Little Detours: Recent Episodes
Regina Brett
Each week you’ll meet resilient people sharing lessons they learned from life’s detours. You’ll hear from experts who will offer tips, tools and takeaways to help you get through anything life hands you. I’ll also share some of my own detours.
Miracles sometimes wear disguises. They’re tucked in the ordinary and mundane parts of life that we might want to skip. Or they come right when you’re ready to give up on you or someone else. Don’t quit before the miracle happens.
Years ago, I was asked to help a boy who had all sorts of disabilities. I volunteered to help him. It turns out he helped me more. He taught me not to quit. He was my miracle.
It doesn’t matter what has happened to you, it matters what you do with what has happened to you. Life is like a poker game, you don’t get to choose the cards dealt to you, but it’s entirely up to you how you play them.
You get to decide what you’re worth, how you matter and how you make meaning in this world. No one else has your gifts, You are an original. A masterpiece. Act like it. Live like it.
When was the last time you got angry at God? Most of us are too afraid to.
God wants an authentic, honest relationship with us. It’s human to experience anger and frustration, even at God. At some point in life, we all struggle with life, with the deaths of those we love, with misfortunes and confusion and heartaches that sometimes seem endless.
There’s no wrong way to pray. Just speak from the heart. You don’t have to understand God to pray. God understands you.
You don’t have to take a giant leap or complete a five-year plan or an Excel spreadsheet. Just take the next right step.
What it is? It’s beneath all those 19 other steps that have you paralyzed into procrastination.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, pause, pray for clarity and proceed with the next right step. The next step is usually clear, but we look too far down the road at all the other steps we don’t want to take or don’t know how to take and end up doing nothing.
Once you take the next right step, the small one that IS clear, then the step after that becomes clear, and the next and so on.
Our job as survivors of cancer and other big detours in life is to bear witness, to share our experience to lighten the load for others, to carry the torch of hope to all who need a light in their darkness.
Once you’ve had cancer, you never know if you’re cured forever, so you live the hell out of the day you are in, this big, beautiful, glorious day, and give thanks for being alive to see it unfold.
Make your life a prayer. Not a quest for more money, awards, popularity, achievements, praise or fame.
A Jesuit priest used to offer this simple statement to everyone he counseled: “God is the answer. Now what was your question?”
The solution to every problem is more God. More love. More joy. More peace.
Saints aren’t perfect super-human beings who wear halos. Saints are people who know how much God loves them.
To know that fully means you live without demands on others for time, attention, gifts and constant reminders that you are loved. You are loved by the Source of all Love. It’s a radical, extravagant love that completely fills you up. Saints can see God hidden in the rest of us.
Give birth to the person you want to be right now.
Go look in the mirror and fall in love with that beautiful child of God looking back at you.
Every day you have a chance to be reborn, to give birth to yourself, to choose joy.
We all have an inner critic. They key is, do you let it run — and ruin — your life?
You, the soul, spiritual You, have the power to change your thoughts. You also have the power to ignore them, replace them or release them.
Real faith isn’t praying without ceasing. It’s believing that God heard you the first time.
When you pray like you mean it, you believe God heard you the first time. You ask, then you pause and receive your answer, without any proof. You trust that your prayer was heard, that once you hit the Send button, it arrived and you don’t have to keep pounding on the keyboard to deliver it.
The next time you pray, pause and acknowledge that you have complete confidence in a God who loves you. That God will give you “this, or something better.”
You have all the answers you will ever need. They’re inside of you. How do you access them? Consult your own soul.
Too many of us run around interviewing friends and family and strangers for the answers we need.
To really hear the wisdom within, you have to take time away from the noise and stay silent and listen. When you consult your soul, it will say “Yes” or “No” loud and clear.
How do you put the oxygen mask on yourself?
First, you give yourself permission to do so. The care and feeding of you is up to you and no one else.
Take back the remote control of your life. Own it. Your time is your time. Don’t give yourself away so there’s nothing left of you for you. Before you give any of your time away, ask what you’re trading in for it. Is it worth the trade?
Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, and everyone around you will breathe a little easier, too.
The secret of life is no secret. It’s sprinkled all over your life.
The secret of life is to find God in the present moment. If you do that, you’ll discover the secret of life is no secret.
It’s a baggy pair of overalls. Poems by Mary Oliver. Music by Louis Armstrong. Chocolate by Godiva. And so, so much more.
It’s celebrating what already is, right here, right now.
