Multiamory – Life on the Swingset: Recent Episodes
Multiamory – Life on the Swingset
Multiamory is the place for you to find new ideas and out-of-the-box thinking about relationships. Our insights come from lots of research and years of personal experience with polyamory, but the information found here is useful for people in any type of relationship. Whether you are poly, considering diving into it, or just looking to have better monogamous relationships, our tips and ideas will help you to have the healthiest, happiest, and sexiest life possible.
We had a good ranting session during recording the previous episode in regard to gender specific experiences when it comes to having arguments and yelling. We chat about how raising voices and expressing ones self differs by gender and how it is percieved can be gender specific as well. We compare how yelling is percieved [...]
Commitment is so often misunderstood when it comes to non-monogamy. We discuss definitions of commitment and identifying the traditional markers of commitment we've all grown up with. We realize that it can be difficult defining what it means exactly within the confines of non-monogamy as it doesn't necessarily fit the stereotypical mold (but that is [...]
So what exactly is emotional support. How do you ask for it? How do you go about learning what kind of emotional support that you need. What kind does your partner need? Even not knowing what kind of support you need in the moment and admitting it can go a long way! On this episode, [...]
Jealousy happens in all types of relationships, but what is the science behind why we respond with jealousy to certain situations. What happens inside our bodies and minds in response things that make us feel jealousy. On this episode, we explore the scientific why behind jealousy and some ways to combat that internal struggle. If [...]
Are you suffering from a Monogamy Hangover? We'll give you a dose of medicine to help cure what ails you. Many of us have been given a set of relationship expectations growing up and with changing those expectations, some pieces of those old beliefs and expectations are still left over. On this episode, we talk [...]
What does Sex Positivity and Sex Negativity actually mean? There is a lot of confusion surrounding these terms. People have a tendancy to throw these terms around with little to no explanation which just seems to add to the confusion. On this episode, we attempt to help define these two terms as best as we [...]
Conflict is inevitable, but conflict can be productive. Everyone gets into fights and arguments but that doesn't mean your relationship is unhealthy or in trouble. On this episode, we talk about fighting fair instead of fighting dirty. Some of us fight with the misconception that we MUST win the fight to succeed. Sometimes we fight [...]
Are you currently living together? Thinking about moving in? Why do you want to move in together? On this episode, we tackle some of the situations & questions that arise when cohabitation is on the table as well as statistics about living together for couples. We cover questions to ask yourself, actionable items to make [...]
Failure is always an option, but it doesn't have to be the end of the world. We hear about failure quite a bit when it comes to schooling and even jobs/career but failure doesn't always get talked about in regard to relationships. It seems to be a dirty word when it comes to relationships because [...]
Listen all ya'll, it's a sabotage! Okay this episode isn't really about the famous Beastie Boy song, it's about something much more serious. Self-Sabotage can be a vicious cycle. On this episode, we tackle self-Sabotage in relationships and in life. Procrastination, addiction, self-worth issues and so much more. We also provide some insight on how [...]
What exactly IS attraction? How important is attraction? Why are we attracted to certain people or attributes? There are a lot of myths and misconceptions floating around out there. On this episode, we tackle what attraction is, how it affects who we choose as partners and even how attraction is related to sex drive. We [...]
Anger is usually viewed as bad or something that should be stifled from a very young age. However, anger can be a force for good too! A lot of folks tend to repress their anger or express it in unhealthy ways. In this episode, we cover how to use your anger in a more positive [...]
What happens when you don't get along with your metamours? Or perhaps one of your metamours doesn't like you and you feel stuck in the middle. Today, we cover some of the struggles you might face in your polyamorous relationship(s). Things won't always go perfect, so we cover ways on how to properly deal with [...]
Today we tackle insecurities. Insecurities tend to affect our relationships and ultimately overall our happiness. We open up and share some of our own personal insecurities that we are currently dealing with. But don't fret, we provide ways to alleviate those insecurities while still maintaining your sense of humility and not compromising boundaries. If you [...]
We speak to Kevin Patterson & Alana Phelan author's of For Hire: Operator. The book is an all encompassing love story and super hero novel all wrapped into one. 2 women of color with super human powers whose story touches on subjects on consent, polyamory, gender-non-conformity, safe sex practices, sex clubs and more! These super [...]
Is anyone really ever ready? This week we delve into the different signs that determine if you are ready to become polyamorous…or not. We talk about personal attributes that are helpful to have when beginning a new relationship style, red flags to watch out for when you are starting out, and our own personal experiences [...]
It's Multiamory's milestone 200th episode! We take part in a veritable retrospective hootenanny – sharing which tools, research, and lessons from creating the show that have had the most long lasting effects on our relationships and ourselves. Turns out that talking about sex, relationships, and communication every week for 200 weeks has some interesting outcomes! [...]
This week we're joined by transgender rights activist and YouTube sensation Kat Blaque. We talk about outness and visibility, handling criticism and backlash online, worthiness in relationships, and navigating polyamorous dating while trans and black. You can find Kat's youtube channel at youtube.com/katblaque and her new blog on polyamory at agirlnamedkathryn.com. If you want to [...]
