

[00:30:32] Missy: yeah, and like the growth happens in the uncomfortable stuff is really important to remember. I do want it tattooed on my forehead because we don’t want to be uncomfortable. I think about it with my kids, they don’t struggle with anxiety on any level that. You know, do you would think of, Oh my gosh, that’s a really anxious kid. but yeah, they just don’t want to do certain things because it feels scary.

[00:30:55] Susanne: Mm hmm. Yeah. I think mine feel the same way, and it’s because it’s been modeled for them by their mother for the past however many years. Those poor kids. Oh,

[00:31:08] Missy: I mean, Mark and I are very guilty of being like, well, we don’t know what that’s going to be like when we get there. So maybe we don’t want to spend our day doing that because it might be hard when we get there. Yeah. It might suck, but it might be the best thing ever.

[00:31:20] Lauren: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:31:21] Missy: Right.

[00:31:22] Lauren: Or it might be boring, too, but like, still an interesting story. You know, like, speaking of those extremes, too, like… It’s okay if it just is what it is, you know, but I think on the whole, it’s pretty cool to try if we can. And yeah, I felt that just this past weekend, we took a trip to Lake Arrowhead.

It’s like an hour and a half and we had, you know, our son in the backseat and he’s crying and. I don’t know. My husband’s like, we shouldn’t have done this. We shouldn’t have done this. No,

[00:31:50] Susanne: Ha, ha, ha.

[00:31:52] Lauren: I’m like, but like we’re teaching our son, hopefully a message of like a little discomfort if he cries sometimes.

That’s okay. Like, someone gave me the I saw, like, a pamphlet the other day that said, Your child should not cry longer than one minute. And I’m like, Oh man! Okay,

[00:32:10] Missy: it takes longer than one minute to get from point A to point B when you’re crying.

[00:32:14] Lauren: like, am I not supposed to drive a vehicle then for the next, like, year? So, like, we have, I mean, even at a young age, like, it’s okay, like, if we feel discomfort, it’s okay if our kids feel discomfort. That doesn’t mean we’re bad parents. You know, because our kids get a skinny, you know? That’s a great book, by the way.

so we have to, we have to embrace the discomfort, for sure.

[00:32:36] Susanne: okay. Speaking of discomfort, one of the things that causes us a lot of discomfort is saying no to people. It’s setting boundaries. And I don’t want to break any rules by like reading too many things out of the book. Let’s

see. Oh, do I have my readers here, Missy? see, because you talk a lot about how to tell if you are a people pleaser.

You know, a

[00:33:01] Missy: Am I a recovering people

[00:33:02] Susanne: have been too bad of an idea here. Okay, so you can look at the cover of the book while I read this for all of you on YouTube. Okay, so I feel like I need to say yes to every opportunity that comes my way. We do that. And what’s, what’s our little quote that, uh, uh, say no so someone else can say yes or something like that?

I always love that one. often saying yes quickly and then regretting it immediately after. Yes. having trouble confronting others when I’m upset or pretending to agree when internally I really disagree with what’s being said. Oh my gosh. I’d rather feel overwhelmed than disappoint someone.

I mean, check.

[00:33:45] Missy: That is, used to be me, that is my husband to a T.

[00:33:48] Susanne: Really?

[00:33:49] Missy: Oh my gosh, he does not want to disappoint. Well, he’ll disappoint me if he doesn’t want to disappoint. Like anyone, if he tells somebody he’s going to do something, he would rather drown than disappoint them.

[00:34:01] Susanne: Yes, I get that. And then another one that I don’t know, I think this, I’ve been trying to model this for my, my kids recently, and it’s really hard, but, um, I’m friends with people who I don’t really enjoy being around because it’s easier to go along with, than end of friendship. Uh, so yeah, that can be a big.

a big version of people pleasing. And it is something that I had been modeling badly, for my kids. Um, and it’s, it’s hard to tell them because you feel like you’re being judgy.

[00:34:33] Lauren: Mm hmm.

[00:34:35] Susanne: sometimes it’s just a case of like, uh, the chemistry isn’t there, or, you know, it’s just, we don’t have the same values.

And that doesn’t mean that their values are bad, but it just doesn’t align with mine. And that causes. you know, this emotional conflict that, you know, it’s just, I can have other friends that don’t cause that and spend time with them instead. well, for those of us who are going check, check, check, check, check, is there hope for us?

And, uh, what are some good ways to start boundary setting, especially as school is starting back up and we’re going to be getting asked to be on this committee or to sign up for this room mom or to do, do, do. Do so like, how, stop us, stop us. My, my husband used to take all the pens out of my purse before I went to the class meetings.

What’s another way that you can stop?

[00:35:22] Lauren: That is amazing.

[00:35:24] Missy: That’s pretty great.

[00:35:26] Lauren: I feel it too. I mean, this, this for me is one of the hardest pieces, this people pleasing. I think especially, you know, for those who identify as women, it is like ingrained at a young age of like, Be accommodating, you know, it even gets associated. It’s like, are you a good person or are you a bad person?

You know, these like very extremes that really like on an unconscious level, I think sink in for people So one coming back to that discomfort piece get comfortable saying no sit

[00:35:55] Susanne: Mm hmm. Yes.

[00:36:05] Lauren: yes or no to this?

Will I feel relief for saying no or will I feel excited to say yes, know, pay attention to what that data is for you and give yourself just that pause. You know, I think especially with people pleasing, we get what’s called those, you know, permeable boundaries where we take on anything and everything and then we really feel burned out and resentful in that process.

So as we’re doing that again, sit with the discomfort, give yourself that 24 hour window. Don’t immediately say yes. me think about it. Let me get back to you on that. and to your point too of what you were bringing up about, you know, friendships that maybe aren’t a good fit. Friendship breakups, honestly, I see giving people more anxiety sometimes than like a dating breakup.

Sometimes

[00:36:51] Susanne: Yes.

[00:36:53] Lauren: hard to break up and in relationships with a friend. So one thing I think is really important here is clearly Really communicate if something is not working for you. People actually much more appreciate an honest answer, even if it’s hurtful, if you just ghost on them.

Because a lot of times with people pleasing, I’m uncomfortable, so I’m just going to run away from this. And then the other person is left ruminating, well, did I do something wrong? What, what happened? It’s better to clearly communicate, you know, than to, you know, ghost on someone. And then that leads to their own anxiety as well.

[00:37:28] Susanne: Oops. Okay. I did that wrong.

[00:37:30] Missy: like, I think I have created a wake of anxiety behind me at times in my life.

[00:37:36] Susanne: Oh my

gosh.

[00:37:37] Lauren: in the water is bad, bye! Have fun with

[00:37:39] Missy: Just like, I can’t handle that anymore. I’m gone. But then I leave behind me this mess. And yeah, it’s really hard for a people pleaser to be up front and communicate and say, this is not, this is not serving either one of us anymore. Like, and that’s okay. It’s okay.

[00:37:58] Susanne: And I love the idea, sitting in the discomfort of no’s and having enthusiastic yes’s. It’s so funny because that’s one of the main rules of, well not a rule, but for like comprehensive sex ed, is to like have an enthusiastic yes. If it’s not an enthusiastic yes, it’s a no. And so I, I think that that rule should apply through everything.

And I think that’s a, Another important lesson for kids to get. It’s not just about sex ed, it’s about ed for all things in life. That, if it’s not an enthusiastic yes, then it’s a no.

[00:38:32] Missy: And The taking the time to answer. I just think that needs to become standard. Whatever it is, no one should ever demand an answer of you right away. You say I need 24 hours or a week or whatever it is to look at this, then that’s the gift you are to be given.

[00:38:48] Susanne: yeah. Just, okay.

[00:38:51] Missy: I hate that we have to move

[00:38:53] Susanne: have a really big pillow. I have so many things I need to put on this pillow, Miss C.

[00:38:57] Lauren: 100%.

[00:38:57] Missy: I really hope that everyone will get the book. And to that end, where is the best place to find the book? We’ll put all of your socials in the show notes, but is there a central location for finding the book? Where can they order it?

[00:39:09] Lauren: Yeah, so you can buy the book wherever you like to buy books, whether it’s an indie bookstore, Amazon, Target, whatever you like. If you go to drlaurencook. com, you’ll see the Generation Anxiety page there, and there’s all different things that you can do, free downloads and things like that to build off the book.

but, Yeah, I’m so excited for people to get their hands on it. September 19th is the day. And if you prefer audio, I did the audio recording of the book myself. I fought hard for that because there’s a lot of my own story of anxiety in there. So I think I was like 38 weeks pregnant when we recorded And I was like, Oh, please don’t go into labor.

[00:39:47] Susanne: Oh my gosh. The second half of the book is like just some dude.

[00:39:54] Missy: Dr. Lauren is in the hospital.

[00:39:57] Lauren: Right?

[00:39:58] Susanne: Oh my gosh, good for you though, oh my gosh, talk about being a mom and dot, dot, dot doing it all.

[00:40:08] Missy: And also, I just find, I keep getting examples of this in my life lately. So I feel like it’s one of those things the universe is bringing me, but for so long, I feel like women have been relegated to, well, Oh, you’re pregnant then, Oh. You can’t, or you’re a mom and you can’t, and I mean, that’s why we started this podcast.

You are a mom and dot, dot, dot. You can be 38 weeks pregnant and record your book and you can have your baby and then launch your book. You can do all of that.

[00:40:35] Susanne: Yes.

[00:40:36] Lauren: Missy, thank you. That’s really nice to hear. Yeah, yeah. We can do it. And it’s gonna be like messy and not perfect, but… Damn it, we’re going to do it.

[00:40:46] Susanne: Yep,

[00:40:46] Missy: do it.

[00:40:47] Susanne: we can sit in

[00:40:48] Missy: stop listening to that external stuff going, Oh, Oh no, maybe not. Maybe not. Maybe you, you have kids. Don’t do that.

[00:40:54] Susanne: Yeah, and the internal stuff that we’ve created because of the external stuff being pounded into generations of brains. So yes.

[00:41:02] Missy: Right. And again, our brain going at us with the. You can’t. That’s scary. Don’t do

[00:41:07] Susanne: hmm. Mm hmm.

[00:41:09] Missy: Mm

[00:41:10] Lauren: you can do it. You can have a career and be a mom. Like, I am a huge advocate of that because a long time in my life I didn’t believe that was true and that is absolutely not the case.

[00:41:22] Missy: hmm. Absolutely not. You go do it, moms. You can do it.

[00:41:25] Susanne: Oh, whoops, I was going to point to the book, but I put it down when I was quoting it. All right. Generation anxiety, y’all. So yeah, by time this airs. They’ll be pretty darn close to being able to get, if not already. But pre orders are fun.

[00:41:38] Missy: Pre

[00:41:38] Susanne: the gift you give, yeah, pre orders are the gift you surprise yourself with later, because you forget you ordered it, and then you get it in the mail, it’s like you get a little present, so do it now.

[00:41:47] Missy: And it’s so good for the author. Pre orders are fantastic. but it is now time to close up with look, listen, learns, and for anyone who is new here, we’re so glad you’re here. And we hope you come back and listen again.

And the look, listen, learns. Our segment we do at the end of every week, something fun. We talk about what we’re watching, reading, learning might be serious, might be ridiculous. You never know what you’re going to get. And we don’t like to put our guests in the hot seat. So Suzanne, you get to go first. What are you LL ing this week?

[00:42:15] Susanne: Let’s see. I am looking at, I have a ton of new framed artwork. I will give you the photos to put in the show notes, Missy.

[00:42:24] Missy: I saw you were going to talk about this and I need this information because I have a stack of stuff

[00:42:28] Susanne: oh my gosh, I have spent, okay, so my husband bought out, it was an Antones. It was some, I think it was Antones, and they had all these cool concert posters, like signage. We literally have a brunt sign of our booth in our kitchen, um, like exit signs, all kinds of stuff. So a bunch of this was posters that he had gotten.

Um, and. They just weren’t looking right in my 5 Ikea frames and, and, you know, especially with this Willie Nelson, one that was over the fireplace that we just. It needed a little something special to highlight it and I had been looking through second hand stores and Goodwill and like some would be kind of the right size but like what are you gonna do with the matting and blah blah blah or not quite right I so I just was googling like vintage frames in Austin and I came across a vintage framing studio Which is it’s one woman She works out of her garage.

And so she basically goes and gets all these old, all the good stuff from either, you know, I think she says she clears them out of like, what are those things called? The storage units. When people are cleaning stuff out, she’ll go and get it from there, or she’ll get them from consignment shops. And so she just has.

All these frames that you can choose from and then if anything doesn’t quite fit right, she also does the matting and you can choose all the different custom matting to go with it. And of course, if you’re like me, you have a lot of frames that have broken glass in them. Um, so she’ll cut the glass and she’ll reuse glass from other things.

So it’s a lot of reduce, reuse, recycling going

[00:44:06] Missy: I love it.

[00:44:07] Susanne: And so we just went there. It was hot, but because it’s in her garage,

[00:44:14] Missy: writing it down, not like I won’t have access to this information later, but I’m writing it down right now.

[00:44:18] Susanne: but so we just went through and she pulls out a bunch of ideas. You kind of say what you’re looking for and of course she’s pretty familiar with what she’s got and she’ll pull out some stuff and she’s got like all the little swatches of the different matting that you can choose from so you can mix and match and so Like two and a half weeks ago or so, we just took everything and we’re like, here it is and we found a frame for everything.

We had probably seven pieces, I think. so we were shocked that we were able to find something for everything, but she’s so. I don’t want to say loosey goosey. She’s just kind of, she’s kind of Austin, like, in the sense that, like, we just handed over all these prized posters to her, and she wrote something kind of like on a little steno pad, like, oh, it’s going to be about this much, and she showed it to us.

That sound okay? And no receipt, no everything. We drove away. Chris is like, we are never seeing those again, and that was our big joke for a couple weeks. We’re like, yep, those are on eBay right now. Like, we’re never gonna see them again, but nope. she’s legit,

[00:45:16] Missy: Oh good, because I have a stack. I probably have 10 pieces that need to be done, and I’ve been dragging my feet on it because it’s expensive. I’ve

[00:45:23] Susanne: oh, and that was the other thing, we did all these pieces, I think it was like 300. I

[00:45:28] Missy: made more than that for a piece

[00:45:30] Susanne: I know, I know. And so that’s the matting, that’s the glass, that’s the frame, that’s the everything and all her consultation and help that, I mean, she’s probably spent at least an hour with us going through and trying to decide and make these decisions.

So love, love, love her vintage framing studio. she also had a bunch of random like vintage clothes kind of in the yard too. So maybe you get some clothes while you’re there too. I don’t

[00:45:57] Missy: All right. That’s always good.

[00:45:58] Susanne: I celebrate all of it. Um, let’s see. And I’m listening to the Covenant of Water. I’m a little confused. I think I may have fell asleep on the Plain because we’re in a different country now, and I’m not quite sure how we

[00:46:10] Missy: You don’t know how you got there.

[00:46:12] Susanne: So I went and kind of read something online that I think clarified it. I do need to let you know, it is 31 hours. And that was like, I did not know that when I downloaded it. I was just like, Oh, people say this is good boop. And then I was like, Oh my God, it’s 31 hours. And then I was so I was freaking out.

I yelled that at my husband while I had my headphones on. And then I was like, Oh my God, it is narrated by the author, which I love for nonfiction. But for fiction. I sometimes, I’m like, no, just go ahead and let the pros do it.

[00:46:41] Missy: You gotta pro do it.

[00:46:42] Susanne: yeah, nonfiction. I love it when I actually greatly prefer that it’s read by the author.

But for this is the first time I’ve read fiction read by the author and, but it’s been okay. It’s fine. It’s fine. But just be know you’re, you’re in the, for 31 hours of, if you’re doing the audio book. Um, and then my learn is that, no duh, Seattle summers are much better than Austin summers. We just got back from our week in Seattle and Washington coast and, oh my god, we really need to get a summer house, once the kids, or even before, I don’t know.

You know, the problem is the dogs. It’s not even the kids. We could totally

[00:47:21] Missy: you’ve got to drive the dogs

[00:47:22] Susanne: yeah, what are we going to do with these dogs for the summer? So that’s the problem. Um, any. Other than that, I just, yeah, we need to get out of here for the summer. All our neighbors do. We’re just completely surrounded by empty homes for 3 months because they all go away to hang out with their kids or whatever.

[00:47:38] Missy: We won’t share your address. Empty homes.

[00:47:41] Susanne: no, actually, they do have house sitters, but they’re not the people that we can hang out with on the patio. Um, so, yeah. I’m jealous of all you Seattleites. I know come November. We’ll be happy. We live here, but oh my gosh, not right

now. But yes, what do you look listen, learn and Lauren?

[00:47:59] Lauren: Oh my goodness. Well, we are very into the show The Bear right now.

[00:48:04] Susanne: Yes.

[00:48:04] Lauren: Yes. Have you both watched it?

[00:48:06] Missy: Yes.

[00:48:07] Susanne: Okay.

[00:48:07] Lauren: Okay. Yeah.

[00:48:09] Missy: What episode are you on?

[00:48:10] Lauren: We just started season two.

[00:48:13] Missy: Okay. Okay. You’re in for a treat. It’s just so good.

[00:48:16] Lauren: I can’t wait. I can’t wait. Yeah. We have watched a lot of TV this summer home with the newborns.

[00:48:23] Missy: Yeah. You have.

[00:48:24] Lauren: spending a lot of time there. And, you know, I’m always looking for a great read, obviously, with Brain Health Book Club.

I just read this book called The Power of Fun by Catherine Price.

[00:48:34] Susanne: I

[00:48:37] Lauren: And like we’re not having that much fun lately and like, how do we get back into having fun? It was a bit of a wake up call for me of like, Ooh, I don’t have that much fun. I need to work on this.

[00:48:49] Susanne: just wrote that down. That sounds awesome.

[00:48:52] Lauren: it was good. The power of fun. So I’m coming back to that. You know, coming back from our trip at Lake Arrowhead this weekend, I’m learning like the value of family traditions, especially, every summer growing up, we would spend a week in a beach house rental.

And I want, my son to have family traditions that he looks forward to, too. It’s Such a blessing that both our parents are still alive. And so I want him to like soak up that time with grandparents and, I’m committing to that. That’s important to me.

[00:49:25] Susanne: I love

[00:49:25] Missy: I think that’s so great because it really is special time and not everybody has the privilege of having that. So yeah. Soak it up while you have it.

[00:49:34] Lauren: Exactly. Absolutely.

[00:49:35] Susanne: What about you, Missy?

[00:49:37] Missy: Um, let’s see. So I’m reading. I meant to bring it in here. But again, since I ran and plunked down in my chair, I did not grab the book on my way. But I am reading. There’s No Coming Back From This by Ann Garvin. And Ann was a guest. I

[00:49:50] Susanne: Three

[00:49:50] Missy: been a while now. Yeah, it’s a while now that we’ve had our little break in between.

But, It’s really fun. Very fun. it’s about a woman who takes a job in California on, like in Hollywood, making costumes for a movie. And she has no costuming experience and she’s actually making costumes for animals. Not, it’s not even people. Um, so, and there’s a little mysterious element to it, and there’s a little bit of romance and there’s high stakes because she has to make this work and it is a lot of fun.

I just got back from the beach and I read it on the beach as much as I could. I was with a bunch of girls and women, you know, there’s not a lot of time to read, but there’s a lot of talking. But, um. I highly recommend that book. And then yesterday, speaking of anxiety, I watched After the Bite on HBO Max, or I guess it’s just Max now.

and it’s all about, the increase of sharks off of Cape Cod. And then they’re talking about, is this environmental? Is this because of humans? Is it because we’ve overfished? Is it because we’re overprotecting the seals? And there’s conflicting groups. Everyone has their own opinion. There are people that it’s not until the end.

I’m not really giving a spoiler, but there are people who are like, There’s a lot going on here. The water is hot. We cannot ignore the fact the water is hot and it is changing things So it was very emotional. I thought I don’t know. I thought I was in for like a shark week esque Documentary I should have known it would be slightly better than your typical shark week thing But it was much deeper much more thoughtful and at times really hard to watch so I don’t know if I’m recommending it or not, but It’s really, really made me think, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

So, uh, and if you love Cape Cod, like I do, it’s also like, it’s important to understand what’s going on there.

[00:51:43] Susanne: Yeah, I mean, I read some articles last week about, like, the hot tub temperatures and Florida waters, and yeah,

[00:51:51] Missy: off the coast of Southern Florida.

[00:51:53] Susanne: that’s,

[00:51:53] Missy: in a hot tub, ideal temp is

[00:51:56] Susanne: oh my god, yeah,

[00:51:59] Missy: 102. So just crazy scary. So, um, yeah, watch it or not. I’m not sure if I’m recommending it. It was fascinating though. and my learn is I’m teaching myself some Photoshop. I. I’ve used it off and on through the years, but I needed to do something to a graphic image. And I was like, I can either find someone and pay them, or I can watch tutorials and figure this out.

And, um, I did it. There was some cussing and a lot of sweating, but I did it. And so, and I enjoyed it. I realized as I was doing it, like, yeah, it was stressful because I wanted to get it done and do it right. but it was also kind of fun. So I’m doing. A little bit here and there, like I’m in no rush, but doing some tutorials.

So if anybody also wants to learn Photoshop, I can point you to some people I’ve found on YouTube that are very good at like, do this now, do this like very, like it is step by step. And, and they’re not like, go find the whatever tool they’re like, find the tool. It’s over here. And it looks like this. And this is what I’m like, okay, thank you.

[00:53:00] Susanne: Those are my people!

Show

[00:53:02] Missy: my

[00:53:02] Susanne: the button to press!

[00:53:04] Missy: Yes, and I’m like, I’ve gotten good at rewinding YouTube. I’m like, tell me again, tell me that one more time what I’m going to do.

[00:53:11] Susanne: Play it at 5 speed, I love it. Wait! Wait!

[00:53:14] Missy: like, oh, then I’m like playing it, you know, to the side while I’m trying to do it on my end.

[00:53:19] Susanne: Now,

[00:53:19] Missy: but it is fun.

[00:53:20] Susanne: is there a free version of Photoshop, or do you already have Photoshop?

[00:53:23] Missy: there’s a new free, they have a thing that’s kind of like Canva now.

Um. But I went ahead and did the, like, entry level, bought Photoshop that came with several things, because I think I am going to start playing some more with that, because I enjoy it. And so it’s a skill I can add to my resume.

Who knows where it will go? But I didn’t really realize how much I enjoyed it. And I thought, well, if I had fun, even in the midst of sweating and crying, like, maybe there’s something to that.

[00:53:52] Susanne: You can sit in the discomfort, see? That’s where

[00:53:54] Missy: did sit in the discomfort. That’s true. That’s true.

[00:53:58] Susanne: You did it. Oh my gosh. All right. Well, we have looked, listened, learned some good stuff. I’m going to, the power of fun. And who was our guest? Oh, the real simple editor,

[00:54:10] Missy: Oh, Van Ogtrop,

[00:54:12] Susanne: Christian van Agtrop,

[00:54:13] Missy: Van Ogtrop.

[00:54:14] Susanne: um, who is not actually the real simple editor anymore, that was the previous, but, uh, we had her on. Yeah, we had her on for her book. Gosh, do I have it here? Yeah. Okay. So Christian van, I dropped the author of did I say that out loud?

She was a previous guest, but remember she mentioned that they were doing like a values assessment as a group. I think it was a bunch of. It’s either in some type of coaching thing or part

[00:54:39] Missy: It was a professional

[00:54:40] Susanne: like a company retreat type of thing. And everybody had like achievement and, you know, all these big words.

And she was just like, fun, like, like, is that okay to say? Like she was the only person who had included fun on her list. And so I do think that we, we forget about it sometimes. So the

[00:54:59] Missy: You do. And you’re right. We haven’t had a lot in the last few years.

[00:55:02] Susanne: Yeah, that’s

[00:55:03] Lauren: that

[00:55:04] Missy: Yeah.

[00:55:04] Lauren: playfulness.

[00:55:05] Missy: Yes.

I think it’s Bernie. Bernie Brown. Yeah. It’s Bernie. Brown says the opposite of work is not rest. The opposite of work is play and fun.

[00:55:14] Susanne: And you,

[00:55:15] Missy: is how we restore ourselves. And yeah, I mean, obviously we need to rest as well. I’m a huge proponent of rest, but we need to incorporate just fun.

Just have some freaking fun.

[00:55:25] Susanne: yeah. And part of that though, the fun, like we were talking about is getting rid of the idea of like, well, what if this, what if this? And part of that is addressing our anxiety and helping, Whatever generation you’re in, you are generation anxiety. I know this book is. I’ve got Millennials and Gen Z’s, but I think we can all relate to the lessons in it.

So, uh, highly recommend, uh, being able to get more fun in your life by replacing some of the anxiety and the anxiety causing behaviors that you have. So.

Thank you

[00:55:55] Missy: thank you for

being here. Especially being here with a baby in the next room. It’s impressive.

[00:56:01] Lauren: think we made it.

[00:56:02] Missy: You

[00:56:02] Susanne: You did.

[00:56:04] Lauren: Oh, I think he napped through and my cat was quiet. So got a Siamese too. So that’s a win as well. So,

[00:56:13] Susanne: I am shocked we did not see any cat butt during this interview because that’s usually what happens.

[00:56:19] Lauren: but I know

[00:56:20] Missy: know.

[00:56:20] Lauren: my little like Yogi cat up here, but the Siamese Mochi is sleeping off to the side right now. He chilled out too.

[00:56:27] Susanne: Oh, awesome. Well,

good. High five to all the kitties and babies who are cooperating so that moms can get stuff done today.

[00:56:35] Missy: That’s

right.

[00:56:37] Susanne: Speaking of which, I got to go find some of my kiddos there.

[00:56:40] Missy: Yep.

[00:56:41] Susanne: My daughter has had her license forever and has never had a successful filling up her car with gas trip. I mean, to the point where one time it just started like flooding out of the side of the car.

It like, it didn’t turn off automatically or just things are broken. And we keep on saying, okay, I’m going to go with you one more time. until you have like this good experience. It’s and. It has not happened yet. So I gotta do one more so she can go to a movie. She’s going to college next week. She’s got to be able to get her own gas.

[00:57:12] Missy: Yes, she does.

[00:57:14] Susanne: So we are going to sit in the discomfort of trying to get gas in that car. So wish us luck. Thank you so much for joining us. It was so nice meeting you. And thank you for

the

[00:57:25] Missy: rest of your day. Yes. And thank you for the book. It’s fantastic.

[00:57:28] Susanne: Yes,

[00:57:29] Lauren: so much. Thanks Susanna. Missy. Good to be with both of you.

[00:57:31] Susanne: you too. Have a good week.

Bye.

bye.

com with the A N D spelled out in between shows, find us over at the socials, including our private mom and community Facebook group, the links to that group. And all of our socials can be found at momandpodcast. com. Thank you so much for your support. We appreciate you more than, you know, now go out there and make your ellipses count.

The post Generation Anxiety – Gaining Control in Uncertain Times appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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Listen, Subscribe and Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Summary In this episode, Susanne & Missy sit down with Keely Pierce to discuss the challenges of finding balance in parenthood and navigating the journey of matrescence. They explore various aspects of this transformative phase, including identity, relationships, body changes, and emotional well-being. Due to Missy’s...

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July 27, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 129 / No Guest Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Vacation, all I ever wanted. Vacation, had to get away. ← Sing it with us! We are so lucky to do what we do, and still pinch ourselves every week when we interview...

The post You Deserve a Break – And a Free Mug! appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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July 20, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 128 / Guest: Briar Dougherty, Part II Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Briar Dougherty is back! This time is all about interviews. Briar covers trends in interviewing, including tips for answering one of our most dreaded interview moments: Tell me about yourself....

The post Interview Tips to Build Confidence & Get That Job! appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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July 13, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 127 / Guest: Shannon Lee Simmons Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: A life coach and a financial expert walk into a bar… uh, a podcast. But wait! They’re the same person! Shannon Lee Simmons is the founder of The New School of...

The post No Regret Decisions: Making Good Choices During Difficult Times appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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July 6, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 126 / Guest: Estelle Erasmus Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: This week’s guest, Estelle Erasmus, has a career journey that started with being an executive assistant, and pivoted to roles in book publishing, public relations, women’s magazines, medical education publications, before she...

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June 29, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 125 / Guest: Briar Dougherty Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Our guest this week, Briar Dougherty (pronounced Dock-er-tee), started her career in the fitness industry, where she quickly became Crunch Fitness’s youngest general manager in history. If you think that’s impressive, just...

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June 22, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 124 / Guest: Ann Garvin Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: #womenhelpingwomen is one of Mom &… Podcast’s Favorite Things (and it costs less than anything on Oprah’s Favorite Things list). Our guest this week embodies that helping spirit. Ann Garvin is a...

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June 15, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 123 / Guest: Jean Stehle Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: This week we are talking about entrepreneurship and books, two of our favorite things. Our guest, Jean Stehle, is a librarian, a writer, and a business owner. During the pandemic she developed...

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June 8, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 122 / Guest: Dara Astmann Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: The Venn diagram of things we love to talk about and what Dara Astmann’s coaching focuses on is a circle. Dara helps moms explore what’s next, and that is our favorite thing...

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May 25, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 121 / Guest: Whitney MyersSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:Our guest this week is a mom who pivoted into a career that suits her skill-set and personality perfectly. Whitney Myers, owner and founder of Sacred Stories, spent many years working in roles that had one thing in common: they were all relational. These days, she has the coolest job, helping people tell their stories and making mini-documentaries for families. We got to talk about being better listeners, and better conversation starters, as well as how to go about turning a passion into a business.

Topics From This Episode:* Asking people about themselves * Conversation starters * Click here for Whitney’s convo starters * Click here some Summer Specific starters from Whitney * Check out our episode with Kat Vellos for more about starting conversations * Being a better listener * Listening skills * Relational work * Leadership * Ways to engage kids in sharing, talking * Storytelling * Volunteerism * Making connections with people * Starting a business

Look, Listen, LearnsMissy

Saint X on Hulu
Ejaculate Responsibly by Gabrielle Blair (aka Design Mom – follow her instagram!)
Taking some time to clean out, clean up, and refresh before school gets out

Whitney

Somebody Somewhere on HBOMax (now just Max)
The fabulous Jeff Hiller
Wiser Thane Me
Hard-boiled eggs in the air fryer

Susanne

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
Soundtrack to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
From Julie Lythcott-Haims’s book, Your Turn: Don’t tell your kids to be happy. Tell them to be themselves, whoever they are, in this moment. (Listen to our episode with Julie, here!)

More About Whitney Myers:Whitney is a mom and… owner and founder of Sacred Stories, an Austin, TX-based company specializing in video biographies. Sacred Stories uses interviews, photographs, and more to create mini-documentaries for families. She has her graduate certificate from the University of Connecticut in Life Story Practice and Research, and is a member of the International Center for Life Story Innovations and Practice (ICLIP). Whitney also enjoys speaking with groups about the art and science of reminiscence, different methods for sharing your story, and the important work of listening.

Connect with Whitney Myers:* Website – sacredstoriesfilms.com * FB – facebook.com/sacredstoriesfilms * IG – instagram.com/sacredstoriesfilms * LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/whitney-myers1/ * Newsletter – eepurl.com/hMnMPr * Behind the Scenes Video – facebook.com/watch/?v=467235578632951

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Conversation Starters, Storytelling & Listening Skills appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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May 11, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 120 / Guest: Nicole Gonzalez-CumberbatchSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:Nicole shared a story that many parents relate to: her career was everything, and then she became a mom. Parenting changes our lives in ways we usually can’t imagine beforehand. Nicole realized she lacked proper support, and even basic information, to help manage life as a working parent. She decided to create what she needed, and The Motherhood Village was born.

Topics From This Episode:* Working parents * Flexible work schedule * Employer support * Employee advocacy * Marriage * Covid * FMLA (family leave) * Support groups * Parenting resources * Maternity leave practices * Breastfeeding * Mamava Lactation Pods * Parental mental health * Release, Reset, Recharge

Look, Listen, LearnsSusanne

Wheel of Fortune
Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus
Mom2.0, ChatGPT, SEO, oh my!
Massage chairs at the JW Marriott Camelback Inn Resort & Spa in Scottsdale, AZ

Nicole

Firefly Lane
Also Lessons in Chemistry
Mom2.0 attendee podcasts
Learning from the speakers at Mom2.0, like Austin Channing Brown and the Locke sisters, Attica and Tembi (From Scratch)

Missy

A Million Little Things
Iona Iverson’s Rules for Commuting by Clare Pooley
Mom2.0 session on Substacks (shout out Asha Dornfest)

More About Nicole Gonzalez-Cumberbatch:Nicole is a mom and… former VP of Finance and HR, business owner, and podcaster. She believes it takes a village to uplift a mother and is essential to a mother’s mental health and well-being. Nicole founded The Motherhood Village in 2021 and her mission is to support mothers through community, education and connection.

Connect with Nicole Gonzalez-Cumberbatch:* TheMotherhoodVillage.com * Podcast * Instagram * Facebook * LinkedIn

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

[00:00:00] Missy: Welcome to the mom and dot.dot podcast. I’m Missy Stevens mom and dot.dot writer, foster child advocate, and this week birthday party planner slash maybe rescheduler.

[00:00:16] Susanne: Oh no.

[00:00:16] Missy: is crazy.

[00:00:18] Susanne: Yeah, our mother did I tell you, I got a text when we were at Mom too, from my mom said, I hope my Mother’s Day brunch isn’t planned outside because the weather looks bad. Like I

[00:00:27] Nicole: Just fyi.

[00:00:28] Susanne: I know. And I was like, well, it is.

[00:00:30] Missy: It is.

[00:00:32] Susanne: only that, it’s at our favorite restaurant, which has the most phenomenal food, but when you sit outside, it’s like a tent in the parking lot.

