Sex Chat for Christian Wives: Recent Episodes

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This week's quickie is from Chris Taylor about decorating yourself for sex.

Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

You can support this podcast by joining us on Patreon.

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On this podcast, we’re not focused on just having sex. We want wives to experience great sex. But how do we define that? Today, we’re diving into what makes for great sex in marriage and how to get there.

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From the Bible

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22–23

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3–4

I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 1 Timothy 2:1–2 (just a comparison of the same word in Greek translated quiet, also translated sometimes as tranquil)

Resources

• Episode 195: Explaining Women’s Sexual Response
• Understanding Your Sex Drive – Webinar Replay (only $5 for a limited time!)
• Be His Porn Star? Here's the Problem... | Intimacy in Marriage (Bonny thought it was J, but it's from the other Julie!)
• He Wants a Wild-Cat in Bed. That's Not Me. • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Love (and Sex in Marriage) Is Not Self-Seeking - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Understanding Her Sex Drive – Webinar Replay (only $5 for a limited time!)
• Episode 43: Dealing with Sexual Baggage
• Dealing with Sexual Baggage | The Forgiven Wife
• Episode 177: Addressing Sexual Pain, with Debby Wade
• Episode 186: Speak Up! (Quickie)
• Wives, Your Voice Matters (in the Bedroom & Beyond) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 5 Thoughts to Feel Great About Yourself and Improve Your Sexual Interest • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• One Step Forward | The Forgiven Wife
• Healthy Marriage, Healthy Sex Life (the One-Another Series) • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Healthy Marriages Start with Healthy People - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! We’d love for you to join our inner circle by supporting us on Patreon. You can contribute to our wonderful ministry while getting some fun perks for yourself! Check it out here: https://patreon.com/ForChristianWives

If you could, leave a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please also check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from Bonny Burns with the last of her kegels series about connecting with your body after trauma.

You can find the first two quickies of the series here:

Episode 215: Kegels and Sexual Pleasure (Quickie)

Episode 219: Kegels and Climax (Quickie)

Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

You can support this podcast by joining us on Patreon.

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Sex can feel weird for many wives. We talk about why and how to get past the awkward to better sexual intimacy.

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From the Bible

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Resources

• A Shaded View of Romance | The Forgiven Wife
• Are Romance Novels Okay for Christian Women? | The Forgiven Wife
• As Bad as Porn? | The Forgiven Wife
• Common Myths of Romance Novels - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why Isn't Sex Like What You See in Movies? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 154: Why We’re Against Porn and Erotica
• Understanding Your Sex Drive Webinar (only $5 for a limited time!)
• Where Purity Culture Got It Wrong, Let's Get It Right - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Forget What You Look Like While Making Love - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 5 Thoughts to Feel Great About Yourself and Improve Your Sexual Interest • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Episode 59: Myths We Learned from Pop Culture
• Rabbit breeding video (in which the buck falls over)
• Better Help - get matched with a therapist
• What we didn't know about male anatomy | Diane Kelly TED Talk
• Orgasm Webinar (only $10 for a limited time!)
• The Wonderful Way Babies Are Made by Larry Christenson (out of print now, but you can get a used copy)
• Episode 25: Sex Is Funny

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! We’d love for you to join our inner circle by supporting us on Patreon. You can contribute to our wonderful ministry while getting some fun perks for yourself! Check it out here: https://patreon.com/ForChristianWives

And if you could, leave a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please also check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from Bonny Burns about the sexual benefits of exercise.

Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

You can support this podcast by joining us on Patreon.

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We welcome Francie Winslow of Heaven in Your Home to talk about why and how to integrate body and soul for better sexual pleasure and intimacy.

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From the Bible

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

For it pleased the Father that in Him should all fullness dwell, and having made peace through the blood of His cross, by Him to reconcile all things unto Himself — by Him, I say, whether they be things on earth or things in heaven. Colossians 1:19–20

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. Psalm 139:14 (NKJV)

Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. John 13:3–5

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38–42

Resources

• Francie Winslow's website
• Heaven in Your Home Podcast – Francie Winslow
• The Romantic Vineyard | Debi & Tom Walter
• The Gospel in the Bedroom – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• What Is Lusting? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 193: Making the Most of Your Five Senses
• Essential Oils Roller Balls | Amazon
• Mindfulness & Meditation During Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Great Are You Lord- All Sons & Daughters Lyrics | "It's your breath in my lungs"
• Episode 182: Pray About Your Sex Life (Quickie)
• Betrayal & Sexual Addiction with Bonny Burns – Heaven In Your Home

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! We’d love for you to join our inner circle by supporting us on Patreon. You can contribute to our wonderful ministry while getting some fun perks for yourself! Check it out here: https://www.patreon.com/c/ForChristianWives

And if you could, leave a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please also check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from J Parker about how to find support and wisdom to help your sex life.

Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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We tackle some tough listener questions today, with a biblical perspective and authenticity. Learn what we have to say about a lack of desire postpartum, a husband who wants to engage sexually through Facetime, and maintaining intimacy when chronic illness makes it difficult.

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Also don't forget about J's new book, The Higher Desire Wife! It's on sale wherever books are sold, but you can get the best deal through Baker Books or order through Amazon to give us a small affiliate commission without any additional cost to you.

From the Bible

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:25 (ESV)

Resources

• Motherhood and Libido • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Q&A with J: Baby's Here, But Sex? Not So Much. - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• After Baby Comes Along | The Forgiven Wife
• How Having Kids Depleted My Sexual Desire - Knowing Her Sexually (written for husbands)
• Helping Your Wife Balance Motherhood and Sexual Intimacy - Knowing Her Sexually (written for husbands)
• Episode 177: Addressing Sexual Pain, with Debby Wade - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Sliquid Soul Coconut Oil Personal Lube - Married Dance
• Amazon Fresh, Organic Virgin Coconut Oil (for personal lubricant, use virgin/unrefined coconut oil)
• When My Sex Life Sucked - Part 1 - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• When My Sex Life Sucked - Part 2 - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Better Help (use code 4CW to get 10% off your first month)
• Why I Took My Breast Implants Out - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Sex Advice for Wives with Chronic Illness - Honeycomb & Spice
• Dealing with Erection Problems | The Forgiven Wife
• Bullet Vibrator Pilot Program - Married Dance
• Penis Sleeves and Strokers - Married Dance
• Maintaining Sexual Intimacy When Sex isn’t Possible by Chris Taylor – WORTHY Bible Studies
• Enjoy a Plus-Size Sex Life, Part 1 - Honeycomb & Spice
• Enjoy a Plus-Size Sex Life, Part 2 - Honeycomb & Spice

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from Chris Taylor about whether it's okay to use vibrators—and why it might be worth looking into.

Click here for the Married Dance vibrator pilot program.

Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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Jenn Schmidt from Intimate Covenant joins us to talk about overcoming sexual abuse and building a healthy, intimate sex life with your husband.

NOTE: J totally got the episode number wrong! Not the first time she's been wrong. ~wink~

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From the Bible

Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. Psalm 103:2-6

Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked. John 5:2-9a

For your Maker is your husband— the Lord Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. Isaiah 54:5

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Resources

• Intimate Covenant Podcast
• Intimate Covenant Retreat
• Trapped by Trauma | The Forgiven Wife
• Mending the Remnants of Brokenness | The Forgiven Wife
• For My Sister Sexual Assault Survivors | The Forgiven Wife
• Your Wife Has Been Sexually Harassed - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 64: Healing from Sexual Abuse, with Mary DeMuth - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• My Larry Nassar Testimony Went Viral. But There’s More to the Gospel Than Forgiveness. - Christianity Today
• Triggers: What They Are, How They Form, and What to Do
• Box Breathing for Stress - CHI Health
• About EMDR Therapy - EMDR International Association
• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
• Is Your Wife a Survivor? - Knowing Her Sexually

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from Bonny Burns about using kegel exercises to enhance your climax.

• Kegel exercises: A how-to guide for women, Mayo Clinic
• 1 Simple Thing to Turn on Sexual Arousal and Intensify Orgasm, OysterBed7

Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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It's the OG gang today talking about taking care of your sexual self—particularly the physical aspect of our female sexuality. Take a listen!

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From the Bible

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19–20

Resources

• Episode 109: Your Sexual Self
• Screening for Cervical Cancer | Cervical Cancer | CDC (with Pap smear recommendations)
• Sliquid Splash Gentle Feminine Wash - Married Dance
• Finding a Good Gynecologist - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 10: Tending Your Garden
• Sex After a Hysterectomy - Part 1: The Basics | The Forgiven Wife
• Sex After a Hysterectomy – Part 2: The Aftermath | The Forgiven Wife
• Sex After a Hysterectomy - Part 3: Your New Sex Life | The Forgiven Wife
• Barbie movie – Barbie meets an old woman
• Episode 122: Self-Care for Wives
• Feet and Sex • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Still Becoming One | Brad & Kate Aldrich
• What Makes You Feel Sexy? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Hint Water and Body Armor
• This Is Your Brain on Birth Control: How the Pill Changes Everything by Sarah Hill
• Episode 149: Your Body, Your Health, and Your Sex Life

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from Chris Taylor about how initiating sex.

Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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On her book's launch day, J. Parker hosts three fellow higher desire wives—Tara Buchanan, Julie Sibert, and Tammy Hopkins—for a special roundtable on when she wants sex more than he does.

NOTE: Please forgive the not-so-great audio at times in this episode. We did our best without the usual professional equipment.

Sponsor

Check out J. Parker's new book, The Higher Desire Wife, now available wherever books are sold!

From the Bible

I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. Song of Songs 7:10

Resources

• The Higher Desire Wife: Understanding and Help for Christian Women Navigating Mismatched Sex Drives by J. Parker
• The Higher Desire Wife - Baker Book House (best US price)
• Behind Our Smiles podcast, with Tara & Joe Buchanan
• Intimacy in Marriage – Julie Sibert
• Pursuit of Passion: Discovering True Intimacy in Your Marriage by Jeffrey Murphy & Julie Sibert
• Higher Desire Wife Community
• The Marriage Bed (mentioned by Tammy)

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from Bonny Burns about how kegel exercises help your sexual pleasure.

• Kegel exercises: A how-to guide for women, Mayo Clinic
• 1 Simple Thing to Turn on Sexual Arousal and Intensify Orgasm, OysterBed7

Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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Phylicia Masonheimer joins us to discuss what a theology of sex is, why we struggle with it, and how to develop a better theology.

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From the Bible

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22–23 (NLT)

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:3–5

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4–7

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 1 John 4:16 (ESV)

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:15–16

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’ “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’” And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? Luke 18:1–7

So Moses brought their case before the Lord, and the Lord said to him, “What Zelophehad’s daughters are saying is right. You must certainly give them property as an inheritance among their father’s relatives and give their father’s inheritance to them. Numbers 27:5–7

“If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged to anyone and has sex with her, he must pay the customary bride price and marry her. But if her father refuses to let him marry her, the man must still pay him an amount equal to the bride price of a virgin. Exodus 22:16-17 (NLT)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:25-33

Resources

• Every Woman a Theologian - Phylicia Masonheimer
• The Sex Talk You Never Had by Phylicia Masonheimer
• Episode 154: Why We’re Against Porn and Erotica
• Common Myths of Romance Novels - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Wired for Story: The Writer's Guide to Using Brain Science to Hook Readers from the Very First Sentence by Lisa Cron
• Why You Feel Worse Than He Does about the Premarital Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 5 Reasons Satan Targets Marriage • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Francie Winslow (mentioned by Phylicia, but 😊, we'd already booked her for a future episode!)
• Four Ways to Absorb God’s Truth about Intimacy in Marriage | The Forgiven Wife
• Episode 118: Sex Is for You Too
• The Higher Desire Wife - Baker Book House (pre-order and get bonuses!)

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from Chris Taylor about using baby wipes in the bedroom. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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Today, we tackle the sensitive subject of masturbation. What does the Bible say about it? Why do Christians differ on their opinions? And how can we discern what's right for us?

Sponsor

Thanks, once again, to Married Dance for sponsoring this episode. Check them out for quality products displayed in a nudity-free and marriage-focused environment. Great customer service too!

From the Bible

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. 1 Timothy 3:1–5 (not about masturbation, but a passage we discussed and worth reading in context for yourself)

“Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12

“Everything is permissible,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible,” but not everything builds up. 1 Corinthians 10:23

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4–8a

If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. James 4:17

Resources

• Solo Masturbation? | The Forgiven Wife
• Masturbation: Hands On or Hands Off? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Orgasms Make You Squeamish? It's OK To Explore Your Body • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Episode 76: Listener Questions (includes "Is it sinful to figure out how to reach orgasm on your own so that you can show your husband what works?")
• Episode 124: Touching Yourself, Sex Just for Fun & Erectile Problems (Answering Listener Questions) (including touching yourself during sex)
• Two Wives & Candid Conversation about Masturbation - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Two Wives. Talking About Masturbation. – Intimacy in Marriage
• More Candid Conversation about Masturbation - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• More Masturbation Talk. From a Couple of Wives. – Intimacy in Marriage
• Episode 151: Q&A - Sex Tips, Fantasy, Refusing Sex & Elusive Orgasm (fantasizing during sex)
• How to Fantasize About Your Spouse - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• The Higher Desire Wife: Understanding and Help for Christian Women Navigating Mismatched Sex Drives by J. Parker (releases March 18, preorder now!)
• Episode 185: Women’s Freedom from Porn, with Juli Slattery & Joy Skarka
• Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy by Juli Slattery & Joy Skarka
• Joy Skarka – Creating Spaces to Set Christian Women Free from Porn and Sexual Shame
• Porn Addiction Help for Women | XXXchurch.com
• Help for Women Who Have a Sex Addiction - SAA
• SheRecovery.com | Pornography & Sexual Addiction Support for Women
• The Female Addict & Unraveled – Pure Desire Ministries
• Workshop Healing For Women - Bethesda Workshops
• L.I.F.E. Guide for Women: A Workbook for Women Seeking Recovery from Sexual Addiction by Marnie Ferree
• No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction by Marnie Ferree
• Love Sick: One Woman's Journey through Sexual Addiction by Sue William Silverman

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from J Parker about celebrating Valentine's Day. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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We've been talking about sexual experience for many years now, and we figured it was time to discuss why sex even matters in marriage? What's the point?

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From the Bible

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Genesis 1:28

Adam made love to [yada] his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” Genesis 4:1

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Proverbs 5:18-19

[He] I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk. [Friends] Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love. Song of Songs 5:1

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:24

‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:7-9

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25

For your Maker is your husband— the Lord Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. Isaiah 54:5

As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you. Isaiah 62:5

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32

Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Revelation 19:7

Resources

• Episode 171: What’s So Great About Sex?
• What Are the Real Purposes of Sex? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Touchstone: Sex Is Fun, Part 1 | The Forgiven Wife
• Boom-Boom Playtime: Sex Is Fun, Part 2 | The Forgiven Wife
• Supernatural Sex: Spiritual Dimension of Libido for Low-Drive Wives | OysterBed7
• Episode 147: God, Sex, and Your Marriage, with Dr. Juli Slattery
• Episode 114: Pursuing Playfulness in Sexual Intimacy
• Sex Is Like Rose-Colored Glasses | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 50: Happily, with Kevin A. Thompson
• Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work by Kevin A. Thompson
• 8 Ways to Stay Intimate Even When Life Gets in the Way of Sex | The Forgiven Wife
• Episode 125: Is Sex a Need?
• "Sexual Morality," Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
• Hope for Wives Podcast (with Bonny Burns)
• Our Webinars (6 available, each $10 or less!)

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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As we embark on a new year, we talk about the goal of sexual growth, how to pursue it, and what you can expect along the way.

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From the Bible

In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your pure and respectful behavior. 1 Peter 3:1–2

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

Resources

• Intimacy in Marriage – Julie Sibert's website
• Knowing Her Sexually podcast
• Submission Doesn’t Mean Putting Up with Sexual Misbehavior
• Episode 163: What About Sex Toys?
• How to Turn Your Marriage Around | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How Growth Looks | The Forgiven Wife
• Strong Wives – coaching with Bonny
• What If Your Husband Responds Negatively to Your Sexual Changes? | The Forgiven Wife
• Sexual Disintegrity – My Journey Toward Sexual Wholeness #1 | The Forgiven Wife
• Sexual Stewardship – My Journey Toward Sexual Wholeness #2 | The Forgiven Wife
• Sexual Invocation – My Journey Toward Sexual Wholeness #3 | The Forgiven Wife
• Intimacy Mentoring with Chris Taylor
• How the Sexually Rejected Spouse Feels | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How to Sexually Disinterested Spouse Feels | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Behind Our Smiles Podcast
• Tara Buchanan's story is in J's upcoming book, The Higher Desire Wife (you can preorder now)
• Tip Me Over | The Generous Wife (Lori Byerly)
• Unexpected Benefits: 10 Years of Growth | The Forgiven Wife

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from J Parker about the many ways you can give your husband oral sex. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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Subscribe to Our Upcoming Newsletter HERE.

What is "celebration sex"? You might think of it as sex on a special occasion like a birthday, anniversary, Valentine's Day, or some other holiday. But we believe it can and should be a true celebration of marital intimacy, so today we tackle the what, why, and how of planning for celebration sex.

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From the Bible

I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love. Song of Songs 7:10–12

Resources

• Doc Johnson GoodHead Spray
• Song of Songs Coupons for Him - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Song of Songs Coupons for Her - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• With 1 Simple Thing to Turn on Sexual Arousal and Intensify Orgasm • Bonny's Oysterbed7 (kegels!)
• 5 Ways "Hotel Sex" Can Improve Your Marriage
• Episode 60: Vacation Sex
• Episode 182: Pray About Your Sex Life (Quickie)
• Episode 117: Prayer and Sex

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from J Parker about focusing on intimacy during the holidays. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

If you're looking for Christmas ideas for you and your sweetie, check out our 2025 Christmas gift episode!

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It's our annual holiday gift guide for wives! We've got great gift ideas to enhance intimacy in every room of your house: kitchen, living room, bathroom, and bedroom.

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From the Bible

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Resources

• To Romance, With Love: A Cookbook for Lovers and Those Who Want to Be
• Date Night Cookbook and Activities for Couples: Recipes and Games for a Romantic Night In
• The Date Night Cookbook
• Cooking Aprons for Couple
• Mr./Mrs. Aprons, Dish Towels, Oven Mitts, and Pot Holders Set
• Set of 3 Gold Candle Holders
• Chirstmas Green Taper Candles
• Dinnerware Dishes Set - Green, Service for 4
• Wine Glass Set of 2, Modern Stemless Golden Edge
• Sony Wireless Portable Bluetooth Speaker
• Throw Blanket
• Liberator Fascinator Waterproof Throw
• Twister (classic midcentury game!)
• Retro Jacks Game (perfect for two)
• To Catch a Thief Movie (smart midcentury romance)
• Crayola Take Note Dry Erase Markers or Chalkola Dry Erase Marker Chalk Pens (vintage colors)
• Post-it Heart Shape Notes OR Cute Animal Appreciation Sticky Notes
• Aqua Love Notes Shower Note Pad
• "Disco" Shower Head
• Gorilla Grip Extra Thick Kneeling Pad
• Face & Body Crayons
• Mr. Bubble Bubble Bath
• Share the Soap Assorted Half-dozen Goat Milk Bath Soaks or Bath Soak Powders
• Sex Furniture - Married Dance
• Liberator Sex Bean Bag
• Sex Loungers
• Liberator Wedge Pillow
• Song of Solomon 3:4 Wall Decal
• Sex Position Cards
• Lingerie from Honoring Intimates or Mentionables
• 60-Day Risk-Free Air Pulse Clitoral Stimulator Pilot Program - Married Dance
• 60-Day Risk-Free Bullet Vibrator Pilot Program - Married Dance
• 60-Day Risk-Free Vibrating Ring Pilot Program - Married Dance
• Brut Splash-On Original Fragrance for Men
• Prince Matchabelli Wind Song Fragrance for Women
• La Jolie Muse Sandalwood Rose Natural Soy Candle
• Vintage Peignoir Set (one size)
• Peignoir Set (plus-size)
• Feathered Slipper Heels
• Feathered Slippers Without Heels

Donate to Our Ministry!

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from Chris Taylor with four ways to be fully present during sex. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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When it comes to making time for sexual intimacy during the holiday rush, it can be wonderfully stressful or wonderfully playful or anything in between. We discuss how to navigate the busy-ness and stress of the holidays so that you can create a time of playfulness with your spouse and give you some ideas to build playfulness in your relationship and sex life.

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From the Bible

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6–7

Resources

• Season of Joy or Season of Stress? | The Forgiven Wife
• Pare Christmas Down to Four Priorities • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Weathering the Holiday Storm | The Forgiven Wife
• The Pop-Up Christmas Tree J. Parker Owns
• Video of Pop-Up Christmas Tree Set-Up
• Purchase Your Own Easy-Peasy, Pop-Up Tree
• Pine-Scented Candle (Amazon)
• 7 Tips for Having Sex at the Parents' House - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Make Your Home Sex-Friendly for Holiday Guests - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 10 Intimate Things to Enjoy for Christmas - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Elaine Dancing (Seinfeld)
• Mentionables Lingerie (use code 4CHRISTIANWIVES for 10% off!)
• Honoring Intimates Lingerie
• Bow-Dazzle! and 10 Other Ways to Keep Your Sex Life Alive During the Holidays | The Forgiven Wife
• String Lights (Amazon)
• Hallmark Christmas Bows (Amazon)

Donate to Our Ministry HERE

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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What do women want to know about sex when we're face to faced with them? While we have regular listener question episodes, we wanted to address FAQs we get when speaking to a group or working with individuals or small groups. So get ready for six common questions and our answers.

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Our episode is also sponsored in part by Married Dance, a marriage-focused Christian sex toy store.

From the Bible

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.1 Corinthians 6:9–11

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.Psalm 103:11–12

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 (not Acts 2:38 or John 3:16...though those are great too!)

But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:20–24

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.Psalm 30:11–12

Resources

• Episode 194: Creative Timing (Quickie) - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• 5 Times of Day to Make Love - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why She's Too Busy to Have Sex - Knowing Her Sexually (for husbands)
• Episode 122: Self-Care for Wives - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Episode 191: What Is Sexual Betrayal and How Can You Address It? - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Episode 18: How Will I Ever Trust My Partner, Again? - Hope For Wives
• Rebuilding Intimacy in Marriage (When Trust Has Been Damaged) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 185: Women's Freedom from Porn, with Juli Slattery & Joy Skarka - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• The Intimacy Pyramid
• Approach Your Sex Life Like It’s a Jigsaw Puzzle - Honeycomb & Spice
• Episode 141: How to Do Oral Sex - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Is It Okay to Say No? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• The Back Door (my take on anal sex) • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Is Anal Sex Okay? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why Don't Men Fess Up About Having the Lower Drive? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 133: How to Talk to Your Husband About Sex - Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Our Speaking, Coaching & Communities

• Learn more about J Speaking to Your Group
• J's Higher Desire Wife Community
• Contact Bonny about Speaking
• Learn more about Coaching with Bonny
• Chris's Intimacy Mentoring

Preorder THE HIGHER DESIRE WIFE (J. Parker's upcoming release) at 40% off or purchase from Amazon.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from Bonny Logsdon Burns about how to have a conversation about mismatched sex drives. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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This week's quickie is from Bonny Logsdon Burns about things to consider when you and your spouse have mismatched sex drives. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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Chris and J answer listener questions about sex after a vasectomy, competing with his phone for attention, plus-sized lovemaking, and how to use lube without losing the mood.

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From the Bible

Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance. Proverbs 1:5 (ESV)

Resources

• What's So Great about "Shooting Blanks"? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Get Off Your Screen & Have Sex with Your Wife - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• The Higher Desire Wife: Understanding and Help for Christian Women Navigating Mismatched Sex Drives (Available for preorder now!)
• Enjoy a Plus-Size Sex Life, Part 1 - Honeycomb & Spice
• Enjoy a Plus-Size Sex Life, Part 2 - Honeycomb & Spice
• Episode 111: Accepting Your Body
• Liberator Wedge Sex Pillow Positioning Aid – Married Dance
• Full Chart of Over 300 Different Sex Positions (christianfriendlysexpositions.com)
• Q&A with J: A Guide to Using Personal Lubricant - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Ask Us a Question
• KHS (Knowing Her Sexually) Ministry

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from J Parker about the importance of prioritizing sexual intimacy in your marriage. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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We welcome Christian sex therapist Karissa Curtis to discuss talking to kids—our own and others in our church—about sex.

Sponsor

Thanks to Married Dance for sponsoring this episode.

From the Bible

I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. John 17:14–18

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:5–9

Resources

• Karissa Curtis's website, Freedom Counseling
• Talking to Your Kids about Sex: No More One & Done - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Healing the Wounded Heart: The Heartache of Sexual Abuse and the Hope of Transformation by Dan B. Allender
• Authentic Intimacy - Juli Slattery's site
• Teach Your Kids the Correct Words for Body Parts - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How to Talk to a Teen about Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Top 10 Things To Teach Teens About Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 181: Your Sexual Story, with Dr. Carol Tanksley
• Creating an Intimacy Timeline - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Before The Sex Talk: A Theology of the Body Approach for Parents and Mentors by Linda Noble and Linda Stewart
• 5 Times You Teach Holy and Healthy Sex to Your Kids - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Parent Resources Recommended by Karissa Curtis (downloadable PDF)

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from Chris Taylor about adding fun to your marriage using items commonly found in autumn. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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We discuss how a wife's sexual response differs from her husband's, and how she can explain her female sexuality to him.

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From the Bible

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. Psalm 139:13–14 (NLT)

Resources

• Understanding Your Sex Drive - Webinar Replay - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Understanding Her Sex Drive - Webinar Replay - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• 2019 Webinar Series - Sex Chat for Christian Wives (includes two above + foreplay)
• 2019-2020 Webinar Bundle - Sex Chat for Christian Wives (all of our current webinars)
• Episode 133: How to Talk to Your Husband About Sex
• Man vs. Woman: The Differences - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• “The Female Sexual Response: A Different Model,” Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, Rosemary Basson
• Rosemary Basson's circular response cycle diagram
• Knowing Her Sexually (khsministry.com)
• Webinars - Knowing Her Sexually (khsministry.com)
• High-Drive Wives Are Not Crockpots - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from J Parker about using creative timing to maintain or increase your sexual frequency. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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Let's talk about the five senses—touch, sight, hearing, smell, and taste—and how to make the most of them to increase your sexual interest and enhance your lovemaking experience.

Sponsor

Thanks to Married Dance, a Christian sex toy & marital aid store.

From the Bible

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13–14

My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. Song of Songs 2:14

Resources

• Episode 179: Light Hearts & Lingerie
• Introduction to Sensate Focus
• Dona Massage Lotion - Married Dance
• Intimate Organics Energizing Massage Oil - Married Dance
• Fuzu Massage Candle - Married Dance
• Red Lightbulbs - Amazon
• Episode 74: Getting Comfortable with Your Body
• Episode 111: Accepting Your Body
• Experience Deeper Intimacy During Sex | The Forgiven Wife (eye contact)
• Sensual Music Archives • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Copulatory Vocalization (aka, Sex Sounds) | The Forgiven Wife
• Scented Aromatherapy Candles - Amazon
• Episode 184: The Power of a Shower (Quickie)
• Bergamot Linen Spray - Amazon
• Let Me Touch You Scented Massage Oil Gift Set - Married Dance
• Scented Lotion - Amazon
• Use Scent to Enhance Your Sex Life | The Forgiven Wife
• Essential Oils for Sex and Intimacy - 5 Things to Know (calmhealthysexy.com)
• Lip Smacker flavored lip gloss - Amazon
• Food and Sex | The Forgiven Wife
• Episode 34: Food and Sex
• JO H2O Flavored Lubricant - Married Dance

Donate to the Ministry by clicking HERE.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from Chris Taylor about what to remember when making sexual changes. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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What is sexual betrayal? Have you experienced it? Today, we address the sensitive topic of sexual betrayal with honesty and compassion, relying quite a bit on our in-house expert, Bonny Burns.

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From the Bible

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:28

“For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with violence,” says the Lord of armies. “So be careful about your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” Malachi 2:16 (NASB)

I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. Jeremiah 3:8a

John’s disciples came and took his body and buried it. Then they went and told Jesus. When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Matthew 14:12-13a

Resources

• Strong Wives - Bonny's ministry
• Hope for Wives podcast: Overcoming the Impact of Sexual Betrayal
• Betrayal Trauma (healthline.com)
• The Sarah Society
• Hope Redefined
• A Partner's Dilemma (apsats.org)
• Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
• Episode 189: Myth-busting What You’ve Heard about Sex, with Gaye Christmus! - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It's Impossible to Be Spiritually Mature, While Remaining Emotionally Immature by Peter Scazzero
• The Search For Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God's Eyes by Robert McGee

Bonny's Heading to Australia & New Zealand!

• 9/6–9/7 - https://www.crossview.com.au/
• 9/14, 9/19 - https://www.prbc.org.au/
• 9/17 - https://www.newheartbaptist.com/
• 9/20–9/21 - https://genesisgc.com.au/

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from Bonny Burns about the power of words to foster friendship and overflow into your bedroom. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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The gang's all together again! Gaye Christmus joins us to talk about myths about sex, where they come from, and what truths wives need to embrace instead.

