The Lin Life Universe: Recent Episodes
Karen Lin
Inspiration and motivation for change makers who want to amplify their impact. Helping you to live better in a minute a day. Want answers? Email universe@thelinlife.com with your questions, comments or thoughts on life.
Suffragist Leader Susan B. Anthony Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Abolitionist Sojourner Truth Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Pirate Ching Shih Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Catherine The Great Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Chinese Empress Wu Zetian Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Queen Arawelo of Somalia Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Pharaoh Cleopatra
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Japanese Artist Yayoi Kusama
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TV Pioneer Lucille Ball Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Media Mogul Oprah Winfrey Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Entertainer Josephine Baker Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
War Photojournalist Margaret Bourke-White Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Textile Artist Anni Albers Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Photojournalist Dorothea Lange Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Blues Performer Ma Rainey Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Children’s Author Beatrix Potter Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Photographer Julia Margaret Cameron Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Activist Juana Inés De La Cruz
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Author Aphra Behn Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Renaissance Painter Artemisia Gentileschi Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Composer Saint Hildegard of Bingen Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Novelist Murasaki Shikibu Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Poetess Sappho Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Recently a friend of mine was searching for the feminine version of “Knight”. Something that communicated the noble honor, integration of royalty, with the strength, cunningness and calculation of a warrior. Knighthood came about in the Middle Ages during a time when there was no feminine equivalent for a knight because women were not considered equal to men. I suggested that she look into the Japanese culture, there were female samurai called Onna-Bugeisha. They were intelligent, educated, elite, powerful leaders trained in weaponry the same way men were. They fought alongside the male samurai, strong and independent. Empress Jingu, Tomoe Gozen, Nakano Takeko are some of the more famous Onna-Bugeisha. There is history that happened and then the history that has been passed down. For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. I want to share about these amazing women history in the days ahead. They didn’t make our history books in school but they certainly changed the world for the better. Get ready to be inspired! Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Continuing our Transformational Conversations series. One of the most difficult habits to overcome from my family dynamic growing up was the avoid and explode cycle. Without much in the way of support, our parents would often hold in whatever they could for as long as they could. They were busy learning English, trying to make ends meet and raising three small children in a new country. By the time something surfaced, everyone was often at wits end and a shouting match was the only way to diffuse the pent up frustration. I had to work really hard in my first serious relationship to break that terrible habit. I would say things during these temper tantrums that I would later regret. An argument was a way to release tension, not a way to work towards a solution. There is bound to be one habit or tendency that you learned from childhood that still informs how you respond today. This can be a bad thing if you repeat the worst tendencies, but it can be a good thing if you are motivated to change. Your change will be chosen by you and profound. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Continuing our Transformational Conversations series. How to get started when they are a departure from the norm. This can be especially true with family. Start where you are, in the present. My family cares and loves each other in their own way. One of my most challenging relationships is with my sister. We’re oil and water in her words. She has her baggage too of "when we were kids, you did this to me." This is an argument that no one can win. If you want to go back far enough, you can always find something to hold against each other. Most recently, she was staying at my place and I asked her to take out the trash before she left. She replied back with a list of 10 things she wanted me to do before I left her place. I wanted to react and carry the baggage forward remembering all the times she didn’t help out the way I expected. Instead, I practiced being in the here and now. if my best friend were to ask me, what would I do, how would I feel? I would love to do it, and I would be happy that she asked so I could leave her place as she likes. I thanked my sister genuinely for the reminder. And she replied wanting to know if there was anything else. There was no argument that day. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Continuing our Transformational Conversations series. Today we’re going to be talking about how to determine a fact from a fiction. The overview of the non-violent communication method is: I see, I think, I feel. The first step is to make an observation. Let’s say your friend is late and you find it disrespectful, as a result you feel hurt. We often hide a dig in the observation. "I see that you are selfishly late like always." Ask Is it true? If it’s an absolute truth, you can ask anybody in the world and it would still be true. Is it always selfish to be late? Perhaps not. And If they have ever been on time even once in their life, like always is still a statement of fiction. Selfishly like always is not a fact, it’s a dig. "I noticed that you came 30 minutes later than we agreed and I didn’t hear from you." That’s a fact. Do you want them to hear the rest? "I think that it’s disrespectful of my time to let me wait. I feel hurt and angry.” You honor the relationship by communicating with integrity, do your best to begin with a statement of fact, not a fiction. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Continuing our Transformational Conversations series. Today we’re going to be talking about how to address unacceptable behavior. Many years ago I was in a newish relationship near the holidays and I casually mentioned that I would love to visit Thailand. His response, "If you go, don’t bother coming back." I immediately recognized that there was a story behind the story. The crime of a travel lover saying ”Ooh Thailand” does not match the outsized punishment of a threat. I spoke up. "Hey, it’s ok for you to say 'I want to spend the holidays with you' or ‘I’m curious if you are making plans to go away' but you can never threaten me. It’s completely unacceptable.” He expressed that he’d always hated the holidays, they had been dreadful growing up and he was finally looking forward to having someone to spend it with.” I shared "That is a much better way to share how you feel. Thank you. I’m a curious person and will always be saying things like I would love to visit blank. That’s not the same thing as making plans. And I will continue to express what I like.” He never used threatening language again. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Continuing our Transformational Conversations series. Today’s tool is about addressing a common trigger….criticism. Turn your criticism into a request. Criticisms are about a negative past. Requests are about a positive future. I was on a trip with an ex-boyfriend and we decided that we would prepare most of our meals to cater to his dietary restrictions and save some money. I'd wake up early and start making breakfast and packing our lunches before getting myself ready. Then after a full day of activities, we’d get back to the hotel where I’d unpack our containers for reuse and start prepping dinner. He would lay on the bed and watch tv. After a couple of days, I felt pretty resentful. I wanted to relax too. I thought he was being selfish but I knew he would get defensive if I criticized him. That evening while we got ready for bed, I asked what time he wanted to get up at. He said 8. I replied, “Every morning I spend half an hour prepping breakfast and lunch before I get ready. Can you add an extra 15 minutes to help me with the meal prep?” No blaming, shaming, name calling or criticizing the past, just a request for the future. He helped with meal prep everyday after that. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Continuing our Transformational Conversations series. How to handle Defensive Behavior. Do you have a loved one that will hurt your feelings or cross a boundary? And as soon as you start expressing yourself, their walls go up. They accuse you of always criticizing them. And they start to attack you with reasons why you’re actually in the wrong. In other words, they get defensive. People who are defensive have difficulty taking responsibility for their actions and resist feeling “wrong” because they view it from a negative lens that they have failed. It’s a knee jerk reaction that shields the person from guilt and self-doubt. Kids often develop this behavior as a way to cope with difficult situations and then it becomes a bad habit as an adult. If it has merit, go ahead and apologize for whatever reason they give in their counter-attack. Lead with humility. “I’m sorry, that was not my intention. I take responsibility for making you feel that way.” Follow up with, “Even though I sympathize with how you feel, you are responsible for how you respond. You seem to only bring these things up when I want to have a conversation. I expect you to initiate your own conversations when you are hurt. It doesn’t feel very good to have you take over when I want to talk." Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Continuing our Transformational Conversations series. Being a change maker means that you always bring your A-game to the conversation. Practically that means setting a powerful intention. Before I coach, I always take a few minutes to ask myself what I want to bring to the conversation. This is unrelated to the outcome because that relies on the other person. And it has nothing to do with your expectations of the other party. Setting an intention is defining how you will show up for the other person. That if you decide to bring trust, then you will give the other person the benefit of the doubt. If you bring empathy, then you will resist the temptation to constantly think of a response and embrace the opportunity to listen and meet the other person where they are. If you bring support, then you will eagerly seek to find out their agenda. If you bring clarity, then you will notice and honor your own blind spots and check them at the door. I will set an intention and hold it for the entire session. Even if the other person does not consciously recognize it, subconsciously they feel supported by the energy of your intention. That’s what it means to bring your A-game. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Continuing our Transformational Conversations series. Ask yourself what you really want? Sally was hurt when Diana did not ask her to be a bridesmaid. When they talked about it, It didn’t go well. I only knew because Diana called me telling me that she felt blindsided and attacked, which reinforced her decision to leave Sally out of the bridal party, Diana contemplated disinviting Sally altogether. But I could imagine Sally’s blunt approach was let’s share all the things bothering us about our friendship to “clear the air.” What's more effective is the vulnerable approach which requires emotional intelligence and taking action to support the outcome you really want. In this case, the friendship by taking Diana out for some quality time. Saying “Spending time with you today means so much to me. I want to confess that I felt a little insecure when you didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid. I realized I only wanted that because I value our friendship. Please let me know what I can do to help you and support you for the wedding. I’m here for you.” Which approach would move you towards a stronger friendship? Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Continuing our Transformational Conversations series. Ask what’s the story behind the story? One time my sister and I were having lunch. I ordered a dish for myself that was under 10 euros, totally within my budget. She ordered a main dish, an appetizer, something for her son and a dish to go. When the bill came, it was a bit over 40 euros. I asked myself what I could generously chip in for and offered, “How about I give you a 20?” She snapped, “So now you’re going to nickel and dime me!" The punishment did not fit the crime of offering a 20. What’s the bigger story? Emotionally, my sister had a tougher childhood than I did and money is one of her biggest triggers. It wasn’t easy but I reached hard for some compassion and spoke to her later when she had calmed down. I told her that I thought I was being generous by rounding up even though I was on a budget and had only ordered one thing. While she saw things differently, I was still able to have a calm discussion with her. But first I had to make room for a bigger story that wasn’t mine. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Continuing our Transformational Conversations series. Ask does the punishment fit the crime? Do you get sucked right in or do you have the ability to take one step back and say something is off here? One time my dad asked, "How is Jimmy doing?" I blew up and accused him of putting pressure on me and the relationship. I partially blamed pops for how things turned out, things had just ended with Jimmy. Dad's crime that day was asking a question. I was really hurting but the punishment did not fit the crime. The thing I said that was honest that day was it’s unfair for you to tell me what to do at this point in my life. "Can’t you just be happy for me when I’m happy and support me when I’m sad? I’m the one that has to live with the consequences." I could have spoken up the month before when he was lecturing me on what he thought should be happening in our relationship but I didn’t. This outburst was on me and I took responsibility for snapping at him and apologized. Other people will trigger feelings in our lives, but we are always responsible for how we respond. This is the premise of emotional adulthood and transformation. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
September marks the beginning of fall. A time of change. Traditionally this was the harvest season, when you would reap what you had sown in the spring. Spiritually, it’s a great time for self reflection. This month, I want to focus on transformational conversations. How to have them and what it means to use words that can change your life and the lives of those around you. We’re going to focus on the energy that those words carry with them. Have you ever wondered why it feels so difficult to address conflict? It’s because the words and tone we have been taught to use tend to carry a negative spirit. I’ll be sharing real life examples. All names have been changed. If the situation feels too close to home, don’t worry, it’s probably because it’s common. But common doesn’t make it good. And we’re here to make the world better because we’re in it. Stay tuned for a life-changing series on how to have transformational conversations. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
For travel accommodations, I use Airbnb if I’m looking for a space for a few days with a kitchen. I avoid it the first night if I’m arriving after dark. It’s just too uncomfortable to be in a new city after dark with luggage and not have a smooth and guaranteed check-in process. One time I was at a pizza delivery shop in Nice for over an hour late at night waiting for someone to let me in across the street because they went to a concert and their car was blocked in. I mainly used the Booking.com app for the majority of my accommodations bookings this summer in Europe. I used Agoda as a backup for a price check and they occasionally had a better price or option. But for the most part, the filters on booking.com made it the easiest to use. At the top of my list is location and I could easily sort by distance from the train and scan the map. The common filters I used were price range, free cancellation and property type. And when I did need to cancel, I found it fairly straightforward. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I love to experience local culture through it’s food offerings and hate to waste any part of my travels on a bad meal. I have my finger on the pulse of the LA dining scene but I’ve been following the local chefs and their careers for years, some well over a decade. What’s my strategy when I travel? I do a search on chowhound with the name of the city I am interested in visiting. For popular chowhound cities, the search results will be plentiful with many recent recommendations. When I see that the search yields scant results or there are not entries within the last couple of years, I know I’m not in a culinary destination. It doesn’t mean that it’s not a worthy cultural destination, it just means the food culture is not strong enough yet for it to appeal to other foodies. A good example is Ireland, the chowhound boards are pretty quiet about Dublin. Most days I prefer my own cooking to any of the restaurants. But when I was in Barcelona, I tried dozens of restaurants based on fellow Chowhound recommendations. Spain has a strong food culture, Ireland does not. I also search for local food bloggers, some are recommended within the chowhound boards. Some I just find on google. https://www.chowhound.com Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Air travel is not environmentally sustainable in its current form. The most environmentally friendly option is to walk or ride a bike. That’s just not an option for getting from the US to Europe. But once I get there, one of my favorite modes of transport is train. With all the security measures and extra time required around flights, sometimes a train can be more relaxing than a flight. For example, the train from Paris to Barcelona is 6.5 hours. At first that sounds like a long time but that is from city center to city center. But if we fly it’s likely going to be on a discount airline like Ryanair or Vueling and likely from an airport that is outside the city limits. Let’s say that takes you an hour, then add the two hours of recommended check-in and security, then almost 2 hours for the flight and then another hour on the backend to get you to the city center. That’s 6 hours already and that’s if you don’t experience any flight delays. My favorite app for booking train tickets is Loco2. European state-owned websites like Renfe in Spain can be clunky and cranky. A great resource for getting around Europe by train is Seat61.com. https://girlvsglobe.com/what-is-the-greenest-mode-of-transport/ https://loco2.com/ https://www.seat61.com/ Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
At a minimum, you should have a travel credit card that does not charge you international conversion fees. When making purchases abroad, you will always be better off declining the merchant’s exchange rate for US dollars in favor of opting for the local currency which will use the more favorable bank exchange rate used by your credit card as long as there is no international conversion fee. Other perks to look for in a travel credit card are things like global entry application credit, primary car rental insurance, airport lounge access, a generous sign-up bonus. One of the most popular amongst my travel savvy colleagues includes all of these benefits, the Chase Sapphire Reserve card. Before you apply read up on the Chase 5/24 rule. It’s the reason I don’t qualify. I’ve been using my Citi Aadvantage Platinum select card to top up my American Airlines points since I was close to a flight award. A great website for answering questions about travel cards and effective strategies for accumulating and leveraging reward points is ThePointsGuy.com. https://www.asksebby.com/blog/rules-to-know-for-chase-credit-card-applications https://thepointsguy.com/ Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I often share what I’m doing that I think is working well. But in this area, I know I can do better when I need access to cash. I need to upgrade my travel debit card. Typically, it’s been a BofA or Wells Fargo debit card. The cards have a $5 fee for withdrawals outside the bank network which basically means any withdrawal overseas. This summer I was on a family trip and was responsible for spending cash for 5 other relatives on a 14 day tour through Europe. I normally make relatively few withdrawals but when I was at the atm every other day during our trip, the fees became excessive. Charles Schwab is the most highly recommended debit card in my network of fellow travelers and it’s easy to obtain by opening a no fee brokerage account that does not require a minimum deposit. They refund all atm fees. The other option that may soon be available in the US is the Revolut card. It’s popular in Europe and lets you automatically exchange money to the local currency which is fantastic when your trip involves multiple currencies. I’m eager to make the switch and stop paying unnecessary fees. https://www.schwab.com/public/schwab/investing/accounts_products/accounts/brokerage_account https://www.revolut.com/ Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Today I have some tips about getting around when you travel. I download the associated app for whatever airlines I fly and join those frequent flyer clubs. This summer I used mostly American Airlines and Ryanair. If you like to make plans on the fly, this will save you so much time. Uber works in a number of European cities but it faces a lot of legal battles and regulations which are always changing. In Dublin, it’s linked to officially licensed taxis. The public transportation system is also generally quite good in Europe. I’ll download the Metro app for whatever major cities I’m traveling through. This summer I used the Paris Metro app and the LUAS app which is the light rail system in Dublin. Google Maps is my default navigator whether I’m at home or abroad so I’ll use that first to help me determine my local route. Then I’ll go to the LUAS app to get live schedule updates for the tram. And if the timing is off or I just want a faster connection, I’ll use Uber. I like the convenience of the in App automatic payment. If something happened and I was without cash or cards, I could still get around with my phone. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I’m happy to report that an online passport manager like LastPass is a lifesaver at home and in my travels. I’ve used the Autofill features on my phone and laptop before but have always had hiccups when I switched to a new phone or maybe I’m using Chrome on my laptop and Safari on my phone and the password was only saved on one but not the other. And changing passwords was painful because it didn’t update everywhere. I finally hit my pain point when I launched a new business a couple years ago. I had to spend a bit of time adding all my major accounts. Now it’s easier to keep up with since I use LastPass at the same time that I set up a new online account. I also use the notes section to save my credit card info. If I’m making a purchase online while I travel, I can access everything I need even if I don’t have the card physically on me. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
You know that emergency contact line you fill out on forms? It’s typically a family member, a significant other or friend. If I’m traveling that person is probably asleep and not really able to help me. Turns out money solves a lot of problems and lack of access to it creates a whole host of new ones. I have the contact number of every credit and debit card I travel with programmed into my phone. I try to have some local currency ahead of my trip but have often times waited until I’ve arrived to withdraw cash from an ATM. This is so convenient unless your card is blocked. What if you need money to leave the airport? You get to the car rental counter and your card is declined. An unfamiliar attempt can flag the fraud protection algorithm to place a hold on the card. And if I need to submit a travel notice, I can easily take a few minutes before boarding to call the numbers that are already programmed into my phone. I don’t even need to dig the cards out. I also have all my frequent flyer membership numbers saved in my contacts to make spontaneous flight arrangements. These are actually the contacts I end up looking up most while I travel. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
The most important travel document you can have is your passport. It’s your responsibility to verify that you meet the entry criteria including visa requirements. Most international travel requires that you have at least 6 months validity after your departure and two blank pages remaining on your passport. I always take a picture and email it to myself. My aunt recently misplaced hers the day before her flight back to the states. We called the US embassy in Dublin right away to get an appointment. She ended up finding it but the earliest appointment we could get was actually after her flight was scheduled to leave so she would have missed her flight. Ireland has some of the strictest entry requirements in Europe apart from perhaps Russia which requires an invitation letter. I was asked to show proof of sufficient funds, a return ticket, my accommodations and what I planned to do by officials in Ireland. You can be refused entry if you fail to sufficiently demonstrate your travel intent to immigration officials. It’s been the most aggressive line of questioning I’ve been subjected to from the roughly 20 European countries I’ve visited. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