And so even on a good day, it’s not very pretty. So yeah, we might be getting takeout. We’ll see. And I am Suzanne Kern’s mom and dot.dot writer, LGBTQ and sex ed advocate. And this week I am a mom, two oh Summit Recoverer. If you could see behind me, and I think we may do a TikTok of it later, the reality of what is behind the camera.

When we do this podcast,

[00:01:00] Missy: It’s not good today.

[00:01:02] Susanne: it’s not good and it’s worse than usual.

[00:01:05] Missy: Not good today. Well, our guest today is also a Mom 2.0. Recoverer. It is Nicole Gonzalez Cumberbatch. Whom we met completely by chance. We already had this interview scheduled, but we were at Mom 2.0 in Scottsdale, Arizona, and out of the corner of my eye, her name tag caught my eye and I was like, I think, I think that name is really familiar.

So then we disrupted an entire keynote session by passing a note back and forth, written on a napkin. that is how we met in real life prior to this. Nicole is a mom and dot, dot dot former VP of finance and HR business owner and podcaster, and she believes it takes a village to uplift a mother, and it is essential to a mother’s mental health and wellbeing.

Nicole founded the Motherhood Village in 2021 and her mission is to support mothers through community education and connection. We love it. Welcome.

[00:01:58] Nicole: Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited to dive into this. Love it, love it, love it.

[00:02:03] Susanne: Oh, well, we’re so excited to have you here and learned a little bit about you in your bio, but can you give, um, a little more in depth Nicole 1 0 1 about where your career started, any big decisions or pivots that have led you to where you are today?

[00:02:16] Nicole: Yeah, I mean, my background is in corporate, kind of crazy. I actually worked at a bank when I was 16. I don’t know if they had in, in the states where you guys live, but in Florida we had something called like a co-op where you could leave work early when you’re in like 11th or 12th grade to go work.

so when that opportunity came, I was like, wait a minute. I can leave school early to go make money. Absolutely. Um, so I did that and first I was working at a grocery store and eventually got recruited to work at a bank At 16. They thought I was older and, um, I was able to work. So I worked there, I think half of my junior year into my senior year.

And I, I say all that because that kind of really was the beginning of me starting to work at 16. And then my career just kind of took off, started, uh, college when I graduated. But college kind of, I went part-time for 10 years before I got my degree cuz I always worked and as I was going to school, I was building my, career basically, and started as an accounting assistant and I’m like, oh, I think I like accounting work.

And changed my major until finally I graduated with a degree in managerial accounting and had worked my way up from counting assistant coordinator controller to VP of finance and hr. I worked at an email marketing company where I kind of really grew in that role. and I loved it. I mean, my identity was based on my career.

I had always said, as a child, I wanted to have a C F O or c e o title, in my name. I don’t know why. I just thought it was the coolest thing to work in

[00:03:42] Susanne: That’s so cute.

[00:03:43] Nicole: Um, and I almost right, VP kind of, kind of close. So my career was everything. And then my son came. And just rocked my world, for all the things right, as they do.

So that was, my son is five, so got pregnant, 20, got married 2016, had him 2017. So it’s very fast. he came and I suffered all these things. I never thought postpartum anxiety and I had no clue how to navigate life, as a corporate mom. And I thought I would because I figured, well, I’ve managed people, I’ve managed teams, I’ve worked under pressure.

I got this. I’m organ all the things and I didn’t, so. To say all that. To say I pivoted in 2021 and completely left corporate to start my own business just because I never found, truthfully, it’s sad in a way. After my son was born, I had to leave. The employer I worked for at the time, cuz they weren’t supporting me, didn’t, I didn’t know how to ask for help.

There was no flexibility. I wasn’t ready to go back to work after my son was born. And I really went from job to job, which I had never done in my life before that time cuz I always stayed at companies for long periods. And then all of a sudden I’m like, wait a minute, I, I, I’m not happy. I don’t know, like, it’s just a lot of like questioning a lot of

[00:05:01] Missy: Yeah.

[00:05:01] Nicole: where do I fit? What do I do? And then, um, yeah, 2021 I left and I told my husband, listen, I’ve been at this for a very long time and I think I’m gonna support, companies with the background that I have in accounting and, and HR and operations. So I left to start my own company and I still have that I support.

Small companies and businesses and doing like backend accounting and all that. and then the motherhood village. So that kind of came, I guess I’ll say that in high level. during the time of my struggle of postpartum anxiety and overwhelm. I started a podcast in 2019 and I just had something to say.

Something to say. It was my outlet. I wanted to talk to other mothers. I wanted to talk about the honesty of how we don’t hear that your relationship with your partner was gonna change at the time. Like my husband and I thought we did all the right things. We dated all the right things beforehand, and then.

I couldn’t stand him. At some points. I remember going to my mom and I’m like, is this normal? Like I can’t freaking stand him. And I’m like, why aren’t we having these conversations? Like I remember getting scared without realizing that it really wasn’t us. It was my needs weren’t being met. I didn’t have, I wasn’t asking for help.

I was overwhelmed. It wasn’t necessarily him. So that whole steam rolled into me saying, I wanna have conversations. So the podcast started in 20 19, 20 21 when I left corporate to start my. Consulting business. I also started the motherhood village and that has just steamrolled. Um, I do support groups for moms now for career moms in the evening.

I do webinars, workshops, a lot of community led events. And now we’re here 2023. I know that was kind of a lot, but it

kind of

[00:06:38] Missy: a lot, but we’re gonna break it down

[00:06:40] Susanne: yeah, we will break it down. And I’m curious, uh, what was your work like during Covid then? when you break that apart,

[00:06:48] Nicole: Sure. So, I’m glad you asked that. So the company I had worked for, again, you gotta remember at this time, I’m like unsure, right? I’m like, listen, my whole career has been wrapped up in me having a title and working my butt off for it. And now I kind of don’t care. But do I, we’re talking about money, but I’m like, you know what?

Um, all these things questioning a lot. So the company I had worked for, um, they kind of dangled a carrot where I was gonna be a controller. And I was like, all right, Take a step back, but, it was for a really big company at the time, um, locally and long story short, COVID hit and the employer told me when I asked for flexibility cuz my son’s daycare closed, she literally said, so you’re choosing your family over my company.

[00:07:29] Susanne: Oh boy.

[00:07:32] Nicole: That was literally, I think, I don’t know, whenever the mandate hit, maybe the 20th. My son’s school had closed a few days before. It was like literally that Monday or Tuesday. And I tell you all that cuz that was the mindframe. My son was two and a half years old. I’m like, lady yes. I’m like, we’re in the middle.

We have no idea what this is about. Um,

[00:07:51] Missy: no.

[00:07:52] Nicole: So Florida, thankfully had this thing called F M L A where you could take time off if you had to care for someone who had covid or your child’s school closed for Covid. So because I knew that, I said, you know what, I was gonna stay on and help, but since you wanna do that, I’m taking my femla.

So I took my femla and I got paid to stay home because my son’s school closed for the three months, and then the minute the mandate was, Uplifted. I basically got laid off, which I knew that that was gonna happen. I would’ve quit anyway. Um, but I was very thankful because it was bittersweet. I got to take what, whatever that was March to June 1st, I think, as his school opened, and I got to really have that time with him.

But, um, It was still disheartening and hurtful, right? Like, I’m like, wow. Like here we are. And it was a woman who owned the company, so I was so disappointed. So, yeah, so my, my Covid experience, I, I very fortunately got to stay home with him during that time.

[00:08:45] Susanne: That’s so interesting cuz that’s a boundary we hear from a lot of coaches where they say in any scenario, not just Covid, where people work as if. They are the owner of the company. And I feel like that is something that I did very badly. And I realize that now, back in hindsight, like I did every single status report or presentation as if it was my company, which, you know, is a boundary that all the coaches say, no, no, don’t do that.

Where this boss came out and basically just said, yeah, you, you need to treat this as this as your company

[00:09:19] Nicole: just like that. She was like, so basically you’re choosing your family over my company, and I remember just saying they’re like, Like, is this like twilights on um,

[00:09:26] Missy: a real question you’re

[00:09:27] Nicole: And is that allowed? Like do I call, like who do I call? Like what? Um, ethically, like all the things. Um, so yeah, so that’s kind of been my, my career journey since having my child.

And it’s been very sad because, I haven’t had the support since having him with. Any employer to say, we welcome you, like, let’s find things. So I’m a big employee advocate and I do foresee in the future, me doing something with corporations to help those small businesses really understand what they need to provide their employees once they have children.

[00:09:59] Missy: what kinds of resources does the Motherhood Village have now? Because I know employee advocacy is a big piece of what you’re doing. Like what are you seeing are the huge challenges that you’re able to help women with at this point?

[00:10:12] Nicole: Yeah, that’s a great question. tangible, I guess you can say what the Motherhood Village does. Like I said, the support groups and a lot of that does help because there’s a lot of working mothers actually, I think they’re all working mothers, whether, um, They’re working full-time in their career, but also have a side business, or they’re women business owners.

so a lot of conversations come up with that. And I guess because I do have the. experience of number one, being in their shoes and being like, I have no idea where to go. But number two, I have the accounting background to really help them understand the data that they can bring to their employers to say, Hey, look, you know, it doesn’t really cost a lot of money, but there’s certain things that you can do to kind of help me or the other employees, um, and how to advocate for themselves.

So I help in that way at the support groups. I also try and partner with some of the experts I have on my podcast, or whoever I collaborate with that I find, um, you know, in my own entrepreneurial journey to do webinars and workshops for moms. so Tangly, like I said, the Motherhood Village provides resources in that way.

But as far as employee specific, that is something I wanna have a goal to do in the foreseeable future. Like actually have workshops myself that I put together to go into these small businesses. I think it’s important to start at the beginning with small businesses because as I’m sure we both, we all.

A test, whether it’s our podcast or whatever things we have that we’re trying to grow, it’s easy to get caught up in that we don’t follow the processes that we put in order, we don’t do all the things. So I really wanna help business owners at the beginning stages of saying, well, let’s start putting these processes in place.

Now let’s not overcomplicate it. So as you start to bring employees in, we can manage it, affordably, but employees will then want to work for you, which will help sustain the growth of your company. Right? So that’s what I hope to do in, in the future.

[00:11:56] Susanne: What an awesome resource because yeah, there’s a lot of small businesses. Oh, did I tell you Once upon the time I had a blog called Not So Secret Shopper, where I wanted to go in just to these small businesses, because I come from a marketing advertising background and it was little things, but just like Start your Facebook page for your business or, you know, do, if you’re a restaurant, just, you know, it’s fine. You don’t wanna do this fancy, fancy thing, but just at least have your menu up on a webpage with a phone number or something. But, but basically be the secret shopper to go into these stores. And then I would do a little write up about like, here’s one thing you could do today to, you know, to take your business to the next step.

Or, you know, just to give a little bit of movement. I just think it’s such an amazing service for these small businesses because,

They don’t necessarily have that know-how or the resources. And sometimes just that little nudge in the right direction,

[00:12:50] Nicole: Or they don’t know that they need it, right? The ignorance, we just, ignorance is blis. So sometimes we just need someone to say, Hey, you’re gonna have employees. Have you thought about what that looks like for them? Because I truly believe our workforce is, is everything. I, I a hundred percent believe that.

And, you know, it tops customer service and everything, because if you take care of your employees, they will automatically have the good customer service. You know, they’ll, they’ll treat it as you said, Suzanne, as if it’s their own company. Right. They’ll, they’ll put their heart, they’ll put their soul, put all the things.

So, um, that’s another thing I’m passionate about, but right now it’s really helping moms with the motherhood village. But I think it’s something that it’s all connected, right? Because it all started because I was a working mother that didn’t have the resources that I needed at the time.

[00:13:33] Susanne: Yeah. And well, speaking of blending your love for helping mothers and then also helping these businesses is, helping them think about maternity leave and also, motherhood village supporting moms who are hoping to go back to work, but, you know, taking some time for this maternity leave. So what does that support look like?

What are you hearing from group members about what their ideal. You know, leave period is like back when we left, it was you got your three months I think I was really lucky I got four months, but

[00:14:02] Missy: you are lucky.

[00:14:03] Susanne: Yeah. But you know, author of the fifth trimester would argue that, you know, you need six months.

So, yeah. What is, what is that looking like these days?

[00:14:11] Nicole: A hundred percent. I agree. I think most women are saying six months. A lot of, um, the support groups I have, not only are they working mothers, but a lot of them are. they were either pregnant and now they’re coming with their newborns to the groups, which have been awesome to see. but yeah, they’re like, I have to go back to work.

I’m scared. I’m nervous, I’m overwhelmed. or they have had time to spend with their little ones, let’s say the first, second year, and now they’re like, I have to look at preschools. Where am I gonna send my kid? Think of what’s going on in the world. are they gonna be safe? I’m overwhelmed.

So a lot of, a lot of it is fear. A lot of it is overwhelm, a lot of it is sadness, and the need for support and absolutely. We have talked that I think a good timeframe is that six months to even a year, I think Canada gives a year. Um, and I think it’s a program you can even opt in, which in my mind I’m like, what mother would not wanna opt in?

But, but you know what? Anyone listening, maybe I know for me, there was a time where I was like, I needed to go back to work, right? Like that

[00:15:11] Susanne: I hear that a lot.

[00:15:12] Missy: Mm-hmm.

[00:15:13] Nicole: But at least the option is there. So yes, six months to a year has come up, but as far as how they’re feeling, it’s the sadness, it’s the fear, the unknown, the uncertainty.

How are they gonna be able to navigate it once they do go back to work. and then the school aspect, making sure they’re making the right decision. What, what’s a good school, what’s not a good school? You know, the safety issue. There’s just so much that I think a lot of parents this day and age have to deal with.

And as many resources as they can have, the better,

[00:15:43] Susanne: Yeah. And what are

[00:15:44] Missy: the support groups, oh,

[00:15:46] Susanne: I’m so into this. Okay, go

[00:15:47] Nicole: uh,

[00:15:48] Missy: I know. Well, the support groups, do they meet virtually in person? Do they have the option to do both? Are they calling and texting each other in the middle of the night? Like how is it set up? How does

[00:15:59] Nicole: I love that. So it is in person it’s in person and in the evening, very strategically cur curated that way cuz again, corporate mom couldn’t make the mommy meetups, couldn’t make any of the support groups during the day, which in hindsight maybe I could have, but I never asked because I was afraid.

Right? The same thing. I wanted to work first one and last one out, but then I have to make up the time, but I wanna go back to home to my son. All the things. So I always had said if I did a group, I’d want to make sure it was in the evening so that, Working moms could go. and we do meet in person. I have thought about doing it virtually or doing maybe a virtual option just because I’ve had moms reach out from other cities and like my husband and I talk, he’s like, what?

Are you gonna have a support group like every night? Like, what are you gonna be traveling? Like, you know? And I’m like, no, I know I can’t, I can’t support all the moms. so I’m, I’m working on some things of how to, like, let’s say Get someone from an hour away that a, a mom reached out to me and she was like, Hey, I need support.

but I’m in Palm Beach, which is about an hour away from me, right? So to get something like that, I’m like, ah, I wanna be like, absolutely. But then I have to think about my own boundaries and what my capacity is. So, thoughts are there, but to answer your question, yes, it’s in the evening and it’s in person, and then we have a private, Facebook group where moms can connect.

So if you have been to a support group, you automatically get in. I didn’t wanna just open it up to anybody. It’s the moms who, like, we’ve already shared and we’re, we have open and safe conversations. so then they meet there and it’s cool. They’re like, Hey, I need this, or, Hey, I have extra diapers, or, Hey, does someone have this?

And then that’s where they can kind of share and come together,

[00:17:27] Missy: That’s really

[00:17:28] Susanne: Uh, yeah. I wish everybody could have it everywhere. I’ve gotta think that there are similar groups in a lot of different cities. Probably bigger cities. I think that’ll be a good thing to ask our group as well our private Facebook group, what they have in their community, in case some moms, you know, don’t know that it’s available.

Cuz that’s the other thing, when you’re so buried with a newborn and are already overwhelmed, it’s hard to do that research. So we’ll try to pull some of those for people

[00:17:52] Nicole: and that’s a good point, right? I think. We’re actually inundated with too much research that we’re like, wait, okay wait. There’s this and this. Tell me where I need to go and what I need to do. Like that’s what I, I need right now. So I love that you said that cuz I think, yeah, sometimes moms just need kind of their handheld to say, I’m gonna come here and this is what you have for you for available.

[00:18:10] Susanne: exactly. And for the, in those group meetings themselves, what are you hearing then when they do go back to work are some of the biggest challenges? I was just telling Missy, I think what did me in, when I went back my, after my maternity leave, my husband did three mur months of paternity leave so I could go back to work and see.

How that felt. Um, and the hardest part was the client that I was working for my office where I was based out of, had this really nice mother’s room, you know, with a little refrigerator and this comfy sofa and everything. But when I was on site at my client’s office, which was very often, I would have to pump in a bathroom where there was no even power cord.

And then throughout the

[00:18:56] Missy: It’s so gross, right? Pumping in the bathroom is the

[00:18:58] Nicole: disgusting. I know.

[00:19:00] Susanne: pumpings. Yeah. So that part’s gross, but then the rest of the day I have to carry around this refrigerator pack

[00:19:05] Nicole: Mm-hmm.

[00:19:05] Susanne: full of everything that’s come out of me. And then, so between that and

[00:19:10] Missy: Sit down for this meeting with my boob juice.

[00:19:13] Susanne: oh my gosh. And it was, it was kind of ridiculous.

So, I mean, there was talk about the weight of motherhood. This was literally the

[00:19:19] Nicole: Yes. Yes. Yes.

[00:19:21] Susanne: But it was also like, how are people perceiving me? I just, I. didn’t feel professional. And um, and I really feel like that’s kind of one of the things that did me in like, this can’t be the next six months of my life.

And I know you can, I mean, you can definitely move to a formula but it was

[00:19:40] Missy: There’s options,

[00:19:41] Susanne: yeah, that’s just where my mind was at that time. Just like, this is what my day is gonna be like every day. And it was tough. So is that still an issue or more offices accommodating moms, or is that still the regular day to day?

[00:19:54] Nicole: Well, just to, to just piggyback just slightly on that point, I think, yeah, there’s options, but I think parents need the support because if you do choose to breastfeed, it shouldn’t be that hard. I remember having to go, I worked at f a U at the time and they were great, to work for, they, they really were, During that transition when I was like, okay, where am I gonna go?

And that actually was my alma mater and I worked in the accounting department of the, sports athletics department. Anyway, I had to go three times during the day to my supervisor’s office, knock on the door so I can bump. Um, you wanna talk about embarrassed? Cause I know she had to be like, sure.

And I can see her being like, cheese Louise. Like, really? I’m like,

[00:20:28] Missy: outta my

[00:20:29] Nicole: sorry. Um, so, but to, to the point is like, yeah, I think. The resources are there so that moms can then, if you wanna breastfeed, breastfeed, pump, pump, if you want formula, do it. But let us have the resources there. Right? So that’s just that.

But yes, so it’s still going on. Parents are still asking for the resources. I do think, again, some of these think millennial moms, we’re having more of these conversations. I see it on LinkedIn. There’s companies like, Mamava, I don’t know if you’ve heard, they do the breastfeeding pods.

[00:20:58] Susanne: Oh, we just saw that at the airport when we were

in Phoenix. Yeah.

[00:21:02] Nicole: I know Sasha, who’s one of the co-founders, she was a guest on my podcast. I’d love to connect

[00:21:06] Susanne: Oh, I would

[00:21:07] Nicole: them. Maybe she could be a guest. Um, because their thought process behind it, and I’m like, this is not a paid, like, endorsement or anything, but I just love what they’re doing cuz I, I, you see the pods everywhere and it’s not just for airports.

They started there. but they want to go for Offices and museums, any place where a mom can go and not just to breastfeed, but to feed their child, like you said, not in a freaking bathroom. Um, so there are resources and things that are being developed, but I think the smaller private companies are where, again, we need to hit.

Because if you’re a larger company, Company, you have the monies to, let’s say, get a pod like Mava and I don’t know what they cost to, let’s say in store or implement. but if you’re a small company just starting out or you have five to 10 employees, you’re small businesses, I think that’s where we really need to have more of these discussions.

so a lot of the moms Yes. That don’t have that support, similar, to me and the other companies I worked for. so yeah, the same kind of conversations. It’s, you know, to pump, God forbid you forget an item, right? That had happened to me. I remember having to call my husband and said, I forgot the, I think the flange it’s called, or whatever the

[00:22:11] Susanne: Oh no.

[00:22:12] Nicole: it. Um, and then you’re devastated, right? And then if they don’t come in time, and then like, my boobs are so swollen. these are conversations we don’t have, but for the moms listening, like, it’s normal if you’re a new mom. So there were things I had to do, right? Make a checklist.

So we talk about these in the groups. Try and make a checklist for yourself because it can be overwhelming, because you’re scattered and maybe you only had two hours of sleep the night before, and then you gotta pack your bag. So we talk a lot, unfortunately, about the things we have to do in preparation because still the support isn’t always there.

Um, so I guess to summarize it, Seeing the support in the larger corporations, seeing it on LinkedIn, seeing it with some companies coming out. I know there’s a lot, there’s apparently, I think there’s a lot of companies that are very for working parents. Those are the ones that I think more than anything that, impact the employees the most.

[00:23:01] Susanne: Yeah, you talking about the missing part, which I’m just picturing, there’s a little like little white

[00:23:05] Nicole: Oh, I remember that.

[00:23:06] Susanne: thing that like without that

[00:23:08] Missy: Without that, it doesn’t work,

[00:23:10] Susanne: cent piece of plastic, but then I just had a flashback. I had a hand pump.

[00:23:15] Missy: Yes.

[00:23:16] Susanne: Like,

[00:23:16] Nicole: Oh, I remember the hand pump.

[00:23:17] Susanne: oh.

[00:23:18] Missy: Oh my God.

[00:23:19] Susanne: it’s almost like the nozzle that you water the grass

[00:23:22] Missy: yep.

[00:23:23] Susanne: bottle.

So yeah, that was my emergency backup. Yeah, that’s the other

thing. You have to have a backup for your backup.

[00:23:29] Nicole: Backup

[00:23:29] Missy: I will never forget that feeling of like, you have to do this and. You’ve gotta get it done. And this is just life right now, but the just immense like stress and there’s shame attached to it that should not be attached to it.

We have, you know, I think we’ve come a long way, but we have a long way to go in normalizing the fact that this is how we feed our children. And I can remember having that hand pump and just being mad, like pumping and like nothing’s coming and

[00:23:53] Susanne: Well,

and especially if you have to leave a meeting, I mean, just the, and yeah. Getting away from

[00:24:00] Nicole: What about leaking? What about

[00:24:02] Missy: Oh my god.

[00:24:04] Nicole: I know. And we should be able to comfortably say, like you said, to alleviate the shame. Say, you know what? I need to pump, I’ll be right back. Instead of being like, um, can I pump? It’s like, no, this is, this is,

normal.

[00:24:14] Missy: I’ve gotta go do a hit a blow. Like you’re going to do something. Is that what it, is that what it’s called? Do you

[00:24:20] Nicole: I

dunno, but to your point,

[00:24:21] Susanne: so hit,

[00:24:22] Nicole: that’s somebody. Yeah.

[00:24:25] Susanne: I’m gonna go snort the reefer. What am I

[00:24:27] Nicole: or maybe snort, I

don’t know,

whatever.

[00:24:29] Missy: it’s not what you’re going to do. You’re going to feed your child

[00:24:33] Nicole: I actually think people would be maybe even more apt to say that

[00:24:37] Susanne: Yeah.

[00:24:37] Missy: Well, I think that really leads into the mental health.

[00:24:41] Nicole: Yes. Oh, big

[00:24:42] Missy: with so much and you don’t, if you don’t have a place to talk to someone about it, you don’t know if it’s normal. You don’t know that other women are going through it. You don’t like your husband and you don’t know why, and you’re ashamed that you have to pump and whatever it is.

So how is the Motherhood Village tackling this, and are you also tackling it in your podcast?

[00:25:03] Nicole: Yes. Um, very good question. So yes and yes. So podcast, that’s actually where it started from, um, having these conversations, talking to a lot of Licensed mental health counselors, and I’m sure you ladies can attest to this, I heard Oprah say it, that she said she gained so much value and she was a host on her show cuz she was like, I know not everybody saw an episode, but I was in every episode.

So she got the value from. Every guest and I was like, I totally feel that way about my podcast. it’s been such beneficial in my parenting journey in raising my son the last, I’ve had it for almost four years. So since he’s a little around one or two, lot of licensed mental health counselors and each one having a different way.

Um, I mean, I’ve learned all the terms. Oh, there’s aware parenting, there’s conscious parenting. There’s. Peaceful parenting, you know, all the things. So yeah, so we tackle a lot of it on my show. a lot of what the Motherhood Village is based on, in, in totality through the community education and connection is for the mental health and wellness of a family.

I tell everyone, you know, moms are the nucleus, and if mom’s good, Everyone is good. If mom’s not good, we can take care of the kids. We can do all these fun stuff for the kids. But if mom is still overwhelmed, or to your point, Missy, you know, just suffering in silence and feeling isolated, then it doesn’t freaking matter, you know?

Um, so that’s really why this was created. and then, yes, and then I tackle it in my support group. So sometimes I lead the group. I think because I have had a lot of knowledge. I’m not a mental health counselor. But a lot of times, truthfully, women will say something, I’m like, ah, and it’ll take me to a podcast guest of someone that I hadn’t talked to.

So I’ll be able to say, listen, I talked to someone and they mentioned this. but I do also bring in licensed mental health counselors that are local in the community that lead the groups. I try and really foster that connection so that if moms. Don’t know the resources that are available to them. When they do come to my events, there’s either some kind of connection happen.

Either a speaker is there, a licensed mental health counselor is there. and yeah. So those are probably the two biggest ways that, that I tackle that with specifically within the motherhood village.

[00:27:03] Missy: Yeah.

[00:27:04] Susanne: we say it all the time, that we have all the answers to the problems of the universe within our past episodes, and we’re like, we just need to actually do the things they told us to do.

[00:27:14] Nicole: Well, that’s the hardest part about motherhood, right? We know how to do it, but when we’re overwhelmed, when we’re tackling all the things, then we can’t regulate ourselves. Right. All these terms that we know, but we, it’s hard to implement them all the time. Yeah.

[00:27:26] Susanne: Exactly. And what are the struggles that you’re hearing from people in your group?

[00:27:31] Nicole: I think a lot of it is letting go of the mom guilt. It’s a big one that comes up, right? Um, so a lot of moms will question or they’ll see me. I’m very, very clear on my Instagram, um, on my stories of letting moms know, look, I know it looks like I’m all over the place. I know it looks like I’m connected and I’m here and I’m there.

I’m like, but. Don’t get it twisted. My house is a mess. My laundry’s, whatever. I haven’t cleaned. I have someone that helps me clean. My husband had to do the food shopping. I have not cooked like, let’s be honest here. Right? I’m very clear with that cuz I want, I never want someone to feel less than. but a lot of it is the mom guilt.

Like, how do you do, how are you doing this and not feeling bad or how did you go to Arizona for Mom 2.0 and could get away, you know? Um, so mom guilt comes up a lot. Obviously the self-care. I do not like to use the word self-care. What I ask my guests actually on every podcast, and in various conversations is what do you do to release, what do you do to reset and what do you do to recharge?

I think when we think of it that way, we’re a little bit more intentional about the things that we’re doing as opposed to saying just self-care.

Um, so that’s a big one.

[00:28:34] Missy: We like

[00:28:34] Nicole: Um, so yeah, the mo.

[00:28:36] Missy: Say that

[00:28:36] Nicole: What do you do to release, what do you do to reset and what do you do to recharge? And that’s actually the theme of my summit this year.

So I do a summit at, towards the end of the year heading into the fourth quarter. think of it like a business conference that you would go to for companies, um, or for your corporate career. And I do something similar for moms, and it’s just a day to empower moms. But yeah, so the, really big things are the mom guilt and what, what.

To do for self-care. Like I can’t take care of myself, or I don’t have the time, or I don’t have this. A lot of it is I’m doing for everyone, but I don’t know how to do for myself. That comes up a lot. We have a lot of conversations about that.

[00:29:10] Susanne: Oh

[00:29:10] Missy: Yeah, and then it’s like a vicious cycle cuz then you do for yourself and then you feel a little guilty about doing it for yourself. So you have to like unlearn all of that and figure out how to manage it. Yeah.

[00:29:22] Susanne: And you mentioned your summit. That’s perfect timing. We were

just gonna ask you all about the upcoming summit and you know where it is. If there’s slots still available of can you tell us all about it?

[00:29:35] Nicole: I’m so excited because, I’m working with someone to help me because I, I, I’m sure, and maybe you both can attest, it’s a very mission driven company with the Motherhood Village. So I never like to promote or say things and she’s like, if you don’t talk about the summit, how do you get people to come?

I’m like, no, I know, but I just, you know. so I’m glad cuz it’s helping me kind of to speak on it. But yeah, so the first one was last year in October. It was a. Wonderful day. this year it’s in September. It’s September 30th. It’s in beautiful Pompano Beach in South Florida. It’s at the home, two suites true by Hilton, uh, with the very famous, I guess you can say in Pompano Beach Rooftop Bar.

So first half of the day, it’s beautiful. It’s overlooking the ocean. The first half of the day, I have keynote speakers, panel discussions. This year we’re actually doing a panel discussion on communication strategies. I took it from my own personal experience. I was dealing with a client and I was like, why are you having such a hard time having this conversation with them?

And I’m like, you’re gonna be 40 years old. Like, get it together. and it trickled down to like, how do I teach my son how to advocate for himself? How do I teach my son if I can’t have some of these hard conversations? So we’re gonna have a great panel discussion, with a lawyer, general manager of the Coral Square Mall and a licensed mental health counselor to tackle.

Just that communication strategies. keynote speaker, I’m gonna be interviewing, NBC six News anchor Shelly Munish. We’re gonna talk about her being a new mom and how she balances being a new mom, but also dealing in the public eye. Right? That’s a big one. We have a financial wellness workshop and then. That’s all done, which is a big one. Um, we have a lunch and, and all that. We’ll have some breakout sessions. We head to the rooftop bar for the happy hour. Well, where we will have, some vendors up there that are usually, um, owned by moms, mom owned businesses, and we have mimosas and massages. And that kind of ends the day.

And yeah, so it’s September 30th, and if you do live in South Florida, I would love to see you there. If you go to the motherhood village.com and you subscribe to my newsletter, you will get a discount code that is for any ticket. And we have, me, myself, and I ticket to go solo. We have a bestie bundle where you can get, you know, bring your girlfriend, and then we have a girl’s day out bundle for yourself.

And then of course we also have, um, vendor table opportunities if you wanted to reserve a table for your organization, for your employees, for your clients. For your family, and I think that’s it. So yeah,

[00:31:54] Susanne: That’s it. That’s

[00:31:55] Nicole: know.

[00:31:56] Susanne: That’s a lot.

[00:31:58] Nicole: Yes, yes.

[00:31:59] Susanne: Oh, that’s

[00:31:59] Missy: We keep half joking, half toying with really doing some sort of mom and summit conference and it’s so much work.

[00:32:08] Nicole: is, but if I can listen, listen, I did the first one last year in like three or four months. I don’t ever, ever, ever recommend doing that. Um, I was mentally spent, when I tell you physic, I had never felt like anything like that in my life The minute it was over. I got sick. I actually got physically sick because I was holding so much.

Um, but if you want to talk offline, if you have that idea, I have no problem sharing you some tips and strategies. It’s not, it’s hard work. It is very hard work. The minute I put the idea together, I’m like, oh my God, this is great. And then I was like, oh shit, I have to invite people. Who the heck is gonna come to this thing?

I have to actually like sit. I’m like, oh, right. Um, Which can be very overwhelming, but I’m, I’m learning the ins and outs of really how to do it. So if there’s, if you have ideas, I’d be more than happy to share. Um, and if you wanna come, come to South Florida.

[00:32:56] Susanne: Oh my gosh. Yeah. That’s so generous.

[00:32:58] Nicole: Yes.

[00:32:59] Susanne: And yeah, I know that everybody listening is probably like, oh, I wish I was in South Florida to have these resources to be

[00:33:05] Missy: Some of them are, though.

[00:33:06] Susanne: summit. Yes. Some of them are.

[00:33:07] Nicole: Oh, they have to be at there.

[00:33:08] Susanne: I. Yes. So I know, yeah, we have a lot of listeners all over the country. Oh, actually all over the world, which

[00:33:14] Nicole: Yeah, global.

[00:33:15] Susanne: of mind ball boggling.

Um, so yeah, hopefully they will make sure that they have access in the show notes and links to the information about the summit and for you. but then I also am calling on all listeners and in our Facebook group to, yeah, let’s pull together some of the resources in our local communities outside of Florida as well, because.

Busy moms don’t have the time to research that. Let’s see. See if we can pull some stuff together to help

[00:33:40] Missy: busy moms. And then, like you said, tired moms don’t have time to process it sometimes. Just want someone to go here.

[00:33:46] Susanne: Here, come with me. We’re going to this thing.

[00:33:49] Missy: Mm-hmm.

[00:33:50] Nicole: a hundred percent.

[00:33:51] Susanne: but speaking of links to all the places to find you, where are the best places to find you online?

[00:33:56] Nicole: Yes, so motherhood village.com. Very easy. Um, there is also a section to listen to my podcast or you can go Spotify, iTunes, all the things. Also under the name, the Motherhood Village, Instagram, the Motherhood Village one. Unfortunately the Motherhood village handle was already taken. And I’m like, they don’t even post anything.

Everyone keeps

telling me to like, reach out, but I’m like, ugh. Um, but it’s the Motherhood Village one. Nicole Cumberbatch it, it should come up. And then I’m on TikTok, Facebook, also under the Motherhood Village, and I like to connect on LinkedIn. so please, if you wanna connect on LinkedIn, it’s Nicole Cumberbatch.