Sponsor

Married Dance – a Christian sex toy store

From the Bible

I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My beloved is knocking: “Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.” I have taken off my robe— must I put it on again? I have washed my feet— must I soil them again? Song of Songs 5:2–3

My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him. I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the bolt. I opened for my beloved, but my beloved had left; he was gone. My heart sank at his departure. I looked for him but did not find him. I called him but he did not answer. Song of Songs 5:4–6 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:11-12

Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. 1 Kings 19:11-12 (NKJV)

Resources

• CalmHealthySexy - Gaye's site
• Healthy Life Toolbox - Gaye's other site!
• Where Purity Culture Got It Wrong, Let's Get It Right - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 118: Sex Is for You Too
• How to Read a Marriage Book - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 177: Addressing Sexual Pain, with Debby Wade
• Episode 185: Women’s Freedom from Porn, with Juli Slattery & Joy Skarka
• Episode 182: Pray About Your Sex Life (Quickie)
• Episode 133: How to Talk to Your Husband About Sex
• Embrace a Sexual Growth Mindset - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Our Webinars!

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from Chris Taylor and is specifically for wives who have been sexually reluctant and are ready to work on improving their sexual engagement with their husbands.

Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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In this episode, we tackle listener questions—specifically how to feel more confident in the bedroom by choosing something positive to wear, how to find a therapist in your area or online, and how to mentally shift from seeing oral sex as “dirty” to something married couples can (if they both want) do.

Sponsor

Better Help – connect with a fellow believer online within our network of licensed, professional therapists.

From the Bible

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. Song of Songs 2:3

Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. Song of Songs 4:16

Resources

• Honoring Intimates
• Mentionables
• “Getting Ready for Sex,” Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God’s Design (Signed) by J. Parker
• Episode 179: Light Hearts & Lingerie
• Better Help Online Therapy
• Psychology Today – Find a Therapist, Psychologist, Counselor
• Therapist Directory – IITAP (CSAT & more)
• Find a Specialist – APSATS Trained Specialists
• Sexual Wholeness Inc – Find a Christian Sex Therapist
• Strong Wives – Bonny Burns
• Aldrich Ministries Coaching
• “Oral Sex,” Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God’s Design (Signed) by J. Parker
• Take a Step Toward Oral Sex | The Forgiven Wife
• The Back Door (my take on anal sex) • Bonny’s Oysterbed7
• 5 Things You Should Know about Oral Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Oral Sex Webinar – Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Some resources may be affiliate links, meaning we receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie is from J Parker about the importance of speaking up about what you need to experience sexual pleasure. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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Juli Slattery & Joy Skarka join us today for a candid conversation about women and their struggle with porn. If you struggle, this episode will help. But if you don't, listen anyway so that you can be there to support fellow women trying to break free. And be sure to check out the new resource, Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out Of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy, cowritten by Dr. Juli Slattery and Dr. Joy Skarka

Sponsor

Thanks to Share the Soap, your go-to site for natural, quality bath and skin care products! And check out their special deal just for our listeners: free aloe gel with any order using coupon code FCWALOE. (Put gel in your cart, use the code, and the price for that will go to zero.)

From the Bible

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Then they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God. Ezekiel 11:19–20

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:1–3

Resources

• Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery & Dr. Joy Skarka
• Joy Skarka – Creating Spaces to Set Christian Women Free from Porn and Sexual Shame
• Authentic Intimacy - Juli Slattery
• Fight the New Drug
• The First Time I Saw Porn - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 3: 50 Shades of Here-We-Go-Again
• Episode 154: Why We’re Against Porn and Erotica
• Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman's Heart by Dannah Gresh & Dr. Juli Slattery
• Why Do Women Pose for Porn? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• What Are the Real Purposes of Sex? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Supernatural Sex: Spiritual Dimension of Libido for Low-Drive Wives • Bonny's Oysterbed7 (about yada')
• Episode 183: What Does God Have to Do with Our Sex Life
• Sex and the Single Girl by Dr. Juli Slattery, Abby Ludvigson & Chelsea Nugteren
• Talking to Your Kids about Sex: No More One & Done - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Start Talking to Your Kids about Sex by Julia Sandusky
• Who I Am in Christ by Neil T. Anderson

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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In this week's Sex Chat Quickie, guest Julie Sibert talks about the benefits of showering. Yes, showering! Stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage.

Resources * Episode 69: Shower Power * Intimacy In Marriage * Pursuit of Passion: Discovering True Intimacy in Your Marriage by Jeff Murphy & Julie Sibert

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For many Christians, it can be difficult to think about God and sex at the same time. How present is God in our bedrooms? And how does knowing that He knows make us feel? We dive deep into what God has to do with our sex lives and how to think about and embrace His involvement.

Sponsors

Thanks to MarriedDance, a Christian sex toy store that’s discreet and presents products in a nudity-free, marriage-focused environment.

And be sure to check out J's upcoming cruise!

From the Bible

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. Genesis 1:27, 31 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. Song of Songs 7:10

Resources

• Has Christianity Hurt Your Sex Life? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: Why Doesn't the Church Talk about Song of Songs? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Augustine's Sex-Life Change: From Profligate to Celibate | Christianity Today
• Praying to Your Heavenly Father: Do You Have Daddy Issues? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West
• The Names of God: 52 Bible Studies for Individuals and Groups by Ann Spangler
• Sex Addiction Recovery - Willow Tree Counseling (runs support groups for mental health professionals and other professionals that want another level of anonymity)
• The Sarah Society (has a group for pastors wives; start with the regular newcomer meeting)
• Christian Recovery, Counseling & Coaching | Prodigals International (runs both pastors and pastors wives group, both are free)
• Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage by J. Parker

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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In this week's Sex Chat Quickie, Bonny Burns talks about praying for your sex life. Follow-up with our webinars and/or stay tuned for more full episodes and quick tips about sex in marriage!

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We welcome guest Dr. Carol Tanksley, who is an author, speaker, podcaster, licensed OB-Gyn, and a trained and ordained minister. She joins us to talk about how your sexual story shaped you and how to pursue sexual wholeness as God intended.

Sponsor

Share the Soap – goat milk soap & bath products.

Special offer for our listeners: free lip balm (any flavor) with purchase of aloe & goat milk lotion! Put both lotion and lip balm into your cart and check out with the code FCWJUNE.

From the Bible

John 4:1-42 (Jesus and the Samaritan Woman at the Well)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

Resources

• Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories about God, Love, and Relationships by Carol Tanksley, MD, DMin
• Your Sexpectations
• Dr Carol Ministries
• The Chosen Scene: Jesus and the Outcast Woman at the Well
• Who's in Your Story of Sexual Intimacy? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations about Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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In this week's Sex Chat Quickie, J Parker talks about the bad messages we hear about sex.

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Many of us face obstacles to playfulness around sexuality and sexual experience. Today, we discuss ways to foster light hearts on a sometimes serious subject.

Sponsor

Thanks to MarriedDance, a Christian sex toy store that's discreet and presents products in a nudity-free, marriage-focused environment.

From the Bible

Song of Songs - the whole book!

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

Resources

• Episode 114: Pursuing Playfulness in Sexual Intimacy - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Episode 25: Sex Is Funny - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Faithful Counseling by Better Help - online therapy
• Does He Make You Laugh? - Hot, Holy & Humorous (hotholyhumorous.com)
• 3 Benefits to Playing a Bedroom Game - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations about Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker
• Why I Still Wear Lingerie (though My Hubby Doesn't Care) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 7 Ways to Make the Most of Your Lingerie | The Forgiven Wife

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! if you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's sex tip quickie comes from Julie Sibert of Intimacy in Marriage: self touch.

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Did you know that 3 out of 4 women at some point experience pain during intercourse? Today, we're joined by Debby Wade, a licensed therapist and expert in the area of women's sexual pain.

Sponsor

Thanks to Share the Soap for sponsoring the episode! Buy Goat Milk Getaway Box OR Indulgent Facial Spa Box and get a (or 2) FREE premium aloe & goat milk lotion sample(s). No Coupon Code but MUST put FCW in the comment box!

Visit Share the Soap.

From the Bible

Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. Psalm 30:2

Resources

• Debby Wade (ACTSolutions Therapy)
• Debby Wade — Institute for Sexual Wholeness Faculty
• Wives Struggling with Sexual Pain - Authentic Intimacy
• Painful intercourse (dyspareunia) - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic
• Genito-Pelvic Pain/Penetration Disorder - University of Texas
• Hypertonic Pelvic Floor: Symptoms, Causes & Treatment (clevelandclinic.org)
• Finding a Good Gynecologist - Hot, Holy & Humorous (hotholyhumorous.com)
• Casino Royale Scene Bonny Referenced (oops, it wasn't Skyfall, but in the same series!) - NSFW or with kids around
• Episode 33: When Sex Hurts Her - Knowing Her Sexually (khsministry.com)
• Find an ABCST Therapist
• Sexual Wholeness, Inc.
• Why I Chose To Get Rid Of Parabens & What I Use Instead! - MARRIAGE AFTER GOD (Unveiled Wife)
• Email Debby

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! if you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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J explains why it's a great idea to have a euphemism for sex.

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Earlier on in our podcast, we had an episode in which we gave advice to our newlywed selves. Today we want to revisit that topic a bit, but rather than talking to ourselves, we want to share the wisdom we've gained with young wives.

Sponsor

Thanks to Married Dance, a Christian marital aid and sex toy store, for sponsoring this episode.

From the Bible

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4–7

Resources

• Episode 32: Advice for Our Newlywed Selves
• Episode 43: Dealing with Sexual Baggage
• The Bad Plan of Bartering for Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Embrace a Sexual Growth Mindset - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• What I Wish I'd Known Before the Wedding Night - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• A Letter to My Newlywed Self: Age 25 - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Faithful Counseling (online therapy with a fellow believer through Better Help)
• Episode 153: Practical Tips for Reaching Orgasm
• Unlock Your Orgasm: Through a Christian Lens by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Orgasm Webinar - ONLY $10!

Donate to the ministry HERE.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! if you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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In this week's Sex Chat Quickie, Chris gives you four tips on dealing with a gag reflex during oral sex.

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When we talk about romantic attraction, we think of personal charm, visual appeal, and that spark of chemistry when a certain person is near. But for today's episode, consider this scientific one from Merriam-Webster, defining attraction as "a force acting mutually between particles of matter, tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation."

We're not just particles, but we want to be drawn toward our husband and to resist separation from him (and vice versa). But attraction doesn't stay the same over the whole of our marriage. Today, we talk about how we can keep attraction going or revive it if it's been lost.

Sponsor

Thanks to Share the Soap for sponsoring the episode! Get 25% off the Transform Your Shower Set for the month of April with our special code FCWTA.

From the Bible

My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand. Song of Songs 5:10

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen. 2 Peter 3:18

Resources

• What If You Don't Find Your Husband Attractive - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How to Boost Romantic Chemistry in Your Marriage - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why Being a Good Father Turns Your Wife On - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 70: Pursuing & Wooing Your Wife, with Kevin A. Thompson - Knowing Her Sexually (khsministry.com)
• I Wouldn't Sleep with You Either - Kevin A. Thompson (kevinathompson.com)

Donate to the Ministry HERE.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! if you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's quickie sex tip encourages you to learn about your husband's body.

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You've probably heard that sex is good for your husband or good for your marriage, but what about you? We share our thoughts on what's so great about sex for WIVES. Listen in!

Sponsor

Thanks to Married Dance, a Christian sex toy store, for sponsoring this episode.

From the Bible

So I commended enjoyment, because a man has nothing better under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry; for this will remain with him in his labor all the days of his life which God gives him under the sun. Ecclesiastes 8:15 (NKJV)

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day. Genesis 1:27, 31

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31–32

Resources

• Dear Wife, You Deserve a Great Sex Life | Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Sex Is for You Too
• Episode 132: The Orgasm Iceberg
• Controversial Ideas: Does Semen Act As an Antidepressant to the Recipient? (popsci.com)
• The Health Benefits of Sex (healthline.com)
• The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment by Clifford & Joyce Penner
• Episode 101: Enjoying Sex, with Joyce Penner
• Rethinking Sexuality: God's Design and Why It Matters by Dr. Juli Slattery
• Episode 147: God, Sex, and Your Marriage, with Dr. Juli Slattery

Donate to Our Ministry

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! if you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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In this week's sex tip, Chris talks about undressing for your husband as a sort of foreplay that helps both of you.

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Today, we tackle listener questions about whether low sex drive might be genetic, as well as how to address lack of desire; dealing with a husband's erectile problems; and what to do about a husband who disrupts a wife's sleep for sex.

Sponsor

Share the Soap goat milk aromatic bath and body skin care

Sex Chat Special: Order Face Serum, get Lip Balm for free! Enter code FCWSPRING at checkout (through March 31, 2024).

From the Bible

Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Song of Songs 2:7, 3:5, 8:4

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:19

Resources

• Unlock Your Orgasm by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Unlock Your Libido by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Dear Wife, You Deserve a Great Sex Life | Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• How Not to Think About Sex | The Forgiven Wife
• Sex Is for You Too
• What Is Sex? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 2020 Study about Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction
• 5 Times of Day to Make Love | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Does Sex Wake You Up or Make You Sleepy? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Melatonin Gummies (Amazon)

Donate to Our Ministry HERE.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! if you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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This week's Sex Chat Quickie is about learning about your own body.

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What does it mean to prioritize sex? What does that look like in a real-life marriage, especially in a real-life marriage and when there are obstacles to sexual intimacy?

From the Bible

Do not deprive one another—except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:5 (CSB)

Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love. Song of Songs 7:12

Resources

• Intimacy In Marriage
• Picking Your Priorities (Sex Should Be One of Them) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• A Prayer for Our Priorities (Including Sex) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• After Baby Comes Along | The Forgiven Wife
• Making Love When You Have Teens in the Home - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 118: Sex Is for You Too
• Episode 133: How to Talk to Your Husband About Sex
• 5 Times of Day to Make Love - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Calm.Healthy.Sexy. Key #6 - Create Margins Around Your Life - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Why She's Too Busy to Have Sex - Knowing Her Sexually (khsministry.com)
• Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker (hotholyhumorous.com)
• Strong Wives

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Donate to our ministry

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! if you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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We're launching a new feature of the Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast—Sex Chat Quickies! On the weeks between our full-length episodes, one of our hosts will bring you a quick sex tip.

This week's tip is what to ask your husband.

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It's hard to believe that we started this podcast seven years ago! Today, we're giving updates about our endeavors, talking about lessons learned, and announcing a few changes, including one big announcement.

From the Bible

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice. Proverbs 27:9

Resources

• The Healthy Dinners Toolbox - podcast listeners can save 50% by using the code FRIEND50 at checkout.
• Podcast Bingo Card
• 5 Ways to Feel More Sensual - Calm.Healthy.Sexy. (w/the Greek friend)
• Dear Wife, You Deserve a Great Sex Life Too - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• CoverGirl Colorlicious Lipstick, Spellbound [325]
• Subscribe to Our Newsletter (we promise not to inundate your inbox)
• As-You-Like-It Granola - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! if you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives - Bonny Burns Honeycomb & Spice - Chris TaylorCalm.Healthy.Sexy. and Healthy Life Toolbox.com - Gaye Christmus Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker

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Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." We are mindful of this promise as we share sad news about the unexpected death of Chris Taylor's husband. Please listen and consider how you can help.

Support

Any amount is appreciated. Thank you!

Fundraiser for Christel Taylor: Grateful for Doug Taylor (gofundme.com)

To send a check directly:

Chris Taylor c/o Cullom UMC 103 E. Van Alstyne PO Box 264 Cullom, Illinois

And if you want to know more about Doug Taylor, aka Big Guy, here are a couple of relevant posts from Chris’s first blog:

• Interview with Big Guy | The Forgiven Wife
• 27 Things I Love About Being Married to Big Guy | The Forgiven Wife

Apologies for the poor audio quality in some places. We were not in our usual recording setup but felt it important to go ahead and get this news out.

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We carry on our annual tradition of sharing Christmas season gift ideas with stocking stuffers that are sweet, surprising, sensual, and sexy! Happy holidays, everyone.

Sponsors

Share the Soap

Married Dance

Gift Ideas Sweet * Framed Photo or Memento from Early in Your Relationship * TableTopics Couples Question Game * TableTopics Date Night * Our Bucket List Adventures: A Journal to Plan Your Life Dreams as a Couple and Celebrate Your Favorite Memories * Keto Christmas Desserts Cookbook

Surprising

• Dollar Store Adventure - gift cards you can use
• Every Love Intimates Date Night Box Subscription
• The Ultimate Fun Book for Couples: 60 Exciting and Lighthearted Quizzes, Games, and Challenges to Bring You Closer Than Ever
• Deck of Sex Position Cards Game (marrieddance.com)

Sensual * Anticipation Aromatherapy Roll-on from our friend and advertiser, Share the Soap * Mini Massage Gun * Hand Lotion * Massage Oil * Massage Candle

Sensual * Anticipation Aromatherapy Roll-on from our friend and advertiser, Share the Soap * Mini Massage Gun * Hand Lotion * Massage Oil * Massage Candle

This post may contain affiliate links, meaning we receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you.

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One of our earliest episodes addressed sex toys, but we haven’t talked about it in a while. And yet, it’s one of the most often asked questions. Are they okay? How to use them? How not to use them? We cover that ground and more.

And stay tuned to the end for our special announcement.

Sponsor

Married Dance Christian Sex Toy Store (Nudity-Free, Discreet Shipping)

From the Bible

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. 1 Corinthians 10:23–24

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22–23

Resources

• Q&A with J: "Is It Okay to Use Sex Toys?" - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Having Sex When You Have a Disability - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Sexual Mobility Aids | Sex Accessibility Equipment (intimaterider.com)
• Should You Use a Dildo? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: "I'm Desensitized to My Husband's Touch!" - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• FRIES sexual consent: Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific
• What Consent Looks Like | RAINN
• Has the Mainstream Embraced BDSM? Should You? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Married Dance Christian Sex Toy Store (see specific items mentioned below)
• 60-Day Risk-Free Bullet Vibrator Pilot Program
• Yoga Sex Swing
• Liberator Wedge Sex Pillow
• Pulse Solo Vibrating Stroker
• Satin Blindfold
• Love Cuffs
• Donut Erection Enhancer Rings 3 Pack
• Sex Games & Sex Dice for Couples

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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Once again, we're answering your questions! Today, we'll cover three topics: what does "deprivation" really mean (1 Corinthians 7:3-5), dealing with the messiness of sex, and when sex cannot happen.

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From the Bible The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Resources * Vibrator for Husband/Couple * Is Refusing Sex in Marriage a Sin? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Are You Owed Sex in Marriage? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Maintaining Sexual Intimacy When Sex Isn't Possible | WORTHY Bible Studies * Enjoying Your Husband's Semen | The Forgiven Wife * Liberator Fascinator Throw Sex Sheets | Married Dance * Dealing with Erection Problems | The Forgiven Wife

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

This post may contain affiliate links, meaning we receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you.

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Recorded while still on our retreat in Nashville, Tennessee, we're playing a game and invite you to play along! Inspired by a board game in the Airbnb where we stayed, Chris and J present trivia questions about sex and test how much we "sexperts" really know.

DOWNLOAD YOUR FACT OR FICTION PRINTABLE!

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From the Bible

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:13

My dove in the clefts of the rock,
in the hiding places on the mountainside,
show me your face,
let me hear your voice;for your voice is sweet,
and your face is lovely.
Song of Songs 2:14

Resources

• The Hardest Sex Quiz You Will Ever Take (buzzfeed.com)
• Sex Trivia Quiz (buzzfeed.com)
• Penis Size: From the Wife's Point of View - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: "Is My Penis Big Enough?" - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: Doesn't She Really Want a Bigger Penis? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: Is Sex Disconnected from Love for Men? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Sex After a Hysterectomy - Part 1: The Basics | The Forgiven Wife
• Episode 132: The Orgasm Iceberg
• Orgasm Webinar
• Fun Findings about Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• BentCarrot.com
• What we didn't know about male anatomy | Diane Kelly - TED Talk

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns)
Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor)
Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus)
Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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We have often shared tips of things you can do to enjoy sex more, but today we're going to talk about things not to do. In this episode, we address 6 things not to do during sex.

Sponsor Hot, Holy & Humorous Intimacy Cruise

From the Bible My dove in the clefts of the rock,
in the hiding places on the mountainside,
show me your face,
let me hear your voice;for your voice is sweet,
and your face is lovely.
Song of Songs 2:14

Resources * Enough, Already | The Forgiven Wife * 4 Ways to Be Present During Sex | The Forgiven Wife * Mindfulness & Meditation During Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Q&A with J: Engaging Your Mind in Lovemaking - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Wives: What Is Your Husband Thinking During Sex? - Hot, Holy & Humorous (guest post from Gerad Harris) * Does Your Spouse Think about Previous Lovers? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Two Words Your Higher-Desire Spouse Needs You to Hear - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Episode 118: Sex Is for You Too

This post may contain affiliate links, meaning we receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you.

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You’ve probably heard of love languages, or maybe you haven’t. But when minister Gary Chapman noted that spouses often communicated love past one another, he realized that we express love in different ways. So, he proposed that there are five love languages—and his book of the same name became a bestseller and perennial favorite. Today, we’ll talk about those languages and what they mean when it comes to our favorite topic: sex.

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From the Bible

Gifts: Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love. Song of Songs 7:12

Quality Time:
My beloved is mine and I am his;
he browses among the lilies.
Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee,
turn, my beloved,
and be like a gazelle
or like a young stag
on the rugged hills.
Song of Songs 2:17

Physical Touch: His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me. Song of Songs 2:6, 8:3

Acts of Service:
I would lead you
and bring you to my mother’s house—
she who has taught me.
I would give you spiced wine to drink,
the nectar of my pomegranates.
Song of Songs 8:2

Words of Affirmation:

HE
How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes are doves.

SHE
How handsome you are, my beloved!
Oh, how charming!
And our bed is verdant.

(Many other passages in Song of Solomon demonstrate Words of Affirmation!)

Resources

• The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman
• Discover Your Love Language® - The 5 Love Languages®
• Identify Your Spouse's Love Language - Love Languages Quiz (calmhealthysexy.com)
• Speak Your Husband's Love Language- and Strengthen Your Marriage (calmhealthysexy.com)
• Why Knowing Your Low Drive Wife's Love Language is Important • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• "Do You Enjoy Getting Flowers?" What Your Answers Tell Me About Marriage - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Help Your Husband Speak Love in Your Language | The Forgiven Wife
• Loving My Husband | The Forgiven Wife
• Episode 67: Romance and Your Bedroom
• Fuzu Massage Candle | MarriedDance
• Astroglide Strawberry-Flavored Water-Based Personal Lubricant | MarriedDance
• Episode 10: Tending Your Garden
• Bedazzled, Bothered, and Bewildered - Hot, Holy & Humorous (on vajazzling)
• Episode 120: Our Holiday Gift Guide – Sexy and Romantic Gifts for Couples

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we'd appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns)
Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor)
Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmas)
Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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About this episode Welcome back to another episode of Sex Chat for Christian Wives. Today, we want to talk about emotional labor and how it can negatively affect sexual interest. The term “emotional labor” has come to mean the emotional cost of outwardly acting with composure when inwardly we are feeling something different. Rose Hackman, an expert on emotional labor describes is at the editing work of emotions that someone would do in order to have an effects on the emotions of someone else.

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From the Bible Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load. Galatians 6:2–5

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. Ephesians 4:9

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
Proverbs 31:10–18

Resources * What Is Emotional Labor in Relationships? (brides.com) (mentioned by J) * 5 Words Women Need to Learn to Say – CalmHealthySexy * How to Manage Your Family’s Schedule (to Reduce Stress!) – CalmHealthySexy * The Working Mother’s Guilt Guide * Helping Your Wife Balance Motherhood and Sexual Intimacy – Knowing Her Sexually (khsministry.com) * Dad Discovers the Mental Load | Video | SBS Voices * Women are earning more, but they’re still doing more housework and caregiving : NPR * Does Choreplay Work? – Knowing Her Sexually * Why a Husband Helping Around the House Makes a Wife More Open to Sex – Hot, Holy & Humorous (hotholyhumorous.com) * Episode 5: Sex Scheduling * Episode 148: Sex Scheduling 101 * Calm. Healthy. Happy. – 17 Simple Ways to Slow Down, Feel Great, and C – CalmHealthySexy ($5 book)

This post may contain affiliate links, meaning we receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you.

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We’re recording before the American Independence Day, but this episode will air on July 4th—a time when fireworks displays can be found all over the country. But what about the explosive power of lovemaking? How can you create fireworks in the bedroom?

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From the Bible

The mandrakes send out their fragrance,
and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
that I have stored up for you, my beloved.
Song of Songs 7:13

Resources

• Episode 153: Practical Tips for Reaching Orgasm
• How to Have Vacation Sex - Even When You're Not on Vacation (calmhealthysexy.com)
• Marriage Cruise - Hot, Holy & Humorous - ONLY A FEW SPOTS LEFT!
• 5 Times of Day to Make Love - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Want a transcript of this episode? With the help of AI, we're trying out a new feature. Click HERE to get a PDF with a (rough) transcription of Episode 157: Creating Fireworks in the Bedroom.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we'd appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns)
Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor)
Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmas)
Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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About this episode Today we're talking about the penis. What exactly is it? How does your husband feel about it? How do you feel about it? And how can you get comfortable and have fun with it?

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From the Bible So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

Resources * Diane Kelly: What we didn't know about penis anatomy | TED Talk * Oral Sex Webinar - Sex Chat for Christian Wives - ONLY $10! * Penis Size: From the Wife's Point of View - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Q&A with J: "Is My Penis Big Enough?" - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Q&A with J: "Will My Larger Penis Hurt My Bride?" - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Q&A with J: Doesn't She Really Want a Bigger Penis? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Does size matter? Men's and women's views on penis size across the lifespan. (apa.org) - study mentioned * Get to Know His Penis - The Forgiven Wife * How to Give a Hand Job - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Enjoying Your Husband's Semen - The Forgiven Wife * Erection - The Cleveland Clinic

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Today's episode focuses on a group of women who often struggle to enjoy sex or prioritize sex in their marriages – busy moms. This group includes women across a wide range of ages and life stages 0151from those caring for infants and toddlers at home to those juggling all of the activities, demands, and worries involved in raising teenagers. We talk about some of the things that get in the way of busy moms enjoying sex in their marriages and share some ideas for creating a more enjoyable sex life.

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From Share the Soap, check out the new quarterly subscription box! And for FCW listeners only, use coupon code FCWJuly and get a free lip balm.Put the Celebrate box and the desired lip balm in the cart, apply the coupon, and the lip balm will be free. Coupon good for the month of July.

Visit Share the Soap.

From the Bible

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Proberbs 31:25, 28-29

Resources

• Manage Your Family's Schedule - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• 5 Words You Need to Learn to Say - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• 6 Simple Ways to Slow Down this Summer - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• 4 Reasons to Add a Regular "Parents' Night" to Your Family's Schedule - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Q&A with J: Baby's Here, But Sex? Not So Much. - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Yes, Kid, Your Mommy and Daddy Have Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Making Love When You Have Teens in the Home - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: Avoiding Sex Because the Kids Can Hear - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 95: How Does Depression Affect Sex?
• After Baby Comes Along | The Forgiven Wife
• What Will the Kids Think? | The Forgiven Wife
• 3 Ways for a Young Mom to Feel More Sensual • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Moms still doing more housework in COVID 19 pandemic | Ball State University (bsu.edu)
• A Guy's Guide To Emotional Labor - AskMen (article recommended by Chris)
• Getting in the Mood Webinar – Replay - ONLY $10!

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we'd appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns)
Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor)
Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmas)
Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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Today, we're discussing pornography and erotica, and you can probably guess where our collective opinions land. But we want to explore this topic just a little further to solidify where your values land.

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Email Bonny: bonny@strongwives.com

From the Bible

So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 (NLT)

I will conduct the affairs of my house
with a blameless heart.
I will not look with approval
on anything that is vile.
Psalm 101:2b–3a

Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.
Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?
Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Proverbs 5:15–18

Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes. Proverbs 6:25

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” Matthew 5:27–30

"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman." Job 31:1

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4

Resources

• Defining Pornography • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Episode 3: 50 Shades of Here-We-Go-Again
• A Shaded View of Romance | The Forgiven Wife
• Are Romance Novels Okay for Christian Women? | The Forgiven Wife
• As Bad as Porn? | The Forgiven Wife
• Common Myths of Romance Novels - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• An Open Letter on Porn (gottman.com)
• Why Do Women Pose for Porn? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer
• 5 Reasons to Stop Using Porn...Now - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• It's True: Porn Can Kill Your Sex Life - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• You're Not Freaking Out, You're Responding to Death • Strong Wives
• The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst by Michelle Mays
• Q&A with J: "My Husband Is Addicted to Porn" - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 40: Healing after Porn Discovery
• Strong Wives - Bonny's website
• Hope For Wives Podcast: Overcoming the Impact of Sexual Betrayal
• Is Porn Use an Addiction (and Does It Even Matter)? | The Forgiven Wife
• Q&A with J: "What Should We Call Persistent Porn Use?" - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why Does He Watch Porn? Understanding Root Causes • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Critiques of Questionable & Misleading Studies; Debunking Propaganda Pieces (yourbrainonporn.com)
• Check out our webinars. Some are priced at $5, some at $10 — ALL an amazing deal!