There’s an old saying: If you’re five minutes early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late and if you’re late, you’re fired.
Being late causes stress for you and everyone else.
After being late most of my life, now I’m almost always early. I add a little extra time to drive anywhere so I don’t risk getting a speeding ticket or fueling anyone’s road rage. Arrive early and you’ve scheduled in room to breathe.
Instead of being predictably late, arrive early and be the one everyone can count on.
Whatever you put your personal magnifying glass on grows. So why not put it on the good?
A beautiful soul named Larry Petrus taught me that. He saw and magnified the good in every stranger he met.
Whatever you focus on grows, so train yourself to magnify the good in the marriage you have, the house you have, the job you have, the family you have, the body you have. When you practice seeing the good and the God in everyone, and you’ll see it more often than you ever imagined.
We all judge ourselves too harshly when it comes to doing our best. We raise the bar too high, setting it at perfection, and give ourselves a failing grade for anything that falls short of that.
A beautiful teacher named JoAnn Hollis taught me that even at our worst, our work can still be a great gift to others. It’s not ours to judge, just to complete.
No one should climb a career ladder alone. Carry someone else up as you make the ascent. Empower others to be their best selves and you make the world better for everyone.
Whatever career ladder you’re headed up, take someone with you.
The most quoted rule for Book Clubs is this: You do not talk about Book Club.
Okay, so a Book Club shouldn’t feel like Fight Club, but there are rules to follow. You read just one book at a time. Conversations go on as long as they need to. If it’s your first night at Book Club, you have to talk.
Find out how to create the best book club and read the best books. And remember, What happens in book club, stays in book club.
How many pages do you give a book before you stop reading? I give a book 40 pages. If it doesn’t make my Wow Meter go wild, I stop reading.
No boring books. I don’t read anything that feels like homework. That’s one of Regina’s Rules for Reading.
Listen to the rest of them, like: Agree to disagree: Just because everyone else likes a book doesn’t mean you will. Take “Ulysses.” Please, take it!
A library card is a passport to the world.
It will take you anywhere in the world. With a library, you don’t need a passport to go to Peru. You don’t need airfare to tour the Mediterranean. You don’t need reservations to travel the Riviera.
If you can’t afford a vacation, the library is your vacation. If you need a job, the library offers limitless opportunities to craft your resume, learn new skills or build your confidence.
A library isn’t a luxury, it’s a lifeline.
When you become a first-time dog owner, it helps to adopt the motto: Overprepare and go with the flow.
And yes, that might mean the flow of dog pee all over your living room floor.
Naming a dog isn’t easy. Who actually decides? Me? My husband? Our three grandkids? Their parents? This was going to be a family dog, so all 7 of us were in on the choosing.
There are so many things to consider when naming a dog, especially when you’ve never had a dog and you’re 64 and it’s probably the only dog you’re ever going to have in your life.
A dog’s name can’t be one that’s embarrassing to scream at the top of your lungs when it runs away, so Poopsy Pie, Sprinkles and Mister Snuggles were out. Find out what we chose and how, and steal from our list of the great names we didn’t choose.
I’m not a dog person. So why is there a giant dog crate in the corner of my living room?
Blame the grandkids. All three of them. Grandkids have a way of cracking open your heart. And that’s what happened. My heart cracked open.
During the pandemic, the grandkids were begging for pet and settled on a gerbil. Then one day our 9-year-old granddaughter announced, “I don’t know why we’re talking gerbils when we should be talking puppies.”
That was the moment. Our hearts opened wide to a pandemic puppy.
Listen to Part 1 of our journey to create a generation of dog lovers. It’s the story of how two non-dog lovers became pet people to transform their family forever into dog people.
It all started with the decision to love one puppy for life. And oh, what a life changer it has been.
Elton John was right. “Sorry” seems to be the hardest word. Why is it so hard to give an apology?
Most people don’t know how to apologize. We’re all pretty clumsy at it. We say, “If I offended you, I’m sorry.” Or, “Sorry you feel that way.” Or, say “I owe you an apology” yet never give one.
An apology includes the words, “I’m sorry.” Those two words can repair and right a relationship forever. No one likes to admit they’re wrong, but we’re all wrong some of the time. And sometimes our wrongs hurt others.
Albert Einstein said if he had an hour to solve a problem and his entire life depended upon the solution, he’d spend the first 55 minutes asking the right questions.
Do you believe the Universe is a friendly place? What is the kindest thing to do right now? If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? Apple founder Steve Jobs urged people to ask themselves that question, and if the answer was “No,” then change your life.