And you could also email the motherhood village one gmail.com if you have any questions, if you do have any questions about resources, that I can connect you with, cuz my guests are also global, right? So, or, or not just in Florida. so if anyone has any questions about who to connect them with, I’d be more than happy to share that as well.

[00:34:47] Missy: Awesome. Thank you.

[00:34:48] Susanne: Yeah, so generous.

[00:34:49] Missy: and okay. I hate that we’re here. It always goes so fast, but it is about time for look, listen and learns. And so for any of our new listeners, we’re really glad you’re here. Welcome. And at the end of every show, we spend a few minutes just talking about things we’re watching, learning, reading.

Buying, whatever it is. Sometimes they’re really ridiculous, sometimes they’re really serious. It’s just kind of whatever is on your mind right now. And we don’t like to put our guest in the hot seat. So Suzanne, you get to tell us you are, look, listen, and learns first this week.

[00:35:19] Susanne: All right. Let’s see. What am I looking at? I feel like I have done this look before, but it has come full circle, no pun intended. I’m talking about Wheel of Fortune. Um, the last we.

[00:35:31] Missy: done this. Look, have you? Oh, no.

[00:35:33] Susanne: I may have already just talk about it too much within the family. I don’t know. We watch it. We were watching Jeopardy for a long time and I think maybe we all started feeling a little dumb because like celebrity ge, we like to do celebrity Jeopardy and then like the college student.

Jeopardy cuz it

makes us feel a little smarter. Yeah. And we ran out of those. So then we went to Wheel of Fortune, which, which I had to explain to the kids, but it came back again last, in last night’s episode. They had a little, uh, little, it’s huge. It’s like a life size ceramic dalmatian. And so anybody who’s as old as I am and has watched Wheel of Fortune since the seventies knows that the Dalmatian was like the last item that people would always buy because when you would win money in each round, instead of taking that money with you, you had to go shopping

at a little wedge of this circle store in the middle of the Wheel of Fortune

[00:36:29] Missy: Oh, I always wanted to do it so badly,

[00:36:31] Susanne: Yeah, there was like the Toblerone bar like, and then whatever money you

[00:36:36] Missy: be stuff like furniture, there’d be all kinds of

[00:36:38] Susanne: Yeah, there it depended each, each little wedge had a different theme and yeah. And then there was always this ceramic dalmatian that, you know, when you were down to your last couple hundred dollars and then you would take the rest on a van clef and Elle’s gift certificate.

Do you remember that? Anyway, it’s, it’s, they’ve so changed the format

[00:37:00] Missy: They really have. The shopping was really fun.

[00:37:02] Susanne: The shopping was fun and then I was looking up some images of it this morning. This is why my hair’s wet cuz I was looking up the images where it was kind of like, your grade school photos that would have like a face on picture of you, but then like a little.

it had like a little heavenly edging to it around a, you know, a side portrait of you kind of floating off there on the

[00:37:22] Missy: Yes.

[00:37:23] Susanne: And so, yeah, it would just be like this little angel person floating around the set as they went and looked at the items. Like, I’ll take that sofa for $2,000

[00:37:33] Missy: Oh my gosh.

[00:37:35] Susanne: Yes, so we’ve been looking at Wheel of Fortune and trying to explain, there are on YouTube and various places where you can actually go watch some of the classic, I swear, I think people took like a camcorder and videotaped their TV. On most of them. It is not high quality production, but. You get the idea.

So I’ve been looking at that listening. Oh, I am just starting lessons in chemistry. I’m so excited. That’s been one of Missy’s look lesson and learned. Oh, you thumbs up too.

[00:38:03] Missy: book. Okay.

[00:38:04] Susanne: And I’m just taking control of my own destiny cuz my book club did not pick the book that I wanted and lessons in chemistry was in second place.

I’m reading it anyway.

[00:38:13] Nicole: What, what one first place?

[00:38:15] Susanne: Oh, it was first place. Oh shoot. It was the one. I just did a look. Listen, it starts with a B

[00:38:22] Missy: Bunny.

[00:38:22] Susanne: it up. No, Burnham. Burnham Wood. Yeah, Burnham Wood. Which again, I did not give rave reviews, but I just saw like 500 more awards for it. Recently in

[00:38:33] Nicole: What is it called?

[00:38:34] Missy: raving Burnham. Oh.

[00:38:37] Susanne: Oh,

[00:38:37] Nicole: Is it fiction,

[00:38:38] Susanne: it.

I just started it plain. It is fiction and it is a story of, uh, it’s this like environmental group, but they’re kind of not rogue. They’re very grassroots in the sense that they will just go take. Land that people are not using, like behind abandoned shops or, you know, or people’s great big yards where they don’t look in the back and they’ll plant things and then they’ll sell these, the produce or whatever.

And then it just, and then it just, it gets really, really bizarre from there or something. It starts off I, and then it’s like, what, what happened? Um, but it gets lots and lots of awards, so do not listen to me. I, as we have been discovering over the past two months of my book reviews, I think I just have low class.

tasting books. So

[00:39:24] Missy: Oh, and I keep telling you, it’s not low class. You just like what you

[00:39:27] Susanne: I

like what I

and what I

like. Does not win awards.

[00:39:31] Missy: because all, and this, the National Book Award, often I’ll try to read them and I’m like, it’s not for me. Not that it’s not a good book, but it’s not what I want. So yeah, don’t, no shame.

You read what you want.

[00:39:42] Susanne: Yes. And then, let’s see, my learn, my brain is just full everything in Mom too, so I can’t even, I mean, there’s like SEO chat, G P T, all the things. But my biggest learn is that the Camelback, where were we? Camelback Spa.

[00:39:55] Missy: And we’ll back in, in

[00:39:56] Susanne: Camelback Inn Resort Spa. If you go get a pedicure there, they do it in a, this massage chair, which I’ve never spent any time in.

And my niece asked for one for Christmas a few years ago, and I was like,

[00:40:10] Missy: She asked for a massage

[00:40:11] Susanne: Oh no. She’s so smart. She’s so smart. And I support her dream for the massage

chair now. It was life changing. Yeah, she’s little. I don’t even know how she fits in there. All the little nubbies, were probably going to the wrong places, but, oh my God.

I mean, it was almost forceful and dangerous and for a minute I was worried it was gonna knock a vertebrae outta place, but it was so good and I had had a headache for a week leading up to that. Gone.

[00:40:36] Nicole: Wow.

[00:40:37] Susanne: Get the pedicure because you get the built-in massage with it. Love it. The lady next to me did not have hers turn on, and I almost got up out of my seat and went and booed the remote for her.

I was like, you do not

know what you’re

[00:40:48] Missy: were wet, so you couldn’t.

[00:40:50] Susanne: I could not,

[00:40:50] Nicole: No,

[00:40:51] Susanne: I was too in bli. I mean, I seriously like had my eyes closed. I was just like so in bliss. So that, that was my biggest li that wasn’t my biggest learn of mom two. Oh. But that

was just a bonus learn.

[00:41:03] Nicole: Love it.

[00:41:04] Susanne: what about you, Nicole?

[00:41:06] Nicole: So my, look, I just finished Firefly Lane, the final season.

[00:41:10] Missy: It’s on my list. Yeah.

[00:41:11] Nicole: Um ha. Have you watched it at all or are you

[00:41:13] Missy: I’ve watched it up to this last part that they

[00:41:16] Nicole: I’ve binge watched it and I don’t have time to watch TV as often as I would like. It really truly is like I finally learned the guilty pleasure of what that means. Gimme some ice cream.

And there’s some every so often where I can go without watching TV for a couple weeks and then it just hits me and I’m like, gimme ice cream. I look at my husband, leave me alone and I can watch TV for like four, five hours straight. Um,

[00:41:37] Missy: kind of what I wanna do on Mother’s Day.

[00:41:39] Nicole: oh, I told my.

yes, yes, yes. yes. Um, so yeah, Firefly Lane was awesome.

Ugh. I cried and cried and cried and cried. My mom is now watching it. Um, she was like, oh my God, I didn’t know about the show. Brilliant show. Love it. I also read the book, and I loved how it was so different. I don’t know if you did both or if you read the book as well. Um, but yeah, so that was my look, my listen.

Um, well actually my look is that and what would be the book, under the book also, look, because I don’t, I read it.

Is that a

[00:42:08] Missy: Yeah, whatever. We p we play pretty fast and loose with

where things fit, wherever you

[00:42:12] Nicole: Um, uh, lessons in chemistry was great. I actually just finished it last night. I actually binge watched. Um, I wanted to finish it cuz I was getting to the good part.

Loved it, loved it, loved it. Actually didn’t know what to expect. so that, that, and then I guess a listen. I was listening to some of your podcast episodes and other women’s that I kind of met at Mom 2.0. So that’s been pretty cool to kind of un, you know, see like different people’s, like podcasts and stuff.

Um, and then as far as learn, um, Yeah, from Mom 2.0, I would say that was a big one. As far as learning, I think what it solidified for me, I wish I would’ve done the spot, so I’m very jealous because I didn’t realize till afterwards where we were going. I think it was like, again, like the overwhelm we’re going here, put it to the side, and then literally it wasn’t until a week before I’m like, oh shoot.

Like I should probably think about what we’re gonna do. And when I went to the app for the hotel, I’m like, they have a spa. Like why didn’t I book a spa service? So I was very disappointed I didn’t make it. Um, but I’m glad that you got to do it. But, um, I would say learning is just, I met so many incredible people.

That what I learned is that it’s solidifying that I’m on the right path that I’m on. Um, there was a lot of things that I was like, huh, I guess I’m not crazy. Um, and there were things that I was like, oh, okay, good. I’m kind of doing that, in that way. And then of course of how to implement some of the things that maybe I didn’t know that helped me of like seeing different ways, but truthfully, it really solidified that I’m kind of on the right path and this is really what I’m meant to do.

Yeah, and I learned a lot from the keynotes. Austin Channing Brown, which the from scratch ladies like.

They just did a phenomenal job with the speakers that they had, and I read the book and watched them and watched the show.

So yes, yes, yes. Like I highly recommend both. The book is more about the grieving and I feel like the show is more about the love story. So it was great to have the two contrasting views. Um, and I spoke to the author about that and she said, yes, that’s exactly right. The book is more her grieving, it’s her memoir, right.

Um, but the show is really about the love story that they had. So yeah, highly recommend that.

[00:44:13] Missy: Yeah. We will put both of all the links to all of those things and to. Yeah, we need to do a big wrap up of all the keynotes and

things that we learned

[00:44:21] Susanne: Oh my gosh. I know I usually do a recap after each mom too, kind of as a service to readers, but mostly just to re, sometimes it helps just to cement it in your brain because there is so much, so fast that it’s good to review it.

[00:44:37] Missy: Yeah. So much.

[00:44:38] Susanne: All right. Then I think, Missy, what have you been look, listen, and learning.

[00:44:42] Missy: Okay, let’s see. Well, as usual, I’m on the cutting edge of what’s on the television and I, we just started watching a show that’s Five Seasons in, and it’s actually still on tv and it’s on Network tv. Um, but it’s called A Million Little Things, and we’re watching it on Hulu because we’re five seasons behind.

But it’s the story of a Fri friend group. And this is not a spoiler. In the first episode, one of the members of the friend group commits suicide and it’s trying to figure this out, the unraveling of their group, the coming back together and I mean, we’re only in season one.

I have no idea where it’s all gonna go. Um, but it’s pretty well acted and Mark likes it. That doesn’t happen very often, that anything with a drama.

[00:45:22] Susanne: Mm-hmm.

[00:45:22] Missy: Little bit of drama to it. He, it’s not usually his thing. so we’ve been watching that together and it’ll take us probably five years to catch up because we watch one half to half an episode to one episode every couple nights.

It’s going to take a while. but I was looking forward, we haven’t watched one since I’ve been home from the conference, but at the conference at one point I was like, Ooh, I kind of can’t wait to go home and watch my show with Mark. and then I’m listening to Iona Iverson’s Rules for Commuting by CLA Pooley.

Uh, I listened to it on the way, there and back on the plane and, It’s an adorable story. I am not quite finished, so I dunno how it ends, but, a story of a woman who is finding that people think she’s Pastor Prime. I could not love that more. Um, she’s a little older than we are, but she’s fi you know, at work people are like, oh, we need the millennial point of view, not your point of view.

And um, and then it’s the story of the people on her train that she commutes with and how they become intertwined and.

Help each other, Evan. It’s really cute and since I’m listening to it, it’s read in a delightful British accent and I really enjoy it. But I found I couldn’t speed it up too much. Cause I was like, wait, what?

I didn’t,

what was that word? So I have to keep it.

[00:46:33] Susanne: yes, I need to slow down the British accents. I need to slow down. Downton Abby. I need to slow down pretty much any movie with British accents. I’m like, I know you’re speaking English, but I still don’t get

[00:46:43] Missy: Yeah, I always speed up my audiobooks. And this one, in fact, last night I was listening at bedtime and I was like, oh, nope, nope, nope. We gotta go down to regular speed because I am too tired to process these words.

Um, so in my learn also, mom 2.0 learn, my brain is full and just exploding. But I think my favorite thing I learned about was cks.

And I’ve been reading some cks for a while and I didn’t really understand the difference between that in a newsletter. They’re sort of like a newsletter and a blog. Got married and had a baby. and so I’ve been on and playing around and I think Suzanne and I each need to start our own and then maybe one for the podcast or maybe we just use our own to kind of tie back.

I don’t know.

[00:47:26] Susanne: Did I tell you that I had started my own?

[00:47:29] Missy: yes, and Suzanne actually already had her name.

[00:47:32] Nicole: Nice.

[00:47:33] Susanne: went to go make sure that my ck from my name was reserved, and I was like, wait a minute, and I follow like 20 people. And as I don’t know when I did this, when did TCK

start?

[00:47:42] Nicole: so funny.

[00:47:43] Missy: It’s been around a while. I mean a couple years for sure. Maybe longer.

[00:47:46] Susanne: I could have been a trailblazer and I didn’t,

[00:47:51] Nicole: I

know.

[00:47:52] Susanne: I don’t

[00:47:52] Missy: are some really wonderful ones out there. Whatever you’re interested in, you can find that little niche out on. And it really is all about writers and creators getting paid for what they’re putting out there.

And it’s a different kind of algorithm than what exists for, say, Facebook or Instagram. It’s being driven by the people inside this, inside sub, the users are driving and you do subscribe to some of it. Some parts of it you can have. When you set one up, yours can be free or you can have a paid portion or it can all be paid.

There’s different amounts and different levels and it’s really modular and you can kind of mix it up and do what works for you in your community and you can change it as you go along. So I really love that it’s flexible and modular and creator focused.

[00:48:39] Susanne: Yes. I love that it allows people who want to write but don’t necessarily know how to do a website to actually have a voice because, I mean, there are a lot of fairly simple websites out there, but they still take some time and they take. The hosting money and they take the this, and you have to update all the pieces of it.

So if someone is out there and it’s just like, oh, I wish I, you know, could do a blog or whatever, but I don’t wanna do the tech part of it now you can. I, I do think that’s a lovely part of it.

[00:49:11] Missy: It is, it’s a really, it’s a really simple platform with really complex abilities, I guess. so I, I liked a lot and I’ve been playing with it and as we’ve all mentioned, our brains are fried, so I don’t think I’m gonna make a lot of progress on it until maybe this weekend or early next week. But, um, I have really enjoyed it.

[00:49:30] Nicole: Very cool.

[00:49:31] Susanne: Oh

[00:49:32] Missy: that’s it,

[00:49:33] Susanne: yes, we have looked listened and learned and Yeah. And when I know, I’m glad we’re all in the same place, because if we had been meeting with a guest today that was not at mom two and did not understand why, our brains are just like still kind of like, eh, what are we

[00:49:49] Nicole: It was meant to be. It was meant to be.

[00:49:51] Missy: It was meant to be.

[00:49:52] Susanne: Thank goodness for Missy’s sharp eyes and looking at name tags of the people sitting next to her or else. Can you imagine if we started this conversation and we were like, oh yeah, we just got back from mom too. And you’d be like, oh, me too. And, and since it sounds like we are doing a sales pitch for Mom too, and we, we do this all the time with it, there are actually tickets open. The next location’s gonna be in Nashville,

[00:50:17] Nicole: I know. Did you get your ticket yet?

[00:50:18] Susanne: Oh yeah.

[00:50:19] Nicole: I have. I need you to. I need to. I think today’s the last

[00:50:21] Susanne: Yeah. You better get ’em.

[00:50:22] Missy: Yeah, by the time this episode is out, it’ll be too late.

But for anyone who did get their tickets by mother’s, I think it’s by the end of day Mother’s Day, maybe it’s the best deal I’ve ever seen on a mom 2.0 ticket. Like when they flash the price up, I was like, well,

[00:50:37] Susanne: We should probably share it in the group just in case there’s people who are

[00:50:40] Missy: yeah, I think I will. We will have, by the time you hear this, shared it in our group, because it’s a great deal.

You can’t not buy one.

[00:50:49] Susanne: Yeah.

Oh, well, I would say it was so nice to meet you, but we already met you, so it’s so nice to meet you twice this week,

[00:50:55] Nicole: Yes.

[00:50:56] Susanne: and so grateful for all you are doing for moms in your community. I mean, that’s what it’s all about is the building that connection, helpings, support them with information and support them just with community.

thank you. thank you. for all you do.

[00:51:11] Nicole: Thank you for having me and for allowing me to share my journey and my truth. and thank you for what you’re doing with the podcast. It’s awesome.

[00:51:17] Missy: Thank

[00:51:18] Susanne: All right, everybody

[00:51:19] Missy: Happy Mother’s Day and

[00:51:20] Nicole: Yes. Happy Mother’s Day. Oh yeah. This is a yes.

[00:51:24] Susanne: Happy Mother’s Day. Alright, bye-bye.

[00:51:27] Missy: right, bye.

Thank you so much for joining us for the Mom and dot.dot podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show today. And if you know someone else who could benefit from today’s episode, be sure to share it with them. Also, please subscribe and rate us wherever you listen to podcasts. You can find links to all the things we discussed today in the show notes over at our website, mom and podcast.com with the a n d spelled out.

In between shows, you can find us at the socials, including our private mom and community Facebook group. You can find links to the group, all of our socials in our questions and comments section over at our website, mom and podcast.com. Thank you so much for your support. We appreciate you so much. Now go out there and make your ellipses count.

The post Navigating Career & Parenthood: It Takes a (Motherhood) Village appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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May 11, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 119 / Guest: Cynthia MuchnickSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:Cynthia Muchnick started writing with the story of her marriage proposal, and she hasn’t stopped since. Her topics have evolved along with her life and career, leading to her most recent book, The Parent Compass: Navigating Your Teen’s Wellness & Academic Journey in Today’s Competitive World. We talked with Cynthia about how parents can best help our kids – and ourselves – negotiate the complex process of deciding how to choose the next best step using The Parent Compass.

Topics From This Episode:* Parenting teens * College search * College application process * Parenting behavior * Parent-child relationships * Parent-child communication * Determining the right path after high school * Post-high school choices * Self-care for parents * Connection * Listening * Continuing education for parents * Learning new skills

Look, Listen, LearnMissy

Looking at maps of the midwest for college visits
A Slight Change of Plans with Maya Shankar, episode about the science of friendship
Learning that she has a lot to learn about parenting through the college application process

Cynthia

Broadway show tunes, especially Something Rotten!
The Dutch House by Ann Patchett
Revlon Kiss Balm
Ted Lasso
Shrinking
Well Rested Every Day: 365 Rituals, Recipes, and Reflections of Radical Peace and Renewal by Jolene Hart

Susanne

Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence on Hulu
We Can Do Hard Things episode 203 with Michelle Zauner

More About Cynthia Muchnick:Cynthia Muchnick, a mom and… expert in the college admission process. She got her start in admission offices before opening a private study skills and college counseling business in Southern California, which she ran for over fifteen years. As an Assistant Director of Admission for the Illinois Institute of Technology and the University of Chicago, she screened and reviewed over three thousand applications, interviewed prospective students, and served on the admission committee to evaluate borderline applicants and appeals cases. Then, as an educational consultant, she helped hundreds of high school students navigate their academic journeys, including course selection, study skills, time management, and college applications.

Since closing her private educational practice in 2011, Cynthia has focused on public speaking to student, parent, school and business groups on a variety of education-related topics. Additionally. Cynthia is a prolific writer, and the parent of four children.

Connect with Cynthia Muchnick:* The Parent Compass website * Facebook * Instagram * LinkedIn * CynthiaMuchnick.com

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

[00:00:00] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Welcome to the mom and dot.dot podcast.

I’m Missy Stevens mom and dot.dot writer, foster child Advocate, and this week college visit travel coordinator. And I really love it when my activities align perfectly with our podcast topic.

[00:00:22] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: It really does. I mean, my past year is aligned perfectly with this podcast topic, so, and I’m Susanne Kearns and mom and dot.dot writer, LGBTQ and sex ed advocate. And this week I am the family dog Walker. Chris is on a boys weekend. And so now, I mean, doubled the dogs. I’m gonna, I’m gonna be really fit by the end of this weekend.

So that’s it. Yes.

[00:00:50] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Well, most of it should be good weather, except for apparently tonight. Uh, we’re, as we’re recording this, we’re in Austin and it looks like there could be horrible weather

[00:00:57] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Tornado warning, it’s the the daily tornado

[00:01:00] audioMissyStevens21238770779: been a week. It’s been a week. Well, our guest today is Cindy Muk, A mom and dot.expert in the college admission process. She got her start in admission offices before opening a private study skills in college counseling business in Southern California. As an assistant Director of admission for the Illinois Institute of Technology and the University of Chicago, she screened and reviewed over 3000 applications, interviewed prospective students, and served on the admission committee to evaluate borderline applicants and appeals cases.

Then as an educational consultant, she helped hundreds of high school students navigate their academic journeys, including core selection, study skills, time management, and college applications. Since she closed her private practice in. 2011. Cindy has focused on public speaking to student, parent school and business groups on a variety of education related topic.

She’s also a prolific writer, and today we are primarily focusing on her 10th book, the Parent Compass, which you can see I have bookmarked, I have been reading.

[00:01:57] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Lots of little folded corners.

[00:01:59] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Yes. And in addition to writing and speaking, Cindy is also raising four kids that range in age, from college grad to middle school. Welcome.

[00:02:07] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Thank you. It’s so good to be here. I feel the women love going

[00:02:11] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Yes, yes. The

[00:02:13] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: love.

[00:02:14] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: the Moms of Seniors Love, which we’re gonna definitely dive into. But, uh, we learned a little bit about you from your bio, but can you give us a little Cindy 1 0 1 for where your career started and any pivots along the way?

[00:02:27] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Absolutely. You know, it actually all began with a marriage proposal. my husband proposing to me in a really unique way that turned into my first book, will You Marry Me, the World’s Most Romantic Proposals back in 1996, a long time ago, and I did not realize that, um, You know, that proposal would spark a career in writing.

But, over the course of my career, I’ve written, started with books on weddings and marriage proposals and honeymoons, and then turned into the college counseling side, which was really more my, you know, kind of love and background, professionally. And so working with teens, uh, over the course of my career is, Absolutely been my most favorite thing.

In fact, I couldn’t wait for my kids to be teenagers, which people sort of scratch their head and say, what about, you know, the toddler and the babies? And I wasn’t as good at that. I was ready for these teenage years and they are hard and they are, gray hair producing. But, um, there is something about this life stage that just gets me, I just love the evolution that you.

See as it’s changing and happening as these young people are becoming young adults and really finding their voices and, uh, I think they get a bad rap, quite frankly. I think they’re

[00:03:39] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: so too. They are so cool.

[00:03:41] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: amazing young people. So that has really been my, my love. And whenever I have an opportunity to connect with teens and, and their parents, feel all the good feels.

So my, own kids. Um, yeah, actually probably that bio was a little bit dated cuz my, my youngest is now a sophomore in high school. So I have a sophomore in high school and I have a, yeah, a college graduate, out in the real world. So I’m still in the end throes of things. I also have a high school senior, so somebody going off to college this fall.

And, I’ve really enjoyed it. I’ve, I enjoyed the parenting side, but I’ve also enjoyed the work of, connecting with these kids from all different communities and backgrounds, helping them on this journey and trying to kind of demystify and make the college admission process a little more bearable and a little less scary and overwhelming.

[00:04:25] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Why weren’t we doing this interview a year

[00:04:27] audioMissyStevens21238770779: I know.

[00:04:28] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: I’m so

upset.

[00:04:29] audioMissyStevens21238770779: timing for me.

[00:04:30] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Yeah, good for you.

[00:04:32] audioMissyStevens21238770779: ball for you, but. before we recorded, we emailed back and forth and I said that we were gonna try not to make it a therapy session, but we might have to do that. We, Susanne just went through it.

They’ve had an acceptance, they’ve made a decision, they’re on the road. And I’m on the other end of that, starting figuring out where he’s applying and doing visits and all of that. And it’s really hard. So I loved, it’s a journey and, um, I really love the chapter on behaving. I have it bookmarked now. I went straight to it.

That’s the first chapter I read in the book. And then I went back because it turns out I don’t have the poker face I thought I had. And so we would love it if you could share some tips, like how do you parent through this time? What should we be trying to do?

[00:05:20] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Yeah. So let me take a, a short step back to tell you that this book, the Parent Compass was born, uh, my co-author Jen Curtis, and I wrote this book together. it really started as a result of the college admission scandal, in 2019 when parents, um, were just behaving horribly badly, and our news headlines were flooded with, um, you know, parents cheating the system and kids that, you know, had falsified test scores and falsified.

Resumes and the whole thing was wild, right? and hard to believe. And so the two of us talked about, you know, following those headlines, but also what things we were seeing in our own offices that might have been the result of parents being just a little too consumed and a little too involved in this process.

And so we decided really originally to write an etiquette book to teach parents behavior like how to behave in between and teen years as a parent. And then what evolved was this book that really helps parents navigate the tween and teen years focusing on two things, the mental health of their teens and the parent-child relationship so that it remains intact when they leave home.

And, you know, those are two pretty big, goals to try to measure and try to kind of teach. So we consulted teachers heads of school. Um, Thought leaders, the data, other experts who’ve written books on, topics relating to teens and we. Even interviewed teens themselves, and we collected and used stories from our own practices of kids we’d worked with, who we felt the parenting was really working well in conjunction with the teen and in other ways where the parents were really overstepping.

So the parent encompasses a book that requires parents to be brave and be willing to do what is really counterintuitive, which is instead of. Micromanaging and being overly involved in hovering to actually pull back. Um, which is very, very hard to do because our inclination is to pour support and involvement and that feels like we’re providing love to our kids.

So it feels very natural. Cause those are the things we’ve done up until between years. We’ve driven them, we’ve fed them, we’ve helped them navigate all these things. But it’s their turn now. And so this book is like at this kind of inflection point of how do you have to sort of change your behavior as a parent in the best interest of your child and in the best interest of your relationship with them.

And so, um, that’s where the book was born. But really jumping straight to the college admission process itself. While it might feel like a process that we need to kind of ride them on, it really needs to be a process that they take the lead on because ultimately this is their. For your journey if they’re choosing college.

That is cuz there’s a whole chapter on other routes other than college, which we could talk about later if we have time. So the point is, kids need to feel a sense of ownership and it can be overwhelming. There’s over 4,000 colleges in the United States, so how do you even whittle them down? And the Internet’s a great place to kind of take virtual tours and start to familiarize yourself, but.

Really the best thing a parent can do if you have an opportunity and even in your hometown, is to set foot on a college campus with your child. Really starting in middle school or high school, just so not even during the college admission process. Just so they see what it is they’re sort of working towards and what they respond to.

Do they like an urban environment? Do they like a quiet, smaller space? Do they like, you know, a school with rah rah sports teams or a school that doesn’t have a Greek system? So it’s finding those kinds of things and, and starting that journey together. That would be one main thing.

[00:08:41] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Okay. So I, I love that idea. I’m a hundred percent bought into it. But then I also encountered this issue like, There’s a lot of stuff that during that time period when kids are supposed to be working on these essays, working on these applications, they’re also realizing, Ooh, I don’t have very much on my little college resume or whatever.

So now I need to go get a job. I need to be doing all these things that I can write about. Then on this application, if we kind of were in a weird situation cuz we’re coming post. Covid like the years when kids would’ve been filling out these resumes that are now the seniors and going off to college.

They were locked up in home. Like so they, so I think there was a lot of stuff that had to happen that end of junior, beginning of senior year, and. was getting really nervous cuz she was doing a lot of amazing things, and especially as an art student, she had to also do then 18 pieces of complete art for her portfolio.

So there was just a lot of stuff. coming over. And so it was just like, how do we choose, is the essay getting the time or is the test that you have to take tomorrow getting the time? And it’s so how then, besides having a time machine that can take you back and do better time management so that you’re not in that 11th hour scenario, like how do you help work through.

The temptation is kind of like the fifth grade science project at midnight that you’re gluing things together for your kid because it’s too late at that point to, you know, you can kind of let ’em fail, but then that means they’re not going to college.

[00:10:20] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: No, that’s, that’s a good question. There definitely is planning an organization and time management involved in the journey, and the kids do see this coming, right? I mean, they feel it, they feel all the pressure and what’s going on long before we even open our mouths. They feel it in their environment at school.

They hear about it from their peers. They see it on tv, whatever, wherever they, you know, feel it. It’s there. So yes, there is some advanced planning, but remembering, you know, all the scientists tell us that the, you know, male brain is not fully evolved until it’s 25, I guess. And, while, you know, girls may mature faster, some of our kids are just by definition more organized and more on top of things, and others are a little more lackadaisical or procrastinators.

And some of it is actually knowing who your kid is. So there are ways that you can support, it doesn’t mean totally disengaged from the journey. Without, uh, managing the process. So there’s certainly open-ended questions. You can be asking like little status check-ins, but their school does have a counselor there who is kind of in charge of making sure that the details are happening and starting those out.

College essays early, meaning the, the day, junior year ends. That summer should be the time that the essays are being written. They can all be finished even before school starts, except the ones that come out. There’s some supplements that might come out late, like later in August or a little in September.

So the personal statement can be done in the summer. The why this school questions can be done early. An activity paragraph can be done early. There’s a lot of that that can, that writing. It’s almost like a writing class over the summer that they can be taking in addition to. Whatever other activities.

When we talk about running out of time at the 11th hour, that’s also what summers are kind of for. Right? So, I was just talking with in a different interview about the idea that in the summer this is the time to do the things you don’t have time to do during the school year. So if your child has never had a job, or if your child hasn’t had time to volunteer, or if they need an extra class to kind of bolster things or they have an interest in something else, this is the time to also pursue it.

So summers aren’t just relaying around at the beach and completely unplugging, although that’s important. But if you’re going to the beach and you like the beach, maybe work as a lifeguard or maybe organize a beach cleanup so that you’re at the beach doing something you love. But it’s also kind of fulfilling another sort of checkbox, an activity that might.

be part of the process as well. so I mean, I really think what kids shouldn’t be doing is making themselves miserable to kind of quote, look good for colleges, right? You hear all the time, I’m only doing this because my mom made me, or because it’s supposed to look good. It’s so inauthentic.

And it doesn’t feel good to be doing the things you don’t wanna be doing. So when I ask a student about the clubs they’re involved in and they can’t even give me a sentence about them or they say how boring it is, I say, what are you doing there? find something else to spend your time is quantifiable.

You only have so much of it, so you should be enjoying the things that you’re doing in that time. So there is some planning ahead, but I think for parents it really is just planting some seeds and sprinkling them around like, Hey, do you wanna do a college trip this fall? Where, where might you wanna visit?

Or should we get in the car and go to a couple local schools and take some tours? Why don’t you hop online and see what time the tours are offered? You know, just those kinds of things so that it’s not you planning the whole schedule.

[00:13:33] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Yep.

[00:13:34] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Right,

[00:13:34] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Okay. Learn from my mistakes. Missy.

[00:13:37] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Okay.

[00:13:38] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: No, I think, yeah, touring. Earlier, we’d started spring break of junior year. some of that was covid related. Some of it was me being like, oh wait, you’re becoming a senior. Uh, but using that summer, stamp of approval on that advice so much. So, yeah.

[00:13:56] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Yeah. We have a plan to

[00:13:59] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: I mean that, that would be some, there’s a, you know, the whole chapter kind of goes into more details without spoilers, you know, but really, if you’re worried about what your role is in this college process, it’s pretty easily defined. But it also is knowing your kid because. Some kids do need a little more fire under their belly, or you have to employ an older sibling or their school counselor to say, do you know if they’ve gotten this done?

So it kind of like comes back to them from someone else. Sometimes you hire a private counselor to kind of help, keep things moving, but none of that’s required. Right. this is a doable process. Certainly if you’re not applying to more than, you know, eight to 10 schools. It’s very doable.

It’s o it feels overwhelming because there’s a lot of pieces to it, but, The most important piece, is the fact that they just get it, get it done. But also, I mean, there’s, the writing, there’s the activities, there’s the test taking, but the most important piece is really who are they in school in the day?

What kind of student are they and, and where do they sort of fall in the whole scheme of being a student? So I think that really, that transcript really tells the most to the college admissions office about who they are. And the essays just give a little bit of voice to their personality. I mean, it’s impossible to.

You can’t tell your life story in, you know, 500 words. You can give a little glimpse of who you are and then they can look at, the courses you’ve taken, the kinds of courses you’ve taken. They look at you within the context of your school. you know, you’re not compared to people at, schools very different from yours.

You’re com you know, compared to students at comparable schools, that sort of thing. And it is a imperfect process. I mean, the word that the colleges use is holistic. To make it sort of feel like they look at lots of different things and they’re trying to build a class, which is very true, but it’s scary to be on the other side.

You don’t know how many kids are applying from your school each year, how many from your zip code, how many tuba players they want, how many artists they want, whatever it might be. And I think your kids just need to know in the end that you totally support them. You are completely on their team. You are so excited for wherever it is they think they wanna go, and that you see them and embrace them and are.