When I’m traveling, I try to bring the smallest things that will still get the job done. In the case of a wallet, I use a slim cardholder that carries my ID, a debit card and my transport card which is really common in Europe. They call it the LEAP card in Dublin, an Oyster card in London, the OV chip card in Amsterdam. The card is pre-laoded with pay as you go credit to spend on public transit. It’s often the best fare available. I usually just keep my credit card in my phone case since I don’t take my purse to the gym and hate not being able to run to the store afterwards. In Europe, I run into plenty of situations that require actual cash and coins, bathrooms for example. So I’ve gotten use to having a coin purse in Europe. I also have a simple slim single zipper wristlet that I use to hold currency that I’m not using. This summer I mostly used euros but I also needed pounds for my time in the UK. Having the extra wristlet helped to keep me organized. In the past, I’ve also been able to separate my funds for the day from the rest of my cash. This was a lifesaver the one time I was pickpocketed by gypsies in Italy. They took my daily funds but thankfully I still had a small stash set aside. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I use Bare Minerals makeup. It doesn’t make me breakout which is my biggest concern with cosmetics. I also like that I can travel with it since it’s all in powder form: the concealer, foundation, blush, eyeshadow, finishing powder, etc. But I hated having to dig through a makeup bag to find what I needed. Until I found the Lay&Go Cosmo Cosmetic Bag. It’s washable if something spills inside. And it lays out to about a 20” diameter. The lip around the edge keeps things from rolling off the counter into a toilet, wet sink or trashcan. It has elastic brush holders for my travel brushes and a small zippered interior storage pocket that I usually keep a pair of tweezers and some strips of double stick fashion tape to prevent minor wardrobe malfunctions in. And when I’m done, the drawstring closure makes it quick and easy to pack away. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I used to carry all my travel toiletries including makeup in one bag, the Victorinox Lexicon 2.0 Truss Hanging Toiletry Kit. That was before all the airport security restrictions on liquids. It’s still in excellent condition which is a testament to that bag’s materials and quality. Even the hanging hook does not have one loose stitch despite carrying quite the load over the years. I used to just keep my liquids in a one quart ziplock in the main compartment but having to unzip the flap all the way to take the liquids bag out for TSA screening made it less appealing for a high volume of travel. I now have 3 bags instead of 1: a separate makeup bag. then a dry bag for solids like cleansing bars and deodorant, facial cleansing cloths, dry shampoo, q-tips, etc.. And a third super basic bag that basically fits a one quart ziplock bag for liquids in it, I keep that one in my personal bag for easy access and TSA screening. Once I pass security, I’ll toss it in my carry-on. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I ask every hair dresser who cuts my hair what their advice is on keeping my hair healthy. They all say to wash it as little as possible. I had one hairdresser recommend only washing it once a week. I’ve gone from being a daily hair washer to twice a week. When I’m super active, it’s every other day. I use dry shampoo on the roots to help me bridge the gap. The only one I can recommend is the Oscar Blandi Pronto Dry Shampoo Powder. Sadly, I fear it’s been discontinued so I’m clinging to the last of this precious powder. The spray version of the same brand does not work well nor do any of the other aerosol versions I’ve tried. I’ve tried at least a dozen at all price points, no bueno. My other travel must have is a rockstar hair treatment. I discovered Nexuss Keraphix Damage Healing Treatment Masque last year and it’s fabulous. I can get about three treatments out of each packet. I’ll disperse a few packets throughout my luggage and have never needed to include it in the one quart ziplock liquids bag that TSA limits us to. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
If you open my cabinets at home, you’ll see an avalanche of skincare products. I love them all. But when I travel, I find that I need to be able to have the option to not check my bag which means limiting the amount of liquids I bring. I’ll often bring a Dove Beauty Bar instead of body wash. This also works great for hand-washing underwear in a pinch. This summer I switched to a bath bar from Whole Foods, one that I could read and understand most of the ingredients. Ireland and most of Europe carry the brands I’ve become accustomed to but one of my favorite luxuries that I always manage to find space for are the Bliss lemon+sage french milled bars that the W Hotels carry. During my recent 11 day tour through Europe where we were in a different hotel practically every night, I used the ROC Daily Resurfacing Facial Disks. I could easily get 2 uses out of each pad. Once to wash my face at night and then the next morning before checking out. These small substitutes help to make room for the serums, moisturizers, and sun block that I consider essentials. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Last year in May of 2018 I visited Turkey for the first time. I discovered these lovely cotton Turkish towels in a rainbow of colors at the bazaar. I mustered up my bargaining skills and courage and went to bat for a few beauties. My favorite one is a thinner yellow striped one. If I have a little extra space, I make sure to include it. When I was caught off guard by cooler weather a few days in Turkey, I used it as a wrap. If I’m on a flight that is short of blankets, it does extra duty as a blanket. Even some of the private hostel rooms I stayed in this summer didn’t include a towel so it was nice to have my own. Since it’s thinner than the plushy ones at home, it dries quickly. It’s been my go to workout bag towel for drying off after a shower at the gym. I’ve also used it as a beach towel for hotter destinations. This summer I used it as a picnic blanket. I also travel with a velcro wrap and having both keeps everything neat and compact. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Even though it’s summertime in Europe, Ireland can still be quite chilly and wet. The warmest month this year was probably July. Outside of that, I did need lots of layers. These are the jackets I brought with me this year. The one I got the most mileage out of was my denim jacket with pockets from Zara. it’s a little boxier but I really liked how roomy the interior pockets were. I could stick a water bottle in there if I needed to. Sometimes if I went to a concert and wanted to be bag free, this was the ideal jacket. The other indispensable layer was my North Face slim profile vest with zip pockets. This was so easy to layer and gave me the extra warmth that I needed. I also brought a beige microfiber midi-length trench coat from Zara. It’s unlined which helps for packing but it still looks more polished for nicer occasions. When it’s really cold, like when I first got to Ireland in May, I would wear all my layers. I keep a lightweight pink raincoat from Dunnes at my sister’s place in Dublin since it’s the only place I travel to that rains that much. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I always bring a swimsuit when I travel for the beach or for the pool. At the gym I’ve joined in Dublin, they have a nice sauna which I can take advantage of. I keep them in a wet bag with a pair of swim goggles which is a waterproof bag that keeps the rest of my belongings dry in case my bikini doesn’t dry before I have to pack and move on. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Another thing I like to have when I travel is a pair of flips flops for going to the beach or pool. Sanuks are my favorite for actually having to walk around and go to the beach. The thicker foot bed provides a bit of cushioning and support for my feett. And I like having a fabric strap that doesn’t chafe my toes. The downside of all this is that they’re slower to dry. But for Ireland, it’s not really beach weather here so I’ve switched to a pair of Ipanema flip flops which I mostly wear to the gym as shower shoes. They have a slimmer profile making them a better fit for my gym tote and they dry instantly. I wouldn’t want to actually walk around in them for very long but they’re great to slip into once you get to your hotel room and your feet want to escape your shoes. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
My favorite brand of socks are Smartwool. They are the most durable. I get the Smartwool secret sleuth no show socks. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
One of the most indispensable things whether I’m traveling or not are a good pair of sunglasses. Don’t go too cheap here because you want the UVA and UVB protection. My favorite pair of Diors probably lasted 10 years. A couple summers ago I picked up a pair of Benjees at a farmers market in LA. They’re made from sustainable bamboo and the main selling point is that they float. So if they get knocked off in the water, I have a chance of recovering them. Mine are made from a recycled skateboard. Another thing that I find important in glasses are spring hinges for fit and comfort. I don’t wear a hat much in LA but with my dark tresses I absolutely need one for Europe in the summertime. I love a wide-brimmed hat in a light or neutral color. My favorite one was packable and had a chin strap which made it perfect for bike rides and boat rides. That one finally succumbed to one of my many adventures and blew off in the Adriatic sea but it had a great run. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
One of my best buys while traveling has been a collapsible matte vinyl orange tote. I found it a shop in Barcelona for 10 euros. I assumed it would fall apart after one summer but now I’ve had it for at least 5 years. It lays fairly flat but it still has some structure to it. I’ve used it as a beach bag, a pool bag, a gym bag. A couple things that I really like about it are the faux leather handles which make it more comfortable on my shoulders and the full zipper on top so that it can be closed all the way. The matte vinyl texture means I can wipe it down. I’ve spilled entire water bottles in there, had food leak out of containers and sand all over the bottom. I can easily wipe it down and let it dry. This summer it’s been my daily gym tote, I can fit a towel and shower toiletries and find things because it has a bit of structure to it. I bought a Gaudi inspired printed tote a few summers ago but the handles ripped out where they were attached to the bag after one season. So back to my orange tote. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
When I travel, I usually opt for a crossbody bag. It’s important to be hands free but keep a few essentials on my person at all times. I wanted to find the smallest crossbody purse that still had an exterior pocket for my phone, arguably the one thing that I reach for most. An interior pocket for a few cards and then space for glasses, passport, boarding pass, phone battery pack and cord. I found a cheap off-white one on Amazon that still had just enough space for some lip balm and a small container of mints too. I decided to bring a nicer, roomier twig colored Elizabeth and James saddle bag purse with a crossbody strap this summer. My sister and brother-in-law got a car since my last visit. I would carry a backpack often last summer because I needed to always have a raincoat and umbrella handy for Ireland’s fast-changing weather. Now I can usually get away with leaving my jacket or umbrella in the car. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I’ve had a variety of transit day outfits. A go to outfit that is comfortable and well-suited for the days that I am flying or on a train. It feels effortless because it’s one less thing to think about. Last year I noticed that I much prefer dresses in my daily routine and wanted to find a dress that could handle these transit days. I found a Tory Burch dress. It's almost a perfect travel dress. The bright multicolored batik flower print camouflages small stains. It’s sleeveless and easy to throw a jacket on. It requires no special undergarments or none at all really. It has a side zipper. Dresses with a back zipper can sometimes be uncomfortable and press into the back sitting or lying on it. The fabric is a lovely breathable cotton with just enough weight to keep wrinkles at bay. It’s a bit of a mumu shape, the loose flowy style is not fussy but manages to still feel chic. Tea length is ideal, long enough to be covered and protected but not tripping over it. And just like my travel loafers, it goes well from airplane to roaming the city to dinner at a nice restaurant. If I had one wish, it would be that it had pockets. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
A couple years ago I started taking pictures of every outfit I wanted to bring on my summer trip including the purse, shoes, belt, hat, sweater or jacket and any accessories in an attempt to anticipate and prepare for a wide range of activities. That album was Europe 2017. Anything that could only be used once, I would leave behind. All the pieces had to work well together. This is the premise of a capsule wardrobe. I was in Europe for almost 2 months, 9 countries, lots of nice dinners and a wedding. I had five belts to remember and I grabbed all the correct ones since it was easy to consult the album. I made another album for Europe 2018. My base was Dublin where it was chillier but whenever I would hop over to the Mediterranean, it was a breeze to scan through the album for warmer outfits and pack quickly. This year I consulted last year’s album and noticed what I wore often and what stayed on the sidelines so I made adjustment for this summer since I was back in Dublin visiting family. I was also coming in May when it was still quite cold by LA standards so I added more layers which I definitely needed. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
A couple years ago I started taking pictures of every outfit I wanted to bring on my summer trip including the purse, shoes, belt, hat, sweater or jacket and any accessories in an attempt to anticipate and prepare for a wide range of activities. That album was Europe 2017. Anything that could only be used once, I would leave behind. All the pieces had to work well together. This is the premise of a capsule wardrobe. I was in Europe for almost 2 months, 9 countries, lots of nice dinners and a wedding. I had five belts to remember and I grabbed all the correct ones since it was easy to consult the album. I made another album for Europe 2018. My base was Dublin where it was chillier but whenever I would hop over to the Mediterranean, it was a breeze to scan through the album for warmer outfits and pack quickly. This year I consulted last year’s album and noticed what I wore often and what stayed on the sidelines so I made adjustment for this summer since I was back in Dublin visiting family. I was also coming in May when it was still quite cold by LA standards so I added more layers which I definitely needed. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Typically the thing that takes up the most space when you travel is shoes. For short trips, I can get away with just a pair of loafers. I have a pair of blue and white nautical Sperry boat shoes and a pair of beige Coach loafers. One of them makes it on just about every trip. It’s my preferred travel shoe because it can go from airport, to a city stroll, to a museum, to dinner at a restaurant. They are easy to slip on and off but completely close toed. But since this was a longer trip, I brought a pair of white mesh Sketchers. This slip on stretch laced sporty casual comfort sneaker design was suitable for my workouts and trekking around the Emerald Isles. There were times when it would have been nice to have a waterproof bootie but I opted for shoes that I could wash instead. I soak the stains in OxiClean powder when they get trashed and toss them in the wash. I also like to have a pair of sandals. I like a pair of white sandals with a back strap so they don’t slip off. Comfortable enough to wander around in but nice enough to wear to dinner. Last summer I had a lovely pair of white Ralph Lauren wedges. Cork footbed, leather T-strap with buckle closure. This summer I’m trying out a suede nude color wedge sandal. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
If you’re going to be somewhere longer than a week, I recommend finding a local gym or studio that’s similar to your home routine. Ask around for a trial pass. I have a summer membership to Westwood gym here in Dublin which has served as the hub for my European travels this summer. I packed one workout outfit. A Champion sports bra, some Puma capri leggings, a quick dry top, and a colorful lightweight bandana headband. I aim to get in about 4 days a week but even if I get in one or two, I’m still happy. I don’t drive in Europe. Public transportation is more widely used and accessible here so I walk considerably more here than back in the states. In the past I’ve joined gyms, dance and yoga studios in Barcelona and other places. When I was in Lebanon, I led mindfulness and coaching workshops at a wellness hub that I also took yoga lessons at. When I get back home, I’m in the same shape I was when I left if not better. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I know this may sound contradictory but I don’t travel well or better put I don’t fly well. I’m normally in good health and may catch a cold about once a year. But flying physically takes a huge toll and my body responds poorly. My stomach and sinuses experience discomfort. I tend to get sick every time I fly. So now I put myself on a little Vitamin C regimen. I’ve used Airbone, EmergenC and the Whole Foods 365 Vitamin C brand. I find that if I take one the day before, the day of and the day after I fly that it’s helped me. I’m not going to argue about the efficacy of these supplements. And perhaps, it’s completely anecdotal but I no longer get sick every time I fly. I also adopt the Vitamin C regimen if I’m moving around and not able to settle into a place for at least a few days. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I love the reusable foldable bags from Envirosax. They are so light, easy to wash, quick to dry and roll up easily. I keep one in my purse, tote, backpack or gym bag at all times. They take up very little space and weigh next to nothing. But they are strong, incredible weight capacity. Mine have withstood multiple trips to the market. The small snap to keep it rolled, thoughtful touch. The solid stitching, materials and construction has made me a fan. Sometimes it’s warmer than I expected and then I have a bag to hold my jacket and water bottle. I’m usually out doing something else and then figure why not pick up something on the way home. It’s so convenient and effortless to have a bag handy. Besides the obvious shopping, I also use mine to put in snacks, water, reading material or whatever I want easy access to during a flight so I can leave my carry-on in the overhead compartment. The first bag I ever got was a fun artsy black and white pattern from the gift shop at the Natural History Museum in Los Angeles. I was so sad when it went missing but have loved my new ones. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Today I want to share about the accessories I brought along for the summer. Scarf A scarf is indispensable. Even if the weather is warm, it usually cools off in the evening or some places blast the air conditioning. Pick one that breathes well and feels wonderful on your neck. Mine is from a boutique in Barcelona. Watch A watch. Yes, there is a clock on your phone but the temptation to dive into your phone keeps you from being present when all you need is a way to check the time not your notifications. My last one died in a sauna in Helsinki so I just bought a rose gold mesh band watch on my last Ryanair flight. Earrings I like classic earrings but when I travel I’ll pick up a fun, trendy pair. My favorite was a white fringe pair last summer from For Love & Lemons. So light and chic. A Necklace I’ve been wearing a simple moonstone pendant on a light rose gold chain from Jessicamrocks. I never take it off. A Bracelet. My favorite for years was a wooden bangle. Last year I found a couple super cheap beads and baubles in Turkey in wonderful colors that really popped. I have a cream cuff this year. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
At the top of my travel essentials list is a sleep mask for my eyes. Throw in a pair of ear plugs and I can sleep on the plane or anywhere really. I’ve been using a Bucky Ultralight Contoured Sleep Mask. The front and back fabric isn’t stitched to the center foam so eventually they all start to fall apart. I wish it was more durable. What I really like about it is the contoured shape which allows you to open your eyes without your eyelashes hitting the mask. I also like that it fits my face well. I have a small nose with a low bridge and most other masks let in too much light around the nose area but the design of this one conforms much better to my face. There is an adjustable strap that is velcro. One of my complaints is that the velcro catches in my hair. I recently got a new sleep mask that adjusts without velcro which I love. But the contour cups aren’t as deep as I prefer so I’m still searching for the perfect contoured adjustable no-velcro sleep mask. Please send me your recommendation if you have a favorite that meets all my criteria. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I love traveling. I don’t treat it so much as a vacation as I do an extension of my normal life somewhere else. I’ve integrated travel into my lifestyle. This year I was fortunate enough to string together 3 months this summer. I’ve become quite the expert packer. Throughout August, I’ll be sharing my must haves and favorite websites and apps for travel planning. I define my style as slow travel like slow food. I do what I would normally do at home like find restaurants and activities I enjoy and along the way I happen to run across the cathedrals, castles and museums. I avoid blitzkrieg style cramming every tourist highlight into as many hours of the day as possible. I want to sit at a cafe losing track of time enjoying my espresso while I people watch. I typically travel in the summer or to warmer climates which means I can pack light. And since I’ve been spending more time in Europe than Asia, I find that I enjoy having a more put-together wardrobe, I have a more casual beach friendly wardrobe when I’m in hot humid tropical weather. Stay tuned to find out what I brought with me and what I used most for 3 months in Europe in the summer. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
A sense of belonging is a human need like food and shelter. If close, connected relationships are so vital to our well-being, it’s shocking we never receive a proper education on how to relate to others better. Ohana is an idea in Hawaiian culture. It means family in the wider sense…close relatives, distant relatives, in-laws, friends, neighbors. The idea that people are bound together and everyone must work together and not forget each other. Ohana means no one gets left behind. The two major challenges in maintaining close personal relationships are neglect and not dealing constructively with conflict. Here are some proactive ways to attend to your relationships. Take time and make it fun. Be present by taking a break from your worries. Express appreciation, this is one of the most nurturing and absent things in relationships. Listen and make an effort to understand the other point of view. Learn to communicate needs respectfully without nagging, exploding or with passive aggressive sulking. Apologize when you have hurt someone and learn to forgive quickly. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Social interaction is essential to your well-being. It’s not really about the size, but staying connected. It helps to ward off loneliness which is a state of mind when a person feels isolated, empty or unwanted. You can feel lonely in a crowded room when you don’t feel connected to anything. From the US Surgeon General: social isolation is as bad for your health as smoking. A rich social network provides sources of support, reduces stress, combats depression and enhances intellectual stimulation. Those with the most social interaction with their community experience the slowest rate of memory decline. Steady social contact protects cognitive function as you age. Good relationships with family, friends, colleagues and in your community can be a source of inspiration as well as comfort during periods of physical, professional or personal crisis. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Playing is fun. It also reduces stress, improves brain function, stimulates the mind and boosts creativity, improves relationships and your connection to others, keeps you feeling young and energetic. To play means to engage in an activity for enjoyment and recreation. During childhood play, kids learn about verbal communication, body language, boundaries, cooperation and teamwork. I think some of us stopped playing a little too soon! In adults play teaches cooperation with others and can heal emotional wounds. Developing a playful nature can help you handle stressful situations with humor, break the ice with strangers, make new friends and form new business relationships. Playfulness is an outlook that is the cornerstone of mental well-being. It’s part of light-hearted daydreaming for relaxation. It’s the positive and hopeful outlook that fuels resilience, the curiosity that catalyzes learning. It’s the energy that fuels creative expression. The ability to play is critical not only to being happy, but also to sustaining social relationships and being a creative, innovative person. https://www.inscapeconsulting.com/2018/08/renewing-yourself-%E2%80%A8the-power-of-play/ Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Art comforts, elevates the spirit and affirms life and hope. Consider creativity a wellness practice. The arts are important for our lives because beauty has a powerful role. When we are involved in creativity, we feel that we are living more fully than during the rest of life. Creativity produces mental wealth. Let’s take a look at just one of the arts. Music. Music impacts brain function by reducing stress, pain and symptoms of depression as well as improving cognitive and motor skills, spatial-temporal learning and neurogenesis, which is the brain’s ability to produce neurons. Musical training strengthens the brain’s executive function. Executive function covers critical tasks like processing and retaining information, controlling behavior, making decisions and problem solving. After James Allison, a scientist and musician, won the 2018 Nobel Peace Prize in Medicine for a major breakthrough in cancer research, he shared, "My lab has been so well-tuned it feels like a really good band.” After I read about his approach in the lab, I couldn’t help but hear the music improvisation. He hadn’t consciously known where he was going with all of this experimentation and suddenly they had arrived at a result that had cured cancer in mice. https://www.wired.com/story/meet-jim-allison-the-texan-who-just-won-a-nobel-cancer-breakthrough/ https://www.wired.com/story/tech-effects-how-does-music-affect-your-brain/ Einstein had a mind that came up with some ideas that would have to wait 100 years to be proven correct. Einstein was an accomplished violinist. He thought about science in terms of images and intuitions often drawn from his experience as a musician. Then later converted these into logic, words and mathematics. He wanted his science to be unified, harmonious, expressed simply and to convey a sense of beauty in form. It’s your authentic expression through art making, music, song, movement, writing and other forms of art-based imagination that makes creativity central to a wellness practice. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