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we'd appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns)
Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor)
Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmas)
Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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About this episode One of the most frequent questions we hear is how can we more easily achieve the ultimate moment with our husbands in the bedroom. So today, we are talking about practical tips to reach orgasm.

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This episode is also sponsored by Married Dance, an online Christian sex toy store

From the Bible Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. Song of Songs 1:2

Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love. Song of Songs 5:1b

Resources * Orgasm Webinar - ONLY $10! * Peace and Fireworks | The Forgiven Wife * Unlock Your Orgasm: Through a Christian Lens by Bonny Logsdon Burns * Q&A with J: Does He Know How Your Orgasm Works? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Rebuilding Intimacy in Marriage (When Trust Has Been Damaged) - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Forget What You Look Like While Making Love - Hot, Holy & Humorous * 6 Steps to Learn to Orgasm with Your Husband | Honeycomb & Spice * Q&A with J: "How Can I Orgasm with Penetration?" - Hot, Holy & Humorous * A Key to Understanding Orgasm: Deep Spots • Bonny's Oysterbed7 (see O series list at the bottom) * Does Your Husband Prioritize Your Orgasm? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * These 3 Actions Could Bring You to Orgasm - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Use Scent to Enhance Your Sex Life | The Forgiven Wife

This post may contain affiliate links, meaning we receive a commission for purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you.

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While some Christian leaders and churches address the topic of sex well, too many either mishandle it or ignore it altogether. We here at the virtual kitchen table have heard the stories, good and bad. And we’re bringing our collective wisdom today to share what we wish more churches knew about sex and how to encourage church leaders to talk more biblically, authentically, and respectfully about it.

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From the Bible

Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. James 3:1 (A heavy verse for all of us who dare to instruct others publicly. May God give us wisdom.)

Resources

• Episode 50: Happily, with Kevin A. Thompson
• Will Your Pastor Preach on Sex? - Hot, Holy & Humorous (with a sermon on sex from Kevin A. Thompson)
• A Message to Your Pastor (and Mine) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 118: Sex Is for You Too
• Authentic Intimacy - Resources for Leaders
• One Way Churches Could Really Help Marriages - Hot, Holy & Humorous (hotholyhumorous.com)
• Invite J to Speak! - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Sexual Clarity for Christian Women Course w/Bonny • Strong Wives
• Intimacy Mentoring w/Chris Taylor - Honeycomb & Spice
• Why Abuse in the Church Makes Me Crazy - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Samson Society
• Episode 22:: Sexual Harassment #ustoo
• Episode 64: Healing from Sexual Abuse, with Mary DeMuth

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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In this episode, we tackle listener questions, including where Christian wives can find sex tips and techniques, fantasizing during lovemaking, when it's okay to refuse sex, and how to grab hold of an elusive orgasm.

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Learn More about Desire Con 2023

From the Bible

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Hebrews 13:4 (NASB)

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 1 Corinthians 7:3-6 (NKJV) - but see the definition and examples for deprivation HERE

Resources

• 75 Ideas for Spicing Up Your Sex Life - Honeycomb & Spice
• How To Tips - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design by J. Parker
• 2019-2020 Webinar Bundle
• Foreplay – Webinar
• Getting in the Mood Webinar
• Oral Sex Webinar
• 280+ Illustrated Sex Positions | Christian Friendly Sex Positions
• Packing the Suitcase Sex Position - Christian-friendly Sex Positions
• Dragonfly Sex Position - Christian-friendly Sex Positions
• Games & Sex Dice for Couples - Married Dance Online Store
• 3 Benefits to Playing a Bedroom Game - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How to Fantasize About Your Spouse - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How to Get Rid of a Fantasy You Don’t Want | The Forgiven Wife
• Mindfulness & Meditation During Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• What Is Emotional Safety? (and What Does It Have to Do with Sex?) - Knowing Her Sexually
• Episode 132: The Orgasm Iceberg
• Sex Positions with Clitoral Stimulation - Christian-friendly Sex Positions
• 6 Steps to Learn to Orgasm with Your Husband - Honeycomb & Spice
• Forget What You Look Like While Making Love - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Unlock Your Orgasm: Through a Christian Lens by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Orgasm Webinar

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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We’re back at the virtual kitchen table, and today we’re talking about our bodies. That is, women’s bodies—what real women look like, how we view our bodies, and how we can care for and embrace those bodies that we bring into the marital bedroom.

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Also, the Hot, Holy & Humorous cruise.

FROM THE BIBLE

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Psalm 139:13-15

RESOURCES

• 11 Ways to Love Your Body - CalmHealthySexy
• Beauty and Confidence for Real Women - CalmHealthySexy
• 5 Ways to Feel Confident and Look Great - CalmHealthySexy
• A Wife's Breasts Have History! | The Forgiven Wife
• Episode 10: Tending Your Garden
• Episode 149: Your Body, Your Health, and Your Sex Life
• 5 Reasons to Embrace the Body You Have - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Feel Beautiful Series Archives - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 91: How to Feel More Sensual
• Dove Real Beauty Sketches | You’re more beautiful than you think
• Toxic Influence: A Dove Film | Dove Self-Esteem Project

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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Today we’re talking about your health and health habits and the ways they can affect your sex live. As you know, we’re not medical professionals, so we won’t be talking about specific health conditions or medical advice. Instead, we’ll focus on the kinds of healthy habits that almost every woman can establish in her life and the ways that those habits might affect her body and sex life.

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From the Bible

"Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well." 3 John 2:1

Resources

• 15 benefits of drinking water and other water facts (medicalnewstoday.com)
• 5 Healthy Eating Tips for Women - Healthy Life Toolbox
• A Simple Way to Improve Your Diet - CalmHealthySexy
• The Busy Woman's Guide to Making Time for Exercise (use code FRIEND25 at checkout to save 25%)
• Quick. Healthy. Delicious. Simple Meal Solutions for Busy Moms and Hungry Families (use code FRIEND25 at checkout to save 25%)
• 32 oz. Motivational Water Bottle - Amazon
• 32 oz. Mermaid Water Bottle - Amazon (J loves this one!)
• Toolkit for Sleep - Huberman Lab
• Tools for Making Healthy Changes in Your Life - Healthy Life Toolbox
• The New Way to Get More Exercise - Healthy Life Toolbox
• 8 Ways Sugar Sours Your Sexual Interest • Bonny's Oysterbed7

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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Today, we are discussing sex scheduling. This is a term we throw around in our kitchen table conversations, and yet it’s been a while since we devoted a whole episode to this controversial topic.

Sponsor

Thanks to Share the Soap for sponsoring this episode! Check out their wonderful, natural skin products. Great for gifts or self-care.

Also sponsored by the Hot, Holy & Humorous Cruise, coming October 12–21, 2023.

From the Bible

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Resources

• What Is Sex? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Intimate Covenant Podcast: Q&A from the 2022 Annual Retreat [112] on Apple Podcasts - Q at 7:43 (also available on their website)
• Big Bang Theory – Sheldon & Amy on Honeymoon
• What Euphemisms for Sex Do You Use? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Different Sleep Schedules? 1 Simple Tip to Keep Your Sex Life Alive - Honeycomb & Spice
• How Do You Manage Sex When Your Schedules Are Different? - The Forgiven Wife
• Episode 5: Sex Scheduling
• Episode 86: Making Space in Your Life for Sex

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well: Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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Dr. Juli Slattery, the co-founder of Authentic Intimacy and author of numerous books, joins us at the virtual kitchen table to discuss some topics found in her latest book, God, Sex, and Your Marriage.

Sponsor

Venus Pearls Vaginal Comfort Suppositories, formulated to relieve vaginal dryness and enhance sexual response. Buy 2 Get 1 with coupon code B2G1

Also sponsored by Married Dance, an online Christian marital aid store from a Christian husband and wife.

From the Bible (in order of mention in the episode)

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. 1 Corinthians 7:3-6 (NIV)

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3-4

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

The wife’s body does not belong only to her. It also belongs to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong only to him. It also belongs to his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:4 (NIRV)

The wife does not have [exclusive] authority over her own body, but the husband shares with her; and likewise the husband does not have [exclusive] authority over his body, but the wife shares with him. (AMP)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-33

The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 (MSG Paraphrase)

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 (KJV)

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 1 Corinthians 12:9a (NKJV)

Resources * God, Sex, and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery * Rethinking Sexuality by Dr. Juli Slattery * Authentic Intimacy - Juli's website * Are You Owed Sex in Marriage? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Does Sex in Marriage Keep You from Cheating? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * The #1 Myth Christian Women Learned about Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Love (and Sex in Marriage) Is Not Self-Seeking - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker (have deeper discussions about sex!) * Praying Together for Your Marriage - Hot, Holy & Humorous * 4 Ways to Be Present During Sex - The Forgiven Wife * “In Bed” (or, Lessons from a Fortune Cookie) - The Forgiven Wife * Join Me for a Study! - Honeycomb & Spice

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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When it comes to sexual interest, we tend to talk about which spouse has the higher or lower drive. Whichever you are, it can be helpful to understand where the opposite is coming from. So today, we’re going to illuminate what desire is like for the higher drive wife and lower drive wife—recognizing that this can help us better understand our own spouse’s perspective and be advocates for one another!

Sponsor

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Also sponsored by: Hot, Holy & Humorous Marriage, October 14-21, 2023

From the Bible

I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. Song of Songs 7:10

Resources

• Episode 13: Mismatched Sex Drives
• Understanding Your Sex Drive – Webinar Replay - ONLY $5!
• Understanding Her Sex Drive – Webinar Replay (for the hubbies!) - ONLY $5
• Are You Normal? - Honeycomb & Spice
• Episode 145: When the Relationship Gets in the Way of Sex
• Episode 66: Higher Drive Wives
• Higher Desire Wife Community (hosted by J of Hot, Holy & Humorous)
• How the Sexually Rejected Spouse Feels - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Intimate Covenant Podcast: Higher Drive Wives with guest, J. Parker [129] on Apple Podcasts
• Depression and Sexual Interest • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• Episode 95: How Does Depression Affect Sex?
• Q&A with J: Should A Higher Drive Spouse Lower Their Expectations? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How the Sexually Disinterested Spouse Feels - Hot, Holy & Humorous Dear Wife, You Deserve a Great Sex Life Too - Healthy Life. Happy Marriage.
• Episode 118: Sex Is for You Too
• Flip the Switch from Initiation to Availability - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show. Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor) Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus) Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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About this episode For women, sexual interest tends to be affected by many different factors. Of particular significance is the status of our marital relationship. When things are going great in your overall relationship with your husband, sex can feel like an easy and natural extension of that relationship.

And what about when things aren’t going so great? It’s normal to have ups and downs throughout the life of your marriage—but how does this affect your sex life, and what can you do about it?

Before we dig in, let’s be absolutely clear that we are talking about normal ups and downs—when you and your husband have had an argument, when one of you has hurt feelings, or even when life gets busy and you barely have time for a conversation, much less sex. We are NOT talking about a marriage that is on the verge of divorce, nor are we talking about a situation in which your husband has been in unrepentant sin against you through pornography or abuse.

Sponsor Share the Soap - Turn Up the Romance Set

Use the code fcwsteamy for an extra 20% off if you order by February 28, 2023.

Married Dance

Venus Pearls

From the Bible Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Resources * What About Him? | The Forgiven Wife * Nurture Your Nonsexual Intimacy | The Forgiven Wife * Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work by Kevin A. Thompson * Episode 9: The Myth of Make-up Sex - Knowing Her Sexually (khsministry.com)

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Quickie can be used as a noun or adjective to simply mean “something done or made in a hurry.” When it comes to lovemaking, quickies are drive-through sex, rather than the full meal or feast we might prefer to have. But quickies in a marriage can serve a positive purpose, and today we talk about when and how to incorporate them into your marriage, as well as when not to.

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Visit the website and save 30% off!

Also sponsored by Married Dance. Save 13% storewide using coupon BF22 only through November 30, midnight CST.

From the Bible

“Hurry, my beloved,
And be like a gazelle or a young stag
On the mountains of balsam trees!”
Song of Songs 8:14 (NASB)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Resources

• What a Quickie Taught Us About Sexual Intimacy | The Forgiven Wife
• How "Maintenance Sex" Can Bless Your Marriage - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 60-Day Risk-Free Bullet Vibrator Pilot Program | Christian sex toy store | MarriedDance
• Mindfulness & Meditation During Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 62: Why Not Have a Quickie? - Knowing Her Sexually (khsministry.com)

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns)
Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor)
Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus)
Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

Affiliate notice: This post contains affiliate links, meaning that our ministry receives a small commission with each purchase made through the link that helps cover our costs.

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About this episode Welcome to our 6th annual Christmas episode!

With Christmas only 6 weeks away, we want to help ease your mental load. So, today we are sharing some gift giving ideas that link to our favorite past episodes.

These gifts are in the categories of:

Something you want
Something you need
Something you wear
and Something you read!

And of course, the gift ideas we offer are something that can enhance the sexual intimacy in your marriage.

Sponsor

Special for our listeners: Buy an advent self-care set and get a free Anticipation Aromatherapy Roll On (a $9.99 value). To get the bonus, simply add both items to the cart and use coupon code FCWALLIWANT at checkout.

Click Here to Visit Share the Soap!

This episode is also sponsored by Married Dance - a Christian sex toy store run by a married couple, with marriage-focused products and tips.

Be sure to listen to the episode to hear more about the products below
and learn why they made our lists!

Chris's picks, based on Episode 98: Overcoming Boredom in the Bedroom.

WANT

• 60-Day Risk-Free Bullet Vibrator Pilot Program | MarriedDance
• 60-Day Risk-Free Traditional-Style Vibrator Pilot Program | MarriedDance
• 60-Day Risk-Free Air Pulse Clitoral Stimulator Pilot Program | MarriedDance
• 60-Day Risk-Free Vibrating Ring Pilot Program | MarriedDance
• 60-Day Risk-Free G-Spot Vibrator Pilot Program | MarriedDance

NEED

• Personal Lubricants | MarriedDance
• Liberator Fascinator Throw | MarriedDance

WEAR

• Honoring Intimates - model-free lingerie
• Temporary Tattoos - love-themed
• Costumes, like a Pirate

READ

• Deck of Sex Position Cards | Christian sex toy store | MarriedDance
• Sock Monkey Kama Sutra

J's picks, based on Episode 75: Our Best Tips for Initiating Sex

WANT

Bedroom Makeover:

• The One Whom My Soul Loves Song of Solomon 3:4 Wall Decal
• Downluxe Queen Comforter Set
• Bedsure Bamboo Cooling Sheets
• Fairy String Lights with Remote (mood lighting)
• Yankee Candle MidSummer's Night Scented, Classic 22oz Large Jar (other scents available)
• Let’s Snuggle/Let’s Get Naked Reversible Pillowcases
• Love Mop Premium Cotton Sex Towel

NEED

• Higher Desire Wife Subscription (we've been there, we know, we're here for you) - 30-day trial available

WEAR

• Edible Body Paints
• Glow-in-the-Dark Neon Body Paint Crayons
• Black Light Bulbs (2-pack)

READ

• You & Me - A Game of Love & Intimacy Couple's Sex Game

Gaye's picks, based on Episode 4: Stress and Sex

WANT

• Ultimate Aromatherapy Diffuser & Essential Oil Set - Ultrasonic Diffuser & Top 10 Essential Oils - Modern Diffuser with 4 Timer & 7 Ambient Light Settings - Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils – Lavender

NEED

• 6 Assorted Goat Milk Bath Soaks (bath bombs) from our friend and podcast sponsor, Share the Soap

WEAR

• Aculief Heating and Cooling Shoulder Wrap W/Lavender Aromatherapy

READ

• Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, Updated and Expanded Edition, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Bonny's picks, based on Episode 84: Self-Care and Sexual Interest

WANT

A better friendship with your husband

• Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide
• Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage
• Pillow Talk

NEED

We all need Jesus!

• John (a LifeChange book)
• Reclaiming Your Sexual Identity after Betrayal - Small Group Led by Bonny Logsdon Burns

WEAR

• Red Charmeuse Satin Nightie by Honoring Intimates
• Fuzzy Fleece Leopard Lounge Set
• Belle's Design Flannel Nightshirt

READ

• Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode by Aundi Kolber

More Resources * Hot, Holy & Humorous Store with sexy Christmas coupons, private gift tags, and more * Sex Chat for Christian Wives webinars - value-priced and chock-full of great info for your sexual intimacy

From the Bible “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." John 17:20-23

May you and your husband be in unity this holiday season (and beyond)!

Affiliate notice: This post contains affiliate links, meaning that our ministry receives a small commission with each purchase made through the link that helps cover our costs.

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns)
Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor)
Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus)
Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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It’s hard to believe, but today we’re going to start talking about the holidays. By the time we publish this episode, most of us will have started thinking about the upcoming holiday season.

What does that have to do with sex? Just this—the six or seven weeks from mid-November until New Year’s Day are some of the busiest and most stressful of the year for women. And we know from previous episodes (and you likely know from your own experience) that stress can mess with your libido and your sex life.

So, we want to talk a little bit about stress and sex, but then mostly about ways to reduce holiday stress and enjoy fun sex and intimacy with your husband during the busy holiday season.

Sponsor

Use code FCWlipbalm to get free lip balm (J's favorite lip balm ever!) when you buy massage oil. Click here to shop now!

From the Bible

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 9:6

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians 3:2

Resources

• Peace. Love. Joy. 75 Simple Ways to Take Care of Your Health, Happiness, and Marriage this Holiday Season (use code FRIEND25 at checkout to save 25%)
• 25 Ways to Have Fun with Your Spouse During the Holidays - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• 5 Ways to Take the Crazy Out of Christmas this Year - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Are Stress & Fatigue Killing Your Sex Life? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Does Your Sex Drive Take a Dive in the Holiday Season? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 5 Ways to Make the Holidays Good for Your Marriage - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Is Seasonal Depression Impacting Your Marriage? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Fully Decorated Pre-Lit 6 Foot Pop-Up Christmas Tree (not the one J has but similar)
• In case you're curious, Buc-ee's holds the World Record for Largest Convenience Store
• My Gift to You: Christmas Intimacy Playlist - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Santa Baby Bedroom Soundtrack Playlist • Bonny's Oysterbed7

Thanks for joining us at the virtual kitchen table for another great chat! If you could, we’d appreciate you leaving a five-star rating and/or review so that others can find the show.

Please be sure to check out our website and webinars at forchristianwives.com. And visit our individual ministry pages for more resources as well:

Strong Wives (Bonny Burns)
Honeycomb & Spice (Chris Taylor)
Calm.Healthy.Sexy. and The Healthy Life Toolbox (Gaye Christmus)
Hot, Holy & Humorous (J. Parker)

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About this episode We hear from many wives who say they struggle with giving oral sex. In episode 42, we looked at the big picture of oral sex and discussed what God has to say, health concerns, and how a couple can work through their disagreement about oral sex. This episode is for wives who are ready to start giving their husbands oral sex or who want to get even better at it. We’re going to get into some specifics here. So, friends, pull yourself up close to our virtual kitchen table and listen up.

Sponsors Click the image to visit Share the Soap and learn more about goat milk products with aromatherapy.

This episode was also sponsored in part by our Webinar Series. Visit our store to learn more.

From the Bible Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. Song of Songs 2:3

Resources * Is Giving a "Blow Job" Enjoyable for the Wife? - Hot, Holy & Humorous (hotholyhumorous.com) * 5 Things You Should Know about Oral Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Get to Know His Penis | The Forgiven Wife * Fresh Balls Lotion| Men's Anti-Chafing Soothing Cream to Powder - Ball Deodorant and Hygiene for Groin Area * MANSCAPED® The Crop Preserver, Anti-Chafing Men's Ball Deodorant, Male Care Hygiene Moisturizer * Episode 10: Tending Your Garden * Q&A with J: What about "Manscaping"? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * MANSCAPED® Electric Groin Hair Trimmer, The Lawn Mower™ * Trustex Flavored Latex Oral Sex Condoms | Christian sex toy store | MarriedDance * Sliquid Naturals Swirl Edible Lube | Christian sex toy store | MarriedDance * JO H2O Flavored Lube - Strawberry & Many Others * Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design by J. Parker (full chapter on Oral Sex) * Oral Sex Webinar * Oral Sex: Learning to Bless and Learning to Be Blessed | The Forgiven Wife * Do I Have To? | The Forgiven Wife

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For many, sexuality and sexual experience are compartmentalized away from God. Today, we want to invite you to sit with us as we discuss how God is interwoven throughout every area of our lives, including (and most importantly for this podcast) our sexual intimacy with our husbands.

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From the Bible

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4 (NASB)

But now, this is what the Lord says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
nations in exchange for your life.
Isaiah 43:1-2,4

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 9:6-11

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 (ESV)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
Psalm 139:7-10

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 1 John 4:16

Resources

• Episode 30: Lies Women Believe, Part 2 - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Episode 43: Dealing with Sexual Baggage
• Is It Okay to Yell at God about Your Marriage? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• A Prayer for Your Sexual Intimacy - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Praying Before, During, and After Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 117: Prayer and Sex
• “In Bed” (or Lessons from a Fortune Cookie) - The Forgiven Wife
• Sexual Invocation – My Journey Toward Sexual Wholeness #3 - The Forgiven Wife
• Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage by J. Parker

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

Check out our value-priced webinars: Shop! - Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Individual Websites

Calm.Healthy.Sexy. - Gaye Christmus
Honeycomb & Spice - Chris Taylor
Hot, Holy & Humorous - J. Parker
Strong Wives - Bonny Burns

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Sexual arousal describes physiological and psychological preparation for a sexual encounter and intercourse. Today, we talk about what it feels like, what gets in the way, and how to enhance your sexual arousal.

Sponsor

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From the Bible

Let him lead me to the banquet hall,
and let his banner over me be love.
Strengthen me with raisins,
refresh me with apples,
for I am faint with love.
His left arm is under my head,
and his right arm embraces me.

Song of Songs 2:4-6

Resources

• Sex Chat for Christian Wives - webinars
• Episode 1: Getting in the Mood
• Episode 33: Getting in the Mood 2
• Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexual Response Be Like Your Husband's? | The Forgiven Wife
• You're Not Kissing Enough - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• An Embarrassing Post about Female Sexual Dysfunction | The Forgiven Wife
• Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy Without Hormones | The Forgiven Wife
• Mindfulness & Meditation During Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 5 Ways to Talk About Sex with Your Husband (calmhealthysexy.com)
• 2019 Webinar Series
• 2020 Webinar Series

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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Today, Bonny and Gaye share fresh ways of thinking about changes you want to make in your sex life and offer practical tips for taking small, positive steps in that direction.

Sponsor

CLICK HERE TO BUY OR LEARN MORE!

Also sponsored by Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations about Sex for Married Couples!

From the Bible

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

Song of Solomon: Solomon’s Song of Songs - Bible Gateway

Resources

• Embrace Uncertainty - The Healthy Life Toolbox
• Overcome Resistance - The Healthy Life Toolbox
• Focus on Action - The Healthy Life Toolbox
• The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield
• Resolution Week: "And Now for Something Completely Different..." - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Two Words That Could Change the Course of Sex in Your Marriage - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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There are a lot of resources about sex now, some great and some terrible. But often, resources have some important truths, some debatable points, and some myths. Today we want to talk about what really matters—the foundational points we want wives to know about sex.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about sex?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Resources

• Dear Wife, You Deserve a Great Sex Life Too - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• 3 Words that Can Transform Your Sex Life - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• The #1 Myth Christian Women Learned about Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexual Response Be Like Your Husband's? - The Forgiven Wife
• Episode 41: 4 Truths About Sex Husbands Should Know - Knowing Her Sexually
• How to Read a Marriage Book | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Must a Better Friendship Come Before Better Sex? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Healthy Life Toolbox series - Calm.Healthy. Sexy.
• 3 Ways a Vibrator Can Help Marital Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife
• Q&A with J: "Is It Okay to Use Sex Toys?" | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Is Anal Sex Okay? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Has the Mainstream Embraced BDSM? Should You? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Solo Masturbation? - The Forgiven Wife
• Setting Boundaries in the Bedroom | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Finding Friends to Support Your Marital Intimacy | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 10 Tips for Talking to Your Husband About Sexual Intimacy - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• God, Sex & Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery

Sponsor

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Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode We understand the struggle wives often have with their body image and how it affects their sexuality. Today we want to revisit this topic to discuss how we can finally embrace our bodies and get comfortable being naked with our husbands.

• Why is having a positive body image such a challenge for women?
• What can we do to combat messages that make us feel worse about ourselves?
• Do we have any responsibility to take care of our bodies?
• Despite how we feel about ourselves, most husbands find their wives beautiful. But what about the wife whose husband criticizes her appearance?
• What advice from your own journey would you give to help a wife embrace a positive body image?

rom the Bible What does God have to say about body image?

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13-14

Resources * Body Image Got You Down? - The Forgiven Wife * Body by God - The Forgiven Wife| * He Can't Really Be Happy with My Body - J's guest post on The Forgiven Wife * Enjoy a Plus-Sized Sex Life - Honeycomb & Spice * 5 Ways to Feel More Attractive – Beauty and Confidence for Real Women - Calm.Healthy.Sexy. * My Husband’s Big Belly Turns Me Off. Am I Shallow? - Bonny's OysterBed7

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About this episode Today we’re talking about something that most women are thinking about at this time of year — taking better care of our health. If you’re like us, you’re probably thinking about getting in shape, eating a healthier diet, getting more sleep, or losing some weight over the next few months.

And your reasons, like ours, are probably pretty straightforward — you want to look better. You want to feel better. You want to have more energy. And you want to avoid getting sick.

But there’s a bonus reason for taking care of your health that you may not know about — improving your sex life.

So let’s talk about some of the ways that good health can lead to better sex and intimacy in your marriage.

From the Bible What does God have to say about this?

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies," 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.

Resources * Episode 7: Exercise and Sex, Sex Chat for Christian Wives * Praying for Sexual Health, Hot, Holy & Humorous * Is Your Sex Life Getting Enough Sleep?, Hot, Holy & Humorous * 4 Ways that Exercise Can Improve Your Health - and Your Sex Life, CalmHealthySexy * 9 Things to Do to Get Ready for a Healthy New Year, CalmHealthySexy * Healthy Living for Busy Women, CalmHealthySexy * A Healthy Weight is not a Skinny Weight, Bonny's OysterBed7 * Help for Vaginal Dryness, Bonny's OysterBed7 * Sleepin' Is Sexy, Bonny's OysterBed7 * A Reminder to Breathe, The Forgiven Wife

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Today we’re talking about higher desire wives. But whether your sexual interest is higher or lower than your husband, you’ll benefit from our conversation.

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Learn more HERE.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about higher desire wives?

• “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:3-4).
• “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9).
• “Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love” (Song of Songs 7:12).
• “All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves” (Song of Songs 3:1-2).

Resources

• Episode 59: Myths We Learned from Pop Culture
• “Dealing with a Low-Desire Husband,” Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God’s Design, J. Parker
• 5 Truths for High-Drive Wives – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• I Love My High Sex-Drive Sisters – OysterBed7
• Q&A with J: When It Comes to Sex, My Husband Says I’m “Too Much” – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• A Prayer for Higher-Drive Wives – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: What If Hubby Is Passive in the Bedroom – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• High-Drive Wives Are Not Crockpots – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• A Letter to the Low-Drive Husband – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Get Off Your Screen & Have Sex with Your Wife - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: Should A Higher Drive Spouse Lower Their Expectations? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Webinar Replays: Understanding Your Sex Drive and Foreplay

• J's Subscription Community for HDWs

• FREE 30-day trial!

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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We’ve talked a lot on this podcast about being able to discuss sex with your husband. And even have "more than one conversation," which is Gaye’s trademark advice. But today, we want to walk through the specifics. Whether it’s actually for small changes, an overhaul of your sex life, or something in between, how can you talk to your husband about sex?

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From the Bible

Gracious words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24

My dove in the clefts of the rock,
in the hiding places on the mountainside,
show me your face,
let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet,
and your face is lovely.
Song of Songs 2:14

Resources

• How to Talk about Sexual Problems with Your Spouse - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Wives, Your Voice Matters (in the Bedroom & Beyond) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 2020 Webinar Series
• 2019 Webinar Series
• Orgasm Webinar
• Submission Doesn't Mean Putting Up with Sexual Misbehavior - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• You Are Not Your Husband's Sex Toy - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Launching the Conversation About Sex in Your Marriage (with Downloadable Sample Chapter of Pillow Talk) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Husbands - How to Help Your Wife Feel Sexy Again - CalmHealthySexy
• How to Talk to Your Husband about Sex - CalmHealthySexy
• Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships by Drs. Cloud/Townsend
• Faithful Counseling (affiliate link)
• The Feeling Wheel - Couples - The Gottman Institute

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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When God created women, He gave us an amazing gift—the clitoris! Its only purpose is our sexual pleasure, but many of us don’t know too much about this part of our body. In this episode, we’re going to help you learn about the wonderful clitoris.