Super happy because these feelings and this fear of like rejection, you know, colleges don’t even use the word rejected in their vocabulary. It’s just they were denied admission. You’re not gonna get in everywhere. So let’s not worry about those. Let’s focus on what you do have, and let’s be excited about one of these.

[00:16:13] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Yes.

[00:16:14] audioMissyStevens21238770779: So I’m gonna, Pivot for a minute and talk about moms, and it’s hard to keep, like it’s hard to keep me out of the process. Like I’m just going to speak personally, like my thoughts, my opinions, this whole thing is not for the faint of heart. So how do we nurture ourselves? Like do you have advice for how do we really take care of keeping our minds in the right place so that we’re not so wrapped up in what’s

[00:16:41] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, I hate to be cliche and say the word self-care, but we do need to kind of breathe and, try to remove ourselves to some degree from the process. Cuz let’s remember like a generation ago, we had a process. And it was albeit different. Albeit different. You know, we typed things on applications and we didn’t send off quite so many, and it was on paper and wasn’t virtual and whatever it is, but they’re still asking the same questions.

They’re still asking you to write us some essays. You know, it’s, it’s still there. But I do think it’s finding, um, some like-minded parents around you, that. oftentimes it helps if they’re at other schools actually as well, so that you’re not caught up in this like competitive parent frenzy that can sort of bubble up at the cocktail parties or at the back to school nights and, and make you feel like, oh my God, what did I miss and what did I do wrong?

Finding a parent usually ahead of you in the process. So Missy, you’ve got Susanne to learn from and, you know, and, and me or other people who’ve been through it before that can kind of, be like-minded and I think really, trimming the toxicity from your own life of, of the frenzy.

Because the reality is your kid will go somewhere and it’s going to all work out in the end to some degree, and, and it might not be their first choice or even their fifth choice, but I always say you make a college list looking at the very last choice on your list and saying, would I be okay going there?

Would I be okay? And if the answer is no, then you gotta find some more. That would be kind of your very last choice. And would that be okay? And sometimes the very last choice yields, let’s take a gap year. Let’s try something different for a year. Because I, I don’t want that last choice anymore. I wanna try this.

I wanna give myself a different opportunity, or I wanna pivot and, and, and make a different decision. The other thing is, that in the book, We have, right away in the very first chapter, which is ironic because we wrote the whole book and then we realized something important was missing, which is exactly the question you asked Missy, is how do you take your baggage and not project it onto your kit?

And so what we did was we created a questionnaire, we tested it on lots and lots of people and got a lot of feedback on it. And we asked about 20 questions of parents of. What was your educational background? How did your parents parent you regarding education? You know, what were your study skills like?

how do you view college and, and the need to go to college or not? And, and looking at your own upbringing and your own background. We talk about looking backward in order to look forward. It’s kind of the physician heal by self thing. Like you can’t parent well unless you kind of have come to terms with your own stuff.

And, if we just. Are vicariously, you know, making our kids like a trophy as opposed to just, they’re a human being going through their journey and let’s let them have their turn. that’s kind of the, the, the challenge. And so we created one page in the book for the teens to join in. And in this questionnaire, the teens will also answer their questions of.

What, you know, do you wish your parent knew about how things are going in high school or what do you wish your parent would do more of that they’re not doing? Or, what’s your vision for college and how do you feel like it differs from what your parent’s vision is? And by doing this questionnaire together, and it just literally takes 10 minutes, you have to find your child at a moment of food and, happiness and no technology

[00:19:59] audioMissyStevens21238770779: I was just thinking like, when

[00:20:01] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: When do you find it? Right? So you say to them,

[00:20:03] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: tackle them on the way to the kitchen.

[00:20:05] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: I wanna be a better mom. And they hear those words and go, whoa, well I need you to help me be a better mom and if you can gimme 10 minutes of your time, I think I can be a better mom to you. And I think, you know, we can communicate better.

I don’t know what kid wouldn’t say like, sure, let me show you how to be a better mom. And you sit them down and you say, I’m gonna answer these questions, you’re gonna answer these questions and let’s have just a conversation. And you would be surprised. It was kind of inspired by those Post-Its on the walls that, um, we saw a back to school night where they had students reply with what they wish their parents knew.

And you read all these post-its of like kids saying, I wish my mom knew how hard I really was trying, or, I wish my mom knew how tired I really am. Or, I wish my mom knew how lonely I am, or whatever these things are. It was heartbreaking and we thought, How can we bring in and open up this communication between the parent and the child better?

So we did it with this questionnaire and um, we’ve had really great response from it. So I would say get a hard copy of the book, or take a screenshot of it, have someone take a screenshot for you and do those questions with your kid. Cuz I think it really does, does help and, um, helps remind you to kind of separate yourself from their journey.

So that you see them for kind of who they are and what they love. And I think one of the biggest challenges that I always hear from parents is, what if you just don’t connect with your teen? What if their interests are so different from yours? And everything about them is just, you know, you sort of clash.

How do you. Get through these years, and I feel like I always say, I promise, it’s not like a broken record. Your job as a parent is to find what excites your teen and get excited with them about it, whatever it might be. So I have a kid that loves everything about fantasy football. I don’t even know, like a first down from a fourth down.

I mean, I just, I don’t know the names of the players. I don’t know the names of the teams, but boy do I ask how the fantasy football team is going. And suddenly I get. Just a flood of information. So we find those things that turn on the light bulb for our kids. It could be video games. Parents are like, oh, my kid’s always on their phone scrolling.

Ask your kid to show you what they’re scrolling. What are they looking at? What? What’s it, show me the funny TikTok video that you’re laughing about. Show me the naughty thing that you just saw, like, let’s talk about it. Let me. Let me be shoulder to shoulder with you and not judge you for it, and just say, okay, that’s your thing right now.

I’ll, I’ll do it with you. You know, show me how to play the video

[00:22:28] audioMissyStevens21238770779: a,

[00:22:28] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh.

[00:22:29] audioMissyStevens21238770779: a, a deal with our youngest cuz he’s really into some stuff that like he loves computers and. it’s just video games I don’t know anything about. And he’s built a computer, he’s done all this stuff. He just wants to talk about it. And so I always say, you can tell me everything I’m gonna tell you right now.

I don’t understand it. And I may ask some questions or I may just listen. And you have to know that like, I don’t get it, but he just wants to talk about it. He’s like, yeah, I just wanna tell you about it.

[00:22:57] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: well, they say with teens you have to go by the 80 20 rule. 80% of what you should be doing with your teens is listening. And 20% is talking. And that’s really hard for me. I’m a talker and we have a whole chapter about asking good questions and, how to be a better listener. And Jen, my co-author’s really good at that.

She’s, um, an M s W and she, just knows kind of how to do that really well, and I’ve learned a lot from her on how to be a better listener because I too can be guilty of my kids telling me I’m consumed with social media or I’m too glued to my device and my. You know, whatever it is.

And I have to sort of take my detox diet and, engage and, put the distractions away too. So we can all, you know, Jen and I talk about the mistakes we’ve made. We are not perfect. We, as parents, you know, come up with, you know, show you the things we also agree that we did wrong and that we continue to learn because I think we’re all a work in progress, right?

We’re doing the best we can.

[00:23:51] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: that

[00:23:52] audioMissyStevens21238770779: yeah. And you have four kids, so that fourth one, like. Do they know how lucky they are? How much you’ve learned from the other three?

[00:23:59] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Although I still get curve balls from the fourth one when I once, I think I’ve known it all. And it’s funny cuz after writing a bunch of books through the years, people are like, when are you gonna write a parenting book? I’m like, I’m an expert. Like the, you know, there’s a lot of other people out there who’ve done it a lot longer and know a lot more than I do.

But I think working with teens for all these years did really inform a lot because I would get teens away from their moms and dads and there is this safe space where you’re connecting with them and hearing. From them and learning from them. The things that you kind of are heartbreaking too, cuz they open up to you a lot and share a lot and it is kind of a therapy that’s sort of happening and I’m not trained in that.

I’m trained in, you know, guiding kids to get these tasks done and meet the deadlines and, and do the work and, and to get feedback on the writing and, and all of that. But, it’s been, you know, really a learning process for me too, and I’ve really enjoyed it. I hope my kids say I, you know, have done done well by them.

We’ll, we’ll only know 10 or 20 years when their parents themselves.

[00:24:54] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh my gosh. Well, okay, I’m gonna kind of tag on the, the moms here because we do talk obviously a lot about moms and dot, dot, dot and trying to make sure that we are making the most out of our ellipses. And I discovered in doing the college process that I did, uh, for a while there and I had to take a step back cuz I was getting so excited about it cuz I was.

Like I was almost putting myself in the driver’s seat, like, Ooh, I would enjoy this class. Why would like, this sounds like an exciting major. And I think

part of

[00:25:24] audioMissyStevens21238770779: really hard for me.

[00:25:25] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: cuz I am putting my garbage on her in the fact that I don’t love all the decisions I made about college. I don’t love that. I didn’t put much thought into my college choice.

I mean, I literally, I say that the application was Shorter than filling out a form at a dentist office. It was that quick one college, I went there cuz my brother went there. My my best friend was going there. So good enough. And I also needed a place that I could afford by doing, summer work.

Which University of Idaho? Ding ding ding. At least back in the nineties. It was, I think it’s still, it’s pretty expensive now. but

[00:25:57] audioMissyStevens21238770779: now

[00:25:58] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: I think it is kind of fun to use this process to actually think about though this next phase of our life, whether it may not be empty nesting yet, but maybe you still have a few more kids to go.

But as you’re going through this process with a kid who’s considering college, Do think about maybe those sliding doors, possibilities of not regretting what your life could have been, but what it still can be. And thinking about, you know, you don’t have to be a full-time college student in order to take, some community college classes or to take an online class.

So what kind of recommendations might you have around the moms and how we can use this

[00:26:39] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Yeah. Right. I mean, it is, it is exciting and, and to some degree we’re getting a little bit of our lives. Back right when we’re helping to launch them. Um, what’s unfortunate too is sometimes our parents, also need us more as we’re launching our kids. That kind of sandwich generation thing of, you know, once your kids are kind of heading out, your parents are ailing and, and needing you in different ways, but where do you find yourself in that?

Right, without kind of the guilt of. Of taking care of you. And so, when you mentioned community college and classes, it’s funny, this was one of my things for the end of the interview, but I can mention it now. So, um, about, 10 years ago I started auditing college, a college art history class at my local college.

And, I just found a really large class, um, that had, you know, I. 200 plus students and I looked it up on the directory and when the class was, and I would drive to the campus and park my car and just go sit in the back of the classroom, and it was truly like going to Disneyland. It was like the greatest hour and a half of my life, twice a week because it was just about learning for learning’s sake and just listening and taking in.

Content, which I loved. And um, I did it for a couple years and my kids really teased me. In fact, they bought me a sweatshirt of the name of the college and they told me I should wear a backpack instead of carrying my purse, cuz I looked like an old mom. You know, I needed to dress down. So anyway, I did this class, uh, and then it led to two or three others and it just was, you know, it really enriching.

And then Covid happened and we moved and went to a new location and I really missed it. so just this year I went back to my next local college classroom and, um, audited a class this fall. And now I’m currently doing another. And I will tell you like that’s just for me, what kind of floats my boat and what makes me tick my.

For my birthday, my kids got me, um, golf lessons and my husband got me some golf clubs and, you know, I may pursue a little hobby there to have like kind of an, uh, a different activity. Um, cuz my daughter and and husband really like to golf. So, you know, my, my kind of pursue that.

But I think for all of us it’s, yeah, finding something that brings you fulfillment. For some people it’s walking or writing or, or just any hobby or anything that you can look at and say like, That just feels good to me, and I do think we deserve it. We work hard, right? Like we work hard as parents, we work hard as wives and daughters and, in our careers, but I think we need, we each do need that thing or, or thing.

Sometimes it’s just girlfriends. It’s so great, right? To go on that walk with a girlfriend or go to lunch with that girlfriend or. You know, do something frivolous like getting your nails done with a girlfriend. It’s okay to do that. And we craved it and missed it so much for all those years that now that human connection to me is really, really more important.

But I do think we all have lives that we need to start thinking ahead to that next, and it’s very liberating. I mean, I will say, you know, I’m in my fifties now and. In your fifties. you know, I know there’s podcasts just about this age group and kind of the midlife thing or whatever, I don’t know.

I just, I met Missy a few months ago. We went on a retreat together. That’s how I came to your show. And there’s something that feels really good about being around a lot of women in the same life stage and you just, You just don’t totally care what everyone around you thinks about you. And you’re sort of in this anonymous space where you’re like, I feel pretty good in my skin.

I’ve done the best I can. And if I’m not your thing, that’s okay. Like, move on to the next person. And if I am your thing, great. Let’s talk, let’s connect. I mean, I, I love making new connections and new friends. I think you can learn from people at any stage and at any age of your life. And so I have friends in their seventies.

I have friends in their. Twenties that are, you know, having their first babies. And so, and I consider them friends, not like I’m their mentor or their, I just, I’m an older friend. So those would be some of the things I would think of. And you two ladies are doing a great job creating this podcast together, so that’s a good example.

[00:30:31] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: That’s our MBA

[00:30:32] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Yeah, I mean, it kind of is, kind of is like we doing a different kind of job. Like this is not your traditional kind of job, but we’re doing something new. I don’t know. And I love what you said about auditing. Like I, this is a dumb question. I did not know you could do that. I did not know. You could just walk in

[00:30:50] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Well,

[00:30:51] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: you have to get permission? I wanted to ask who?

[00:30:53] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: So interestingly, the, place where I audited in, where I used to live in Southern California was a, was a big, a really big university. So being anonymous was pretty easy. technically like where I go, where I’m auditing now, I, I did email the professor and ask permission. So there are like actual programs for returning students, but I didn’t wanna.

I honestly didn’t wanna do the reading and didn’t wanna like get graded or anything like that. I just really wanted to just sit and listen. I don’t ask any questions. I just am in the back of a classroom that’s already pretty full. I would say you’ve gotta be careful about, you’re not going to like a seminar, like a 15 person class and like rolling up your sleeves.

But, but I do think that, um, your local community college or you know, it would be like a fine line. I’m not saying anyone should just go sneak in to college classes, but I will say like, You can either get permission from, you know, just send an email to a professor and just say, I’m a local mom and your class really interests me.

Would it be okay? And then you sort of do that. I did it a little backwards and then towards the end of my first class, I got to know the professor and I said like, oh, what are you teaching next? And I’m like, oh, come, here’s this next one. So I sort of became, More friendly with the professor, but I make a a real point that, you know, I am not participating in any way.

I am not, taking any time, even after class, waiting in line to talk to the professor. It’s much more, just a listener and an

[00:32:11] audioMissyStevens21238770779: That would be so bad if you were like, hold on, kids. I got a question.

[00:32:15] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Exactly.

[00:32:15] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: you explain everything you just said to me again?

[00:32:19] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Right.

[00:32:20] audioMissyStevens21238770779: God. That’s awesome. I love it. I love it.

I’m looking at time and we’re so

[00:32:26] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: I know, but I really wanna hear the last question.

[00:32:29] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Um, so

[00:32:30] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: fast?

[00:32:31] audioMissyStevens21238770779: yeah. Yeah.

[00:32:32] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Ask.

[00:32:34] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Well, before we jump into our look, listen and learns, tell people where they can find you. Can they work with you? What, how do they bring you to their place of business?

What, what

[00:32:44] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: please bring me, I love going to schools. I love going to businesses. I love going to organizations. I can do it through Zoom. I can get on a plane now, which is great. Um, I’m happy to come to Texas anytime so, or Idaho, wherever I, you’re Texas.

[00:32:58] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Yeah, we’re both in Texas. I just grew up in

[00:33:00] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Um, but in any event, um, you can go to any social media location basically at, Parent Compass is the one on Instagram, the Parent Compass is on Facebook.

we’re on LinkedIn under our name Cynthia Menik and Jen Curtis. It’s there. And I think we have, our website is parent compass book.com, which is where you can communicate with us really on any of those, um, platforms, to just. find out about our availability and things like that. But yes, speaking for businesses, organizations, schools.

I speak to parents, I speak to teens, I speak to nonprofits. I speak to whoever will listen, and I usually bring books with me, so that’s kind of fun too.

[00:33:35] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Well, speaking of the book, I’m gonna give one last plug before we get into the luck Listen and learns, because it’s something that the whole podcast is about. But I think it’s a great discussion to have with kids and think about ourselves is your get to know yourself questionnaire. So, because you need to go by the book y’all, uh, instead of just us talking too much about it.

Just, I think that anybody who follows this podcast, I think would get a lot. Out of that. So we’re just gonna have that little teaser there.

[00:34:03] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Thank you. Well, there’s, there’s an audio book for those who do audio and I’ve gotten messages from audio readers saying, I love reading the book, but can you send me the, the questionnaire because I listened to it, but I can’t write it down.

[00:34:14] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh yes. I’m an audiobook person, but I for specifically for books like yours, I do, do I need to like take notes and highlight

[00:34:23] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Yeah, it’s a fun book. I loved seeing that Missy has all sorts of tabs and

[00:34:27] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh, yes. Yes.

[00:34:28] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Yeah, saving all this information to remind myself the next time I have a tiny meltdown. Like I had a tiny meltdown a week ago that took me completely by surprise and it was, I didn’t have this meltdown too, or with my child. I was by myself, but I was like, I just, I was just, it caught me completely out of nowhere.

I expected we were gonna go on this visit and be like, that was great. That was one of our visits, and somehow I left there and fell apart. It was just like I, I didn’t see my kid there, but my kids saw himself there and I had to like work myself through the, it doesn’t matter where I see him matters, where he sees himself and

[00:35:07] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Right.

[00:35:08] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: I know.

[00:35:09] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Yeah. It’s hard to separate yourself. I’ve done two sets of college tours with my daughter pretty recently, and the same thing happened, and one of the universities we visited on the East coast I thought was great because they separated the parents and students on the tour. So there was a parent tour and a student tour.

I thought that was not, I mean, I know it takes resources and time. I thought that was a pretty good idea. So that like, If your kid can experience it and ask the questions they wanna ask as like a young person just surrounded by young people without the parent ears listening. And then the parents could ask the questions that might embarrass their kids if they wanted to.

But, um, anyway, I thought that was pretty interesting. So, I don’t know. It might double

[00:35:43] audioMissyStevens21238770779: think that’s a great idea

[00:35:44] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: or you could just go at a different time from your kid. I know it’s not as convenient, but

[00:35:48] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Yeah.

[00:35:49] audioMissyStevens21238770779: I have been told, I joke with him all the time, I’m like, I have so many questions. And he is like, do not ask them on this tour.

[00:35:55] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Yes. No, I’ve, I’ve been on tours with that mom and I’m like, just stop it even

[00:36:02] audioMissyStevens21238770779: We were just on one with that mom. And I was like,

[00:36:04] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: well hand that mom, the parent compass, because the. Parent Compass is for that parent, right? So it’s not always the people that read it, that are the people that need it, and we’re trying to like, you know, help and people say, you can read the book in a weekend and on Monday you can start implementing some of these things and seeing what works for you.

So we hope it’s making the world a little bit of a better place in a small way.

[00:36:27] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Yes,

[00:36:28] audioMissyStevens21238770779: my, that’s my new thing. I’m gonna get a couple extra copies and I’m gonna keep ’em in my bag. And when I’m on a tour, I’m just gonna be like, you need this? Maybe just, here you go.

[00:36:37] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: We have a lot of, we have a lot of therapists who have started keeping the books in their counseling sessions, like in their offices, which is really neat cuz then, you know, you just, just read this.

[00:36:47] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Uhhuh.

[00:36:47] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: my God, I love that they’re gonna put themselves out of a job. Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, okay, so we know where to find you and, oh, I’m so excited for everybody who has access to this book and access to you that I did not a year ago, but, uh, I got one more kid that I can use more information for.

So,

[00:37:08] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Thanks,

[00:37:09] audioMissyStevens21238770779: There’s more kids coming and it makes me excited for the process and it makes me feel more confident that I’m not gonna screw it up. So thank you.

[00:37:17] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: but no.

[00:37:18] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: I’m glad.

[00:37:18] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: And it’s such great information cuz we do focus primarily on moms making the most of their ellipses. And this is very unusual for us to be focusing on something that’s so kid related. But I think it is so intertwined and it, it’s very hard to make your ellipses count when you are so invested in your children’s ellipses during that period.

So it’s just nice to give yourself a little space and also use the process to maybe do some thinking about yourself.

[00:37:45] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Yeah. Well, good. I’m glad it was helpful and what you two ladies are doing and the information that you’re bringing out there in this podcast is really equally valuable, because that ellipses is something we don’t always focus on. And so I just, I love your questions. I love how thoughtful you’ve been.

It’s been such a pleasure to, to spend some time with you.

So everyone out there, I hope they’ll keep listening to your show too. I’ll keep tooting your horn.

[00:38:06] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Thank

[00:38:07] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Well, and you’re not done yet. We’re doing our look,

listen and learns too. So yeah, we’re gonna jump into our look, listen and learns. And if

[00:38:12] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: I’m ready.

[00:38:13] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: anybody’s new here at the end of each show, we just spend a couple minutes talking about things that we are, look, listen, and learning. So, that could be something that we’re reading, watching, or learning about.

We don’t like to put our guests in the hot seat, so I’m gonna have miss go first. Missy, what do you look? Listen, learning.

[00:38:28] audioMissyStevens21238770779: let’s see. Oh, I love, I usually make notes so that I don’t forget what I’m gonna talk about. And I just saw that I started a note and.

[00:38:36] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: And then he forgot.

[00:38:37] audioMissyStevens21238770779: that’ll be a surprise to all of us as it comes back to me. But, um, I am looking at maps of the Midwest because we just planned a whirlwind trip to four schools that my son is interested in.

So we’re gonna hit four in three days with a little bonus stop at Notre Dame. We, that’s not on his list, but we’re gonna be right there and I’ve never been there, so I feel like I would love to see it. so yeah, I’ve been looking at a lot of maps, like trying to figure out how many hours from here to here, should we fly in here and out of there, you know, like just

[00:39:05] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh my gosh,

[00:39:05] audioMissyStevens21238770779: doing all the things and trying to keep my son, like, make him be the boss of it.

That’s tricky. That is really tricky because he’s busy this week. He has prom on his mind and I’m like, we have to get this booked. Like, we have to just take one break. Like, are these places on your list, you know? Anyway, it’s actually been fun. I like to do the travel planning part of it. So, and I am listening to something that ties back to what you were talking about, about friends and relationships and how important that is to our ellipses.

While you were talking about it, I was like, Ooh, that completely is my look, listen, learn. So I’ve been listening to a slight change of plans with Maya Shanker, um, one of my favorite podcasts. I talk about it if you’re a regular listener. You’ve heard me talk about that podcast. But, the most recent episode is the Science of Making Friends.

And it’s fascinating and her guest is really great and they’re having, it’s just a super fun conversation. But, you know, I love science backed brain stuff. Talking about how we make our friends, keep our friends and friendship breakups and the proper attention you should give to a friendship breakup.

It’s really interesting.

[00:40:13] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: I’m writing that down.

[00:40:14] audioMissyStevens21238770779: yeah, and we’ll put it in the show notes because it’s a good one. And then, um, yeah, I’m learning a lot this week. But the thing I think I was making my note about was, we talked about it a lot in this episode actually, is learning to separate myself from this process. So I’m making these, I’m looking at these maps and I’m making these plans.

They’re not for me, it’s for him. And I don’t have a poker face like I mentioned earlier in the show. And so I’m really learning that. I have a long way to go basically. So, Last week maybe when I had my meltdown, that was upsetting to me. And now it’s kind of exciting, I have an opportunity to shepherd him through this in a, in a decent way and in a nice way.

So I’m kind of excited.

[00:40:57] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: can

[00:40:57] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Good for you.

[00:40:58] audioMissyStevens21238770779: All right. Well that’s me. What are you up to, Cindy? What are your look, listen and learns.

[00:41:01] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: So I wrote them down because I knew it was gonna be asked. So my listen is, I listen nonstop to Broadway show tunes. I am like a, I just love soundtracks. So right now I’m listening on nonstop to the Broadway show, something Rotten because my daughter is in, it’s a funny Shakespearean musical. Um, and my daughter’s opening night was last night.

So I. Three more shows this weekend and four next weekend. I’m seeing all eight shows

[00:41:27] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh my

[00:41:28] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Oh, you’re a good mom.

[00:41:29] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: to the lyrics in the car. It’s been so much fun. Um, so that’s one. Listen, I love the other, listen I love is I was on a road trip with my high school senior cause I do a mother. Child trip as their graduation gift, they get to pick a destination and we go just the two of us.

So he chose Utah. We went to Bryce, Zion and arches and he’s does photography. We took tons of pictures and we hiked in the snow and climbed a little bit and got in our 10,000 steps a day, and it was magnificent. So if you have not done these national parks, go, go, go as fast as you can. But while there, we had a lot of car time.

We did about 1500 miles in five days. So while he plugged in, I plugged in to Anne patches, the Dutch House, and

[00:42:15] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh

[00:42:15] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Hanks narrated nine hours of a book for me. And when I tell you if you haven’t read this book yet, it’s I, I, it was on my TPR R list for a long time. It’s just very special and very wonderful.

And Tom Hanks, I just was in love with him at the end of my nine hours.

[00:42:31] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: I know that was such a fun surprise to have him. When I started the book, I was like, wait a minute.

[00:42:37] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Right. It’s just, yeah, that’s one of the first audiobooks I’ve actually ever done. Cause I like turning pages, so it was really, really special. And then learning, I mentioned my auditing, my class, and I mentioned my golf that I might be listening, but I wanted to tell you something I discovered about 10 years ago on a girls trip.

And it changed my life. And you’re gonna laugh. I am not a salesperson for Revlon. But I brought them to show you. If you’re watching the YouTube, you can see it. It is called Revlon Revlon Kiss. They’re about five bucks. They come in grape, strawberry, cherry, and peach. And I keep them everywhere. And all they do is put a little tint, just a little tint on your lips.

And they have a little flavor, kind of like those Bonnie Bell lip

[00:43:21] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Yes, that’s what I was just thinking of.

[00:43:24] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: 25. And for 10 years I have not worn lipstick because I just wear, I just wear these.

[00:43:31] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: I love

[00:43:31] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: do two of them. So for

[00:43:33] audioMissyStevens21238770779: am going to order them right now.

[00:43:35] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: RiteAid or CVS or whatever. Pharmacy in Revlon.

Kiss my girlfriend, we went on a girlfriend’s trip and everyone brought their favorite thing to share with the girlfriends. So she brought like five and gave them out and someone else brought their favorite kind of underwear and someone else brought their favorite, you know, salad kit or whatever it was.

So we shared our favorite things. So when you asked that question, I was like, I’ve gotta share the Revlon kiss, because I’ve spent a lot of money on them. They last forever, and they smell good. And you can keep one in the car and one in your backpack and whatever. So get those and then I think that’s it, right?

oh, binging. Ted Lasso, of course, I’m catching up on Ted Lasso and shrinking, and I just got this gift yesterday, so I’m just starting it. It’s called Well Rested Every Day. I love the title and it’s 365 Rituals, recipes, and Reflections for Radical Peace and Renewal. You might wanna interview her, Jolene Hart.

I don’t know her, but a friend sent me this for my birthday and it’s, I’m gonna read one a day for the next 365 days. I’m gonna leave it in the bathroom cuz I think that’s a good place to get one page a day. Um, and that’s where I tell people to put my college essay book. I wrote a college essay book. I’m like, leave it in the bathroom for your teens and they can read one essay every day.

[00:44:45] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh my God. I love that. That’s

[00:44:47] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: I know that took longer than anticipated, but I had a lot to share and I love the questions. So thank you for asking

[00:44:52] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh my gosh. That

[00:44:54] audioMissyStevens21238770779: That is a brilliant idea for a girls trip to everybody. Bring your favorite

[00:44:57] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Yes.

[00:44:58] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: great. Yeah. And then we also brought, um, I brought five journals and I gave everyone a little journal, and this was very funny. I made everybody write in the journal, every boy they’ve ever kissed their whole life.

[00:45:07] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh my gosh.

[00:45:08] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Some people only had one page, but some were like every boy. I’m like, every boy.

So it was just a

[00:45:14] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Oh,

[00:45:15] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: I might only.

[00:45:16] audioMissyStevens21238770779: write like that guy that one night

[00:45:17] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:45:18] audioMissyStevens21238770779: that one

[00:45:19] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: I know. I

was

[00:45:20] audioMissyStevens21238770779: like,

[00:45:20] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: it sounds, it was silly. It was after, you know, a little glass of wine and just a fun, silly activity. And then I think everyone like talked about which one was the best or who knows, you know, it was

[00:45:29] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: oh

[00:45:30] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: a fun activity,

[00:45:31] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: I think I only have one page also,

[00:45:33] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: could be one page.

[00:45:34] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: but a couple might be like, what is his name? Uh,

[00:45:37] audioMissyStevens21238770779: I know for sure. I’m like, I don’t know that guy’s name.

[00:45:40] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: with that view, you think I’d remember all their names?

[00:45:43] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: that’s, that’s funny.

[00:45:45] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh my goodness.

[00:45:46] audioMissyStevens21238770779: awesome. All right, Susanne, what are you doing this week?

[00:45:49] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Okay, well this is such a bad idea, but whenever Chris is out of town, I watch like my really like shameful tv. It’s so I’ve, and he refuses to watch this for so many reasons, but it is on theme with the podcast today. it’s that Hulu show about, oh gosh, I think it’s like Lost Youth or something.

It’s the Sarah Lawrence cult where the dad moves into the dorms.

[00:46:15] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Oh God,

[00:46:16] audioMissyStevens21238770779: know anything about this. What is this?

[00:46:18] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh,

it’s like stolen, stolen youth. I think stolen, God, I’m not very

[00:46:23] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: man, like brainwashed. It was weird. A like a father figure moved into like a college dorm, like brainwashed. The women in the dorm and they became like slaves and it was very weird.

[00:46:34] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: it was like a sex cult slash cult slash Yeah, and it was a, it is true. This guy just got like 50 years in jail

[00:46:42] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Really disturbing. Really disturbing.

[00:46:45] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Yeah. Sarah Lawrence.

[00:46:47] audioMissyStevens21238770779: this.

[00:46:48] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: yeah.

[00:46:48] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: I know. And so Chris, for very many

[00:46:51] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: I went with Love is Blind when my husband wasn’t around cause it’s so fluffy and silly

[00:46:56] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh, I should probably do that maybe after I’m, I’ve only got

[00:47:00] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: That might be less disturbing.

[00:47:01] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh,

[00:47:01] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Yeah. Less, mostly less disturbing. I don’t know. Leva, ISS blind is kind of disturbing

[00:47:06] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Kinda disturbing in its own way

[00:47:08] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: It’s like signs to watch for. I’ll give to Zoe if, if any of your roommates wants to invite her dad to live there,

[00:47:15] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: to come stay.

[00:47:16] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Yeah. No dads, no dads in the

[00:47:18] audioMissyStevens21238770779: No dad’s in the dorms. No

[00:47:19] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: I think, uh, I thought it was in a dorm. Cause I was like, that’s weird. Wouldn’t the RA kick them out? I think they had their own apartment, is what I’m getting out of the thing.

So not that that makes it better in any way,

So there’s that. But, okay. On a better, well kind of better note. I was just listening to as I was walking all the dogs. Um, we can do hard things, of course. Um, and Michelle Zonner, Zonner Zonner, who is the singer guitarist for the band, Japanese Breakfast,

who Zoe likes.

And, uh, we’ve listened to at a c l a couple times. I guess she’s also the author of this new book. I’d heard of the book. I didn’t know that she was the author crying in H Mart.

[00:48:01] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Oh, that’s supposed to be great.

[00:48:02] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Yeah, so it’s all a,

[00:48:04] audioMissyStevens21238770779: all coming back to me. Yes. I have red crying in H Mart. I’m like, why is this all familiar? If I was stucked back here though, but

[00:48:10] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: noodles on the cover? Yeah, that looks I, that’s supposed to be great.

[00:48:14] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: And it’s all about the relationship and the dynamic between her and her parents, and especially her mother who passed and just trying to, understand all the dynamics of that relationship now that she’s getting older. And you know, it’s so, it is very, very interesting part of me at the beginning, I was like, Ooh, this will be a really fun podcast to send to Zoe.

I was like, No, I think this is one just to keep more for myself cuz it’s maybe in like 20 years it’ll be a good one to send to Zoe, but it is very much. If I sent it to her, it’d be very much like, see what a good mom I am. Cause it’s, cause it’s talking about how she learns to appreciate her mom. You know, as she gets older and older and all the things, the bad and the good, she’s still gonna appreciate them.

And so at the, I was like, no, this is very much just trying to pat moms on the back, but if, if you need to feel a little padded on the back and that your kids will appreciate you someday. it sounds like that’ll be a good book. I’ve not read the book yet, um, but this episode. It is the April 26th episode of We Can Do Hard Things.

[00:49:18] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: I was just gonna add that, that title, you, we could do hard things. I’m just gonna, just, this could be almost a good little concluding remark, but the idea that, um, Jen, my co-author, tells a story in the book about a student she worked with for many years who really, um, really had it together like was just.

A kid that just kind of seemed to embrace school and embrace his social life and embrace, you know, but not, not off the rails. Just a kid that was like really admirable and Jen had young children and you know, you look at some of these teens and you go, how do they grow up to be like this? You know? So she said at the very end of working with this young woman, we write about her in the book.

Um, she asked her, what do you think your parents did to help like foster you to turn out this way? And without a blink of an eye in a, just right back at Chen, she said, they made me do hard things.

[00:50:04] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Oh.

[00:50:05] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: And Jen said that just stuck with her because she had to be resourceful and her parents watched her, you know, they were there to support her, but they didn’t do it for her.