We all experience loss – the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, being let go from a job. This week we discuss helping a partner through grief, how to care for yourself while you're caring for someone else, and also the particular challenges non-monogamous relationships present when coping with loss. If [...]
For many people. the very topic of HIV is quite scary, but not so for our guest this week, Liz Sutherland of Positive Life New South Wales. We chat with Liz about the vast wealth of information that most of us don't know about HIV. including how it's epidemiology is changing, effective methods for treatment [...]
Fortunately, there's no Polyamory Board of Directors who decides who makes the cut or not. However, that doesn't prevent many people from worrying about whether or not they can claim a polyamorous identity. On this episode, we discuss identity, gatekeeping, and common questions that we get: “Am I still polyamorous if I still feel jealousy?” [...]
Online dating presents a wealth of opportunities to connect with like-minded people, but it also introduces the potential for endless frustration. If you're feeling discouraged from rejection, confused about how to write a good profile, or just plain burnt out from the whole process, check out our tips for maintaining your mental health and emotional [...]
We get a lot of questions related to infidelity: can you even “cheat” when you're consensually non-monogamous? If my partner cheats on me, should we transition into an open relationship in order to stay together? Is it possible to heal a relationship after infidelity? Tune in for the answers to these questions, as well as [...]
Long distance relationships are pretty common in non-monogamous communities, and they are becoming even easier to maintain with modern technology. This week, we share the latest statistics on on the success of long distance relationships as well as fundamental practices to keep your LDR running smooth. If you want to support our show, the best [...]
Forget participation trophies! This week we're talking about self-esteem. We all have our highs and lows, but did you know that having greater self-esteem is associated with better health and a better social life? We'll talk about the easiest ways to get a lasting self-esteem boost, whether it's possible to have self-esteem that's too high, [...]
Are your relationships a dumping ground for toxic waste? This week we talk about the hallmarks of toxicity in relationships. Whether you've got a toxic metamour, romantic partner, co-worker, or friend, tune in to learn how to recognize the signs and break free. If you want to support our show, the best way is to [...]
Do you feel like you can do anything? Are your palms sweaty and your stomach butterfly…ish? You may be feeling New Relationship Energy (NRE). This week we talk about the chemical overload your brain gives you when you're first falling in love, as well as strategies to stay grounded and care for other relationships even [...]
When you start talking to people about non-traditional relationships, the reaction isn't always pretty. This week dicuss what motivates negative reactions to non-monogamy, as well as practical tips for handling the haters and rocking tough conversations with grace and ease. If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one of [...]
Some people think polyamory can only function with a primary-secondary hierarchy. Others think it's a recipe for disaster. On this episode, we want to dive into the nuances of hierarchy — how it has affected our lives personally, when it's been beneficial, and when it's been painful. If you want to support our show, the [...]
No one wants a relationship full of drama…or do they? Turns out there are specific roles that many of us actually enjoy to play in any given “drama” situation. This week we talk about how to break the cycle and transform drama into empowerment. If you want to support our show, the best way is [...]
Have you ever tensed up when a partner tried to hug you after a fight? What about feeling weird when a partner comes home from a date with someone else? This week we're talking about the best ways to reconnect with a partner after a physical or emotional separation, even when it doesn't feel easy. [...]
On this episode we speak with Dr. Alex Bove about the findings of his recently published research on metamours and masculinity, titled: “Meta, More or Less? A Phenomenological Study of Polyamorous Men’s Relationships with Their Male Metamours.” Tune in to find out more about the three phases of the metamour relationship, as well as the [...]
This week we're coming at ya live from our first ever patreon retreat in Lake Tahoe, CA! We answer questions from our Patreon supporters, discussing how to avoid scarcity mindset, preventing burnout, fostering inclusivity, Emily's goddess voice, and more! If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one of our [...]
What does it mean to have a relationship that feels “equal”? Is it a fair division of labor? Mutual trust and respect? Treating every partner exactly the same? This week we dive in to equal and inequal relationships, as well as how the concept of equity can help to bring balance to your love life. [...]
If you've listened to this podcast for a while, you're aware that the Multiamory crew are a bunch of gaming nerds. This week, we dive into the principles and psychology behind gamification, as well as how you can gamify your way to self-improvement and better relationships. If you want to support our show, the best [...]
We're extra excited to speak to Professor Kim Tallbear. Dr. Tallbear is the author of The Critical Polyamorist blog, as well as several books, articles, and talks on settler sexuality, Indigenous peoples, technology, and relationships. We dig into the details of what settler sexuality is, how it influences our relationships, and the many different ways [...]
It's a questions we've gotten since starting the podcast — can mono/poly relationships work? We're joined by Phoebe Phillips, author of the Polyammering blog and creator of the “Monocorn Sanctuary” group on Facebook. Phi shares her own experience as the mono side of a long-term polyamorous relationship as well as her guidance for people considering [...]
