A Little Help For Our Friends: Recent Episodes

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Most people think therapy means talking about your past for years. But what if that's not always true?

In this episode, Dr. Kibby is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Chandler Chang, founder of Therapy Lab, to explore how mental health treatment is changing. They discuss why many people expect therapy to last indefinitely, how targeted, evidence-based treatments can often help much more quickly, and why matching the right treatment to the right problem matters.

Dr. Chandler explains Therapy Lab's unique approach of creating focused treatment plans for specific challenges like panic attacks, insomnia, breakups, self-esteem, and anxiety. Together, they discuss the difference between long-term supportive therapy and goal-oriented treatment, why exposure therapy is so effective for anxiety disorders, and how setting clear expectations can improve outcomes.

They also dive into the future of mental health, including AI, personalized treatment, and whether technology will replace therapists or simply make therapy more effective. Along the way, they explore what makes human connection so valuable, where AI can genuinely help, and where it may unintentionally make things worse.

Whether you've been curious about therapy, wondered if it has to take years, or are interested in where mental health care is headed, this conversation offers a thoughtful look at what the future could look like.

Resources:

• Check out Therapy Lab
• Follow Dr. Chandler Chang on IG
• If you need help dealing with a loved one with mental illness or addiction, apply to work with Dr. Kibby in KulaMind

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This episode breaks down practical strategies for getting more out of therapy and the common mistakes that can quietly get in the way of real progress.

Have you ever left a therapy session feeling better for an hour, only to find yourself stuck in the exact same patterns a week later? Or wondered why someone can spend years in therapy without seeming to change?

In this episode, Dr. Kibby explores the habits that often prevent therapy from being effective. She talks about emotional avoidance, people pleasing, staying in "problem talk" instead of focusing on change, and why honesty with your therapist matters more than trying to be the "perfect" client. She also explains how to choose the right therapist, what questions to ask before starting treatment, and why the work that happens between sessions is just as important as what happens during them.

Whether you're in therapy yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers practical ways to make treatment more meaningful and increase the chances that it leads to lasting change.

Resources:

• Chapman, A. L., & Rosenthal, M. Z. (2016). Managing therapy-interfering behavior: Strategies from dialectical behavior therapy. American Psychological Association.

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This episode shares practical strategies for how to talk to a loved one who is struggling with mental health about getting therapy.

Have you ever said to someone "You need therapy" or "why don't you get help?" when they seem like they're struggling? Then what do you do if your loved one clearly needs help but feels defensive, misunderstood, or convinced that therapy isn’t the answer? And what happens when your urgency to help only makes them push back harder? In this episode, Dr. Kibby breaks down why people resist treatment, how shame, fear, and loss of autonomy can get in the way, and why trying to convince someone usually backfires. She explains how to shift from pressure to partnership by listening first, validating their experience, finding common ground, and focusing on the outcome you both want. Along the way, she shares real-life examples from family, relationships, and clinical work, including how to support someone who is in crisis while still preserving dignity whenever possible.

Dr. Kibby also breaks down science-backed, methods that clinicians use to talk to someone about engaging in treatment. She goes through the LEAP method and motivational interviewing techniques that work with people who need help but don't think they have a problem. Whether you’re dealing with a partner, parent, adult child, or friend, this episode offers a clear framework for having harder conversations with more empathy, less conflict, and a better chance of real change.

Resources:

• Need help dealing with a difficult family member who's struggling with mental health? Dr. Kibby can help through her program⁠⁠ KulaMind⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Books on the LEAP method

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In this episode, Dr. Kibby shares her deeply personal story of infertility, attachment trauma, and the unexpected path that led her to motherhood.

How do you build a family when the journey doesn’t go the way you planned? And what happens when control, willpower, and even the best-laid plans aren’t enough? In this honest and vulnerable episode, Dr. Kibby opens up about the heartbreak, uncertainty, and inner work that shaped her path to becoming a mother. She explains why trusting her gut became the turning point in her journey, and how letting go of rigid expectations made space for something greater than she imagined. Along the way, she reveals how attachment trauma influenced her relationships, how emotional safety and vulnerability became essential, and why infertility is so much more complex than most people realize. She talks about the limits of pure logic when it comes to family, the role of intuition in life-changing decisions, and how faith, surrender, and resilience can help us move through the unknown.

Whether you’re navigating fertility challenges, relationship pain, or simply trying to trust yourself more deeply, this episode offers compassion, insight, and hope.If you’ve ever wondered whether you should keep pushing, let go, or trust your inner voice, this conversation will meet you where you are. You’ll leave with a new perspective on motherhood, healing, and the surprising ways a family can come together.

Resources:

• Need help dealing with a difficult family member who's struggling with mental health? Dr. Kibby can help through her program⁠ KulaMind⁠
• ⁠Follow Dr. Kibby on Instagram⁠
• Dr. Kibby telling the story of ⁠The Story Collider⁠

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In this episode, Dr. Amy Todey joins Dr. Kibby to talk about the generational divide in modern families and how families can navigate difficult relationships.

Are Boomer parents all narcissists? Or are the younger generations just fragile snowflakes? In this episode, Dr. Amy Todey joins Dr. Kibby to discuss how the generational divide in family relationships is deeper (and more fragile) than most of us realize. Dr. Amy Todey is a clinical psychologist who specializes in coparenting and family relationships. In this conversation, she reveals why conflicts between parents, adult children, and grandparents often stem from misaligned values and unspoken wounds, and how understanding these differences can lead to repair, not rupture. She shares surprising insights on why modern families fracture, how labels like "narcissist" obscure the real issues, and the quiet power of boundaries rooted in love and accountability. They also discuss the risk of the rise in "cut-off" or estrangement culture.

In this eye-opening conversation, you'll discover practical frameworks for navigating emotional safety and reconciliation across generations. Dr. Todey discusses the importance of honoring your own story while holding space for others’, offering concrete strategies to set boundaries without severing connections. She explores how societal shifts are fueling family conflicts, and what you can do to foster belonging despite these tensions. Dr. Kibby and Dr. Todey explore how to recognize when to cut off or lean in, the role of forgiveness in healing familial wounds, and the common pitfalls that keep families stuck in cycles of estrangement.

Whether you're navigating the challenges of aging parents, estranged siblings, or strained grandparent relationships, you'll leave with tangible tools to foster understanding, love, and resilience in your family, no matter how complex or imperfect.

Resources:

• Need help dealing with a difficult family member? Dr. Kibby can help through her program KulaMind
• Dr. Amy Todey's Website
• Dr. Amy Todey's Instagram

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This episode explores the biology and nature of anger in borderline personality disorder ("BPD Rage") and practical strategies family members, friends and partners can use to respond to BPD rage.

Some people get angry, while some people just see red. In this episode, Dr. Kibby lifts the veil on what’s happening in the brain during these emotional storms and shares proven strategies to manage, soothe, and respond effectively. You might feel helpless as your loved one spirals into a rage that lasts for hours, fueled by triggers deep in their brain’s emotional wiring. Dr. Kibby unpacks why BPD rage is so overwhelming, rooted in hyper-reactive amygdalas, weak prefrontal regulation, and a cascade of shame and rejection fears. It's not about bad character or being "evil," but a biological response, amplified by social triggers like betrayal, abandonment, or misunderstood intentions. These emotional storms often appear suddenly, with the flip of a switch, and how they can mimic psychosis or demon-like behavior, leaving loved ones terrified and powerless. Dr. Kibby breaks down the neuroscience behind BPD rage, including the brain’s regulatory pathways.

Then, the conversation offers practical, research-backed communication techniques that help de-escalate these heightened states. Dr. Kibby shares specific scripts and real-life stories that reveal how these tools can prevent escalation, reduce personal attacks, and promote healing instead of blame. Learn why acknowledging the emotional experience, rather than dismissing it, is crucial for injury prevention and long-term connection. Most importantly, she emphasizes that setting boundaries around dangerous behavior isn’t about blame- it’s about safety and self-care. Whether you’re a parent, partner, or therapist, this episode offers a compassionate, no-nonsense blueprint to handle BPD rage.

Resources:

• Talk to Dr. Kibby about KulaMind⁠, where she supports people dealing with their loved ones' emotional issues
• Mitolo, M., D’Adda, F., Evangelisti, S., Pellegrini, L., Gramegna, L. L., Bianchini, C., ... & Tonon, C. (2024). Emotion dysregulation, impulsivity and anger rumination in borderline personality disorder: the role of amygdala and insula. European archives of psychiatry and clinical neuroscience, 274(1), 109-116.

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This episode describes how to respond when a teen, adolescent or young adult says they want to hurt themselves or kill themselves.

It's horrifying when someone as young as 12-20 years old says they want to take their own life. When a teen or young adult confesses thoughts of hurting themselves or even hints at a plan, panic often kicks in...but what you do next can mean the difference between life and tragedy. In this episode, Dr. Kibby describes how you can transform fear into effective, life-saving support. If you're a parent, clinician, educator, or anyone caring for at-risk youth, this episode will change your perspective on how to handle these terrifying moments with compassion, clarity, and confidence. In this honest conversation, you'll discover why traditional reactions often do more harm than good and how shifting from control to understanding can unlock trust and safety.

Dr. Kibby shares insights from her nearly lifelong work with mental health crises as well as adolescent and family Dialectical Behavior Therapy expert Dr. Marcus Rodriguez. Drawing from what she learned from Dr. Rodriguez, she emphasizes the importance of treating the whole family and system instead of isolated individuals. You'll learn why vague answers from teens are actually a sign of trust-building, not apathy or indifference, and how impulsivity heightens the risk of dangerous behaviors that require immediate, delicate intervention. We break down practical, step-by-step frameworks for assessing suicidality, from asking direct questions about plans and access to means, to understanding the importance of safety measures like environment restriction and involving the support system. You’ll hear specific scripts designed to validate pain without validating harmful coping strategies, and how to balance genuine empathy with concrete safety protocols.

The core message: you’re not just stopping a moment of crisis- you're working with the teen, their family, and their community, to understand their pain and help them find hope. Interpersonal triggers like breakups, bullying, and social rejection are particularly devastating for teens, and how they differ from adult experiences. Dr. Kibby describes how you can meet teens where they are, by respecting their vague answers, impulsive actions, and emotional intensity, and why working systemically is essential for lasting safety.

Remember: Asking directly about suicide does not plant the idea; it saves lives. Whether you’re facing an immediate crisis or working to prevent one, this episode is your essential guide to understanding and intervening with care, respect, and hope.

Trigger warning: Sensitive topics discussed include self-harm, suicidal ideation, and family trauma.If you’re involved with teens or young adults, or if you simply want to learn how to support someone in their darkest hour, this episode is a must-listen.

Resources:

• Parents, partners and other loved ones of people struggling with self harm and suicide, check out ⁠⁠KulaMind⁠⁠. Book a free call with Dr. Kibby to learn how she can help.
• Adolescents, teens and families in California in crisis should learn about Dr. Rodriguez's Dialectical Behavior Therapy program at Youth and Family Institute

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This episode explores the complexities of Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) and its impact on relationships.

Are you close to someone who's charming but unreliable, impulsive, and manipulative? Dr. Kibby delves into the behaviors often associated with ASPD, a personality disorder that comes with a pattern of violating other people's rights, lack of empathy, and dangerous behaviors for thrill or power. She discusses nuanced differences between ASPD and other disorders, and learn how to navigate relationships with individuals who exhibit these traits.

Dr. Kibby discusses potential treatments, including cognitive behavioral therapy and mentalization-based therapy, and offers strategies for loved ones to set boundaries and motivate change. This episode is essential for anyone struggling to understand a loved one's challenging behavior and seeking effective ways to cope and connect.

Resources:

If you need support with a difficult relationship with someone who has mental health problems (antisocial personality disorder, narcissism, anger issues, BPD, trauma), check out ⁠KulaMind⁠. Book a free call with Dr. Kibby to learn how she can help.

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This episode dives into the mental health conditions and behaviors often mistaken for narcissism.

When someone you love struggles with mental health and acts selfishly, the internet will immediately tell you that they're "a narcissist." However, you might be overlooking an underlying condition that just looks like narcissism on the surface. In this episode, Dr. Kibby reveals the five disorders frequently confused with narcissistic personality disorder, including: 1. borderline personality disorder; 2. attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD); 3. autism, 4. complex post traumatic stress disorder (cPTSD), and 5.obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD).

Dr. Kibby breaks down why these five conditions share similar behavior as narcissistic personality disorder but have critical differences in deeper motivation, triggers and beliefs. For example, BPD’s intense fear of abandonment mirrors narcissistic fears of devaluation, yet stems from different core needs. Understand how autism’s social deficits and rigid rules can appear as arrogance but are rooted in neurodivergent processes. Trauma disorders like complex PTSD create self-protective behaviors in relationships, driven by past wounds needing healing. ADHD can be mistaken for selfishness, reflecting impulsivity and attention struggles.

This episode is essential if you’re frustrated by how a loved one's treating you but you get the sense that the label "narcissist" doesn't tell the whole story. Misdiagnosing these conditions can lead to frustration and missed opportunities for connection. Learn the nuanced distinctions that empower you to respond with empathy and insight, whether in personal relationships or professional settings.

Resources:

• If you need support with a difficult relationship with someone who has mental health problems (narcissism, anger issues, BPD, trauma), check out KulaMind. Book a free call with Dr. Kibby to learn how she can help.

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This episode breaks down what manipulation is and why it's so common in relationships with people struggling with mental health. It also gives actionable strategies for resisting the effects of manipulation.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you found it hard to think for yourself? You somehow make decisions that are out of character and doubt yourself so much, you're not sure what's real? In this episode, Dr. Kibby exposes the truth behind these tactics: what manipulation really is, how it shows up, and most importantly, how to regain control.

Deep dive ahead: you'll discover why manipulation isn’t always "evil," but an abuse of normal strategies for communication and social influence. We're being manipulated all the time by ads, entertainment, sales, and even our health providers. But it becomes harmful when it robs you of your autonomy and sacrifices your wellbeing for the manipulator's gain. Dr. Kibby unpacks concrete tactics, like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, love withdrawal, surveillance, and coercive control, that abusers use to undermine your decision-making. She explores how these tactics often leverage your vulnerabilities and blur your sense of choice and agency, whether in romantic, family, or workplace dynamics.

Feeling manipulated is common in relationships with people with mental illnesses like borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, or trauma. Actually BOTH the individual with disorders and their loved ones often feel manipulated. Dr. Kibby also breaks down the research behind manipulation in BPD and narcissistic abuse.

Why does this matter? Because understanding these subtle tactics can protect your mental well-being, help you spot emotional tricks early, and empower you to set healthier boundaries. This episode offers practical strategies and tools to disarm manipulation’s grip and reclaim your personal agency. Whether you're navigating toxic family ties, romantic relationships, or workplace conflicts, this episode reveals the unseen manipulative tactics at play and how to dismantle them.

Resources:

• If you need more hands-on help with feeling manipulated by people with mental health or addiction challenges, check out ⁠KulaMind

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This episode talks about setting healthy boundaries in high-conflict relationships with people who have intense, dysregulated emotions.

If you're in an emotionally charged or high-conflict relationship, you struggle to say "no" or assert yourself. If you’ve ever felt blindsided, criticized, or powerless in high-conflict moments with loved ones, this episode reveals the proven framework that transforms chaos into clarity. Dr. Kibby talks about common mistakes with setting boundaries that make things even worse. Because boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, she shares the secret sauce from Dialectical Behavior Therapy and clinical science to set boundaries that stick without escalating fights. You’ll learn how to communicate precisely, protect your autonomy, and foster genuine connection even when emotions run high.

Plus, she shares real-life examples (like managing rage outbursts from loved ones with trauma or mental health challenges) and how to respond without losing your mind or your heart. Whether you’re navigating family drama, a difficult partner, or teen conflicts, mastering these boundary skills can prevent burnout and create healthier, more resilient relationships. Tune in and learn how to turn high-conflict moments into opportunities for growth and mutual understanding.

Resources:

• If you need more hands-on help with setting boundaries in your high-conflict relationships, check out KulaMind

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This episode talks about how mood, especially dysregulated emotions, affect memory. It explains why people with emotional issues may have such a different perspective and memory for things that happened in the past.

If you're close to someone with big emotions, you've probably gotten into an argument with them about something you remember...very differently than they do. You bring up something that happened and they'll say "that never happened!", leaving you to question your whole reality. In this episode, Dr. Kibby delves into why the "that never happened" argument happens so often. What if your loved one is genuinely remembering a fight differently- and that difference isn’t about manipulation, but about how your brain reconstructs trauma and emotion? This episode dives deep into the science of how mood, trauma, and dysregulation distort memory, often making "truth" feel entirely relative.

Dr. Kibby discusses why borderline personality disorder, trauma, or anxiety see the world and their memories through a skewed lens, and how this impacts trust, communication, and conflict resolution. She describes frameworks like mood-congruent bias and affect-as-information, which explain how emotions activate specific memory networks, creating a battlefield of conflicting recollections.

This episode also breaks down practical strategies for coming to a resolution when someone has a very different version of events. Learn how to respond when someone insists "that didn’t happen," or accuses you of things you don’t remember without gaslighting or invalidating their experience. You’ll hear about the dangers of false memories, how negative content is more memorable, and why gaslighting often involves wielding power over someone’s very sense of reality.

If you've ever wondered whether their reality is "crazy" or if you're losing your mind, this episode will give you the understanding and tactics you need to foster compassion, clarity, and peaceful communication.

Resources:

• KulaMind for support with loved ones with emotional issues
• Joshi, G., Rathore, T., & Verma, K. (2025). Emotion-induced memory distortions: Insights from deese-roediger-mcdermott and misinformation paradigms—A comprehensive review. Health Sciences Review, 14, 100216.

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This episode features a conversation with Kaytlyn Gilner, a mental health advocate and host of the "Not So Dumb Blonde" podcast. We delve into the complexities of complex post traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) and borderline personality disorder (BPD), exploring the nuances and overlaps between these diagnoses.

If you struggle with intense negative emotions, difficulty with intimacy, low self-esteem, and dissociation, what "diagnosis" should you get? In this episode, Kaytlyn Gilner shares her personal journey of misdiagnosis and the transformative power of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Dr. Kibby and Kaytlyn break down the hot controversy over these diagnoses that pushes back on the stigma of BPD. The recent backlash against the "borderline personality disorder" label argues that a diagnosis like "complex PTSD" recognizes the symptoms as trauma responses better.

Dr. Kibby and Kaytlyn discuss the importance of understanding, setting boundaries, and the role of environment in mental health. They also talk about the power of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), the intensive outpatient treatment that teaches how to regulate emotions and relationships, no matter what diagnosis you have. This episode offers insights into how loved ones can support those struggling with intense emotions, emphasizing the need for empathy and structured support.

Resources:

• KulaMind, Dr. Kibby's program to support loved ones of people with emotion dysregulation
• Katylyn's Stop Sabotaging Your Relationships (DBT-Inspired Workbook):
  https://tr.ee/9pKDGhjuNU
• Is It an Actual Red Flag or Anxiety? (DBT-Inspired Workbook):
  https://tr.ee/GrAOWvyh1V
• To connect, collaborate, or attend an event with Kaytlyn:
  https://linktr.ee/kaytlynm
• YouTube: NotSoDumbBlondePodcast
  Instagram: @notsodumbblonde_pod

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This episode gives a step by step guide to managing mental health crises like self-harm, suicide, or overdose threats.

Most people feel completely helpless when someone they love descends into a mental health crisis but what if you had a clear, plan that could save lives? In this episode, Dr. Kibby shares the insider knowledge she gained from working in psychiatric emergency rooms and supporting families through the most dangerous moments. Whether it's a loved one overdosing, becoming violent, or threatening suicide, knowing exactly what to do can make all the difference and even prevent tragedy.

Dr.Kibby demystifies the chaos of mental health emergencies. She walks you through what really happens inside the hospital, explains how to recognize dangerous signs like alcohol withdrawal or impulsive self-harm, and reveals the untold reality of involuntary holds and crisis interventions. She shares personal stories and offers practical, repeatable steps to de-escalate crises before they escalate further.

Tune in for actionable tactics: how to create a tailored safety plan, the best emergency resources like 988 and mobile crisis teams, and when to call 911 versus seek professional help. You’ll learn concrete warning signs and calming techniques from DBT skills, as well as how to assemble your support network in advance. Safety planning isn’t just for professionals- it’s your first line of defense. With clear advice rooted in real-world experience, this episode equips you to act decisively when it matters most. Don’t wait for a crisis to strike! Prepare now, protect those you love, and reclaim your peace of mind.