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From the Bible

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
Psalm 139:13-14

Resources

Amphis, CC SA 1.0, via Wikimedia Commons

• Debunking myths about the clitoris | by Jessica Pin | Medium (8,000 nerve endings myth)
• Female orgasms and a 'rule of thumb' – Chicago Tribune (C-V distance)
• Clitoris | Online Etymology Dictionary (etymonline.com)
• Dragonfly Sex Position | Christian-friendly Sex Positions (named by J!)
• Packing the Suitcase Sex Position | Christian-friendly Sex Positions
• CAT Sex Position & Technique | Christian-friendly Sex Positions
• Orgasm Webinar - GREAT VALUE at only $10!
• Unlock Your Orgasm: Through a Christian Lens by Bonny Logsdon Burns

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode In summertime, the living is supposed to be easy, but we often find it just as stressful and scheduled as the rest of the year is. In this episode we talk about simplifying your summer in ways that can improve your sex life.

From the Bible Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind. Ecclesiastes 4:6

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. Ecclesiastes 8:15

Resources * Episode 60: Vacation Sex * 10 Ways to Keep Cool While Heating It Up This Summer - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Vacationing with Hubby: How to Make It Better - Hot, Holy & Humorous * 6 Simple Ways to Slow Down This Summer - Calm.Healthy.Sexy. * How to Have “Vacation Sex” – Even When You’re Not on Vacation - Calm.Healthy.Sexy. * 4 Reasons Wives and Moms Need a Summer Vacation - Calm.Healthy.Sexy. * What Do Your Children Need this Summer – It May Not Be What You Think! - Calm.Healthy.Sexy. * Just Breathe - The Forgiven Wife * Stressed and Overwhelmed? - The Forgiven Wife * Eat, Drink, and Be Merry - The Forgiven Wife

Webinars * 2019-2020 Webinar Bundle $40.00 Add to cart * 2020 Webinar Series $25.00 Add to cart * Orgasm Webinar $10.00 Add to cart * Oral Sex Webinar $10.00 Add to cart * Getting in the Mood Webinar – Replay $10.00 Add to cart * 2019 Webinar Series $15.00 Add to cart * Understanding Her Sex Drive – Webinar Replay $5.00 Add to cart * Foreplay – Webinar $5.00 Add to cart * Understanding Your Sex Drive – Webinar Replay $5.00 Add to cart

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About this episode Bonny and Chris answer questions about older kids knowing that their parents are having sex, responding to a husband's struggle with pornography, and discerning what is okay in the bedroom.

Sponsor https://b-ltx.com/venus-pearls/ From the Bible Matthew 5:28 - But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Song of Solomon 2:3 - Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.

Song of Solomon 4:16 - Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.

Ephesians 6:11-15 - Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

Resources The Joy of Earbuds | The Forgiven Wife

Q&A with J: Avoiding Sex Because the Kids Can Hear - Hot, Holy & Humorous

5 Reasons to Stop Using Porn...Now - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Samson Society

Hope for Wives podcast

Beggar's Daughter

SheRecovery

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About this episode You probably know from your own marriage, or from observing other marriages, that non-sexual interactions can make or break a marriage. Today, we talk about why this is true and how we can leverage it to benefit our marriages.

Sponsors Use coupon code SC10 for 10% off! Click to Learn More This episode was also sponsored in part by Married Dance, a Christian-owned store for marital aids and sex toys.

From the Bible Greet one another with a holy kiss. - 2 Corinthians 13:12

Resources * 15 Simple Ways to Connect with Your Spouse - CalmHealthySexy * 6 Ways to Invest in Your Marriage - CalmHealthySexy * Speak Your Husband's Love Language - CalmHealthySexy * 6 Kinds of Touch Every Marriage Needs - Hot, Holy & Humorous * 5 Kisses You Need to Master - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Recreational Enjoyment Inventory | Marriage Builders, Inc. * Nurture Your Nonsexual Intimacy | The Forgiven Wife * Sensate Focus - PDF * Recovering your sex drive with Sensate Focus Mindful Touching Techniques |Linda Weiner

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Our listeners have varied experiences, and some may value knowing some basic principles from a physical and emotional perspective. So today, we're getting back to the foundations of sexual intimacy, including what we wish we'd known going into marriage.

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From the Bible

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22–23

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. Galatians 5:13

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace to all of you who are in Christ. 1 Peter 5:14

And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 1 John 3:23

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4–7

Song of Songs (the mutuality and intimacy of sex in marriage)

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. 1 Corinthians 10:23

Resources

• Q&A with J: Protecting Yourself from Infection - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Dealing with Erection Problems - The Forgiven Wife
• Should You Track the Frequency of Sex in Your Marriage? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 125: Is Sex a Need?
• Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexual Response Be Like Your Husband's? - The Forgiven Wife
• These 3 Actions Could Bring You to Orgasm - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 5 Times of Day to Make Love - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• You're Not Kissing Enough - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Husbands, How to Help Your Wife Feel Sexy Again - CalmHealthySexy
• How Do You Like to Be Touched? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Female Ejaculation: Is It Real? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Orgasm Webinar
• Unlock Your Orgasm: Through a Christian Lens by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Dear Wife, Sex is for You Too - CalmHealthySexy
• What Are the Real Purposes of Sex? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 43: Rebuilding Her Trust, with Jessica McCleese - Knowing Her Sexually
• Faithful Counseling – get connected with a licensed Christian therapist
• Do I Have To? - The Forgiven Wife
• Setting Boundaries in the Bedroom - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Is Anal Sex Okay? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 5 Ways to Talk About Sex with Your Husband - CalmHealthySexy
• Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations about Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker
• Couples Sharing Exercise (FANOS) (hopecounselingtexas.com)
• Do You Pray for Your Sex Life? - Hot, Holy & Humorous

includes affiliate links

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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With Bonny out again, we’re down one wife today, but we’ve invited not one but two other wives to join us at today’s virtual kitchen table. We’re so happy to have Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer, co-authors of The Flirtation Experiment, with us to discuss how flirting with your husband can lead to greater intimacy in marriage and the bedroom. Be sure to check out their book!

Sponsor

This episode was sponsored by Venus Pearls, from Burns Logsdon Therapeutics.

This episode is also sponsored by Married Dance.

From the Bible

What does the Bible say about flirting?

You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.
Song of Songs 4:9

His mouth is sweetness itself;
he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved, this is my friend,
daughters of Jerusalem.
Song of Songs 5:16

And the rest of Song of Songs!

Resources

• The Flirtation Experiment: Putting Magic, Mystery, and Spark Into Your Everyday Marriage by Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer
• Lisa Jacobson | Club31Women
• Phylicia Masonheimer | Every Woman a Theologian
• Honest Marriage Episode 9 // On Flirtation | Phylicia Masonheimer
• Did You Know That God Loves a Good Romance? - Club31Women
• The Flirtation Experiment - 6 Fun Ways to Rekindle Your Marriage - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• 7 Fun & Flirty Take-Turns Games to Play with Your Spouse - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How to Feel Attractive - Real Beauty and Confidence for Real Women - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Flirt with your Husband (12 SFW text messages) • Bonny's Oysterbed7
• How to Flirt with Your Husband | The Forgiven Wife
• The Misunderstood Science of Sexual Desire | The Cut (Rosemary Basson and responsive desire)
• Identifying a Facial Expression of Flirtation and Its Effect on Men: The Journal of Sex Research: Vol 58, No 2 (tandfonline.com)
• Elvis Presley - Burning Love (hunka hunka ~wink~)
• Episode 41: Flirting with Your Husband

(includes affiliate links)

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode We’ve heard from many women that their sex life sometimes feels boring. Today, we talk about boredom in the bedroom and what to do about it.

Sponsor This episode was sponsored by Venus Pearls, from Burns Logsdon Therapeutics.

From the Bible The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved. – Song of Songs 7:13

Resources * Study on sexual satisfaction linked to understanding sexual growth (University of Toronto study reveals secret to a happy sex life | EurekAlert!) * 2019 Webinar Series - Sex Chat for Christian Wives * 2020 Webinar Series - Sex Chat for Christian Wives * Games & Sex Dice for Couples | Christian sex toy store (marrieddance.com) * Why I Still Wear Lingerie (though My Hubby Doesn't Care) - Hot, Holy & Humorous.com) * How to Feel Sexier - Practical Tips for Wives and Moms * Sexual Variety and Libido in Marriage • Bonny's Oysterbed7 * Episode 98: Overcoming Boredom in the Bedroom * Create the Exciting Sex Life That Wives Want - Hot, Holy & Humorous (by guest Ruth Buezis) * The Comfort Zone | The Forgiven Wife * 4 Ways to Be Present During Sex | The Forgiven Wife * Is the Spark Gone from Your Sex Life? | Honeycomb & Spice * 75 Ideas for Spicing Up Your Sex Life | Honeycomb & Spice * 3 Benefits of Sexual Adventure | Honeycomb & Spice

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Have you heard it said that sex is a need? We have too. Quite a few people talk about how a spouse can and should meet their mate’s sexual needs. Today we’re addressing that underlying assumption: Is sex a need?

Sponsor

This episode is sponsored by Strong Wives - Bonny Burns' Coaching Site.

Also sponsored by Married Dance, a Christian, marriage-focused sex toy store.

From the Bible

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:19

Resources

• Q&A with J: Sexual Wants Vs. Needs - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• THE INTIMACY PYRAMID - Home
• What Is Sex? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: "He Wants It Every Night...Several Times" - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Leviticus 15:19, 28 - 14-Day Break around Menstruation
• Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer
• The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment by Clifford and Joyce Penner

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode In this episode, we're responding to questions from listeners about touching yourself during sex, whether it's okay to have sex just for fun sometimes, and why a young husband might struggle to maintain an erection.

Sponsor This episode is sponsored by Strong Wives - Bonny Burns' Coaching Site.

From the Bible A cheerful heart is good medicine... ~ Proverbs 17:22a

Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise. ~ Jeremiah 17:14

Resources * Solo Masturbation? - The Forgiven Wife * Masturbation: Hands On or Hands Off? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Why Sex Should Be Hot, Holy, and Humorous - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Is Sex a Spiritual Experience in Your Marriage? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Dealing with Erection Problems - The Forgiven Wife * Searchable Database for Certified Sexual Addiction Therapists (CSAT) * Covenant Eyes Blog - information on pornography addictions and sexually problematic behavior * Hope For Wives: Overcoming the Impact of Sexual Betrayal through a Christian Lens - podcast * Understanding Your Sex Drive - Webinar Replay - Sex Chat for Christian Wives * Episode 118: Sex Is For You, Too - previous podcast * RAINN - Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network * Q&A with J: "He Goes Hard and Then Soft" - Hot, Holy & Humorous

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When we started podcasting in February 2017, we didn't know whether we'd get through one year, much less five years. But here we are, celebrating this amazing milestone with a bit of reminiscing, some bloopers, and our wishes and hopes for our fabulous listeners! 

Sponsor

Visit Married Dance Shop

From the Bible

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. - Proverbs 31:25

Resources

• Hope for Wives Podcast
• Strong Wives - Bonny's Coaching Practice
• Healthy Life Toolbox - Gaye's New Site
• Honeycomb & Spice - Chris's Site
• Higher Desire Wives - J's Community
• Webinar Shop Page

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode This is a time of year when a lot of people are talking about taking better care of themselves—things like eating healthier, starting to exercise, getting more sleep, setting goals, or setting boundaries in their lives. But self-care, even though it sounds like a good thing, can be a touchy subject in some Christian circles. Let’s talk about self-care and what role—if any—it should play in the lives of Christian women.

1. What is self-care? What does that term mean to you?
2. Should Christians practice self-care? Did Jesus practice self-care, and what does the Bible say about it?
3. What kinds of self-care should we engage in? What kinds of activities are likely to promote real joy, peace, and health in our lives? What kinds of activities are unlikely or less likely to promote those things?
4. What is something you’re doing to practice self-care this year, and what would you say to our listeners to encourage them to take care of their bodies, minds, spirits, and relationships this year?

Sponsor Visit Position Cards Page Subscribe to their Position of the Week Newsletter at PositionOfTheWeek.com.

This episode was also sponsored in part by Share the Soap. Be sure to sign up for their newsletter to be notified of upcoming promotions.

From the Bible "I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." Jeremiah 31:25

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Genesis 2:2

And while they still did not believe it because of joy and amazement, he asked them, “Do you have anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate it in their presence. Luke 24:41-43

One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. Luke 8:22-23

But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42

So Miriam was confined outside the camp for seven days, and the people did not move on till she was brought back. Numbers 12:15

So I commended enjoyment, because a man has nothing better under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry; for this will remain with him in his labor all the days of his life which God gives him under the sun. Ecclesiastes 8:15

Resources * Made Like Martha: Good News for the Woman Who Gets Things Done by Katie M. Reid * Where Do You Need to Say "No" to Say "Yes" to Your Marriage? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * 5 Simple Ways to Take Care of Yourself Every Day - CalmHealthySexy * 5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself in a Crisis - CalmHealthySexy * Fit. Strong. Healthy. The Busy Woman's Guide to Making Time for Exercise * Just Breathe - The Forgiven Wife

Affiliate notice: This post contains affiliate links, meaning that our ministry receives a small commission with each purchase made through the link that helps cover our costs

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We’re back! It was an eventful December and early January for us and will share what we have been doing.

Today, we’re talking about a new sexual you. What does that mean? What does it look like? And how can you achieve it?

1. What does it mean to have a new sexual you? Are we saying just more sex or something else?
2. What would it look like to make goals for improving sexuality? What kinds of goals can wives set for themselves and their marriage?
3. Once you’ve set some goals, how can you track your progress? What even counts as progress?
4. Let’s wrap up with each of us giving our listeners a word of encouragement. What would you like to say to wives wanting this to be the year they embrace healthy and holy sexuality?

Sponsor

New Year Sale: Save 13% storewide using coupon 2022!

Click HERE to visit Married Dance.

From the Bible

"Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Hebrews 12:14-15.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners." Isaiah 61:1.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)

How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light.
Psalm 36:7-9

Resources

• Episode 109: Your Sexual Self
• Episode 112: Are You Compromising Too Much? (Listener Question)
• Do You Pray for Your Sex Life? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• A Prayer for Your Sexual Intimacy - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Prayer For Sexual Healing - Wild At Heart
• How to Feel Sexier this Year - CalmHealthySexy
• 5 Ways to Feel More Sensual - CalmHealthySexy
• Unlock Your Libido: 52 Week Sex Drive Transformation by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage by J. Parker
• 2019 Webinar Series
• 2020 Webinar Series

Affiliate notice: This post contains affiliate links, meaning that our ministry receives a small commission with each purchase made through the link that helps cover our costs.

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode We can’t leave off the year without providing another wonderful gift guide! We’ll link to others in the show notes, but today we’re focusing on gifts that speak not only to marital intimacy but specifically our five senses.

This idea made us think of the song "Twelve Days of Christmas"! Instead of five golden rings, we’re addressing our five golden senses.

Sponsor GET THE CARDS! Also sponsored by Share the Soap.

And by Strong Wives.

From the Bible What does the Bible say about gift-giving?

Later on, during the wheat harvest, Samson took a young goat as a gift and visited his wife. – Judges 15:1 (Do not—I repeat, do NOT let your husband give you a goat for Christmas! Good heavens. ~ J)

"They were to be days of feasting, rejoicing, and of sending gifts to one another and to the poor." – Esther 9:22b. (This verse refers to Purim, but shows the same generous spirit we want to have at Christmastime.)

Resources Some of the links below are affiliates, meaning that the price remains the same for you, but we receive a small commission if you purchase through the link. These commissions help us to defer our costs. Thanks!

Sight

• Satin Blindfold
• Standing/Floor Mirror
• 100 Dates Scratch-off Poster
• Magnetic (False) Eyelashes
• Sheer Eyelash Robe

Smell

• Essential Oil Blends for Romance, Passion, or Sensuality
• Ball Wash Charcoal Body Wash for Men
• Gift Card for Bath and Body Works
• Mist Your Mood Linen/Aromatherapy Spray

Taste

• Picnic Basket for Two
• Hershey's Chocolate Syrup (7.5 pounds!)
• Restaurant Gift Card
• JO H2O Flavored Lubricant

Hearing

• Metal Chime Ball Necklace
• Romantic or Sensual Music Playlist
• Sony Waterproof Bluetooth Speaker
• White Noise Machine

Touch

• LovePlay Massage Candle
• Liberator Fascinator Throw
• CSFP Sex Position Cards
• Infinite Moon EverSheets

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What are the best things about sex? We compiled a list of ten and hope it will inspire you to pursue better and deeper intimacy in your marriage.

Sponsor

Black Friday sale: 13% off store-wide!

Visit Married Dance HERE.

Also check out Make My Own Soap!
Use coupon code 10off for $10 off the one-pound loaf starter kit.
Use coupon code 20off for $20 off the LOAF starter kit.

From the Bible

What does the Bible say about the best things about sex?

I belong to my beloved,
and his desire is for me.
– Song of Songs 7:10

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. – Ephesians 5:31-32

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:24-25

Resources

• 10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex (webmd.com)
• Unlock Your Orgasm: Through a Christian Lens by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Orgasm Webinar
• Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design by J. Parker
• Episode 58: Orgasm
• Episode 114: Pursuing Playfulness in Sexual Intimacy
• Touchstone: Sex Is Fun, Part 1 | The Forgiven Wife
• Boom-Boom Playtime: Sex Is Fun, Part 2 | The Forgiven Wife
• Sex Is Like Rose-Colored Glasses - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Strategy #10 - Build Sexual Confidence - Physical Confidence - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Strategy #11 - Build Sexual Confidence - Knowledge - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Build Sexual Confidence by Taking Action - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Why Sex Should Be Hot, Holy, and Humorous - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Is Sex a Spiritual Experience in Your Marriage? - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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We want you to understand that sex is for you too! This is an idea we discuss frequently in our episodes, but today it is our focus.

1. Why do we even need to have this conversation?
2. Why do so many women struggle with the idea that sex is for them?
3. Is it okay for sex sometimes to be primarily for one spouse? If so, when and how would that work?
4. What can you actually do to make sex for you as well?

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From the Bible

What does the Bible say about sex being for you too?

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you—
if you find my beloved,
what will you tell him?
Tell him I am faint with love.
– Song of Songs 5:18

Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside,
let us spend the night in the villages.
Let us go early to the vineyards
to see if the vines have budded,
if their blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates are in bloom—
there I will give you my love.
The mandrakes send out their fragrance,
and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
that I have stored up for you, my beloved.
–Song of Songs 7:11-13

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. – Ephesians 5:31-32

Resources

• You Deserve a Great Sex Life Too - CalmHealthySexy
• Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexual Response Be Like Your Husbands? - The Forgiven Wife
• What a Quickie Taught Us About Sexual Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife
• Why "10 Minutes and Lube" Is Horrible Advice - The Forgiven Wife
• How Not to Think About Sex - The Forgiven Wife
• Learn What You Like in Bed - The Forgiven Wife
• Learn to Embrace Your Sexuality - The Forgiven Wife
• Nurture Your Sexual Desire - Honeycomb & Spice
• Wives, Your Voice Matters (in the Bedroom & Beyond) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• High-Drive Wives Are Not Crockpots - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Where Purity Culture Got It Wrong, Let's Get It Right - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs - Wikipedia
• Sexual Desire and Arousal: The Nonlinear Model (Rosemary Basson) - ObG Project
• These 3 Actions Could Bring You to Orgasm - Hot, Holy & Humorous (orgasm gap)
• Unlock Your Orgasm: Through a Christian Lens by Bonny Logsdon Burns (affiliate link)
• Understanding Your Sex Drive – Webinar Replay
• Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations about Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker
• Strong Wives Coaching Support with Bonny Burns
• Faithful Counseling (affiliate link)

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode 1 Thessalonians 5 tells us to rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances. Today we're going to talk about what this means in relation to sex. How can we pray about sex or during sex?

1. Some wives may think it seems a little weird to be thinking about prayer and sex. Why is that?
2. What does the Bible say about prayer and sex?
3. How can we help ourselves get more comfortable talking to God when it comes to sex?
4. What are some ways we can pray ABOUT sex?
5. What can we pray about DURING sex?

Sponsor Enter discount code FCWSPECIAL for 10% off! Visit Share the Soap From the Bible He I came to my garden, my sister, my bride,
I gathered my myrrh with my spice,
I ate my honeycomb with my honey,
I drank my wine with my milk.

Others Eat, friends, drink,
and be drunk with love!

~ Song of Songs 5:1

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6–7

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. ~ James 5:13

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ~ James 1:5

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ~ Thessalonians 5:16-17

Resources * Hot Holy & Humorous's series on Praying for Your Marriage Bed (lots of info & ideas!) * How To Pray For Sexual Intimacy In your Marriage (unveiledwife.com) -guest post by J. Parker * Praying Before, During, and After Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous * I Love Learning to Pray for Sexual Intimacy • Bonny's Oysterbed7 * Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage by J. Parker * "In Bed" (Or, Lessons from a Fortune Cookie) - The Forgiven Wife

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We are down one host with Chris out today, but Gaye, Bonny, and I are here to answer your questions. If you have a question that you’d like us to address, head to our website, click the Ask a Question tab, and shoot us an email.

While we cannot respond to all of your questions, we try to cover a lot of ground and answer what we can. Be sure to go back through our older episodes as well to see if we might have covered a topic you’re wondering about.

1. "[My husband] continues to look at other women and images that are so easily available outside our home. My question is; Am I wrong to be upset by this habit? Are my expectations too high? How do I learn to trust when I feel so betrayed when I see him look? Do I need counseling to truly move past this?"
2. "My husband and I have a great sex life… The problem is that I want sex with him AND I fantasize about other men too.” AND “I have struggled in that last few years with other men popping into my mind during sex… I sometimes just don’t know how to handle a quiet mind so random thing will try to steal my attention/make noise in my mind. Wondering how I can enhance my intimacy with mental focus."
3. "I am definitely the lower drive spouse and I think it’s mostly because I have so much trouble getting turned on. It takes sooo long and we don’t have a lot of extra time with our toddler around. I am struggling the most with talking with my husband during sex… I feel like I’m grasping at that turned on feeling and any little thing pulls me out of it. My husband is very very kind, patient and wanting to do what I need but I feel like I can’t quite do it and I feel like I’m letting him down. I want sex to be good but I can’t get the communication thing down. Any tips?"

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From the Bible

But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night. - Psalm 1:2 (NLT)
I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. - Song of Songs 7:10 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine. - Song of Songs 1:2
His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. - Song of Songs 2:6, 8:3
Resources Bonny Burns, APSAT trained coaching Mindfulness & Meditation During Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous Does Your Husband Look at Other Women? | Hot, Holy & Humorous 4 Ways to Be Present During Sex | Forgiven Wife Yada, Yada, Yada…Talking During Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous Episode 45: Foreplay
Episode 77: How to Ask for What You Want
Episode 90: Getting Him to Touch You Where You Want Getting in the Mood Webinar – Replay Foreplay Webinar – Replay Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations about Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker Dear Wife, You Deserve a Great Sex Life Too | Calm.Healthy.Sexy. Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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Today we’re going to give you a little update on what’s happening with us, talk about what might be happening with you, and then discuss what that might mean for your sex life and your marriage.

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From the Bible

What does the Bible say about when life is overwhelming?

When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought me joy.
– Psalm 94:18-19

But now, this is what the Lord says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
– Isaiah 43:1-2

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." – Matthew 11:28

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7

Resources

• 5 Simple Ways to Take Care of Yourself in a Crisis - CalmHealthySexy
• You Probably Need More Sleep - CalmHealthySexy
• Create Energy in Your Life with Exercise - CalmHealthySexy
• Decide that You are Worth It - HealthyLifeToolbox
• 4 Ways to Be Present During Sex - The Forgiven Wife
• Rest in God - The Forgiven Wife
• Just Breathe - The Forgiven Wife

And remember if you need or want counseling, we recommend*:

*affiliate link

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode We are going to discuss practical ways to help you discover fun and playfulness between you and your husband. We talk a lot about being lighthearted during sexual intimacy, and today we want to spark your creativity.

1. What are some obstacles you can think of that would hinder playfulness in a married couple’s sexual relationship?
2. What would you say to a friend who sees playfulness as a challenge to incorporate into her sexual relationship with her husband?
3. What are some practical ideas to find light-heartedness or create playfulness during intimate moments?
4. What does the Bible say about fun?

Sponsor Click Here to Learn More From the Bible What does God have to say about positions?

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 8:15 (NIV)

A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.. – Proverbs 17:22 (NKJV)

A joyful heart makes a face cheerful, but a sad heart produces a broken spirit. – Proverbs 15:13 (CSB)

Resources * Episode 25: Sex Is Funny - Sex Chat for Christian Wives * Do You Have Inside Jokes About Sex? (intimacyinmarriage.com) – guest post from J. Parker * Lighten Up! And Laugh a Little about Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Does He Make You Laugh? | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Is Joking about Sex Okay? | Hot, Holy & Humorous * What Euphemisms for Sex Do You Use? | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Hugh Jackman Says His Life Motto Is 'Happy Wife, Happy Life' (usmagazine.com) * Sex Games for Couples | Married Dance (affiliate link) * Glow in the Dark Body Paint | Amazon (affiliate link) * Fried Green Tomatoes "Saran Wrap Scene" (with actress Kathy Bates) * Riding the Train | Awaken Love * Give Your Husband a Sexy Surprise | The Forgiven Wife * The Flirtation Experiment: Putting Magic, Mystery, and Spark Into Your Everyday Marriage, by Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer * Episode 34: Food and Sex

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About this episode Today’s episode has a tantalizing title, but what we’re really talking about are positions that work especially well for a wife, ones that don’t work, and positions might give you a better opportunity to orgasm.

1. Let’s revisit some basic concepts first and discuss why sexual positioning matters.
2. What are some of the more comfortable or pleasurable sex positions for the wife?
3. Now how about what Bonny has called #positionfail? That is, positions you or others have tried that Did Not Work Out?
4. What are some sex positions that could provide a good way for a wife to reach climax?

Sponsor Click Here to Learn More From the Bible What does God have to say about positions?

His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. – Song of Songs 2:6, 8:3

Resources * Episode 2: Sex Positions * Episode 57: Listener Questions (includes thoughts on positions) * Episode 87: Trying New Sex Positions * Wedge Pillow – Married Dance (affiliate link) * Why You Should Try This Sex Position | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Sexual Positions in Your Marriage: Hey, I'm a Housewife, Not a Gymnast * Unlock Your Orgasm: Through a Christian Lens by Bonny Logsdon Burns * "Considering Sexual Positions," Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design, by J. Parker * Coital Alignment Technique (CAT), a climax enhancing position * Packing the Suitcase, Christian Friendly Sex Positions * The first to identify the position J is referring to on Christian Friendly Sex Positions by emailing forchristianwives@gmail.com will receive a copy of her book, Hot, Holy & Humorous, AND Bonny's Unlock Your Orgasm. Wow!

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Today, we discuss a question that a reader submitted recently:

How far is too far? How much do I compromise? I know I'm not perfect. I know I could have showed up more in the bedroom and have said as much. But I do try. It's hard as a woman, wife and now mother of 2. He says I don't listen and no one ever listens. So, he demands I do things I do not like. At times, it's not so bad. I can't handle it when he is angry. He gets rough. And then when I ultimately refuse he is so fed up and angry he leaves me feeling like I just will never be able to make him happy. I am feeling hopeless. And I struggle with knowing if I really need to be doing more or if I'm over compromising. I love my husband. We have been together almost 9 years, and I consider him my best friend. However, at times I wonder if we can ever get past this to live a happy marriage.

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about this topic?

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.” – Genesis 4:1

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17

But whether we are at home with the Lord or away from him, we still try our best to please him. – 2 Corinthians 9:10 (CEV)

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. – Luke 8:17

Resources

• Who I am in Christ - pdf
• Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud & John Townsend (affiliate link)
• Setting Boundaries in the Bedroom | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: Boundaries in the Bedroom | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Are You in an Abusive or Destructive Marriage? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Signs of depression in men: What to know (medicalnewstoday.com)
• Faithful Counseling online counselor matching (affiliate link)
• Prevalence of Distress Associated With Difficulty Controlling Sexual Urges, Feelings, and Behaviors in the United States | Psychiatry and Behavioral Health | JAMA Network Open | JAMA Network (10% stat Bonny mentioned)
• Episode 109: Your Sexual Self
• How Should You Pray for Your Spouse? | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode Today we’re talking about feeling comfortable in your body. This is a struggle for so many women, and it affects every area of our lives—inside and outside the bedroom.

1. So, ladies, when we say “getting comfortable with your body,” what does that mean? And why is it so hard to do?
2. What are some of ways that body discomfort shows up in women’s lives?
3. And, of course, feeling uncomfortable with your body tends to show up with a vengeance in the bedroom. Why is that the case, and what impact does body discomfort have on women’s sex lives?
4. What are some things women can do to begin that process and start moving forward?

Sponsor Click Here to Shop at Infinite Moon From the Bible What does God have to say about getting comfortable with your body?