Anxiety can rear its head in the form of some weird gut feelings or nervousness, or it can be a full blown panic attack. This week we talk about the full spectrum of how anxiety and anxiety disorders show up in our relationships, how to cope with them, and how to comfort a partner who [...]
Let's look at the fundamentals of boundaries. Boundaries are one of the most powerful and important tools for having healthy relationships, but it’s one that is often misunderstood and misused. If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one of our patrons at www.patreon.com/multiamory. In addition to helping us continue to [...]
This is your brain. And this is your brain on love. We’re talking about your brain on relationships — how the different parts of your brain affect how we relate to our partners, and how we can use that to build better relationships. This week's episode was inspired in part by Wired for Love by [...]
“Peace be with you! This week we're sitting down with Rev. Austin Adkinson and theologian J.D. Mechelke to dive into the tricky topic of polyamory and Christianity. How is the Christian church handling shifting values around sexuality and non-traditional relationships? What about the church's bad track record with sex positivity? And what the heck is [...]
The Internet: making you get in fights with strangers since the 90s! This week we dive into online arguments: how they happen, how to avoid them, and how to most effectively communicate when you find yourself in the thick of it. If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one [...]
Author and gender therapist Dara Hoffman-Fox joins us once again to talk about gender, identity, and the full spectrum that lies outside the traditional binary. We discuss terminology, misconceptions, and the important journey of discovering one's self identity. If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one of our patrons [...]
Can you stay close with an ex after a breakup? Multiamory proves that it is possible! In this episode, Jase and Emily explore the subtle nuances of transitioning your relationship from romantic to platonic, the necessary time it takes to transition, and how sometimes it isn't always worth it to try to stay in each [...]
In this live show episode from our 2018 tour, we're surveying how pop culture has treated polyamory and other non-monogamous relationships in the past year. We look at clips from She's Gotta Have It, Professor Marston & the Wonder Women, Steven Universe, and many more. For the full experience, be sure to check out this [...]
We're pleased to have Dr. Eli Sheff back on the show to talk about her 15+ years of research into polyamorous families with children. Sheff shares the shifting trends she has seen over the course of her study as well as some practical tips for polyamorous people looking to cohabit or raise children with multiple [...]
Multiamory made some new friends at RelateCon! We sit down with Cosmo Meens and Melissa Mango to discuss their work in consent, pleasure-based touching, and how objectifying your partner can actually be really, really sexy. You can find more of their work at sexlovesoul.com and at happytouch.ca If you want to support our show, the [...]
This week we’re talking about how to be open, honest, and unafraid when talking to other people about your relationships, whether they are someone you are dating, a new acquaintance, or an old friend. — a little something that we call being unapolygetic. Check out Dara Hoffman-Fox's worksheet for coming out here: http://darahoffmanfox.com/comingoutworksheet/ If you [...]
We’re opening our Communication Hacks: Booster Pack! The Multiamory crew walks each other through a communication tip that we recently discovered and thought was super awesome. Learn how switch-tracking, bids, and micro scripts can take your relationship communication to the next level. If you want to support our show, the best way is to become [...]
On this episode of the Multiamory podcast we’re at the first annual Southwest Love Fest in Tucson, Arizona speaking with lawyer Jonathan Lane, who specializes in family and immigration law for the polyamorous, kinky, and LGBTQ communities If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one of our patrons at www.patreon.com/multiamory. [...]
What's the Bible have to say about polyamory? Spoiler alert: it mostly has things to say about questionable polygamy. Join us for an impromptu study on multi-partner relationships and Judeo-Christian values. If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one of our patrons at www.patreon.com/multiamory. In addition to helping us continue [...]
“Pinky out! We’re going to polyamory finishing school! Connecting with a polyamorous community is an important first step on someone’s journey so we’re covering the things that will give you a huge advantage at your first meetup. Come learn how to ensure you’ll have the best possible time and set yourself up for success. ” [...]
We get to pick the brain of Amy Gahran a.k.a. Aggie Sez about her book, Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator. We explore the social norms for how most people assume intimate relationships are supposed to work, as well as the many ways that people are stepping off the relationship escalator to live and love on [...]
Can you think of any relationships that inspire you? Perplexed by this question, the Multiamory crew investigates what truly makes for healthy, stable, and inspiring relationships, inspired by the research and writings of Esther Perel. Be sure to check out part 1 first! If you want to support our show, the best way is to [...]
Can you think of any relationships that inspire you? Perplexed by this question, the Multiamory crew investigates what truly makes for healthy, stable, and inspiring relationships, inspired by the research and writings of Esther Perel, Simone de Beauvoir, and Mark Manson. If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one [...]
This week we're talking with Kevin Patterson, creator of the Poly Role Models blog and author of the upcoming book Love Is Not Colorblind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities. If you're interested in creating a polyamory discussion group, meet-up, or other inclusive event, this is required reading! You can find more [...]
Get ready to question reality! This week we cover the fundamentals of biased thinking, some common ways that it can show up in your relationships, and how you can get around them in order to have happier and healthier connections to your partners and to yourself. If you want to support our show, the best [...]