And that was so gratifying and rewarding for this young woman that she. was so capable because her parents let her do hard things to, take care of herself too. So I thought that was interesting and I think that’s great. What a great topic for a podcast and, and title as well, but something we can maybe think about in our parenting of teens too.

[00:50:37] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Yeah, it’s so hard to make them do the hard stuff, like

[00:50:41] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: you tie their shoes forever and

[00:50:43] audioMissyStevens21238770779: right then. They’re never gonna tie their shoes.

[00:50:45] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: how are they gonna, they’re gonna, can’t live in Velcro shoes forever. You

[00:50:49] audioMissyStevens21238770779: No. Oh my gosh. Don’t you remember like being like, I need an extra 20 minutes to leave the house, cuz I’m gonna have to stand at the back door while they make bunny ears and f up the loop and like, like

[00:51:02] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Start to cry.

[00:51:04] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: days.

[00:51:04] audioMissyStevens21238770779: And then get, I do it myself. But you can’t

[00:51:08] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Although my son does wear a scoliosis brace now, so occasionally I’m just like, this does not count that I am tying your shoes. I am not your servant.

[00:51:18] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Yeah.

[00:51:20] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: bad

[00:51:20] audioMissyStevens21238770779: just sweet momming.

[00:51:21] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: That’s just Yes.

[00:51:22] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Ah, well, Cindy, thank you. Thank you.

[00:51:24] audioCynthiaMuchnick11238770779: Thank you ladies so much. This has just been, so my tank is full. I’m so glad I had this special time with you. I hope that the thoughts we shared, will help others too. So you’re both doing great. Follow your parent compass and um, thank you so much again.

[00:51:39] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: Thank you for

[00:51:40] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Thank you.

Yeah, yeah.

[00:51:43] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: All

right,

[00:51:44] audioMissyStevens21238770779: have a great rest of your

[00:51:45] audioSusanneKernsshe_31238770779: all right. Bye-Bye.

[00:51:47] audioMissyStevens21238770779: Bye.

Thank you so much for joining us for the Mom and dot.dot podcast. We hope you enjoyed today’s show. And if you know someone else who could benefit from the episode, please be sure and share it with them. And while we’re begging, please subscribe and rate us wherever it is you listen to podcasts. You can find links to all the things we discussed today in our show notes or over at our website, mom and podcast.com with the a n d spelled out.

In between shows, find us over at the socials, including our private mom and community Facebook group. The links to that group, man, all of our socials can be found@mommanpodcast.com. Thank you so much for your support. We appreciate you more than you know. Now. Go out there and make your ellipses count.

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May 4, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 118 / Guest: Sarah Hart-Unger, MDSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:Do new pens and a fresh, new planner make your heart sing? Us, too! We had a fantastic, planner-nerd discussion with this week’s guest, Sarah Hart-Unger, MD. Part-time pediatric endocrinologist, part-time podcaster, full-time parent, blogger, runner, and… more. Talk about making her ellipses count!

Sarah had wise advice on how to manage time, especially for those of us who may have more than one job that demands our attention. We learned so much from her, and were inspired to figure out what works for us and what doesn’t when it comes to organizing the calendars, lists, goals, and more that fill our heads all day, every day.

Topics From This Episode:* Time management * Running * Nested goals * Goal tracker Susanne mentioned (that Jess Lahey uses) * Quintiles vs. Quarters * Handling unexpected demands on our time * Planning tools * Planners * Pens * Jetpens.com * Campus planner from Kokuyo (available here and on Amazon) * Pilot Juice Up (Sarah loves the 0.4 in black) * Links to all things planner: Planner Lovers, Start Here (on Sarah’s home page) * Also check out Sarah’s show notes for Best Laid Plans – links to products and more * Custom Canva templates for planners (Susanne has one for Campus) * Dutch & Deckle (the heavy but gorgeous planner for anyone who doesn’t need to carry it with them) * Blogging * Time suckers, like social media or checking email

Look, Listen, Learn Susanne

Barry
Birnam Wood by Eleanor Catton
Bunny by Mona Awad
Selena Gomez

Sarah

Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld
Bad Sisters
Running Coach

Missy

Single Drunk Female, season 2
The Breakfast Club
The Pink Stuff
Writing a 250-word book pitch

More About Sarah Hart-Unger:Sarah Hart-Unger is a pediatric endocrinologist, a mom of three, a blogger, and has not one, but TWO podcasts on these topics. You can find her blogging daily at TheShuBox.com, on her podcast Best Laid Plans, and as a co-host with Laura Vanderkam (our guest on episode 105) on Best of Both Worlds.

Connect with Sarah Hart-Unger:* shubox.com * Best Laid Plans Live (link also takes you to Best Laid Plans Academy, currently sold out)

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

[00:00:00] Susanne:

. Welcome to the mom and dot.dot podcast. I’m Susanne Kerns mom and dot.dot writer, lgbtq and sex ed advocate. And today I am a gutter guard researcher cuz the excitement never ends with the Kern’s house.

[00:00:41] Missy: That’s right, and I’m Missy Stevens mom and dot.dot writer, foster child advocate. In this week, I am also living the homeowner dream. Susanne. I’m cleaning windows and washing pollen off of everything.

[00:00:52] Susanne: Wow, the, are you doing it yourself?

[00:00:55] Missy: A lot of it myself. Yeah, just a little bit at a time.

[00:00:58] Susanne: I think we have the windows that technically we’re supposed to be able to like flip inside so you don’t have to like go up to the second floor. But we have this really amazing lady called Gwendolyn. It’s like Gwen, or she’s Gwendolyn, but she turned it into Gwen and I love her

[00:01:13] Missy: I may need to call Quinlin.

[00:01:15] Susanne: Well, she only does it when we’re selling a house, but someday, someday I’ll clean a house that I’m gonna live in.

Oh. But this week we are so excited to have Sarah Hart Onger on this show, and Sarah really makes her ellipses count. So she’s a doctor, a pediatric endocrinologist to be specific. Uh, mom of three, a blogger who actually. Right on a daily basis we’re gonna talk about that. That’s just blows my mind and has not only one, but two podcasts.

And yeah, you can find her blogging literally daily at the shoebox, S H U B O x.com and on her pod podcast, best Laid Plans. And also she does a podcast with Laura Vanderkam, who we had on for episode 105, who helped us get our acts together with time tracking. Even though she said not to be filled with shame, I’m filled with shame by what?

What came out of those. But we are so excited to have Sarah here, so welcome.

[00:02:15] Missy: Welcome.

[00:02:16] Sarah: you. I’m so excited to be here.

[00:02:19] Missy: Well, we are really glad you’re here, and we learned a little bit about you and all the amazing things you do in your bio, but we’re wondering if you could give us a Sarah 1 0 1 where you just talk about where your career started and any pivots that led to where you are today.

[00:02:31] Sarah: Sure. So, well, I guess I’m gonna start with the blog so I’m a physician and I started writing. the blog, which was not called the Shoebox at the time, it had a really lame name called like Lost and All Alone because I was 24 at the time, and

[00:02:47] Susanne: I used to be the dusty parachute. You don’t need to explain.

[00:02:50] Missy: Yeah. I used to be Wonder Friend. Yeah.

[00:02:53] Sarah: And, I wrote in that through most of finishing med school all through residency and fellowship, and, started work as a full-time pediatric endocrinologist, in my current home in South Florida. But there was like something missing in my career. I was doing it full-time then I think I was doing it at like 80% time because at that point I had had my second kid, um, by the way, somewhere in there, I had my first kid in 2012.

I had a lot of struggles to get pregnant. So I kind of learned in the, infertility space, for a little while. then had my second went part-time, but I still just like thought there was something missing. So I ended up going into residency education and so I spent part of my career at that point actually building a residency program from scratch.

I was the associate program director for a while. Then I was a program director for a while. I’ve had like all these iterations and then covid happened. I, oh geez, kind of had like an inner reckoning with like what I really wanted to do and I love working with residents, but I did not love. Feeling like I had to please people in like all different sides and manage different people’s expectations, which is what a kind of mid-level leadership position is.

And I decided, you know what, let me try to like take this podcast thing that I’d really been doing in some form or other for like years at this point, and make it part of my like actual job. Step down from the leadership part, keep the clinical part. And so for the last. Six months, I have been 60% time, all clinical.

So on Monday, Wednesday, Fridays I see patients. I had my third kid somewhere in there. Sorry, I didn’t mean to gloss over her, but, um,

they’re now five, nine, And 11. And then I do the podcasting and blogging work kind of. Like the rest of the time. And it is such a fun combination and I’m really, really loving it.

I also am a runner, so I guess you can add that in my dot, dot dot. I used to run marathons, but my last one was in 2009. However, I’ve been like bitten by that bug again and I’m, I’m finding my old marathon desiring self. So,

[00:04:45] Susanne: Oh

[00:04:46] Sarah: I feel like that’s a part, big part of my identity these days too, as well.

And sometimes I even blog about it. but yeah, all this stuff mixed up. I feel like my life is a weird misma, but it, it is a lot of fun.

[00:04:57] Susanne: Oh, it sounds amazing, and I should have had my dot.dot b that I survived. The cap 10 K. I never gave my update. I had run a half marathon in. February?

[00:05:09] Missy: February?

[00:05:10] Susanne: not run since then and then had the cap 10 K last week, no, two weekends ago. And I’ve had

[00:05:18] Sarah: hadn’t run

[00:05:19] Susanne: had not run, had

[00:05:20] Sarah: my

goodness.

[00:05:21] Susanne: Barely even had gone for extensive walks.

And I’ve had dreams like this before where it’s like the next day you’re like, oh, I have to run the half marathon. Oh no, I haven’t done anything. And I did it. I lived the nightmare of just like, well, I guess just come to see what happens to my body. And I survived. It was not pretty, but. I had a better pace than the half marathon though, which made me kind of sad, but

[00:05:43] Missy: that’s crazy.

[00:05:44] Susanne: Yeah. Running does, when I am actually actively training can become part of your identity and that dot, dot, dot. Especially if you’re doing on a regular basis, but, okay, so we had Laura on a couple months ago and she really got us into the time tracking and thinking about time management and. I know that obviously since you share a podcast with her, you’re into that too.

So I wanna talk about how you manage that time, then around the podcast, around the running, around the family. And even though your job is 60%, we all know what a woman’s 60% is. That’s like

[00:06:20] Missy: It’s 110.

[00:06:21] Susanne: Yeah. You’re, you’re doing,

[00:06:23] Sarah: I’m gonna push back at that

slightly

[00:06:25] Susanne: you doing

[00:06:25] Sarah: that I have become pretty passionate on. if I’m signing up for 60%, which means my paycheck is 60%, I’m gonna be a hundred percent there on the days that I’m there. But then on the days that I’m not there, I’m 0%. And thankfully I’m in a profession where that does work.

I have others, you know, covering on those days, and I’m largely outpatient anyway. And. Most questions can wait one day. and that’s actually why I chose Monday, Wednesday, Friday rather than like compressing the days. I didn’t want people, like if something happened on Wednesday, I didn’t want someone to have to wait all the way until the next Monday to hear from me.

Right. But, um, I do believe that we should try to work on if, if we’ve chosen to go part-time, making sure that, I think that’s really, really important. How, I don’t think part-time is for everyone and I think full-time can be awesome. And um, in that case though, I think it’s important to make sure. That you’re doing a hundred percent and not 120% because you need time left for yourself.

So I’m not an avid time tracker. I’m actually doing it right now. I try to do it like for a week or two, every quintile and I can talk about what I consider a quintile. But basically I divide the year into five pieces. And um, like this year I was like, okay, every quintile, I wanna try to track my time for like a week or two just to get my bearings.

But I do not like Laura have a. decade long streak of accounting for every minute because, I find it pretty difficult. I, I guess I just don’t get that granular and sometimes, I mean, you know, you can just get lost and stuff and you’re like, I don’t know what happened. I mean, I think that happens the worst when you’re engaging in a lot of mindless screen time and I’ve cut a lot of that out, so that’s become a lot better.

But still, there’s like time with your kids, or just time, you’re like doing stuff that’s social and I don’t, it’s hard to like, Exactly quantify it sometimes. I mean, it’s doable, but I don’t enjoy doing it all the time, so I do. I spot check my time. What I do a lot of, and I’m very passionate about, is planning my time.

So every single day I start the day with a plan, and I have that plan by looking at what I have going on that week, looking at what I have. This also requires planning, but thought about what I might do that week and then putting those things together with my emotional state and my energy and like setting aside, okay, well then what is today actually going to contain?

Making a realistic to-do list, which is something that a lot of people struggle with. That I try to help them learn how to not put 75 things on a daily to-do list and then, um, kind of write out my schedule for the day. I love to like, Mark off little habits throughout the day. It doesn’t mean that I’m a hundred percent on doing them every day, but I like to set little goals for myself and I actually love to plan on paper.

So like each day as I decide on my lists and I decide on my schedule, I’ll kind of make little boxes for my habits and then I go about it. Always feel, not always, but generally feeling like. I don’t know. Each day I have on my plate what is manageable because I’ve decided what I’m going to put there. I feel like I am very aware of where the more free time buckets are and I think the one time I still struggle with sometimes this evenings just cause I think I run out of energy, but I actually think I, in some ways, by being aware of this, I learned to respect my own rhythms a little better anyway.

And like I wouldn’t plan to do a bunch of work at 8:00 PM because I know it wouldn’t end well.

[00:09:34] Susanne: Yeah. Now, so, okay, so you’re Habit Tracker. I’ve seen a few, and actually I’ve tried to customize one for myself. That was like a, it’s like a sheet and it just has like 30 of whatever the habits you are and you can go boom, boom, boom, boom. Or are you picking at the, during the morning being like, okay, I know where I am today and I know I’m not gonna do. X, Y, Z of those habits. So do you cherry pick then and then put them on your daily planner from

that

[00:09:57] Sarah: so there are so many different ways to track habits and there is no one right way. Yes. Some people love to have like a yearly grid. In fact, one of the planners that I love, the Ho Boni, has this cool annual planning page where you could put like 10 habits and put like a dot fridge habit, like. Every single day.

And that’s super cool. But I don’t do that at all. I, I tend to like, prefer to almost feeling like I’m starting fresh every day. If I felt like I was filling in a list, if I had two days that were bad, I’d be like, Ugh, God, why am I doing this?

[00:10:24] Susanne: Oh, what’s that one? Jess Le He has,

[00:10:26] Sarah: oh, she might have like a right every day or like,

[00:10:29] Susanne: it’s, it’s like a glorious I’m, it might be wooden or something, and

[00:10:33] Sarah: cool.

[00:10:34] Susanne: you poop the button for each of the days. I’ll have to get a picture of it. It’s really intense, but it is. You pick the one habit you’re gonna do and then you, yeah. You poop it every day.

[00:10:43] Sarah: That is super cool, but I, that, that doesn’t fit my sensibilities.

Um, I actually just like to write this little rectangle on my daily page, and there’s a little, I write m. O R, a little music note and a D and those stand for meditate. Go outside, read, listen to some kind of music and do duo lingo. I don’t know why, but currently I’m sure they’ll change.

That’s actually been like my five like habits on the habit tracker for a long time. I. But at some point, I’m sure I’ll subtract something or add something or whatever. I always kind of think about that at the start of year. Do I still wanna include those? I also work out, so I usually have like a little spot for like what my run or or exercise is for the day, but that’s like separate from my little mini habits and I just do it for the day.

I, I, I’ve gone through different planners where I’m like, oh, I’m gonna, you know, track this long term, but I don’t feel like I need that. I would rather. Just have every day be an opportunity to like see how many of those I can get and then the next day I get to start over again and see how many of them I can get.

Um, for me it just works better that way.

[00:11:40] Susanne: love that. Just having the little

[00:11:41] Sarah: like, I don’t ever add it up and say like, I did it 272 times. Like, I don’t care.

[00:11:46] Missy: It’s just a reminder.

[00:11:47] Sarah: Yes.

[00:11:48] Missy: Yeah. Well, you talked about, I wanna hear about the Quintiles I assume you reevaluate your goals and priorities, each of those quintiles. So like how do you go about figuring out what it’s going to be when you have so many things you’re doing every day?

[00:12:03] Sarah: So I, I almost wish I could like, share a screen right now, but that probably wouldn’t work and I could share my nested goals. Okay. Let me talk about those two things separately. If I was gonna trademark one thing, I don’t actually know how to trademark anything, but if I did, it would be Quintiles, because I did kind of make it up and I see people using it and I’m like, they didn’t even put my name on it.

Like,

[00:12:21] Susanne: Yes, you should.

[00:12:24] Sarah: No, I’m just kidding. Go ahead and use it. But I divide the year into five because the traditional quarters did not make sense to me. I have school-aged children. I have a five year old, a nine year old, and 11 year old. So I’m gonna be in the school age phase for like, Forever, basically.

And so, you know, going from January to April, April to July, like, what’s July in the middle of our summer. I live in South Florida, so like, you know, summer starts like basically in May. So I, I don’t know. So I decided it made more sense to do, like January 1st has to be a cut point, cuz I love January 1st and it’s just, I like it.

I know it’s arbitrary. Yeah. But I like it. So January 1st to spring break? Spring break till the end of the school year. All of summer. The beginning of school until November 1st. Why November 1st? Because I feel November and December feel kind of special. Um, like they have Thanksgiving, they have holidays.

They’re, there’s so many celebrations and you’re doing lots and lots of reflecting until the next, like thinking about the next year. Yeah. I call it reflection season. So I, I ca some people are like, well, Quint, quintile four, just be like, School to the end of the year, but like our school starts in mid August, so that would make that quintile really

[00:13:23] Missy: Really

[00:13:23] Sarah: I just feel like that fall, winter is, is set apart. So those are my five quintiles. And the way I approach goals, actually, I guess I take it back. If I was gonna trademark two things, it’d be that and then what I call the nested goal system, which is that basically there you, you wanna have like hierarchies of goals in your life.

Here’s what I don’t recommend doing, sitting down on January 1st and being like, here’s my quintile one goals here. My, here’s my quintile two goals here. No, no, no, no, no. You’re gonna make a list of. Annual goals and things you really wanna prioritize for that year, like things you’re excited about, things you wanna move forward in your career.

And it’s not gonna get like super, super specific. I mean, there may be some specific things you wanna do, but like thinking about the big things that at the end of the year you’d be really happy to get done. But then as you’re going into a new quintile and yes. The beginning of the quintile is also the beginning of a quintile is the beginning of the year.

But like, let’s think about quintile two, you’re going into the spring quintile. You go back to that year list and you go, okay, now I’m gonna make my quintile two goals. Cuz now I see what we have going on the next few months I see what I feel like. But I have this menu of things that I thought were important for this year.

What belongs, what should I pull from this like bigger bowl? Into this smaller bowl? And like I think of it as like nested kind of like Russian nesting dolls or something like that. And that’s. Where I came up with that, but like, okay, what am I gonna pull into those quintile goals? And then actually you can do that kind of level by level.

So when the month starts, let’s say it’s May, which is almost May as we’re recording this, I don’t know when it’s airing. For me, that’s like the second month of quintile two. I’m like, okay, what do I wanna get done in May? Well, I can look back at the goals I made for the quintile, which of these kind of fit in this incredibly busy month of May.

Probably like one thing because it’s May and et cetera, et cetera. And you can even do that down to the week and down to the day. And I do have like a weekly planning session where I look at what I wanted to do that month. I look at what’s on the schedule for this week. I kind of think of the flavor of where we are in the year and how I feel like if I’m sick, I’m not gonna plan a bunch of things and I think about what I wanna do that week, and that is how I would decide what I want to do each day.

Obviously lots of stuff just gets plopped on the calendar. That’s what I call like the hard landscape. You kind of have to work around that when you’re working towards the more nebulous goals, but it’s combining of both of them that allow you to get done what needs to get done, but also make sure you’re incorporating those things that you’d like want to do to move those big things forward.

So that is my, in a nutshell, the the goal setting system that I use.

[00:15:40] Susanne: I love

that. Getting away from that. The regular schedule we call our new year, like when school starts, that’s our new year because it really is, it’s like Jan, January 1st is special in the sense that, you know, the, the year is starting, but for most moms with kids who are in school, like your new year? Yes.

[00:15:57] Sarah: Quintile four. It’s a big one. Yes.

[00:16:00] Missy: yeah, yeah. this is a little bit of a bunny trail aside, but while I was listening to you talk, I was thinking you were talking about that hard scape of things that just get plopped on the calendar. What happens when things just come at you and I. I am thinking about that particularly today because a couple things popped up in my life today, and I’m like, I really have to take care of that right now.

It’s not something I could even felt like I could say, no, that’s not on my schedule today. That was not on my list today. But then it messed up like the whole rest of my day. So what do you do? Do you have a method for that or do you just roll with it?

[00:16:32] Sarah: Well, two things. When did you find out about those things this morning?

Like, okay. So it would’ve been after you planned out what you were gonna do in a day? Yeah. Then you got a triage. I mean, listen, I got kids, they get sick. Stuff happens at work. Like somebody you know, shows up at 4 59 with like a sick kid and I’m like, oh my God, I was supposed to go home.

Like, so stuff is gonna happen. And I also think like we have to, this is a list that. We’re hoping to get done. It probably shouldn’t have like 20 things on it. It’s gonna have a few things and hopefully none of the things were so emergent that they couldn’t wait until the next day. So hopefully stuff is not popping up like crazy stuff every single day.

If it is, you might wanna look at whether there are some areas in your life where. Could you predict some of these things like, you know, by doing a weekly calendar audit with less things be surprising. Now. I was late to this interview. I messed up your day today. So, you know, sometimes stuff is just gonna happen and I’m so sorry about that.

But, you know, to some things you can’t control like that. Like, but you can know, you know, sometimes podcast guests are unpredictable. So like, if I hadn’t shown today, nice to have some idea in the hopper to like use for next week’s episode, et cetera. So like some things you can kind of get ahead of by thinking about what might go wrong.

There’s a limit to that. You don’t wanna go crazy thinking of worst case scenario of everything. Um, but also just being kind to yourself when stuff happens. If there’s a house emergency, you kind of think about like, okay. Those things are not going to happen, but it looks like, you know, next Tuesday looks okay, so let me actually make a note and earmark and see if I can keep next Tuesday morning clear so I can catch up on those things.

That might be a way that you handle it.

[00:18:05] Susanne: I think it’s a really good reminder to just be kind to yourself.

[00:18:09] Missy: Right,

[00:18:09] Sarah: is gonna happen a hundred percent.

[00:18:11] Susanne: Yes. And you’re very, very human. Well now, okay, so speaking of keeping ourselves organized, your solo podcast, best Laid Plans is like, so our happy place, like I actually, you should get commissioned for, is it jet pens or whatever.

I think you led me to that dark. It’s a dark, cheerful place. It’s dark because it’s where all my money goes, but it’s my happy place, for everything. Planners, pens, highlighters, everything. But, oh, here’s my, I’ve talked about this on the podcast before, but I am in love with my campus. It’s this spiral notebook, and I think you’ve talked about this on your podcast too,

[00:18:51] Sarah: That’s by Coyo and the rings open up, right? They’re like the little opening rings. That’s beautiful. I think I have a, I have a one that’s very similar, but my daughter wants the campus one, and I am, I’m. Super into it.

[00:19:03] Susanne: I am so into it cuz I, after doing so many different planners that just weren’t working for me and it’s what I realized what I wanted was just a spiral notebook. That’s what I used to use for work and I used to have like hundreds of them by the end of the year. But that was how I was used to doing things.

I like things that can flop over, can be shoved in a bag but I also like the rearrange ability. Of things which you can’t obviously do as most spiral notebooks. I love, love, love, love this thinging, which is where I found that there. and then I also just ordered a five pack of the, what did you just say?

Your favorite. You lost one of your pens the other day?

[00:19:37] Sarah: um, the pilot, um, juice up.

[00:19:39] Missy: pass.

[00:19:41] Susanne: I just ordered the five pack and it’s being delivered today and

[00:19:44] Sarah: Yeah. We had like a household crisis when I lost. My only pilot juice up, now they’re like $3. But it was like, oh my God, I never found it, by the way. I still dunno where it went,

but, um, now I I I also bought myself like a five or six pack or something. So I feel, I feel really good now.

[00:19:59] Missy: Yeah. I

hide them. And the problem is occasionally I hide them for myself, but I hide them where nobody is going to look because if they see a pin, they’ll take a pin.

[00:20:10] Susanne: Yes. Well, I’m notorious for stealing pens anyway from restaurants. Oh my gosh. Every time we go to my son’s physical therapist, he grabs one of the pens. It’s a, it’s become a joke now, that poor woman. Oh. But anyway. Okay, so you have seen, and you are familiar with probably every pen, every planner, everything available, and I’m sure it probably even changes from season to season.

Quintile or quintile about what is gonna meet your needs. But if you were gonna be, stranded on a desert island with only one pen and only one notebook right now, what would it be?

[00:20:44] Sarah: Ugh, that is hard.

Um,

[00:20:47] Susanne: Pick your favorite child.

[00:20:48] Sarah: Only one pen would probably be the pilot juice up in 0.4 with black ink, with the runner up being the Pentel gel CNA 0.4. Um, one notebook. That is rough. So not even like, wow. Um, can I have a planner in a notebook?

[00:21:05] Susanne: Yes, you can bring a planner and a notebook.

[00:21:07] Sarah: Awesome. Okay. Well then my planner would be some kind of vertical weekly planner.

Maybe a ham lock and oak, maybe the sterling ink, one of those. Okay. And then my notebook would be, what I’m currently using is my notebook, which is actually histology notebook that is just a plain grid paper with a very. Subtle timeline down the left, and I’m currently loving it because it can be just a blank page as a journal.

It can be kind of turned into a daily planning page. I like the paper actually more than the HoChi paper.

Um, it’s still, yeah, I know. I, it’s still very, thin and light, so there’s a little bit of like show through but not bleed through, but like show through.

Um. But it’s not a smudgy, like it absorbs a little bit better.

And like, you know, if you listen to vessel plans, my, my pet peeves, I’m a left-hander, I drag my hand down the page and I really don’t like an ugly smudged page. So the fact that I can use gel pens on this like fine Japanese paper without messing it up, ugh. I love it. It, it feels so great with that pen as well.

And it works really well with mild liners. just a great. Great paper and various like affordable. You can even get them on Amazon if you don’t wanna use jet pens.

[00:22:16] Susanne: And I just found, as I was looking for this spiral notebook, we have, it’s kind of a toy store. It’s a very much like a Japanese theme store, so very, like they have the pluses and the toys and all kinds of stuff, but they also have a stationary section. I know. And it’s like less than a mile from my house.

It’s so dangerous. Every time I drive by I’m like, Ooh, how could I go in there?

Okay. When you’re talking about horizontal planner, just for anybody who’s listening on the podcast, I’m sorry, vertical. So what? What does that look like? If you’re

[00:22:45] Sarah: Yeah, I prefer for my weekly layout. Now there’s, there’s. If you use an electronic calendar like Google Calendar and that is your source of truth for like what’s happening in your life, great. You might not need a vertical layout, but for me, I actually have my paper email source of truth. So I really like to be able to like see the week laid out so I can kind of see the spaces and I feel like vertical is the best for that.

Usually with some kind of hourly markings along the side, it’s almost like I can turn it into a paper, Google Calendar. Best, even if there’s extra space in addition to the hours where I can put some weekly things. So often if the, if the hours go all the way to midnight, I can repurpose those evening hours when I’d be asleep anyway and put like the kids’ activities, what we’re making for dinner.

I kind of put them in their own horizontal row. I’ve been planning with that kind of a weekly layout for a long time, and I don’t see that changing unless I ever move to more electronic, but I doubt it.

[00:23:40] Susanne: So do you

[00:23:41] Sarah: So yeah, I

like that.

[00:23:42] Susanne: do you have a Google calendar at all? Cuz that’s how my husband. And I like do dibs on time. Like if we want, if we wanna do a book club or a, he goes to one of his writer groups or whatever, like we gotta do dibs on the Google calendar to whoever gets that night. And so how do you

[00:23:57] Missy: Yeah, that’s how we do

family

share.

[00:23:59] Sarah: So my husband uses a Google Calendar sort of. I mean, I don’t know how much he actually references it, but he has it. And so if there’s an activity that I think he needs to know about in the evening, I do. Make an invite. I, I have it. And so I, and I’ll send him and then I’ll invite him. But, so I use Google Calendar and like generally, I don’t mess up the invites like I did today.

I’m like reasonably good at it, but my paper calendar is my source of truth. So how do you know about an event that goes through your Google Calendar? Well, you get emailed about it. And so in my mind, I’m not like saying yes to anything until I’ve looked at that email and I do clear my email out to inbox zero.

So I’m not gonna miss anything that I’m

getting

invited to. And write it into my paper calendar. It sounds laborious. It is fully not. I am a very efficient person.

[00:24:41] Susanne: I need to look at my inbox right now.

My,

[00:24:43] Missy: look. Don’t look.

[00:24:45] Susanne: let me see here.

[00:24:46] Missy: I am an inbox zero girl too. If there’s a red number, it makes my heart

[00:24:51] Susanne: I think mine’s around. Oh 10,697.

[00:24:57] Missy: Unread.

[00:24:58] Sarah: Well, you know what you’re allowed to do and you have that many is you’re allowed to just. Keep the first two pages and just archive everything else, and you’ll

[00:25:05] Susanne: my gosh. Because

[00:25:06] Missy: Yeah. My chest is a little tight right now, Susanne.

[00:25:09] Susanne: but I keep it as a diary. Like I, I was just writing a letter where I had to refer back to, whoa, oh, when did I start on the board of Carrying Hope? And so I just go search for carrying Hope and

[00:25:18] Sarah: can

also search for every single email. It just goes into archives.

It’s not

gone. I just

[00:25:23] Susanne: that’s Okay.

[00:25:24] Missy: Yeah. That’s what I do with them too.

[00:25:26] Susanne: Now I feel shame again.

No kidding.

[00:25:27] Missy: So have a, I have the dumbest question. I know there’s not supposed to be any dumb questions, but this is dumb, but I’m fixated on it, and maybe there’s somebody else out there who feels like I do. So I. When my calendars are on paper, the, the issue that I have run into is things change and you have to move things and things pop up, and then it gets messy and I can’t handle it when it’s messy.

So how do you handle that? What’s your strategy?

[00:25:53] Sarah: You’re gonna laugh. Okay. So when that happened to an extreme degree, like 2020, I was like, I’m getting a new planner. I cannot look at all these things crossed off. This is so depressing. Like everything is crossed off literally another week. Another fun thing crossed off like I couldn’t, I got a new, I got a brand new fresh planner and I do actually sometimes replace, I, I would say I switch planners every few months, so that helps a little bit.

That is my own personal twi. Quirk. I don’t necessarily recommend that, but the other thing I do is I’ll use a sticky note or I’ll just put a line through something. I’ll put a sticker on top and write the new thing. I’m not afraid to just put a X and put it like a triangle. That means like changed. So, oh, and you use frictions.

I don’t

[00:26:32] Missy: I have the

[00:26:33] Susanne: Real well I don’t love the writing

of, but I sure love the way you can erase them. I

[00:26:39] Sarah: For me, it’s not worth the trade off in writing, which is why. Again, pilot juice up, but I, I get the appeal. I do, and in fact, it might be nice to have those to use just for things that I’m not sure about. But my current practice is if something’s a little tentative, I do, I have tiny little cute sticky notes from jet pens, so I just write down the sticky note, put the sticky note in the planner.

They don’t fall out. And then if it doesn’t happen,

rip it off.

[00:27:00] Missy: gone.

What you said, that frees me more than anything that has ever freed me before, is that. You, this is like a life-changing moment I’m having here. you get a new planner, I get so hung up. So I’ve bought this planner. I’m gonna use it for the year. It’s gonna be my record of 2023, and then it doesn’t go well and it gets messy and I’m upset.

I’m gonna get a new planner, like

[00:27:22] Sarah: Planners. I mean, some of them are not cheap. Some of them, like a really luxe planner might be $60 or even like $80 for air condron. But there are also plenty of excellent planners to be had underneath the $20. Price point, which is like the price of lunch these days. I mean, not really, but almost. So if it’s something you look at every day and it’s bothering you, I say it’s worth, it’s worth moving on.

And I don’t change day legs, that would be a total pain. But, um, I’ve already changed what it’s, it’s, it’s wor we’re headed into May. I’m on my second planner. 2023. That’s okay. My second weekly planner.

[00:27:54] Susanne: yeah. I feel like I turned my planners into some type of archeology thing where I’ve, same thing where I wanted to look up in my email. I’ve, I have planners from. Decades ago where I still have them. Like do you throw ’em away? Do you just toss

[00:28:08] Sarah: I do, I keep a few. So I like to be able to say like, oh look, I have like my plan ever, like when have my first baby and I was tracking pumping, like I almost feel like one every five to 10 years is like the sweet spot. But I go through a lot of them and I am a thrower outer in general. So I just.

[00:28:26] Missy: Mm-hmm.

[00:28:27] Sarah: Recycle a lot of my planners, which I know it’s like sort of sac list, but it’s also freeing, right?

Because then it’s also like these are to be used and enjoyed while I have them. I’m not making a craft. Like

it’s, it’s okay if, if I had to cross everything off cuz either I can move on or I can just turn the page and I don’t need to keep it. And it’s, no, it’s not permanent,

it’s transient.

[00:28:48] Susanne: That’s true. Well, I’ve been enjoying customizing cuz I get the paper then that goes with my campus and then you can make whatever you want in Canva and then you just print ’em out and you just shove them in there. So I have fully customized, and I even have it built in with my little time tracker like, yes.

[00:29:05] Sarah: That’s awesome.

[00:29:06] Missy: That’s what I think I’m doing next.

[00:29:08] Sarah: Are you printing it onto like the quality paper, like koku paper? Like Oh, and it prints well on

[00:29:14] Susanne: Yeah, it prints really nicely.

[00:29:17] Sarah: I love that. I hadn’t heard of that.