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. - Genesis 1:27

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13-14

Resources * Body by God | The Forgiven Wife * 4 Ways to Be Present During Sex | The Forgiven Wife * A Wife's Breasts Have History! | The Forgiven Wife * Enjoy a Plus-Size Sex Life, Part 1 | Honeycomb & Spice * Enjoy a Plus-Size Sex Life, Part 2 | Honeycomb & Spice * 3 Reasons to Love Your Body | Calm.Healthy.Sexy. * 11 Ways to Love Your Body | Calm.Healthy.Sexy. * How to Get Your Mind and Body on the Same Page | Calm.Healthy.Sexy. * Episode 109: Your Sexual Self * What Not to Wear | Watch Full Episodes & More! - TLC * Body Image: Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves? | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Feeling Beautiful: A Wife's Goal for 2015 | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Real Women Come in All Shapes and Sizes | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Getting Comfortable Being Naked with Your Husband | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Tips for Confidently Baring It All for Your Hubby | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Forget What You Look Like While Making Love | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Grow Old With Me (Remastered 2010) - YouTube (based on Robert Browning poem) or the lovely cover from Mary Chapin Carpenter * Episode 74: Getting Comfortable with Your Body - Sex Chat for Christian Wives

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What do we do in our beds besides sex? Sleep, of course! Today we’re going to talk about the relationship between sex and sleep. 1. A recent study of over 3,400 women noted that those “who did not routinely get restful slumber were nearly twice as likely to report sexual problems, such as lack of desire or arousal.” While researchers don’t know which came first—poor sleep or sex problems—their study provides food for thought. How might poor sleep impact our bodies and thus our sexual functioning? 2. How can regular sexual intimacy promote better sleep? 3. Some people fall asleep right after sex, and some don’t. Which type are you and why do you think that is? 4. It’s not always easy to secure enough sleep! Given the importance of quality sleep for our sexual intimacy and overall health, what tips do we have to help wives get a better’s night sleep?

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about sleep?

There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. – Hebrews 4:9-10

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” – Mark 6:31

In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, Lord,
make me dwell in safety.
– Psalm 4:8

Resources

• Better Sleep May Mean Better Sex for Women | Health News | US News
• Poor sleep nearly doubles risk of sexual dysfunction in women, study says (channel3000.com)
• Is Your Sex Life Getting Enough Sleep? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Sleepin’ is Sexy • Bonny’s Oysterbed7
• 4 Things to Do When You’re Too Tired for Sex – CalmHealthySexy
• Does Sex Wake You Up or Make You Sleepy? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• You Probably Need More Sleep – Here’s How to Get It (calmhealthysexy.com)
• Binaural Beats: Sleep, Therapy, and Meditation (healthline.com)

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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Today we are exploring the term “sexual self.” Your sexual self is an unfolding aspect of who you are, woven into the fabric of your being.

1. What is identity and how would it relate to a sense of a wife’s sexual self? Or in other words, how does your sexual self fit into the whole of who you are as a woman?
2. What affects how comfortable you are with accessing this part of yourself?
3. How do we integrate biblical principles into our sexual selves?
4. What can a wife do to discover or rediscover her sexual self?

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about your sexual self?

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
- Psalm 139:13-14

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. - Genesis 1:27

Resources

• Breathe. Relax. Enjoy. How to Use Essential Oils to Increase Your Sensual Energy - CalmHealthySexy
• Husbands, How to Help Your Wife Feel Sexy - CalmHealthySexy
• What Makes You Feel Sexy? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Learn to Embrace Your Sexuality - The Forgiven Wife
• Has Your Sexuality Fallen Asleep? - The Forgiven Wife
• Park Your "Sexy" in the Garage - The Forgiven Wife
• Is Sex a Spiritual Experience in Your Marriage? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 29: Lies Women Believe, Part 1 - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Episode 30: Lies Women Believe, Part 2 - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Get Your Sexy On - The Forgiven Wife
• 10 Things You Can Do to Feel Sexy This Weekend - The Forgiven Wife
• Praying Before, During, and After Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Unlock Your Orgasm by Bonny Logsdon Burns is coming soon! Follow her on Amazon here.
• Email Bonny about her test panel for vaginal dryness formulation

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode Today we’re going to talk about what prioritizing sex means, what it doesn’t mean, what gets in the way of it, and what it might look like in the lives and marriages of busy women.

1. What does it mean to prioritize sex? And is that the phrase you think we should use, or should it be something broader – like prioritize sex and intimacy? And why is it important? Or is it important?
2. On the flip side, what doesn’t it mean to prioritize sex?
3. It’s fairly typical for sex to become less of a priority as a couple moves beyond the early years of marriage. When that happens, what’s typically going on? What are some of the things that get in the way of making sex a priority?
4. What might “making sex a priority” look like in the marriages of busy wives and moms? And what are some of the things they can do to make that a reality in their lives and marriages?

Sponsor Click Here to Learn More! Click here to visit Faithful Counseling and learn about getting matched to an licensed online counselor who is also a practicing Christian.

From the Bible What does God have to say about prioritizing sex?

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:7-9

Resources * You Deserve a Great Sex Life Too - CalmHealthySexy * 3 Words that Can Improve Your Sex Life - CalmHealthySexy * Picking Your Priorities (Sex Should Be One of Them) | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Is the Spark Gone from Your Sex Life? Honeycomb & Spice * Are You in the Mood for Sex? The Forgiven Wife * Penis sleeve (affiliate link)

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For many years, there were very few resources for Christians who wanted to learn how to have a healthy sex life. Now Christians can find more and more books, courses, and videos to help them. It's great to have choices, but sometimes it's hard to know whether or not a particular resource is good.

Today we're joined by Phylicia Masonheimer. She encourages women to discern God's truth and live out their faith boldly in every area of their lives—including the bedroom. We talk about why it's difficult to discern which resources are biblical and helpful, what to consider when evaluating a resource, and whether to use a secular resource and then share a few recommendations.

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From the Bible

Ephesians 5 NIV

What does God have to say about evaluating resources?

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise. – Psalm 111:10

In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. – Hebrews 5:12-14

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. – Colossians 2:8

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. – James 1:5

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. – James 3:17-18

Teach me, Lord, the way of your decrees,
that I may follow it to the end.
Give me understanding, so that I may keep your law
and obey it with all my heart.
Direct me in the path of your commands,
for there I find delight.
Turn my heart toward your statutes
and not toward selfish gain.
Turn my eyes away from worthless things;
preserve my life according to your word.
– Psalm 119:33-37

Resources

• Phylicia Masonheimer's website
• Verity Podcast with Phylicia Masonheimer
• Sexuality | Phylicia Masonheimer
• How to Read a Marriage Book | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Are You in an Abusive or Destructive Marriage? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman & Nan Silver
• The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, & Stonewalling | The Gottman Institute
• Leslie Vernick ministry
• The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope by Leslie Vernick
• Christian Cosmo: The Sex Talk You Never Had by Phylicia Masonheimer
• Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations about Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker
• Virgin Bride Guidebook: Wedding Night Answers by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Unlock Your Libido: 52-Week Sex Drive Transformation by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Awaken Love: The Truth About Sex that will Transform Your Marriage by Ruth Buezis
• The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment by Clifford & Joyce Penner
• Enjoy!: The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women by Joyce & Clifford Penner
• Authentic Intimacy – Juli Slattery ministry
• Rethinking Sexuality: God's Design and Why It Matters by Juli Slattery
• Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage by Ed & Gaye Wheat

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode The marriage relationship overall can impact a wife’s sexual interest. Having a good marriage with intimacy in many areas can make it easier to want and enjoy sex. In this episode, we’re going to talk about things you can do in the area of nonsexual intimacy that can have a positive impact on your sex life.

Sponsor Click here to learn more about Revival AI’s investment opportunity From the Bible What does God have to say about improving your marital relationship?

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
– Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Resources * Praying Together for Your Marriage | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Could You Use Some Marriage Humor? | Hot, Holy & Humorous * FANOS – A Couples Sharing Exercise * Couples Quiz – The 5 Love Languages® * Episode 101: Enjoying Sex, with Joyce Penner – Sex Chat for Christian Wives * Wives, Your Voice Matters (in the Bedroom & Beyond) | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Give Him the Gift of Happiness | Hot, Holy & Humorous * 25 Ways to Have Fun with Your Spouse – CalmHealthySexy * How to Add Some Adventure to Your Marriage – CalmHealthySexy * Nurture Your Nonsexual Intimacy – The Forgiven Wife * Tending the Garden – The Forgiven Wife * Respect Dare archives – The Forgiven Wife * Faithful Counseling – online counseling (affiliate link)

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In this episode, we answer a few of your questions.

1. “What are other ways to relax and enjoy my husband guilt free?”
2. “I don't like feeling like it’s just sex.... Do I have a block? Was I wrong to be upset? How do I get myself [past] feeling like it's cold and not love?”
3. “I was hoping you could share some wisdom of what it's like moving in with your husband for the first time… what to expect…how to talk to one another about our soon to be sex life, and tips for a soon to be pastor's wife.”
4. “What are some positive resources on sex and marriage that are geared toward men? I have been able to find good resources for myself, but my fiancé has not."

If you want to submit a question for a future episode, click on Ask a Question in the menu on our website and submit your query.

Sponsor

Click to learn more about Revival AI.

Also sponsored by Christian Friendly Sex Positions Deck of Cards.

From the Bible

"All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.'" 1 Peter 5:5 (NIV)

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 5:21 (NIV)

Resources

• Mindfulness & Meditation During Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• The Gift of Sex by Clifford & Joyce Penner
• Enjoy!: The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women by Joyce Penner
• Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making? by Linda Dillow & Juli Slattery
• Intimacy Ignited: Discover the Fun and Freedom of God-Centered Sex by Joseph & Linda Dillow and Peter & Lorraine Pintus
• Unlock Your Libido: 52-Week Sex Drive Transformation by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Intimacy Revealed by J. Parker
• Do You Pray for Your Sex Life? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• A Prayer for Your Sexual Intimacy | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Wives, Your Voice Matters (in the Bedroom & Beyond) | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• The Small Stuff Can Drive You Crazy | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How Much Should You Learn about Sex before the Wedding Night? | Hot, Holy & Humorous (guest post from Heather & Eric Viets)
• What I Wish I'd Known Before the Wedding Night | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations about Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker
• Virgin Bride Guidebook: Wedding Night Answers by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Episode 93: Newlywed Tips, with Ngina Otiende
• Knowing Her Sexually (KHS) Ministry (w/Chris Taylor & J. Parker)
• The Generous Husband | Daily rants on being a better husband (w/Paul Byerly)
• The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex by Clifford Penner
• Awaken Love Men's Edition - Awaken-Love
• Java with Juli podcast (w/Juli Slattery)
• Understanding Her Sex Drive - Webinar Replay - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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Take the Survey

As mentioned in the episode, Chris Taylor of Honeycomb & Spice is doing a survey on chronic illness and sex. We'd appreciate you taking the survey, so that she can address this subject well.

Click the link: https://tinyurl.com/chronic-survey

Or scan the QR code:

About the Episode

How often should a married couple have sex? You might think this would be an easy question to answer, but we think it’s going to take a whole episode.

1. How do seasons of life affect the frequency of lovemaking, and what range of frequency do you think is appropriate for each season?
2. What other factors can affect frequency?
3. What does research say about consistent sexual intimacy?
4. How should you and your husband negotiate frequency?

Sponsor

Share the Soap has put together a special treat box especially for listeners of Sex Chat for Christian Wives. Click on the image above to learn more—and use coupon code chat21 for an extra bath soap jewel!

Click here to get the free recipe for a personal lubricant/sensual massage oil.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about the frequency of sex?

Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. - 1 Corinthians 7:5

If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married. - Deuteronomy 24:5

Resources

• Gaslighting - Partner Hope
• Deconstructing Gaslighting with Sarah Morales
• DARVO (a type of gaslighting)
• The 10,000-hour rule - original research, concept popularized in Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell (though J recommends The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle for a more thorough treatment), and research-based challenges to the 10,000-hour rule
• Episode 95: How Does Depression Affect Sex?
• Stop Hooking Up In Your Marriage | Shaunti Feldhahn - guest post by Juli Slattery
• Episode 101: Enjoying Sex, with Joyce Penner
• More Sex Makes Us Happy, But Once A Week May Be Enough : Shots - Health News : NPR
• 10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex (webmd.com)
• Here's How Much Sex Couples Are Having Per Week (theknot.com)
• How Often Should You Have Sex? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Vitamin E suppositories
• Your Husband’s Libido May Not Be What You Think - The Forgiven Wife
• Unlock Your Libido by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Virgin Bride Guidebook by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Q&A with J: Should A Higher Drive Spouse Lower Their Expectations? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 8 Ways to Stay Intimate Even When Life Gets in the Way of Sex - The Forgiven Wife

affiliate links included

Click Here to Check Out the Bundle! GREAT VALUE.

Visit Our Website: forchristianwives.com

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titivate (v). – to make a person or thing neater or more attractive (Merriam-Webster).

To titivate is to make small enhancing changes or to make oneself look attractive. For some women, titivation is a daily habit. For others of us, it takes intention to remember to do it now and then.

1. Let’s start by talking about why wives might titivate in the first place.
2. What are some reasons we might let titivation go?
3. How does titivation spill over into our sex lives?
4. What are some things women can do to enhance their appearance?

Sponsor

Share the Soap has put together a special treat box especially for listeners of Sex Chat for Christian Wives. Click on the image above to learn more—and use coupon code chat21 for an extra bath soap jewel!

From the Bible

What does God have to say about titivating?

...she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics." - Esther 2:12 (and see Esther 2:1-18)

...as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. - Isaiah 61.10

Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, but rather what is inside the heart—the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. - 1 Peter 3:3-4 (CSB)

Resources

• 6 Simple Ways to Feel More Confident - CalmHealthySexy
• How to Feel More Sensual - CalmHealthySexy
• The Holderness Family - Lazy Pants
• Feel Beautiful: "Fight The Frump"! | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why I Still Wear Lingerie (though My Hubby Doesn't Care) | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Amazon.com: Breast Petals (aka nipple covers)
• Southern Grooming - The Forgiven Wife
• Amazon.com: Teeth Whitening Kit with Strips

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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There are a lot of resources about sex now, some great and some terrible. But often, resources have some important truths, some debatable points, and some myths. Today we want to talk about what really matters—the foundational points we want wives to know about sex.

Sponsor

Click here to visit our sponsor (affiliate link).

From the Bible

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Resources

• Dear Wife, You Deserve a Great Sex Life Too - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• 3 Words that Can Transform Your Sex Life - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexual Response Be Like Your Husband's? - The Forgiven Wife
• The #1 Myth Christian Women Learned about Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How to Read a Marriage Book | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Must a Better Friendship Come Before Better Sex? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Healthy Life Toolbox series - Calm.Healthy. Sexy.
• 3 Ways a Vibrator Can Help Marital Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife
• Q&A with J: "Is It Okay to Use Sex Toys?" | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Is Anal Sex Okay? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Has the Mainstream Embraced BDSM? Should You? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Solo Masturbation? - The Forgiven Wife
• Setting Boundaries in the Bedroom | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Finding Friends to Support Your Marital Intimacy | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com.

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Sex therapist and educator Joyce Penner joins us to talk about learning to enjoy sex more. Why do some women have a hard time seeing sexual intimacy as a gift? And what can these women do to pursue the enjoyment of sex with their husbands?

Sponsor

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From the Bible

What does God have to say that can help us better enjoy sex?

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. – 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, NIV

I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. – Song of Songs 7:10

The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-4, The Message

Resources

The resources below include affiliate links that earn us a small commission when you use the link to make a purchase.

Nurture Your Non-Sexual Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife
You're Not Kissing Enough | Hot, Holy & Humorous
Why Kissing Is So Intimate for Her - Knowing Her Sexually
The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment
Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women
The Married Guy's Guide to Great Sex
Restoring the Pleasure
Formula for Intimacy - free download from Joyce Penner

Resources for Adult Children of Alcoholics:
Focus on the Family
Only You Forever
Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs
Love and Life Toolbox
Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families: Friel Ph.D., John C., Friel M.A., Linda D. (older book, but still a good resource)

You can find more resources at Joyce's website, Passionate Commitment.

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode Today is our 100th Episode! On this special episode, we share what we do when we're not talking about sex, what ministry projects we're working on, and nearly half of a 100 sex tips list we ask our listeners help us complete.

Sponsor Infinitemoon.com

From the Bible What does God have to say about our ministry (and yours)?

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. - 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Resources * Unraveling | The Forgiven Wife (in which Chris shares about prayer shawls) * Sisters in Crime (SinC) writers' group * Healthy Life Toolbox - Calm.Healthy.Sexy. * Knowing Her Sexually - for husbands * The Woman I Am: A Lesson in Self-Grace | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Honeycomb & Spice * Strong Wives * Episode 38: A Conversation About Porn (Part 1) - Sex Chat for Christian Wives * Episode 39: A Conversation About Porn (Part 2) - Sex Chat for Christian Wives * Episode 40: Healing after Porn Discovery - Sex Chat for Christian Wives * APSATS (The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists) * ICF (International Coaching Federation)

Click here for our BINGO card!

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About this episode Today we’re talking about Valentine’s Day. It’s coming up soon, and women feel all kinds of different things about it. Some women love it, some hate it, and some feel kind of ambivalent about it. And it plays out differently in different marriages. So, we talk about it and come up with some ideas for making it fun and romantic for all kinds of couples and marriages.

Sponsor Infinitemoon.com

From the Bible What does God have to say about Valentine’s Day? (Not much, but a whole lot about love.)

Do everything in love. – 1 Corinthians 16:14
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. – Colossians 3:14
We love because he first loved us. – 1 John 4:19

Resources * Do One Thing for Your Husband on Valentine’s Day – Calm.Healthy.Sexy. * Best Couple’s Gifts for Valentine’s Day – Calm.Healthy.Sexy. * Sensual Massage with Essential Oils – Calm.Healthy.Sexy. * How Love Looks – The Forgiven Wife * Get Ready for Valentine’s Day – The Forgiven Wife * Romance His Socks Off! – The Forgiven Wife * Take Charge of Date Night – The Forgiven Wife * Make Valentine’s Day Great for Both of You – Honeycomb & Spice * Valentine’s Day for the Rest of Us | Hot, Holy & Humorous * 6 Worst Things You Can Give for Valentine’s Day | Hot, Holy & Humorous * 9 Best Places to Get Heart Shaped Pizza 2021 – Country Living * Yipick from Homie Depot * Could You Use Some Marriage Humor? | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Show Her Off dance program (at-home lessons) – affiliate link * A Marital Intimacy Playlist | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Bonny’s OysterBed7 Bedroom Soundtracks * Geocaching * The Generous Wife * Married Is Great T-shirts & Hoodies – affiliate link * The 5 Love Languages

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With people staying home more than ever these days, monotony is overwhelming our lives. However, there is one area of your life than can certainly move from monotonous to mind-blowing with just a few simple changes.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we are talking about boredom in the bedroom and what can be done to generate more passion in your experience.

1. What can lead to boredom in the bedroom?
2. What can a wife do to move toward more energy, excitement, interest, and pleasure in the bedroom?
3. What is boredom possibly masking?
4. What are some possible solutions if there are deeper issues?

Sponsor

CLICK HERE TO SHOP OR LEARN MORE!

Specific products mentioned in the show:

• Sugar Sak Vibrator Storage (pink satin bag)
• Liberator Decor Fascinator Throw
• Liberator Wedge Sex Pillow Positioning Aid

FAITHFUL COUNSELING

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Sponsor links are affiliate links, with purchases providing a small commission to our podcast.

From the Bible

What does God have to say about boredom in the bedroom?

There the mandrakes give off their fragrance,
and the finest fruits are at our door,
new delights as well as old,
which I have saved for you, my lover.
Song of Songs 7:13

Resources

• The Macaroni and Cheese Lesson: Stepping Your Toes Outside Your Comfort Zone | The Forgiven Wife
  • How Sex is Like Peanut Butter (for the low-libido spouse) | Bonny's Oysterbed7
  • The Coconut Cake of Marriage and Sexual Intimacy | Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
  • He Doesn't Wanna, But I Do! Be the Brownie | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How to Feel More Sensual | Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Sensual Massage with Essential Oils | Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Episode 95: How Does Depression Affect Sex? | Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Create the Exciting Sex Life That Wives Want | Hot, Holy & Humorous - with guest Ruth Buezis
• 3 Benefits of Sexual Adventure | Honeycomb & Spice
• 2019 Webinar Series | Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• 2020 Webinar Series | Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode Sometimes we need to hit the reset button with sexual intimacy. Maybe it’s not been going well lately. Maybe it’s never been good in your marriage. Maybe you only recently realized how important sexual intimacy is to your relationship. How can you start over or at least get a fresh start in some part of sex that hasn’t been ideal?

1. Why do many wives feel they need a fresh start with the sex in their marriage?
2. How can we begin to set a new tone or build new habits for sexual intimacy?
3. What are some obstacles wives might face when they try to do something different?
4. What are the long-term benefits of getting that fresh start?
5. Are there any promises from God we can rely on as we try to reset our sex life?

Sponsor Married Dance Shop at Married Dance From the Bible What does God have to say about fresh starts?

For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
- Isaiah 41:13

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. - Isaiah 43:19

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm[a]—
my great army that I sent among you.
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.
- Joel 2:25-26

Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” - Luke 18:27

They remembered that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer. - Psalm 78:35

Resources * Resolution Week: "And Now for Something Completely Different..." | Hot, Holy & Humorous * New Year, New Hope for Marriage and Beyond | Hot, Holy & Humorous * Resolutions, Fresh Starts, Whatever | OysterBed7 * A New Sex Drive for a New Decade | OysterBed7 * Goals to Grow Your Sexual Interest | OysterBed7 * Can "Fake It to Make It" Really Work with Sex? | The Forgiven Wife * I Worked on Sex, and Then He Got Angry | The Forgiven Wife

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Bonny, Chris, Gaye, and J have a list of gifts that can help you learn, love, and laugh in your marriage!

Sponsor

Click to visit the website and shop!

Also sponsored by Share the Soap. Learn more about their romance set!

From the Bible

What does God have to say about gift-giving?

A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great. - Proverbs 18:16

On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. - Matthew 2:1

Gift List

All links below are affiliate links that earn us a commission when you use them to do your shopping.

LEARN

• Pillow Talk (J. Parker)
• Intimacy Ignited (Pintus & Dillow)
• Tabletopics Couples: Questions to Start Great Conversations
• Sex Chat for Christian Wives webinar bundle
• Knowing Her Sexually Webinar bundle (for husbands)
• The Gift of Sex (Penner)
• Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women (Penner)
• Rethinking Sexuality; God's Design and Why It Matters (Slattery)
• Online Marriage Retreat (Coupon Code for 10% off; enter PARKER10, apply, then check out)
• Online Affair Recovery Course: Journey to Restoration (Use Coupon Code SW5 for $5 off and to track sales for Bonny :) ).
• Sex Position Cards

LOVE

• Sliquid Naturals – Soul Coconut Oil Intimate Moisturizer
• Liberator Wedge Pillow
• Nadine Black Lace Babydoll from Honoring Intimates
• Married Dance vibrator pilot program
• Married Dance penis ring pilot program
• Doc Johnson Good Head Deep Throat Spray
• HandiPop Edible Hand Job Massage Gel
• Liberator Throw
• Partner Multifun Vibrator
• Stocking Stuffers: Tingly Lip Balm & "Gum Job" Oral Candy Teeth Covers
• Whisper Sensual Essential Oil Blend
• Cozy Cotton Weighted Blanket

LAUGH

• Aqua Love Notes Waterproof Notepad (last year)
• Play Pens Dark & Milk Chocolate Body Pens 2 Pack
• Cookie Sutra with “stallion style” cookie cutter
• Sock Monkey Kama Sutra
• Dick Van Dyke series
• Picnic Backpack for 2
• Ancestry DNA test
• How I Survived game
• Black Light
• Glow-in-the-dark Body Paint
• Cinnamon & Ylang Ylang Foam Bath

Check out our 2019 list in Episode 72: The Ultimate Sexy Gift Guide.

Just for Our Listeners

It's Christmas Eve, and Grace still hasn't seen a present under the Christmas tree from her husband. When Todd announces there is no present coming, she feels snubbed, not realizing that he's got a different surprise planned. But is his gift what she really wants? Or even what she needs?

Inspirational Short Story, 4000 words.

FREE through January 1, 2021, with coupon code WIVES

And Don't Forget Our Resources

• Christmas Coupons for Him - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Christmas Gift Coupons for Her - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Behind Closed Doors: Five Marriage Stories by J. Parker
• Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage by J. Parker
• Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design by J. Parker
• Beatitudes in the Bedroom: Embracing the Blessings for Your Marriage Bed by J. Parker
• Breathe. Relax. Enjoy. How to Use Essential Oils to Increase Your Sensual Energy by Gaye Christmus
• Calm. Healthy. Happy. - 17 Simple Ways to Slow Down, Feel Great, and Create Your Best Life as a Woman, Wife, and Mom by Gaye Christmus
• Fit. Strong. Healthy. The Busy Woman's 30-Minute Guide to Making Time for Exercise by Gaye Christmus
• Quick. Healthy. Delicious. Simple Meal Solutions for Busy Moms and Hungry Families by Gaye Christmus
• Unlock Your Libido: 52-Week Sex Drive Transformation by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Virgin Bride Guidebook: Wedding Night Answers by Bonny Logsdon Burns
• Honeycomb & Spice Community, hosted by Chris Taylor
• Intimacy Mentoring, from Chris Taylor
• KHS (Knowing Her Sexually) Community for husbands, hosted by Chris Taylor and J. Parker
• Higher Desire Wives Community, hosted by J. Parker

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode Thanks for joining us at Sex Chat for Christian Wives. Today we’re going to talk about something that affects more than 264 million people around the world–depression.

1. People sometimes hear the word “depression” and think it just means that someone is sad a lot or that they are weak. So let’s start by talking about what depression is—and maybe what it is not.
2. What kind of impact does depression have on our sex lives?
3. How can our faith help us when depression affects our marriage?
4. What can we do to address depression or soften the impact it has on our marriage and sex life?

Sponsors From the Bible Anxiety weighs down the heart,
but a kind word cheers it up.
Proverbs 12:25

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11:28

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

Resources Depression (major depressive disorder) – Mayo Clinic
Is Depression Impacting Your Sexual Intimacy? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: Sex and Antidepressants – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Is Seasonal Depression Impacting Your Marriage? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Is the Oral Contraceptive Pill Associated with Depression?- A Synopsis of The Impact of OC Pills on Mood – Psych Scene Hub
Sexual Intimacy and Depression – The Forgiven Wife

And don’t forget…

The Resource You Need to Reach or Amplify Your Orgasm—for only $10! Buy or Learn More

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We answer listener questions, specifically:

• Could you talk about the tilted uterus? I was told I have one and would like to know more about it.
• My husband is currently taking classes and working long days. He practically comes home to sleep and then leaves for school and work the next day. This has made it a lot harder to make time for us and especially sex. I try to do things for him in hopes that it will alleviate some of his stress What can I do to make sex happen? We used to be Jackrabbits and now I'm lucky if we have sex once a week. It makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.
• I want to ask you about sex during my period. For me, sex helps with my cramps. However, my husband does not like intercourse at that time due to the flow. The other part of this is that my husband struggles with the desire to view pornography. So, during my period, he doesn’t want to have regular intercourse, but he wants me to give him oral sex to help him with his temptation. I’m seeking wisdom in how to please my husband and support him in his battle with pornography but not lose myself in my frustrations and sometimes selfish desires I have as a young bride.

Sponsors

Use coupon code FCW for 20% off your first purchase.
Existing customers can use coupon code FCWspecial for 15% off.

Carefree Organics was established in 2013 by a boy mama of 3 to provide clean products for all concerned mothers and entire families. In starting small, the company has gone from just 5 basic products to high-end skincare, a baby/spa line, hair care, new cosmetics, supplements, and even mood-enhancing aromatherapy. There is truly something for everyone. Check out carefreeorganics.com and use coupon code FCW20 for 20% off one purchase.

From the Bible

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. - Philippians 2:3-4

Resources

Sex Positions for Women with a Tilted Uterus - Christian Friendly Sex Positions
A Key to Understanding Orgasm: Deep Spots - OysterBed7
Can Sex Help Your Spouse’s Work Stress? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Why Stress Affects Sex And What To Do About It - OysterBed7
5 Times of Day to Make Love - Hot, Holy & Humorous
How Do You Manage Sex When Your Schedules Are Different? - The Forgiven Wife
Is Porn Use an Addiction (and Does It Even Matter)? - The Forgiven Wife
Episode 38: A Conversation About Porn (Part 1)
Episode 39: A Conversation About Porn (Part 2)|
Episode 40: Healing after Porn Discovery
Samson Society
Covenant Eyes Internet Filtering Software (affiliate link)
Celebrate Recovery
Strong Wives Rise - Facebook Group (run by Bonny Burns)
"First Steps To Healing From Porn Discovery by Bonny Burns" - part of the Awesome Marriage Online Affair Recovery Course

And don't forget...