The Triforce of Communication is back! This is yet another one of our favorite communication tools, and this week we're revisiting it with much more knowledge and experience using it in our daily lives. Learn how to get what you want in conversations with your partner, and how to avoid common miscommunication pitfalls with this [...]
The Multiamory crew loves talking about gender, so we' were both excited and intimidated by tackling such a broad topic this week. Gender identity and expression has come into mainstream conversation, and in this episode we're tackling the basics of everything you need to know: language, avoiding bias and stereotypes, and how gender effects your [...]
This week we had the pleasure of talking to “Disability After Dark” podcast host Andrew Gurza! Andrew gave us an amazingly funny and candid interview on the 101 of sex and disability and dove into some deeper topics regarding language, intersectionality and his Huffington Post Article, “4 things you should never say to a Queer [...]
Break-ups may sting, but it’s the healing process afterwards that can truly hurt for a long time. It’s especially difficult if you find yourself still thinking about your ex-partner and plagued with questions: Should I try to win her back? Where did we go wrong? Why can’t I just forget about it? This week, we [...]
Trust in a relationship — easy to lose, difficult to regain. If there's been a major breach of trust in your relationship, is there any hope that it could be rebuilt? This week, we discuss the many different ways that trust can look, and what to expect if you and your partner are trying to [...]
How many people would you need to have unprotected sex with in order to catch an STI? 4? 50? 1000? This week we get real about the language we use around sexual health as well as your real-world chances of catching an STI (hint: you probably already have one.) If you want to support our [...]
We are so pleased to be speaking with Kitty Stryker — feminist writer, queer activist, and author of Ask: Building Consent Culture. In this episode we talk about how consent affects our lives outside the bedroom as well as the difficult task of holding space for people who have been called out on boundary violations. [...]
In this episode, we're getting back to our roots! The Multiamory crew was interviewed about the basics of polyamory and our personal experiences for a radio project. If you're a polyamory beginner, or if you need some inspiration for answering all the questions your family and friends are throwing at you, check out this episode. [...]
Conflict and disagreements are unavoidable in relationships, but they don't have to cause pain, negativity, or destruction. In this episode we cover a collection of tools to use before, after, and during fights you have with your partner in order to find constructive resolution and reconnection. If you want to support our show, the best [...]
Relationship Anarchy: what is it? Who invented it? Does it mean overthrowing the relationship government? This week we're looking at the original relationship anarchy manifesto written by Andie Nordgren and discussing what it all means and how it can apply to your relationships. If you want to support our show, the best way is to [...]
This week we're talking about consciously choosing to stay single! Can staying single be just as emotionally valuable as being in a relationship? We have some surprising statistics as well as a look at how “single” can have a different meaning when you are a relationship anarchist or even if you're polyamorous. If you want [...]
This week we’re talking about your narcissistic ex. To be more specific, we’re talking about narcissism — the word that seems to come out of everyone’s mouth when describing their ex. Today we’re going to explore what narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) really is, why everyone's talking about it, and why your ex was probably a [...]
After a whole year of experimenting with applying agile scrum to relationships, the Multiamory crew is proud to present our new and improved relationship check-in model: RADAR! Learn about the benefits of establishing a regular monthly check-in for your relationships, plus follow our easy step-by-step process for creating a safe, supportive, and productive way to [...]
We all know what it feels like to experience FOMO — fear of missing out. Whether it's scrolling through Facebook and seeing how much more fun everyone else seems to be having, or it's sitting at home watching a partner head out on an exciting date with a new partner, FOMO can make us feel [...]
“We've all heard the saying, “”You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.”” But is that actually true? This week, the Multiamory crew explores positive psychology, gratitude, and fostering personal wellbeing in your relationships. Myers-Briggs vs VIA: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-matters-most/201405/myers-briggs-or-survey-character-strengths www.AuthenticHappiness.org ” If you want to support our show, the best way is to [...]
The Multiamory crew is in Tokyo! In this very special live episode recorded at Good Heavens British Pub in Setagaya, we discuss how increasing your cultural intelligence can boost your understanding and communication, particularly when dating someone from a very different culture. マルチアモリーの仲間が、東京にやってきました！ポリアモリー、セクシュアリティ、キンク、リレーションシップについての示唆に富んだ議論を楽しみ、参加者と交流し、ポッドキャストのライブ収録の機会にご参加ください。マルチアモリーのミッションは、倫理的な非一夫一婦制の実践についての知識と教育を、楽しく親しみやすい内容を通して提供することです。Multiamory.com は、Emily Matlack、Jase Lindgren、そして「The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory」の著者であるDedeker Winstonによる、情報リソース、ブログ、ポッドキャストです。意識的な一夫一婦制から、倫理的ポリアモニー、そして急進的なリレーションシップアナーキーまで、愛の多様な形式について、新しいアイデアやアドバイスを提供します。私たちの長年にわたる個人的な経験と、現在利用可能な最高の情報を組み合わせ、それを楽しく示唆に富んだ、そしてあなたのリレーションシップに簡単に適用できる方法で提案します。 With Interpreter: Without [...]