If you can exercise your body to make your muscles and heart stronger, how do you exercise your mind to make it more powerful? Learn a new skill. Learning a new skill takes focus and concentration. Find something that really interests you that you can deeply engage in. New hobbies like painting or pottery. Learn a new language or take classes. Activities that improve your attention are good for your brain. Reading, board games, playing instruments, dancing lessons. My dad loves to play mahjong. I’ve even used youtube to learn a few new things. How to fold napkins for fun holiday table settings. Different ways to wear scarves which I’ve never truly mastered. One of my favorites was learning how to tie a proper bow for a dress. I had to write each step down, then change it to the mirror image so I could tie something on myself, practiced and then memorized the steps. This exercising of the brain creates a cognitive reserve, this is the brain’s ability to adapt. Seeking to satisfy our innate curiosity supports keeping our brains agile. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficult situations. One way to develop resilience is to find the positive. One time I dozed off on a train in Sicily and got off one stop early. It appeared this stop was in the middle of nowhere. I went to the board to read the schedule. The next train was in an hour. With nothing to do but wait, I nudged myself to play the positivity game. Luckily it was not the last train. I remembered I had a half eaten cannoli I could not finish. I sat down and took a bite. I was in Italy, sitting outside under the shade on a nice summer day enjoying the best cannoli in the world. I felt like the luckiest person and indeed I was. Sure it’s easy with something small but what about something big? Well that’s why you practice with the small things so that when something big comes along you’ll already have the neural pathways and programming in place and small things stay small instead of accumulating. So when the taxi driver overcharged me for the ride to the hotel, I handed him half the amount and said with a smile, I know this will cover it. He accepted with a sheepish, Bella. I had the humor to handle it that way because despite my exhaustion, I was in good mental form. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Is TV a good way to relax? Let’s get into some neuroscience. The brain needs a break because humans are only wired to be focused on a specific task for an hour or two before the mind gets fatigued and can’t absorb new info. Beta brain waves are present when the mind is alert and focused and alpha waves when the mind is relaxed, free to wander or daydream. Take that break at work because the alpha state is when the brain is processing, storing memories to make room for more info and making new connections that spark creative ideas. The brain is in a limbo state when watching tv - neurons are firing but the mind is not actually engaged. The brain isn’t fully relaxed but it’s not being exercised ether. Television provides an escape but the relaxation ends when the set is turned off, feelings of passivity continue. People have more difficulty concentrating after viewing TV but rarely feel that way after reading. Improvement in mood was reported after playing sports or engaging in hobbies. After watching TV, moods were the same or worse. So think of tv as a treat like a candy bar. Fine in small doses but it’s not meant to be a meal. It’s not the most satisfying form of relaxation and it can be addictive. On average, US adults watch 4-5 hours a day. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/3daqaj/is-watching-tv-actually-a-good-way-to-rest-your-brain Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Relaxation is the emotional state in which there is an absence of arousal from sources like anger, anxiety or fear. This state is required for mental and physical health. In the same way that you need a physical off switch like sleep for your body to regenerate. You need some time everyday during your waking hours that your mind can be free and relaxed. During my freshman year in college, I became so ill that I had to drop an entire semester. My waking hours were scheduled from 6 or 7am until midnight in 15 minute increments. I had 3 meals a day, exercised regularly and just barely enough sleep scheduled. One day I became woozy and had to go to the doctor. The doctor didn’t look into why I was suddenly ill. What he did tell me was that my blood test indicated I had become severely anemic. My red blood cell count was so low that if I did not reduce my workload I would die. I look back now and see that I had no mental rest and become tolerant of such a high level of anxiety that I wasn’t able to comprehend how much stress I was putting on myself and my body. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
For the past three weeks, I’ve been talking about the basics of physical well-being. The body is a container that also holds our brains and mental well-being. Mental well-being is having the capacity to live a full and creative life, and having the flexibility to deal with life's ups and downs. It's all about resilience. It involves our thoughts and our feelings. It requires an awareness of our feelings and emotions, as well as the feelings of others. It also includes the capacity to manage feelings and related behaviors. This awareness helps us to have satisfying relationships and to cope with stress. Since everything is connected, let’s spend the rest of the week expanding on brain and mental health. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Exercise is about creating energy and flow in your life. Being strong enough to support you in all the things you may want to experience. It creates movement that allows you to truly live. It’s wonderful to have aesthetic goals but unless you’re a professional bodybuilder or model where your income is attached to your physique, have the self-awareness to realize that aesthetics are an exterior benefit. You want to look and feel good in and out of your clothes. That’s a positive and I absolutely encourage that because it allows you to engage in and enjoy intimacy with your partner. True health is about being able to pick up and play with your kids if you’re a parent. Taking a dip in the sea or walking to that gorgeous vista while on holiday and having the endurance to enjoy the beauty around you. Moving through life with ease and grace. One time I was locked out of my house. I used my climbing skills to shimmy along a terrace wall and then my balancing skills to get across the railing and finally a solid jump down with a bounce to protect my knees. Being fit let me do this with confidence. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Let’s talk about habits and behaviors that will encourage positive movement in your life. Make one friend that is a passionate fitness junkie. Why? Because they will talk about it so much that it will drive your focus in that direction. More importantly, their action and results will inspire you. Enlist a friend with similar goals for accountability. For example, I was doing a new glute routine with a friend. We were squat buddies. I would do 10 squats and then text her, she would do 10 and text me. Over the course of a day, we were able to get up to our rep goal of 100 per day. Attach movement to something you already do like going to the restroom. During the squat challenge, I would actually do 10 squats every time I went to the washroom. If you live or work in a building with stairs, take them. Get off the train one stop early. Keep extra shoes at the office. It’s about designing your life so that physically activity feels seamless. Plan ahead. Have everything ready to go the day before. Gym bag, shower caddy and change of clothes if you need to go straight to the office or have a lunchtime workout planned. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
What if you’re unhappy with the way you look? Do you get lean or muscled up first or do you get happy first? Do you change the way you look to be happy or do you change how you feel about yourself so that you have the proper motivation to change the way you look? It can feel like a chicken and egg issue. True transformation falls somewhere in the middle, you do both simultaneously. Find reasons to love yourself that have nothing to do with the way you look. This gives you a cushion when life throws you a curveball. Perhaps a life change or injury that modifies your body shape. Sometimes it’s just age, every decade your body will likely observe a small shift. There are some very beautiful, very unhappy people that create all sorts of chaos in their lives because of self-destructive patterns stemming from self-loathing, the inability to give or receive unconditional love and an under-nourished soul. Body image is a picture you paint of yourself and it has nothing to do with how you actually look. It’s the way you apply the brush strokes. Do so with love and kindness. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Do you have the self-discipline to work out no matter what your surroundings are like? I can gut it out once or twice but I can’t summon the energy to sustain that for very long. I love to be inspired in all things so why not include my workouts. This means having the right equipment. Get a yoga mat that doesn’t slip. Buy appropriate footwear. Get two outfits of breathable fast drying wicking technical fabrics. You can wash one and wear one since they dry overnight. I love colorful hairbands to keep the hair off my face. Use elastic hair ties that won’t damage your hair. I work harder when I look the part. If you don’t know what activities you like yet, borrow or rent. I have a rule that I can’t buy new gear until I’ve stuck with a hobby for at least 30 days. I built my lifestyle so that I was 4 blocks from work most of my career which means I walked on a daily basis. It takes longer for me to get my car than walk to the grocery store. If you can’t do that, join the nicest workout facility you can afford. Not because it’s the nicest, because it’s the one you want to go to most. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
A study with findings that exercise is more important to your mental health than money made a splash recently. It did note that there was a diminishing return. Between 30-60 minutes a day was ideal. Those that worked out beyond 3 hours a day suffered more than those that weren’t that active. Take comfort that you do not need to be a professional athlete to be happy. Build up your endurance with moderate to vigorous aerobic activity or cardio. Use the talk test. Moderate-intensity means you’re breathing hard but can still have a conversation. If you can only say a few words before you have to take a breath, that’s vigorous-intensity. Include muscle-strengthening activity. These are movements that work your muscles as they move against resistance like weights or push-ups. Even heavy gardening with lots of digging and shoveling counts. Increase your flexibility with stretching or yoga to protect yourself from injury and improve your posture. Balance is also a key component of fitness and this can be as simple as standing on one leg. We live in a society that says more is always better. Let’s remember goldilocks and shift to "just right" is best! https://health.gov/MoveYourWay/Activity-Planner/activities/ https://www.businessinsider.com/exercise-makes-you-happier-than-money-says-yale-and-oxford-study-2019-4?r=US&IR=T
If you’re new to exercise or an activity, you’ll have to accept that the beginning is just that. Good for you for trying. If you could love being bad at something for 30 tries, you’d have the basic skills for just about any activity in 30 days. You won’t have the muscle memory. So you’re not the kid who grew up skateboarding who then picks up surfing quickly as a teen. By the time you try snowboarding in college, you’re flying down a black diamond slope. You’re the person whose body is going to pull back instead of lean in when you look down that hill and you’re going to fall hard on your bum. It’s going to hurt. We all start somewhere. I did not play any of the ball sports growing up. My hand eye coordination is terrible. Being mindful means understanding it’s going to take me longer to enjoy it. I won’t have the basic skills right away to have a good game so I need to stick with it and come in with a good attitude. You also won’t know when to stop and when to go. That comes with experience which you only get by doing. Soreness will eventually become manageable, even welcome because you’ll know just how hard to push. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
If you just want to lose weight, changing your diet is most effective. If you want to shape your body and improve your mind, you’ll have to get moving. I’m gearing this week towards those of you who hate exercise. If you enjoy it, then you’re probably already doing it. Get curious about the world. Find activities that require you to physically engage. Feel free to think outside the box. Art fanatic? Go to museums. Like real estate? Go to open houses. If you like flowers, wander around Lowe's Garden Center. DIY junkie? The Ikea route. I love a good adventure. My entry into fitness was reliant on hobbies that I wanted to try. Scuba diving, white water rafting, rock climbing, mountain biking, skiing, snowboarding, surfing, traveling, dancing. I love being tricked into working out. Wanting to get better at the activities I enjoyed encouraged me to improve my fitness. Now I have a regular rotation of weight classes, yoga, pilates, spin in the mix. It’s maintenance. So when I do finally go on that bike ride through the french country side I won’t pass out. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
There’s a lot to be said about what you should or should not eat but each person has their own individual needs to support their body’s daily activities. When you have a good relationship with food, there’s very little to overhaul because you continually make minor adjustments based on your body’s changing needs. You eat with ease. Having a good relationship with food is tied to having a good relationship with your body. You’ll naturally want to do what makes your body feel good including exercise. True or False? You can be in excellent health without having a complicated meal and exercise plan. Absolutely! If you’re currently living on processed food and added sugar and have a completely sedentary life, sure, you’ll need help and accountability to replace those bad habits. But you’re going to have to believe that your body and ultimately you deserve the best that you can deliver. I notice that I tend to eat better when I’m working out. And while I can’t explain all the reasons, they support one another. My mind and body experience action and it reinforces both sides to do better. Perhaps you find exercise appalling. Stay tuned this week about how to keep moving. https://www.sciencealert.com/here-s-why-more-exercise-makes-you-crave-a-healthier-diet Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Let’s talk about having good eating habits. Your meal times might be set by circumstance, a fixed lunch time at work or set dinner time with the family and not by your hunger level. Know the difference between snacks and treats and plan accordingly. When you are having a snack, it’s to manage your hunger. I will often have a snack before I go out to dinner. Why? Because it can be an hour before fork hits mouth from the time everyone arrives until food is on the table. I get hangry. Have healthy snacks available. I always have eggs, bananas and apples on hand. When you are having a treat like at the movies, enjoy it. But since it’s not to manage hunger, you don’t have to finish it. I look at my schedule for the week and do some meal planning so I can grocery shop accordingly. How many meals are at home? How many meals are out? This prevents me from being overstuffed or famished. Lots of big meals out on the calendar? I may skip breakfast or lunch. If I see that I’ll miss a meal because I’m in transit, I’ll pack some healthy snacks. Pistachios are my go to. And if I’m caught off guard by a random surprise, I practice self-compassion. I do my best and then forget about it. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Eating rituals are behaviors that encourage positive eating. I recommend always eating on a plate and with cutlery. I throw some of my nice china in the mix as a reminder that every day can be a special day. It’s a reminder of my good fortune. Even when I have takeout, I transfer it to a plate or bowl. Sit down, slow down. It’s hard to gauge a portion size when you’re eating out of a container. Another fun ritual is plating my food. Making it look pretty also encourages eating a greater range of nutrients, eat the rainbow. A great example is a Nicoise salad. The french understand that you eat with your eyes too. Salad with green beans, purple onion, red tomatoes, white and yellow eggs, brown olives. Setting the table is a ritual that signals the food is almost ready. If you have small kids or friends over, have them help. Transferring things like olive oil and vinegar into lovely cruets or salt and pepper into special grinders. Keep fresh herbs on hand for last minute garnishing. Clip some flowers from the garden for the table. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
How to optimize your eating environment. For starters, don’t keep problematic foods in the house. Minimize eating distractions. Step away from your desk and move to the break room. If you work from home, close your laptop. Put your phone on airplane mode. Screen time encourages mindless eating. Set out a placemat at your dining table or breakfast bar and have a proper meal. Have nice dishes and cutlery that you want to use. When I worked in an office, I also kept a complete place setting for myself at work. It’s a lot easier to know what your body requires when you’ve learned to serve yourself consistent portions over time. Use your plates and bowls to teach yourself what a serving looks like. A single serving of ice cream is only half a cup. I use the smallest bowl. A positive eating environment feels relaxed and inclusive. Meal time is when families converse, exchange ideas, share thoughts and eat. Family meals have been shown to improve nutrient intake, academic success, vocabulary, self-esteem and sleeping habits in children. And if you’re eating alone, learn to enjoy your own company. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Heartfelt eating is about enjoying food with a happy heart. An opportunity for gratitude. Eating is a chance for you to nourish and nurture your being. Recognizing food and eating situations that you find pleasant can help inform your future choices. Following my cravings is not the same thing as emotional eating. I want steak, salmon, salad or fruit is different than trying to soothe unpleasant emotional feelings. If you reach for food when you’re not hungry, something emotional is going on. I invite you to notice that you are reaching for comfort or distraction. Sometimes eating is the activity. One of my favorite things about food is that it can be shared. And the fact that all people eat, means learning how to enjoy meals with others. Don’t be difficult when you eat out. Don’t let your healthy lifestyle interfere with your social life. Flexibility is the willingness to forego a preference temporarily. If someone orders something for the table that doesn’t feel nourishing to you, then don’t eat it. Don’t complain about it. Being overly rigid creates tension in you that makes you unpleasant company. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
The practice of engaging all your senses to guide your eating-related decisions is called mindful eating. Eating without judgment. Food is like money. It is neither good nor bad, it’s how you use it. Your experience of it can change based on how you manage it. If you have a poor body-image, you'll want to exercise a lot of self-compassion. And if you’ve been mentally beating yourself up for a long time, be patient as you adopt new beliefs. Notice your hunger and satiety level. Eat when hungry, stop when satisfied. And keep noticing what you're feeling and thinking when you get to extreme ends of the scale. When you have a healthy relationship with food, this becomes second nature. I’m pretty tuned in now. I had an entire chocolate bar one night after dinner, I didn’t judge it with that was such a bad thing to do. I noticed the sugar craving and thought that probably means I need more protein. Makes sense, I worked out more than usual this week. So I had a bit more protein the next day. All the neurotransmitters you have are derived from diet. My usual thought after eating is, that was good. I feel satisfaction and enjoyment on a regular basis. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Do you have a healthy relationship with food? The freedom to eat anything but still manage to regularly choose foods that make you feel good. The truth about diets? They work. If you follow them to a T. They’re also unsustainable. If you do go on a diet, reframe it as an opportunity to introduce new habits, get outside your comfort zone, adjust your palate or reset your system. I tried Keto for a couple months, bought the little testing strips, tracked my macros zealously and spent a fortune on specialty ingredients. I did not eat out so I turned that into an opportunity to invite friends over for dinner every week. I had at least a half dozen mini multi-course dinner parties to make it more fun. I learned how my body responded and that’s the best way to use a diet, for feedback as information. I missed eating my favorite fruits and veggies. My tastebuds became more sensitive to added sugars and shifted my preference to natural sugars like fruit or honey. The only thing I ended up adopting into my normal life was Rao’s tomato sauce. A healthy relationship with food is about eating to nourish your body not for a shift on the scale. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Eating healthy allows the body to absorb proper nutrients which provides the brain with the chemical environment that it needs to produce the neurotransmitters that it needs to maintain adequate sleep. This is a lesson in moderation. Especially caffeine, alcohol, fat, sugar near bed time. Pay attention to caffeine intake. As for alcohol, not too much and not too close to bed time, when it can interfere with REM sleep the restorative phase. Avoid high fatty foods, you don’t want indigestion. In general, late heavy meals can exacerbate heartburn and acid refliux. Give yourself a couple hours to digest. Limit sugar intake to help keep your energy more consistent during the day. Energy surges and dips can lead to poorly timed naps or reaching for extra caffeine too late in the day. No need to starve yourself, it’s hard to fall asleep if your stomach is grumbling. Stay hydrated during the day but avoid drinking too many fluids after dinner, going to the bathroom all night is disruptive to your sleep. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Developing patterns that honor your circadian rhythm. You want to keep in sync with your body’s natural sleep-wake cycle. Consistency is important here. Try to sleep and wakeup at the same time everyday. Avoid sleeping in too much on weekends and if you nap do so wisely, not too long and not too late in the day. Don’t hit snooze, let the sun in. Get outside during the day if you can. If you’re consistently sleepy, go to bed earlier or set your alarm for later. Circadian rhythms change as we age. There’s an optimum time for every physiological process. Your body clock is designed to burn during the day, then restore at night. The better in sync to that cycle you are, the less wear-and-tear on your circadian clock. Our circadian rhythm keeps our body clock running on time, which in turn keeps all of our bodily functions running on schedule - such as falling asleep at night, waking up in the morning, feeling hungry when we need energy and metabolizing the food we eat. Since diet and food choices also help regulate our circadian rhythm, we’’ll be talking more about that tomorrow. https://endpoints.elysiumhealth.com/the-complete-guide-to-the-science-of-circadian-rhythms-7b78581cbffa Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Developing night time behavior that allows you to disconnect from your daytime responsibilities. It’s like closing all the apps on your phone or the windows on your laptop before you power down. It’s not the time to start opening things up. One of the worst habits is to lay in bed on our phones scrolling through our social media or news feeds. Turn off all your electronics at least one hour before bedtime if you can. Use technology to support your sleep instead. If you have a smart home, program a slumber mode where all the lights dim and the temperature cools down. One of my favorite sleep rituals is to light a candle. Other ideas: Reading, aromatherapy, relaxing music, meditation, lay out an outfit for the next day. No need to be dogmatic, it’s a signal for you to unplug and decompress. You can even reflect, keep a gratitude journal, or make a to-do list so unfinished business doesn't invade your head space at night. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
How can you create a healthy sleeping environment? Think about your bedroom. What is absolutely essential? Can you clear out any distractions? Ideally, no tv, visible work, or electronics. If your current situation requires that your bedroom share other functions, consider a simple curtain or room divider to delineate the sleeping cave portion. Choose a bed frame with adequate support. If it creaks when you move or the headboard rattles, fix it. Find a mattress that is comfortable and firm enough for your back. Get pillows that support your neck alignment. Make sure your linens are clean, the fabric breathes and feels nice on your skin. If you have limited range of temperature control on the room, have a couple of options for covering weight. Also shift the bed or vent so you’re not in the direct line of a draft, it can dry out the mucus membranes in your respiratory system. There’s also light and noise. Blackout shades are optimal but a sleep mask can be a lifesaver if you’re in a room that doesn’t get that dark. And if you’re sleeping with someone who snores, encourage them to get help. Just because it’s common, doesn’t mean it’s healthy. In the meantime, try ear plugs. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Have you noticed that everything related to improving your sleep is about what happens when you are awake? I want you to consider a life of living as an extension of your values and from your heart instead of catching up on the world of should and have-to. Let’s touch on insomnia which is linked to anxiety. Are you having a hard time sleeping because you can’t turn your mind off? Perhaps you can’t even pinpoint the cause or reason. You go to work, you eat, you have friends, you have a normal life. I want to give you some relief. Something in your world doesn’t sit right with you. And you’ve become so tolerant of that condition that you can’t even label the dreadful feeling that’s making it impossible to rest. It’s buried a few layers deep while you stare blankly at the ceiling with rising anxiety as morning approaches. Your spirit needs tending to. I want to give you permission to do some soul searching and give your heart and soul some nourishment. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