[00:29:18] Susanne: oh yeah, I’ve got it all set up in the canvas so that, you know it’s offset on each side to accommodate the spiral. And Yes. And then if I don’t like the format, I just take those pages out and I, I start fresh.

[00:29:31] Missy: Make a new one.

[00:29:32] Susanne: Yes, I am. I’m, that’s why I love this thing.

It’s, it’s very accommodating to my whims and my failures.

[00:29:38] Sarah: I’m into that. You have to send me a picture of your, of your template.

[00:29:41] Susanne: I

[00:29:42] Missy: think if we can figure out how to share your template and if you’re willing to do that, we should put that like in show notes and in our group.

[00:29:48] Susanne: I would be happy to. And then you all have to go buy this really expensive B five sized spiral notebook to make it work.

[00:29:57] Missy: I think that’s what I’m buying next cuz my current planner’s not working for me.

[00:30:00] Susanne: It’s not. He had such high hopes.

[00:30:03] Missy: I, thought it was going to change my life, but turns out you can’t. Like I, I’m in charge of that, right? Like the planner can’t do that. Uh, but it’s too heavy is really the problem with it. It’s beautiful

[00:30:15] Sarah: What are you using? Which one is it?

[00:30:17] Missy: I don’t wanna say

it’s a Dutch, it’s a Dutch and Deckle, and it’s.

[00:30:21] Sarah: Oh, I haven’t heard of that.

[00:30:23] Missy: Beautiful. And you can kind of customize when you order it. And it’s the most lovely book. And it sits on my desk, on my blotter, on my desk. And it looks beautiful, but it weighs a lot. And so I don’t carry it around with me, and that’s the problem.

[00:30:36] Susanne: Hmm.

[00:30:37] Sarah: Form over function. It’s a

hard battle.

[00:30:39] Missy: Yep, So I’ve thought I might leave it on my desk and still use it to do some planning, but I need, I need the thing that I carry with me.

[00:30:46] Susanne: Huh. Okay.

[00:30:48] Missy: So think about that. If you order Dutch and Decel, you don’t have to order them by the year, which is what I did. You can order for a few months at a time or even less maybe, and then they don’t weigh a thousand pounds. So think about that.

[00:31:01] Susanne: Oh,

[00:31:01] Sarah: soon as we’re off, I’m Googling them. They sound fascinating.

[00:31:04] Susanne: the spiral

notebook. I

mean, yeah, I think that’s part of it is just because we are never sure exactly what we’re gonna want and I think every single planner we’ve ever bought, we have been a hundred percent sure was gonna like change her

life. But to Missy’s point, I think there’s a lot more things we need to work through

[00:31:23] Missy: An

[00:31:24] Susanne: in ourselves.

[00:31:25] Missy: clump of paper cannot change me.

[00:31:27] Sarah: I mean, a planner can be a tool when you feel like you’re starting fresh, it can give you a little bit of energy. It’s not gonna last for months and months on end, especially if it’s not a good fit or you’re trying to like make it work when it doesn’t really. and I know that’s why I sometimes like to switch.

I, somebody asked me like to design my dream planner and I had so much fun, like thinking about what I would include if I was like starting from scratch. And one thing that I thought would be cool would be like a little booklet for the daily part that you could like throw out each quintile, like start fresh,

[00:31:59] Missy: yes.

[00:32:00] Sarah: just build in that element so that you’re, you get to start something new every few months and kind of have that fresh, clean energy even if you’re not replacing the whole thing.

[00:32:08] Susanne: Yes,

[00:32:09] Missy: you can kind of do with yours, Susanne, you could kind of do that.

[00:32:11] Susanne: I know, and I have a million times, I have reformatted this like a bunch of different times and I, I really do think I’m getting there. I’m gonna patent it as soon as I get there. But then again, it is so individual and I do think it is, it’s just a process of learning. What works for you and maybe trying, you know what I have also found, get on one of those Buy nothing groups, the Facebook groups in your

neighborhood or whatever, because towards about March, there seems to be a lot of people who are deciding that theirs did not work for them.

Arrange like a neighborhood swap. Like, okay, everybody, one street to the left, let’s exchange planner. See if the next one works. but another thing, talk about really great habits and being organized. The fact that you are committed to a daily writing practice

like is just so epic to me. I think I’ve only met one other writer and we’ve been in the blogging community for. Going on a decade now, and I think everybody’s like, oh, if I get one once a month, mine’s probably once a year. I cannot even imagine. I can’t remember the last time I wrote something on my blog. So is that something that you consciously set out and like, this is a goal, I’m gonna do this every day, or is it something that just helps you shake the dust off?

Like what? What is that?

[00:33:23] Sarah: I mean, first I do miss days sometimes, so it’s not like I have like an unbroken. My blog has been around since 2004. Wouldn’t it be great if I had like an unbroken 20 year streak? I do. Not. A hundred percent. I do not. Um, but I love writing. I love writing a post. I. Process things. I think about things. I never, no, not never, now I’m gonna jinx myself, but I almost never sit down and I’m like, I don’t have anything to say.

I don’t plan any of my posts in advance. The only thing I can say I do is that I do always post my workouts lately on Sunday. Like my, what my runs were that week. And I tend to do something called five on a Friday. But then the contents of five and a Friday are like any five random things. So it’s not even like that’s anything.

And otherwise I just write whatever is in my head. And it’s very interesting, like every once in a while I’ll have. Some I’m like passionate impassion thing that just like comes out and I had no plan to do it and it took me 20 minutes and then I either get like a hundreds, well not a hundred, but like a whole bunch of supportive content comments or every back in the covid years I might write something and get a lot of people were in moods back then.

[00:34:23] Missy: People were in moods.

[00:34:25] Sarah: It’s funny cuz I’m, I’m like, but I just sat down and for 15 minutes to write this like I did, I wasn’t, you know, I’m not like

writing a journal article. I I’m thinking I’m processing exactly.

[00:34:34] Susanne: Oh my gosh.

[00:34:35] Sarah: and so it, and I just love doing it. Obviously I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t love doing it. I don’t get much out of the blog.

Like, I mean, I have ads on my site, actually. I have more ads than I wanna have. All of a sudden they like doubled and I don’t understand what happened, but trying to figure it out. Um, but it’s not like the blog is like a lucrative venture. It’s just, I love doing it. I love the audience. I love the fact that some people have been reading my writing for like so many years.

I mean, that’s, Just cool and amazing, and I don’t know if I’ll ever stop writing like I might be writing when I’m 80

[00:35:08] Susanne: I’m so glad you do. And I, I do think actually we’re seeing a move back. Um, cuz Facebook took that away. Well, didn’t take it away. We gave it to Facebook and that Okay. The things that we used to write over here, these blog posts about, now we’re doing either longform, Facebook or sharing pictures there, whatever the case may be.

They’re monetizing that they’re taking our stuff and I just, part of me, if I ever have like a. Uninterrupted month. I just wanna go back through Facebook and like take every single post and like own it. Like take that back.

[00:35:39] Sarah: Yeah,

I get it. I quit. I. I. never felt like I was soul bearing on. I mean, I, I don’t know. I never used social media in that way. And even when I tried to, like, I’d make a page, I’d like never go to it. Like I, I’ve always liked going to my own thing. And I did quit Facebook in 2016. I quit Instagram in 2021. two of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

I’m never joining another social media. I mean, the closest thing I get to social media is Strava, which is like a running app and it almost feels too much like social media to me.

[00:36:08] Missy: Oh wow.

[00:36:09] Sarah: But I have mindset to like, I don’t follow that many people and I have mindset to private, so it’s not crazy.

[00:36:14] Missy: Do you have a thing that is like a guilty pleasure time suck? That I think for a lot of us is social media. Like, do you have a thing?

[00:36:23] Sarah: I have a thing that I don’t like that I do, which is if I get really stressed, I, I like just start checking stuff. Like I’ll just check email and I’ll check what’s up and I’ll check email again, and then I’ll check my text and then I’ll text somebody and then I’ll. Check my email like, so I feel like that’s the only thing left.

And every once in a while I go to Reddit, like I don’t really post ever, but I’ll like look at the threads and mostly the threads I look at are like stationary related and I don’t really find it to be terrible. But then, I don’t know, it sort of has some of the same compare. What I like better about Reddit is nobody’s trying to be a Reddit star.

So people are not like selling themselves in the way that. Everyone started to on Instagram, so I do like that it’s, it’s like more back in the heyday of like looking at a prodigy blend board or something like that. Okay. I just dated myself so bad. I was born in 1980. I, yeah, that was my first exposure to the internet in like the late eighties or early nineties or whatever.

But, um, I still don’t love when I do it, so I actually try really hard not to do it. I, I look at my, I keep my screen time widget, like on my front of my phone. I forget what blog I’d learned that from. Maybe Grateful k I forget. But I was like, great idea. And I try to keep it under like a hundred minutes a day, which sounds like a lot, but a lot of it’s just like, let’s check the weather, let’s.

pull up my text. Okay. I got a WhatsApp. Or like, I’m using Google Map. So it’s n it’s actually not a lot of like actual scrolling time or anything. Um, yeah, those are, that’s my, that’s really what’s left. Hopefully I can get rid of that.

[00:37:47] Susanne: Yeah. I mean it all is that little dopamine hit

of like, whoa, did something show up? Ooh, did something show up?

[00:37:53] Sarah: Yeah, that’s the checking. It’s such a slot machine. It’s like, Ooh, I got a happy, I’m in a bad mood. And three days ago I got a really cool email. So let’s see if one might magically pop up.

[00:38:03] Susanne: You know what I was thinking about that? I was thinking

about that so much yesterday that I actually had a dream that I won a slot machine and it was really exciting, but it all came out in nickels and it was like a thousand dollars.

[00:38:18] Missy: Okay. Matt

[00:38:19] Sarah: I wouldn’t turn down a thousand dollars in nickels.

[00:38:21] Susanne: It’s just a lot of

buckets.

[00:38:23] Sarah: nickels. Yeah,

[00:38:24] Missy: a lot of buckets. They can go to the bank just like anything else.

[00:38:27] Susanne: Oh my gosh. Oh, I could seriously talk to you for a week about all the things that would get my life organized, and I’m sure a lot of our listeners could do. And I love the fact of, you know, bringing humanity back to things. The fact you’re doing the blog posts, the fact that social media is not like your place where you’re connecting with people and.

Taking that to the extreme and doing your, uh, best laid plans academy where you actually get to see people in their actual faces in human contact. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

[00:38:58] Sarah: Well, you say human context. So I have two things that I’m doing. So I’m doing best Way Plants Academy, which is I’m now like midway through my second round of it, and it’s basically a seven. I don’t wanna say lecture, but like seven meeting series where we go through all the different horizons of planning from annual to daily and then all the stuff in between.

And it’s kinda like classroom size and I teach it, but then people also ask questions. And then there’s a lot of like interactive time. Like I’ll say like, okay, in the next five minutes I want you to identify where all your inboxes are so that we can like then delve into it, like whatever. So I’m trying to take people from like, I’m not sure I like my system to, okay, I have a really good system that I’m confident in.

I know where my goals are. I. I feel like I’ve had a thoughtful structure to how I plan my time. So that’s my goal at the end of Bustley Plans Academy. I think I’m doing pretty well. It’s been really, really fun. It’s very interactive and people enjoy the accountability and like supportive atmosphere, so that’s been great.

I’ve done two rounds. I’m not sure running, I think I’m gonna open my third round up probably like. Quin four. So like back to school, kind of like that timeframe. Um, but I only opened those up like one at a time. And then I decided that with all this zooming that what was missing for my life was like live, like I wanted to meet people and see them and I was like, this is the worst business decision ever, but I’m gonna do a live retreat.

So, So I booked a hotel, and we’re doing it. And so there’s best laid plans. Live is in November in Fort Lauderdale. You can get information on my website if you want, and I’m gonna take people through like planning their next year. So it’s, um, two nights and like you’ll come and we’ll have like some fun sessions, like, we’ll, you know, the first night’s like a social kind of like happy hour type party.

And then during the day I’m gonna actually take you through it. They’re gonna be like, oh, special workbook. And you’re gonna get your own little notebook. And then we’ll talk about like your priorities for the next year. And I’ll just like, Help people will plan together. So I am so, so excited for that.

And, um, it’s, it’s not full, but it’s getting there. And, um, yeah, so if you’re interested, check it out. And I’m, it’s, it’s, it’s like a crazy idea. cuz I’m learning like it’s a lot riskier and harder to put something together in person than it is on Zoom. Zoom. There’s like all these structures and like apps almost.

But

when you’re doing something live, like. I don’t know. It’s harder, but I, I think it’s gonna be so fun and I hope

it goes well cause then I can do more.

[00:41:14] Susanne: I think it’s a wonderful idea. Yes.

[00:41:16] Missy: Yeah, I do too. And I hope, I hope everybody goes and signs up and maybe Susanne and I need to go sign

[00:41:22] Susanne: I know

[00:41:23] Sarah: Laura’s coming. Laura has registered as a participant

[00:41:27] Missy: awesome.

[00:41:28] Sarah: Lens Live and I’m like, that is very nice of you. She’s like, no, I actually wanna go. And

[00:41:31] Susanne: Yeah. Cuz she really needs to get her shit together.

[00:41:34] Sarah: I think she just wants to be away from her kids so she can plan in peace, and I’m providing the venue for that to happen,

[00:41:40] Susanne: That is amazing.

[00:41:42] Missy: I mean, that is a gift to yourself for sure, that you, and you’re going into that busy season of life already with some structure around what that first quintile is gonna look like for

[00:41:53] Sarah: Exactly. That’s why I did it in November and not in January. I could see the logic for doing it in January and honestly, our weather is better in January than it is in November. But, um, I thought, you know, people wanna plan before so you can hit the ground running in the new year. But we’ll see. Maybe in the future, depending on feedback, the the one for the year after might be, might be January.

We’ll see.

[00:42:14] Missy: Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, our time has gone well way too fast. But before we jump to our look, listen and learns, tell our listeners where they can find all of this information and find you, and we will put it in our show notes as well.

[00:42:26] Sarah: Yeah, the easiest place is just go to the shoebox.com, T H E S H U, which are my initials, B O x.com, and you’ll find links to the podcasts, or you can find best laid plans on any podcast platform or best of both worlds with Laura Vanderkam and me on any podcast platform as well.

[00:42:44] Missy: Awesome. Okay. We’ll put

[00:42:46] Sarah: for me on social media. I’m just kidding.

[00:42:48] Missy: and.

[00:42:49] Susanne: I know I followed you on Instagram. I was like, this is a, an old picture.

[00:42:54] Sarah: I have an Insta that still exists because I wanted to, if people were searching for me, I wanted them to be able to find my other stuff and I left my old stuff up, but I think I put like basically an away message. I’m like, I’m not here.

[00:43:03] Susanne: Yes.

[00:43:05] Missy: Yeah. You’re not gonna get new

[00:43:06] Susanne: it.

[00:43:07] Sarah: Yeah.

[00:43:08] Missy: All right, well, if anybody is new to the podcast today, we are so glad you’re here. And every week we do a look, listen, and learn segment. And it’s just a few minutes talking about things we might be reading, watching, discovering new products. Sometimes it’s silly, sometimes it’s serious, and we hate to put our guests in the hot seat.

So, Susanne, you’re going first this week. What are you? Look, listening, learning.

[00:43:30] Susanne: Let’s see. So I am looking at Barry, bill Hader. Have you, do you watch this show? Oh my gosh, he’s okay. So I fell in love with him as Stefan on SN L, and he is just amazing on anything on SN l, the fact that he has. The range to go from that to this killer for hire, just this sociopath murderer, is just crazy.

And then, oh

[00:44:01] Missy: He’s so good. You kind of forget He’s a murderer.

[00:44:03] Susanne: know and you really pull for him,

[00:44:05] Missy: Yeah.

[00:44:06] Susanne: but, and they also, I know your favorite, the Fons is on there. Of course, Henry Winkler is amazing. And then this, uh, oh, I don’t know the actor’s name who plays NoHo. Hank

favorite. Oh my gosh. They’re all just such talented actors. I think this is the, this is the final season, right?

Am I making that up? Final season. It’s so dark and it’s so like the last episode, I don’t think I exhaled. The whole episode

[00:44:32] Missy: I’m, I’m not caught up, so

[00:44:34] Susanne: Yeah, but it’s, but it’s back. It’s back. The season just started last week, a couple weeks ago. So, yeah, watching that, I am listening to, I’ve got two books and I, I’m gonna pull the KJ mantra and not like, speak too much of them, cuz I did not like them so much.

[00:44:52] Missy: Yep.

[00:44:53] Susanne: but Burnham Wood is a very interesting concept. but super wackadoo ending. but I can’t explain why it’s wackadoo or else I’m just gonna ruin everything. And then I also just, listened to a book called Bunny, which I do not. Even though eventually I had to start listening to it at like one and a half speed, cuz I’m like, I don’t think it’s going to get better. I think here’s the thing, it’s so like bizarre and conceptual that I, I was thinking like, oh this is a dumb book. How’s this lady so smart? And she like is a teacher, it’s somewhere fancy, but I think if I would’ve been listening to Fight Club, like Reading Fight Club or one of these movies or whatever, I think would just be really bizarre if you’re like, I don’t, I don’t get it.

It’s weird. And it’s kind of that it’s very dark, kind of mean girls.

What’s the one where all the girls were like, Heather’s?

[00:45:50] Missy: Oh yeah.

[00:45:51] Susanne: Kind of Heather’s a little witches of eastwick, but not the humor part. Um, it’s just, it’s about a bunch of, it’s like group of five women who are in an MFA writing program. At a school, which I’m guessing is meant to be brown, because that’s where the author did her mfa

and they keep on talking about New England, but it’s a group of four, these bunnies who are like the cool girls, and then the one who’s the outcast, and it just starts like, oh, this is interesting, these dynamics or whatever.

And then it just, it’s crazy off the rails. Nut nuts. Like I can’t even, again, I can’t even

[00:46:30] Missy: I’m curious, like I don’t wanna, I might go to the library and get that.

[00:46:34] Susanne: I don’t know. You can’t read at one and a half speed that way. I guess you

[00:46:40] Missy: It’s true. I can just,

[00:46:42] Susanne: But is the book is the book for my fancy book club? so I’m very curious to, I went and read on Amazon cuz it’s like, is it just me? Cuz this is like what the fourth book that I’m like, I don’t know. I don’t like this book.

And I’m thinking maybe I just have low. Class reading habits. I dunno.

[00:47:00] Missy: No, but you like what you like and you, you should not be required to like something just because everyone says it’s amazing and I. I occasionally will pick up something that’s won a big award and think, nope, because a lot of times those books are just on a different level and I’m not looking for that.

I’m looking for an escape that is simpler.

[00:47:20] Susanne: All the important people, quote unquote important people have said this, this genius in a work of art and fabulous. So I don’t think I’m gonna like tank her sales by saying that it was not my favorite read. So, so that’s it with the Bunnies and the Burnham Wood. And the other thing I’m finally listening i’s just Selena Gomez instead of Taylor Swift, because

[00:47:41] Missy: Oh, thanks

[00:47:42] Susanne: done with Tay around here besides me, so I’m mixing it up.

[00:47:46] Missy: Awesome.

[00:47:47] Susanne: friend, that’s, I, I just, if I can’t listen to Taylor, I’m gonna listen to her best

[00:47:52] Missy: That’s right. That’s why they was

[00:47:53] Susanne: Well, that’s

me.

[00:47:54] Missy: never finish. All right. That’s you.

[00:47:56] Susanne: What

about you,

Sarah?

[00:47:58] Sarah: Oh, I’m next. I thought maybe you were next. Okay. So, books, I am never like the first one to read something, but I love Curtis Sittenfeld and when I saw she had a new book coming out, she’s the one who wrote prep. She wrote Rodham. She, I’ve like every single. Old book she’s put out. I went on the library hold list and I was like, I’m gonna be first cuz I, I put it like before the book came out and it worked.

Like I got, I didn’t sit on any lists so I already read it. It was so good. I love, I love her work. And it’s about, um, basically a writer on like a fictional version of um, Saturday Night Live that’s called something else. But um, it also is a second book I have read in a row with the plot line of like normal looking woman, seduces very hot star, which is weird cause like, Two books in a, like in a row.

but it’s okay. This one was my favorite one and I thought it was just so well done and the characters were charming and I loved it. So that made, look, I guess, I can give you a TV show too. I’ve been loving bad sisters. I mean, that might not be news to people,

but that’s so

awesome. I’m not done, so like, I won’t spoil anything and you cannot spoil anything.

But

I was sick. I had strep, I caught strep from the kids, which I feel like sounds like a very child illness.

But,

[00:49:02] Susanne: watched it for Covid. It must be,

[00:49:04] Sarah: just lied down and like let, ugh. It was so soothing and like engaging. It was perfect. And then ugh, learn is a little tougher. I guess I’m learning a lot about running, even though I knew a lot about running.

I have a coach, which is like very indulgent cause I’m not like anywhere in a level that would need a coach. It’s

[00:49:24] Missy: No, everybody needs a coach. That’s our

[00:49:26] Sarah: is a coach and I’m in a running group with people who are like faster than me, so I’m always learning new tips and tricks from them. And it’s just fun to just like immerse in that world, just like I would immerse in the world of planners and pens and like, it’s just another thing to get mildly obsessed with, and I think it’s very fun.

[00:49:43] Susanne: Oh,

that’s such a great, I have a, I have a couple friends who they run kind of as a group with a coach, so, but they all do that. And I think, uh, my running’s not to that point, but maybe I could get to that point if I had a. Coach, tell me how to do it right. And maybe if I didn’t try to do 10 Ks after, not running for three months.

[00:50:01] Sarah: I don’t think many coaches would recommend that particulars

training strategy, but you made it

[00:50:05] Missy: No,

[00:50:06] Sarah: You made

[00:50:06] Susanne: I,

[00:50:07] Missy: you survived anyway.

[00:50:09] Susanne: we’ll put work in quotes.

[00:50:12] Missy: I think it’s so admirable that you’re in a group where everybody’s faster than you are, because a lot of people could join that and just be like, oh, I don’t fit

here,

[00:50:20] Sarah: Not everybody is actually, that’s why it’s not scary. Like there’s other people that are very similar. Um, but the, but like the person who started the group is so much faster than I will

[00:50:30] Missy: And it’s a

[00:50:31] Sarah: cool. I love it.

[00:50:32] Missy: Yeah. Such a great way to learn from somebody who’s doing things a little differently.

[00:50:36] Susanne: yes.

[00:50:37] Sarah: Or who has natural talent that I don’t possess?

[00:50:40] Missy: Yeah, some people just are born to run.

[00:50:42] Susanne: Yeah. So they’re born with it. It’s not Maybelline.

[00:50:45] Missy: Yeah,

[00:50:45] Susanne: What about you,

[00:50:46] Missy: yeah. Um, let’s see. I just watched the se um, second season of single Drunk Female, which the first season was a look, listen and learn sometime ago. Uh, I really, really love that show and, um, It got me to watch. I didn’t watch the whole thing, but I went and pulled up the Breakfast Club because Allie Sheie is the mom and single drunk female.

And then Molly Ringwald is a character in the second season. And so I was like, I just kind of wanna go watch the Breakfast Breakfast Club again. So I had one day that was all Addie, Allie Sheie, Molly Ringwald. It was really fun.

Um, and the Breakfast Club is so it’s, I hadn’t watched it in years. It’s so different than what I remembered of it.

Like, I recommend going to watch it again. I can’t decide if I think it holds up, but I think it does. It may be one of the John Hughes movies that holds up the best. Um, still a lot of stereotypes and stuff that we would not deal with today, but it’s still the co like what they’re talking about and what these kids are thinking about is that kind of stuff never ends, family relationships and school and life and that never changes.

[00:51:51] Susanne: Yeah, I’m still mad that they made over ally sheie, though

[00:51:55] Missy: oh, yeah.

so let’s see my learn, well, I have two learns actually. One is silly and one’s a little more serious, but I learned about the pink stuff, which Susanne and I have a group of friends and our friend Leanne brought up that she was cleaning her Dutch oven with it, and I didn’t know you could use it on pots, so I had the pink stuff, had never used

it,

[00:52:16] Susanne: Can you explain what the pink stuff is for people that are not on our text thread?

[00:52:19] Missy: Yeah.

Yeah. So it’s a cleaner and, um, it, it comes in a little tub, a pink tub, and it’s called the pink stuff. And it’s supposed to be so versatile and clean, all these things. So I bought it a, I don’t know, probably three to six months ago. I can’t remember when I bought it. And I thought, well, I’m just gonna clean all these things.

And I had never opened the little tub of cleaner. But then Susanne, I mean, then Leanne mentioned that she used it to clean a pot, and I’m like, I didn’t even know it did that. Which if you read on the side, that’s one of the things it says it’s best for is cleaning pots and pans. So we have our lodge like enamel.

Dutch oven was a little sad looking, so I went after it the other night and it felt so good. So go buy the pink stuff, you can get it on Amazon. and I’m sure many other places too. but it’s great. And it doesn’t smell bad. And it doesn’t feel toxic and it’s just, I don’t know what it is. I have no idea what it is, but it was great.

and then my other learn is I am trying to learn how to make, do a good pitch. For book, I want to enter a contest that’s coming up soon and I have to get my pitch down to 250 words. And, um, yeah,

[00:53:28] Susanne: Are you doing Pitch wars? Is that what it’s called?

[00:53:30] Missy: It’s not pitch wars, it’s with tall poppy writers, but they’re doing a pitch contest that’s open until May 9th.

Well, I’ll post the link to it. Um, and 250 words seems like plenty, and yet it is not enough. Like learning to boil everything down has been hard.

[00:53:48] Susanne: It’ll be so

[00:53:48] Missy: Yeah. Oh gosh. I dunno. Hold me, hold me while I do this.

[00:53:53] Susanne: You can do it. Hey, if I can finish a book proposal in five years, you can do this.

[00:53:59] Missy: Yeah, yeah. Doing it May 9th. No, in five years. May 9th. That’s what I’ve

[00:54:05] Susanne: Oh my goodness.

[00:54:06] Missy: There you go.

[00:54:07] Susanne: my goodness. It’s so much fun. Oh my gosh. I need to listen to this episode like five more times and, and take all the notes. Well, we’ll have all the notes in the show notes for anybody who missed anything as far

as the different planners and papers and pens and all the things.

cuz yeah, you’ve tried ’em all.

[00:54:23] Sarah: I have, well, I don’t, I haven’t tried them all. There are so many. There’s

infinity planners out there. I mean, you would been named one, I didn’t know. Like people. People, you must know them all. Like no, there’s like hundreds literally

of planner brands, but I know a lot of them and I, it’s so fun. So thank you so much for having me.

This was great.

[00:54:39] Susanne: Oh, well

[00:54:40] Missy: It was so

fun

[00:54:41] Susanne: us. Yes, I’m so excited and I will share, I’ll share my one that I designed and then Missy, even though it didn’t work for you. Yeah, let’s definitely share yours so people, cuz who knows it might be the one that fits someone else’s needs

[00:54:53] Missy: Right. And if you have, like, if you don’t have to carry your stuff around with you, it’s perfect.

So some people

[00:54:59] Susanne: you, If you, would just remain stationary at your desk 24 hours a day,

[00:55:04] Missy: or if you’re a lot stronger than I am, maybe I’m just a weenie.

[00:55:08] Susanne: Oh, well thank you again. Really appreciate it and so glad to finally meet you.

[00:55:14] Missy: Have a great afternoon.

[00:55:15] Susanne: Okay, bye-bye.

[00:55:17] Missy: Bye.

The post Favorite Planners, Pens & Organizational Tools appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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April 27, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 117 / Guest: Tara StilesSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:Imagine that you know how to gently move and breathe through your days, allowing yourself to think more clearly and feel better. We’ll give you a minute to picture it.

If your mind’s eye pulls up an image that you want to manifest, Tara Stiles is the woman to help you get there. In this episode we talk about Strala Yoga and about living with more flow. We also spend some time talking about being a mom, running a business, and building a brand.

Topics From This Episode:* Strala Yoga * Tai Chi * Breath work * Functional movement * Career pivots * Building a business (and lessons learned along the way) * Creating a brand * How to incorporate yoga into daily life * Detoxing mind and body * Creating a team that works well together * Finding joy in the work * Parenting and how becoming a mom changes things

Look, Listen, Learn (Speed Round)Missy

You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith

Tara

The Book of Hope by Jane Goodall and Douglas Abrams

Susanne

Researching back braces for scoliosis treatment
National Scoliosis Awareness Month
Scoliosis information for patients and families

More About Tara Stiles:Tara Stiles is the co-founder of Strala Yoga, a best-selling author, and a well-being expert. She revolutionized yoga for millions, transforming a practice so often seen as foreign, dogmatic, and guru-based into an everyday movement that supports ease and well-being.

Strala Yoga is practiced in more than 100 countries. Thousands of Guides lead Strala classes around the globe, and Tara shares daily yoga with thousands of people on the Strala Yoga app. She has been profiled by The New York Times, Times of India, The Times (UK), and featured in most major national and international magazines.

Connect with Tara Stiles:* Tara’s Website * Strala Website * Podcast * App

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Strala Yoga – Yoga For Anyone Who’s Scared of Yoga appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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April 20, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 116 / Guest: Yael SchonbrunSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:This week’s guest, Yael Schonbrun, had a plan for her career and motherhood. Then she became a mother, and it was harder than she’d anticipated. (Is there a mother out there who can’t relate?) At that moment, Yael said she did “a lot of crying and a lot of soul searching.” She also leaned on her background as a clinical psychologist, started researching, and realized that there was a different way to look at the relational aspects of parenthood and career. This episode is packed with science-backed strategies to help you work, parent and thrive.

Topics From This Episode:* Identity crisis * Parenting roles * Unhelpful labels * Acceptance and Commitment Therapy * Unhooking from labels * Recognizing our thoughts * Values * Role models (how do we want to show up for our families?) * Taking the next right step * Resilience * Grit * Behavior changes at any age * Self care * Rest * Self compassion * Speaking kindly to ourselves * Mindfulness * Common humanity * The Happiness Hypothesis * The Righteous Mind * Calm the Elephant technique

Look, Listen, LearnMissy

Pretty Baby – Brooke Shields doc on Hulu
Spanx AirEssentials pants

Yael

Letterkenny on Hulu
Fairy Tale by Stephen King
The Expectation Effect by David Robson

Susanne

The Book of Goose by Yiyun Li
Alone television show, seasons 1-9 on Hulu

More About Yael Schonbrun:Yael Schonbrun is a clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, co-host of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast, author of Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like too Much), and parent of three. Yael’s writing on work, parenting, and relationships has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, among others.

Connect with Yael Schonbrun: Psychologists Off the Clock podcast * Newsletter (new!) – Relational: The Art and Science of Growing Connection*, in conjunction with The Growth Equation * Website * Twitter * LinkedIn

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Work, Parent, Thrive – Science-Backed Strategies for Your Life appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much)

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March 30, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 115 / Guest: Christine WinstonSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:Like many of us, Christine Winston took a couple years off to be the stay-at-home caregiver for her children, and before she knew it a couple years turned into nine years. Some of us are looking at cough… 15+… cough years, so we relate. Christine got involved with Path Forward at its inception, and lucky for us, the organization is now in its seventh year of helping people get back to work after a caregiving break. Whether you’ve been taking care of kids, parents, or even yourself, you can get back to work – and Path Forward is here to help with training and returnships.

Topics From This Episode:* Returnships * Resume writing * Interview skills * LinkedIn * Confidence * Skill building * Transferable skills * Imposter syndrome * Benefits of coaching * Value of returners * Unpaid work that translates to employment * How to make the most of a career break

Look, Listen, LearnMissy

Happy mixes and AI DJs on Spotify
MoeSews sweatshirt

Christine

Pink album and documentary
Pickleball

Susanne

The Mandalorian
Smartless episodes with John Favreau and Keanu Reeves
Getting your child a checking account

More About Christine Winston:Christine Winston is the acting Executive Director of Path Forward, a nonprofit organization helping people return to their careers after time spent caregiving. In the seven years since Path Forward’s founding, the organization has worked with tens of thousands of returners and helped more than 100 employers implement and expand successful return to work programs that create opportunities for traditionally overlooked talent. Having taken a career break to raise her own children, Christine is driven to help others reengage with their careers and find success and fulfillment both at work and at home.

Prior to Path Forward, Christine spent fifteen years in a diverse set of roles across marketing, communications, strategic planning, and finance at JPMorgan Chase, Moviefone, and AOL. She lives in Connecticut with her husband and two sons.

More about Path Forward:Path Forward offers returning professionals the opportunity to restart their careers through returnships. Three Path Forward returners were recently profiled on NBC’s TODAY Show!

Returnships are paid, 16-week, mid-career, return-to-work opportunities open to individuals with at least 5 years of professional experience who have been out of the paid workforce for two or more years for caregiving purposes. Learn more: FAQ.

Connect with Path Forward:* Website * Facebook * Instagram * LinkedIn * Newsletter

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Find Your Path Forward – Resumes, LinkedIn & Returnships, Oh My! appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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April 7, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 114 / Guest: Shavon Saint PreuxSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:Shavon Saint Preux joins us this week to talk about starting something from nothing. Regular listeners know that we are passionate about foster care and about women living fully into their ellipses. Shavon is the ultimate mom &… She’s a business owner, the founder of Saints House, a transitional home for girls aging out of foster care, and a single mom. Shavon shares her story, along with some great insight on self care and running businesses.

Looking for a quick link to the Saints House donation page? Click here!

Topics From This Episode:* Foster care * Starting a business * Advocacy * Immigration * Education * Single parenting * Coaching * Mentorship * Aging out of foster care * Self care * Check out our other episode all about foster care, with the founders of Carrying Hope and Foster Village: https://momandpodcast.com/you-can-give-back-no-matter-how-little-time-you-have/ * Startistry (see our episode with Becky Blades for more about Startistry) * Carrying Hope: Hope’s Home

Look, Listen, LearnMissy

Women Are the Fiercest Creatures by Andrea Dunlop (a Zibby Books publication)
Going on a retreat (or designing one yourself with Jenny Remington’s tips – listen to episode 92!)