The Multiamory crew is excited to welcome Jessica Graham, meditation teacher, mindfulness coach, and author of the new book Good Sex: Getting Off Without Checking Out. Jessica answers all of our questions about mindful sex, ethical porn, naturally boosting your sex drive, and much more. If you want to support our show, the best way [...]
This week we are talking about expectations — a force for both good and evil! The expectations we bring to a relationship can have a significant effect on how happy or unhappy we are as the relationship unfolds. In this episode we'll uncover both unhealthy and healthy expectations to have for a relationship or a [...]
This week we are talking about sexual incompatibility and infidelity. Opening up about sex is often a challenging and vulnerable part of any relationship, and it can cause some relationships to implode. Today we are going to offer some stits and stats regarding sexual incompatibility, sexual changes over time, and how non-monogamy can shape and help [...]
This week we're speaking with Kitty Chambliss, coach, speaker, and author of the soon to be released Jealousy Survival Guide. Kitty shares with us the lessons she's learned as a polyamorous person who still struggles with jealousy and offers her insight and techniques for managing jealousy as it occurs in the moment with grace, ease, [...]
Multiamory loves The Beatles, but we take issue with the assertion that love is all you need. In this episode, we discuss the dangers of what is traditionally “magical” thinking surrounding love and relationships. If you're in a relationship that is dysfunctional, codependent, or making you miserable all in the name of love, here's where [...]
What is conscious monogamy? The term gets thrown around on many polyamory and non-monogamy blogs, but there isn't really a set definition for it. This week, we examine the nature of being conscious in one's relationships, whether you're monogamous or not. In contrast, we also highlight a few of the unhealthy forms of traditional monogamy, [...]
We're very pleased to speak with Ruby Bouie Johnson, sex therapist and founder of PolyDallas Millennium, an annual symposium of presentations and workshops on polyamory with a focus on centering people of color, queer, and gender fluid voices. Ruby shares with us her thoughts on the need for an intersectional focus in poly communities, handling [...]
Long-term relationships can be fertile ground for wonderful things like deep bonding and silly in-jokes. But they can also come with their fair share of old hurts, repetetive arguments, and growing resentment. If you find your partner holding the past against you, feeling hurt and upset even after you've apologized for something in the past, [...]
Our favorite God-doctor Gary Chapman, creator of the 5 Love Languages, has come up with another useful tool for communication: the 5 Apology Languages. Have you ever apologized to your partner for a mistake in the past, only to find that your partner brings it up again a week later, expressing frustration that you never [...]
The Multiamory crew is thrilled to speak with lawyer Diana Adams, who runs a law firm based in New York and Frankfurt that primarily provides family law and mediation services to the LGBTQ community, polyamorous families, same-sex couples, platonic co-parents, and non-nuclear families. In this episode, we got so much helpful information from Diana, including [...]
A long list of “glass ceiling questions” has been floating around the polyamorous internet lately. These are questions that are essential to ask a new partner in order to get down to brass tacks on what kind of agreements or rules they have in their other relationships, what they are expecting for their relationship with [...]
The Ethical Slut, long considered to be the “Bible” of polyamory and alternative relationships, is celebrating its 20th anniversary with a new, updated edition! The book had an incredible impact on each of our lives, and we are so excited to be speaking to co-author and educator Janet Hardy. Janet shares with us what's new [...]
The dumpster fire relationship: you know it when you see it. Constant fights, endless drama, and an unmatched level of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion. In this episode, we'll discuss signs that your relationship might be a total dumpster fire, how to evaluate whether or not it's time to leave, plus practical advice on escaping [...]
This week we're digging in to emotional labor — the mental and emotional energy required to maintain a relationship. All interpersonal relationships require some sort of emotional labor, so it's not a bad thing. However, problems arise when one person is giving more emotional labor than they are receiving from the other side. This disproportionately [...]
This week we are talking about…you! That's right, this week the Multiamory crew tackles the questions that our listeners left on the Multiamory voicemail line. If you want to have a question answered on the air, you too can leave a voicemail for us at 678-MULTI-05. Covered in this episode: — My girlfriend doesn't want [...]
Break ups suck. They suck a little less if you're not the one going through it, but if it's your partner who's just been dumped, then you may find yourself shouldering the burden of some of their suck as well. In this episode we talk about the ways to care for your partner, your self, [...]
This week we're discussing agreement pitfalls — common relationship agreements that seem reasonable, but which may cause trouble in the long run. The Multiamory crew has a pretty firm stance against strict rules in relationships, but there are many agreements that fall into a debatable grey area. Is it fair to make sure you and [...]
This week, the Multiamory crew falls in love with each other! (Just kidding. We were already in love with each other.) But really, we delve into the topic of building intimacy, using the famous list of 36 intimacy questions. We encourage you to use these questions to not only get closer to your romantic partners, [...]