The Resource You Need to Reach or Amplify Your Orgasm—for only $10!

Click Here to Sign Up or Learn More!

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode Today, we have special guest Ngina Otiende of Intentional Today, and we're talking about...

• Our most vivid memories of our weddings or first few months of marriage.
• When did reality set in that marriage might take more work than you initially thought?
• Now, bringing the conversation back to our mission of speaking candidly about God’s design of sexual intimacy, what is one newlywed obstacle you can speak to and give advice in overcoming?
• What is one piece of sexually intimate advice you’d give to a bride today?

Sponsors Buy or Learn More Share the Soap
sharethesoap.com Newlywed Set Prepared Especially for Our Listeners

Use coupon code FCW for 20% off your first purchase.
Existing customers can use coupon code FCWspecial for 15% off.

Carefree Organics Skincare Carefree Organics was established in 2013 by a boy mama of 3 to provide clean products for all concerned mothers and entire families. In starting small, the company has gone from just 5 basic products to high-end skincare, a baby/spa line, hair care, new cosmetics, supplements, and even mood-enhancing aromatherapy. There is truly something for everyone. Check out carefreeorganics.com and use coupon code FCW20 for 20% off one purchase.

Use FCW20 for 20% off your purchase.

https://www.carefreeorganics.com From the Bible "...Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

And that is what some of you were**.

But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." ~ 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Resources Episode 32: Advice For Our Newlywed Selves
Free Access To "Subscriber Only" Resources - Ngina Otiende
How To Navigate Conflict In Marriage - Ngina Otiende
What Newlyweds Should Know About Married Sex - Bonny's OysterBed7
A Letter To My Newlywed Self (Age 20) - Bonny's OysterBed7
A Letter to My Newlywed Self: Age 25 - Hot, Holy & Humorous
What I Wish I’d Known Before the Wedding Night - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Wedding Tips for Bride - Hot, Holy & Humorous store item

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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We are so privileged today to have Shaunti Feldhahn—social researcher, bestselling author, and popular speaker—pulling up a chair at our virtual kitchen table.

Sponsor

Click Here to Purchase or Learn More

Click Here to Visit Our Sponsor

Use coupon code FCW for 20% off your first purchase

Click Here to Visit Carefree Organics Skincare

Use coupon code FCW20 for 20% off one purchase

And not mentioned in the show, but check out this Online Marriage Retreat, with J. Parker's 5 Steps to Better Sex.

Click to Buy or Learn More Use code PARKER10 (click Apply) for an additional 10% off From the Bible
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

I made a covenant with my eyes
not to look lustfully at a young woman.
Job 31:1 Resources * For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn * Through a Man's Eyes: Helping Women Understand the Visual Nature of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn * Do Our Yoga Pants Make Men Sin? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * On “Pigs,” Good Men, and the Difference - Hot, Holy & Humorous * The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference by Shaunti Feldhahn * The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths about Marriage and Divorce by Shaunti Feldhahn * 10 Takeaways from the Spark Marriage Conference - Hot Holy & Humorous * 4 Things Your Husband Wants from You in Bed - Hot, Holy & Humorous * 7 Ways Screen Sex Is Not Like Real Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Thriving in Love and Money: 5 Game-Changing Insights about Your Relationship, Your Money, and Yourself by Shaunti Feldhahn * What Is Sexual Interest and Why Should I Care? - OysterBed7 * 25 Ways to Improve Sexual Interest - OysterBed7 * Budget Minded Gifts For Her (Pursuit) - OysterBed7 * A Moment of Hard Truth - The Forgiven Wife * To Duty Sex—and Beyond! - The Forgiven Wife * Can “Fake It to Make It” Really Work with Sex? - The Forgiven Wife * Why “10 Minutes and Lube” Is Horrible Advice - The Forgiven Wife

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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Today we’re talking about sensuality and how wives can feel more sensual. What does it mean to feel sensual? Why can it be difficult, and why does it matter? And what can you do to feel more sensual yourself?

Sponsors Share the Soap sharethesoap.com Sensual Set Prepared Especially for Our Listeners

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about sensuality?

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 8:15)

How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume more than any spice! (Song of Songs 4:10)

And the rest of Song of Songs!

Resources

• 5 Ways to Feel More Sensual – CalmHealthySexy
• Essential Oils for Sex and Intimacy – CalmHealthySexy
• Sensual Essential Oil Blends – CalmHealthySexy
• How to Give Your Spouse a Sensual Massage – CalmHealthySexy
• What Makes You Feel Sexy? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Use Scent to Enhance Your Sex Life – The Forgiven Wife
• Eat, Drink, and Be Merry – The Forgiven Wife

Orgasm Webinar on October 15

All 3 Webinars

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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It’s a common scenario we hear: She wants him to touch her body in various places, and he wants to focus on the “good bits.” So today, we’re going to talk about where you’d like to be touched, besides your special lady-parts, and how you can get your husband to spend more time and attention there.

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about touching and kissing her body?

She
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine.
Song of Songs 1:2

His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me.
Song of Songs 2:6, 8:3

A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
Proverbs 5:19

Resources

• How Do You Like to Be Touched? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why woman are different from men and vice versa - Amanda Gore
• The Most Sensitive Spots on Men (and on You) - Women's Health (study of college men and women)
• You’re Not Kissing Enough - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Open Your Mind and Take Off Your Shoes - The Forgiven Wife
• Episode 78: Breasts and How They Impact Female Sexuality
• 7 Ways to Communicate with Your Husband About Sex
• How to Talk with Him About Sex
• Feet and Sex (Pedicures link to arousal?) - OysterBed7
• "Dirty Dice" - Married Dance (despite the name, it's simply a game to encourage touching/kissing various body parts - affiliate link)
• Learn What You Like in Bed - The Forgiven Wife

Click to Learn More.

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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We want to encourage you to just think of one thing you could do to improve your sex life. To give you some ideas, we're each going to share one thing we did to improve our sex life. Sponsor

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about our tips?

For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
He has removed our sins as far from us
as the east is from the west.
Psalm 103:11-12 (NLT)

I belong to my beloved,
and his desire is for me.
Song of Songs 7:10

Resources

• Entering Marriage with Sexual Baggage - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: How Can I Forgive Myself for My Past? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Has Your Previous Promiscuity Impacted Your Marriage? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why You Feel Worse Than He Does about the Premarital Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Dealing with Sexual Baggage - The Forgiven Wife
• A Husband's Emotional Need - The Forgiven Wife
• I Thought Sex Was Just for My Husband. Here’s What Changed My Mind. - The Forgiven Wife
• Lessons Learned from Premarital Sex - The Forgiven Wife
• How Not to Think About Sex - The Forgiven Wife
• If You Make Just One Change . . . - The Forgiven Wife
• Dear Wife, You Deserve a Great Sex Life Too - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• 5 Questions to Ask about Your Sexual Intimacy - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Click to Learn More!

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode There is some really bad sex advice out there, most of it because the people giving the advice don’t know any better themselves. Today we’re sharing with you the worst sex advice we’ve personally received, but also the best sex advice we’ve received.

1. Okay, ladies, what is the worst sex tip you have gotten either from a resource or an individual?
2. Taking a positive perspective, how can we correct the record? That is, how should each of us and women out there respond when we encounter bad advice?
3. What is the best sex tip you’ve ever gotten from some resource or someone?

Sponsor Click to Learn More From the Bible What does God have to say about receiving advice?

• The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. – Proverbs 12:19
• But Jehoshaphat also said to the king of Israel, “First seek the counsel of the Lord.” – 1 Kings 22:5

Resources * Episode 87: How to Talk to Friends About Sex * The Experts Who Are Damaging Your Sexual Intimacy – Hot, Holy & Humorous * How to Read a Marriage Book – Hot, Holy & Humorous * Finding a Good Gynecologist – Hot, Holy & Humorous * The #1 Myth Christian Women Learned about Sex – Hot, Holy & Humorous * Forget What You Look Like While Making Love – Hot, Holy & Humorous * Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker * Helpful Marriage Books and Resources – CalmHealthySexy * Why “10 Minutes and Lube” Is Horrible Advice” – The Forgiven Wife

Click Here to Learn More

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Our podcast is hosted by four friends talking biblically and authentically about sexual intimacy. How can you find your own friend group to talk with about sex? We've got some tips!

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**From the Bible**

Friends
We rejoice and delight in you;
we will praise your love more than wine.
Song of Songs 1:4

The godly give good advice to their friends;
the wicked lead them astray.
Proverbs 12:26 (NLT)

Resources

• Finding Friends to Support Your Marital Intimacy – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• What Should You Share about Your Sex Life with Friends? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• HD Wives Community (subscription)
• Honeycomb & Spice (with subscription community)
• Episode 38: A Conversation About Porn (Part 1) - Bonny's Story
• Episode 39: A Conversation About Porn (Part 2) - Bonny's Story
• Strong Wives Facebook Community (website coming soon)
• Passion Pursuit Study (with Chris Taylor)
• Calm.Healthy.Sexy. website

Sign up for our next webinar!

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com.

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About this episode Today we’re talking about making space in your life for sex. And whether you’re listening to this in the time of COVID, when we’re recording it, or at a time when things are more back to normal, you probably have some sense of what it means to make space (or lack space) in your life for sex, intimacy, and just in general enjoying your marriage.

Sponsor I want to know more!

**I want the whole series!**     **Click to check it out!**  From the Bible What does God have to say about making space for sex in your marriage?

Song of Songs 7:11 - Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages.

• Resources
  • How to Manage Your Family's Schedule - Calm.Healthy.Sexy
  • 5 Words You Need to Learn to Say - Calm.Healthy.Sexy
  • How to Regroup and Start Over in July - Calm.Healthy.Sexy
  • How Do You Manage Sex When Your Schedules Are Different? The Forgiven Wife
  • How Does Stress Affect Your Marriage? The Forgiven Wife
  • Where Do You Need to Say “No” to Say “Yes” to Your Marriage? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
  • How Do You Measure Up to the Virtuous Woman? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
  • Friendship Builds Sexual Interest - OysterBed7
  • Friendship - The Art of Conversation - OysterBed7
  • Friendship 101 - OysterBed7
  • I Love Friendship Closes Its Eyes - OysterBed7

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About This Episode

Is it time to expand your sexual position repertoire? We discuss going beyond "missionary" to include other positions, with a dose of reality on what's do-able and how to introduce new positions into your marriage.

Sponsor

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From the Bible

"His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me."
Song of Songs 2:6, 8:3

The mandrakes give off a fragrance, and at our doors is every delicacy, both new and old. I have treasured them up for you, my love.
Song of Songs 7:13 (CSB)

Resources

• Spice Up Your Marriage! 18 Fun Ideas - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• I Love New Positions! - OysterBed7
• Learn What You Like in Bed - The Forgiven Wife
• Enjoy a Plus-Size Sex Life, Part 1 - The Forgiven Wife
• Enjoy a Plus-Size Sex Life, Part 2 - The Forgiven Wife
• Sexual Positions for Pregnancy, or “My Belly’s In the Way!” - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: Adding Variety to Your Marriage Bed - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why You Should Try This Sex Position - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• "Considering Sexual Positions," Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design by J. Parker (Amazon affiliate link)
• Christian Friendly Sex Positions

Visit our website: forchristianwives.com

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About this episode Self-care is important—and it helps our sexual interest too! In this episode we talk about why and share some tips.

Sponsor Click Here to Learn More

From the Bible “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” Mark 2:27

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Luke 5:16

Resources 5 Ways to Treat Yourself Like a Friend – CalmHealthySexy

Silence the Lies – The Forgiven Wife

New Day, New Way – It’s Never too Late to Start Something New – CalmHealthySexy

Episode 80: Intimacy During Lockdown

Self-Bullying: What to do when the bully is YOU! (affiliate link)

5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself in a Crisis – CalmHealthySexy

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About this episode We’re recording this at a time when many people are still living with some form of stay-at-home orders. Others can go out, but aren’t sure if it’s safe. And many others are facing financial difficulties, such as job loss, reduced work hours, or uncertainty about the future of their job or business. All of those things make the idea of “date night” seem rather daunting.

But even beyond the current crisis, lots of couples face challenges to enjoying a regular “date night.” Money may be tight, they may not have childcare, or they may be too tired to figure out what to do.

So today we’re going to talk about date nights for challenging times, whatever your challenge may be. These are simply ways to plan some fun with your spouse – at home or in your community – that don’t cost a lot of money and don’t take a lot of time and energy.

From the Bible Song of Songs 7:11-13 Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love. The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved.

Resources Date Night Questions - The Romantic Vineyard
Alphabet Dates - The Romantic Vineyard
Date Night, Anywhere - The Forgiven Wife
Dating Your Spouse in a Crisis – LoveHopeAdventure
How to Have a Movie Date in Your Car – LoveHopeAdventure
4 Reasons to Add a “Parents’ Night” to Your Family’s Schedule - CalmHealthySexy
25 Ways to Have Fun with Your Husband – CalmHealthySexy
16 Fun and Healthy Dates for Married Couples – CalmHealthySexy
Variety and Libido - OysterBed7
Friendship 101 - OysterBed7
26 2-Player Board Games for Couples - To Love Honor & Vacuum
Are You Dating Your Spouse Enough? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Movies to Inspire Romance - Hot, Holy & Humorous
20 Date Nights You Can Do at Home (book review) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Make Date Night a Marriage Adventure (book review- Hot, Holy & Humorous

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Today, we are answering some of your questions.

• How can I get over being sexually shy with my husband?
• How can I begin to get past the negative messages I learned about sex?
• How can I show my husband desire throughout the day instead of compartmentalizing sex for bedtime only?

Sponsor

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This episode was also sponsored in part by Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples!

From the Bible

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

Resources

• Forget What You Look Like While Making Love - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 29: Lies Women Believe, Part 1
• Episode 30: Lies Women Believe, Part 2
• Episode 59: Myths We Learned from Pop Culture
• The #1 Myth Christian Women Learned about Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Aqua Notes Water Proof Note Pad (Amazon affiliate link)
• 5 Times of Day to Make Love - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Silence the Lies - The Forgiven Wife
• Four Ways to Absorb God's Truth about Intimacy in Marriage - The Forgiven Wife
• When You Need Help Getting in the Mood: 3 Ways to Nurture Your Desire Throughout the Day - The Forgiven Wife

Visit our website at forchristianwives.com

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About this episode We’re wingin’ it! Hang out with us as we ramble about life during a global pandemic, the reality of trying to continue intimacy despite circumstances, and where our heads and hearts are right now. Maybe you can relate.

Sponsor 2019 Replays 2020 Webinars From the Bible “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18 (NIV)
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” – 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)
The Book of Psalms

Resources Squirrels
Sports Announcer doing Real-life Commentary
Melt Couples Massage Master Class
Episode 10: Tending Your Garden
USA Today Mask Pattern (the one J used)
No Sew Face Mask
Face Mask from Bra

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We're recording this during the Coronavirus global pandemic, but today we’re focusing on the positive with some practical tips for fostering intimacy during lockdown.

1. What aspects of marital intimacy are most important during this tough time?
2. How can sex be part of maintaining a positive attitude
3. Knowing the challenges various couples are facing, what tips do you have for nurturing intimacy during lockdown?
4. What scripture gives you hope and comfort right now?

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And check out our webinar replays.

From the Bible

"This is the day that the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."
– Psalm 118:24 (ESV)

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
– Isaiah 43:2-3

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" – Matthew 6:25-27

Do not put your trust in princes,
in human beings, who cannot save.
Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord their God.
– Psalm 146:3,5

Resources

5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself in a Crisis - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
The Joy of Earbuds - The Forgiven Wife
What Will the Kids Think? The Forgiven Wife

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About this episode As we record this, we are in the midst of a global pandemic. Life feels far from normal.

Besides pandemics, we all live through very difficult experiences from time to time. Natural disasters, deaths, illnesses, and family crises can pull the rug out from under us.

In this episode, we share some ideas to help you maintain sexual intimacy when life goes topsy-turvy.

From the Bible What does God have to say about [insert topic]?

"Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her" (2 Samuel 12:24a).
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7).

Resources Challenging Times? Some Tips to Keep Up Marital Intimacy! - J's newsletter
Let's Address These Marriage Struggles You May Have Right Now - J's newsletter
4 Ways Sex Can Comfort in Crisis or Grief - Hot, Holy & Humorous
How Sex Can Help Us Cope - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Your Wife's Anxiety - KHS Ministry
8 Ways to Stay Intimate Even When Life Gets in the Way of Sex - The Forgiven Wife
Nurture Your Non-Sexual Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife

Note: J's son was tested for Coronavirus, and the test was negative. Her husband's insulin issues got resolved as well. Let's keep praying for others who are impacted or at risk.

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Today, we are discussing breasts and how they can impact your sexuality. Song of Solomon calls them twin fawns of a gazelle and clusters of fruit. Whether your twins are gazelles, grapes, or grapefruit, we are going to delve into a discussion about the female breast.

1. What are some of the names used for breasts through the years?
2. We can’t talk about breasts without first talking about breast feeding. How can nursing affect a wife’s sexual intimacy?
3. What are some characteristics of healthy breasts and what are some warning signs that you may need to go to the doctor?
4. How breasts can impact a wife's experience of sexuality in the bedroom?

Sponsor

Click to Purchase 2019 Webinar(s)

Click to Purchase 2020 Webinar(s).

Also sponsored by KHS Ministry (Knowing Her Sexually) for husbands.

From the Bible

"Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle" (Song of Solomon 7:3).

"Your stature is like that of a palm, and your breasts are like clusters of fruit. I said, 'I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.' May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine..." (Song of Solomon 7:7-8).

Resources

3 Ways for a Young Mom to Feel More Sensual - Bonny's OysterBed7
Ta-Ta Touch - Bonny's OysterBed7
A&D Cream - Amazon (affiliate link)
Lansinoh Lanolin Nipple Cream (affiliate link)
Bag Balm - Amazon (affiliate link)
101 Words for Your Private Parts (with 25 words for breasts) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Check Out Those Breasts - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: “How Do You Feel about Your Implants Now?”
He Can’t Really Be Happy with My Body - Guest Post by J. Parker on The Forgiven Wife
A Wife's Breasts Have History - The Forgiven Wife

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About this episode Today we are discussing how to ask for what you want, in marriage overall, and more specifically in the bedroom. This is something many women struggle to do and many women do not even know if they are supposed to ask.

• Why is it so hard for women to ask for what they want, especially in the bedroom?
• What are some practical things that women can do to start speaking up about what they want and need, and keep speaking up until they get it?
• What about women who do ask for what they want, but nothing changes? Or changes happen for a short time, but then drift back toward the status quo?

Sponsors Click Here to Learn More Click here for Unlock Your Libido Visit Gaye's Calm.Healthy.Sexy Shop From the Bible The Song of Solomon

Resources Speak Up - The Forgiven Wife
Learn What You Like in Bed - The Forgiven Wife
Sock Monkey Kama Sutra book (affiliate link)
Cookie Sutra book (affiliate link)
Sharpie markers (affiliate link)
Q&A with J: How Do I Express What I Want in Bed? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
101 Words for Your Private Parts (But No Curse Words) - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Understanding Her Sex Drive Webinar - replay for only $5
Ravel's Bolero: Version 1 (10 min) and Version 2 (13.5 min)

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Today, we are answering some of your questions.

• How does a high desire wife navigate week-long business travel separation?
• What are some ways a nursing mom and mom of little ones can increase her desire to be sexual?
• How does menopause and hysterectomy affect sexual intimacy?
• Is it sinful to figure out how to reach orgasm on your own so that you can show your husband what works?

Sponsor Click to Learn More!

This episode was also sponsored in part by Honoring Intimates, lingerie & more!

From the Bible The following verse is referenced and explained within the episode, but read the whole Onan story here. "Then Judah said to Onan, 'Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.' But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother" (Genesis 38:8–9, NIV).

Resources * When My Sex Life Sucked - Part 1 and Part 2 - Hot Holy & Humorous * Smellin' Sexy - Bonny's OysterBed7 (sense of smell helps sexual interest) * 3 Ways for a Young Mama to Feel Sensual - Bonny's OysterBed7 * 3 Words that Can Improve Your Sex Life - CalmHealthySexy * Simple Ways to Use Essential Oils in the Bedroom - CalmHealthySexy * A Month Without Sex?! Advice for New Moms - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Q&A with J: Baby’s Here, But Sex? Not So Much. - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Manage Your Schedule to Create Time and Energy for Intimacy - CalmHealthySexy * Sex Scheduling Leads to Romance - Bonny's OysterBed7 * Sexy Pictures and Video in a Christian Marriage? - The Forgiven Wife * How Do You Manage Sex When Your Schedules Are Different? - The Forgiven Wife * Q&A with J: Should I Skype Sex with My Husband? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Q&A with J: Cultivating Intimacy During Physical Separation - Hot, Holy & Humorous * DHEA for Vaginal Dryness - Bonny's OysterBed7 * Replens Long-Lasting Vaginal Moisturizer (affiliate) * K-Y Liquibeads Vaginal Moisturizer (affiliate) * Sex After a Hysterectomy – Part 1: The Basics, Part 2: The Aftermath, and Part 3: Your New Sex Life - The Forgiven Wife * Can Daily Arousal Help with Vulvovaginal Atrophy? - The Forgiven Wife * Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy without Hormones - The Forgiven Wife * Masturbation: Hands On or Hands Off? - Hot, Holy & Humorous

And announcing... Click Here to Purchase or Learn More!

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About this episode We all want to be wanted, and our husbands are no exception. Initiating sex is a great way to communicate “I want you” to your husband, but it isn’t always easy.

• Why do wives sometimes find it difficult to even try to initiate sex?
• Some wives report that they do try to initiate sex but their husbands don’t seem to pick up on the signals. What is going on?
• What are some things wives can do to initiate sex and get things rolling?

Sponsor Click Here to Learn More This episode was also sponsored in part by Honoring Intimates, lingerie & more!

From the Bible What does God have to say about initiating?

Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside,
let us spend the night in the villages.
Let us go early to the vineyards
to see if the vines have budded,
if their blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates are in bloom—
there I will give you my love.
The mandrakes send out their fragrance,
and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
that I have stored up for you, my beloved.
Song of Songs 7:11-13

Resources You’re Not Kissing Enough – Hot, Holy & Humorous
40 Ways to Initiate Sex with Your Husband – Hot, Holy & Humorous
5 Ways to Initiate Sex with Your Spouse – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Flip the Switch from Initiation to Availability – Hot, Holy & Humorous
How Do You Initiate Sex ? – The Forgiven Wife
When You Initiate, Do This – The Forgiven Wife
10 Ideas You Can Use to Initiate Sex – The Forgiven Wife
He Wants a Wild-Cat in Bed. That's Not Me. - Bonny's OysterBed7

Limited Time Only! Just in time for Valentine’s DayAll three 2019 webinars for only $12!
Understanding Your Sex Drive
Foreplay
Understanding Her Sex Drive (for husbands)
Good through January 31, 2020

Click Here to Learn More

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forchristianwives.com

About the Episode

We understand the struggle wives often have with their body image and how it affects their sexuality. Today we want to revisit this topic to discuss how we can finally embrace our bodies and get comfortable being naked with our husbands.

• Why is having a positive body image such a challenge for women?
• What can we do to combat messages that make us feel worse about ourselves?
• Do we have any responsibility to take care of our bodies?
• Despite how we feel about ourselves, most husbands find their wives beautiful. But what about the wife whose husband criticizes her appearance?
• What advice from your own journey would you give to help a wife embrace a positive body image?

Sponsor

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Also sponsored by Honoring Intimates, lingerie & more!

From the Bible

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13-14

Resources

Body Image Got You Down? - The Forgiven Wife
Body by God - The Forgiven Wife|
He Can't Really Be Happy with My Body - J's guest post on The Forgiven Wife
Enjoy a Plus-Sized Sex Life - The Forgiven Wife
5 Ways to Feel More Attractive – Beauty and Confidence for Real Women - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
My Husband’s Big Belly Turns Me Off. Am I Shallow? - Bonny's OysterBed7

For a Limited Time Only

Just in time for Valentine's Day
All three 2019 webinars for only $12!
Understanding Your Sex Drive
Foreplay
Understanding Her Sex Drive (for husbands)
Good through January 31, 2020

Click Here to Learn More

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About this episode Today we’re talking about letting go of something old and taking hold of something new in 2020. Sometimes we hold onto habits, thoughts, and behaviors that seemed to serve us well in the past, but now aren’t helping us move forward. They’re keeping us from moving forward and creating something new and better.

1. What are some things we tend to hold onto, that may have helped us in the best but might be holding us back as we move into the New Year?
2. What are some changes you’ve made, or changes you know that other women have made, that have allowed them to take hold of something new in their marriage?

Sponsor Click Here to Learn More This episode was also sponsored in part by Honoring Intimates, lingerie & more!

From the Bible Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. – Isaiah 43:19

I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm—
my great army that I sent among you.
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
– Joel 2:25-26

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! – 2 Corinthians 5:17

Resources * Resolution Week: What's Your "One Word" for Your Marriage? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * List of all our episodes * Silence the Lies - The Forgiven Wife * How Do You Eat an Elephant? - The Forgiven Wife * Go Small - The Forgiven Wife * To Turn Wailing into Dancing - The Forgiven Wife

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Welcome to our Christmas episode! Listen as we share a little about ourselves. Plus, we thank you for listening by offering gift suggestions to build your lovemaking experience, your bedroom ambiance, and your connection with your sweetie.

Sponsor

Click HERE to learn more.

Also sponsored by Honoring Intimates, lingerie and more.

From the Bible

James 1:17, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

Resources

The shopping links below are affiliate links that earn us a small commission at no additional cost to you.

Gifts for Lovemaking

• We Vibe Sync
• (OysterBed7 We Vibe Sync Review)
• Liberator wedge pillow or other sex furniture
• (Should You Get a Sex Pillow? - Hot, Holy & Humorous)
• Vibrator pilot program
• Penis ring pilot program
• Sex blankets and throws
• Coconut oil
• Sliquid Splash pH-Balanced Feminine Wash
• Nooky Orange Blossom Massage Oil

Gifts for Bedroom Ambiance

• Green Tea Infused Memory Foam Mattress
• Zen Breeze Essential Oil Diffuser with 14 Color Night Light
• (Calm.Healthy.Sexy Essential Oil Archive)
• Chesapeake Bay Candle Peace & Tranquility (Bergamot & Ylang Ylang)
• Twinkling lights or red light bulbs
• Honoring Intimates babydolls - Stella Red Flower
• Infinite Moon's EverTravel Set

Gifts to Build Intimacy

• Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker
• (Launching the Conversation About Sex in Your Marriage (with Downloadable Sample Chapter of Pillow Talk) - Hot, Holy & Humorous)
• Hot Monogamy Board Game - Married Dance
• Couple's Conversation Cards
• Waterproof Shower Massage Wand - Married Dance
• Stationery or cards for writing your sweetie a love note
• Picnic Backpack Bag for 2
• Suave Conditioner
• Aqua Notes Water Proof Note Pad

Click HERE to learn more.

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About this episode When we struggle with sexual intimacy, we often feel alone. Our husbands may be our go-to support for most things, but if sex isn’t working well, he may not be able to help us in the way we need. Sometimes what we really need is support from other women who know what we’re going through.

In this episode, we talk about how to find support for our sexual struggles and how to use that support to help us grow. We’re joined by Ruth Buezis, founder of Awaken-Love Ministry and author of Awaken Love: The Truth About Sex that will Transform Your Marriage.

Sponsor Check out the games at Married Dance!

Click Here to Learn More about Married Dance ------------------- Learn more about Peace.Love.Joy Learn more about the Honeycomb & Spice Community. From the Bible What does God have to say about letting others help us?

Proverbs 11:14 - When there is no guidance a nation falls,
but there is success in the abundance of counselors. (NET Bible)

Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Galatians 6:2 - Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Resources * Awaken Love classes * Awaken Love: The Truth About Sex that will Transform Your Marriage (affiliate link) * Dealing with Sexual Baggage - The Forgiven Wife * Hot, Holy & Humorous HD - Facebook group for higher drive wives * Bonny's OysterBed7 community - on Facebook * Honeycomb & Spice Community * Sex Chat for Christian Wives Community on Facebook * Do Your Friends Support Your Sex Life? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Finding Friends to Support Your Marital Intimacy - Hot, Holy & Humorous * What Should You Share about Your Sex Life with Friends? - Hot, Holy & Humorous

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About the Episode

Around 20% of marriages are sexless. That is, the couple has sexual activity ten or fewer times per year. About ten years ago, a New York Times study indicated that 15% of couples haven’t had sex in at least six months.

Sexlessness in a marriage can be a source of deep pain—and if often reflects pain as well.

Today we’re going to talk about sexless marriages and what you can do about it if you’re in one.

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From the Bible

What does God have to say about sexless marriages?