Discover the power of asking the right questions.
What’s on your Bucket List? It’s a list of all the things you want to experience before you “kick the bucket.” Things to try before you die.
It’s the opposite of homework. Instead of focusing on your life’s work, you focus on your life’s play and make sure you live your big adventure here.
When you turn your Bucket List into a Bucket Life, everyone benefits from what’s on your list.
People say “get out of your comfort zone.” Sometimes you actually need to climb into it, get cozy and savor it.
You can create a Comfort Zone out of your favorite chair, a nightstand or a corner of a room. You just need a spot that is all yours that brings you a measure of peace where you can reboot and restore your life.
We could all benefit from professional help. Getting counseling might be the best thing you ever do for yourself.
If you were broken and bruised from childhood abuse or neglect, or sexually abused as a teenager or young adult, you don’t have to keep tiptoeing around the minefield of your past to avoid explosions of shame, anger and rage. You don’t have to feel desperate and hungry and lost your whole life.
There is joy on the other side of all that pain. Find it.
You are beautiful. When was the last time you looked in the mirror and believed it?
Too often we are our own worst enemies. Some of the meanest things said about us are said by us.
We need to honor our bodies, no matter what size or shape or age we are, and believe this truth about ourselves: we are beautiful, as is, right now.
With one daily act of kindness, you could change the world. So why don’t you?
Imagine if we all said, did, posted, shared, clicked and liked only content that was kind. We could start a revolution.
Let’s do it!
True surrender is to love it all. Everything.
The mosquito. The ex-husband. The barking dog. The traffic. The weather. Even growing old. Especially growing old.
Plan a birthday extravaganza to celebrate every age you are. Release all your hostages. Be free of all you have built to protect you from the world. The secret isn’t to build a wider moat or to be a fiercer dragon or to build thicker walls or tougher skin. The secret is to believe at the deepest core of your being that your soul is unhurtable.
Because it is.
A first class life requires first first class relationships. Is it time for an upgrade?
Your life can and should be full of vibrant, conscious people who love and support you and are a joy to be around.
Learn to tame the takers. Bless them, release them and change you.
Are you living the life your soul wants you to have?
Most of us waste a lot of energy and squander our joy minding other people’s business and neglecting our own. How do you mind your own soul? Meditate daily. Pause through the day to center. Release drama addicts from your life. Remind yourself often, Not my circus, not my monkeys.
You might be too old to crawl into a lap to hear a good story, but you’re never too old to read yourself a great children’s book.
Artist and illustrator Karen Sandstrom talks about her favorite children’s books. The former book editor for the Cleveland Plain Dealer owns hundreds of children’s books. On her Facebook page she spotlights a weekly favorite.
You know the kind, where you know every line by heart because the books leave an imprint on your heart, one that lasts forever.
The bombing in Bali turned Sophie Sureau into her own superhero. She was burned and buried under the rubble in two explosions that killed 202 and wounded 300 during the terrorist attack of Oct. 12, 2002.
She regained consciousness when she felt people walking on her back to escape the carnage. Her choice was to burn to death or get up. Sophie turned herself into the Incredible Hulk to survive, fleeing the scene with skin hanging from her body.
We’ve all experienced someone say, “Shame on you!” Well, shame OFF you. Shame off everybody.
That shame isn’t yours, so don’t carry it for the parents or nuns or teachers or siblings or strangers who dumped it on you.
Cleveland Criminal Defense lawyer Ian N. Friedman got a new grip on life after he lost his arm in a motorcycle accident.
That moment he hit the guardrail and flew 100 feet has been with him every day since June 17, 2011. The metal tore through his neck and severed the nerves to his arm. He calls it the best thing that happened to him.
If you’ve ever felt too bruised to love, you’re not alone. Some of us were born bruised. But the truth is we were born whole and worthy of love.
We often look for the love our life everywhere but in the mirror. Once you can look in the mirror, say to yourself, “I love you,” and truly believe it, you are better able to love others and to heal the world.
“No” is such a tiny word, but it’s the gateway to saying “yes!” to you and your life.
The word “no” is your guardian and a gift you give yourself. When you say “yes” you are giving away not just your time, but your life, because your time IS your life.
Hal Becker was diagnosed with terminal cancer when he was 28. Instead of killing him, it made him eternally grateful — for the next 38 years.
Hal made a vow to have fun back in 1982, and he has kept it every day since.