Resources:

• Safety Plan Template
• Dr. Kibby's quick guide for managing an emotional outburst (for free)

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This episode gives parents of adults with borderline personality disorder insights into the experience of parenting someone with BPD and strategies for supporting their children.

When your child struggles with intense emotions, it's heartbreaking for any parent. But when you're a parent of an adult child with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you're walking on eggshells trying not to make things worse. In this episode, Dr. Kibby shares powerful, research-backed strategies for parents of grown children with intense emotions, revealing how your approach can prevent crises from escalating and rebuild vital connections.

You’ll discover why family dynamics often reinforce emotional storms, and how shifting your perspective can de-escalate fights before they explode. Dr. Kibby breaks down practical, compassionate tools like validation, boundary-setting, and safety planning—skills that empower you to stay calm and present, even when your loved one is in chaos.

Plus, she reveals why involving the whole family system is essential, not just the individual with BPD, and how to handle crisis moments like threats or self-harm without reinforcing harmful behaviors. We’ll also explore the impact of trauma, shame, and guilt that parents carry and how your own mental health is intertwined with theirs.

If you’re exhausted by cycles of overwhelm, blame, or hopelessness, this episode is your guide to navigating the unthinkable with clarity and kindness. Perfect for parents, partners, or anyone supporting someone with borderline or emotional dysregulation.

Resources:

• Join KulaMind, Dr. Kibby's support program for parents and partners of people with BPD
• Book: Stop Walking on Eggshells for Parents: How to Help Your Child (of Any Age) with Borderline Personality Disorder without Losing Yourself

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This episode explores the psychology of why we chase emotionally unavailable partners.

Are you caught in a cycle of pursuing those who seem just out of reach? In this episode, Dr. Kibby delves into the psychology behind why we chase those who are hard to get. She talks about to main principles that drive this behavior, from behavioral economics to the neurobiology of attachment.

She unpacks the attachment patterns that lead to the "pursuit-withdrawal" cycle, where anxious and avoidant attachments clash, creating a loop of emotional highs and lows. Through personal anecdotes and scientific insights, Dr. Kibby reveals how these patterns are rooted in our upbringing and survival mechanisms. Learn strategies to break free from this cycle, including emotion regulation techniques and the importance of secure attachments.

Resources:

• Johnson, S. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love.
• Tatkin, S. (2012). Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship.

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This episode is a conversation with Dr. Cam Caswell, "The Teen Translator," about how to actually connect to your teen who's struggling.

Most parents feel powerless when it comes to connecting with their teens (or a loved one that ACTS like a teen), especially when they struggle with anxiety, depression, or other intense pain. In this episode, Dr. Kibby gets golden insights from Dr. Cam, an adolescent psychologist, parenting coach, TEDx speaker, and host of the Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam podcast. The conversation delves into how can you actually support someone who can't handle their emotions, is in distress, but shuts you out? Parents of teens are all too familiar with this dynamic, but so are loved ones of grown adults who have the emotion regulation of a teenager.

Dr. Cam reveals that the key to guiding teens isn’t what most of us believe. Instead of controlling or punishing, she advocates for understanding, respect, and building trust, even when your teenager buries their face in their phone. Dr. Cam challenges your assumptions about parenting and equip you with practical, compassionate strategies to foster a secure, trusting relationship with your teen before the storm hits. Imagine transforming the typical power struggle into a partnership based on empathy and understanding.

Dr. Cam shares her journey from a communications background to becoming a leading expert in adolescent psychology, and how her insights can help any parent navigate the turbulent teen years. You'll discover how the brain’s development during adolescence makes traditional discipline ineffective, and why connection (rather than control) is the secret to cultivating resilience, independence, and open communication. From setting compassionate boundaries to understanding social media’s role, this episode is packed with actionable advice to foster emotional safety and trust at every stage. This conversation breaks down:

• Why fear and control undermine your influence and how to replace them with connection
• Practical ways to build trust that encourages your teen to share honestly - even during crises
• How to set clear boundaries without punishing, and why respect is the foundation of safety
• The truth about mental health struggles in teens today and how societal stigma and technology impact them
• Simple daily habits to foster emotional regulation, resilience, and autonomy in your loved ones

In a world full of digital distractions, social pressures, and fears about safety, this episode offers a new blueprint: meet your teen where they are, understand them deeply, and lead with love, not fear.

Resources:

• Dr. Cam's website
• Find her on Instagram: @drcamcaswell
• Podcast: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam

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This episode explains what schizotypal and schizoid personality disorders are, how they're diagnosed, and what treatments may work.

Do you know anyone who marches to the beat of their own drum?...Even drums that no one else can hear? Most people with schizoid or schizotypal personality disorder are misunderstood, yet their unique traits can be seen as adaptive or even vital in the right context. Dr. Kibby challenges the negative stereotypes around these "odd" personalities. In this episode, she delves into the subtle yet profound distinctions between schizoid and schizotypal personalities.

She breaks down how schizoid individuals thrive off solitude, resembling the iconic Sherlock Holmes or Mr. Robot. Conversely, schizotypal personalities are more open to connection yet remain anxious and eccentric, exemplified by Luna Lovegood from "Harry Potter."

Dr. Kibby walks through key diagnostic traits like ideas of reference, magical thinking, unusual perceptual experiences, and social withdrawal. She discusses how these traits, often misunderstood, are shaped by early trauma, cultural influences, and evolutionary roles.You'll also learn about emerging, promising therapies that focus on social cognition and compassion, offering hope for better integration and self-understanding for those with schizotypal traits.

With stories from clinical practice and insights into neurodiversity, this episode invites you to rethink what it means to be "different."

Resources:

• Cheli, S., Cavalletti, V., Lysaker, P. H., Dimaggio, G., Petrocchi, N., Chiarello, F., ... & Goldzweig, G. (2023). A pilot randomized controlled trial comparing a novel compassion and metacognition approach for schizotypal personality disorder with a combination of cognitive therapy and psychopharmacological treatment. BMC psychiatry, 23(1), 113.

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This episode describes Paranoid Personality Disorder including how it's diagnosed, how it develops and how its treated.

Most people don’t realize how deeply paranoia can shape a person's entire world and how misunderstood this silent struggle really is. In this episode, Dr. Kibby unpacks the complexity of paranoid personality disorder, revealing why so many suffer in silence, feeling unseen and alone.

Dr. Kibby dives into real stories, research, and the trauma roots behind paranoia, showing how childhood neglect and trauma can ignite a persistent fear that fuels distrust. She discusses how these traits develop, why they often co-occur with other disorders like borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, and the biological underpinnings (like hyperarousal systems and genetic factors) that drive paranoia.

Based on the small literature, Dr. Kibby suggests practical approaches for managing paranoia, emphasizing the power of awareness, small behavioral experiments, and trauma-informed therapies. She shares evidence-based cognitive-behavioral strategies that anyone with paranoid traits can use to challenge their fears, build trust, and slowly open up to connection.

This episode highlights that even severe personality traits are malleable and that healing is possible with the right support and understanding. Paranoia isn’t just about distrust- it’s a protective response rooted in trauma and biology. Understanding this can unlock a path toward more connection, more safety, and less loneliness.
Resources:

• Lee, R. J. (2017). Mistrustful and misunderstood: a review of paranoid personality disorder. Current behavioral neuroscience reports, 4(2), 151-165.

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This episode explores the psychology behind the manosphere, online communities that promote men's power over women and resources.

Most men today feel more disempowered and lonely than ever, despite the world’s vast commitments of power and wealth. In this episode, Dr. Kibby exposes the psychological roots of the Manosphere- a shadowy online movement that preys on young men’s humiliation, disconnection, and search for purpose.

If you’re confused by how communities like incels and influencer figures like Andrew Tate manipulate masculinity, Dr. Kibby reveals the compelling truth behind their rise and the real power structures they serve. She uncovers the emotional and societal forces fueling the Manosphere, from the deep shame of rejection and emasculation to misguided evolutionary ideas that frame women as deceivers. This discussion breaks down how online communities exploit feelings of helplessness, offering false promises of dominance, wealth, and instant respect, which are all driven by a culture of humiliation and rage.

Dr. Kibby shares eye-opening examples from her own life, including the notorious Neil Strauss “pickup artist” movement to today’s high-profile social media figures, revealing the hypocrisy and hierarchy beneath the chaos. In this episode, you'll discover:

• The psychological triggers behind men joining the Manosphere, especially humiliation and loneliness
• How these communities distort evolutionary psychology to justify misogyny and power fantasies
• Why top male influencers maintain their dominance while most followers remain stuck in disempowerment
• Practical strategies for loved ones to support men in leaving these harmful narratives behind
• The broader societal implications of online misogyny, from mass shootings to ongoing abuse

The dangers of the manosphere creates a call to action for anyone invested in healthy masculinity and equal relationships. The real power lies in consciousness, community, and genuine respect - tune in to learn how to foster that in yourself and others.

Resources:

• Franklin-Paddock, B., Platow, M. J., & Ryan, M. K. (2025). From privilege to threat: unraveling psychological pathways to the manosphere. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 54(4), 1325-1340.

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This episode delves into the silent struggle behind avoidant personality disorder, the crippling fear of rejection, and how treatment is finally making progress.

Are you or someone you love trapped in a cycle of loneliness and fear of rejection? Recent research and real-life case studies reveal powerful new insights about avoidant personality disorder, this deeply misunderstood disorder that’s likely more common than you think. Social avoidance is especially common now, as social media and remote life intensify those feelings of inferiority and rejection.

In this episode, Dr. Kibby dives into what avoidant personality disorder is, how it’s different from social anxiety, and how core beliefs of inferiority shape every aspect of life and relationships. She discusses how avoidant personality disorder stems from beliefs originating from unmet childhood needs, and how misguided coping mechanisms (e.g. withdrawing, self-criticism, and overthinking) perpetuate emotional pain.

Dr. Kibby breaks down the latest research, including a groundbreaking 2024 clinical trial testing cognitive behavioral therapy and schema therapy for this disorder. She shares compelling case examples, illustrating how understanding and gentle, sustained therapy can help individuals slowly soften their defenses, confront their fears, and build genuine connections.

If social rejection, shame, and feelings of worthlessness dominate your life or the life of someone you care about, this episode might explain why. Learn about innovative treatment strategies that target the core beliefs fueling avoidant traits and why patience and persistence are essential for lasting change.

Resources:

• Balje, A. E., Greeven, A., Deen, M., van Giezen, A. E., Arntz, A., & Spinhoven, P. (2024). Group schema therapy versus group cognitive behavioral therapy for patients with social anxiety disorder and comorbid avoidant personality disorder: A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 104, 102860.
• Kohli, T. K., Manjula, M., Arntz, A., & Reddy, Y. J. (2026). Schema Therapy for Avoidant Personality Disorder: Working with Dysfunctional Coping Modes. Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine, 02537176261418993.

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This episode explains what it means to be diagnosed with a "personality disorder," including how psychologists understand what personality is, when it's pathological, and how clinicians diagnose it.

Is "borderline personality disorder" or "narcissistic personality disorder" a fancy term for "toxic"? In this episode, Dr. Kibby dives deeper into the nuanced way psychologists understand personality pathology. She gives an overview of the history of personality disorders and their diagnostic criteria, peeling back the stigma to reveal what’s really happening when someone gets diagnosed. She talks about why these conditions are about persistent, pervasive patterns that impact daily life, not character flaws or moral failures. In this episode, you'll hear:

• How clinicians differentiate between personality disorders and other mental health issues
• The evolution from categorical to dimensional models in modern diagnostics like the DSM-5
• The key features that make these patterns impairing and how they develop over time
• Why some people develop personality disorders
• Why flexibility and adaptation are crucial for change

Personality disorders are not about being a bad person who can't change- they’re about understanding how complex patterns shape us and learning how to rewire them.

Resources:

• Krueger, R. F., & Hobbs, K. A. (2020). An overview of the DSM-5 alternative model of personality disorders. Psychopathology, 53(3-4), 126-132.
• Personality Inventory for DSM-5
• If you're close to someone with a personality disorder and need support, book a free call with Dr. Kibby to learn more about KulaMind

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This episode is a conversation with Dr. Jonathan Avery about why addiction has so much stigma and how that has stopped patients and families from getting real help.

Most people still view addiction through a lens of shame and judgment, yet experts like Dr. Jonathan Avery are transforming how we understand and support those struggling. Dr. Avery is Vice Chair for Addiction Psychiatry and Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medicine, known for pioneering efforts to reduce stigma and elevate evidence-based care. His work has transformed lives and inspired a new approach to addiction globally.He also founded the SAFE Program (Support, Advocacy, and Family Education) to provide evidence-based support to families affected by addiction.

Dr. Kibby sits down with Dr. Avery to talk about how his personal experience with family addiction led him to develop groundbreaking programs and research to dismantle stigma, empower families, and open new pathways to recovery. In this episode, we break down:

• How addiction affects the brain and why stigma persists despite medical advances
• The innovative SAFE program supporting families affected by addiction
• Dr. Avery’s insights on challenging societal judgment and fostering compassion
• The role of advocacy, policy, and personal understanding in changing the narrative around substance use
• His upcoming book "Thriving with Addiction" and what it reveals about resilience and hope

Whether you’re supporting a loved one or seeking deep understanding, this episode is essential listening. This is your chance to hear from one of the most influential voices in addiction psychiatry who shares insights that could change the way you see and support those affected by addiction.

Resources:

• Thriving with Addiction book and podcast with Dr. Jonathan Avery

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In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Kibby shares her transformative experience at a healing retreat for breast cancer survivors, centered around a special plant medicine.

Can alternative forms of mental health treatment heal wounds that even therapy can't touch? In this episode, Dr. Kibby recounts journey of deep healing through plant medicine, facilitated by a supportive community of women and guided by expert facilitators. Alternative treatments like plant medicine (of all different types) offer new ways of addressing deep trauma. Dr. Kibby participated in a plant medicine healing retreat for breast cancer survivors, organized by The Survivorship Collective. What she thought was going to be just a fun week turned into a life-changing experience.

Dr. Kibby talks about the insights she gained about trauma, self-compassion, and the power of collective healing. She delves into the emotional aftermath of her cancer treatment, the unexpected connections between past traumas, and the unique healing potential of plant medicine within a sacred tradition practiced for generations. Dr. Kibby reflects on the importance of setting intentions, embracing vulnerability, and trusting the body's innate ability to heal.

Of course, as the field of psychiatry and clinical psychology are excited about the new treatment options- Dr. Kibby also discusses the need for caution. It's important to only engage in treatments that are legal, safe, regulated, evidence-based and monitored by careful medical supervision. Consult with your doctor or other medical provider before making treatment decisions for yourself.

Resources:

• The Survivorship Collective

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This episode describes what complex Post Traumatic Stress disorder (cPTSD) is, how it's diagnosed, and how it's different to similar disorders like PTSD and borderline personality disorder. This episode was inspired by the angry comments on Dr. Kibby's latest reel on spotting emotion dysregulation in borderline personality disorder.

When someone has a history of childhood trauma and they struggle with intense emotions, self-esteem issues, and relationship problems- what disorder do they have? In this episode, Dr. Kibby delves into the criteria for complex PTSD, which is still not an official disorder in the DSM-V. Yet, so many people struggle with symptoms from long, painful histories of trauma that has shaped their entire lives and personalities.

Dr. Kibby also discusses the nuanced differences between Complex PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder, revealing how trauma shapes self-esteem, relationships, and emotional regulation in surprising ways. If you've ever wondered why these disorders often overlap—and how understanding their distinctions can transform healing—you’ll want to hear this.

Dr. Kibby shares her own experiences with online criticism around trauma representation, sparking a deeper conversation about stigma and bias in mental health. She dives into the hidden intricacies of CPTSD, explaining why it’s often overlooked in the DSM-5 but recognized worldwide, and how prolonged trauma affects the brain’s ability to process memories, dissociate, and regulate emotions.

She also talks about how how trauma, whether overt or subtle, can lead to complex self-protection mechanisms that impact every aspect of life. Then she finishes with listing the best evidence-based treatments, from prolonged exposure to cognitive processing therapy and DBT, tailored for each disorder’s unique challenges.

She emphasizes the power of compassion and personalized treatment over stigma, advocating for a mental health field that treats all disorders with empathy and respect. Why diagnosis isn’t about labels- it's a pathway to personalized healing and recovery.

Resources:

• Sarr, R., Quinton, A., Spain, D., & Rumball, F. (2024). A Systematic Review of the Assessment of ICD‐11 Complex Post‐Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) in Young People and Adults. Clinical psychology & psychotherapy, 31(3), e3012.
• Simon, J. J., Spiegler, K., Coulibaly, K., Stopyra, M. A., Friederich, H. C., Gruber, O., & Nikendei, C. (2025). Beyond diagnosis: symptom patterns across complex PTSD and borderline personality disorder. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 16, 1668821.

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This episode is an interview with Mike Meaney, CEO and founder of One Small Step that provides peer support to people with mental health and addiction crises. He discusses his own personal recovery journey that inspired him to become a certified peer.

Most of us underestimate how critical peer support can be in mental health and addiction recovery- until we hear stories like Mike’s, who turned his personal struggles into a groundbreaking platform that saves lives during nights and weekends when traditional help is scarce.

In this powerful episode, Mike Meaney shares his deeply personal journey from blackout drinking at 16 to building a platform for certified peer support that’s transforming mental health care. Dr. Kibby and Mike discuss how lived experience combined with innovative technology is closing gaps in access, especially when emergency services aren’t the right answer.

Failing to recognize the power of peer support leaves millions vulnerable in their darkest hours, missing out on an accessible, stigma-reducing lifeline. For anyone battling addiction, mental health challenges, or supporting someone who is, this episode reveals a hopeful path forward, grounded in authenticity and innovation.

If you’re tired of the same old approaches and want to see how empathy combined with tech can revolutionize mental health care, this conversation is essential listening.

Mike Meaney is CEO of One Small Step, a platform dedicated to on-demand peer support supported by clinical supervision, revolutionizing how people access help in their most vulnerable moments.

Resources:

• One Small Step website

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In this episode, Dr. Kibby breaks down the psychology behind the "Man-Child Syndrome," when men stay emotionally immature and avoid real responsibility.

Do you know a grown man who clearly wants to stay a boy forever? Maybe he's fun, charismatic, adventurous and creative but...he runs away from adulthood. He's afraid of commitment, avoids responsibilities, and expects everyone else to take care of him. If so, you're familiar with the Man-Child Syndrome.

Dr. Kibby analyzes the "Man-Child" (also called the "Peter Pan Syndrome") and discusses the tell-tale signs of a man-child, what's underneath the boyish behavior, and how psychological theories explain why he refuses to grow up. At the core of this type of toxic immaturity is the avoidance of the hardships of adult life: the tedious work of building a career, the mundane problems of a serious relationship, and the pain of going out of our comfort zones. The Man-Child runs away from any limitations to his freedom and fun, but that usually means he's taking advantage of someone in the process.

This episode also discusses how the Man-Child syndrome is a growing form of narcissism: Men lost in fantasies, too special to suffer like ordinary people, and avoidant of accountability. All of these tendencies point to traits of narcissistic personality disorder, even if it's hard to spot at first.

If you're struggling with a man-child and need support, check out KulaMind for real skills and community for dealing with this toxic relationship.

Tell us in the comments what you think of the "Man-Child Syndrome"!

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This episode shares five mindset shifts that helped Dr. Kibby stop chasing toxic relationships and finally find a real life partner.

How do you know when you've found "the one"? Disney movies and rom coms aside, how do we even figure out who should we spend the rest of our lives with? Dr. Kibby breaks down the five giant shifts in perspective that led her to the right husband: choosing a partner who can truly care for you “in sickness and in health,” ending the urge to heal childhood wounds by repeating old patterns, prioritizing someone who will be a strong co-parent, and valuing a partner who can reliably handle life’s logistics. If you’ve felt like you’re parenting a grown adult, walking on eggshells, or stuck in the same exhausting cycle, these shifts offer a practical path out- grounded in therapy breakthroughs, grief work, and different choices from day one.

Dr. Kibby shares stories about how and when she made those mindset shifts (including navigating cancer with a supportive partner) and clear criteria to follow in dating. Notice when despair after a fight is really an old wound asking for care- not another round of fixing someone else.

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This episode is an interview with Erin Lin, the director of the movie "Rosemead" starring Lucy Liu and Lawrence Shou.

How do you turn a haunting true story about family mental illness into a national conversation about stigma? This is the third and final episode of the series diving into the movie "Rosemead," a moving true story about how a Chinese immigrant mother (played by Lucy Liu) faces schizophrenia, stigma, and the fear of becoming a burden. In this episode, director Eric Lin shares how he was able to create such a honest, complex portrait of mental illness in a marginalized family.