This week the Multiamory crew gets to pick the brain of researcher, educator, and Ph.D candidate Ryan Witherpsoon. Ryan has specialized in studying consensual non-monogamy, kink, and BDSM, as well as spearheading several research studies on non-traditional relationships. In this episode, we cover the current state of non-monogamy research, particular challenges that arise when studying [...]
This week we are welcoming special guest Erin Tillman, a.k.a. The Dating Advice Girl. Erin has coached many singles through the process of creating a dating profile and going on dates without getting burnt out in the process. Even better, Erin is tuned in to the polyamorous and queer communities. She shares with us her [...]
Love and science finally hook up. The results? Sexy. This week we're covering all the things that will make your relationships better, backed by scientific studies. We cover communication, fighting, sex, in-jokes, and more! You can follow along with us here: https://my.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-a-happy-relationship/ If you want to support our show, the best way is to become [...]
This week we are talking about…you! That's right, this week the Multiamory crew tackles the questions that our listeners left on the Multiamory voicemail line. If you want to have a question answered on the air, you too can leave a voicemail for us at 678-MULTI-05. Covered in this episode: — How can a straight, [...]
This week, we're talking about the effects of social media on your relationships, and some of the unique challenges presented to non-monogamous relationships. Whether you're creeping on your metamours, or finding yourself nervous about posting openly about your multiple partners, we're here to help you navigate the tricky etiquette and foibles of social media. If you [...]
Whether you're opening up an existing relationship or beginning a relationship with someone who is new to polyamory, it can be challenging to know the best way to encourage them to feel safe venturing into the world of non-monogamy. In this episode we explore different challenges and discuss what we've found to be the most [...]
This week we are tackling the complicated task of deconstructing desire. In life, we often set our sights on accomplishing a particular goal or attaining a particular object or status, and the same is true with relationships and sex. In this episode, we dig into the reasons why we want the things that we want, [...]
In this very special live show, the Multiamory crew digs into the day-to-day foibles of having non-normative relationships in a hetero-mono-normative world. We discuss the uncomfortable consequences of having few outlets and even fewer role models, needing to stay in the closet in order to protect your job or family, and the endless assumptions and [...]
Multiamory is happy to have author, podcast host, and pegging enthusiast Cooper S. Beckett back on the show! Cooper came on our show way back in the early days to discuss his memoir, My Life on the Swingset, and this week we are discussing his brand new novel, Approaching the Swingularity. Join us for a [...]
This week, we are discussing privilege and polyamory — the different advantages and disadvantages that we often forget about when approaching non-traditional relationships. This is a hot-button topic that often sparks emotions and defensiveness, but we wanted to open up the conversation, daunting as it is. In this episode, we discuss many different factors that affect [...]
Multiamory is very excited to sit down with philosopher Carrie Jenkins, author of the newly released book What Love Is and What It Could Be. Carrie has been polyamorous for a number of years, and after having her relationships accused of not embodying “real love,” she was inspired to get to the bottom of the [...]
This week, the Multiamory crew tackles a divisive and controversial subject: the Red Pill movement. The Red Pill movement, in our estimation, is equal parts men's rights and pick-up artistry, sprinkled with a dose of good old-fashioned misogyny. But a growing number of men are finding community, understanding, and confidence in the Red Pill's tenets. [...]
If you've hit a particularly sticky bump in your relationship, or if you're interested in doing some preventative maintenance and exploration, it is extremely helpful to seek professional guidance. Speaking with a therapist, counselor, or coach can provide many opportunities to open up and uncover deep-seated habits and patterns, plus really giving yourself and your [...]
We talk a lot about jealousy in the polyamory scene — how to manage it, how to de-program it, how to communicate with your partners about it. But in this episode, we are going to be deconstructing jealousy — categorizing specific triggers and their causes. If you have the tools to identify your jealousy triggers, [...]
Unicorn hunters (heterosexual couples seeking to add a bisexual woman to their relationship) get a bad rap in the polyamorous community. But is it possible to defy this stereotype and add a third to your relationship in a way that's ethical, kind, and groovy for all parties involved? In this special live show recorded in Los [...]
Multiamory is in Portland! In this special, live-audience episode, we explore solo polyamory. The solo poly crowd is an often-misunderstood, yet significant portion of the non-monogamous community at large, and this week we uncover the many different ways solo polyamory can be practiced, examine couple privilege, and learn all about amatonormativity. You can order Dedeker's [...]
The Multiamory West Coast tour brought the crew to Seattle on February 14th. On this very traditional romantic holiday, we spent some time discussing how people in non-traditional relationships can use this as a time to reflect on the unique qualities each relationship and each partner brings to the table. We also discuss the slightly [...]
This week's episode was recorded during Multiamory's very first stop on their West Coast Tour 2017! Every seat in the house at Octopus Literary Salon in Oakland, California was full as we presented a talk on the 7 habits of highly effective polyamorous people. Drawing inspiration from our mentors and role models, we break down [...]
Our own Dedeker Winston's book, The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory comes out internationally today and we are so excited to be able to interview her about the book and share our own experiences with reading it. Dedeker talks to us about the importance of creating a book that empowers women to have agency in [...]
