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Blue Balls NYCFC
You've got Blue Balls! How lucky for you. Check in every week for rapturous pod talk on all things NYCFC. Hosted by Harlemites Jake Beckhard (@jakebecknation) and Trey Fillmore (@treyfillmore).
Shake and bake, blue ballers. We’re back with the only extant nycfc podcast, breaking down the Pigeons’ sputtering start to their historic inaugural 5th season. Jake and Trey talk first outings for Treats & Keats, as well as the emergence of Ofori as a potential key 2019 factor and the arrival of a Jon Lewis who may even, can you believe it, get actual meaningful minutes on the field this season. But the tinkering is far from over and our two intrepid cohorsts do everything they can to get into the dome of Domé.
Then: nazis and she believes, Garber and Ellis, and some light shitposting. Plus a lump-in-the-throat preview of DC’s upcoming visit to Yankee Stadium. Lock the bathroom door behind you — you’ve got Blue Balls.
Welcome, blue-balls-to-the-wallers, to the SEASON FIVE PREMIERE that nobody saw coming. That's right, despite all odds and massive popular resistance, Blue Balls is back for another barely-professional flirtation with serious soccer journalism in the guise of dick jokes. Jake and Trey kick the season off, as they always do, with a hard-hitting round of OVER/UNDER. Follow along with your own over/under stats sheet this season and tweet us your results at the end to win absolutely nothing.
PLUS: in-depth analysis of the bearish predictions market for NYCFC's fifth season on the field, a breakdown of offseason action and acquisitions, and some senseless starting eleven chatter. Your blue ballers for life will be with you every step of the way this Season Five - starting NOW. Don't stand up too fast: you've got Blue Balls.
Awaken from your slumber Blue Balligans, and jump on in to this mini-ep season fore(pointfive)play with the analytic critic Dummy Run. Trey holds his iphone to the mic to get Dummy's thoughts on statistical analysis in footy, why Dome is better than you think, a look ahead to the boys in blue, and introduces his new NYCFC blog The Outfield.
We'll be back this week (yes this week!) with all things Blue Balls, but until then be sure to read up at theoutfield.org as well as following @thedummyrun and @outfieldnycfc on twitter.
Did ya miss us you big lovable buffoons? Now you've got Blue Balls.
Happy New Year Blue Ball Drop-ers, and thanks for coming back to our last episode of season four. We begin the year by looking back, checking in on our world famous pre-season segment over/under and a new game that reveals where the heroes of NYCFC's historic first season are now. Of course, we set our resolutions for the future, chat Nazi's for the umpteenth, and boring MLS twitter. As our season ends our thanks go out to the team for continuing to host our meager podcast on game days, the players who have served the team well, our pubs for the companionship, the podluminatti, and most of all YOU for sticking around with us for four years. See you all in a few weeks for the preseason and have a happy 2019 blue ballers and ballerinas!
Greetings and warm wishes in the cold winter of our despair, Blue Ballers. At the conclusion of our Senior Year Campaign, for yet another season, our playoff hopes have been ignominiously dashed. Hold off on season retrospectives - we’ve got plenty of that coming down the pipeline - for now we want to talk about Atlanta, Dome, Villa, Berhalter and something the stans refer to as “Preath.” It’s a messy little monster of a show for the messy little monster that was the 2018 Pigeons, now mercilessly returned to their nests. Plus: a little nazi talk, a little inside podluminati baseball, and the Talking Points Theme Song. Slip on your loosest long johns - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here, Blue Ballers, and welcome to another week's miserable episode. The both sudden and inexorable death march to the playoffs is all but concluded after a three week break with a humiliating loss to hot-hot-hot DC United. It would be convenient to blame this match on the entirely different rules of physics inside the Wayne Rooniverse but instead Trey and Jake take another crack at unpacking our pale-looking Blues and discuss whether DomeOut has arrived a little too soon.
Then: Is Villa in or out? Who saved the Columbus Crew? And of course, everyone's favorite elephant in the stands - Nazis. Will the front office's policy of Don't Ask Don't Tell provide the results they're expecting? We suggest: perhaps not! Call your rep and tell them NAZIS OUT OF YANKEE STADIUM - they're giving you Blue Balls.
Spooky season to you our Boooooo-ballers, and welcome back from our scary layoff. Jake and Trey sink their fangs in and take a spooky peek into the USA men and women, reviewing a bloody Concacaf Women's championship and the creepy cadaver that remains of the USA men. Then, we try not to get too grim-reaper when analyzing what has gone wrong for the boys in blue the past two months and carve into the snack-o-lantern that is Wayne Rooney's jump start DC United. That bloodcurdling scream in old man Stevens' rickety house? Just Blue Balls.
Grim tidings, Blue Ballers! Jake and Trey are back and apoplectic re: the state of NYCFC. With just two points out of a possible fifteen in the last five matches, are these the boys in blue we thought we knew? We break down blame among the players, in the front office, and of course under the new Gaffer. A man-by-man unpacking of DC's humiliating draw as well as constant reference to the muddy waters NYCFC has been treading for the last month. Blame it on the injuries, blame it on the schedule, but at the end of the day you gotta blame it on something fixable if you want to see a future forward. Part 1 of 2 - we're saving pre-cap and national talk till next week! Stay woke and don't choke - you've got Blue Balls.
Ahoy-hoy Blue Ballers and welcome back for another installment of the only NYCFC podcast, period! Jake and Trey are back to talk about the near-misses of the Canadian carnival of competitions our Boys in Blue just wrapped. What happened in Toronto? What happened to Vancouver? What is happening to our defense and why are we loaning out Saad Abdul-Salaam just at a moment when a little defensive depth wouldn't be unwelcome?? All these and more are talked about with just the hint of detail and insight.