Eric opens up about seeing his own family dynamics reflected in the script: the pressure to appear strong, the instinct to hide hard truths, and the painful isolation that grows when a community doesn’t have the language or resources to help. We go behind the camera to explore how the team built an honest, human portrayal of psychosis. Eric drew from first-person accounts and documentaries to shape psychotic episodes that feel present yet accessible. That craft choice keeps Joe grounded in our empathy rather than lost in stereotype. We also confront the delicate thread tying public fear of mass shootings to mental illness, and why the film refuses sensational shortcuts while acknowledging a parent’s very real terror.

The finale gets the care it deserves: Lucy Liu’s performance arrives in a single, shattering take for the devastating ending. The result is not shock for its own sake, but a moment that honors love, loss, and the cost of silence.

If you care about mental health, immigrant family dynamics, or the ethics of portraying schizophrenia on screen, you’ll find a lot to resonate with. Go see "Rosemead" in theaters so you don't miss being part of the conversation.

Resources:

• Rosemead on IG: @rosemeadfilm
• Erin Lin on IG: @holdtheframe

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.
• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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This episode is an interview with Lawrence Shou, the star of the movie "Rosemead" alongside Lucy Liu.

A headline never tells the whole story, and the movie "Rosemead" refuses to let us look away. In this episode, star of "Rosemead," Lawrence Shou, unpacks a true-story-inspired film about a Chinese immigrant mother (played by Lucy Liu), a teenage son named Joe (Shou) navigating schizophrenia, and the quiet heartbreak that unfolds when love collides with stigma and a patchwork mental health system. Lawrence brings us inside his process of weeks of research, clinician interviews, and on-set practices that made his performance so hauntingly real.

Our conversation traces how psychosis actually presents: not just shouting or destruction, but blankness, withdrawal, and a mind overloaded by grief and fear. Lawrence explains how Joe’s symptoms are shaped by trauma and context, including anxiety about mass shootings and the loss of his father. We talk about cultural pressures in immigrant families: why silence can feel safer than asking for help and how that silence magnifies risk.

Lawrence shares how reframing treatment as a path to agency, combined with psychoeducation and community support, can make a tangible difference for families who are exhausted and scared. If you’ve ever wondered what schizophrenia looks like up close, how to avoid snap judgments, or how to show up when someone you love is slipping away, this episode is for you.

"Rosemead" is out in theaters January 9th. Go see it to join the conversation on how we're failing marginalized families with mental illness.

Resources:

• Connect to Lawrence on IG: @lawrenceshou
• Stay updated on Rosemead through IG: @rosemeadfilm

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.
• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Well, 2025 is almost over and by all accounts, it was one of the hardest for mental health across America. The past year felt like emotional sandpaper: unstable jobs, AI anxiety, and a constant stream of obligations that made even simple days feel crowded. Beneath all that noise, a quieter force did much of the damage: loneliness. In this episode, Dr. Kibby unpacks why January often hits hardest after the holidays, why being surrounded by people can still feel empty, and how one-way relationships quietly burn us out.

Dr. Kibby discusses a candid look at over-giving, how being so focused on other people can lead to a sneaky sense of loneliness. She breaks loneliness into three solvable parts: 1. Building real emotional support, 2. Being seen for who we really are, and 3. Restoring reciprocity so care flows both ways.

She also talks about finding community where you might not expect it. If your local circle doesn’t yet hold the parts of you that crave air, that’s a bridge, not a dead end. The goal isn’t more social plans; it’s richer resonance. By focusing on one small habit each week (one ask, one honest share, one reciprocal ritual) you can turn the quiet of January into a reset for connection.

Happy new year, Little Helpers. We're grateful for this community and see you in 2026

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Ever felt like your worth depends on how useful you are to other people? Turning the big 4-0 pushed me to confront a lifelong habit of people pleasing. In this episode, I talk about people pleasing: how it took root in chaos, hid behind “being nice,” and quietly drained my energy, confidence, and joy. I unpack what research says about what "people pleasing" is, how chronic pleasing links to mental health issues, and why so many of us end up orbiting charismatic "takers" who love the spotlight while we shrink to keep them happy.

I dig into the "Echo- Narcissus Syndrome": the dynamic between a people-pleaser and a narcissist. I talk about my own tendency to fall into the Echo-Narcissus Syndrome and how it's destroyed my relationships in the past. Then I walk through the practical, evidence-based strategies for breaking free of this syndrome. I'm learning to receiving without guilt, choosing mutual relationships over one-way giving, and navigating holiday pressures without abandoning myself.

If you also find yourself falling into toxic dynamics where you give and give and give while losing yourself, then this episode is for you. Together, we can figure out how to honor our empathy & generosity without feeling used.

Resources:

• Moral-Jiménez, M. D. L. V., & Mena-Baumann, A. (2024). Emotional Dependence and Narcissism in Couple Relationships: Echo and Narcissus Syndrome. Behavioral Sciences, 14(12), 1190.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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A mother, a son, and a community caught between love and stigma: the new movie "Rosemead" (produced by Lucy Liu) hits like a quiet earthquake. After watching the early screening, I ugly-cried when I found out that it was based on a true story. Because the story tackles the complexities of loving someone with mental illness, I just had to talk about it here. In this episode, I sit down with "Rosemead" actor Anzi De Benedetto to unpack how a true story about schizophrenia, grief, and culture moves beyond clichés and into the messy details of real life. What does support look like when friends don’t have the right language? How does a family navigate care when stigma and “face” loom over every choice?

Anzi shares his path to the role of Stan, a well-intentioned friend whose lighthearted validation brings comfort, but only to a certain level. We explore the line between empathy and minimization, the moment when a “pep talk” must give way to professional help, and why understanding psychosis as an ongoing condition, not just a singular event. The conversation expands into the cultural dynamics inside Chinese American communities depicted in the film.

Still reeling from the emotional impact of the movie, I had to ask Anzi about his journey with acting that brought him to "Rosemead." He offers a rare look into the acting craft as emotional science: breathwork, body cues, and set safety over mythology, mirroring the same regulation skills I also teach.

If Rosemead is screening near you, go see it and tell us what you think. Fair warning- it's not for the faint of heart. Bring tissues.

Resources:

• Follow Anzi on his Instagram: @its_anzi
• Get updates on "Rosemead": @rosemeadfilm

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Holiday gatherings promise connection, but so many of us walk in bracing for old patterns: the comment that lands like a dart, the sibling rivalry that never grew up, the invisible work of keeping the peace. In this episode, I delve into why this season can feel so raw and how to survive it when your family reunions don't resemble a Hallmark card.

I also talk about this year’s surge in anxiety and grief, the rise in estrangement, and the isolation that lingers after the holiday lights come down in January. This time might be stressful under normal circumstances, but it's a whole other thing when you have dysfunctional or even "toxic" family.

If you're stuck in old unhealthy patterns with your family, you might not realize how much holding onto a "healing fantasy" is keeping you trapped. I unpack the concept of a “healing fantasy,” that deep, often hidden wish that a parent will finally see you, a sibling will get help, or conflict will stop for good. Then I suggest some practical tools from DBT that will get you focused on what really matters to you this holiday season.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Ever feel a conversation snap from “let’s talk” to “we’re yelling” in seconds? When you find yourself butting heads with someone over a "sensitive" topic, it can seem impossible to get on the same page. In this episode, I unpack a research-backed way to dissolve stalemates and actually influence change without steamrolling the person you love. The trick isn’t the perfect comeback: it’s validation, or "tactical empathy."

I talk about the clinical science behind validation that reveals why it's so powerful biologically. Then I talk through practical steps for using validation to go from talking AT each other to talking TO each other. These strategies lowers defensiveness, overwhelm, and hostility. Then, I walk through everyday examples (from talking about drinking and mental health to bedtime battles with a stubborn toddler)and show how to pivot from adversaries to teammates facing the same problem.

I also cover what to do when someone shuts down entirely, how to validate the wall itself, and why this approach is especially powerful with sadness and shame. If you’ve been stuck in circular fights, these tools can open a path to collaboration, progress, and a little peace at home.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Are you avoiding talking to your kids about topics that are just...awkward? In this episode, I chat with Dr. Elsa Friis, clinical psychologist and VP of Product at Alongside, to unpack a practical way to tackle taboo topics (sex, porn, consent, screens) without burning the bridge you’re trying to build.

Dr. Friis takes us from a group home with twelve boys to community-led parenting programs in Kenya, showing how cultural humility changes results. Warmth, respect, and safety are universal, but a mismatch in how love is shown fuels conflict. We dig into concrete tools: visual schedules that calm bedtime battles, shared calendars that grow autonomy, and “ice cream chats” that make awkward feel doable. We outline scripts for starting the sex conversation early, framing online exposure without shame, and setting boundaries that still invite honesty.

We also explore how technology can extend, not replace, human care. Alongside for Families uses an AI wellness coach to help parents and youth practice tough conversations, build study plans, and share the right info at the right time. Teens get a private space with clear safety rails; parents receive high-level summaries and immediate alerts for risks like self-harm.

Resources:

• Dr. Friis is giving Little Helpers a free 30 days to Alongside with the discount code FRIEND30! Try it here: https://www.alongside.care/family

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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What if you've tried everything, but are still depressed? Did you know that one third of people with depression don’t get enough relief from antidepressants? In this episode, I talk to psychiatrist and CMO of Neuronetics, Dr. Geoffrey Grammer, about what should people do when our mainstream treatments for depression fails us. He sheds light on new advancements for treatment-resistant depression: transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) and nasal esketamine, two evidence-based treatments that target the brain differently and raise the odds after meds stall.

We first talk about just how disappointing traditional medications and psychotherapies can be for chronically depressed patients. Then, Dr. Grammer explains how TMS works (precise, noninvasive brain stimulation that strengthens underactive mood circuits), what a session feels like, timelines for improvement, and why side effects are minimal compared to systemic drugs. We also explore nasal esketamine (Spravato) and how it works. Along the way, we dig into augmentation meds, common pitfalls, and the role of psychotherapy in turning short-term gains into lasting change.

Real patient stories ground the science in hope: remission after years of struggle, renewed presence with family, and the hard-won confidence that life can feel different. If you’ve tried two antidepressants without clear progress or hate the side effects, your next step shouldn’t be “another pill” - it should be to advocate for yourself with your providers and explore these new options.

Resources:

• NeuroStar website: https://neurostar.com/
• NeuroStar's assessment quiz for depression: https://neurostar.com/self-assessment-for-depression/
• Find a doctor page: https://neurostar.com/enter-zip-code/?as=0
• Connect to Dr. Grammer on social:
  • https://www.instagram.com/NeuroStarAdvancedTMS/
  • https://www.facebook.com/NeuroStarAdvancedTMS/
  • https://www.youtube.com/user/NeuroStarTMSTherapy

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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What if the “problem behavior” you see- anger, anxiety, avoidance, endless scrolling- is your kid’s way of shielding against something deeper? In this episode, I chat with Dr. Marcus Rodriguez, director of the Youth and Family Institute and tenured professor at Pitzer College, about what parents can do when their young adult children struggle with adulting. We dig into when these young adults hit a wall, their nervous systems recruit anger, anxiety, and shame to avoid the pain of “I can’t.” Understanding that function changes how we respond at home.

With DBT expert Dr. Rodriguez, we unpack why this generation can be deeply caring and also overwhelmed by information designed to agitate. From algorithm-driven feeds that reward outrage to climate fear and economic uncertainty, young people face a flood of threats their brains aren’t built to regulate alone. We talk about wild cases of kids getting trapped in upsetting content loops and what media literacy and parent coaching can do to break that cycle.

We translate big ideas into everyday moves that you can use with your kids today. If you’re parenting a teen in their room, a college student off-track, or a 20-something stuck in avoidance, this conversation offers a practical, hopeful roadmap.

If you need more help knowing what to do to help your children struggling with emotions, join KulaMind.

Resources:

• Dr. Rodriguez provides family DBT through his clinic in Los Angeles, Youth and Family Institute.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Ever walk away from a conversation feeling like the villain in someone else’s story? In this episode, I dig into projection—the defense that pushes a person’s unwanted traits and feelings onto you—and show how it warps reality, fuels gaslighting, and leaves loved ones doubting their own character.

I break down the differences between borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder in plain terms: emotion dysregulation versus self-image dysregulation, and how people with both disorders often project onto their loved ones. I also talk about my training in Transference Focused Psychotherapy to illustrate how expert clinicians address patients who don't want to take accountability for their own insecurities.

Even if you're not a trained clinician, I share practical strategies for defending against someone's projection, like how to reality-check without spiraling, validate feelings without accepting a false story, resist over-explaining when logic won’t land, and set boundaries. If you love someone who struggles with BPD, NPD, or emotional immaturity, this episode helps you stay steady, compassionate, and clear about who you are.

If this topic resonates and you're struggling with someone who's making you feel blamed and confused, book a free call* with me (Dr. Kibby) to learn how KulaMind can get you grounded in your reality again.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Little Helpers, this is a new era for this community: This is my first episode as the solo host of "A Little Help For Our Friends." It's Dr. Kibby and we're saying goodbye to my beloved co-host, Jacqueline Trumbull as she moves on from this podcast. This will be a new phase focused on what made this community matter from day one: centering caregivers, loved ones, people-pleasers, and supporters who carry the unseen weight of mental illness and addiction.

I revisit the show’s roots in evidence-based tools and how it grew into something braver—real stories about dating, divorce, near-death experiences, and the messy work of healing. I cover ethical storytelling, protecting privacy, and navigating the fallout when personal narratives collide with public platforms, including (gasp!) a legal threat.

The heart of this episode explores identity and roles: how duos create chemistry and cages, how therapists are trained to be “non-persons,” and why an audience hungers for a human voice over a blank slate. I lay out where we’re headed next—deep dives into secure attachment, nervous system regulation, family dynamics, and communication that actually works—alongside a slate of guests from neuroscience, therapy, and creative fields. Expect practical skills, warmer storytelling, and more of the full person behind the mic, from Berlin chapters to yoga studios to the moments that don’t come packaged as lessons.

This show remains the official podcast of KulaMind, a community made for loved ones who want connection, skills, and a place to be seen. It's also the company I literally built from my bed while trying to beat cancer.

Little Helpers, this is your space- Share your stories, tell me when I'm wrong, and shape what comes next. Email me at kibby@kulamind.com.

If this podcast has helped you feel less alone—or if you’re just finding us now—subscribe, leave a five-star review, and pass the episode to a friend who needs a steady voice today. It's our time now.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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To open Season 6 with a bang, we start where most hot takes end: with a self-aware narcissist describing his collapse, the shame behind the mask, and the painstaking choices that made empathy real. Jordan Monroe, a former tech founder turned emotional healing coach, joins us to explore a grounded path out of grandiosity, defensiveness, and reality wars—without dismissing the deep harm survivors endure.

We dig into what actually shifts behavior. Jordan explains why many narcissists don’t lack empathy so much as defend against it, and how guided “heart-opening” experiences help clients feel another person’s pain without spiraling. That visceral “ow” moment rewires daily habits: listening before defending, noticing a partner’s needs without being asked, and choosing small acts of care that build trust.

If you love someone with narcissistic traits, the boundary playbook here is essential. Jordan’s partner models how to stop self-abandoning: pause conversations when defensiveness spikes, withdraw energy from harmful dynamics, and nourish yourself so re-engagement comes from strength. We share practical, incremental boundaries that keep you safe and force clarity, whether the relationship heals or you exit whole. For anyone navigating narcissistic abuse, healing narcissism, or rebuilding intimacy, this is a compassionate, no-nonsense guide anchored in accountability.

Don't miss this episode, as this is our last episode with Jacqueline Trumbull! Stay tuned for the next episode that'll map out the road ahead for "A Little Help For Our Friends"

Resources:

• Heal Narcissism: Jordan's program
• Jordan's Instagram @the.recovering.narcissist
• If you're experiencing narcissistic abuse or affected by someone else's narcissism, join Dr. Kibby's KulaMind community to learn how to heal and set healthy boundaries.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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What happens when the hamster wheels we've been running on suddenly stop spinning? In this raw and deeply personal Season 5 finale, we pull back the curtain on our own mental health journeys over the past year, revealing the profound transformations that occur when life forces you to confront your deepest wounds.

Dr. Kibby shares her post-cancer emotional reckoning, describing how surviving treatment was just the beginning of her healing journey. The conversation turns to our viral self-hatred episode, exploring what happens when you finally see the wounds that have defined your life- and the grief that comes with that awareness.

Meanwhile, Dr. Jacqueline reflects on her transformative year completing psychology internship in New York, finding healing and validation after years of feeling misaligned in the public eye.

We dive into fertility struggles, entrepreneurial fears, and the startling gender divide we've witnessed on social media. Dr. Kibby talks about what it's been like to build KulaMindfor loved ones of people with mental illness, and stumbling upon the epidemic of women desperate for help with their angry, alcoholic, and shut-down partners.

Have topic suggestions for Season 6? Click on "send us a text" link at the top of this page to send us a message or email us at kibby@kulamind.com. We'll be back in early October 2025 with fresh insights and conversations to support you in supporting your loved ones through mental health challenges.

If you need help dealing with your loved ones' mental health, emotional or addiction issues, join the*KulaMind Community. We hold your hand through the hardest moments, teach you every proven tactic we know, and make sure you NEVER feel alone again.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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What happens when two skeptical psychologists take a deep dive into the world of manifestation? In this episode, we take a look at what "manifestation" is, what is actually based in science...and then we try manifesting for real.

We start by acknowledging our initial skepticism about the idea that you can get everything you want just by thinking about it- a practice that became popular from the book "The Secret." But as we peel back the layers, we discover powerful psychological mechanisms that explain why some manifestation practices genuinely work.

Through stories ranging from Jim Carrey's famous $10 million check to trust fund influencers selling "relaxed rich" lifestyles, we explore how self-fulfilling prophecies shape our reality. The science is clear: our internal narratives affect everything from body language to risk-taking behavior, creating tangible consequences in our external world. We talk about different manifestation techniques like visualization, journaling, and affirmations to see what's based in science and what's snake oil.

We even conduct a live manifestation experiment, combining breathing techniques with visualization, resulting in surprising personal insights about blocks to success. We discovery why changing your self-talk might be the most powerful step toward changing your reality with no mystical vibrations required.

And if you want to learn actual evidence-based skills for connecting deeper to yourself and others, check out KulaMind.

As a bonus, growing the @kulamind community is what Kibby manifests in this episode so...you'll be showing the power of manifestation by joining :)

Resources:

• The book that started it all: Byrne, R. (2011). The secret. simon and schuster.
• Example of a manifestation influencer Kibby talks about: https://www.instagram.com/jasminmankecoaching
• The meditation series Jacqueline talks about: https://open.spotify.com/show/74VqceuJUvRLIYQ0ZVbAv8?si=13V-FQMlTM-PGdfD_mnLcQ

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Do you have a family member, friend or roommate whose relationship to food is a little...concerning? Eating disorders hide in plain sight, often disguised as diet culture, fitness goals, or "healthy eating." But beneath these socially acceptable lifestyles lie deadly mental health conditions that claim more lives than almost any other psychiatric disorder.

In this episode, we break down the clinical realities of various eating disorders while exploring the profound ways they impact both individuals and their loved ones. We examine anorexia's deadly grip and how it combines food restriction with a distorted body image so powerful that even severely underweight individuals see themselves as fat. The disorder's perfectionism and need for control create a psychological prison that's hard to escape.

We discuss bulimia's binge-purge cycle, where out-of-control eating episodes are followed by compensatory behaviors like vomiting or excessive exercise. We also discuss binge eating disorder and the lesser-known ARFID, which involves food restriction based on sensory issues rather than weight concerns.

As you probably already know, these disorders can be incredibly hard on the family dynamic. Eating disorders transform dinner tables into battlegrounds and marriages into war zones. We cover strategies for supporting loved ones without enabling disordered behaviors, emphasizing the importance of family therapy and creating an environment that de-emphasizes weight and appearance.

Whether you're worried about someone you love or seeking to understand these complex conditions better, check out KulaMind to get support and community around loving someone with eating disorders.

Resources:

• Hannah, L., Cross, M., Baily, H., Grimwade, K., Clarke, T., & Allan, S. M. (2022). A systematic review of the impact of carer interventions on outcomes for patients with eating disorders. Eating and Weight Disorders-Studies on Anorexia, Bulimia and Obesity, 27(6), 1953-1962
• Eating Disorder Hotlines and Crisis Resources

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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When does our help cross the line from supportive to harmful for our loved ones with mental health challenges? In this episode we dive deep into the complex dynamics of "unintentional reinforcement," a less judgmental term for "enabling" that acknowledges how our best intentions can sometimes backfire.