This is a very special live presentation by the Multiamory crew that took place in Santa Monica on January 20th, 2017. In this episode we are discussing the various ways polyamory and non-monogamous relationships are portrayed in fictional movies, TV, and webseries. From hilarious to touching to bizarre, we explore what stories are currently being [...]
This week we are very pleased to speak with Eri Kardos, international speaker, coach, and author of the newly released book Relationship Agreements. Eri takes us through the basic philosophy of using agreements to strengthen your relationships, whether you are polyamorous or monogamous. We also learn how a small, blue, furry monster named Fred can help change [...]
If you've ever been in a relationship with a human being, chances are you've encountered some emotions within yourself and the other person. Until the day we are dating Vulcans or robots, our relationships will continue to be sticky, emotional, and not always rational. But all is not lost — a healthy dose of emotional [...]
This week on Multiamory, Jase and Emily get all Gender Non-Specific with our special guest, professional cuddliest and dominatrix, Tate Ashley! Tate helps us explore queer theory, gender “extremes” vs. gender “middle ground,” and language and its inefficiency when referring to gender non-conformity. The three of us also reveal the childhood experiences that helped shape [...]
It's Multiamory's 100th episode! It's a new season! It's a new year! And that means….New Year's Resolutions. Download the worksheet here to use in your own relationships! In this episode we are discussing how to make resolutions for your relationships in 2017. However, this isn't your typical discussion on goal-setting. We are going to be taking you [...]
2016 was a challenging year, but the Multiamory crew is tired of all the doom and gloom. In this episode, we review the good parts of 2016. A lot of great things happened for the Multiamory podcast, for the polyamory community, and for all three of us! Join us in generating some positivity to combat [...]
The holidays are upon us, and so is the holiday stress! This week we are talking about all the aspects of the holidays that makes us fall into a temporary stress-induced insanity. We also give insights on managing the holidays with multiple partners and how to tackle coming out to your family members. But most [...]
This week we are discussing a unique communication system to try out in your relationships: agile scrum. The agile scrum system was originally developed to be applied to software development, but writer Alanna Krause adapted the system to become a new system for communication in her relationship. The Multiamory crew tested out holding monthly scrum meetings with [...]
This week we are excited to speak with Jackie Stone, director of the poly-themed web series, Compersion. Jackie shares with us her inspiration to tell the story of a monogamous couple opening up their marriage, and her commitment to bringing gritty realism to her storytelling. We also open up the discussion surrounding race, diversity, and representation [...]
This week the Multiamory crew is very excited to intereview sex educator and podcast host for The Nerdist, Sex Nerd Sandra! Sandra takes us through the complex world of consent within relationships and sexual encounters. We discuss the education about consent, the ways that men and women both respect and violate consent differently, and also about how [...]
At Multiamory, we generally discourage people from building their relationships on a basis of strict, primary-secondary hierarchy. However, primary-secondary relationships are still very common in the polyamorous community. All three of us have engaged in these kind of relationships at one point or another, for better or worse. In this episode, we talk about the [...]
Coming out to partners, family, friends, or co-workers about being polyamorous is an important decision that could potentially change your life and your relationships, for better or worse. In this episode, we run you through the most important risks and benefits to consider before deciding to come out to someone important. If you want to [...]
What does it mean to “be a man”? What are the classic hallmarks of masculinity, and how are those expectations both hurting and helping us? What's more, we discuss how traditional notions of masculinity sometimes clash with the ideals of polyamory. If you want to support our show, the best way is to become [...]
Have you ever felt alone on your poly journey? Do your friends or family immediately jump to blaming polyamory for any relationship problems you may have? We've definitely all encountered this and have wished for a better support network. On this episode we talk with two people who created their own Poly Processing Group that [...]
This week, the Multiamory crew is pissed off. The current political climate has inspired us to vent about a number of topical things that get under our skin: toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, the alt right, and more. In particular, we examine how the polyamorous community is not immune to these things, as well as addressing [...]
For a long time there haven't been many public role models to demonstrate healthy, high-functioning polyamory, in contrast to the many demonstrations of monogamy we see every day on TV, movies, and other corners of the media. It's easy to make mistakes when first venturing down the path of non-monogamy. This week, we take you [...]
Sustainability means making decisions that address the needs of the present without compromising the needs of the future. The term is most often applied to environmental policy, but how does the concept of sustainability apply to relationships? Are poly relationships more sustainable than monogamous ones? If you want to support our show, the best way is to [...]
Having a positive relationship with your metamours can dramatically improve the quality of your relationship landscape. In this episode we cover the who, what, where, when, why, and how of meeting your metamours and setting yourself up for the best possible outcomes. If you want to support our show, the best way is to become [...]
If you are new to poly or just opening up your relationship, you may come to a realization that is exciting for some and terrifying for others: time to go on first dates! Going on first dates when you're poly presents a whole host of unique benefits and challenges. In this episode, we lay out [...]