How to develop mindful sleep practices that promote deep rest instead of merely chasing sleep. Sleep is a vital part of your relationship with your body and your ego. On a basic level, notice feelings of alertness and drowsiness throughout the day. This is your body’s way of giving you valuable information. But you have to register those sensations first before you can interpret it and use that information. Also notice how your mind views sleep. One of the flaws in western culture is that sometimes we interpret busyness as evidence of importance. We often brag that we’re too busy and wear a lack of sleep as a badge of honor. Let me disabuse you of that notion. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. And if you don’t have a healthy view of sleep, you’ll ignore the signals your body gives you. It’s not about the hours of sleep. If you lack quality, you won’t have healed enough during that time. You won’t have made enough chemicals to keep yourself in good form throughout the day. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
The last two months of sharing travel highlights has been wonderful and gratifying. This month I’d like to get back to basics. Truly foundational elements like sleeping, eating, moving. Lifestyle changes can be powerful. If you manage your lifestyle, medicine and technology could all be secondary for a long time during your life. I want to expand on holistic health. The maintenance model of health instead of the disease treatment model that much of our current healthcare system is predicated on. When is the last time you went to the doctor and they recommended a lifestyle change instead of a prescriptive treatment? If you understand the implications of that, you’ll realize that you are your own best advocate for your health. In the weeks ahead, I’ll be sharing tips on how to sleep, eat and move your way to better health. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #41 Northern Ireland which is part of the UK My first view of Belfast was the Titanic Quarter, the shiny new massive waterfront regeneration. We spent much of the drizzly day at W5 the Science & Discovery Center. During lunch, we found a cafe along the docks where I had my first Belfast bap, a big crusty round bread. I was skeptical about the Titanic Museum but the building is iconic, a true monument. We stayed in the vibrant Cathedral Quarter with it’s restaurants and street art. And took a walkabout that evening when the sun miraculously broke through the clouds, lively pub music spilling out. The next morning I attempted the meat centric Ulster fry at St George’s Market. Then we made our way to the lovely City Hall. Many of the exhibits in the visitor center focus on The Troubles the political and other related conflicts in the late 20th century. I was fascinated with the layers of Belfast history and realized it had won me over completely. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Today’s highlights focus on Lake Como in northern Italy. The lake is shaped like an upside down Y. And at the center is the town of Bellagio. I stayed in the town of Como at the southwest base of the lake. If I had to do it over again, I’d stay somewhere more central like Varenna since I found the ferry schedule for Como to be infrequent and inexact. I would name it ferry ideas: "I’m a ferry and here are some places I might visit today.” I also learned they stop running fairly early so dinner is usually limited to the town you’re staying in. My limited mobility made me feel like Lake Como was a pocket of leisure and wealth. I either needed the leisure of time to visit the other villages or shell out some big bucks for a private water taxi. If you have a group, hiring a boat for a day would be lovely. Cabs are expensive and hard to find. One highlight of Como was a gem of a restaurant I discovered by the train station. Schedule a meal at the lovely Figli dei Fiori. I had an absolutely divine lunch in the charming garden terrace. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Today’s highlights focus on Sicily in Italy. I spent a week here and it was the pinnacle of my European travels last summer. True, the transportation connections haven’t been completely modernized but I’d love to return and explore more. Palermo can feel a bit rough around the edges after Florence but it’s charm was not lost on me. I had my best cannoli here. And then there’s Cefalu. I remember waking up to the sound of the sea and the light streaming through the tiny attic window of my room in a building at the edge of the Mediterranean. And then walking out to the terrace with it’s dramatic seascape, breathtaking way to start the day. Then the star of it all. Siracusa. More specifically Ortigia, the tiny island with even tinier streets making the interior inaccessible by car. Restaurants will line the narrow alleys with tables and you can walk right past to see what everyone is eating as you zigag through. My stay in authentic Giudecca, the Jewish quarter was lovely in every way. Sicily is a place where you can really feel the old world and the tradition. My dream is to come back for a month. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Today’s highlights focus on Florence in the illustrious Tuscany region. Come to the historic center, a pedestrian only zone to experience the cradle of the Renaissance. Long before Bill Gates and Warren Buffet began The Giving Pledge for philanthropic causes. The House of Medici, besides having formidable wealth and political influence, were great patrons of the arts in the 15th century creating a cultural movement and giving rise to a strong artisan tradition that endures to this day. During this period artists including Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci made their works when they received their commissions in advance. One of my favorite meals was at the tiny 24 seat Trattoria Al Tranvai on the south side of the river in the Oltrarno quarter which literally translates to beyond the Arno. Come here to eat with the locals. The fried zucchini flowers and arrabbiata, perfection. I love when my search for food also leads me to the hippest neighborhood in the city. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Today’s highlights focus on the Italian Riviera in Liguria. This area is famous for its olive oil and pasta. Ligurian olive oil is lighter in fragrance, soft and subtle in flavor. I’ve had the pleasure of coming to this region twice. It’s about a 45 minute drive from Nice. My time here was mostly spent lounging around a villa in La Mortola. The Hanbury Botanical Gardens are here - she’s like a lady who hasn’t always had the easiest of times. The views are amazing but the cafe is nothing more than a place for the local cat to rest in and perhaps a quick espresso. Un caffe per favore! https://www.ft.com/content/a006969a-3631-11e7-bce4-9023f8c0fd2e Nearby Ventimiglia has a wonderful open air market right on the boardwalk on Fridays. I’ve had beautiful cheese, cheesecake, pasta and pesto from the markets here. Imagine home made pasta with pesto made by hand with a mortar and pestle. On a final note, there’s Apricale a picturesque hilltop town. I had a simple and perfect meal at Apricale Da Delio, an authentic Italian experience. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Today’s highlights focus on Piedmont or Piemonte in northwest Italy. I loved everything here. The region is famous for Barolo and Barbaresco wine from the nebbiolo grape. Definitely come in truffle season during October to experience Alba’s white truffle fair. The veal here is also fabulous. Bonnie had just completed her residency and we kicked off her celebratory tour of Europe. We flew into Turin and bravely rented a car to eat our way through the Italian countryside. We stayed in an agriturismo which was a real treat. Imagine a converted farmhouse turned bed and breakfast. The low of the trip was getting pickpocketed by gypsies. Instead of filing a police report, we scraped together enough moolah to each have a glass of wine and share a plate of vitello tonnato which is on every menu. The highlight of the trip was agnolotti del plin, a delicate mini ravioli. If it’s done right, the sage butter sauce will create a beautiful sheen coating. I’ve tried to order it many times elsewhere and have always been disappointed. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
This week I’ll be expanding on Italy. Today’s highlights focus on Milan. I’ve been 3 times. The first time in 2009 I did indulge in the popular tourist tradition of taking a spin on the bull’s balls, a mosaic in the Galleria next to the Duomo. One of my favorite things about Milan is the Milanese aperitivo. Happy hour! I remember arriving in 2017 just before Thanksgiving and relaxing into some lovey rose and delectable bites at Savini after checking-in. It was so delicious we came back the next day for dinner and it was here that I experienced my first white glove truffle service while viewing the sparkling Swarovski Christmas tree being assembled in the center of the Galleria. The truffle arrived on a small glass-domed platter with a tiny scale to weigh the truffle before and after being shaved over my fresh pasta. Bliss! My most recent visit was as a jumping off point for Lake Como. If you’re headed to the train station, be sure to schedule a meal at the lovely Figli dei Fiori. I had an absolutely divine lunch in the charming garden terrace. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #40 Holland or The Netherlands. When I got to Europe last month I learned that I had one week left to visit Keukenhof in Amsterdam. I found a flight and headed straight to the gardens after landing to sit amongst the fields of gorgeous tulips. That night I was walking through the red-light district just absorbing the experience. A man near me suddenly barked, “Hey, no pictures. Show some respect!” at a blond female tourist in her 20s. She had her phone in hand directed at one of the windowfronts. She was clearly startled out of her ignorance and fumbled a bit as she walked away. That was when I noticed the “No Photos” sign. He was monitoring the gawkers not the women in the windows. I thought about consent and respect. And that as people sometimes we’re oblivious to our fellow humans. I was glad that the man was there and for the words he chose. The next morning I woke up early to wander about. I caught the dappled reflection of a beautiful blue sky and clouds off the surface of a canal. It was like being absorbed into a Monet painting. Unforgettable. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
If you want to see where Champagne is made, you’ll need to go to Grand Est, a region in northeast France which you can get to in under an hour from Paris by train. A sparkling wine can only use the Champagne label if it’s produced with grapes grown here following the rules of the appellation. This region borders four countries: Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, and Switzerland. Three of us were in Paris and took a day trip to the town of Reims, spelled R-E-I-M-S but pronounced Rance with a rolling R. /ri:mz/ would be incorrect. Say France with a french accent and then drop the F. Frrrance….Rrrrance! The vineyards and tasting rooms are functional and quaint except for the largest Champagne houses like Ruinart. Ladies, wear comfortable and flat shoes. The roads are cobbled and the cellars are uneven. One of the houses I went to had no sign and a chicken running through the small undecorated yard we entered through. You’ll need to make appointments at each house or better yet book a tour with transportation included. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Today’s highlights focus on Nouvelle Aquitaine in the southwest corner of France, it’s the largest of the 13 regions. I’ve traveled through many of its towns as a day trip from Spain or on the way to and from some other destination in France. We passed through or stayed in Arcachon, Merignac, La Rochelle and Niort on the way to Mont Saint Michel and then Bordeaux on the return. I passed through La Rochelle again on the way to Noirmoutier en l’ile. I’ve also been to Biarritz and Bayonne as a day trip from Pamplona. I think I enjoyed Biarritz the most. I was indeed biased by the pleasant weather I experienced there. I also found the blend of Basque and French culture fascinating. It has a strong surfing culture which probably reminds me of the South Bay back in Southern California. Except the Europeans are way more stylish, no flip-flops in Biarritz. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
My friend planted a seed in my head about an abbey rising from the sea on the northwestern coast of France in Normandy called Mont Saint Michel. It captured my imagination and the rest is history. What started off as a road trip from Pamplona to Arcachon to see the highest dune in Europe, fittingly became a great pilgrimage though France. It was pouring rain in every town we arrived in and we just kept pushing to get north of the storms. I’m certain the abbey was beckoning us north. When we got to Rennes, things started to clear up. Sure enough we were greeted with sunshine and blue skies the morning we reached the Abbey. The view upon approach is impressive. Imagine a spectacular Gothic Benedictine abbey and tiny medieval village perched atop a small rocky island surrounded by nothing. The view is even more surreal at high tide when the island is surrounded by water. The climb to the top is a delightful maze of cloisters, twisting staircases, gardens, and ramparts. During the Hundred Years War, it became a fortress. During the French Revolution, it served as a prison. Today it is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. https://www.travelingmom.com/destinations-international/essential-tips-for-visiting-mont-saint-michel-france/ Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I was immediately smitten with Lyon. It’s the gastronomic capital of France and the heart of the Rhone Alpes region. I only had plans for a quick overnight in the Old Town. I checked into my hotel and asked for a dinner recommendation. As I was walking to the restaurant, I peered down a narrow alley and the sound of warm laughter was spilling out over the cobblestones. I wanted to soak up the convivial atmosphere so I sat next to a table of about 10 people with a jumble of accents who eventually shared their food and wine with me and absorbed me into their festivities. One of the couples lived in Lyon. They insisted I stay longer and offered me a room in their nearby flat an extra night. We were up until all hours. In the morning, I quickly checked out to start my explorations. Lyon is a dream for a nervous cyclist. Paris is too large and unwieldy for me. Here I was nestled safely between the Rhone River and Saone River making it a breeze to get around. I ventured to the steps of la Croix Rousse for panoramic views of the city. I had a lovely Lyonnaise salad before boarding my train as a final seal on my memory of Lyon. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
JT’s family has a summer home in Noirmoutier en l'Ile in the Bay of Biscay on the western Atlantic coast of France which I had the privilege of visiting. While it may be in the new Pays de la Loire region now, historically this area was part of Brittany. I could imagine my friend growing up here in the summers riding a bike through the maze of salt marshes lined with blackberry brambles and coming home with telltale purple smudges on his lips. I found a bicycle in the garage and rode everyday rain or shine discovering a new beach or getting happily lost amongst the bright white mounds of salt. Adding to the authenticity, the only language I heard spoken was French. The main food offerings were crepes and moule mariniere. And then local specialties like the Vendee brioche. You order oysters here by a number rating, the bigger the number, the smaller the oyster. If you can come the first Saturday of May for the Bonnotte festival, you’ll be treated to hand harvested potatoes eaten with local salt and lashings of butter. https://www.ile-noirmoutier.com/en/savourer/nos-produits-locaux/potatoes-noirmoutier-island.html Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Expanding on France this week. In the span of five years, I’ve traveled through 9 of the 13 regions of France. The area that has captured my soul is the French Riviera, the famous Cote d’Azur on the Mediterranean coast in southeast France. You can fly into Nice and take the train to any of the towns that dot the coast, my favorite is Villefranche Sur Mer. I still have a vivid memory of watching the sun drop into the sea while having a lovely homecooked dinner on the terrace of a gorgeous villa. Swaying to the wine and music of Frank Sinatra floating around me with the balmy sea breeze under the night sky. Magical. The quality of the light in September is beautiful, it feels ethereal and ephemeral. I can see why artists like Picasso, Matisse, Renoir, Cezanne and others were also drawn to the region. Last summer, I flew into Nice for a couple days just to enjoy some time in Villefranche Sur Mer. I spent one day on a vintage yacht moored in the bay and another at the beach club beneath the train station soaking up the sunshine. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Highlights Focus on Andalusia in southern Spain. The crown jewels of Andalusia are Granada, Seville and Cordoba. I took a day trip to Granada while I was in Costa Del Sol. The Alhambra is the most famous Moorish palace for good reason. Our guide was a storyteller and painted such compelling visions of the Alhambra in her full glory that I was swooning from its grandeur. Seville is universally loved by other Spaniards. I tried fried Ortiguillas which are sea anemones at Eslava, tastes like oysters. I was a regular at the Pura Vida rooftop pool bar with a view of the famous Cathedral. I took a day trip to Cordoba without doing any research and let my feet guide me. I got off the train and followed a park filled with orange groves. And then meandered through the charming alleys until I stumbled onto the corner of a tremendous structure. I could not stand back far enough to take it all in. A man asked is this the Mezquita as he looked up from a guide book. I nodded with full belief. A town is magic when the energy of the city literally pulls you to the center. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Highlights Focus on Ibiza and Formentera, part of the Balearic Islands, an archipelago off the eastern coast of Spain. To get to Formentera you have to take a ferry from Ibiza. We stayed one night in town so we could do some scuba diving. The only time I’ve ever been diving in Europe. The water was glorious. We couldn’t resist wading in at every beach that we visited. We almost missed our rental car return deadline. I noticed a lot of Italian dishes on the menus, the island is popular with Italians. As for Ibiza, what I remember most about the island is the phenomenal energy. I felt so tapped in that I almost couldn’t sleep. I’ve never enjoyed clubbing until I came to Spain, my first great club experiences were in Barcelona but I was always hungover the next day. Not the case in Ibiza. I didn’t want to dampen my experience so I stayed alcohol free. The DJs are truly phenomenal. I danced all night, night after night. Then I’d sleep a few hours and go explore the island. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Highlights Focus on Basque Country in northern Spain including San Sebastian and Bilboa. French side includes Biarritz. They share the sea and the Pyrenees mountains. Basque people spend more than twice as much of their disposable income on food as people do in the United States. https://www.lonelyplanet.com/spain/basque-country/travel-tips-and-articles/10-reasons-to-visit-basque-country/40625c8c-8a11-5710-a052-1479d276c4d1 Pamplona was my gateway drug to Basque country. The crown jewel of Basque country is San Sebastian, it boasts the highest concentration of Michelin starred restaurants in the world. On a return trip here, my friend was eager to have dinner at a Michelin restaurant. So we did that in addition to taking her back to my favorite pintxo bars. I’m happy to report that when she returned to the states she raved about the neighborhood pintxos. You don’t need the Michelin price tag to have a standout culinary experience here. One of my local friends introduced us to txuleta, an ox steak from Galicia. I grew up in Texas on steaks and I can count the flavor and local preparation as one of the most memorable in the world. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/jun/20/high-steaks-the-new-craze-for-old-cow Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Highlights Despite coming to Spain 7 years in a row, I’ve only been to 7 of the 17 autonomous communities because I return to and stay in Catalonia so often. I’m only fluent in English but have taught myself how to read menus in the languages of the countries I travel to most. So I can be lost but never hungry, a great motto to live by! I learned Catalan first which is the local dialect for Catalonia which includes Barcelona and Costa Brava. The famed El Bulli by Ferran Adria was in the region. They won the number one restaurant title a record five times. Their innovation attracted chefs from all over the world and Spain to come and train and these protégées went back to cook in their home towns or neighboring countries. I never got to eat there but I can certainly appreciate its influence. Catalans are very proud of their culture and there are many protests for independence. The conflict reminds me of the pro Taiwanese independence sentiments I grew up hearing about and being influenced by. So I feel some shared camaraderie with the Catalan culture. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Highlights Focus on Costa Del Sol in southern Spain. Joined my siblings and their significant others in Malaga. My nephew was turning one and took his first steps here. We visited the White Towns of Andalusia. Charming villages with white-washed walls like Mijas, Ojen, Estepona and Frigiliana. Most memorable for me was Ronda which sits perched over the El Tajo gorge. Marbella is the main resort area, overwhelmingly British. My food discoveries in this area were boquerones and salmorejo. Boquerones are anchovies. I was happy to eat them fried or marinated in vinegar and olive oil. Salmorejo, similar to gazpacho but thicker in consistency due to the bread crumbs and the garlic flavor is more pronounced. I like mine topped with hard-boiled eggs, jamon and a drizzle of olive oil. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Highlights Focus on Pamplona in Spain. 2014 First San Fermin festival, famously know as the running of the bulls. Here you order pintxos instead of tapas. Something delicious skewered to a piece of bread. And the local drink is Txacoli, a light dry slightly sparkling white wine. Even though Pamplona is in the Navarra region, they speak the Basque language and share so much of its culture that I hold them in the same place in my heart. I went to Pamplona with Sofia right after the birth of my nephew in Barcelona. We ran into a couple of locals who guided us as we ate our way through the best pintxos. Foie gras was still banned in California so I ordered it every chance I got. I had such a fantastic time, I have since returned to Pamplona twice including another San Fermin festival. My second time I made sure to get a balcony experience of the bulls which includes breakfast before the main event. You’re dangling a few feet above the action. The energy in the air is palpable and it’s truly an exhilarating moment to have the bulls rush under your feet. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Highlights Expanding on Spain. Focus on Costa Brava which is the coastal region of Catalonia in northeastern Spain. When I was at the Salvador Dali museum in Figueres, I learned that he had a home in Port Lligat. The first opportunity someone invited me to Cadaques, I said yes without hesitation! We were celebrating the Feast of Sant Joan which coincides with the summer solstice and is one of the most important Catalan feast days. It’s also called Nit del Foc meaning Night of Fire, fireworks abound. One of the guys cooked up fabulous steaks from Girona. I remember drinking my wine in this family summer home right at the waters edge surrounded by dashing Spaniards and loving my life immensely. When I saw the landscape, I was home. I felt a shared closeness with Dali as if I understood his soul and his art better by sharing in the inspiration and beauty he experienced by living here. My favorite hike is along the Camino de Ronda, an old smugglers path that often drops right into the sea, perfect for a dip on a warm summer day: https://www.ottsworld.com/blogs/top-5-cami-de-ronda-day-hikes-in-costa-brava/ Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #39: Finland Highlights Helsinki for an overnight layover. Have some blueberry or lingonberry juice. Stay in the Design District. Stroll the Espa. Kapelli Restaurant Old Market Hall Checkout a seaside sauna like Allas or Loyly! Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #38: Ireland Highlights Bad food Underwhelmed by Cliffs of Moher - pay for parking Try Aran Islands instead Inisheer - time has stopped Underwhelmed by Book of Kells Try Chester Beatty Library instead on grounds of Dublin Castle instead https://chesterbeatty.ie/ Impressive collection of Christian illuminated manuscripts and Islamic texts. Most extensive papyri collection in the world Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #37: Turkey Highlights Ottoman architecture - a blend of Islamic and Byzantine Christian influences Istanbul - only city to straddle 2 continents Europe and Asia Food variety and flavors was mind-blowing Favorite dish - menemen, similar to scrambled shakshuka Obsessed with Turkish towels and textiles at the bazaar Cappadocia - hot air balloon sunrise tour, serene and peaceful Turkey had just issued a press release condemning the US government for their decision to move the US embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. Impartial supporters of the peace process. http://www.mfa.gov.tr/no_-137_-abdnin-telaviv-buyukelciligini-kuduse-tasimasi-hk.en.mfa https://www.vox.com/2018/5/14/17340798/jerusalem-embassy-israel-palestinians-us-trump Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #36: Lebanon Highlights Exotic - Arabic, French, English languages. Greet loved ones with Bonjour habibi! Religious diversity - impressive and unexpected in Middle East, 18 officially recognized religious groups, mostly Christian and Muslim, churches next to mosques. ATMs dispense Lebanese pounds and USD Batroun - Magical coastal town with its intoxicating sea breeze along with being surrounded by Phoenician, Byzantine, Greek, Roman and Ottoman history made my time here unforgettable. Guest room of a local wellness studio Dharma Ji where I hosted a series of Mindfulness workshops. Imagine waking up with a view of St Stephen Cathedral and the sea, doing yoga, walking through the Old Souk for a fish sandwich from local George Malouf’s lunchtime eatery. Lemonade - this town is famous for it’s lemonade. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #35: Qatar Highlights May 2018 - first Middle East trip Doha Airport - offers transit layover tours https://www.discoverqatar.qa/transit-tours/ Qatar Airlines - Complimentary hotel stay program for overnight layover https://www.qatarairways.com/en/hia-hamad-international-airport/transit-accommodation.html 24 hour layover - perfect amount of time taste of Doha Souk Waqif - dinner Fire station gallery - Laundromat exhibit by Ai WeiWei exiled Chinese artist, his work raises awareness about international human-rights issues https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/24/arts/ai-weiwei-refugee-project-qatar-china.html December 2018 - 3 simultaneous Ai WeiWei exhibits http://www.artnews.com/2018/10/26/ai-weiwei-takes-los-angeles/ Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #34: Brazil Highlights Second visit in South America Brasilia - capital as recent as 1960. Unesco world heritage site. Architect’s mecca, chiefly designed by Oscar Niemeyer influenced by modernist movement. Modern architecture city laid out in the shape of an airplane. Le Corbusier influence around town. Greater rhea which is related to an ostrich or emu. Rio de Janeiro Aprazivel - tree house restaurant in Santa Teresa neighborhood Guimas - locals spot by the botanical garden Amir - Arabian food Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #33: Chile Highlights First time in South America Long, thin country - #3 span of latitude Wine tasting Pastel de choclo - classic comfort food South American shepherd’s pie layered dish minced beef with onion and paprika shredded chicken hard boiled egg, olives and raisins sweetcorn crust topper grind choclo corn with a mortar and pestle Into a paste add butter, ground basil, milk, sugar Culture - values family and tradition Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #32: Sweden Highlights Reindeer heart in Stockholm Nobis Hotel - great location June 2017 - Chilly Gamla Stan, bought an article of clothing in every store Stylish city Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #31: Croatia Highlights Dubrovnik Old Town - Limestone walls and pavers polished to a shine, it was brightly lit, glittering, stunning (setting for Game of Thrones) Most beautiful sunset - Dinner with friends at Nautika sits on old Walls overlooking the Adriatic Sea. Inky purple bowl of ocean with this rose gold tint reflecting a beautiful sky full of golds purples, oranges, reds, pinks. Hire a boat for a half day Coral Beach club Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Moment for Gratitude Reflection - What have I learned about myself? My love of food reinforced - getting to know cultures through their food Prefer village or small town feeling over big cities Find a neighborhood that reflects some aspect of my personality or a sense of community for accommodations Adventure streak - Diving in 8 countries Thailand, Philippines, Indonesia, Palau, Mexico, Maldives, Cuba, Spain Rock climbing Slow travel penchant - Bike rides through Europe Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #30: Portugal Highlights Lisbon - Pastel de nata Portuguese Egg tarts in Belem Sintra - Pena Palace, Moorish castle, Sintra Palace, reverse order to avoid crowds Porto - Port wine tasting Duoro River Valley - gorgeous wine country Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #29: Cuba Highlights Obama administration - relaxed the restrictions on the Cuban embargo and gave businesses a reason to believe we were headed towards diplomacy and eventually ending the embargo. The new administration has reversed this stance. Havana - 20 people NYE 2016 Vinales - Rock climbing and tobacco farms Bay of Pigs - scuba diving 10% USD penalty, take euros Rations - wifi cards, black market Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #28: Denmark Highlights Denmark distinguishes itself from the other Scandinavian and Nordic countries by having the best food. Noma in CPH is only surpassed by El Bulli in Spain for best restaurant in the world. Food Halls in Copenhagen Bicycles - unlocked, trustworthy Social commentary - socialist country, no homeless people, socia net Tivoli gardens *According to the US Department of Housing and Urban Development, as of 2017 there were around 554,000 homeless people in the United States on a given night, or 0.17% of the population. There are over 6000 (2015) homeless in Denmark. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #27: Poland Highlights Least favorite country, a couple bad experiences in Lodz, Warsaw Krakow - a little crown jewel with a lovely square I ate all the local dishes and drank the local vodka. I could taste the tragic history of Poland through the food and drink. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #26: Monaco Highlights Perfect way to have a meal in three countries in one day. Breakfast in France, lunch in Monaco and dinner in Italy. Best to take the train there. The coastal traffic gets very congested. There’s also a bit of a taxi racket in Monaco and the local taxi scheme could cost you over 200 euros after the trains shut down. The Grand Hotel on Cap Ferrat is exquisite. https://www.fourseasons.com/capferrat/dining/restaurants/la_veranda/ A burger there will set you back 50euros (2015). Don’t say I didn’t warn you! Joel Robuchon - classic 99euro egg dish (2017) https://www.eater.com/2018/8/8/17655446/joel-robuchon-michelin-latelier-mashed-potatoes-pommes-puree Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #25: Switzerland Highlights Geneva Kristina - Serbian friend from Phuket, great hospitality Lyon - hopped over on train Underwhelmed - Expensive country Food - fondue, raclette and cheese, lactose intolerance Lake with the fountain Jet d'Eau Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #24: Malaysia Highlights Kuala Lumpur Chevy Beh 1% friend https://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/cover-story-datuk-chevy-beh-co-founder-bookdoc-pt-2 British Polo Day Event in LA - winning team https://www.britishpoloday.com/usa-eastcoast LA 2015 - my cameo at 2:19 Ran into Elon Musk at the BPD 2014 event. May of 2015 - Personal driver, lunch, polo fields, startup BookDoc. Langkawi - fruit farm, jackfruit, durian, mangosteen Muslim - Ramadan Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #23: Maldives Highlights Natural atolls, ring-shaped coral islands Terrible airport, sparse amenities (2015). Male - skip it. Muslim country - alcohol, bathing suits and pda are illegal Exception - Resorts have their own private islands Islands with residents are dry, no alcohol Domestic workers from Sri Lanka Rahdsoo - inhabited island. Mosque loudspeakers 5x a day. Amazing scuba diving. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #22: Korea Highlights Korean Air to SE Asia Great layover airport - free transit tour program https://www.airport.kr/ap_cnt/en/trn/tour/trtour/trtour.do End of February - cold in Seoul Puffy jackets provided on the bus Jeondeungsa Temple https://eng.templestay.com/temple_info.asp?t_id=jds5450 Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #21: Singapore Highlights Laksa, Hainan chicken rice Iconic Building - Marina Bay Sands Fond memory - local bike riding Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #20: Belgium Highlights Ghent, Brugge, Oostende, Knokke, Brussels Coastal Tram https://www.belgiancoast.co.uk/en/inspiration/coastal-tram Favorite town - Ghent, charming village town with cute canals New friend in Philippines - El Nido, Indonesia - Bali, Belgium - Ghent, Spain - Marbella, US - Utah, Mt Zion and Bryce Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #19: France Highlights Paris - Rained on me Favorite trip - with family Snails in Toulouse, Foie gras in Paris, Cassoulet in Carcassone Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #18: Spain Highlights Barcelona Sister city - warm, sunny climate by the sea, with fantastic food culture Gaudi design influence - Catalan art nouveau architecture Favorite neighborhood - Gracia, local slightly bohemian touch hipster, walkable 5 meals Favorite meal - Comida, menu del día 2-3 courses with a beverage and dessert Siesta after Merienda - afternoon snack, happy hour Cena - dinner at 10pm Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #17: Palau Highlights Archipelago island nation in Micronesia Nitrox diving - Napoleon fish Jellyfish lake Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #16: Japan Highlights Japanese Onsen Bath experience Natural hot springs facilities - etiquette, robe, dinner tradition Mt Fuji Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #15: Canada Highlights Toronto International Film Festival Canadian Bacon is called peameal. St Lawrence Market. 2014 - British Columbia, Sidney, Victoria, Tofino Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #14: Indonesia Highlights Volcanic islands, more diving Broken leg trip - Bali, Kuta Diving in Gili Air, Nusa Lembongan - Manta rays, Amed - Liberty wreck, Lovina Jan 2015 - Bali, Keroboken, Nusa Lembongan, Semniyak, Sanur May 2015 - 3 days of transport to get to UnaUna in the Togean Islands Bali, Sulawesi, Manado, Gorontalo, Togean Islands Wakai, Kadidiri, UnaUna - Amazing diving Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #13: Philippines Highlights Archipelago in SE Asia, diving trip, world class diving destination Visayas: Bohol - Advanced diving certification, world class diving Moalboal Cebu Palawan: Puerto Princessa - kayaking through Unesco World Heritage cave https://whc.unesco.org/en/list/652 El Nido - island hopping and snorkeling Coron - Wreck diving Manila - best sushi in Little Tokyo Makati Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #12: Australia Highlights Australia is a continent. Special trip - Multi-generational family reunion that my dad planned through Melbourne, Sydney, Cairns, Gold Coast, Brisbane. Van tour for the family. My dad is one of 7 siblings. 6 were alive and present. This feeling that if they didn’t do it, they’d never have the opportunity again. Baby koala Didn’t make it into this episode - kangaroos! Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #11: Mexico Highlights First trip in Cabo San Lucas 2013 Sister’s wedding in Riviera Maya, flew into Cancun and visited Playa Del Carmen. Bad scuba diving, bored staff. Didn’t make it into this episode - Chichen Itza! 2016 Tulum - Snorkeling and swimming in cenotes. Sinkholes, the roof of an underground cavern collapses and the curious creatures that humans are, we see a swimming pool 2016 drove across the border with friends. Valle de Guadelupe -amazing farm to table veggies, meat grown on the ranch, sitting next to a vineyard. Ambitious and passionate young chefs. Finca Altozano. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #10: Italy Highlights Week in Rome, Milan, Venice Best tiramisu in Venice Slow travel trend 2015, 2017, 2018, will expand on those trips in the future First trip was about pasta and pizza Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Country #9: Thailand
Highlights
PADI Open Water Scuba diving certification in Koh Tao
NYE in Koh Tao
Second trip in 2014 - scuba diving and rock climbing. First international rock climbing trip. Open water solo in Railay and Krabi
NYE in Koh Phi Phi
Phuket for months
Bankkok - busy bustling transit hub
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Country #8: China
Highlights
China is a beast!
Beijing - Great Wall
Xian - Terra Cotta Warriors
Chengdu - holding a baby panda at Panda Research Institute
Suzhou
Lhasa, Tibet - Potala Temple, shocked by monks and machine guns
Shanghai - sick at spa
Hong Kong - Local newspaper for DIY food tour
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Country #7: Costa Rica
Highlights
Adventure trip
First time ziplining through the tree canopy of a rainforest
First ATV tour
Surfer town Malpais was dusty, drastically different climates in different parts of the country
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Country #6: Austria
Highlights
Part 3 of Contiki Tour (Part 1 - Germany, Part 2 -Czech Republic)
Visited Vienna.
Compact, Beautiful and Elegant
Returned in 2016 and 2017.
Go to restaurant: Vietthao for Vietnamese food!
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Country #5: Czech Republic
Highlights
Part 2 of Contiki Tour (Part 1 - Germany)
Visited Prague.
City of 100 Spires
Distinctive Baroque and Gothic architecture.
Romantic, fairytale setting.
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Country #4: Greece
Highlights
Last minute Contiki Tour
Visited Berlin, Checkpoint Charlie and Berlin Wall.
Traveling is great for relationship breakup recovery.
Set new goal to visit one new country every year
What kind of traveler am I? Hit the museums or take in the local scene.
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Country #3: Greece
Highlights
Visited Athens, Santorini, Mykonos
Favorite - Santorini, adored the seaside village feeling
Mediterranean trifecta - warm climate, by the sea with great food
Must eat - Greek Salad, moussaka, saganaki, spanikopita
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Country #2: Fiji
Highlights:
First luxury trip.
Luxury villa on gorgeous white sand beaches that fronted the ocean.
Shocked by - rich/poor gap.
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Country #1: Taiwan
Highlights:
What to experience - Night Markets
Cultural insight - Love Boat (Culture & Language Study Tour for Overseas Taiwanese) for college kids
Street Food Specialty - Beef Noodle Soup
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I’m super excited to introduce the topic for May because I love to travel. It’s played an important part of my education beyond the classroom. It’s easy to be ignorant until you realize that no matter where you go in the world people want the same things. To feel safe. To be seen, heard and loved. To know they matter and their lives make a difference. To fall asleep with the warmth of caring arms nearby and a belly satisfied by sustenance and a few laughs for good measure. Next week when i go to Finland, that will be country #39. I’ve had the great privilege of visiting countries on 5 continents, all except Africa and Antarctica. The leading continent is Europe with 17 countries. While the count of 15 countries in Asia is less, the diversity of regions has been greater. My most visited country has been Spain, I’ve been six years in a row. The activity that has taken me to the most places besides eating is scuba diving, I’ve been diving in 7 countries. Stay tuned for my most memorable highlights in each country. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
How to effectively approach someone if you feel slighted? Be sure to state your feelings without blame and what I call character assassination. And if you want to really tug at their heart strings, start with an affirmation. For example, “Hey, I love you, I want to confess I was really hurt by that because I felt like your response was cold.” Instead of “you are a cold person.” Or “Hey, I know you care about me but I felt unsupported when you didn’t show up on time” instead of “you are an unsupportive person.” Statements of "you are" instead of "I felt" are interpreted as name calling. Try the "I notice, I think, I feel" method when addressing conflict. “I noticed you arrived 10 min late, I think that being on time shows respect, I felt disrespected.” Compare that to “you clearly don’t respect me” which is an absolute. Nothing in life is absolute. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
The apology that I hear most often and I’ve been totally guilty of is what I call the Elephant Apology. I’m sorry but there was an elephant, and then there were rhinos and then there were monkeys. I use these phrases because it doesn’t matter what it is. As you soon as you said BUT the apology ended. What if though there were some crazy extenuating circumstances, right? You can just say hey I want to let you know that there was this elephant. there was this rhino and there was this monkey. You know what, that doesn’t change the fact that I wasn’t there for you. I’m really sorry that I hurt you. Please forgive me, let me make it up to you. That way you don’t diminish their pain and take away from their story to focus on your story instead. That’s a narcissistic tendency we have. Go ahead, try your next apology without blaming the elephants, rhinos and monkeys. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Ever hear the phrase love is not enough. Well sometimes sorry is not enough. A bad apology is one where you don’t even really say you’re sorry. You’re kinda like I’m sorry if you felt that way even though someone has just told you that you’ve hurt them. Or sometimes you apologize and expect instant forgiveness, you don’t allow the other person to process their emotions. I had an ex who once left me waiting for a couple hours which I found pretty disrespectful. He apologized and gave me lots of reasons why he was late making me feel even more unimportant. He also didn’t know that my language of apology was making restitution. As a result, I needed some space on my own to mend myself since he wasn’t part of that process. He got even more upset condemning me for overreacting. His response ironically was a huge overreaction where he wanted to re-define the relationship. Obviously we’re not together anymore. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
So what happens if you royally screwed up and hurt someone you care for and love deeply or you don’t know a person’s language of apology. Then you can make the master of all apologies that combines expressing regret, accepting responsibility, genuinely repenting, requesting forgiveness and making restitution. It sounds like this: I’m so sorry, I was wrong, I will change so this won’t happen again, please forgive me, I want to try to make it up to you, what can I do? If you watch carefully, you’ll notice that there is one phrase in there, where the other person’s demeanor softens. That means you found their language of apology. Next time, start there, it will have the most impact. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
This is a continuation of the discussion on Gary Chapman's five languages of apology. If your apology language is Requesting Forgiveness, you find an apology most sincere when the other person places emphasis on asking for your forgiveness. That makes you feel like the other person values your relationship. It gives you some power back which you feel like was taken away. It honors the notion that you were put in a vulnerable position and the other party wants to see the relationship fully restored by putting themselves in the vulnerable position and putting the future of the relationship in your hands. What you long to hear: I’m so sorry I hurt you, can you find it in your heart to please forgive me? Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
This is a continuation of the discussion on Gary Chapman's five languages of apology. If your apology language is Genuinely Repenting, you want to know that someone is willing to change to avoid hurting you again. It also needs to come from the heart. You feel an apology is most sincere when someone verbalizes a desire to change. You feel reassured when there is a dedicated plan. If the other person never sets up steps of action to ensure success, the apology has failed. I’ll try not to do that again. Here’s what I’m thinking to try to prevent this from happening again. If you know someone that needs genuine repentance, keep in mind to keep your goals realistic. I really want to change but this is hard to change all at once. Please be patient while I take these smaller steps. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
This is a continuation of the discussion on Gary Chapman's five languages of apology. If your apology language is Making Restitution, you find an apology most sincere when the person that has wronged you takes action to make it right. You’re not just listening for an admission of fault, but hey what can I do to make this better? What can I do to make this right? Or here’s what I’m going to do to make it up to you. Is that okay, do you think that will help? If you know someone like this and it feels like you are paying penance, it’s because you are. Back in 2003, Lakers star Kobe Bryant admitted to cheating on his wife and then purchased an eight-carat, purple diamond ring for his wife. It’s a physical attempt at the restoration of something lost. A group societal example would be I’m sorry we took away all your property during this war, we want to make restitution by returning as much property as possible and creating a fund. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
This is a continuation of the discussion on Gary Chapman's five languages of apology. If your language of apology is accepting responsibility, you long to hear the words “I was wrong” from the person who wronged you. You are looking for maturity and you want to hear the offending party say "I was wrong and I take responsibility for my actions.” This can be very difficult for some people to admit they are wrong since it makes them doubt their self-worth or feel like a failure but it makes a world of difference to the partner who speaks this language. Some examples include: Hey I no showed and stood you up. No excuses. How careless of me. I was wrong and take responsibility for that. Or I changed the schedule on you last minute to do something I enjoy but made your day a lot harder without running that by you. I was wrong for being inconsiderate. Just saying sorry will sound shallow because the injured party wants to know that you understand your role in their pain. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Of the Five Languages of Apology, Expressing Regret is probably the most straightforward one. This one is pretty simple, you are pretty satisfied with, “I’m sorry.” An immediate expression of sorrow for causing you pain goes a long way. How do people get this wrong? They combine it with an excuse, “I’m sorry I was late but I got held up at work.” How to fix this bad habit of turning apologies into deflections? "I’m sorry I was late. I did get held up at the office. But that left you in the lurch to handle the kids on your own. That must have really sucked. I’m sorry.” Notice the difference. Stay with the experience of the person who was hurt. Otherwise you come off like an egomaniac “but it wasn’t me" who has to make everything not your fault instead of a sincere "I’m sorry I hurt you.” Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
In addition to the Five Love Languages, author Gary Chapman also explains that there are Five Languages of Apology. Ever wonder why sometimes your apologies seem to fall on deaf ears? You try to apologize but the other person just seems to get more hurt. Or have you ever had the experience where you are owed an apology but the other person just makes you feel worse. Words appear to be coming out of their mouth as they explain themselves but it’s making you more upset. You just can’t quite explain why. Stay tuned. We’ll be covering the five languages of apology: Expressing Regret - saying I’m sorry, Accepting Responsibility - saying I’m wrong, Making Restitution - what can I do, Genuinely Repenting - I will change, and Requesting Forgiveness - can you forgive me. Do you know your language of apology? Let’s delve deeper in the days ahead. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I want to introduce the idea of immature love and mature love. Immature love - you just love somebody the way you know how, the way you feel comfortable loving them. Mature love is loving somebody the way they need to be loved. You take it upon yourself because you care about somebody to learn their language and how to speak it and love them in a way that makes them feel truly cared for. I actually met a couple in Milan that met in a nightclub. Their eyes locked across the room and they shared a passionate kiss on New Year’s Eve. Then discovered that she only spoke Italian and he only spoke English. They literally had to learn a new language to be together and they did. They fell in love, got married and started a family. Mature love, it’s good for your own growth, it’s good for your partner. It’s how you build a strong relationship that inspires the other person to grow. And if you want to be super advanced, don’t make the mistake of assuming that your partner should just know what you need to feel loved, be vulnerable enough to request it. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Yesterday, we talked about each individual having a love bank. I want to expand on that. Imagine that your love bank is experiencing a series of credits and debits. You give love and you receive love. Let’s say both you and your partner have been putting in pennies because you don’t know any better. Each person is actually working really hard and doing as much as they know how to do. It may only take one thing internally or externally to break the bank because the balance is so low. It could be a tragedy like a death in the family or a job loss. Or it could be something subtle that triggers internal change or growth that needs to be processed. A low balance love bank is easy to bankrupt and the relationship is in danger of disintegration soon after without some serious intervention. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
What’s valuable about knowing a person's love language? If you are wanting to show them love and add to their love bank, you can choose to put in pennies (their lower scoring love language) or dollar bills (their primary love language). If you are a gifts person and wanted to shower love on a quality time person, you could buy flowers which would be a deposit of a penny or share a meal with them giving them your undivided attention which would be a dollar. If you are an acts of service person showing love to a words of affirmation person, do you want to fold laundry and deposit pennies or give one exceptional heartfelt compliment at a dollar? Each person has their own love bank. It’s easy to go bankrupt with the demands of life and relationships when the love bank is only getting pennies. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
In the realm of love languages, physical touch is about way more than sexual contact. Advanced physical touch is about registering exactly what someone’s emotional needs are and then giving that to them. If you have a partner whose love language is physical touch, what does this mean? If he is sad, that may mean a reassuring and caring embrace. If she is angry, that may mean coming over to lay a calming but firm palm on the shoulder. If they took the time to get all gussied up, that may mean throwing them into a passionate twirl and dip. It’s about speaking their language, corresponding the correct level of touch that is associated with where they are at. It’s a far cry from someone who just wants to be touched In any way. The affection marries the emotional moment and the person. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
If you have a partner whose primary love language is physical touch, a lack of initiation in physical affection and sexual intimacy can be a make or break issue. They will start to doubt themselves and wonder what’s wrong, questioning whether you still find them attractive. They will take it personally. I knew a women whose primary love language was physical touch. Her husband had a different love language and a low libido. Talk about trouble in paradise. He didn’t initiate in the bedroom because she would come home from work and talk about how hard she worked and tired she was. He never wanted her to feel put out even further by making sexual advances. This would leave her feeling routinely rejected. So she would pick fights which he would resolve by giving her space. The opposite of what she really needed. Which was to be held with the comfort that he never wanted to let her go.