Drawing from personal experiences with addiction, depression, and avoidance behaviors, we explore how our actions sometimes shield our loved ones from the very consequences that might motivate change. Whether it's financially supporting a partner who refuses to work, making excuses for someone's alcohol abuse, or accommodating anxiety-driven avoidance, these patterns can gradually trap both parties in cycles that feel impossible to break.

What makes these situations particularly challenging is when we feel stuck between either "enabling" destructive behaviors or dealing with other consequences. When we point out the problem, they often retreat further into problematic behaviors. Through practical examples and psychological insights, we discuss strategies for shifting these dynamics without abandoning those we love.

We highlight that boundaries aren't selfish- they're necessary. By intentionally encouraging healthy behaviors while allowing natural consequences for unhealthy ones, we can boost motivation for positive change. And by recognizing when our own needs for caretaking or control might be part of the problem, we gain the clarity to make difficult but loving choices.

Ready to transform your relationship with someone struggling with mental health or addiction? Check out KulaMind, our community support platform where we're learning together how to break free from unhealthy patterns and set boundaries that stick.

Resources:

• Foote, J., Wilkens, C., Kosanke, N., & Higgs, S. (2014). Beyond addiction: How science and kindness help people change. Simon and Schuster.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Humiliation might be the most painful social emotion we experience, even traumatizing. Yet it's much less talked about compared to its cousin, shame. In this revealing episode, we unpack the distinct characteristics that make humiliation uniquely devastating and potentially dangerous.

When someone in a position of power debases you in public, that's not just intense shame- it's humiliation. You simply experience a profound loss of status and dignity. While someone might humiliate you to "teach you a lesson" or make you change, but it only brings up a powerful urge for revenge.

We explore how this emotional response plays out across various contexts—from relationships where partners use humiliation as a power tactic, parents humiliate their kids as discipline, to political landscapes where people who are humiliated become radicalized. We talk about how public humiliation can devastate someone's life, while contemporary cancel culture creates new avenues for status destruction.

Finally, we discuss pathways for healing after humiliation. While revenge might feel satisfying in the moment, understanding the true costs of vengeance versus genuine recovery offers a more hopeful way forward.

Join KulaMind, our community and program for people with loved ones struggling with mental health. We teach essential skills for managing crises, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care during challenging relationships.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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What happens when cultural expectations of family loyalty collide with the reality of narcissistic abuse? In this special episode, licensed clinical social worker Agatha Peters brings a fresh perspective to this complex intersection, drawing from her personal journey as a Nigerian-American and her professional expertise working with clients from collectivist cultures.

For those raised in communities where family honor and respect for elders are paramount values, recognizing and addressing narcissistic relationships presents unique challenges that go far beyond standard Western approaches to mental health.

We explore how narcissistic parents in collectivist cultures can weaponize community expectations, creating situations where victims not only face abuse at home but also community reinforcement of harmful dynamics. This creates a devastating cycle where victims are gaslit not just by their abuser but by entire communities who view their complaints as dishonoring family or tradition.

Most powerfully, Peters shares how becoming a mother transformed her understanding of her own experiences. This discussion offered us profound insights into healing while honoring cultural identity. Subscribe now and join the conversation about supporting loved ones through their mental health journeys.

If you or someone you love is a victim of narcissistic abuse, book a free call with us or join the KulaMind community**to get the tools, expert guidance, and peer support you need.

Resources:

• Check out Agatha Peters' book: Trapped in Their Script: Reclaim Your Life from Narcissistic Parents & Cultural Expectations

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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What happens when you look into a stranger's eyes and suddenly realize what's been missing from your marriage all along? In this episode, bestselling author Amber Rae joins us to share her transformative journey from a nine-year relationship that checked all the boxes on paper but lacked true intimacy and connection.

Amber's story challenges our conventional understanding of commitment, revealing how we can unknowingly convince ourselves that relationships are working when essential needs remain unmet. "I didn't know I was pretending," she reflects, describing how she repeatedly tried to fix her marriage through therapy, self-help books, and doubting herself. The wake-up call came unexpectedly when she experienced an electric yet calm connection with a stranger that made her question everything.

We talk about what it's like to question your relationship or feel stuck between staying and leaving. Amber explores our patterns – whether we tend to leave too quickly or stay too long out of fear or people-pleasing – and provides permission to honor our authentic needs.

Beyond relationship insights, Amber shares her process of writing her new memoir "Lovable," describing how she created a "brave draft" by writing as if no one would read it. This approach to truth-telling mirrors what's needed in our relationships: the courage to see and speak our truths before considering how they'll be received.

Whether you're questioning your current relationship, healing from a past one, or simply curious about authentic connection, this conversation offers both validation and a framework for honest exploration. If you need more support in this journey, join our KulaMind Communityfor more relationship tools and connection with others walking similar paths. 50% discount off the first month if you sign up now!

Resources:

• Check out Amber Rae's site and her Instagram @heyamberrae
• Pre-order her new book "Loveable: One Woman's Path from Good to Free" out August 5th!

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Now that Season 7 of "Love Island USA" has finished, we're unpacking the fascinating psychological dynamics that made this season so compelling.

In this episode, we discussed how the men of Love Island gave us a masterclass in modern masculinity. In an era where men's mental health is suffering from isolation and loneliness, these bromances offered a refreshing alternative to toxic masculinity. T It turns out that protecting and providing looks different in 2023, and these men showed what's possible when emotional intelligence takes center stage.

The budding romances in the villa gave us fascinating case studies in attachment styles and relationship patterns. Huda's explosive reactions and self-sabotaging behaviors reflected the long term effects of trauma. Meanwhile, Amaya's remarkable trajectory from being criticized as "too much" to winning America's vote demonstrated the powerful influence of social validation on attraction. The season also sparked conversations about accountability versus growth when contestants were removed for past racist social media posts.

Also, the KulaMind community is now officially live and open to listeners of "A Little Help"! We're teaching all the skills discussed on this podcast – from supporting loved ones with mental health challenges to effective communication and boundary setting. Join our exclusive 12-week course where you'll have us in your back pocket, ready to guide you through your specific relationship challenges.

Visit our website or book a free call with Dr. Kibby to learn more about becoming part of this supportive community of Little Helpers focused on improving their relationships affected by mental health struggles.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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What happens when criticism feels like a physical blow? For some of you, rejection and criticism trigger an emotional response so intense it has its own name: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD).

In this episode, we deep into the painful world of RSD – that overwhelming feeling of shame and worthlessness that can follow even minor criticism for or rejection. Jacqueline shares a raw, personal story about crying in a supervisor's office following critical feedback, highlighting how even successful people can feel ambushed by the pain of rejection.

What's surprising is that the research shows that RSD is common with neurodivergent people with symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). We question whether RSD is truly unique to ADHD or if it's simply an intense manifestation of shame that's been given a clinical name. The neurobiological explanation involves differences in how the ADHD brain processes rejection, but we wonder if the real difference lies in how frequently people with ADHD face criticism throughout their lives for behaviors that are difficult to control.

We also cover practical coping strategies, exploring cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, leaning into and even celebrating the traits that often invite criticism. Perhaps most valuable is reframing ADHD traits as having both strengths and challenges, recognizing that spontaneity, creativity, and hyperfocus can be tremendous assets in the right context.

We're excited to announce that our KulaMind community** is finally open!! You'll get step-by-step tactics for how to overcome rejection sensitivity or other emotionally challenging relationships.

• Click here to get a 50% discount off your first month!
• Want to learn more first? Book a free call with Dr. Kibby to learn more.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Ever wondered what reality TV can teach us about psychology? In this episode, we put our mental health expertise to "work" analyzing the relationship dynamics on the first 17 episodes of Season 7 of "Love Island USA," revealing fascinating patterns that mirror what therapists see in couples therapy every day. Tell us your thoughts using the "send us a text" link above!

The villa becomes our laboratory as we dissect the pursue-withdraw dynamic playing out between contestants like Ace and Amaya. Watch as we unpack how Ace masterfully maintains emotional distance while keeping women interested. His approach to "boundaries" offers a compelling case study in how this psychological concept can sometimes be misused in relationships.

We then turn our attention to Huda and Jeremiah, whose turbulent relationship showcases textbook anxious attachment behaviors. From the infamous "pancake incident" to America's devastating vote, we explore how Huda's core fear of abandonment drives her reactions, while Jeremiah's tendency to withdraw only intensifies the conflict. Their interactions reveal how quickly attachment patterns emerge under pressure, and why some contestants lock into relationships immediately while others maintain strategic distance.

Whether you're a Love Island fan or just curious about relationship psychology, we explore attachment styles, communication patterns, and emotional intelligence that apply far beyond the villa.

**Join our KulaMind Community that launches Monday July 14th! 50% off the first month for podcast listeners! We share our expert tactics for managing our loved ones' mental and emotional issues. Secure your spot at this founding member discount!

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Ever felt yourself going from calm to explosive in seconds flat? Or watched someone you care about transform into a raging stranger over something seemingly small? In this episode, we dive deep into the anatomy of emotional explosions - those high-conflict moments that can damage relationships and leave lasting scars. We unpack why these blowups happen, exploring how they often represent a reassertion of power when someone feels threatened, undermined, or disrespected. If you need more tips, get our free guide to De-Escalating Emotional Explosions.

Drawing from relationship research and our clinical experience, we examine the triggers that spark these explosions. We talk about how many explosive relationships involve confusion between authentic self-expression and harmful communication patterns.

Recognizing John Gottman's "Four Horsemen" of relationship conflict (criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling), we list practical strategies for defusing emotional explosions. Most importantly, we provide clear alternatives to these destructive patterns. Whether you're the one who explodes or you're walking on eggshells around someone who does, we offer compassionate understanding and actionable techniques to transform your communication.

**Join our KulaMind Community that launches July 14th! 50% off the first month for podcast listeners! Our community is an exclusive group of people navigating their loved ones' mental health and emotional issues. You'll get direct coaching on proven strategies for managing emotional crises, communicating effectively, and supporting your loved ones without losing yourself. Learn more here.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Do you ever feel like you're walking on eggshells around someone who constantly needs reassurance? In this episode, we tackle anxious attachment from a different angle - not just what it feels like to be anxiously attached, but how that attachment style can impact the self-esteem and identity of those on the receiving end.

Drawing from personal experiences, we explore how anxious attachment manifests beyond just seeking love and reassurance. When someone constantly questions whether you love them enough, it can lead to profound questions about your character: Am I really selfish? Am I incapable of loving properly? We unpack the phenomenon of "projection," where anxiously attached people might interpret neutral actions through their lens of insecurity, creating narratives that shift how you see yourself. We also address how kernels of truth can be exploited to create damaging narratives - how normal human traits can be weaponized to support an anxious person's fear that they're not loved enough.

For both those with anxious attachment patterns and those on the receiving end or "the avoidant attached" folks, we offer practical strategies. Rather than pathologizing either side, we emphasize how understanding these dynamics can lead to healthier connections where both people's identities remain intact.

**Do attachment insecurities mean blow-up fights in your relationship? We made something just for you: A guide to "De-Escalating Emotional Explosions."

We have something really exciting coming up...Our KulaMind "From Chaos to Connection" course** and community launches July 14th! There's a limited number of spots to keep the group intimate, so book a free call to apply.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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What happens when you can't understand what others are thinking or feeling? Why do some people constantly misinterpret your intentions? The answers lie in a fascinating psychological process called mentalization.

Mentalization—our ability to understand the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of others and ourselves—forms the foundation of healthy relationships. When this process goes awry, as it often does in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), relationships become minefields of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and confusion.

In this episode, we delve into Jacqueline's dissertation topic of how mentalization can go awry with deep shame and personality pathology. Shame emerges as the critical factor that disrupts mentalization. Those with BPD often carry core beliefs about being defective or unlovable, coloring how they interpret others' thoughts about them. If you believe you're worthless, you'll likely assume others see you that way too, regardless of evidence. This creates patterns of negative assumptions without sufficient proof that can become self-fulfilling prophecies as relationships deteriorate.

The social media landscape introduces new challenges, bombarding us with inconsistent feedback that mirrors the chaotic responses some experienced in childhood. When hundreds love you and hundreds hate you simultaneously, how do you form a coherent sense of self?

Ready to learn more? Our community and group course launches July 14th—visit KulaMind.com to join the waitlist and gain the skills to navigate relationships with loved ones facing mental health challenges.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Ever wonder why holding your partner's hand during a stressful moment instantly calms you down? The answer lies in the fascinating neurobiological dance of co-regulation – when two nervous systems attune to and influence each other, creating safety, connection, and resilience that neither person could achieve alone.

In this episode, we explore the multidimensional nature of co-regulation in romantic relationships, moving beyond the simplistic idea that partners merely "calm each other down." Through personal stories – including TWO exciting life updates for Jacqueline! – we unpack how healthy relationships support each other across three different levels of connection.

The science is compelling. Research shows that a loving partner's touch literally reduces brain activity in regions associated with threat response. But we also tackle the shadow side: when does the need for co-regulation cross into dependency, control, or emotional manipulation? How do we balance healthy interdependence with personal responsibility for our emotional lives?

Whether you're currently partnered or not, understanding co-regulation reveals profound truths about human connection. We're biologically wired to share emotional burdens, amplify each other's joy, and create meaning together. By developing awareness of our emotional patterns and protective mechanisms, we can transform relationships from battlegrounds into sanctuaries where both people feel safe enough to be fully themselves.

If you're like "wow that sounds good, but I have NO idea how to co-regulate with my partner," then you've come to the right place- that's what we teach at *KulaMind. We're launching our exclusive KulaMind community July 14th, which we're not technically supposed to tell you yet...oh well.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Feeling stuck in the same arguments with your partner? Does it feel like a cycle of one of you is chasing and the other is running away? In this episode, we talk about the problematic cycle behind recurring relationship conflicts through the lens of Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT).

We break down the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic: that frustrating cycle where one person pushes for connection while the other pulls away. What looks like rejection or criticism on the surface actually masks deeper attachment needs and fears. You may be the one desperately trying to get your partner to engage, or one who shuts down when emotions run high.

We argue that pursuers and withdrawers are actually fighting for the relationship in their own ways. Drawing from recent EFT research and our personal experiences, these patterns develop from childhood experiences and attachment styles.

We also talk about important strategies for breaking this pursue-withdrawal cycle of disconnection. For example, we cover TEMPO framework that helps couples identify what triggers their defensive reactions and how to communicate underlying needs more effectively. We also discuss how co-regulation and vulnerability can break destructive cycles and create deeper connection.

**If you are in a relationship with someone struggling with explosive emotions, you may be caught in these destructive cycles. Book a free call with Dr. Kibby to learn about how the KulaMind program helps people like you break the cycle.

Resources:

• Johnson, S. (2022). The hold me tight workbook: a couple's guide for a lifetime of love. Little, Brown Spark.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Have you ever had the unsettling realization that perhaps you don't like yourself very much? That underneath all your accomplishments, relationships, and hard work, there's a persistent voice whispering that you're somehow fundamentally flawed? In this very personal episode, we dive into the connection between childhood trauma and the development of negative core beliefs that can manifest as self-loathing. When children experience abuse or emotional neglect, especially from parents who refuse to acknowledge their harmful behavior, the child often internalizes the belief that they're inherently bad, broken, or unlovable.

What makes this particularly painful is how these beliefs become woven into the fabric of our identity. The path toward healing begins with recognizing that self-hatred isn't your true voice—it's a protective strategy developed when you had no other options. By approaching these disowned parts with curiosity and compassion rather than fear, we can begin to release their grip on our lives. While we may never receive the validation and accountability we deserve from those who hurt us, we can find new ways to nurture and accept those wounded parts of ourselves.

Whether you're struggling with self-criticism or supporting someone who is, this episode offers an intimate peek into understanding how early trauma shapes our relationship with ourselves and practical steps toward reclaiming the parts we've been taught to fear and hate.

**If you or someone you love struggles with self hatred, book a call to see how Dr. Kibby with KulaMind can help.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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The invisible connection between trauma and sexual intimacy affects countless relationships, yet remains largely hidden in silence and shame. In this episode, we dive deep into why PTSD creates significant barriers to healthy sexual function—even when the original trauma had nothing to do with sex.

Sexual arousal shares remarkable physiological similarities with threat response, creating a devastating paradox for trauma survivors. The racing heart, flushed skin, and heightened sensitivity that should signal pleasure become warning signs of danger to a traumatized nervous system. Beyond the physiological responses, trauma rewires our capacity for connection. Partners often interpret this withdrawal as personal rejection, creating a destructive cycle that leaves both feeling isolated and misunderstood.

If you or someone you love struggles with trauma's impact on intimacy, know that recovery is possible. Effective trauma treatment can help break the association between arousal and threat. Partners play a crucial role by educating themselves about PTSD, creating safety without enabling avoidance, and maintaining patience through the healing process. Digital self-help resources and specialized trauma therapy can provide accessible starting points for reconnecting with your capacity for intimacy after trauma.

**Have you noticed how trauma affects your relationships? Healing happens when we break the silence around these struggles. If you walk to talk through it and get help, book a call with Dr. Kibby.

Resources:

• PTSD Coach Mobile app
• Rebound Health

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Do we always have to choose between caring for ourselves vs. caring for others? Nope! Dr. Jordan Quaglia, associate professor at Naropa University, introduces us to "We-Care" – a revolutionary approach to caring that blends self-care and caring for others into an integrated practice where they mutually reinforce each other.

Drawing from over a decade of research in mindfulness, compassion, and boundaries, Dr. Quaglia explains how self-care has evolved from a medical term to today's ubiquitous wellness practice, but suggests we're now ready for something more interconnected.

The conversation delves into "care blind spots" – patterns in how we approach care that remain invisible to us. Some people habitually prioritize others at their own expense, while others may emphasize self-care to the point of undermining their social connections.

When discussing boundaries, Dr. Quaglia challenges conventional wisdom. Rather than seeing boundaries merely as expressions of self-care, he reframes them as actions that modify social situations to better align with our needs, values, and goals – while remaining awake to how our boundaries affect others. Healthy boundaries, when rooted in We-Care, balance both protection and connection.

At the end of the conversation, Dr. Quaglia leads us through a "reverse self-compassion" practice that embodies We-Care principles, showing us what Dr. Qualia calls an "undivided heart" – the capacity to hold both self-care and care for others simultaneously.

***If you have a loved one with mental illness and struggle to set boundaries, take care of yourself AND them at the same time, book a call with Dr. Kibby to learn how the KulaMind program can help.

Resources:

• Check out Dr. Quaglia's new book hot off the presses: "From Self-Care to WeCare: The New Science of Mindful Boundaries and Caring from an Undivided Heart"
• Dr. Quaglia's IG @mindfulboundaries

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Have you ever noticed a never-ending cycle of drama amongst your family or friend group? In this episode, we talk about how the Drama Triangle might be the hidden pattern keeping your relationships stuck in painful cycles. Whether you're supporting a loved one with mental illness or navigating difficult family dynamics, this pattern will keep you trapped in the pain instead of solving it.

Stephen Karpman's Drama Triangle describes three roles that create and sustain relationship dysfunction: the Victim (feeling helpless and powerless), the Persecutor (critical and blaming), and the Rescuer (rushing to fix problems). What makes this pattern so challenging is how people shift between these roles, maintaining the pain while never actually resolving underlying issues.

We identify places where we can spot the drama triangle in our own lives—from childhood experiences with divorced parents to adult relationships—showing how these patterns created confusion and heartache. These triangles often form because we're desperately trying to maintain stability, even when that stability is painful.

The good news is that understanding these patterns gives you the power to break free. We explore practical ways to step outside your habitual role and ultimately break down the triangle entirely. Rather than seeing these behaviors as character flaws, we frame them as adaptations that once served a purpose but may now be limiting your growth and happiness.

This conversation highlights how recognizing these patterns can help you create more authentic connections with loved ones struggling with mental health challenges.

Check out KulaMind.com to learn more about our online platform designed to help you break toxic patterns and find peace while supporting someone with mental illness.

Resources:

• https://karpmandramatriangle.com/dt_article_only.html

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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What if we've been thinking about love all wrong? What if the idea that we must choose just one person to love deeply is simply a cultural construct rather than an inherent truth about human relationships? In this episode, we discuss with Paula Croxson, our friend and practicing polyamorist how we can challenge foundational assumptions about romantic love and connection. This discussion was inspired by reactions from our previous episodes on ethical non-monogamy as a lot of you Little Helpers were curious to hear more about how this actually works in real life. Paula shares her three-year journey into polyamory after spending most of her life in monogamous relationships, offering a thoughtful perspective on what it means to love multiple people simultaneously.