“We” just might be the most powerful word in the dictionary. “We” can topple a government. “We” can conquer cancer. “We” can fly to the moon and back.
Find out how to become a Guardian of the Galaxy and grow your ‘we.’
The survivors of Apartheid taught the Rev. Mark Simone to choose goodness over happiness, to elevate others and to remember that joy is the heart of the human soul.
Mark talks about white privilege and how to validate others and about the liver transplant that saved his life.
Foster child. Alcoholic. Marine. Vietnam War vet. Cancer survivor. Glenn Proctor survived it all with grace, gratitude and grit.
He offers tips on how to carry your own water, get your life out of first gear and believe and love the person you see in the mirror every day.
One word. That’s all it takes to change your life. But which word?
Instead of making resolutions to change everything in your life, just choose one word. It could be Hope, Faith, Savor, Bask, Dance or Be.
Find out how to choose one word to be your compass point, your North Star, your X on the target of life.
During this pandemic, we could all use a little more hope. Where do you find hope? In the kindness of strangers. In Psalm 43. In Van Gogh blue skies. In nature, which never loses hope. Tips for finding hope and hanging on to it.
If you want to give a child sweet dreams, give a child a bed.
As Exec. Dir. of Cleveland Furniture Bank, Tom Gaghan has given beds to 8, 500 children who once slept on the floor or a couch.
He was downsized after 31 years with C.E.I. Then he lost half of his I.R.A. in a stock market slide.
Tom found a new career and helped launch the Cleveland Furniture Bank,
So many books, so little time. The pandemic has given us the gift of time. Suzanne DeGaetano can help you choose the right book for you and for those you love.
Grief needs an exit ramp.
Grief comes in waves, some gentle, some with the force of a tsunami. The deeper you loved, the larger the grief.
Give grief an exit ramp through tears, talking, writing and sharing stories with others.
As a music therapist, Sarah Maxwell comforts the sick and dying. She shares what the dying have taught her about how to live, love and comfort yourself.
Katie O’Toole Smith and Regina share their tips on how to make gratitude a daily practice so that what you already have is always more than enough.
How do you write a book? Write one clear sentence, then another, then another. But first, find your why, and the words will flow.
Beth Macy loves outsiders and underdogs. As a writer, she’s on a quest to hold power accountable and to follow what grabs her soul and won’t let go.
Acceptance is the key to serenity. Find out how to allow the flow of Life to carry you along to your perfect good and the highest good of all.
Katie O’Toole is a human sparkler. Every day she chooses joy, no matter what life chooses for her. She started drinking at 11, got sober at 16 and has been sober 33 years. She defines her life by love and service.
Rob Snow lost his best friend in a sky diving accident. Then a strange thing happened: Joel spoke to Rob in a dream. He had a message. Rob followed through on it and just might have saved a life.
Poetry has the power to save lives. It saved Honey Bell-Bey from a life of poverty and the pain of having no father around. Now she uses her words as a tool for social justice.
Cancer gave Greg Justice an expiration date he refuses to honor. He shares how to squeeze more life out of the life you have left, no matter how long that is.
The shortcut to serenity is to pause often. Imagine how much kinder the world would be if we all paused before speaking, posting and texting.
Judge Joan Synenberg balances justice with mercy and compassion. She aims to “act justly, love mercy and walk humbly” with God.
The C word can make people flee. We all know someone who has been diagnosed with cancer. How can you best help? Too often, we don’t know what to do, so we do nothing.
There’s a better way: Ask what’s needed. Offer what you do best.
He talks about how to minimize the mountains in front of you and manage the hills that they become.
She’s no longer here, but I share her with you so she can inject her joy into your heart and into the hearts of everyone you love. Her life reminds me that joy is always an option.
Choose joy, no matter what life has chosen for you.
Matthew became a Professional Association of Diving Instructors certified rescue scuba diver with over 200 dives. He talks about the beauty of coming face to face with a giant oceanic manta ray.
Vicki is an artist who creates jewelry that carries inspirational messages so you can “carry your message” wherever you go.
Jen also uses her voice to champion for her son so others will celebrate who he is in the world.
The best thing he does every day is to create. Right now, he paints giant murals that inspire and challenge people to do more and to be more, and to remember that together, we are stronger than ever.
After giving himself a second chance, he became a writer, winery owner and a community activist who gives others second chances. He uses his voice to transform the lives of others, to lift people out of financial poverty and that poverty of spirit that keeps people in bondage long after they’re released from prison.