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Song of Songs

"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love." Galatians 5:13

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Philippians 2:3-4

"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:24

"'Haven’t you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator "made them male and female," and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'" Matthew 19:4-6

How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights! - Song of Songs 7:6

Resources

Unlock Your Libido: 52-Week Sex Drive Transformation by Bonny Logsdon Burns
Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage by J. Parker
Why Knowing Your Low Drive Spouse's Love Language Is Important - Bonny's OysterBed7
Move Mismatched Sex Drives Toward Better - Bonny's OysterBed7
Ways to Align Mismatched Sex Drives - Bonny's Oysterbed7 @Messy Marriage
Helping Mismatched Sex Drives Become More Matched - Bonny's OysterBed7
Why Sex? - Bonny's OysterBed7
How to Arouse Sexual Desire Through Emotional Connection - Bonny's OysterBed7
Eliminate These to Help Grow Mismatched Sex Drives - Bonny's OysterBed7
Dear Wife, You Deserve a Great Sex Life Too - Calm.Healthy.Sexy
Just Because He Stopped Asking Doesn’t Mean He Stopped Wanting - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Is Refusing Sex in Marriage a Sin? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: “What If Neither of Us Desires Sex?” - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: I’m in a Sexless Marriage - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: “My Sexless Marriage Is Making Me Lose My Faith in God” - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Is the Church Failing Sexless Marriages? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: “What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?” Part 1 - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: How Do I Write a Post that Helps Sexless Marriages?
Q&A with J: “What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?” Part 2 - Hot, Holy & Humorous
A Prayer for Sexless Marriages - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: “What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?” Part 3 - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Q&A with J: “What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?” Part 4 - Hot, Holy & Humorous
How the Sexually Rejected Spouse Feels - Hot, Holy & Humorous
How the Sexually Disinterested Spouse Feels - Hot, Holy & Humorous
A Moment of Hard Truth - The Forgiven Wife
Leaving a Sexless Marriage - The Forgiven Wife
Living in a Nearly Sexless Marriage - The Forgiven Wife
Is a Sexless Marriage a Loveless Marriage? - The Forgiven Wife

Upcoming Webinar

Click Here to Learn More

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Episode 69: Shower Power About this episode Today we’re talking about bathing and showering—not just having sex in a shower or bathtub, but the whole kit-and-caboodle. You’ll see what we mean once we get started.

Sponsor Click Here to Learn More From the Bible What does God have to say about sex and showers (or bathing)?

Song of Songs 4:15
You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon.

Song of Songs 5:12-16
His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh. His arms are rods of gold set with topaz. His body is like polished ivory decorated with lapis lazuli. His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars. His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem.

Resources * Suave Conditioner (affiliate link) * Foreplay Webinar Replay * Understanding Her Sex Drive Webinar (for husbands) * Married Dance shower-friendly products (affiliate link) * Behind Closed Doors: 5 Marriage Stories, J. Parker * Showering and Bathing Together: Why You Should Try It - Hot, Holy & Humorous * 5 Tips for Shower Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Why She Needs Him to Shower - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Feet and Sex (Pedicures can build arousal) - Bonny's OysterBed7 * Episode 18: Listener Questions (includes a question about interest in feet)

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About This Episode

Today's listener questions are:

1. My husband is really interested in me swallowing during oral sex. I don't get it. I honestly don't want to work up to it; it's already taken a lot of effort just to give bjs and oral sex to him. But he keeps asking. I'm not sure what to do - keep saying no, or work through my gag reflex and dislike of the smell and try it? To be honest, it kind of grosses me out even thinking of swallowing. I've tried using the gag reflex sprays too and it doesn't help much. I just need some advice.
2. I’ve read in some books and blogs God’s biblical design and purpose is that sex is a) for reproduction b) for pleasure c) creating intimacy - these three purposes are independent of each other — reproduction is possible without pleasure/intimacy or pleasure can be possible without procreation. -the maximum goal of the Lord is intimacy, for happiness of the couple and because marriage represents intimacy between church and Jesus So.. Do you think it’s possible to have real intimacy without pleasure in sex? Like saying “if sex is not really pleasurable then intimacy is not really close” or “the greatest the pleasure the stronger the intimacy” or “a marriage can’t have actual intimacy without good sex” or “no sex, no intimacy”, etc. I know is a kind of strong question but I am struggling with this thought because I’ve read the three independent purposes of sex at some blogs/books, but I feel some explanations are missing, specially for we wives striving with orgasm or painful intercourse or trouble with arousal, so “pleasurable” is hardly a way to define sex life.

Sponsor

Learn About Married Dance Here (affiliate link)

From the Bible

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. – Ephesians 5:28

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I have come to my garden-my sister, my bride. I gather my myrrh with my spices. I eat my honeycomb with my honey. I drink my wine with my milk. Eat, friends! Drink, be intoxicated with love! – Song of Songs 5:1

Resources

What Are the Real Purposes of Sex? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Sex's Primary Job is not Lust Management - Bonny's OysterBed7
International Pelvic Pain Society
National Vulvodynia Association
Finding a Good Gynecologist – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Do I Have To? - The Forgiven Wife
Oral Sex: Spit, or Swallow? - The Forgiven Wife
Enjoying Your Husband’s Semen - The Forgiven Wife
Dealing with a Gag Reflex - The Forgiven Wife
Goodhead Fundamentals Kit from Married Dance (affiliate link)
Marital Aid Pilot Program from Married Dance (affiliate link)
When It Hurts: Maintaining Sexual Intimacy While Dealing with Pain - The Forgiven Wife
Maintaining Sexual Intimacy When Sex isn’t Possible - Messy Marriage
Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy without Hormones - The Forgiven Wife
Episode 65: Female Sexual Health
Q&A with J: Should You Just Swallow Already?
Is Giving a “Blow Job” Enjoyable for the Wife?

Upcoming Webinar

Understanding Her Sex Drive (for husbands) - November 14, 2019

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About this episode Today we’re talking about bedrooms, specifically the effect of your bedroom on the quality of sex and intimacy in your marriage.

1. Can a couple’s bedroom affect romance and/or sex in their marriage?
2. What kinds of things about a bedroom are most likely to negatively and positively affect romance and sex?
3. What are some simple things that wives or couples can do to improve the state of their bedroom?
4. What could they do that costs very little or offers a lot of improvement for a little bit of effort?

Sponsor FOR 10% OFF, USE COUPON CODE: SEXCHAT10

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From the Bible What does God have to say about the bedroom?

How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant. The beams of our house are cedars; our rafters are firs. Song of Songs 1:16-17

Resources * Get Off Our Marriage Bed, Fido! - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Getting a Sex-Friendly Mattress - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Should You Give Your Bedroom a Makeover? - Hot, Holy & Humorous * 3 Rules to Decrease Tension in the Bedroom - The Forgiven Wife

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About the Episode

Today we're talking about higher desire wives. But whether your sexual interest is higher or lower than your husband, you’ll benefit from our conversation.

1. Let’s begin by defining “higher drive wives.” Are these just wives who want an excessive amount of sex? What makes a wife higher drive or desire?
2. The standard presumption is that husbands want sex more than their wives. Why has this message been so prevalent, and why do we need to change it?
3. What are some reasons why husbands might have less sexual interest than their wives?
4. What do you think lower interest spouses wish their higher desire spouses understood about their sexuality?
5. Are higher desire wives represented anywhere in Scripture?

Sponsor

FOR 10% OFF, USE COUPON CODE: SEXCHAT10

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From the Bible

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife" (1 Corinthians 7:3-4).

"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:8-9).

"Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love" (Song of Songs 7:12).

"All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves" (Song of Songs 3:1-2).

Resources

Episode 59: Myths We Learned from Pop Culture

"Dealing with a Low-Desire Husband," Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design, J. Parker

5 Truths for High-Drive Wives - Hot, Holy & Humorous

I Love My High Sex-Drive Sisters - OysterBed7

Q&A with J: When It Comes to Sex, My Husband Says I’m “Too Much” - Hot, Holy & Humorous

A Prayer for Higher-Drive Wives - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Q&A with J: What If Hubby Is Passive in the Bedroom - Hot, Holy & Humorous

High-Drive Wives Are Not Crockpots - Hot, Holy & Humorous

A Letter to the Low-Drive Husband - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Hot, Holy & Humorous HD, Facebook group for higher desire wives

Click Here to Register or Learn More

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About the Episode Today, we are discussing female genital and reproductive health. What we affectionately call "hooha" health.

• What are some issues that women have in terms of genital or reproductive health?
• Focusing on the vulva and exterior lady parts, what kinds of things are red flags that someone should see the doctor?
• Thinking about our internal reproductive organs (vagina, cervix, uterus), what are some red flags?
• Now let's shift focus and talk about sexually transmitted infections and diseases.
• What other practical suggestions for remaining intimate with health problems or STI/STD can you offer?

Sponsor Click Here to Learn More about Everpillow

From the Bible "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:8-10.

"Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well." 3 John 1:2.

Resources * Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Center of Disease Control * Little Known Perimenopause Symptom (Unending Period) - OysterBed7 * Is an STD Affecting Your Marriage - Hot, Holy, & Humorous * No More Period, Period. - Hot, Holy & Humorous (on endometrial ablation) * Finding a Good Gynecologist - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy Without Hormones - The Forgiven Wife * 13 Things I Heard at a Sexual Wellness Class - The Forgiven Wife * An Embarrassing Post about Female Sexual Dysfunction (Plus 5 Tips!) - The Forgiven Wife * Azo Urinary Pain Relief (affiliate link) * Monistat - Miconazole Vaginal Antifungal for yeast infection (affiliate link) * Clotrimazole Vaginal Antifungal for yeast infection (affiliate link) * Sliquid Feminine Wash from Marriage Spice (affiliate link) * Bump Patrol After Shave Serum (affiliate link) * Dr. Smith's cream (affiliate link)

Click Here to Register or Learn More

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Episode 64: Healing from Sexual Abuse, with Mary DeMuth Many of our listeners are survivors of sexual abuse, or we know someone who is. We’d like to talk today about how that trauma shapes survivors, how it affects their marriages, what healing looks like, and what we can do as the church to support survivors.

We are joined by Mary DeMuth, an advocate, author, and survivor herself. Mary has a new book coming out August 13: We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis.

Sponsor

Use coupon code SEXCHAT10 for 10% off. Learn more about Everpillow by Infinite Moon

From the Bible What does God have to say about healing and sexual abuse?

Luke 4:17-21 - . . . and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,because he has anointed meto proclaim good news to the poor.He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisonersand recovery of sight for the blind,to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. He began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

Luke 10:25-37 - The Good Samaritan

The Book of Job

Genesis 1:2 - Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

Resources (Includes affiliate links)

• Buy the book - We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis
• What is C-PTSD? - Beauty After Bruises
• WeToo.org
• 5 free healing books with We Too preorder by August 12, 2019
• WeToo resource list
• Not Marked, by Mary DeMuth
• Mary DeMuth's website
• GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment)
• Healing from Sexual Trauma - The Forgiven Wife
• Are We Afraid of #ChurchToo? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why Abuse in the Church Makes Me Crazy - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• For Husbands of Sexual Abuse Survivors: Insights from Patrick DeMuth - The Forgiven Wife

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We’re addressing the topic of how we talk with our husbands to create a sexier and more intimate atmosphere for the bedroom.

• What defines “sexy talk”? What does that look like?
• As Christians, what kind of sexy talk is okay or not okay?
• How can we incorporate sexy talk into our repertoire? What are some specific ideas to get started or rev things up?
• Does the Bible have more to say about sexy talk?

Sponsor

Click Here to Learn More about Lorals

This episode was also sponsored in part by the Honeycomb & Spice Community.

Click Here to Check Out Honeycomb & Spice

From the Bible

My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. Song of Songs 2:14

Resources

Talking Flirty vs. Talking Dirty – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Say What? Sexy Talk in the Bedroom – The Forgiven Wife
Flirt with Your Husband (12 SFW Text Messages) – OysterBed7
15 Flirty, Corny, Steamy SFW Texts For Valentine’s Day – OysterBed7
Say the Magic Word! – OysterBed7
How to use Apple iPhone's Invisible Ink
Bitmoji

Webinars: https://forchristianwives.com/2019-webinar-series/

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Episode 61: Listener Questions About This Episode Today, we are answering some of your questions!

• How do I practically and emotionally manage the messiness of love making?
• How do I talk to my husband about his premature ejaculation?
• Is it normal to feel self conscious about the way my vulva looks?

Sponsor: Everpillow by Infinitemoon Use SEXCHAT10 in your cart for 10% off

Click here to learn more about Everpillow This episode was also sponsored in part by Pillow Talk, by J. Parker. Click here to learn more about Pillow Talk From the Bible I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Proverbs 5:18-19

Resources Wall of white vulva – Huffington Post article
Enjoying Your Husband's Semen – The Forgiven Wife
A Wife's Breasts Have History! – The Forgiven Wife (guest post by a man)
Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy without Hormones – The Forgiven Wife
Episode 14: Guy Talk – A Wife’s Beauty
Episode 58: Orgasm
The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment – Clifford Penner and Joyce J. Penner
2019 Webinar Series
Webinar teaser on YouTube
Why Are You Leaking After Sex? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples – J. Parker

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Episode 60: Vacation Sex Today we’re talking about vacation sex. We’re recording this episode at the beginning of summer, a time when many couples and families take a vacation. But, whether you’re planning a vacation or not this year (or if you’re listening at another time of year), this episode is for you too. Because we’re going to take a broad view of the term “vacation sex,” and look at ways to enjoy it any time of the year, without having to travel or spend a lot of money.

We talk about why some women find it easier to enjoy sex on vacation, while others find it to be harder. And we explore ways to extend the definition of "vacation," so that it doesn't always require a lot of time and money. Finally, we look at ways to slow down and make summer less stressful and more enjoyable, whether you take a "vacation" or not.

Sponsor: Everpillow by Infinitemoon

Use SEXCHAT10 in your cart for 10% off

Click here to learn more about Everpillow This episode was also sponsored in part by Married Dance, a discreet store where married Christians can shop for marital aids.

Visit Married Dance From the Bible

Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside,
let us spend the night in the villages.
Let us go early to the vineyards
to see if the vines have budded,
if their blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates are in bloom—
there I will give you my love.
- Song of Songs 7:11-12

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." - Mark 6:31

Resources

• How to Have Vacation Sex - Even if You're Not on Vacation - CalmHealthySexy
• 9 Ways to Relax and Enjoy the Summer - CalmHealthySexy
• How to Enjoy Your Summer Vacation - CalmHealthySexy
• Travel and Sex - Bonny's OysterBed7
• Vacationing with Hubby: How to Make It Better - Hot, Holy & Humorous

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Episode 59: Myths We Learned from Pop Culture About this episode Where did you learn about sex? Was it from your church? From your parents? From your friends? No matter how much true and good sex-positive teaching we had, most of us learned a lot about sex from popular culture, too.

Movies, television shows, and popular music often communicate messages about sex that are more myth than they are truth.

In this episode, we talk about some of those myths--and we'll look at the truths that should replace those myths.

Sponsors Use coupon code SEXCHAT10 for 10% off. This episode was also sponsored in part by Married Dance, a discreet store where married Christians can shop for marital aids.

Visit Married Dance From the Bible What does God have to say about marriage and sex, women's sexuality, and men's sexuality?

Song of Songs

So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 8:15

May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
– Proverbs 5:18-19

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – Ephesians 5:31-33

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.
Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?
Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
– Proverbs 5:15-17

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. – Matthew 5:27-28

They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed. – Ephesians 4:18-19

Resources Are Romance Novels Okay for Christian Women? – The Forgiven Wife
What Is Lusting? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
If I Wrote the Sex Scenes – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Have Stories Damaged Your View of Sex? – Hot, Holy & Humorous Webinar Series Click to learn more about our upcoming webinars.

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About the Episode It may be the pinnacle of pleasure, but lots of women still have questions about orgasm. Julie Sibert from Intimacy in Marriage joins us as we answer many of the orgasm questions we get from our listeners and readers.

1. Let's start with the basics. What is an orgasm?
2. Why is orgasm important? That is, what's the big deal?
3. Should a wife expect or want to achieve orgasm every time she and her husband make love?
4. A lot of women struggle to reach orgasm. What advice can we give them?
5. This last question is kind of like a lightning round. I'm gonna throw out some things we get asked about regarding orgasm, and let's see how many of them we can quickly cover: multiples, simultaneous orgasm, female ejaculation, clitoral vs vaginal orgasms, G-spot orgasm.

Sponsors Use coupon code SEXCHAT10 for 10% off. Click to Learn More about EverPillow Honeycomb & Spice Community From the Bible What does God have to say about orgasms?

As we say in the episode, He gave women a clitoris--and its only purpose is pleasure!

Resources Peace and Fireworks – The Forgiven Wife
Forget What You Look Like While Making Love – Hot, Holy & Humorous
The F-Word I Don’t Like: A Rant – The Forgiven Wife
These 3 Actions Could Bring You to Orgasm
Birth Control and Libido – Bonny’s OysterBed7
DHEA Can Help Vaginal Dryness – Bonny’s OysterBed7
Episode 9: Listener Questions (includes question about multiple orgasms)
Female Ejaculation: Is It Real? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
A Different Kind of Sexual Wetness: Candid Discussion about Female Ejaculation
Intimacy in Marriage
Bonny Logsdon Burns on Amazon Author Central (follow her to get a heads-up when her Unlock Your Orgasm resource releases)
Intimacy in Marriage – The Orgasm Page
Better Sex in Your Marriage

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About the Episode

We tackle listener questions about gifts for a virgin bride, sex positions, and predicting sex drive.

1. My friend is getting married this year, and she is a virgin. What kind of gifts would you recommend to help her have a more comfortable transition into losing her virginity, and loving sex?
2. My husband and I are newly married and I feel like we repeat the same three positions and we have discussed getting a book to figure out new positions!
3. I'm getting married in a few weeks. Is there any way to know before you're married if you generally have a high or low sex drive? Or is that something that you only know after marriage?

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From the Bible

How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume more than any spice! Song of Songs 4:11

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

Resources

Virgin Bride Guidebook: Wedding Night Answers, Bonny Logsdon Burns
What to Pack for Your Honeymoon or Vacation – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Sliquid Lubricant Sample Packs
Noxzema Bikini Razors (Walmart site, but available other places)
Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design, J. Parker
Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage, J. Parker
Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples, J. Parker "Considering Sexual Positions," Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design, J. Parker
Sex Position Cards, by Christian Friendly Sex Positions
Guy Talk: Men's Sexuality – Sex Chat for Christian Wives
Women's Sexual Response – Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Our Website

forchristianwives.com

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Episode 56: Christian Sex Therapy, with Dr. Jessica McCleese About this episode Have you ever wondered what happens in sex therapy–especially Christian sex therapy? Listen in while Bonny talks with Christian sex therapist Jessica McCleese about what happens in the first session, treatment for pain during intercourse, sexuality and faith, and how much therapy is enough.

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From the Bible What does God have to say?

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers. Proverbs 11:14

Resources Be Fully Well

Dr. Jessica McCleese YouTube channel

When It Hurts: Maintaining Sexual Intimacy While Dealing with Pain – The Forgiven Wife

Maintaining Sexual Intimacy When Sex isn’t Possible – Messy Marriage

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Today, we discuss romance. Is it overrated?

1. What is the definition of romance to you?
2. How does romance change over time?
3. How do you communicate with each other about romance?

Sponsor From the Bible What does God have to say about romance?

He Like a lily among thorns
is my darling among the young women.She Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my beloved among the young men.
Song of Songs 2:2-3a

And the rest of Song of Songs...

Resources Why Knowing Your Low Drive Wife’s Love Language Is Important – OysterBed7
Romance Infused with the Gospel – Debi Walter at Hot, Holy & Humorous
August Is Romance Awareness Month – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Common Myths of Romance Novels – Hot, Holy & Humorous
A Romance Book You Can Read – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Once in a While, Your Husband Needs a Girlfriend – Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
Are Romance Novels Okay for Christian Women? – The Forgiven Wife
Romance His Socks Off! – The Forgiven Wife
The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to Science – The Gottman Institute
Love Language Profile for Couples (quiz) – The 5 Love Languages

Visit Our Website: For Christian Wives

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Today we’re talking about the challenge of interruptions, what form they take, and what to do about them so you can still have and enjoy sexual intimacy in your marriage.

1. What are some common interruptions couples face?
2. Why do interruptions make it especially difficult for women to refocus on sexual intimacy?
3. Do you have a story of being interrupted during sex and how you handled it?
4. How can we minimize interruptions?
5. How can we deal with interruptions that happen no matter what?

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From the Bible

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. – James 1:2-5

And the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. – Mark 10:8-9

Resources

My Many Mental Browser Tabs - Forgiven Wife
Get Off Our Marriage Bed, Fido! - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Lock the Door, For Heaven's Sake! - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Making Love When You Have Teens in the Home - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Bedroom Soundtracks - OysterBed7
Behind Closed Doors: Five Marriage Stories by J. Parker

GoFundMe

CLICK HERE TO DONATE OR LEARN MORE

We live in different states and want to come together under one roof to develop material, plan future endeavors (including webinars), and record while actually being in the same room. Our aim is to develop material that will point you toward a more holy marriage bed and a deeper personal commitment to the Lord.

Please consider helping us fund the cost of transportation and food for J, Chris, and Gaye as they travel to Bonny's house in east TN.

Currently, any money we make from sponsors helps pay for the cost of podcast and website hosting. We will be incredibly grateful for your donation, whether $5 or $500.

Thank you, faithful listeners. We wouldn't be here without you.

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About this episode We're answering your questions today!

• Is it okay for me to feel hurt that my husband masturbates during my period?
• Where can I find a Christian counselor?
• Should I initiate sex even when neither of us is in the mood because I want us to be sexually active more frequently?
• Should I tell my husband if I had sex before marriage?

This episode was sponsored by Scott Means from Heaven Made Marriage.

Use the promo code PASSION 25 at the Heaven Made Marriage Store for 25% off (good through March 2019).

The book can also be purchase from Amazon. From the Bible Proverbs 5:19 - A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

Resources * Lay Christian Counseling and Client Expectations for Integration in Therapy - Types of Lay Christian Counseling and their methodology * The F-Word I Don’t Like: A Rant - The Forgiven Wife * American Association of Christian Counselors * Board of Christian Sex Therapists * Stephen Ministries * Focus on the Family counselor database * Psychology Today database * Episode 6: Women’s Sexual Response * Episode 17: Body Image

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Episode 52: Resources for Great Sex About this episode Today we’re talking about resources for your marriage, and specifically about resources to help you enjoy great sex in your marriage.

From the Bible What does God have to say about sex? A lot! The Bible says a great deal about marriage and intimacy. Start with the Song of Songs.

Resources We mentioned a LOT in this episode—and here are all the links for you! (This list includes affiliate links that earn us a small commission.)

Bonny Burns * OysterBed7 blog * Unlock Your Libido: 52 Week Sex Drive Transformation * Virgin Bride Guidebook: Wedding Night Answers * Join Christian Wives with Low Sex Drive - Closed Facebook Group

Chris Taylor * The Forgiven Wife blog * First Steps Facebook group (see link for instructions to request group membership) * Women in the Middle Facebook group * Passion Pursuit study * Intimacy Mentoring

J. Parker * Hot, Holy & Humorous * Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design * Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage * Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples * Hot, Holy & Humorous Community (closed Facebook group for husbands and wives) * Hot, Holy & Humorous HD group (closed Facebook group for higher-drive wives)

Gaye Christmus * Calm.Healthy.Sexy blog * Passionate Marriage page * Guide to Essential Romantic Oils

Other Resources We Mentioned * Christian Marriage Bloggers Association - Directory * Dynamic Marriage 9 Week Course * The Gift of Sex - Dr. Cliff and Joyce Penner * Awaken Love - Ruth Buezis * The Generous Wife * Be Fully Well - Dr. Jessica McCleese * Intimacy in Marriage * Pursuit of Passion: Discovering True Intimacy in Your Marriage - Julie Sibert & Jeff Murphy * Love Hope Adventure * Intentional Today * The Wedding Night: Embracing Sexual Intimacy as New Bride - Ngina Otiende * The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex - Sheila Wray Gregoire * Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage - Kevin Leman

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We'd like to thank today's sponsor: Everpillow by Infinitemoon Disclaimer: We were provided with a free product. If you choose to purchase this product, Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast will receive a small commission from Infinitemoon. All opinions are honestly given and not coerced.

Click on the picture to learn more about this giving company and fabulous pillow. About this episode I'm thinking of a number! Can you guess what it is? I’m thinking of the number 2 because, it takes two baby! And, it’s Sex Chat for Christian Wives' 2nd anniversary!

Today, we're going to revisit some great information and share some new about:

1. How can you find your sexiness by managing body image issues, stress, and lack of time?
2. What is Female Sexual Response and how do we use it to understand our sex drive for the benefit of the bedroom?
3. How can you find fun with your husband in and out of the bedroom?

From the Bible What does God have to say about our sex lives? Here are some of the verses we shared in today's episode:

• It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. – 1 Corinthians 13:5
• Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. – 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
• So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and every creature that crawls upon the earth. – Genesis 1:27-28 and When the woman saw that the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eyes, and that it was desirable for obtaining wisdom, she took the fruit and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. – Genesis 3:6. Moral of the story: Sexual intimacy was encouraged by God and had nothing to do with "the fall."
• Song of Songs
• The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Resources * Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexual Response Be Like Your Husband’s? – The Forgiven Wife * The Macaroni and Cheese Lesson: Stepping Your Toes Outside Your Comfort Zone – The Forgiven Wife * 5 Times of Day to Make Love – Hot, Holy & Humorous * Are Stress & Fatigue Killing Your Sex Life? – Hot, Holy & Humorous * High-Drive Wives Are Not Crockpots – Hot, Holy & Humorous * Q&A with J: Why Did God Make Sex So Hard Sometimes? – Hot, Holy & Humorous * Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker * Why Sex Should Be Hot, Holy, and Humorous – Hot, Holy & Humorous

Please visit today's sponsor: Everpillow by Infinitemoon Click on the picture to learn more about this giving company and fabulous pillow. Don't forget to use coupon code SEXCHAT10 for 10% off your order.

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Our guest today is Kevin A. Thompson, the lead pastor at Community Bible Church in western Arkansas, speaks at marriage and parenting conferences, and has authored three books, the most recent one titled Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love & Last.

1. In Happily, you start by talking about how we tend to think happy or unhappy marriages are a product of luck or unspoken rules like marrying the right person. We've also heard this with the idea of sexual compatibility. What do y’all think about that idea?
2. You have eight commitments outlined in Happily, but one stuck out to me in particular about how we can misuse apathy and aggression in marriage. How do spouses misuse apathy and aggression when dealing with sex in their marriage?
3. Kevin, you've been bold on your blog about how women should be treated with respect, speaking for #MeToo and other issues. We've also talked about that here. But how can wives get husbands to understand their experiences with harassment and abuse without seeming like we’re man-bashing?
4. You’re a pastor, and while you can’t speak for all the others, we get this question sometimes and wonder how you’d answer: Why don’t pastors preach and teach more about sex?
5. What if a wife is experiencing sexual issues in her marriage? How should she approach her male pastor, and what safeguards should be in place?

Kevin A. Thompson’s book is Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love & Last, and check out his previous marriage book, Friends, Partners, and Lovers and his blog.

Our Sponsor

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Resources

• Want help talking about sex in your marriage? Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker. Priced at $2.99 for the ebook only through Valentine's Day!
• Also check out Intimacy Mentoring from Chris Taylor.
• Let's Make This Abundantly Clear – Kevin A. Thompson
• How Football Can Protect Women – Kevin A. Thompson
• What a Drunk Girl Deserves – Kevin A. Thompson
• This is how women feel about walking alone at night in their own neighborhoods – Washington Post
• This List Shows All the Things Women Do to Protect Themselves on a Daily Basis — & We're Exhausted – Cafe Mom
• Will Your Pastor Preach on Sex? (with a sermon from Kevin) – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• A Message to Your Pastor (and Mine) – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Never Call A Pastor for Premarital Counseling – Kevin A. Thompson
• What Men and Women Don't Know About Sex – Kevin A. Thompson

From the Bible

"Jesus said:
'Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.'" – Matthew 5:3-10

"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. " – Titus 2:3-5

Our Website

http://forchristianwives.com

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Today, we’re talking about creating a new year for intimacy in your marriage. Although we’re already a few weeks into 2019, there’s still plenty of time to make a plan for growing closer to your husband, strengthening your marriage, and enjoying sex and intimacy this year.

1. There are lots of different ways to approach change in general. How do you approach making changes in your life?
2. What changes do you plan to make this year, either in your marriage or in other areas of your life?
3. What’s your best recommendation to a listener who wants to improve sex and intimacy in her marriage this year, but isn't sure where to begin?

Sponsor: InfiniteMoon Everpillow

Coupon Code: SexChat10 for 10% off

InfiniteMoon

Resources

• "Eden" – Online Etymology Dictionary
• Goals to Grow Your Sexual Interest – Bonny's OysterBed7
• What's Your Middle Name? – Bonny's OysterBed7
• Pillow Talk by J. Parker (great book for the New Year!)
• 9 Things to Do This Week to Get Ready for a Healthy New Year - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• 12 Strategies for a CalmHealthySexy New Year – Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• How to Feel Sexy This Year – Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Baby Steps for Moving Forward – The Forgiven Wife
• One Step Forward – The Forgiven Wife

From the Bible

"See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland." – Isaiah 43:19

Visit our website at https://forchristianwives.com.