We explore how polyamory creates space for radical honesty and communication unlike anything our guest had experienced in monogamous relationships. These conversations about boundaries, needs, and expectations aren't just helpful for polyamorous arrangements – they're valuable tools for any relationship. The polyamorous community's emphasis on transparency creates opportunities to discuss topics that might remain unaddressed in traditional partnerships.

The discussion delves into complex emotional territory – examining jealousy not as something to eliminate but as information that helps identify unmet needs. We contrast this with compersion, the experience of finding joy in your partner's happiness with others. Our guest shares practical insights about navigating multiple partnerships, including scheduling challenges, communication practices, and managing new relationship energy while honoring established connections. Polyamory allows people to design relationships based on their authentic desires rather than societal expectations – creating connections that can be deeply meaningful without following conventional scripts.

This interesting conversation makes us consider what aspects of polyamorous communication and boundary-setting might benefit any type of relationship – monogamous or not.

Resources:

• Hardy, J. W., & Easton, D. (2017). The ethical slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships, and other freedoms in sex and love. Ten Speed Press.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Madison Errichiello steps out of the "Love is Blind" pods and into a raw, illuminating conversation about healing from trauma and finding strength in vulnerability. Known for her openness about mental health on the show, Madison joins us to reveal the deeper layers behind what viewers saw – and how reality TV editing shaped public perception of her journey.

"I don't wear this trauma as a coat," Madison explains, addressing misconceptions about her willingness to discuss her difficult past. Growing up between two drastically different households, Madison developed resilience alongside complex relationship patterns. She candidly explores how these experiences shaped her attachment style and the fear of being "too much" for partners.

The conversation moves beyond labels as Madison unpacks what it means to be "avoidant" in relationships while actively working toward security. Through her experiences with sudden loss and grief, Madison offers powerful insights into why certain boundaries – like asking loved ones to text when they arrive safely – stem from a place of care rather than control.

Perhaps most striking is Madison's approach to newfound fame and criticism. Rather than obsessively consuming public opinion, she's established healthy boundaries to protect her mental health. This self-assurance challenges the narrative that confident women need "humbling" and offers a masterclass in distinguishing between others' projections and personal truth.

Whether you're healing from relational trauma, navigating attachment issues, or simply curious about the real person beyond reality TV editing, this conversation offers compassionate wisdom about holding life with "a looser grip" and finding peace through self-acceptance.

**If you are dealing with the mental health or addiction problems of a partner, family member or friend, co-host Dr. Kibby can support you through KulaMind, a coaching program and community made just for you. Through KulaMind, she can help you make sense of the chaos, set healthy boundaries, and break toxic dynamics. Book a free call with her to learn more.

Check out KulaMind.com

Resources:

• Follow Madison on Instagram @mads.err and Tik Tok @mads.err

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Ever found yourself wanting to scream when someone launches into their hundredth "woe is me" monologue? Yep, we've been there. In this episode, we talk about one of the more isolating coping mechanisms: self-pity.

We break down exactly what makes self-pity so aggravating for loved ones—that toxic combination of helplessness, victim mentality, and emotional quicksand that seems to pull everyone down. Unlike genuine sadness or grief, self-pity comes with an external locus of control that rejects solutions while demanding endless reassurance. It's the "help me, help me, but don't help me" dynamic that leaves friends, partners, and even therapists feeling utterly powerless.

We explore the psychology behind why people get stuck in self-pitying patterns, the difference between legitimate suffering and wallowing, and the crucial distinction between self-pity ("poor me") and self-compassion ("poor us"). For those drowning in self-pity, we offer actionable strategies to reconnect with agency and break free from the cycle. For the exhausted supporters, we provide practical tools like "dropping the rope" and setting boundaries without drowning in guilt.

Whether you're dealing with a chronically self-pitying loved one or catching yourself falling into these patterns, the way out of self-pity isn't more reassurance—it's recognizing that even in our darkest moments, we always have a choice.

**If you're struggling with a loved one consumed with self pity, book a free call with Dr. Kibby to see you can get expert insights and strategies through KulaMind.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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The wounds of high school popularity - or lack thereof - run surprisingly deep. In this episode, we explore how our teenage and adolescent social status continues to shape our self-concept decades later, informing how we navigate relationships, perceive our value, and approach social hierarchies.

We dive into research that reveals the complex relationship between adolescent popularity and adult personality traits, discovering if we have qualities that determine whether or not we're going to be "popular" throughout our life.

The podcast gets personal as we share our own teenage experiences - from the notorious MySpace "Top 8" friendship rankings that could ruin a week, to the Valentine's Day carnation deliveries that made social hierarchies painfully visible. We talk about how these experiences become formative to our identities because adolescence represents our first real attachment to figures outside our families, creating patterns that can last a lifetime.

For those still carrying these wounds, we offer science-backed perspectives for healing. Most importantly, recognizing that high school popularity often rewards conformity rather than originality allows us to reframe our experiences as badges of uniqueness rather than rejection.

Whether you were a queen bee, completely overlooked, or somewhere in between, we offer validation, understanding, and a path toward finally healing those stubborn teenage wounds. Subscribe to explore more topics at the intersection of mental health, relationships, and personal growth that help us all become better supporters to those we love.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Distance makes the heart grow fonder—or does it? In this episode, we explore long-distance relationships and what the research actually shows about couples who love across miles. We share our own varied experiences with long-distance love—from casual dating situations to serious commitments. Different relationship styles and personal attachment patterns dramatically impact how well distance works. Low-jealousy partners may thrive while anxious attachment can transform distance from challenging to excruciating.

Communication presents unique hurdles when you're apart—text messages lose tone, calls require scheduling, and the spontaneity of everyday connection disappears. We identify creative strategies that help bridge the gap. The ultimate question emerges: is long-distance simply pressing pause on your relationship, or can it actually strengthen your connection in ways proximity never could?

Whether you're contemplating a period apart from your partner or currently navigating the challenges of loving from afar, w e explore how to maintain connection when miles separate you from the one you love—and when to know if the distance might actually be revealing deeper relationship incompatibilities.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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We all know those moments—when everything feels either perfect or disastrous, when someone is either completely trustworthy or utterly toxic. "All-or-nothing," "black-and-white," or dichotomous thinking, shapes our relationships, political views, and self-perception in profound ways. But where does this all-or-nothing approach come from, and why is it so hard to escape?

In this episode, we dive deep into the surprising evolutionary purpose behind rigid thinking patterns. Far from simply being a cognitive flaw, black and white thinking often emerges as a survival mechanism for those who've experienced trauma or instability. The problem arises when we carry these protective patterns into everyday life, relationships, and social media interactions where complexity is essential.

We explore how dichotomous thinking manifests differently across various conditions—from personality disorders where it permeates every interaction to PTSD where it might remain confined to specific triggers. We share personal examples, research findings, and practical strategies for recognizing when you've fallen into extreme thinking. Then, we outline the evidence-based strategies for breaking free of the extremes of dichotomous thinking.

Whether you're dealing with a loved one who sees the world in absolutes or noticing this pattern in yourself, we understand why our brains crave certainty and how embracing the gray areas might be the key to deeper connections and better mental health. We offer both compassion for why we develop these patterns and concrete tools for finding your way back to nuance.

Resources:

• Bonfá‐Araujo, B., Oshio, A., & Hauck‐Filho, N. (2022). Seeing Things in Black‐and‐White: A Scoping Review on Dichotomous Thinking Style1. Japanese Psychological Research, 64(4), 461-472.
• Jonason, P. K., Oshio, A., Shimotsukasa, T., Mieda, T., Csathó, Á., & Sitnikova, M. (2018). Seeing the world in black or white: The Dark Triad traits and dichotomous thinking. Personality and Individual Differences, 120, 102-106.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Are your parents bad at dealing with difficult emotions? Do they fall apart, ignore, criticize or withdraw when you need them the most? Emotional immaturity in parents causes profound ripple effects through generations, creating patterns many of us don't recognize until we're deep into adulthood. Based on Dr. Lindsay Gibson's model of emotional immaturity, we describe the four distinct types of emotionally immature parents —emotional, driven, passive, and rejecting—and how each type uniquely shapes their children's development.

We explore why this topic has exploded in popularity, tracing it back to historical contexts that shaped how each generation views parenting. When survival is the primary goal, emotional complexity takes a back seat, creating generations of parents who never developed the skills to handle their own emotions, let alone support their children's emotional growth.

When children's own personal growth is stunted by a dysfunctional family, they adopt specific roles as survival mechanisms that often persist into adulthood, limiting their full expression and causing recurring relationship challenges.

Whether you're struggling with an emotionally immature parent or recognizing these patterns in yourself as a parent, we suggest a path toward healing. This path includes awareness, grieving what you didn't receive, exploring yourself beyond your family role, and developing boundaries based on mutual respect rather than obligation.

If you're ready to break free from toxic dynamics with immature parents and discover your authentic self outside of these roles, book a free call with Dr. Kibby to learn how she can guide you through your healing journey.

Resources:

• Gibson, L. C. (2015). Adult children of emotionally immature parents: How to heal from distant, rejecting, or self-involved parents. New Harbinger Publications.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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When your dating a guy who isn't ready to settle down or your friend whines for not getting what she wants, you roll your eyes and think "they're so immature." But what does being "mature" mean, exactly? In this episode, we nerd out over the concept of emotional immaturity, the developmental aspects that contribute to it, and how it manifests in adult interactions. From understanding the signs of immaturity to addressing the struggle of setting healthy boundaries, we figure out what's needed to navigate emotionally challenging relationships.

This episode was inspired by one of our Little Helper fans who shared with us a story of questioning her relationship to her boyfriend who is kind, respectful and loving, but just felt like a "young soul." When she met a man who demonstrated emotional maturity and thoughtfulness, she could only describe it as "he made me feel like a woman." So we were excited to dissect what that line is between what makes someone feel like a "young" vs "old soul." Thank you for sharing!!

We couldn't ignore the role of emotional regulation and empathy in our connections with others. We explored whether immaturity is a symptom of deeper issues like Cluster B personality disorders (borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), histrionic personality disorder (HPD) and antisocial personality disorder (APD)). We’ll also share personal anecdotes that highlight real struggles faced when dealing with emotionally immature individuals.

**Want to share your story with us? Click the link at the top to send us a text. We can't respond directly to that text message for some reason, so leave your email address if you want us to write you back!

Resources:

• Consedine, N. S., & Magai, C. (2006). Emotion development in adulthood: A developmental functionalist review and critique. The Oxford handbook of adult development and learning, 209-244.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Do you hate yourself or know someone who does? We delve into the painful reality of people who loathe themselves with Dr. Blaise Aguirre, a distinguished expert in child and adolescent psychiatry at McLean Hospital. We navigate the often-overlooked dimensions of self-loathing, delving into how it manifests in various mental health conditions, particularly borderline personality disorder and suicidality.

Dr. Aguirre sheds light on the origins of self-hatred, tracing it back to formative childhood experiences, critical family environments, and societal expectations that can shape a person's self-image. Throughout our discussion, he emphasizes the profound impact of high sensitivity on emotional resilience, illustrating how those with heightened sensitivity often internalize negative messages, leading them to struggle with self-worth.

The episode also provides practical insights into healing from self-hatred. We discuss various therapeutic approaches aimed at reframing harmful narratives and fostering self-compassion. Dr. Aguirre’s compassionate insights encourage listeners to shift their perspectives on self-worth and understand the vital role of emotional connections in cultivating a positive self-image.

Whether you’re on your own journey toward self-love or seeking to support a loved one grappling with self-hatred, this episode offers both understanding and hope.

Resources:

Get Dr. Aguirre's new book, "I Hate Myself: Overcoming Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You"

Watch Dr. Aguirre's interview on MSNBC

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Can a new marriage really shake the foundation of a once harmonious family? Maybe if the newcomer is, ahem, emotionally challenging. In today's episode, we respond to a listener who asked for tips on dealing with the toxic behavior of a new family member. "Emma," a Little Helper, sent us a message describing her frustration with her uncle's new marriage following the passing of their beloved aunt. Her extended family is large and close, but this new bride "Mary" interrupts the dynamic with narcissistic, controlling, critical, and jealous behavior. We explore the delicate balance of blending families after the loss of a central family figure, shedding light on how personalities and past dynamics play crucial roles in this transition.

As much as we wonder if Mary exhibits Cluster B disordered behavior, we also examine the potential struggles she faces as she steps into the challenging role of matriarch later in life. The family's expectations weigh heavily on her, and we explore how her critical and controlling traits have contributed to the tension. We also question the uncle's role, too, as his perceived lack of assertiveness adds fuel to the fire. Through personal reflections and poignant examples, we highlight the intricate dance of balancing new relationships while respecting longstanding family ties.

Finally, we touch on broader themes, including the impact of cluster B traits on family dynamics and the emotional complexity of marrying into a close-knit family. We explore how empathy, understanding, and effective communication can help navigate these turbulent waters. From the gatekeeping behaviors that hinder personal connections to strategies for managing challenging interactions, how do we maintain family harmony amid change and exploring the evolving nature of family dynamics?

**Submit your question, requests or comments using the "send us a text" link at the very top! It won't let us respond through the text for some reason so leave your contact info if you want us to respond personally.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Is ethical non-monogamy simply a radical departure from tradition, or a return to our more natural relational roots? In this episode, we respond to one of our fans' questions about how to have an open relationship (thank you, fan from Columbia, Missouri!). We share stories and observations from diverse E&M communities, underscoring the vital role of consent and intentionality in successfully navigating these relationships. If any of you want to submit a question or request, tap the "send us a text" link at the top!

We take a historical and cultural lens to monogamy, questioning its origins and examining its societal implications. Our discussion draws on comparisons with our primate relatives, the horny bonobos, and challenges the notion of ethical non-monogamy as a radical concept, especially in the face of traditional marriage failure rates. We reflect on the intense expectations placed on partners and the emotional risks involved in opening up a relationship.

We redefine commitment beyond the confines of sexual exclusivity, highlighting the potential for deeper, diverse connections. From navigating the potential pitfalls of open relationships to the community support essential for their success, we offer a candid dialogue on the joys and challenges of E&M. Ask yourself- what does commitment means for you?

Resources:

Fern, J. (2020). Polysecure: Attachment, trauma and consensual nonmonogamy. Thorntree Press LLC.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Sex shouldn't feel like a chore...unless that's something you're into! In this episode, we welcome back Dr. Marina Rosenthal to talk about sex therapy. Dr. Rosenthal discusses how sex therapy addresses various issues, from erectile dysfunction and pain during sex to navigating non-monogamy and infidelity repair. This approach advocates for expanded definitions of sex to foster fulfilling relationships at every age.

We discuss how cultural expectations can create pressure, affecting self-worth and leading to feelings of rejection. By shifting the focus from the frequency of sex to the enjoyment of diverse intimate activities, couples can create a more satisfying and stress-free sexual relationship. Dr. Rosenthal mentions a few examples of how sex therapy techniques are introduced to reduce performance anxiety, encouraging present-moment awareness and enhancing the sexual experience for both partners.

As we are wont to do on this podcast, we dive into the rich tapestry of sexual fantasies and their role in relationships, as we discuss cognitive restructuring techniques and the importance of communication between partners. From the complexities of taboo fantasies to the nuances of pornography use, we cover tips for navigating these sensitive topics. We also touch on the impact of trauma on sexual relationships and the pathways to healing.

Resources:

• Dr. Marina Rosenthal's Instagram
• Dr. Marina Rosenthal's Website
• "The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse" by Wendy Maltz

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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Is plastic surgery a sign of self-improvement or a lack of self-love? In this episode, we reflect on this question after both of our (first?) major plastic surgery procedures: Kibby's double mastectomy for breast cancer treatment and Jacqueline’s decision to undergo liposuction. We question societal standards and the stigma surrounding body modifications, challenging the notion that altering one's appearance is inherently negative.

We address our evolution of body image as we age, where societal norms and personal perceptions often clash. Jacqueline opens up about her journey from being a reality TV star to and older woman as Kibby shares her major transitions from yoga teacher, to mom, to cancer patient. We reflect on the anxiety of maintaining attractiveness, the social capital tied to beauty, and the transformative periods of life, like pregnancy, that reshape self-identity. This conversation invites listeners to consider the profound impact of external pressures on our inner world.

With insights into the correlation between self-esteem and the desire for cosmetic changes, we discuss the often misunderstood belief that altering appearances can reshape personal relationships. Sharing stories of mixed family reactions, the discussion touches on the insecurities and newfound confidence after surgery. We consider the authentic paths toward self-love in a world fixated on physical ideals.

Resources:

• ​Shridharani, S. M., Magarakis, M., Manson, P. N., & Rodriguez, E. D. (2010). Psychology of plastic and reconstructive surgery: a systematic clinical review. Plastic and reconstructive surgery, 126(6), 2243-2251.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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What happens when you have sex with someone you like, get along with, and trust, but don't want to call it a "serious relationship"? In this episode, we explore the types of casual relationships such as friends with benefits and situationships, where the lines between friendship, passion, and intimacy blur. We unravel personal journeys from casual friendships to full-blown romances, tackling controversial ideas like the "Ladder Theory" and how they stack up against real-life experiences. Different perspectives from relationship experts such as Esther Perel and John Gottman offer diverse insights into passion and intimacy within relationships. Whether it's the allure of seduction, the role of alcohol, or the evolutionary aspects of these connections, we dive into all the nuances that make these relationships both appealing and challenging.

We also give evidence-based strategies and practical tools to navigate these complex emotional terrains. With the help of KulaMind, our platform offering step-by-step guidance through relationship skills, we emphasize the importance of communication, self-awareness, and clear definitions in fostering healthier relationships. Reflect on your motivations and needs, and learn how to support those around you in their relational journeys.

Support the show

• If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues,join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

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When faced with the heart-wrenching decision to set boundaries with a loved one battling mental health issues, the choice is never easy. Many of us choose to estrange ourselves and cut off contact with difficult parents for our own wellbeing, but we also risk losing them forever. In this special episode, psychotherapist Dr. Caitlin Fang returns to share her deeply personal experiences with her mother, who struggled with depression, substance abuse, and schizoaffective disorder. She takes us through the emotional labyrinth of setting boundaries to protect herself and her child, while navigating the turbulent waters of unresolved grief after her mother's passing.

Dr. Fang's story sheds light on the complex dynamics of mental health within families. As she reflects on her upbringing, Caitlin shares insights into how her mother's mental health challenges shaped her resilience and empathy as a therapist. We explore the difficult balance between anger and forgiveness, the emotional tug-of-war of supporting a parent in crisis, and the profound realization of not being able to save a loved one from their struggles.

Thinking of setting boundaries with a difficult family member or a loved one with mental illness? *Book a free call with Dr. Kibby to get the support you need

Support the show

• If you have a loved one with mental or emotional problems, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. KulaMind teaches you how to cope with difficult relationships through one-on-one expert coaching, exclusive group support, and personalized digital resources. *We only take a select few clients at a time, so apply here if you're interested. Listeners of the podcast get a special discount!

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for science-backed tips and resources for mental health and relationships.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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When you grow up in a household where love feels conditional, and your sense of self-worth hinges on meeting impossibly high standards. In this episode, we discuss the challenges faced by those who have navigated life with narcissistic parents. We explore the emotional scars left by such upbringing, including struggles with low self-esteem and attachment issues. We also discuss how our personal and clinical experiences fueled our inspiration to build KulaMind, a community platform dedicated to helping people foster healthier relationships and developing a sense of self-worth coming from a family affected by mental illness.

We discuss what narcissistic tendencies can look like in our parents, where societal pressures and a parent's unmet emotional needs often overshadow genuine concern. highlight the universal healing fantasy—a deep-seated longing for unconditional love and understanding from emotionally unavailable parents. This narrative is interwoven with stories of past traumas passed down through generations, emphasizing the need to address these patterns to heal and move forward. With insights drawn from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) principles, we offer practical advice for balancing power and connection in relationships, stressing the importance of vulnerability and empathy.

Tune in to discover tools for healing from narcissistic abuse and reclaiming your self-worth. If you are struggling with this yourself, join KulaMind, a supportive community dedicated to guiding you on this transformative journey.

*Book a free call with Dr. Kibby to learn more.