Then: the first weekend of Premier League action, some transfer mumbles, and the usual judgment-free jawing until a frenzied Philadelphia precap and a wink at the third of three Hudson River Rivalries to come. Measure twice & cut once - you've got Blue Balls.
Top of the crop top, blue ballers, and welcome back to the blue barty bus. Jake and Trey return in the thick thick summer air to recap the Orlando and Seattle games, probe at the weak spots, grumble about the schedule. Then: much discussion over how the sweaty season is going so far - including but not limited to injuries, lineup experiments, a Dome report card and even a Senseless Starting XI in the face of muchas lineup turnover in anticipation of the Vancouver match. Plus: the world cup is a thing which happened, I guess. Book your flight back from Russia and get an emergency exit seat -- you've got Blue Balls.
You all know the drill: Mini-pod, dueling monologues, Domé, Jo, blah blah blah. We'll be back and fully fit next week :D
Namaste children of the world and welcome to another rousing edition of two idiots with microphones, or as you have come to know as, Blue Balls!
Jake and Trey are BACK to actually talking to EACH OTHER for the first time in a month and man did we have some catching up to do. We dive back into the Vieira tribute draw against ATL, the new skipper with a Pep in his step, all things Copa Mundial and a look ahead for this team's assault gestalt in cobalt. Like a red card in the third minute, you've got Blue Balls.
Bienvenue mes gars et mes poussins, we're back for part two this week, a mini-pod of sensible seesaw soliloquies from ya salacious bois. New format for this week, as Jake and Trey go back and forth, expounding on the unworthy in New Jersey, our midfield dilemma, the baby yanks, and what to expect from the dirty south visiting the burning Bronx. This shit will be regular soon, tons of love, and hold those nether regions tight, you've got blue balls.
Howdy Y'(b)all(ers), and welcome to another rousing edition of your favorite Pod Duo. Just kidding, only one pod bro on this part of episode 10. Trey sits down with return guest The Homie Steve to break down last weekend's action. We cover another Kreis humiliation, the return of Jlew, tactics and semantics, and unwisely tread into the P-chant issue. Come one, come all, you've got Blue Balls. (We'll be back later this week with Trey/Jake ya dinks.)
Ahoy all of you Pusha Ts and Teyana Taylors of the world, we are BACK and hope you are enjoying this GOOD Friday! Jake and Trey take the reigns again with an amuse-bouche of details and debaucheries. We cover the rainy romp of the Rapids, World Cup call-ups and international friendlies, strategies galore; everything. Oh, and is there a rumor everyone has been talking about? Hmm, who knows. Dive in, but avoid shrinkage, you've got Blue Balls.
Charmante a rendez-vous, blue ballons! Welcome back to the top of the league as NYCFC reclaim their rightful place as Top Team Not To Fuck With. Trey and Jake recap in the dead of the sudden summer the CRACKERJACK 3-1 victory that brought David Villa his 400th and 401st career goals - and the addition of a brand new word to his English arsenal (no pun intended) - milestone!
THEN: Trey and Jake scramble for talking points and cover a whole slew of bullshit before pivoting into the pre-derby deep dive into the Team from New Jersey - anticipating what will surely be a Dead Reds Revolution if the boys and blue can pull it off. Better find a softer seat on the PATH - you've got Blue Balls.
Cheers and condolences blue ballers. It is with great regret that we commemorate the end to NYCFC's best ever unbeaten streak and best-ever start to the season, ended abruptly, unexpectedly, and brutally by a fiercer-than-anticipated counterpunching Portland machine. Trey and Jake break bread at a diner while they break down the breakdown. Then: international competitions, international politics, and interminable merchandising chatter. And; Dallas. Rock em, sock em, wash em, repeat: you've got Blue Balls.
Andiame, blue ballers, and welcome to the ever-extending unbeaten streak which is the NYCFC 2018 season. Two big matches in the book mean two big recaps in the booth. First, the 4-0 blowout that defanged Petke's stumbling Real Salt Lake -- then, the matchup of the season so far produces a nail-biting 2-2 draw against Atlanta United in the Georgian Coliseum that is Mercedes-Benz Stadium.
Speaking of stadiums, no small chatter on the newest and arguably most real rumor mill yet of a stadium in the boroughs - this one in the south Bronx nested in a Harlem River Yards development project. It's... happening?? Find out what Trey and Jake think and drink on the subject and more. It's practically summer, and what better time to air 'em out -- you've got Blue Balls.
Ahoy hoy mes ballers bleus and welcome to another week of your favorite dysfunctional blue brodies. I, Trey, finally get to write a blurb and am brunch drunk so I would like to say, did you see that new Drake video? Olivia Wilde? Issa Rae? Misty Copeland? Rashida Jones? Tiffany Haddish looking like a snack? Emma RoBERTS? Oy Gevalt.
Anyways, we re-cap a thrilling San Jose Away Day, chat injuries and special Z's. (Zlatans, duh.) And finally, we pre-cap a fiesty Salt Lake and parse out our odds at keeping this undefeated streak alive.
Keep your friends close and enemies across the river, you've got blue balls.
Pop n lock, Blue Ballers, and welcome back for another week of ballboy madness. Trey and Jake break down the first draw of the season against New England, who somehow became the first opponent of 2018 that actually managed to watch some game tape and pursue the one obvious strategy we've never been able to handle for a full 90. Press or no press, we talk not just shrad-y goals but the shrad-est, life without the Ringmaster and the Rodfather, and the baffling managerial reluctance to use two subs in a wide open game against an inferior team. Just one man's opinion. Then: NWSL opening weekend, USMNT young gun appraisal, your weekly dose of john lewis-peculation, and a precap of a match against the potentially seismic Quakes. Shuffle those truffles - you've got Blue Balls.