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If physical touch is your primary love language, then you feel especially loved when a person expresses feelings for you through physical contact. You enjoy being embraced and feeling affection from someone you care about. In our culture, female friendships are more likely to share affection and emotional intimacy which is often missing in adult male friendships. Single men tend to think physical touch is their love language when in reality they are just starved for affection and intimacy. I’ve watched physical touch people in action. In platonic settings, this looks like a light brush on the elbow, a squeeze of the hand, a quick touch on the back, or a pat on the shoulder. This is not to be confused with downright creepy and unwelcome sexual harassment. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Let’s dive a little deeper into the Acts of Service love language. Remember the quintessential service question: Does this act make their life easier and better? How about the early stages of dating since that’s a bit early for taking on household chores? When someone asks me on a date and invites me to dinner, this is an act of service. I am hungry. The person who feeds me is literally making my life better by satisfying a basic human need and for that, I’m incredibly grateful. If someone invites me out for a drink, this is not an act of service. Why? Because I don’t really drink much so it doesn’t make my life easier or better unless the venue is visually enticing since I appreciate good design. If someone invites me out for tea or coffee, I am putting myself out because I don’t drink caffeine. Acts of Service is specific to an individual. A mixology devotee, coffee connoisseur or tea aficionado would feel differently than me about the exact same scenarios. You really have to get to know your Acts of Service person. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
That saying the road to hell is paved with good intentions was probably invented by an Acts of Service person. Be careful not to make promises that you can’t keep with this person. If you say you are making dinner and then you get waylaid at work. You best order dinner because this person is relying on you to carry out your promise. Another one to avoid is the fake act of service. Suggest something but then have them do the behind the scenes work. I’ll pick up dinner but can you find a place that is vegan, gluten free and paleo friendly. Volunteering to babysit but asking them to drop off the kids across town where the drive time eats up most of the time. Perhaps you’re generally so disorganized about meeting times and places that the Acts of Service person in your life spends all their mental energy exhausted preparing for all the possible outcomes and scenarios. I’m an Acts of Service person. I basically make a list in my head every time someone says they will do something and hold my breath until they do. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
If your primary love language is acts of service, you feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help you, perhaps running errands or household errands. You feel most loved when someone helps you carry out your responsibilities or makes your life easier. This could include simple chores like laundry or taking out the trash that requires some combination of planning, time, effort and energy. The question to ask is, "does this make this person’s life easier?" A great example is a mom I know, she confided that she hated Mother’s Day. They would plan a brunch for her but then she would have to spend all this time cleaning up and going to buy the stuff so her kids could do it. It ended up being really stressful. So does it make that person’s life easier or does it give them more work to do? Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Perhaps you’re still not sold on the idea that gifts is a legitimate love language. That it’s more about status symbols over experiences or people. You clearly don’t understand the gifts that keep giving. If you gift your whisky loving friend that fancy silicone ice ball mold, every time they engage in their favorite hobby of making drinks they will think of you. If your partner wears that fabulous watch, every time someone compliments it, not only is it reinforcement of positive feelings towards you, the admirers will often say wow, how lucky, what a terrific partner you have. You don’t have to say nice things about yourself, other people will do it for you. One of my favorite necklaces is a gift from an ex-boyfriend that he purchased for me while he was out of town on a trip. We have both moved on but I still appreciate his good taste. More often though, I hold the sentiment sacred, it’s an affirmation of something that I already believe about myself. I am worthy of thoughtfulness and effort. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
If you are not a gifts person, you will likely confuse gifts with rewards. It’s like telling a kid if you finish all your homework, your reward is an hour of tv. That is a conditional reward. If you have to earn it, it’s not a gift. That’s why a paycheck is not a present. Have you heard of a selfish gift? That’s the gift you benefit from. It’s buying a tv for your wife who rarely watches tv. Or buying someone a top of the line food processor but they don’t really like to cook. Just because it costs a lot to make your life easier doesn’t make it a gift. I used to have a boyfriend who liked to buy me designer jeans and sunglasses. He liked seeing me wear them more than I liked actually wearing them. I decided to teach him a lesson so I bought him a surfboard travel bag for his favorite hobby and encouraged him to take a surf trip. I don’t surf so not only would I not get anything out of it, it would be time spent apart. He did indeed take that surf trip and then vowed never to travel without me again because who wants to leave behind such a great girlfriend! Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
If your love language is receiving gifts, you feel especially loved by tangible expressions of affection. It assures you that the other person is not only thinking about you but cares enough to show it. If you’ve had a bad day, having a loved one send you a token of their love speaks volumes to your heart. Non-gift people might misunderstand and feel like they have to buy your love but gifts are expressions of love and devotion. It’s a visible sign that makes you feel happy and secure in the relationship. That someone cares enough to go to the effort especially if it reflects your interests and personality. It’s thoughtfulness that can literally be seen since it is a visual symbol. My friend shared that her brother planted a flower garden for his wife so that he could give her different flowers year round. How special is that! Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I once had a boyfriend that was really amazing at quality time. We would usually be able to spend the weekends together. We both worked pretty hard during the week but he would plan these really fantastic weekend adventures paired with an interesting new restaurant to try. I’m a big foodie so I always looked forward to our time together. We were only together for about 9 months but we never repeated an activity or meal. From the time I would see him at the beginning of the weekend until he had to leave on Sunday, his phone would be off. He would be laser focused and arrange his schedule so that he took care of all his errands during focused times which would leave our weekends free. Despite not having a ton of time together during the week, it really made up for it. Exceptional quality time is a gift of experience and presence. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
The opposite of quality time is distracted time. If you're spending the day with somebody whose primary love language is quality time, you could be in the same room but doing different activities and they would feel ignored. So when you say, “what do you mean, we spent the whole day together”, that person would not feel like they had your focused attention. A common but inconsiderate thing you might do to a quality time person is to constantly be on your phone, checking your emails, answering calls. One helpful tip if you know this is going to happen is to give them advance notice. “Hey, I’m really excited that we’re about to spend some time together. Just so you know in about half an hour, I’ll need to check my messages really quick. I’m waiting for this one important call, is that okay?" It gives your quality time person the feeling that it pains you to not give them your undivided attention. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
If your love language is quality time, you feel especially loved when a person gives you undivided attention. You feel closer to people who give you focused energy. It’s more than just being in the same room or having proximity to someone. Quality time involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. It requires the emotional presence of both parties. When someone arranges to do activities that you love together, your memory bank will fill up with wonderful stories to share. I once dated a man who nicknamed me Fabulosity. He made it his mission to take me to unique places I had never been to before. We had nothing in common but his devotion to making my time in unfamiliar places fabulous was incredibly endearing. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
If Words of Affirmation is not your love language, you are likely to be judgmental about it. You’ve probably thought: how annoying, that person is so insecure because they’re constantly fishing and need compliments. If you want to see this person beam, tell others and let those compliments get back to them. How else can you communicate words of affirmation? Offer encouragement by reinforcing a difficult decision: that must have been hard, you handled the pressure well. Call attention to progress made: that was a great speech, you’ve come a long way from sitting in the back of the class to now commanding the attention of an entire auditorium. Acknowledging a person’s unique perspective: your insight on how to frame financial conversations is refreshing. Alexis Ohanian, co-founder of Reddit and husband of Serena Williams put up billboards for his wife when she returned to playing tennis after giving birth. They read ”Greatest Momma Of All Time, G.M.O.A.T.” All the words of affirmation folks in the audience just melted into a puddle. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
If the Words of Affirmation person in your life has had a bad day, find it in your heart to speak up. This is when a Words person needs your affirmation the most, otherwise they begin to suspect they do not have your love and support. It could be as simple as "I see that you are suffering and I’m here for you.” If you are upset with them, think before you speak. An unkind or demeaning phrase will undo 100 prior compliments. That’s how much pain is caused. Words that hurt and cripple, particularly character assassination and name calling are especially damaging. Instead of telling them "you said something unloving” you go for the jugular by saying “you are an unloving person." Instead of saying "the other day when that happened I didn’t feel very cared for” you punch below the belt with "you’re someone who doesn’t care about me.” And if you’re actually screaming curse words and yelling obscenities, grow up already. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I would not be surprised if the whole concept of awards shows was invented by somebody whose primary love language was words of affirmation. It’s a love fest where everyone expresses verbal gratitude and recognition. If you’re a words of affirmation person, you feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for you on a regular basis. You love it when another person tells you specifically how they value and appreciate you. And not just for some grand achievement but sprinkled generously into everyday heartfelt and meaningful acknowledgments that make you feel seen and heard. Women tend to want praise for who they are. For example: you have such a caring heart, I love how empathetic you are, you bring so much joy into my life. Men tend to want praise for what they do. Examples of how they are providing well, leading well and protecting well make this words person feel especially adored. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
What’s your love language? I'm really excited. Over the next couple of weeks, I get to talk about one of the most valuable insights I ever got out of couples counseling. In his book, The Five Love Languages, author Gary Chapman identifies 5 different ways of giving and receiving love: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. People express and receive love in different ways. While all of the love languages are nice to receive, there is a primary language that will make you feel especially loved. This type of awareness is wonderful because it gives you language to discuss what you need without making the other person bad or wrong. It also acknowledges that you can be working hard on a relationship but ineffective because the recipient of your affection does not realize you’ve expressed love at all. Stay tuned for tips on love languages. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/ Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
If you bleed, then I want to encourage you to save for the Red Tax. What is the Red Tax? It’s the roughly $10,000 starting price tag for freezing a woman’s eggs. When to start? If you are a woman, start saving $200/mo when you turn 30. It’s an insurance policy if you are still figuring out where kids might fit into the picture. If you are a man, you’ll likely end up dating and possibly partnering up with a woman in her 30s. Won’t it be nice to not have to rush into major life changes but still show your commitment by contributing to something that could make a huge difference in both of your lives? And if you decide against freezing, that money can go to other things. Towards a college fund or really nice push gift if you have kids naturally. Towards adoption, egg donors, or a surrogate if you choose that. If you go the no kid route, put the money towards a vacation, your business, in yourself as a reward for finally knowing. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Every company needs universal bias training. It used to be a thing that if you walked by a construction site that you would actually get cat calls and men would yell things at you if you were a woman. They could be supposedly complimentary but they invited other man to look at and objectify a woman. Very uncomfortable. You know what, I live in LA and that doesn’t happen anymore because companies have sexual harassment training so they understand that makes a hostile environment for women and they could get sued. This creates some consciousness and raises the level of awareness. That is what universal bias training would help with, our unconscious biases that we all have, men and women alike. What to ask for? Start with gender bias. Remember 50%. If your company management ranks don’t reflect the workforce at large, something needs to change. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
We’ve been exploring some of the existing subconscious biases that we have towards women in the workplace. Here are 3 tips to counteract these biases. Avoid creating situations where male employees have additional social access to a male boss like going for a drink to build relationships, where social stigma might make that more complex for a woman. Secondly. Amplify the voice of women in meetings: “Hey, that was good, did everyone hear that? Thanks for that Susan.” Hopefully do that without being patronizing. If a women is interrupted, since they are interrupted more often. Try the De-Interrupt: “Good summary, but I just want to circle back to what Susan (interrupted woman) was saying, because I think it was similar. Did you get your point across?” Let her voice be the last one heard on a topic. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Have you ever heard the phrase, “boys will be boys?” Implying we have not considered a man’s biological reality. The problem is that is often the only biological reality that gets considered. Take your own poll of “bad sex” amongst men and notice if they are talking about passive partners or a boring experience. When a woman talks about “bad sex”, that could mean coercion. If the guy hadn’t pushed for it or alcohol hadn’t been involved, it wouldn’t have happened. Emotional discomfort from the level of physical intimacy outpacing the desired level of emotional intimacy to feel safe. Physical pain, including faking an orgasm to speed things along because she feels bad not letting the man have an orgasm even though things have gone dry for her. Not speaking up to voice her own needs for pleasure to protect a man’s ego as if he had a right to feel great about himself at her expense. Have you ever thought about how disturbingly comfortable the world is with the fact that women sometimes leave a sexual encounter in tears? Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Collective intelligence is the composite or combined intelligence of a group of people, sort of like a group IQ. A group can be either more or less intelligent than the individuals that make up the group depending on the dynamics. The first correlation is that the higher the group member’s emotional intelligence, the higher the group’s collective intelligence. Emotional intelligence in this case is social perceptiveness, an individual’s ability to learn about others’ feelings and emotions from verbal and nonverbal communication like expressions, tone of voice, hand gestures and other body language. Secondly, the more empowered group members feel to participate in group discussions also is tied to a higher group collective intelligence. Thirdly, the more women on the team, the higher the group collective intelligence, this is often tied to women possessing strong social perception skills. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Back when I was a licensed civil engineer, I was shading engineering plans with colored pencils to delineate different construction materials for an estimate. A senior project manager walked by and said, "nice job, you’re going to make a great mom someday.” Turning my work into playing and coloring. I was offended but said nothing. What could I have done differently? I would encourage women now to speak up. If you have a good relationship with the manager, offset it with humor, "I don’t understand how that’s funny or complimentary but you're part of THAT generation.” Or more directly, “That’s not an appropriate comment because you wouldn't say that to a man.” On the more serious side, go ahead and report it to HR. Your company on a whole would benefit from diversity training. You’re probably asking why go to those lengths so quickly? Because so many of these small micro-aggressions happen and we wonder why there are not more women in higher level and C-suite positions. These subtle and constant backhanded compliments get delivered to women all the time. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Girls are more likely to have a negative body image than boys. In the US, girls and women hear and see messages about how they look from childhood. Young girls and teens are more likely to be praised for how they look than for their thoughts or actions. I don’t recall either one of my parents ever saying I was pretty or beautiful, they weren’t really verbally affirmative people. They focused on how I was performing in school. I didn’t think I was pretty or ugly, I was just me. Your regular awkward, insecure teenager. Which means I still struggled with my body image. I was still surrounded by peer pressure and media images. But I was lucky to not have that pressure reinforced at home. No one to my knowledge was ever on a diet or trying to lose weight. It’s important to remind ourselves and young kids that the lifestyle images we see are filtered and edited. Ironically the best way to have a healthy body image is to not focus on image at all. Compliment children and adults on their efforts, talents, accomplishments, and personal values. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
What can you do if you are a woman and you catch yourself automatically feeling competitive? Just remember that we’ll be more powerful together than as individuals. Take a vow to treat other women as your allies even when you don’t like them. Adopt “Shine Theory”. It’s the idea that another woman’s success, or shine, is going to help you shine brighter. Imagine basking in the glow of awesome women that you surround yourself with and watch those jealous feelings disappear. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
There is an unconscious bias that men lead and women nurture. It’s okay for men to be ambitious, assertive, self-confident. Those same qualities in women are labeled aggressive, self-promoting. Women are expected to be unselfish, caring, emotionally expressive and interpersonally sensitive. Male executives who speak more often than their peers are deemed more competent by 10%. Female executives who speak up are deemed less competent by 14%. When it comes to the workplace, women speak less, are interrupted more and have their ideas more harshly scrutinized. Women have to walk a precarious tightrope, it’s often easier to say nothing at all than be judged. They hold back, become less engaged. What can you do about this as a woman? Speak authoritatively, without apologies. Create a buddy system with colleagues and ask them to back you up in meetings when they agree with your ideas. Women need allies. And if you see this interrupting happening, speak up. Hey, I think you interrupted her before she finished. http://time.com/3666135/sheryl-sandberg-talking-while-female-manterruptions/ Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Does it really cost more to be a woman? You’ll pay on average about 13% more for personal care products marketed towards women. Does it raise your eyebrows just a tiny bit that tampons are subject to a luxury tax in the US but condoms are not? Menstrual cycles are a monthly reality for women for an average of 40 years. Another curiosity is that Viagra and condoms are eligible for reimbursement with a Flexible Savings Account (FSA) or Health Savings Account (HSA). But tampons are not. A 1994 gender pricing study estimated that women paid an extra $1350 every year for personal care products and services like haircuts and dry cleaning. And that was 25 years ago. Just for fun, ask a man about how much it would cost to replace his toiletries bag if he lost it on a trip. Ask a woman the same question. Send me a note and let me know if you think the pink tax is real.
Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Have you ever told a stranger to smile and then remarked that they look pretty or so much prettier when they do? What’s sexist about that statement you might ask. Well have you ever said to a man, “Hey man smile, you’re so much more handsome when you smile.” I have never said that to a man or heard it said. But I have been told by men, always strangers, that I should smile more. And then they would proceed to give me a compliment which I would then thank them for. Why is telling a woman to smile sexist? She either has to play the part and smile on demand or be deemed rude for ignoring and engaging in unwanted conversation. It perpetuates the idea that women should only show positive emotions or that it’s her role to look pretty for others. Stop expecting a woman to hide behind her smile, she might have something better to do like figure out how to stop living for others. So what do you do if you see a woman frowning, you can always ask are you okay? And if it’s a woman in your life that you are close to, give her a reason to smile, do something to inspire it. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Women are subject to disproportionate rates of gender-based violence and harassment including sexual assault and intimate partner violence. One in four women will experience sexual assault in her lifetime. What can we do about this? We can promote consent education, what that looks and feels like. And women need safe forums where they can talk about sexual encounters and be taken seriously as narrators of their own experience, whatever terms they choose to use. Women who have survived a rape, whether they call it a rape or not suffer lasting effects. Not acknowledging rape when it happens is not a sign that it didn’t happen. It is a sign that we do not have the adequate language for communicating the complexity of sexual violence. It’s a double crime. It denies a women of agency when the encounter is unwelcome and denies her the agency a second time in the construction of her own story. http://behavioralscientist.org/what-the-origins-of-the-1-in-5-statistic-teaches-us-about-sexual-assault-policy/ https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications_nsvrc_factsheet_media-packet_statistics-about-sexual-violence_0.pdf Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Studies have shown that when a woman expresses anger in the workplace, it’s met with backlash. Men who express anger at work are perceived as higher status. Women who express anger at work are perceived as lower status and less competent and paid lower wages. Notice your natural bias the next time someone at work exhibits anger. If it’s a man, do you notice yourself giving him the benefit of the doubt and attributing it to an external factor such as a situation or by someone’s provocation? Something must have really set him off. If it’s a woman, do you notice yourself blaming her temperament and personality and treating it as a character flaw? She’s unhinged and has rage issues. If you’re a woman, here’s how you can mitigate the negative bias. You have to turn your anger into words. What kind of words can you use? You don’t get to vent. What to say then? This is what was expected. This is what was done or happened instead. This is what needs to happen. Get on it. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Does gender bias and inequality still exist? Let’s look at some US numbers. The female population is about 51%. Women represent 25% of the Senate and 23% of the House of Representatives. Women account for roughly 47% of the total labor force. But get this. Women make up about 5% of CEOs of Fortune 500 companies. So when you hear women earn 77.9 cents for every dollar earned by men that’s saying that the median salary for women is roughly 22 percent lower than the median salary for men. The pay gap once factors such as experience, industry and job level are accounted for is 97.8 cents earned by a woman for every dollar earned by a man. So the real gap is the opportunity gap. Over the course of their career, men move into higher roles than women. By mid-career, men are 70 percent more likely to be in executive roles. By late career, men are 142 percent more likely to be in VP or C-suite roles. https://www.catalyst.org/research/women-in-the-workforce-global/ https://www.catalyst.org/research/women-in-sp-500-companies/ http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/fact-sheet/the-data-on-women-leaders/ Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Sleep is when our body and mind rest, more importantly it’s when physical restoration happens inside the body. The body rebuild muscles, cleans plaque from the walls of our veins, removes waste produced in the brain. Your mind processes and responds to the day’s events and emotions. This is the time we make memories. Sleep is critical to your immune system, appetite regulation and metabolism. So if you are trying to manage your waistline, improve your memory, brighten your mood, heal and recover, reduce stress, improve energy, make decisions and boost creativity…literally sleep on it. Women’s brains are wired differently, their connections are optimized for analytical and intuitive thinking. They tend to multi-task which is mentally and emotionally draining and use more of their brains than men. Women need about 20 minutes more sleep than men. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
The common theory is that a female is born with all the eggs she'll ever have, about 2 million at birth. That reduces to about 300,000 at age 25. These are actually potential eggs in the form of ovarian follicles. There is a hormone test AMH (Anti-Mullerian Hormone) that costs about $100 to find out how much is in the ovarian reserve bank but that only accounts for quantity not quality. During each menstrual cycle, one egg gets to take center stage to be released from the ovary. Women lose about 1000 follicles each month. Egg quality decreases with age. From 30 to 40, a woman’s chances of getting pregnant drops from 20% to 5%. And from age 35 to 40, the chance of miscarriage goes up from 20% to 40%. Men produce about 1500 sperm cells every second and will produce over 500 billion sperm cells in a lifetime. Sperm quality also decreases with age. It’s the combination of both partner’ ages that determines the likelihood of pregnancy. Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH) is a hormone secreted by the developing egg sacs (follicles). https://creatavist-g49brf5.atavist.com/egg-freezing-a-misunderstood-process-clone-69yfk Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Do you know your reproductive desires? That’s a fancy way of asking do you want to have kids or not? Perhaps you’re still figuring it out and that’s okay. It’s the one thing you can’t really compromise on in your life or in a relationship. You can’t have and raise half a child or hit pause as they grow up. So do you want kids and how many? Are you willing to go to extraordinary measures like fertility treatments, egg or sperm donation, surrogacy? How about adoption? I decided that I could see a really happy life with kids. I could also see a really happy life without kids. Having kids is not required for my joy or an essential part of my identity. I don’t want a child badly enough to be a single parent. And I don’t want to freeze my eggs. That pretty much leaves surrogacy and adoption on the table but that would only be if my partner wanted kids badly enough that we’d be willing to commit our resources to it. Kids don’t get to choose whether they will be born but you get to choose parenthood or not. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
A couple questions to get comfortable asking before having sex:1. How do you manage your sexual health and protection? 2. When was the last time you got tested for STDs? Now would you be embarrassed to ask this? Don’t be. Why would you be more comfortable sharing bodily fluids and naked body parts with someone than asking a question? And trust me, you don’t want to share your body with anyone who would make you feel awkward about asking. While both men and women in the US are diagnosed with STIs, they are not equally affected. Women are more likely than men to experience long-term health complications from untreated STIs including infertility. A pregnant woman can also pass an STI along to her baby during pregnancy or childbirth. According to the CDC, 1.1 million people in the US are living with HIV, and 1 in 7 of them don’t know it. Even if you are in a monogamous and/or consenting relationship, isn’t it smart and sexy to know what the baseline is. You know what’s not sexy? Getting an STD. http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/sexual-health/womens-health/women-and-stis/ http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/stdsstis/statistics/ Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Let’s talk birth control. When I was about 18 I got on the pill. I wasn’t sexually active but I thought it would help me with my acne. I didn’t ever reconsider my birth control options for at least a decade. A couple years ago I decided that I really needed to reexamine everything in my life that was on auto pilot and make sure that it was still the best thing for me. I discovered the IUD which can be inserted in one quick appointment and last from 3-10 years. Mine was covered by insurance. It got a bad rap back in the 80s due to a faulty device on the market but that has long since been re-engineered. There’s also no user error. With the pill, you need to take it at the same time every day. That gets tricky when you are crossing time zones and an international date line. The contraceptive methods with the highest efficacy are implants, IUDS and sterilization. Implants and IUDS are long acting reversible contraceptive (LARC) methods. If you and/or your partner haven’t reconsidered birth control options in awhile perhaps it’s time to take a look. https://www.who.int/en/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/family-planning-contraception https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/contraceptive-use-united-states https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/why-do-some-doctors-refuse-to-give-women-iuds/2017/10/12/ee1e881e-a3c9-11e7-b14f-f41773cd5a14_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.2ab1e62313f4 Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
As a woman, the blessings and burdens of reproduction matters will fall squarely on your shoulders because you’re the one that can carry babies. This issue will be time sensitive for you. If you want to have your own, there is some scheduling involved. You can’t just do it any time. There is a period in your life that you will have viable eggs. After that, the cost and resources required for you to have a child will increase significantly if you can’t use your own eggs. And the rub is, you may have to make some decisions before you have all the information including who your parenting partner may or may not be. If you’re approaching 35 and still not sure if you want to have your own biological children, consider having your eggs frozen. This is what always made me consider my time as gold. Frankly put, if no one had told you this already, as a woman your time is more important than a man’s. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
The ICPD or International Conference on Population and Development in 1994 adopted this vision of reproductive health: Every sex act should be free of coercion and infection. Every pregnancy should be intended. Every birth should be healthy. No population in the world has fully attained the state of health described by the ICPD. Do you believe that reproductive autonomy is a basic human right? That everyone in the world should deserve to decide the number and spacing of children they have? At first glance, this discussion affects women more because abortion, pregnancy care, and safe delivery all directly affect a women's health. Sexually transmitted diseases, sexual violence and circumcision are more serious threats to health for women than for men. However, men's views and behavior directly affect prevention of sexual coercion, condom use for prevention of sexually transmitted diseases, adoption of contraceptive methods and healthy communication. So where do we begin? Have you committed to making every sex act free of coercion and infection? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK233282/pdf/Bookshelf_NBK233282.pdf Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
I’m proud to talk about menstrual or period health but that wasn’t always the case. My first period meant rummaging through my mom’s things until I found some pads because I was too embarrassed to talk about it. I did not revisit this issue for at least 20 years. I hadn’t re-considered how I was handling my menstrual cycle except that I was annoyed when I was traveling by the number of products I would have to bring because I couldn’t count on being able to find them abroad. I tried washable period panties and reusable pads, still not great for traveling. My research finally led me to the silicone menstrual cup. It’s shaped like a flexible mini-wine glass without the base. It also happened to be the most cost-effective - pays for itself in months; hygienic - sanitize in boiling water once a month; and sustainable - reusable medical grade can last 10 years, compare that to the average US woman who will use more than 11,000 pads and tampons in her lifetime. I’m a fan! Tell your partners, moms, sisters, girl friends about it. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Half of the world experiences menstruation, yet females still face extraordinary barriers simply because of their periods. A study found that 71% of girls in India report having no knowledge of menstruation before their first period. (From the Menstrual Health in India Report sponsored by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation) My first reaction, that’s absurd! Yet, when I thought back to puberty I can’t remember anyone talking to me about my first period before it happened. Not even my mom. In Africa, you’ll hear girls refer to their periods as their time of shame. The unavailability of sanitary products in developing countries is a barrier to education for school age girls. It contributes to absences of up to 4 to 5 school days each month, that’s 20% of the academic year skipped due to menstruation. It further limits their future career and economic opportunities. Let’s get rid of the stigma and taboos. Be proud. Period.
http://menstrualhygieneday.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/FSG-Menstrual-Health-Landscape_India.pdf
https://www.afripads.com/what-we-do/
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Happy International Women's Day. This year’s theme: Think Equal, Build Smart, Innovate for Change. I will be spending the rest of March talking about women’s issues. Women’s issues are also men’s issues because we all need each other. I happen to be uniquely qualified to speak as a woman so tune in ladies. And if you’re a man, tune in so you can understand what is happening with 50% of the world's population. I take your feedback to heart. I hear you wishing for better sound. I have a new microphone and hope the improvement in sound quality is an indication of how much I value you as my tribe. You deserve the best that I can afford to give you. I also hear you asking me to get personal. So I’m going to the edge where it’s not comfortable. That’s where the growth is for me too. I hope to inspire you to do the same in your own life.
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Do you apologize too much? Or not enough? If you fall in the former camp, you’re constantly saying I’m sorry. You find yourself reaching for something at the same time as someone else and say I’m sorry instead of excuse me, go ahead. Or if someone is blocking your way, you say I’m sorry instead of pardon me, may I pass. Stop. Don’t give away your power. You’re making yourself small with your speech. You don’t need to make false apologies. This is how you maintain integrity of speech. Save your apologies for expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restitution, genuine repentance and requesting forgiveness. And if you’ve never apologized in a meaningful way, you're robbing yourself of a great gift. To be wrong and see that you are loved in spite of your mistakes. I’ll be helping you with that in the future.
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Sharing some thoughts from Sam Hill. He says, "The people you are dealing with are suffering. Almost everyone you meet is practically drowning in self concern. Just look at them. Listen to them. They are broadcasting their own self-doubt and anxiety and disappointment. They are worried about what others think of them. If you get out of yourself for a moment. If you can just take a step back from feeling implicated in what’s happening around you. You will generally see that you are surrounded by a carnival of human frailty.” Thank you Sam Hill. This is so beautifully put. It opened my heart wide to a tidal wave of compassion. It really did make me take a step back and realize my implication comes from my own self concern. We really are in this together. Look and listen today, notice what others are broadcasting. What’s beneath the bluster?
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One of the benefits of understanding the discussion on values is that it helps you appreciate others. When someone makes a decision that is different than yours, they're just living by what they think is important. That’s how two people can get the same information yet come to a different conclusion. That's more than okay. I hope it allows you to have compassion for others. They struggle with the same thing you do. There’s constant angst when you're not living in alignment with what your heart truly values. As we grow up, we tend to adopt the values of our family, culture, society or any organizations we belong to. Adulting means knowing who you are and what you stand for when none of those things are around you.
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Let’s get to applying your highest value. What use is knowing if you don’t apply it. It’s like going to the beach and leaving the sunblock in the car. Yesterday, you chose the value that matters most. The one you were left holding from a list of at least 30 values. After I sat with my pile, I ended up holding Connection. How do I use this to make decisions? Let’s say that I have two competing events to go to. One is a large party with 100 people and another one is a small dinner with four friends. I would take a minute to reflect which one offers me the most connection. For me, it would be dinner with my friends. I’ll know I’ve chosen correctly, because once I’ve gone and had the dinner, I’ll feel great about it. That’s what happens when you live by your highest value. You instantly know you’ve honored it because it feels good. If you are living by someone else’s values, you’ll feel burned out. Slather that SPF 100 Value all over, apply daily!
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How to identify your most important value. Today we’re talking about picking your nose. Just kidding, let’s talk about choosing your top value. You probably spent more time picking your nose as a child than you have as an adult figuring out what values your life revolves around. Let's go ahead and do that. Get paper. Write out the 30 values covered in episodes 32 through 61, beginning February 1st so you can see them all in front of you. Add any values that are important to you that are not on the list. Rule out all but 10, I mean physically cross out lower priority values. Cut that in half until you are left with 5. Cross out 2. Cross out 2 more until you are left with 1. Circle it. There you have it. In less than 5 minutes you chose the value that speaks most to you. Do this exercise with your team or friends and share your top values with one another. You’re welcome! I just saved you thousands of dollars on an organizational team building and values workshop. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Value Vulnerability. "It's the courage to show up and be seen." Thank you Brene Brown. It’s so simple and profound. I feel like we’ve grown accustomed to wearing a lot of armor in the world. Modern day armor can be makeup, clothes, accessories and a nice haircut. Don’t get me wrong because for me those things also fall under the category of art, beauty and expression. But a lot of the same sensations that go with naked also describe vulnerability. Vulnerability is something I have to choose who I’m going to show it to. I’m always so impressed when people are exceptionally good at this, about highlighting their humanity. I feel like we’re not ready for it until somebody has made it. It’s so uncomfortable to see somebody in their process, it’s just too close to home. That’s why when we have friends we can be vulnerable with or they can be vulnerable with us it’s so special. It’s really saved for a circle of very intimate close relationships, we’re not just vulnerable with the world. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com Thank you so much for listening to The Lin Life Universe. I hope you’ve been enjoying it. Please leave a review!
Value Wisdom. This is something that we tend to associate with our elders or age and experience. But sometimes you’ll hear wisdom come out of the mouth of babes. It’s just something that rings to be universally true. In the science world there are theories and scientists test them to see if they hold. That’’s what we hope for with wisdom. There are many opinions but which ones over time and all sorts of different experiences keep ringing true. As a coach, I feel like I spend a lot of time showing people that there are so few truths out there, we can make our own beliefs. Wisdom is holding onto the beliefs that serve us well and letting go of the ones that don’t. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Spirituality. This is fascinating for me because I have some strong beliefs about my own spirituality. I do believe it’s an exploration of the things that make you who you are and the connection to something bigger than ourselves. Things don't always quite add up in life. When I see people who against all odds have really turned their lives into somethings exceptional. I just think man that was your spirit because you just defied all the statistics, the outcome is contrary to your experience and upbringing and culture. Something in you despite maybe not having both parents, suffered abuse, the mundane or whatever setbacks including the trappings of misspent wealth or soul-sucking success figured out that you wanted and deserved more. Even though there wasn't a single voice from the outside saying it. To me that's the spirit. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Self-expression. Feeling free to share who you are and what you believe in. It’s really built into the fabric of American society. Most forms of expression are protected under the First Amendment, freedom of speech. To say how we feel and what we think even if it goes against popular opinion. How do you support your own self-expression? Do you have a creative outlet for it like writing, singing, painting, dance, make-up, fashion, making music or some other form of art? Or perhaps it’s a platform you support through rallies, marching, protests, fund-raising. Self-expression is more than words. It’s the embodiment or extension of something inside you. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Security. This is a sense of being anchored and feeling rooted. This could be secure within ourselves, secure in a relationship. Other ways that we have security in this world are through status symbols, homes, jobs. We’re in this era where things are changing so quickly with a generation that is not as attached to their things and choosing more experiences. We have to ask ourselves what does security mean then? Being able to choose where we can live and travel, having skills that are transferrable and marketable in a quickly evolving global economy, confidence that we can leverage our income and talents into a lifestyle of shared experiences? Don’t underestimate the power of this value. Entire kingdoms have risen and fallen based on how secure the people have felt in the governing bodies ability to keep them physically and financially safe and sometimes walled in. What makes you feel secure and gives you a sense of security in your life? Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Recognition. I feel like sometimes millennials get a bad rap for needing so much recognition. But before there were ever millennials, the studies from businesses about what employees needed the most to feel like they belonged and were making a contribution was to feel recognized. This was the number one thing, to be recognized for doing things at your company, the work that you are paid to do. The people who are really great at this tend to be words of affirmation people. That’s the benefit of making sure you always have someone like this on your team or within your company. Because they don’t hesitate to say it, to give that recognition and they’re so free with it. It costs nothing and it makes people feel so good. My challenge: Identify one thing that you can appreciate and give that recognition to someone today. Notice if that is hard for you. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Relationships. For me, I define business as the relationships that support my livelihood. Sometimes that’s relationships with inanimate objects like tech, mobile phones, computers. Relationships are about valuing the people and never forgetting the people in the equation. How are your relationships? When it’s all said and done, are you a kind and tolerable enough person that you can share what you have with those that you want to have around at this stage in your life? Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Making a Difference. If you are listening to this, it's probably because this matters to you. You’re a change maker and you want to know that your life made a difference. It's part of your purpose. There are many ways to make a difference. Perhaps you stay up at night searching your heart for the purpose in your life. You wonder and plot how to make an even bigger difference. This drives you. Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Learning. This is a shoutout to all my lifelong learners. You get joy from adding knowledge and the expansion of your mind. Perhaps you’re a career academic or you host a book club. Your podcast queue is impressive. Perhaps you can’t date or marry dumb because you want to learn from those closest to you as well. This value gives you a teachable mind that stays sharp. Even if this is not your highest value, you’d benefit from having someone in your network that is because they always have something to contribute. Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Integrity. I looked up the definition. My favorite one was to be whole and undivided. What I loved about it was this sense of completeness. That you’d be whole within yourself and whole outside of yourself. That would mean integrity of speech, integrity of action. From the beginning to the end you could see the integrity because it would feel whole. I think there's even a wholeness in the emotion that it shines through in the speech and the action. It’s so complete. Not only to yourself but to somebody on the outside. There’s something really beautiful about a value that has this sterling quality. I feel like it’s the value that inspires the most trust. Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Independence. Being able to rely on yourself for the things that you need, to be able to be self-sufficient. As l was growing up that's all I wanted. I fiercely wanted my independence. I suffered as a child feeling like I had to rely on my parents' income for lodging, things like a roof over my head and clothes on my back, that I couldn't make my own life. I was a very precocious child apparently. Independence is the value of self-determination. The ability to think for yourself. The right to control your own life. Confidence in the ability to govern yourself. Is there an area of your life that still masters you that you need to master in order to feel independent? Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Humor. One of my favorite human beings on earth is Will Smith. He just makes me laugh so much. He could be delivering an important message but I feel like it’s infused with humor. There’s something to be said about going through our day to day life experiences and finding the humor in all of it. The funny ways that the universe pokes fun at us, that it has its own sense of humor. That it gets a giggle out of us. I think it’s a wonderful perspective to adopt. There are also a lot of conversations that we have where a little humor would go a long way. What’s something that you take a little bit too seriously where you can inject a little humor? Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Honesty, There is something really brilliant and brutal about honesty. If you ever have a chance to spend time with young children who have no filter because they ask their questions or point out things and say the things that really come to mind. My little nephew loves to come up to my sister (she'll kill me for telling this story) and put his hands on her stomach and say big belly big belly. He cackles away as he does it because for him it’s the most fun thing. He means nothing malicious by it at all. For him it’s just another game. People who have no filter can be a breath of fresh air unless they are talking to you in which case it may feel like a slap in the face. Sometimes that’s the beauty of having someone new in our life who has no context. They don’t know you well enough to tiptoe around your sensitivities. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Health. It’s the vehicle you drive through life with. It’s part of your physical enjoyment. When you don’t have good health, it hinders so many other things. Think about how much you can do when you are in optimal health. You’re eating, sleeping and exercising enough that your mental capacity and physical capacity partner up to do all the things that you want to do for the duration of your lifetime. So that your life’s work can be maximized. Often you don't notice it until something happens and you have an injury or illness. What’s some important maintenance that you can do to optimize your health? Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Happiness. There are two kinds of happiness. in general, we talk about experienced happiness, the moment to moment happiness where you are happy in the moment. Then there is remembered happiness over a time period which is happy in the memory. If you had a delicious meal and enjoyed every bite but the server spilled wine on you at the end of the night, will you feel it ruined your night? Or a relationship with many wonderful moments but ended. Does the ending color your remembered happiness? Which kind of happiness matters to you more? There is no right or wrong answer. Just what makes you happy. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Fun. I have a four-year-old nephew and for me, he epitomizes play and fun. If he sees you, he wants to play. When he wakes up, he can’t wait to get to his toys. Fun is being able to enjoy, be amused and it’s a lighthearted pleasure. One day I was at the park and there was this outdoor water feature, an interactive fountain and there were all these little spouts throughout spraying water. The place was littered with children, small children all the way from little infants being held by their parents, little toddlers running around giggling sitting on these little fountains that were shooting up, squeals of delight everywhere. I felt like I had never seen so much unbridled joy. Their laughter and excitement was so infectious. What’s fun for you? Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Fulfillment. As a coach, I love this one and find it really beautiful. It’s a sense that you have access to all that you need and want. It’s a personal fulfillment of your inner desires which is separate perhaps from what your family, society, culture or other organizational obligations might indicate. There’s a beautiful congruence of the person you believe yourself to be on the inside and the way you present yourself to the world on the outside. The world could collapse around you and you’d float around singing I got this because you are in harmony. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Freedom is a beautiful topic and a beautiful value. It's one that I think the millennial generation really gravitates towards and embodies. It means a lot of different things. It could mean financial freedom. It could mean freedom in a relationship that makes you feel free. When I think of freedom, I think of being free of fear, to be able to do absolutely anything and to believe that it’s possible. There's a lot of freedom in that. If I only put my mind to it, I can do it. For me that's freedom. What does freedom mean to you? What’s an aspect of your life that makes you feel free? Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Fame. Before you get all harsh and judgy, I was thinking about it and I’m not sure there’s too much of a difference between fame, influence and impact. To some degree, marketing and PR exist to increase and leverage our fame. If you’re a thought leader and esteemed in your field, that means you’re famous for what you do and are good at. Just make sure that once you get there, you remember what you wanted to do with your fame in the first place. Obviously as a do-gooder I want you to use your fame for the good of humanity. I encourage you to embrace this notion of the limelight. The world needs more good ones in it. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Belonging. I think this can get a bad rap when we associate it with trying to fit in back in our awkward teenage years. But I’m going to assume that now that you’re an adult, you understand that you get to choose your friends and your community. Consider this, our personal resilience is interwoven into the resilience of the communities to which we belong. Some communities can lift us up when we are down and give us the capacity to deal with whatever challenges come our way. One way to work on increasing your sense of belonging is to look for ways you are similar with others instead of focusing on the ways that you are different. It requires acceptance of others and letting go of your judgments which build walls. Don't forget to take time to improve the community that you are in. Either by volunteering, taking a supportive role or assuming a leadership role. Pick one that reflects your passions and talents and gives you a chance to contribute. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Value Excitement. Do you know someone like this? The glass is not just half full, it is completely full All Of The Time! In my opinion genuine excitement is the successful integration of alignment and engagement. Another way to think about excitement is the act of exciting. The state of being roused into action or having increased action. I follow this guy on social media whose name is Gary Vaynerchuk. I’m not even exactly sure what he does but I know that he is definitely a champion for content creation. In a visual platform flooded by images like Instagram, I actually will play his videos even though they have captions just to hear how he talks. His excitement is infectious and rouses me to action. What excites you, what do you talk about that makes you light up and increases action in yourself or others? Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Excellence. Consider this the confident pursuit of highest quality when you believe in what you are doing and that it's value warrants your persistent commitment. Sometimes this can become an idealogical debate that excellence is tangible; therefore an ideal, perhaps never achievable. How about the notion of holding excellence? It's not an outcome of what you do but how you do it. A moment to moment endeavor. What’s an example in your life of a final product that you're holding to the value of excellence versus the practice of it. What if you could see the striving as excellence? Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Education. Do you believe that education is a fundamental human right essential for the exercise of all other human rights? It is a powerful tool by which marginalized adults and children can lift themselves out of poverty and participate fully as citizens. What does education mean in a first world country where school is compulsory? Where broader learning goes beyond that and provides a deeper understanding of the world around us. If education is self-empowerment, what do you need to learn now? What about an education that fosters expressiveness, energy, humor, imagination, the unconventional, the ability to see things from a different angle? Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Connection. Here’s what Brene Brown has to say about it. "I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” - Brene Brown. What do you think of that statement? I do believe humans are social creatures that will crave connection from birth to the grave. My tip for you is to introduce a tender moment in one of your connections today. To somehow find a way to bring your authentic awareness to somebody else's being, showcasing their energy and state of mind without judgement. If this is a challenge for you, pick the smallest detail. For example: I noticed the way you handed me coffee, the way you folded your napkin, the way your voice changed when the manager walked by. No need to categorize it, just to notice a small seemingly inconsequential detail and elevate it. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Creativity. What does it mean to you? For me it's the ability to make connections between seemingly unrelated things. It's value goes well beyond the arts to affect every discipline and industry. Creativity creates jobs, drives economic growth and provides answers to societal needs. It maximizes the human potential. Think how powerful it is having the ability to create the things we imagine, but first we have to imagine. Even people who say they value creativity will only embrace an outside the box idea with enough proof of a payoff. How much do you value creativity? Today’s challenge. Bend your mind today and see something from a different angle. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
Today's value topic is communication. Often at work this is the difference between a good manager and a great manager. In this information age when we have more knowledge than we could ever process in a lifetime, think about the power of being able to teach someone how to understand something. The ultimate show of our prowess in a field or subject is the ability not only to teach someone to understand it but empower them to be able to do this on their own. That's were massive amounts of leverage are happening. In your personal life if what is being expressed or requested on your end results in an unwelcome outcome, perhaps it's a measure of your communication effectiveness and not being able to understand how that info is being received. Ask yourself how can bolster your communication?