Resources:

• Take this quiz to learn more about how narcissistic your parents were to you: Parent Narcissism Quiz
• Faraji, H., Bilğiş, C., & Darçın, Z. (2024). The Mediator Role of Rejection Sensitivity Between Perceived Maternal Narcissism and Self-disclosure in Romantic Relationship. Turkish Psychological Counseling and Guidance Journal, 14(72), 37-47.

Support the show

• If you have a loved one with mental or emotional problems, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. KulaMind teaches you how to cope with difficult relationships through one-on-one expert coaching, exclusive group support, and personalized digital resources. *We only take a select few clients at a time, so apply here if you're interested. Listeners of the podcast get a special discount!

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for science-backed tips and resources for mental health and relationships.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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Tis the season to be overwhelmed by family dysfunction! The holidays often unravel unresolved family dynamics and we often have to balance time with loved ones and our own sanity. In this episode, we delve into the emotional triggers that resurface during festive gatherings, like feeling like a child again around older relatives. We highlight the contrast between the idealized holiday narrative and the complex reality, especially when trying to set boundaries or deal with family conflicts. We share practical strategies for handling the post-New Year's blues and creating new traditions that embrace diversity and change.

Resources:

• If you need support dealing with family dysfunction, book a free consultation call with cohost Dr. Kibby: https://kulamind.com/onboarding
• Schneider, E., Liwinski, T., Imfeld, L., Lang, U. E., & Brühl, A. B. (2023). Who is afraid of Christmas? The effect of Christmas and Easter holidays on psychiatric hospitalizations and emergencies—Systematic review and single center experience from 2012 to 2021. Frontiers in psychiatry, 13, 1049935.

Support the show

• If you have a loved one with mental or emotional problems, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. KulaMind teaches you how to cope with difficult relationships through one-on-one expert coaching, exclusive group support, and personalized digital resources. *We only take a select few clients at a time, so apply here if you're interested. Listeners of the podcast get a special discount!

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for science-backed tips and resources for mental health and relationships.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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Well, the results are in: Donald Trump is the president of the United States. Again. This election came with a ton of emotions on either side of the political divide. In a world where differing political views often lead to divisive conflicts, how can we bridge the gap and maintain our relationships? In this episode, we take a deep dive into the complex dynamics surrounding support for controversial figures, with a focus on Trump. We tackle the normalization of toxic masculinity and the cognitive dissonance present among his supporters, while also confronting uncomfortable truths about voting patterns among women. Through our discussion, we aim to unravel how cultural and social tensions shape political affiliations. Ultimately, we argue for using our perspective taking and compassion skills to arrive at mutual understanding between parties.

To get support in loving someone with mental illness (like voting for the opposite party as you, haha), join us at KulaMind.

Resources:

• https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-social-emotional-brain/202410/why-voters-support-trump-despite-his-alleged-misdeeds?amp​

Support the show

• If you have a loved one with mental or emotional problems, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. KulaMind teaches you how to cope with difficult relationships through one-on-one expert coaching, exclusive group support, and personalized digital resources. *We only take a select few clients at a time, so apply here if you're interested. Listeners of the podcast get a special discount!

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for science-backed tips and resources for mental health and relationships.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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Every couple fights sometimes, but what if conflict is the norm in your relationship? High conflict couples tend to fight, shut down, yell, and sometimes even get violent too often. In this episode, we talk to couples therapist and relationship mindset expert Dr. Marina Rosenthal about how high conflict couples can change the way they fight. We talk about the different types of high conflict couples and how to tell if you can save your troubled relationship or need to plan your exit strategy. Dr. Rosenthal also gives us a picture of what hope and healing can look like for a high conflict couple.

*If you are in a relationship with someone struggling with mental or emotional problems, we are building something new to support you at KulaMind. Click here to get early access.

Resources:

• Dr. Marina Rosenthal's website and Instagram
• What The F**k Did You Just Say To Me?!
• Take A Break Guide
• Free Calm Conflict Starter Kit

Support the show

• If you have a loved one with mental or emotional problems, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. KulaMind teaches you how to cope with difficult relationships through one-on-one expert coaching, exclusive group support, and personalized digital resources. *We only take a select few clients at a time, so apply here if you're interested. Listeners of the podcast get a special discount!

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for science-backed tips and resources for mental health and relationships.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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How well do you really understand the grim reality of sex trafficking? We challenge some of the most deeply-held misconceptions, revealing its unsettling proximity to our everyday lives. We confront the recent allegations against music mogul Diddy, exploring how power and abuse intertwine in complex ways, reshaping our understanding of consent and control. We further illuminate the hidden signs of human trafficking and abusive relationships, drawing parallels to the pressures faced by young celebrities. Finally, we shine a light on reality TV's manipulative tactics, illustrating how these mirror broader societal issues of control and objectification. Empowering listeners with awareness, our discussion offers tools to recognize and confront these pervasive issues effectively.

*We are creating something special to support you in loving someone with mental illness. Click here to join the KulaMind waitlist and stay tuned!!

Resources:

• https://humantraffickinghotline.org/en/report-trafficking
• https://variety.com/2024/music/news/diddy-lawsuits-timeline-sex-trafficking-charges-sean-combs-1236177399/
• Casassa, K., Knight, L., & Mengo, C. (2022). Trauma bonding perspectives from service providers and survivors of sex trafficking: A scoping review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 23(3), 969-984.

Support the show

• If you have a loved one with mental or emotional problems, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. KulaMind teaches you how to cope with difficult relationships through one-on-one expert coaching, exclusive group support, and personalized digital resources. *We only take a select few clients at a time, so apply here if you're interested. Listeners of the podcast get a special discount!

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for science-backed tips and resources for mental health and relationships.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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Welcome back to the first episode of our fifth season! Whether it's a temporary break or a permanent distance, many of us have cut off contact with a family member when the relationship has gotten too difficult. Estrangement is on the rise as more people are deciding to cut off contact with their parents to protect their mental health. In this episode, we discuss the different ways adult children become estranged from their parents and what strategies can support reconciliation. We draw from the teachings of Dr. Joshua Coleman, an expert in families dealing with estrangement.

*Listening to so many audience requests, Kibby and Jacqueline are coming out with something special to support you in loving someone with mental illness. Tap to join the waitlist and stay tuned!!

Resources:

• Coleman, J. (2024). Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties & How to Heal the Conflict. Random House.

Support the show

• If you have a loved one with mental or emotional problems, we can help. Our online platform KulaMind offers individual support on demand, skills and resources to help you care for loved ones with mental illness. We only take a select few clients at a time, so apply here if you're interested. Listeners of the podcast get a special discount!

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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Well, this year has been trying, to say the least. From losing a beloved pet, coping with cancer, and career transitions, we open up about the challenges we've had to overcome throughout season 4. In this episode, we recap the season and reflect on the strategies we used to rebuild our resilience amidst turbulence. We also dive into how our struggles impacted our friendship, forcing us to face deeper questions about unconditional love. We also remember how much family, friends, and other loved ones play such a huge role in our wellbeing, the inspiration for Kibby's new venture KulaMind. We'll return for Season 5 in a few weeks after Jacqueline gets settled in her New York life!

Resources:

• Dr. Kibby McMahon is opening a few spots for supporting loved ones of people with mental illness. Little Helper fans of this podcast will get a 20% discount. Apply here

Support the Show.

• If you have a loved one with mental or emotional problems, co-host Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Kibby's coaching program KulaMind offers individual support on demand, skills and resources to help people care for loved ones with mental illness. She only takes a select few clients at a time, so apply here if you're interested. Listeners of the podcast get a special discount! Contact her at kibby@kulamind.com to learn more.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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The #MeToo movement raised awareness of just how common sexual assault really is. Unwanted sexual contact can have devastating consequences on the victim's life through trauma symptoms that show up at work, at home, and in love. In this episode, Dr. Erin Berenz (associate professor at University of Illinois Chicago and co-founder of Rebound Health) unpacks the intricate and often misunderstood aspects of sexual trauma. Dr. Berenz sheds light on the challenges many face in practicing consent, especially when grappling with societal pressures and internal conflicts. We delve into the psychological impact of these dynamics and the struggle for survivors to reconcile their experiences with their personal narratives and trauma. We also explore the theme of control in the context of trauma, particularly sexual assault, and the physiological responses that occur during these harrowing experiences. Learn about the long-term effects of trauma, including the heightened risk of PTSD, and various treatment options available.

Resources:

• ​The Rebound app for Apple devices for self-help for sexual trauma
• If you struggle with supporting a loved one with sexual trauma, check out KulaMind or fill out this interest form to learn how we can help.
• Shekhtman, K. (2024). Getting Unstuck from PTSD: Using Cognitive Processing Therapy to Guide Your Recovery by Patricia A. Resick, Shannon Wiltsey Stirman, and Stefanie T. LoSavio: The Guilford Press, 2023. 305 pp. with Worksheets and Additional Resources (Paperback)

Support the Show.

• If you have a loved one with mental illness and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Fill out this interest form or email her at kibby@kulamind.com to learn more.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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These days, the only thing harder than being a teen is parenting one. How do we even raise healthy adolescents and teens when they have the world literally at their fingertips and vapes look like harmless toys?? For this episode, we welcome back Dr. Marcus Rodriguez, a leading specialist in youth and family mental health. Dr. Rodriguez shares practical strategies from his vast clinical experience and personal journey as a parent, offering guidance on how to foster healthier family dynamics and strengthen parent-teen relationships. We cover a range of parenting strategies, from fostering communication with teenagers to understanding when to step back.

Resources:​

• If you struggle with parenting a teen with emotional issues, check out KulaMind or fill out this interest form to learn how we can help.
• Dr. Marcus Rodriguez's Youth and Family Institute in California

Support the Show.

• If you have a loved one with mental illness and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Fill out this interest form or email her at kibby@kulamind.com to learn more.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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You deserve to have your dreams come true, to get what you want out of life, to always be treated like a queen!...or do you? In this episode, we talk about entitlement, the tendency to think you will get special treatment or resources no matter what. We discuss the pros and cons of entitlement, why it's more common these days, and tips for navigating its downsides.

Resources:​

• If you struggle with an entitled loved one, check out KulaMind or fill out this interest form to learn how we can help.
• Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2009). The narcissism epidemic: Living in the age of entitlement. Simon and Schuster.

Support the Show.

• If you have a loved one with mental illness and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Fill out this interest form or email her at kibby@kulamind.com to learn more.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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Love can feel "dysregulated" even in the best relationships with intense infatuation, disappointments, intimacy, and heartbreak. However, dating someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) means these ups and downs can get extreme. In this episode, we talk about what it's like to be in a romantic relationship with BPD. We also give tips for people coping with a partner with BPD and other signs of emotion regulation problems.

Resources:

• If you're dating someone with BPD and need support, check out KulaMind or fill out this interest form to learn how Kibby can help.
• Manning, S. Y. (2011). Loving someone with borderline personality disorder: How to keep out-of-control emotions from destroying your relationship. Guilford Press.

Support the Show.

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@kulamind.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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Choosing to become a parent is one of the most important and impactful decisions one could make. But how on earth do we make such an important decision without really knowing how it'll turn out? In this episode, we discuss what the pros and cons of a child-free life. We also talk about the decision-making process around having children and whether there is any real evidence that becoming a parent is "worth it."

Resources:

• https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-having-children-make-people-happier-in-the-long-run
• Gilbert, D. (2009). Stumbling on happiness. Vintage Canada.
• Fieldsend, M., & Smith, J. A. (2022). Interpersonal dynamics of women in midlife living with involuntary childlessness. Journal of Adult Development, 29(2), 159-170.

Support the Show.

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@kulamind.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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When did saying "I'm so stressed" become the norm? Stress seems to be a given for anyone out there adulting so it's hard to know when it becomes a problem and what to do about it. In this episode, we talk about stress with Dr. Matt Scult, VP of Clinical Science at Scenario, licensed psychologist, and Duke alum! We discuss what stress is, when is it helpful vs. harmful, and evidence-based tips to managing stress in healthy ways. He introduces Scenario, an app that helps people prepare for the stresses of everyday life.

Resources:

• Check out Dr. Scult on Instagram @mattscultphd and his psychotherapy private practice
• ​Check out Scenario that has a free basic version and a paid premium version coming soon!

Support the Show.

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@kulamind.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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When our levels of Netflix binges get so intense, we end up spending more time with our favorite characters or celebrities than anyone else in our lives. The connections we have to these stars is called parasocial relationships. In this episode, we delve into parasocial relationships, why we need them and what they do for us. We also discuss how in the digital age, we have a window into the personal lives of our favorite celebrities, blurring the lines between our parasocial relationships and "real" relationships. Jacqueline also discusses the other side of parasocial relationships as a celebrity herself.

Resources:

• In Defense of Parasocial Relationships
• Gleason, T. R., Theran, S. A., & Newberg, E. M. (2017). Parasocial interactions and relationships in early adolescence. Frontiers in psychology, 8, 246529.

Support the Show.

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@seonhealth.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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Relationships with narcissists can be thrilling, consuming, and completely devastating. Narcissists try to fill the void of their own insecurities by controlling or exploiting their loved ones, creating patterns of narcissistic abuse. In this episode, we talk about how people can tell if they're a victim of narcissistic abuse and what this unhealthy relationship looks like according to Monique Dauphin. We also share tips about how to support a loved one who is being abused by a narcissist.
Resources:

• If you or your loved one is a victim narcissistic abuse, submit this form to learn how Kibby can help.
• Marlow-MaCoy, A. (2020). The Gaslighting Recovery Workbook: Healing From Emotional Abuse. Rockridge Press.

Support the Show.

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@seonhealth.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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For this second episode on dissociative identity disorder (DID; commonly known as "multiple personality disorder"), we welcome back patient Molly to meet some of her other personalities! In our last episode, Molly and her therapist Dr. Caitlin Fang described what it's like to live with 13 other separate personalities or "parts," who all have their own perspectives, opinions, secrets, skills, interests, ages, and even accents! While Molly got to talk about her experiences, some of her parts were eager to share their side of the story. In this incredible episode, Alex, Ruby and Slayer join us to talk about what it's like to be the other personalities of someone with DID.

Resources:

• https://www.sidran.org/resources/for-survivors-and-loved-ones/
• http://www.trauma-pages.com/
• http://www.jimhopper.com/
• https://istss.org/home
• https://www.isst-d.org

Support the show

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@seonhealth.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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Ever wonder what it's like to live with multiple personalities? Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a rare condition that involves having at least two separate identities (also called "alters" or "parts") that can think and feel independently. In this very special episode, Dr. Caitlin Fang and her patient with DID tell us what it's like to live with multiple personalities. They also talk about her journey finding the right diagnosis and treatment. This episode one of two episodes on this topic- in the next episode, we invite her other parts/personalities to share their side of the story!

Resources:

• Helpful YouTube video on DID
• Guidelines for treating DID

Support the show

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@seonhealth.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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"I have everything but the guy" is a common struggle for successful women these days. As we've discussed in previous episodes, dating is already difficult and can be even more so for strong, independent women. In this episode, the expert dating coach Evan Katz shares his insights on the challenges women face in dating, what they often do "wrong," and effective strategies for finding a good partner.

Resources:

• www.evanmarckatz.com/
• Apply for Evan Katz's Love U dating program

Support the Show.

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@seonhealth.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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Kibby has some unfortunate news to share: She has just been diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer. As much of a shock as it is, cancer rates are on the rise in younger adults and no one knows why. Such a devastating illness can turn someone's life upside down in an instant- for the people diagnosed and also their loved ones. In this episode, Kibby and Jacqueline try to process this emotional rollercoaster and how can we support our loved ones living with cancer.

Resources:

• Getting Things Off My Chest: A Survivor's Guide to Staying Fearless and Fabulous in the Face of Breast Cancer by Melanie Young
• van Eijk, M., de Vries, D. H., Sonke, G. S., & Buiting, H. M. (2022). Friendship during patients’ stable and unstable phases of incurable cancer: a qualitative interview study. BMJ open, 12(11).

Support the show

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@seonhealth.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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A new year, new you. For the start of 2024, many people want to leave behind unwanted parts of ourselves. Some beliefs can haunt us and hold us back, like "I'm not good enough", "I don't deserve love," or "there is no way I can quit eating these chocolates" (or so we've heard). However, anyone who's tried to just let go of negative beliefs always find that they come back to bite us. In this episode, we discuss evidence-based methods of not letting these beliefs hold you back. We also discuss an innovative new intervention in the form of a reality TV show that probably will make people worse but definitely would be entertaining!

Resources:

• Embracing Your Demons: an Overview of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy​
• Geraerts, E., & McNally, R. J. (2008). Forgetting unwanted memories: Directed forgetting and thought suppression methods. Acta psychologica, 127(3), 614-622.

Support the Show.

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@seonhealth.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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Famously considered "man's best friend," our pets can be one of our most important sources of emotional support and companionship. From cats and dogs to hamsters and goldfish, pets become part of our family and losing them can come with a deep grieving process that isn't well acknowledged in our society. In this episode, we discuss the mental health implications of having a pet as well as losing one.

Resources:

• Park, R. M., Royal, K. D., & Gruen, M. E. (2023). A literature review: Pet bereavement and coping mechanisms. Journal of Applied Animal Welfare Science, 26(3), 285-299.
• Brooks, H. L., Rushton, K., Lovell, K., Bee, P., Walker, L., Grant, L., & Rogers, A. (2018). The power of support from companion animals for people living with mental health problems: A systematic review and narrative synthesis of the evidence. BMC psychiatry, 18(1), 1-12.

Support the show

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@seonhealth.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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One of the biggest puzzles is why some people carry so much anger, pain, depression, or anxiety even though they haven't experienced a "real trauma." This might be a sign of chronic invalidation, when someone received consistent messages that their emotions aren't valid when they're growing up. Chronic invalidation can infect early caregiving environments and can have devastating impacts on mental health in adulthood. In this episode, we talk with Dr. Marcus Rodriguez, associate professor of Pitzer College, Director of the Global Mental Health Lab and founder of the Youth and Family Institute (not to mention, our "lab brother" from Duke). Dr. Rodriguez describes what chronic invalidation looks like and how it can be treated with evidence-based therapies.

• To learn more about Dr. Rodriguez's clinical services for family and adolescents, check out his Youth & Family Institute
• To learn more about clinical trainings with Dr. Rodriguez, check out his training services

Support the Show.

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@seonhealth.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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It's an exciting time when entrepreneurs find the perfect business partner to co-found a new company. However, many don't realize that a staggering 65% of startups fail because of cofounder conflicts. Entrepreneurs who overlook the importance of their business partner relationships are at high risk of misunderstandings, strategy disagreements, or role confusion that can tear a venture apart. In this episode, Kibby talks about how her company Seon Health aims to address this crucial dynamic with evidence-based couples therapy and interpersonal interventions.

Special Offer:

• For entrepreneurs who need help with their toxic relationship with co-founders or business partners, apply for Co-Leader Coaching with Kibby.
• Anyone else interested in relationship coaching with Kibby, email her directly at kibby@seonhealth.com.

Support the Show.

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@seonhealth.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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This is our 100th episode of "A Little Help For Our Friends"! Of course, we celebrate this exciting milestone by reflecting on our successful failures. In this era, people are too afraid to put themselves out there and risk failure. However, we have always encouraged taking risks, trying new skills, saying "yes" to challenges that are scary but meaningful. In this episode, we recount some of our biggest "whoopsies" that ended up being important learning experiences or valuable opportunities. We also share personal tips for how to fail successfully.

Support the show

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@seonhealth.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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We wrap up season 3 reflecting on this doozy of a year. Around a year ago, Jacqueline and Kibby were coming back from Portugal where Jacqueline was breaking off an engagement and Kibby was gestating a huge baby. We talk about the lessons learned during these major life changes, which inspired our episodes on healing from difficult relationships, postpartum depression, and men.

Support the show

• If you have a loved one struggling with mental health and need support, Dr. Kibby McMahon can help. Join the waitlist or email her at kibby@seonhealth.com to learn more.
• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

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In our last episode, we talked about how men are struggling these days with shifting gender roles, identity, and mental health. Now what? How can we help these men and, of course, the women who love them? Jared Glenn is our first returning guest to our podcast and has some answers. In this episode, Jared (writer, historian, father, and advocate), shares some tips for how young men can build their identity and agency as men without the toxicity. 

• Check out The All Stars Project, that supports underserved youth and families.

Support the showFor more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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"Men are trash." "Why are all men such babies." "Ken in the new Barbie movie is insufferable...but also lowkey the best part of the movie." If you've said one one of the former statements, there's a reason for that. Men of this generation are experiencing a crisis of identity, purpose and mental health. In this episode, we discuss why men are legitimately having a hard time and how it impacts their loved ones. We base our discussion on the book "Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What To Do About It" by Richard Reeves.