Shavon

What to Do Until Love Finds You by Michelle McKinney Hammond
Maverick City Music
Brown Girl Self Care
Blessed + Boss Up
Learning about starting a drop-in resource center for foster youth

Susanne

Binaural beats (just google or search for a playlist on sonos, Spotify, wherever you like to search for that kind of stuff!
Good Life Project episode: Seven Habits to Dramatically Improve Focus
Succession and Yellowjackets are back
Use your privilege to speak up for those who cannot use their own voices

More About Shavon:Shavon was born in Nassau, Bahamas. At the age of seven, Shavon and her family migrated to the United States in pursuit of a better life. Once she and her family made it to the U.S, things got worse before they got better.

Though her trials and tribulations consisted of losing both of her parents, entering foster care, and becoming a teenage mom, Shavon overcame all obstacles and statistics that said she would fail.

Shavon graduated from Florida International University and obtained a Masters’s degree there. Shavon serves as the Founder and Director of Saints House, an organization that provides transitional housing and care coordination to youth who have been impacted by the foster care system. Shavon’s goal is to be a changemaker, helping improve the lives of disadvantaged youth.

Connect with Shavon and Saints House:* Saints House * Saints HouseInstagram * Shavon’s Instagram * Donate or shop the Amazon Wish List

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Stop Waiting for the Right Time to Start ______. Start Today! appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

What to Do Until Love Finds You: The Bestselling Guide to Preparing Yourself for Your Perfect Mate

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March 30, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 113 / Guest: Addie SwartzSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:Addie Swartz has been focused on helping women come back from career breaks since before the concept of a meaningful “career break” was really a thing. Her own career has been closely tied to her life journey, including figuring out how to manage motherhood, maternity leave, and a career (Including starting a company while on maternity leave!).

We talked about the obstacles moms face when making decisions about their careers, and how ReacHIRE came from the desire to facilitate the process of coming back after a break. This discussion is so close to our hearts, and our mission for the Mom &… Podcast. If you’re considering a break, on a break, ready to come back, or just want to know more about any stage of taking a career break, give this one a listen.

Looking for The Definitive Return-to-Work Playbook? Click here!

Topics From This Episode:* Career breaks * Childcare * Maintaining skills * Transferable skills * Maternity leave * Returnships * Return-to-Work mentorship * Working mom struggles * Stay-at-home mom struggles * Career break stigma

Look, Listen, LearnMissy

Good for You by Camille Pagán
Happy mixes on Spotify (hop on Spotify and search for Happy mixes and/or playlists)
Congressional hearings, specifically the TikTok hearing

Addie

Who is Maud Dixon? By Alexandra Andrews
Rising Together by Sally Helgesen
School shootings – sadness, frustration. (Note from Mom &… Podcast: Learn more about ways to get involved here.)

Susanne

28 Summers by Elin Hilderbrand
Ted Lasso and Jeni’s Ted Lasso ice cream flavor, Biscuits With the Boss
Waiting on college news and getting annoyed by fussy parents in Facebook groups

More About Addie Swartz:A serial entrepreneur, Addie created reacHIRE to build a systematic pathway for exceptional women to get back into the workforce. Prior to reacHIRE, she founded two companies at the intersection of media, technology and education.

Addie started her career at Bain & Co. She has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Inc., Working Woman Magazine, Child Magazine, Working Mother, Good Morning America, NPR and MSNBC. Addie also named to the Inc. Magazine 2021 Female Founders List in the category, “Lifted Other Women Up.”

Addie is a graduate of Stanford University, and received her MBA from Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management. She’s also the proud mom of two daughters.

For more about ReacHIRE’s story, click here and visit the links below.

Connect with ReacHIRE:* The Definitive Return-to-Work Playbook * Website * LinkedIn * Facebook * Instagram * Twitter * YouTube

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Return to Work with ReacHIRE appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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March 23, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 112 / Guest: Meredith EthingtonSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:As we say in the intro to this episode, if you hang out on social media at all, you’ve probably laughed at something Meredith has posted. Her brand, Perfection Pending, is all about connecting with other parents around the realities – and absurdities – of life with children. Being a grown up and raising not-so-grown people is not easy, y’all.

We talked about her upcoming book, Mother Load, and how she wrote it through her depression. The conversation delves into dealing with mental health, from getting help to accepting and loving ourselves. We also talk about the nuts and bolts of writing, going back to school, and running over a cat. You just have to listen for more about that.

Topics From This Episode:* Writing * Depression * Anxiety * Parenting * Anxiety and Anger connection (https://www.scarymommy.com/moms-anxiety-makes-her-angry) * Toxic positivity * Social media * Binaural beats to help with focus * Scheduling writing time * Finding the right publisher * Writing as therapy * Seeking help for mental illness * Miracle cat * Societal pressure on moms * Going back to school

Look, Listen, LearnMissy

I Thought You Said This Would Work by Ann Garvin
Not Dead Yet

Meredith

Maddie Zahm
Secular Buddhism podcast
Meredith’s article: The Side Effect of Happiness is Being Fat? Sign Me Up.
What Happened to You, audiobook by Oprah and Bruce D. Perry

Susanne

Cunk on Earth
Podcasts Susanne might enjoy? Send ideas to us!

More About Meredith Ethington:Meredith Ethington is a mother, author, and founder of the Perfection Pending blog, which presents mothers with encouragement, humor, and heart. Her debut book, Mom Life: Perfection Pending was published through Absolute Love Publishing and debuted online as the #1 choice in the motherhood category. She is the co-owner and editor at FilterFreeParents.com, and in 2017, Meredith was honored as the BlogHer Voices of The Year Award Winner for her piece on mental health, “Why I Take The Pill.”

Meredith resides in Salt Lake City, Utah, and you can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, where she encourages mothers to laugh at themselves and admit that while parenting is the best thing ever, it’s also the hardest job on earth.

Connect with Meredith Ethington:* Website:perfectionpending.net * Pre-order the book here: https://perfectionpending.net/my-books/ * Facebook: @PerfectionPending * Twitter: @PerfectPending * Pinterest: @PerfectPending * Instagram: @perfectpending * TikTok: @perfectpending

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Forget Perfection – Focus on Your Mental Health appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing

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March 9, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 111 / Guest: Natalie BorrellSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:Our guest this week, Natalie Borrell, is a school psychologist and teen life coach. If you’re thinking that doesn’t sound like the typical Mom &… Podcast guest, you’d be right, and wrong. Everything Natalie teaches teens can also help adults.

This week’s needle-point-it-on-a-pillow moment was when Natalie shared one of her rules to live by: “Take care of your future self.” She taught us practical ways to take care of ourselves, with life hacks for overcoming procrastination and building resilience. Natalie has tips and tools for figuring out what you’re struggling with, why you’re struggling with it, and whether it’s something you can address by learning some coping tools, or if you need to seek professional help.

Natalie also shares some lessons learned in her entrepreneurial journey. Any listeners who have their own business, or want to start one, will get some wise advice.

Topics From This Episode:* Pomodoro Technique * LIfe hacks for procrastinators * ADHD * Coping ahead * Resilience * Techniques for learning resilience * Storytelling * Entrepreneurship * Starting a business * Business coaching

Look, Listen, LearnSusanne

Shrinking on AppleTV+
Reputation audio book
Needs ideas for new podcasts now that she’s not listening to her college planning podcasts
Fun spring break activities, like ax throwing and glassblowing

Natalie

It Starts With Us by Colleen Hoover
Dream Home Makeover and Studio McGee
Zen Color app

Missy

Poker Face on Peacock
A Slight Change of Plans with Maya Shakar – specifically You Have More Influence Than You Think episode
Impulse Brain Training app

More About Natalie Borrell:Natalie is the Founder of Life Success for Teens. She coached high school and competitive cheerleading for 8 years and this is where she realized that she had a gift for connecting with teenagers and motivating them to be the best version of themselves. She has over ten years of experience working as a school psychologist in a public high school. Her areas of expertise include working with students who have ADHD, executive functioning weaknesses, and other learning differences.

Natalie earned her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Ohio State University in 2004, her masters degree in school psychology in 2006 from Michigan State University, and her Educational Specialist Degree in 2007 from Kent State University. She became a certified Academic Life Coach in 2015 and founded Life Success For Teens in 2016.

When she is not coaching students, Natalie can be found traveling with her family, reading cookbooks, or binge-watching episodes of home decorating shows. One of her favorite parts of coaching is getting a text or email from her former students.

Connect with Natalie Borrell:* Website: www.lifesuccessforteens.com * FB group for parents: https://www.facebook.com/groups/LSFTcommunity/ * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifesuccessforteens/

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Procrastination, ADHD, and Tools to Help You Take Care of Your Future Self appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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March 2, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 110 / Guest: Ericka Sóuter, an Encore PresentationListen, Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts This week, we have a special treat for you: an encore presentation of one of our favorite episodes with Ericka Souter! We’re sharing it again to help us kick off a collection of relaunch episodes over the next few months.

It’s hard to relaunch if you have lost touch with yourself. If you regularly ask yourself, Who am I? or What do I really want? Ericka is the perfect person to remind you that, “You deserve to be on top of your to-do list.”

We were inspired to do a series of relaunch episodes by an article in The Riveter: We Found the Best Websites for Moms Reentering the Workforce. There were some familiar names on the list, like Carol Fishman Cohen, our guest from episode 77, and we also learned about some new-to-us companies helping moms relaunch. Since we live for this stuff and didn’t know about some of these amazing companies, we thought they might be new to you, too!

So give Ericka’s episode a listen if you’re ready to put yourself at the top of the to-do list, and then get ready for our upcoming interviews with Addie Swartz, the CEO of ReacHIRE, Christine Winston from Path Forward, and Jenny Galluzzo from The Second Shift.

Original Show Notes:Ericka Sóuter started out writing celebrity news, but becoming a mother changed her, and ultimately, changed her career.

She wrote How to Have a Kid and a Life: A Survival Guide, a book that came out of her work around the idea of redefining motherhood. Our conversation included discussion of the “mom gene,” and whether there are some universal truths for all mothers.

Anyone who has parented will relate to our conversations about being touched out, and wishing we’d been able to be honest with ourselves – and others – about what we were going through. We talk about friendships, relationships with our partners, expectations, and more. One of our favorite Ericka gems is, “You deserve to be at the top of your to-do list.”

Ericka’s work is all about helping us achieve that honesty, and she has developed six questions that we should all be asking to help ourselves have children and have lives.

What? You thought we were putting the questions in the show notes? You have to listen for the details.

More About Ericka SóuterEricka Sóuter is a nationally recognized voice in the realm of parenting news and parenting advice, regularly featured on Good Morning America. She is author of How to Have a Kid and a Life: A Survival Guide, which explores the 21st Century parenting dilemma: when did being a good mom become synonymous with giving up everything that makes you, you? Her work also appears on Parents.com, Mom.com, CafeMom, The Bump and What To Expect, all high traffic parenting sites that reach millions of moms each month. It’s her job to speak to parents across the country to stay on top of the issues, controversies and trends most affecting families today.

A journalist with over 20 years of experience, she has been on staff at both People Magazine and Us Weekly where she has written cover stories on everything from the Sexiest Man Alive to the untimely death of Michael Jackson. Before becoming a magazine writer, Ms. Sóuter took a short detour into the world of advertising, accepting a post at the Chicago based agency Leo Burnett as an account executive on the Kellogg’s account. Her ad world claim to fame: she was on the team that created the talking Frosted Mini-Wheat.

Ericka received a Bachelor of Arts from Georgetown University and a Master of Science from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism. She has also written for WebMD, Self, Cosmopolitan, Cosmo for Latinas, Essence and Huffington Post. A native of Ann Arbor, Michigan, she currently lives in Manhattan with her college sweetheart husband, Caleb, and sons Lex and Aidan.

Topics From This Episode* The Mom gene * How Moms can remain individuals * Celebrity journalism * Honesty in parenting * Mom friendships * Shasta Nelson, friendship expert * Values

Connect with Ericka* Instagram * LinkedIn * Twitter * Website

Look, Listen, LearnSusanne

Space Force
Euphoria (an accidental viewing)

Ericka

The Gilded Age
Vanderbilt: The Rise and Fall of an American Dynasty by Anderson Cooper

Missy

Spencer
Yacht Rock
Telestrations

Watch This Episode on Our YouTube ChannelMusical NotesOur delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript available upon request.

The post How to Have a Kid and a Life with Guest Ericka Sóuter appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

USAopoly Telestrations Original 8 Player, Family Board Game, A Fun Family Game for Kids and Adults, Family Game Night Just Got Better, The Telephone Game Sketched Out, Multicolor

Vanderbilt: The Rise and Fall of an American Dynasty

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February 23, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 109 / Guest: Kara HaugSubscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:TW/CW:This episode may be triggering for those with sexual trauma. If you are struggling and need immediate help, call 800.656.4673 or visit https://www.rainn.org/resources for resources and live chat options.

This episode openly discusses sex education. It may not be appropriate for some young listeners (put in those airpods!).

Kara Haug joins us this week for a frank discussion about sex education. We talked about what it means, as moms, to truly understand how our own experiences frame our views on sexuality. Sex education goes beyond s-e-x: reframing our own stories helps us model healthy relationships, productive communication, healthy body image, and self-worth for the children in our lives. Kara offers advice and resources for how we can start normalizing conversations about sex and relationships. We believe this topic has the power to change the world.

Topics From This Episode:* Comprehensive sex education * Deconstructing beliefs about sex * Deconstructing beliefs about sex education * Understanding our own stories * Understanding where our beliefs come from * Preparing moms to talk with their kids * Trauma * Shame * Healthy relationships * Boundaries * Consent * Dealing with disappointment * Self worth * Body image * Modeling healthy relationships * Toxic positivity vs. reframing our stories * Sharing our stories * Linda Kay Klein’s book, Pure * Access to porn * Advocating for sex education

Look, Listen, LearnMissy:

Shrinking on Apple TV+
Look Both Ways on Netflix
Manuka Honey (my mom’s version of Gus’s Windex in My Big Fat Greek Wedding)

Kara:

Reading a lot of poetry: What Kind of Woman by Kate Baer and Circle of Stones: Woman’s Journey to Herself
Reclaiming Body Trust: A Path to Healing and Liberation
Clay Lab at Verge Center for the Arts in Sacramento

Susanne

Looking at microwaves
Listening to the same seven songs for 2.5 hours

SIX times = How many times you’ll listen to this mix if you run a half marathon as slowly as SusanneMore About Kara Haug:Kara is the founder and partner of Reframing our Stories, a company dedicated to providing sexual health education, resources, and tools for families and communities to normalize conversations around sex and relationships. Her goal is to remove shame, and reframe our stories to promote openness, acceptance and a positive sense of self. She provides education and facilitates sexuality discussions in homes, schools, churches and with community groups domestically and abroad.

Connect with Kara Haug:* Email: info@reframingourstories.com * Web: www.reframingourstories.com * Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/company/reframingourstories * Facebook: www.facebook.com/reframingourstories * Instagram: www.instagram.com/reframingourstories * Book a 15-min free call: https://calendly.com/reframingourstories/discovery-call-15-min-free

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Reframing How You Think About Sex Ed with guest Kara Haug appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

Circle of Stones: Woman's Journey to Herself

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February 16, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 108 / Guest: Tami HackbarthListen, Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary:Our friend, Tami Hackbarth, is back with us this week to talk more about self-care! (Can there ever be enough self-care talk?) Tami has a new book all about erasing the guilt and making sure you have the mental, physical, and emotional resources required to fuel your work. From parenting to work to activism, and everything in, around, and beyond those things, you can’t show up if you’re depleted.

Topics From This Episode:* Self Care * Writing and Publishing * New book by Tami: The Essential Guide to 100% Guilt-Free Self-Care: Get Your Time and Energy Back to Create the World You Want to Live In. * Check out Tami’s last visit in Episode 89 of the Mom &… Podcast * Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies (Fellow Obligers, raise your hands!) * Body doubling to help with ADHD * The origins of self-care in the civil rights movement – read this for some background * Audre Lord * How to make sure we have the resources we need in order to show up and do our work * Limiting beliefs * The Tiny Book Course * The Calm App (specifically, a bedtime story from Harry Styles) * Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) * Activism * Setting yourself up for success with proper rest, food, exercise

Look, Listen, LearnMissy:

The Break by Katie Sise
Need music suggestions – send me your playlists!
Voiceover Classes from Lonestar VO

Tami:

Paint colors and home finishes (with her Eldin-like painter)
Harry and Meghan on Netflix
Spare by Prince Harry (audio)
Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey (The Nap Ministry is a great follow)

Susanne

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin
Unholy by Sam Smith and Kim Petras
New shelves for organization

More About Tami Hackbarth:Tami works with professional women who want to get their time and energy back so they can go after their big life goals. Shei began her career working in politics after graduating from UC Davis. In her mid 30s, she began her second career as an elementary school teacher. It was in her work as a teacher, she found herself physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. These were the beginning signs of burnout. In response, Tami began practicing 100% Guilt-Free Self-Care. It completely changed her life! Now dedicates her career to helping women change their lives through 100% Guilt-Free Self-Care. She is a certified Life+Work Coach through UC Davis Extension and coaches professional women privately all over the country.

Connect with Tami Hackbarth:* Website: https://www.tamihackbarth.com/ * Podcast: https://www.tamihackbarth.com/blog (link says blog but it is the podcast!) * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tamihackbarth/ * Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TamiHackbarth100PercentGuiltFreeSelfCareCoach/ * Twitter: https://twitter.com/TamiHackbarth

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post 100% Guilt Free Self Care with Guest Tami Hackbarth appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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February 9, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 107 / Guest: Erin Pepler

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Show Summary:

It was so great to finally have Erin on the show. Longtime listeners may recognize her name as the Hero in the Raspberry Compote Incident at the 2018 Mom2.0 Conference. She saved the day, and Susanne’s pants, with a Tide Pen at a crucial moment.

In addition to being a Stain Treating Tycoon, Erin is also an accomplished writer. We got to talk about what it’s like to pursue a writing career while parenting. We also talk about terrible board games (Chutes & Ladders, anyone?), and what it feels like to want a break so badly you start thinking of wild ways to achieve that time off. Turns out, there are some self care options that don’t require a hospital stay.

BOOK GIVEAWAY!

We are giving away three (3!) copies of Erin’s book, Send Me Into the Woods Alone.

Want to win? (Yes, you do.) Sign up for our newsletter before March 1, 2023 – all the details will be in the March newsletter.

Topics From This Episode:

Writing
Writing while parenting
Creative ways to find extra time
Writing space
Writing time
Board games
Tide pens
Self care
Self care as preservation in the black community
Audre Lorde
Community
Support systems
Boredom in parenting
Division of labor

Look, Listen, Learn

Missy:

Chelsea Handler’s special Revolution on Netflix
Chatter by Ethan Kross (audiobook)

Erin

Fayne by Ann-Marie MacDonald
Baby on the Fire Escape by Julie Phillips
Scandinavian crime shows on Netflix

Susanne

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Tranquility by Tuesday Challenge with Laura Vanderkam and time tracking (listen to our episode with Laura!)
Lost Children Archive by Valeria Luiselli
Upstairs Circus in Austin

More About Erin:

Erin Pepler is a freelance writer who lives in the greater Toronto area with her husband and two kids. Her work has appeared in Romper, Today’s Parent, Chatelaine, MoneySense, Best Health, Reader’s Digest, Broadview Magazine and more. Erin’s first book, Send Me Into The Woods Alone: Essays On Motherhood, was featured in The Globe and Mail, CBC Books, The Toronto Star, Quill & Quire and Publisher’s Weekly. When she isn’t making her kids’ lunches or venting about politics on Twitter, Erin is working on her second collection of essays.

Connect with Erin:

Website (and links to buy the book!)
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
LinkedIn

Images from the Episode:

Connect With the Mom &… Podcast

Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.
Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
Follow our Facebook Page
Join our private Facebook Group (All you have to do is ask to join, and then be nice once you’re in. So easy!)
Follow us on Instagram
Become a patron – check us out on Patreon!

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!

Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Create Your Identity Outside of “Mom” appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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January 26, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 106 / Guest: Megan Young

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Show Summary:

Many of us automatically associate grief with losing someone, but as Megan Young shares with us, grief touches our lives in many ways. We talked with Megan about a couple areas of grief that we – and a lot of our listeners, maybe? – connect with: the “lost professional” grief and “mother needing to redefine her life” grief.

Megan knows first-hand what it’s like to walk through grief, and learn how to live with loss and transition. She shared advice that is applicable to so many situations. Though our conversation centered on grief, this is far from a sad episode. We were left feeling encouraged and equipped, and we hope you will, too!

Topics From This Episode:

Grief
Life transitions
Coping skills
Coping tools
Loss of pets
Loss of work
Loss of identity
Sandwich generation
Helping children cope with grief
Getting to Neutral, by Trevor Moawad
Calm-Down Time, by Elizabeth Verdick
Enneagram 9 coping skills (or lack thereof)
How to help grieving friends
Covid-related grief

Look, Listen, Learn

Missy:

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus
Fortune Feimster comedy special, Good Fortune, on Netflix

Megan

How We Live is How We Die by Pema Chodron
Wednesday on Netflix
From Here to Eternity by Caitlin Doughty

Susanne

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin
Learning to control her email in-box
Learn how to fight against anti LGBTQIA+ bills in Texas – Follow Texas Freedom Network, Amber Briggle and Informed Parents of Austin.

More About Megan:

Megan Young is a trained life coach specializing in life transitions and grief. Through her own personal story of loss, she has discovered the key to creating a fulfilling life alongside her grief and new life chapters. Megan provides her clients with guidance, tools and perspective while navigating grief. She is also author of the Life After Loss Workbook Series for human and pet death. Available on Amazon.

Megan and her husband have two sons (Lincoln & Townes), an elderly cat named Dudley and chickens. They reside in the Texas Hill Country outside of Austin. There, Megan loves to lend support and encouragement to her community, family, and friends.

Connect with Megan:

Website
Instagram
Facebook
TikTok

Connect With the Mom &… Podcast

Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.
Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
Follow our Facebook Page
Join our private Facebook Group (All you have to do is ask to join, and then be nice once you’re in. So easy!)
Follow us on Instagram
Become a patron – check us out on Patreon!

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!

Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Coping with Grief & Life Transitions with Megan Young appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death

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January 19, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 105 / Guest: Laura Vanderkam

Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts!

Show Summary:

Laura Vanderkam is a time-tracking genius. Over the last seven years, she has tracked her own time and taught people all over the world to do the same. More importantly, she helps people learn why and how time tracking can change your life. It’s not just about keeping a spreadsheet of every little thing you do. It’s about taming the chaos and making meaningful choices.

Topics From This Episode:

Sign Up for Laura’s Tranquility by Tuesday Challenge!
Time Tracking
Time Management
Parenting
Stay-at-Home Parenting (is there really such a thing anymore?)
Scheduling “me” time
Creating a workable schedule (think: a real bedtime… for YOU)
Union Breaks, coined by @busytoddler
Good planners, like these from Whitney English
Using your good planner
Identifying priorities

Look, Listen, Learn

Susanne:

The Sex Lives of College Girls on HBOMax
Learning to listen to our bodies and rest when needed. You don’t need a positive Covid test to prove you are really sick!
Scary ChatGPT AI

Laura

Puzzles! Shakespearean Insults puzzle
Taylor Swift Midnights
Learning about other people’s tracking experiences after the recent 168 Hours challenge

Missy

Slow Horses on AppleTV
I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
Learning not to take overly long exercise breaks. It’s hard to bounce back!

More About Laura Vanderkam:

Laura Vanderkam is the author of several time management books, including the new Tranquility by Tuesday, along with I Know How She Does It, and 168 Hours. She is the host of the Before Breakfast podcast, and the co-host, with Sarah Hart-Unger, of the Best of Both Worlds podcast. She lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and five children, and blogs at LauraVanderkam.com.

Connect with Laura Vanderkam:

Website
Facebook
LinkedIn
Instagram

Connect With the Mom &… Podcast

Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.
Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
Follow our Facebook Page
Join our private Facebook Group (All you have to do is ask to join, and then be nice once you’re in. So easy!)
Follow us on Instagram
Become a patron – check us out on Patreon!

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!

Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Time Tracking & Taming the Chaos with Guest Laura Vanderkam appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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January 12, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 104 / Featuring the Hosts

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Show Summary:

This week features Susanne and Missy, sans guest, talking about prep work we’re doing for an upcoming episode with Laura Vanderkam. We’re working on our time management skills, and tracking our time to help us understand where the hours go. Spoiler: a lot of hours go to a lot of unproductive activities.

We also spend some of the episode talking about what’s going on in our lives right now, and you won’t be surprised to find out we get sidetracked multiple times. The conversation ranges from Covid to raccoons to football. There’s something for everyone!

Topics From This Episode:

The 2023 Time Tracking Challenge by Laura Vanderkam
Laura Vanderkam’s books: https://lauravanderkam.com/books/
Covid (will we ever NOT be talking about Covid?)
Time Management
Time Tracking
Distraction (like photo filters… see below)
Avoidance techniques
Anne Lamott
Raccoons (check out this TikTok account: wilbur.andgracie)

Look, Listen, Learn

We didn’t do an official Look, Listen, Learn this week, but we did talk about some of the things we are watching and doing:

Bad Sisters on AppleTV
Tell Me Lies on Hulu
Emily in Paris on Netflix
The Sex Lives of College Girls on HBOMax
Sex Education on Netflix
I Love That For You on Showtime
Ghosts (BBC version)
Fleishman is in Trouble on Hulu
TCU in the College Football National Championship (and the California rain)

Photos of things we talked about:

Missy as Princess Fiona?

Our friend (and guest), Abby Mathews on Instagram with her cow!

The map from Missy’s shuttle bus adventure at the CFB National Championship in Los Angeles

Connect With the Mom &… Podcast

Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.
Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
Follow our Facebook Page
Join our private Facebook Group (All you have to do is ask to join, and then be nice once you’re in. So easy!)
Follow us on Instagram
Become a patron – check us out on Patreon!

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!

Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

Transcript is auto-generated by a robot. Apologies in advance for misspellings or errors.

The post Time Tracking, Word of the Year and 2023 Kick Off appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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January 5, 2023 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 103 / Guest: Kimberly Didrikson

Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts!

Show Summary:

Kimberly Didrikson says that she was on a career track she loved, and then once her son was born she didn’t know who she was or where she was going anymore. Sound familiar? We definitely resonated with that phenomenon. This episode is all about supporting mothers as they navigate their new reality as moms &… (see what we did there?).

Topics From This Episode:

Practicing/rehearsing for transitions
Employee retention
Motherhood and Career Collide podcast
Connection
Starting a business
Separation anxiety
Parental leave policy
Voting for strong policies
Taking emotion out of decision-making
Allowing yourself to make a decision that works for right now, and change your mind later

Look, Listen, Learn

Missy

Spirited on AppleTV (still listening to the soundtrack after the holidays!)
Now is Not the Time to Panic by Kevin Wilson
Story Summit class on writing holiday movies

Kimberly

FIFA Uncovered on Netflix
Firefly Lane on Netflix
Smartless podcast
Good Inside with Dr. Becky

Susanne

The Dictionary of Lost Words by Pip Williams
Know your non-negotiables when considering a new role (listen to our episode with Cait Swamy for more)

More About Kimberly:

Kimberly spent 15 years growing her career at a Fortune 100 company. She held roles in business development, account management, and was part of building a new sales division in managed teams with portfolios of over $20 million in yearly sales.

Her career was essentially her baby, and then she had a real baby, an event that absolutely turned her world upside down. After becoming a parent, she discovered a deep passion for supporting working mothers through this transition into motherhood, while also helping organizations retain mothers as they enter into a new season of life with the growth of their families.

Connect with Kimberly:

Website
LinkedIn
Instagram

Connect With the Mom &… Podcast

Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.
Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
Follow our Facebook Page
Join our private Facebook Group (All you have to do is ask to join, and then be nice once you’re in. So easy!)
Follow us on Instagram
Become a patron – check us out on Patreon!

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!

Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

The post Preparing for Maternity Leave & the Post-Baby You appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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December 22, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 102 / Guest: Jen Mann

Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts!

Show Summary:

Warning: This episode contains holiday spoilers that may upset young listeners. Headphones recommended!

Jen Mann is back! Jen was our very first guest, back in episode 4, and she came back a year later in episode 53 to talk about her book, Midlife Bites. Now it’s a tradition! We usually run our Jen episodes in early January, but this year our gift to you is a December release!

In the spirit of Jen’s blog (now on Substack) and books, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, we decided to air our holiday grievances in this episode. We thought we would do something like a Top 10, but in true Jen-Susanne-Missy form, things rambled a little.

Topics From This Episode:

Holiday preparation
Baking (and gifting baked goods)
Missing deliveries
Ring camera for the win
Costco
PlayStation (and buying/returning more than one)
Creating Christmas Magic (and regular life infringing on Christmas chores/magic)
Buying for teenagers
Elf on the Shelf (check out Jen’s viral essay!)
Melted Elf on the Shelf
How many trees is too many trees? (Read about and watch Jen talk about her mom’s Christmas Explosion)
Pokemon
Real tree vs. fake tree (and dry, crispy real trees)
Leaving your future self helpful notes
Where to put the kid-made ornaments
Forgetting to get a “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament for second children
Moving Christmas to a better time of year (but when would that be?)
Constantine and pagans
Holiday guilt
Family gatherings
The Christmas Creep with Cormac

Look, Listen, Learn

No LLLs this week! We filled our hour with holiday-related discussion.

More About Jen:

Jen Mannis best known for her wildly popular blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat. She is the author of Midlife Bites: Is Anyone Else Falling Apart or is it Just Me?, as well as the New York Times bestseller People I Want to Punch in the Throat. She is also the editor of the New York Times bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series. She lives in Kansas with her husband and two children.

Connect with Jen:

Substack
Facebook
More Facebook
Instagram
Twitter
Pinterest
LinkedIn

Connect With the Mom &… Podcast

Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.
Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
Follow our Facebook Page
Join our private Facebook Group (All you have to do is ask to join, and then be nice once you’re in. So easy!)
Follow us on Instagram
Become a patron – check us out on Patreon!

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!

Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

The post Airing Our Grievances with Guest Jen Mann appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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December 15, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 101 / Guest: Cait Swamy

Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts!

Show Summary:

Note: We mention the New Year several times in this episode, but due to some rescheduling/shuffling of episodes, it’s running BEFORE the New Year. Just close your eyes and pretend it’s January when listening.

Cait Swamy is the third Ama La Vida coach we’ve had on the show. Clearly, we love Ama La Vida! Talking with Cait was talking to a wise, caring friend. You know, the one who has your best interests at heart and gives you real advice. This episode is full of actionable steps for anyone hoping to pivot in the New Year. Whatever it is you hope to accomplish in 2023, this episode can help you get started!

Topics From This Episode:

Quit Your Imposter Syndrome E-Course
Imposter Syndrome
Failure (the benefits of)
Servant leadership
Listening skills
People pleasing vs. people serving
Employee engagement
Jimmy Carter
Pivoting (how to prepare)
Mindset
Cell phone usage, total minutes per day (Listen to our episode with Catherine Pearlman for more!
Lighthouse Method by Stacy Kim (Listen to our episode with Stacy here!)
Belief systems
Roadblocks to making change
What’s your non-negotiable?
Strengths
Building confidence
Breath work (Listen to our episode with Dmitria Burby for more!)
Practicing for interviews
Self talk
Transferable skills
Resolutions vs. goals
Keeping goals visible
Zodiac signs and Enneagram
Habit building

Look, Listen, Learn

Susanne:

Andor
Better Conversations Calendar 2023 (Listen to our episode with Kat Vellos here!)
Listening to Christmas music

Cait:

Chatter by Dr. Ethan Kross
Effortless by Greg McKeown
Stutz on Netflix
Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey
John Lennon’s Christmas music

Missy

Three Pines update
(Not) Listening to the talking heads during sporting events
Learning not to create your Christmas cards while sick, but DO pay the extra money, if you can, to have the card company address and mail your cards.

More About Cait:

Cait’s passion and life’s purpose is helping people tap into their innate talents and coaching them to reach their full potential. With close to a decade leading Global Talent Development Programs at a Fortune 50 company, Cait has coached leaders from early career to executive leadership. Her natural curiosity and enthusiasm for people drew her to leadership coaching and diversity, equity and inclusion consulting.

Cait’s coaching is rooted in positive psychology and strength-based leadership. A natural empath, Cait holds space for her clients and listens to them wholeheartedly. She is a firm believer that leaders need a toolbox of actionable ways to create the life they desire so that they can be better leaders for the organizations they serve. Through partnering with her clients and holding them accountable, Cait helps to develop and enhance the Servant Leadership potential she believes exists within all of us.

Connect with Cait:

LinkedIn
Ama La Vida Coaching Website
Ama La Vida Instagram
Email: cait@alvcoaching.com

Connect With the Mom &… Podcast

Please subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re so inclined to give us a 5-star rating, we’ll love you forever. Who couldn’t use a little extra love?
Leave us a message – via voicemail or use our form – with your questions for experts, or suggestions for future episodes.
Check out our website, where you can find links to all the things!
Follow our Facebook Page
Join our private Facebook Group (All you have to do is ask to join, and then be nice once you’re in. So easy!)
Follow us on Instagram
Become a patron – check us out on Patreon!

Watch this episode on our YouTube Channel!

Musical Notes

Our delightfully happy intro and outro theme music, “We Will Get Through This” is performed by Young Presidents, and used under license from Shutterstock.

The post Preparing for a Pivot in the New Year appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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December 9, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 99 / Guest: Lizz Porter Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: We love highlighting amazing women doing amazing things, and Lizz Porter fits that description perfectly. This we we’re talking about running a business, and doing so while navigating medical issues, major life...