Let's talk about change. Now, when I said that word, what did you feel? Did you feel excited, relaxed, ready to embrace whatever that word represents? Or did you feel apprehensive, tense and resistant. We are in this era of unprecedented scientific discovery and technological advances and you’ve got to be a little curious about what will you do differently as a result of the change in the future state because that's guaranteed. More importantly, how will you be thinking differently as a result of the change? A tip I have for you to help you navigate change is to develop terminology and vocabulary to discuss your rich inner world. Workout those things within yourself so that you have a better internal roadmap which will result in a better exterior roadmap.
Today's value topic is challenge. This is life's way of making sure that what you truly desire is the thing that you're chasing. How often have you announced, “Universe, I want this!" And then it playfully tested you back with, “Do you really?" Imagine a world of no effort, discipline or commitment, yet every wish was fulfilled. Think how overwhelmingly meaningless and trivial that would be, how painfully empty life would feel. You would be deprived of the right to struggle to learn. Consider a challenge that you have in your life currently. What can you learn about yourself from it? What does it say about something you truly desire and how does that measure up to what you are currently chasing?
I can't think of a word that more lovingly represents the unknown then adventure. As we think about the value of adventure, it inherently involves risk. It's not always going to be entirely fun. But it does allow you to deal with new and unexpected change. It allows for more creativity and overrides the natural human tendency to predict doom and disaster. It also helps to overcome the tendency to avoid risk and stay where you are even if it makes you unhappy. It allows you to embrace confusion, self-doubt, getting lost and finding your way again as part of the process which allows for growth and expanded horizons. What can you embrace as an adventure in your life today?
Today’s value topic is acceptance. This is a really interesting one for changemakers. Because how do you go about changing the world and fully except yourself and others? One of the difficult aspects of the human experience is this notion of separateness, that we feel set apart and isolated. The value of acceptance is that it allows you to love others and lifts them out of their feeling of separateness. Don't you just hate it when someone comes to you and says, “You shouldn't feel this way." Because, DUH, I already do. A tip for when someone comes to you and shares how they feel. Start your reply with "I see" or "I hear that you feel _____" Reflect back their experience so you can validate that what they are feeling is true for them. It is their reality. Radical acceptance happens before radical change.
Do you know what your values are? Because if you do they can really help you prioritize as you make decisions in your life and how you want to go about things. You're in for a treat. Tune in for the next 30 days. We'll be talking about different values to see which ones resonate with you, the ones that really capture your imagination. The ones that you feel like when I talk about them, it really hits home somewhere for you. After this next 30 days, we’re going to talk about how to capitalize on knowing what you truly value. How to use that information effectively. Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
We live in a pretty opinionated world these days. You can ask anybody. They can have opinion on everything myself included. I wanted to give you a prompt today. What are your thoughts on, “My opinion isn't better than somebody else’s truth.” This came up in a discussion about whether alcohol was good or bad. Yes, I have an opinion on it because I enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. But for this other person, their truth was that alcohol didn’t serve them very well. In that place, I just thought, “Hey, I don't think alcohol is good or bad but my opinion isn’t more important than your truth."
How do you handle being irritated at somebody? Ask yourself what it is about their behavior that bothers you in this situation. They're just going about their lives being themselves. Just so happens it doesn’t live up to your expectations. In truth we have many, many of these. My tip: write down what is actually irritating you about the interaction. Sometimes seeing it on paper looks so ridiculous you’ll be able to laugh at your humanity. If you can’t succinctly write it out, then there’s just something else that is bothering you. This person may bring it out and they may cause some feeling to surface. But it’s something you’re still working out within yourself. Perhaps it’s your inability to speak up, or frustration that you can’t articulate what you feel or maturity to handle a certain emotion. Often the cause is from within and you would benefit from a little self-care. Because if you knew, you would address it and cease to be irritated.
I want to share how I harness the energy of jealousy. Something that really helps is having confidence. Because jealousy is the emotion relating to fear that something you have or someone will be taken away by someone or something. I really feel like there is nobody else like me in this world. So what do I have to fear, right? Even with that confidence, I’ll still feel jealous occasionally. I’ll look at that moment and ask what’s the deeper emotion behind that? There’s no way I could be jealous over someone I don’t even care about. It’s a strong emotion that is telling me hey I care about this person. Then it’s oh what a nice feeling it is to care about this person. I focus on that. If it’s appropriate, I find a way to show my caring. It gives my jealousy a positive outlet. If it’s a close friend making new friends without me, what can I do to encourage our friendship? If it’s a romantic partner spending time with other people, how can I continue to be a bright light and indispensable? If it’s a family member with new commitments, how can I support them which helps them and gives us more time?
Sometimes as we make choices, we sit down, write out all the pros and cons and try to predict which one will have the biggest impact or the most favorable outcome. While that’s definitely something to factor into the equation we forget to make the choice we feel most energized by. Let’s say you're working on your website and you have a choice between serving female small business owners, entrepreneurs or nonprofits. And while they all have similar qualities, hold each entity one by one in front of your heart. Imagine a name and a face and see how energized you feel about serving that person because that is the face of a whole community that you want to impact. Don’t underestimate the value of how much that charge will bring. That's a big part of the outcome and success of an endeavor.
Jack Kornfield: ”To live an awakened life is to be here in the reality of the present, in the now which is all we have. And to recognize that thoughts about the future are thought. You can use them, but you don't have to believe them, because half the time they don't come true. And thoughts about the past are gone. The past, you can learn from. To be awake is to live here so that when you are with the person you love, you’re really present, or with your dog, or with the work that you're devoting yourself to, or your creative life. Or whether you listen to your heart and realize that you are caught in fear and confusion.” I want to encourage you to look at your calendar for today and organize it so that you can be present for every moment.
“We know where the mind is. We experience it as our thoughts, our feelings, our emotions, our ideas. But where is the soul? Between every thought, we have a little space. That still presence that you feel, that’s your soul. It was there when you were a baby. It was there when you were a teenager. It's there now. It will be there tomorrow. And if you get really in touch with it, if you become familiar with this center of awareness that you really are, you will see it's your ticket to freedom.” Deepak Chopra. My question for you today, what are you doing to get familiar with this center? Take a few minutes to feel into that presence, that’s your ticket to freedom.
One year when it was my birthday, I pulled out a dress to show my best friend that I wanted to wear to the party. She said, “Oh my gosh it's so beautiful! Aren't you afraid you'll get it dirty.” I replied, “That just means I had a party and I had a really great time.” I felt like that was the reason for having a beautiful dress, was to actually be able to wear it. Are you still saving your special things or are you making things special? How can you go about making today extra special? An extra accessory to your outfit, put out the nice China for your meal, light that candle you’ve been saving for a special occasion? Go ahead, make today extra special. Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts about life to universe@theLinlife.com
What’s something in your life that's taking up massive amounts of bandwidth and energy and just giving you very little in return? It's time to consider letting go. A tip for letting go is to fill the space with something good. Because in order to move away from one thing, you have to move towards something else. Think about what you can move towards to make the letting go more palatable. Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts about life to universe@theLinlife.com
At some point, as you're pursuing your hearts desire and chasing your big dream. You’re going to have to stop taking advice. For the most part, advice that’s given anyways really isn’t that great. It won’t apply to your specific situation. It's like a small entrepreneur trying to take personal finance advice from somebody in the corporate world. There’s a time and place to max out your 401k. There’s a time and place to take all your savings and put it into your company and go for the gold. You have to have had enough experience, made enough of your own mistakes and failures that you can own all of it and be able to trust and lean into your own judgment. At that point, stop listening to other people. You don’t need that kind of advice.
Is perfection a bad thing or good thing for you? Here’s how to find out. If perfection is driving you to improve a process and you have fun while you're perfecting it, then it's not getting in your way. It’s you in perfect alignment with something that you're passionate about that you enjoy and energizes you. But if perfection is overwhelming you. The idea of having to have something just right prevents you from even getting out the gate. That's when perfection is holding you back. That’s when it's time to let it go. There's no need to get bogged down by absolutes. Just go with what energizes you. So if perfection is motivating you, then keep at it. If it's basically stopping you in your tracks, feel free to let it go.
Today I want to talk about Envy. You can turn that feeling into an aspiration. Envy is the emotion of coveting what someone else has. How do you go about turning this seemingly negative quality into something positive? For example, if you envy someone's success, news of a colleague’s promotion or someone's financial windfall. Ask yourself what’s behind the feeling? Notice perhaps your ambition and take a moment to admire that. If you envy someone's image or looks, perhaps it's the discipline behind the body, or the radiance. or confidence that you see. Find what you can emulate. That's how you turn your feelings into aspirations.
We have a tendency to worry about the future especially the uncertainty of the future. Consider instead your habits because your habits will become your future. If you have a habit of great dental hygiene, then your future will include fewer cavities and a brighter smile. If you have a habit of eating nutritiously and staying active, then your future will include a greater level of fitness. If you have a habit of reviewing your finances regularly and saving, than your future includes an account with money in it to do what you want. Your habits become your future.
I want to share a few quotes with you from Mary Oliver. The first one reads, “Instructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” The second quote reads, “To pay attention. This is our endless and proper work.” The third quote reads, “Ten times a day something happens in me like this. Some strengthening throb of amazement. Some good sweet empathic ping and swell. This is the first, the wildest and the wisest thing I know: that the soul exists and is built entirely out of attentiveness.” I want to share those quotes with you and encourage you to pay attention today whatever it is that means for you.
One of the causes of unnecessary suffering in your life is the word should. There’s this belief that you should do something or should not do it. Then you go and ask your friends and your family, “Should I do this? Should I not do this?” Sometimes you pay advisors and consultants. “What should I do next?” That's not the right question. The right question is, “How do I do this?” Find something you want to do. Then ask how do I do this. Start doing it. If you don’t want to do the work, then there's your answer. So that's the shortcut. There is no should. Just what you want to do and how you go about it. Want answers? Send your questions, comments and thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com.
Today I want to talk about one of the side effects of upleveling. That way you're not caught off guard when it happens to you as you try to make improvements in your life and strive for more within yourself and beyond yourself. This is the feeling that you'll be lonely. Imagine that you're getting into an elevator and you can't take everybody with you. Not everybody's going to come up at the same time as you. Anticipate it, be prepared for it and do not be dismayed. It's part of the ride. Fear not, there will be another group waiting at your destination floor. You’ll find and make new friends that resonate at your new bandwidth and find that the lonely ride was worth it.
Sometimes we treat goals like they’re some kind of mecca. Goals are opportunities to engage ourselves in a process. If you don't find a way to appreciate and enjoy the process which is the journey along the way, you’ll be shocked. You’ll reach your goal and it won’t give you the lasting feeling that you hoped for. That's part of why you can have all the goals and have reached and achieved everything that you set your mind to and still be disgruntled and dissatisfied. A little empty and unfulfilled. Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com.
Today I want to talk about stress mastery. At some point as human beings we’re all going to encounter stress. One important step is to assess whether the stress is due to expectations, comparisons, capacity, relationships or ability. If it's due to expectations, then there's some mindset work that needs to happen to adjust those expectations. If it’s due to comparisons, find a lower bar to compare to so you feel better about yourself. If it's due to capacity, this will involve you learning a new skill or bringing some additional help in to expand that capacity. If the stress is due to relationships then perhaps those relationships need to be re-defined or conversations need to be had. If the stress is due to sheer ability, sometimes it’s best just to remove yourself from the situation.
Today I want to talk about nourishment for our bodies. Our bodies are physical containers for our mind, spirit and soul. We want to take care of it. Sometimes a diet has a negative connotation. Instead of thinking about a diet for your body, think about nourishment for your body. What kind of food can you eat today that's yummy and delicious and you'll feel good about yourself after you've eaten it. While you're eating, be mindful. Consider at which point there is a diminishing return on the joy you receive from eating it because that's your maximum point of nourishment. That's a great point to stop at. Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com
I want to share a mindfulness practice with you on how to handle particularly strong emotions or feelings that are perhaps crippling or disabling. For example: Anxiety. Normally you start off, “I'm so anxious.” I want you to put the words, “I'm having the thought...” in front of that. So in this case, “I'm having the thought that I feel anxious.” This allows you to be a conscious observer of your emotions instead of 100% identifying as the emotion. Next put the words “I notice” in front of that. “I notice I'm having the thought that I feel anxious. From this transcendent state, you can be present with your emotions. Giving yourself enough room to make decisions and take action.
I already know that you have a huge heart because you want to make an impact in the world. So how do you do that and not end up completely overwhelmed by other peoples problems and take on all of their issues as if they were your own? The question I like to ask is, “Whose business are you in?” Ask yourself, “Am I in my business, your business or god’s business?” So if someone comes to me with their problem, I have to recognize that it’s their business and I can just hold space for them. I don’t need to take it on. This is a case where you set a powerful intention to make someone feel seen, heard and acknowledged. They feel empowered to deal and handle their own situation because they have been entrusted and given faith. But it’s not on me. I’m not the one that is going to change their lives, they are.
What you want is not in your comfort zone otherwise you’d already have it. Your impact in the world is largely going to depend on your ability to sit with your own discomfort. I want you to consider the feelings that really make you uncomfortable and treat them like new kids in a classroom. Say hello vulnerability, hello sadness, hello anger, hello boredom, hello shame, hello grief, hello fear, hello overwhelm, hello shyness, hello self-judgment. Instead of defaulting to defensive patterns like lashing out, ignoring, escaping or perhaps medicating your classmates. You can just say, “I don't know why you're here. You make me very uncomfortable. I don't have to like you but we can sit together while I learn.” These will be your companions on the path to getting what you want. By treating them kindly you're treating yourself kindly.
Today I want to talk about intentions and expectations. An intention is an idea or plan of what you want to do or accomplish. More importantly it's the mental state behind the commitment. It’s the heart and soul of what you want to bring to the table. An expectation on the other hand is a belief that an outcome or experience should be a certain way. If you are thinking about how to go about your day or what to bring to a meeting. Isn’t it more powerful to bring the one that you can control? Which is your intention, the mental mindset, the heart and soul you want to show up as in that interaction.
I want to encourage you to rethink happiness. Consider that happiness is an emotion and not a state of being. There are quality states like being satisfied and being fulfilled that you can be in and not necessarily be happy. I can be a fulfilled person and still have every emotion because some situations call for happiness, some situations call for anger and some situation call for sadness. That doesn't mean I’m unfulfilled. Having happiness as a goal, having an emotion be the goal results in a lot of disappointment. It’s a high that's difficult to maintain. That expectation actually creates more stress in our lives. Instead of thinking about holding an emotion as the goal think of a quality state to be in. You can be in the quality state of being faithful. You can choose to have faith in the face of adversity even when you can't be happy.
Do you know what the scary thing about believing in universal intelligence is... that it’s really all possible? The really scary part of that is you might actually do something about it. That’s what happens with real belief. The power of emotionally believing something is really hard to contain. In fact I don't think you can. You just move towards something because it's inevitable. Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts about life to universe@thelinlife.com.
The only reality that matters is your own. As you think about shaping that and what influences it, you have to think how you feel about yourself. I travel a lot solo and I get asked often, “Why are you still single?” On this particular trip, I was in a Spanish tapas bar eating and drinking and having a good time by myself. These two guys ask me this. I just told them, “There's nothing wrong with me. I'm perfect just the way that I am.” And in that moment my reality became their reality. They thought I was just as amazing too. I'll leave you with that. The only reality that matters is your own and that's the one you have to spend time shaping.
Good morning. Today, I want to talk about dreams and dreaming a little dream or dreaming a big dream. We often overestimate what we can do in one day but underestimate what we can do in ten years. I want you to dream your big dream. And then think how can I make that big dream even better and go beyond it and outside of it? This is to stretch our dreaming muscles. Because if we can think it and imagine it, it’s possible for us. So I want you to imagine bigger and think better to make your possibilities even greater. Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts to universe@thelinlife.com.
Sometimes after I've had a good cry, like a really good one because I’ve been really sad, I’ll have a moment where I can pull myself together and then I’ll just be in awe that I’m having one human emotion that shows that I'm alive. And I had it in great depth because I sobbed incessantly. It's a beautiful thing. What powerful emotion do you have in you that's dying to get out? So let it out and treat it as something beautiful. Want answers? Send your questions, comments or thoughts to universe@thelinlife.com
Caroline Myss quote: Your spirit is the part of you that is seeking meaning and purpose. Another way to understand spirit is that it’s the part of you that is drawn to hope, that will not give into despair. The part of you that has to believe in goodness; that has to believe in something more.
What are you doing to feed your spirit today? What can you do, think, say or believe to bolster your spirit because that's the part of you that believes in goodness. That's the part of you that believes in something more. You never want that part to die. If you have any questions, thoughts or comments, please send them to universe@TheLinLife.com
Hello and welcome to 2019. I want to encourage you to think about a word for the year. Sometimes having a resolution is really overwhelming. This year, for me, my word is CREATE. I want to actually think about being creative, doing creative things, bringing things into the world and just being in full creation mode. I want to encourage you, instead of trying to find a resolution. Just think of a word that inspires you. Capture that spirit and hold onto that for the year.
Life Coach Karen Lin of The Lin Life inspires you to Live your Legacy. A legacy is what you give to the world everyday that you are in it, not something that you leave behind.
I help change makers who want to make a difference in the world amplify their impact.