• Reeves, R. (2022). Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male is Struggling, why it Matters, and what to Do about it. Brookings Institution Press.

Support the showFor more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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Careers in STEM fields are notoriously challenging for women. Female engineers and scientists often struggle with imposter syndrome, self-doubt and burnout as a result of trying to make it in these male-dominated fields. Emily Calandrelli shatters this glass ceiling as a former MIT engineer, science communicator, and host/producer of popular shows "Xploration Outer Space" and "Emily's Wonder Lab." In this episode, we talk to Emily about her personal journey and how she encourages women in STEM.

• Follow Emily on her Instagram @thespacegal
• Emily's Wonder Lab on Netflix
• Emily's "Ada Lace" book series

Support the showFor more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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Whether it's an occasional Netflix binge or one of the Seven Deadly Sins, laziness is often a poorly regarded quality. But what is it, anyway? In this episode, we search for a definition of laziness and explanations for why someone would be considered lazy. Based on the research on motivation in the workplace, we offer some evidence-based tips for beating laziness.

Support the showFor more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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As helpful as traditional therapy can be, there simply aren't enough affordable therapists for everyone who needs mental health care. To address this growing problem, companies like Akili Interactive use technology to create innovative, accessible solutions for treating psychological disorders. In this episode, Dr. Adam Gazzaley (co-founder and Chief Scientific Advisor) and Dr. Scott Kollins (Chief Medical Officer) tell us about how Akili made the groundbreaking video game that has FDA approval to treat Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). We discuss how the game "EndeavorOTC" works and the potential for digital tools for mental health.

• Check out EndeavorOTC on Instagram and TikTok
• The team at Akili has provided a special link offering a discounted annual subscription for EndeavorOTC!

Instructions for redeeming the discount:

1) Download EndeavorOTC from the iOS app store.
2) Copy and paste the URL into your browser: https://apps.apple.com/redeem?ctx=offercodes&id=6447322997&code=HWM4TWJTYT6JLPRWJR&pt=1026987&mt=8&ct=HWM4TWJTYT6JLPRWJR
3) Redeem the offer and get started!

Please note: If you copy & paste the URL into your browser before downloading EndeavorOTC, be sure to download after you redeem the offer. It may not always happen on "auto-download" from the iOS app store. * Learn more about Akili or EndeavorOTC or EndeavorRX

*Note: Akili is not paying us, we just think they're cool.

Support the showFor more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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Bullying is a widespread problem that can have a devastating, psychological impact on victims. With the explosion of social media and the internet, bullying can now happen both in public spaces and at our fingertips. Kendall Long is a fan favorite from ABC's Bachelor franchise and co-host of podcast "Little Curiosities with Kendall Long." In this episode, Kendall opens up about her history with being bullied and how her loved ones supported her through these difficult experiences. 

• Check out Kendall's podcast "Little Curiosities"
• Connect with Kendall on Instagram

Support the showFor more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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How do you show someone you love them? How does someone else make you feel loved in return? In 1992, Gary Chapman made "love languages" a household concept, proposing that we all have five main ways we prefer to give and receive love. In this episode, we discuss the five love languages and tips for how to show love according to each language. We also review the research on this topic and apply the science to our understanding of love languages.

• Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages"
• Egbert, N., & Polk, D. (2006). Speaking the language of relational maintenance: A validity test of Chapman's Five Love Languages. Communication Research Reports, 23(1), 19-26.

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Falling in love can be one of the most invigorating yet terrifying experiences of our lives. But what is it, really? When can we trust the fall and when should we stay cautious? In this episode, we discuss the science of falling in love and by reviewing some theories from psychological research. We also discuss the experiences of falling in loves from our own lives and evidence-based tips to understanding its impact on our well-being. 

Resources:

• Aron, A., Paris, M., & Aron, E. N. (1995). Falling in love: Prospective studies of self-concept change. Journal of personality and social psychology, 69(6), 1102.
• ​Brogaard, B. (2019). Love in Contemporary Psychology and Neuroscience. In The Routledge Handbook of Love in Philosophy (pp. 465-478). Routledge.

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It's a sad reality that many cultures promote ideal body types that we never seem to achieve. In this episode, we discuss body image issues: what they are, where they come from, and tips for protecting your mental health from them. We also discuss our personal relationships with body image from the perspective of race and family values.

Check out: Alleva, J. M., Sheeran, P., Webb, T. L., Martijn, C., & Miles, E. (2015). A meta-analytic review of stand-alone interventions to improve body image. PLoS One, 10(9), e0139177.

For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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In every episode, we talk about people struggling with mental health, and we are no exception. Kibby has been dealing with postpartum depression (PPD), exacerbated by identity shifts and sleep deprivation that are common with new parents. In this episode, we talk about Kibby's personal experience with depression and how it directly affected her relationship with Jacqueline. We share what steps Kibby's taking to recovery that are often recommended to those with PPD.

Check out: Sarah Bossio (www.yourzenbabysleep.com), the coach that helped Kibby sleep train her baby and saved her sanity

For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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The words of Thai Massage Master Pichest, we need to learn to "listen to body." Trauma and other emotions live in the body, sometimes sending us important signals through our physical sensations and physical health. In this episode, we talk about the magical connection between the mind and the body. Kibby also reminisces about her yoga teaching and Thai massage days when she learned the healing power of the body in the middle of a rice patty in Chiang Mai.

Check out: Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York.

​Yehuda, R., & Lehrner, A. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. World psychiatry, 17(3), 243-257.

Kuhfuß, M., Maldei, T., Hetmanek, A., & Baumann, N. (2021). Somatic experiencing–effectiveness and key factors of a body-oriented trauma therapy: a scoping literature review. European journal of psychotraumatology, 12(1), 1929023.

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How can sexuality, spirituality, and mental health intersect and develop together? In this episode, we interview the first openly trans and nonbinary pastor of the Presbyterian Church, Jess Cook. We discuss gender, including how Jess came to identify as nonbinary, early signs that they were genderqueer, and how friends and family can help their loved ones struggling with gender dysphoria— and how they can manage their own complex feelings. We also discuss how Christianity came to exclude queer people and why this exclusion is anathema to Christian principles. Jess tells us about their own inclusive church and their experience helping queer youth feel welcome and safe within Christianity.

Check out Jess Cook's Every Table, a new inclusive worshipping community

Check out genderspectrum.org for more resources

For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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Can money buy happiness? Maybe! Financial stress is a major contributor to serious mental health issues, especially depression and anxiety. But the numbers on your bank statement are not the only things that determine your psychological wellbeing. In this episode, we discuss the research on the effect of money and financial hardship on mental health and happiness. We also walk through one framework for how to boost your financial coping skills with your loved ones.

Frankham, C., Richardson, T., & Maguire, N. (2020). Psychological factors associated with financial hardship and mental health: A systematic review. Clinical psychology review, 77, 101832.

​Can money buy happiness? Study

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What if we told you that our brains can shut down to protect themselves? When we face intensely scary or overwhelming experiences, sometimes we disconnect from the present as a coping mechanism. This is called dissociation, a process of disconnecting from present experiences like your thoughts, feelings, memories, your body, or even reality itself. In this episode, we discuss the different types of dissociation, what it feels like, and how we help ourselves and others during these dissociative states.

Check out the Dissociative Experiences Scale- II for a self-report measure of dissociation.

Zerubavel, N., & Messman-Moore, T. L. (2015). Staying present: Incorporating mindfulness into therapy for dissociation. Mindfulness, 6, 303-314.

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Emotional abuse can be the sneakiest form of abuse because sometimes we're not even sure it's happening. A slightly sarcastic insult, a veiled threat, or a judgment on your intentions, emotional (or"psychological") abuse is harder to detect than physical violence, but can wreak havoc on your mental health for years. In this episode, we describe what emotional abuse is and what are its long term effects.

Check out the Emotional Abuse Questionnaire

McMahon, K., Hoertel, N., Wall, M. M., Okuda, M., Limosin, F., & Blanco, C. (2015). Childhood maltreatment and risk of intimate partner violence: A national study. Journal of psychiatric research, 69, 42-49.

For more info, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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When someone is diagnosed with a chronic mental or physical health challenge, it creates a host of difficulties for his or her loved ones: What does it mean to live with a new diagnosis? How do we cope together? Should we hold them to the same level of expectation or accommodate for their new limitations? Dr. Kate Lund is a licensed clinical psychologist, peak performance coach, best-selling author and TEDx speaker. In this episode, Dr. Lund describes what it means to be resilient, drawing on her own history with a serious neurological disorder and her clinical work with families.

Check out Dr. Lund's website: www.katelundspeaks.com
For more info, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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You and your loved ones may find yourselves making the same mistakes in love over and over again: avoiding commitment, choosing the wrong partner, analyzing and obsessing over every text, etc. Attachment theory taught us that we may have particular patterns in relationships, whether they're secure or insecure. However, are we doomed to make the same mistakes for the rest of our lives? Thankfully, Dr. Catherine Sanderson reassures us that we aren't! In this episode, we discuss how we can improve our attachment patterns with Dr. Sanderson, the Poler family professor of psychology at Amherst College and an expert on close relationships. She shares insights and tips from the latest research on attachment patterns.

Check out Dr. Sanderson's book: "The positive shift: Mastering mindset to improve happiness, health and longevity."
For more info, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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Whether we're aware of it or not, we're constantly judging things are good or bad, valuable or worthless, cool or not cool. Judging ourselves and others is such a common phenomenon, but it can lead to significant mental health and relationship issues. In this episode, we discuss being judgmental, what function it serves and how it can impair our wellbeing. We also discuss tips for how to be less judgmental of ourselves or our loved ones.

For more info, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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Is your loved one an expert ghoster or the first one to run from a social situation? People with avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) are not just shy or a little aloof, but avoid relationships and social situations in order to hide a deep sense of inadequacy. In this episode, we describe what AVPD is, how it's different from similar disorders like social anxiety, how it's treated, and tips for loved ones of people with AVPD.

Read more about AVPD here: ​Weinbrecht, A., Schulze, L., Boettcher, J., & Renneberg, B. (2016). Avoidant personality disorder: a current review. Current psychiatry reports, 18(3), 1-8.
For more info, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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Do you have a loved one who is always the life of the party, everyone's best friend, and a "drama queen"? If so, they may have a touch of histrionic personality disorder! In this episode, we describe what histrionic personality disorder is and how it could be difficult for loved ones. Then, Kibby has a crushing realization about her own history with histrionic personality disorder and loses track of everything after that.

Read more about HPD here: ​Pfohl, B. (1991). Histrionic personality disorder: A review of available data and recommendations for DSM-IV. Journal of Personality Disorders, 5(2), 150-166.
and here: French, J. H., & Shrestha, S. (2021). Histrionic personality disorder. In StatPearls [Internet]. StatPearls Publishing.
For more info, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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From Patrick Bateman, to Walter White, to Elizabeth Holmes, we're fascinated by people with antisocial personality disorder. Although, when we toss around similar terms like "psychopath" or "sociopath," it's hard to know what this disorder really is or even how to spot it in our loved ones. In this episode, we define what antisocial personality disorder is and how it relates to psychopathy and sociopathy. We also share examples from popular culture and our personal lives as well as answer fan questions about antisocial personality disorder.

To read more, check out: Hare, R. D. (1999). Without conscience: The disturbing world of the psychopaths among us. Guilford Press
Here's an Article on Hare's Psychopathy Checklist
For more info, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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We all know that high self-esteem is supposed to be good, but what is it, anyway? Is it just feeling good about yourself? What happens if you or a loved one has low self-esteem? In this episode, we define self-esteem and discuss an interesting theory of how self-esteem is a "sociometer" of our value in society. From this perspective, we give tips on how to boost self-esteem in yourself and your loved ones.

Read more about the Sociometer Theory of Self-Esteem
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For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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Convinced your loved one (or unloved one) is a narcissist but can't really tell? Narcissistic behavior can be hard to spot these days as it often shows up as expressions of shame, hurt, or even feeling like a victim. Vulnerable, or "covert" narcissism can be harder to identify than the arrogant, showy grandiose version but it can be just as damaging to loved ones. In this episode, we describe vulnerable/covert narcissism in depth and how to tell if your loved one is showing signs of this problematic narcissistic behavior.

Check out a great example of vulnerable narcissism from HBO's "Girls"
Test for vulnerable narcissistic behavior with the Hypersensitive Narcissism ScaleFor more info, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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People often say that becoming a parent is "the hardest thing" but also "the most joy you'll ever experience." What the hell does that even mean? As Kibby just became a new mom only a few weeks ago, she breaks down why having a newborn can be both amazing and challenging. We also discuss how crucial loved ones are during this time and how you can support a friend or family member who just became a parent.

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When you go through a serious break up, we often rebound into another relationship to ease the heartbreak. At this time, your loved ones may give you unsolicited advice about rebounding, such as "yes, get back out there!" or "no, take time to be single." What's the right answer? Is it good or bad to get into a rebound relationship right after a big break up? In this episode, we discuss the different reasons why someone might rebound and the pros and cons of this decision.

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We always have to make difficult decisions in romantic relationships, such as whom to choose, whether we should commit to someone, or when to leave. Although loved ones can sometimes want to weigh in on our difficult romantic decisions, it's hard for them to know exactly how to help. In this episode, we discuss Jacqueline's recent difficult decision to break off her engagement, what lead up to the decision, and the role that her loved ones played. We also share insights from the research on how people make difficult decisions in romance.

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We wrap up season 2 by reflecting on our episodes that focused on relationships, emotions and skills we can use to change our unhealthy patterns. Both of us have gone through our own personal, journeys with love, pregnancy, engagements, conflicts and intense feelings during this season. In this vulnerable final episode, we discuss lessons learned in our personal lives and on this podcast.

We look forward to joining you all again for Season 3 this fall!
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Only one basic emotion has the unique position of being one of the seven deadly sins and a criteria for a serious personality disorder: Envy! Envy is a feeling that comes from a desire to have what someone else has. Although it can motivate us to compete for resources and power, it can of course have an ugly side when it tips into aggression. In this episode, we discuss what envy is, who struggles with it, and tips from CBT for how to overcome it.

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A little flare of jealousy when someone flirts with your partner may be exciting once in a while, but it can damage a relationship when it becomes intense or consuming. Unhealthy or "morbid" jealousy can reach levels of obsessive suspicions, controlling behaviors, checking emails and social media, or even violence. In this episode, we discuss unhealthy forms of jealousy, who is most likely to suffer from jealousy, and tips for improving a jealousy-ridden relationship.

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A common question we get is "what to do with the Fox News dad?" In other words, how do we maintain our relationships with our loved ones during this time of social divide and polarization? In this episode, we discuss these issues with Jared Glenn, who evolved from a life as a professional fighter to a historian, academic, writer, and advocate for youth through the All Stars Project. Jared shares insights from his personal and professional experiences with racial, political and economic social barriers and gives us tips on bridging those gaps.

Check out: Jared's Instagram: do.right.and.fear.nothing
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Do you or your loved ones obsess about being in the right relationship or being with the right partner? Although those questions are very common in every relationship, at an extreme level could be considered relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder (ROCD). ROCD is an understudied and relatively new form of obsessive-compulsive disorder that can interfere with intimacy or relational wellbeing. In this episode, we define ROCD, share the insights and tips from recent research, and speculate wildly about whether Jacqueline has it or not.

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ASMR, or Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, is a tingling, pleasurable sensation you can get from listening to certain sounds or visuals. This mysterious and curious phenomenon has inspired an explosion of internet communities and resources in recent years, with some notable mental health benefits. For this episode, we discuss this growing trend with ASMR content creator Danny Docile, who explains what ASMR is, how he got into this work, and even gives us a little demonstration! If anything, tune into this episode to hear Danny's lovely, ASMR-inducing English accent.

Check out Danny Docile's ASMR channel: Danny Docile ASMR
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We feel guilty when we do something wrong, driving us to fix it, apologize or repair. Sounds great, doesn't it? As helpful as guilt can be sometimes, extreme levels or pathological guilt can drive symptoms of many mental health issues such as OCD, depression, PTSD or prolonged grief. In this episode, we discuss what guilt is, what pathological levels of guilt look like, and tips for yourself or loved ones to address problems with guilt.

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We're all familiar with disgust as the feeling of our stomach churning or scrunching our noses at the sight of something gross, but does this feeling lead to mental health issues? In this episode, we discuss how disgust may play an important role in many psychiatric disorders such as anxiety, OCD and even trauma. We also discuss the different types of disgust and strategies that could be helpful for coping with this emotion.

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Do you ever feel a little embarrassed when you do something foolish? Or do you ever feel so deeply ashamed of yourself that you hide from the world or lash out at others? These are different levels of shame, which can sometimes cause serious problems in your identity and relationships. In extreme forms, shame can be the core of borderline personality disorder (BPD). In this episode, we will define shame and highlight different ways people react to shame. Jacqueline will share her recent research into the role of shame in BPD. We also share tips for loved ones or people struggling with shame.

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Pregnancy is a wild ride of physical transformations, swells of emotion, and confusing hormones. So many changes can be taxing for mental health, both for the mother to be and her social support system. In this episode, we discuss Kibby's first pregnancy journey and the research on the mental health issues and treatment for pregnancy. We also share tips for partners and loved ones to support the process.

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Have you been knocking back a few too many glasses of Chardonnay these days? You're not alone. Especially after the pandemic, many people have noticed that they or their loved ones have started drinking a little too much alcohol (or indulging in other drugs) and want to cut down. However, sometimes "just stopping" isn't as easy as it sounds. In this episode, Jacqueline and Kibby talk about their recent experiences cutting back on drinking and share tips from Community Reinforcement and Family Training for how loved ones can help someone with addictive patterns or substance abuse.

Check out the book "Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change"
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Is it possible to suddenly remember if you've been abused? We discuss this highly controversial topic with Dr. Jonathan Schooler, a distinguished professor in the Psychological and Brain Sciences department at University of California Santa Barbara. As one of the only researchers brave enough to tackle this topic, Dr. Schooler describes his work on memories of abuse and other early traumas that were discovered later in life. He shares insights from the research as well as some speculations on how we can tell if a discovered memory is real or false.

Dr. Schooler's paper on discovered memories: https://labs.psych.ucsb.edu/schooler/jonathan/sites/labs.psych.ucsb.edu.schooler.jonathan/files/pubs/schooler_2001_-_memories_of_abuse_and_meta-awareness.pdf
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Do you have emotions you struggle with, like intense sadness, anxiety and anger that can get you into trouble? Sometimes when we have intense emotions, we can act in ways that can even make the situation worse, like getting into arguments or running away from a situation. To follow up on our CBT skills series, we discuss strategies for changing these unhealthy emotional patterns. We discuss emotions, how we behave when we're emotional, and a skill to change our emotions from the Unified Protocol treatment.

For a tool to help you emotions: https://redemptionpsychiatry.com/docs/DBT--Emotion_Regulation_Packet.pdf
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The thoughts running through our mind shape the way we see the world, other people, and ourselves. But what if the way we think keeps us stuck or unhappy? In this episode, we talk about the different ways cognitive behavioral therapists have changed the way patients think and rewire negative thought patterns. We also list several common "thinking traps," or thought patterns that often lead to anxiety or depression. Jacqueline demonstrates an intervention from the Unified Protocol as she tries to change Kibby's stubborn core beliefs that drive her to questionable levels of burnout.

For a guide to tracking and changing thoughts: https://www.psychologytools.com/self-help/thought-records/
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When some people suffer from so many different psychological problems and disorders at the same time, how can they get the biggest bang out of their buck in therapy? Clinical psychology has shifted into a "transdiagnostic approach," which focuses research and treatment on psychological problems that tie together separate disorders. In this episode, we describe one new transdiagnostic treatment, called the Unified Protocol for Transdiagnostic Emotional Disorders that was developed for anxiety, depression, and other types of emotional problems. The Unified Protocol gives a great example of this innovative approach to treatment.

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Bipolar disorder can be a serious and debilitating illness that swings from the lows of depression to the highs of mania. The expansive energy, lack of sleep, increase in impulsive and unusual behavior, and all around changes in character of someone in a manic episode can be especially alarming to loved ones. In this episode, we decode bipolar disorder and how to tell if someone is in a manic episode. We also talk about how there is a lot of hope for people with bipolar disorder and their loved ones, as there are very effective treatments available. Kibby discusses a few findings from her early project reviewing psychotherapies for bipolar depression.

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Scrolling through Instagram, you might be showered with advice from mental health influencers to "just practice self-care" and "love yourself." But what does that even mean anyway? In this short and sweet episode, we delve into the definition of self-care and what that actually looks like from a clinical psychology perspective. We draw upon the principles of Behavioral Activation, a treatment for depression, to understand what activities actually promote mental health.