The post Supporting Women-Owned Businesses This Season (And Every Season!) appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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December 2, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 98 / Guest: Ashley Reckdenwald Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Ashley says the collision of motherhood and career was “like an explosion.” We think most of our listeners can relate that sentiment. Her company, Working Mom Notes, was born out of the...

The post When Motherhood & Career Collide with Guest Ashley Reckdenwald appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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November 24, 2022 Mom &… Podcast Re-Release of Episode 10 Guest: Nancy Davis Kho, Midlife Mixtape and The Thank You Project Subscribe and review wherever you listen to podcasts. In this season of gratitude, we are re-releasing an episode with one of our gratitude heroes, Nancy Davis Kho. Even if you’ve heard the episode, we...

The post The Thank You Project – A Gratitude Practice For Any Season appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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November 17, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 97 / Guest: Becky Blades Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: Becky Blades wants us all to be stARTISTs! Her daughter coined the term “startist” when she noticed that Becky had her hands in a lot of different enterprises, from business, to art,...

The post Start More Than You Can Finish with Author, Becky Blades appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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October 27, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 96 / Guest: Heather Black Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary: You’ve probably seen Salesforce ads with the cute little cloud, but if you’re like us, you didn’t understand the scope of the company. Our guest this week, Heather Black, is a Salesforce...

The post Salesforce 101: A Huge Relaunch Opportunity for Moms appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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November 3, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 95 / Guests: Shellie Hayes-McMahon and Crystal Mason Subscribe and Review wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary This episode originally ran on March 25, 2022. With election day coming up next week on November 8, we wanted to re-run this important conversation with Shellie and Crystal. ...

The post Vote! Know Your Rights & Get Involved appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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October 27, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 94 / Guest: Kat Vellos Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Kat Vellos helps people make and maintain connections. In a time where we have access to numerous methods of communication, many people still struggle to develop lasting, meaningful friendships. We had such...

The post Friendship in Midlife – With Guest Kat Vellos appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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October 20, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 93 / Guest: Robbi Crawford Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Robbi Crawford called us cool people, and while we love* hearing that, Robbi is most definitely the cool one. She has a depth and breadth of life experience that she now uses...

The post Create Your Just Right Life One “Experiment” at a Time appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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October 13, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 92 / Guest: Jenny Remington Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Life Coach Jenny Remington is back! She’s now in the lead for most guest appearances on the Mom &… Podcast. At 3.5 episodes, she is well on her way to the Five-Timers...

The post Learn How to Plan Your Own Mini-Retreat with Guest Jenny Remington appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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October 6, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 91 / Guest: Amanda Hill Subscribe or Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Direct Link to Episode on Apple Podcasts Direct Link to Episode on Spotify Show Summary: What ISN’T Amanda Hill? She embodies the idea of making our ellipses count. It was so fun to welcome...

The post Pivoting to Blend Creativity into a Professional Career with Guest Amanda Hill appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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September 30, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 90 / Guest: Kristin Shaw Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: More About Kristin Shaw: Kristin Shaw grew up attending classic car shows with her parents, and she has a soft spot in her heart for a 1957 Chevy Bel Air, preferably in...

The post Creating a Flexible Career You Love with Guest Kristin Shaw appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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September 22, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 89 / Guest: Tami Hackbarth Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Do you feel like you’re out of bandwidth? Like you want to make change in your life, in the world around you, but how and when and with what energy? Tami Hackbarth...

The post You Deserve Guilt-Free Self Care, with Guest Tami Hackbarth appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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September 15, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 88 / Guest: Dmitria Burby Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Y’all. If you read the words Transformational Yoga and Consciousness Coach and were concerned Susanne might be a woo-woo party pooper, rest assured, Dmitria blends just the right amount of data and...

The post From Data Analyst to Consciousness Coach: Career & Life Transformation, with Guest Dmitria Burby appeared first on Mom And Podcast.

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September 8, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 87 / Guest: Natalia Tamburini Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: After achieving success in several fields, Natalia Tamburini pursued a new path in coaching. She now thrives on helping people learn to enjoy and find fulfillment in their work, without putting pressure...

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September 1, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 86 / Guest: Steph Barron Hall Subscribe & Review wherever you listen to podcasts Content Warning: We use a word that rhymes with textual in this episode. It’s not used in a graphic context at all, but within the discussion about the Enneagram. If you know about...

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August 26, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 85 / New School Year Resolutions Subscribe and Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: We don’t know about you, but even before we were parents back-to-school time was our true New Year, not January. With the exception of the years between graduating from college and...

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August 18, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 84 / Guest: Julie Cole Subscribe and Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: This week’s guest, Julie Cole, was a successful lawyer who left the law behind to start a business. A lot of people in her life thought she was crazy, but she and...

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August 11, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 83 / Guest: Judith Gaton Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Loving what you wear, and knowing why you wear it, starts with your mindset. Our guest this week is Judith Gaton. She helps women become confident in their clothing choices, and with...

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August 4, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 82 / Guest: Jodi Silverman Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: This week’s guest was on the cusp of an empty nest, and while she had a thriving business and a family she loved, Jodi Silverman wasn’t fulfilled. She asked herself, “Is this...

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July 29, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 81 / Guest: Natalie Silverstein Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: An episode topic close to our hearts this week: advocacy. Not only advocacy, but a discussion about getting the whole family involved. Our guest, Natalie Silverstein, has made giving back a way...

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July 21, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 80 / Guest: Catherine Pearlman Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen To Podcasts Show Summary: Our guest this week is Dr. Catherine Pearlman, The Family Coach. We are lucky enough to know Catherine in real life, and want all of our listeners to know her, too. We...

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July 14, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 79 / Kick-Start Your Midlife with Guests: Founders of EvolveMe, Linda Lautenberg and Judy Shoenberg Subscribe and Rate Our Show Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Welcome to Week 4 of Summer Camp for Moms! We are currently running a month of re-plays focused on helping...

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July 7, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 78 / Slay Self Doubt with Guest: Katherine Wintsch Subscribe and Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Welcome to Week 3 of Summer Camp for Moms! We are currently running a month of re-plays focused on helping moms discover and develop their passions while their...

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June 30, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 77 / Summer Camp for Moms with Guest: Carol Fishman Cohen Subscribe and Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Welcome to the second week of Summer Camp for Moms! We are currently running a month of re-plays focused on helping moms discover and develop their...

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June 23, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 76 / Summer Camp for Moms with Guest: Julie Lythcott-Haims Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary: Welcome to the first week of Summer Camp for Moms! We are currently running a month of re-plays focused on helping moms discover and develop their passions...

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Episode 75: Summer Camp for Moms Subscribe & Rate Us Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Today’s mini-episode is a bit of a summer camp for moms. You know how we start planning our kids’ summer camps sometime around Thanksgiving, perfectly curating opportunities that fit our kids’ interests and talents or areas they’re curious about while...

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June 9, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 74 / Guest: Wendi Aarons Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts (Search “Mom and Podcast with Susanne and Missy”) Show Summary: This week we talk with our friend and fellow Austinite, Wendi Aarons, about writing her way through the biggest disruptor in her life: becoming...

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Subscribe and Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts June 2, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 73 / Guest: Fran Hauser Show Summary: As two Obligers and Enneagram Nines, we are so happy to know Fran Hauser. In this episode we talk through why it’s good to be nice at work, but also how to...

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May 26, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 72/ Gun Violence Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Your favorite not listed? Search for: “Mom and Podcast with Susanne and Missy” We rescheduled today’s planned episode, because honestly, we didn’t feel like we were in the right mental space to honor a guest’s message....

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May 19, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 71 / Guests: Margaret Ables & Amy Wilson, Hosts of What Fresh Hell Podcast Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary – “What Fresh Hell“ It’s as hard as you think it is. –Amy and Margaret, talking about parenting. We think it’s the perfect...

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May 12, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 70 / Guest: Maria Leonard Olsen Show Summary – A Midlife Mom’s Lessons from Recovery TW: This show includes discussion around substance abuse and recovery. If you or someone you love needs more information, please visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration site. We had...

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Subscribe & Rate wherever you listen to podcasts May 5, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast: Episode 69, Tipsy Ellipses / Guests: Jewellyn Forrest and Jen Mangels Show Summary Tipsy Ellipses is recorded monthly via Facebook Live. This month’s live recording took place on Tuesday, May 3, and featured guests, Jewellyn Forrest and Jen Mangels, both...

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Subscribe to Mom & … Podcast Wherever You Listen to Podcasts April 29, 2022 / Episode 68 – Get Strategic About Your Career Pause with Guest: Emily Stark, Marketable Mama Show Summary This week’s episode is all about helping moms get jobs. Emily Stark’s clients are women coming off of a career pause, or looking...

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April 21, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 67 / Guest: Dr. Kim Hires Subscribe & Rate Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary / TW: Suicide TW // Suicide from minute 3:45-4:08 of podcast and in first paragraph of show notes If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or...

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April 14, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 66 / Guest: Jennifer King Lindley Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary Jennifer King Lindley writes about positive psychology. Regular listeners may remember that we learned about positive psychology in episode 38 with guest, Ann Imig, who is a positive psychology coach. Jennifer...

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April 8, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast: Tipsy Ellipses Episode / Guest: Sarah Maizes Subscribe & Review wherever you listen to podcasts Show Summary Tipsy Ellipses is a monthly bonus episode that we record via Facebook Live. This month’s live recording took place on Tuesday, April 5, and featured guest, Sarah Maizes. Sarah is an...

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April 7, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 65 / Guest: Pat Duckworth Subscribe & Review Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary “We could talk about this all day!” –Missy and Susanne to Pat Duckworth What is this? It’s menopause, baby. This is an episode for everyone. Really, everyone. You’re either going to experience...

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Colorstrology: What Your Birthday Color Says about You

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March 31, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 64 / Guest: Zibby Owens Subscribe & Review wherever you listen to podcasts Show Summary Even though Zibby Owens told us that her career never really made sense to her until very recently, there has been one common thread: After a tragedy, Zibby decided that whatever she...

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March 25, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 63 / Guests: Shellie Hayes-McMahon and Crystal Mason Listen & Review wherever you listen to podcasts Show Summary Shellie Hayes-McMahon and Crystal Mason joined us this week to talk about advocacy and education around voter’s rights and voter suppression. On the Mom &… Podcast we frequently talk...

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March 17, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 62 / Guests: Amy Beacom & Sue Campbell Listen and Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts Show Summary Amy Beacom and Sue Campbell were, like so many of us, completely taken aback by the enormity of transitioning from career to career-plus-parenthood. They met when their children were...

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March 12, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast BONUS Episode / Guest: Amber Leventry Listen & Subscribe Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary It’s bonus day! We have nothing to add to your paycheck, but we do have something valuable. In this episode, we got to talk with our friend, Amber Leventry, about how to...

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March 10, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 61 / Guest: Ericka Sóuter Listen & Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts Show Summary Ericka Sóuter started out writing celebrity news, but becoming a mother changed her, and ultimately, changed her career. She wrote How to Have a Kid and a Life: A Survival Guide, a...

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March 4, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast: Tipsy Ellipses Episode / Guest: Amy Impellizzeri Download and Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts Show Summary Tipsy Ellipses is a monthly bonus episode that we record via Facebook Live. This month’s live recording took place on Tuesday, March 1, and featured guest Amy Impellizzeri. Amy is a...

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March 3, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 60 / Guest: Alisha Fernandez Miranda Subscribe & Rate Us Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary Alisha Fernandez Miranda has had a lot of brilliant ideas and great jobs. One of her most creative ideas was to intern at some of the jobs she considered dream...

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February 24, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 59 / Guest: Kay Newton, The Midlife Strategist Subscribe, Rate & Review Wherever You Listen To Podcasts Show Summary Kay Newton is The Midlife Strategist, focusing on simplicity and support to help women find their spark in this new phase. She shared her story, including how she...

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February 17, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 58 / Guests: Ashlee Brandt, Robin Winkles of STRONG by Ash B Download and Subscribe Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Show Summary This week we’re veering ever so slightly out of our usual career-focused lane, but trust us when we tell you there is a reason. One...

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The Parental Leave Playbook: 10 Touchpoints to Transition Smoothly, Strengthen Your Family, and Continue Building your Career

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Career Sequel: Identify & Develop Strengths During Career Breaks February 10, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 57 / Guest: Lee Koles, PhD, CareerSequel Listen to this episode wherever you listen to podcasts using the links below Show Summary Lee started the show by comparing us to Oprah. So that’s it. We have to retire...

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February 4, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast: Tipsy Ellipses Episode / Guest: Abby Mathews Listen & Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts using the links below Show Summary Tipsy Ellipses is a (usually) monthly bonus episode that we record via Facebook Live. This month’s live recording took place on Monday, January 31 and featured friend...

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February 3, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 56 / Guest: Doreen Dodgen-Magee Subscribe and Download Wherever You Listen to Podcasts Using the Links Below Show Summary This episode is packed – and we mean PACKED – with wisdom. Some of our favorite quotes include: “It’s easier to establish healthy norms than it is to...

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January 27, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 55 / Guest: Cara Harvey, Author of The 15 Minute Formula Listen & Subscribe Using the Links Below Show Summary Cara Harvey returns to the Mom &… Podcast to talk about her new book, The 15 Minute Formula: How Busy Moms Can Ditch the Guilt, Say Yes...

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Self-Love Workbook for Women: Release Self-Doubt, Build Self-Compassion, and Embrace Who You Are (Self-Help Workbooks for Women)

The 15 Minute Formula: How Busy Moms Can Ditch the Guilt, Say Yes to What Matters, and Conquer Their Goals

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January 19, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 54 / Guest: Jill Smokler, Creator of Scary Mommy, and the She’s Got Issues podcast Click below to listen and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Show Summary Jill Smokler joined us this week to talk about the journey from building the wildly successful website, Scary Mommy,...

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January 13, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 53 / Guest: Jen Mann, Author, Midlife Bites Use the links below to download and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Show Summary Jen Mann is on her way to the Mom &… Podcast guest Hall of Fame. She’s back for her second visit, this time to...

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January 6, 2022 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 52 / Guest: Linda Gardner of Your Next Career with Linda Show Summary This episode covers finding career purpose, making a pivot, and maternity leave policies. We talk with Linda about what it was like to make a bit change in her own career, and how she...

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December 30, 2021 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 51 / Featuring Susanne & Missy Show Summary Part two of a two-part series featuring hosts, Susanne Kerns and Missy Stevens, talking about self-love, self-compassion, and incorporating those concepts into planning for 2022. This week the focus is deciding on a Word of the Year and using...

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December 23, 2021 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 50 / Featuring Susanne & Missy Use the buttons below to listen or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts Part one of a two-part series featuring hosts, Susanne Kerns and Missy Stevens, talking about self-love, self-compassion, and incorporating those concepts into planning for 2022. This time of...

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December 15, 2021 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 49 / Guest: Nicole Wood of Ama La Vida Show Summary Nicole Wood started Ama La Vida Coaching in an effort to make coaching affordable and approachable for everyone. We talk with her about the benefits of coaching, and how the process works. If you’re reticent about...

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The Scaffold Effect: Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant, and Secure Kids in an Age of Anxiety

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December 9, 2021 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 48 / Guests: Ellen Evans from Foster Village, Inc. and Kristin Finan from Carrying Hope Show Summary Note: Originally scheduled to be the December Tipsy Ellipses episode, this recording became a numbered show. Tipsy Technical Troubles Took Toll. (Sorry, we had to.) If you are looking for...

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December 2, 2021 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 47 / Guest: Amy Wolfgang of CoachWolfgang Show Summary Amy Wolfgang’s early career pivots help give her a unique insight into the challenges her clients face finding careers that match up with their core values and their unique talents. In today’s episode she answers our questions about how...

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TLDR: Spend December with us over in our private Facebook Mom & … Community group where we’ll be spending the month discussing our favorite exercises and top learnings from Megan Logan’s Self Love Workbook for Women. You need this & you DESERVE this! —- We were supposed to be recording an episode with Cara Harvey...

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November 25, 2021 Mom &… Podcast Re-Release of Episode 10 Guest: Nancy Davis Kho, Midlife Mixtape and The Thank You Project In this season of gratitude, we are re-releasing an episode with one of our gratitude heroes, Nancy Davis Kho. Even if you’ve heard the episode, we think it’s worth another listen! Nancy Davis Kho...

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November 18, 2021 / Mom &… Podcast Episode 45 / Guest: Whitnee Hawthorne, The Savvy Working Mom Show Summary When Whitnee’s first child was born, she went back to work and almost immediately realized that what worked before didn’t come close to working anymore. Even with a supportive husband, she found that doing it all...

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November 11, 2021 / Mom & … Podcast Episode 44 / Guest: Katherine Wintsch of Slay Like a Mother Show Summary Early in this episode, Katherine Wintsch says that she had the trappings of success on the outside, but felt hollow inside. If you, like we did, felt that punch directly in your gut, give...

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November 5, 2021 Mom &… Podcast: Tipsy Ellipses Episode Guest: Cindy Whitesides, Life Coach Show Summary Tipsy Ellipses is a monthly bonus episode that we record via Facebook Live. This month’s live recording took place on Tuesday, November 2 and featured friend and guest, Cindy Whitesides. Cindy is trained as a Wayfinder Life Coach with...

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Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel November 4, 2021 Mom &… Podcast Guest: Megan Logan, MSW, LCSW, Author of SELF-LOVE WORKBOOK FOR WOMEN Show Summary Megan Logan is a licensed therapist and author of the SELF-LOVE WORKBOOK FOR WOMEN. In this episode we talk about Megan’s experience writing the workbook, and veer off into...

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Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

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Watch this Episode On Our YouTube Channel October 28, 2021 Mom &… Podcast Episode 42 Guest: Christina Joy Whittaker Show Summary When it comes to showing women and professionals of color how to pivot and advance in the workplace, no one does it better than Christina Joy Whittaker, founder and CEO of Pivot Brand Group...

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Watch this Episode On Our YouTube Channel October 21, 2021 Mom &… Podcast Episode 41 Guest: Lori Oberbroeckling, Secrets of Supermom Show Summary Lori Oberbroeckling is the author of Secrets of Supermom: How Extraordinary Moms Succeed at Work and Home and How You Can Too! She is a wife and mom to four tiny humans,...

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Take Back Your Time: The Guilt-Free Guide to Life Balance

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Watch this Episode on Our YouTube Channel October 14, 2021 Mom &… Podcast Episode 40: What We’ve Learned in 40 Weeks of Podcasting Show Summary Hosts Susanne Kerns and Missy Stevens talk about what they’ve learned in 40 weeks of interviewing life coaches, career coaches, and women who are embracing life in their ellipses. After...

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Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Tipsy Ellipses: October 2021, featuring Maria Luque, PhD If you’ve followed us for any time, and have ever joined us for a Tipsy Ellipses episode, you know that usually, we sit – cocktail in hand – and talk with our guests. Not this month! For October’s Tipsy episode,...

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Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 39: Lisen Stromberg Becoming a mother was the defining moment for Lisen Stromberg. If you’re thinking, “well, duh” we implore you to listen to her story, and how Lisen’s entire perspective on work, ambition, and purpose changed when she looked at the situation with her children –...

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Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 38: Ann Imig A decade ago, we met Ann Imig through LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER, a stage production of live readings, all centered around motherhood. We say this in the episode, but we can’t say it enough: being part of the LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER movement changed...

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Devotions: The Selected Poems of Mary Oliver

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Watch This Episode on Our YouTube Channel Episode 37: Cara Harvey “It’s not about perfection, it’s about intention.” -Cara Harvey This… well, this is tough for ambitious people-pleasers. Throw in some Enneagram 9-ness, and the Mom &… Podcast hosts have a lot to learn about intentionality in our work. Our guest this week, Cara Harvey,...

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Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 36: EvolveMe Our guests this week are Judy Schoenberg & Linda Lautenberg, founders of EvolveMe, a network developed specifically for mid-life women facing a pivot or relaunch. People who need to drop everything and listen right now (we mean it, now!) include, but are not limited to:...

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Watch This Episode At Our YouTube Channel September Tipsy Ellipses This month, we invited our group text to get Tipsy and talk ellipses with us. None of us can remember exactly when we started texting every day – and we mean EVERY DAY – because we can’t scroll back far enough. In fact, so many...

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Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 35: Danielle Bettmann Our guest this week is an early childhood specialist. Wait! We know you’re here for mom-related content, and we guarantee this episode brings it. Danielle Bettmann puts her whole heart into her work. Her company is even named Wholeheartedly. She wants families to have...

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Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 34: Carolyn Turkington / MomBabes Carolyn Turkington is one half of The MomBabes. She and her sister, Christina, launched this project after experiencing the ups-and-downs of motherhood during the early days, while simultaneously grieving the loss of their father. Carolyn says they are living out their dad’s...

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Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 33: Stacy Kim Have you ever thought, I’m smart, I’m talented, I’m motivated, but I have no idea how to mobilize and figure out my life?* US, TOO. You need to meet Dr. Stacy Kim, and learn about the Lighthouse Method for finding your way. The huge...

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Watch this Episode on Our YouTube Channel Episode 32: Raquel Kelley, MOMGUL * * * In this episode we discuss postpartum depression. If you, or someone you know, is struggling, talk to a trusted healthcare professional, friend, family member, or reach out directly to one of these resources: Postpartum Support International – 1-800-944-4773 Substance Abuse...

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Beautifully Said: Quotes by Remarkable Women and Girls Designed to Make You Think (Volume 1) (Everyday Inspiration, 1)

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Watch Episode at our YouTube Channel Episode 31: Gillian Behnke, Mom Camp Gillian Behnke is passionate about helping moms create lives they don’t want to run away from. If you’re sitting in a pile of unfolded laundry, or at a desk piled with the endless to-dos of your job, balancing all the things at home...

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Watch This Episode on Our YouTube Channel Episode 30: Julie Lythcott-Haims Julie’s new book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, was written with the 18-34 set in mind. It’s a book about adulting, and sure, young people need to learn a lot about being adults. It turns out, however, that we, um, slightly older...

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Watch This Episode on Facebook Watch This Episode on Our YouTube Channel MK & Susanne causing trouble, per usual. Welcome to the Mom & dot dot dot podcast Tipsy Ellipses edition – Once a month, we do a Facebook Live taping of the podcast – It’s a much different format than our usual “numbered” episodes...

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Watch This Episode on Our YouTube Channel Episode 29: Goli Kalkhoran We talk a lot about relaunching, but today we’re going to talk about… quitting. Our guest, Goli Kalkhoran, is a professional quitter. Wait, that doesn’t sound quite right. But here’s the deal: Goli found herself in a place many of us have been in,...

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The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

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Subscribe Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify SoundCloud Stitcher RSS PocketCasts YouTube Watch this Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 28: Carol Fishman Cohen So, you’ve been home for a while, and out of the workforce. Maybe you’re raising children, or perhaps you’re caring for elderly or ill family members. It’s time, though. You’re ready to...

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The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity

Working Identity: Unconventional Strategies for Reinventing Your Career

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Watch This Episode at Our YouTube Channel Episode 27: Ashley Connell, Prowess Project Our guest this week saw a problem, and she decided to do something about it. That’s our kind of woman! Ashley had a career she was passionate about, but there was an undercurrent of worry. She knew that it was going to...

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Watch This Minisode Over at Our YouTube Channel Bonus Episode: Mecca Brown As so often happens, we start talking with our amazing guests and WE CANNOT STOP TALKING! Mecca Brown, (featured in Episode #26) is now breeding goldendoodle and poodle puppies, and has a litter at her house. We got carried away talking about all...

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Watch this Episode on Our YouTube Channel Tipsy Ellipses: July 2021, featuring Simone de Muñoz Most of the time we interview career & life coaches, or authors who have written books specifically about expanding the possibilities outside of “mom” life. But there are SO MANY AMAZING MOMS out there who aren’t necessarily coaches, yet are...

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Watch This Episode on Our YouTube Channel Episode 26: Mecca Brown At 18, Mecca Brown got pregnant. She went from high school graduate, on track to attend one of the top universities in California, to facing a host of obstacles: she was (in her words) an African-American, plus-sized, college dropout, teen mom, working and raising...

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Watch the Video of This Episode at Our YouTube Channel Episode 25: Jenny Remington Returns to Talk About Habits We have our first return guest this week! We love talking to Jenny Remington, and hope she’ll continue to join us frequently (Hey Jenny, will you be a regular contributor, please?). If you haven’t listened to...

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Post-it Super Sticky Notes, 5x8 in, 4 Pads, 2x the Sticking Power, Energy Boost Collection, Bright Colors, Recyclable (5845-SSUC)

LectroFan High Fidelity White Noise Machine with 20 Unique Non-Looping Fan and White Noise Sounds and Sleep Timer

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book [Deluxe Edition] 1st (first) edition

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Watch this Episode at Our YouTube Channel Tipsy Ellipses: June 2021, featuring Matt Evans and Michael Lewis For our June Facebook Live, aka Tipsy Ellipses, we welcomed our brothers to talk all things Dad &…. Matt Evans (Missy’s brother) is a dad and dot, dot, dot equine veterinarian, artist, and stand up comedian. He is...

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Watch this Episode on Our YouTube Channel Episode 24: Shannon Rafalowski (Trigger warning: eating disorder thoughts and behaviors and self-harm/cutting) Today’s episode is Part 2 of our discussion with Shannon Rafalowski (from Episode 22, when Shannon joined us to talk about defining our values and mind-body connection.) Our conversation went beyond those topics to include...

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Watch the Video of This Episode at Our YouTube Channel Episode 23: Morgan Seaman, This Empowered Mom Morgan Seaman loved her job, and loved being a working mom. After eight years of balancing work and parenthood, though, she felt like there could be a better way to approach things. Morgan sought coaching and counseling for...

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Watch This Episode On Our YouTube Channel Episode 22: Shannon Rafalowski Almost every week on The Mom &… Podcast, the concept of values comes up. Understanding your personal values allows you to focus on what matters in your life. Every week when this comes up we think, we really should learn more about how to...

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Think and Grow Rich: The Landmark Bestseller Now Revised and Updated for the 21st Century (Think and Grow Rich Series)

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Watch the Video of this Episode on our YouTube Channel Episode 21: Lauren Smith Brody As a new mom, Lauren Smith Brody started having candid conversations with her co-workers at Glamour Magazine about how hard it was to parent an infant and succeed at work. Her book, The Fifth Trimester, was born out of these...

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Watch This Episode on our YouTube Channel Episode 20: Lisa Levine Lisa Levine had a non-crisis midlife crisis (if you’re going to have one, that sounds like the way to do it). She found herself sitting in meetings, thinking,”This is not what I want to talk about.” A longtime fan of Martha Beck, Oprah’s life...

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Watch The Episode at our YouTube Channel Episode 19: Suzanne Brown When her son was born 10 weeks premature, Suzanne Brown was still working a full-time corporate job. The plan was to continue in that role, but she quickly realized that things needed to change. After negotiating her role down to part-time, Suzanne started getting...

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Watch This Episode on our YouTube Channel Episode 18: Justine Sones Boundaries. Got any? We don’t. Well, sometimes we have boundaries, and sometimes we feel bad about enforcing them. We’re learning. Enter: Justine Sones. If you have the time, we recommend pausing after everything Justine says, and just letting it… Simmer. Soak. Absorb into your...

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Watch Full Video (with bonus photos!) on YouTube Now! Welcome to our May Tipsy Ellipses episode. On the first of every month, we (Susanne & Missy) do a Facebook Live bonus episode. The show is (mostly) unedited and non-bleeped, so keep those earbuds in if you’re around the littles. To watch the live version, be...

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Suburban Haiku: Poetic Dispatches from Behind the Picket Fence

The Book of Mini: Inside the Big World of Tiny Things

Just Don't Be an Asshole: A Surprisingly Necessary Guide to Being a Good Guy: A Parenting Book

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Episode 17: Michelle Garrett Please Note: This episode contains a discussion around depression, with a reference to self-harm and suicide which may be difficult for some listeners. If you need resources for yourself or someone you love, please visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255. We are honored, and so grateful,...

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This week we are un-taboo-ing (that’s a thing, right?) an often taboo subject: money. Our guest is Janice Scholl, the host of The Money, Career & Motherhood Podcast. Choose from the icons above to listen and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. If you would like to watch the video version of this episode, it...

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Episode 15: Kristin van Ogtrop Thinking about making a big career change? Considering a huge shift, whether from home-to-work or work-to-home or something in between? This is the episode for you! And if you happen to be in mid-life, you’re in for a great time. You can watch a video version of this episode over...

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The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage

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Episode 13: KJ Dell’Antonia This week, our guest is KJ Dell’Antonia, the author of the viral New York Times essay Why I Didn’t Answer Your Email, the former editor of the Times’ Motherlode blog, and the author of the book How to Be a Happier Parent. Her debut novel, The Chicken Sisters, is a timely,...

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Welcome to our April Tipsy Ellipses episode. On the first of every month, we (Susanne & Missy) do a Facebook Live where we recap our top learnings from the previous month’s episodes and give a sneak peak at what’s coming up in the month ahead. The show is unedited and non-bleeped, so keep those earbuds...

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Episode 13: Alison Tedford Alison Tedford is a mom & … writer, marketer, indigenous (Kwakiutl First Nation) activist based in Abbotsford, British Columbia, and author of the soon to be released, Chronic Profit – Building My Business While Managing Persistent Pain, which is filled with career solutions for people dealing with chronic health & life...

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Smoky-Top, the Art and Times of Willie Seaweed (Thomas Burke Memorial Washington State Museum Monograph, 3)

Chronic Profit: Building Your Small Business While Managing Persistent Pain (Business Series)

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Episode 12: Kelly Rippon, Mom &… Leading by Example Kelly Rippon, started her consulting company, Authentic Change, in 2006, with the mission of changing the world one conversation at a time. Those conversations, combined with her work as a college instructor, corporate trainer, and single mother of six incredible children, including her oldest son, Olympic...

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It’s Spring Break here in Austin so today’s episode was taped during a Facebook Live on our Mom & … Facebook Page last week. You can watch the full video at our Facebook Page or over at our YouTube Channel. This week marks a full year of Covid lock down for the Stevens and Kerns...

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Episode 10: Nancy Davis Kho Nancy Davis Kho is a speaker, author, and podcaster whose work has appeared in the Washington Post, San Francisco Chronicle, and NPR affiliate KQED. Nancy’s book THE THANK-YOU PROJECT: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time was published by Running Press in December 2019. Nancy covers “the years...

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Episode 1.9: Jenny Remington, Habits This week is the second part of our conversation with Jenny Remington. Basically, we had a blast talking to her about StrengthsFinder and got carried away. The next thing we knew, we were talking about habits and realized we had a second episode on our hands. The topic of habits...

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Hello – Welcome to the Mom & … Podcast Tipsy Ellipses episode with Susanne & Missy. If this is your first time joining us, the Tipsy Ellipses episodes are different than our regular numbered episodes. On the first of each month, we do a Facebook Live on our Mom &… Podcast Page where we recap...

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Subscribe Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify SoundCloud Stitcher RSS Episode 1.8: Jenny Remington, Strengths Finder This week, we are talking with Jenny Remington, a professionally trained and certified coach with the International Coach Federation. She has empowered hundreds of professionals, entrepreneurs, and parents to reignite their career, discover their path, or realign their life. Jenny...

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Download wherever you listen to podcasts The show starts at 2:38, but we didn’t want to use up extra electricity doing edits, so you can just FFWD a bit or listen to us chit chat before we jump in. Today we had a fabulous Strengths Finder Episode with Jenny Remmington scheduled to air but since...

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Listen & subscribe wherever you get your podcasts! FYI: We use the word ‘sexual’ a couple times near the end of the episode. It’s not used in a graphic context at all, but within the discussion about the Enneagram. Just a warning, though, if you don’t want that word flying around the inside of your...

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The Enneagram in Love: A Roadmap for Building and Strengthening Romantic Relationships

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Friends, you showed up and we loved it! Thanks for hanging out with us, and if you weren’t able to make it to our first Tipsy Ellipses Facebook live, we got you covered. We’ve uploaded an unedited re-play of the Facebook live event. This makes for a slightly longer episode than usual, and of course,...

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Episode 1.6: Mom And… Niksen: Embracing the Dutch Art of Doing Nothing, with Olga Mecking Episode summary: In this episode, author Olga Mecking joins us to talk about the concept of Niksen. Olga Mecking is a journalist, writer and translator. Originally from Poland, she lives with her German husband and three children in the Netherlands....

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Subscribe Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Spotify SoundCloud Stitcher RSS Episode summary: In this episode, we talk to enneagram enthusiast, Jill Johnson, about how to zero-in on our Enneagram numbers, and then how to put that information to work on our quest for self-knowledge and growth. Some of the Topics we covered this week: Enneagram Institute...

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Episode 1.4: Jen Mann Episode summary: This week we talk with the author, Jen Mann, about work-life balance, raising teenagers, knowing who we are, traveling mishaps, and more. We also do the second installment of Look, Listen, Learn, in which we decide the name is sticking. Some of the Topics we covered this week: Set...

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Episode 1.3: Backfilling the Busy Video available here. Episode summary: In this week’s episode, Susanne and Missy talk about the unnecessary chores and extra volunteer work they’ve used as avoidance tactics, rather than tackling work they’re truly passionate about. They also talk about what’s coming up in the next couple months, and introduce a new,...

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The Goal of the Mom & . . . Podcast is to share information that truly helps moms, no matter which phase of parenting/professional grownup conundrum you’re in. We know what our questions are, but we want to know what’s on your minds so that we can tailor episodes to you, so what’s your question?...

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Welcome to the Mom & . . . podcast. We’re Missy & Susanne, two moms trying to figure out what comes after “mom”. Whether you’re a stay at home mom of a newborn or a a mom who is already an empty-nester, our podcast will feature interviews with career and life coaches helping moms answer...

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Mom And ... Podcast: Recent Episodes

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