It's dangerous to go alone…take this! It's the Triforce of Communication! What is that, you ask? The Triforce of Communication, other than being a nerdy title, are the three primary goals of communication in any given conversation or interaction with a partner. Communication breakdowns often occur when you and your partner have mismatched goals. If [...]
Descriptio This week we are discussing the theory of attachment in adults. That may sound daunting, but it's actually quite simple. Your individual attachment style is how you react when a particular relationship experiences separation, threat, or pressure. Some people react by becoming clingy and impulsive, and others react by pushing the other person away. [...]
The Multiamory podcast just turned two years old! Welcome to the terrible twos, baby! On this episode, we give a recap of all the things we've accomplished in the past two years, much of it with the inspiration of our wonderful listeners and fans. We also talk about the personal turning points we've each had in [...]
Your love language is the way in which you express love and prefer to receive love from your partners. Each person has a unique combination of love languages, some stronger than others. You may not realize it, but you and your partner may be speaking different love languages, which can lead to confusion and frustration. If [...]
Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Welcome and namaste! This week we are talking about the spiritual side of alternative relationships. Polyamory has long been associated with the free love movement, which in turn has long been associated with the New Age spirituality of hippies. Though modern-day religions tend to condemn polyamorous relationships, there are a number of people in [...]
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes! Change is an unavoidable part of life but that doesn't keep it from being scary sometimes. We have a lot of personal experience with big life changes like moving to new states or countries, deaths of family or friends, transitioning from monogamy to polyamory, and much more. In this episode we discuss some the [...]
It isn't easy or fun to talk about abuse. Abusive relationships come in many different iterations, and non-monogamous relationships are not exempt from these kinds of unhealthy dynamics. It's difficult for poly folk to speak publicly about abuse, as social stigma discourages many people from sharing any negative or darker aspects of poly relationships. In [...]
Whew, that's a lotta P's! After many discussions inspired by our solo polyamory episode a few weeks ago, we decided to revisit the topics of hierarchy and priority. Some people insist that a primary/secondary hierarchy is the only that works for long-term polyamory. After all, if you want a house, kids, and any other number [...]
This week we are trying to pin down the slippery notion of sex positivity. Does it just mean the absence of sex negativity? Does it mean you have to be enthusiastic about all kinds of sex? What if you don't even have sex? We bandy about what “sex neutrality” might mean, as well as illuminate [...]
What is solo polyamory? Ask anyone in the poly community, and you're bound to get a wide range of answers. Some people see solo polyamorists as “free agents” who keep all relationships at arm's length. Others identify as solo polyamorists because they don't want to be considered part of a couple, or because they don't [...]
If you've read much about polyamory you've definitely come across the term “compersion.” The word was created in the early 90's to fill a gap in the english language and it means the feeling of joy and happiness you have at experiencing another person's joy and happiness. This is an important feeling to cultivate in [...]
We've finally launched our Patreon page! To celebrate, the Multiamory crew is getting naked, figuratively and literally! This week, we bare all for our listeners, sharing our intimately personal stories of good times and bad, sexual exploration, gender identity, losing our virginities, and our favorite cusswords. If you want to watch the video from this [...]
No one likes to talk about break-ups. Unless they’ve just broken up with someone, then it’s all they can talk about. Break-ups challenge our beliefs about the enduring quality of true love, but they are an unfortunate reality when having multiple relationships. Unfortunately, having multiple partners does not make break-ups any less difficult. In this [...]
The Multiamory crew have often discussed strategies for finding dating partners through online dating. But what about finding partners in real-life? Can you find poly-friendly partners out at a bar? How do you flirt while also conveying important information about your lifestyle? We give you a collection of our favorite tips for flirting while out [...]
At Multiamory, we encourage people to avoid making strict rules when opening up their relationship. However, what about agreements? What about setting boundaries? Are those the same thing as rules? Rules, agreements, and boundaries are all frameworks that can be used to protect yourself within a relationship, but there are subtle differences. On this episode [...]
Jealousy pops up everywhere in our lives — at work, at home, and in romantic relationships. It can range from slight twinges to full-blown outbursts. No one likes feeling jealous, but it can be hard to avoid when you're in an alternative relationship. The Multiamory crew has gotten intimately acquainted with jealousy many times, and [...]
This week, the Multiamory crew addresses question we get from our listeners all the time: how do I broach the subject of opening up my relationship? If you’re currently in a monogamous relationship, and you’re curious about opening it up, even the thought of suggesting it to your significant other may be unnerving. In this [...]
Are some people purely polyamorous and other people are completely monogamous? How can we reconcile these differences? What should I do about jealousy? What kind of polyamorous relationship is right for me? In our interview with counselor, hypnotherapist, and author Kathy Labriola we get to hear her insights into all of this and more! Some [...]
Our culture is steeped in notions of traditional romance. In so many love songs we hear, “You're the only one for me.” Our movies, TV shows, and dozens of other art forms idolize the couple, the soulmates, the star-crossed lovers. Our notions of “romance” are still heavily tied up to sexual exclusivity. If you have [...]