Check out this Handout for Behavioral Activation
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Note: We uploaded the wrong audio file initially, but the issue has been resolved! Sorry for the inconvenience.
Following our episodes on relationships, we wanted to do an in-depth exploration of "fckboy" or "fckgirl" behavior. Fckpeople are those who have difficulty committing to someone else romantically, sometimes hurting or leading on other people in the process. Well, what a great episode to introduce Kibby's new boyfriend, as a reformed f*ckboy himself. In this episode, the three of us describe our previous commitment issues from female and male perspectives, consider what drove those issues (e.g. dating apps?), and explore how we resolved those issues when we committed to serious relationships.

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Do you or someone you love have thoughts, images or urges that keep coming back even when they're not wanted? Or have to do something over and over, like checking something or counting up to a certain number? If so, this episode is for you: Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). In this episode, we describe the diagnosis and different types of OCD, the theory behind how it develops, and an effective treatment for OCD.

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For this episode, Sydney Lotuaco from ABC's The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise and host of podcast Something to Share joins us to discuss  the many changes in her career. As a trained dancer, Sydney describes how her career became her identity, which faced a crisis during the pandemic. She also describes the toll it took on her mental health and her path to healing.

Check out more from Sydney: @Sydneylotuaco and @somethingtosharepodcast
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Ever wonder what makes people attracted to each other? Or why you may be attracted to the "wrong person"? Or why you feel feel that spark of sexual chemistry with some people and not others? In this episode, Jacqueline and Kibby discuss the principles of attraction from a scientific perspective. As a bonus, Jacqueline describes her recent engagement and how ABC's The Bachelor used principles of attraction to sow the seeds of love season after season.

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Grief after losing a loved one can be overwhelming for both the individual and the friends and family who want to support them. When offering condolences to someone grieving, people often don't know how to say the "right" thing or even know how to help in this situation with no quick fix. We delve into the experience of grief through the lens of Kibby's loss in her personal life and Jacqueline's experience treating complicated grief in her clinical work.

Resources:  Complicated grief resources
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We have something very special for our 50th episode: an interview with Sarah Edmondson, the actress and podcast host who escaped Nxivm. Featured on HBO's The Vow, Nxivm is a group organization that claims to be a personal and professional development program, but has been discovered as a cult that recruits for a secret society called "DOS" in which women are sexually exploited. Sarah describes her experiences in Nxivm and DOS, the journey to realizing the true nature of organization, and her process of healing after her departure.

Resources: "A Little Bit Culty" Podcast and Sarah's Memoir: "Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM the Cult that Bound My Life."
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Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a range of conditions marked by different social skills, communication, and repetitive behaviors. Naturally, the social challenges inherent in this disorder can be difficult for loved ones of people with ASD. Dr. Catherine Jones, a research psychologist and director of the Wales Autism Research Center joins us to describe the signs and symptoms of autism and how loved ones can learn to embrace the unique perspective and gifts of people with ASD.

Check out The Birthday Party: A film about the SIGNS of autism in children
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Claustrophobia, arachnophobia, aerophobia, trypophobia may all sound like chorus members of a Greek tragedy, but actually describe different types of a common psychological disorder: Specific phobias. In this episode, we discuss what phobias are, how they develop, and how they are treated with cognitive behavioral therapies. Kibby and Jacqueline also share funny examples of phobias from their own life.

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We continue our deep dive into ADHD (Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) by talking to an expert, Dr. Jessica Stern, who is a clinical assistant professor and psychologist at New York University. Dr. Stern shares her insights working with adults with ADHD, including strategies to manage ADHD symptoms, tips for loved ones, and treatment approaches.

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This episode was highly requested after our first ADHD episode in Season 1. Having a child with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder can be especially challenging for parents. In this episode, we talk with Dr. Julia Schechter, a child and family clinical psychologist at Duke University about how parents can best support their children with ADHD. She gives an overview of ADHD in children, tips for parents, and special considerations/resources for girls with ADHD (e.g. the new Duke Center for Girls and Women with ADHD!). 

Duke Center for Girls and Women With ADHD:  https://adhdgirlsandwomen.org/
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For our final episode in our mini relationships series, we discuss divorce. Although almost half of marriages in the United States end in separation or divorce, but we rarely expect to go through it ourselves or plan how we would cope with it. Kibby shares her personal experiences coping with divorce and we share tips and recent research on the impact of divorce on mental health.

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Cheating can be one of the most devastating forms of betrayals in a romantic relationship. In this episode, we discuss what is infidelity, why it happens, and how it impacts the individuals involved. From both a research and clinical perspective, we share insights on how a couple can work through infidelity and how other loved ones can support you after you've been cheated on.

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For this second episode of our couples series, we discuss what can make or break a romantic relationship. We share tips and insights from research by Dr. John Gottman, a renown marriage and relationship expert from University of Washington. Drawing from decades of his research, we talk about the signs that predict divorce with an impressive 91% accuracy. On the flip side, we share what is central to a healthy marriage and how to improve your relationship with simple, effective strategies.

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Anyone who has been stuck in a pattern of endless conflict with a partner can understand how the quality of our romantic relationships can make or break our mental health. Even though it may seem like a last resort, couples therapy can have benefits at any stage of a relationship. In this episode, we discuss the process of couples therapy, including what to expect from treatment and how it works. Jacqueline and Kibby share their insights from both personal as well as professional experiences with couples therapy.

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Although they love us and often want the best for us, family members can often be huge sources of stress. Sometimes parents and other close family members can be difficult because they suffer from a mental illness, but other times our relationship with them is just toxic. In this episode, we talk with Dr. Caitlin Fang, a psychotherapist who has both personal and professional experience with dysfunctional family relationships. We discuss different types of toxic family dynamics as well as tips for how to cope with them.

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Psychologists are just beginning to understand misophonia, a syndrome marked by intense reactions (e.g. rage) to specific sounds, like chewing, sniffing, or tapping. While we can all relate to the experience of being annoyed by certain sounds, people who suffer from misophonia find it debilitating and difficult to carry out a normal life. Yet, there is so much we don't know about this syndrome as the science is brand new. In this episode, we talk to Dr. Zach Rosenthal from Duke University, who is quickly becoming the world's leading expert on misophonia and its treatment as a psychological disorder. Dr. Rosenthal shares insights from our research in the Center for Misophonia and Emotion Regulation, especially tips on how loved ones can manage their symptoms.

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We're back for an exciting second season! In this episode, we discuss imposter syndrome, the feeling of doubting yourself and your capabilities in a professional setting and being afraid of being exposed as a fraud. We discuss imposter syndrome in the light of gender and racial biases in the workplace, as well as tips for loved ones to suppose those who suffer from it. (warning: some cursing in this episode)

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For our final episode of our first season, we reflect on the lessons learned from all of our discussions, guests and listeners' stories from the past year. We also give updates and teasers for what's coming up in Season 2.

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To follow up on our previous popular episode on infertility (episode 30), Jacqueline shares her personal experiences as she goes through the egg freezing process and learning about her fertility issues. In this unique episode, we open up about our grief, worries, and conflicts about family planning when getting pregnant naturally is not an option. Be advised that this is a candid and emotional episode so it contains personal information, medical descriptions, and swearing. 

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We spend about a third of our lives sleeping and yet sleep is a struggle for many of us. In this episode, we talk with Dr. Jade Wu, a Board-certified sleep medicine specialist and researcher at Duke University School of Medicine, about sleep disorders, sleep hygiene, dreaming, and CBT treatments for sleep issues.

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Although breakups are complex and painful for all those involved, it is a unique challenge to be in the position of "dumping" someone. In this episode, we follow up on our previous episode on breakups by discussing the process of ending romantic relationships. Jacqueline discusses in depth her break up with Arie on ABC's The Bachelor. We also explain a guide to breaking up with someone from Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

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Ending a romantic relationship is always challenging, for both the people in the relationship and the loved ones on the sidelines. In this episode, we discuss the different reasons why breakups are so painful and what we can do to help our loved ones going through them.

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Burnout is on the rise in the pandemic, as we struggled to keep up with our responsibilities while feeling more exhausted and unmotivated. As much as we'd like to blame Zoom fatigue, burnout is a serious syndrome that spans across different types of jobs and professional roles. In this episode, we define burnout and discuss how to address it. Kibby and Jacqueline share personal stories of burnout and the different manifestations it can take.

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Postpartum depression has been on the rise since new mothers take on this new role in the pandemic. Although becoming a parent is always challenging, the persistent negative feelings, irritability, trouble bonding with the baby, and other such experiences can be signs of this illness. In this episode, we invite Dr. Susan Karabell from the women's clinic at Weill Cornell to tell us what postpartum depression is, what are similar postpartum mental health disorders, how it's treated, and what loved ones can do to help.

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Many of our minds are are filled with worries, spinning over the "what if's," worse case scenarios, and solutions that don't feel satisfying. In this episode, we discuss the reason why we worry and how to manage worries that are out of control. We also share tips for those with loved ones who tend to worry a lot.

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Women who want to become mothers often face challenges of infertility and bad relationships. What is the road to motherhood like for these women who find themselves on paths other than the standard, white-picket-fence families you see on social media? Caroline Lunny from ABC's Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise opens up about her journey with fertility issues, egg-freezing, and shifting her perspective on toxic relationships.

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Through incredible sacrifice and hard work for our nation, veterans often struggle with reintegrating back in civilian society and mental health issues from their service. Loved ones of veterans often witness these struggles as well as understand how they can affect families and communities. Fortunately, the Veteran Affairs (VA) system offers significant psychological and psychiatric services and support for veterans and their families. We speak to Dr. Steven Sayers, associate professor of psychology in psychiatry at the Veteran's Administration Medical Center and in department of psychiatry at University of Pennsylvania, about veteran mental health and the program Coaching in Care that supports loved ones of veterans seeking mental health treatment.

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After this pandemic, it would seem unbelievable that anyone would want to be sick. However, people suffering from Muchausen and Muchausen by proxy intentionally fabricate or exaggerate illness for their own gain. This debilitating and often abusive behavior can have widespread consequences for the individuals, families, and even providers involved. In this episode, we have a conversation with special guests Dr. Marc Feldman, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Alabama and expert in Muchausen, and Andrea Dunlop, an author with personal experiences with Muchausen by proxy. Dr. Feldman and Andrea describe this mind-boggling disorder and its devastating effects on the community.

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In the age of the internet, bullying has been taken to new extremes. Cyberbullying, harassment delivered through email, text, or other online platforms, can wreak havoc on the mental health of its victims. Jenna Cooper from ABC's "The Bachelor" and "Bachelor in Paradise" joins us to open up about her painful experiences being cyberbullied, how it affected her mental health and relationships, and how she overcame its devastating effects.

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Emotions can sometimes get so intense and overwhelming, that they seem like bombs going off inside us. When we're in an emotional crisis, we may feel totally out of control and driven by our feelings of panic, rage, shame, etc that may lead us to do things we later regret. In this episode, we talk about these periods of emotional crisis, how to identify them, and how to use TIPP skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy to get back in control of our emotions.

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In recent years, mindfulness has infused itself through every facet of self-care and well-being in modern society. However, it can seem intimidating or even inaccessible if you're new to mindfulness. In this episode, we discuss the basic definition of mindfulness and how to practice it. Kibby also guides Jacqueline through a brief breathing meditation.

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Are you being gaslit? The very nature of gaslighting makes it hard to tell whether it's happening in a relationship, but maybe you can tell that you are feeling lost, "crazy," unsure of your own perspective when dealing with a loved one. In this episode, we discuss what gaslighting is, how to identify when you're being gaslit and what to do about it. We share personal stories, insights from research, and follower stories to highlight the damaging effects of gaslighting on our wellbeing.

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"I'm a perfectionist" may be the favorite answer to interview questions about our weaknesses, as perfectionism is often secretly considered an attractive trait. However, perfectionism can wreak havoc on our mental health and our relationships. In this episode, we discuss different types of perfectionism and its extreme form, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. We talk about how we would treat the downsides of perfectionism with cognitive behavioral therapies and tips for people struggling under the unrelenting standards of their perfectionist loved ones.

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Many teens and adolescents struggle with body image, but what happens when the struggle becomes an eating disorder? In this episode, we invite Dr. Nandini Datta from Stanford University to tell us about eating disorders in this vulnerable population. She talks to us about signs and symptoms of anorexia in teens, her experiences treating anorexia with family-based interventions, and tips for loved ones struggling with this scary and life-threatening illness.

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In this episode, we address our listeners' questions and concerns about the process of therapy. In a recent controversy, old tweets from Taylor Nolan (former Bachelor contestant and current therapist) revealed public, negative judgments about her therapy clients and minority groups. In response to this incident, many of you reached out to us with questions about how they can feel comfortable opening up and trusting a new therapist. We discuss our experiences as therapists, how to find a good therapist, and the process of therapy from our perspective.

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In this very special episode, the 20th Bachelor Ben Higgins joins us to discuss struggling with loneliness and self-doubt. He also talks about learning to connect to himself and others, a personal and professional transformation that he describes in his latest book, "Alone in Plain Sight: Searching for Connection When You're Seen but Not Known."

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Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a challenging syndrome of difficulty paying attention, staying organized, or controlling impulses. ADHD can cause a lot of problems in romantic relationships, both for the person diagnosed with ADHD and his or her partner without ADHD. In this episode, we discuss what ADHD is and how it's diagnosed, as well as the common issues it creates in relationships. Kibby and Jacqueline share personal challenges with ADHD in their romantic relationships, share followers' stories, and give tips on how to manage these problems.

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Panic attacks are some of the most intense, frightening emotional experiences and can make everyone involved feel completely helpless. They are overwhelming moments of intense anxiety that can make you feel like you are losing your mind or having a heart attack. In this episode, we discuss what panic attacks and panic disorder are and how to treat them. Dr. Paul Seli, professor of cognitive psychology at Duke University, will join us again to describe his personal experiences with panic disorder and working through it with principles of cognitive behavioral therapy.

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​We often think of anger as a huge problem, making us lose control and destroy our relationships. Although the ways we may express it can be problematic, anger is an important emotion that can protect us. In this episode, we discuss the reasons why we have anger, how anger can cause problems in our relationships, and how we can better manage it. Kibby and Jacqueline share our personal experiences with anger and draw parallels to how it's addressed in therapy.

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Social anxiety is the hidden struggle of being terrified of making a new friend, going on a date, attending a party, or interviewing for a new job. Social interactions are a ubiquitous part of a life, so having a loved one who is anxious of meeting or talking to less familiar people can often be challenging. In this episode, we talk about what social anxiety disorder is and how it is treated with cognitive behavioral therapies. Jacqueline's brother also joins us to describe his lifelong struggle with social anxiety and how he has learned to cope with it.

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We might think of psychedelics as the inspiration behind Flower power or Steve Jobs' visionary insights, but we would never guess that it would be the promise of new treatments for mental health. In this episode, we talk to Dr. Paul Seli, a cognitive psychologist from Duke University, about the new efforts to understand how psychedelics like psilocybin and LSD can improve depression, anxiety, PTSD and addiction.  *Warning: We  discuss personal experiences and caveats for taking these drugs. We do not endorse use and abuse of illegal substances.

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How do we know if we're in a codependent relationship? In this episode, we discuss what is codependency and how you can tell if you are in a codependent relationship or in a normal relationship with a healthy amount of dependency. Jacqueline shares a friend's description of her codependent family and we discuss how to identify and remove yourself from such relationships.

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In this special episode, Zac Clark from ABC's "Bachelorette" joins us for an in-depth interview on recovery from alcohol and drug abuse. He shares stories and lessons from his journey through addiction to recovery, especially the important role his loved ones played in this process. He also shares his passion for helping others struggling with addiction through his Release Recovery program and fund raising efforts to support this community.

• https://releaserecovery.com/
• GIVE to the Release Recovery Foundation to support addiction recovery services for underserved communities: https://releaserecoveryfoundation.org/

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Many of us have had the terrifying experience of talking with a loved one who is considering suicide and not knowing how to help. Some of us have even lost friends and family to suicide and felt a staggering range of emotions from despair to anger to intense anxiety. Often these reactions leave us feeling guilty and ashamed. Kibby discusses her own recent experience of losing someone to suicide and we read a listener's story of how her brother's suicide affected her family. Finally, we are joined by Harvard professor Dr. Kate Bentley, a suicide researcher and clinician who gives us actionable advice for helping a friend considering suicide.

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Instead of setting New Years resolutions, we're learning how to live in line with our values for 2021. In this episode, we discuss how we understand "values" in contemporary cognitive behavioral therapies and how to get back in touch with them. Kibby helps Jacqueline clarify her values to show how we would approach this topic with our therapy clients.

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In this pandemic winter, loneliness has weighed more heavily on all of us this holiday season. In this episode, we discuss coping with feeling lonely, whether it's because of a temporary state of being socially isolated, a recent loss of important relationships, or a more long-standing pattern of disconnection from others. Jacqueline and Kibby talk about their experiences treating chronic loneliness in therapy and share tips on how to reconnect with others in our lives.

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Are you dating someone who simultaneously draws you in yet keeps you at arms length? Thinks the world of him/herself yet crumbles at any criticism?  Puts themselves on display yet hides themselves? You might be with someone who has pathological levels of narcissism. Having an ego and self-esteem is normal and healthy, but some loved ones struggle with them so much that it can be considered Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In this episode, we talk about how pathological narcissism affect romantic relationships and give real-world examples from Jacqueline's dating history. We also feature a very special guest, Dr. Diana Diamond, who is Kibby's clinical supervisor at Weill Cornell/NY Presbyterian hospital and an expert on pathological narcissism.

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Depression is one of the most common psychiatric disorders, but it continues to confuse, frustrate, and elude the people around those who suffer from it. In this episode, we talk about how depression is not just a mood, but an illness that affects the way people engage with their goals, relationships, and themselves. Jacqueline shares her personal struggles with depression. We also feature an interview with a special guest, Dr. Tim Strauman, a professor at Duke University who is an expert in depression and treatments for depression.

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Requested by our lovely audience, we delve deeper into the topic of setting boundaries with our loved ones struggling with mental health issues. In the past few episodes, we have emphasized the need to use empathy/validation (check out episode 5) while setting boundaries to manage these difficult relationships. But how do we even do that? In this episode, we discuss the nuances of setting boundaries and the DEAR MAN skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a framework for asserting your needs.

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Recent events like the Me Too Movement, Black Lives Matter, and the pandemic have brought awareness to the many faces of trauma and its ripple effects on our lives. Although we may feel compassion for our loved ones who are trauma survivors, it can be a uniquely challenging experience to be close to someone struggling with symptoms of trauma. In this episode, we describe what trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder are and how to spot symptoms in our loved ones. We are also joined by a special guest, Dr. Caitlin Fang, who is both a therapist with expertise in treating trauma and someone with a trauma survivor as a loved one.

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In this time of social distancing and national divisions, empathy is needed more than ever. Empathy is the ability to perceive, understand, and react to other people's emotions. In this episode, we talk about the different types of empathy and how lacking empathy in relationships can relate to mental health problems. We share tips from clinical science (e.g. Kibby's dissertation!) about how one can improve the ability to empathize with others.

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Quarantining with our romantic partners has been a gift for some of us, a challenge for others. What kinds of relationships have thrived in the pandemic and which ones have suffered? In this episode, we will draw upon attachment theory to discuss how to understand and navigate the unique challenges romantic relationships face during this pandemic.

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Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious psychiatric illness that can be especially challenging for loved ones suffering from this disorder. In this episode, we share insights from the BPD literature to understand what this disorder is and how it develops in the first place. This episode features a special guest speaker, Dr. Zachary Rosenthal from Duke University who is an expert on treating BPD and will share tips on how loved ones of people with BPD can manage these relationships.

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Some of us have noticed that our roommates, loved ones, or friends have started drinking or using drugs more during COVID-19. Has it become a problem? If so, what do we do? In this episode, we outline the DSM criteria for substance abuse and discuss our own struggles with loved ones who suffered from severe alcoholism. We discuss the importance of boundaries, managing expectations, and self-care. We end with tips for opening a dialogue with friends whose drinking or drug use are beginning to concern us.

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COVID-19 and resultant quarantine have led to job loss, separation, boredom, and a whole lot of uncertainty about the future. In this episode, we discuss Dialectical Behavioral Therapy's IMPROVE skills as a way we might help your friends who are suffering from COVID-related anxiety and depression. We end with a focused discussion on meaning, especially through the work of Holocaust-survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl.

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