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Dr. Juli Slattery, president of Authentic Intimacy, joins us for this episode. Her most recent book, Rethinking Sexuality: God’s Design and Why It Matters, challenges us to think about sexuality in new ways.

We talk with Juli about sexual brokenness, why the enemy likes to attack our sexuality, and how we can pray about our sex lives (even during sex!).

From the Bible What does God have to say about brokenness and how we can fight the enemy's attacks on us (even in the area of sexuality)?

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one. 2 Thessalonians 3:3

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

Resources 25 Reasons God Made Sex Really Good - Bonny's Oysterbed7

Sexual Invocation - The Forgiven Wife

Passion Pursuit - Authentic Intimacy Resources

Passion Pursuit study hosted by The Forgiven Wife

Shekhinah Glory

Links to Our Sponsors * J. Parker, Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples at Amazon, Barnes & Noble/Nook, Apple/iBooks, and Kobo * Chris Taylor, Intimacy Mentoring or Intimacy Encouragement

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Today on the podcast we’re talking about lingerie. What is lingerie anyway? That term covers both what we wear under our clothes and to bed. Or even just for a few moments before the outfit is summarily tossed onto the floor to make way for other activities in the bedroom.

1. What do you think of lingerie, and have your opinions or practices changed throughout the years?
2. How might our choice of lingerie impact our sexual intimacy?
3. We often hear how husbands want to see their wives in sexy lingerie, but what if he doesn't care? What should a wife do then?
4. Getting practical, how should wives shop for lingerie? What tips do you have?
5. Do y’all have anything biblical to add to this topic of lingerie?

Peace. Love. Joy. - 75 Simple Ways to Take Care of Your Health, Happiness, and Marriage this Holiday Season

Resources

Where to Shop for Lingerie – Hot, Holy & Humorous

"Getting Ready for Sex," Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design

The 7-Day Lingerie Experiment – Calm.Healthy.Sexy.

7 Ways to Make the Most of Your Lingerie – The Forgiven Wife

Torrid Plus-Size Lingerie

Honoring Intimates

Marriage Spice

Website

forchristianwives.com

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In this episode, we answer listeners' questions about struggling to initiate sex, catching your husband ogling another woman, having an orgasm during intercourse, and filming yourselves having sex. Be sure to check out our show notes at forchristianwives.com for links to helpful resources!

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About this episode Merriam-Webster defines foreplay as "erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse." But what is erotic stimulation? And why is it important for the sexual intimacy in a marriage?

1. How do men and women tend to think about foreplay differently? What does that word mean to husbands? What does it mean to wives?
2. What actually constitutes foreplay?
3. Why is foreplay important for a married couple?
4. How can wives talk about their foreplay desires with their husbands?
5. Is foreplay in the Bible?

From the Bible What does God have to say about foreplay?

Song of Songs – the whole book!

"May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love" (Proverbs 5:18-19).

Resources Rube Goldberg machine

Freshen Up Your Foreplay – Hot, Holy & Humorous

Newsflash, Hubbies! She Loves Foreplay. – Hot, Holy & Humorous

The F-Word I Don’t Like: A Rant – The Forgiven Wife

Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexual Response Be Like Your Husband’s? – The Forgiven Wife

Ultimate Intimacy app

Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design by J. Parker

Visit our post for this episode.

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About this episode It's been a while since the four of us had young kids, but today we're hosting special guest Keelie Reason, marriage and sex blogger at Love Hope Adventure, on the topic of making love when you still have kids in the house.

1. How did you feel about having sex while your kids were in the house?
2. Why do you not feel self-conscious?
3. What would you say to someone who is self-conscious?
4. How do you handle being interrupted?

From the Bible What does God have to say about having sex when kids are in the house?

"Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control" (1 Corinthians 7:5, NIV).

Resources Lock the Door, for Heaven's Sake! by Hot, Holy & Humorous

Young Kids Can Kill Your Sex Life…If You Let Them by Hot, Holy & Humorous

Yes, Kid, Your Mommy and Daddy Have Sex by Hot, Holy & Humorous

Making Love When You Have Teens in the Home by Hot, Holy & Humorous

Q&A with J: Avoiding Sex Because the Kids Can Hear by Hot, Holy & Humorous

5 Times You Teach Holy and Healthy Sex to Your Kids by Hot, Holy & Humorous

Does Parenting Get in the Way of Your Marriage? by The Forgiven Wife

The Joy of Earbuds by The Forgiven Wife

What Will the Kids Think? by The Forgiven Wife

What If My Kids Hear Me Having Sex? by Keelie Reason (video)

4 Reasons to Add a Regular "Parents' Night" to Your Family's Schedule by CalmHealthySexy

4 Steps to Scheduling a Regular "Parents' Night" by CalmHealthySexy

More show notes can be found here.

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For many Christian wives, one of the biggest battles they face is with their own past. What we've learned, experienced, and done can affect the marriage bed for years. In this episode, we're going to talk about dealing with our sexual baggage.

We are joined by Shannon Ethridge, best-selling author, speaker, and life coach. She has helped so many women overcome their sexual and emotional baggage in her own work. In this episode, she will join us to talk about dealing with our baggage.

Learn more about Shannon at http://www.shannonethridge.com/.

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Thanks for your support! Click here for GoFundMe.

We know that oral sex can be a difficult subject in plenty of marriages. Is it okay for oral sex to be part of a Christian marriage? What about germs? What if a couple disagrees, with one spouse wanting to give or receive while the other spouse doesn't want anything to do with it?

In this episode, we’re going to tackle these questions.

1. Let’s start with whether it’s okay for oral sex to be part of a Christian marriage. Ladies, what do you think?
2. What kinds of health concerns might come into play with oral sex?
3. If a husband and wife don’t agree about oral sex in their marriage bed, how can they work through their disagreement?

More links and resources at our website: forchristianwives.com

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GoFundMe - Thanks for your support!

Author Charlotte Bronte said, “Flirting is a woman’s trade, one must keep in practice.” And yet, once we get married, we tend to forget how we flirted so successfully in our courtship. Or maybe we were never comfortable with flirting. Everyday life and awkwardness set in, and we fail to pursue our husband’s interest like we could. So today we’re going to talk about flirting with your husband.

1. Why is it important to flirt with our husbands? What are the benefits to flirting?
2. Why would a wife feel awkward flirting? What obstacles are in our way?
3. Now let’s talk about specific tips. What are some ideas for how a wife can flirt with her husband?
4. Any flirting or encouragement to flirt in the Bible that you can think of?

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This episode concludes our “Conversation about Porn” 3-part series.  The four of us are return as a group around the virtual kitchen table to help give some perspective and thoughts on moving forward in a marriage after pornography use is discovered.

(Just a quick aside, we are aware that pornography isn’t just a problem husbands have.  There are also wives battling the urge to consume porn or read erotica.  In a future episode, we will tackle that.  But, for today, we are focusing on a marriage where the husband has been viewing porn.)

1. How can a wife capture ruminating thoughts to soothe her pain?
2. How can a wife find forgiveness and rebuild trust?
3. When should they resume sexual intimacy?
4. What we say to men who believe that a sexless marriage attributed to their temptation.

For our show notes, visit us at forchristianwives.com.

To make a donation, go to our GoFundMe page.

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Pornography affects so many marriages--even Christian marriages. Although porn can be a problem for both men and women, we're going to spend some time looking at a situation we know many of our listeners can relate to.

Join us for the second of three episodes about a wife dealing with her husband's pornography use. In this episode, Bonny offers advice to other wives based on her own experience.

You can find show notes for this episode at http://forchristianwives.com/episode-39-a-conversation-about-porn-part-2. 

For the first part of the conversation, click here: http://forchristianwives.com/episode-38-a-conversation-about-porn-part-1/.

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Join us for the first of three episodes about a wife dealing with her husband's pornography use. In this episode, Bonny chats with Chris about what she experienced in her marriage.

Be sure to check out the show notes on our website.

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In ancient Judaism, a woman was unclean while she was on her period. She could only return to the marriage bed 7 days after her period stopped and only then after going through ritual cleansing. So, that means opportunity for sexual relations were not nearly as plentiful as it is for us since Christ came.

So, my friends, let’s talk about periods and sex

• To start, let’s talk about female health in general, what are some things that affect our periods and are signs that a woman should go to her doctor?
• Is there any reason to prohibit sexual relations while a wife is on her period according to Christian traditions?
• What are some things to help make it less messy and more comfortable?

From the Bible

Leviticus 12: "Purification after childbirth."

Leviticus 15:19: "When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening."

Leviticus 15:28: "When she is cleansed from her discharge, she must count off seven days, and after that she will be ceremonially clean."

Galatians 3:23-25: "Before the coming of this faith, we were held in custody under the law, locked up until the faith that was to come would be revealed. So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian."

Resources

Learn more about Orthodox Judaism laws surrounding menstruation here.

The Unending Period (peri-menopause symptom) – Bonny's OysterBed7

No More Period, Period. – Hot, Holy & Humorous

Finding a Good Gynecologist – Hot, Holy & Humorous

Sexual Intimacy & Your Period: Tips for Wives – Hot, Holy & Humorous

Support Us: GoFundMe

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It's been a while since any of us ladies were pregnant, but we remember. Mostly. So today, we’re tackling an important issue for many of y’all out there: sex when you’re pregnant. Because when you’re carrying a child, your body changes in so many ways, and those changes impact sexual intimacy.

1. What changes might a pregnant wife face with her libido?
2. How does pregnancy influence the actual act of sex, like arousal and positions?
3. What advice do you have for keeping sexual intimacy thriving during a pregnancy?
4. What if sexual intercourse isn’t possible at some point? What can a couple do then?
5. Does the Bible have anything to say about sex and pregnancy?

From the Bible

Genesis 1:27, Psalm 127:3, 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, 1 Samuel 12:24a

Resources

Sexual Positions for Pregnancy, or “My Belly’s In the Way!” – Hot, Holy & Humorous

Q&A with J: Pregnancy Bed Rest Makes Sex Forbidden – Hot, Holy & Humorous

"(You're) Having My Baby" – Paul Anka

Episode 15 – Listener Questions (with talking to husband about sex)

4 Ways Sex Can Comfort in Crisis or Grief – Hot, Holy & Humorous

Request

If Sex Chat for Christian Wives has blessed your marriage, please consider blessing us. We are asking for donations to help defray the cost of attending the October 2018 Declare Conference in Dallas, TX. This conference will serve as continuing education, helping us hone our skills as Christian communicators. If you've got some pocket change, please throw it into our cup. Sex Chat for Christian Wives GoFundMe Link.

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We're answering your questions in this episode!

1. How can a wife teacher husband about her body?
2. What can a wife do if she is embarrassed about queefing?
3. Is it possible to relax and enjoy sex when your kids are in the house?
4. What can you do if you ask your husband about his needs and he responds with "I don't know"?

For more resources about these questions, check out our show notes.

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We've encouraged you to use all your senses to better experience sex, and that includes the sense of taste. The Song of Songs is filled with reference to both food and sex. Does that mean we can combine the two? In this episode, we're going to talk about food and sex. You might say this episode is a real treat!

Find more info and resources in our show notes at http://forchristianwives.com/episode-34-food-and-sex/.

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The four wives revisit the topic of "Getting in the Mood." How to rev up your engine in anticipation of lovemaking. Each lady brings her favorite idea to the table and they all discuss.

Visit our website, forchristianwives.com, for more resources and links related to this topic.

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If Sex Chat for Christian Wives has blessed your marriage, please consider blessing us. We are asking for donations to help defray the cost of attending the October 2018 Declare Conference in Dallas, TX. This conference will serve as continuing education, helping us hone our skills as Christian communicators. If you've got some pocket change, please throw it into our cup. 

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What do we wish we'd known when we first got married?

In this episode, the four wives chat about what they wish they'd understood earlier in their marriages and what they would like to advise wives now.

• Sex is emotional, not just physical.
• Assume love.
• Pursue happiness for yourself.
• Speak up.
• Breastfeeding dampens sex drive.
• Get along with your mother-in-law.
• Your husband is a child of God just as you are.

Find more on our show notes, available at our website.

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Again, we address listener questions. Specifically:

1. I would love if you could discuss how to get OUT of the mood (for those of us with husbands who just aren't that interested). I also long to know what it's like to be a wife who is loved and desired by her husband. I've tried making peace with the fact that this may not be the plan for my life.
2. How do I get past my husband's sexual past? How do I let it go and not let it interfere with our marriage bed?
3. Is it medically bad for you to have anal sex with your spouse? And do you believe it is wrong for man and wife to engage in anal sex?

For more show notes and links to resources mentioned in the episode, click over to forchristianwives.com.

Thanks for listening!

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What are the lies that affect our marriages and limit our ability to enjoy sex and intimacy? And what are the truths that we need to embrace instead?

We address two more lies in this episode:

• I am not enough.
• Christian women should not be sexy.

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What are the lies that affect our marriages and limit our ability to enjoy sex and intimacy? And what are the truths that we need to embrace instead?

The four wives talk about two lies in this episode:

• Sex is for my husband, not for me.
• My sexuality should look like my husband's.

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Today, we’ll try to provide a tutorial on what we wives need to know about our husband’s body to have quality sexual intimacy in marriage.

• Let’s first break down the actual makeup of male genitalia. What are the various parts down there, and what’s their purpose?
• How would you characterize the relationship most men have with their penises? Why is that part so important to them?
• We've talked about body image for women, but do men have those concerns as well? In what way?
• What about giving your husband pleasure? What are some of the best spots and methods for arousing and pleasuring him in the marriage bed?
• How can Scripture guide us in accepting, appreciating, and loving our husband’s body?

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Welcome to the party! We are celebrating. It is Sex Chat for Christian Wives’ first anniversary! (Woohoo! Cue noisemakers!!!)

You have allowed us to chat with you for a whole year now.

1. What have some of you had to say about us? We discuss iTunes reviews.
2. We've talked about a lot of things this past year—what did we find most important?
3. How have some of you helped us help others? We discuss your helpful comments.
4. What do we hope to cover in 2018?

Be sure to check out our fabulous one-year GIVEAWAY at forchristianwives.com.

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This episode features your questions about love languages, male-centered sexual expectations, sexual fantasies, and oral sex.

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Sometimes as Christians, we can focus so much on the deeper meaning of sexual intimacy in marriage, on its emotional and spiritual aspects, that we miss a sense of playfulness—or even downright humor. But we’re not going to miss that today, because we’re going to talk about how real sex can be awkward, embarrassing, and even funny.

For more information about our anniversary episode giveaway, head to http://forchristianwives.com/anniversary-giveaway/.

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UPDATED AUDIO FILE

Taking care of your health can lead to better sex and intimacy in your marriage.

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We’re entering one of the busiest times of the year – the holiday season that runs from Thanksgiving Day (in the U.S.) through Christmas and on to New Year’s Day. For many women, this is also one of the most exhausting times of the year – those of us who are barely keeping all of our balls in the air will soon find that we’re supposed to juggle even more balls for the next 6 weeks or so!

The holidays often take a toll on women’s health and peace of mind. And the busyness they bring can affect our marriages. When stress, fatigue and activities increase, fun, sex and enjoyment in our marriages tend to decrease.

Fortunately, our marriages (and our physical and mental health) don’t have to suffer during the holidays. Today, we’re going to talk about things we can all do, starting now and for the next few weeks, to keep things fun, calm and a little bit sexy during the busiest time of the year.

We also have a free gift for you. We'd love for you to download this free ebook - 75 Ways to Love Your Life and Enjoy Your Marriage this Christmas - and use it to create a calm, joyful and relaxing Christmas season for you and your family.

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Our conversation touches on a difficult topic: sexual harassment and assault. We share some of our own stories and talk about how sexually traumatic experiences affect our marriages, about what churches sometimes get wrong, and how we as Christian women can support each other in healing.

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How can we talk with our kids about their bodies and sex? We continue our conversation with Sheila Gregoire.

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Talking to our kids about sex can be super uncomfortable. So how do we do it?

Sheila Gregoire from To Love, Honor, & Vacuum joins us for a conversation about parents can feel confident talking with their children about puberty and sex. This episode is the first half of our conversation. The conclusion will be in our next episode.

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The women talk about why initiation matters and share some ideas to help you get things going!

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We discuss listener questions:

• Does anyone really have sex like they do in the movies?
• Is role play okay in a Christian marriage, even if it involves imagining something that would be wrong to do in real life?
• How can an older couple maintain sexual intimacy?
• Is it sexual when my husband says he enjoys looking at other women’s feet?

See our show notes: http://forchristianwives.com/episode-18-listener-questions/

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Today’s topic is body image, and specifically how our thoughts and feelings about our bodies affect sex and intimacy in our marriages. We want to help you think about how body image might be affecting you and how you can take steps to change the way you think and feel about your body. 

1. What do we mean when we say “body image?” And what are some of the things that affect how a woman feels about her body?

2. So why are we talking about this? What does it have to do with sex and intimacy in our marriages?

1. What are some practical things that women can do to improve their body image, to begin to feel good about their bodies?

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Sex Chat for Christian Wives needs your help! Listen in for more information.

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J, Gaye, Chris, and Bonny talk about what marriage blogger husbands had to say about what they wish women understood about their sexuality.

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Gaye, Chris, and Bonny answer listener questions about menopause, communication, breastfeeding, spicing it up, and more.

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When a woman sees her body's flaws, it can be confusing when her husband tells her that she's beautiful. She wonders how he can see past her flaws.

Listen in as five marriage blogger husbands discuss a husband's perception of his wife's body. Then Gaye, Bonny, J, and Chris will weigh in.

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Today we are exploring mismatched sex-drives and how your marriage can thrive in spite of it. We will be answering the questions:

• What are some reasons that a mismatched season can arise in a marriage?
• What do couples need to know about mismatched sex drives so that they work hard toward finding mutual agreement?
• If you are in a mismatched season, does your spouse know of your needs? Here are some ways to help you talk about this with your spouse.
• What are some specific things a couple can do to try to overcome the conflict of having mismatched sex drives?

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Listen in as five marriage blogger husbands answer the question, "Why is sex important?"

Paul Byerly (The Generous Husband and The XY Code), Scott Means (Heaven-Made Marriage), Brad Aldrich (One-Flesh Marriage), Tom Walter (The Romantic Vineyard), and Doug Taylor (Big Guy from The Forgiven Wife) discuss the importance of sex.

After their conversation, Bonny, Gaye, J, and Chris chat about what the guys had to say.

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Meet Gaye, J, Bonny, and Chris!

Why do we all blog about sex? Why are we podcasting? 

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Despite making two recordings, we encountered sound difficulties that could not be completely fixed. About halfway through, you may hear some echo (reverberation). But hang in there! It will correct within a few minutes. Thanks for your support!

Our topic is tending your garden, “garden” being a euphemism for your lady parts that we borrowed from Song of Solomon. We’re talking specifically about hygiene, “landscaping,” and even decorating your garden.

1. What have y’all learned about what constitutes good hygiene for a woman’s private parts?
2. More and more wives are grooming their garden—by shaving, waxing, or other hair removal. What do you think about that trend, and why has it become so popular?
3. Not only can you landscape but you can decorate your garden—permanent and temporary tattoos, piercings, and vajazzling. What do y’all think about this practice?
4. What does the Bible have to say, if anything, about how we care for our lady parts?

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We're due for a podcast episode, but we've having audio difficulties. So we're postponing the next episode until we can work out the technical issues. We promise another interesting conversation around the virtual roundtable soon.

Thanks for staying tuned!

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Gaye, Bonny, and Chris tackle some questions from our listeners:

• What if my husband says my feelings aren't valid?
• How can I experience multiple orgasms?
• What do I do about my husband's ED?

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About this episode . . . Today we’re talking about marital aids, often known as sex toys. Is it okay for Christian couples to use sex toys?

When we think of sex toys, the vibrator is what usually comes to mind. Most of our conversations focuses on vibrators, but there are also things like nipple clamps, penis rings, dildos, butt plugs, masturbation sleeves, and more.

The Bible doesn’t say anything about sex toys. There is no “Thou shalt not use a vibrator,” nor is there a toy mentioned in the Song of Solomon. There is no specific instruction that we are to use, or not use, sex toys.

1. Why do so many couples use sex toys in the marriage bed. What do they think it adds?
2. There are good reasons to use sex toys, and there are good reasons to avoid them. So how can a Christian couple decide whether sex toys are acceptable for them to use? What are the questions we should be asking ourselves?
3. If we decide to use them, is there anything we should be on the lookout for to be sure we are still using them in a way that is consistent with God’s plan for our sexual intimacy?

From the Bible . . . What does God have to say about sex toys?

The Bible doesn’t say anything about sex toys. There is no “Thou shalt not use a vibrator,” nor is there a toy mentioned in the Song of Solomon. There is no specific instruction that we are to use, or not use, sex toys. A Christian couple should approach this issue prayerfully, in consideration of Biblical principles and with the goal of intimacy.

Resources . . . Why I Don’t Use Sex Toys - Hot, Holy & Humorous

How Do I Eliminate Marital Aids and Orgasm Naturally? - Bonny’s OysterBed7

What If the Batteries Died? A Sex Toy Story - Bonny’s OysterBed7

3 Ways a Vibrator Can Help Marital Intimacy - The Forgiven Wife

Batteries Included: Sex Toy Use? - Intimacy in Marriage

Can Christians Use Sex Toys? - To Love, Honor & Vacuum

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About this episode Today we’re talking about exercise and sex. Wow, that sounds like a weird combination, doesn’t it? What in the world do those two things have to do with each other?

As it turns out, quite a bit. The benefits of regular exercise and physical activity for women are tremendous, and they include benefits for improving your sex life. Yes, that’s right. Today we’re going to make the case that exercising regularly is not only great for your health, it’s great for sex and intimacy in your marriage. We'll be talking about four areas in which it can make a difference, including your physical health, mental health, body image, and energy.

From the Bible The Bible doesn't say much directly about the value of exercise, but it alludes to the importance of caring for our bodies and keeping them strong.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20New International Version (NIV) - Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Proverbs 31:17 (NIV) - She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

Resources Regular Exercise for Busy Women - How to Make Time When You Don't Have Time

Put Your Body to Work to Help You Feel Beautiful

Feel Beautiful - Dust Off Your Exercise Shoes!

4 Ways Exercise Can Improve Your Health - and Your Sex Life

Exercise Boosts Libido

Visit us at our website.

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Episode 6: Women's Sexual Response About this episode Today we’re talking about women’s sexuality and sexual response.

1. Why do we have so many misconceptions about women's sexual response?
2. What do we know about women’s sexuality that might some women might not realize is normal?
3. How can we help ourselves (and our husbands) better understand our sexual response?

From the Bible What does God have to say about women's sexuality?

1 Timothy 5:14: "So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander."

2 Samuel 12:24: "Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and made love to her. She gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The Lord loved him."

Song of Songs 5, especially verse 5: "I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the bolt."

Song of Songs 7, especially verse 10: "I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me."

Resources The Forgiven Wife, Learn to Embrace Your Sexuality

The Forgiven Wife, Love Like a Woman: Should Your Sexuality Be Like Your Husband's?

The Generous Husband, Orgasmic Massage

To see an image representing the massive real estate of the internal clitoris, follow this link to wikipedia.

Visit our website.

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Episode 5: Sex Scheduling

About this episode The busyness of life sometimes overtakes our schedules and sexual intimacy is pushed farther and farther down the list of priorities. In this episode, we consider whether or not to leave sexual intimacy as an afterthought.

1. What are some of the benefits of consistent lovemaking?
2. How can wives overcome their reluctance to schedule sexual intimacy?
3. What are some practical things we can think about to commit to scheduling lovemaking?

From the Bible What does God have to say about prioritizing your time?

Proverbs 3:27: "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act."

Luke 14:28-31: "Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, 'This person began to build and wasn't able to finish.'

"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand?"

1 Corinthians 7:5: "Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer."

Our Resources Hot, Holy & Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design, Chapter 2, "Finding Time"

Hot, Holy & Humorous: How Often Should You Have Sex?

OysterBed7: Sex Scheduling can lead to Romance

OysterBed7: 5 Questions to ask to Create a Sexual Encounter Schedule

OysterBed7: I Love Knowing When Sex is Going to Happen

Other Resources To Love, Honor, and Vacuum: Sex Scheduling in Marriage

One Extraordinary Marriage: 3 Steps to Schedule Sex in Your Marriage

Today's Christian Woman: Sex Scheduling

Also see Episode 1: Getting in the Mood Visit our website.

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Episode 4: Stress and Sex

About this episode In this episode we're talking about the ways that stress can affect women's interest in and enjoyment of sex. We focus on everyday sources of stress and the things that women can do to reduce the effects of stress in their lives. (And we acknowledge that some sources of stress require medical or other professional assistance, and that those are beyond the scope of this podcast.) The questions we discuss include:

• How does stress affect libido and enjoyment of sex for women?
• What can a woman do if stress is affecting her interest in or enjoyment of sex?
• What are some strategies women can use to reduce everyday sources of stress

From the Bible What does God have to say about stress?

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

...the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6b

Resources 3 Questions that Can Reduce Stress and Increase Calm in Your Life - CalmHealthySexy

How Do You Respond to Stress in Your Marriage - The Forgiven Wife

4 Simple Ways to Reduce Stress in Your Life and Marriage - CalmHealthySexy

Find Peace so You Can Find Orgasm - OysterBed 7

De-Stress to Improve Libido - OysterBed 7

How Does Stress Affect Your Marriage - The Forgiven Wife

Visit our website.

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About this episode Out in theaters right now is Fifty Shades Darker, the second film based on Fifty Shades series. These novels have spurred a lot of conversation and questions about erotica. And we’re going to address that topic head-on.

1. Why do you think so many wives have been drawn to erotic romance stories? What about this genre appeals to them?

2. I've had wives tell me that reading these novels awakened their sexual desire. What’s wrong with that? Isn't that ultimately good for the sexual intimacy in their marriage?

3. Some say that these erotic stories are no different from porn, and others say they’re no different from romance novels. What do you think about either or both of those charges? How are they the same or different?

4. Let’s get practical: What is okay and what’s not okay in the world of BDSM?

5. What are your own greatest concerns about the Fifty Shades phenomenon?

From the Bible Galatians 5:22-23: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Colossians 3:19: "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."

1 Corinthians 10:23: "'Everything is permissible,' but not everything is helpful. 'Everything is permissible,' but not everything builds up." (HSCB)

Resources The Forgiven Wife: A Shaded View of Romance

The Forgiven Wife: Are Romance Novels Okay for Christian Women?

The Forgiven Wife: As Bad As Porn?

Authentic Intimacy: The Good News about Fifty Shades of Grey

OysterBed7: 50 Shades of Uncertainty?

OysterBed7: Libido Boundaries?

Hot Holy & Humorous: Why I Haven’t Talked about 50 Shades

Hot Holy & Humorous: Has the Mainstream Embraced BDSM? Should You?

Hot Holy & Humorous: Q&A with J: How about Bondage in the Bedroom?

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About this episode Practical tips on positioning to help you find gain greater pleasure and intimacy in your marriage bed.

1. Why should wives be interested in learning new positions?
2. What positions are some women afraid to try?
3. Does the Bible have anything to say on the subject of sexual positions?
4. How can wives overcome their reluctance to expand their repertoire of sexual positions?
5. What’s a sexual position couples might not have tried that you recommend?

From the Bible Song of Songs 7:13: "The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved."

Song of Songs 2:6: "His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me."

Song of Songs 2:14: "My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely."

Resources Christian Friendly Sex Positions

Journey to Surrender: "What's on Your Sex Menu?"

The Cookie Sutra

Liberator Wedge Pillow

Christian Friendly Sex Positions: "Packing the Suitcase"

Oyster Bed 7: "Sex Variety and Libido in Marriage"

Hot, Holy & Humorous: "Why Try More Than One Sexual Position"

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About this episode How can we help ourselves be interested—and ready—for sex?

1. What are some of the challenges women face when it comes to getting in the mood?
2. What does the bible have to say about getting ready for sex?
3. What are some things we can actually do to help ourselves look forward to sex?

From the Bible What does God have to say about getting in the mood? One biblical wife we know well is the woman in the Song of Solomon. One thing she does is describe--in detail--the physical attributes of her husband.

My lover is dark and dazzling, better than ten thousand others!
His head is finest gold, his wavy hair is black as a raven.
His eyes sparkle like doves beside springs of water;
they are set like jewels washed in milk.
His cheeks are like gardens of spices giving off fragrance.
His lips are like lilies, perfumed with myrrh.
His arms are like rounded bars of gold, set with beryl.
His body is like bright ivory, glowing with lapis lazuli.
His legs are like marble pillars set in sockets of finest gold.
His posture is stately, like the noble cedars of Lebanon.
His mouth is sweetness itself; he is desirable in every way.
Such, O women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend.

Song of Solomon 5:10-16 {NLT}

Resources Calm.Healthy.Sexy: 5 Ways to Feel Sexier This Year

The Forgiven Wife: 6 Ways to Nurture Your Sexual Desire

The Forgiven Wife: Are You in the Mood for Sex?

OysterBed 7: 1 Simple Thing to Turn on Sexual Arousal and Intensify Orgasm