Every day, he reflects on the moments where God peeked into his life. He goes to bed with a grateful heart so he'll wake up with one.
She’s a world-class keynote speaker, author and life coach with more than three decades of experience. DeLores uses her voice to empower and motivate people to take inspired action, be confident and live, what she calls, “their most marvelous life.”
For 17 years, Tracey served as Dean of Trinity Episcopal Cathedral, a thriving and diverse urban congregation devoted to Cleveland and its future.
Now her future is a mystery, one her faith is strong enough to face.
Racism might not define a person, but it does shape how we each experience and express ourselves and how we respond to the world around us.
Cardiologist Terry Gordon looks at all the adversity in his life as a gift from God, not a punishment.
Yvonne Pointer’s daughter, Gloria, was brutally murdered on her way to school. Gloria was just 14. Despite the horror, Yvonne never gave up hope. Gloria’s death gave her a calling she didn’t ask for. Yvonne spent the next 29 years being the voice victims of violent crimes needed to hear.
When the pain was unbearable, she prayed for God to take her. “I no longer have a reason to live,” she said. God told her, “I will be your reason” and led her to the song, “You are my reason for living.”
After 29 years, police finally found the man who killed her daughter. When she visited him in prison, he wept and begged to die. Yvonne sang him the song that gave her hope.
She is currently working on a book “Hope Notices” and shares her #tinymorningsketch every day on social media where you can meet an elephant picking sparkleberries, a banjo playing bear and a dog named Henry who is the BFF to a little girl named Hope.
Karen calls the excitement of creating a “high wire act” she doesn’t want to miss.
Mary faced poverty, racism and child neglect with a fierceness and clarity of spirit that allowed her to turn personal pain into power, hurt into help for others. She wrote 28 lessons for African-American families, one for each day of Black History Month. She also wrote, “Wisdom Warriors” featuring a child named Skye and her wise grandparents.
Danielle grew up watching Channel 3 and wanted to be on TV. Now she’s a star on the station with her signature smile that lights up Cleveland.
Connie gives a voice to the working class through the characters in her novel, Samantha, Ellie and Brick. She writes of their hidden longings, the sacrifices they make and the knock on the door that rocks their world.
Thrity Umrigar has written 11 books and is a professor of English at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland.
The pandemic has opened up a portal to re-center and reset our lives. Now is the time to dive in and take better care of the self and the Self through mindfulness, creative outlets and listening to the nurturing voice within.
Katie shares how she went from a former “bench warmer” who hated running a mile to rowing across the ocean and running a marathon a week.
Akron A.A. archivist Gail L. talks about how a light came into the world in 1935 and shattered the darkness for countless alcoholics. A.A. offers a spiritual program of recovery founded on 12 suggested steps.
Jimmy Malone talks about the difference between racism and racial bias, about the need for minorities to become decision makers and how he tries every day to make one person’s life better.
The brain surgery lasted nine hours. It left Monica with some nerve damage, a ten-inch scar and more resilience than she knew she had. She uses it all to inspire others to face their health issues head on and to own their recovery.
If you want to turn away from fear and return to your truest Self, do the two simple things Sarah does every day: Smile and connect to nature every chance you can.
Kevin Adelstein, CEO of the Cleveland Jewish News, offers insights on how to hold it together and how to stay together as a couple when faced with adversity. His newborn son stopped breathing and suffered brain damage. Cooper is now 23 and rocks Kevin’s world with joy.
Instead of eating for entertainment, use this time to create a new, loving relationship with food. Only eat food that will love you back so you stay your healthiest.
Romona Robinson is an award-winning TV journalist who became the first African-American female to anchor TV news in Cleveland. She’s also the author of “A Dirt Road to Somewhere” and “Your Voice is Your Power.”
Romona suffered four miscarriages and could not have children, She turned that grief into grit and empowered and elevated the lives of thousands of youth all over Cleveland.
Romona’s Kids are now using their voices to empower others.
Snow and ice delayed USAir Flight 405 from leaving the gate at LaGuardia. Shortly after takeoff, the plane dipped then cartwheeled off the runway and crashed into Flushing Bay.
Kendra St. Charles ended up in the icy bay surrounded by flames. A broken rib punctured her lung. The fire burned her lungs, hands and face.
Recovery was long and hard. She shares what it took for her to fly again and to soar back into life.
“We all have our crashes,” she tells people. The key is to get up and go on living, even when it’s hard.
Little Detours with Regina Brett is a weekly podcast to help you create a life you love out of the life you have.